The Cascade April 13, 1994 Volume 1 Issue 12

Vol.1 No.12

A ril 13, 1994

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Or be led to the slaughter

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UCFV Student Society Elections, April 14-15

THE

You're not an Apple You're a Worm

CASCADE

Perfect? Shiny?

Without Imperfections?

Give me a break!

Don't kid yourself You're not an apple.

Bad I was Only one in the barrel Outside rotten, Inside, pure, Apple juice.

Then came you A Worm disguised a Butterfly, ered through my back door, kpot, devoured my core. , robbed ofmy naiveness, more Big time, more juice. ii just be the additive, the preservative, r whatever they choose. ut ...

Announcement Candidates

of

These individuals have been nominated for the following positions:

The views expressed in The Cascade are not necessarily those of the UCFV Faculty, Administration, students, Student Society, or anyone else's for that matter! They were just slipped underneath our office door.

East Campus Council

u have a choice ou can make a decision! worm's life, You 'II live in the dirt A Butterfly, no doubts, ou could flirt with the sky.

Jeff Tisdale Dennis Halligan Ulla Vicktor Baljinder Bains

Come embrace, Reside in the cocoon of Love.

Absorbed in this poetry You will transpire.

Your heart will dance to the utmost mewdies that sing like a choir.

Chairperson Treasurer Social Coordinator Public Information Officer

WHO?

West Campus Council

Enter with nothing Exit,free soul, with new desire.

As/or me ...

I've dropped my garden shovel.

Now I'm a butterfly catcher except .../ don't chase!

Will you float? Will you take the worm's place?

But still...

If we never meet again, I bid you fare well, until the next life.

Where, I'll be the worm and you'll be the apple.

Except ... when we meet I'll be nice, I'll remember, I'll spare you.

John Dorst Chairperson * l\telanie Glaim Chairperson * l\tichelle Demers Secretary Shannon Bradley Social Coordinator Robert Campbell Public Information Officer· * Chris Stier Public Information Officer * Member at Large Clare Goldman Member at Large Baldeep Sekhon A vote will be required for the positions marked wit an asterick.

This secret ballot shall take place at the Abbotsford and Mission campuses April 14-15.

Polling stations will be open from 10 am -4 pm each day.

NOTE: Abbotsford's station will be open until 7 pm on Thursday, April 14.

"Never the same you will be you've been affected by a Jack Personality!"

-A message from the Chief Returning Officer

- "Jack" WO*MAN I have to smile, as she tells me that there is a time and place for everything, And that although this may be the place, it is most certainly not the time.

I have to smile, because this is the 90's.

And if I make one wrong move, she may pull an alarm secretly attached to her keychain in her purse.

And then the whole world will come running and the next thing I know - I will be in jail with charges pending "sexual attack" and "harassment."

I have to smile, because my mother raised me to be a gentleman and to respect a woman's "mind" as well as her body.

I have to smile, even when she refuses to take my outstretched hand.

Because society tells me that I have to restrain my anger and replace it with ''manners" instead.

I have to smile, as she angrily pushes away my arm, when I protectively drape it about her shoulders.

And even when she reminds me that she is a strong, capable person and doesn't need my help.

I have to smile, as I write these words.

Because in reality, I am a girl, deceiving you with the thoughts ofa man.

Colleen Mah

UCFV Student Newspaper 13th April 1994 Vol. 1 No. 12 Room E 242, Abby campus.

33844 King Rd. Abbotsford, BC V2S 4N2 854-4529

Volunteer Wanted For a few hours a week to be a friend for a handicapped gentleman.

Call Robert at 854-5931 (after noon) for more info.

We, the Staff, are composed of dedicated, warped individuals who have come together to produce this crazy publication.

Weare: Editor-in-Chief Bryan Sikora Managing Editor , Monique Marchant Production Editor Jill Bryant Sports Director Bryan Sikora Contributing Writers Monique Marchant Colleen Mah Michelle Demers Bryan Sikora Jill Bryant Jonathon Dowd Ron Dart Thor Forseth David Thiessen Nolan Webb Jeff Tisdale Dallas J. Michael Brochman Regina Dalton

Photographer Bryan Sikora

Advertising Director Bryan Sikora

Advertising Rep Christ Stier Do not blame us for anything, for we are only pawns in a much larger game ....

On the Cover This cow was created at the hands of: Nicholas Moldowan Angela Bandurka Carrie MacKay To view the cream work Harvey Craven produced by students at UCFV Fiona Milis Lydia Spencer in the variousArt and Design Craig Wishart Matt Fredin Programs,drop by the Abby Peter Andres Shayne Porlier Campus,Saturday,April 23, Wally Bredlow Lisa Petrvic from JO- 4pm Studios will be open/or viewing,and mooing.

NEWS New UCFV Student Society to be elected -- change a must for new year April 14-15 to mark resurrection

By Bryan Sikora, Chief Returning Officer As the 1993/94 academic year comes to a close, the UCFV Student Society, or

rather, what's left of it, is currently in the process of forming a new student government The previous notice of elections has been unheeded by those interested. This forced PresidentJ ayce Henderson to declare an extended period for Nominations.

As only Henderson herself attempted to undertake this huge feat of running an election, the result was obvious: no one stepped forward to assist, or to run for office themselves.

Henderson's most-recent Student Society colleagues, Kevin Buchanan and Brent Leith,jumped ship some time ago as

and restructuring

they could not, in my opinion, handle the responsibility of being in office. Not to mention the many others who bailed throughout the year.

For the most part, though, this alleviated the Student Society of it's dead weight, and enabled Henderson to act accordingly, hence the current campaign, with voting to take place on April 14 and 15 at all campuses and centers, except Agassiz.

Election rules can be seen throughout all UCFV campuses and centers. Even though the Constitution of the Student SocietywasrenderedinvalidbypastStudent Society's, the 1987 Constitution will apply to the extent as possible.

Any discrepancies will be dealt with by the Chief Returning Officer-myself- in consultation with the President of the Student Society, Jayce Henderson.

As 1994 - 1995 will bring great

Lend a helping.hand; party with the best Benefit dance sponsored to aid local boy

By Event Co-organizer, Michael Brochman Jay Kennington is an eight year old Abbotsford boy who is afflictedwith a very rarediseasecalledandrenalleukadystrophy, or A.L.D. (the debilitating disease profiled in the movie Lorenzo'sOil.) Presently, Jay is recovering from chemotherapy treatments and a bone marrow transplant at the BC Children's Hospital.

His parents, Rick and Mary, are residing at Ronald McDonald House when they are not with Jay at the hospital.

There is no charity, foundation or other organization to help the Kennington's cope with the tremendous financial and emotional strain of this tragic event.

Therefore I decided to put together a fund-

raising dance, along with the help ofmy co, R.emy H orne. :t organizer, In addition, we have tremendous support from our sponsors, Optimist International, and from many friends and others donating their time and effort.

Tbisbenefitdancefeaturesthreehard rock, local, original bands, Dr. Lizard (my band),Bedlam,andDirtyDick&theTrojan Test Pilots.

The date of the dance is April 23, at the Ag-Rec, Central Fraser Valley Exhibition Park in Matsqui.

Liquor will be served, so please use carpools with designated drivers.

If you have any ques!ions, please do not hesitate to call me, 852-9588, or Reiny, 850-9248.

(SeeAd on pg. 10)

Name needed now Namesake of new UCFV library to be a prominent Canadian At the March 14meeting, the Library Advisory Committee (L.A.C.) unanimously agreed to co-ordinate a university collegewide search to identify a worthy Canadian who will, hopefully, lend her/his name to the new Abbotsford library in the Learning Center.

This initiative is not related to the proposal under review fornaming buildings, classrooms and more after donors.

The U.C.F.V. libraries that will be built in the next few years will be core facilities and, in the case of the Abbotsford library for the moment, it was agreed that the primary motive for naming the facility should be to promote U.C.F.V. as a school of higher learning by recognizing the achievement of a prominent Canadian.

The L.A.C., therefore, invites you to

submit the name of one Canadian who, in your view best meets the following criteria (please provide reasons for your choice): 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

A Canadian citizen A person of national stature Noted for intellectual achievements A Canadian with B.C. connections A person with wide-ranging interests

The L.A.C. will agree on a list of three from the names submitted and this shortlist will be submitted to the Board for a final choice.

Please send your choice to Jack Gaston, L.A.C. Chair, A353 Abbotsford campus. If you have questions call Jack at 4563.

Contest closes April 14, so hurry!

3

of previously erratic Society

change within UCFV management :md administration, UCFV students must be aware of the changing educational climate.

Students must also give their input as to where this institution (UCFV) is heading in the future.

In order to do this, an efficient, responsible, and ACTIVE Student Society must be in place. This is only one reason why campaign posters have been seen throughout the hallways of UCFV. I believe that we, the students, do need fair representation at the governing level of the UCFV Board. The Board also thinks this, as their allotment of seats at the table shows.

But for this to occur, we must first acquire the right people for the job of representing us. Through an election, this should be achieved.

One of the mandates of the new

Student Society will be to restructure itself, so adequate representation from ALL sections of the UCFV Student body can be attained, and maintained throughout the year. This will discussed at one of the mandatory workshops for the newly elected.

A second mandate will be to update our Constitution. As was said earlier, the current one is invalid, and outdated. This will also be discussed at the mandatory workshops.

With the election to take place on April 14-15, make your voice be heard.

There arealways complaints of tuition hikes, ignorance of pertinent issues, and no activities - an inactive Student Society.

Now is your chance todo something about it~ Vote, and be heard. on April 14-15 on your respective campus.

Don't wander life's highways without a say on the condition of the route'

Student Society Election Exercise your Democratic Right

Thursday, April 14 & Friday April 15 At your respective campus, if required.

All members of the UCFV Student Society who have ·paid their student fees are eligible to vote.

The times are changing. UCFV is growing, and for students to be adequately represented, we must have an effective and active Student Society.

Take part in shaping the future.

The Constitution of the UCFV Student Society (1987) will apply to the extent possible.

Where the provisions of the Consitution need to be interpreted or clarified for the purpose of conducting this elt..-ction, this shall be done by the Chief Returning Officer in consultation with the President.

A message from the Chief Returning Officer

4

Just be nice, eh!

Pleasantries event to become annual affair at the University College of the Fraser Valley A special day is about to occur at UCFV. Random Acts of Kindness Day is to take place April 15, the last day of classes.

There is a need to boost sagging morale and pride at UCFV, t:specially at this time: the end of the semester. The students, faculty, and administration face a great amount of stress due to work commitments, deadlines, as well as other various responsibilities at this time.

It is the aim of Random Acts of

Kindness Day to ease some of this anxiety by providing a simple and easy alternative to lighten the mood of staff and students.

On April 15,participate in this special day by opening a door, buying a coffee, providing a massage, purchasing a parking ticket, carry books, etc., all for someone other than yourself. Even a polite "Hello" followed by a smile will do the trick.

Friday, April 15 - Random Acts of Kindness Day.

.----Shaping reality Giddyup

~' i$1>~$Jaa &Go

.Pepperon·, I.

That's right!

A10"Pepperoni Pizza foronly$2.99

(Sun. _ Thurs. Only) Bryan Sikora Photo

Additional toppings only 50¢

Blair Simmons works on another masterpiece; this time, a clay sculpture of a human model. For more interesting artwork, check the UCFV Gallery, located on the Abby campus by the Bookstore.

Giddyup & Go...Nodelivery atthese • prices ExpiresSept.8/94 Nocoupon necessary -·

Additional toppings only 50¢each Ham Bacon Onion Salami

Jalapenos Tomato Beef Olive Mushroom Sausage Black PepµJFeta Cheese PepperoniGreen PineappleX-tra CheeseX-1raDough (counts twice) Thin &Crispy -

FREE Extra Sauce orHotPepper Seeds Locally Owned andOperated

CLEARBROOK

Spring special suited to Fraser Valley thespians ■

Shakespeare's Women, a two act play with a modern setting and sixteenth century dialogue by Libby Appel and Michael Flachman, is a special post season springtime presentation by the UCFV theatre department's second year acting students.

ABBOTSFORD

854-6227 859-3939 (Next toHusky)

(Next toMohawk)

32442Dahlstrom Ave.

34470 S.Fraser Way

Featuring male and female .characters from some of The Bard's most well known and popular plays, Shakespeare's Women brings together a theatrical combination of scenes displaying Shakespeare's complex and intriguing view of women during the Renaissance.

Any Fraser Valley theatregoers who enjoyed the Theatre Department's recent productions of "Goodnight Desdemona (Good Morning Juliet)" and "The Merry Wives of Windsor" are almost certain toenjoy"Shakespeare's Women".

Second year acting students involved in this special presentation are: Ann Cooper, Jan Elstead, Gordon Hamilton, Todd Ingram, GinJuanicotena, Blair Keyzer, Yvonne Millward, Derek Payne, Jeanette Plant, Margaret Rayworth, Andrew Rennie, Heather Robertson, Jamie Tait, Larry Hamm and Ken Smith.

Directed by Theatre Department head Ian Fenwick, "Shakespeare's Women" plays April 27, 28, 29 and 30 at 8pm in The Studio Theatre on the Chilliwack campus. Tickets are $5.00 each and can be purchased at the theatre box office.

For reservations and information call 795-2814.

Student Society Elections: April 14 & 15..

Get out and VOTE

================================~==~

s

UCFV proposes restructuring of system Many recommendations made, including overhaul of Student Society

UCFV Student Society. Also included is a description of how the UCAC (University College Advisory Committee) would be As the University College of the transformed into the University-College Fraser Valley is constantly growing, the Council with more student representation. management and Board of Directors must Many other significant changes are also also keep pace. recommended - too many to list In a document released by Dr. Peter A major recommendation to the Jones, UCFV President - entitled Student Society is to focus on the "reliance on DEPARTMENTAL and Governance and Management Structures he stated that it is the Strategic Plan's .PROGRAMME-BASED groups of students as the basic 'module' commitment to "take for forming the new a close look at u c F v , s ''We are looking forward society."

An underlying management and to having student theme throughout the governance tati' t • structures and to represen on o give us Governance m a k e more advice on the decision- Structure section is to recommendations making side than we've had open up more possibilities for for any changes that may be deemed in the past. " student necessary ... as we - Dr. Peter Jones representation. More seats on more pursue our goal of approximately 6000 committees will be FIE's (full time enrollments)." offered to students.

The Strategic Plan - a 30 page "We are looking forward to having document- is a "vision of where we'll be 5 student representation directly on the years from now," Dr. Jones stated. "It deals Board," Jones said. "In general terms, what with the fact that we' re likely to be twice the we're hoping is to put some structures in size then." place which will make it possible for students It provides a basic framework in to actually give us more advice on the which UCFV can grow and expand in the qecision-making side than we've had in the next 5 years. past."

The premise of the G&M Structures Discussion is currently underway document comes from Institutional concerning 2 permanent seats for student Objective No. 7 of the Strategic Plan, which representation on the UCFV Board. states, in part, "to review the governance The Management Structure section and management structures of UCFV and recommends a system that will "provide make whatever change~ are appropriate in UCFV with the kind of structure that will order that they may bettenespond to the (a) allow it to grow to about 5,000 FTE's growth and increasing complexity of the and (b) have the potential, if parts of it are institution." implemented quickly, to mitigate some of The recommendations put forth by the real stress-points that are now apparent."

Dr. Jones in the G&M Structures document Areas of significance include the are based upon the following assumptions: President's office, new Deaneries, Task - management structure should remain as Forces, and clustering the current flat as possible programmes into "schools," among many - the structure should reflect UCFV' s others. commitmenttoremaining an institution with The President's office is suggested a comprehensive curriculum to be consolidated into one office in - the structure should be conducive to Abbotsford, with the Vice-President's role UCFV's remaining a multi-campus being re-written and "combined with deanoperation, wi~ three major campuses level responsibilities." foreseeable by the year 2000 The recommended "schools" would - the structure should be conducive to the group similar studies together. major part ofour growth taking place on the "When you have a particular school, "front lines" -i.e. faculty, student services, you provide a seed ground for new etc. programmes to grow," Jones explained.

The document is split into two "By establishing those schools which sections, Governance Structure and are bigger than a Department, but smaller Management Structure.

Each section than a Faculty, that students would have a outlines all the recommendations made by human sized community within a Dr. Jones. community that they could relate to."

The Governance Section covers For example, Fine Arts, Graphics, everything from a face-lift of the Committee Fashion Design, etc., would be housed in of the Whole to recommendations for the the School of Art and Design.

By Bryan Sikora

Dr. Jones also hinted at a possible Tourism and Hospitality programme down the road.

It is also suggested that Task Forces be created to "tackle issues arising from the Strategic Plan." Members of these groups will include many students.

Though this r~port is only a "blurry vision" of where UCFV is heading, it will provide a foundation from which we can build our future.

"We are trying to get a structure where we can grow easily into an institution of 5 - 6000 FIE's over the next 5 years," Jones remarked.

Much debate will arise from these recommendations, but that is where the great ideas come from.

Public Forums on this G&M Structures document are being scheduled for both Abbotsford and Chilliwack in midApril.

Bryan Sikora Photo

This 1992 Chevy has found a new home in the UCFV Trades Department. used by entry-level student technicians as a training tool.

It will be

New truck, engines f'icked up by Trades There are eight new engines revving in the auto shop at the University College of the Fraser Valley's Trades and Technology Centre, thanks to a donation from Ford of Canada.

The donation, which was part of a group of 32 engines given to community colleges recently, was a cooperative affair.

Canadian Tire delivered the engines through its distribution system, and the Canadian Automotive and Repair Service (CARS) Knowledge Network coordinated the project.

The engines will beused as a training tool for entry-level and apprentice Automotive Technician students.

"This type of cooperative venture is a great help to our programs," says UCFV Trades director Harvey McCullough. ''The bottom line is that without industry support and help, it becomes very difficult for us to remain current. Thanks to donations like this, we're able to stay on the leading edge.

For a fairly small Trades department, we

manage to attract a healthy share of donations and we're very grateful for that."

* * * Harvey McCullough, Trades director at the University College of the Fraser Valley, is always happy to "pick up" donations for his programs wherever he can, but he's never had the opportunity to pick up a pickup until now.

General Motors of Canada and Brett'sChevroletOidsmobileofChilliwack have donated a 1992 Chevy pickup truck to UCFV, for use as a training tool by entrylevel and apprentice Automotive Technician students.

"We're always delighted when industry recognizes our need to stay current and helps us our with donations," said McCullough.

"We want to do our part to train the next generation of trades people," added Dave Meyerink of Brett's.

Artwork on display

Thank you Advance Press!

Chilliwack trio curate show featuring student work

A special thanks to Mimmo and staff at Advance Press for their excellent service in printing the UCFV Cascade. Their care and quality workmanship in producing our publication is appreciated by the Cascade staff and, most importantly, the readers.

Up and coming artists from UCFV will be displaying their work at the Chilliwack Arts Center until April 23.

The works include paintings, prints, and ceramics. The student show was curated

by Chilliwack artists Ross Bollerup and Sue Northcott, and Harrison gallery owner Betty Block.

The Chilliwack Arts Center, located at 45899 Henderson A venue, is open from 12-4 p.m. Tuesdays through Saturdays,

except Fridays, when it is open from noon to9p.m.

UCFV students whose works will be on display are Maria Nylund, Evelyn Vanderpol, Kris Kahle, Gloria Grieve, Bev Ellis, Brian Gnyp, Darryl Hopkins, Tamara Kaminiarz, Suzanne Wiesenberg, Dare' Barroby, Sarah Harper, Shawn Stetsko, Monica Gibson Pugsley, Debbie, Deyo, Florence Pickering, Tuula Saarinen, Marilyn Kelm, and Anne Dickey.

.6

World View ■ By

In Mars we trust Ron Dart

"And, of course, you're perfectly right - thievesdo makeefficientsoldiers, andsoldiersmake quiteenterprisingthieves.

The two professionshave a good deal in common."

-Thomas More

It wasa wittyanda truthfulrejoinder which was given by a capturedpirate to Alexanderthe Great. He asked thefellow, "What was your idea in infestingthe sea?

And the pirate answeredwith uninhibited insolence, 'The same as yours, in infesting the earth.' But, becauseI do it with a tiny craft, I am called a pirate; because you have a mighty navy, you are called an emperor."

-Augustine

Thelawcondemnsthemanorwoman who steals the goosefrom off the common, but lets the greatervillainloosewho steals the commonfrom the goose.

The question, though, of Canada and development raises a much bigger question of the relationship of militarism and development.

The world spends about 60 billion a year on development; Canada, as I mentioned earlier, contribute.s about 2.5-3 billion to the pot, and most of the money is directed to brutal, militaristic regimes.

The USA, in 1994, will spend about 500 billion (include DOE weapons budget and other nonPentagon war expenses) on militarism, and a great deal of the US military muscle will be flexed in third world states.

• • •

If we, briefly and for While 40,000 children a day die of hunger related causes, the USA continues to a moment, compare what the world spends on improve its weaponry) such as the F-15 Eagle. ; Old English folk saying development and the USA spends on the military, we will see how Kurdish people (the largest people, in the bombs including B57 and b61 series nukes. marginal development is in international world, without a homeland - 28 million), Now, it is also billed as an excellent longThe recent mini-conference at UCFV relations. It is also important to note that the but because Turkey is such a good friend of range, deep interaction bomber, capable of on Canada and Development raised all sorts military is the largest operatorofhazardous the West, we, predictably, are silent. reaching any point in the world with one of important questions and controversial wastes in the USA; in fact, the Pentagon There is, obviously, much more that refueling. issues. generates between 400,000-500,000 tons could be said on many of these issues. But It is interesting to remind ourselves Canada continues to contribute less of toxins annually, more than the top five the Roman god of war, Mars, is very much that some of these war machines routinely and less to international development; the USA Chemical companies. the idol and false god in which the 1st world turn up at the Abbotsford Air Trade Show, UN set the stand of .7% of GNP, and we The US spent nearly $3 trillion on places its trust and security. and many iQdividuals tum up to watch have dipped, each year, closer to .4'7oof our defense in the 1980' s, or $45,000 for each A few weeks ago, I received a kind these beasts of destruction, to observe Mars GNP. The conference, though, pushed some American household. If for the moment, letter from Philip Berrigan. He and three strut his imperial stuff. of these facts further. we ignore the amount spent on militarism in other people went into Seymour .Johnson Berrigan; of course, was the USA, Americans spend three times as AilForce Base on Dec. 7, 1993. immediate! y arrested for his direct action of The three means by which Canada much on tobacco and nearly five times as The date coincided with the attack non-violent and disobedience; his trial offers development are multilateral, bilateral much on alcoholic beverages than their on Pearl Harbour, so the spirit of military comes up in a couple of weeks, and he could and Non-government Organizations government spends on official development patriotism was high on the base; the date receive up to ten years in prison.

(NGOs). Norman Cook, the representative was also significant because it was 'the assistance.

The figure of Philip Berrigan from Canadian International Development standing up to the Goliath of American agency (CIDA) and head of NGO activities military might raise the question of the in Ottawa. informed us that tl,e bulk of limits of civil and political freedom when Canadian development is channeled through natural security is at stake. multilateral and bilateral institutions (78% ), There is a Japanese saying that goes and only 23% of Canadian development like this; any nail that stands up will be assistance goes through NGOs. banged down.

Philip Berrigan and his It is generally agreed that NGOs friends have dared to stand up to Mars, and contribute the most meaningfully and But, to return to the main point, a slaughter ofinnocents' day in the Christian the devotees of Mars (the state, military, thoughtfully to the development industry, Trident II missile cost about $40 billion, calendar.

The slaughterofinnocents recalls science, and the courts) will take their but recent changes in CIDA have defined and Bangor Naval Base,just to the south of the moment when Herod sent the Roman hammer and attempt to bang them down.

NGOs as both profit and non-profit groups; military death squads to kill hundreds of In conclusion, itis vital that we learn this means NGOs are being watered down us in Puget Sound, is home to many Trident children, because he feared the birth of a to see the intimate connections between the and progressively marginalized for the submarines. Advance torpedo testing is done in Georgia Straight in the naval base new king that would usurp the power of military and thieves (More), the fact that purpose of business interests. across the water from Nanaimo.

Caesar.

Presidents are often pirates at large The document, Diminishing our It is important to note that Canada, Phil Berrigan and his friends went (Augustine), and, perhaps most importantly, Future: Four Years After Winegard, for the most part, salutes the USA on crucial into Seymour Johnson Air Force Base to when we condemn the man or woman who further argues that Canadian development issues; 7 5 .6% of Canadian exports go to the expose and reveal the relationship between often out of necessity steals the goose from hasfailed in four strategic areas: an uncritical USA as compared to 20% of American expenditures on the military (500 billion a the commons, we, for the most part, let the embrace of structural adjustment, the year) and the plight of children in the world exports corning to Canada.

In short, we are greater criminal and terrorist go who steals quantity and quality of aid, program delivery (40,000 die a day of hunger related dependent on the USA for our health and the commons from the goose. and human rights and development. causes); they were also concerned about the In this connection, it is important to Diminishing our future is meant to wealth, hence it is not in our interest to poverty in our feudal world order(2.5 billion remind ourselves that since W.W.11,the be a strong critique of CIDA's rhetoric of irritate the eagle. people live in a state of absolute or relative As part of the 1st world elite, we CIA has been involved in 10,000 minor Sharing our Future. It also became quite poverty). covert operations and 3,000 major covert obvious and clear at the conference that the must do our duty to protect our prosperity.

The USA has only 4.6% of the operations to destabilize states that resist term NGOs, when applied to most Canadian It is important to realize that, although we world's population but consumes 50% of their imperial ambitions. do not have a large standing army, we have Development groups, is a linguistic the world's wealthandenergy. The military Canada, of course, has regularly, one of the largest military expenditures in misnomer; most NGOs are substantially in the Central Fraser Valley is considered, and in a docile way, submitted to the actions funded by the government which makes the world; in short, we don't do the dirty next to agriculture, the second biggest of the USA; in this way, it is a complicit work, we pay mercenaries to do our work them Government Assisted Organizations agent in the violations of fundamental for us. economic contributor.

(GAOs). When a development organization Berrigan and his friends beat the Fhuman rights in the world, we do well to Canada, for example, made more accepts a substantial amount of funding 15E Strike Eagle with household hammers rememberthatNietzsche's 'LastMan' isa from the government, many important and money off the Vietnam War, per capita, and poured blood on the 40 million dollar first world temptation (healthy, well-fed, than any other country in the world, and one challenging questions are taboo. flagship of the US military. pampered and assured by technology), but The startling fact that Canada gives of the most violent states in the modem The F-15E is a supersonic allto rise, Phoenix like, from the ashes of the world (Turkey) receives significant military very little of its GNP to development (2.5weather nuclear-capable strike aircraft that 'Last Man' means to be a voice for justice 3 billion), and that most of this funding is supplies from Canada; in fact, Canada is the third largest contributor in terms of military will augment and eventually replace the Fin our world, and justice, itself, will resist sent to some of the states with the worst 111; it was designed to enhance the F-l 5C/ the demands of Mars. hardware and support structures to Turkey human rights (China, Indonesia, India, D's nuclear capabilities. Toward that end, (after the USA and Germany).

Bangladesh) should raise some thoughtful (&L's Note: This has been edited for space purposes) a rear cock pit was added for dropping Turkey regularly brutalizes the and concerned eyebrows.

"Americans spend 3X as much on tobacco and nearly SX as much on alcohol than their government spends on development assistance."

We asked, You ans-wered ...

What is Feminism?

By Colleen Mah FEMINISM?That's a BIG word.

And it covers a lot of UTILE details. Am I myself a "feminist"? I'm not sure. But if you cornered me, I'd probably say no. I am "politically correct" to a certain point. I don't FLINCH at words such as: "policeman" or "mankind", but degrading, sexist jokes are a no-no in my books. To get a formal understanding of "feminism" I went to my dictionary which said that feminism was: "the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes; organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests". Hmmmm ...more big words to ponder on.

Feminism appears to be closely linked with "equality". This is truly a wonderful step for our world, because we all ARE you know, EQUAL that is. (So don't be afraid to rub shoulders with the person next to you.)

Unfortunately THIS declaration of equality must be areal source of anxiety ...for FIRST DATES! You really have to feel sorry for the GUYS. Society has traditionally placed a male emphasis upon the "dating dilemma".

The 90's Anxiety Checklist: Should you ...

-open doors -pull out her seat/chair -offer to pay for everything -versus splitting everything fifty-fifty -go meet her parents -and all that other "gentle-ll)aDly" stuff This is where the confusion sets in.

Some women like to be treated in this "traditional" manner, while others find it down-right insulting!

Allow me to contribute my own

opinion to add to the confusion. I generally tend to avoid situations where someone else is footing the whole bill. a like to pay my own way.) And as for someone pulling out my chair-I'm a klutz; I'd probably end up on the floor!

But I DO LIKE it when someone opens a door for me. Itis an act of courtesy, a sign of politeness.

I find that I have a tendency to open doors for others as well, whether they be male or female (Insert: pat-on-back).

But I'm just talking about REGULAR doors. Restaurant doors, movie/theatre doors, store doors ...you get the picture. No CAR doors!!

To watch a man leap out of a car and rush around to the other side to open his wife/ girlfriend's, etc. door is pathetic. Ludicrous even. Why? I'm just picky I guess.

So there is my brief shot at "feminism". It is such a large topic, I have only begun to_knaw on the tip of this issue.

For those who choose to further enlighten me, please do so.

And Jill, please put down the bowling ball.

By Monique Marchant Feminism is a word used to identify a group of peoplewho are fighting for the equality of women. I believe, however, that this group, along with all of those otherswhowantequalrightsforaparticular group, are approaching their issues from the wrong angle.

Fight for the equality of all humans.

By working as individual groups you are only separtating yourselves further. Take a stand for humans as a whole.

By Regina Dalton At the risk of sounding cliche, for me feminism is divided into the "three Rs": reaction, responsibility and rights.

The first is my reaction to the way women are often treated in our ostensibly equal society.

Women are physically and sexually assaulted by men at a much greater rate than men are by women (violence on neither side being acceptable).

Women in the work force earn on average 2/3 the wage of men. Sexual and verbal harassment in the educational and work areas are a fact of life for many women.

Having a network of like-thinking women is for me, both a defense and a possible catalyst for changing these unacceptable situations.

Responsibilities for my feminist views include my being able to take care of myself and understanding- the effects of my ·choices in life.

Just as I am unwilling to label housework as "women's work", I am equally unwilling to label checking my vehicle's oil and tire pressure as ·'man's work".

My independence as a feminist does not preclude forging strong alliances with individuals of both sexes, and those of various sexual persuasions (please do not let the typesetter's pixie alter that last word

to "perversions").

Rights of being a feminist are those that should come to all humans. Most importantly, I insist on the right to make my own personal decisions without interference, provided these decisions do not adversely affect another person. And sharing this right with all humans - male as well as female - is integral to my belief system, both as a feminist and as a human being.

By Jill Bryant My contribution to the feminist debate, bound to piss somebody off: "Feminism in the academy and ill the corporation is not about womeu achieving the simple right to sit in engineering classes and absorb what is still essentially a male-defined curriculum.

Nor is it about simply getting equal pay. Or the right to share crumbs of power in the boardrooms of male-c°"ned. maledominated business and professional cultures.

Feminism is not about finding accommodations with the present order, ii is about grabbing curriculum by the scruff of the neck and shaking it to its comfortable foundations ....

Feminism is about being radical. It challenges out assumed values. It takes received wisdom and intellectual orthodoxy from male-dominated institutions and kicks them right in the slats."

-David Hume. from "Countering feminism's counter-revolution", Vancouver Sun. March 23. 1994.

I never thought I would use someone else·s words. much less the words of a man, to describe what feminism means to me.

But I couldn·1 have said it better myself.

A s,ociety of ants may be on the horizon

By Thor Forseth I recently heard a true story about a village leader somewhere in Africa One of his favorite past times was acquiring and collecting money. He never reinvested it into the lives of his needy villagers through something like a school or health clinic.

Instead, he kept it all in a large chest where every once in a while, he would take out his money and count it.

One day when he opened up his chest of money, he found that his money was shredded and mixed with mud. There had been a small hold in the bottom and a colony of ants had made the chest their home. In looking out for number 1, the village leader had lost it all, while, the village continued to be as needy as ever.

Though many feel that looking out for oneself above anything else is necessary, it is not really a desirable goal as people who are number l's often have conflict.

Competition and not cooperation is all too often the rule in a society such as ours. Is it a cold, hard world out there? If so, is it not because of individuals such as ourselves, looking out for # 1?

The West is very competitive. Our economy is based on competition, as well as other cherished liberal ideologies that

control our society, such as materialism and individualism.

Success is getting ahead of the others, another step closer to the North American dream. In the pursuit of things and selfish ambition, relationships and the inner being has suffered.

The thing that is so amazing is that many do not seem to care. Don't be surprised though! In looking out for #1, tough skin and hard hearts are essential.

Deep down we know that our social fabric is coming apart, yet, we move steadily onwards under a spell that we don'' t wish to break.

Wereallyareprisonersofourminds, products of what we think. Perhaps it is time we all took a closer look at some of the ideologies that reach out to enslave us.

Materialism is a hard taskmaster.

It's never satisfied. My economics textbook suggests that we are "unfortunate creatures" plagued with the problem of unlimited desire in a world of limited resources.

The ultimate goal is to transfer as much of this to one's own self as one can.

The reward is hopefully, a few years of financial security.

Obviously, material is needed for survival and quality oflife! But, when the interest in and the greed for money and possessions controls society, it dehumanizes

people, where things become all important and people become more expendable.

This philosophy is not limited to any particular class of people. either. It describes the rich industrialist who exploits others and the environment to fill his coffers with money, but it also includes the middle class and poor. They may not have the resources to engage in overt materialism, but they can be as strongly dominated by materialism in their fight for the advancement of self: a fight for #1 that ends in exhaustion or the grave!

The second governing ideology that is cutting away at society's gibber is out-ofcontrol individualism. It has served "well" in this Century.

Human freedom and creativity are some of its positive contributions.

However, it has also promoted intolerance, selfishness and indifference.

A strong focus on oneself will lead to astigmatism in how the world and others are viewed. Self-realization comes not only from personal reflection and activity, but also from learning to understand others.

One brings out the best in oneself when the best is brought out in others.

In the fight for one's rights, forgiveness and compassion have often been forgotten. Relationships are destroyed for the sake of things like career advancement

and otheroften selfishly motjvating factors.

The casualties of looking out for #l lay about all owrthe place. compri~ed not only of victims but of perpetrators as well.

Individualism has been a good aggregate for indifference. By asserting one's individuality without due thought ol others. the alienation of members in our society has grown.

Insensitivity and a bureaucratic type of attitude towards people in general makes the discovery of compassion and human warmth more precious than ever.

Until mutual respect and care for fellow human beings is no longer subservient to the ideology and practice of individualism, but on truly equal grounds, our communities will continue to become a more fragmented and hostile environment.

As social beings, such alienation of members within society that comes from "Looking out for #1" is unnatural and unhealthy.

Looking out for #1 is by its nature exploitive. Looking for security in this way only breeds more insecurity. Its a callous and lonely world out there when one focuses around the trilogy of self: me, myself and I. Society as a whole pays the price.

Who benefits? No one, but perhaps a colony of ants. Beware, an ant colony may be approaching!!

8

Human

Interest

hristianity, capitalisn the m.odern natio1

■

By David Thiessen ■ Illustration By Shawn Stetsko As I conversed with a Christian friend of mine from BCIT a few days ago, I was struck by a comment of his that went something like "far too much university time is spent digesting theory; what we need is a little more responsible education that will help his country productively."

A few days later I was talking to another Christian (Mennonite) friend. I asked him why, since the founder of his faith, Menno Simons, was such a radical thinker_ a theologian entirely opposed to both war and state control - so many Mennonites today embrace the state as literally "a gift of God", and thus not subject to severe criticism. His response simply left me dumbfounded: "the state today", he claimed, "is not nearly as evil as it was back then". It brought me right back to the comments made by my other friend, comments that questioned the need for thinking, and the so-called "value" of theory.

Somehow, it seems, we can look to the past and so easily see its shortcomings.

restrict the craftsperson to a specific trade, but that trade was entirely his. Going back even further, the Hebrew community enforced the Year of Jubilee every fifty years whereby all debts were forgiven and land returned to original owners. Usury (the practive of lending money for interest) was deemed immoral by the Hebrew and Medieval communities.

In Classical Greece,itwascommonsportfortheSpartan to comment that one always knew an athenian slave - he was better dressed than his master.

Thinkwhatyouwillofthesecultures, none of them maintained the inhumane notion that economics was simply a matter of fate (like our market) .• and the great problem of unemployment was left for Capitalsim to invent. In many ways these ancient cultures we often ridicule took care of their peasants, or slaves, better than we take care of our citizens.

Today we claim to live in a much more enlightened age. Slavery has been ,

For example, the fact ·•--------------that when Christianity M d Ch • t· •ty • was elevated to the status of the official in many ways, infinitely religion of Rome and began, in many ways, more loyal to mammon

a P P a r e n t 1y , abolished, and religious toleration has replaced the theocraticeffortsof the past. Yet ifwe

and the modern nationstate than it is to the founder of its faith.

lookcloselywewill discover that it is generally only our

_ o ern

to inflict on neighbouring peoples the same horrendous

treatment it had received earlier, is known by virtually every person on the street. Virtually any Canadian can describe, in detail, the evils of the Inquisition, witch hunts, missionary colonization, and forced conversion. The justification of racism, severe patriarchy, slavery, war, and murder by a generally Protestant fundamentalist literal reading of scripture is also a staple diet of the twentieth century appetite; it is taught to literally every primary, secondary, and postsecondary history student.

Certainly, it carmot be said that we have a difficulty in finding faults in the past; in fact, we enjoy this pastime so much that we often vilify the past, creating caricatures of many historical figures and events.

Time after time we read in texts, and listen to people discuss, the dictatorial nature of the Medieval Church and the strict hierarchical structure of the Manorial and Feudal system. Events like the house-arrest of Galileo by the Church fill our minds and textbooks; last year when the Catholic Church finally publicly apologized for the arrest, it made the news in virtually every majornewspaper in the world. Movies like TheNameof theRosefill our minds with images of a Medieval society consisting main! y of barbaric creatures, mere animals pawing in the ground for a bone to gnaw on.

Overandoverwearetoldofbattles,knights, and lords who dominated peasants.

Yet how many average Canadians today have been taught that in many ways these "strictly hierchical" scieties provided better for their people than we provide for ours. Itistruethatthepeasant wasobligated to work the land; but the lord was obligated to hive him land to work on. Guilds did

ris 1an1 1s,

Christian past that we find so easy to vilify; itis generally our pre-Christian or "secularizing" past that we tend to elevate.

It is true that today we discuss the fact that the Greek l2Q.li.swas founded on slavery, and we also discuss the brutal treatment of the early Christians by the hands of the Roman Empire. Yet ancient Greece, the conquests by Alexander the Great and the Roman Empire (up to its Christianizai.ion), are more often than not described in euphemistic terms cloaked in the rhetoric of glorious battle and presented in heroic imagery Hitler could only have dreamed of.

Why we refer to the RISE and FALL of the Roman Empire or the Third Reich is beyond me. What was so lofty about them? That they uprooted people everywhere they went, destroying millions of lives in the process?

We have the heroic Iliad. thegreatt Athenian pofo, the glorious feats of Alexander the Greattt, the Great Roman Empire, - SKIP A THOUSAND YEARS the artistic Renaissance that sought to recreate the glorious Classical past, the Glorious Revolution, the altruistic Bolshevik Revolution, etc., etc., etc. Yet the Middle Ages are still referred to as the "Dark" Ages, and people like Augustine and Aquinas generally probed for ammunition against their age instead of looking for some of the many pearls of wisdom that can be found within their writings. Why not the great witchhunts, or the glorious Inquisition?

Over and over we are told how Copernicus, Kepler, Bacon, Newton, Descartes, Voltaire, D' Alembert, etc., etc.,

"Menno Simons would roll over i many of his followers maj etc., all struggled against the Church's tyranny. Yet when the average Canadian, or eevn the university student, is confronted with a question to name any religious figures who fought against the expansion of the modem nation-sate, we are usually met with a blank stare. The fact that Alexander, the Roman Empire, Napoleon - and most certainly the modem Western Empire intent on homogenizing the world with its marriage of science, industry and progress - all enshrined within the modem nation -state werej ustas tyrannical, if not more, is seldom found within the twentieth century mind.

Coming from modem secularists and materialists, however, these deeply buried biases are almost forgivable; certainly, the Christian Church, in its most pervasive time, was just as blind to its own shortcomings.

What is absolutely sickening, however, is that it is not just the modem secularists that seem blind to the shortcomings of their faith: the popular Church itself today embraces -and applauds - the uncritical historical interpretation often offered of its own past, as well as the numbing brutality of the modem nation-

state. Galileo (we all know) was placed under house-arrest for breaking his government's law. The American Jesuit Priest Daniel Berrigan (who hardly anyone knows) received twelve years in prison for denting nuclear warheads with a hammer.

What-please tell me you Christians out there- is the difference? If anything, Berrigan should be looked upon as a prophet of peace, willing to risk his life to possibly save others; yet the majority of those few in the Church who know anything at all about him continue to crucify him.

Will we ever see the USA apologize publicly for this? And if they ever do, will it grace the pages of every majornewspaper in the world? Breaking the law in the secular state is seen - particularly by modem Christians - as utterly wrong and sinful. Yet these same Christians rise and applaud the law-breaking efforts of Galileo, Martin Luther, Menno Simons, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and a whole host of others. WHY, WHY, WHY? Why is it that we talk so loosely about the Napoleonic crusades and remain so utterly horrified by the Christian crusades

9

, and state: idolatry in the making by the biases of our age. It has brought in to the most central modem myth that our ultimate loyalties belong to the State; its laws, and the secular assumptions its laws are based upon -- have utterly been defied.

The writing, and inteipret.ation, of our hi~tory has been recorded through secular lenses so strong that for the life of us we cannot seem to come to grips with the fact that our modem era has indeed become the single greatest age of death the world has ever seen, and it is utterly tragic to find the

by some insideous, abstract, and utterly inhumane construction like the "market" or "national interest"; both were, and must become again, highly moral, ethical, and spiritual issues determined by human participation.

The St.ate today is less evil than at the end of the Middle Ages') Please write me back and tell me how. The ",uccess" of the modem nation-state has only been accomplished by ignoring the supremacy of God's creation, be that the en\'ironment or popular Christian community sucked into the human. its defense.

We need less theory?

On the As Mennonite writer Rudy Wiebe contrary, one of the main reasons the world so adequately described," ... if the twentieth - including the Church - is in the mess it is century belongs to any one nation, it is the today is because it has, generally speaking. nation of the dead ... that enormous nation forsaken theory. Einstein suggested th::it of the man-made dead that continues to theory dictates what we can obser\'e. In a develop with such dreadful, steady speed." dictatorial era that promotes secular and To be a nation today is to be either a materialist theory as much - in fact even war machine, or, for countries like Canada, greater - than the Middle Ages promoted dependent on mercenary contracts with spiritual theory, it is no wonder so many countries like the USA. All our patriotic today regard industry. scientific technology, sentimentstoday(inthe and progress, all win/lose scenario ----------------■ enshrined within modem nationalism the modem nationbas created) - whether state. as liberty and theybeconcemedwith progress: thatisall

Christianity today has been utterly stupefied by the biases of our age.

his grave if he could see the way · love to the secular state" a few centuries earlier? The Christian Crusades thundered through Europe with a cross held high, promising liberty on the other side of death, and forcing those who opposed them to be "freed from sin" against their will. Napoleon did the same, only instead of promising liberty on the other side of death he promised liberty on earth, and those who did not want his form of economic "liberty" were crushed in the stampede. Please tell me what is the difference? Why is it that we hurl insult after insult at the growth of W estem Christendom and cannot seem to take the same approach to the destruction created by the emergence of the secular Nation-State?

Why is it that we call Abraham Lincoln "the great emancipator of slaves" when he "freed" the slaves purely for economic reasons (as his refusal to allow a single "free" black to enter into his State attests) and remained utterly racist to his death?

Why do we see Winston Churchill as the great Statesman, when he was the one who called his fellow parliamentarians "squeamish" for not wanting to use, in his terms, "modem methods of warfare"

(poison gas) on Kurdish civilians?

Why are we so quick to ignore the fact that it was the secular nation-state under the technocratic impulse of the marriage between economic superiority and applied science - that ultimately produced World War One, Stalinism and the horrific Gulags, Hitler and his "final solution", Hiroshima, Nagasaki, the killings fields of Cambodia, Tibet, Laos, Vietnam and E. Timor, the modem dictators of Mussolini, Pinochet, Suharto, Sukharto, Somoza, Saddam, Amir, Edi Amin, Thatcher, Reagan, Bush, Assad, Cillar, Fahad, Li Peng, the tragedies of Armenia, Kurdistan, and the slaughter of millions and millions of aboriginal peoples around the world'?

Why is it that most Christians cannot see that secular materialism - Communist or Capitalist - has created such a vicious uniformity that millions today find their souls barely able to breathe, that creativity, as well as millions of hwnan lives, have been for centuries utterly sacrificed to productivity and economic growth?

The only possible answer is that Christianity today has been utterly stupefied

immigration or global economic policies like free trade - ultimately mean that when we rejoice at ''Canada's" economic upturns and "victories" we must - at the same time-rejoice at someone else's downturn or loss.

How can Christians today support the slaughter of Palestinians (5-Vi'cof which are Christians) by Israel? Christians sending money to Israel to slaugbterotherChristians?

How utterly ignorant have we become?

How can Christians - apparently thoroughly dedicated to the centrality of Jesus' admonition to love our neighbours as ourselves -allow something as inhumane as artificial boundaries decree who will live and who will die. who will recein· help and who will not? How can Christian Canadians allow themselves to be completely ruled by the utterly inhumane and anti-Christian foreign policies the USA has been promoting for decades?

Modem Christianity is, in many ways, infinitely more loyal to mammon and the modem nation-state than it is to the founderof its faith. It is. in fact. difficult for me to see anything Christian in it. For hundreds of years now most Christians have chosen to ignore the fact - and it is a fact - that that Jesus drank deeply from the wellspringsoflhe Jewish prophetic tradition, a tradition that sought to challenge ALL fom1s of oppression, and made no divisions, as we do today, between private and public morality.

The Jewish prophets never seperated the quest for inner peace from the quest for social justice, and those of us today who insist that Christianity must be myopically reduced to merely the inner private realm reveal just how trapped we are to capitalism and the modem secular state. Prior to the advent of Capitalism and the modem nation-state, economics and obedience to "the law" never were - and neither should they be today - determined

they have been given to see.

Theory. if u sect correctly, should act as a gadfly to contemporary assumptions. not. as is usually the case today. an apologist for merely a progressi\'e. applied. technocratic mentality.

Menno Simons would roll over in his grave ifhe could see the way many of his followers literally make love to the secular state -- and its addiction to war and wealth that he denied. If he could see the grand fences - complete with guards - that rich Mennonites erect around their luxurious subdivisions in order to keep out the "unwanl3bles". he would. I Lliink. change bis n:une as quickly as he could.

In essence. any Christian who w,hes the flag of either Communism. Capitalism lFree-Enterprise). or Nationalism commits the greatest sin of all: it has traditionally been called idolatry. S/he then places ideology - and secular ideology at that above the most important creation of God: the human being. \\'hen human beings become seen by Christians as merely a l.b.ulgto be exploited. as merely a means to an end - be that a commodity. some utopian ideal, productivity. corporate profit deficit reduction, welfare reform, immigration reform, cuts on foreign aid, "guarding" our borders from unwantables, or even the proclamation of "the truth", the Jesus who apparently spoke for ALL - regardless of artificial boundaries or profits-has become, essentially, a mere "recipe" transcribed into the "cookbooks" of modem fundamentalists.

The word "Christianity" has, over at least the last five hundred years, increasingly become a word that gives the illusion of carrying on the life and teachings of Jesus, while simultaneously being slowly drained of all its essential content. We are left, today, with little more that an empty, hollow shell.

10

.

Jay Kennington A.L.D. Benefit Dance featuring

DR. LIZARD 'WitliSpeciaf (jue.sts

BEDLAM and

DIRTY DICK and the TROJAN TEST PILOTS SATURDAY, APRIL 23rd at tfie

CENTRAL FRASER VALLEY EXHIBITION PARK (AG-REC) 32470 HAIDA DR., CLEARBROOK,BC (Cadet Building)

Entertainment

!F02{';[''ll'J\l'Ecoogg'ES

By Colleen Mah Aries (March 21-April 19) Don't be a birthday brat. We all have to learn to share the limelight. Expect big smiles and hugs on your special day, not blank cheques and diamond rings. Steak and lobster may be mice, but a little Kraft dinner with a loved one is even better. Go bowling, not ballroom dancing, and that way you won't have to worry about your date stepping on your toes. Happy B-day.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) Still searching for "Courage Mountain", but haven't mustered up the nerve to rent the movie? Well June Cleaver, it's time to break the mold. Let me remind you that NOTHINGinyourlifewillchange ...ifYOU don't. So go for the gusto, be brave and be a little risky. Go ahead, run with scissors I won't tell Mom. Gemini (May 21-June 21) You have a tendency to say ONE thing, but mean ANOTI-IER. Or maybe you actually meant both things but said them at different times. W ahtever the case, you are confusing the hell out of the people close to you!!!

You don't have split-personalities, it's just that you are so INDECISIVE! Don't be afraid to stick by your guns ...who wants to be a sheep anyways?!

Cancer (June 22-July 22) It's time to forgive and forget. We've only got ONE life together on this crazy planet and who wants to spend it arguing? Go ahead, call up your ex and ask him/her out forlunch. Yourtreat. Ifyoucan'tbelovers, you can always be friends. And if it doesn't worlc out, you can feel good knowing ·that you tried. Be the "good guy". It's a fairy tale that they always come in last.

Leo (July 22-Aug. 22) There are brief moments in life when everything becomes crystal-clear, and you know what really matters. Unfortunately it usually takes a crisis for us to recognize the things which we always take for granted.

Grab a Kleenex and get sentimental. Be thankful, yet only border-line mushy.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) All work and no play. That's no way to

enjoy the weekend. Take advantage of the sunshine and let your body soak up some harmful UV rays. Adopt a "devil-maycare" attitude and skip the sun block. Walk the dog, run through your lawn sprinkler in the buck. Go wild.

Libra (Sept. 23-0ct. 22) A little STRESSED out, are we? You are as frantic as a worm crossing a freeway during rush hour. What's the problem? If. you haven't learned anything by now it's not likely that you will in the next couple weeks.

Just cram like crazy and hope for the best.

Consume caffeine and campout in the library. Sleep? What's that? And you thought that your night-light was a miniature study lamp. Better luck next semester!

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Let those creative juices flow ...Write a new chorus for "Jingle Bells" or tie-dye your sister's hair. It's a time for self-expression and inspiration. Become a Peeping Tom, or Mary (whatever is more politically correct for you). Stand up and protest for a cause you only vaguely believe in. Get arrested.

A criminal record is always a good I conversation piece at border-crossings. Live a little.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Wakeup sleepy-head. You're just finishing your afternoon nap and the semester is almost over. Where have you been?

Napping on the couches? Crawl out of the pajamas and into some shorts! Spring has arrived while you were in hibernation, and so have exams!

Capr~icorn(Dec. 22-Jan 19) You gave gotten yourself into some deep financial investtnents. Make sure that you are ready for the ~sponsibilities and keep your fingers crossed. Maintain a positive outlook and worlc hard towards your goal.

Don't rush in, (that's only for FOOLS).

You do not want to be eating peanut-butter and jam sandwiches for the rest of your life.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You'd better eat your Lucky Charms for breakfast, because the future looks uncertain.

Cheques bounce, dogs bite, your kid breaks a leg. It's a little grim. But that's the way the cookie crumbles. Keep your chin up.

The Spring showers will wash it all away.

Blue Light Special

Liquor will be served - NO MINORS Photo I.D. Required

The tank is empty

Doors Open At 8:00 P .M.

By Michelle Demers

For Ticket Information, or To Make a Donation, Please Call 852-9588 or 850-9248.

ALL PROCEEDS OF THIS SHOW GO TO THE KENNINGTON FAMILY and B.C. CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL.

Come and enjoy a night of original Rock 'n' Roll!

OK. I'm stressed, you're stressed and we're all in really bitchy moods so I'll get to the point.

It's the end of the semester and I've run out of cheap things to do, see, and eat.

While the experience has been enjoyable, like all good things, it must come to an end.

Bryan, Jill, Monique, Doug-it's been a slice and an adventure keeping the paper and the Arizona afloat.

The Blue Light is now burnt out and I bid you all adieu.

The CASCADE wishes to thank the following for their support over the past year: Express Pizza The Liberal Party Subs 'N Greens Rhino Cappuccino Burger King (Chilliwack) Sevenoaks Coiffures Towne Cinema Hercules Restaurant

Greg's Place Ward's Gym Kettle Creek Clothing Company Sound Effects Twilight Zone Tattoos Cineplex Odeon Theatres KatzKlub

Fred's Custom Tackle Mail Boxes Etc. Apollo Pizza Biting Image Pedal Sports Earthquake Annie's Little Oskars University of Northern B.C.

Their support and sponsorship of our publication is much appreciated.

11

CANADIAN

EAR TO THE GROUND

Movie, what movie? But the soundtrack. • • A Review of the Music From The Original Motion Picture The Crow (Atlantic).

By Dallas J. These days, no motion picture experience is complete without a soundtrack that contains some pretty cool artists performing songs that you hear to a total of five seconds in the actual movie.

I have not yet seen "The Crow" on the big screen, nor do even know what it is about, but if I could get suckered in to watching a movie simply for the soundtrack, this show will have my $5.50.

Leading off the album is The Cure with "Burn" and though i may not be their biggest fan, I must say that the band's creepy monotony fits well with a song of visionary torment.

- Machines Of Loving Grace have "Golgotha Tenement Blues" which is a testament to the Manchester-distortionsleaze style. Not bad.

- Stone Temple Pilots: "Plush"+ "Creep" = "Big Empty" - Nine Inch Nails covering Joy Division's "Dead Souls"? It's TrentReznorathismost accessible. Kind of like a NIN starter's kit.

- "Darkness" is another chance for Rage Against The Machine to go on another tirade. Hey guys, how about a structure change?

- Violent Femmes with "Colour Me Once" makes me think that I should go into their back-catalog and explore. Kinda spooky.

- Rollins Band's "Ghostrider" should not

be played any lower than 98% of your stereo's volume capability. Play it loud and throw stuff out the window.

- Helmet may be one of the only bands that could possibly match the previously mentioned in earth-sh ...king ability.

"Milktoast" is the proof.

-Pantera, "TheBadge": Wait,nowitgoes Rollins Band at numberone, then Pantera, and then Helmet. I saw them in concert once. Scary!

-It's too bad that For Love Not Lisa got placed at this point at the album. "Slip S tide Melting" sounds redundant.

- The way of the future, My Life With J'he Thrill Kill Kult shows that "After The Flesh", there is just sex and crucifixion.

Loud and chaotic. Very cool.

- The Jesus And mary Chain remind us with "Snakedriver" that they were the first to do this monotonous distortion thing and they still do it best (if that's possible).

-Medicine, ''Time Baby III": Hey, when did The Breeders team up with Radiohead?

They didn't? Oh. - Hell, I give Jane Siberry credit for surprise. Whoever decided to put "It Can't Rain All The Time" on here should get a nice cash bonus. Fantastic contrast to the unrelenting drive of the rest of the album: good song as a stand alone, too.

Ov~rall, "The Crow" is very much worth your money. What happens if the movie sucks? Who cares? At least Brandon Lee doesn't have to take the heat for it!

Feeling Lucky?

By Nolan Webb Well, theJunoshavecomeandgone again, and as I correctly prophesied, there was a large component of bullshit (i.e.

SNOW performing live, Elite backpatting, Roch Voisine' s hosting abilities, etc. etc ...)

Deepest regards for those who unknowingly watched this horrid misrepresentation of Canadian music. Oh will, there's always Music West to look forward to ...

INDIE SPOTLIGHT SALVADOR DREAM - Sff This is great no-bullshit Vancouver rock and roll. It could be compared to Moist but with more spunk and no lame keyboards. All the songs on this CD have a great flavour.

You'll be hearing from these guys again as they signed to Warner last year.

SPIRITUAL HEROINE- Sff This is cxld music ...not bad at all...just cxld. Try and picture an alternative· flavour with the sharply contrasting, yet amazing, voice of Camille laid beautifully overtop. Its kind of like a cold shower in the summer, it refreshes while it startles. Giveitatry. 746E. Pender St. Vancouver, BC, V6A 1V7.

HOCKEY TEETH/MR. NOBODY These two Ontario bands are of the energetic and fun variety. It's essentially rock/punk,

but its definitely the lyrics that are most important here.

Patriotic and hockey lovers to boot (check out Mr. Nobody's 'Orange Pucks and Mighty Ducks) these two bands are assured to keep a barroom of Canadians smiling for hours on end. 64 Blakemanor Blvd.

Scarborough, Ontario, MIJ

2W5 LOSSEAMONSTERS-THE ANDYFOOTEP This popular

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Kingston band have all the requirements· for success.

They've got a great overall sound - rock and pop. They've got strong vocals - kudos to Billy Death. And most of all they've got a strong following. Well, count one more fan, cause I'm hooked. Box 21003 Kingston, Ontario, K7L lC0 METHOD 2 MADNESS - srr don't let the name fool you, this isn't some lame Hip Hop special, it's anything but. They describe themselves as an attitude and it's true, as this Regina band sounds like they've had it with crappy pop bands. Their sound is catchy, driving, and really full of passion.

The highlight is the opener ·sexual Dynamo'. This tune and the others are destined for radio success as this is wellrecorded material from a band on the rise.

3010 Phanuef Cres. Regina, Sask., S4V 1T6

GOOD EATS WITH JILL

Where the sinfully delicious can be found

By Jill Br-yant Fittingly, as dessert comes at the end of a meal, this column on dessert comes at the end of the year.

Dessert, being the most important food group, deserves a place of honour in the Good Eats scheme of things.

Here it is, my last contribution to your gastronomic fulfillment. Enjoy!

Jill's Top Ten Dessert Haunts: IO. Smitty· s - I know Smitty's-type banality has previously been a no-no. but this Cherry Pie is great with lots of coffee and long talks with friends.

9. Bedford House, Fort Langley Bakewell Tart is my pick here. For those of you who don't have a clue what a Bakewell Tart is. go to their Sunday Brunch and ask for it - trust me.

8. Le Meridian, Vancouver Croissant Bread and Butter Pudding that is famous on the Brunch scene in Vancouver.

Although not a personal fave, I've been told it's very good.

7. Dairy Queen - Can't get out of this one without a mention of Banana Splits - one can develop an addiction to these quite easily. That's okay I say, as there's fruit on it, so it's healthy!

5. Pan Pacific. Vancouver- Again a Sunday Brunch special. the Chocolatedipped Strawberries are ripe. cold and heawnly. W AR.:.~I'.\G:experience dictates that I must say that excessive amounts of strawbenies and chocolate can make one ill. so have a little restraint.

4. Calico Cupboard. La Conner. \VA-A touristy. quaint little restaurant in a touristy. quaint little t0\\11. but they bake all their 0\\11breads and desserts. especially the 4-inch high Chocolate Silk Pie. Just like it sounds. Ambrosia.

3. The Keg in the Valley- anyone who reads this column would know that I absolutely adore Momentary Madness just go and try it already!

2. Earl's - a good standby restaurant, a great dessert with coffee and deep conversation - Mocha Kaluha Pie. Do yourself a favour and save room after dinner.

1. Banners Restaurant, in the Seattle Sheraton, Seattle, WA - The ultimate for those who desire dessert-the 27-footallyou-can-eat dessert bar just groans under the weight of so much chocolate. Diet, schmiet-just skip dinner and head straight for the Grasshopper Pie. No insects involved, just chocolate and mint. Just don't blame me if they have to roll you out of there!

Bryan Sikora Photo

6.

Dutch Mother's

Restaurant,

Spinning the wheel of fortune - misfortune to some - at Student Day on April Lynden, WA - This restaurant is almost 7 is Paul Klein. Students could try their luck at various casino games, then bid chokingly quaint, but the Almond Tarts on merchandisedonated by communitybusinesseswith the funny money they are divine. had won.

So there you have it, the ten most ultimate places to consume mass quantities of everything you• re not supposed to- but after this hellish year, faithful readers, you deserve it!

12

Sports

Reflecting on the memories

• • •

During a timeout, Paula Begley, Laura Brassington and Amber Mytting (1-r) intently listen to the coach's plan of attack.

Danielle Moe led her team, both on and off the court, to a Canadian Silver Medal.

Brandee Fort, reaching for the top, is out-jumped by her opponent in the first game of the tournament (above).

Despite placing second in Canada, Shandia Cordingley and Arbee McKenzie agonize over their loss in the final match of the CCAA National Basketball Championships.

13

• • •

a tribute to the Lady Cascades Presenting the Team:

Showing who's number one, Megan Thomas (left) and Shandia Cordingley ham it up at the Opening Ceremonies of the National Basketball Championships.

Denise Rehman (#8) beats the Nomade defender to the inside during the final game of the tournament.

Megan Thomas Carol Vinson Denise Rehman Tricia Grant Brandee Fort Sue Parke Danielle Moe Amber Mytting Shandia Cordingley Arbee McKenzie Laura Brassington Paula Begley Coach: Sandy Chambers Asst. Coach: Sherrey Harris Manager: Colleen Sullivan

Shooting over the defence, Tricia Grant (#10) goes for two in the Gold Medal game.

■ Photos

by Bryan Sikora

at the CCAA National Basketball Championships in Lethbridge, Alta.

One must not forget the diehard fans who have supported the Cascades through their season, especially those who bared their blue and green souls to all (below).

14

Sports NHL Playoff Preview: An unpaid professional's guide to the Stanley Cup ■A

team by team synopsis of the hopefuls and the hopeless.

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~~

1. New York Rangers (49W-23L- 7T, 105 points: 1st Atlantic Division) Season Review: The Rangers, aka Edmonton East, are the most well-balanced tearn in the league. Solid group of forwards

Tocchet, and part-time superstar Mario Lemieux). Best set of forwards (Lemieux, Jagr, Stevens, Tocchet. Francis, Mullen, Straka, Sandstrom) since the mid-80's Oilers. Underrated D led by powerplay specialist Larry Murphy and cheap-shot specialistUlfSamuelsson. GTomBarrasso is experienced but inconsistent.

Playoff Prognosis: Anxious to avenge last year's shocking upset by the New York Islanders. Coach Eddie Johnston has little playoff experience (all more than 10 years ago}, and may be outfoxed by more experienced coaches (Keenan, Demers, etc.). Ifreasonablyhealthy, VERY difficult to beat. If Mario is 100%, another minor miracle will be required.

Key Problems: 1. Mario's back. He needs a new one.

2. Over confidence. Penguins tend to be arrogant SOB's, and it could be their undoing again.

4.1\lontreal Canadiens (39-26-14, 92: 2nd Northeast) Season Review: Defending Stanley Cup champs have had another strong season.

Patrick Roy remains the league's best goaltender. No stars on offence or defence, but they play a strong team game.

Playoff Prognosis: Jacques Demers' charges have a decent shot to repeat. Need offensive leadership from Vinnie Damphousse and hardrock Kirk Muller.

It' 11bedifficult to duplicate last year's trick (10 consecutive overtime wins).

Key Problems: 1. Have troubles

Boston.Hasekneedstoduplicatehisregularseason success.

Key Problems: 1. Over dependence on Hasek.

2. Need more goals. Return of Lafontaine and L W Craig Simpson will help.

7. Washington Capitals (36-32-10, 82: 3rd Atlantic)

3 goals per game. Of course, they rarely let in more than 3.

9. New York Islanders (32-35-11, 75: 5th Atlantic) Season Review: After an excellent 92-93 season, the Isles are fighting for their playoff lives in 1994. The team has underachieved for most of the year, but is coming around and may catch Florida. C

led by ex-Oilers Mark Messier anci Adam Graves. Offensive defencemen Brian Leetch and Sergei Zubov are also prominent. G Mike Richter has been excellent, but hasn't had playoff success in the past.

Playoff Prognosis: The Blueshirts look good to win their first Cup since 1940.

Ex-Oilers Messier, Graves, Anderson, Tikkanen, MacTavish, Lowe have a ton of postseason experience, as does coach Mike "Hitler" Keenan.

Key Problems: 1. Aging blueline corps is suspect.

2. Pittsburgh. Rangers do not match up well against Pens' offensive machine.

2. New Jersey Devils (45-23-11, 101: 2nd Atlantic) Season Review: The no-name Devils have been a big surprise this year.

Unspectacular offence led by veteran wingers John MacLean and Stephane Richer. Norris candidate Scott Stevens is a tower of strength on defence. Chris Terreri and rookie sensation Martin Brodeur have both been excellent in goal.

Playoff Prognosis: Jacques Lemaire' s team plays playoff-style defensive hockey, but may not have the guns to win four rounds. Brodeur has no playoff experience. New Jersey should win their first playoff series since 1988, but will be hard-pressed to win more than one.

Key Problems: 1. Offence could dry up at any time.

2. Can't beat the Rangers (0-6); 3. Pittsburgh Penguins (40-25-13, 93: 1st Northeast) Season Review: Pittsburgh has remained strong despite serious injuries to key people (G Tom Barrasso, RW Rick

winning on the road.

2. Patrick Roy must be spectacular every night for Habs to win. Can he do it two years in a row?

5. Boston Bruins (39-26-13, 91: 3rd Northwest) Season Review: Brian Sutter' shardworking team has been strong all year, but are in serious trouble. 50-goal man Cam Neely is gone for the season. Superstar D Ray Bourgue is currently injured, but should return for the playoffs. G Jon Casey is alternately brilliant and horrible.

Playoff Prognosis: Sorry, Grapes.

Bruins will compete in the playoffs for the 27th straight year, but not for long. Loss of Neely and Joe Juneau (gone to Washington in bizarre Al Iafrate trade) will betoo much.

Only hope is to win division and face easier opponent (likely Washington).

Key Problems: 1. Offence.

Playmaker Adam Oates will set up ...who?

Bryan Smolinski? Ted Donato? The stickboy?

2. See above.

6. Buffalo Sabres (41-29-9), 91: 4th Northeast) Season Review: Unbelievable success for a team that lost its best player (150-point man Pat Lafontaine) after 20 games. Shifted gears from wide-open to tight-checking style. Offence, led by Dale Hawerchuk and Alexander (no extortion please) Mogilny, is limited, but Lafontaine might return for the playoffs. G Dominik Hasek has been amazing.

Playoff Prognosis: Will be competitive, but may have trouble scoring enough goals to win. Has had great success against division opponents Montreal and

Season Review: Team Bland. Noname offence led by recent acquisition Joe Juneau. Excellent defence (Kevin Hatcher, Sylvain Cote, et al), but questionable goaltending from ancient Don Beaupre prevents this team from becoming a serious threat.

Playoff Prognosis: Not great, but have a good record against possible 1st round opponents Pittsburgh and Montreal.

Need production from their soft Europeans (Pivonka, Bondra, Khristich). For the Caps to have a chance, Dale Hunter will have to injure the opposition's best player in the first game of a series this year.

Key Problems: 1. Goal tending sucks.

2. Not much past success in playoffs.

8. Florida Panthers (32-32-14, 78: 4th Atlantic) Season Review: Florida is set to become the first true expansion team to finish above .500 and make the playoffs since the 1927 New York Rangers. An excellent work ethic, superb coaching from Roger Neilson, and outstanding goaltending from John Vanbiesbrouck and Mark Fitzpatrick have made the Panthers competitive in tough Eastern Conference.

Playoff Prognosis: Will cause troubles for any 1st round opponent. Popgun offence, led by journeyman forwards Bob Kudelski and Scott Mellanby, is not enough for them to progress far in the postseason.

Ex-Rangers Neilson and Vanbiesbrouck would love to eliminate their former team.

Key Problems: 1. Vanbriesbrouck muststop40plus shots per game for Panthers to win.

2. Panthers can't score more than 2-

Pierre Turgeon and G Ron Hextall must be prominent for the Isles to succeed.

Playoff Prognosis: Assuming they make it, the Islanders could be trouble in the postseason. They're betteroffensively than Florida, and superior defensively to Philadelphia. Likely 1st round opponent New York Rangers have great difficulty winning on Long Island.

Key Problems: 1. Offence. Steve Thomas and Ray Ferraro must back up Turgeon like they did in the 93 playoffs.

2. Hextall is a hot/cold goalie.

(RemembertheMontreal/Quebec series last year?)

10. Philadelphia Flyers (34-38-7, 75: 6th Atlantic) Season Review: After an awesome start, the Flyers have dropped in the standings to where they're in danger of missing the playoffs for the fifth straight year. Powerful offence is led by superbrat Eric Lindros, Rod Brind' Amour, Mark Recchi, and rookie Mikael Renberg.

Defence and goaltending are big question marks.

Playoff Prognosis: Less likely to cause trouble than Panthers or Islanders in the postseason. Flyers score lots of goals, but can't keep any out. Compared to other Eastern goalies (Roy, Hasek, Richter, Vanbiesbrouck}, Dominic Roussel and Tommy Soderstrom can't cut it.

Key Problems: 1. Bad goaltending.

2. Worse defence.

By Jonathon Dowd • The signs of spring are here. Baseball season is starting. There's a smell of death (or is it final exams?) in the air. And the long NHL regular season is finally drawing to a close.

With league parity and the new playoff format, accurate predictions are made ridiculously difficult.

At the moment this article is being written, there are no set playoff matchups (teams still have 5-6 games to play), so picking winners of individual series is impossible.

Instead, I' II review the teams who' II start competing for the Stanley Cup on April 17.

Note: Philadelphia and the New York Islanders are included because at this time (April 3), they have a reasonable chance of catching Florida for the last Eastern playoff spot.

Anaheim and Quebec, although mathematically alive at this point, don't have a hope in Hell of making the playoffs, so they're not included.

Eastern Conf ere nee

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......._ Penguins' netminderTom Barrasso bas playoff experience, but the team's arrogance could be their undoing.

Western Conference 1. Detroit Red Wings (44-27-7, 95: 1st Central) Season Review: Wings have the best

15

A roadmap to the Stanley Cup (cont.) forwards in the league when Pittsburgh isn't heal thy. C Sergei Fedorov will finish 2nd in NHL scoring behind Gretzky and is a strong MVP candidate. RW Ray Sheppard gives Detroit two 50-goal scorers. C Steve Yzennan and D Paul Coffey remain among the best in the game. Big problems in goal.

Playoff Prognosis: After last year's lstroundexit, Wings' managementrealized G Tim Cheveldae was not the man to backstop them toa Cup. Unfortunately, Bob Essensa, acquired from Winnipeg for Cheveldae, has been rotten since arriving in Motown. The most skilled team in the West, but their goaltending makes them vulnerable.

Key Problems: l .Essensa has never won an important playoff game for Winnipeg-why should he start winning now for Detroit?

2. Toronto. Wings lose regularly to hard working Leafs.

2. Toronto Maple Leafs (40-27-12, 92: 2nd Central) Season Review: Once again, the Leafs have overachieved under coach Pat Burns. Hard work and timely scoring are Toronto's keys to success. Doug Gilmour, Dave Andreychuk, and Wendel Clark provide all of their offence. G Felix Potvin has had a strong year but has struggled recently, as have the rest of the Leafs.

Playoff Prognosis: Leafs will have to outwork their opponents every night for them to win. Mike Gartner, John Cullen, and Nikolai Borschevsky must contribute offensively. Gilmour can't do everything by himself, despite what Don Cherry thinks.

Key Problems: 1. Lack of goalscoring depth.

2. Has trouble against other lows scoring, tight-checking teams.

3. Dallas Stars (39-27-12, 90: 3rd Central) Season Review: Hockey in Texas has been a pleasant surprise. Plays much like New Jersey. Limited offence led by speedsters Mike Modano and Rusty Courtnall. Strong defensive squad, but missing blueline leader Mark Tinordi, who is out for the year. G Andy Moog is experienced, but a little long in the tooth.

Playoff Prognosis: Bob Gainey' s sty le is well-suited to the postseason. Check, check, check, until the other team makes a mistake. Modaqo, Courtnall and Dave Gagner must score regularly for low-scoring Stars to prosper.

Key Problems: 1.Offence. See above.

2. Andy Moog. Might come out second-best in a goaltending battle with Blues' Curtis Joseph.

4. Calgary Flames (38-27-13, 89: 1st Pacific) Season Review: Dave King's squad has been decimated by injuries all year, but is rounding into fonn now. Balm1cedoffence• with Niewendyk, Roberts, Fleury, and Reichel. Ex-Whalers Zarley Zalapski and James Patrick will bolster the Al Macinnisled defence. Mike Vernon and Trevor Kidd are solid in goal.

Playoff Prognosis: Look like the best team in the West at this point. Have fewer weaknesses than Toronto or Detroit. Joe Nieuwendyk must be healthy for Flames to advance far. Calgary has a tendency to selfdestruct in the playoffs.

Key Problems: 1. Discipline. Flames have a history of playing smart during the regular season, then gooning it up in the playoffs.

2. Are 0-4 against Dallas this year.

5. St. Louis Blues (37-31-9, 83: 4th Central) Sea'ion Review: New players Steve Duchesne, Petr Nedved, Peter Stastny, and Phil Housley, along with veteran snipers

Brett Hull and Brendan Shanahan, make the Blues a dangerous offensive team. The return of Craig Janney, whose whining about his knee would make him a good match for Nancy Kerrigan, adds another excellent playmaker to the list. G Curtis Joseph is among the finest in the league.

Playoff Prognosis: Difficult to say.

Powerful lineup, but several key players (Nedved, Janney, Duchesne, Housley) are soft physically and may be intimidated by tough Toronto or Dallas teams. If Cujo is hot, the Blues could go places. If not, they'll go home.

Key Problems: 1. Character. Other than Shanahan, this team lacks necessary grit 2. Defence. Joseph will have to stop 40-50 shots per game almost every night.

6. Vancouver Canucks (39-37-3, 81: 2nd Pacific) Season Review: Tear. Inconsistent Haven't had a hot streak since October.

Capable offence is led by sizzling Pavel Bure, who hasaveraged a goal a game in the second half of the season (ask Tom Larscheid). McLean and Whitmore are solid but unspectacular in goal. Ex-Blues Jeff Brown and Bret Hedican should improve an accident-prone defence, but by how much?

Playoff Prognosis: The weakness of ·the Western Conference gives. the Canucks a shot if they get hot. Ronning, Courtnall,andpoutycaptainTrevorLinden must produce, as Bure will be shadowed by every shift. Kirk McLean must prove to the cynical fans ~the can win the big games.

Key Problems: 1. Overdependence on Bure for offence.

2. Defence.

Patrick Roy will have to be incredible AGAIN for the Montreal Canadiens to repeat as Stanley Cup Champion,;.

Stanley Cup Prediction:

A

tough call, as all playoff poolsters know already. The East has better teams and an easier travel schedule, so expect the winner to be from there. The Rangers, Penguins, and Canadiens look to be the strongest contenders at this time. The West is up for

his previous form, pick Pittsburgh. If Bob Essensa becomes hot, pick Detroit. If the rest of the league dies of AIDS, pick Vancouver. Otherwise ...

We've seen southern California go crazy over playoff hockey. Why not Texas?

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wi!l the <:~p? If Mario regains

Atlanta's Chop w1·11 I IeaV e Toronto B ue

Can a team with .-------------------------------,

stumblebumsDanaMurzynandJiriSlegr win a tight-checking series?

7. Chicago Blackhawks (35-34-9, 79: 5th Central) Season Review: Typical Chicago season. Great defence. Shitty offence.

Overrated goaltending from Eddie Bel four, Despit recent pickups Tony Amonte and Paul Ysebaert, the only dangerous forward is C Jeremy Roenick. Bad boys Chris Chelios and Gary Suter head an excellent blueline squad, but the loss of Steve Smith will hurt.

Playoff Prognosis: Desperately Seeking Scoring. Late regular season slump could turn into postseason slaughter. If the Hawks run into a hot goalie, they have no chance. A good chance that the Suttercoached teams (Brian in Boston, Darryl in Chicago) will be eliminated early again.

Key Problems: 1. Can't score. See above.

2. Ed Belfour. Has great regular season stats. Don't be fooled. Opposition shooters won't be.

8. San Jose Sharks (31-33-15, 77: 3rd Pacific) Season Review: After an abysmal (0-8-1) start, the Sharks have turned their season around and will make their firstever playoff appearance. G Arturs Irbe has been spectacular all season long. Offence is led by former Soviet greats Larionov and Makarov. Ex-Star UlfDahlen and D Sandis Ozolinsh are also key players.

Playoff Prognosis: Recent hot streak (6-0-2 as of April 3) bodes well for the Sharks. With a strong performance; by Irbe, San Jose could engineer a major upset.

Key Problems: 1. Lack of playoff experience.

2. Can never let up. Need all aspects of game to be sharp in order to beat better teams.

.

By Jeff Tisdale March madness, NHL trading deadline, and term projects coming due for the winter semester can only indicate one thing: the boys of summer are back.

Last season had its high and low points. One game after Carlton Fisk broke Bob Boone's games caught record. the Chicago White Sox disrespectfully cut and waived him. Certainly no way to treat a sure Hall of Farner who played nearly 20 years in the league.

As one catcher was lea Yingthe game another was just beginning to make a name for himself: Tommy LaSorda"s godson.

Mike Piazza.

LaSonia, as a favour to Bob Piazza, drafted Mike in the last round of the 1989 supplemental draft.

As it turned out it was Piazza who did the favour to LaSonia by leading all National League catchers in most offensive categories, along with picking up NL rookie of the year award.

Perhaps the biggest highlight of last summer was when number 9 of the Jays flirted with .400 into mid-August.

Johnny 'O' was oh-so-wonderful as he set career marks in home runs, doubles, hits, RBI' sand stolen bases. Many attribute his success to the "older brother" guidance of Paul Molitor, who helped John onto his first batting title.

When the season ended, baseball fans

were left with four teams to root for. The "All Canadian" Blue Jays. Atlanta Bra\·es.

Chicago\\ 'bite Sox. and the tobacco spitting. loudmouthed. cussing Philadelphia Phillies.

So as the dust settled on a wild and emotional playoff between Toronto and Philadelphia. Canadians eYerywhere had a new sports icon to dream about: Joe Carter.

His series winning home run in the bottom of the ninth has been compared in terms of national pride to that of Paul Henderson in 1972.

There is one thing for certain about baseball in 1993. it will be an awfully long time before that kind of fever and dramatics are duplicated. \\'hat about 1994 though? Well. it's not only my opinion. but that to most baseball writers that Atlanta and Toronto will meet in the final this year. A replay of 1992. yet there will unmistakably be different results.

Atlanta is too loaded with talent, and to determined to not win the pennant this year. Their only weakness in the past wa,; that they had no real closer.

This year they have four: Greg Olson, Mike Stanton, Greg McMichal, and Mark Wholers.

So if one can't get the job done, Manager Bobby Cox simply has to phone down into the bull pen to get another closer.

There is just no way they can't win it all, even if they tried not to.

But then again, one shouldn't forget the '69 Cubs.

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