The Cascade Vol. 22 No. 12

Vol. 22 Issue 12

www.ufvcascade.ca

April 2, 2014 to April 8, 2014

Penultimate since 1993

Sifting the bull from the shit with David Barsamian p. 10-11

A new homeless task force in Abbotsford p. 2

A tale of two brothers and a seven-month kayak trip p. 19

2

NEWS

News

Briefs

News

5

Opinion

6

Culture

12

Arts

16

Sports & Health

18

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

Bif Naked returns

From a punk rock career to cancer, honorary doctorate recipient, Bif Naked returned to UFV on March 26. Promoting the message “fake it till you make it” and “if you believe it, you can achieve it,” Bif motivated the audience to take active roles in their community.

Looking for clubs in all the wrong places

New students often feel overwhelmed embarking on their academic careers.

Could UFV do better at helping them get integrated into clubs at the school? Melissa Ly shares her two cents.

Louden Singletree launch party draws a crowd

A night of poetry, art, and celebration: contributors shared their work at the annual launch of UFV’s literary and artistic journal.

Television, television!

Arts editor Sasha Moedt discusses what happens when a series moves from web to TV in this week’s discussion, revolving around new show Broad City.

Awards season comes to UFV

The Cascade’s Nathan Hutton talks to Nicole Wierks, academic athlete of the year, about taking national bronze with the women’s basketball team, learning from losing, and what’s next after graduation.

Cascade referendum April 7-9 For referendum round two, The Cascade is taking a second kick at the can, asking for a modest $1.50. Sign on to myUFV between April 7 and 9 to vote for better coverage, better quality and an all around stronger newspaper.

Just a paper, standing in front of a student body, asking it to love us Cascade referendum 2.0 hits myUFV next week for an increase of $1.50 DESSA BAYROCK

THE CASCADE

Penny Park returns to UFV Honorary doctorate recipient Penny Park returned to UFV on April 1 as part of the President Leadership Lecture Series. Her talk focused on the Science Media Centre, looking at the intersection of science and communication. Complete details of her visit to follow.

Changes on the table for health and dental SUS will be hosting its health and dental referendum from April 10 to 16. Do you accept an increase of the health and dental coverage to $215.59?

Do you accept tying the fee to inflation? The increase will allow increased dental, prescription, and practitioner coverage as well as the introduction of glasses and contact coverage.

Have a news tip?

Let us know!

Email news@ufvcascade.ca or tweet at @CascadeNews

Earlier this semester, The Cascade held a referendum.

We asked UFV students to approve a fee increase of $1.50, which would bring The Cascade’s fee to a total of $6 per semester. We also asked to tie it to inflation, which would allow the fee to increase up to 2.5 per cent every year with the cost of operating.

This referendum failed by eight votes.

But considering only 289 people voted, the referendum kind of failed by a lot more than eight votes. Over 9000 students were eligible to vote; only three per cent of them actually did. Clearly, we did something wrong.

We’re back this month with another referendum, asking for the same increase.

The truth is, we’re between a rock and a hard place. We’re reaching the point of semester where students are suffering from voter’s fatigue.

But many of the current staff and board members, who have been working towards a referendum for the last year, will be graduating or leaving at the end of the summer.

So this second referendum is born out of two things: the fact that we’ve put in so much work already, and the fact that so few people voted in the

Volume 22 · Issue 12 Room C1027 33844 King Road Abbotsford, BC V2S 7M8 604.854.4529 Editor-in-chief dessa@ufvcascade.ca Dessa Bayrock Managing editor michael@ufvcascade.ca Michael Scoular Business manager joe@ufvcascade.ca Joe Johnson Online editor ashley@ufvcascade.ca Ashley Mussbacher Copy editor katie@ufvcascade.ca Katie Stobbart

Image: Cascade archives

With the same optimism as this cheerful dog, The Cascade is getting back on the referendum horse that threw us off in January. first poll..

So this week we’re going pedal to the metal to rally up awareness and more voters.

SUS had around 315 people vote in its most recent election, and CIVL had around 550 in its fee increase referendum in January. There is no policy in place that sets a bar for how many people must vote for a

referendum to count, but our goal is to boost our numbers as much as we can. Whether it passes or fails, we want it to be by more than eight votes.

I wouldn’t have been comfortable accepting the last referendum’s results — because so few people voted, because the margin between YES and NO was so slim, and because

News editor jess@ufvcascade.ca Jess Wind

News writer katherine@ufvcascade.ca Katherine Gibson

Opinion editor brittney@ufvcascade.ca Brittney Hensman

Production manager stewart@ufvcascade.ca Stewart Seymour

Culture editor valerie@ufvcascade.ca Valerie Franklin

Art director anthony@ufvcascade.ca Anthony Biondi

Arts editor sasha@ufvcascade.ca Sasha Moedt Varsity reporter nathan@ufvcascade.ca Nathan Hutton Staff writer nadine@ufvcascade.ca Nadine Moedt Staff writer breckles@ufvcascade.ca Taylor Breckles

Production assistant production@ufvcascade.ca Kaitlyn Gendemann Photojournalist blake@ufvcascade.ca Blake McGuire Contributors Vivienne Beard, Christopher DeMarcus, Jeremy Hannaford, Jeff Hughes, Kelsey Lamb, Melissa Ly, Thomas Nyte, Rachelle Strelezki, and Tim Ubels Cover image Anthony Biondi

I know we could have tried even harder to get as many votes as possible.

At the end of the day, I strongly believe in what The Cascade does and what it stands for. We serve as a training ground for the next generation of journalists, we explore UFV-related stories in detail when local newspapers can’t spare the manpower, and over the past year we’ve detailed SUS goings-on more thoroughly than ever before.

On a more sentimental level, we bring the school back to the students. The majority of our readers tell us they pick the paper up when they’re waiting for the bus or for class, or when they’re procrastinating.

In those in-between moments, we connect the student body together — reminding them of the research our professors do, reminding them of the clubs and events that bring life to the campus, and reminding them why they pay fees every semester and what those fees are for.

It’s the end of semester, and you probably have a lot on your mind. But if you have a minute and a dollar-and-a-half to spare, I hope you think of The Cascade this coming week. Our referendum runs from April 7 to 9 through myUFV.

Printed By International Web exPress The Cascade is UFV’s autonomous student newspaper. It provides a forum for UFV students to have their journalism published. It also acts as an alternative press for the Fraser Valley. The Cascade is funded with UFV student funds. The Cascade is published every Wednesday with a circulation of 1500 and is distributed at UFV campuses and throughout Abbotsford, Chilliwack, and Mission. The Cascade is a member of the Canadian University Press, a national cooperative of 75 university and college newspapers from Victoria to St. John’s. The Cascade follows the CUP ethical policy concerning material of a prejudicial or oppressive nature.

Submissions are preferred in electronic format through e-mail. Please send submissions in “.txt” or “.doc” format only.

Articles and letters to the editor must be typed. The Cascade reserves the right to edit submissions for clarity and length. The Cascade will not print any articles that contain racist, sexist, homophobic or libellous content. The writer’s name and student number must be submitted with each submission. Letters to the editor must be under 250 words if intended for print. Only one letter to the editor per writer in any given edition.

Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect that of UFV, Cascade staff and collective, or associated members.

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NEWS

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

New Abbotsford homelessness task force creates municipal controversy KATHERINE GIBSON

THE CASCADE

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past year, you know homelessness is a hot-button issue in Abbotsford. True to form, the City’s announcement on March 20 of a new “task force on homelessness” has brought with it expected controversy.

The task force, which is made up of individuals representing organizations such as B.C. Housing, faith-based organizations, as well as the Abbotsford Police Department and Abbotsford’s Chamber of Commerce, will look to create solutions that address homelessness within the city.

As Mayor Bruce Banman explains, this task force was put together with the intention of placing key “decision makers” in the same room, in order to come up with practical solutions.

“There has been extensive thought put into this to bring decision makers to the table,” Banman says.

“Everybody around that table all has one unified goal and that is to come up with solutions.”

However, noticeably missing from the task force are agencies like 5 and 2 Ministries that play an active role in working with the homeless populations in Abbotsford on a daily basis.

Although Abbotsford Community Services (ACS) is represented through Food Bank representative Dave Murray, the leading figures with knowledge of Abbotsford’s homeless issue at ACS, such as executive director Rod Santiago, were never approached to sit on the board.

Image: Katherine Gibson

Abbotsford’s homeless debate adds another layer as the City annouced its new task force.

The lack of these agencies’ presence is of great concern to the executive director of 5 and 2 Ministries, Ward Draper, who says that without these “frontline” agencies the City’s task force risks misrepresenting or misunderstanding the issue.

“Our greatest concern with this homelessness task force [is

that] the four major primary agencies that deal with these [homeless] community issues are not represented,” Draper says. “The ones that are literally on the front lines daily: Cyrus centre, [which deals with] youth homelessness; The Warm Zone, [which helps] the women on the street; the Sal-

vation Army; [and] the 5 and 2 [Ministries] — the four key agencies that keep people alive every day on the streets are not even represented.”

ACS community relations representative Jana Dieleman echoes Draper’s concerns, questioning why members of commerce are on the task force,

while people and agencies who are “the boots on the ground” are absent.

In response to these concerns, Banman says these agencies will still have their input and voices heard, despite not sitting directly on board.

“It was deemed by those who were putting [the task force] together that if we want to get results, this was the committee we needed to have,” Banman says. “There will be extensive consultation done by the committee members with service providers, such as the Salvation Army [and] 5 and 2 [Ministries] — there will be an opportunity for that to happen.”

Banman further noted that the City is still in talks with B.C. Housing to keep the $2.6 million that was intended for the ACS proposed supportive housing project, but voted down by the council due to rezoning, in order to help address the issue.

Although the task force, which has not officially met yet, intends to come up with solutions for Abbotsford’s homeless population, Draper asserts that the citizens will need to keep them accountable by pushing for more inclusive representation of those actively involved in the homeless issue.

“I would encourage students … to get on [the city’s] case and make this a true task force, something that will have legs,” Draper says. “Task forces have proven effective and they have been constructive … but that’s when the full spectrum is represented and not just a group of elites that have read a couple of documents.”

Eugenie Scott contextualizes creationism versus intelligent design debate TAYLOR BRECKLES

THE CASCADE

Despite heated audience discussion, Dr. Eugenie Scott delivered a professional and all-encompassing lecture on human origins.

Scott, a physical anthropologist and former university professor, was invited to speak on March 28 by the Fraser Valley Atheists, Skeptics, and Humanists Society as well as the UFV Biology Department.

Although the lecture, titled “Everything Evolves — Including Creationism,” is a sensitive topic to many, Scott spent most of her lecture discussing the history behind the ideas of both intelligent design and special creationism as well as why the theory of evolution is rejected.

Intelligent design discusses the thought that a superior being must have created life, as it is too complex to have arisen by chance; special creationism explores the idea that all life was created in its present form by a divine being. The supporters

of both of these theories, Scott explained, were forces which brought the case of teaching evolution in schools to court several times. A large portion of Scott’s lecture was spent focusing on these trials in the US in order to show the progression of ideas throughout our history.

Apart from providing information regarding the history of the topics, Scott also confronted many of the common arguments against the theory of evolution and touched on observable examples which disprove these objections.

The idea that the great flood, prior to which Noah built his ark as per God’s instructions, created the Grand Canyon, was one such example.

Scott explained both sides of the argument: on one side that the flood was able to carve out the canyon with a large amount of water during a small period of time, and on the other hand that fossil evidence and geological principles pointed to an evolutionary earth.

After her lecture, Scott

opened the floor for audience discussion.

It began gently with queries such as “what is the difference between microevolution and macroevolution?” but escalated once the topic of “anti-intellectualism of creationists” was brought up. In response, Scott delicately, but firmly stated that she does not agree that creationists lack intelligence.

The next speaker prompted more audience reaction. A woman stood up in order to challenge the lecture. She began by demanding proof in favour of the theory of evolution other than fossils, saying she didn’t find that evidence satisfactory. Scott returned with geological evidence, but was her only response before the audience jumped in, debating

with each other instead of Dr. Scott.

Once the lecture had officially concluded, some of the more passionate evolutionists and the creationists continued to express their opinions, deciding to move it to Moxie’s restaurant. While Scott presented aspects on all sides of the debate, there was still no conclusion arrived at.

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4

NEWS

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

Science on Purpose

Three things you didn’t know about your friendly neighbourhood squid At least one of which you haven’t heard before, guaranteed*

By Dessa Bayrock There are some things you can never know enough about, which is why this week’s column is a collection of things you probably didn’t know about everyone’s favourite cephalopod — the squid.

Squid are difficult to study; where other sea life can be kept and observed in aquariums, the squid’s natural habitat is the open ocean. Living quarters for an octopus can be recreated fairly easily, since octopods like to hang out in rocky outcroppings and cave areas. Translating miles of open ocean into an enclosure for squids, however, is a different story altogether.

But while it’s pretty much impossible to study squid in captivity, researchers are slowly building a wealth of facts and figures from watching squid in the wild.

The colossal squid Disproportionate creature of the deep The giant squid is known for being, well, giant. But what do you name a squid species that’s larger than the giant squid?

Meet the colossal squid, or Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni.

It’s one of the rarest species of squid on the planet, and only six specimens have ever been caught. Researchers estimate it can grow up to 45 feet long, which is just a little shorter than a school bus. However, most specimens are only a couple meters long; a particularly large one caught in Antarctica in 2007 measured about 30 feet from top to tentacle.

The colossal squid is actually about the same length as a giant squid, and the colossal’s tentacles actually clock in a little shorter than the giant squid’s. The squid earns its title for its giant, giant top half — the fleshy part of the squid, known as the mantle, which is two to three times heavier than the corresponding part on the giant squid.

But like most alarmingly enormous animals, the colossal squid is a gentle giant — and with a bulbous, disproportionate body, it’s more of a comical sidekick of the deep than a monster.

Excellent eyes It’s not the size that counts … or is it?

Squid lay claim to the largest eyes on the planet; the colossal squid beats the blue whale by a fair margin. Even the eyes of smaller squid are quite large; the Humboldt squid’s eyes are the size and shape of cupcakes.

But the size of squid eyes has, until recently, confused researchers; theoretically, a squid shouldn’t need eyes bigger than an orange to see prey, even in extreme low-light situations. After having a chance to study the eyes of a colossal squid, however, researcher Dan-Eric Nilsson at Lund University in Sweden says the eyes might be designed to track predators, not prey. The larger eye is designed not only to see food nearby, but also large and far-away objects — such as the sperm whale, one of the squid’s main predators.

But perhaps coolest of all, squid eyes have no blind spot — unlike human eyes, where the optic nerve creates a visionless spot that the brain fills in automatically. Squid don’t have that problem; their optic nerves are organized differently, meaning they can see everything without the brain having to fill in the gaps.

The squid rocket It’s a bird! It’s a plane!

It’s a squid?

Squid move around their ocean habitat using what is basically jet propulsion; they suck water in and shoot it out to cruise around.

But it’s only one short evolution from jet power to rocket power, as squid seem to have realized; many species not only jet themselves through the water, but can jet themselves above the surface and take short flights through the air.

The orangeback flying squid (as the name may suggest) has mastered this skill; at twoand-a-half inches in length, it can launch itself out of the water for several feet of flight at a time and hit speeds of five miles an hour.

There are several reasons squid may choose flight instead of simply swimming around. First of all, it can make for a clever and unexpected escape if a squid is being chased by a predator. It also takes less effort to move through the air than through the water — the squid can save about 20 per cent of its energy by taking to the surface.

Finally, as Dr. Craig McClain of Deep Sea News suggests, maybe squid just have a grand old time doing it.

“Who wouldn’t want to be a rocket?” he says. “Why be an astronaut when you can be a rocket?”

*Editor’s note: not guaranteed

5

NEWS

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

“Fake it until you make it”

Bif Naked, who received an honorary doctorate from UFV last spring, returned to talk to students JEFF HUGHES

CONTRIBUTOR

Canadian punk rock star and honorary doctorate holder Bif Naked returned to UFV as part of the President’s Leadership Lecture Series this spring.

As an author, survivor of cancer and heart surgery, political activist, and general humanitarian, Bif has become a well-sought-after motivational speaker and attracted a crowd of both students and community members to the Abbotsford campus gym on March 26.

Engaged to speak on positivity and leadership, her talk centred on the theme of “if you believe, you can achieve.”

Which isn’t to say that if you merely believe in a thing that it will come to pass. She told the audience that we need to work toward fulfilling our goals and not give up, closely following the examples of those we view as leaders in our lives.

She pointed out that if “you can fake it until you make it, your skills will catch up to you,” meaning that if we believe we can do something, or

have a dream, we can work toward it as a goal by making it a primary focus in our lives, even if our skill levels at a particular thing are not yet high enough to meet that goal. She cited her song “I Love Myself Today” as an example of something she had to fake at the time it was written but became reality with time and practice.

Although she said she doesn’t view herself as a leader, she could be seen filling that role, standing as an example to those who have suffered from cancer, been affected by women’s rights issues, or even those who aspire to a musical career.

This was reaffirmed during the question and answer period when one woman asked her about eating disorders.

Bif responded by discussing her experience confronting her own one while working as an active touring musician.

“I went through my entire 20s without realizing I had an eating disorder,” she said.

During that time Bif slept an average of three hours a night and ate small amounts of food.

She said she was so thin that,

Image: UFV/ flickr

Education and community involvement were at the top of Bif Naked’s must-do list. at one photo shoot, she had to wear size negative zero clothing.

Stressing the importance of education in becoming community leaders as well as maintaining strong family ties if possible, Bif mentioned her father telling her as she grew up that university, the military,

or missionary work would help bring maturity. She went on to note her parents’ pivotal role in shaping who she is.

“My greatest accomplishment besides my honorary doctorate has been supporting my parents,” she said, adding, “they taught me to be socially conscious and socially vocal.”

With students and members of the community clinging to the motivational words, Bif’s talk inspired the audience to become leaders in our families and communities, and to succeed in our life goals no matter what they are.

A therapy dog’s journey to Baker house “She would be perfect for new students, or students with mental health issues” NADINE MOEDT

THE CASCADE

Janine Pijpstra would like to be able to bring her dog to school.

Pijpstra, who is currently heading into her third year at UFV, is in the midst of a practicum in social work. Her goal?

To get her trained therapy dog, Jamie, into Baker house.

Pijpstra hopes to make Jamie accessible for students overwhelmed or struggling with settling in at UFV. “She would be perfect for new students, or students with mental health issues, or [those dealing with] the difficulties of coming out,” Pijpstra says.

Therapy dogs work as a social lubricant, giving the mentor — in this case, Pijpstra — and the student who needs help something to talk about to break the ice. Jamie has been certified by the St. John Ambulance therapy dog program, which employs rigorous testing to make sure the dogs are, as Pijpstra describes it, “bullet proof.”

St. John’s tests the dog’s reaction to typical hospital settings, as well as more trying and distressed situations. Pijpstra says that at one point, a tester dressed up in a hospital robe and started “screaming and hitting the dogs.”

“She can’t react to that,” Pijpstra says. “She can’t react if somebody steps on her, pushes her, [or] takes her treat away.”

There is also testing for any signs of aggression with other dogs or with people with disabilities and in wheelchairs.

Evaluators also watch how the owner interacts with the dog, and how well the dog responds

Image: Janine Pijpstra

Therapy dogs like Jamie offer unconditional affection, which students far from home may need. to the commands of the owner.

The owners are also given an orientation on how to act with patients.

According to the St. John’s website, certified therapy dogs like Jamie provide a plethora of benefits to visitors, including a reduction in stress and blood pressure levels. The dogs offer unconditional affection, which calms and comforts visitors.

Pijpstra feels that having Ja-

mie accessible to Baker House students would be beneficial to the residents there. Moving out on one’s own is a difficult and often isolating experience, as Pijpstra knows all too well.

“I would have loved to have something like this [in my first year]. To have someone take you aside and tell you it’s not that bad. The first year is always hard,” she says.

Pijpstra and Jamie hope to be

available once or twice a week to residents, where they could go for advice from an older student or just a bit of affection from a very special dog.

Pijpstra rescued Jamie — whom she describes as an “allAmerican shelter dog” — several years ago.

A therapy dog has to be born with a distinct compassionate disposition, something Pipstra saw in the abandoned Jamie.

“I noticed right away that she had potential,” Pijpstra says.

Pijpstra has worked with therapy dogs before with heroin addicts and found great success.

“If [addicts] don’t want to talk to you, they shut down. So the dog goes up to them and they start talking to the dog.”

Soon a bond is formed, both with the dog and subsequently with the dog’s owner. The patient finds something relatable in the dog and this relaxes and opens them up.

“It always calms them down if they’re nervous or if they’re aggressive,” Pijpstra says. “It’s amazing ... Jamie has an amazing talent. I’ve worked with quite a few [dogs] and she’s special.”

There is a distinct difference between Jamie and Mac, the therapy dog at UFV’s counselling department, Pijpstra says.

“Jamie is a little more punchy and outgoing. These Labrador or retriever dogs are really calm ... Jamie will come to you, she’ll lick you. She’s perfect that way.”

Jamie’s job is to draw visitors out, and get them talking, Pijpstra says.

According to Pijpstra, there are many other universities across Canada who have a therapy dog in residence.

“They’re all happy about it, they all love it. It works perfect for stress of exams, for anything.”

While Jamie might be a wonderful addition to Baker house, the process of getting approval to do that has been a long one.

“You have to go bottom-up,” Pijpstra says. “It’s dragging.

All you want to do is help, and you still have to beg for it.”

6

OPINION

OPINION

SNAPSHOTS

Viva la coffee!

Don’t lock the door

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

This week’s theme:

Justice must prevail

The lie of the librarian career

It’s “just-us” for justice

Taylor Breckles

Ashley Mussbacher

Kelsey Lamb

Dessa Bayrock

From the long lines, grumpy staff, and lack of baked goods, I deem the UFV Abbotsford Tim’s guilty of poor service.

I understand that mornings are horrible, but one of the customer service requirements for staff is to deliver your morning cup-o-joe with a smile, not a grunt. Don’t get me wrong, some of the staff are good about smiling and faking morning joy, but some of them really need a pick-me-up. Honestly, do you live in a garbage can like Oscar the Grouch?

Apart from dealing with morning horrors, Tim’s lack of product is also annoying.

Sometimes you really need a large French vanilla coffee or an “everything” bagel smothered in cream cheese, but those items are not always there.

In my experience the French vanilla and the iced cappucinos are items that disappear a lot, and recently the “everything” bagels have faded away from the arsenal of baked goods.

I understand that machines fail and baking can’t always been done in a timely manner; but will the madness ever end?!

The last few times I’ve stayed late on the Abbotsford campus, it has been for AfterMath events. Usually I order a beer or two, and some water to go with it (because sometimes I’m responsible and I know alcohol dehydrates you).

But everyone knows if you drink large amounts of anything, you’ll eventually have to pee. And when it comes to alcohol, you pee a lot.

I’m not sure who made the rule in facilities to lock all the bathrooms in the evening after cleaning them, but I’d like them to feel my frustration.

Trying to find a bathroom across campus wearing high heels in the dark, when there is a perfectly good bathroom down the hall from the campus pub, is the worst!

Why are the bathrooms getting locked in the first place? Even without students enjoying a few evening drinks at AfterMath, latenight classes are usually in session until 10 p.m.

And I’m sure I’m not the only one who pees before driving home, especially if you commute from Langley or Chilliwack.

Come on, facilities — unlock the doors!

I have a hard time being involved politically.

It’s not that I have a problem with government or that I’m in the, “I am a young person therefore I don’t vote” category.

Rather it’s if environmental, First Nations,’ and women’s rights issues are political, then I am not allowed to be active.

Why is the Canadian government currently letting big oil companies go “fishing” in our preserved national parks?

Why is our international agenda peace, when nationally, the Harper-led government cannot peaceably follow through on the 800 treaties signed by First Nations since “discovering” our home and “native” land?

Aren’t we a multicultural country?

Shouldn’t that act start with the populations that were here before us?

It seems our government has good national ideals behind its voice until political interests — AKA money — blinds their eyes.

If I want to see justice for the environment or for human beings, I can’t see how going through political channels helps to implement change.

I love to read. I’ve always loved to read.

As a kid, adults always thought this was the cutest thing.

“Look at you with that big book!” they’d chuckle, delighted. “Maybe you’ll be a librarian when you grow up!”

So while I’ve never really had an urge to become a librarian, it was always there in the back of my mind as a back-up plan.

But being a librarian has very little, if anything at all, to do with reading books.

That’s like telling someone, “You’re attracted to women? Cool! You should be a gynecologist!”

The last thing I want to do is spend my days examining the way people have misused or neglected the thing I love.

In no way, shape, or form do I want to spend my days watching books come back to the library with bent pages and spaghetti spilled on them.

I love to read, but librarians don’t get to read books all day. In fact, I don’t think anyone gets to read books all day — which is downright unfair.

Why would the world lead me to believe such a perfect career existed? Why?

UFV clubs — Hello!? Are you out there?

MELISSA LY

CONTRIBUTOR

As a former high school club president, I understand it’s impossible to make everything perfect.

You can’t please everyone. You can try your best, but some people only look at the negatives, see the things that still need work, or comment on mistakes rather than recognize your contributions.

However, I do have constructive criticism for the SUS alongside the student organizations at UFV. As a new student trying to find a club to join at UFV, I feel there is a disconnect in the access students have with the actual student organizations.

I have run into a few dead ends trying to locate what student organizations exist at UFV. To start, there is no list available on the UFV website. After emailing around, I found out SUS has a separate website containing a list of all the UFV organizations. Well, I had no idea SUS has a website. Perhaps it is my freshman naïveté and if that is so, I take full responsibility for my ignorance, but I am probably not alone in the matter.

Moreover, when I finally scanned the list of club options, I found it meagre in comparison to SFU and UBC, which are overflowing with clubs for just about anything and everything.

Image: Wikimedia

“It’s too hard for someone new to find a club to join.”

I am open to discovering new interests, but when I looked at the list of 28 clubs, there were only a few that I had any remote interest in. I

know there can only be as many clubs as there are students willing to take initiative to run them, but I suggest improving what we do

have to work with.

It would be helpful if there were at least one-sentence descriptions of the clubs on the website as there

were a handful of clubs which I had no idea what they were about.

Does anybody know what the Hanna Club is, or what it really entails to be part of the Human vs.

Zombies Club? A small description is easy enough. Each year organizations have to submit a registration package and it wouldn’t be difficult to include a short description about their organization in this application.

The last dead end in my search was when I tried to email the few clubs that piqued my interest. I never received a response back.

I am not anti-UFV. I disagree when people say UFV is a crappy university just because it isn’t a “big name” institution. But I do feel that UFV is lacking in its clubs and organizations department. In all actuality, UFV may have great clubs, but since I cannot access them efficiently, how will I ever know how great they are? UFV needs to show that it is not an underdog, and one way to do this is by bridging the communication gap between the students and clubs.

Hey — maybe I’ll make my own club and call it “Community” (after the awesome sitcom Community), or I’ll join SUS and implement these changes myself. But for right now, it’s too hard for someone new to find a club to join.

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OPINION

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

Stick it to the man — don’t sell out

Too many artists fall into the mentality that they must sell themselves to sell their music BRITTNEY HENSMAN

THE CASCADE

We are all influenced by our surroundings. Put a Canadian in England for two years and they’ll come home using words like “loo, chips, chuffed, and knickers,” with a somewhat more rounded vowel to them.

Musicians are influenced by what they listen to too. This may seem like an obvious statement, but do we really take it into account? If you think critically about what you listen to, you’ll soon discover there is nothing (musically) new under the sun. Every artist has been influenced by someone else. This is part of their musical development and inspiration, however, too often artists sell out.

When I say sell out, what I am referring to is the quality of the artist as a whole. This includes musicianship, lyrics, performance, even the way the artist behaves outside the limelight. In the mass money-making industry of music, you get artists who are falling into the “sell-out” model all the time, because the industry is constantly telling them, “you must sell yourself if you want to sell your music.”

Unfortunately, if artists buy into this mentality and sacrifice one of those crucial parts of their art at the expense of the other, it creates room for us to question their authenticity as musicians.

One of the ways I commonly see artists do this is lyrically. Lyrics are a significant portion of a song and artists lose their integrity when they cheap out on the words.

Music as a medium serves the purpose of getting a message across and leading someone into an ex-

Image: Doyouremember.com

“The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind...” — Bob Dylan perience. A song-writing professor I had told once told me that “if you are going to use a song to say something, sing something that matters to you, because the more personal your song, the more uni-

versal it becomes.” People want to relate to real life experienced. She told us if we wanted our songs to matter, we needed to live a life that matters.

When artists lose the creative

aspect of displaying their message through words, they end up with empty lyrics, and where I hear this happen the most is in modern country, pop, and R&B genres.

Think of the stuff you hear on The Beat or JACK FM. Words often get sacrificed for hooky melody lines and a bootyshakin’ beat, or they are used to portray poorly thought-out ideas with bad vocabulary, clichés, and unnecessary sexual references.

Let’s look at Justin Bieber. He was 15 years old when he produced his first album My World and 16 when he came out with My World 2.0. Although we loved his innocence and his super catchy melodies, his lyrics consisted of empty promises, like “I’ll buy you anything, I’ll buy you any ring...”

Really, Justin? You’d do that for me (and the 100 other girls you’re singing too)? I trust you sing about love from all the experience you’ve had with it — at age 15!

Now I don’t want to pick too hard on the Biebs (bless his heart).

He’s a millionaire because women — ahem — I mean teenage girls, love his music and just want to eat him up, but can we really take the songs and performances of Justin Bieber and other similar artists, and come to conclude they have been true to the authenticity of the music? They haven’t — they have been true to the money. So why does our culture deem them as musicians when the music and lyrics are a fraction of why they do what they do?

Many of these musicians are more concerned with erotic dance moves or how flashy they can make their shows than with the music itself — they are using music as a vehicle to create a “unique” identity,

but they end up just looking and acting weird and completely crazy — did anyone see Lady Gaga perform on Jimmy Fallon?

Gaga herself may categorize her work as “Artpop,” but just because you label yourself a trendy name and experiment with creating an eccentric image to receive an eyepopping response from fans, again says nothing about an artist’s musical skill. Rather it points everything about their “work” to what I would consider a narcissistic point of view.

This is not what music should be about.

I think many of these pop stars are legitimately talented people, but true talent lies beneath the show. True talent is found in the stripped down performance, in artists’ ability to grab the instruments they are skilled at, be it guitar, piano, or their voice, gather a group of people around them, and share their personal experiences with the listeners — no manufacturing required.

I honestly find it hard to name modern bands who fit into the aforementioned category — artists like the National, Beck, and Arcade Fire are a few. But when I think of artists like Bob Dylan, a folk singer and member of the protest music genre, I see and hear a man who believed the words he sang, and played his guitar and harmonica with passion. His music came from a yearning desire within to evoke change in the world. He sang words that his feet had walked through, his melodies were a cry from his soul, and sometimes the notes were barely sung because the emotion was so strong.

Social media trends are self-indulgent ways to keep the immature spirit of high school dares alive ASHLEY MUSSBACHER

THE CASCADE

I recently took part in a social media trend that’s sweeping through Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat right now called the nomake up selfie challenge.

Originally, the challenge was meant to raise money for cancer research, but I recently read a statement by Kim Stephens, a cancer survivor and Brisbane Times reporter, that the trend is simply insulting.

“I fear this destructive campaign is only serving to deliver a giant slap in the (make-up free) face to every woman undergoing lifesaving chemotherapy right now,” Stephens wrote.

While I would usually agree that social media trends often undermine a larger societal problem, the “giant slap in the face” selfies have actually succeeded in raising $13 million in just six days, according to Philly.com.

But Stephans raises an interesting point about social media trends when she calls the no-makeup selfie “self-indulgent crap.”

Take the recent drinking challenge Neknominate for instance.

The news covered it extensively, and it even has its own Wikipedia page.

And yet there was no reason or good intention behind Neknominate. It’s a glorified drinking game where someone is challenged to down a pint of alcohol in one gulp, often in the most ridiculous way possible. The experience must be filmed and uploaded to the internet where the player must then challenge someone else.

That, in my opinion, is “self-indulgent crap.”

Another example of a social media challenge that started several years ago is the Cinnamon Challenge. Everyone’s heard of this one, due to the amount of players who ended up dead as a result. It seems general common sense goes out the window when it comes to online dares. What happens when extremely fine powder gets into your lungs? They collapse. That shouldn’t be a surprise.

Yet, even after multiple victim coverage and health warnings, people are still accepting the challenge to swallow a spoonful of ground cinnamon.

I suppose everyone has a reputation they want to uphold, and on

Image: Volusiapeds.com

People are succumbing to peer pressure through social media trends, but why? social media that reputation is constantly changing and at risk. But for some odd reason, reputation is presented to outweigh personal safety.

Those who recognize the dangers and the stupidity of social media challenges like Neknominate and the Cinnamon Challenge are the ones who have to contend with ugly comments. They are sudden-

ly labelled cowards, lame-asses, and pussies. The peer pressure is what kills them, not the alcohol or the cinnamon.

Medical advisor Sarah Jarvis is quoted by CNN saying, “If the thrill wasn’t there, your mates weren’t seeing you, I expect [the trend] would very rapidly fizzle out.”

The intention matters most in

social media trends. The no-makeup selfie is not dangerous to its challengers, nor is it meant to offend or degrade the cause it was created to support. But hopefully more people think before jumping on every social media bandwagon. Weigh the repercussions before taking the risk, and decide for yourself if the cause is worthy or simply self-glorifying.

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OPINION

OPINION

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

What are your procrastination techniques?

Feel like sharing your short-andsweet opinion? Keep an eye out for our whiteboard-toting pollsters roaming the halls.

9

CULTURE

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

Lemony parmesan salad

Below the Belt

That’s something you’ll never see in movies

TAYLOR BRECKLES THE CASCADE

LILY LEBAMM Sexpert

Sexual relations are never this pretty or clean. eryone’s game, so playing rough has got to be something both parties agree on before someone digs their nails in too deep. It can totally ruin the moment if your partner isn’t expecting it.

Talking about ruining climaxes, that perfectly timed duo come-session in movie sex scenes typically feels like winning the lottery, because that’s how often it happens. Usually the guy has to hold back his orgasm, if he’s got that kind of magical ability, and wait for the woman to follow her thread of pleasure. If the guy can’t hold back, we all know what happens here; the women has to wait until the next sexual encounter, finish off on her own, or rock back and forth on a quickly softening joystick. And nobody likes to be rushed. It’s a whole different game if you’re rolling in hay with someone of the same sex.

Just pray she knows what she’s doing with her fingers, or things

Image: Image: Romeo + Juliet (1996)

can get awkward pretty fast.

Once both partners come down from their climaxes, or at least one of them, there’s a moment when the question to separate hangs in awkward silence.

When the guy pulls out, there is no graceful collapse into satin sheets. Instead, there’s a lot of grunting, or complaining; her legs were spread too wide and her thighs hurt, or his knees are locking up. The sorriest sight is when they both rush to the bathroom. The woman tries to keep from dripping semen everywhere and has to wipe it from her inner thighs, and the man takes his turn to clean his shaft — that’s something we don’t get to see in movies.

And when everyone is cleaned off and has settled back into bed, the last thing they want to do is hold each other close, because that means someone’s going to have to lie in the wet spot.

Personally, I am not much of a salad person, as I find that they can be a bit monotonous.

However, with the hint of lemon and cheese, this one really does the trick! As a bonus, it’s really easy to make and has very little prep work involved. If you’re having a lazy cooking day, this is a quick and easy addition to any meal. I like to accompany this salad with steak or pasta, mainly because it makes me feel healthier when I’m stuffing my face with carbs. For lunch, it would be a nice addition to a buttered baguette or even more pasta. It’s perfect for summer because of its zest and lightness, yet I eat it in winter too because it can bring back the memories of sun and warmth. This salad is what I would call happy food because it really perks you up! If you want to thaw a frozen stomach, and have a tasty treat, try adding this to dinner or lunch.

Directions: Combine lemon zest, lemon juice, mayo, and black pepper in a bowl. Whisk the ingredients and add the olive oil as you whisk. Once that’s done, you can switch to a spoon or spatula to stir in the cheese and salt. Break the lettuce up (either before or after you make the dressing) and combine with the mixture. That’s all!

Image: pennyjp/Flickr

Nothing like a nice, light salad to brighten up a dreary day.

42%

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MC118577

Sex is not romantic.

Everyone knows how sex scenes in movies go: there’s some slow music in the background with heavy bass, there might be a bit of scratching, biting, or hair-pulling, and when both man and woman climax they do so at the same time, perfectly. After their sexy love encounter they fall apart gracefully between clean satin sheets and hold each other — and we’re not even going to touch pillow talk.

Sex in real life doesn’t work like that — sorry to burst your happy, virginal bubble. I once dated a guy who liked to play music to get into the “rhythm” of things. He turned his iPod onto some slow love song, which was nice to set the mood, but made me think, “Dude, you’re trying way too hard.”

Just as things were starting to heat up, the song ended and Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” started. Suffice to say I couldn’t help but laugh, and the whole sexy atmosphere he was going for was destroyed with a single chorus. So, if you’re going to have sex to music at least put in the effort to make an airtight playlist first.

Rough sex is fun. Admit it, in the heat of the moment, especially when your partner hits the perfect spot, sometimes you need to run your nails down their back, pull their hair, or nibble on their ear. Some people go for blood, but that’s not ev-

Ingredients: Grated zest and juice of one lemon 3 heaping tbsp mayonnaise 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper 3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil ½ cup grated Parmesan cheese A pinch of salt 2 hearts of romaine lettuce

1.866.949.6736 | truopen.ca

10

FEATURE CULTURE

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

“Imperialism: old wine, new bottl

Investigative journalist David Barsamian thinks the America

D

BY CHRISTOPHER DEMARCUS avid Barsamian met me for an interview in one of UFV’s board rooms. The walls were lined with pictures of past UFV presidents and administrative officials, almost all

white men. “That’s a group of really diverse people you got there.” His joke cracked with sarcasm, cutting through the air before I could ask a question.

Barsamian’s current speaking tour has him travelling from coast to coast, stopping to lecture at UFV at the request of English professor Prabhjot Parmar. Like all revolutionaries, he is tireless. A master of the interview, he has written books with Noam Chomsky, Howard Zinn, Edward Said, and many, many, others. His radio show, Alternative Radio, has featured countless public intellectuals: Cornel West, Chris Hedges, Angela Davis, Benjamin Barber, and Christopher Hitchens — just to name a few.

David Barsamian is a walking TED conference of information and media connections. But unlike a TED video, we get to ask him questions.

You’re from Colorado. With the legalization of marijuana there, do you think corporate interests will dominate the marijuana market and force out independent growers and distributors?

Capitalism doesn’t have any morality. It’s only loyalty is to capital. If they can make money off it, they will. Since the US political system is awash in corporate money, it’s very likely that they will be able to exercise influence on our so-called representatives to wedge themselves into this new burgeoning economy.

The US economy, by the way, is still in recession. Even though Obama announced in 2009 that recovery is on the way. Millions of people are still out of work. Millions more are stuck in deadend jobs at very poor wages with little opportunity for advancement. Every day we see a great many homeless people in the richest country on Earth.

Do you think Harper is following a US political and economic model?

He’s out-doing the US. Canada is number one in the world when it comes to predatory environmental practices.

The Canadian mining industry is in a class by itself in terms of environmental destruction. Do you want to be proud of that, or not?

It’s a problem for us because our national identity is based on being ecologically responsible.

What a joke that is.

Yeah, it’s embarrassing.

We get jerked around in the US, too.

Jive on PBS and NPR. Very sophisticated ads about how much corporations — particularly the most destructive ones — love the environment.

Exxon Mobile, Chevron, BP, Shell — they love to reach the public radio and TV audience because that audience is very class-oriented. They tend to be übereducated. And they’re decision makers. The corporations put their money into public broadcasting because they want to have influence over this particular class.

Do you think the CBC is going down the same path?

Harper wants to starve the CBC and drive them into the US model.

NPR and PBS used to get quite a big chunk of their budget from federal funds. It gave them a relative degree of autonomy. But those funds have come under attack. They’ve shrunk to almost nothing. Now public radio and TV networks are dependent on corporations to give them, essentially, advertising money.

It’s supposed to be non-commercial.

In fact, the public broadcasting act of 1967, which set up NPR and PBS, specifically used the term “non-commercial.” The word is used at least 20 times in the language of that law.

Community radio is the good thing amid all the flotsam and jetsam — the toxicity — that corporate media produces.

You’ve compared American empire and imperialism to the history of Rome. Do you see the collapse of American empire coming anytime soon?

No doubt about it. All things come to an end. The US is on a slippery slope of decline. We see that economically the US peaked around 1970. Since then, wages have gone flat, in many instances they’re going down. The working

“Since Canada is a country based on land grabs, and the US is the same, maybe they feel an affinity with Israel.”

class has been smashed. That’s been accomplished by an enormous corporate lead attack on unions, which have been historically — in Canada, England, and other industrialized societies — the bull of the working class. So even if

you weren’t a member of a union, you would benefit from the unions pushing the envelope: asking for sick leave, asking for paid vacations, demanding pensions.

We all do better when we have unions. The US decline is shocking. At one point, 35 per cent of the working class was unionized. Now it’s in the single digits and falling. It’s a race to the bottom.

If we live in a capitalistic system that is immoral and always snared in economic crisis, how do we work towards a big fix; should we try to bend the system into a new form, or take over institutions and revolutionize them?

It’s an interesting philosophical question. In the US, the ground work has not been laid for a popular revolt to replace the capitalist economic system.

That’s going to take work and time.

But there are many openings. Gramsci talked about spaces that exist within the monolith. You look at this wall and think that there are no openings, but if you look closely, there are cracks. It’s our jobs as activists, radicals, progressives — whatever you want to call us — to pour energy into the cracks and make them wider. By the end there is no wall, only openings.

But it takes time to develop that type of understanding.

People are getting ripped off. There is so much poverty and destitution.

And there is poverty of the mind, not just poverty of the pocket. There is a lack of creativity, a lack of revolutionary understanding: how culture can be used as a tool to effect social change.

Historically, that’s music, theatre, and poetry. Like Shelley’s line, “Ye are many, they are few” from The Masque of Anarchy. Howard Zinn quotes it at the end of his book A People’s History of the United States.

“Community radio is the good thing amid all the flotsam and jetsam — the toxicity — that corporate media produces.” handed journalism. What did you think of it?

Even-handed [objective] journalism is a shortcut to selling out. You cannot be even-handed when it comes to the war on nature. Either you defend the environment, or you don’t.

It’s happening in the real capital of Canada: Calgary. You just have to spend some time there to get a sense of what’s going on. It’s l i k e Texas on

Journalist Chris Hedges often quotes Shelley in his work, too.

Yes, I greatly admire Hedges. He’s been on my show many times as a featured speaker.

Are there any journalists from national papers we should be reading?

No, not from the papers. US papers are done. They don’t produce journalism. They’re just a con-duit for propaganda and state-sanctioned opinion.

Occasionally, if you look between the lines, you can get good information from The New York Times.

[Journalism] is in community radio, independent organizations, and internet sites like Truth Dig, Common Dreams, Counter Spin, and Counter Punch.

The founder of Ebay, Pierre Omidyar, has funded a new online venture, The Intercept. He’s already got four of the best journalists: Matt Taibbi from Rolling Stone, Glenn Greenwald from The Guardian, Jeremy Scahill (nominated for an Oscar for his best-selling book turned documentary film Dirty Wars), and independent film maker Laura Poitras. That’s a very positive development in media.

Another good employer for journalists is Al Jazeera. They do things that could never be done on PBS, or any of the corporate networks.

Hedges went independent, no longer working for the New York Times.

He wrote a great ar-ticle for TruthDig, “The Creed of Objectivity Killed the News,” about the pitfalls of even-

steroids. The environmental destruction that is coming out of the province is having global repercussions.

But what are we doing? We’re moving deck chairs on the Titanic.

Let’s drive a Prius. Let’s recycle. Let’s drink from non-styrofoam cups.

These ideas are all cosmetic. They are provided by the corporations to give you the illusion that they care about the environment. And to give the illusion that you’re not contributing to the war on nature.

This isn’t the kind of economics that are taught at UFV or UBC — sure

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FEATURE CULTURE

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les”

an empire is coming to an end. Is Canada doomed to follow?

Image: Doug Grinbergs/Flickr

It was standing room only at Barsamian’s talk on March 27 with students and faculty eager to hear him speak on new imperialism. there are a couple of radical profs, but they’re not at a critical level.

British Columbia isn’t known for being too critical when it comes to political economy, but we’re smug when we compare ourselves to US policy.

In most US universities, they’re all about the invisible hand and markets regulating themselves. The main belief is competition. What a joke! They don’t really want competition. They want a monopoly of control.

There is so much bullshit around capitalism, you need to be on a 24/7 watch to sift the bull from the shit.

Does the university play a similar role as media in promoting capitalism?

It’s an established institution like the media. They’re not going to promote revolution. There may be one Marxist professor who teaches about Lenin, Engles, and Bakunin. But they’re not there to change the existing system.

In fact, the few radical professors serve as a propaganda purpose. Look!

There is Noam Chomsky at MIT and Naomi Klein at UBC. We’re so liberal! We’re so open!

The last time you went to India to do interviews, you were banned from entering the country and deported. Why? I was going to follow up on story I have been pursuing for Image: Nemo/Pixabay

years: the ongoing Indian occupation of Kashmir. It is a huge human rights debacle that is barely known in the West. Tends of thousands of Kashmiri have been killed and hundreds of thousands put in prison — thousands have just disappeared.

In India, Kashmir occupies the same space in the public imagination that Israel occupies in the North American Zionist imagination. To talk critically about Kashmir in India is to take a great risk because Hindu nationalists go berserk. They’re not interested in evidence, it’s all about visceral reaction.

“To talk critically about Kashmir in India is to take a great risk because Hindu nationalists go berserk.”

So, even though I had a valid visa — I’d been going to to India since 1966 — I wasn’t let in.

Our current government is very close with Israel.

If Harper were to become any more pro-Israel he would be Israeli. He’s more Israeli than Israelis! People are in awe that he can show up and mouth platitudes and clichés about Israel with a total unawareness of the internal politics of that country and the land grabs that are going on.

But since Canada is a country based on land grabs, and the US is the same, maybe they feel an affinity with Israel.

Journalists want to be good reporters, but we also want to be able to pay the rent. How do you fund your work as an independent reporter?

Alternative Radio is syndicated on over 200 radio stations around the

“The internet has induced a certain kind of intellectual indolence.” world. It has a interesting funding model. I give the program away to stations for free. I’m depending on people to tune in and hear a speech by Naomi Klein, David Suzuki, or Noam Chomsky. If you want an mp3, a transcript, a CD, then you can buy it.

Alternative Radio is a huge network, but it’s only run by me and two other people. And it exists in a tiny office space in Boulder, Colorado.

And I do articles: The Progressive, The Sun, The Nation, and other magazines. I juggle a lot of things.

Do you think there is a decline in literacy, not just written media, but in the deep understanding of visual media?

That problem comes from a failure in the education system, which is not teaching critical thinking. Students can’t break down arguments. And the internet has induced a certain kind of intellectual indolence.

Do you think Marxism will remain a dirty word in North American discourse?

It’s been freighted with a lot of historical baggage. Propaganda from capitalist institutions want to discredit the one sophisticated counter-balance to its hegemony.

But let’s call it something else. Let’s call it collectivism. Let’s call it socialism. Let’s invent a new word! Let’s call it Harperism [laughs], Groucho Harperism, or Groucho Marxism — the real Marx!

One of the great tragedies of the 20th century, according to Howard Zinn, was when the Soviet Union appropriated “socialist” into its name: the Union of Soviet Social Republics. The Soviet

Union has nothing to do with socialism.

The aberration that was created in the Soviet Union was top-down, hierarchical, and elite-driven. It had nothing to do with democracy. If socialism means anything, it means democratic outcomes and participation: a voice for people, not for a handful of elites.

Your latest book with Chomsky, Power Systems, is loaded with content. Are people still buying books? Is that another form of income for journalists?

Yeah, it is. Power Systems came out less than a year ago. It’s sold 18,000 copies in the US — that’s pretty respectable for a radical book. It’s been published all over the world in translations: Korean, Serbian, German, French, Portuguese. It seems like every three weeks my publisher sends me a new edition of a book in a language I usually can’t read.

Chomsky is the one intellectual that everyone knows.

There is a curious thing. In the New York Times crossword puzzle — which I do — you know what the clue is? Linguist Chomsky. They would never put radical dissident Chomsky, or social critic Chomsky.

How can the average person better understand political issues?

Do you know what the best single work on imperialism is? It’s not Lenin.

It’s Joseph Conrad. Heart of Darkness.

That’s what you need to read.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

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CULTURE

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A taste of Abbotsford: farmers’ market reopens for the summer VALERIE FRANKLIN THE CASCADE

Grab your eco-friendly shopping bags — the Abbotsford Farm and Country Market has opened up once more for the warm months. For the first few weeks of spring the farmers’ market only runs once every two weeks, but as of April 19 it’ll be back to its usual schedule of 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. every Saturday.

When I heard the farmers’ market had reopened for the spring, I went down in early March to check it out. It was still bitingly cold, and a heavy rain was melting the piles of slush that still lined the sidewalks. I was concerned to see only half a dozen stalls open, but the vendors were cheerful as they sipped tea from thermoses and rubbed their gloved hands together.

“Come back in a month,” one of them told me, “and this place will be booming again.”

Now it’s a month later — and I think I have some shopping to do.

I’ve been a fan of the Abbotsford Farm and Country Market for a few years, but the first time I stumbled across it, I didn’t even know it existed. I just happened to be downtown one summer morning in the right place at the right time. The crowd milling around in the lane beside Ann Marie’s Café caught my eye, and I decided to see what was going on.

The little side street was lined with tents and vans, live musicians, tables of handmade crafts

Skip the pale tomatoes trucked up from California and the tasteless strawberries flown in from Mexico — the best stuff comes from our own city. and baubles, candles and soaps — and, of course, food. Armfuls of leafy greens and bright orange carrots still caked with earth were being unloaded from a truck, fresh from the Sumas flats. A local apiarist sold jars of amber honey and handmade beeswax candles from their family’s beehive. The bakeries alone were worth the trip: round loaves of bread studded with roasted garlic, elaborately folded pastries, rustic galettes filled with local raspberries…

But it wasn’t just the merchandise that impressed me.

There was something special about the way that the people behind the counters met my eye and introduced themselves to me. They told me with pride about the history of their farm or dairy or business, or offered unsolicited but enthusiastic advice about what kind of sauce or wine would go best with what they were selling.

They cared.

In the age of the supermarket, it’s a rare privilege to connect with the people who actually grow, bake, and prepare your food. Even if that doesn’t matter to you, consider the other benefits: spending your money at a

THE CASCADE

“Being an editor of an anthology is a lose-lose situation,” Daniela Elza said to open the Louden Singletree’s 6th issue launch party.

The Louden’s editorial board worked long and hard in selecting the pieces for this journal, and Elza let us know that writing the rejection letters was probably the hardest part of the process.

“Don’t take rejection personally,” she told the crowd. Elza pointed out that there are a plethora of factors behind rejection and only one is personal taste. Don’t let rejection hinder you from submitting your art from critique — and remember, the more you submit, the smaller the percentage of rejection becomes, and the easier it is to handle.

These words were an encouragement to all the aspiring writers and visual artists in the room. AfterMath was packed with students and faculty who listened as each piece in the journal came alive with the voices of

their original creators behind them. Poems were shared, visual art pieces were explained, and short anecdotes were read.

People laughed, no one cried, and many ate and were merry!

Along with such talent, the evening was filled with nuggets of wisdom from many of the artists.

A painting of a voluptuous nude woman in blue acrylic on canvas was displayed. Radiance Dream, the artist of the piece, said she was inspired to paint the common curvaceous form of a woman because this body type is not often desired by the media, and yet it is beautiful.

Another student, Sandra Moulton, who is graduating from the graphic and digital design program, explained where her work comes from.

“Struggle — it’s a journey and it is not ending,” she said, as the feet in her painting took one step over the barren rocks that stretched out into a vast unknown abyss.

Julia Dovey split our sides with her witty play enacted in the spontaneity of the mo-

Events April 3

UFV Drag Show & Competition

Image: Natalie Maynor

Farmers’ markets are the best places to pick up local goodies — if you can afford the price. farmers’ market supports local businesses, and it’s much more environmentally friendly than buying food that’s been shipped across the country, not to mention healthier, fresher, and tastier. If you’re a locavore, a city like Abbotsford is the right place to be. We’re blessed with some of the most fertile growing land in the world. Skip the pale tomatoes trucked up from California and the tasteless strawberries flown in from Mexico — the best stuff comes from our own city.

The downside of shopping at farmers’ markets, of course, is the price, especially for university students. When you’re struggling to find two bucks to put in the laundry machine, buying a $7 loaf of specialty organic bread is out of the ques-

tion.

But if you’re throwing an end-of-semester dinner party and want to splurge, or if your girlfriend’s mother is coming to visit and you need to look like you know how to put a sophisticated meal together, the farmers’ market is the place to go. Grab a loaf of fresh artisan bread, some locally-grown kohlrabi or butter lettuce for a salad, a wedge of organic goat cheese, some free-range chicken, and pick up a bottle of Langley wine on the way home and relax. Half the work of making dinner is done, and nothing on your table will have come from more than a few miles away.

Inspiration for aspiring artists at the Louden Singletree launch BRITTNEY HENSMAN

Upcoming

Image: : Brittney Hensman

ment by Elza and Rajnish Dhawan. The skit was inspired when Dovey, at a loss for what to write, recalled the words of a former professor who said, “write what you know.”

When art can bring people together with reality, beauty is achieved. Life is hard and full of myriad challenges, and people ultimately want to know that they can relate to other humans in their struggles.

Status updates and pictures on

Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter do a fabulous job at telling everyone how perfect your life is, but they fail to portray your bad hair day or the disheartening conversation you had with a loved one about something they challenged you on. No one’s life is or ever will be perfect, and Thursday evening proved just that — not in the sense that it was a night full of mediocre art, but because it was a night full of normal people who have spent a lot of time and hard work honing their skills and passions to share a beautiful message with humanity through their art.

Stories and art have a powerful way of making people feel normal, and each of the Louden Singletree’s contributors played their part in achieving that reality. Artists, never forget your purpose and your goal — don’t carry the attitude of an elitist in your work. Bring your art to the level of your audience, and help it speak if they cannot understand. That way they can share what you have to offer them to the fullest.

Grab a drink, sit back, and enjoy a fabulous genderbending fashion show presented by UFV Pride Network — men dressed as ladies, ladies dressed as men, and every variation you can think of! Event runs 7 to 10 p.m. at AfterMath. No cover charge.

Everyone is welcome to dress up and participate in this supportive and inclusive night of entertainment. To receive a registration form for the competition, email pride.coordinator@ufv.ca with “Drag Registration” in the subject line.

April 4

Vaisakhi Mela Drop by U-House and the Centre for Indo-Canadian Studies at 5 p.m. for a community celebration of Vaisakhi, the Indian harvest festival.

Events will include Giddha and Bhangra dancing, singing, group games, and kite-flying.

Celebrate the Indian harvest season, make friends with students from other cultures, and enjoy delicious free food!

April 5-12

Verses Festival of Words Presented by Vancouver Poetry House, this week-long festival features readings and classes with poets including Ivan Coyote, d’bi young, Zaccheus Jackson, and Evelyn Lau, Vancouver’s Poet Laureate. The festival’s readings and events take place at various venues throughout Vancouver. Full festival passes $60.

More information at versesfestival.ca.

April 12

Chilliwack Symphony: A Night of Mozart & Handel Want to impress someone special with an elegant night out? Pick up tickets for a onenight-only performance of Mozart and Handel presented by the Chilliwack Symphony Orchestra & Chorus. Tickets can be purchased at the Chilliwack Cultural Centre or online at chilliwackculturalcentre.ca.

General admission $25, students $15.

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CULTURE

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

SUDOKU PUZZLE

CROSSWORD Totally cellular

8 5

by KATIE STOBBART

7 9

4 6

3 4

8

1 5 8 3

4 6 2 5

8 7 7 3 6

9 8 2

1 7

5

ACROSS

Cell is the title of a horror novel by this famous author. (7, 4) An example of a prokaryote, and something you may want to avoid to stay in good health. (8) Here, a cell is situated where a row and column intersect. Think of a table, but laid out over a piece of paper. (11) Cell phones are all characterized by this feature. (8) A similarly named structure inside the nucleus of a cell, which makes ribo somes. (9) A little like a cell, but you keep canned peaches in it. (6)

ACROSS 1 HOUNDSTOOTH 4 PINSTRIPE 5 FLORAL 9 GINGHAM 10 PLAID 12 CHEVRON DOWN 2 HERRINGBONE 3 CALICO 6 ARGYLE 7 WINDOWPANE 8 PAISLEY 11 FRET

The Weekly Horoscope Aquarius: Jan 20 - Feb 18: Your ego will get so large this week that it will surround your head like a cloud, creating a circumference that friends, family, and coworkers will be unable to penetrate.

Sudoku solution

3 4 6 9 1 8 5 2 7 7 1 2 4 6 5 9 3 8 9 5 8 2 3 7 1 4 6

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

8.

Last week’s crossword

1 9 5 8 4 2 6 7 3 8 3 4 1 7 6 2 5 9 2 6 7 3 5 9 4 8 1

DOWN

Answer keys

5 8 1 7 9 4 3 6 2 6 7 3 5 2 1 8 9 4 4 2 9 6 8 3 7 1 5

1.

The process a cell undergoes to duplicate into two identical cells. (7) 7.

A cell which contains a nucleus, much larger than your average prokaryote.

(9) 9.

This institution contains barred cells. (6) 10.

This complex carb gives plants their shape and is also used to make rayon

and cellophane. (9) 11.

A solitary card game. (8)

Star Signs from January Jones*

*No, not that January Jones

Gemini: May 21 - June 21: You smell like mushrooms and no one wants to tell you.

You’re welcome.

Libra: Sept 23 - Oct 22: Ponchos are in. Don’t listen to your mom.

Pisces: Feb 19 - March 20: Your destiny lies in professional wrestling.

Cancer: June 22 - July 22: Your spirit animal is a set of parentheses.

Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21: You have been cursed by your disgruntled lab partner. You will be unable to find a coffee grinder ever again — a subtle but effective punishment.

Aries: March 21 - April 19: This summer will hold an ill-advised tattoo, tinnitis, and copious amounts of slang. #YOLO

Leo: July 23 - Aug 22: Public service announcement: the latest season of Game of Thrones starts next week.

Studying is going to have to wait — I mean, what are you going to remember a year from now? Studying, or Jon Snow being a total badass?

Taurus: April 20 - May 20: Be advised that your clock is two-and-a-half minutes fast.

Virgo: Aug 23 -Sept22: Your destiny involves growing a beard and moving to Alaska, where you will befriend a bear and cut bacon with a hatchet.

Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21: Travel to the hipster mecca.

Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19: You really should have applied to graduate before the deadline of March 31.

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ARTS

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

Album Review

Foster the People — Supermodel THOMAS NYTE CONTRIBUTOR

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d have an opportunity to listen to a song called “Goats in Trees.”

Honestly, I didn’t see it coming.

Following the meteoric commercial success of their 2011 release Torches (propelled into the realms of indie-pop superstardom almost entirely by single “Pumped Up Kicks”), California-based band Foster the People have released their sophomore album Supermodel. Because Torches was something of a rarity (it conceived a box, then thought outside it), Foster the People set the bar high for this release.

Supermodel doesn’t meet the bar. Nor does it miss it. Or overshoot it. Supermodel kind of creates its own bar, because it has the cojones to change the formula. In that way, it’s memorable.

It’s also remarkable, but for an unusual (and rare) reason. Not for musical proficiency, although there’s certainly something to be said for Supermodel’s glamrock infusions, its psychedelicates, and its gloomed-up lyrics (and are those flamenco influences I’m hearing?).

Not for its fantastic album artwork, which looks like something Maurice Sendak might’ve drawn if he was tripping on acid in a roller rink.

Not even for its self-contained multi-

plicity, which is apparent within the first few songs. Say what you will about Torches; groovy and entertaining though it was, its overall dynamics were pretty stagnant.

What makes Supermodel remarkable is that it shows song-writer/lead singer Mark Foster doing something that virtually no musicians nowadays are doing: using fewer synthesizers.

Before the postmodernists lynch me or the hipsters make me their god, let me explain why that’s remarkable. The use of synthesizers and computer-generated sounds was a staple of Torches, and effects took the instrumental lead in almost every song. Supermodel, though, orchestrates an uprising of digital pads as texture as opposed to digital leads. And although FtP hasn’t eschewed electronic sound entirely,

they’ve managed to drag it into the backseat of their shiny new vehicle in order to bring vocals and prototypical rock-band instruments to the forefront.

For the most part, it totally works.

Standout tracks “Are You What You Want to Be?” and “Nevermind” are opulent arrangements that show a big step in the right direction. The former is outrageously energetic, boasting a weirdly functional West African-style shuffle to transition between thudding refrains.

The latter unspools in throbbing undercurrents that build into a towering crescendo, featuring guitars that quietly sing flamenco while the accompanying drums scream OK Computer-era Radiohead. Also indicative of FtP’s newfound musical fruition is the aforementioned “Goats in Trees,” a surprisingly spooky dirge, soaked in halftone darkness and more lyrical poignancy than I would’ve thought the brand was capable of (“But no one can tell me they’re not afraid / of the freedom of deliverance… / I buried all the guilt here with my youth”).

None of this is to say that FtP has let go of their old, drum-crushing sound. “Coming of Age” and “Best Friend” reflect all that was good about Torches without succumbing to self-plagiarism. Both songs dabble in glam guitar hooks (like something you might hear in a song by The 1975), but the more reverberant “Coming of Age” has a chord progression that lends itself to feelings of visceral nostal-

gia, whereas “Best Friend” dips irreverently into the world of Jamiroquai-esque funk, complete with smooth bass grooves and a trumpet section.

Next to all this good stuff, though, the lousy stuff tends to stand out, and unfortunately, a few tracks are tonally (if not musically) uncertain. “Ask Yourself” deserves at least a modicum of recognition for dragging the band into the waters of rhythmic complexity and modern ambience, but in this particular case they’re waters best left unexplored. The end result is under-amalgamated and lacks cohesion. “A Beginner ’s Guide to Destroying the Moon” experiments too brashly with the raunchy metal-core sounds of bands like Project 86 and is ultimately unsuitable for Foster ’s upper-register vocal style. And “The Truth,” though it showcases some strong vocal and rhythm work, is borne along by an overly fastpaced, Hoobastank vibe that makes it altogether too easy to skip.

Supermodel sees Foster the People change their formula without drastically altering the final product. Though this new box is not quite as fun as the one they made for Torches, it shows evidence of curiosity, moodiness, and diverging musical approaches. It has my semi-enthusiastic approval, but if you’re a die-hard fan of Torches, Supermodel might not have much to offer you.

NOW HIRING

Mini Album Reviews

SoundBites

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Karmin Pulses

The Hold Steady Teeth Dreams

The first opening line — “Get on with the dum-dum ditty!” — from Pulses immediately tells you the direction Karmin is going. “Geronimo” is a 30-second intro, perhaps a call to the muse of the pop beats, but the lyrics make you feel isolated from any meaning. That feeling remains through all 42 minutes of Pulses. Though the vocals are Glee-worthy (in that there is some talent, best seen in the track “Acapello”), the lyrics are superficial: “I wanna make your heart beat / I love it when it beats for me,” “All I need is one more night with you,” and “sometimes I just hate to love you.” Lead singer Amy Heidemann captures too perfectly the cringe-worthy sounds of trying-too-hard-to-be-sassy that Nicki Minaj relies on. In fact, every song has something that’s been beaten to death in the pop world. There’s nothing new here people, keep moving along. All Pulses is ever going to be is a filler remix at a club, and perhaps a few plays on pop radio station. Good riddance.

Eight years ago, Craig Finn sang about boys and girls in America having a sad time together. The first few lines of “Stuck Between Stations” were an adaption of a soliloquy from Jack Kerouac’s seminal On The Road. But boys and girls in America eventually grow up and even the “Cityscape Twins” eventually — “wake up with that American sadness.” Teeth Dreams, the band’s first record since 2010, is a comeback of sorts, after the transitional shrug of a record that was Heaven is Whenever. The band has toned down the vivid character studies of Charlemagne, Gideon, and Hallelujah, and instead focuses on demons of past lives swirling around these character’s heads. “I’m pretty sure you recognize these guys,” Finn shares on “The Ambassadors.” Halfway through the dream-like, nine-minute closing track “Oaks,” the band cuts out and Finn actually begins to carry the melody, singing about how “we dream of the views from the boats / of mountains all covered in oaks.” While Teeth Dreams never reaches the emotional heights of Boys and Girls in America, it covers all its bases and then some, exploring regret and second chances for some of The Hold Steady’s most beloved characters.

sASHA MOEDT

The Editor-in-Chief directs editorial and production staff through all stages of publishing the paper each week.

The position requires a minimum of 16 office hours a week, and is not recommended for full-time students.

If you want to gain valuable writing experience and think you can handle staying on campus for nearly 24 hours a day, this might be the job for you!

For a full job description, check out the employment page on ufvcascade.ca, or email michael@ufvcascade.ca Pay per issue: $300

Tim Ubels

Put on your headphones; we want your thoughts on new music.

Pop into the Cascade offices in C1027 for a free album to review, or email arts@ufvcascade.ca for more information!

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ARTS

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

Film Review

Noah 1 2

CHARTS

Shonen Knife Overdrive

AARON LEVY

CIVL STATION MANAGER

Role Mach Travels In The Interior Districts

3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Zebra Pulse Live On Big A, Little a Mac DeMarco Salad Days

Car 87 Live at IRS

Cloud Nothings Here And Nowhere Else Destroyer Five Spanish Songs St. Vincent St. Vincent Tokyo Police Club Forcefield

Bishops Green Pressure Duns Broccoli Still The Champ All Out Panic Panic Attack Endless Chaos Rejected Atrocity

Johnny Cash Out Among The Stars Sun Kil Moon Benji Various PIXXX4

Tough Age Tough Age Varsity Girls Darnit Fountain Fountain

CIVL Station Manager Aaron Levy was pleased to see the great response UFV showed when Bif Naked visited our campuses last week courtesy of MarCom and the President’s Leadership Lecture Series. Here is a greatest hits package of Bif tracks.

“Moment of Weakness”

Future Islands Singles

16 17 18 19 20

Shuffle

Bif spoke live on CIVL Radio’s The Vinyl Spinner with the Infamous Johnny K and Will the Thrill about a minimum of four moments of weakness, not in the realm of love as this song intimates, but in vice with consumption. Sometimes, these moments lead to sober improvements in ourselves.

“Choatee” This song is about young love, and some of the bumps in the road that come with it. Moving on, making up, or not. It’s a reminder that proximity and familiarity often breed affection, as shown in Silence of the Lambs, and (entirely irrelevant to this context) Obsession.

Forgive me.

“Lucky Ones” As CanRock a power ballad as we’ve had since the days of Simple Plan, Matthew Good, Marianas Trench, and Hedley, this track is still a familiar standard for slow dances and brooding, emotional, personal moments. Maybe it’s not quite the ubiquitous banger of a love song as “Truly, Madly, Deeply?”

“I Love Myself Today” This song serves as an explanation of Bif’s career arc to date. She has overcome, she has risen to occasions, and she has persevered in order to set an example for not only those of us she comes to address at her lecture and in her music, but in her own life, too.

“Spaceman” I don’t think this song is actually about a man from or in space. I’m fairly certain it’s about philandering hot-stuffs who need to take a chill pill from checking out the ethereal bodies of the ladies on the land. Remixed, replayed, and revived year after year. Rescue me!

MICHAEL SCOULAR THE CASCADE

Thirty seconds in, Darren Aronofsky’s Noah announces that, unlike the near-religious exacting preservation given to young adult novels-turnedmovies, this is not about to be accepted as canonical devotional material. For this, the movie has become a target for a lot of talk about what it gets “wrong.”

But considering the fires of controversy had little interest in the Coen brothers’ creative license with the story of Job (A Serious Man), or Terrence Malick’s using the Song of Songs as inspiration (To the Wonder), it might be more accurate to say the problem with Aronofsky’s movie isn’t its fidelity to the Old Testament story (which shows up in some unexpected ways), but that it yells and thuds with its own heavy literalness. It insists on its importance, from the opening chorus stabs of Clint Mansell’s bombastic (but mostly bad, temp-track-sounding) score that kicks off a Sunday school flipbook recapping the fall, to the apocryphal Watchers that explain a somewhat sped-up industrial progression of history (but mostly resemble distant kin of Treebeard).

Like most of the story beats in Noah, there’s a Biblical reference to refer back to (brothers Cain and Seth diverged, with the former forming a city, the latter ’s line reaching down to Noah), but Aronofsky is only concerned with effects (the world ... split in two!), to the neglect of the life his philosophically-conflicted protagonist belabours needs some form of justice.

Aronofsky, whose previous works tried to achieve the shock of a horror movie with the pathos of religious belief, and whose thematic concerns dabbled in how an actor might

be transformed by a role (Black Swan) or a story might intertwine with life’s possible outcomes (The Fountain) shows a creative limitation in Noah. Without those movies’ frenetic subjectivity or amber-tinted awe, Aronofsky only has ideas. And he piles them on. Noah’s story is used both as a blatant parallel to today’s industrial use of the world and as a foil to the idea of human exceptionalism. Because this is an Aronofsky movie, divine hints only come in the form of dream scene fake-outs, so Russell Crowe’s Noah, already a humourless crusader for the environment, is alternately plagued with a brainwash-like determination and unresolvable doubt. Around this unmoveable character, Aronofsky also plants other dilemmas that carry the weight of other stories (Abraham’s test, Jesus’ garden trial), but mostly come across as nonsensical: humanity only destroys and deserves to be wiped off the face of the Earth, but family needs to be protected in the face of bloodthirsty raiders (?), and also if existence is going to be extended, it’ll be through a story redolent of late developments from ... The Twilight Saga.

While the ties to Christian and Jewish traditions are unavoidable, Noah’s purpose seems to lie elsewhere: as a work of fantasy, in the sense of using a step out of reality to comment on the present, but also in the sense where fantasy is the dominant mode of expression in popular American cinema, one that abandons actors for spectacle. Noah’s script (written by Aronofsky and Ari Handel) follows the over-familiar hero conflict pattern everybody knows, and repeats simplified dialogue built out of trailer catchphrases (“It begins,” “That! is justice!”) which the cast speaks with a slightly British accent to indicate there’s something to link

this to a grand tradition.

With all the room made for plot machinery and pointless action, there’s hardly any space for the cast (Crowe, Jennifer Connolly, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman) to do anything besides stare agape, cry on cue, and ask father Noah what to do.

A supposedly mature work, Noah is actually Aronofsky’s least distinctive. As with another recent “religious” tale (Life of Pi), amazement at computer effects is considered synonymous with proof of God. Faces framed by dreamy haircuts for the young, wizardly wisps for the old are slabbed with follow-thespeaker automation. The animals, you might think, provide some levity from the grays and browns of tar pitch woodwork and grimy war-mongering, but when they arrive, it is as a computer demo, obediently passing by. With all the effects and a similar message, Noah could pass, for those 10 minutes, as a lesser live-action Studio Ghibli effort, but before long it’s back to unanswering skies and indifferent medium shots, a far cry from the widescreen over-sincerity that characterized the ‘50s wave of American Christian-era epics.

Now, when Aronofsky holds a shot of silhouetted morning light, or rolls out a milenniacompressed time-lapse, it arrives with an even heavier hand, asking all of an audience’s care in interpretation while weakly repeating techniques he overplayed to death 10 years ago.

A creation sequence like Terrence Malick’s or a flood scene from Wes Anderson involve a thoughtful, roving soul and humour. Aronofsky, though, is a neither/nor filmmaker: neither someone whose sacred texts are worth studying, nor a genre artist whose messes are still interesting ones.

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ARTS

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

Cascade Arcade

Titanfall JEREMY HANNAFORD constributor

There are many multiplayeronly games on the market. One of the top contenders — with competition rewarding prizes exceeding $250,000 — is League of Legends. There are also first person shooters such as War Rock or Contagion. These games and many others, however, have always been PC-dominant.

There also have been some console-based games that have tried multiplayer-only in the past. A recent example would be Brink, developed by Splash Damage. But Brink was riddled with bugs and problems that damaged the huge hype it had built up. But when newcomer Respawn Entertainment released Titanfall, any ill talk of consoles was put to rest.

Titanfall is, in short, everything Brink tried to do — done right!

Both games incorporate storybased missions into the multiplayer atmosphere. Both have parkour elements that meld with map geometry. Titanfall, however, offers giant mechazoids

while Brink offered punkishlooking characters. Unlike Brink, the matches have a fluid framerate. Parkour animations are solid and don’t skip mid-way, ruining immersion. Titanfall is a much better game, both tech-wise and through natural gameplay.

Titanfall is a fantastic mix of single player aspects with multiplayer gameplay. The six vs. six matches become intense very quickly as players engage in high-octane combat both on foot and in Titans. But there are also NPCs fighting each other

during the battle. These bots engage with each other and opposing players, helping to mask the small number of actual players in the game. They come in droves and while they are quite simplistic with their attack functions, they possess great animations that mirror that of a human combatant.

Once again, unlike Brink, these bots do not hinder the game. After several playthroughs, they offer little threat, but they reward the player with kill points and a false sense of accomplish-

ment if you are getting creamed by human players.

Designed for all the Mech Warrior, Gundam, or Transformers fans out there, the Titans are loud and proud as they thunder across the battlefield, dealing death with both massive weapons and crushing fists. But as cool as the Titans are, the pilots are just as fun. And it’s not just because they have jet packs and can run along walls. It’s because they can be just as dangerous as the Titans when used correctly.

Titanfall’s balancing is some of the best I have seen in a long time when it comes to size difference. Like an engineer fighting a tank in Battlefield 3, a pilot possesses the weapons and skills to take down a Titan singlehanded.

But whereas the tank could simply escape an engineer in BF3 through means of speed, a pilot can keep up with a Titan. Using the layout of the level, a pilot can outmanoevre a Titan and leap onto its back. Taking out the core with several rounds destroys a Titan and rewards the player with a bundle of points. The Titan has defensive measures like

electric smoke to stop the pilot, but they can be easily cornered on the more urban-style maps. If I have any complaints with the game, it is that it has a very familiar Call of Duty pacing. The scale of the matches can change rapidly and often you will find yourself cursing each death and defeat.

The one thing that Titanfall and Brink do share in common is a story no one cares about. The downside of a multiplayer-only game is that the player ’s concentration is so heavily focused on the combat that the story dialogue and annotations are pointless. There are some cinematic moments that occur, but they come and go without real acknowledgement.

After the colossal technical mess that was and continues to be Battlefield 4, Titanfall is a reminder of what online multiplayer can be. There are still resolution issues to be fixed and there is the odd network issue.

Still, Titanfall is a great game — with fighting robots.

Book Review

Television Review

This Isn’t the Apocalypse We Hoped For by Al Rempel

Hilarious duo-based sitcom translates well from web series to half-hour show

KATIE STOBBART THE CASCADE

Three seagulls coast over a literal sea of garbage. Is that a child’s wagon receding with a wave? It drifts, upended, at the base of a trash-bag mountain. A ridge of foam away, what looks like a tiny red paper crane is only the ties of another plastic bag knotted together.

Welcome to Al Rempel’s newest book, This Isn’t the Apocalypse We Hoped For. Despite the sharp commentary of the image, the collection of poems doesn’t start with accidental plastic origami or even garbage. It begins innocuously with lunch, then moves on to bananas.

Yes — bananas, in all their glorious banality. “We Love Bananas” is the title of the poem. Their familiarity is comforting, yet after reminding us of Tarzan and still lifes and Curious George, Rempel gently points out what often happens to the things we love: “we forget to eat them and they go / soft. we put them on the top shelf in the freezer. / we throw them out when we can’t fit / the box of pizza in. we’ve already bought more.”

Poetry doesn’t get much more accessible than that, and this approach echoes throughout the collection. Rempel gives us the familiar and allows us to fill in the blanks.

For example, the first line in “Survival Kit” is “a plastic straw” because, the poem says, we “keep everything, or nearly, because you never know.” The narratives of everyday hoarding, “purses spilling out eyeliners, /

pocket squares of envelopes … desktops awash in icons” are laid out as potential necessities. We know we don’t really need these things, yet we keep making them, filling ourselves up with them. There is tension between the title and the list — what is missing?

“One of the threads running through this book is our consumption and the anxiety it produces,” Rempel said in an interview with Rob Taylor.

This feeling of anxiety is, in part, a result of the poems’ unwritten questions. Because of this, you might say the book seldom seems apocalyptic. Exactly.

Where we often use the word “apocalypse” to refer to the end of the world, that’s not necessarily so. “Apocalypse” is derived from a Greek word meaning “to uncover.” The apocalypse is a revelation.

“This” — the way we live and operate today, the image of the trash heap — is our necessary revelation. It isn’t, Rempel says

in the title, what we hoped for.

Unfortunately, our revelation does not exclude the biblical, end-of-the-world connotations of the word. The things to which we have attached ourselves are things we don’t need; the way we live is not sustainable.

“Who cares,” Rempel writes in “Half-past Christmas,” “when those every year mandarin oranges / arrive in daily shipments, when rows / and rows of frozen turkeys appear / their giblets and necks neatly tucked in?”

One of the strengths of this collection is its approachability. In easy-to-unpack language, Rempel negotiates both human and natural landscapes and their intersections.

In “Xylophobia,” he makes suggestions to reconcile an irrational fear of the forest. Air travel is best — there is a feeling of relief and control in that distance, and if you wake from a nightmare, “imagine the trees pressed square and clean / into a climate-controlled mall.” (Ah, that’s better.)

There are so many other gems in here, poems that deserve attention. “Urban Dreams,” “Have a Bath,” “Table Setting for Six,” and “On the Porch” were some of my other favourites. There’s local flavour here too (“Huntingdon Man”). Of interest, the editor of This Isn’t the Apocalypse We Hoped For is UFV’s former writer in residence, Elizabeth Bachinsky. If you enjoyed her Home of Sudden Service, Rempel’s collection would be another good addition to your bookshelf.

Broad City SASHA MOEDT THE CASCADE

Broad City began as a web series in 2009. The four or so minute clips of hilarity were almost more than I could take. Racy and openhearted, filled with sex, weed, and those awkward minutiae life is made of, the Broad City web series made me fall in love with the two leading ladies, Abbi (Jacobson) and Ilana (Glazer).

So when I heard that Broad City was transitioning to a show in a half hour slot on Comedy Central — backed up by none other than Amy Poehler as executive producer — I was thrilled.

Abbi and Ilana are two 20-somethings living in New York. Like so many comedies set in New York — Seinfeld, Girls, Louie, 30 Rock, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine to name a few — the city is an important character. Because so many other shows use the city, the typical sitcom events of NYC, such as grungy apartment hunting, cultural clashes, and muggings, are a bit tired.

Broad City takes NYC not at a completely new angle, but at least they stay away from familiar sitcom coffee shops and diners. Ilana and Abbi do street performances together, ride the subway, get harassed on the streets, and go to loud bars.

While Broad City doesn’t go as far in the opposite direction of cliché that I’d like, they do show the other sides of the city.

A show like Girls often says their characters are poor, but rarely show it. Broad City is guilty of the same crime, though not to

the same extent. Ilana works at a temp agency, and Abbi as a janitor at a classy gym, yet they each have decent apartments and fairly nice clothes. And on top of it all, they have money to drop on weed. However, they do resort to various moneymaking schemes and put up with unbearable roommates, so it’s almost believable.

The two leads have great chemistry, probably due to the fact that they are best friends on and off screen.

Ilana does things her way, with zero sense of shame. She’s like a very sexual, very joyful April from Parks and Rec. Abbi, on the other hand, brings in the awkward humour. Far more insecure than her partner-incrime, Abbi is literally the girl next door. (She has an undying secret love for her sexy neighbour).

Together they face the world, and the combination of the two is a lighthearted friendship that captures the essentials of what this generation deals with. Ilana and Abbi chat on Skype instead of the Friends-esque coffee shop. They hate their jobs, get locked out of their apartments, lose their phones, get way too high, and find condoms in the strangest places. And so it goes.

Broad City is like Louie crossed with Girls crossed with It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

With the first season (eight episodes) under the belt and high ratings, Broad City is a shoo-in for another season on Comedy Central, which I’m already dying for. It’s something new and fresh, and definitely lighthearted enough to be a perfect study break.

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SPORTS & HEALTH

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

Heat Report

Heat rout Comets to solidify playoff berth TIM UBELS

CONTRIBUTOR

The Abbotsford Heat wrapped up their 12-game season series against the Utica Comets with two wins in a weekend series that featured strong performances from both Ben Street and Joni Ortio. The Heat had struggled in previous matchups with the Vancouver Canucks’ affiliate, losing seven of their last eight games overall against the Comets.

Coming off a very physical afternoon loss to the Toronto Marlies last Sunday, the Heat travelled to New York and dealt a significant blow to the Comets’ playoff hopes, which were on life support to begin with. The Comets needed points to keep in the hunt, but without sniper Nicklas Jensen and steady defenseman Frankie Corrado, both of whom were on the Vancouver Canucks’ roster, as well as injuries to leading goal-scorer Benn Ferriero and team captain Colin Stuart, they were only able to pick up a single point.

Ortio, who earned the game’s first star, made 43 saves in the Heat’s 2-1 overtime win, going toe-to-toe with Comets’ netminder Joacim Eriksson all night. The game went back and forth, as both teams traded glorious chances in front of the sold-out crowd at the Utica

Image: Clint Trahan

Max Reinhart led the way for the Heat, posting 10 points in their season series against the Comets.

Memorial Auditorium. Comets forward Alex Friesen broke the deadlock at 8:14 of the first period with a shorthanded marker.

Friesen was the recipient of a sly give-and-go from Jeremy Welsh, making the pass through his skates to put the Comets up 1-0.

Sven Baertschi pulled the Heat even with only 0.3 seconds left in the second frame. With time ticking off the clock, Street threw the puck out from the corner, hitting Baertschi’s skate and deflecting into the net. After video review, the goal stood,

and the Heat and Comets went into the final frame all even.

After a scoreless third period, it was Street who provided the overtime goal for the Heat. The goal, Street’s 27th, came from a rebound off a Max Reinhart shot at 2:19 of the extra frame.

Allan McPherson, a forward who just signed a contract with the Heat this past week after finishing his season with the NCAA’s Clarkson Golden Knights, made his AHL debut in the victory.

While Friday night’s affair was a tight match where the next goal could be the game winner, Saturday’s game was a different story. The team netted five of their seven goals in the 7-2 beatdown in the second period, chasing Eriksson from the net midway through the game after five goals on 24 shots.

Street had a three-point night, picking up a goal and a couple helpers, while Ortio stopped 32 of 34 shots to earn the victory.

The game’s opening goal came from Jordan Kremyr, the first of his professional career. Reinhart finishes the season series with 10 points in 10 games against the Comets. Baertschi has also picked up ten points in his last nine games with the Heat.

The Heat finished with three wins and three losses on their six-game road trip, and return home April 4 for a pair of important matchups against the Rockford Icehogs.

What on Earth is oil pulling?

VIVIENNE BEARD CONTRIBUTOR

It’s 7 a.m. and you’ve managed to roll yourself out of the warm blankets of your bed. With messy hair and foggy eyes you make your way to the bathroom, splash your face with cold water, and let out a long and drowsy yawn. You reach for the jar of coconut oil on the counter, scoop out a generous tablespoon and into your mouth it goes for a good 10 minutes of swishing.

Sounds normal, right?

If you’re like I was, the idea of “oil pulling” seems nothing short of repulsive. The thought of swishing oil around my mouth for any amount of time caused my gag reflexes to kick in and my face crumple up into a disgusted cringe. While the blue bottle of Listerine in my bathroom is much more familiar to me, the practice of oil pulling has been used for centuries as a natural remedy for oral health.

Claimed benefits of the ancient treatment include the prevention of tooth decay and bad breath, general teeth cleaning, and even as an aid in overall health.

The process of oil pulling involves swishing around a tablespoon of oil in between and around teeth for 10 to 15 minutes. This swishing motion of oil acts to remove harmful bacteria by “pulling” it off teeth, cheeks, and the tongue. Once the allotted time is up, the oil should be spat out, and with it go bacteria

Image: Chiot’s Run / Flickr

Coconut oil is a natural, less expensive, potentially more beneficial alternative to mouthwash. and toxins. Ideally, oil pulling should be done on an empty stomach, as experts claim that this causes the oil pulling process to strengthen and intensify one’s metabolism.

Although any kind of oil may be used, a few have been proven to yield the most effective results in reducing plaque and gingivitis. Among the top toxin and bacteria “pullers” are

sesame oil, sunflower oil, and coconut oil. Studies have shown that sesame oil has high antibacterial activity while causing no staining or lingering aftertaste, effectively pulling off plaquecausing bacteria in the mouth.

Like sesame oil, sunflower oil has been proven to reduce plaque.

More impressively, sunflower oil pulling has been shown to effectively reduce gin-

givitis by almost 60 per cent.

Coconut oil ranks high as an effective pulling agent in the way that it targets bacteria known to contribute to tooth decay. By doing so, coconut oil can reduce cavities by inhibiting the bacteria from growing and creating acidic compounds on our teeth.

Beyond the scope of oral health, oil pulling also con-

tributes to overall body health.

When toxins and harmful bacteria trapped in the crevices of our mouths are pulled out and removed, they are prevented from spreading to the inside of our body and contributing to — or even causing — disease.

The mouth is a breeding ground for all sorts of bacteria, and removing harmful strains helps strengthen our immune system.

The most substantial longterm health benefit of oil pulling is its potential to cure arthritis.

Surprisingly, many cases of arthritis in later age are caused by dental infections. The removal of harmful bacteria during oil pulling can prevent these infections, therefore lessening the risk of getting the joint disorder.

Other studies have shown oil pulling to be an effective way of treating asthma and chronic migraines.

More and more health experts continue to join in the favour and praise of oil pulling. It may seem like a foreign (and even repugnant) practice to many, but studies have found the oral and overall health benefits to be just as effective, if not even more, than traditional mouthwash.

The next time you have 10 minutes free and are feeling adventurous, why not give this proven effective treatment a go? Grab a tablespoon of your favourite oil, relax, and let the proven process go to work.

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SPORTS & HEALTH

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014

UFV Legends: Nicole Wierks

the bottom — was there ever a point where it almost got to be too much, where you thought about giving up?

I don’t think you’re fully committed to the team if you [don’t] feel that at some point. We won just two games our first year.

It was terrible; we didn’t know what to expect when we walked onto the CIS floor. It was three of us who had just come out of high school starting, a couple of younger players, and one veteran player. It was a struggle, but I think at the end of the year we had a decision to make — whether or not this is how we wanted it to be. Did we want to make a change. I think that that was a big game changer for me, deciding that if I am going to be here I am going to work my butt off so we can get a good result.

NATHAN HUTTON THE CASCADE

Program: Bachelor of science Height: 5’10” Hometown: Chilliwack, B.C. High School: Chilliwack Secondary Nicole Wierks’ time on the court was spent as part of the core group of players placed in leadership roles from their very first season with UFV. Over five seasons, Wierks and her teammates transformed the program, carrying the team on their shoulders. Wierks, who was awarded UFV’s academic athlete award for the second season in a row (with a perfect 4.33 GPA), has left a lasting impression through her contributions both on and off the court.

What was it like to win the bronze medal to cap off your career?

The nice thing about it was that we got to end on a win. For the last four years we had always ended on a loss. Last year we lost both games at nationals, the year before that we lost both games at regional nationals. It was kind of this neverending loss at the end of every year ... to finally turn that around and end with a couple wins at nationals, it was so much nicer. I don’t know if I would rather lose in the final game or win in the bronze game ... [but] it was nice to finish off the season that way for me because we worked so hard for so long.

Image: Tree Frog Imaging

Nicole Wierks led the way with 17 points in UFV’s nationally broadcast semifinal against U of Windsor.

How would you describe getting to play with your sister for the last four years?

Well I’ve played with her for longer than that, actually, just one year without her. It’s nice to have her around — not only are we used to having each other around, we click and we know what each other is going to do.

It’s nice to have somebody to talk to after the game is over and debrief what happened, what went wrong, or vent. It’s nice to have someone who is always there for you.

What would you say to coach Al Tuchscherer after playing under him for your university career?

I just want to thank him for the five years — it’s been an amazing and life-changing experience. No matter the emotional roller-coaster that it [was], I wouldn’t change a thing. He gave me that opportunity when a lot of other people walked away. I just have extreme gratitude towards him.

You have played with Courtney Bartel for a long time both in high school and university.

How has the relationship between the two of you grown throughout the years?

Courtney and I have been best friends since ever, so it was a neat experience to play with her for the full five years after our high school careers. We have become more like sisters then we ever had before. It was a good experience — I think if I was separated from her, if she was on a different team or didn’t play or I didn’t play, then we might

www.ufvcascade.ca

Image: Tree Frog Imaging

After five hard-fought years of university basketball, Wierks is planning to take her skills to med school. have lost touch because that’s what happens sometimes when you take on such a commitment.

I am glad we got the chance to grow and become more sisterlike.

How has it been seeing other new players make the team since the year you started?

You kind of just hear about these players and you have these preconceived ideas of who they are, and it is never anything like how you expect. It’s just cool to get to know everyone as a person and to understand that everybody grows as a person and

over the years people are going to change.

Do you feel like you’re leaving the program in good hands?

I think that we are going to have a lot of players stepping it up next year, not just Kayli [Sartori] and Sarah. I expect a number of players on the team to be able to. I guess it’s kind of a relief that we are gone — now they get to step up.

Is it bittersweet at all to know that you don’t get that one more season to try for a national championship after com-

ing so close last year?

You have no idea. You want to be happy with what happens, [but] you always think one more year. I always think to myself if I had that one more year, could we get Windsor? But, you could always say that — there is always room to improve. But coming from a team that started at the very bottom, I think that this is still such a great result — that I can’t really be hoping for more. If my body could handle another year and I was allowed then maybe.

You talked about starting at

Do you have a favourite memory from each of your seasons as a Cascade?

There are so many good memories — the first year I think the best thing for us was winning both those games. It was kind of a little bit of a hint that yeah — we can do this one day. One day we are going to be good.

The second year is an easy one: we played Winnipeg and we were the seventh seed and they were the second and we kicked them both games. We weren’t as bad [as in the previous season], I think we were .500 or something. We walked in there thinking we had nothing to lose and we won by like 20-25 [points] both games. Knocking a team off the top was a pretty memorable experience.

Third and fourth year are kind of a blur for me. But definitely this year, besides the bronze medal game, was winning against Alberta [in the conference semifinal]. We had prepared so hard for them and we had stolen games from them in the past. Then this year they beat us in the regular season — we played terribly, so it was kind of neat to steal one. They played a good game, but I think that we just ended up on top of that one. You should have seen how excited our team was after, [that] we were going to the final game of Canada West.

If you could say anything to the girls in the locker room what would you say?

I would probably say to them [that] now it’s their time. They don’t get to rely on us anymore.

It is their team now. Of course, if they want to talk to me I am here, but it’s your time to shine — your time to prove what you got going on. [And] not only to play hard but to grow as a person; there is more to life than basketball. One day you are going to be me in this situation — you aren’t going to be playing anymore. Just enjoy it while you can as much as possible.

Lastly, what is next for you?

I am hopefully going to be in med school next year. I have two interviews in Ontario, so hopefully those go well.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

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SPORTS & HEALTH

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca

For two B.C. students, class assignment led to seven-month kayak trip RACHELLE STRELEZKI CONTRIBUTOR

Graham and Russell Henry from Victoria, B.C. recently finished a seven-month kayaking expedition from Belém, Brazil to Juneau Beach, Florida. The kinesiology department brought them to UFV to speak to students last week, where, in the confines of the Abbotsford campus lecture hall, they walked through the whole open-water experience.

The Henry brothers were raised in Victoria and spent a lot of time kayaking with their family. Their father owned a local kayak store and their mother was a guide. Both parents kayaked in their free time and always brought their two sons with them on these excursions.

Growing up, they didn’t enjoy paddling that much because it was something they always did with their parents. However, later on in their childhood they attended the YMCA Camp Thunderbird and came to love paddling with friends.

In university (Graham at the University of British Columbia-Okanagan, and Russell at Thompson Rivers University) they still had their passion for paddling. Russell had to plan a dream expedition for a school assignment, and came up with the idea of paddling from Venezuela to Florida. They decided to extend this trip, starting in Brazil instead.

Graham and Russell Henry took an athletic approach to travelling.

Shortly after, they wrote up sponsorship letters to kayaking businesses asking for equipment for their trip. Within a few weeks they had received responses offering to donate to their trip. “This was when we actually realized ‘we are doing this,’” Russell said.

They began their trip in Belém, Brazil, at the mouth of the Amazon River. Unfortunately, their trip got delayed due to having to wait for their kayaks to be shipped, and once the kayaks arrived they had to drive 21 hours and wait five days at customs in order to fi-

nally start their voyage. Later on in their expedition they realized this sort of unplanned inconvience had an upside. “This delay turned out to be a blessing because we were forced to learn Portuguese.” Graham said.

On their trip they faced many challenges such as bugs, harsh weather conditions, mud, minor injuries, and fluctuations in the tide. They got minor cracks in their boats and broke multiple steering devices. Paddling for 12 to 14 hours a day also had its dangers — on one occasion they had to spend 36 hours straight in their kayaks because there

Image: Henry Brother Kayak Expedition / Facebook

was no land nearby.

When they weren’t busy paddling they stopped at schools and talked to kids about their kayaking trip. They also paddled with locals and learned from them.

“The people we met on our trip were beyond generous,” Russell said. They were blown away by how people treated them when they arrived to a new destination. The locals would carry their boats, feed them, and accommodate them.

They finally arrived in Juneau Beach, Florida in just under seven months. They were greeted

by their family, friends, and ESPN. In total they stopped in 23 countries and territories and paddled for 365,000 kilometers.

“The most interesting part of our journey was that things always changed between landscapes in each country,” Graham said.

When asked what they would do differently if they had the chance, Graham said, “We would definitely do more research before the trip — we didn’t think that the conditions would be that bad. And we would also learn how to speak Portuguese.”

For Russell the most difficult aspect of the trip was “moving so fast and meeting all these different people. The longest relationships we made were for three days. It is very hard not to form any long-term relationships with anyone for seven months besides your brother.” “[But] we didn’t do this trip to beat a Guinness Book of World Records,” Graham said. “We wanted a challenge and wanted something that would be the hardest thing we ever had to do.

We also wanted to do something that was very different. We have found that there is a huge benefit in outdoor adventure. It challenges you in ways that nothing else can.”

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SPORTS & HEALTH

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca