Star Trek ENTERPRISE _____
The Interview A Short Story By T.L. Shull
This short story is a fan written work and is not intended to infringe upon the copyrights of Paramount Pictures, CBS Corporation, or Pocket Books. It is provided free of charge to all fans for your enjoyment. Unauthorized copying or reproduction is prohibited. “Star Trek� is a registered trademark of Paramount Pictures and CBS Corporation.
Q Universe Central District Site of Merging of Q Galaxy and Q Galaxy
Q was bored. He had been bored for centuries; no – for millennia; no – for eons. Watching the destructive power of a dumbbell galaxy as it collided with a spiral was fun, but the species that were being wiped out didn‟t have enough potential to hold his interest. Besides, it was taking longer than he thought for the two to merge to form a new mega-galaxy. The super-massive black hole he knew would develop at its center would take quite some time and he was so … bored. He had heard that an insignificant little spiral galaxy on the outskirts of the Q Universe was beginning to show signs of activity. Unlike those doomed by the two galaxies he was observing now, this galaxy was on the other end of its existence. It was only a few billion years old and the life forms within it were only just now beginning to hop from one particle to the next, like microbes leaping from one grain of sand to another. Q said that some of the life forms were actually quite amusing. Of course Q didn‟t believe Q, he was always ready with a joke, but he was so … bored. The Continuum called the piss-ant galaxy „Q‟, not like the other galaxies they called „Q‟ – this was Q. Q Galaxy was literally in the suburbs of the Q Universe;
and in the suburbs of the Q Galaxy there was said to be some amusing activity. Q told him that several of the species that had started to move…to evolve. Some species had already become ethereal, but as with most „quick leapers‟ they weren‟t likely to exceed expectations. As a matter of fact, Q said the Organians were already becoming too full of themselves while Q said that the Nagilum were only slightly more interesting, becoming annoying, pesky brooders of the Q Galaxy – but they had become so pesky, they were forgetting to better themselves and would most likely die out within an eon or two. But Q always took a keener interest in the biological forms. They had a tougher road ahead of them. They were known as the ‘slow leapers’. They were the ones who took their time. Of course they would die out quickly if they missed the mark, but if they didn‟t, he felt that they were the ones who would jump clear out of their own galaxy and maybe, just maybe out of this prison called Q Universe by the Continuum. The Continuum had been trying for eternity to get out of Q Universe – to look and see what other universes laid outside; but long ago they had been told by the Operators that they would not be able to find the answer to move out of Q Universe until the Symbiotic Ones evolved. And so the Continuum set about Q Universe to try to find the species that would evolve…the ones that would supposedly help them find the answer to getting out of this boring hell-hole and see what else was out there.
Q wanted to be the one to find them, to help them, to assist them – without altering anything of course, The Operators put strict rules on what The Continuum could do – but just to help ease them down the road a bit. It just so happened that recently Q told Q who told Q that there were some fascinating, albeit crude, species developing in Q galaxy. And Q was so ... bored. So he gladly stopped observing the destruction of Q Galaxy into Q Galaxy and decided to travel to the suburbs to see what was up. The trip was instantaneous. He skimmed over the planets on the Q Galaxy to view the emerging species for himself: Vulcans? Too pragmatic. Oppressive even. Why deny emotion? Emotion is a core response to the flow of the universe. They deny their very fabric! NO. Tellarites? Uh…cranky little hairy things. No. Andorians? Too suspicious. They are cute though – but, no. Pakleds? Ha! Romulans? Klingons? Remans? Ocampa? Talaxians? Dinaali? Denobulans? Cardassians?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no and no. Borg? Hmmm. No, but will be interesting and maybe even a threat. Notice sent to Continuum: Galaxy Q. Borg. Observe. Fluidic space species? Quaint, but no. Changelings? Ugh – Changelings. Pathetic creatures. Need refining. No. Q was about to give up hope of finding anything remotely fun in Q Galaxy until he saw something that tripped him up. A tiny ship. A silver, tubular speck of metal departed an only slightly larger speck of dust – an infinitesimally small, blue, water-covered blip of a thing … He soared closer. Earth? Terra? He watched from afar because the Vulcans had noticed the tubular speck too. When something piques the interest of a Vulcan, Q knew there might be a spark; Vulcans only operated out of fear and jealousy, and he knew they would move in to control things.
This would be the test. Would the Terrans sit back and let Vulcan dictate them? Or did they have the capacity for independent thought – something The Operators said was a necessary ingredient for the Symbiotic Ones, for they had to be able to stand up the Continuum themselves. Q thought it was wholly impossible but he‟d give it a try. Why? Because he was so ... bored. By the time Q finished his next thought, he was amused to see that the species, who called themselves Human, had done something a little odd. Instead of rejecting Vulcan, or even becoming their subjects, the Humans were much cleverer than that. They had selected bits and pieces of advice from Vulcan and used the best parts to start their own path. They ended war. They ended poverty. They still had to get rid of economy of scale, but that would come with time – and time was something Q had in abundance. Q smirked. As Q had said, the species in this galaxy had been terribly amusing to watch, but certainly this Human species would only survive a few more centuries. It was a shame really; Q had always hoped the Symbiotic Ones would be a biological species. The very idea of it rubbed the Continuum the wrong way, and he certainly enjoyed watching the Continuum when they were rubbed the wrong way. He was just about to turn back towards Downtown – the center of the universe – when his eye
caught the flash of another ship departing the tiny blue speck. This time it moved away from its own system and started to move about the other grains that littered the droplet of its galaxy. He let several other thoughts drift through his mind and when he turned his attentions back to the little frontier ship that called itself Enterprise NX-01, he allowed himself to forget how bored he was. They were actually on the brink of forging an alliance? Multiple species gathering together? Vulcans even? Tellarites too? The most crotchety of all species in this stupid little whirl and the Humans got them to play along? They got Andorians to stay in the same room with Vulcans, let alone be close to having them agree to combine forces? Who are these Humans? He looked closer. There was definitely one who was the flashpoint for this. A strange looking thing – well, all humanoids were weird looking – but he was unique among them. He was the reason the Humans were able to persuade the others to shape-up or ship-out. Q was intrigued. His boredom dissipated and he veered in for closer inspection of the creature. He blinked in to view the bridge of the microscopic tin can. Q wanted to know more about this … this … Captain. Who is he? ***
Captain Jonathan Archer was startled awake in his bed on the NX-01 when his water polo ball fell on his head. Annoyed, he jumped up and tried to figure out what caused the ship to pitch so hard then realized that the ship hadn‟t entered any turbulence at all. He looked to the ball now rolling on the deck towards the dog bed where his beagle Porthos watched it with a tilted head of canine curiosity. Archer rubbed his forehead where the bright yellow ball had smacked it. “I must have placed it too close to the edge of the shelf last night, Porthos. The vibration from the warp core probably tipped it over.” Archer scowled when Porthos suddenly jumped up and began to growl at him. Confused by the beagle‟s reaction, Archer leaned forward and with concern said, “What did I say?” “I think it doesn‟t like you,” said a cool, male voice from behind him. Archer shot off the bed and turned in a fit of shock and fear to see a dark-haired, middle-aged man, shirtless, but obviously dressed in the same pajama bottoms as him, resting on the bed where he once lay. “Who the hell?!” he yelled loudly. Porthos began barking relentlessly at the intruder. The man smirked with annoyance at the dog. “Do you mind?” He ever-so-slightly moved his hand with a dismissive gesture and Porthos vanished from sight. Infuriated and still in fight-or-flight mode brought on by the sudden rush of adrenaline, Archer bolted for the comm button on the opposing wall. “Bridge this is the Captain! Intruder alert!”
The man didn‟t flinch and only shook his head pathetically. “They can‟t hear you. It‟s just you and me now.” Archer spun back to look at the man now sprawled out over his bed. “Who the hell are you?!” “Name‟s Q.” “Q?! What kind of a name is that?” The man obviously took offense and sat up in the bed. “Well what kind of a name is Archer? Sounds twice as dumb if you ask me...” “What are you doing here? What do you want?!” Archer looked to the now empty dent in the pillow where Porthos once rested, “and what the hell did you do with my dog?!” The man calmly stood from the bed, pursing his lips. “Tsk, tsk, tsk Captain, is your species always so defensive?” Archer was incredulous. “You just appeared in my bed, scared the living daylights out of me, made my dog vanish and you think I‟m being defensive? You haven‟t seen the beginning of defensive bub…” Archer launched himself at the man in fury but the man disappeared in a quick flash of light before Archer could reach him. Archer crashed face-first onto his bed. “Hmm...” The voice emitted from thin air. Archer spun his head in every direction, fury oozing out of his very pores. “You bullied them!” said the voice with a startled tone. Archer yelled at the air around him, “Bullied who? Who are you?!”
“I told you already you pathetic little flea: I. Am. Q.” Archer rolled his head over his shoulders then rolled his shoulders themselves trying to ease the tension that had sprung in his muscles. He jutted his jaw forward and decided to ignore the being and just get himself dressed. He moved to the drawer and pulled out his uniform, but before he could drop his pajamas, he looked down to see that he was already dressed in his uniform. He ran his hands over himself to make sure it was real. “I didn‟t really need to see you undress,” the voice said and a flash of light revealed the brown-haired man once more, except he was also dressed in an identical uniform as Archer. A thin yellow strip crossed his chest and lilted down off the shoulder of the royal blue suit and four rectangular pips shone from the right side of his chest. Archer stood still. He let his anger stew as he glared at the being who now sat on the edge of his bed. “I suppose this is how you make first contact with all new species?” Archer snarled. “Hell of a way to make an impression.” Q pursed his lips and smiled sarcastically, “I‟m not here to make an impression on you Captain. I‟m here to see what kind an impression you can make upon me.” “You do this by frightening other species? What kind an impression do you think we would make?” Archer could feel his blood pressure start to ease. If this entity wanted to harm him he likely would have done so by now. “It‟s been interesting so far: adrenaline rush, attempt to kill and now stepping back to see what I‟m
going to do next. It‟s a bit reactionary, but normal for primates,” Q replied lightly. Archer tried to put order in his head. “Who are you?” Frustrated, Q crossed his arms across his chest. “Are you deaf? I told you. I am Q.” Archer rolled his eyes. “Yes. You told me you are Q. But what is your species?” “Q.” Archer bit his lip. “Your species is Q.” “Yes.” “Do you have a name…yourself?” “Q.” Archer tried to keep himself from falling into one of Trip‟s Abbot and Costello movie routines. He took a deep breath in and spoke once more…very calmly. “Your species is Q and your name is Q?” “Yes.” Archer tried desperately to keep from rolling his eyes. “Okay then. I am Captain Jon…” “Captain Jonathan Archer of the Earth Starfleet ship Enterprise, registration number NX-01, currently en route to its home planet of Terra or Terra Prime, affectionately known as Earth. Terra…Earth…same word, two different languages. It means “dirt” or that from which they came. English lost out to the Latin in the fight over semantics but the species uses them interchangeably because those who spoke English just couldn‟t give up the fight…” Archer was actually intrigued by this odd fellow who sat so comfortably on his bed. “You seem to know an awful lot about us. What can you tell me about you?”
Q let a wry smile cross his face and he lifted a singular eyebrow. “In due course Captain. Tell me something if you would, we noticed that you had arranged for this little get together on Terra Prime, a conglomeration if you will. It involves four species from your neighborhood.” Archer let a smirk cross his lips. “The Coalition of Planets. We are on our way to sign the treaty right now.” Q stood rapidly. “Vulcans?” “Yes.” “And Andorians, together?” Q looked astounded. “How Archer? How did you do it? How did you get them to see past their stupidity?” Archer let a frustrated huff escape his chest. “It wasn‟t easy that‟s for sure. It took them a long time to see that they had more in common than differences.” “And the Tellarites? They‟re rude little hairy things. How did you get the Vulcans and the Andorians to even speak to them?” Archer smiled outright. “Tellarites only pretend to be rude. Like you, they test their neighbors by jabbing them first to see how they react.” Q pulled his head back with false disdain. “Ouch.” “I only call „em like I see „em … Q.” “You intrigue me Archer. Humanity … intrigues me,” Q said with sincerity. Archer‟s stomach turned. The entity's voice was gentle and caring, but the look in this man‟s eyes said something much, much deeper – as if the fate of the
Earth rested solely in his glare. “I‟m not so sure that‟s a good thing,” Archer replied honestly. Q smiled. “You may not be a dumb as you look. Well, I‟m off. I‟m going to watch this Coalition for awhile. See if it develops any … potential.” “Well, I can‟t say it was a pleasure meeting you. Next time you stop in, do you mind knocking first?” “You‟ll never remember anyway, so why should I care?” “Excuse me?” Archer stated, but woke up when a water polo ball struck him on the head. He sat up and looked around and watched as the bright yellow ball rolled slowly across the deck toward Porthos who stared at it with the tilted head of canine curiosity. “Hmm… “ Archer rubbed his forehead, felt to see if the ship would encounter any more turbulence, then rolled over and went back to sleep.
-Fin-