History lessons a5 pdf 2015

Star Trek HERITAGE _____

History Lessons A Short Story in Five Acts

By T.L. Shull

This short story is a fan written work and is not intended to infringe upon the copyrights of Paramount Pictures, CBS Corporation, or Pocket Books. It is provided free of charge to all fans for your enjoyment. Unauthorized copying or reproduction is prohibited. “Star Trek� is a registered trademark of Paramount Pictures and CBS Corporation.

HISTORY LESSONS A Star Trek: Heritage Exercise in Five Acts

By T.L. Shull

Character Notes: Cassidy Riker is a pivotal character in my Star Trek: Heritage series. She is the youngest of three children born to Wm. T. Riker and Deanna Troi.

She was born with a genetic defect which left her void of any of the telepathic talents exhibited by her mother and two older siblings – but more importantly – she is unable to be telepathically registered by any other telepathic species, including Betazoids. This schism between her and her telepathic and empathic relatives causes a heavy strain on her ability to communicate at a base level with them. It’s a disease that’s considered to be a severe disability on Betazed – akin to deafness in the current Human world. However – there is no “alternative” language that she can learn to reconnect with her telepathic family members as the empathic language they speak amongst themselves is biological in nature and she has no avenue to that core. It’s incurable and untreatable.

Cassidy is 13 years old in this tale. When she is 18, she defects to a Reman-led militia to the utter devastation of her family – and the United Federation of Planets.

Story Notes: This set of scenes is an exercise born from a conversation with Trek fans and gamers about how some WWII, Korean and Vietnam War Vets we know view children playing war games on PS3, Wii or on MMOs – especially “first-person shooters”- As well as those of us who still can't get their parents or aunts or uncles to talk about the battles they fought.

I felt that Riker, Troi, Picard and others of the late 24th Century Star Trek universe would be, like the Veterans of this generation, entirely humble about their roles in the pivotal battles of their time and as such, wouldn’t necessarily talk to anyone about battles past – especially if they were painful memories.

So too I believe, their humility leads itself, sometimes, to a failure to pass along key history lessons on to those who may need to learn them the most.

Some things never change…

Or will they?

This is the story of what happens when a little girl finds out her loved ones aren’t quite as perfect as she had always made them out to be – and it solidifies her very foundation.

HISTORY LESSONS PART ONE WOLF 359 U.S.S. Enterprise – NCC-1701-D

Worf, Shelby, Crusher and Data entered the bridge. Riker moved forward in anticipation but it was clear from the away team’s expressions that their news was not positive. “The Captain?” He asked.

“We were unable to retrieve him, sir,” replied Data as the others looked away in sorrow, “The Captain has been altered by the Borg.”

Riker’s face contorted with confusion and shock, “Altered?”

“He is a Borg!” barked Worf from his post at tactical.

“We’ll go back! I need more people. We’ll need to retune the phasers again. We’ll get him out of there!”

Shelby retorted as Riker tried to soak it in.

The Engineering station chirped a warning.

“Commander,” interrupted LaForge, “…reading subspace field fluctuations from within the Borg ship …looks like they’re regenerating … restoring power.

They could be capable of warp any minute.”

“Is the deflector ready?” Riker asked.

“It’s ready,” replied LaForge.

Crusher moved in. “Will…he’s alive. If we could get him back to the ship I might be able to restore…”

“This is our only chance to destroy them. If they get back into warp, our weapon is useless.” Riker said calmly and with authority.

“We’ll sabotage them again if we have to!”

Shelby offered.

“We can’t maintain power! We don’t have the time!” Riker replied then turned to Worf. “Prepare to fire.”

“At least consult with Starfleet Command.”

Shelby said smartly before addressing Worf. “Get Admiral Hansen on subspace.”

“Belay that order Lieutenant! There’s no time!”

Riker’s eyes flared in anger and Shelby pulled back, incredulous.

The tactical station panel chirped. “Sir, we’re being hailed by the Borg.” Worf stated.

Riker inhaled slightly and turned to walk to the main floor of the brightly lit bridge. “Onscreen.”

Shelby moved in along his side. All eyes turned to the view screen to see a sight more shocking than most could comprehend.

Jean-Luc Picard moved out from the darkness of the Borg ranks and as he approached, it became obvious to anyone who had witnessed it that Picard had been assimilated. Borg implants jutted from his face. His arm was encompassed by the cybernetic devices that whirred and clicked as he moved. A fire-red beam of light emitted from the implant at his temple.

He slowed to a stop and spoke, revealing that even his voice had been altered – taking on a singularly electronic resonance that quivered the eardrums of those who heard it. “I am Locutus of Borg,” he stated.

“Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been is over.

From this time forward, you will service … us.”

The tension on the bridge was more than just palpable. It hung in the air so thickly it felt like it could be touched and tasted.

Riker’s stone-cold gaze never varied, it only seemed to tighten with focus and determination. “Mister Worf,” he said calmly, “Fire.”

“Computer, freeze program!”

The image of Riker and all the others on the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise-D, as well as the image of the assimilated Picard froze instantly and remained there, immobile.

She moved in silently and stopped just in front of Riker and craned her neck to glance up at his face, utterly overwhelmed by the fierce look of resolve set in his ice-blue eyes… …eyes that matched hers in their brilliant hue.

She was taken with how young he looked. There wasn’t even a hint of grey yet at his temples or in his beard.

She turned to view at Deanna Troi sitting in the Counselor’s chair – her black-eyed gaze transfixed upon Riker with worry and concern. She was also taken by how young Troi appeared. Her long chocolate-brown hair was pulled back and away from her soft-featured face. Even with her look of concern, it was obvious to anyone who may have looked upon Troi that she felt Riker was making the best-possible decision…

… the decision to fire upon his former commanding officer in an effort to destroy the Borg ship threatening Earth and the Federation.

She turned quickly to look at the one face that shocked her most: His eyes looked like they held the deepest most profound sadness, but she guessed she might have been placing an emotion where none may have existed, for his voice had been nothing but cold and uncaring.

Jean-Luc Picard stood there, calling himself Locutus.

There was nothing of her surrogate grandfather in his eyes; nothing of the sweet, affable man in the voice and nothing of the man she loved contained within the cybernetic prison in which he was held.

Thirteen year-old Cassidy Riker stood in the middle of the bridge, just in front of the holographic projection of her father completely and wholly dazed by the scene that was unfolding in front of her. She ripped her eyes from the jarring image of Locutus on the viewscreen and forced herself to turn towards the back of the bridge. There, her eyes met those of her sometimes tutor and her full-time mentor, Commander Tuvok, the First Officer of U.S.S. Titan. “Why?” she asked softly and with a wave of horror as it began to drift through her. “Why didn’t they tell us?”

Tuvok walked around the holographic Worf that was leaning over the tactical panel, his finger hovering over the interface. Tuvok pressed his lips together as he

formulated a response that she might be able to comprehend. His dark skin complimented the thin, red band at his neck, bearing the three gold pips of his rank.

His expression may have appeared stern to those who did not know him, but Cassidy was raised with Tuvok and knew that his expression was actually borne of concern and perhaps a bit of confusion. “I do not know Cassidy,” he said as he walked down the ramp of the bridge of the Enterprise-D. “Humans have a tendency to withhold certain facts about their past lives, especially moments that might be somewhat traumatic, in an effort to protect their young from observing painful stimuli. I have found this to be especially true with matters involving battles and conflicts in which they directly involved.”

“You mean they didn’t want us to know?” Her eyes looked up to those of her father’s holographic face once more, simply awestruck by the intensity of his focus on image of Locutus on the screen in front of him.

Tuvok’s scowl deepened. “I don’t believe they intentionally withheld this information but I do believe that they, like many other emotionally based species, chose not to make their actions in historical moments a topic of discussion, whether it was due to humility, pain or grief or an effort to keep their children from the burden of that knowledge.”

“Pain or grief? Burden?” Cassidy wondered aloud, “I don’t understand.”

“You will shortly,” he said. “Computer, remain in objective mode and continue program.”

Cassidy moved out of the way of the holographic Riker and took a stance next to Tuvok and they moved

toward the ready room door to monitor the holographic history lesson.

Tuvok turned his head down to look at his student and watched her carefully as she observed the situation. The deflector shield had powered up and the impromptu weapon had fired, but it left the Borg Cube undamaged.

Cassidy gasped audibly when she heard Locutus tell her father that everything that Picard had known the Borg now knew and they had prepared themselves for the weapon’s discharge, rendering it useless. Locutus had even called her father “Number One” in a clinical and seemingly sarcastic tone.

She returned her gaze to Tuvok when the Borg Cube left the Enterprise adrift and resumed its course for Earth. “Computer, freeze program.”

Once again the images of her parents froze in place and she leaned against the wall of the bridge, just beginning to understand the ramifications of the Borg’s departure towards Earth - and her father’s inability to chase after the enemy vessel.

She glanced back up to the dark and serious eyes of her Vulcan teacher. “Uncle Tuvok?” she sighed, “Why are you showing me this program instead of Aunt T’Pel? She’s my real teacher.”

Tuvok nodded knowingly, “T’Pel asked me to be the one to go through this history lesson with you due to my personal experiences with the Borg in the Delta Quadrant. She felt that any question you might have would be best answered by someone who had more than third-party instruction.” Cassidy looked to him with some confusion. “Remember when you and your sister

Elizabeth were caught in the holodeck with the Vulcan developed Borg training program?” he asked.

Cassidy cringed with the memory. “I had never seen Dad like that before. He didn’t speak to us for three days. He never really did talk to us about it.”

“You see Cassidy, you and your sister were playing a game with your father’s most formidable enemy and never realized it. You didn’t really comprehend the devastation the Borg caused upon the Federation, Captain Picard, me or your parents. While teaching you about the Borg is part of your history requirements, T’Pel was concerned that you and your siblings would react to it differently based upon the fact that your parents and many of your elders were directly involved, especially Captain Picard.”

“How did they get Grampa back?” she asked.

“First, T’Pel and I both believe it’s important for you to see what happened at Wolf 359.”

“That’s where the Federation fleet met the Borg, wasn’t it?” she asked. “The massacre?”

He nodded weakly. “If you decide to enter Starfleet Academy, you will be forced to observe this battle from the bridges of three vessels that partook in it.

However, I think it’s better for you to see it, the same way your parents viewed it when they arrived.

“You have to understand, at the next point in the program, your father had received a field promotion to Captain and the Enterprise was under his command. He made Commander Shelby his First Officer. They had made the requisite repairs and had arrived at the coordinates at Wolf 359 several hours after the battle.”

Tuvok peered down to her with the expression Cassidy had come to know as the ‘Vulcan Curiously Concerned Look.’ “It’s very important for you to tell me if something you see begins to bother you. I do not want your mother to be too angry with our decision to proceed with this lesson.”

Cassidy shot him a look of disbelief. “You mean she doesn’t know you’re doing this?”

Tuvok exhaled, “She knows that this lesson is part of your curriculum, however she was not made aware that it involved the use of the holodeck historical program that included the recreation of the actual ship records. Both T’Pel and I believe that you and your siblings need to see it like all of your other counterparts.

Just because your loved ones are involved should not preclude you from the taking the same courses as your classmates on other Federation ships; just because you attend a school with only three students does not change your required courses. Then again, few students see their parents as part of their curricula,” he stated. “Computer, advance to time index Stardate 44002.3. Begin sequence after the Guinan departs the Captain’s Ready Room.”

The bridge altered in appearance - Ensign Crusher was still at the helm and Data was at Ops. Commander Shelby sat in the XO’s chair but the view of her young mother dissipated from the bridge altogether.

“Who’s Guinan?” Cassidy asked.

Tuvok cocked an eyebrow. “Your parents never spoke of Guinan?”

She shook her head. “I’ve heard them talk about a person with that name, but they’ve never talked to me about him.”

“Her,” he corrected and pursed his lips again. “It is possible they have a reason for not discussing her with you just yet. I will not assume one way or the other…you should ask them directly.”

“Okay,” she responded. Her curiosity raged when a dark-skinned woman in unusual clothing and hat left the ready room. “Is that her?” she inquired.

Tuvok nodded. “Yes. She leaves directly. Now pay attention.”

Cassidy shrugged and she heard Wesley Crusher speak from his station at the helm. To her, he seemed only a few years older than herself. “We’re now approaching the Wolf system Captain,” he said.

“On my way,” she heard her father’s voice over the comm system.

Within moments he appeared on the bridge and passed directly in front of Tuvok and her, calmly walking to his place at the command chair. After seeing him all morning, Cassidy had become accustomed to his youth and the three gold pips at his collar. To see him with the four pips now seemed more comforting to her.

“Slow to impulse.” He ordered as he sat, “Take us to the battle coordinates Mr. Crusher. Yellow alert.”

Worf addressed him. “Sensors are picking up several vessels Captain.”

“The Fleet?” he asked.

“No active subspace fields … negligible power readings,” Data replied.

“Life signs?”

“Negative sir.”

“Visual contact,” stated Worf.

“Onscreen,” Riker stated and all eyes shot up to the view screen ahead of them.

Cassidy’s reaction was an amalgam of mistrust, confusion, awe, fear and shock. …there before her; before all of them, were the carcasses of Federation starships strewn about the area.

The Enterprise flew between them and Cassidy watched the look of devastation as it crossed her father’s face. He stood from his chair instinctively as he tried to soak in the scope of the destruction that lay before them.

Cassidy reached for Tuvok’s hand and grabbed it tightly. He gave her a reassuring tug. “Is it too difficult for you?”

She shook her head, not because she was sure it wasn’t affecting her, but because she couldn’t pull her eyes away from her father’s face and his broken façade.

Commander Shelby rose from her chair and looked to the charred vessels as they passed. “The Tolstoy…the Kyushu…the Melbourne.”

Her father’s face softened with deep-seeded pain.

What was it about the Melbourne that broke him?

She wondered.

The ship continued to glide past dozens of ships, all dead in the vast space outside the Wolf system.

Cassidy glanced back to the screen only to look upon the floating dead ruin of a Galaxy-class vessel. It was only then that she realized that thousands had died.

Thousands of men, women and, in some cases like the Galaxy-class ship, children had all died.

Her legs began to shake when she realized who was on the Borg cube that had destroyed all those ships.

“Grampa...” she whimpered in shock and pain.

“Computer, end program!” Tuvok barked and turned quickly to drop to Cassidy’s eye level. The holodeck reverted to the large room filled with holoemitters as their glow diminished. “This… this is why T’Pel wanted me here.”

Cassidy connected her eyes to the gentle dark brown eyes of Tuvok, trying to find a center. She felt like the whole deckplate was pulled out from underneath her. “He killed them…” she said quietly, “You mean …

Grampa killed them?”

“No Cassidy. They took everything from Captain Picard and made him into something else…what killed those people was a Borg named Locutus…not Captain Picard.”

She heard the words but she was having a hard time understanding them. Her face filled with fear and sadness and shock. “But, but Locutus was Grampa,” she said shaking her head with confusion. “Did he really do that? There were Galaxy-class ships…” Her face paled.

“There were children. There were families…” Her nostrils flared as she fought back the anger and the tears.

“He killed them.”

“Cassidy,” Tuvok said sternly, “you must listen to me. Look at me.” He forced her to look him in the eye once more.“I have also lived through the time of the Borg and you must know that Captain Picard would never have done that. He fought them with every fiber in

his being to keep them from assimilating him. But that’s what Borg do…they take away the individual. He was made a part of the collective and no longer had a choice in his actions. His actions were only part of the greater Borg mind…they all killed them Cassidy. The Borg killed them. It was the Borg.”

Cassidy swallowed hard, trying to believe Tuvok.

“How did he get back?” she asked.

“Your father’s team kidnapped him from the Borg cube before they reached Earth. It was Captain Picard himself who managed to get a message to Commander Data and gave him the idea to input a command into the Borg subroutines causing them to enter into a regenerative state before they were due. It triggered a feedback loop causing the Cube to selfdestruct before they had a chance to assimilate Earth.

Your father is a true hero as is Captain Picard. In a sense Captain Picard helped save Earth by fighting so hard against the Borg collective. Cassidy … it is very important you understand that Captain Picard was not the one who hurt those people.”

Cassidy nodded and Tuvok stood, grabbing her shoulder supportively … … but she was not convinced.

History, it seemed, was a scarier subject than she had ever imagined.

PART TWO ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER

Chapter Notes: Cassidy analyzes her Wolf 359 lesson and receives a surprise visit…

U.S.S. Titan – NCC-80102 The level of her own anger surprised her. It had been roiling since her lesson with Tuvok three days before.

Her mother and father had attempted to talk to her about it, but she wanted nothing to do with them right now. Her brother and sister had been talking to them ad nauseum about the Wolf 359 program and they seemed to think everything was going to be all right.

She thought her family was crazy. How could everything be alright? Grampa murdered thousands of people… how could they just flippantly accept that he wasn’t at least partially himself when he had been on the Borg ship? It all just seemed too hard to believe.

She had always been the skeptic of the family… always had been the one to question what others would blindly take as the truth. Her father understood that about her… most of the time. Her mother never understood it at all. Her mother’s fawning over her after the shocking revelations of the historical program only seemed to increase her bitterness over the fact that her parents never told her on their own. They had withheld the

information about Grandfather’s assimilation and their own involvement with the attempts to stop the Borg as a means to “protect her.”

Cassidy was sick of being protected. She hated not knowing the real truth. She hated having information withheld from her. At times she felt as though her own parents didn’t trust her enough to handle it.

And that’s what really made her angry.

So when her mother came into her room for the third time in an attempt to talk to her about the traumatic events that had unfolded before her on the holodeck, Cassidy had flared uncontrollably, and maybe even a little unfairly, trying to force some sense of the pain she was feeling right back at her.

“Cassidy,” her mother offered gently.

“Get out,” she stated coldly. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“But I want to talk,” Troi replied.

“Oh sure, now you want to talk! You should have talked to me beforehand! I should have known before I saw the program! I should have known a long time ago!”

Deanna swallowed with sorrow as she sat on her daughter’s bed. “You’re right, your father and I just weren’t sure when the right time would be…”

“Oh please…”

“Really!” Deanna tried to appeal to her youngest child, reaching out for her mentally, knowing that she would still receive no feedback from her mind, it was still a habit she sought. It drove Deanna crazy not to know her child’s innermost feelings like she could sense from everyone else on the ship. “It was a horrible time

Cassidy! You love your grandfather and for you to have thought…”

Cassidy stood from her bed, her eyes wide with rage. “I said get out,” her voice cool once again, in contrast to the hatred that flowed from her aqua-blue eyes. “You had your chance,” she hissed.

“Cassidy…”

“GET OUT!” she screamed.

She stayed in her room the entire weekend, refusing to come out except to grab food from the replicator in the living quarters and she was always happy to see it empty when she ventured there.

Her parents were busy dealing with some new crisis on the bridge and were rarely around. Her sister was busy studying and her brother had been off doing deities knew what. She had been left alone and she liked it that way.

No one had been able to console heart. No one had attempted to break through to her – until the fourth night after the lesson when she had locked herself back in her room after her parents had retreated from the bridge.

It was her father who had finally blown the seal.

He overrode the lock on her door and walked in.

Cassidy, half in shock and half in rage stood from a mountain of PADDs strewn about her bed.

Riker stopped as he grabbed one of the PADDs, then realized they were all historical documents and service records. He picked up another PADD to see that it outlined the service record of Deanna Troi. Another revealed the service record of Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

He dropped his shoulders in defeat as he looked to see that the PADD in Cassidy’s hands displayed the testimony for the hearings pertaining to the inquisition into the destruction of the U.S.S. Pegasus.

He visibly deflated before his youngest child. “I see you’re finally beginning to realize that we’re all fallible,” he said softly.

Cassidy’s face contorted with pain and she whispered with horror, “You? You killed innocent people too?”

Riker froze, not knowing how to reply. His eyes broke their contact from hers and she choked from the horror of his unspoken admission. She threw the PADD on her bed and ran from her room.

“Cassidy!” he yelled after her.

“Leave me alone!” she cried, her voice fading as she escaped the living quarters to hide. She threw her combadge on the corridor floor, knowing that since no telepath could sense her presence, she could hide in the lower Jefferies tubes for hours before being located by anyone.

There she sat and cried uncontrollably.

Her father was not the hero she thought he was.

No one was.

She had withdrawn from her family for the next few days, never speaking to any of them and refusing to discuss anything about the incident or her feelings with anyone, not even Tuvok and T’Pel. She continued to read everything she could.

There were mounds of history about her parents and grandfather that she had never known – Captain’s logs, personal logs, testimony and years and years of data, all

so she could get the real information on her own instead of waiting for someone else to tell her.

She was lying on her bed when the doorbell rang.

No one ever rang the bell to her room. Her father would have simply overridden the locks if he was angry and her mother would have respected her wishes to be left alone. Her sister and brother would have knocked their secret code on the door. She surmised it was her teacher, T’Pel. Cassidy sat up with tension and curiosity.

“Come,” she said softly.

The door opened and in walked Captain Jean-Luc Picard. “May I speak with you?” he asked gently.

The electric shock of adrenaline shot through her body so quickly it was actually painful. His eyes were filled with deep sadness and something else she couldn’t quite make out. Only after he took a deep breath did Cassidy realize it was actually fear.

She didn’t know what to think. Her first instinct was to run. Her second was to attack him and hurt him – to hit him so hard he would be crushed by her rage. Her third was to scream horrible and hateful words to him, to let him know how deeply he had hurt her.

Her body began to tremble uncontrollably as the rage melded with her sadness and her eyes began to glisten but she choked back her tears. It all wound itself up so tight she did nothing but fall back seated on her bed and she glared at him, refusing to cry.

Picard made no attempt to move toward her for fear of causing her even more grief. He only slowly sat in the chair opposing the young girl’s PADD-covered bed. Every PADD contained logs of the Enterprise-D, or

E or the Pegasus hearings or the court-martial after the Stargazer loss. There were snippets of logs from missions he hadn’t thought of in years. His own heart began to lag when he saw that she had been reading the incident involving the Borg named Hugh and the logs pertaining to Captain Jellico’s distaste for her father’s insubordination, leading Jellico to relieve him of his duties.

Clearly Cassidy had been studying hard.

Picard knew it was a lost cause now. She was prepared to dissect them all. He was sure of it.

He actually admired her for it. She had been burned and was no longer taking anyone’s word for what was true anymore. She was going to make up her own mind based on all the evidence provided to her.

Evidence she had to gather for herself.

He wished he had been able to get here sooner but his own ship was two days away when he had spoken to Riker. Deanna had been devastated by Cassidy’s passionate reaction to the Wolf 359 lesson. All of them were feeling horribly guilty that they hadn’t informed the children about it before. He now realized how wrong it had been; so had Riker and Deanna.

Although Beth and Bill were injured, they were more amenable to discussing their feelings with Deanna and Riker. He had received subspace calls from both of them and they talked about his assimilation by the Borg; but he knew something was horribly wrong when he asked Riker about why Cassidy hadn’t approached him as well.

Riker had broken his eye contact with him and sighed heavily. “She’s not speaking to anyone Jean-Luc.

She hasn’t come out of her room for two days now and won’t talk to Deanna, me or even Beth or Bill.”

Picard felt stabbed. “She blames me.”

“She blames all three of us.” Riker replied. “And she has a right to be angry at all three of us I think.”

Picard nodded with concurrence. “Indeed.”

“We’re hoping once she has a little time to cool down that she’ll be more receptive to talking about it…”

Picard shook his head. “No Will. It’ll only make things worse, trust me.”

Riker scowled, “Oh? How so?”

Picard tried to muster a sarcastic smile. “Because Will, she’s just like me. If given an opportunity to bury it, I will… and so will she – to everyone’s detriment I’m afraid.”

Riker closed his eyes. “Maybe you’re right. But she’s more than just stubborn Jean-Luc, she’ll rip the skin right off of us if we attempt to go near her.”

“I’m coming.”

Riker rolled his eyes. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am serious. We’ll be there in 48 hours.”

“Captain – why don’t you just contact her by subspace.”

“Because she’ll refuse the call.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I would,” he replied.

“You can’t break the Enterprise away just to come make nice to a thirteen year old girl Jean-Luc.” “I can if she’s my granddaughter who needs to ask her grandfather why he killed eleven thousand people, Will. The Enterprise’s presence at a quasar can wait awhile. This is much more important.”

“You didn’t kill eleven thousand people JeanLuc.” Picard saddened visibly, “Cassidy doesn’t understand that.”

Riker shook his head with utter sadness, “No, she doesn’t.” He sighed heavily. “Well, I can’t say it wouldn’t be good to see you.”

“We’re on our way. Picard out.”

PART THREE AND NOW? … THE PEGASUS

Chapter Notes: Picard visits and finds that Cassidy has been doing her homework...

Now here Picard sat across from the real victim of their decisions to try to protect her.

Her black hair glowed against the perfect pale porcelain of her skin. Her bright, intoxicating and piercing blue-white eyes were reddened with emotion but she had yet to release a single tear that he knew were waiting behind a wall of rage she had built up.

I’ve done it again. He thought. I’ve ruined yet another life. She hates her own parents because of me…

She buried her face in her hands, trying desperately to hide her weakness in front of him, angry that she had to fight her own emotion instead of standing up to him and proving to him that she was stronger. She tried to keep herself from seeking something to throw at him and when her eyes searched her room for any such item she briefly caught his expression of sorrow, guilt and despair. It ripped her apart even more.

She stood quickly and moved into him, lifting her hand as if to strike him hard across his face.

He didn’t even flinch - anticipating her assault, but it never came.

His refusal to defend himself had infuriated her even more and she had dropped her hand in defeat, spinning away from him with an incensed grunt.

His expression never wavered. He still looked upon her with sorrow and guilt. It made her desire to cry spike even more. She fell back onto her bed in shock.

She was still a shambles of emotions – rage, anger, guilt, sadness, fear and grief turned her inside out but most of all she sat in disbelief… disbelief he was actually sitting in front of her; disbelief that the Enterprise was now sitting adjacent to the Titan because of her; disbelief that her parents had told him. Her anger boiled up once more.

“I can’t believe they had the audacity to ask you to come.” she grunted.

“They didn’t” he replied. “I came on my own.”

She sneered, “Why?” “You deserved to hear it from the horse’s mouth.

You deserve the opportunity to direct your anger at the person who deserves it most… me.”

Her guts tied themselves in knots and she forced herself to keep from attacking him. He saw it and didn’t move, fully expecting her to move into to strike him. Yet she found the control to refrain.

Again he saw the power she was able to wield over her own rage.

“How could you?” she asked. “Why didn’t you tell me? How come you kept it secret from me all this time?”

Picard only sat quietly, knowing that any answer he many have tried to offer would have been shot down before it had a chance to be heard. He had known Cassidy long enough to know her… she was too much like him. She was setting him up for the slaughter, positioning herself to cut him down. She had stewed over everything for days now and had developed her

hypothesis and gathered all the evidence she required to render judgment without his testimony.

Yet here he was to provide it nonetheless. He wanted her to find the avenue to release that anger and had silently wished she had struck him – it may have provided them both with that catalyst.

But she, like him, took the high road and sometimes the high road meant continued pain and manipulation to get to the bottom of things.

If he didn’t find a way for her to release that anger they would all lose her, forever.

He respected her enough to acknowledge her right to be angry.

He stayed silent.

Cassidy took three distinct deep breaths. Picard hadn’t answered her and she was disappointed. She wanted to yell at him. She wanted to tell him that nothing he could say would have been okay enough to warrant forgiveness.

It was only at that moment she realized that he knew precisely that.

He wasn’t asking for forgiveness.

He was deferring to her anger and he almost seemed to take satisfaction in her feeling that way. He was accepting of her rage and he seemed willing to accept whatever penance she saw fit to bestow on him without once offering an explanation. Her mouth dropped open, “You really did? You really did kill them all?”

Picard raised his hand and gently touched his forehead, then his lips. “It’s not that I killed them Cassidy, it’s that I didn’t stop them from being killed.”

Cassidy’s intense glare bored into him. If he didn’t know any better he would have sworn he was being scanned by the most invasive device ever created.

There wasn’t an organ in his body that didn’t feel some kind of palpable heat under the incredible steel-blue of her infuriated and tortured gaze.

“It’s that I couldn’t stop them. I was a part of their collective and I knew what they were going to do before they even did it. I was connected and I couldn’t stop them.”

She stood from her bed and slowly moved toward him, never once breaking her powerful stare at him, never letting him look away from her. She was going to test him and test his ability to tell her the truth. So far she had held out hope he was. He had not denied his involvement. “What did you mean you couldn’t stop them?”

“I mean just that. The Borg had me but I still held on to a part of me somehow. I could still see everything …” He finally broke his eye contact with her and she could tell he was re-living a very potent memory – a very painful memory. “I saw everything. I tried to stop them but I couldn’t. I tried… I tried…” His face contorted with misery. “…but I wasn’t strong enough.”

It was nothing but the complete and utter truth and she knew it. His pain was still fresh. His anguish and his guilt were intensely cohesive parts of him and she realized what she was seeing was the outward expression of the thin substrata of sadness he had always carried with him …but she had never been able to mine its source before.

Until now.

Suddenly things began to gel. Her thoughts began to clear and her rage began to subside. Her comprehension of his predicament and the depth of his pain were there, all laid out before her and she stepped back and turned away slightly. “I believe you,” she said softly. “I believe you tried.”

Picard’s eyes closed with the relief of it, too sore to say anything, confessions were never easy for him and confessing to a thirteen-year old was rather humiliating, but she was someone he loved and he needed to be loved by her in return. It was then he allowed a tear to drop from his eye.

Cassidy saw it. She saw him break and it shook her. “I’m still mad you didn’t tell me before hand. I’m still mad you didn’t tell me about a lot of things. But I believe you tried to stop the Borg. I believe you tried to save those families.”

He nodded weakly. “I did.” he said softly, “And you have every right to be mad for not telling you. It was wrong. Even if we meant well, it was wrong.”

There it was – the admission from the culprit himself.

“I don’t expect your forgiveness Cassidy. Just know that I am sorry.”

“Why? Why didn’t you trust me?” she asked, “Why couldn’t you trust that I was smart enough to handle the truth?”

Picard’s eyes flew wide with the revelation. “Do you think that’s why we didn’t tell you? Because we didn’t trust that you could handle it?”

“Why else?” she growled. “Did you really think we wouldn’t find out? It was a history lesson! A school

project! Kids younger than me knew all about it, but I didn’t! I had to learn it in school?!”

Picard gazed to the floor. “Of course I knew you would find out. I always thought and I’d always hoped I would be the one to tell you about the Borg and my assimilation…” He sighed and looked off into the nothingness of the air behind her. She watched him intently. “But I guess we allowed ourselves to be deceived by the passage of time.”

She pursed her lips with disdain. “What do you mean by that?”

Picard leaned back in his chair and allowed himself to look over the girl, the closest thing he would have to a real granddaughter. She would have Deanna’s petite stature, unlike her other two siblings who had inherited their father’s height, but Cassidy’s facial features were that of Will’s. Her brilliant blue eyes were her most striking, and sometimes her most unsettling, attribute.

Picard now found himself once again disquieted by her intense, surgical and burning gaze.

She was going to be a singularly beautiful woman and one of the strongest people he had ever known.

“I meant that we were stupid,” he said bluntly.

“We allowed ourselves to think that if we treated you like children, you would never grow up.” He nodded when he saw her face contort with frustration. “You’re right Cassidy, of course. We can’t stop that and we never really had the chance. One day you may realize how we tend to want to keep our children young, for it’s in their youth we find a tether back to our own.”

Cassidy thought this was one of the most honest statements she had ever heard an adult utter.

She could understand the selfish reasons, and for her surrogate grandfather to admit to them again seemed truthful and real. She knew then he really had come on his own, not to seek forgiveness, but to do something much more respectful… to allow her the opportunity to make that decision for herself.

He was, without a doubt, treating her as an adult for the first time in their relationship… and she liked it.

It felt right.

She nodded without responding to him and broke her gaze. “Now… I need your help.”

Picard was shaken by her statement. “You need my help?” he whispered.

“I read about the Pegasus,” she said.

“I know,” he replied.

“Did father tell you?”

Picard nodded weakly. “He did.”

Cassidy swallowed and drifted her eyes to her surrogate grandfather. “I don’t know how to feel.”

“I can’t tell you that,” he said, “that is a discussion you must have with him, not me.” Cassidy scowled and Picard finally let loose a knowing smile. “You owe him the same opportunity to explain himself as you have done with me.”

She frowned and looked to the floor. “Maybe…”

“No. You do. He’s a good man Cassidy. A noble man. He deserves the same respect.”

“What he did was so wrong…”

“Cassidy… how I feel about your father’s actions when he was an ensign are immaterial. You must speak to him.”

“You forgave him though… you kept him as your XO?” “I did. I did because he ultimately made the right choice when it mattered.”

“Yeah, I read that too.”

“The let him testify for himself.”

Cassidy tried to smirk. “I have been judgmental, haven’t I?” she asked with a layer of guilt.

“Come here.” He extended his arms and she moved in to him. He pulled her head to his shoulder and stroked the satin of her hair. His sense of relief that she still thought enough of him to allow her to be held was powerful. “Cassidy, I won’t lie. Yes, you’ve been extremely judgmental but… with good reason I think.

We’ve made some awfully stupid mistakes and you became the victim of our good intentions. You were placed into a position of mistrusting us… mistrusting me. I was saddened by that. I don’t think I would ever forgive myself if you didn’t trust me.” She lifted her head from his shoulder and they connected eyes once more. “Really,” he confirmed, “but you had a right in this instance to be judgmental. You had a solid right to be angry. I will work very hard to build that trust with you again but you have to promise me one thing.”

She scowled as she looked at him again. “What?”

“You have to promise me that you will also treat me like an adult and come directly to me when you have a question or a problem. I deserve at least that much… and so do your parents.”

Cassidy was still sore but she nodded weakly in agreement. “I’m sorry for making you bring the Enterprise all the way out here. I didn’t mean for you…”

“That was my choice,” he interrupted. “You’re my granddaughter Cassidy and if I’m given the opportunity to charge across the galaxy to be with you…

I will.”

Cassidy felt the mounds of anger start to fall away but she began to tremble slightly as the squelched emotion was now finding the cracks she had revealed.

She let a single tear escape from her eyes as she rested her head on his shoulder. She reached for his soft cheek and stroked it and she tried her hardest to keep from letting the sadness wash over her. “I’m sorry," she whispered in pain. "I'm so sorry the Borg did that to you Grampa,” she whimpered weakly. “No one deserved that.”

“You’re right. No one deserved to be hurt by them. Yet they did hurt me and they hurt and killed many, many people," he said gently as he stroked the softness of her hair and held her head tight to his shoulder. "In some ways they hurt you too.”

She wrapped her arm around his neck and squeezed him tightly and finally broke into uncontrolled sobs in his caring arms.

PART FOUR A WOMAN WITH A FUNNY HAT

Chapter Notes: Still unable to resolve her feelings over her father's actions on the U.S.S. Pegasus in her mind, Cassidy seeks solace in a chocolate sundae.

STARBASE 214 Main Lounge Cassidy sat in front of an untouched chocolate sundae resting on the table in the crowded lounge on Starbase 214. Her brother and sister had run off to watch a bat’leth tournament and her parents were busy meeting with the Starbase Commander.

She had promised her parents she would remain in the lounge under the watchful eye of the Titan’s Security Chief, her Uncle Ranul Keru, but she was beginning to regret that promise. The noise level of the room was close to approaching a din and she had tried everything she could to find the quiet in her own mind… a mind still full of sorrow and pain brought on by her recent revelations.

It had been just over two weeks since Captain Picard had come to visit her. She had tried to speak to her father on several occasions but always pulled away right before making the overture.

Of course, he had also attempted to speak with her. Almost every day he would try to approach her and

get her to open up to him or to her mother… but she was still too raw.

She had thrown herself into her studies, which were always a comfort, and the history lessons were becoming less and less traumatic. Cassidy had already read as much as she could possibly take in about her parents and Picard. She hoped there would be no more surprises.

The time since her discussion with Picard had allowed her to analyze his assimilation by the Borg more clearly, without the emotional baggage she had initially attached to it and she realized how victimized he had actually been. She had imagined herself in his shoes and although the visions were terrifying, she began to understand why people took him back into their lives. He hadn’t been the one to kill all those people at Wolf 359, the Borg collective had.

Her relationship with her mother seemed to fall right back into its former complacency and underlying tension. Her mother apologized for the lack of foresight and holding back such vital information. Cassidy could not deny her mother’s true sorrow for the error and she took it for what it was worth, but her mother still had a bad habit of reaching out for her telepathically, then being visibly disappointed when Cassidy didn’t respond.

Worse yet, for some reason her mother was beginning to exhibit signs of surprise when Cassidy approached her from behind again.

It was a problem Deanna had when Cassidy was little, and one that Cassidy thought she had overcome.

Now, if Cassidy accidentally surprised her, Deanna’s reaction was more than just surprise, there was a built-in

layer of agitation with it and Cassidy was becoming increasingly annoyed by it. Cassidy now sarcastically announced her presence every time she walked into a room in which her mother was present and it only added to their building resentment towards one another.

Cassidy was convinced she and her mother would never get along.

But Cassidy’s relationship with her father had never suffered before … until now.

She had never been put into a position where she felt like he had lied to her, and although technically he really hadn’t, she felt like he had.

Picard had told her that he deserved the opportunity to speak for himself – but what could he say that he hadn’t already testified to in the inquiry regarding the Pegasus? After all, he had sworn under oath that his testimony was true, and indeed he admitted that he knew that the initial experiments on the interphase cloaking device were against the law, but he had done nothing to stop them.

He never told anyone.

Even worse, when his shipmates finally had enough of the illegal activities and they tried to stop the captain themselves, her father stood up to them and protected the captain and then abandoned the ship with him and seven others, leaving more than seventy people to die as the experiment faltered.

It wasn’t until the former captain returned as a Starfleet Intelligence Admiral and tried to revive the illegal experiments that her father finally stood up to him.

But what really bothered Cassidy the most was that the Enterprise-D had to get sealed in an asteroid before her father came clean about the device.

It was a point that everyone at the hearings seemed too willing to overlook. It was so blatantly obvious and frightening to Cassidy that she couldn’t even bring herself to talk about it with Picard. He had already forgiven her father and kept him as his First Officer. For years her father remained there until he finally earned his way back to being offered another command of his own … her home … the Titan.

Still, Cassidy couldn’t help but wonder if her father would have said anything at all if the Romulans hadn’t sealed the Enterprise inside the asteroid. If they had not had been forced to use the device to escape, would Riker have allowed Pressman to remove the device and continue the experiments in defiance of the Treaty of Algeron?

She wasn’t sure she wanted to really know the answer to that question.

It was why she had avoided him.

She just didn’t want to know.

Chocolate wasn’t even helping.

“Now what could be so horrible as to make a young woman like yourself turn your nose up at a simply delectable chocolate sundae?”

It was a voice Cassidy had never heard before.

It was soft, velvet, almost baritone, but yet distinctly female.

Cassidy lifted her eyes from the unfocused stare of the table-top to see a dark-skinned woman with a gentle smile and a funny, oblong hat standing near her.

“Excuse me?” Cassidy said politely, really not hearing what the woman had said to her.

The woman’s smile lifted a little further. “May I join you? The rest of the lounge is full.”

Cassidy jumped from the anxiety. “I’m sorry I really shouldn’t…”

“Wonderful, thank you.” The woman sat without waiting for Cassidy to decline the request. “You see,” she continued, “I’m never quite sure when I’ll be able to take a break around here and right now the other four bartenders have the place well under control. Just so happens, there are no empty tables.”

“But I don’t think that I’m allowed…”

“To what? Talk to strangers?” She nodded.

“Good rule. So don’t talk to me. I’ll talk to you instead.”

Cassidy’s head spun, searching for the familiar face of her Uncle Ranul, but he was nowhere to be seen.

She looked back at the soft-featured woman once more with confusion.

“What’s wrong?” the woman asked.

“You seem familiar,” she uttered. “You look familiar.”

The woman’s smile beamed from her dark face.

“Funny you should say that,” she said brightly and settled herself into her chair a little more comfortably.

“You look awfully familiar to me. Tell me. Have we met before?

Cassidy searched her mind and finally shook her head. “No. I don’t think so.”

“Hmmm. Maybe not, but you do remind me of someone. Someone very special to me.”

Cassidy shrugged with tension and unease. She was about to open her mouth once more but decided she had already said enough. She looked around the lounge again and finally caught the gaze of Lt. Commander Keru, an unjoined Trill and the Second Officer of the Titan.

He stood immediately, seeing the distress in Cassidy’s face and the fact she had been joined at her table. He moved immediately from the bar and rushed to her side. “Cass, is everything…” He looked quickly to the woman sitting across from her and smiled brightly.

“Ah! I see you’ve met the proprietor!”

The dark-skinned woman grinned. “Commander Keru! You know this young woman?”

“Do I?” He smiled. “This here is my niece.”

“Your niece?” Guinan inquired with confusion.

“Yes. Well no… but yes,” he stammered with a laugh.

“Well, is she or isn’t she?”

“She is everyone’s niece,” he chortled. “She is my captain’s daughter. Cassidy Riker, let me introduce you to Guinan, head barkeep of the SB 214 lounge.”

Cassidy’s cheeks fell with the recognition of the name and her head spun to look at the woman across from her.

Something didn’t seem right.

“Guinan?” she whispered.

Guinan nodded with a sly smile. “No wonder you look familiar. You are the spitting image of your father.”

She turned to Ranul. “Thanks Commander. If you don’t mind, I’d like to spend a little time with Miss Riker… in the arboretum I think.”

“I’m sure that would be just fine Guinan. Just contact me when you’re ready for me to pick her up and take her home. Titan is set to be here for another two days.”

Guinan extended her hand to Cassidy who looked to Keru for confirmation. He grinned and nodded. “It’s okay Cassidy. Your parents would be thrilled. Trust me.”

Cassidy was thoroughly confused but looked to the dark brown eyes of the woman who was holding out her hand.

She felt no fear.

“Come on,” she said. “Come tell me why the chocolate isn’t helping.”

“Have fun you two and I’ll tell your parents where you are,” Keru said as he walked back to his place at the bar.

Cassidy allowed the woman to take her hand and lead her out into the main corridor and to the lifts where they rose to the 281st level and the grand starbase’s magnificent interstellar arboretum.

They didn’t speak the entire time they traveled there, leaving Cassidy to wonder who this woman was and what she wanted with her.

Finally, after walking over a perfectly manicured lawn in the monstrous arboretum, Guinan turned to her.

“Are you always so mistrusting of others?”

Cassidy let herself think about it for a moment then let a wave of anger flow over her. “I am now,” she said softly.

Guinan lifted her head and walked solemnly in front of her. “Hmm, that’s a problem.”

“You know my parents?”

“Yes,” she responded and took a seat on what resembled an ancient park bench. “…very well as a matter of fact.”

Cassidy wasn’t sure she liked the sound of that.

“I only heard them mention your name. They never talked to me about you.”

Cassidy was surprised that Guinan smiled with her disclosure. “That’s because I asked them not to.”

Now she was more than just confused. “Sorry…”

“I asked them not to,” Guinan said blithely. “You see Cassidy, we’ve met once before.”

“We have?”

“Uh huh, when you were about two.”

Cassidy smirked. “That’s why I don’t remember.”

“No, I suppose not.”

“But why would you not want my parents to talk to me about you?”

“Because I wanted you to meet me without any preconceived ideas,” she said. “You have no idea who I am – only that Ranul thought it was safe for you to be with me and that your parents wouldn’t mind.” She grinned. “Sounds like you trust Ranul an awful lot.”

“I do.” Cassidy replied, still standing some distance from the park bench. “He’s good at keeping me safe.”

“I am sure he is.” Guinan motioned toward the space on the bench next to her. “Come. Sit with me. I won’t bite.”

“Uhm… no thanks. I’ll sit here if that’s okay,” Cassidy said and fell to a cross-legged position on the grass in front of her.

“Fine with me,” Guinan confirmed.

Cassidy felt split. She couldn’t figure this woman out. She seemed nice. She seemed honest… but she wasn’t really sure. Something wasn’t connecting with her like normal and it put her ill at ease.

Guinan watched her quietly for a few moments then smiled knowingly before saying, “You said I looked familiar.”

Cassidy nodded. “I saw you on a holodeck historical program,” she said. “You were on the Enterprise-D when my Dad was…”

“Me? In a historical holodeck program!?

Really?” She grinned, “Oh, now I do feel important.”

It was then that Cassidy realized what was so odd about her. “You haven’t aged,” she said with awe. “You look exactly the same as you did in that program…”

“I have so aged. I’ve aged many years since I was on the Enterprise-D. As a matter of fact I’ve aged precisely twenty five years since then. I’ve just managed to look my age that’s all.”

Cassidy contorted her face and then let the realization slide over her and she dropped her head from embarrassment. “You’re not human.”

“I’m El Aurian.”

“A what?”

“El Aurian,” she said gently. “I’m not surprised you haven’t heard of my species. There’s not many of us left.”

“Why not?”

Guinan dropped her head with a twist at her lips.

“The Borg.”

Cassidy felt a wave of sadness run through her.

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I,” she said.

“So you live here now?”

“Oh, I travel around. I like to tend bar where I can and sometimes I stay for a long time, sometimes I move on to another spot pretty quickly.”

“Were you the bartender on the Enterprise-D?” “I was.”

Her admission confused Cassidy. “Then why would you be on the bridge of the Enterprise after they assimilated Captain Picard?”

“Oh… so that’s the historical program you saw me in?”

Cassidy nodded. “You came out of the ready room after my Dad received a field promotion.”

“You didn’t see the conversation I had with him?”

“No. Uncle Tuvok skipped over it.”

Guinan laughed. “Tell me, why do you call all your shipmates Aunt or Uncle?”

“Because they’re family,” Cassidy replied, “or at least that’s what Mom and Dad said.”

“They’re right you know.”

Cassidy shrugged and then grimaced.

Her reaction was not lost on Guinan. “What?

You don’t believe them?”

Cassidy refused to answer. Truth or not, this was a friend of her parents’, it wouldn’t be good to talk about private family matters in front of her.

“My … you have been stung, haven’t you?”

Cassidy stood. “Look. I think you’re nice, but I should really go now.”

“You really don’t trust me, do you?”

“It’s not that.” Cassidy tried to say politely, “I just don’t think it’s…”

“Picard said you were a lot like him. He’s right you know.” Guinan said coolly.

Cassidy stopped and turned back to look at her, still off-balance by her, still not knowing which direction she would come from next. It was a little frightening.

“What do you mean?”

“It means that you and I are likely to be very close.” she said seriously.

PART FIVE AND WE COME FULL CIRCLE

Chapter Notes: Cassidy listens to the Listener and then uses an old trick of her father's...

Cassidy turned to analyze the woman once more.

She tried to see how truthful she was being and the only signs she could discern from this mysterious person was that the truth may be all this woman could ever be.

“Who are you?” Cassidy asked quietly.

Guinan’s smile softened. “The most intelligent question you could have ever asked. I am… a Listener.”

Cassidy let her answer soak in. A Listener. On its face the answer seemed almost trite, but she knew well enough that some of the simplest answers carried the greatest depth.

“Why should I trust you?” Cassidy asked.

“You can only answer that for yourself.”

Cassidy grimaced. She was right. “Why do you want to talk with me?”

“Because you need to talk.”

Cassidy turned to walk away again, not wanting to share her inner-most feelings with a complete stranger – especially one that would only run to her parents with what she had said. “Well, thanks anyway.”

“What did he do you that was so awful Cassidy?”

Once again she stopped in her tracks, but this time the hair on her arms pricked up. “Who?” “Your father.”

Cassidy remained silent. Guinan’s words felt like razors being drawn down her abdomen.

“You used to idolize him, didn’t you?” Guinan asked.

“Yeah, well… things change.” She sighed and turned to walk from the arboretum once more.

“He’s not the man you think he is Cassidy. He’s better than that.”

“Then why didn’t he say something?” she blurted, somehow knowing that Guinan would know exactly what she was talking about.

“You think he didn’t want to?”

“He waited too long! He could have said something sooner!” She looked towards the door of the arboretum, letting her back face Guinan.

“You’re right. He could have, but he was afraid.”

Cassidy shook with rage. “Afraid of what? Doing what was right?”

“Losing everything he had worked for.”

That was it. Cassidy spun back around, fury crossed her face. “He taught me to tell the truth! He taught me to stand up for what I believe in! He didn’t even do it himself! He waited until the Enterprise was all sealed up inside that asteroid! The Romulans could have tortured and killed all those people…”

“But they didn’t. Your father told Captain Picard about the device, knowing full well he could face courtmartial for breaking the Admiral’s orders.”

“But would he have if the Enterprise hadn’t needed the device to get out?”

A long, eerie stretch of silence passed between them.

“That’s it…” Guinan grinned. “That’s what this is all about. Do you really think he would have kept the device hidden if we hadn’t have been sealed in the asteroid?”

“I don’t know,” Cassidy growled. “I’m not sure…”

“Why? Because you’re not sure you would have if you were in the same position?”

It was the ultimate stab.

The killing thrust.

The final, shattering blow.

Cassidy froze where she stood, looking to the dark brown eyes of the gentle stranger.

She felt naked, exposed… weak. “No,” she whispered. “I’m not sure.”

“That is the most honest thing you’ve said to me since we met.” Guinan stood from the bench. “You cannot ask about what might have been. Only accept what was and try to make tomorrow right.” She reached for Cassidy’s shoulder and gently placed her hand there.

Cassidy was still numb. “Your father did that Cassidy.

He accepted his responsibility for what he did. He faced a very rough time during the inquiry and he was ready to accept his fate, but he ultimately made the right decision.

None of us can ask more from anyone. Your father has saved more lives than you will ever know. He saved the Federation’s face and credibility that day. Nothing could have been more heroic. Heroes aren’t born Cassidy –

they’re made with split-second decisions. Like the one your father made when he realized that the Federation’s honor mattered more than his career.”

Cassidy tried to swallow but couldn’t bring herself to do it. “Grampa Picard trusts him.”

“With his life I might add. And I so have I. I still do,” Guinan said seriously but then lightened her tone again. “Did you know… your father used a historical holoprogram during that time?”

Cassidy looked up with slight surprise.

“You might be interested to know… he used it to help him come to a decision about his predicament.”

“He did?”

“Hm mm. Your mother suggested he review the program of the NX-01’s last mission to help him understand that sometimes breaking orders are the right thing to do…”

“Are you saying I should watch it?”

Guinan smiled. “It couldn’t hurt. You seem to learn well from using them too.” Cassidy nodded.

“Come on. Let me take you back to the lounge where we can both eat a fresh sundae… okay?”

“Okay.”

Cassidy enjoyed her conversation with Guinan in the lounge. They talked about everything but her father.

They talked about everything but her mother or her sister or her brother. They talked about life, the Borg, boys, marriage, death, school, friendship, loyalty, sex, sacrifice, dedication, perseverance, strength and love.

Cassidy had never felt so enriched, so confided in or so… adult.

She went home in the company of Lieutenant Keru and immediately moved directly towards the Titan’s holodeck to watch the historical program that her father had used so many years before.

She had been in there for hours, watching Captain Archer and Shran.

She cried when Commander Tucker ignored Archer’s orders and sacrificed himself to save his Captain She could see why it helped her father.

She froze the program when Commander Tucker was pronounced dead and she sat on a chair in the sickbay of the NX-01 – staring at the stricken faces of the captain and the ship’s Denobulan physician.

She let the tears stream quietly down her cheeks.

“He saw the bigger picture,” Riker’s gentle voice came from behind her.

Unsurprised by his presence, Cassidy wiped her face. “He saw that the Coalition was bigger than him,” she responded.

“Yes.” “He saved Archer just so Archer could sign the treaty?”

“Yes.” “Couldn’t someone else have signed?”

“Maybe, but it wouldn’t have been the same.”

She sighed in resignation. “Maybe not.”

“We wouldn’t have an Archer Day would we?” she heard him laugh.

She tried not to smile but it was useless. She wiped more of her tears as best she could, knowing he was directly behind her. “You didn’t know what to do, did you?”

“It was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life,” he admitted softly. “I felt so guilty. I felt like I let those people die… but there were things that the Admiral and others in Starfleet Intelligence had said that seemed so reasonable to me.

“Hop, I won’t lie, there were many times I was angry that the Romulans always seemed to have the upper hand. They always had the tactical advantage and I never understood why the Federation allowed it to stay that way. I had a very hard time disagreeing with others that thought their advantage should be wiped out. But when I was young, I didn’t take into account the true meaning of the Treaty of Algeron.”

She lifted her reddened face to watch her father walk in front of Captain Archer’s grief-stricken holographic image. “What was that?”

“The treaty was the written evidence of a promise that the Federation had made long before I was even born. The promise was made by a group of people who felt that the Federation could enter into that agreement because we didn’t need the cloaking technology to survive. We didn’t want to be surreptitious in our ways.

We didn’t want to be seen as secretive and untrusting because that’s not what the Federation stands for.

“Not only am I am member of the Federation, as a Starfleet officer I am a representative of the Federation and everything that it stands for… even treaties I may not always agree with.

“That promise was bigger than me. That treaty was bigger than me. I knew it right after I saw Commander Tucker give his life for something bigger than himself.

“I only had a career to lose… not my life.”

Cassidy knew he was telling the truth and she eased momentarily, then she mustered the courage to ask him the big question.

“Dad?” she whispered, and he turned his bright and worried blue eyes to hers.

She knew she would be able to see a lie immediately and it frightened her a little, yet she pressed forward. “If the Enterprise hadn’t been sealed in that asteroid… would you still have made the same choice?”

She looked to the sadness swept across the holographic Dr. Phlox’s face.

Riker was visibly shaken and he turned with shock to his baby girl. “That’s what had you so upset all this time?” he asked softly.

She nodded with defeat.

Riker drew his hand down his graying beard.

“Wow, no wonder you’ve been angry.”

“Dad…” “Cassidy … Hop …” He looked her straight in the eyes, never wavering in his resolve. “My mind was made up long before we ever entered that asteroid. I was keeping silent in the hopes that the device had been destroyed. If it had been, I knew the experiments wouldn’t have continued and I would never have to break the Admiral’s order. The moment I saw that the device was undamaged I informed Admiral Pressman I wouldn’t allow the experiments to continue.”

“Were you scared?”

“I was terrified.”

“I would have been too,” she said as she stood and dropped her eyes to the floor. “Computer, end program.”

The emotional scene in the sickbay of the NX-01 disappeared and the room reverted to its empty state.

Riker stood across from her with concern and sorrow. “You believe me don’t you?”

Cassidy nodded.

He pressed his lips together. “I’m glad. I don’t think I would have liked my life very much if you hated me.”

Cassidy choked. “I don’t hate you, I was just afraid. Afraid…”

“It’s okay…” he offered his arms and she slowly walked to him, allowing him to take her into his strong and caring embrace. “I was afraid you’d never forgive me.”

“I just needed to understand more… that’s all.”

She pressed her face directly into his abdomen.

He stroked her soft hair and relished her fond hold around him, “Thanks for taking the time to find the truth. Not very many people are wise enough to analyze things for themselves Cassidy.”

“You’re not mad?”

Riker pulled her back to look her in the eye once more. “Absolutely not. You had a right to be angry Hop. We kept a lot of information about us from you, not because we didn’t think you weren’t smart enough, but because no one wants their children to see their mistakes.

We want our children to love us and we stupidly think

that if they see all the good stuff, they’ll not make any mistakes on their own.” Cassidy grimaced and Riker smiled, “I didn’t say it was brilliant Hop, I said it was stupid.” He brought her back into his nest. “It’s only now that I realize how important it is for you and Beth and Bill to learn about the mistakes I’ve made… about the mistakes we’ve all made. Maybe we can help you avoid making the same ones in your future.

“You however, were smart enough to find the real answers for yourself. You wanted to know the truth and you found it, all on your own. I don’t blame you for not trusting us. We didn’t deserve it. I will do my best to earn it back.”

Cassidy squeezed him tightly, knowing he meant every word.

-fin