The Cascade Vol. 26 Issue 9

MARCH 14 TO MARCH 21, 2018

VOLUME 26 ISSUE 9

Naughty by nature since 1993

UFV presents 2018/19 budget.

Barbie: now featuring a hijab-wearing fencer & an Olympic snowboarder.

Traversing genre lines.

WWW.UFVCASCADE.CA

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

Editorial // STAFF Editor-in-Chief Joel Robertson-Taylor joel@ufvcascade.ca Business Manager Quintin Stamler quintin@ufvcascade.ca

Managing Editor Kat Marusiak kat@ufvcascade.ca

Opinion Editor Jeff Mijo jeff@ufvcascade.ca

Production Assistant Renée Campbell renee@ufvcascade.ca

Features Editor Joel Robertson-Taylor joel@ufvcascade.ca Culture & Events Editor Cassie de Jong cassie@ufvcascade.ca

Illustrator Amara Gelaude amara@ufvcascade.ca

Arts in Review Editor Martin Castro martin@ufvcascade.ca

Illustrator Simer Haer simer@ufvcascade.ca

Staff Writer Aleister Gwynne aleister@ufvcascade.ca

Columnist Mike Friesen mike@ufvcascade.ca Online Editor Jeff Mijo jeff@ufvcascade.ca

Staff Writer Jennifer Klassen jen@ufvcascade.ca Distributor Alena Zheng distributor@ufvcascade.ca

THIS WEEK’S CONTRIBUTORS Sierra Rai Ekanki Chawla Manveer Dhaliwal

Cover: Renée Campbell Back Cover: Caleb Campbell

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@UFVCASCADE FACEBOOK.COM/UFVCASCADE INSTAGRAM.COM/THE.CASCADE Volume 26 · Issue 9 Room S2111 33844 King Road Abbotsford, BC V2S 7M8 604.854.4529 The Cascade is UFV’s autonomous student newspaper. It originated under its current name in 1993, and achieved autonomy from the university and the Student Union Society in 2002. This means that The Cascade is a forum for UFV students to have their journalism published in an entirely student-run setting. It also acts as an alternative press for the Fraser Valley.

The Cascade is funded with UFV student funds, and is overseen by the Cascade Journalism Society Board, a body run by a student majority. The Cascade is published every Wednesday with a print circulation of 1,000 and is distributed at Abbotsford, Chilliwack (CEP), Clearbrook, and Mission UFV campuses and throughout the surrounding communities.

The Cascade is open to written, photo, and design work from all students; these can come in the form of a pitch to an editor, or an assignment from an editor. Writers meetings are held every second Monday at 12:00 p.m. in The Cascade’s office on the Abbotsford campus.

In order to be published in the newspaper, all work must first be approved

by The Cascade’s editor-in-chief, copy editor, and corresponding section editor. The Cascade reserves the right to edit submissions for clarity and length. The Cascade will not print any articles that contain racist, sexist, homophobic or libellous content. Letters to the editor, while held to the same standard, are unedited, and should be under 200 words. As The Cascade is an autonomous student publication, opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect that of UFV, The Cascade’s staff and collective, or associated members.

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(not the homies)

News Editor Jessica Barclay jessica@ufvcascade.ca

Production Manager Caleb Campbell caleb@ufvcascade.ca

Copy Editor Cat Friesen cat@ufvcascade.ca

Who’s down with TPP?

JOEL ROBERTSON-TAYLOR EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

For those that crumble in discouragement every time the government’s right hand passes legislation that the left said it wouldn’t, here’s a doozy.

Last week, Canada signed a revised Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP), which at first felt like a sucker punch to the gut marked by a, “I thought we voted the Conservatives out?” but was later slightly soothed by a realization that the new agreement left some of the most detrimental stipulations out.

Unfortunately, from the sounds of it, only some.

Are we happy about the deal? Certainly not. It’s hard to get pumped about a government deal when most of what’s known about it is sourced from Wikileaks. The TPP was vehemently criticized partially because it was negotiated behind closed doors.

Practically everyone who’ll be affected by the deal was shut out from discussion.

The new TPP, nimbly named the Comprehensive and Progressive Agreement for Trans-Pacific Partnership (CPTPP), will purportedly reduce tariffs in member countries, which according to The Economist make up more than 13.5 per cent of the global economy — $10 trillion. If the United States had remained a part of the deal, it would have been about 40 per cent.

What it actually seeks to do, despite being called a trade partnership, is influence labour, the environment, intellectual property, and government procurement. “Of TPP’s 30 chapters, only six dealt with traditional trade issues,” Public Citizen reported.

As Zaid Jilani, writing for The In-

tercept noted, the deal isn’t about free trade, it’s about protecting global corporate profits, and promotes protectionist, anti-competitive policies.

The dangers of the TPP are lengthy, but not terribly complex. It’d be worth spending a coffee break or two reading about them.

By now, Canadians know that Trudeau isn’t interested in keeping promises. I think most of us expected Canada to sign the TPP (or whatever form it would ultimately take). At least this CPTPP isn’t as bad as the TPP. For a bit of context, in a pre-election statement, Trudeau said, “If the Liberal Party of Canada earns the honour of forming a government after October 19th, we will hold a full and open public debate in Parliament to ensure Canadians are consulted on this historic trade agreement.”

And they sort of did, they just didn’t do anything about it. According to Global Affairs documents obtained through an Access to Information request made by The Council of Canadians, two out of more than 18,000 Canadians who wrote to the government in regards to the consultation supported the TPP. That means only 0.01 per cent of consultation participants supported the deal. I’m not a statistician, so I won’t offer an opinion on these complex numbers.

Naturally, Ottawa went through with the deal.

The original planned signing was Feb. 4, last year. For all the criticism old Donny gets and deserves, his backing out of the TPP three days after inauguration wasn’t just the best thing he’s done, it was simply a great decision. It allowed Canadians to continue to push against Ottawa’s impu-

dence.

The 11 remaining nations, led by Canada and Japan, finalized a revised trade pact in January. But as noted, there was a small upside, and this was largely due to Canada’s negotiations, influenced by its citizens.

Twenty-two of the TPP’s provisions were suspended, reducing the total number of pages in the agreement from 632 to 580, according to The Economist. These provisions were from chapters on trade facilitation, investment, services, public procurement, intellectual property rights, the environment, and transparency.

Back in November, when the 11 countries agreed on core TPP elements, Trudeau didn’t sign an agreement-in-principle on the updated TPP, arguing Canada had concerns about the pact's culture and the automotive sectors, the CBC reported. To protect Canadian cultural industries, Canada arranged to sign side letters with every other CPTPP member country.

Even though this looks like a loss — the CPTPP signed — a subtle resonance of citizen outcry can be felt. The reason I’m calling this a partial victory is because Ottawa sort of listened to citizens’ concerns. Ottawa was going to sign the partnership no matter what Canadians had to say. It would be easy to dismiss this all as a loss, but if it weren’t for those who spoke against it, Canada might have signed the agreement long ago, before pushing for a better deal. It’s not a win, but it’s evidence enough that Ottawa can be persuaded (sort of). It also gives us a benchmark for how loud we’ve got to get to be heard next time.

NEWS

Jessica Barclay — News Editor news@ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

UFV Finances //

NEWS BRIEFS

Students pleased to see government announce new funding for research, student employment, and campus safety

Budget focuses on international student revenue and position creation

The 2018 federal budget will see significant long-term investment towards post-secondary education.

An investment of $925 million dollars will be made in the research granting councils, which will increase funding by 25 per cent by 2020/21.

These councils provide significant funding for all areas of campus research. $448.5 million will be invested in the Youth Employment Strategy over five years, and there will be additional funding for the Canadian Summer Jobs program. The budget also commits $5.5 million over five years toward developing national best practices for addressing sexual violence on campus.

“These investments, coupled with strong support for student access in previous budgets, demonstrate a clear and active commitment to improving the quality of, and access to, post-secondary education in Canada,” the Canadian Alliance of Student Association reported.

-Canadian Alliance of Student Associations

Going beyond green buildings to climate justice UBC’s sustainability club ran a Climate Town Hall meeting, where over 300 faculty and students discussed how UBC can contribute beyond energy efficient buildings, halogen bulbs, and other features of past sustainability plans. Discussion centred around climate justice, contributing to global research and innovation, and how UBC can help spark a broader cultural change.

“Suggestions included encouraging more cross-disciplinary education, or introducing a mandatory course on colonialism, the campus location on unceded Musqueam First Nations land, and the connection to climate justice,” The Tyee reported.

-The Tyee

UFV Abbotsford Campus. G Building. Abbotsford, B.C. (UFV)

JESSICA BARCLAY NEWS EDITOR

The UFV 2018/19 draft budget was called a “good news budget” during its presentation on Wednesday, March 28, showing a 5.5 per cent revenue growth over the previous year. Concerns, however, were expressed during Friday’s UFV Senate meeting over plans focusing on international student tuition and student fees, and its use in the creation of new positions.

Betty Poettcker, chief financial officer and VP administration, said during Wednesday's budget forum that one of the main drivers in this growth was the increasing number of international students at UFV. International student numbers have seen a steady increase over the last few years, with a 12 per cent increase in enrollment rate over last year, while domestic student numbers have been in a slow decline since 2013.

International student fees and tuition contributes $19.5M of the $55.2M in revenue from student tuition and student fees, and has increased by $2.6M this year.

“Part of the growth that we have been seeing is possibly due to the politics we’re seeing in the world as a whole,” Poettcker said. “Canada is seen right now as a very favourable place to come.”

Poettcker noted that there is risk associated with international student enrollment; changes in political climate, and potential natural disasters can affect enrollment rates.

“My concern is we, as an academic institution, should not count on the budget to go up and up and up,” said Teresa Arroliga-Piper, associate professor, modern languages, at the March 9 Senate meeting, after the presentation of the budget plan. “We are going to be opening more positions that, later on, we are not going to have any money to support.”

One of several new positions suggested under the 2018/19 budget would be in the international students department. This position would involve the recruitment and retainment of international students, and diversifying the international students UFV has.

It was suggested at the Senate meeting that the addition of counselling services, instead of recruitment, could better serve both international and domestic students with international backgrounds.

“My concern is putting more money into the students and faculty,” ArroligaPiper said.

A new HR position is planned to be created in the area of organizational development to “build capacity in workforce and succession planning, performance

management, change management, and proactive employee attraction and retention.”

Two new positions are planned to be created in information technology to address security concerns, and system design and complexity. A business transformation office will also be created, with the position focusing on the “identification, assessment, and coordination of business improvement activities.”

Investments in the continued development of agricultural programming and the Agricultural Centre of Excellence will be seen in the form of a new, unspecified position.

A coordinator for student wellness, training, and development has been budgeted for. The coordinator will be responsible for the development of extra-curricular education opportunities, and student safety and well-being.

In the area of Indigenization, there are plans to add an Indigenous educational developer, and a new position in academic support for the development of Indigenous content for new and existing programs.

Four new faculty positions will also be opening up. Two will be in the new computer science program, one in the area of mathematics with a focus on math for elementary students, and one in welding.

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NEWS

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

Professor Profile //

Q&A with Andrea Hughes Definitely. I’ve had several students where we just clicked really well, and it sparked some research — particularly through my memory course. The students really wanted to do research, and so we’ve travelled to a number of conferences, which was a great experience. In the department, I’ve collaborated with Sven a fair amount, and that led to us developing a course which we teach on social cognition. It’s funny, because that started out with us initially meeting every week in the resource room to casually talk about research. What we found was that we disagreed on a lot of things. Then we started having students asking to sit-in on these weekly meetings, and we thought, “Wait a minute, we can make a course out of this!”

So we developed that course kind of just by chance, out of those regular meetings that student started attending.

While we often talk of UFV as a single entity, each student or teacher will take something different from UFV — how would you describe what you’ve taken from UFV? I’ve definitely become a heck of a lot better teacher after my experience here. I’m continually learning in class; as you guys have probably heard me say, “I used to do it this way, and now I do it this way.” I think that’s the biggest thing though, that I’m always learning. That’s a huge goal for me.

I think I’d be really bored in a job where I wasn’t continually being challenged, and having to learn new things.

Andrea Hughes, 2014. (UFV Flickr)

EKANKI CHAWLA & MANVEER DHALIWAL CONTRIBUTORS

Andrea Hughes has been a psychology professor at UFV for about 11 years, and has taught nearly every psychology course in the discipline.

What brought you to UFV? A lot of things. I was looking for a job in a smaller institution with small class sizes, so that was definitely a large component of what attracted me to this university. Before UFV, I had taught a few courses at Simon Fraser University, and one course at Washington University in St. Louis.

How would you describe the culture or the feeling you got when you first started here?

I really enjoyed the laid-back culture at UFV. That was something which was really attractive to me when I first got started here, especially with the new job and being new to the area. Everybody was also really casual and friendly, like, the janitors and the faculty were friends. I just thought the university had a really cool dynamic.

What kind of changes have you made in your teaching approaches or methods over time?

I’ve made a lot of changes, but I think the biggest thing is that I used to be very

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serious. I would just be like, “We have to get through the material today.” And now, if we spend some more time on one subject and we get behind on the day’s content, I realize that it’s not a big deal. So, I’m definitely a lot more relaxed in my teaching style now.

What kind of projects have you worked on at UFV, in terms of course development or research?

I’ve done a lot of student-partnered research projects looking at various topics, mostly related to memory. In the past, I’ve looked at cross-race effect, eyewitness testimony, and some work on priming.

Sven Van de Wetering and I collaborate sometimes on projects more to do with social cognition. Years ago, I was highly involved with the Centre for Education and Research on Aging, where we did a lot of community partnerships. We did things like a symposium, and invited people in for different courses from the community, information courses, and even getting seniors engaged in university. We still do that a little bit, but we’re not as active as we used to be. Shelly Canning and Darren Blakeborough were heavily involved with a project on pairing young children and seniors in a care home for dance instruction — it was a really cool project. These little girls would come in every week to the nursing home, and do their dance practice with the seniors, and the seniors just loved it.

Have there been any colleagues or students that have been particularly inf luential to what you do?

What were you like as a student, did you procrastinate, and were you involved on campus?

I was pretty motivated as a student, and I was pretty committed to my studies, but I always procrastinated. I was always doing the paper at 3 a.m. in the morning. Always.

But, I was very involved on my campus, too. Where I did my undergraduate, I was in lots of student unions and clubs. I’d go to campus at 8:30 a.m., and I’d stay until 9 p.m., because that was just the kind of campus culture there.

Do you ever get scared you won’t be able to answer students’ questions?

It really depends on the class. In third or fourth year courses, if a student asks me a question, and I don’t know, then I’m comfortable to admit that. They recognize that I can’t know absolutely everything. First and second year is a little bit different though, because they expect you to really know everything about everything.

What is one interesting thing about you that most students/faculty don’t know?

I was a competitive gymnast! Floor was definitely my favourite!

This interview has been edited for content and clarity.

Community News //

UFV instructor on leave after Creep Catchers sting JESSICA BARCLAY NEWS EDITOR

A UFV instructor has been put on administrative leave following a sting operation by the Chilliwack Creep Catchers. The video vigilante group allege that the instructor believed he was meeting a 13-year-old boy at a Chilliwack McDonald’s for sex.

Dave Pinton, UFV director of communications, said the instructor is on a seasonal contract with UFV, and not a full professor.

A video posted on the Creep Catchers Facebook page shows a member of the group following the man around the McDonald’s, asking, “How old is the boy you came to meet?”

“What?” The man responds. “You’re kidding me.”

After repeated questioning, and requests for the man to go outside and talk to them quietly, he leaves the McDon-

ald’s, and threatens to call the police.

An announcement sent out Wednesday, March 7 by the university said that a file has been opened by the Chilliwack RCMP on this incident, and UFV will cooperate with any investigation that follows.

“The university is not aware of any complainants at UFV,” Jackie Hogan, UFV president and vice chancellor, said in the announcement.

“While these allegations are not proven, the university is taking this matter seriously, and we are investigating.”

Staff Sgt. Stephen Vrolyk commented to Global News, saying the initial stages of the investigation are underway.

“I would just like to state that the RCMP do not condone or recommend people take the law into their own hands,” said Vrolyk. “There is a risk that investigations can be compromised, and evidence be lost when this occurs.”

“The university is not aware of any complainants at UFV”

OPINION

Jeff Mijo — Opinion Editor opinion@ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

A spectrum of tolerance //

Raining on a rainbow

Merritt’s kerfuffle over a rainbow crosswalk ALEISTER GWYNNE STAFF WRITER

Merritt, B.C.’s city council recently rejected a proposal, put forward by the Merritt school district, for a rainbow crosswalk to be created near the local high school at the intersection of Coldwater Ave. and Chapman St., according to the CBC. The crosswalk was the idea of two student groups: an LGBTQ support group, and the Aboriginal Youth Voice Group. They approached the school board with their idea, and the board in turn made their petition to city hall.

Despite the school board being willing to foot the bill for construction and maintenance of the crosswalk, the city council rejected the proposal on the grounds that they feared opening a “Pandora’s box” of special interest groups demanding their own crosswalks, like the local hockey team or Rotary Club.

“I find it a really weak argument to talk about the fact that maybe groups like Rotary or the Merritt Centennials might request a crosswalk,” said Merritt school board chair Gordon Comeau, and I wholeheartedly agree with his assessment. Practicalities aside, when has that ever happened?

Many other communities such as Vancouver, Fort Langley, Prince George, and Masset, just to name a few, have rainbow

crosswalks of their own, and yet we never hear about special interest groups coming out of the woodwork and demanding their own versions. I can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve never had a strong desire for the city to make an autism-themed crosswalk, for example, and I don’t think most people would be so presumptuous.

We all know the real reason for the refusal, of course. The people in charge of the city of Merritt are afraid of change and afraid of people unlike them, and they don’t want to acknowledge them.

To give credit where credit is due, not all of the city councillors felt the same way, and some were more willing to confront their own feelings on the matter. Councillor Linda Brown is quoted in the CBC article as saying, “This is certainly not my lifestyle, nor do I propose to understand it or condone it, but I understand the fact that the kids of the school think that this will be a way to show some type of inclusion to the [kids] that belong in that community and I think that that is a positive message that the kids are trying to create.” While I may look askance at Brown’s attitude, and her choice of words, I admire and respect her honesty, and her ability to look beyond her own beliefs and appreciate what the bigger issue is here.

Merritt’s rainbow crosswalk proposal

A happy rainbow crosswalk. (Creative Commons) was not only about and for LGBTQ people, but was meant to express a general acceptance of a diverse populace. Little symbols like these, although they may not be of much substance, are expressions of goodwill and accommodation to different kinds of people. Yet for others, they are reminders of a reality they are unwilling to accept.

I feel sorry for those who cannot let a rainbow be a rainbow.

The students of Merritt will likely be disappointed that this simple gesture of kind-

ness on their part was blocked. Still, they have not given up, and are looking into creating an alternative that is not on public property.

The great irony of this is that through their actions the city council has made Merritt seem like a less tolerant and welcoming community than it was before. Hopefully, the youth of Merritt can find some way to show this isn’t the case.

Paying to play //

The cost of entertainment JEFF MIJO OPINION EDITOR

The cost of entertainment is a funny thing.

Regular readers of The Cascade may remember that I reviewed a few board games in the past month. Both games (Betrayal at Baldur’s Gate and Dark Souls — The Board Game) are the kind of game that comes in a large, sturdy box, and weighs more than my cat. They’re filled with pieces and boards, and while both of these games were given to me as gifts, I’m well aware that games like this are far from cheap. Even if I’d bought them myself, having played each game once, and enjoyed each immensely, I feel like I’ve gotten my “money’s” worth. I’d happily pay $60 tomorrow if I came across another game of their calibre.

On the flip side, I’m endlessly stingy when it comes to video games. I can look at a game and know that I’ll enjoy it, know that I’ll get 10 or more hours of fun out of it, but decide that the $8 being charged in whatever Steam sale it’s a part of is still just too much to justify when I have other games I haven’t played yet. Then the next day, I’ll turn around and go to a movie theatre for $12. But I don’t think I’ve ever purchased a movie other than from thrift stores — why would I buy physical media when, between Netflix and the library, I can see whatever I want? Why pay $10 for an album when it’s on YouTube and Spotify?

Where does this disparity come from?

I suspect some of it is the social element.

Where playing a board game or seeing a movie is typically an activity shared with

friends, a video game or album is more often solitary. Scarcity is a factor as well: we assign more value to a tangible object or a passing experience than a digital file, even if is just as functional, and capable of providing just as much entertainment.

Perhaps that speaks to why events like concerts can charge such high prices, and still sell out — that combination of the social element and the fleeting nature of it means that you may only have one chance, but you’re paying to build a unique memory, likely one strengthened by sharing it with friends.

It could also be a consequence of where we are at this time in our society. There’s more supply than demand of everything. Nobody will ever hear every song, play every game, see every movie. These things are unbelievably abundant, and if you don’t care about having the newest and most popular, there are many available for little or no money from smaller, independent creators. To a certain extent, this is a new phenomenon.

The internet has enabled us to have countless options, when before we were limited to what was carried in local stores, or shown on a limited number of television channels.

In the future, as we come to terms with this post-scarcity media environment, will we be able to value media more objectively, in more clinical terms of what it provides us?

I can’t say for certain, but the success of services like Patreon (which allows fans to pledge monthly payments to creators) are a great indicator that public perception is starting to shift. Creators are being paid for the entertainment they create, and in

How much money are you willing to hand over for your entertainment? (Pixabay) many cases offer for free, and in a growing number of those cases, are making a living doing that. We’re learning to pay creators for their work directly, rather than valuing a specific concrete project, and appreciating the value of having those creations in the world, not of just owning them for ourselves.

Maybe it’s better that I follow the trend.

Instead of spending that $60 on one board game, maybe I should pick some creators whose work I’ve enjoyed for countless hours over the years, and give them a few dollars every month.

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OPINION

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

Waiting for my sanity to pop

A taste of spring Ah yes, it’s my favourite time of year again: fake spring. That one weekend in March where the thought of spring is dangled in front of the Fraser Valley, enticing the hibernating people out onto their motorcycles, and to hiking trails and markets across the city. The streets are lined with hopeful, smiling faces, soaking in the first warmth since September. Cars get washed, yard work is started, and spring to-do lists are created in hopeful anticipation.

“Spring is just around the corner! Better get that lawn mower up and running.”

It happens every year. We sort through our spring wardrobe, and talk wistfully of barbeques and beach parties and sitting on the patio sipping lemonade. But the forecast looms ahead of us, and dark clouds slowly creep back over our parade.

When the rain hits again, and the temperature drops, and the boots come back out, it’s all the more bitter.

Brief bits of bite-sized brevity

Jessica Barclay

SNAPSHOTS

Invisible hands Is it just me, or are motion activated taps in bathrooms the worst thing? I love them in theory — it makes great sense from a hygiene perspective to eliminate the need to touch the thing people touch with dirty hands once you’re done cleaning your hands. But they’d be a lot better if they actually worked.

Maybe the costs would be extraordinarily higher, but why is it that I can walk up to the doors at Walmart, and they open every single time, but I have to wave my hands back and forth through the pretty small space in front of a tap for 30 seconds trying to get it to turn on — and then when it does, it’s only for five seconds, then I need to repeat the whole process? It also seems inconsistent. I’ll try at one tap: no luck.

Walk to the next: my hands stay dry. Go on to the third, and then, boom, no problem at all turning it on, regardless of how many activations it takes to wash my hands. Let’s keep using these taps, but maybe figure out a way to increase the sensitivity a bit.

Illustrations: Amara Gelaude

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Accidentally letting a balloon go, and watching it fly high into the sky is probably one of the most traumatizing moments of a young child’s life. A balloon is something bright, prized, valuable, and when you lose it, it’s likely because your overwhelmingly clumsy hands couldn’t manage to hold on to what they had while they had it.

I feel this metaphor applies very strongly to my current student life situation. I am the poor, ignorant child, and this semester is the balloon. Lately, my days have been rapidly slipping away, dragging the time I have left to complete assignments and papers with it. Soon enough, the balloon will disappear, leaving behind a clear sky free of all responsibility and stress. Though what worries me is that bunch of nasty looking storm clouds (representing lost sleep and inevitable burnout) on the horizon. At this point, I either have to accept my fate and live with sub-par grades wreaking havoc on my GPA, or hit the ground running after that damn balloon.

Cassie de Jong

Curtailed commentary on current conditions

International very short newspaper articles day How do you make a holiday official?

What are the rules dictating that? I mean, today is national Pi Day, which makes sense, but really, what steps are there for making it legit? Because today is also apparently Learn About Butterflies Day, and National Potato Chip Day, too. And on March 16, it’s evidently Everything You Do is Right Day. What is that? Perhaps someone should stop letting every day be a special day, and just let a day be a day.

But in the meantime, Hallmark, can you make a card for Extraterrestrial Abduction Day, because I think that would be pretty neat.

Jeff Mijo

Jen Klassen

OPINION

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

Living in a material world //

Holding out for a shero

Mattel’s Role Models series celebrates notable women. (Mattel)

JEN KLASSEN STAFF WRITER

Barbies. Pretty much every girl had at least one. Beach Party Barbie, Magic Hair Barbie, Holiday Barbie. Many titles, many dresses; the same pink, high-heeled shoes, and big blond hair. We played with them, dressed them up, and took them on dates. They were familiar toys with a familiar figure doing all sorts of tasks with all sorts of apparel. I still have a large Rubbermaid bin of them stored away at my parent’s house.

With nostalgia blooming, and International Women’s Day just

gone by, I read the news headline about Barbie’s latest additions to the “Shero” line, a line of dolls modeled after exceptional women. Barbies resembling Frida Kahlo, Amelia Earhart, and Bindi Irwin just to name a few. There are 19 dolls listed on the website in total, encompassing women of colour, different ages, and a variety of walks of life. The complete list can be found online on the Mattel website.

Barbie dolls have long been criticized as advocating an unrealistic body image for young girls: large breasts, long legs, thin waists, and skin tones in only slightly varying shades of white.

These dolls have been labelled as discriminatory and non-representative of all women. She is glorified mainly for her beauty, and has been the longstanding poster child for “girl toys.” As a kid, I remember walking down the aisles at Toys R Us, seeing the distinctly blue aisle, and beelining for the very pink, very labelled “Barbie” aisle. All of my allowance always headed straight for that doll in a box, perfection incarnate. Barbie, everyone’s favourite girl. An unreachable goal if there ever was one for a knock-kneed, bucktoothed, bespectacled girl.

But heralding in a new future is Margaret “Margo” Georgiadis,

CEO of Mattel. It seems as though the direction of Barbie in the last few years has been a response to the critique the doll faced over time. Not only have realistic bodies become prevalent in the line, the new “Shero” line appears to be another move in a positive direction. Showcasing women such as Chloe Kim, olympic snowboarder, Patty Jenkins, director of “Wonder Woman,” Ibtihaj Muhammad, the hijab wearing fencer, and Helene Darroze, a world-renowned chef, is a beautiful testament to the women in this world that little girls can aspire to be.

Seeing that a girl can be more than pretty, more than the popu-

lar pink princess, is, in my opinion, a step forward, in shoes that are more sensible than hot pink high heels. My niece is still too young to play with toys with tiny parts, but you better believe that I will be buying her one of these for her birthday. Gone are the days when “princess” or “mermaid” are the only words emerging from the mouths of little girls when asked what they want to be when they grown up. Let them be astronauts, mathematicians, boxers, rule breakers, game changers, world quakers, ground shakers.

Let them be whatever they dream of being.

This little piggy //

In bad taste Why the killing and eating of a pet pig is so upsetting ALEISTER GWYNNE STAFF WRITER

On Jan. 19, a couple residing in Duncan, B.C. adopted a pet Vietnamese potbelly pig named Molly from the SPCA in nearby Cowichan. Less than a month later, Molly was dead, slaughtered and eaten by her new owners, according to an article in the Globe and Mail.

This news sparked widespread horror and outrage, but on the face of it, why was killing and eating a pig such a terrible thing? After all, pigs are slaughtered and their flesh eaten all the time.

What makes Molly so special that this case invokes a feeling of gut revulsion in many of us? The reasons are more complex than they first appear, and context is key.

In fairness to the couple, they did not originally intend to kill and eat their adopted pig. The SPCA did a thorough evaluation of the adoptive couple. They made unambiguous assertions

that they intended for Molly to be a pet, not food. The shock and outrage felt by many, especially by the employees of the SPCA branch in question, is in part due to this flagrant breach of trust.

The couple pledged to take care of this animal. Instead, they did the exact opposite.

The reason the couple changed their minds about what to do with Molly was because they soon realized they did not know how to properly care for a pig. They ought to have done their research beforehand, as any would-be pet owner should, but this lapse on their part is not inexcusable. However, the fact that they chose to simply kill and eat their pet pig, instead of learning how to care for one (which is quick and easy to do thanks to the internet), or taking her back to the SPCA so that someone more able and willing could adopt her instead, makes their decision a very short-sighted and self-centred one.

Adding insult to injury,

the couple snapchatted photos and videos of themselves seasoning and cooking Molly’s meat. This spectacularly tone-deaf display is what caused this story to gain such widespread coverage and outrage.

Furthermore, one cannot even make the argument that they used the pig for its proper purpose. Molly was not a livestock pig arbitrarily assigned to be a pet. Vietnamese pot belly pigs are bred and raised specifically as pets, and due to their diet, their meat is not suitable for human consumption. Even if it was, if Molly had received all of her shots (it is not certain that she did), her flesh could have been hazardous to eat.

The couple has faced no criminal charges, because in Canada, it is not illegal to kill an animal you own for any reason, provided that it is done quickly and humanely.

Since there is no evidence that Molly suffered, the couple will face no legal repercussions. However, their actions did not come without consequences. The man who adopted Molly has been banned by the SPCA from adopting any more animals from them in perpetuity, a punishment that I feel is entirely appropriate. These people displayed a disturb-

Molly the pig before being eaten by her new owners. (Facebook) ing lack of regard for a life, and for the feelings of others. Individuals who act so callously and irresponsibly have no business owning or taking care of any kind of animal.

Ultimately, this goes beyond the particulars of Molly’s case, and opens up debates about law and

ethics. Is killing an animal you own on a whim really any better than letting it suffer? If not, should the law be changed, and if so, how so? Just because something is legal, doesn’t make it right (and viceversa). The public outrage at Molly’s death could be seen as a means of ex-

pressing disapproval of antisocial attitudes that could lead to suffering if they are allowed to continue. Personally, I think that publicly calling people out on reckless and inconsiderate behaviour is something we really ought to be doing more often these days.

7

Buying a better grade

How do essays purchased online fare in the classroom?

By: Jeff Mijo

T

here’s an essay due next week in that elective course you threw into your schedule hoping it would be an easy A, but found yourself completely out of your depth in, and are struggling to keep a passing grade.

Or maybe you just needed to take it as a requirement for your degree, but you’ll never use the knowledge from that course in the real world. Maybe you’re just so overloaded with other classes, a job, and life, that you can’t make any time to write the essay yourself. Whatever the case, you consider taking a shortcut. You consider paying someone else to write the essay for you.

But how well do those promises of easy sailing through courses stand up?

How easy is it to buy your way to good grades? I decided there was no better way to find out than to try it myself.

First things first: I needed an assignment to cheat on. I enlisted the help of the University of the Fraser Valley’s own Eric Spalding, associate professor in the social, cultural, & media studies department. Because Spalding marks all assignments blindly to avoid personal biases, insisting that students submit their work with just a student number rather than a name, he would be able to judge my submission more fairly.

We discussed a plan, and decided that I would buy three essays online from different sources each following the same instructions from one of his current courses, and then submit them to him on the due date. Spalding wouldn’t know which three assignments were fraudulent until he finished marking, and found three student numbers not actually enrolled in his course.

From Spalding’s assignments with upcoming due dates, I selected a straightforward essay from his popular Media and Communications Studies (MACS) 110: Introduction to Communication Theory class.

The assignment read as follows: “Are you typically an opinion leader or an opinion follower? Are there specific topics (fashion, movies, music, sports, politics) on which you are one or the other? What makes you one or the other under different circumstances?

This assignment is not a research paper. Rather, it is more like an opinion piece or editorial that you might write for a newspaper. Still, you can use an outside source or two if you want. I think, however, that you should base yourself primarily on the excerpt from the textbook, inclass discussions, and your own reflections on the topic.”

It seemed like a straightforward choice: 850 words, no sources required, and opinion-based. For a talented essay writer, even one unfamiliar with the

course, it shouldn’t be much trouble.

When it came time to purchase my essays, I quickly found myself in a virtual world that straddled the line between professional and sketchy. There are sites — a lot of sites — dedicated to selling essays. Most of them look very businesslike, with an interface you might expect from a hotel website. It allows you to customize your specifications, and when you want it (though they may in fact be less buggy than most hotel sites I’ve booked through). These sites offer live chat or telephone customer service, plagiarism-free guarantees, and long lists of the included features such as revisions, bibliographers, and formatting.

When you look a little closer, though, suspicious elements start to appear.

Sample papers show minor but noticeable grammatical and spelling errors; excessively positive testimonials praise the excellence of the services; and most damningly, the ordering interface is the same across websites.

I don’t just mean it’s very similar with the same kinds of options. I found well over a dozen sites with radically different layouts, but exactly the same order form. They each offer the same options, in the same order, at the same prices. I tried looking into the names and locations of the domains’ registrations, but they were all obfuscated by their registrars.

It seems highly likely that all those sites, which made up the vast majority of my search results, were run by the same company. I even found multiple blogs listing the “best” places to buy essays — all of which displayed this same uniform order form. Clearly, this is an extensive business.

Ultimately, I settled on three essay writers at three different price points.

At the high end, I paid a professionallooking site called JustBuy Essay $49.95.

I picked it because it accepted PayPal, and presented a high quality website at a lower price than the sites that all shared the duplicated layout mentioned above.

In the middle of the pack, I paid $35 to a person who alleged (or at least implied) that they had a Ph.D on Craigslist. Last of all I paid $15.66 to a writer sourced from the freelancing site Fiverr.

Although it took some time, the ordering process for the cheap Fiverr essay made me feel the most comfortable.

It’s an established, well-known site not specifically tailored to essay selling. Despite the branding of the site promising services for $5, most of the essay writers on the site started at $10 (USD) for work of any length close to what I needed. It was also expected that I reach out to the

writers before paying for their services, something that was not made clear to myself, a new service user. I hired one person, but upon hearing the request, they told me it was not something they were capable of, and refunded my money. I appreciated the upfront response, and moved on to another Fiverr contractor, a woman from Pakistan.

This seller was quick to reply to my inquiry, agreed to do the piece, and promised it in just a few days. She was communicative and clear about the process, and provided excellent customer service. She also delivered the essay on time, but unfortunately it did not live up to her communication abilities.

From the opening paragraph, I realized the essay wasn’t going to receive a passing grade.

“Recognizing that the social context of many public health issues is important, the social nature of the solution is implicitly recognized as an important step towards making real improvements in health. In fact, marketing is trying to manage individual behavior by providing enhanced incentives and consequences in a context of voluntary exchange (Resnick & Siegel, 2013). Focusing on the viewer is a fundamental principle of social marketing; therefore, the individual’s attitude toward the product, its preferences and behavior, and its differences in location, will be designed with my target audience.”

It was a mostly error-free piece of writing, but it was confusing, and bore absolutely zero relevance to Spalding’s assignment. It was also clearly not written for me. The final paragraph began with the phrase “According to our class power point by professor Lea.” I asked the seller about this reference, wondering if she’d possibly sent me the wrong file — mistakes happen. Her response? “Oh, I am sorry, that is my other client’s professor. Let me remove it.” She then sent me the exact same file again, professor Lea and all. Deciding to leave it at that, I told her my real name, and the reason behind my hiring her. Again, she communicated openly, saying she’d be happy to answer some questions for an interview through Fiverr’s messaging system, as long as her identity remained anonymous. She told me that her background was as a software engineer, and that she received many orders for essays — most of them on the topic of literature. “Assistance

“I am the best choice for academic and writing assistance.”

is always helpful,” she replied when I asked about her philosophy on the work she did, and if she felt it was any kind of moral issue.

O

n the opposite end of the price scale from Fiverr, my experience with JustBuy Essay was also relatively painless and straightforward. The ordering process was very easy, and required no haggling, just simply that I input my requirements. Every element of it seemed proper and professional, but it was hard to shake the sense that I was ultimately throwing money down a hole, and hoping an essay would come flying back out. However, despite taking a few days longer than the Fiverr order, it was ready within the first half of my two-week deadline.

There was much less communication than on Fiverr — my only direct contact was when I added a note about the title I entered for the paper to correct a typo I’d made. After submitting the change, I quickly got a response assuring me it would be updated with the correct title.

When the essay arrived, I was pleased to see that, unlike the Fiverr seller, my anonymous writer had clearly written something just for me. It referenced the question, as well as used and defined the terms “opinion leader” and “opinion follower.” It wasn’t perfect, but it could certainly blend in with a crowd of genuine students.

A

nd finally, there was Craigslist.

The person I hired never gave me a name, but listed their email as “levyphd.” Their ad was plastered all over the site, on different regional Craigslist listings across Canada, including Vancouver and the Fraser Valley. It was also reposted every few days.

“If you’re having trouble academically,” said levyphd, “or, if you just need a little boost to help you go that extra mile, I am the best choice for academic and writing assistance.” Levyphd also claimed that they were “a MSc Professional Tutor with extensive experience tutoring high school, university, and college students.” How could I argue with credentials like that, especially when the long list of topics they could write about even included media & culture and “ANY course that requires well-written essays?”

I sent an email to levyphd, which listed the requirements, and asked for an estimate. They replied in only 11 minutes with a terse email asking when I’d need it done by. A bit of haggling ensued: levyphd claimed to have just finished a 1,200 word essay for $85, so they thought that my 850 word essay was worth $50. I countered with $35, but said it could be 800 instead. Levyphd was okay with that, and sent me a second email address, telling me to PayPal the money there. Both that address and

the name PayPal gave me for the payment indicated I was paying someone named Sab Lee, not Levy. I suppose if I were writing essays for money I wouldn’t want it to be too easy to link back to my real name, either.

However, when I Googled that address, I found more ads offering tutor and essay writing services, but these ones were all located in Toronto and Ottawa. Obviously this person was not being up front and honest. It felt intensely wrong to send money to some person I stumbled across on Craigslist.

It ran counter to all of my intuition, but I went through with it. Besides, I rationalized, it’s a good story if it’s a scam, too.

Levyphd, or Sab Lee, or whoever I was talking to, was not as good with communication and customer service as the other two essay sellers. Levy/ Sab’s emails were always one or two sentences, and they often ignored my questions. They took almost the full two weeks to deliver the essay. Multiple check-in emails I sent went ignored, or were answered with assurances that they were working, but no details on when it’d be done. The day before my deadline, they finally replied with this message: “Hi I just finished. Attached is proof.

You can now make the final payment.

Thank you so much.”

I’d already paid. In full. Below the message was a phone screenshot of the first page of an essay. Was it written on a phone? The sample talked about welfare and former Ontario premier Mike Harris. I told the seller that I’d already paid the agreed amount, but expecting them to say it was harder than anticipated, and that they needed more. Now that they’d kept me hanging to the last minute, I might be desperate for an essay, and willing to pay more. I asked for some clarification: “Hi and thanks! I already made the whole payment though. We agreed on $35 and I sent it over right away. Are you maybe getting me confused with another person? My essay also wasn’t about Ontario (unless you tie it in [sic] later maybe!)”

“I chose Mike Harris.”

Sure, maybe they wrote about strong opinions on Mike Harris. I continue to play the role I’d been acting out: a student desperate to get their article, too broke to pay more, and who doesn’t believe in using commas.

“Oh okay I understand! But I did already pay the full amount we agreed on.”

After that, levyphd/Sab Lee sent me the essay in the body of an email (rather than a formatted .docx like the other two sellers). I use the word “essay” to refer to it in a loose sense. The 800 words we negotiated got me 629, and they were obviously not written in response to my assignment. Worse than just being off topic, and for another class, this clearly wasn’t even a whole essay — it had an abstract, an introduction, and that’s it. It set up a discussion on the role of women in the workforce and welfare, but never even got to whatever Mike Harris or Ontario had to do with any of that. It was also riddled with errors, and included page number citations sprinkled throughout but (because it was clearly just the first

portion of another essay) had no actual bibliography at the end. I submitted it to Spalding in the state it was delivered in, but that state was abysmal.

My interactions with the mysterious Craigslist seller ended with me telling them my real intentions, and asking if they’d answer a few questions. They replied “sure if you can pay me for my time.” Even ignoring the ethical issue of paying for an interview, I couldn’t imagine paying this person for something I legitimately wanted to be good.

My only regret is that I didn’t wait until after getting my marks back to reveal the truth, so that I could see what happened if I asked for a refund.

After about $100 spent and a few weeks waiting, I finally had all three essays in hand. I gave them cover pages that were neither outstanding nor horrible, added fake student numbers, and handed them in to Spalding for marking along with the rest of his class’ work.

H

aving spent around 30 years as an educator, Spalding keeps watch for academic dishonesty. He chose long ago to weigh his grading more heavily towards exams than assignments, and is a detailed but fair marker who tries (as one hopes most professors and teachers do) to remain consistent in his grading criteria. In the outline for MACS 110, he lists the criteria for his evaluation of the assignment.

“I will evaluate you on: 1. The structure and style of your paper; 2. Its originality within the parameters of the assigned topic; 3. How informative and interesting it is; 4. How much effort you appear to have put into writing it; 5. Your ability to integrate course ideas.”

While Spalding went into the marking process knowing that there would be three counterfeits among the genuine submissions from his students, he admitted that his focus was on the wrong end of the spectrum. “I was expecting high quality,” he told me afterward, explaining that he imagined the writers selling their essays as older — in their 50s or 60s — and academically experienced. As he marked the class’ best papers, however, he had to discount many of them from suspicion. Those that referenced the textbook or the class discussions clearly had to come from his students.

Eventually, though, he came to one that did stand out, though he didn’t realize it was one of my submissions. The article from Fiverr clearly bore no relevance to the course, so Spalding made

a note to contact its author, and check if they’d submitted the wrong paper, just as I had asked the seller when she sent the document to me. When he looked up the student number, he saw it wasn’t listed in his course. If it’d been a genuine mistake, that’d be one thing, but if a student had purchased and submitted this essay for real, they’d be left to scramble, either accepting a zero on the assignment, or rushing to write (or buy) a better one.

The incomplete submission from my Craigslist contact fared little better. “I don’t understand what happened here,” reads the note Spalding left at the end of the otherwise unmarked essay. “Did you submit the wrong paper?” After explaining the requirements of the assignment, he ended his note with the ominous phrase “be careful about plagiarism.”

Only the most expensive essay, the $50 piece from JustBuy Essay, made it past Spalding. He described it as eyeopening to see that someone not at all involved in his class could deceive him, and receive a legitimate grade.

That essay opened and closed by answering the question posed by the assig n ment , claiming that the imaginary student was an opinion leader in the areas of film and music. It even defined the terms “opinion leader” and “opinion fol l ow e r .”

The bulk of the essay, however, was completely tangential, giving a summary of what film and music are, rather than how the student influenced, or was influenced by others.

Spalding noted a “digression from the topic” in his feedback on the paper (though he later called it “just padding”), and highlighted other minor issues throughout the paper — one word needlessly capitalized, another missing, and so on. It was ultimately good enough that he awarded the essay 11/15 — a B grade. Upon reviewing the essay after discovering that it was one of the papers I’d given him, he admitted that perhaps it was a “generous B,” saying that he’d suspected it was written by a student who skipped most of the classes, and didn’t read the textbook, but had still put in some effort.

Although Spalding is aware of and watchful for plagiarism, sites such as these make that task difficult. Ostensibly, the articles are not quite plagiarized.

Rather, they’re original writings made specifically for each client. There’s no uniform way to check for that, only the intuition of an instructor. In a class like

MACS 110 with around 36 students, and for a professor teaching other classes at the same time, it’s not always possible to know and recognize every student’s writing style, or to know when something is wrong.

But what if it had come to light that the Fiverr or Craigslist essay was purchased, or if the JustBuy Essay one stood out from that student’s normal work? There are, of course, consequences.

According to UFV’s Student Academic Misconduct policy, it is considered cheating to submit “work prepared in whole or in part by another person, including work purchased, and representing that work as one’s own.”

Would-be entrepreneurs beware, these rules also forbid the selling of such material by UFV students. And if you break the rules? The potential punishments include mandatory workshops, a grade reduction or no grade for the course, a recommendation for expulsion from the university, revocation of awards, degrees, or other credentials, denial of readmission, and forfeiture of financial assistance.

In short, if you buy an essay and get caught, you’re looking at a penalty far harsher than the poor grade you might get by just throwing together the essay yourself the night before it’s due.

Ultimately, just like anything else, it seems that in the world of essay buying, you get what you pay for. Yes, the most expensive essay got a decent grade, but would it work consistently, or would buying a second essay for the same class, especially for a professor who didn’t mark blindly, reveal the truth? There’s no guarantee of consistency when you don’t know who’s writing each paper.

The cost also seems prohibitive to the typical student budget: who can afford $50 per assignment multiple times per course, with multiple courses per semester, on top of all the other expenses of student life?

The risks also may outweigh the reward. By circumventing the rules of the institution, students buying essays online not only open themselves up to serious consequences, but there are also risks in the process itself. When I told Spalding about my experiences, he pointed out that “As they say, there’s no honour amongst thieves.” I may have received three essays, but it’s hard not to call two of them complete scams, and I have a sneaking suspicion that the seller on Craigslist would not be inclined to offer a refund, despite their failure to deliver satisfactory work. The Fiverr writer, however, assured me that in the case of a failure, she would offer a refund. Perhaps there’s more to be said for repeat business than a quick buck.

If you’re struggling on an essay, feeling overworked, or fighting apathy in a course you don’t care about, you may be better off looking into the other resources nearly every university offers: tutoring, advising, and mentoring. If you decide to break the rules, you may not like the results.

You can read the full purchased essays online at ufvcascade.ca.

STUDY BREAK Crossword //

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

Made by Cassie de Jong

ACROSS

DOWN

3: Words that sound like the word they describe.

1: An object or image in which everything is shaded with one colour.

4: When you exceed the requirements of a job you are _ _ _.

2: American Ivy League University in Connecticut founded in 1701.

8: An insect comparable to butterflies that loves to eat old coats.

5: Alcohol distilled from sugarcane or molasses.

10: Greek god of the sky, and ruler of all other gods.

6: A short, cylindrical felt headdress, usually red with a tassel attached to the top. Loved by the 11th Doctor.

11: Everyone’s favourite chocolate sandwich cookie.

13: Large building containing a large variety of retail shops.

15: During a fire, you leave a building through the _ _ _.

17: City home to Mulholland Drive.

LAST ISSUE’S ANSWERS: Across: 6: Desert 8: Abdicate 9: Condensed milk 11: Transmutation 13: Remaster 15: Sparta

Horoscope //

Astrological mysteries rudely interpreted by Lady May

Aries — Mar 21 to Apr 19 We all act out little scenarios and win imaginary arguments in our cars, but you’re the only one who does it as if you were some sort of deity. What we have here is a class A case of a God complex. Step down from Asgard, Olympus, or whatever high throne you’ve spent the past week on.

Taurus — Apr 20 to May 20 You used to consult your TV Guide as if it was your therapist. You’re still doing the same thing, but now you seek out Netflix, YouTube, and/or Facebook for support as well. As soothing as video entertainment can be, get up and do something. It will probably fix your problems faster.

Gemini — May 21 to Jun 20 Anytime you see a Gemini walking past eating a breakfast burrito, it probably belonged to a Scorpio, and the Gemini just snatched it up when their poor victim wasn’t looking. Try to keep your kleptomania in check this week.

Your Scorpio friends need to eat, too.

10

Down: 1: Mosaic 2: Fiji 3: Roman Numerals 4: Underestimate 5: Shtick 7: Summit 10: Denver 11: Thesis 12: Nordic 14: Sake

Cancer —Jun 21 to Jul 22 No Cancer in history has ever been caught yawning. The rest of us aren’t sure if that’s because you are just naturally that awake and chipper all the time, or if you have a serious and near-deadly addiction to caffeine. We’re leaning towards the latter. See a doctor.

7: The state or emotion of complete emptiness, hopelessness, or destruction.

9: The edge of a piece of clothing that has been folded under and sewn down to prevent fraying threads.

12: A paddle used to propel a canoe or other boat.

14: A highly alkaline solution, especially of potassium hydroxide, usually used for heavy duty washing.

16: A tall post on a ship or boat that generally carries the sails.

Illustration by: Amara Gelaude

Leo — Jul 23 to Aug 22 You are a neat freak and perfectionist to the umpteenth degree. Everything around you must always appear in pristine condition. Just spying dust collecting can literally make you foam at the mouth. Either chill out or start cleaning where people can’t see you. You’re starting to scare children.

Sagittarius — Nov 22 to Dec 21 They say you can always find happiness at work on Friday, but you get just a tad too excited about it. When your co-workers have to remind you that Friday is not enough of an occasion to pop open a bottle of champagne at lunch, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate how enthusiastic you get about things.

Virgo —Aug 23 to Sep 22 You’re the kind of person where, when your date brings you home to meet their parents, by the end of the night their parents like you better, and are halfway through the process of adopting you. As flattering as this must feel don’t let them sign the dotted line. Your date may have something to say about it.

Capricorn — Dec 22 to Jan 19 This week, you may start to feel like your world is falling to pieces. Allow extra time for the unexpected, be patient with last-minute arrangement changes, and keep an eye out for plans that don’t seem to be panning out.

You may survive this yet.

Libra — Sep 23 to Oct 22 You’ve never been seen not wearing long, billowing clothing and gaudy amounts of unusual thrift store jewelry. Do me a favour and don’t ever change. Your outfits may turn heads, but keeping a low profile has never been your style, anyway.

Aquarius — Jan 20 to Feb 18 Heed my warning when I say most of the people arrested for counterfeiting are Aquarians. The easy way out is never the safe way out. So, the next time you find yourself searching for online essay writing services, think twice. Profs these days have a sixth sense when it comes to cheating.

Scorpio — Oct 23 to Nov 21 Scorpios learn how to start ground-breaking monopolies at an early age. You were that kid who figured out how to make the coolest bookmarks in grade four, and started selling them to your friends for their lunch money.

Keep it up — this is a handy trait. But try to remember that in the adult world income tax (and jail) exists.

Pisces — Feb 19 to Mar 20 Your interest in current events starts with skimming the news with good intentions, and ends with spending three hours posting rumours about the latest government conspiracy. Try to stay on topic, and remember that Tumblr and Reddit are not always accountable sources.

CULTURE

Cassie de Jong — Culture Editor culture@ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

Art of the Month

Title: Canada Goose By: Kelly Ning Medium: Mixed media Size: 24 x 30 inch Date: June 2017 Artist Statement: For this painting, I used pencil to illustrate the animal outlines, and filled those outlines in with acrylic. I then used gel pens, markers, and nail polish to illuminate the subjects’ details. I used Canadian geese because animals tend to make humans more compassionate, positive individuals, who are happier overall, and because Canada has a varied landscape, both with its wildlife and its landscapes.

Art of the Month is a recurring feature that highlights the visual artwork of UFV students. In conjunction with the Visual Arts Student Association (VASA), The Cascade chooses the works of multiple artists to be featured each month. To submit your work, please send an image, 50 word bio, 150 word artist statement, and image list with titles, mediums, sizes, and dates of creation (must be within the past year) to artofthemonth@ ufvcascade.ca. Limit of three submissions per person, per month.

Selected works may be displayed at The Cascade lounge, in room S2111 of the Abbotsford UFV campus. The submission deadline for next month is Friday, March 30.

Artist Bio: Kelly Ning lives in Abbotsford, and studies graphic design and visual arts at UFV. She has loved art, especially painting and drawing, since she was young. The mediums she works with include watercolor, acrylic, marker, and mix media painting. She likes to illustrate and incorporate interesting things into her designs and art.

Title: Meditation #1 By: Jesse Klassen Medium: Acrylic and spray paint on stretched canvas Size: 36 x 24 inch Artist Statement: This image seeks to engage in thought with the mystery of the Christian Godhead (the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit).

“Meditation #1” is from a series of four abstract paintings of varying sizes each engaging with this subject in a unique manner. This work combines a number of different techniques and types of paint applied in specifically three stages, each stage symbolic to a member of the Trinity. The four paintings serve as visuals for my own meditations on this subject, and the mystery and controversy it is naturally associated with. Although the subject of religion is a difficult topic to discuss, I believe it to be an important conversation, as it is culturally relevant to people on a global scale.

Artist Bio: Working in a wide variety of visual media including painting, photography, and performance, Jesse Klassen is concerned with art and religion in the 21st century.

In the portrayal of these ideas, he draws on natural and abstract imagery, making the work both informative and meditative.

UFV Writing //

On campus publishing workshop UFV’s writer in residence delves into the “Nuts and Bolts” of submitting your work CASSIE DE JONG CULTURE & EVENTS EDITOR

“If you don’t feel good about your work, there is no reason for a journal to feel good about it.” A rather glum sentiment perhaps, but this statement should also serve as inspiration for writers to take pride in their writing, and to improve at every opportunity. The comment comes from UFV’s writer in residence, Billeh Nickerson, who hosted a publishing workshop called “Getting it Into Print: The Nuts and Bolts of Submitting to Magazines” last Tuesday, March 6 from noon to 1:00 p.m. in Room B121 on the Abbotsford campus.

This well-attended event saw participation from students from all ranges of experience, and all departments of UFV. Nickerson shared knowledge based on experience, and kept the audience engaged with incredibly useful information, ex-

amples, and funny quips, stories, and tangents that cleared the air, but remained on topic and informative.

At the beginning of the workshop, Nickerson stated, “The odds of folks making their complete living from writing, if I’m being honest, are quite low.” But he also believes that you can achieve success if you can pull yourself together, and commit to your writing. “You’ve spent a good four, five, six, seven, eight years getting this skill, this degree. So you might as well use it, and do stuff with it.”

Literary journals are also known as “small magazines.” These magazines publish poetry, short stories, some non-fiction, and sometimes even plays or reviews.

Nickerson brought a few examples of the largest literary journals published across Canada, and introduced a little history and significance from each one.

It’s also helpful to be particular when

submitting to journals. Keep in mind whom you are submitting to, and whether or not your work is suited to a publisher.

Nickerson used the example, “Nike doesn’t try to sell its products to art supplies store,” or in other words, “Confessional narrative poets shouldn’t submit to experimental avant-garde journals.”

The group worked through an extensive list of Nickerson’s tips and tricks of the trade. The advice included tidbits such as keeping up to date on the journals you’re submitting to, as well as submitting work of different genres separately. Each point was also backed and explained by Nickerson, to provide further understanding of the information in a real-world context.

Specific tips included the fact that the central branch of the Vancouver Public Library has an amazing selection of journals from Canada, England, and around the world, as well as Nickerson’s list of organizations that could be quite auspicious to writers. These included Places for Writers, Poets and Writers, Writers’ Union of Cana-

da, and many more.

It is imperative that as a writer, you keep writing. Nickerson referenced a wonderful quote that perfectly describes the relationship a writer has with their writing: “I hate writing, I love having written.” We can get so caught up in the business end of things, and put our work off to the side to let it collect dust, but we must always remember to come back, and continue where we left off.

After the bewildering amount of info, Nickerson opened the group up for questions. Attendees asked about his personal experiences, and his advice on certain subjects and instances. This prompted more helpful discussion, and witty banter.

Nickerson urged students to use the avenues available to them at UFV, such as our own literary magazine, the Louden Singletree. Poets and spoken word fans were also encouraged to attend poetry readings on March 21 at 4:30 p.m. at the Canoe restaurant in the Student Union Building and on March 28 at 4:00 p.m. at U House.

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CULTURE Column // Physics

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

and Folly

The physicist’s world

MIKE FRIESEN STAFF WRITER

So there’s this thing us physicists do pretty much any time we have to model something about the real world: we simplify the situation. We have a basketball? Who cares about air resistance or a bit of energy lost on the bounce; of course the ground is perfectly flat and frictionless; the ball changes direction instantaneously; you know what, let’s not even worry about that pesky third dimension. Who needs depth anyways?

But what would the world look like if these assumptions weren’t just assumptions, but rather traits of the world we lived in? And so I present to you a new world, one where the physicists get to run the simulation for a change.

Part One: Death and destruction.

Probably the most common assumption within any first year student’s calculations is that all surfaces are smooth and frictionless.

It’s hard to say exactly how many people are driving a car at any given time, but the average American adult spends about 100 minutes a day driving in a country of about 260 million cars.

The rest of the world combined, however, only has about three times as many cars as the U.S., but if they’re all driven roughly as much as an American car is, we can estimate that there’s about sixty million people on the road at any given time, or rather, there were sixty million people on the road until friction was turned off to save on computation time.

Now there are sixty million people in a ditch; or sliding across some hapless farmer’s field; or more likely, hitting bunch of small objects — traffic cones, tumbleweeds, shrapnel from nearby collisions, which sends them scattering across a slipn’-slide world, while their car slides with nothing but air resistance to... Hmm, that reminds me.

Part Two: More death and destruction. I think we can all agree that air resistance is really pesky. It’s not the easiest

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factor to model in the first place. Air is a fluid and fluids are notoriously hard to apply physics to. So let’s turn that off, too.

Newton’s first law states that an object in motion will remain in motion. Never has this statement been more true. Physicists everywhere rejoice, slip, and fall over.

Meanwhile, about twenty thousand pilots and co-pilots are suddenly very surprised when they find themselves falling out of the sky. You see, planes could be said to stay in the air due to air resisting the pull of gravity. It’s not a good description, but it is a description.

Using a gloriously simple kinematics calculation, we’ll find that exactly 24.9 seconds pass before the world’s passenger planes — all flying neatly at 10,000 feet off course — come smashing into the ground.

At the moment of impact, the horizontal speed of the plane matches almost exactly the vertical speed, roughly 250 metres per second or 880 kilometres per hour.

The statisticians on board find brief satisfaction in this fact before being crushed under the force of the collision.

Part three: Peace and harmony. I’m just kidding, of course. Emboldened by the sudden ease of physics everywhere (and the necessity-no-longer of wool socks to slide around your living room) the physicists in charge of our simulation decide to flip all the switches at once, turning the world into a homogenous frictionless sphere of uniform density in a vacuum, but without all those crazy and difficult equations of special and general relativity, where everything is nice and no energy is lost during collisions and — oh wait, we need air to breathe, right?

Part four: The universe is now blissfully simple. Across the black void of the universe, all that remains is a single, perfect blue marble.

A man in a creaky office chair glances over at his computer that, after 13.8 billion years, finally stops whirring. “Huh,” he says to no one in particular. Following wisdom older than time, he turns it off and on again.

Column //

Kin Korner

The importance of mental and physical balance in life for a student athlete

SIERRA RAI CONTRIBUTOR

Every day we make choices and actions that subconsciously affect our physical bodies and mental processes. The ability for student athletes to make positive choices while maintaining their overall well-being can be a difficult task.

The demands of sports teams, university, and personal life can pile up rapidly making it difficult to have balance in one’s physical and mental health. It can be difficult for one to not be overloaded and stressed by all demands required of them, but it’s of the utmost importance to remember that balance is key to personal well-being.

The importance of having self-efficacy, and to believe in yourself and your abilities is vital in order to achieve positive outcomes. If one attains self-efficacy, and gains the ability to believe that they can achieve all their goals, even with all the demands placed on them, then this step will lead to positive physical and mental well-being.

It is important that student athletes understand the stress placed on themselves by performing not only with teams in a sport, but also in the classroom as a student. Student athletes are commonly described as perfectionists. Perfectionism is defined as striving for flawless-

ness, and setting exceedingly high standards for performance, accompanied by tendencies for overly critical evaluations.

With perfectionism comes the detrimental aspect of burnout, which is harmful to our mental well-being. Student athletes must adequately prepare, set goals, and prioritize their demands in order to be mentally fit.

Research from the academic journal Personality and Individual Differences found that healthy perfectionists showed higher levels of self-confidence and lower levels of anxiety, revealing that there is a positive aspect of striving for perfection, but we must understand our limits in order to not be affected by burnout.

Overall, student athletes must understand and listen to their bodies in order to be physically and mentally healthy.

The key to becoming the best version of ourselves is to understand how we can function at an optimal level, which will in turn serve to make us mentally and physically positive in overall well-being.

It is essential that student athletes listen to their body’s warning signs to understand when they’re pushing their limits. We must all create a healthy balance of all of life’s demands in order to create overall positive well-being. What’s the point in working hard towards a long a healthy lifestyle if you can’t enjoy it?

CULTURE

Cascade Events Calendar

March

Note: Some of these events require tickets, most are on Facebook.

If something catches your eye, take to the internet for more details.

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2018-19 UFV SUS Budget: Student Focus Group @ SUS Office?

(Abbotsford Campus), 4:30 - 6:00 p.m.

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Art On Demand 4.2 Opening Reception @ The Reach Gallery Museum (Abbotsford), 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

UFV Conference //

Riverdale ‘semiacademic’ conference

Self Advocacy Conference @ Quality Hotel & Conference Centre (Abbotsford), 9:00 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.

Roots and Blues Night w/ Harpdog Brown & the Travelin’ Blues Show @ Tractorgrease Cafe (Chilliwack), 7:00 - 9:30 p.m.

Colin James Blues Trio @ Clarke Theatre (Mission), 7:30 p.m.

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Creativfestival @ Tradex (Abbotsford), 9:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.

CreWri UFV: Deliciously Descriptive Writing @ Room A315 (Abbotsford Campus), 11:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m.

Creativfestival @ Tradex (Abbotsford), 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.

My Chilliwack Writing Workshop @ Chilliwack Museum and Archives, 10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.

Opening Reception: The Poetry of Art @ Kariton Art Gallery (Abbotsford), 6:00 - 8:00 p.m.

St. Paddy’s Day Bash @ Tractorgrease Cafe (Chilliwack), 7:00 - 11:59 p.m.

Kings of the Mic @ Replay Boardshop (Abbotsford), 7:00 - 10:00 p.m.

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Mac’s 14th Birthday Party! @ UFV Peer Resource and Leadership Centre (Abbotsford Campus), Noon - 2:00 p.m.

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Unpacking the Backpack, a one-woman show by Charlene Hellson @ Room F124 (University House), 1:30 - 4:00 p.m.

Hearing Trees: Quiet Dreams tour @ The Railyard (Mission), 7:00 11:00 p.m.

Poetry Now: A lecture with Miriam Nichols @ Room A225 (Abbotsford Campus), 4:00 - 5:30 p.m.

Screaming at Traffic with Atodaso @ Carport Manor (Abbotsford), 8:00 - 10:00 p.m.

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The Tequila Mockingbird Orchestra @ Tractorgrease Cafe (Chilliwack), 7:00 - 9:30 p.m.

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CreWri UFV: Again! Again! Again! @ A315 (Abbotsford Campus), 11:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m.

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Ben Rogers @ Tractorgrease Cafe (Chilliwack), 7:00 - 9:30 p.m.

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Roots & Blues Night with the Jesse Waldman Trio @ Tractorgrease Cafe (Chilliwack), 7:00 - 9:30 p.m.

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Red Haven @ Tractorgrease Cafe (Chilliwack), 7:00 - 9:30 p.m.

Riverdale: A Land of Contrasts conference at UFV U-House. March 11. (The Cascade)

JOEL ROBERTSON-TAYLOR EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

On Sunday, academics and fans gathered in UFV Abbotsford campus’ U House for a semi-academic conference to discuss the CW and Netflix teen drama, Riverdale.

The conference, titled “Riverdale: A Land of Contrasts” gave presenters from a variety of backgrounds the opportunity to showcase their Riverdale-related thoughts, work, and research.

Heather McAlpine, UFV English professor and one of the event’s organizers, said this was the first semi-academic, “fun conference” she’s been a part of, but she’d love to do it again.

“We had strong presentations (a mix of scholarly papers, first-person talks, and creative projects), and good attendance,” McAlpine said.

Around 40 people, made up of a mix of UFV faculty and students, students from other universities, and members of the

public attended the conference over the course of the day.

Discussion topics included the history of Archie comics, the character’s inevitable mortality based on the show’s “timebound” world, and an artist’s reimaging of the Archie world in a body-positive light, among others.

The day ended at Rocko’s Diner, the Mission diner that’s filmed as Pop’s Diner in the show, where attendees enjoyed burgers and shakes.

McAlpine said that if it feels right, there could be another similar conference next year.

“I’m not sure whether Riverdale itself will continue to occupy the same sort of place in our psyches next year that it does now… maybe something else will come along that would be fun to pursue. I’m open to suggestions. Regardless of topic, the format was just so much fun.”

Film Screening: The Human Flow by Ai Weiwei @ Room A235 (Abbotsford Campus), 4:00 - 7:00 p.m.

Fraser Valley Filth @ The Vineyard (Chilliwack), 7:00 - 10:00 p.m.

Chilliwack with Prism @ Clarke Theatre (Mission), 7:30 p.m.

Rocko’s Diner, veiled as Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe. Mission, B.C. (Wikipedia Commons)

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ARTS

Martin Castro — Arts Editor

arts@ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

Album Review //

CHARTS

SHUFFLE

1

SUPERORGANISM Superorganism

JOEL ROBERTSON-TAYLOR

2

PONCTUATION Mon Herbier Du Monde

3

U.S. GIRLS In A Poem Unlimited

4

SHAMIR Revelations

As y’all know, cool-cat CIVL Station Manager Aaron Levy writes the CIVL Shuffle each week.

This week he’s MIA, so I’ll carry out the duties.

The Cascade recently installed a disco ball in the front room.

This week’s shuffle is all about grooving, jiving, and moving to the music.

5

SHOPPING The Official Body

6

PEACH KELLI POP Crooked and Crazy

7

BIRD CITY Winnowing

An all time greatest hit. This far out track is dyno-mite! Last time I listened to it, I practically turned into a funkadelic chic freak. Do yourself a favour, and get down with the boogie.

8

HOP ALONG How Simple

Shuggie Otis — Strawberry Letter 23

9

MUD BAY BLUES BAND Live at Lorenzo’s

Apparently some people think this track was The Brothers Johnson’s tune. Let me learn you the skinny: it certainly was, but the inerrable Shuggie wrote it. Shuggie’s the son of Johnny Otis, and Shuggie is perhaps the most underappreciated guitarist of all time. If you’ve got a few minutes, listen to “Sweet Thang,” then “Strawberry Letter 23,” ya dig?

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NAP EYES I’m Bad Now

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JAMES HOLDEN AND THE ANIMAL SPIRIT Song For A Lost Pod

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CHARLOTTE DAY WILSON Stone Woman

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ANGEL FORREST Electric Love

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KRISTIAN NORTH The Last Rock N Roll Record

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FRANKIE COSMOS Jesse

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PALE HORSEMAN The Fourth Seal

17

BHURRA Twisted Love

18

STEVEN TROCH BAND Rhymes for Mellow Minds

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ALVVAYS Antisocialites

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JULIA HOLTER Live at RAK: In The Same Room

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CAPABLE, YET CAPELESS, EIC

Young Fathers further revolutionize themselves, genre-dependent music industry continues to fall behind

Kool & the Gang — Jungle Boogie

Toots & the Maytals — Funky Kingston Though not disco, I’ve been dancing to this just about every day for the last two weeks.

If you see a long-haired goof dancing in The Cascade’s office while everyone else is hard at work, it’s me.

Abba — Take a Chance on Me When it comes to sugary pop music, Abba is the ultimate. Truly, they are unparalleled, and this 1978 hit will remain Sweden’s second greatest contribution to the world. Ikea is third, Julian Assange is first.

To the girl I briefly interacted with in the SUB on Monday: If you change your mind, I’m the first in line, Honey I’m still free, take a chance on me. You know who you are.

MARTIN CASTRO ARTS EDITOR

I would like to think that as a music-listening public we’ve grown out of the habit of drawing hard genre lines when it comes to new acts, but I know that we haven’t.

Kendrick Lamar is still a rapper, the music that FKA Twigs makes is still referred to as R&B. I get it. We need these labels to understand the genre-specific context of whatever we’re listening to. It serves a purpose, and consequently we’ve grown accustomed to dismissing individual works as symptomatic of genres before we even consider them.

“Oh, rap (or pop or country or rock or folk)? I don’t like that.”

Let me ask you to suspend this impulsion to label things for just one second, and consider Young Fathers’ latest record.

Young Fathers are a Londonbased trio that have been at it since 2008. And while they’ve always been kind of experimental, they’ve focused on putting together some really engaging pop songs over the last 10 years.

2014’s “Soon Come Soon,” for example, edges right up to the threshold of what can be considered a conventional pop song, while 2015’s “Get Started” is one of most immediately earnest R&B

songs (in the traditional sense of the genre) to come out in years.

On Cocoa Sugar, the trio moves forward in just about all areas. The record gives us a new step in Young Fathers’ evolution; it’s not quite rap or pop or R&B, but at the same time, it’s all three.

Although it can at times disguise itself as a top-40 song waiting to be sampled and repeated (pick any three-second snippet of “Border Girl”), there’s a revolutionary brightness that shines through the bleak openings of tracks that are clearly fueled by strife. That said, there are more conventional rap tracks on the record (or at least songs that approximate rap conventionality), such as the bass-driven “Wow,” which screams for a rapper to jump in on its first half, and pole-vaults expectations by shifting into a Tricky or Massive Attack-esque sample-loop halfway through.

For the most part, though, Young Fathers succeed in taking a set genre and subverting it to the point that it becomes distinctly theirs. I was never part of the first wave of Kanye listeners that had to deal with the fact that the man seemed bent on making [insert genre here]-themed rap records, but I can imagine that this is how they must have felt.

That said, the comparison

isn’t the most cogent, since while Kanye skipped to and fro between genres, he didn’t necessarily pour them all into a bowl and swim in them. That’s what Young Fathers are doing on Cocoa Sugar. Apart from exploring the emotional ripples that follow trauma, the band have made child’s play of pulling from whatever genres they seem to damn well please.

It’s as if the music on Cocoa Sugar was made by a trio of young men brimming with passion, who have had the concept of music described to them, but up until they began recording, never made music before. The resulting project pulls from just about every genre staple, while retaining its own shining individuality in the face of a public that seems to demand with more fervency every day that artists produce either “rap” or “pop” or “R&B” or “rock.”

They might be an island unto themselves, but I hope Young Fathers’ emergence marks the beginning of an era in music production that’s less marked by whether artists try to take on a genre, and is instead defined by a group of talented and passionate people going “Here’s what I made.

I don’t know what it’s called, but my heart is in it.”

ARTS

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2018

Soundbites //

Soundbites //

George Fitzgerald All That Must Be I spent this last weekend on my patio soaking up the sunshine, and looking at economics notes periodically. In between my brief study sessions I was surfing the web, checking out some new albums that dropped in 2018, and came across George FitzGerald’s All That Must Be, which came out on March 9. The album is electronic/pop, with decent head bobbing beats. It totally takes me back to highschool, just driving around with pals, absolutely no destination in mind,

Vundabar Smell Smoke pounding tunes at a volume that probably had negative long-lasting effects on my hearing. FitzGerald’s vocal tracks are the ones that I liked the most, worth adding to a playlist. Overall, I liked the album, not too “clubby,” but still energizing. Definitely recommend.

–Quintin Stamler

is hiring a Feature Editor

In the grand scheme of things, the state of rock music today is ephemeral at best, ever-dwindling at worst. (At least when it comes to the kind of rock that isn’t preoccupied with being wholly confrontational as an end goal.)

That said, there are outfits like Boston’s Vundabar who have managed to dodge the pop-ification of music without resorting to a radical opposition in order to define themselves. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with aes-

thetic opposition (Big Ups drops a new album in two months, everyone!) but it’s nice to see a band creatively thriving within a genre that has become as hitand-miss as rock.

If you’re bored and waiting around for a bus, there are worse records to turn to than Vundabar’s Smell Smoke.

–Martin Castro

UFV Yoga Club

Feature editor writes or edits The Cascade's centre spread feature each week: 2000-4000 words.

For more info, email kat@ufvcascade.ca Looking to get more involved on campus? Look no further!

The UFV Yoga Club executive team is looking for new members.

Contact Vivienne Beard at vivienne.beard@student.ufv.ca for more information.

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It'll be on the green.