TCU Parent & Family Magazine, Vol 4/ Issue 2, November/December2016

Parent & Family Magazine

Volume 4/ Issue 2

November/December 2016 Contents: Kay’s Column A Message from the Director of Parent & Family Programs Chancellor’s Holiday Greeting Updates from Housing & Residence Life Alcohol, Hazing & Sexual Misconduct

The TCU Parent & Family Magazine is a publication from Student Development Services in the Division of Student Affairs at Texas Christian University.

2901 Stadium Drive Brown-Lupton University Union Suite 2003 Fort Worth, TX 76129 www.parents.tcu.edu parents@tcu.edu 817-257-7855

Helping Students in Becoming their Best Selves Juggling College Life: How You Can Help Your Students

TCU Mission: To educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and responsible citizens in the global community.

TCU Vision: To be a world-class, values-centered university.

Connect with TCU news, social media, photos, and more at www.newsevents.tcu.edu

Parent & Family Magazine Greetings!

In spite of what must be accomplished, students have been so eager to arrive home, visit with family, meet up with high school friends, and perhaps help prepare holiday foods. Finally, the day came for their departure from campus!

The break is long this year (December 16 – January 16). If your student is home the entire time, you might begin to hear something about “being bored” and “ready to go home.” Disconcerting though the words may be, you should want it that way. Students’ desires to return to campus and normalcy demonstrates growth and development toward independence. They will always be anxious to spend time with those they love, but they are able to envision more than one place in the world where they can find entertainment, challenges, good friends and mentors, peace, and contentment. May the days you have together be special to all who share them!

If you are a fortunate family with a student graduating from TCU on Saturday December 16, “Congratulations to your son/daughter and to you!” This milestone is significant in all the ways one can think. At the same time that you remind your student that “Once a Horned Frog, Always a Horned Frog” remember that the rule applies to you,

as well. Your family is a part of the TCU Family forever!

With diploma in hand, you student will be going to grad school or off to a job. In either case, it could be in a new city, closer or farther from you than TCU. Your student, having become very comfortable at TCU, may be anxious, thinking about meeting new people, being responsible for him/herself in every sense of the word. Remind that young man/woman that all the people back home as well as all those at TCU who have been there for him/her – are still there. Exciting times lie ahead.

For those of you who will be continuing as parents of current TCU students, I want to notify you of a change in our future communication method. Instead of this magazine which averages twice a semester in distribution, beginning in January we will be implementing a blog-style process. This will allow us to communicate more frequently with timely information, posting information on the parent and family website, www. parents.tcu.edu (click on Parent News).

We highly encourage checking in often so you don’t run the risk of missing some time-sensitive information. We’ll also send out occasional summary emails and post to the TCU Parents & Family Programs Facebook page with links to the articles, in case you missed something.

We hope that you will find this method more helpful as you stay current with information you want to share with your student. In addition, remember to check

our official Facebook page, TCU Parent & Family Programs for information that we share, the TCU Parents Association Facebook page for questions & answers with other parents, and the website, What2Do@TCU. Remember to watch TCU take on the Georgia Bulldogs in the Liberty Bowl, December 30 at 11:00 a.m. CT in Memphis, TN! Whether you are there in person or listening on TV (ESPN), I will be listening to hear each one of you cheering loudly! I know that you will not disappoint!

May you know the peace and joy of having your family and friends close to you in this holiday season. Enjoy!

Go Frogs!

Kay Higgins, Ph.D. Associate Dean of Student Development Services and Director of Parent and Family Programs

Click for a video greeting from Chancellor Victor J. Boschini, Jr.

Click here to see a student-created slideshow of the TCU Tree Lighting.

December 2016 Updates from the Office of Housing & Residence Life Follow us!

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter using @TCU_Housing to find out about upcoming events and important information.

Important dates for the winter break • Campus Closed: December 26-January 2* • Limited On-Campus Dining Options: December 26-January 2 • First Day of Spring Classes: January 17 • *Please note that the residence halls will remain open during the winter break.

• *Fraternity and Sorority Life halls will close for the winter break.

Work with us!

Resident Assistants (RA) are undergraduate students who have been selected on the basis of their ability to communicate, willingness to accept responsibility, enthusiasm to help others, and familiarity with the University. In University housing, the RAs work to establish and maintain a living environment conducive to a successful educational experience as well as being a resource to students. Reporting to the Hall Director, they are responsible for building relationships, upholding the rules and regulations of TCU, disseminating necessary information, attending to the personal safety of the residents, and helping maintain and protect University property. RAs attend training programs and workshops throughout the year in order to facilitate their own growth and development and to offer better service to residents.

2017-2018 RA applications are available until January 27, 2017 via my.tcu.edu.

Housing Student Assistants (HSA) The Housing Student Assistant (HSA) position is a student leadership opportunity in the Office of Housing & Residence Life (HRL). The primary responsibilities of the HSA are to serve as a customer service representative for HRL, work as a receptionist for the front desk in the central office, provide residence hall tours, represent HRL at recruiting and informational forums throughout the year and articulate policies, services and resources provided by HRL and TCU as a whole to students, parents, faculty, staff and other guests.

Please have students check their TCU email for information about upcoming position vacancies.

Visit housing.tcu.edu for more information about these positions.

GETTING ON THE SAME PAGE: WHAT WE TELL YOUR STUDENTS AND WHAT YOU CAN TELL THEM ABOUT ALCOHOL, HAZING AND SEXUAL MISCONDUCT

By Tiara Nugent, Program Director, Power2Choose “It’s a rite of passage.”

“It’s just what kids nowadays do.”

“I did it and I turned out okay.”

Have you heard any of those statements used in regards to alcohol, drugs, hazing or other risky acts before? Maybe said or thought a few of those yourself? I’ll bet they’re not new.

Let’s take a look then at the messages University staff work to communicate and reinforce with your students on three important subject – alcohol, hazing, and sexual misconduct – and the messages you can communicate to your student that support both University policy and your student’s safety and wellbeing.

ALCOHOL Exposure to alcohol and the opportunity to imbibe is pretty certain to occur during college. Regardless of whether your student chooses to drink, s/he will likely have friends, roommates or classmates who do. Knowing what responsibility looks like - and acting it out - can keep everyone safer.

What We Tell Your Students: TCU never encourages any student – of or below legal age – to drink alcohol. The legal age to buy and consume alcohol in Texas is 21 and university policies fully support that law. The state law and university policy are both re-iterated to new students during our Need2Know presentation that happens as part of Frogs First each August.

At the same time, we understand from university data that many, but not all, (data tells us one in four TCU students choose not to drink) of our students choose to drink anyway. Because our goal first and foremost is that your students stay safe and because the university recognizes that students make their own decisions about alcohol and other drugs, University staff conducts educational programs in the resident halls, for student organizations and for the campus at large that bust drinking myths and lay out the risks of alcohol use as well as give tips on how, if one is going to choose to drink, to drink responsibly and safely. Through these programs, we hope to empower all our students to make wise, informed decisions as well as be prepared to look out for the health and safety of others around them. Additionally, the University strives to offer quality alcohol-free entertainment, such as Friday and Saturday night programming provided by theEnd (featuring SNL cast members live, popular musical acts such as Macklemore and Rachel Platten) and tailgates before home football games.

What You Can Tell Your Student: Knowing and recognizing that temptation and risks of alcohol use allows you the opportunity to prepare your student to make responsible decisions. You can re-iterate the legal, social and safety risks of consuming alcohol, but again, your student will make his/her own choices at college (and have an abundance of friends doing the same) so it is wise to share some important drinking facts and tips to help motivate and equip students to make smart decisions. For example, you might make sure your student knows how to count drinks, to set a limit, to never leave a cup unattended, to keep five refusal phrases HAZING in his or her back pocket (“Thanks, but I’m okay for now”), to always go out with a buddy, HAZING is defined as “any intentional, and to always know what’s being consumed (i.e. don’t drink the punch). Don’t forget to remind him/her not drinking is always the safest choice. knowing or reckless act, occurring on In addition, avoid making jokes or glamorizing statements about underage drinking or drunkenness – what you say truly does influence your student’s attitudes and actions. If you consume alcohol, set a good example and drink responsibly. Along those same lines, if you host a holiday party this year where alcohol is served, encourage your guests to drink responsibly as well and never provide alcohol to anyone underage.

What to Do If You Have Concerns: If you or your student has concerns about alcohol use on campus or personal use/risk, contact Alcohol & Drug Education at 817-257-7100.

If there is concern of immediate danger to any student, call TCU Police at 817-257-7777.

HAZING Hazing has sadly existed for centuries, but the good news is that today schools and colleges – including TCU – are going to great lengths to prevent it. Knowing how to recognize and report hazing goes a long way to keep everyone happy and safe.

or off the campus of an educational institution, by one person alone or acting with others, directed against a student, that endangers the mental or physical health or safety of a student for the purpose of pledging, being initiated into, affiliating with, hold office in, or maintaining membership in an organization whose members are or include students at an educational institution.”

What We Tell Your Student: This one’s easy, plain and simple: TCU has a zero-tolerance policy in regards to hazing. The majority of student organizations and teams provide amazing, positive experiences for their members. Unfortunately, it is possible for groups to engage in negative behaviors known as hazing – acts of humiliation or demeaning tasks meant to ‘prove’ an individual’s commitment and worthiness to joining a group. This behavior is never okay.

To minimize these occurrences, TCU addresses hazing prevention in student organizations’ new member education as well as with student leaders. This August, a campus-wide email was sent from Campus Life to all students warning of the consequences of hazing and reminding students the different looks of hazing in order that all may be aware of what to avoid.

What You Can Tell Your Student: This one’s easy, plain and simple too: hazing is never okay in any form, under any circumstances. Any

suspected incidents should be reported immediately.

What to Do If You Have Concerns: Any parent with concerns about hazing or any student who has been hazed or thinks s/he is going to be hazed should immediately report such concerns/actions to the University Hazing Hotline at 817-257-HAZE (4293), the Office of Student Organizations (OSO), Office of Campus Life or the Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs. There is also a national, toll-free, anti-hazing hotline at 1-888-NOT-HAZE (1-888-668-4293).

SEXUAL MISCONDUCT TCU is committed to hosting an environment that is stimulating, inclusive, and safe for your stellar students. In today’s society, there are, however, unfortunate acts of harm that occur even in places we deem sound. Nationally, approximately one in five women will experience unwanted sexual contact – ranging from touching to kissing to rape – during college. This stat, derived an extensive study conducted by the Association of American Universities, presents a grave problem – one that can only be solved when policy makers, institutions of higher education, activists, parents, survivors and students work together to make sexual violence completely unacceptable and obsolete on and off campuses.

What We Tell Your Student: Our staff and faculty, as well as many student leaders, strive to educate the TCU student body regarding potentially risky situations as well as safe practices. We do this through a mandatory online module for all incoming students, special events and guest speakers that raise awareness to sexual assault and sexual misconduct, trainings that teach student and SEXUAL MISCONDUCT SEXUAL MISCONDUCT, as used and defined in TCU policy, staff practical prevention and safety skills, social media campaigns that blend the approaches previously described, includes sexual assault (which includes sexual intercourse and other outlets.

with a person without that person’s consent, and all other sexual contact with a person without that person’s consent), sexual harassment, and sexual exploitation (which includes electronically recording, photographing, transmitting or distributing intimate or sexual sounds, images or information about another person without that person’s consent), genderbased stalking, and gender-based relationship violence. Although sexual misconduct often includes unwanted or non-consensual sexual contact, sexual contact is not necessary for an act to be considered sexual misconduct. It is also a violation of this policy to aid another in an act of sexual misconduct.

In support of our students, TCU created its own Victim Advocate Program to provide emotional support and guidance through campus and community resources to students who are victims. Reasons a student may contact the Victim Advocate include, but are not limited to: assault, domestic violence, dating violence, sexual harassment, stalking, bullying, sexual assault, and prior assault.

What You Can Tell Your Student: Sexual misconduct is a challenging conversation, but one that can ensure your student is prepared to assertively set boundaries while letting him/her know your support is present should a situation arise.

Try starting the discussion by sharing tips for any night out – for instance, always use the buddy system and choose that buddy carefully. In nine out of ten cases of sexual assault the victim knows the offender, so going out with a trusted group of friends is always the best option.

Talk to your student about how to cultivate healthy relationships, what a consenting sexual encounter looks like (refer to Campus Life for the University definition), and how alcohol can influence their interactions with others (refer to Alcohol & Drug education for more information on that).

What to Do If You Have Concerns: The University strongly urges incidents of sexual misconduct be reported to the TCU Police Department, Campus Life – Dean’s Office, or the Title IX Officer.

Each of these departments can assist the student in obtaining physical, mental and emotional assistance. For immediate crisis assistance or support/help utilizing the resources mentioned above, contact the TCU Victim Advocate Program at 817-257-7926.

Students experiencing trauma may also seek help from the Office of Counseling and Mental Help or by calling TCU’s 24/7 counseling line at 817-257-SAFE (7233).

Finally, don’t let any of these three subjects ever be a taboo. Check in with your student regularly about what s/he may have seen or heard this semester. Discuss his or her reaction to these incidents and encourage questions. Don’t be afraid of hard ones – we’re here to help you too if you need it. Strive to end each conversation by praising the smart decisions your student has made, and remind him or her that whether one room or ten states away, you are always there to talk.

Helping Students in Becoming Their Best Selves -at the Teachable Moment!

Lindsay Knight, M.Ed., Assistant Director of the First Year Experience

During the 2016-2017 academic year, First Year Experience is partnering with the TCU Leadership Center to offer several leadership seminars specifically targeting the experiences of first year students. The seminars are offered as electives in the Leader Scholars program. Each seminar includes 8 hours of curriculum in small discussion based groups and will address issues that many students will face in their first year of college in addition to teaching them leadership skills.

This year’s first year seminar topics include: •

Translating Passion into Power: Civic responsibility and political activism

•

Who Am I? Figuring out who you are in your first year of college

•

The Busyness Culture: Strategic involvement for the overly committee college student

•

Responsible Citizenship at TCU: How to incorporate the mission statement into your everyday life

•

Resiliency: Why rejection and disappointment can be the best tool for success

•

Building your Legacy at TCU: Vision mapping for the next three years

Each seminar is offered once during the calendar year but during a time of year when research on first year students shows each topic is particularly relevant. The Political Activism seminar was the first to be offered and was a special offering given this year’s US presidential election. The 15 students in attendance learned the importance of civic engagement and how to have civil dialogue across difference.

Several students in the Political Activities seminar expressed that they were able to further develop and articulate their own beliefs due to the curriculum. “I loved the discussions that we were able to have. The videos were impactful, the resources were helpful, and the questions allowed me to be more introspective of my personal beliefs and values.”

Who Am I? A seminar focused on discovering self-identity was offered in October and included a diverse group of participants who explored theories of identity development. Each of the students also participated in an individual reflection project that focused on understanding aspects of identity that may or may not be salient to them, including gender, sexuality, race, and body image.

Students can register for spring semester seminars at www.sds.tcu. edu through the Leadership Center.

Juggling College Life: How You Can Help Your Students Dave Cozzens, Dean of Campus Life/Associate Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs

As you’ve noticed, parenthood is a lifelong relationship and it’s an ‘incredible journey.’

The journey is full of sharp turns and a few straight-a ways, ups and downs, failures and successes, and many adjustments. At new student orientation we talked about the importance of you allowing the process of “letting go” so that your emerging adults can find their identity, struggle with and gain their own psychological, emotional and (eventually) financial independence. Parents often ask “what is the right balance of interaction and distance?” This question is difficult because there are so many individual differences, but generally it’s a good idea to think twice before you offer unsolicited advice or intervene on behalf of your collegeage student. For your student to successfully move from adolescence to adulthood, they need to gain the experience of realizing their own ability to solve life’s problems – during which they will need to find their own acceptable level of failure (some “failure” is crucial as it stimulates learning and builds resilience). Suffice it to say that the more they do on their own, the more likely they will achieve the independence they need to succeed in college and life. Presently they should be trying to balance their studies, social life and sleep.

This academic year, like most challenging times, will present many opportunities to jump in and solve your son or daughter’s problem(s) which may feel good, and they will seem to appreciate it. However in the long run you will reinforce and inadvertently teach your student that they can’t solve their own problems and that your help is necessary. What you can do is offer your emotional support and occasional, well-timed suggestions and sensitive guidance.

Offering reminders to students about support services on campus is helpful, but allowing them to make the connection with those services is important.

Remember that you have laid a solid foundation the past seventeen or eighteen years and with that infrastructure your student will eventually build a solid independent life. In the off chance you think that you did not do due-diligence earlier, college is an ineffective time to catch-up.

Any time you are struggling with these adjustments yourself, remember to touch base with any of a number of TCU offices: Parent & Family Programs, Campus Life, Student Affairs, Counseling, Academic Services, etc.

Visit www.parents.tcu.edu to RSVP and learn more!

Our Mission: To educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and responsible citizens in the global community.

Texas Christian University 2800 South University Drive Fort Worth, TX 76129 www.tcu.edu