Temple Israel Doorpost - June 2016

June 2016

Iyar / Sivan 5776

From the Rabbi’s Study…

Recently I met with a couple contemplating marriage. The bride, of Italian descent, expressed her mother's joy and excitement over the engagement. “Mom always told me to find a nice Jewish boy. Jewish men don't drink, do drugs, gamble, or beat their wives.”

Unfortunately, this is not reality. We are subject to the same human frailties as the general population. There are Jewish alcoholics, Jewish addicts, Jewish gamblers and Jewish abusers.

So why the myth? Why do we have this sterling reputation among the general population? The answer is clear. We have become adept at burying our problems. We have become experts in the area of denial “the Shandah Factor.”

Such denial comes with a price tag. People suffer in silence feeling isolated and alone. “I must have done something wrong since there are no Jewish alcoholics, gamblers, and abusers. I must be the only one.”

It's time to the let the cat out of the bag. Addiction and abuse exist within our community. Statistically one out of every four women reading this article will have experienced some form of abuse during their lifetime. One in ten readers suffer from some form of drug addiction. One out of every four readers struggles with alcohol abuse.

Admitting that these problems exist with in our community is not a "Shandah disgrace. Denying their existence is. We cannot and should not protect the honor of our people at the expense of individuals who suffer. The myth must end.

As we approach Shavout let us pray for those who struggle with addiction. Let us ask God to provide strength and courage to those who suffer from abuse.

May those who suffer find pathways to understanding and wholeness and those who cause harm find their way to repentance and peace.

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Bat Mitzvah of Lilia Potter-Schwartz Saturday, June 4th, 9:30am, Sanctuary

TIP Community Picnic Sun., June 5th, 11:30am, Newcastle Common

Hebrew School Convocation Sunday, June 5th, 9am, Sanctuary

Musical Shabbat with Rabbi Sruli Dresdner Friday, June 10th, 7:30pm, Sanctuary

Bat Mitzvah of Abby Asch Saturday, June 11th, 9:30am, Phillips Exeter

Shavuot Services & Luncheon Sunday, June 12th, 9:30am Services 11am Yizkor (approx.), Luncheon to follow

Bat Mitzvah of Sarah Albion Saturday, June 18th, 9:30am, Sanctuary

Bar Mitzvah of Wolfe Ramsay Saturday, June 25th, 9:30am, Sanctuary

Rabbi Senter’s Office Hours Wednesday 10:00am-5:30pm Thursday

10:00am-3:00pm

Friday

9:00am-12:00pm

Sunday

9:00am-12:00pm

Continued from Page 1 May our community be a sukkat shalom, a source of support and peace for those who have suffered in silence or shame.

Chazak, you are not alone.

Resources JACS: Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependant Persons, and Significant Others 212-397-4197 Safe Harbor Recovery Center: 865 Islington St., Portsmouth, NH 877-369-0928 Shalom Task Force Domestic Violence Hotline 888-883-2323 New Hampshire 24hr Domestic Violence Hotline 866-644-3574 Journey to Safety, The Domestic Abuse Program of Jewish Family & Children's Services 1430 Main Street, Waltham, MA 02451 781-647-5327

June June June June

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3rd 10th 17th 24th

7:59pm 8:04pm 8:07pm 8:08pm

Tuesday Afternoon 5:30pm Friday Night 7:30pm Saturday Morning 9:30am Followed by Kiddush Luncheon

June Wednesday Office Hours June 1st is the final Wednesday of Hebrew School before the summer. Temple Office hours for the month of June will be revised to 10:30am-2:30pm to better reflect this change.

Bat Mitzvah of Lilia Potter-Schwartz Saturday, June 4th, Temple Israel Sanctuary My name is Lilia Potter-Schwartz. I attend Rye Junior High School. My interests are swimming, track, volleyball, baking and playing the violin. For my Bat Mitzvah Project, I am raising money to sponsor a 13 year old Kenyan girl to attend secondary school through the organization Education For All Children. I am raising money through bake sales, busking with my violin and finally by organizing a triathlon.

So far, I have raised $3,434. Judaism is important to me because I know my ancestors worked very hard to let me have a wonderful life. Judaism teaches me to create a better future for generations to come.

Bat Mitzvah of Abby Asch Saturday, June 11th, Temple Israel Sanctuary My name is Abby Asch. I attend the Cooperative Middle School in Stratham.

My interests are soccer, running and art. Judaism is important to me because I grew up practicing Jewish traditions and holidays with my family.

Bat Mitzvah of Sarah Albion Saturday, June 18th, Temple Israel Sanctuary My name is Sarah Albion and I am a 7th grader at Dover Middle School.

I like to swim, game and write, but most of all enjoy helping others. My mizvah projects have included baking for Temple functions and making cards for those in need of a cheering word. Judaism is important to me because, "It helps me and the people around me to become better people."

Bar Mitzvah of Wolfe Ramsay Saturday, June 25th, Temple Israel Sanctuary My name is Wolfe Ramsay. I attend Oyster River Middle School. My interests are soccer, basketball, football, running and drawing. Judaism is important to me because it connects me to a very fun, interesting and special community.

Judaism makes me unique because not many people are Jewish. I am lucky to carry on the tradition of this special religion/cultural identity.

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Education Time flies when you are having fun! We have had so much fun this year it is not a surprise that the year has flown by. Students are wrapping up their studies and Convocation is right around the corner on June 5th at 9am. We look forward to seeing everyone come together for this special service.

There are many people to thank for the success of the year, I cannot mention all the fantastic parents who gave their time, their effort and their wisdom in our programs. From opening day and High Holiday programming, to the “trip to Israel” we schemed for our youngest students, many parents have stepped up. Thank you to all of the bakers who made latkes, pancakes, hamantaschen and Kabbalat dinners!

Thank you to all of the drivers and escorts who helped with trips, walking tours, and carpooling so our kids get to their class. Thank you to Nancy Russman who has brought modern conversational Hebrew to our students each week. A big thanks to Rabbi Alvin and Marilyn Mars who helped in class and in school wide programming. Jody Kahn brought Tikkun Olam programming to each gradethank you! A shout out to Dr. Asch who enlightened our 6th graders, and Rachel Robie who coordinated our Passover Chocolate fundraising sale. I want to thank Meaghan Herman who created the raffle basket that brought monies to our school programs too. Margie Gruzen made books come alive for our K-2 students in the library every month- we appreciate all you do!

We couldn’t have the wonderful school we have without the teachers who bring boundless energy and fun to class. Their work in and out of the classroom is not always seen but is clear when you see the kids engaged in their learning. An armful of thanks to them all!

Another behind the scenes group is the Education Committee. These committed Temple members gather monthly to consider stimulating ideas and programming for the learning needs of our

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community. They support our school and are on hand to provide what is needed to meet the challenges of a growing Jewish kehilah. Thank you to all of the Education Committee members!

We are already working on next year’s curriculum with some exciting things coming into focus. Many of you have turned in registration forms, this helps us plan staffing and gather materials.

A thank you to Dan Hastie, our Facilities Manager who keeps our learning space safe and clean. Be sure to express your gratitude for all he does when you see him. Alissa Holmes is the glue that keeps all the pieces from falling through the cracks. She makes my job easier and supports our school with strength and gentleness. A final thank you to our Rabbi, the teacher of teachers. Our Rabbi is an accessible fount of knowledge for everyone walking through our school door. Kids and faculty approach him at every opportunity to explain the widest range of topics. His open door policy welcomes all learners, and we are blessed to have him so involved in our school.

I look forward to seeing everyone on June 5th! Come and celebrate together with your School Family!

- Noa Bourke, Head of School

Seacoast Family Promise: Successes!

Seacoast Family Promise has already helped 7 families get into stable housing in 2016. According to their just-released annual report for 2015, 87% of families remain in stable housing after exiting the program. And in 2015, SFP congregations provided 3,560 "bed nights" and 10,680 meals to families.

Thank you to all the volunteers from Temple Israel who helped make this happen – there are about 40 of us, including children and teens. If you would like to learn more or get involved, please contact Margie Wachtel at may12@comcast.net or 603-498-0473.

Our next host weeks begin June 12 and August 14.

More info about Seacoast Family Promise is on the Temple Israel website (under the Volunteer tab), and at www.sfpnh.org.

Ritual It’s hard to believe summer will soon be upon us.

Here are a few events you might want to add to your pre-summer calendar. There are two musical Friday night services coming up. On June 10th, Rabbi Sruli Dresdner joins us from Auburn, Maine. On July 1st, Cantor Nafshi will lead services. This is the first Friday night service with what will be our new start time of 6:15pm. Please join us as we usher in this new start with some festive singing! Sunday, June 12th is Shavuot and Yizkor. This year the service will be followed by a light lunch honoring those who studied or fasted in our program activities for “When a Sefer Torah Falls.” Look for more information and an evite from the office. Everyone is welcomed to attend!

Finally, this is the season for Bar and Bat Mitzvahs.

It is truly a moment of inspiration filled with nachas to see these young adults take this transformative step in their lives. Stop in on a Friday night or Shabbat morning service for one of these occasions. I think you will find it an uplifting and rewarding experience. Have a wonderful summer and enjoy!

B’Shalom, David Olken

Membership Hello from Membership! Our Spring Shabbat at Home evening was held on May 6th. About sixty people enjoyed their evenings at four homes and the Temple. This event is a wonderful way to get to know others in the community in an informal setting. Thanks to Fred and Rhoda Feldman, Barbara Levenson, Sandy and Helaine Roberts, and Amy and Brian Hyett for hosting and to Rabbi Senter for hosting the dinner at the Temple. Please join us the next time. The membership committee continues to welcome new and prospective members to the synagogue. Our committee has reviewed our materials and discussed the best way to welcome new people to our community. The result is a complete revamping of both our

membership application materials and procedures. We look forward to welcoming more new members and to planning events that will connect us all.

Sisterhood Join us at one of our many upcoming events!

SAVE THE DATE: TIP Community Picnic, Sunday, June 5th, 11:30am at New Castle Commons.

Bring the family! We hope you will consider bringing a dairy or parve dish to share. Stay tuned for more information.

Activity Group Updates: Sunday, June 26th, Book Club will meet at 1:30pm to read Guide To The Perplexed, by Dora Horn.

Contact Pat Moreinis Dodge at pat@pmid.org for information.

Questions? Email TIsisterhoodNH@yahoo.com.

Tree of Life: Have you noticed the beautiful Tree of Life in our sanctuary? Did you know it was created by one of our own congregants? Many leaves are still available. Bar or Bat Mitzvah, Wedding, New Baby… Honor the mitzvah of a loved one today. $180/each

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Who Picks up the Tab?

By Fran Berman, President I recently enjoyed a lovely lunch with Carl and my son Geoff and his family. When the bill arrived on the table at the end of the meal, there was a quick movement toward their wallets by the two men at the table. Who was going to pick up the tab? Afterward, Carl and I spent quite a while discussing the finer points of who pays when people share an experience.

Does the older treat the younger? Does the parent treat the child? Does the one who has more in the bank pick up the tab, or is it the one who earns a bigger paycheck? What about the person who initiated the event -- is it their tab to get? Then there the many subtleties in male-female interactions and dealing with the tab -- so many issues to consider.

This issue of picking up the tab got me thinking about Temple Israel. Dues are the main source of funding for our synagogue’s basic functions (covering about two-thirds of our costs). Tuition and fees for our religious school and preschool cover another quarter or so of our expenses, and the remainder is covered by donations, fundraisers, and income from our rental property. A small portion of our operating expenses is covered by income from the Operating Endowment Funds, while the Cultural and Educational Endowment Funds pay for some wonderful “extras” during the year: concerts, dinners, speakers, school field trips, guest cantors, artists in residence, and more.

So who picks up the tab? At Temple Israel, the highest membership rates are paid by families with children. Theoretically, these are people in their prime earning years, and they are utilizing the temple’s services more extensively than some other members. So it would seem reasonable that they should pick up the tab.

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However, not all families with children are equally comfortable financially. In fact, families with children are sometimes the hardest pressed financially, with few savings and high expenses. So generous donations by those with more means supplement

our dues, and we offer abatements to those who are unable to pay full dues. We are a holy community made up of a diverse group of members, and the abatement process helps us keep it that way. So in some cases, older members of means are picking up the tab for younger families who may be struggling financially. In other cases, young couples with highpaying professions pick up the tab for seniors on lower fixed incomes. Our abatement process is private and confidential -- names are never revealed.

Most synagogues around the country use a dues structure similar to ours, based on family size but with generous abatement policies. But in some shuls, dues are directly based on a family’s income rather than size, with suggested membership levels for different income ranges. In others, a base level of dues is shared equally by all members, but each pays an additional amount based on what they can afford. Some shuls have even adopted “voluntary” dues models, in which members set their own dues at a level that makes sense for them, according to their budget and their level of commitment to the temple. Interestingly enough, many synagogues find that their revenues actually increase under a voluntary dues structure.

Are the right people picking up the tab in our community? Would a different dues model work better at Temple Israel? The board discusses these matters from time to time, and we will continue to consider ways to make our synagogue even more financially stable. But for now, I believe that our mix of dues, fees, and voluntary donations, along with a generous abatement policy, results in a healthy mix of members. Thank you, everyone, for picking up the tab at Temple Israel!

Memorial Lights Remembering our dear departed is an important Jewish tradition. A beautiful way to memorialize our loved ones in perpetuity is with a plaque in our sanctuary. Memorial plaques can be reserved or ordered for $250.

Reading aloud to children, and immersing them in rich and varied language, fuels their imagination and expands their understanding of the world. Reading aloud fosters listening skills, prepares young minds for academic success, and encourages communication and intimacy. And most importantly, reading aloud, even to the very young child, can lead to a love of literature that will last a lifetime.

Our preschoolers love listening to stories, and we read aloud in class all the time! We read about Jewish holidays Laura Sher and Israel, we read about shapes and letters and numbers Director, ELC that talk. We even read about heroes, real and imaginary.

And just about everything we read teaches a Jewish (universal) value, like kindness and compassion, hospitality and caring for the world. Our stories make us happy, sometimes sad, but they always elicit discussion and unite us.

This past month the children of the Early Learning Center had a special treat, a walking field trip to the Portsmouth Public Library. Upon arrival, we were greeted by Barbara Bourgoine, Youth Services Library Assistant. She gave us a tour of the beautiful and spacious Children’s Room, and hosted a lively story hour with songs, movement, and some really funny stories! We learned that there are over 30,000 items in the children’s collections. In addition to books in print, the library has puzzles, games, magazines, audio books, and computers (a big hit with our tech savvy children)! And everywhere we turned, there were stuffed animals, large and small to read with (and of course, hug)!

This past month we also celebrated Yom HaAzma’ut, Israeli Independence Day. We painted blue and white flags, danced to Israeli music with Ellen McQueeney, and ate a delicious birthday cake in honor of Israel’s 68 years as a modern state!

We are still accepting enrollment for the 2016-17 school year. If you know of someone looking for a preschool where their child can become a curious and creative learner, have them email preschool.director@templeisraelnh.org.

Wishing you a happy and healthy month ahead!

L’Shalom, Laura

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INSTITUTIONAL OPERATING ENDOWMENT FUND Barry Siegel in memory of his mother Anna Siegel, Sheldon & Renee Goodman in memory of her mother, Bert & Deb Freedman in memory of his brother Mark Freedman, Mickey Allen, Irving Bratter in memory of his mother Sarah Bratter, Mickey Allen in memory of her husband Stanley Allen, Elaine & Shel Krasker in memory of her grandfather Samuel Shapiro, Rosilyn Steinberg & Marilyn Gorman in memory of their father Charles Gorman, Burt Wolf in memory of his mother Mollie Wolf, Claire & Barry Siegel in memory of Marlene Rubin’s brother Sydney Cantor LIBRARY FUND Barbara Fein in memory of her mother Tillie Fein, Doris Freedman in memory of her husband Max Freedman TZEDAKAH FUND Ken & Sylvia Hirshberg in memory of Maxine Fine, Goldie Fink in memory of her mother Sarah Bratter and husband Herman Fink

HEBREW SCHOOL DONATION FUND Beth Kramer Sakelarios in memory of her mother Judith Kramer, Tobey & Don Harman in memory of their daughter Danielle Harman, Ira Berlin in memory of his father Chaim Berlin, Sharon Roberts in memory of her grandmother Shirley Katz, Mitchell Manin & Joyce Bellevue in memory of their parents Milton Manin, Annette Manin and George Bellevue, Michael & Laura Rubin in memory of his grandmother and great-grandmother of his children Lillie Sorkin, Gail Bradbard in memory of Lola Sandler RABBI’S FUND Sumner Winebaum in memory of his father Harry Winebaum, Arline Coles in memory of her husband Morris Coles, Allen Linden in memory of his father Samuel Linden, Mikhail Klarov, Roberta & Leonard Baer in memory of her mother and father Gert & Sam Kline KIDDUSH FUND Nancy & Melvin Alexander in memory of Maxine Goodman Fine

PRESCHOOL DONATION FUND Tobey & Don Harman in memory of her mother Mildred Friedman, Selma Freedman in memory of her son Mark Freedman, Arnold & Naomi Fishbein in memory of Debbie Fishbein, Marcia Blacker and Cynthia Freedman in memory of their father Max Freedman, Naomi & Arnold Fishbein in memory of Marlene Rubin’s brother Sydney Cantor

Condolences to:

Bernyce Goodman, Jeff Goodman and family on the passing of daughter and sister Maxine Fine, Marlene Rubin on the passing of her brother Sydney Cantor

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June Yahrzeits:

Iyar 24 / Sivan 24

1 Samuel Klaye, David Tober

15 Allen Blum, Percy Danforth, Sarah Kurtz

2 Joseph Kernberg, Julius Applebaum

18 Jennie Sandler, James Katz, Irwin Broverman, Frieda Feldman, Bernice Salzman, Rosalind Rosenbaum

3 Fannie Sharansky 4 Goldi Saitz 5 Mildred Levy, Rose Steinberg

20 Arthur Taube, Nancy Mae Shaines, Sophie Levin

6 Mollie Fisher, Harry Portman

21 Judith Norin, Nathan Lorde, Max Bradbard

7 Gertrude Baer, Louis Pearlman, Sylvia Zack

22 Milton Rosen, Goldie Freedman

8 Moses Nannis, Morris Green, Cecelia Woolfson, Jack Grossman, Johanna Baer

23 Harry (Aaron) Olken 24 May Tetenman, Shirley Katz

9 Sandra Rosen, Abraham Alpers

25 Maurice Yoffee, Rabbi Goldin

10 Esther Liberson, Howard Kaufman

26 Hilda Dearborn

11 Israel Louis Cohen, Samuel Shapiro, Herbert Siegal

27 Ruth Levin, Irving Shoer, Harold Fluster, Stanley Allen

12 Alexander Zabin, Solomon Milechman, Abraham Kurtz, Samuel Lockman

28 Miriam Rosenberg, Shelley DelGaudio, Muriel Leavitt

13 Benjamin Cohen, Hana Haritonova, Molly Silverman, Hans Heilbronner

29 Herman Wilson

14 Joseph Wiseman, Isadore Rosenfeld, Nathan Hana

30 Philip Halprin, Theodore Lang

When you are observing a family member’s yahrzeit, please be aware that you are welcome to say Kaddish not only at the Friday night or Saturday morning service, but also at the Tuesday minyan at 5:30pm.

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Temple Israel Portsmouth Board of Directors Fran Berman, President Barney Share, Immediate Past President David Olken, VP Ritual Robert Bradbard, VP House Sam Berg, VP Education Mel Prostkoff, Recording Secretary Matthew Herman, Financial Secretary Howard Rubin, Treasurer David Bachrach, Director Sue Goldin, Director Amy Hyett, Director Stephanie Ilberg-Lamm, Director Alan Lincoln, Director Ira Schwartz, Director Jennifer Sebeny, Director

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Friday

9:00 am 9:00 am 10:30 am 9:00 am

OFFICE HOURS 200 State Street Portsmouth, NH 03801 603-436-5301

Temple Israel

- 1:00 pm - 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm - 12:00 pm