Buttherearesomanyinstanceswhenhardworkdoesn’twork.Whenafriendsays,“just losetenpounds.”Whenhedidn’ttake“no”forananswer.Whenyou’refeelinghelpless, oranxious,orworried,oralone.Hardwork,determination,perseverance,and“toughing itout”isn’twhatyouneedtothrive.
TEENGRITwillshowyouthatovercomingadifficulttimeinyourlifedoesn’thaveto comeattheexpenseofbeingsomeoneyouarenot.Theweeklyexercisesprovideaspace foryoutotellyourstory,redefinesyourrelationshipwithyourself esteem,guardsyour mentalhealth,fiercelyprotectsyourrighttowellness,andcreatesanatmosphere groundedinpassion,exploration,creativity,andgrowth.
Thestoriesandlessonsinspireyoutohonoryouridentity,courageouslyshareyour story,fiercelyprotectyourmentalhealth,andembracelifeasanexplorerwithno purposeorendpointinmind.
Gritisnormallydefinedas hardworkandpersistence.
Imaginelivinginaworldwhereyoucanbewhoyouareandthrive?
PAGE PAGE 02
MINDFULNESS Mindfulness is the practice of purposely bringing one's attention in the present moment without judgment
04 We Should All Be Trouble Makers Lot's of people aren't very good storytellers. 08 EXERCISE: Become The Author of Your Life The most important story of your life is the one you tell about yourself. 10 Creative Wellness Is Your Missing Link Being artistic and creative is a key component of your wellness plan. 12 YOGI INSIDER: Just Plop It Kick start your wellness through a daily practice pf creative doodling. 14 He said/She Said Explore the world of your inner critic Contents
15 EXERCISE: Detangle From Your Inner Critic 18 SHORT STORY Compassion Over Self-Esteem by Zoë Read 22 You Can't Be Perfect and Happy Challenging perfectionism is an act of resistance. 24 EXERCISE: The Mighty Power of the Pen Loving your body isn’t easy. But putting pen to paper can help.
Knees to Chest Seated Forward Fold Easy Pose Legs Up CPose hild Pose Cobra Pose 6 YOGA POSES TO DO BEFORE BED
Find your starting point Set your own intention Keep diligence and consistency Listen to your body Enjoy all the new experience Yoga Tips FOR BEGINNERS
TROUBLEMAKERS HAVINGSPENTMOSTOFMYTEENAGEYEARSNAPPINGIN THERAPY,IKNOWTHATTHERAPISTSWANTTO“UNCOVER THEGREATTRAUMA”OFYOURTEENAGEPAST. WeliveinaworldthatallowsBobotheClowntorunloose.Hetellsawfulstories about everyone Bobo thinks girls should stay girls and should always play small Thatwomenshouldbeseennotheard Thatweshouldjustdisappear BOBO Tells Awful Stories About You
TEENGRIT wwwmykindadoctorcom SHAME FREE WELLNESS BY A REBEL MD WELLNESSREVIEW
When talking about self esteem, it's time we address thepinkelephantintheroomnamedBobotheClown. Therapists want to “uncover the great trauma” of your teenage past They want a bigger reason why someone would self harm. Why you’re anxious. Or depressed. Why you won’t eat. Or why you're throwing up. So, they search and search and search some more Are your parents horrible people?” Did the kids at school push you around? ” These are reasonable questions for any therapy session Lots of parents’ stink at their job And tons of kids are bullies The experienceoftraumarequirestraumatherapytoheal.Nodoubtaboutthat. Butoftenpeoplearen'tpreparedforanyotheranswer.Theydon'twantto addressthehotpinkelephantsittingintheroom “To the drawing board!” Dr Pipe screams And he searches and searches and searches some more And when he can’t come up with a reason, he blames you. Or your parents. Then you and your parents. And by session three, he’s evenblamingyourdog,Rufus “Lowself esteem,”Dr Pipeasserts,pretending hehasaclue Andjustlikethat,BobotheClownisgone He’serasedfromthe storyofyourlife Likeheneverexistedatall WE SHOULD ALL BE
TEENGRIT wwwmykindadoctorcom WELLNESSREVIEW
I'MGOINGTOTEACHYOUTOBETHEAUTHOR OFYOURLIFE ANDIFWE’REGOINGTOSTICKAROUNDAND TAKEUPSPACE,BOBOTELLSUSTHATWEHAVE TOBEPLEASINGFORMENTOLOOKAT.
He tells boys, “stop crying, your feelings don’t matter.” “Real men,’” Bobo says, “don’t talk about things like anxiety, depression, stress, sadness, fear, or suffering.” And a lot of guys sufferwhentheybelievethatstory
This is who I really am, this is my truth. Self hate is a story we are taught. We don’t hear loud drums beat a melody insisting we play small But softer tones that have been playing for a thousand years echo in our wake. We hear them being played nearly one hundred times a day On social media, in films, and in classrooms every day. But we’re told it means nothing.. That online bullying is no big deal. That filtered women and pretend happiness on instagram ‘is harmless fun ’ But it's not harmless. And it matters.
Buthe’slying.Andhedoesn’thaveaclue.
Yes, I’m still a troublemaker. Except, I don’t ruffle feathers anymore Now, I ruffle stories And I’m going to teach you to do thesame. Howtospeakyourtruth. Andhowtochallengewhatyou’vebeen taught Youwillbegintotrustyourselfenoughtosetboundaries,make peacewithyourbody,honoryouremotions,embraceyourrebel spirit,andbecomeapersonwhocanlookatthemselvesandsay:
He sells you the story of perfection: “Yes, you’re horrible,” Bobo said,“butifreadthisstoryandpracticeitlikeit’syourown,thenI willdelivertruehappinesstoyou.”
BETHEAUTHOROFYOUROWNLIFE!
WITH FELICITY JONES
SelfPortrait Exercise
Seeing is believing. Simply saying something good about yourself isn’t enough for you to believe it. This exercise, dubbed the the Reflected Best Self (RBS), was first published in The Harvard Business Review and is used by successful CEOs today. You will make a self portrait that clearly describes your talents and gifts. I call this your "Yoga Portrait," and doing this exercise will kick start your self love into action.
Yoga Portrait: Part One Describe Your Personality List your strengths. Are you creative, kind, curious, adventurous, loving? Give examples. Get Feedback from friends/family/coaches Ask: “What do you think my strengths are? Can you give an example when I used that strength?" Self-Reflect Compare your list with the list other people provided. Do you recognize any patterns?
Yoga Portrait: Part Two Write Your Story Describe yourself based on the things you listed about yourself and what others said about you. Write this out in paragraphs (not point form): " "When I am at my best, I…”. Give it your own voice Remember! No two stories are alike. I have included my self-portrait as a guide. Don't Use Point Form
Like the Chinese proverb I have tattooed across my rib cage, I learned to ‘fall seven times, stand up eight’ In medical school, failing the same thing over and over was hard It took an incredible amount of grit to get back up after being hit for the seventh time No doubt, I took some advice from Rocky Balboa “You gottabewillingtotakethehits,”Rockysays,“andnotpointingfingerssayingyou ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody.” I stopped saying I had failed my exam because of my learning difference That was amazing wisdom Itmademerealizethatmydyslexiawasn’tthereasonIfailedmyexams
It was because I was too ashamed to ask for help Once I got the accommodationsIneeded,Ipassedmyexams,everytime But, it wasn’t just about asking for help that allowed me to rise after every fall I also leveraged self compassion At first, my brain tried to talk me out of it, and I wasn’t very kind to myself. What’s the point in trying? Just quit! The trick I used was to focus on growth. I stopped thinking about the outcome. Each time I got back up; I was better at something I scored a bit higher on the exam the second time around I managed to finish it on attempt number three I felt calmer and more collected during attempt number four And by attempt number five my bounce back rate was so quick that I didn’t even flinch I just put my head down and kept studying “It’s okay,” I would tell myself: “I got you I won’t let you drown” I learned that endurance is a matter of overcoming a negative mindset but you need to find your fuel Strength and endurance aren’t born from what comes easily; they come from mastering skills you thought you couldn’t master One of the biggest characteristics Michael Jordan had during his career was the way he took “everything personal” to find motivation and beat his rivals For me, I leveraged the “I took that personal” kind of fuel I loved nothing more than peoples’ disbelief in my potential It got me to get up the second, third, fourth, and tenth times. I could have failed a million times and it didn’t matter. I was goingtogetbackup.Ihadfoundmyfuel,somyendurancewasneverending.
www.mykindadoctor.com WELL BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY
Theysaythatnotallthose whowonderarelost Andit's true Weallhaveourownjourneytofindingourway home I used to hide the fact that I have dyslexia and ADHD Now, I’m writing a book about it! I am no longer ashamed because it’s a testament to how far I have come and how muchI’vegrown It didn’t happen overnight. But with adversity comes confidence and growth Achievements themselves didn’t make me a confident person it was the mountains I had toclimbthatdid It was the tenacity I learned to muster from having to retake well over fifty failed exams It was the compassion I showed myself when my best wasn’t good enough. It was the courage I learned to draw on the first time I asked for accommodations. It was the guts it took to stand up for myself while on academic probation in medical school “I’m not deficient,” I boldly declared, “I just need another chance” The more I had to defend myself, the better I got at defending myself The more I had to speak on my behalf, the better I got at embracing thepartsofmethatpeopleinsistedwereflawed
YOGA Portrait
FINDINGMYRAISON D'ÊTRE.
I learned to stop comparing myself to other peoples’ end results because nobody is an expert from the get go Expertise is a journey that’s achieved after mistakes, failures, and disappointment. I don’t look at someone’s gourmet fondue and conclude I can’t cook. Instead, I just start stirring I remind myself that a hundred burnt risottos went up in flames before that person found their flow Idon’tlookatapublishednovelandconcludeI’man incompetent writer I tell myself that the first draft is a crapshoot ThenIsit AndIwrite AndIstir AndIwrite AndIpractice. AndIpractice. AndthenIpracticesomemore
But the best lesson I learned is one I will never forget: what appeared to be my weakness was in fact a true strength I used to hide that I have dyslexia and ADHD Now, having dyslexia and ADHD is what I love most about myself They have made me creative, empathic, light hearted, and endearingly weird. They have made me strong. And bold. And resilient. They have forced me to stand up for myself The challenges I faced as a dyslexic student with ADHD taught me more about myself than any success ever could have Overcoming these obstacles felt better than achieving a victory with no hurdles I wouldn’t give up having dyslexia and ADHD for anythingoranyone Neither law nor medicine were my purpose. Rather, growth was my M.O. I wouldn’t have flourished as quickly if I hadn’t pushed myself outside my comfort zone Law school and medical school were my discomfort zone I feed off a good challenge And I love to achieve the impossible It’s not about the JD, the MD, or any collection of letters after my name It’s what I learned about my limits and how to break those limits That was myharvest.
I learned that the current situation or event, no matter howwonderfulorterribleitis,willnotlastforever Inever allowed failure to be my end point I wasn’t stopping until I nailed the half court shot, found a place to call home, passed the Law School Admissions exam, got into medical school, and received my medical license. I failed ateachofthesethingsrepeatedly.Butmyfocuswasona destinationbeyondtheloss,thetears,theconfusion,and the sorrow: I was going to achieve my dreams or die trying This too shall pass, I tattooed across my arm It always did pass And eventually, I nailed the half court shot I learned to never be afraid of making mistakes because makingmistakesishowIgrow.Icultivatedreadingwitha bit more confidence and spelling with a lot more grace I have perfected the art of regrouping when my rocket ship doesn’t land That’s the gift dyslexia has given me; it’s an, “Oops, my bad, let me try something different,” way to live life That’s why I’m not afraid to shoot for the moon I’m not afraid to take that next shot I’m not afraid to try again. I know how to embrace my mistakes and I seetheopportunitiestheyhold.
Growthismyraisond'être
Portrait
YOGA
Takeyourtime. Focusonyourstrengths. Askpeopleyoutrustforfeedback. Beopentolearningaboutyourself. Maintainacuriousmindset. Keeptheportraitnextto yourbedandreaditevery nightbeforegoingtosleep. 6 TIPS FOR YOUR SELF-PORTRAIT
Itrustthenext chapterbecauseI knowtheauthor. @ReallyGreatSite
WELCOME TO ART CLASS
Creative Creative Wellness Wellness
JustLikeEinstein. YouareCreative.
Ateenagerfixingtheengineof hisdad’s1984Mustang Astudentwhostartsablog completingacrosswordpuzzle. Anyactivitythatcausesour neurons togroworreorganizeis creative: CREATIVITYISN'T CREATIVITYISN'T CREATIVITYISN'TRULED RULED RULED BYAGROUPOFGENIUSES. BYAGROUPOFGENIUSES. CREATIVITYIS CREATIVITYIS LIKEBREATHING: LIKEBREATHING: LIKEBREATHING: EVERYONE EVERYONEIS CREATIVE CREATIVE
JustPlopIt Adailypracticeofcreativeselfexpressionkeepsyouconnectedto theebbandflowofyourenergyand emotions.Itconnectsyoutotheart ofself-expression.Ithelpsyou embracewhateveryouarefeeling inthemoment. 3 Creative Journal 3Rules Creative Journal Rules Doiteveryday Justopenupthejournalandstart. Takeanaponceyou’redone!
Daily Journey
Creativity Challenge Create an advertisement convincing people as to why they must have this stick in their life.
Creativity Challenge Write an advertisement to sell these packages, without knowing what's in them.
He Said, She Said. I’m12yearsold.That’swhenImet him.Youknow,thatreallymean personthatsayshorriblethingsabout you?Thevoiceyou’veprobablybeen toldisyou? "Ewww,”he said, as I stood in the mirror: “ you look disgusting.” IcallhimBobo.Becausehe’satotal clown.NotaRonaldMcDonaldkindof clown. He’sthekindofclownthatgetsaway withmurder.
For years, my inner critic controlled my body against my worst fears of what someone else might be thinking. More praise. More exercise. Less food. Better clothes. There was always something more I needed to do. It doesn't have to be this way.
Here'sHowto Detangle FROMYOURINNERCRITIC Youarenotyourinnercritic.Thatvoiceisacollectionofstoriesyouwere taught.IntheInnerCriticExercise, youwillpersonifythevoicetobe someoneotherthanyou.Thisisapowerfulstepindetanglingyourselffrom thatvoice.
Challengethestorybysaying, “nope,that’salie.You’realiar.” Whatdoesyourinnercriticsayto you?Writethemdown. Nowbreathandsay:MayIbe filledwithlovingkindness. Whatdoesyourinnercriticlooklike? Whodoyoutheysoundlike? Writeabreakuplettertoyour innercritic. EXERCISE
Inner Critic
JOURNALPROMPTS Whatare3things youwanttochange aboutyourlife? Whatare5things youaregrateful fortoday? Whatisonething youwanttoletgo oftoday? Whyareyou proudofyourself today?
Spending time alone Asking for what you need Asking for help Putting yourself first Setting boundariest Taking a step back
WELL BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY YOGA www.mykindadoctor.com
Portrait
COMPASSION OVERSELF ESTEEEM
Iwasatakenaback Granted,twodayspriorIwas curledinaballcryingonmybathroomfloor ButI wasn’tsureIhadlowself esteem.AsfarasIcould tell,Ihadalotofhighself esteemqualities:Iwas assertiveinexpressingmyneedsandopinions, confidentinmyabilitytomakedecisions,andable toformsecureandhonestfriendships Besides, even if I did have low self esteem, was it something that needed to be fixed? I couldn't help wondering, how many more things about myself would i havetocureandultimatelydeny?
"As far as the studies go, " my counselor said, "there is nothing good about havinglowself esteem"
"Itsoundslikeyouhavelowselfesteem,"mycounselorsaid. It was my freshman year in college Feeling overwhelmed by the workload, I reached out and asked for help She smiled, and handed me three pamphlets of google eyed collegekidsgivingoneanotherpiggybackrides. Is thisapamphletaboutpiggybackrides?”Iasked “No,”shelaughed,“butittalksaboutlowself esteemand someofthethingsyoucanworkon”
Have you ever considered that having low self esteem is the reason someone is empathic?” I challenged. “A weakness in one thing can be a great strength for anotherthing Idon'tneedadumbstudytoprovethat Iknowit'strue"
"Self esteemdoesn'treallyworklikethat,"shesaid. "Sayswho?”Iasked “Themedicalstudies,”shesaid "Well,they'rewrong,"Iargued "Theydidn'tincludemeintheirfancystudy Ifthey had,IwouldhavetoldthemthatIhavebothtraits.ThenI'daskedthemwhatwas so awful about low self esteem I'd catch them off guard while they jot things down on their fancy clip boards and say, "hey clip board! What are the good thingsabouthavinglowself esteem?"
"I think your pamphlets suck," I said, "and these kids in the pamphlet look awfullybored:whotheheckhashighself-esteem24/7?Everyonehasboth."
“But sometimes things happen to you,” I said. Breathing a sigh of sadness, I looked up and asked, “What if you can’t unlearnwhatyoulearnedaboutyourself?”
Youhavetokeeptryingtoimprove,”shereplied. “Thatsoundslikeanexhaustingwaytolive,"Iargued “There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve,” she said “But do I need to to be a person who gives piggyback rides?Or,canIjustbeokaybeingme?”
That afternoon, I left my counselor’s office in the same state I had come in: a confused eighteen year old with bouts of low self esteem And even though I would spend the next ten years undertaking a crusade to boost my self esteem,thatday,aseedofdoubtwasplanted
It was a seed that said, "maybe you don’t have to try so hard to be better. Maybe being who you are, is enough. Maybe you have to own your low self esteem, so it doesn’townyou"
YOGA
Portrait
“But no one should want to have low self esteem in order tobeempathic,”mycounsellorreplied
You grow and learn from mistakes when you are committed to a daily practice of self-compassion
Being healthy is not about perfection It's about speaking to yourself the way you would speak to a good friend. Being nice to yourself during failure, disappointment, and suffering of any kind—that's healthy living at its core Self-compassion creates a space for you to exist that is safe, nonjudgmental, unconditional, open and accepting of all of the parts of yourself.
Self-Compassion Tips
This week Say These Self-Compassion Affirmations I'm loveable I'm enough I'm going to make mistakes. And that's okay. I don't have to earn my worth I'm worthy I'm okay
Self-Care Jar Get an empty jar Write down your favorite self-care ideas on strips of paper Whenever you ' re feeling down, stressed out, or drained – pull out a strip of paper and then do that activity
Instead of.. #SelfCompassionTips "I failed and I embarrassed myself." ..Try "I'm proud that I even tried, that took courage." "I can't make this work." " I can do this and I will do my best." "I made a mistake." "I can learn from this."
J.K. Rowling isn't poor Steve Jobs isn't fired from Apple Michael Jordan doesn't miss 9000 shots Perfection is a world where: 1. 2. 3. In a perfect world, Harry Potter isn't written, Pixar isn’t started, and Michael Jordan doesn’t succeed. Perfectionis Boring Beingperfectisboring.Becauseyoucan'tbeperfectandbe great.Youcan'tbeperfectandbeyou.Forthenextexercise, lookatapicture,ad,orpost,onsocialmedia.Grabyour journalandanswerthe7questionslistedinthechallenging perfectionismwheelonthenextpage! Dothisexercisewith afriend!
Ask these 7 questions LOOKATA SOURCEOFSOCIAL MEDIA Arethey profitingfrom myinsecurities byselling solutiontofix my“flaws.” Doesitspark bodyanxiety orfeelingsof shame? Doesitcause metoengagein self comparison? Arepeoplevalued fortheirtalents, words,personality, orappearance? Whoisadvertising here?(Lookfor ads,commercials, andproduct placement). DoIfeelbetteror worseabout myselfwhenIsee this? Whoprofitsfrom mebelievingthis message?
It’sokayto… Have bad days Be you Make mistakes Not be perfect
TRUST YOURSELF
JOURNAL Everynight,list3thingsthatyouarethankfulforabout yourbody:thankyourhandsforhelpingyoubecreative, youreyesforhelpingyousee.Thankyourbadassdance movesforhelpingyoudancelikenobodyiswatching. THE POWER OF THE PEN Lovingyourbodyisn’t easy.Butputtingpen topaperwiththese2 exerciseswillhelp.
LETTER WRITING Writealettertoyourbodyasthoughyouweretalkingtoa bestfriend.Beforeyoudivein,readthroughthe5tipsfor writinglettersinthenextsection.
4Tipsfor Writing Body Letters
First,thinkabout whatthisallcompassionate friendwouldsay toyou. 1
Thennarrowwhatpartof yourbodyyouwanttowrite to. 2
Readotherexamples. Here'saletterIwrote whenIwas15. 3
Dear Brain, I've said a lot of hurtful things about you I'm sorry for that You're pretty cool You're creative and weird and you can solve puzzles that a lot of people can't You can write with your left and right hand. I dunno why the doctor thinks that's super cool. But I figure it will be a good party trick one day.
Mom says that if I keep focusing on the things you can't do, then I miss out on all the kick ass things that make you unique She's probably right Although don't tell her I said that. Like I'm pretty sure you can probably fly a rocket ship Or be an astronaut I think you can be whatever you want to be Even though our grades don't show it Maybe one day I'll stop napping in class and actually let you get to work But I'm not making any promises Hugs.
XO ZoZo
Beas compassionate aspossible. Remember,you don'thavetobe perfect. Weaknessesare okay. Weare humanand we areall imperfect. 4
4 Tips for Writing Body Letters What would you say to a friend? Pick a body part to write a letter to. Read other examples. Be kind!
Youare meanttobe YOUAREWHERE BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
affirmation I R E L E A S E A L L N E G A T I V I T Y
CHECKLISTDaily Habits TALK TO OTHERS DO YOGA OR EXERCISE MEDITATION GET PLENTY OF SLEEP BREATHE DEEPLY CREATIVE DOODLING READ SOME BOOKS JOURNALING HOT SHOWER
TeenGrit