Best-Ever Narratives by Teacher Superstore

RIC-6295 4.6/70

Writing best-ever narratives (Lower secondary)

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Note to the teacher

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For teachers entrusted with the development of student writing skills, the past decade has proved to be a time of change. Indeed, much progress has been made in our understanding of text structure and language features.

While these developments have provided a catalyst for changing our pedagogy and increasing the number of text types we require students to construct, it has failed to address a very important factor in the creation of narrative; that is, how to nurture in students the ability to weave magic into their narrative writing. How can we teach students to write narratives that make readers want to read on? Or teach them to create characters that engender feelings of empathy in their readers? How can we teach them to conjure up feelings of delight, excitement and suspense in their writing? It is common knowledge that the first major step for teachers is to explore with their students the works of well-known authors and to share and discuss writing techniques that make these favourite stories so special. However, this on its own may be insufficient and sometimes teachers would like guidance in which components to highlight.

I trust you will find this book a useful teaching resource and that it will encourage you to create some narrative magic of your own. Best wishes,

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Rosemary Joy Allen

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This book aims to provide useful knowledge and activities to assist and support you in your efforts to pave a pathway to narrative magic. It is based on the theme that good writers wear many hats; they are architects, artists, poets, grammarians, amateur psychologists, film directors, script writers, good listeners, anglers, entrepreneurs, crusaders, anthropologists, sleuths, engineers, scouts, guides, wordsmiths, bibliophiles and historians. Teacher notes, as well as helpful hints for students and exemplar texts on the activity pages, have been included to support you in your quest for narrative magic.

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Punctuation: R.I.C. Publications® uses the form of punctuation recommended in The style manual for authors, editors and writers, 6th edition. Teachers should be aware that other forms of punctuation are equally acceptable, if applied consistently.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Contents page

Identifying the structure of narrative......................................................................................................6–7 Varying structure: starting your story a different way..................................................................8–9 Story starters with a difference...........................................................................................................10–11 Sub-genres: narrative structures can differ....................................................................................12–13

Unit 2

Description......................................................................................................................................................14–15 Concept mapping—1...............................................................................................................................16–17 Concept mapping—2...............................................................................................................................18–19 Making use of examples...........................................................................................................................20–21 Gathering images.........................................................................................................................................22–23 Using adjectives and nouns....................................................................................................................24–25 Using adverbs and verbs..........................................................................................................................26–27 Sub-genres have different settings.....................................................................................................28–29

Creating characters

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Unit 3 . . . . . . .

Creating settings

Using the first person point of view.................................................................................................30–31 Using description.........................................................................................................................................32–33 Using dialogue...............................................................................................................................................34–35 Using speech marks in dialogue—1..................................................................................................36–37 Using speech marks in dialogue—2..................................................................................................38–39 Using speech marks in dialogue—3..................................................................................................40–41 Developing characters..............................................................................................................................42–43

Unit 4

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. . . . . . . .

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. . . .

Narrative structure

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Unit 1

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Developing action

. Interest, tension and excitement using verbs...............................................................................44–45 . Interest, tension and excitement using adverbs.........................................................................46–47 . Interest and excitement using sentence structure...................................................................48–49

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Contents page

Using imagination

Thinking ‘outside the box’ and writing a fractured fairytale.................................................50–51 Thinking ‘outside the box’ and writing a myth............................................................................52–53 Think ‘outside the box’ and be a crusader....................................................................................54–55 Think ‘outside the box’ and be a sleuth..........................................................................................56–57

Unit 6 . . . . . . .

Developing expressive power

Using poetic images such as simile....................................................................................................58–59 Using poetic images such as metaphor...........................................................................................60–61 Using poetic images such as personification................................................................................62–63 Using poetic images such onomatopoeia......................................................................................64–65 Using poetic images such as repetition...........................................................................................66–67 Using poetic images such as assonance..........................................................................................68–69 Using poetic images such as alliteration.........................................................................................70–71

Unit 7

Planning tips

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Ways to get started and overcome writer’s block...................................................................72–73 Using ‘hooks’ to capture the reader’s attention..........................................................................74–75 Write about things that interest you................................................................................................76–77 Improve your vocabulary; know more about unusual occupations................................78–79 Use a proverb................................................................................................................................................80–81 Delve into history........................................................................................................................................82–83

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Unit 8 . . . .

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Unit 5

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Revising and editing

First drafts........................................................................................................................................................84–85 Punctuation.....................................................................................................................................................86–87 Choosing words wisely.............................................................................................................................88–89 Common errors...........................................................................................................................................90–92

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 1: Narrative structure Identifying the structure of narrative Indicator  Understands that narrative structures can differ from the usual prototype

Introductory notes

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The accepted pattern of narrative is:  setting/orientation  initiating event  problem  solution  coda (optional).

However, the aim of the activities on pages seven and nine is to show students that the structure of a narrative does not always need to follow this line of development. Adhering to the same structural pattern repeatedly may result in very boring stories. In addition, students frequently use an ‘I woke up; it was only a dream’ technique because they do not adequately plan their stories. Poor planning may result in: students writing overlong settings; devising unrealistic initiating events; addressing the problems in their stories very superficially; and not knowing how to solve the problem that they introduce.

Using the activity page

Have students read the narrative and then answer the questions. Answers should be: (a) The story begins in the writer’s home and moves to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. (b) The story takes place during the school holidays. (c) The writer and his/her friend Wendy are the characters. (d) They decided to explore a tunnel they had found at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. (e) They decided to do it because they were bored. (f) They entered the tunnel and they heard a noise. (g) The noise was a cave-in which disturbed a nest of bats. (h) The writer woke up from a dream.

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1. Revise the structure of a narrative (setting, initiating event, problem, solution) by discussing with students the idea that writers are architects.

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3. For Activity 3, encourage students to see that, although the story is well-structured, it is very boring. 4. Explain that, in the next session, you will show them how Benson could make his story more exciting by changing the structure.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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unit 1: narrative structure Identifying the structure of narrative Good writers are architects.

1. Read the story in the box. A day I’ll never forget It was the holidays. I was bored and the day was hot. Suddenly the phone rang and it was my friend, Wendy. ‘Do you want to come with me? I’m bored. Let’s go explore the tunnel we found last week.’ So we caught the bus to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. That’s where the tunnel was. We hadn’t explored it before because we were too scared to go into it the day we found it. Now we thought we might try to see where it went. We went inside the tunnel. It was dark, but Wendy had some matches.

r o e t s Bo r e p ok u S Just then I heard a noise that sounded like thunder.

It was really a cave-in and we were trapped. Bats were coming at us, so we ran and ran. Then Wendy fell over and I fell over too. I banged my head on something smooth. To our surprise, it was bars and bars of gold.

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They plan the structure of a story before they commence writing it. They know that the actions in their story must follow a logical order so that the story has a strong plot that makes sense. Just as an architect plans different structures to make buildings more interesting, good writers know that they can vary the structure of their stories.

So why aren’t we rich today? Just as I leaned over to grab a bar of gold, my alarm clock rang. It was just a dream. by Benson

Is this story structured? In other words, has the author included: a setting, an initiating event, a problem and a solution? Answer the following questions.They will help you decide. 2. Answer these questions about the story. (a) Where does the story take place?

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(c)

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(b) When did it take place? Who is in the story?

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(d) What did the characters decide to do?

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(e) Why did they decide to do it? (f)

What happened to cause a problem?

(g) What problems did the characters have to face?

(h) How did the writer solve the problem? 3. Which of these comments best describes your opinion of the story? Circle one of them. (a) The story is well-structured.

(d) The story is well-structured and exciting.

(b) The story is structured but boring.

(e) I really liked the ending.

(c)

(f)

The author has written a very good setting.

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The story does not have a clear structure.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 1: Narrative structure Varying structure: starting your story a different way Indicator  Identifies flashback techniques

Introduction

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The purpose of this activity page is to show students that the structural pattern of a narrative can be varied by beginning with the hint of a problem and continuing with a flashback technique. This incites the readers’ curiosity and encourages them to read on.

Using the activity page

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1. Have students read and compare the start of both narrative beginnings. Explain that Benson’s teacher read several story beginnings (written by different authors) to her students to show them that you don’t need to start your stories with an orientation/ setting. 2. Ask: Which story beginning do you prefer? Why? How is this one different from the first? 3. Have them tick their choice of answer to Question 2 and justify this choice.

4. Answers to Question 3 will vary but should reflect that Benson has included the first two sentences so that he could create suspense by just hinting that something is going to go wrong. He is using a flashback technique to make his readers want to read on.

Follow up

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Ask students to search for stories that do not begin with a setting/orientation. Read these aloud to show them that there are other ways to start a story.

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5. Answer to Question 4: I know I shouldn’t have suggested it, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Answer to Question 5: It never occurred to us that it could be dangerous.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 1: Narrative structure Varying structure: starting your story a different way 1. After studying the different ways that some authors start their stories, Benson changed the structure of his A day I’ll never forget story. Read his new way of starting and compare it with his first effort. All my life I’ve carried around a secret with me. It happened eight years ago when I was eleven. Imagine a morning in late June. Picture Singapore veiled in misty rain; rain that seldom ceases; rain that forces school children to stay indoors and become bored. This was just such a morning—nothing to do, nothing to eat and a mother glaring at my inaction.

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I know I shouldn’t have suggested it, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Wendy and I had discovered the tunnel some time ago when we hiked a trail in Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. At one point the trail dropped suddenly away and we came out on the edge of an emerald green lake surrounded by a sheer, rocky cliff. And there it was! Wendy saw it first. She had been guiding me along the jungle trail; always racing ahead of me, but that’s just typical of her. She always has to win. The tunnel was not easy to detect. Vines and lush greenery hung over the hole that gaped at the side of the craggy quarry. It looked like a perfect hiding place just above the waterline. It never occurred to us that it could be dangerous. We set out at 7:30 am, not a good time to catch a bus because workers from all walks of life don’t stop travelling to work just because it’s the school holidays. We squeezed past the crowds and managed to board the bus. It took less time than we expected to reach our target and soon we were standing at the mouth of the gaping hole.

(b)

This technique for starting a story begins with a setting/orientation.

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(a)

(c)

This technique for starting a story begins with the hint of a problem that will follow.

(d)

This technique for starting a story begins with a sequence of events.

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3. Why do you think Benson included the first two sentences in this new version of his story?

4. Which sentence in the second paragraph makes you wonder what is going to happen? 5. Which sentence in the third paragraph makes the reader feel that a problem is about to occur? www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 1: Narrative structure Story starters with a difference Indicator  Uses a flashback technique, given a story starter

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Using the activity page

1. Refer to the information in the box and remind students that not all stories need to start with a setting.

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2. Brainstorm the first example with the students, encouraging them to think laterally to decide what could have happened to make the day so exciting for the writer. To encourage varied answers, ask: Do you think ‘exciting’ refers to dangerously exciting or could it refer to happy news? 3. Suggest a title for a story that could follow this story starter. 4. For the remaining examples, students could work individually or in small groups. 5. Share answers with the rest of the class.

Additional information for students

 Point out that some writers give an immediate insight into their characters by starting with dialogue immediately.  Other writers begin by having their main characters ask a question to which they do not expect a reply. For example: Why did I do it? Why didn’t I just turn around and walk away? Point out that these are called rhetorical questions. Rhetorical questions do not require a reply—they are meant to stimulate curiosity.

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Optional activity

 Instruct students to choose one of the story starters to write their own narrative.

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 Ensure that they give their story a title.

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 Some writers rely on an exotic or strange setting to ‘grab’ their readers’ attention.

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 Form groups with students who have used the same story starter.  Instruct them to read out their stories to each other.

 Make an anthology of the stories and place it in your class library for students to read.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 1: Narrative structure Story starters with a difference Remember, your story does not have to begin with a setting. Instead, you can start by providing readers with a hint of the problem that will occur. This is called a ‘flashback’ technique. Attention is captured because readers want to know how the problem occurred.

Read the following story starters and write down what problem you think will occur, or has occurred.

(a) Today began like any other school day, but who would ever guessed that it was about to become the most exciting day of my life!

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(b) Just for one moment, close your eyes and think of your worst nightmare. Not very pleasant is it! Well, what would you do if you were suddenly faced with your greatest dread? You can’t always run away from your fears. Sometimes you just have to face them, like I was forced to do when I was just 10 years old.

(c)

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friends with newcomers. After all, I had a wide circle of friends, generous parents and plenty of electronic games to share. School life was enjoyable; that is, until Bruno enrolled at Smith Street High School. Then everything changed.

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(d) Have you ever had one of those days when everything seems to go wrong? Now let’s face it. I’m a 14-year-old boy and I have to admit that I’m not always an angel. But how many teenagers are perfect? Even when I try to do the right thing, I usually end up in more trouble than you would believe. That’s why I am sitting in detention right now. 2. Think of a problem and write a story starter that gives a hint about that problem. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 1: Narrative structure Sub-genres: narrative structures can differ Indicator  Selects essential information to identify the special features of narrative subgenres

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Using the activity page

1. Ask students about the title of their favourite story. Ask them what kind of story it was.

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2. Refer to the information in the box and remind students that there are many different kinds of stories and that these all have special features. They will find out about these special features by completing the activities that appear throughout this book.

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3. Have students read the descriptions and then complete the activity. The activity could also be completed as group work.

Answers 1.

(a) fairytales (b) science fiction (c) contemporary realistic fiction (d) fables (e) myths and legends (f) pourquoi stories (g) historical fiction

Extension

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2. Have the students write a list of appropriate story titles under each heading. 3. Alternatively, provide them with a reading list so that they can read a sample of each subgenre.

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4. Form reading circles with each group reviewing stories from a different sub-genre.

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1. Draw up a matrix and label it with the sub-genres.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 1: Narrative structure Sub-genres: narrative structures can differ Did you know that there are various types of narrative and that these sub-genres have differing themes structures and language features?

1. Match each sub-genre in the box to its definition.

science fiction

myths and legends

contemporary

historical fiction

realistic fiction

fairytales

fables

pourquoi tales

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(a) This sub-genre is popular with very young children who are transported into a dream world where magical things happen. Sometimes the main character is forced to complete a number of tasks in order to reach a goal. In this kind of story animals often talk and brave princes and beautiful princesses are featured.

(b) This sub-genre is thought to be more popular with boys, but many girls also enjoy reading these fast-moving adventure stories. Machines and robots feature in the plot which is usually set in an imaginative, futuristic world. The author may even include a special language for the characters in the story.

(c)

This sub-genre explores real problems experienced by children today. Usually the main character perseveres to overcome a difficulty in his or her life and this provides an inspiration for those who read the story. Mostly set in a real place, the story helps readers to understand that it is best to ‘stay true to yourself ’.

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(d) This sub-genre is usually very short and the characters in the story are animals that act like human beings. The main purpose is to teach us a lesson about our weaknesses and how we can avoid doing the wrong thing. The author does not tell you where the plot takes place, because it is not important to the story.

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(e) This sub-genre includes stories about gods and goddesses who mix with humans and sometimes cause them problems. Some of these stories have fabulous animals in them. The hero in the tale overcomes evil. (f)

This sub-genre explains how things come to be the way they are; for example, why animals look the way they do, or how geographical features are formed.

(g) This sub-genre is based on real happenings from the past. Usually, the main character has to battle to survive events. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 2: Creating settings Description Indicators  Recognises the need to develop settings that allow readers to vicariously experience the world faced by characters in the story  Distinguishes words and phrases that appeal to a reader’s sense of sight, sound, touch and smell in a given setting

Introduction

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Good writers are like artists—they paint ‘word pictures’ that make us feel we are right there in the story with the characters. Good writers help us to recreate the atmosphere experienced by the characters. Authors do this by appealing to their readers’ sense of sight, sound, touch and smell. If a scene is well-set, it will encourage the reader to develop a hunch, an instinct or an intuition for what could be going to happen. Read chosen excerpts from children’s novels; for example:  I am David, by Ann Holm, especially the end of Chapter 1 and beginning of Chapter 2 when David sees colours for the first time  The midnight fox by Betsy Byars  Bridge to Teribithia by Katherine Paterson  Danny the champion of the world by Roald Dahl  The cay by Theodore Taylor, especially the importance of touch and sound after Phillip loses his sight  Kingdom by the sea by Robert Westall  The railway children by E Nesbit gives a great insight into feelings if you compare the setting when the family is wealthy with the setting when they become poor

Answers

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1. After they have read the text, ask students: How does this setting make you feel? (peaceful, serene, calm, tranquil, safe)

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2. Accept any logical sentences and phrases from the text. Have some students justify their answers.

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3. Answers: wave crashed; cacophony of sea gulls that mewled

4. Jessica begins by creating a feeling of peace; then, in her last sentence she shatters the peace and safety by indicating that something is wrong at the beach house. She uses this to forecast a problem. This contrast creates a shock for readers and makes them want to read on. 5. Accept any logical sentences and phrases from the text. Have some students justify their answers.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Good writers are artists. While artists create pictures on canvas using paints and brushes, writers use words and paper to create ‘word pictures’. This helps their readers to feel that they are right there in the story with the hero.

1. Read the setting below. Jess dug her toes into the cool white sand, feeling the tiny wet grains cling to her skin then watching them fall away as the golden sun dried them. To the west, the aqua-blue ocean stretched endlessly until it melted into the distant horizon and tall pine trees edging the sand sighed softly in protest as a cold autumn breeze disturbed their rest. Every so often a small, cold gust would lift her long hair from her shoulders, fashioning it into a tangled mess. But Jessica, enjoying the morning sun caressing her back, was oblivious to the breeze. She watched as large puffy grey clouds gathered high in the heavens. ‘It might rain later today’, she thought.

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Good writers help us to see, hear, feel, taste and smell what the main characters are experiencing. They create images in a reader’s mind.

Note that Jessica has included all five senses in her writing to make us feel that we are really at the seaside.

Every now and then an unanticipated wave crashed onto the sand, drenching her in sea water; but Jessica embraced the familiar taste of salt that stung her tongue. She didn’t mind the damp or being disturbed by the cacophony of sea gulls that mewled and circled above her. ‘Such noisy creatures! Why must they always announce their presence to the world?’ she asked herself.

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Unit 2: creating settings Description

As usual, time slipped by quickly. It wasn’t until the delicious smell of frying onions wafted in from a nearby hotdog stand that she remembered she had not eaten breakfast. She dropped the handful of shells she had gathered and raced towards the family’s holiday home. Little did she know what awaited her in that little cottage by the seaside.

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3. What sounds in the text are used as a contrast to the peace?

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2. Write down some sentences or phrases from the text that help to create a peaceful scene.

4. Read the last sentence. Why do you think the author included it?

5. Write a phrase that Jessica has used as an example of the sense indicated. taste smell sight sound www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 2: Creating settings Concept mapping—1 Indicator  Examines a concept map to select images that personally appeal

Introduction

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1. Ask if any of the students have visited a country that has a different culture from their own.

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2. Encourage some of the students to discuss differences they noticed between the country they were in and their own.

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3. Use leading questions such as:

 When and why did you go? How did you travel—boat/plane?  What things did you see there that were different from home? Was the vegetation different? In what way—colour, height, shape? What about the buildings? Were they different? Where did the local people shop?  What did you eat? Was there anything special/different about the type/look/smell of the food? What did it taste like?  What was the weather like? Did it effect your holiday/visit?  How did you feel when you left home/arrived there?  Were there any unfamiliar sounds you could hear?

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3. Have students underline the entries that appeal to them and explain that they will use these to write a setting for a story.

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2. Ask them: Do you think China is very different from where we live? In what way is it different?

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 2: Creating settings Concept mapping—1 Constructing a concept map can help you to create a great setting. 1. Read the sample concept map below written by a 12-year-old boy called Nelson after a holiday with his family to China. Nelson compiled the concept map to use later for the setting of a story. Sound  harsh sounds; blaring horns; ear-piercing brakes then a dull metallic thud of metal meeting metal  honking horns mingled with desperate whistle beeps as a police officer tries to control the chaos—traffic banks up—cars purring as they idle while patiently waiting to move again  strange accent—hard to determine that people are speaking Mandarin—a slight curling of the tongue made simple words almost unintelligible— tones strange to my ear  a long sleepless stretch of night punctuated by the sound of a baby crying, screeching brakes, the stomping feet of hotel guests in the room above, the strident snoring of my father  disco drums for people on the dance floor below to gyrate to

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Visual  a grey concrete city—a striking contrast to the green beauty of home  grim outline of the city emerges through the smog  surrounded by towering buildings— gaol-like and claustrophobic  people with strange clothing—the guide says they’re from peasant backgrounds  little eddies of wind whirling dust and torn paper into spirals  people everywhere hurrying along like scurrying ants  hundreds of old bicycles that look like they are from a bygone era

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Smell  burning petrol and rubber  everything feels gritty, even the grey  the acrid smell of heated brake Taste air around me, but surprisingly it linings is not hard to breathe despite the  breathing  these mingle with the delicious constant haze hovering overhead leaves a taste of aroma of sweet potatoes polluted air in  the cold wind combined with roasting at a roadside stall my mouth but the dust makes my skin feel  chestnuts toasting in coals the food here stretched and dirty  in the markets, exotic is delicious  my body aches—the perfumed spices piled high hotel pillows are large  roasted duck—date-red and in baskets compete with and lumpy and the shining with oil, crisp skin the sea-salt smell of fish mattress is rigid and tender meat that almost  in the hotel the air is melts in your mouth  tired legs—we must have tainted with a cold, walked many kilometres  fiery sechuan chicken—brings tears menthol freshness today to your eyes but warmth to your that has obviously body  icy gusts of wind slap been artificially against my face and produced—I’m  gong boa ji ding—a spicy chicken dish cause tears to well longing to breathe with peanuts and vegetables—my up in my eyes fresh air favourite

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2. Underline sentences in each section/sense which appeal to you.You will be using these later to write the setting for a story about Beijing. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 2: Creating settings Concept mapping—2 Indicators  Justifies an opinion  Writes a detailed description using the images chosen from a previous activity  Gathers data to create a concept map

Introduction

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1. Have some students read out their selections from the previous activity and ask: What was it about this phrase/clause that appealed to you?

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2. Ensure that they have underlined selections to represent all of the senses.

3. Read aloud the beginning sentence that has been provided and explain that students are to write their own setting beginning with the given sentence. 4. You may wish to use modelled writing to illustrate to students the thought processes that you use when you are constructing a setting of this kind.

Using the activity page

1. Independent writing

(a) Allow students to write for 30 minutes. (b) Target some of the better texts and share them with the whole class by having the writers read them aloud.

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(a) Take students into the school grounds or to a nearby park. Provide them with clipboards and paper. (b) Tell them to find a spot where they will not be disturbed.

3. Have them write down their responses as a concept map.

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2. Gathering sense impressions

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 2: Creating settings Concept mapping—2 1. Using sense impressions chosen from Nelson’s concept map, write the setting for a story that takes place in Beijing. (Don’t use all the entries on the concept map, but try to include an example of each of the FIVE senses in your setting.) The beginning has been done for you! The sight of the great, grey city greeted us as we stepped cautiously through the doors of Beijing International Airport.

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SOUND – look around you and record what you hear

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2. Create your own concept map for a story setting located in your school. First find a place in the school grounds where you can sit without being disturbed.

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SMELL – look around you and record what you smell

TASTE – look around you and record what you can taste

TOUCH – look around you and record what you feel

3. Write down how this setting makes you feel.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 2: Creating settings Making use of examples Indicators  Uses appropriate adjectives and adverbs to write detailed descriptions that convey explicit information to the reader  Uses a thesaurus as an aid

Introduction

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1. Explain to students that good writers carry a notebook to record adjectives and adverbs that appeal to them, as well as eloquent phrases and clauses they meet in their reading. This can help writers to form original and expressive descriptions of their own. 2. Read descriptions that you particularly like from children’s books to the students.

Using the activity page 1. Work thorough the examples one at a time. For each example, ask students to identify words that relate to the given sense; for example:

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(a) The two small children looked up at the craggy cliff towering above them and shuddered at the thought of having to ascend the steep path to the top. (b) Mary wasn’t sure what woke her. Was it the raucous sound of magpies fighting over food, or the rhythmic whine of the harvester chopping off the golden heads of wheat on the field close to her window? (c) I breathed deeply, but instead of the sharp, tangy smell of salt, my nostrils were overcome with the rotting smell of decaying fish mingled with the contrasting perfume of a nearby frangipani bush. (d) I fell from the tree and landed on my face. The salty, metallic taste of blood gushed into my mouth, reminding me that my previously perfect teeth might not be so perfect in the future. (e) Tom felt it was well worth the strenuous climb to the top of the steep hill as he free-wheeled down the slope with his T-shirt, freed from his sweaty body, flapping and drying rapidly in the cool exhilarating breeze.

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2. For a few of the examples ask: Can you think of another word that the author could have used instead of this? 3. Have students carry out the activity as directed.

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Creating images is the most important tool that writers have in their toolbox. But, just like a hammer needs nails, images need words. 1. Read the following images and use them to assist you to write images of your own using the same setting. (a) Visual image (setting: a national park) The two small children looked up at the craggy cliff towering above them and shuddered at the thought of having to ascend the steep path to the top.

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To be a good writer, you must build up a bank of descriptive expressions and words to convey what you see, feel, touch, smell and taste. Keep a thesaurus handy, or use the one on your computer. Buy an exercise book to keep as a logbook. As you read books written by good authors, record the expressions they use—ones that you particularly like. Of course, you cannot use their exact expressions, but they will provide you with ideas and models to inspire you.

Unit 2: Creating settings Making use of examples

(b) Sound image (setting: a farm) Mary wasn’t sure what woke her. Was it the raucous sound of magpies fighting over food, or the rhythmic whine of the harvester chopping off the golden heads of wheat on the field close to her window? (c)

I breathed deeply, but instead of the sharp, tangy smell of salt, my nostrils were overcome with the rotting smell of decaying fish mingled with the contrasting perfume of a nearby frangipani bush.

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(d) Taste image (setting: a picnic) I fell from the tree and landed on my face. The salty, metallic taste of blood gushed into my mouth, reminding me that my previously perfect teeth might not be so perfect in the future.

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(e) Touch image (setting: riding a bike) Tom felt it was well worth the strenuous climb to the top of the steep hill as he free-wheeled down the slope with his T-shirt, freed from his sweaty body, flapping and drying rapidly in the cool exhilarating breeze. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 2: Creating settings Gathering images Indicator  Collects images in a logbook for future use

Optional activity

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This activity could be set as homework or used in class.

1. Explain to students that drawing a sketch of an environment can help them to recall a setting at a later date, so that they can use it as the setting for a future story.

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2. Some authors like to write descriptive phrases and clauses around their sketches.

3. Alternatively, provide a landscape painting. Direct students to imagine they have been transported to this place. Ask: (a) What is it like there? How does this landscape make you feel? (b) What can you see? (c) Is there any particular perfume/smell that you notice? (d) If you can reach out and touch something there, what does it feel like? (e) Can you think of anything to report about taste? (f) What sounds can you hear?

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 2: Creating settings Gathering images This non-school activity will allow you to collect some images for future use. Good writers make use of real experiences to make their writing sparkle. 1. Ask your parents to take you to an interesting area; perhaps a natural environment such as the ocean, or a national park. Or you could go to a local market or busy shopping centre. Be sure to take along your logbook.

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2. Sketch your surroundings.

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3. Sit or stand quietly with your eyes closed and listen to the sounds around you. Then, in your logbook, write down what you hear. 4. Sniff the smells around you and record anything you find interesting in your logbook.

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5. What can you feel? Is it a sunny day or a cold day? Can you feel the atmosphere around you? If so, record what you feel. If you are in a garden or natural environment, touch some of the plants. If you are at the markets, touch some of the fruit or vegetables. What do they feel like? 6. Open your eyes. What can you see? You could make a note of the colours you can see, or the plants. Is there an interesting person nearby? If so, write a brief description of that person. You could use this later for one of the characters in a story you write. 7. If you are at the markets, ask your mother if you can taste a fruit that you have never tasted before. What does it taste like? Does it remind you of anything else you have tasted? 8. You could write some of these sense impressions around your sketch, while the images are fresh in your mind. 9. Keep a record of your visit and use it for the setting of a story. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 2: Creating settings Using adjectives and nouns Indicators  Recognises how adjectives have been used in poetry to describe a scene  Discusses the images evoked by a descriptive poem

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Background information

Dorothea Mackellar was a poet, and third generation Australian who loved Australia and the Australian countryside. She is best remembered for her patriotic poem ‘My country’.

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Provide an OHP slide or copy for students to read.

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Using the activity page

1. Have students complete the activity and discuss the images that the poem evokes.

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2. This could be treated as a group or individual activity.

The love of field and coppice, Of green and shaded lanes, Of ordered woods and gardens Is running in your veins; Strong love of grey-blue distance, Brown streams and soft, dim skies– I know but cannot share it, My love is otherwise.

Core of my heart, my country! Her pitiless blue sky, When, sick at heart, around us, We see the cattle die – But when the grey clouds gather, And we can bless again The drumming of an army, The stealthy soaking rain.

I love a sunburnt country, A land of sweeping plains, Of ragged mountain ranges, Of droughts and flooding rains, I love her far horizons, I love her jewel sea, Her beauty and her terror – The wide brown land for me.

Core of my heart, my country! Land of the rainbow gold, For flood and fire and famine, She pays us back threefold; Over the thirsty paddocks, Watch, after many days, The filmy veil of greenness That thickens as we gaze.

The stark white ring-barked forests, All tragic to the moon, The sapphire-misted mountains, The hot gold hush of noon. Green tangle of the brushes, Where lithe lianas coil, And orchids deck the tree-tops And ferns the warm dark soil.

An opal-hearted country, A wilful, lavish land – All you who have not loved her, You will not understand – Though earth holds many splendours, Wherever I may die, I know to what brown country My homing thoughts will fly.

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Preparation

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Dorothea was born on 1 July 1885, at her parents’ home in Sydney, but during her childhood she travelled extensively overseas to places such as England, Europe, America and Asia because her parents considered travel important for education. Due to her exposure to different cultures, Dorothea became fluent in many languages, but she was always happy when the family returned to their country properties in the Hunter Valley. She loved rural life and was a proficient horserider who particularly enjoyed riding over the rough country terrain. In her biographical information, a story is told of how, after a drought was broken, Dorothea danced barefoot in the rain, and how she was impressed at the sight of a mist of green grass that began to appear across the paddocks. The first verse of ‘My country’ doesn’t refer to Australia, it refers to England or Scotland from where Dorothea’s grandparents came. The rest of the poem is, of course, about Australia.

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Used with kind permission from the copyright owners c/- Pippa Masson at Curtis Brown (Aust) Pty Ltd.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 2: Creating settings Using adjectives and nouns 1. Read the poem ‘My country’ by Dorothea Mackellar and note the adjectives she has used to describe Australia. In the table below, write down the features that the poet is describing when she uses the adjectives listed. Adjective green shaded ordered

Noun

Adjective

Noun

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soft, dim

lithe

sunburnt

warm, dark

sweeping

pitiless, blue

ragged

grey

flooding

stealthy, soaking

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grey-brown

wilful, lavish

tragic

homing

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ring-barked

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2. In the space provided, write adjectives you could use to describe the given geographical features. (a) a volcano (b) a glacier (c)

a jungle

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(d) a lake (e) a crater (f)

the sun

(g) a waterfall (h) a stream

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 2: Creating settings Using adverbs and verbs Indicator  Selects suitable adverbs to make given verbs more interesting

Introduction

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Explain that adverbs help to add sparkle to verbs by showing vividly the manner in which actions are carried out. Provide examples from literature to illustrate this.

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Using the activity page

Explain the directions. Work the first example with the class, then have them complete the activity independently.

Answers

(a) The old hut teetered precariously on the edge of the steep cliff. (b) The sprinters burst explosively out of the starting blocks. (c) With a sigh, the actress collapsed dramatically to the ground. (d) The large, old gum tree stood watchfully, like a sentinel, over the house. (e) Mountains loomed dangerously close as our plane descended from the clouds. (f) Like an invisible intruder, the mist spread softly over the moors. (g) By tiptoeing quietly, the small boy managed to enter the room unnoticed. (h) Slowly but surely, the snail made its way up the leafy branch to the top. (i) The white sands of the beach seemed to stretch out endlessly to the horizon.

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2. Maria moaned exhaustedly as she cuddled her baby boy protectively to her chest. He had been up all night crying piteously and neither of them had slept a wink. With an effort, she eased herself from her chair and reluctantly rang the local doctor, even though she did not have much faith in him. He was an old man who was hopelessly out of touch with modern medicine. To be fair, she know that he was genuinely trying to provide a good service for the tiny village and she acknowledged that he was always unfazed by calls from frantic mothers in the middle of the night. However, her motherly instincts told her that it would take more than old Doctor Brown’s intervention and this baby was her precious only child.

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NB ‘Motherly’ is used as an adjective in the final sentence.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 2: Creating settings Using adverbs and verbs Adverbs are very useful when you are creating a setting, because they add more information to show how actions are done. You can add more sparkle to your writing by using interesting verbs and adverbs.

1. Write a suitable adverb from the box to complete each sentence.

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precariously

(b) The sprinters burst blocks.

With a sigh, the actress collapsed

(h) (i)

on the edge of the out of the starting

to the ground.

, like a sentinel, over the house.

close as our plane descended from the clouds.

but surely, the snail made its way up the leafy branch to the top. The white sands of the beach seemed to stretch out

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explosively

(e) Mountains loomed

(g)

dangerously

endlessly

(a) The old hut teetered steep cliff.

(d) The large, old gum tree stood

(f)

softly

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(c)

quietly

dramatically

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slowly

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2. Read the text and underline the adverbs. Notice that some adverbs come before the verb that they modify and some are after the verb. Some also modify nouns. Maria moaned exhaustedly as she cuddled her baby boy protectively to her chest. He had been up all night crying piteously and neither of them had slept a wink. With an effort, she eased herself from her chair and reluctantly rang the local doctor, even though she did not have much faith in him. He was an old man who was hopelessly out of touch with modern medicine. To be fair, she knew that he was genuinely trying to provide a good service for the tiny village and she acknowledged that he was always unfazed by calls from frantic mothers in the middle of the night. However, her motherly instincts told her that it would take more than old Doctor Brown’s intervention and this baby was her precious only child .

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 2: Creating settings Sub-genres have different settings Indicator  Understands that different sub-genres of narrative have different settings

Introduction

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Revise the concept of different sub-genres by referring to the titles of books known to the students. Ask: What kind of narrative is this? How do we know?

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Using the activity page

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1. Show students the blank matrix and work through the first example with them.

2. Have students complete the rest of the matrix using the information in the boxes.

Answers

Genre

Science fiction

has a traditional beginning such as ‘Long, long ago’ or ‘Once upon a time’, but no particular time is mentioned

takes place in a futuristic world of space travel and distant galaxies

takes place in the future

usually takes place in an earlier world, or another world such as ‘the underworld’ or ‘the sky’

can take place in a true historical period or the present day; it sometimes includes actual dates

where this story takes place is not important and is never mentioned

no specific time is mentioned but the story may begin: ‘One day ...’

usually takes place in an earlier world, or another world such as ‘the underworld’ or ‘the sky’

takes place in ancient times when people believed in gods

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Myths and legends

set in a nonspecific world such as ‘a land far away’ or ‘in the deep, dark woods’

Realistic fiction

Fables

Time

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Fairytale

Place

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Unit 2: Creating settings Sub-genres have different settings Complete the matrix using the information in the boxes below. Place

Fairytale

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Science fiction

Realistic fiction

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Myths and legends

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Fables

Time

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Places  usually takes place in an earlier world, or another world such as ‘the underworld’ or ‘the sky’ (x2)  takes place in a futuristic world of space travel and distant galaxies  set in a nonspecific world such as ‘a land far away’ or ‘in the deep, dark woods’  where this story takes place is not important and is never mentioned

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Time  takes place in the future  has a traditional beginning such as: ‘Long, long ago’, or ‘Once upon a time’, but no particular time is mentioned  takes place in ancient times when people believed in gods  no specific time is mentioned but the story may begin: ‘One day …’  can take place in a true historical period or the present day; it sometimes includes actual dates

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 3: Creating characters Using the first person point of view Indicator  Identifies the use of pronouns to create the first person point of view

Using the activity page

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1. Discuss the information in the box. Have students give a definition of ‘pronouns’. They will probably be more familiar with personal pronouns such as:

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 I, me, we, us (first person)  you (second person)  he, she, it, they, him, her, them (third person)

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Students could also identify different types of pronouns such as:  demonstrative pronouns (this, that, these, those)  interrogative pronouns (who, what, why, where, when, whatever)  indefinite pronouns (anything, anybody, anyone, something, somebody, someone, nothing, nobody, none, no-one)  relative pronouns (that, which, who, whose, whom, where, when)  reflexive/intensive pronouns (myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, oneself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves)  possessive pronouns (mine, yours, his, hers, ours, theirs)

2. Have students circle the adjectives they think are suitable and then compare their choices in small groups. Students must justify their choices if group members disagree with any of their inclusions. 3. Refer back to the sample text and instruct students to write a similar one using first person narration in a setting of their own.

Answers

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1. Pronouns that should be circled include: I, me, we, us, myself, mine.

Hesitantly, Jack and I stepped into the pristine depths of the cave. It was obvious that nobody had discovered this grotto before; perhaps because vines and dense vegetation had hidden its entry point—a deep fissure in the earth. Smooth white sand carpeted the floor and we could see no signs of human trespass or animal presence.

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I didn’t know how Jack was feeling, but I was awestruck. I trembled, but not from fear. It was the magical scene before me that made my heart beat faster and my legs tremble. ‘If only my dad were here to see this’, I thought to myself. But my dad had been killed two years ago, chasing his dream of being the first person to descend into the infamous Cascades Gorge. If it is possible to inherit a love of exploring, then I definitely was blessed with my father’s genes. Exploring caves is also a dream of mine. Ever since I could walk, I have managed to escape from the confines that were put in place to keep me safe. The first day I met Jack, it was obvious we were kindred spirits and although our teachers have labelled us wild and uncontrollable, I can honestly say we have both tried to cope with the rigid routines of the private boarding school where we were placed to cure our insatiable appetites for adventure. 2 Answers may vary, but students must be prepared to justify their choices. 3 Have some students read their texts aloud to the class.

Extension Have students search for first person narration titles in the school library. ‘My’, ‘our’, ‘its’ and ‘this’ (grotto) are determiners. ‘That’ and ‘where’ are relative pronouns. 30

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Unit 3: Creating characters Using the first person point of view 1. Read the following and underline all the pronouns. Circle those that are first person pronouns.

To be a good writer, you need to be an amateur psychologist so that the characters you can create are believable and your readers will understand your characters’ actions.

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Most authors write stories using the third person point of view. It is easy to identify this kind of story because it uses pronouns such as he, she, them, they, theirs. However, some authors use the first person point of view which allows them to tell their story as if the events are from personal experience. By using the first person point of view, you can tell your readers about your feelings and why you act the way you do in your story.

© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons The first day I met Jack, it was obvious we were kindred spirits and although ourp teachers have labelled us wild and uncontrollable, I can •f orr ev i e w u r p o s e s o n l y • honestly say we have both tried to cope with the rigid routines of the

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private boarding school where we were placed to cure our insatiable appetites for adventure. 2. Circle the adjectives that you feel could describe the writer and his friend Jack. Use your dictionary to check the meanings of any unfamiliar words.

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daring

courageous

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disobedient

intrepid

wayward

elusive

fearless

wise

enthusiastic

disobedient

sagacious

cautious

unmanageable

apprehensive

afraid

anxious

careful

defiant

skilled

unruly prudent

wild

3. Use the first person point of view to write about something you have done or would like to have done with your best friend. Include how you felt at the time. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 3: Creating characters Using description Indicators  Discusses favourite characters and justifies choice  Listens to a character description and suggests language features that help to make characters ‘come alive’ and evoke emotions  Examines elements of character that can be considered when writing a description

Introduction

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1. Discuss the information in the box and have students discuss their favourite character in any novel they have read. 2. Choose one of your favourite character descriptions from literature and read it out to the class. Have students suggest the language features that make it a good description.

Using the activity page 1. Refer to the picture and have students discuss who the person might be, where he is and what he might be doing there.

2. Ask how they would feel if they came across this character while they were walking in the mountains.

3. Read out the instructions and allow students to complete the matrix individually before comparing their efforts with those of a partner.

Extension

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Students could develop the ‘story starter’ and their descriptions into a narrative.

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4. Then have them share their matrixes in small groups.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 3: Creating characters Using description Good writers are like film directors and scriptwriters. They develop characters that come alive and evoke emotions. They describe what characters look like, what they say, how they say it and how they react to various situations.

Look at the picture below and fill in the matrix with suitable descriptive words, phrases and/or clauses. Jack and I had been exploring the rough mountain terrain when we came across a tumble-down cabin hidden deep in the valley. As we crept closer, a figure appeared at the door.

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You can create villains so vile that, when they are defeated, your readers will cheer.

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Think about the following:

Sound

As he gazed into the distance, a sad, lonely sigh escaped his lips.

Smell

My stomach began to heave violently as the smell of unwashed clothing, stale alcohol, gunpowder and rabbit’s blood reached my nostrils.

Taste

The bitter taste of bile reached my tongue and I had to swallow hard to prevent myself from throwing up.

Touch

It was hard to imagine how he could bear the feel of that scratchy, woollen vest contacting his skin.

Action

He stretched and yawned noisily before turning on his heel and walking back into the cabin.

Emotion

As the door closed, our relief was plain to see. The immediate danger had passed and we were grateful that our presence had not been detected.

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Sight

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Senses

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 age and health  weight and height  facial features expressions  clothing, style and finances  habits and actions  personality  smell  voice quality/sounds

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 3: Creating characters Using dialogue Indicators  Creates characters through dialogue  Selects more appropriate words to use rather than ‘said’

Introduction

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1. Discuss the information in the box.

2. Write the following sentence on the board: ‘I would like you to clean your room now’, said Mum.

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3. Have students choose one of the ‘saying’ verbs from the activity box and think of how they would say the sentence on the board if they substituted their chosen ‘saying’ verb for the word ‘said’. 4. Select individual students to read out their choices.

Using the activity page 1. Discuss the meanings of the ‘saying’ verbs and have the students suggest appropriate situations when these would be used. For example, ‘cautioned’ would be used when you are warning someone of a possible danger. ‘Don’t stray off the path’, cautioned the Park Ranger. ‘The bush is very dense and it is easy to get lost if you do!’

2. Have students complete the activity.

3. Allow students to work in small groups, or with a partner, to compare their answers. 4. Discuss whether the different answers are appropriate.

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Have students use some of the ‘saying’ verbs from the box to create a dialogue between two characters. Remind them:  You need a new line for each speaker.  You don’t always have to include a ‘saying’ verb, especially if it is obvious who is speaking.  You use ‘saying’ verbs to highlight the way your characters speak.

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Extension

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Answers Note: These are suggestions only. Accept any logical answers. 1. 34

(a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) (g) (h) (i) (j) (k) (l) (m)

cautioned/warned the ranger promised Sarah denied Jim insisted Martha informed the detective mused Robert pleased Sally urged his athletics coach laughed/giggled Kim agreed Dad sobbed Claudia denied the twins suggested/informed the teacher

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 3: Creating characters Using dialogue Good writers bring characters to life by using dialogue that sounds natural and realistic— you can do this by being a good listener who takes note of what people say and how they say it. This will help give an insight into why your characters act the way they do.

1. Complete the sentences below by using a suitable word from the box to use instead of ‘said’. stammered

snarled

informed

Keep a list of appropriate words to use instead of ‘said’. These words will tell your readers ‘how’ something was ‘said’.

whispered

sobbed

answered

enquired

suggested

insisted

One of my young friends writes down interesting phrases she overhears. Sometimes she gets ideas for a new story based on what she hears people say. Also, by listening to radio plays and books read on CD, you could be inspired to write lively dialogue.

pleaded

growled

responded

sighed

promised

murmured

shouted

explained

denied

announced

agreed

cautioned

encouraged

exploded

commanded

mumbled

warned

demanded

laughed

urged

argued

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mused

whimpered

(a) ‘Be wary of rockfalls. They are bad this time of year’,

Sarah.

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(c) ‘It couldn’t have been me because I was helping my grandpa’, (d) ‘Like I said before, I don’t have any money to lend you!’

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the ranger.

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(b) ‘I won’t ever be that careless again’,

decided

Martha.

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(e) ‘What you say can be used as evidence against you’,

Jim.

the detective.

(f) ‘I wonder what it would be like to be rich and famous’, (g) ‘Please let me go, Mum. Everyone will be there!’

Robert.

Sally.

(h) ‘Keep going. You can do it. You’re nearly there!’

his athletics coach.

(i) ‘Sorry, but you looked so funny when you fell’,

Kim.

(j) ‘All right, you can go to the party’,

Dad, ‘if it really means so much to you’.

(k) ‘If only I had listened to your advice’,

Claudia.

(l) ‘It wasn’t us who broke the vase’,

the twins.

(m) ‘It might be better if you fold the paper this way’, www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

the teacher.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 3: Creating characters Using speech marks in dialogue—1 Indicators  Discusses the benefits of adding dialogue to narratives  Uses speech marks correctly

Introduction

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1. Discuss the benefits students can gain by adding dialogue to their narratives. For example: (a) They can reveal their characters’ personalities and make them come to life by:  including the characters’ inner thoughts by using ‘sensing’ verbs such as: thought, realised, imagined, wondered, decided, mused, wished, observed.  showing not only what the characters say, but how they say it: for example, ‘But ... but ... but ... what if the rope breaks?’ said Tim, his lip quivering (shows how reluctant Tim is to climb up the rope).  using appropriate punctuation to show how the words are said: for example, ‘I prefer bein’ out ‘ere in the bush with nothin’ but the kangaroos to keep me company’, growled the old hermit. ‘You can ‘ave ya city life. It’s not for the likes o’ me!’  ensuring that dialogue sounds natural according to the age and behaviour of the speaker. (b) They can make their writing more vibrant because their stories will pick up pace. (c) They can add humour and pathos more easily by making dialogue suit the events and atmosphere created in the story.

© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y• Using the activity page 2. Read aloud, with exaggerated expression, various dialogue sequences from literature, or have students act out a dialogue sequence using a ‘Readers’ Theatre’ technique.

Refer to the information in the box then have students complete the activity.

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1. (a) ‘Why do kettles whistle?’ asked Jill. ‘Because they’ve never learned to sing’, laughed Jack. (b) ‘What is the only coat that you must put on when it’s wet?’ queried Jill. ‘Is it a raincoat?’ answered Jack. ‘No! It’s a coat of paint’, joked Jill. (c) ‘I don’t know what I can count on when things go wrong’, moaned Jill. ‘You should try using your fingers’, retorted Jack. (d) ‘I wonder why those cows wear bells around their necks’, observed Jack. ‘Perhaps it’s because their horns don’t work’, giggled Jill. (e) ‘Did you hear that they are sending some scientists to the moon?’ advised Jill. ‘I wonder what they’ll eat’, Jack pondered. ‘They’ll probably eat micro-chips’, chuckled Jill. (f) ‘Captain Cook was buried in Tahiti. Can anyone tell me why?’ asked the teacher. ‘Because he was dead’, suggested Jack. (g) ‘Where did General MacArthur place his armies?’ the teacher asked the class. ‘In his sleevies’, replied Jill. (h) ‘I see that the birds have already started to fly south for the winter’, observed mother. ‘Can’t they afford to catch the train?’ asked three-year-old Jane. (i) ‘Why did Robin Hood rob the rich people?’ quizzed the teacher after reading aloud the story. ‘Well, he couldn’t rob the poor because they didn’t have any money’, was Jack’s reply.

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Answers

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 3: Creating characters Using speech marks in dialogue—1 Rule 1 Quotation marks show the words that are actually spoken. They are placed at the beginning and end of what the person said. Rule 2 Only punctuation marks that belong to the direct quote go inside the quotation marks. Rule 3 Add a speech tag to show which character is speaking—unless it is obvious who is speaking.

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Rule 4 If the speech tag comes at the end of the quote, add a full stop.

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1. Read the rules and complete the following using the first two: (a) Why do kettles whistle asked Jill.

Because they’ve never learned to sing laughed Jack.

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For example: ‘Stop!’ ordered the guard. ‘Why should I stop?’ challenged the General. ‘Because you’re about to fall into that foxhole’, answered the guard.

Is it a raincoat answered Jack.

(c)

I don’t know what I can count on when things go wrong moaned Jill.

You should try using your fingers retorted Jack.

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(b) What is the only coat that you must put on when it’s wet queried Jill.

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(d) I wonder why those cows wear bells around their necks observed Jack. Perhaps it’s because their horns don’t work giggled Jill.

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(e) Did you hear that they are sending some scientists to the moon advised Jill.

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I wonder what they’ll eat Jack pondered.

They’ll probably eat micro-chips chuckled Jill.

(f)

Captain Cook was buried in Tahiti. Can anyone tell me why asked the teacher.

Because he was dead suggested Jack.

(g) Where did General MacArthur place his armies the teacher asked the class.

In his sleevies replied Jill.

(h) I see that the birds have already started to fly south for the winter observed mother.

Can’t they afford to catch the train asked three-year-old Jane.

(i)

Why did Robin Hood rob the rich people quizzed the teacher after reading aloud the story.

Well, he couldn’t rob the poor because they didn’t have any money was Jack’s reply.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 3: Creating characters Using speech marks in dialogue—2 Indicator  Uses speech marks correctly

Introduction

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Use the examples given to explain the rules in the box.

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Using the activity page

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Have students complete the activities.

Answers

Allow students to compare their answers before demonstrating the corrections on the board. 1.

(a) YES: (b) NO: Even though I tried my best,’ sobbed Jan, ‘I still failed’. (corrected version) (c) NO: Startled by the noise, Kim called out, ‘Who’s there?’ (d) NO: ‘Do you really know what you’re doing?’ asked Mr Brown. (e) NO: ‘I love Australia’, stated Ali. ‘It’s the best country in the world.’ (f) NO: ‘Come and eat your dinner’, said Aunt Mary. ‘It’s your favourite.’ (g) YES: (h) NO: ‘Where are the aspirin?’ said Bob. ‘My mum has a headache.’

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2. Refer to (b), (c), (d), (e), (f) and (h) above.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 3: Creating characters Using speech marks in dialogue—2 Rule 5 Use a capital letter for the first word in the direct speech, unless it is a continued sentence. Rule 6 Speech tags can appear at the beginning, middle or end of the spoken words. Notice that a comma separates the speech tag from the direct speech, unless the speaker is asking a question or exclaiming. For example; With a sigh John replied, ‘Why do you always question me when you know I can be trusted?’ ‘Why do you always question me’, John replied with a sigh, ‘when you know I can be trusted?’ ‘Why do you always question me when you know I can be trusted?’ John replied with a sigh

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Rule 7 When a speech tag is included in the middle of a spoken sentence, you do not need to use a capital letter to start the last part of the direct speech. For example; ‘Why do you always question me’, John replied with a sigh, ‘when you know I can be trusted?’ But if the sentence is complete and the person continues talking, start the new spoken sentence with a capital letter. For example; ‘This is my pencil case’, claimed Jack. ‘My uncle gave it to me for my birthday.’

1. Circle YES or NO to show if the sentences below follow the rules.

(a) ‘Timothy,’ called Sam, ‘you’d better hurry or we’ll miss the bus’. ........................................................... (b) ‘Even though I tried my best’ sobbed Jan. ‘I still failed’. ................................................................................ (c)

(d) ‘Do you really know what you are doing’, asked Mr Brown. ..................................................................

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(e) ‘I love Australia’. Stated Ali, ‘it’s the best country in the world’. ............................................................. ‘Come and eat your dinner’, said Aunt Mary, ‘It’s your favourite’. .........................................................

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(g) ‘I tried to call you,’ said the mechanic, ‘but your phone was engaged’. ..............................................

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(h) ‘Where are the aspirin’, said Bob, ‘my mum has a headache’. ................................................................ 2. Correct the sentences that you marked as NO. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 3: Creating characters Using speech marks in dialogue—3 Indicator  Edits a given passage for speech marks

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Using the activity page

1. Use the examples given in the box to explain the rules 8–10.

Answers

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2. Have students complete the activity.

Allow them to compare their answers with a partner before you demonstrate the corrections on the board.

‘Mum, do you think Papa will let me have a puppy now that I’m ten?’

‘Oh Penny, you know what he feels about children and pets. So many boys and girls beg for a puppy or a kitten and then it’s their parents who end up having to look after it’, explained Mrs Green.

‘But I’d look after my puppy if he let me have one’, insisted Penny.

‘Well, perhaps when you’re twelve he might ... ‘

‘Twelve! But that’s two more years away. It’s forever. Will I really have to wait that long? How do you know I won’t look after a pet unless you let me show you I can?’ pleaded Penny.

‘Darling, there are other considerations as well. You know that Papa is out of work and there’s little enough money to even feed this family, let alone a—’

Penny interrupted, ‘But it will be so small it will hardly eat a thing. I’ll share my dinner with it every night. I promise!’

‘Please be sensible Penny. Put yourself in Papa’s shoes. Do you really think he wants to make you unhappy? How do you think he feels not being able to support his family?’

Poor Papa. I guess I am being very selfish, Penny thought to herself.

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Unit 3: Creating characters Using speech marks in dialogue—3 Rule 8 Use a new line for each new speaker. This helps your readers to know exactly who is speaking. Rule 9 You do not need to use speech marks if your character is thinking about something without saying it aloud. Rule 10 Sometimes a character is interrupted while he or she is speaking. You can use a dash to show this. When your character is uncertain about something, you can show this by letting his/her speech fade away. This fading speech can be shown by adding three dots. For example; ‘No, John! Don’t go in there’, warned Sally. ‘Mother said it’s—’ ‘Pooh! I’m not scared. Come on. I’ll look after you’, promised John. ‘It’s very dark and smelly in here. I’m scared’, said Sally. ‘I wish we ... ‘

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Read the conversation between Penny and her mother and use the rules above to help you rewrite it correctly. Mum, do you think Papa will let me have a puppy now that I’m ten? Oh Penny, you know what he feels about children and pets. So many boys and girls beg for a puppy or a kitten and then it’s their parents who end up having to look after it, explained Mrs Green. But I’d look after my puppy if he let me have one, insisted Penny. Well, perhaps when you’re twelve he might ... Twelve! But that’s two more years away. It’s forever. Will I really have to wait that long? How do you know I won’t look after a pet unless you let me show you I can? pleaded Penny. Darling, there are other considerations as well. You know that Papa is out of work and there’s little enough money to even feed this family, let alone a. Penny interrupted, But it will be so small it will hardly eat a thing. I’ll share my dinner with it every night. I promise! Please be sensible Penny. Put yourself in Papa’s shoes. Do you really think he wants to make you unhappy? How do you think he feels not being able to support his family? Poor Papa. I guess I am being very selfish, Penny thought to herself.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 3: Creating characters Developing characters Indicator  Identifies how characters develop and change within a narrative

Introduction

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Refer to some of the stories that you have read to the class and ask students: Who is the main character in the story? Did that character change during the story? What was the character like in the end? What do you think made the character change?

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Using the activity page

1. Discuss the information in the box on the activity page. 2. In groups of four have students discuss and complete the table. 3. Allow students to report their suggestions to the whole class. 4. Have them to decide which one is their favourite suggestion. 5. Students could use this as the plot to write a narrative.

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6. Students need to proofread and edit their narrative with perhaps a reference to a guide in the last section.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 3: Creating characters Developing characters As they do at the end of a movie, characters in a story change in some way because they have confronted a problem and succeeded, or because they have acted foolishly and have learned a lesson. See how Penny changed (page 41) because her mother made her see reason.

Before

Complete the following table by deciding what made each character change.

r o e t s Bo r e p ok u S What happened to make the character change?

After

Jenny suffered from a fear of heights. She couldn’t even sleep in the top bunk of the bunk-bed she shared with her sister.

Jenny squealed with delight, enjoying the swaying motion as she clung to the topmost branches of the old pine tree.

Ben was such a destructive boy who had no respect for other people’s property. Everyone suspected it was Ben who had vandalised the school.

I guess the best thing I can do now is to try to mend my reputation, thought Ben. I don’t ever want anything like that to happen to me again.

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Tom thanked Tim and decided you should never ‘judge a book by its cover’.

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Tom was handsome and vain. He taunted Tim because he had a nasty scar on his cheek.

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Miranda found a wallet on the way to school. Being poor and desperately wanting to impress the wealthier girls at school, she decided to keep the money and throw the wallet away. If only I could make the team, thought Cindy. It would certainly cheer Mum up. She’s been so ill and she loves the gymnastics as much as I do.

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‘Honesty certainly is the best policy’, laughed Miranda. ‘I’m so glad I decided to do the right thing.’

Cindy blushed with pleasure at the announcer’s praise. She held the trophy high above her head and smiled at her mother who sat beaming in the stand. Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 4: Developing action Interest, tension and excitement using verbs Indicator  Understands that vibrant verbs can add interest, tension and excitement to a narrative

Introductory notes

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The activities in this unit highlight how students’ use of grammar can create interest, tension and excitement in their narratives. The unit highlights the use of:  vibrant verbs  sentence structure  adverbs.

Note: Unit 1 shows how interest can be created when students change narrative structure by using a flashback technique which begins with the hint of a problem. Teaching points  The right verb can indicate how actions are carried out.  Some verbs are boring because they are not explicit.

Introduction

1. Discuss with students the idea that writers are grammarians.

2. Discuss how some verbs, such as went, said, got and took, are overused. Suggest that students can improve their writing by identifying vibrant verbs in books they read and record these verbs so that they can use them in their own writing.

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1. Students discuss the verbs in the box and substitute verbs more appropriate than those underlined. 2. Have students complete the second activity.

Answers 1.

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Using the activity page

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(a) The old lady (recoiled) in horror when she saw the spider. (b) The space ship (hovered) for a while and then (rocketed) away. (c) The sluggish river (meandered) slowly across the countryside. (d) He (dithered) about for so long that we all grew impatient and left. (e) The lights (flickered) as the storm raged outside. (f) The suspect (sauntered) brazenly out of the police station. (g) Lambs (frolicked) (capered) in the meadows, heralding springtime. (h) Fish (darted) quickly back and forth in the clear stream. (i) Tiny mice (scuttled) across the dusty floor of the old mansion. (j) He (crouched) huddled in the corner afraid that he would be seen. (k) As we (ambled) over the fields we had time to admire the view. (l) The ballerina (twirled) (glided) gracefully across the floor. (m) Leaves (drifted) slowly across the empty playground. (n) Water (tumbled) over the rocks, tinkling delightfully on its way. (o) The exhausted man (collapsed) at my feet.

2. Teacher check 44

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Unit 4: Developing action Interest, tension and excitement using verbs Good writers are grammarians.

Do you know the meaning of each vibrant verb below?

They make use of vibrant verbs to help describe exactly how their characters move. Movement can convey feelings and emotions.

hovered

darted

dithered

flickered

capered

crouched

recoiled

frolicked

drifted

meandered

scuttled

ambled

tumbled

sauntered

collapsed

glided

twirled

rocketed

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(a) The old lady jumped

in horror when she saw the spider.

(b) The space ship stayed

(c)

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1. Cross out the underlined verb and select a more vibrant one from the box. Write it on the line provided.

for a while and then sped away.

The sluggish river flowed

(d) He messed

slowly across the countryside.

about for so long that we all grew impatient and left.

(e) The lights went on and off

(g) Lambs played

in the meadows, heralding springtime.

(h) Fish swam Tiny mice ran

(j)

He sat

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(k) As we walked (l)

quickly back and forth in the clear stream. across the dusty floor of the old mansion.

huddled in the corner afraid that he would be seen.

(n) Water fell

over the fields we had time to admire the view.

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The ballerina danced

(m) Leaves blew

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(f)

(o) The exhausted man fell

gracefully across the floor.

slowly across the empty playground.

over the rocks, tinkling delightfully on its way. at my feet.

2. Write a short paragraph using the following verbs: ambled, frolicked, drifted, meandered. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 4: Developing action Interest, tension and excitement using adverbs Indicators  Considers the impact of adding adverbs to enhance verbs  Suggests suitable adverbs and adverbial phrases to make verbs more explicit

Teaching points

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Adverbs add more information to verbs by showing how, when and where actions are carried out.

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Bethany uses adverbs and adverbial phrases to make her narrative more exciting.

Using the activity page 1. Discuss with students the idea that writers are grammarians. We can also think of them as anglers or big game hunters because they use action and tension to bait their readers and get them hooked. They capture their readers’ attention. 2. Teacher check

3. For Activity 1, students read the excerpt and then complete the table.

glanced

Adverb or adverbial phrase/clause

furtively (tells how) rapidly (tells how)

thumped

painfully (tells how)

collapsed

to his knees (tells where)

curled

into a small ball (tells how)

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was darkening

straightened

cautiously (tells how)

peered

nervously (tells how)

attacking

materialised

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Answers

with strong even blows (tells how)

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2. Have students work in pairs or groups of four to provide the required three adverbs/ adverbial phrases/clauses. Draw up a master list on the board as students report back their suggestions.

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Unit 4: Developing action Interest, tension and excitement using adverbs Good writers are grammarians. They make use of vibrant verbs and adverbs to help transport their readers into the action. Short sentences create tension, while complex sentences create relief from the tension.

Max glanced furtively around. The sky was darkening rapidly. Had he been seen? His heart thumped painfully, ‘lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub!’ as he collapsed to his knees and curled into a small ball behind an overturned dinghy, praying that his accidental arrival at the island had not been observed by the smugglers. Hiding would not solve his predicament. What could he do? With laboured breath he straightened cautiously and peered nervously over the wooden bow. The smugglers were still digging; attacking the earth with strong even strokes, until a gaping hole materialised. So, they hadn’t seen him. At least he had the element of surprise in his favour.

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Bethany

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1. Complete the following table to show how Bethany uses adverbs and adverbial phrases so that her readers can picture Max’s actions and imagine how Max feels. Verb

Adverb or adverbial phrase/clause

glanced

was darkening thumped

peered

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attacking

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materialised

2. Suggest suitable adverbs or adverbial phrases to show when or where the following actions could be carried out. (a) swam

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(b) sighed (c)

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balanced

(d) clung (e) agreed www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 4: Developing action Interest and excitement using sentence structure Indicator  Identifies how authors create interest and excitement through sentence structure Note: For this activity, students will need to refer to Bethany’s excerpt on the previous page, as well as Sophie’s excerpt on page 49.

Teaching points

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1. Short sentences create tension. 2. Sentences which have embedded clauses and phrases do the opposite—they help to alleviate tension and create feelings of relief, peace, lethargy etc. 3. Authors use rhetorical questions in their stories for effect. These questions act as statements rather than questions—they do not require an answer because none is needed. Readers are drawn into the story by rhetorical questions because they reveal the uncertainty that is felt by the character. They also seem to be personally directed at the reader, encouraging readers to guess an answer, so that they want to read on to see if they are correct.

Using the activity page

Refer students to Bethany’s excerpt on page 47 and lead students to identify that:  Bethany begins with two short sentences to create tension. She then adds a rhetorical question to show what Max is thinking and to emphasise how stressed he is.  The long sentence that follows helps to create the feeling that Max is safe for the time being because he hasn’t been seen.  Bethany creates more tension by using another short sentence and rhetorical question to show that Max isn’t safe yet.  She repeats this pattern of tension and relief throughout the excerpt. 1. Students read the excerpt and then complete the activities. 2. Have students identify the rhetorical questions:  Had he been seen?  What could he do? Ask: Do you think the author wanted you to answer the questions? Why did she include them? Direct students to write down their answers. 3. Discuss why authors write complex and compound sentences. Have students write down Sophie’s most complicated sentence and analyse the parts of the sentence. 4. Explain the requirements of the activity and that students can create special effects by varying the length of their sentences before they complete it.

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Answers

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1. (a) Max glanced furtively around. (c) Hiding would not solve his predicament. 2. Possible answers could be:

(b) The sky was darkening rapidly. (d) So, they hadn’t seen him.

Bethany wants you to know that Max had doubts and this emphasises how he is feeling. Max is questioning himself because he’s doubtful and doesn’t know what to do. Bethany wants you to ask yourself the question so that you will realise how dangerous the situation is for Max. It seems that in the second question Bethany wants you to guess a possible answer. This will encourage you to read on to see if you were right. 3.

One day (adverb phrase of time) during a practice session (adverb phrase of time), with an exaggerated wiggle of her hips and a swirl of her mother’s best taffeta skirt (adverb clause of manner), Alison (subject) teetered (verb) dangerously on high heels (adverb phrase of manner) before over-balancing (adverb clause of time) and (conjunction) falling (verb) backwards (adverb of place), legs splayed and wig askew (adverb clause of manner.)

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Unit 4: Developing action Interest and excitement using sentence structure Alison dreamed constantly of the day she would be discovered. ‘Today, I’m an ordinary schoolgirl; tomorrow I’ll be the world’s newest singing sensation’, she fantasised. Her greatest pleasure was to dress up and mime the antics of the latest star. She didn’t need friends—her best friend was her bedroom mirror. One day, during a practice session, with an exaggerated wiggle of her hips and a swirl of her mother’s best taffeta skirt, Alison teetered dangerously on high heels before over-balancing and falling backwards, legs splayed and wig askew.

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Crash! The splendid, full-length, antique mirror lay shattered on the floor. Alison gasped in horror! She had killed her best friend! Sophie

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Good writers are anglers who know how to get their readers hooked and curious. By adding phrases and clauses to simple sentences, writers can create special effects such as fear, humour and surprise. In this excerpt, Sophie has written a very complex sentence when describing Alison’s practice session. Within this sentence, the reader is treated to a little humour that finishes with unfortunate consequences. The second paragraph has three very short sentences that express the surprise and shock of what Alison has done.

1. Find examples of short sentences in Bethany’s excerpt on page 47 and write them below. (a)

(b) (c)

(d)

2. Bethany has also included questions in her excerpt. Why do you think she has done this?

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3. In the space below, write the most complicated sentence in Sophie’s excerpt.

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4. Write a paragraph based on the following: John was walking home from basketball training. He heard footsteps behind him. He walked faster. The footsteps behind him also became faster. Be sure to vary your sentence length. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 5: Using imagination Thinking ‘outside the box’ and writing a fractured fairytale Indicators  Completes a planning guide  Writes a fractured fairytale

Introduction

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2. Discuss other ways that a fairytale can be changed. For example:  change the literary technique from prose to poetry (as Roald Dahl does in Revolting rhymes)  change the point of view from third person to first person (tell it from the villain’s point of view or from a spectator’s point of view)  change the plot by adding, changing or subtracting events  change the setting from traditional to modern, or base the story in another country, or change a rural setting to a city one and vice versa  change the characters by adding another character, or by changing the occupations, gender and appearance of the usual characters  change the time of the event by adding things that happened before or after the original story plot.

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1. Read one or two of the following stories to the students, or any other fractured fairytale that you prefer, and discuss how each varies from the traditional fairytale.  The true story of the 3 little pigs by Jon Scieszka (told from the wolf ’s point of view)  The three little pigs and the big bad wolf by Eugene Trivizas and Helen Oxenbury (reverses the roles)  The frog Prince by Nigel Gray (reverses the roles and modernises the plot)  Prince Cinders by Barbara Cole (changes the gender)  The frog Prince continued by Jon Scieszka (writes a sequel to the original story)

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Using the activity page

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Discuss the information in the box, highlighting the meanings of entrepreneur, crusader, anthropologist and sleuth.

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1. Have students recall and record the changes you discussed earlier about ways a fairytale can be changed. 2. Explain to students that this activity is to help them plan an entrepreneurial story based on a fairytale.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 5: Using imagination Thinking ‘outside the box’ and writing a fractured fairytale No matter how good you are at expressing yourself, nobody will want to read your writing if your plot is uninteresting. Imagination plays an important role in deciding what kind of narrative to write. To plan your story you could be an entrepreneur and design an unusual problem and/or solution, or you could rewrite a fairytale by giving it a twist of some kind. You could be a crusader and highlight a cause. You could be an anthropologist and tell how ancient cultures explained how things come to be the way they are. You could be a sleuth and set a mystery to be solved.

1. Write down ways that you can change a fairytale into a fractured fairytale. (a) (b)

(d)

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(c)

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(e) (f)

2. Plan your fractured fairytale by providing the following information. Planning Guide

Your Response

The story I have chosen for my fractured fairytale is:

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who: when: My setting will include where: the following:

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The initiating event that causes the problem will be: The problem my character(s) will face is:

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This is the ending I’m planning for my story: 3. Write your fractured fairytale on a separate sheet. 4. Edit and proofread it. See page 85 for outline. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 5: Using imagination Thinking ‘outside the box’ and writing a myth Indicators  Follows guidelines to plan a myth  Writes a myth about a natural phenomenon

Introduction

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1. Read some ancient myths to students. For example:  Persephone – a Greek myth that tells why we have the season of spring.  Tiddalik – an Australian Aboriginal myth that tells about droughts/water replenishment.  Izanagi and Izanami – a Japanese myth that tells how the islands of Japan and the plants, waterways, people, animals and snow were created.  Wulbari – a West African myth that tells why the sky is so high.

2. Elicit from students the following concepts:  myths are creation stories that usually involve gods and goddesses  myths tell how/why things come to be the way they are—especially natural phenomena  myths grew out of the need for early civilisations to understand and explain their own existence, as well as the creation of the world around them  early civilisations believed that gods and goddesses were responsible for their fate  myths were handed down from generation to generation either by oral means or, in the case of some civilisations, by writing them down; for example, archaeologists in ancient Egypt were able to decipher hieroglyphics found in temples and tombs and these written records revealed ancient myths about creation.

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NB: Myths are similar to pourquoi tales because both attempt to explain nature. However, pourquoi tales do not involve gods or goddesses. An example is Rudyard Kipling’s Just so stories in which he tells how the elephant got his long trunk (The elephant’s child), how the camel got its hump, how the rhinoceros got his skin etc.

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Using the activity page

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1. Have students read the myth and discuss any other myths they know about Egypt, or myths from any other civilisations.

2. Discuss the steps outlined, or model the process on the board and create the plot for a class myth. Revise how to use a thesaurus. 3. Have students use this method to independently create a myth about a natural phenomenon of their own choice. 4. Discuss the necessity of editing and proofreading.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 5: Using imagination Thinking ‘outside the box’ and writing a myth 1. Read this short version of an Egyptian myth. In ancient Egyptian times it was believed that Osiris, a great king, ruled the land with Isis his queen at his side. Osiris was a wise king who taught his people how to be civilised and build temples so that they could worship the gods properly. Isis, his astute queen, showed the people how to farm and store grain. These were peaceful times for the Egyptian people.

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However, that peace was shattered when Set, the jealous brother of Osiris, killed the king. He cut up Osiris’s body and cast it into the depths of the Nile River. Queen Isis, on hearing of the death of her beloved husband, shed so many tears that the Nile River flooded its banks. The flooding of the Nile each spring is caused by the tears of Isis as she searches for the body of Osiris. By reading hieroglyphics on the walls of Egyptian tombs, anthropologists discovered this ancient belief and many others held by the ancient Egyptians to explain their world. The Nile River continues to flood its banks every year in June until October.

© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons Think back to when you were very young and try to remember questions you may have asked •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y• adults about the world around you. What was it that puzzled you about the world?

2. Follow the steps below to plan your own myth. (a)

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Anthropologists are able to read ancient texts to find out how ancient cultures explained natural features of the Earth. These stories abounded with gods and magic and they often resulted in a hero having to accomplish a difficult task. Some modern authors have continued this tradition by writing new myths similar to the tales of old. Others write modern-day myths.

(b) Choose a natural phenomenon that interests you and is familiar to you.

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Find out as much as you can about your chosen phenomenon. Remember that people in ancient times were well acquainted with nature—they were close to the land. List some of the facts you discover.

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(c)

(d) Write down keywords you come across in your research. For example, if you research volcano you might list: rupture, crust, molten, plumes, cone, ash, solidify, vent, extinct. List general words only (rather than special scientific labels). Also search for myths about your chosen phenomenon.

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(e) Think of images that the words represent (e.g. plumes – feathers; crust – scab, molten – melted). Images will help you to build the plot for your myth. You might also find ideas by using a thesaurus. (f)

Let your imagination run wild using one of your images. Ask yourself, ‘What if ... ’ For example, when I think of ‘crust – scab’, I think of a doctor and injuries. What if there were a doctor who was kept so busy tending to the minor complaints of the gods that he neglected the needs of the land, hills, lakes, trees, rivers and oceans. The gods, feeling they were more important than nature, scoffed at his warnings until one day a small sore on a hill began to grow. It grew and grew until it became a mighty scab which ruptured with a deafening explosion, melting ice, burning vegetation and creating a cone of ash and solidified rock.

3. Write your myth on a separate page. 4. Edit and proofread. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 5: Using imagination Think ‘outside the box’ and be a crusader Indicators  Searches the Internet for information to include in a narrative based on a cause  Writes a narrative based on environmental issues

Introduction

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1. This theme is ideal to integrate with SOSE or science because there are many issues and concerns that students can explore. Begin by asking students what they think is the greatest danger facing civilisation today. Guide them to understand that it is not only environmental problems, but also relationships that are important issues. Lead a discussion on whether they believe there is a role for them to play in helping towards a solution to these problems. 2. Read aloud to the class one of the books listed in the activity page, or a book like Poll by Avril Rowlands. This book is the story of a child’s awakening realisation that she has an active role to play in saving the world from vanishing rain forests, climate change and dying rivers.

Using the activity page

1. Have students search the net or the library for books that deal with relationships or environmental concerns. Sort the titles students suggest into categories and compile a class chart for future reference. Encourage students to read the books listed on the chart as homework, or during reading sessions.

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3. Students choose a concern to write about and explain why they chose that topic. 4. Revise narrative structure and instruct students to complete a plan before commencing to write their story.

Answers

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2. Students fill in the crusader wheel with a partner, or in groups of four. As they report back their answers, compile a master list on the board. Be aware of the need to treat these issues sensitively as they can be confronting for some students.

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There are many possible answers, but some of these include:

 Plant life – endangered species (biodiversity diminishing), climate change, genetic modification, salinity and soil erosion because of large-scale agriculture, (population growth), air and water pollution and new diseases.  Animal life – many of the plant life concerns also apply to animals because plants provide herbivores with food. Other concerns could include: loss of habitat, viral pandemics (e.g. bird flu), interruption of the food chain, bushfires, poachers (animal parts used for medicines in some countries), hole in the ozone layer and introduced species (e.g. cane toads, rabbits, foxes, camels, buffalos and donkeys).  International understanding – racial prejudice, terrorism, war, weapons of mass destruction, globalisation, increasing populations, immigration.  Personal relationships – acceptance of differences, poverty, divorce, obesity, bullying, computers and technology, unemployment, accepting responsibility, good manners and peer pressure.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 5: Using imagination Think ‘outside the box’ and be a crusader

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1. Search your library or the Internet for books like these that deal with a cause. Make a class list of the thematic titles.  Stepping on the cracks by Mary Downing Hahn—deals with bullying  The musclemen by David Lambourne—explores the danger of allowing robots to take over our lives  Eva by Peter Dickenson is a sci-fi story about a young girl whose brain is swapped for that of a chimpanzee in order to save her life—explores medical advancement  Willis by James Marshall—highlights the importance of teamwork  Lester and Clyde by James Reece; a story told in rhyme—deals with conservation  Lester and Clyde running scared by James Reece is a sequel to Reece’s first book—also deals with conservation  The girl with the green ear by Margaret Mahy—a collection of short stories that express concern for the fate of nature

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Many riveting narratives contain important messages to humanity about relationships among people, as well as relationships between people and the environment. Through the eyes of characters in literature, we can experience the damage that is done by unthinking actions of humans. Some writers give human qualities to animals, plants and inanimate objects to achieve this aim.

2. Fill in the crusader wheel to show concerns that you could write about.

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3. Which concern have you chosen to write about and why? 4. Plan, then write your narrative dealing with your chosen concern. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 5: Using imagination Think ‘outside the box’ and be a sleuth Indicators  Identifies and discusses the features of a mystery story  Cooperates in a group to create a ‘mystery’ story

Introduction and background information

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1. Brainstorm: What is a mystery? How does a mystery story differ from other narratives? Possible answers could include:

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 A mystery is something that is difficult to explain or understand. In mystery stories a problem, crime, secret or puzzle must be solved. Usually there is information that is unknown and must be explained. Mystery stories require the main character to use his or her skills of deductive reasoning in order to solve the mystery. The reader’s interest must be aroused early in the story.  The criminal must appear early in the story and the villain must be evident throughout the plot.  The author must make all clues available to readers, so that they can make deductions.  The hero must exert an effort to catch the criminal, who works hard to fool the sleuth. Although the clues are there, the ending is usually a surprise.  The detective must experience problems catching the criminal, and the criminal must exert an effort to fool the detective and escape from him or her. 2. Have students talk about some titles, or series, of mystery stories they have read; for example Sherlock Holmes, books by Nancy Drew or Unreal stories by Paul Jennings. 3. Remind students that the more they read, the better writers they will become. Provide the following list of recommended mystery stories for them to read:

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 The dollhouse murders by Betty Wright – what is the ghostly light in Amy’s dollhouse and why do her dolls move every night? What took place here years ago?  The nature of the beast by Janni Howker – what strange beast is attacking livestock in Haverson?  Down a dark hall by Lois Duncan – why were Kit and three others at her new boarding school selected?  I am David by Anne Holm – but who is David and why does the man help him to escape from the prison camp where he has lived all his life?  The Egypt game by Zilpha Snyder – what is it about ancient Egypt that is so compelling?  Encyclopaedia Brown by Donald Sobol – match wits with a 10-year-old detective.  The secret by Ruth Thomas – where is Mum and why hasn’t she sent the children a message?  From the mixed-up files of Mrs Basil E Frankweiler by Elaine Kongsburg – what mystery occurs at the Metropolitan Museum of Art? Can a 12-year-old and her brother solve it?  The house of Dies Drear by V Hamilton – a mystery occurs in an old mansion in Ohio.  The ruby in the smoke by Phillip Pullman – set in nineteenth-century London, Sally, an orphan, becomes involved in the search for a mysterious ruby.  The view from the cherry tree by Willo Roberts – nobody believes that Rob has seen a murder, except for the murderer.  The westing game by Ellen Raskin – when an eccentric millionaire dies mysteriously, his heirs, before they can claim their inheritance, must uncover how he died.

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4. Discuss the elements on the right-hand side of the table and demonstrate how the given prompts are examples of how to plan a mystery story.

Using the activity page Divide the class into groups of four and have each group plan its mystery story using the template. Groups report back to the whole class before they begin to write. Compile all the stories to make a class anthology.

Extension Write a list of suspense writing prompts. Give each student a different one and then let them all start their own stories. Have each student write a sentence, and then switch papers. The next student starts where the other left off. Keep switching papers until the story is complete. The results will surprise you! 56

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Unit 5: Using imagination Think ‘outside the box’ and be a sleuth Use the following information and prompts to plan a group mystery story. Prompt example Like many of the townsfolk, my old friend Jackson was a struggling farmer. He was a striking figure with his impressive height and brawny arms and although his face was marked with sadness, clear blue eyes indicated that he still believed in a promising future on the land.

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Setting If you provide a vivid description of the environment in your story, your readers will feel as if they are there. You can create interest and excitement by providing unusual settings for the events in your story. The setting should have an eerie quality, as though a suspicious character is lurking close by.

Your notes

His derelict farmhouse rested on the edge of town; much older than its owner and much less hopeful of a brighter future. Your notes

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Things to remember about the structure of a mystery story Characters Create believable characters by using clear physical descriptions so that readers can form a mental picture. Your main character determines which way the plot will turn. The main character(s) always solve(s) the mystery, but may make mistakes in doing so. Other characters such as the villain and the victim are also important to the success of your story. You must carefully plan their roles.

As soon asa I arrived, I could sense that something had © R. I . C.Pub l i c t i o ns upset Jackson. Initiating event •f orr evi ew pu r p osesonl y• Your notes Begin your mystery with action and suspense.

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Problem Every mystery has a problem that the main character(s) has/have to solve. They have to find out, who committed a crime, or where something is hidden. You need to leave clues so readers can put the pieces of the story together like a puzzle. But don’t make it too easy—add false clues to trick your readers and force them to think. It is more interesting if more than one person is the suspect.

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Some exciting event should occur very early in your story.  many strange, unexplained evens happen on the farm  a large company offers to buy Jackson’s property  the two investigate but encounter several false trails

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Solution The solution to your mystery must be believable. In order for your story to work, all of the necessary clues have to be present. Don’t spring an unknown surprise because readers will feel cheated. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Your notes

After several false leads they discover an old gold shaft built into the hill. Recent activity has exposed a large seam of gold. Your notes

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as simile Indicators  Identifies how expressive power can increase through the use of simile  Writes similes to link two given ideas together

Introduction

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Explain that good writers read extensively—fiction, nonfiction, poetry, prose and plays—in order to increase their word power and find ways to better express their thoughts. Poetry uses special techniques to describe all the senses. These techniques can help us write more expressive narratives. An easy way to introduce poetic effects is to read students the narrative poem, The highwayman by Alfred Noyes. This poem is brimming with examples of each of the poetic effects. You can introduce each of the poetic effects in turn. Similes 1. Here are some examples of simile from the poem.

(a) his hair like mouldy hay (b) dumb as a dog (c) his face burned like a brand (d) the hours crawled by like years (e) he spurred like a madman (f) down like a dog

3. Identify the similes in the poem and discuss how they add to the setting and our understanding of characters and their actions.

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Using the activity page

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Read the examples given and the explanation of why Maddison’s simile is effective.

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2. Discuss the definition of a simile.

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1. Have students complete the activity independently, then compare what they have written with that of a partner.

2. Have student select his or her partner’s best effort and allow some students to read their best effort aloud to the whole class.

Optional activity

Constructing a class chart of poetic effects 1. After the seven poetic effects have been treated, allow students to select what they believe is the best example of a poetic effect that they have written. 2. Divide chart paper into sections reflecting the type of choices that the students have made. 3. Write a heading for each section and record the student’s selections.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as simile Simile A simile is a poetic effect that requires us to picture something as being similar to something else. It often uses the words like and as to link the two pictures together.

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Frozen with fear, Ben melted silently into the cold stone of the wall like one of the ancient statues that lined the temple.

By likening him to a statue, Maddison emphasises Ben’s fear. She has used the verb ‘frozen’ to indicate that Ben doesn’t even dare to breathe.

1. Write a simile to link the two given items. (a) river – snake

by Maddison

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Most people associate poetry with rhyme and rhythm, but poetry is a lot more than just that. It is a special way of using words and poetic tools to create ‘word pictures’. These poetic tools can help us see things differently. They can be used in narrative writing to help make settings more vivid and lively. So, what are these special tools and how can we use them? There are seven special tools that you can use. They are: simile, metaphor, personification, onomatopoeia, repetition, assonance and alliteration. The first one of these we will explore is simile.

(b) trees – guards (c)

snow – ice-cream

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(d) summer wind – fan-forced oven

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(e) icicles – diamonds (f)

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forest canopy – blanket

(g) coal mine – scar www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as metaphor Indicators  Identifies how expressive power can increase through the use of metaphor  Matches suitable metaphors to a given image

Introduction

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An easy way to introduce poetic effects is to read students the narrative poem, The highwayman by Alfred Noyes. This poem is brimming with examples of each of the poetic effects. You can introduce each of the poetic effects in turn.

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Metaphor 1. Here are some examples of metaphor from the poem. (a) the wind was a torrent of darkness (b) the moon was a ghostly galleon (c) cloudy seas (referring to the sky) (d) the road was a ribbon of moonlight (e) his eyes were hollows of madness (f) black cascade of perfume (referring to Bess’s hair) (g) the road was a gypsy’s ribbon (h) white road smoking behind him;

2. Discuss the definition of a metaphor

Using the activity page

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Read the examples given and the explanation of why Georgia’s metaphor is effective. 1.–2. Have students complete the activities.

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Answers 1. 2.

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3. Identify the metaphors in the poem and discuss how they add to the setting and our understanding of characters and their actions.

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(a) brilliantly-coloured staircase (b) glowing orb (c) confusing maze (d) graceful gull (e) pebbles of ice (f) silver ribbon of moonlight (g) misty veil (h) red river of blood Teacher check. Accept any suitable metaphors given. Share some of the best examples with the whole class or make a display poster.

Optional activity Construct a class chart of poetic effects. 60

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as metaphor Metaphor A metaphor is a poetic image related to a simile, but which doesn’t use the words ‘like’ and ‘as’ to link the two pictures together. A metaphor tells us that an image is something else. For example: The exhausted girl slumped down onto the soft, green carpet of grass. In this example, you are told that the grass is a carpet.

written by Georgia

1. Complete the sentences by matching a metaphor from the box.

pebbles of ice

misty veil

brilliantly-coloured staircase glowing orb

red river of blood

silver ribbon of moonlight

(a) After the rain, a rainbow appeared; a heavens. (b) (c)

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Georgia links the sounds of winter to the percussion section of an orchestra; the rain being the drums and the lightning being the cymbals. She has purposely used the verb ‘played’ to make her metaphor relate even more to drums.

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A winter percussion orchestra played across the hills; drumming rain and cymbals of lightning assailing our ears.

graceful gull

confusing maze

leading upwards into the

© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons The moon was a and twinkling stars added to the brilliance. •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y• The explorers forged their way through the of valleys carved deep into the mountains by the ancient river. flying across the azure-blue sea.

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(e) Hail pelted the tent as the temperature dropped and against the canvas walls. (f)

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(d) The yacht was a

crashed

contrasted by dark reeds lining its banks.

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(g) A from their pursuers.

concealed the face of the cave allowing the boys to hide

(h) He gazed at the bleeding gash in his leg as brown clay.

flowed across the

2. With what could you compare the following? clouds

sunset

waves

traffic

bees

orchid

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as personification Indicators  Identifies how expressive power can increase through the use of personification  Recognises words that give human qualities to given object

Introduction Personification

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1. Because The highwayman includes only one example of personification (there was death at every window) and even this example is debatable, it would be preferable to introduce personification through another poem such as Silver by Walter de la Mare. In this poem, the poet gives human qualities to the moon; for example, he tells us that: (a) the moon walks the night in her silver shoon (shoes) (b) she peers, and sees silver fruit upon silver trees (c) the casements catch her beams. 2. Discuss the definition of personification 3. Identify the personification in the poem and discuss how it adds to the setting and our understanding of characters and their actions.

Using the activity

Read the examples given and the explanation of why James’s personification is effective and have students complete the activities.

(a) hungry – swallowing (b) trees – shivered (c) car – coughed, spluttered, died (d) sailboat – injured, limped (e) beaver – engineer (f) reeds – bowed, south wind – demands, aggressive (g) table – groaned in protest (h) birds – choir, tuning up.

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Answers

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2. (a) iii, (b) v, (c) vii, (d) ii, (e) viii, (f) i, (g) vi, (h) iv

Optional activity Construct a class chart of poetic effects

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as personification Personification Personification is a poetic effect that makes objects and things seem like human beings. For example: The sun, my friend, is overhead smiling from his cloudy bed. In this example, the sun is given human qualities of being a friend, being able to smile and sleep in a bed. Verbs and adjectives are often used to achieve personification.

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Jay, the only non-swimmer in the group, was scared— scared that the tiny boat would tip over and that they would be hurled into the deep embrace of the sea.

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written by James

James gives the sea the human quality of being able to embrace us. He has purposely used the adjective deep to make his personification relate even more to the sea.

1. Underline the word or words that give human qualities to each of the nouns marked in italics. (a) Hungry flames spread rapidly across the land, swallowing everything in their path. (b) The bare trees shivered in the wind as autumn mildness turned to winter snow. (c)

Our car coughed and spluttered several times before the motor died and left us stranded.

(d) The injured sailboat limped back to port for repairs. (e) (f)

The river reeds bowed to the demands of the aggressive south wind.

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(g) The table supporting the mountain of party food groaned in protest.

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(h) A choir of noisy birds started tuning up beneath my window, awakening me from a deep sleep.

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2. Join each subject on the left to an expression on the right that would personify it.

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(a) The Christmas lights

(i)

drank thirstily as the drought broke and rain fell.

(b) The mower

(ii)

stood like a sentinel at the end of the avenue.

(c)

A soft breeze

(iii) winked and blinked.

(d) The solid old building

(iv) groaned in protest as it chugged up the steep hill.

(e) Cars and buses

(v) chewed up the grass and spat it out.

(f)

(vi) gripped his injured arm and he fell to the ground.

The wilting plants

(g) Pain

(vii) whispered through the trees.

(h) The train

(viii) raced each other across the city.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as onomatopoeia Indicators  Identifies how expressive power can increase through the use of onomatopoeia  Matches examples of onomatopoeia to given sounds  Creates own onomatopoeia for given sounds

Introduction

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Onomatopoeia 1. The highwayman has some examples of onomatopoeia, but there are several others that have better examples that you may prefer to use. Here are some examples of onomatopoeia from The highwayman: (a) clattered and clashed (b) a stable-wicket creaked (c) tlot-tlot, tlot-tlot (d) tapped with his whip 2. Discuss the definition of onomatopoeia 3. Have students work in groups of three to four. Directions: Name some noisy items and/or actions and instruct students to think of onomatopoeic words associated with these. Allow them to brainstorm for approximately five minutes to list all the onomatopoeic words they can think of, then swap their list with another group and challenge the others to name the items or actions associated with the words. See if they can do the same with the words produced by the other group. 4. Identify the examples of onomatopoeia in the poem and discuss how they conjure up sound images.

© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons Using the activity •page f orr evi ew pur posesonl y• Read the examples given and the explanation of why Anne’s onomatopoeia is effective and have students complete the activities.

(a) Someone walking on grass covered with ice – crunch (b) A champagne cork coming out of the bottle – pop (c) A cat sharpening its claws – scritch-scratch (d) Wind chimes moving gently in the wind – tinkle (e) Shaping metal with a file – grind (f) A fierce dog – snarl (g) A light being turned on – click Accept any suitable onomatopoeic words given. Share some of the best examples with the whole class or make a display poster.

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1. 2.

Optional activity

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Write a class poem Read to the class the following onomatopoeic poem that was written by Year 2 students. Emphasise the rhythm and sounds. Tell the students that you are going to write a class poem that has onomatopoeic words in it like this. Carry out a class activity. Method:  Brainstorm and choose something noisy.  Ask: Can you think of real words that suit the sound this thing makes?  Make up onomatopoeic words that would be suitable for this object.  Decide what actions this object performs.  Assist students to write a class poem about the object. 64

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Answers

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Chistle and churn, chistle and churn See the wheels turn, see the wheels turn Clickety-clack, clickety-clack Down the track, down the track Clong-clang, clong-clang Over the bridge, over the bridge Chug-a-lug-lug, chug-a-lug-lug Up over the ridge, up over the ridge When will it stop, when will it stop Shiv-er-y sh-o-p, shiv-er-y sh-o-p

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Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as onomatopoeia Onomatopoeia Onomatopoeia is a poetic effect in which the word sounds like the thing it is describing. It is a very long label for any word that ‘sounds like what it means’. For example, in the sentence: He listened to the bees buzzing around their hive—the word ‘buzzing’ is almost the same as the noise the bees are making. Similarly, in the sentence: She heard the plink of ice as it hit the bottom of the empty glass—the word ‘plink’ is almost the same as the noise the ice made when it hit the bottom of the glass. Onomatopoeia helps your readers to imagine the sounds you are writing about.

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written by Anne

Anne helps us to imagine the sounds of the storm she is writing about. She uses words like battered, lashing, clanged and cracked which mimic the sounds and the actions of the storm. She has purposely chosen these words because of their sounds.

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Strong winds battered the branches of the willow changing them into furiously lashing whips. The pale green metal shutters clanged backwards and forwards and a sudden crack of thunder added to the discord.

1. Match the following actions to the onomatopoeic word that most suits them. (a) Someone walking on grass covered with ice

(b) A champagne cork coming out of the bottle (c)

 snarl

 crunch

(e) Shaping metal with a file

 grind  tinkle

A fierce dog

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(f)

(g) A light being turned on

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(d) Wind chimes moving gently in the wind

 pop

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2. Write an onomatopoeic word about each item or action named below. (a) Writing on a blackboard (b) Breaking a glass (c)

A hungry cat

(d) A volcano (e) An old typewriter (f)

Bells in a steeple

(g) Eating an apple (h) A machine gun www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as repetition Indicators  Identifies how expressive power can increase through the use of repetition  Identifies examples of repetition in a given text and discusses why it is effective  Identifies other poetic effects in the text

Introduction

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the highway man came riding twinkled, jewelled daughter, black landlord’s daughter look moonlight, watch moonlight, come moonlight waves, moonlight did not come, marching window hands, stroke of midnight lay bare, moonlight tlot-tlot, riding shattered, moonlight landlord’s daughter down on the highway

2. Discuss the definition of repetition

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3. Identify the repetition in the poem and discuss how it adds to the atmosphere of the setting and the story line.

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Using the activity page

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             

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Repetition 1. The highwayman by Alfred Noyes has several example of repetition. Lines four and five of each stanza have examples as is shown below:

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Read the examples given and the explanation of why Claudia’s repetition is effective.

Claudia has also used similes (like a stealthy, silent predator; like a plague of insects), personification (it tiptoes) and alliteration (broad blanket; stealthy, silent; silently, steadily). 1. Have students complete the activity.

Answers did not agree, did not want, did not believe, not turning up, not the brightest, not trying, not fair, should not be forced, could not sleep, could not see a way, would not be a way, would not ostracize her, failing to go along with their plans, failure to fall in with the in-crowd, social failure, but failure to turn up.

Optional activity Construct a class chart of poetic effects

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as repetition Repetition Repetition is a poetic effect in which a word or line is repeated to add emphasis to the image you are trying to create. For example: The boy struggled on, knowing that he still had a long, long way to go before his journey was complete. Sometimes writers just repeat the pattern of a sentence, changing just a few words. For example: The wind howled. The wind moaned. The wind lashed the sea until it formed white peaks of foam.

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written by Claudia

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A broad blanket of fine sand swept across the desert floor like a stealthy, silent predator, seeping into every available nook and cranny. Over the craggy mountains it swept. Through deep caverns it crept. Like a plague of insects it swarmed forward. Silently, steadily gaining momentum, it tiptoed, continuing undetected by the nomads camped at the nearby oasis.

To emphasise that the sandstorm is moving secretly forward, Claudia chooses verbs that are similar, such as: crept, swept, seeping, swarmed, tiptoed. She repeats crept and swept to emphasise that the sandstorm continues over a period of time. She also repeats the pattern of the second sentence.

© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons Underline • the f repetitive word(s) used emphasise Miranda’s orr e vi e wtop ur po sessituation. onl y• Discuss: Can you identify any other poetic effects in Claudia’s paragraph?

Miranda did not agree with her friends’ plans to skip school and spend the day at the beach. She did not

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want to fall behind in her lessons and she did not believe that it was an exciting thing to do. To her, not turning up for English meant certain failure at the end of the semester. She knew that she was not the

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brightest of students, but she worked hard and could never be accused of not trying her best. ‘It’s not fair,’

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she said to herself. ‘I should not be forced to make a decision like this.’

Never before had she been so torn between doing what was right and being accepted by her peer group. For two days, ever since Samantha had announced the plan, Miranda could not sleep. She had tossed and turned, but could not see a way around her dilemma. Perhaps she could feign sickness on the day, but that would not be a way to solve future problems. No, she would just have to tell the group her true feelings and hope that they would not ostracise her for failing to go along with their plans. She knew that failure to fall in with the in-crowd almost certainly meant social failure, but failure to turn up at school on the day she was meant to give her presentation could affect her whole academic career. No, she would just have to risk the wrath of her friends. Perhaps this would sort out which of them truly were her friends. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as assonance Indicators  Identifies how expressive power can increase through the use of assonance  Combines given words to write a setting that features assonance

Introduction

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Assonance 1. The highwayman and Silver both have examples of assonance. Have students identify words with long vowel sounds in one of the poems and discuss how these add to the mysterious, quiet mood. Also identify words with short vowel sounds and discuss how these change the mood to action and harshness.  For example, from The highwayman: torrent of darkness; gusty trees; moonlight over the purple moor (long vowels). Contrast this with: over the cobbles he clattered and clashed (short vowels)  Examples from Silver moon, shoon; peers and sees; fruit, trees, paws of silver sleeps the dog (long vowel sound)

2. Discuss the definition of assonance.

3. Identify other examples of assonance in the poem and discuss how they conjure up sound images.

Read the examples given and the explanation of why William’s use of assonance is effective. Have students complete the activities and select some to read out their responses.

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Answers

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1. Accept any appropriate answers.

Optional activity

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Using the activity page

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Instruct students to develop one of the examples they have written into the story.

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as assonance Assonance Assonance is a poetic effect in which the same types of vowel sounds are followed by different consonant sounds to create a special effect. For example: The anemone lay fast asleep in the green seaweed. In this sentence, the writer has used long vowel sounds to create an image of peace and quiet. Assonance is usually very pleasant to the ear. In contrast, short vowel sounds are very abrupt, so they create the effect of hurried action. For example: ‘Quick, get it off me!’

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By using assonance, William helps us to imagine how his character is feeling. William repeats the ‘or’ sound which conjures up a feeling of sadness and helplessness.

written by William

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Jack sat forlornly by the warm seashore as the tide began to creep slowly forward. Long shadows crisscrossed over the green lawn behind him, but he remained unaware. He was torn between whether he should stay with his mother, or leave his hometown forever. Divorce was so complicated and unfair!.

1. Combine some words from each box to write a setting that includes assonance. A sample has been done for you.You do not need to use all the words given. e.g.

lagoon blue

kangaroos swooped

canoe whoop cockatoos blooming soothing hue whoosh solitude

Our canoe drifted smoothly across the still blue waters of the deep lagoon, through water lilies of every hue. On the banks, kangaroos bent low to drink the pure water and cockatoos swooped through the trees; even the whoosh of their wings could not disturb our feelings of solitude.

(a)

peacock

bees

honey

trees

breeze

donkey

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(b)

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startled arch

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o c . che e r o t r s super marvellous balmy

marble artist

safari

dark

far oasis calm

(c)

autumn small

yawn fork in the path

orchard tawny hawk

jaunt because

pause border

morning horse

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as alliteration Indicators  Identifies how expressive power can increase through the use of alliteration  Adds suitable words to make an alliterative sentence  Selects nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs that begin with a chosen letter before writing a setting that includes alliteration

Introduction

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1. Play the game called Taking a trip. (a) One person starts by saying I’m taking a trip to (he/she names a particular place). He/She then names an object that starts with the same letter as the place to take along with them. For example, he/she says I’m going to Paris and I’m taking a parasol. (b) Players then take turns to add to the list of objects to take by suggesting something else that starts with that letter. For example: I’m going to Paris and I’m taking a parasol and a poodle. (c) Continue the game until someone is unable to think of a word or makes a mistake. (d) If time allows, play a variation of this game called: Shopping at the supermarket or begin another game using a different country. Alliteration 1. The highwayman by Alfred Noyes has several examples of alliteration. For example:  ghostly galleon  breeches of brown  over the cobbles he clattered and clashed  burnt like a brand  musket, muzzle  stretched and strained  blank and bare  stood up straight and still  face grew grey  died in the darkness 2. Discuss the definition of alliteration. 3. Identify the alliteration in the poem and discuss how it adds to the atmosphere of the setting and the story line.

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Using the activity

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Read the examples given and the explanation of why Gemma’s alliteration is effective and have students complete the activities.

Answers

1. Accept any suitable alliterative word; however, here are some possible answers: (a) Sometimes snakes and lizards slithered. (b) The burly baker busily kneaded butter into the brown bread. (c) As the mist lifted, a majestic mountain emerged out of the murky gloom. (d) Hares hopped happily here, there and everywhere. (e) William waded into the water while everyone else wilted wearily on the shore. (f) Cheeky Charlie loves chomping on chocolates and cherries. (g) Fiona froze in fear as the freight train flew past a few metres from where she had fallen. 2. This could be treated as a group or individual activity. As you supervise, identify good examples and read these aloud to the class.

Optional activity Construct a class chart of poetic effects. 70

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Unit 6: Developing expressive power Using poetic images such as alliteration Alliteration is a poetic effect in which the same consonant sounds are repeated to create an effect. For example: Softly, silently the moon slipped across the southern sky casting silvery shadows. In this sentence, the writer has used the consonant ‘s’ to create an image of silence.

r o e t s Bo r e p ok u S written by Gemma

By using alliteration, Gemma helps us to imagine how her character is feeling. Gemma repeats the ‘b’ sound and ‘I’ sound to conjure up a feeling of peace, laziness and sluggishness.

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Teac he r

Bumble bees browsed through the perfumed rose bushes and settled on the bark of the ancient beech tree where Bettina lay. Reluctantly long, black lashes lowered over brilliant blue eyes. The whole day lay before her, but Bettina felt too lethargic to lift her head from the cushiony, soft lawn on which she lay.

1. Add a suitable word to the gaps to make each sentence alliterative with the word shown in italics. (a) Sometimes snakes and lizards

(b) The burly

(d)

busily kneaded butter into the brown bread.

As the mist lifted, a

(e) William (f)

into the water while everyone else wilted wearily on the shore.

Cheeky Charlie loves chomping on

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(g) Fiona froze in she had fallen.

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and

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(c)

silently past in the sunshine.

as the freight train flew past a few metres from where

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2. Choose a letter of the alphabet. List some nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs that begin with your chosen letter (you may use a dictionary to assist you). On a separate page arrange and rearrange your words until you have made six sentences that could be used in a setting. (a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 7: Planning tips Ways to get started and overcome writer’s block Indicator  Examines and discusses strategies for overcoming writer’s block

Introduction

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1. Explain to students that even the most successful of authors sometimes suffer from ‘writer’s block’. Elicit from students what this means. Have students read the information in the box and explain the analogy.

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2. Ask students if they have ever suffered from writer’s block and ask: ‘What do you do to try to overcome it?’ Write their suggestions on a board.

Using the activity page 1. (a) Read the suggestions and have students comment on each of the strategies given. For example, for strategy (b) you could ask if students have read about (or seen on TV) something remarkable that has happened to someone ordinary. Alternatively, select an article yourself and transfer it to an OHP. (b) Instruct students to place a tick next to any of the strategies they have tried and a star against any they would like to try.

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2 (a) Explain to students that the information in the second column is an example to help them complete the table. (b) Use one of these ideas for a homework writing assignment.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 7: Planning tips Ways to get started and overcome writer’s block 1. Read the following ways to gather ideas.Tick those you have used before.

Tip Good writers are like engineers; they find ways around obstacles that get in the way of starting their assignments.

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Gather photographs of people from magazines and newspapers. Choose interesting faces and try to imagine things that have happened to them or what it would be like to meet them.

r o e t s Bo r e p ok u S (b)

Keep a folder of newspaper clippings about remarkable things that have happened to ordinary people. Human interest stories open your eyes to another world. Base a story on other people’s experiences.

(c)

Save postcards sent from interesting places and imagine what it would be like to visit there.

(d)

Make a word wall of interesting words that show actions, emotions, thoughts, things, descriptions. Base a story on some of these interesting words.

(e)

Write down the titles of stories you have enjoyed. Rewrite one of these stories from a different character’s point of view.

(f)

Write to someone in another country. Pen pals who have different life experiences from your own, can inspire you to write about their world.

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Have you ever suffered from writer’s block and can’t think what to write about? Well, don’t be concerned because there are ways to overcome this.

(a)

2. Complete the table by filling in the third column with your own ideas.

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newspaper clipping

postcard

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penpal

Sample idea I read about five people who survived for 10 days on a life raft after an overcrowded ferry sank. My aunty in London sent me a postcard of an ancient castle. I’ll write about a young knight who is in training.

o c . che e r o t r s super I write to an Aboriginal girl who lives in Groote Eylandt. She’s told me interesting things about her life.

photograph

The old lady in this photo looks sad. I wonder what happened to her. I’ll write a story with a happy ending

interesting words

‘Cacophony’ is an interesting word. I’ll think of things that could cause disharmony.

point of view

Your idea

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I’ll rewrite the story of Cinderella from the prince’s point of view.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 7: Planning tips Using ‘hooks’ to capture the reader’s attention Indicators  Identifies various ‘hooks’ that can be used to capture a reader’s attention  Matches story openers to the type of ‘hook’ used by an author

Introduction

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Introduce the information in the box. If you have some favourite hooks from children’s literature, read them aloud to students.

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Using the activity page

Discuss the meaning of each of the hooks and, if you read some hooks from literature aloud, have the students classify the type of hook you read to them. Explain that only one story opener matches each hook. Students are to write the number of the matching hook next to each story beginning.

(a)–7 (Begin with a question) (b)–9 (Begin with a proverb) (c)–4 (Begin with a threat) (d)–2 (Begin with something humorous) (e)–8 (Begin with a dramatic description) (f)–3 (Begin with a mystery) (g)–5 (Begin with how the character is feeling) (h)–6 (Begin by suggesting a dramatic event) (i)–1 (Begin with a memory or flashback)

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Answers

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 7: Planning tips Using ‘hooks’ to capture the reader’s attention 1. Write next to each story opener the number of the hook that best describes it.

Tip

Hooks 1.

Begin with a memory or flashback

Begin with something humorous

Begin with a mystery

Begin with a treat

Begin with how the character is feeling

Begin by suggesting a dramatic event

Begin with a question

Begin with a dramatic description

Begin with a proverb

r o e t s Bo r e p ok u S Story openers

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Good writers are like scouts: they are always prepared with a repertoire of skills and writing ‘tricks’ to help them plan their stories. One trick is to get your reader ‘hooked’ right at the beginning of your story.

(a) Where is everyone? Why is it so dark in here? Sarah sat up slowly. Her head was aching and her body was racked with pain.

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‘You will be sorry for this! Mark my words and remember that you brought this on yourselves!’ The old man’s words bounced off the lonely hills as Sam and Nick scurried away to hide.

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(c)

(d) My friend Lily is an idiot. She’ll do anything for a laugh. When Miss Jensen, our English teacher, asked us where the Temple of Zeus is, Lily’s answer was, ‘On the side of his head, I suppose!’

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(e) The road ahead of us looked forbidding. Jagged rocks barred the mountain path and scree littered the trail, making us slip and slide close to the dangerous edge. (f)

As Brian entered the temple he could sense malevolence all around him. Although he knew he had never been there before, everything seemed mysteriously familiar.

(g) Nervously, Jane sat and waited outside the office. Her heart thumped in her chest and she was sure she could hear the blood coursing through her veins. She didn’t know what was worse—the feeling of not knowing, or the fact that she was about to receive the answer. (h) The village agricultural show is the biggest event in our quiet country lives. However the show of 1999 was quite an eye opener and our village would never be the same again. (i)

I clearly remember the first day ‘Skipjack’ entered my life.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 7: Planning tips Write about things that interest you Indicators  Discusses personal interests within a group  Writes a story based on something of personal interest

Introduction

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1. Read to students the foreword from Boy by Roald Dahl. In it, Dahl explains why he wrote this book. Then read them an excerpt from the book (I usually choose Dahl’s second memory of Llandaff Cathedral School—the part about Mrs Pratchett who owned the sweet shop). 2. Explain that this is a book Dahl wrote about things that happened to him that he could never forget.

Using the activity page 1. Instruct students to read the information box. Ask them why they think this information is important. 2. Students carry out a small-group discussion on each of the items, then complete their individual tables.

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3. Students write a story using one of the numbered items as the theme of their story.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 7: Planning tips Write about things that interest you Tip Good writers identify what they are good at, or things they know a lot about, or things that interest them. Your own experiences can often lead to the best story you have ever written. So start writing a diary. You may become a bestselling author by relating your own experiences and thoughts.

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1. Discuss in a group the things listed in the left column of the table below, then complete the table on your own.

Five things I know a lot about and/or have had experience doing.

2. 3. 4. 5. 1.

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Five experiences I’ll never forget.

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Five things I would like to know more about.

1. 2.

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Five things I hope to do when I am an adult.

2. 3. 4. 5.

2. Select one item from any of the rows and write a story using this as your main theme. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 7: Planning tips Improve your vocabulary; know more about unusual occupations Indicators  Realises the importance of developing a wide vocabulary  Identifies unusual occupations that could form the inspiration for a story

Introduction

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1. Ask students: What is the most unusual occupation you can think of? Do you know anyone who has an unusual occupation?

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2. Write the word steeplejack on the board. Ask: Who can tell me the meaning of this word? (A person who repairs tall chimneys, steeples, towers etc.) 3. Discuss things that could happen to a steeplejack.

Using the activity page Instruct students to read the information box. Ask them if they know of anything interesting that has happened to someone they know when that person was at work. They can then carry out the activities.

(b) (i) (f) (l) (c) (j) (h) (k) (m) (a) (e) (d) (g)

An astronomer studies planets, galaxies and other objects in the universe. An apiarist operates beehives to produce honey and related products. A cartographer designs, prepares and revises maps, charts, plans and models. A podiatrist looks after the health of people’s feet. A dogger attaches slings to cranes and directs the movement of loads. An ergonomist inspects work sites to ensure occupational health and safety. A gaffer positions and operates lighting equipment for sets or studios. A milliner designs and makes hats and other headgear. A jackaroo or jillaroo helps with the sheep and/or cattle on large stations. An oenologist produces wine or spirits from selected varieties of grapes. A publican plans, supervises and controls the operations of a hotel or motel. A rigger assembles and installs gear to lift, lower, move or position heavy objects. An upholsterer covers or re-covers furniture with fabric and repairs furniture.

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Answers

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 7: Planning tips Improve your vocabulary; know more about unusual occupations Tip

1. Write down the number of the occupation next to the definition that describes it.

(a)

an oenologist

(b) an astronomer

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(d) a rigger

(e) a publican

(f)

a cartographer

(g)

an upholsterer

(h) a gaffer

(i)

an apiarist

(j)

an ergonomist

(k) a milliner

(l)

a podiatrist

(m) a jackaroo or jillaroo

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Good writers are ‘wordsmiths’ and ‘bibliophiles’. They find words fascinating and keep lists of unusual words from books and other printed materials. For example, you could list some unusual occupations, because unusual problems often arise to perplex people in unusual occupations. You could make an occupation the centre of your next story plot.

studies planets, galaxies and other objects in the universe.

operates beehives to produce honey and related products.

attaches slings to cranes and directs the movement of loads.

inspects work sites to ensure occupational health and safety.

positions and operates lighting equipment for sets or studios.

designs and makes hats and other headgear.

helps with the sheep and/or cattle on large stations.

produces wine or spirits from selected varieties of grapes.

plans, supervises and controls the operations of a hotel or motel.

assembles and installs gear to lift, lower, move or position heavy objects.

covers or re-covers furniture with fabric and repairs furniture.

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©R . I . Cprepares .Pu b l i c at i on sand models. designs, and revises maps, charts, plans v looks after health ofp people’s feet.so •f orr e i e wthep ur ose nl y•

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2. Find out more about one of the occupations.Think about something that could go wrong in this occupation and plan a story around it. 3. Add to the list of occupations when you discover a new one. www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 7: Planning tips Use a proverb Indicators  Discusses the similarities between proverbs and fables  Identifies proverbs that could form the inspiration for a story  Writes a fable outline

Introduction

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1. Write on the board: Birds of a feather flock together. Ask: What is the meaning of this old saying? (People mix with others who have the same tastes and interests as themselves—so if you mix with troublemakers you will also be labelled a troublemaker.)

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2. Introduce the terminology ‘proverb’.

Elements

Fable features

Setting: time and place

Not specific and mostly not mentioned. No specific time (usually starts: One day ...).

Characters

Animals that have human traits and act like humans.

Outcome

A single significant act that teaches a moral in a very few words.

Abstract ideas such as good and bad, wise and foolish, good and evil.

Special effects

Impersonal animal characters such as Fox or Rabbit represent aspects of human nature (the fox is cunning, the mouse is timid, the lion is brave).

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Themes and motifs

Using the activity page

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Instruct students to read the information box. Explain that proverbs and fables are similar because they both try to teach humans a lesson. Students then carry out the activities.

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Plot

Answers

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3. Read a fable to the class and ask students what lesson the fable is trying to teach us. The more fables you read to students, the more familiar they will become with the structure of a fable. The following information outlines the features that students may discover.

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(a) Absence makes the heart grow fonder. (b) A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. (c) Every cloud has a silver lining. (d) Once bitten, twice shy. (e) A fool and his money are soon parted. (f) More haste, less speed. (g) Necessity is the mother of invention. (h) Time and tide wait for no man. (i) One good turn deserves another. (j) Out of the frying pan, into the fire. (k) Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.

2. Accept any logical answers. 3. Students use the planning box to write a fable outline. 80

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Unit 7: Planning tips Use a proverb 1. Use the endings in the box to complete the following proverbs.  has a silver lining  less speed  the heart grow fonder  the mother of intention  is worth two in the bush  deserves another  twice shy  before they hatch  are soon parted  wait for no man  into the fire

Tip

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Good writers are ‘historians’. They use wise lessons from the past and use these to write cautionary tales for children. Aesop, a Greek slave in ancient times, wrote many entertaining fables to teach lessons about human failings and to instruct people how to behave. Old proverbs serve the same purpose. You could use a proverb to write your own fable.

(a) Absence makes (b) A bird in the hand (c)

Every cloud

. . .

More haste,

(g) Necessity is

(e) (f)

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(h) Time and tide (i)

One good turn

(j)

Out of the frying pan,

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(d) Once bitten,

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(k) Don’t count your chickens

. . . .

2. In your group, discuss the meanings of each of the proverbs. Compare your meanings with those of other groups. 3. Plan a fable using one of the proverbs as the lesson to be taught. Proverb: Characters: Initiating event: Problem: Solution: www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 7: Planning tips Delve into history Indicators  Listens to excerpts from stories based on historical events  Chooses an era to research from a given list and establishes the kinds of problems experienced during that time  Reports findings to the class  Writes a story based on real events from history  Listens to excerpts from stories based on historical events

Introduction

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1. Read excerpts from children’s novels that have an historical background; for example, novels such as the following that use WWII as a background:  I am David by Anne Holm  Waiting for Anya by Micheal Morpurgo  Kingdom by the sea by Robert Westall  The cay by Theodore Taylor Other eras that many children’s novels have been based upon include medieval times, the opening up of the west in the USA and Victorian England. 2. Tell the story of Ned Kelly and ask students what they think it would have been like to live in those days. Was he a hero or a villain?

3. Ask students: If we wanted to write a story based on history, how could we research the background of a particular era? Where could we go to find the information so that our story seems real?

4. Invite an elderly person to the school to talk about lifestyle when he/she was a child. Have children prepare relevant questions before the visit.

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Discuss the information in the box by referring back to the excerpts you have read to students as an introduction. 1. Ask students if they are able to carry out any of the research suggested in the box. If not, why? Correct any negative responses that are not valid, by showing students how they can carry out this research. 2. (a) List a number of possible eras on the board: different wars, Elizabethan era, early Australian or American history, medieval times, times of King Arthur, Victorian England etc. (b) Have students individually, or in groups, choose an era to research. (c) Research and report back to the class the information they have discovered, adding the kind of problems a child living in that era could face.

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Using the activity page

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Extension Have students write a story using the information to help create the setting and the problem. Remind students that it is not necessary to create accents or regional dialects when they write dialogue, as that is very difficult to sustain.

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Unit 7: Planning tips Delve into history Tip Many successful authors are also historians. They blow the dust off dreary dates and politics to discover characters who are interesting and who have faced different problems from the ones we face today. They discover heroes who fought for their rights and then they invent imaginary heroes of their own. By reading about history, writers can discover new settings in which to place their characters—settings that will help to make history come alive.

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1. Place a tick next to any of the following that are available to you.

Visit a museum to view historical exhibits. Look at artefacts.

Visit a city library and talk to the library’s archivist. Visit a newspaper office and ask if you can read very early copies of the newspapers. Study old photos and imagine how it would have been to live in those times.

Visit an old cemetery. Read headstones to find interesting inscriptions that fire your imagination.

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Read a history book about an era you feel could be exciting or interesting.

If your school keeps records, find out if any famous people once attended. Visit an old people’s home and talk to the residents about their childhoods. Find out about daily life in a particular era.

© R. I . C.Publ i cat o n i View ans historical movie. 2. Choose • an era and the chart ofu information about then era you • have chosen. f o rcomplete r evi e w p r pose so l y Visit an old church and ask if the church has historical records you can see. Background research area

Things I discovered

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What kind of food did they eat? Who held the power and was it misused? Were most people rich or were most poor? What occupations were available?

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How did they dress?

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What kinds of beliefs did the people have? Was education available to everyone? If not, how could someone poor learn to read and write? What did the people do for leisure? What kind of transport was used? Did they have servants? Did they have pets?

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 8: Revising and editing First drafts Indicator  Uses checklists and reference materials to assist with the revising and editing process

Introductory notes

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Good writers are also good editors who revise and edit their work. The checklist and grammar notes are intended as reference notes to be used by students when revising and editing their own writing. Some students find the editing process daunting. Therefore, it is suggested that teachers identify target items from the list for students who require extra assistance. More able students could be given extra items to target.

Using the reference material 1. Discuss the information in the box, making it clear that there is a distinction between revising and editing. 2. Explain why it is important to revise before editing and that reading a first draft aloud, or to a friend, can help identify conceptual gaps in the writing (encourage students to ask, ‘What do you mean by that?’).

3. Advise students that it is easier to revise their work if they take a break and come back to it at a later time. It is much easier to find conceptual errors if they do.

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5. Carry out a class revising exercise using a student’s writing (but be sure to ask for the student’s permission first, and never identify whose work it is). Choose a sample that exemplifies some of the problems in the checklist and ask: How do you think this student could improve his or her work? What do you like about the writing? Is there anything that is not clear to you? What can we do to make it clearer? Prepare some suggestions of your own in case students find this difficult (you may need to revert to teacher modelling to start).

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6. Prepare an OHP of the writing, but read the sample aloud twice before the students see the written product.

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4. Explain the meanings of the features listed in the checklist. Refer back to relevant activities in this book, if they are unsure.

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7. Place the writing on the OHP and highlight the areas identified as unclear.

8. Write student suggestions for revision (or your own suggestions) on the whiteboard.

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Unit 8: Revising and editing First drafts Making changes so your writing is clearer is called revising. Good writers always check their first drafts to make sure that ideas make sense and follow a logical sequence. It helps to read your work aloud to another person when you are revising. Sometimes, work that makes sense to the writer may not be quite so clear to others.

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Making changes because the writer has made mistakes is called editing It is advisable to revise before you edit for grammar errors, punctuation errors or spelling errors. If you edit first, you may be wasting time, because after revising, it’s possible you might decide to discard a whole section of text that you’ve already edited.

Good writers are also good editors who revise and edit their work. Use this checklist to help you revise your first draft.

Features to check

Ideas link together smoothly

Yes

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Main characters are defined clearly Setting enhances the story and includes sensory impressions

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There are no loose ends or conceptual leaps

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Suspense is achieved through word usage and sentence length Overused adjectives, adverbs and verbs have been avoided Poetic techniques have been used to enhance the story Dialogue sounds ‘real’

Each part of the story has been developed, so the story is balanced Resolution is clearly related to the initiating event and problem Resolution is realistic and logical www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 8: Revising and editing Punctuation Indicator  Uses checklists and reference material to assist with the revising and editing process

Introductory notes

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The checklist and grammar notes are intended as reference notes to be used by students when revising and editing their own writing. Some students find the editing process daunting. Therefore, it is suggested that teachers identify target items from the list for students who require extra assistance. More able students could be given extra items to target.

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Using the reference material

1. Revise the distinction between revising and editing and why it is important to revise before editing. 2. Explain also that how punctuation is used can be debatable. Although there are some definite rules, authors often punctuate to show readers how they want the text to be read. 3. Write the following sentence on the board: John said his mother is the most talented violin player in town. Ask: Who is talented? Change the punctuation to show the following: ‘John’, said his mother, ‘is the most talented violin player in town’. Ask again: Who is talented? What made the meaning of the sentence change?

4. Explain that not only words carry meaning, but punctuation carries meaning.

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6. Prepare an OHP of a student’s writing for a whole-class editing exercise (but be sure to ask for the student’s permission first, and never identify whose work it is). Choose a sample that exemplifies some of the problems in the checklist. Ask: Is there any punctuation you can see that needs correction? Is there any punctuation missing? 7. Be prepared to revert to teacher modelling if necessary. Alternatively, you may wish to target each punctuation item one-by-one, marking each one in a different coloured pen.

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5. Revise the meaning of the punctuation features listed in the checklist.

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8. Make copies of the writing and use this as a revision worksheet.

9. Alternatively, carry out a jigsaw editing activity—Form groups of six students, numbering each student 1–6. Distribute a copy of the sheet to each student to edit independently. Students then compare and discuss their findings, making further changes. Following this, have students regroup so that all the students numbered 1 are together, all the students numbered 2 are together and so on. Students in the new group compare their findings and make any changes necessary. The teacher circulates, assisting groups and answering questions.

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Unit 8: Revising and editing Punctuation Good writers edit their work to correct any spelling, punctuation or grammar errors.

Use this checklist to help you edit the punctuation that is most commonly used.

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YES

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Used at the end of each sentence. Used for abbreviations, when the last letter of the word and the Edit for full stops abbreviation are not the same. Used after initials in abbreviations (in some cases). Used at the beginning of each sentence. Used for all proper nouns (names, places, days, months, holidays, streets, buildings, businesses, brand names, titles of books, plays and songs). Edit for capital letters Used for the first person ‘I’, as well as a deity such as God. Used for adjectives that are made from a proper name (Australian, French). Used to separate items in a series. Used to separate words or phrases added to in a sentence as further explanation (e.g. My friend, Sally, came with us). Used to separate the person being spoken to from the rest of the Edit for commas sentence (e.g. Jack, watch where you’re going please.). Used after the word ‘however’, when it starts a sentence. Used when two main clauses are joined by a conjunction (e.g. John wanted to stay and help, but his mother wouldn’t let him). Used at the end of a question that needs to be answered (e.g. Are you coming tonight?). Edit for question marks Used for polite requests (e.g. Would you please shut the door for me?). Used to show shock or incredulity (e.g. You met who?). Use to show ownership (e.g. the boy’s toys; the boys’ bikes). The apostrophe is placed after the owner/owners. Edit for apostrophes Used when two words are shortened into one word and some letters have been left out. The apostrophe shows where letters are missing (e.g. we will – we’ll, do not – don’t). Edit for exclamation Used to express strong emotions such as surprise, anger, despair, disgust, marks appreciation (e.g. How stupid of me!). Used in direct speech to enclose the words that are actually spoken (e.g. ‘I need you to go to the shop’, said Jane’s mother.). Used when the meaning of a word is shown in a sentence (e.g. In Italian, ‘ciao’ means both hello and goodbye.). Edit for quotation Used when a word is being used in an unusual way marks (e.g. The ugly ‘craters’ in his cheeks indicated that he must have experienced a bad case of acne when he was younger). Used to enclose the titles of books, plays, movies and songs (e.g. My favourite movie series is ‘Lord of the rings’; what’s yours?).

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 8: Revising and editing Choosing words wisely Indicator  Uses checklists and reference materials to assist with the revising and editing process.

Introductory notes

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Using the reference material

1. Stress the importance of developing a wider vocabulary. Explain that when students begin to use new words they often have difficulty with spelling them. Discuss the information in the box. 2. Explain also that, although there are generalisations that we can use to help us become better spellers, there can also be exceptions to any rule. However, it is beneficial to master the rules and to learn the exceptions separately as they come across them.

3. Revise the spelling rules listed in the checklist.

5. Ask: Can you identify any words that need correction for spelling? Underline all the words that students identify and have them check their dictionaries. Students will sometimes identify a word that is already correctly spelled; however, for the purpose of the exercise, it is recommended that you underline all words and allow students to check.

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6. Be prepared to revert to teacher modelling if necessary. 7. Make copies of the writing and use this as a revision worksheet.

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8. Alternatively, carry out a jigsaw activity (see page 86).

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4. Prepare an OHP of a student’s writing for a whole-class editing exercise (but be sure to ask for the student’s permission first, and never identify whose work it is). Choose a sample that exemplifies some of the problems in the checklist.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 8: Revising and editing Choosing words wisely Good writers constantly and consciously experiment with words in order to increase their vocabulary. Often, they know the meaning of a new word, but are unsure how to spell it. Unfortunately, you cannot always rely on the computer ‘spell check’ because it can only identify the word you are trying to spell if you have sequenced most of the letters correctly. In addition, it cannot distinguish whether you have a correct homophone or not. For example, if you write: I don’t know weather to go or not; the spell check will not be able to identify that you have misspelled ‘whether’.

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It is a good idea to keep a notebook in which to jot down interesting words you come across in your reading. However, be sure to include the word in a sentence that shows its meaning and be sure you spell it correctly.

Homophones and near-homophones

 there, they’re, their

 aloud, allowed

 hole, whole

 led, lead

 practise, practice

 principal, principle

 seen, scene

 stationary, stationery

 threw, through

 wear, where, ware

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Here are some things to watch out for:

 weather, whether, wether  brought, bought  When ‘c’ or ‘g’ are followed by ‘a’, ‘o’ or ‘u’ they have a hard sound (career, convict, custard, gather, golden, gutter).

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Keeping a vowel sound short

 ‘t’ is often placed before ‘ch’ (hatch, wretch, bewitch, hotchpotch, crutch)  Double the consonant when you add ‘ed’, ‘er’, ‘est’, or ‘ing’ (patted, skidded, pedalled, patrolled, spotting, travelling, betting, flatter, thinnest).

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Order of letters

Adding letters

Changing or dropping letters

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 When you add ‘able’ to a word that has a soft ‘c’ or ‘g’, retain the silent ‘e’ (enforceable, enlargeable, forgeable, noticeable, peaceable).  ‘d’ is often placed before ‘ge’ (sedge, sludge, gadget, pledge, ridge)

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 Double the consonant after a short vowel when you add ‘le’ (waggle, peddle, wriggle, toggle, struggle).  ‘i’ comes before ‘e’ except after ‘c’ in most words (fierce, believe, shield, receive, deceive, receipt)  Add plural ‘s’ to the main word when making a compound noun plural (passersby, sons-in-law, masters-at-arms, great-aunts).  Add a ‘k’ to words that end in ‘ic’ or ‘ac’ before adding a suffix (picnicking, panicky, drug-trafficker, panicked).

 Drop an ‘l’ when adding ‘all’, ‘full’, or ‘well’ to a word (altogether, almost, fanciful, woeful, welfare, welcomer).  Change ‘e’ to ‘i’ when adding ‘–ous’ to a word that ends in ‘e’ (gracious, avaricious, officious).  With words that end in ‘ce’ or ‘ge’, drop the silent ‘e’ when you add ‘ing’ (tracing, inviting, pledging, dodging, trudging).

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 8: Revising and editing Common errors Indicator  Uses checklists and reference materials to assist with the revising and editing process

Introductory notes

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Using the reference material

1. Discuss the importance of good grammar and that an awareness of grammar rules can assist students to write clearly and accurately. 2. There are many good books containing grammar exercises. You may wish to use supplementary exercises in conjunction with this page before continuing with the following exercise. 3. Prepare an OHP of a student’s writing for a whole-class editing exercise (but be sure to ask for the student’s permission first, and never identify whose work it is). Choose a sample that exemplifies some of the grammar problems listed. Ask: Can you see any grammar that needs correcting? Why does it need correction? Refer back to the relevant rule in the list.

4. Be prepared to revert to teacher modelling if necessary. Alternatively, you may wish to target each error one-by-one, marking each one in a different coloured pen.

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6. Alternatively, carry out a jigsaw activity (see page 86).

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5. Make copies of the writing and use this as a revision worksheet.

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Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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Unit 8: Revising and editing Common errors—1 Good writers can identify and are conscious of avoiding common grammatical errors. This is not an easy task because there are so many English grammar rules to master. However, you can be aware of the most common ones and check your work carefully in order to avoid making them.

Here are some of the most common error points to look for. 1. Agreement

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The subject of a sentence must agree with the verb: When the subject is singular, the verb must be singular. If the subject is plural, the verb must also be plural. For example, it is correct to write: The old man goes to the market every Thursday. The old man and his wife go to the market every Thursday.

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If you use a singular pronoun, do not change it to a plural within the sentence. For example it is incorrect to write: A child must show respect for old people; they should give up their seat to older citizens. You can use the gender neutral ‘they’ to avoid sexist language, but be consistent and use it with a plural pronoun.

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Verb tenses and number must be consistent within a sentence. For example: it is incorrect to write—She mixed the batter and cooks it immediately. It is also incorrect to write—The effects of climate change is very worrying.

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© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons However, two nouns joined by: as well as; together with; accompanied by; along with; with, are treated •f o r e i e wis thep ur p es on l y •is coming to as singular andr only thev first noun subject (e.g.o Thes boy, together with his sister,

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Two nouns joined by and are treated as two subjects and the verb is plural (e.g. The boy and his sister are coming to the party).

the party).

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When using certain expressions of quantity such as: a lot of; ten per cent of; some of; two-tenths of; the noun that follows determines verb agreement (e.g. Some of the lesson was boring. Some of the lessons were boring).

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Relative pronouns such as who, which, what and that, usually refer to the closest noun (e.g. He is a boy who likes parties. She is one of the girls who plan the best parties).

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Some nouns and pronouns are always singular and therefore they take a singular verb

– Indefinite pronouns such as: everyone, everybody; someone, somebody, nobody; one, each, every; noone, anyone; either and neither are singular pronouns and need a singular verb (e.g. One glass is chipped. Nobody is coming. Neither of the boys is coming). – Non-count, abstract and collective nouns such as: rice, education, machinery, honesty, health, mail, information and reliability are considered singular and take a singular verb (e.g. Violence has swept the country. The equipment is very rusty). – A number of nouns that end in an ‘s’ are also singular and take singular verbs—(politics, measles, statistics, news, the Philippines (e.g. Measles is a common childhood disease; The Philippines is bracing for the cyclone heading eastwards). – When you refer to subjects concerning amounts of money, distance and time, the verb used is singular (Five dollars is too cheap for this. Ten minutes is all I can spare today. Ten kilometres is his favourite race). www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications®

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

Unit 8: Revising and editing Common errors—2 

Some subject nouns are always plural and therefore they take plural verbs; this includes words like: staff, personnel, police; a number of (several); the educated, the poor, the rich, the sick (e.g. The police are on parade. A number of patients do not have their medical records with them. The poor have no chance of paying the rent you are asking).

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Some nouns can be singular or plural depending on the meaning you intend. For example, if you are emphasising the group as one single unit, you use a singular verb (e.g. The team enjoys playing together). But, if you want to emphasise the individuals in the group, you use a plural verb (e.g. The team like their new uniforms).

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2. Dangling or misplaced modifiers

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A dangling modifier is a phrase or clause which states something different from what you meant because you have omitted some words, leaving the meaning of the sentence ‘dangling’. For example, it is incorrect to write: While shopping in the markets yesterday a car crashed into the shop window (it sounds like the car was shopping). It is correct to write: While I was shopping in the markets yesterday, a car crashed into the shop window. So, when a modifier ‘dangles’, making your sentence mean something different from that which you intended, restate it by adding the words it needs in order for it to make sense. 3. Irregular verbs

Most past tense verbs in English end in ‘–ed’; however, some are irregular. Be careful when using the following: ring, rang, rung; bring, brought, have brought; buy, bought, have bought; begin, began, have begun; drink, drank, have drunk; forbid, forbade, have forbidden; shrink, shrank, have shrunken; swear, swore, have sworn. There are many lists of irregular verbs available and it is useful to consult them.

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5. Redundancy when using comparatives and superlatives

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full support. It is incorrect to write: I should of given him my full support. Likewise, it is incorrect to write: I would of liked to give my full support—or—I could of given him my full support. You must use: could have; would have and should have.

It is incorrect to write: Jack is more smaller than Jim—or—They were the ‘most happiest’ days of my life. Smaller already means more than just small, so it is redundant to say ‘more smaller’. Similarly, happiest already means the greatest state of being happy, so it is redundant to use most.

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6. Misused apostrophes

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Never use apostrophes for possessive pronouns such as: its, whose, yours and theirs. It’s is a contraction for ‘it is’, but its is a possessive; who’s is a contraction for who is’, but whose is a possessive; you’re is a contraction for ‘you are’, but your is a possessive; they’re is a contraction for ‘they are’ but there is a place and their is a possessive; there’s is a contraction for ‘there is’, but theirs is possessive; let’s is a contraction for ‘let us’. Nouns that are plurals don’t need an apostrophe (e.g. Dogs can be dangerous); but, possessives that are made by adding ‘s’ do need an apostrophe (e.g. The dog’s bone was buried in the yard). 7. Misused pronouns Pronouns have one form when they are the subject of a sentence and another form when they are the object of a sentence. For example: I (subject) and me (object)—I dislike Jack; Jack dislikes me; he (subject) and him (object)—He came to see Jack. Jack didn’t let him in. Here are some more: she (subject) her (object); we (subject) us (object); they (subject) them (object); who (subject) whom (object). In informal writing it is acceptable to use the object form. In this case, the answer to the question: ‘Who’s there?’ can be answered as: ‘It’s me’, or ‘It’s him’. In formal writing the answer should be, ‘It is I.’ or ‘It is he’. 92

Writing best-ever narratives—A skills approach

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