Reader Digest

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READER DIGEST POETRY & RECIPES

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READER DIGEST

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COMPILED BY PRAVASAN PILLAY & VICTORIA WILLIAMS

Published by Tearoom Books 2011 Stockholm, Sweden Reader Digest Pravasan Pillay and Victoria Williams eds.

Cover and graphic design: Jenny Kellerman Pillay Š Individual poems and recipes remain the copyright of the poet.

Best Before: 20 November 2019

CONTENTS my Philosophic honey by Haidee Kruger......................................6 I Am A Vegetarian by Jacob Kobina Ayiah Mensah..................8 On The Side by Adam Taylor..........................................................10 Homebody by Eva Jackson.............................................................12 Pickled Gherkins by Philip Burton................................................14 Sunday Morning by Joan McNerney.............................................16 Victoria Sponge by Heshel Heller..................................................18 Pussy Pop by Pär Svensson ...........................................................20 Scout’s Honour by John L. Cope...................................................22 consumed by Anton Krueger.........................................................24 Tablecloth Song by Joanna O’Connor...........................................26 Peach by V.W. Sparkes..................................................................28 Clandestine by Gary Cummiskey.................................................30

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. – Ambrose Bierce

For Heshel Heller (1922–2010)

my Philosophic honey Haidee Kruger my Philosophic honey reading Derrida on the rocks Ponders Profoundly the Infinite Slippage of Meaning while

Oh so deeply dressed for Sunset over The Sea sadly got knocked down under a wave and intensely mauled by a Profoundly Unphilosophical

shark

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Snappy fish soup for two. Or one (depending) 3 cups good chicken or vegetable stock 90 g soba noodles (any noodly things you have to hand should work) Two handfuls of broccoli, sliced into nice-looking bits (tenderstem broccoli works better than ordinary, if you can get) A handful of sugar snaps, sliced lengthways A handful of baby corn, halved 100 g fresh fish, thinly sliced 1 tablespoon miso Spring onions, finely shredded Coriander leaves Fresh ginger, grated Bring the stock to a boil. Add the noodles and vegetables and simmer for a few minutes until the noodles are tender, and the veggies just cooked (but still crisp). Add the fish, cover and turn off the heat. Leave for a bit, so the fish is just cooked. Strain the soup, and divide the solids between two bowls. Whisk the miso into the broth, and then pour the liquid into the soup bowls. Sprinkle with coriander leaves, grated ginger and shredded spring onion.

fghe Haidee Kruger is a lecturer, editor, writer and translator. Her debut collection of poetry, Lush: poems for four voices, was published by Protea Book House (South Africa) in 2007.

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I Am A Vegetarian Jacob Kobina Ayiah Mensah I am a vegetarian, A stew made of aubergine garden.

The Greeks know me better than the Brits But all living on my hedge, Life is like that.

So in the midday plates Before a vegetarian poet, I can see how nervous he is Making things without adjectives.

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A Special Aubergine Stew 3 medium aubergines 1 medium onion 3 medium tomatoes 1 pepper A small piece of ginger Salt Palm oil Water Wash and boil aubergine. Gently take the seeds and the skins away.

Wash and peel ginger.

Wash pepper and grind with ginger.

Wash tomatoes and cut each into two. Drain the liquid and sieve.

Slice tomatoes.

Wash, peel and slice onion.

Heat a small quantity of palm oil according to the size of the stew in a clean sauce pan.

Add pepper and ginger, onion, tomatoes, liquid and salt and leave to boil for about 5 minutes.

Add aubergine and later add water.

Serve with banku, rice or yam.

fghe Ayiah Mensah, a vegetarian, poet, artist, translator, journalist and teacher edits The Rough Sheet Tanka Journal and manages Kofi Edofo Gallery and Kukubenkuka, a bar of food of tanka. He lives in the southern part of Ghana.

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On The Side Adam Taylor he didn’t live life on the verge or on the edge or on the fringe he didn’t merge he didn’t splurge he never balanced on a ledge he never made it to the border and when he died they dried their eyes and racked their heads and said, oh yes, one thing that cannot be denied: he always ordered on the side

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Harissa Sauce 225 g (8 oz.) dried chillies 120 ml (1/2 cup) olive oil 4 cloves of garlic 3–4 tablespoons water 1 tablespoon ground coriander 1 tablespoon caraway seeds 1 tablespoon salt Remove the seeds and ribs from the dried chillies and soak in warm water for 20 minutes. Mash the garlic and salt together in a mortar and add the other ingredients, crushing them into a smooth paste.

Slowly blend in the olive oil. Place in a jar and use as needed but exercising caution.

fghe Adam Taylor writes and broadcasts topical poems on the BBC World Service as resident poet for “The World Today”. He has performed at the Edinburgh Fringe, Ledbury Poetry Festival, Jewish Book Week and elsewhere. His poetry book is God’s Face In Your Gazpacho. For more poems visit: www.adamtaylorpoetry.com

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Homebody Eva Jackson Known sea.

Instead, stand at the counter, Crush a split pea.

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Chickpeas, red onions and sweetness Combine: 5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 3 large red onions, thinly sliced 4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced 1 fresh red chili or green, sliced into thin rings 2 teaspoons fresh thyme leaves 4 tablespoons fresh lemon juice, 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest 600 g cooked chickpeas, drained and rinsed if from a can Handful of fresh flat-leaf parsley 250 g feta cut into small chunks or crumbled way down Salt Watercress, if you’re inclined

fghe Eva Jackson lives a life of profound drama, without ever going anywhere. This works well. She is a postgraduate history student in Durban, South Africa and currently works in the NGO sector. She has gone on many journeys inside poems and then scuttled them. She’s a lost horse with a luggage tag tied to its leg, and believes in compaction.

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Pickled Gherkins Philip Burton My uncle Taddy, from Gdanskin Poland, loves his pickles.

He would not give a thank you for fresh stuff. He makes planks – long strips of pickled gherkin to cover his plate edge in.

He puts mountains of vinegary cabbage in the middle like a V shape and – in between – a walnut or two from a jar, like Pizza Hut do, and then some Pan Yan and potato salad if he can.

His plate is full and beautiful and when he takes a mouthful my auntie laughs.

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Pickled Gherkins Small dill cucumbers Brine, using 225 g salt to each 2 litres water Spiced vinegar Place the gherkins in a saucepan, and cover with the brine. Bring nearly to boiling point. Do not actually boil, but simmer for 10 minutes. Drain and leave until cold, then pack into prepared jars, and cover with spiced vinegar, preferably aromatic. Put on vinegar-proof covers.

fghe Philip Burton is widely published in literary magazines and in anthologies for children. Sequences of his poems are to be found in P.N. Review #130 and in Stand Literary Quarterly # September 2003. He is a 2005 Lancaster litfest winner, and received a commendation in 2009 from The Kent and Sussex Poetry Competition.

He is available to schools at www.philipburton.net

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Sunday Morning Joan McNerney A cup of coffee warm fat pancakes bubbling up my haiku breakfast.

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Apples Take one small apple and cut it in four sections.

Remove pits and place on paper plate and microwave 2 minutes.

No microwave?

Use a pan to bake at medium temperature for 5 to 10 minutes.

No oven, use a small amount of oil or butter to fry on top of cook stove for 5 to 10 minutes.

No cook stove‌eat the apple.

fghe Joan McNerney’s poetry has been included in numerous literary magazines such as Boston Review of the Arts, Kalliope, Mudfish, Spectrum and Word Thursdays. Four of her books have been published by fine literary presses. Her latest title is Having Lunch with the Sky, A.P.D. Press. Visit: www.joanspoems.com

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Victoria Sponge Heshel Heller Victoria Sponge Two pillows to slide A finger between Victoria Sponge Cream on your nose Jelly on your tongue Victoria Sponge A dusting of sugar Everything’s sweet Victoria Sponge I wish I could Believe it

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Victoria Sponge Cake Ingredients for 2 x 19 cm cake tins: 175 g soft margarine 175 g caster sugar 3 eggs 175 g self raising flour Grease the tins and line the base of each with greaseproof paper. Put the margarine, sugar, sifted flour and eggs into a bowl and mix them together. Once well combined, beat the mixture for a couple of minutes, incorporating as much air as possible. Divide the mixture between the tins, spreading to the sides but leaving the centre slightly hollow.

To try to prevent the surface of the cake from burning, cut a circle of greaseproof paper slightly bigger in diameter than the cake tin, and place on top of it as a kind of ‘lid’. Bake at 190°C or gas mark 5 for 25–30 minutes. Cool on a wire rack. For the filling: jam with butter cream or whipped cream. Dust with icing sugar.

fghe Heshel Heller grew up among the bakeries of Water Street, Worcester in Massachusetts and went on to study and write about architecture for over 30 years.

A collection of his essays and poetry, The River in the Basement, was published in 1997. Heller passed away in late 2010. The above recipe was provided by his granddaughter, Emily Heller.

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Pussy Pop* P채r Svensson She hid the Pop Rocks In her nether regions.

Sweets were forbidden In the Foreign Legion.

Sadly, the candy began Its sturm und drang.

And she was machine-gunned dead Bang bang, bang bang. *Translated from Swedish by Rasmus Nilsson.

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Exploding Ice Cream Vanilla Ice Cream Pop Rocks Scoop out three (or more) spoons of vanilla ice cream. Sprinkle liberally with Pop Rocks of your choice (I prefer Strawberry). Eat. Await explosions in your mouth.

fghe Pär Svensson is a poet based in MalmÜ, Sweden. His first poetry chapbook Torr humor, torrare vaginor (Dry wit, drier vaginas) was published in 2009.

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Scout’s Honour John L. Cope Little Johnny at the jamboree, Sat up late with Scoutmaster McTwee, The latter’s hand on the former’s knee, Toasting marshmallows round the fire, But Johnny leaned too close to the pyre, And as the flames did their worst, The scoutmaster looked on aghast, But then thought: well perhaps this is a sign, A message from forces divine, We both have been saved by the flames, Though of course there is the unpleasant matter, Of what to do with the remains.

So the next evening as the light grew dimmer, The scouts sat round the fire for dinner, The flames were hot, the meat was tender, The scouts discussed the day’s adventures, And McTwee joined in the crunch and crack, Of roasted meat and creamy fat, And though his feeble smile did waver, The taste he soon began to savour, So when little Timmy held out his plate, And exclaimed ‘Oh Mercy! That was great!’

A strange glow lit the master’s face, And he said, ‘Timmy you may be right, The Lord works in mysterious ways; We might do well to call it fate, Now how would you like to stay up late?’

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Crackling For best results, score the flesh in vertical lines before roasting. Some choose to rub salt into the cuts. The juices will bubble up and the skin will crisp and blister, leaving the fat soft underneath.

fghe John L. Cope is a butcher first and musician second. One further tip for achieving excellent crackling: score the skin with Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata and accompany the cooking on the piano.

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consumed Anton Krueger what if one day all we have left to consume is ourselves?

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During a recent Tibetan Buddhism (Kagyu lineage) retreat held at the Tara Rokpa Centre in the Groot Marico district (South Africa), I found myself charged with brewing the morning porridge for the retreatants.

Primordial Porridge: Reflections on Emptiness, Compassion and Oats To begin: Mix together three cups of water for every cup of Jungle Oats.

Add a pinch of salt and bring to the boil. From this basic essential substance numerous variations became possible: 1. Goji berries. (A simple, yet effective treat, brimful of anti-oxidants.)

2. Coriander, cumin, date chutney, mulberry jam. (Not bad at all.)

3. Cinnamon, star aniseed, brown sugar, cumin, nutmeg. (This variation is not necessarily recommended for those battling an overt attachment to a visual sensibility, since the crushed star aniseed tend to resemble mites floating on top of the brew. Look, it doesn’t taste bad, but I did see a few retreatants returning their porridge to the communal bowl with a disgruntled splash, eyebrows raised.)

4. Marmite, cumin, coriander, Chinese five spice. (A full, yeasty flavour for those missing their meat.)

5. Apple slices, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, brown sugar. (I call this one the pudding porridge. It serves as an excellent reminder of the honey on the razor blade, designating the temporary pleasures of karmic existence.)

fghe Anton Krueger is a pseudonym used by Anton Krueger. Readers should be wary to confuse him with neither Anton Krueger, the administrative assistant, nor with Anton Krueger, the ostrich farmer; both of whom live in the Eastern Cape, South Africa, as does Anton Krueger.

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Tablecloth Song Joanna O’Connor You are like mint tea, sickly But sweet I shift with rage in my seat.

Your rolling Jade irises too, Are like tea.

It’s five AM now, I stir as the clock chimes You really do scald me, Sometimes.

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Moroccan Mint Tea (makes 4–6 cups) 1 pint boiling water 1 green teabag 50 g fresh mint Few drops lemon juice Sugar, to taste Boil the water. Add all of the ingredients together but the sugar, leaving to brew for 5 minutes. Serve either unaccompanied, or with sugar to sweeten.

fghe Joanna O’Connor is studying for an undergraduate degree in English Literature and Creative Writing at the University of East Anglia, UK. She displays with graceful ease the usual student traits of selective hearing, an allergy to washing up and the ability to absorb alcohol like a sponge. At twenty years old, she is not sure what she wants to do with her life yet but her first priority is to obtain a pet tortoise.

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Peach V.W. Sparkes The first man to sleep nude on my bed, I remember, I came back from the nightshift to find you, Still on your front, Your bum in the air, Like a peach with its fuzz, Those dark furry lines; The smiles of the sleeping, So like all good lovers, I offered it some wine, And lit for us two cigarettes.

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Caramelised Peach 3 tablespoons brown sugar Knob of butter 1 peach, cut into wedges Gently melt the sugar and butter in a pan. Add the peach wedges and cook for 3–5 minutes, coating in the caramel. Serve drizzled with honey as an accompaniment to toast and whipped cream.

fghe V.W. Sparkes was born near Birmingham, England and currently works a number of jobs in the service industry, which is a nice way of putting it. She does a lot of knitting, and her autobiographical cardigan will be finished later this year.

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Clandestine Gary Cummiskey I come home to find a few strange turds floating in the toilet.

Someone has broken into my house to have a clandestine crap.

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Fried Turds, Chips and Mushy Peas 2 long, sausage-like fresh turds: must not be older than 1 day Batter mix, made from flour, corn starch, water and 1 egg Crinkle-cut chips for deep frying 1 tin of mushy peas 1 tin of cholesterol Dip each fresh turd into batter mix until completely covered. Deep fry the battered turds in a pan full of lard. For best results, the lard should be about 1 month old and have been used excessively during that period.

Once the turds are fried crispy brown, remove to the warming drawer.

Fry the chips in the same lard until crispy brown.

The mushy peas can be microwaved.

Place the turds, chips and mushy peas onto a cracked plate.

Pour cholesterol liberally over the turds and chips.

The dish tastes best with HP (brown) sauce.

Origins of recipe: The above is a post-colonial version of an arcane recipe available from any outlet of The Shite Shoppe in Glasgow, Scotland.

The dish originates from an obscure Scottish custom involving turning your back to England, throwing a turd over your shoulder and muttering: ‘That’s right, eat shite.’

fghe Gary Cummiskey is the author of several poetry collections, including Romancing the Dead (Tearoom Books) and Sky Dreaming (Graffiti Kolkata, India). He co-edited, with Eva Kowalska, Who was Sinclair Beiles? He is the editor of Dye Hard Press and lives in Johannesburg, South Africa. Visit: www.dyehard-press.blogspot.com

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Also by Tearoom Books Glumlazi by Pravasan Pillay Knock Knock Jokes Pertaining to Common Human Ailments by Pravasan Pillay Romancing the Dead by Gary Cummiskey www.tearoombooks.blogspot.com

h h h h h h h h h h h Reader Digest is a free e-chapbook of poetry and recipes, compiled by Pravasan Pillay and Victoria Williams, and featuring 13 poets from 5 different countries. Poets were asked to pair their poems with a suitable recipe and the result is a deliciously good read.

Best Before: 20 November 2019

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