The Cascade Vol. 24 No. 2

JANUARY 20. 2016 TO JANUARY 26, 2016

VOLUME 24 ISSUE 2

Leaving the Christmas lights up since 1993

Wrapping up 2015 The year in movies, albums, and books Pages 8-14

WWW.UFVCASCADE.CA

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

CONTENTS

News

Opinion

Culture

Arts

SUS resignations

The Cheesie problem

Behind the masque

Goodbye, Starman

SUS sends out job posting after multiple food service managers leave

Puffs or crunchies?

The debate rages on

Masquerade ball transforms the SUB into a glitzy hive

A crash course on David Bowie’s musical career

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CONTRIBUTORS

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Michael Scoular michael@ufvcascade.ca

Opinion Editor Alex Rake alex@ufvcascade.ca

Illustrator Sultan Jum sultan@ufvcascade.ca

Managing Editor Valerie Franklin valerie@ufvcascade.ca

Culture Editor Glen Ess glen@ufvcascade.ca

Webmaster Brayden Buchner brayden@ufvcascade.ca

Business Manager Jennifer Trithardt-Tufts jennifer@ufvcascade.ca

Arts in Review Editor Martin Castro martin@ufvcascade.ca

Multimedia Editor Mitch Huttema mitch@ufvcascade.ca

Copy Editor Kat Marusiak kat@ufvcascade.ca

Production Manager Brittany Cardinal brittany@ufvcascade.ca

Staff Writer Sonja Klotz sonjak@ufvcascade.ca

News Editor (interim) Vanessa Broadbent vanessa@ufvcascade.ca

Production Assistant Danielle Collins danielle@ufvcascade.ca

Arts Writer Jeffrey Trainor jeffrey@ufvcascade.ca

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Drew Bergen Ekanki Chawla Josh Friesen Raynah McIvor PJ Ouellet

WWW.UFVCASCADE.CA @UFVCASCADE FACEBOOK.COM/UFVCASCADE INSTAGRAM.COM/THE.CASCADE

Pankaj Sharma Terrill Smith Rachel Tait Karen White

Volume 24 · Issue 2 Room S2111 33844 King Road Abbotsford, BC V2S 7M8 604.854.4529 Cover image: Sultan Jum Printed by International Web exPress

The Cascade is UFV’s autonomous student newspaper. It provides a forum for UFV students to have their journalism published and also acts as an alternative press for the Fraser Valley. The Cascade is funded with UFV student funds. The Cascade is published every Wednesday with a circulation of 1,500, and is distributed at UFV campuses and throughout Abbotsford, Chilliwack, and Mission. Submissions are preferred in electronic format through e-mail. Please send submissions in “.txt” or “.doc” format only.

Articles and letters to the editor must be typed. The Cascade reserves the right to edit submissions for clarity and length. The Cascade will not print any articles that contain racist, sexist, homophobic, or libellous content. The writer’s name and student number must be submitted with each submission. Letters to the editor must be under 250 words if intended for print. Only one letter to the editor per writer in any given edition. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect that of UFV, Cascade staff and collective, or associated members.

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

EDITORIAL

NEWS BRIEFS UBC faculty signs open letter following sexual assaults More than 80 of UBC’s faculty members signed an open letter apologizing for not doing more to encourage their institution’s protection of students from sexual assaults. The letter was a response following complaints from students and alumni that it took a year and a half for the university to respond to sexual assault allegations against a PhD student. The university has promised to create a standalone sexual assault policy by holding discussions with students, faculty, and staff. The new policy is to be in place by this September.

—The Canadian Press

City of Abbotsford to close homeless camps The City of Abbotsford has informed a local homeless activist group that it still intends to dismantle a camp on Gladys Avenue in the downtown area.

This decision follows a court decision last year that said homeless persons have the right to sleep overnight in public spaces in the city. Interpretation of this ruling has led to debate over the City’s decision. Both the mayor, Henry Braun, and deputy city manager, Jake Rudolph, have announced this as an upcoming event, while the lawyer who represented the homeless, DJ Larkin, says this is “a very limited view of what the ruling means.”

—The Abbotsford News

BCIT opens nap room The B.C. Institute of Technology’s (BCIT) student association has opened a nap room on campus.

Students can book one-hour slots from 12:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. on weekdays. Health and wellness coordinator Hannah Bielert explained that the service is intended to benefit student’s mental health. Students using the room will be provided with a vinyl mat and a pillow, both of which are cleaned after each use. Students at the University of Calgary have access to a similar service, which opened in December of 2015. ­— CBC

Containing the critics Program reviews are now a private matter at UFV. What will be lost?

Illustration: Sultan Jum

MICHAEL SCOULAR EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

There’s always something a little unnerving about printing out a final essay — how many hours, how many tabs, how much stress and eye-strained reading and backspacing and this is what you get?

Twelve pages of paper. We hope our professors understand. Well, there is an equivalent, in some sense: professors’ lives are pulled, one way and then another, by paperwork. Their jobs, their areas of research and teaching: all of these end up, at some point, summarized on a page. Perhaps none of these looms so large as the reviews professors encounter: of their status as professors, and the status of the programs that they teach in. It’s relevant to bring this up now, because how UFV shares the results of its program reviews is about to change — already has.

After updating Senate on the recent new degree proposal business that’s working its way through the provincial government’s paper-sorting systems (see page five for more on that), vice-president academic Eric Davis noted that UFV, apparently, was out-of-date when it comes to standardizing its own review process, and that the Province offered some notes. “The following information is normally considered confidential,” Davis said, beginning a list: “The names of reviewers, the names of all faculty and staff members consulted, and any, let’s say, difficult or challenging comments by reviewers are considered confidential or ought to be treated confidentially.”

As a result, program reviews will now be presented and discussed in camera, or in private, and the only publicized form of information will be an annual report. That report will not include the reviews as originally presented, but will, Davis said, “[Summarize] some common themes in the program reviews from that year. And if there are difficult recommendations or comments in the program reviews, they can be alluded to in a diplomatic fashion.”

A public university, trying to please both its provincial legislators and its public, is always considering two sides of what to say: the truth of how things are, and the parts of the truth that it is legally obligated to share. In this case, it turns out the university will not need to share as much as it was up to this point — the relevant departments will receive review findings internally, and changes will happen, if they do, in a way that is as undisruptive as possible. Davis concluded by saying this standard will begin this month — which means December’s review of the psychology program might be the last one released to the public in full. What are the difficult, challenging, in the future to-be confidential segments of its findings?

Well, the kind of thing that could probably apply to almost any department of teaching at UFV, the kind of in-progress debate and disagreement that, in any university that teaches inquiry and “critical thinking,” would hopefully be assumed to be the norm. (Note: the external reviewers in this case were three professors, one from UVic, one from UBC, and one from another department at UFV.) One of the review’s main debates, for example, is how to make a department grow, and how to do it without additional classrooms, offices, or faculty members. “The committee noted that the program and faculty workloads are heavily

stacked on the first year, leaving less breadth and options at the upper year levels ... They observed that the imbalance of resources devoted to lower levels in turn affected the length of time students were taking to graduate, on average seven years.”

It probably has not escaped the notice of most students that first-year courses are always abundant on just about every department’s timetable listings, while upper-year courses, with a few exceptions, are limited to a smaller pool of rotating offerings.

“

A public university, trying to please both its provincial legislators and its public, is always considering two sides of what to say: the truth of how things are, and the parts of the truth that it is legally obligated to share.

What was the review’s recommendation to address this problem? They put it this way: “Simply put, it is not the best use of Ph.D. trained Psychologists to edit grammar on written assignments for multiple sections of 30 first-year students ... the department should begin scheduling larger firstyear classes by combining sections. Such strategies are already being employed by other departments at UFV.” Along with this shift comes the idea also shared by many other universities, though it is more common at the graduate level: “using undergraduate teaching assistants (TAs), in turn preparing them for post-graduate opportunities and communication skills beneficial in many of the work opportunities pursued by Psychology graduates.” This last point, of course, would open up a gigantic topic that is the centre of numerous controversies: TA unionization, fair compensation, the quality of teaching that results as universities offload more work to TAs, etc.

The response to this idea? “Department members are loathe to give up small class sizes where students are better able to initiate one-to-

one interactions with their instructors than occurs at big research universities.” Which is followed by this contextual jab: “It is worth noting that no data is quoted to support the claim that student [sic] in these small classes are more successful than students in larger classes who go on to enjoy more research opportunities and course choice at upper levels.”

The review process is not a command, and the words printed in them are not final, but this is a record of a debate about the very nature of UFV: if we’re going to talk about data supporting or not supporting lower class sizes, then we’re talking about one of the most highly-supported features of UFV. The more discussions like this are public, the more departments, both faculty and students, can learn from one another, and be aware of the institution as a whole.

The rest of the document includes references to other changes and questions, some small, some with the potential to have broader impact: shell courses for research opportunities (seen in use in the theatre department), which directly fund departments; the question of how valuable a UFV degree is compared to other institutions; the decision-making process when it comes to filling vacant faculty positions, and how to introduce and welcome new faculty and staff members when they arrive in a new department; how to improve writing standards for non-writing intensive disciplines; the role played by online and hybrid courses, and the question of how effective they really are.

On that last note, a review, apparently, is a way to find honest perspectives; outside of a private conversation, or a professor briefly opinionating on a matter, depending on who you have courses with for a semester, that can be a rare thing at UFV. “The view held by members of the department [is] that Blackboard, as it is currently being used by UFV, is not the optimal vehicle for obtaining these benefits.”

Or this short sentence: “Since the review, the department head has moved into an office with a window.” Clarification follows: the reason many faculty aren’t on campus has more to do with where they live (outside Abbotsford), and low morale.

But, well, if you’re already buried in paperwork, as any student knows: having a window helps.

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www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

NEWS Photo: Mitch Huttema

SUS food services left without management in wake of resignations GLEN ESS THE CASCADE

A recent string of resignations has left the Student Union Society’s (SUS) food services without any management.

With the recent departure of Shane Potter, SUS services director, and Nathan Unger, manager of Fair Grounds (the student-run coffee shop in the Student Union Building), coupled with last week’s resignation of Cameron Stephens, the restaurant manager of the Canoe, the SUS’s food services are left with none of the original management in place when the SUB opened at the start of this academic year.

SUS president Thomas Davies says the food and beverage services in the SUB will be temporarily managed by Krista Alicia, the Canoe’s chef (a permanent, non-student position).

“Krista, who is our chef, has accepted the position of interim manager,” Davies says. Alicia will oversee the running of the services, while

the student positions previously held by Unger and Stephens — who were charged with the daily running of their respective services — will be left empty. Davies says he thinks this is not going to be a problem.

“On a short-term basis that’s not much of a concern; the day-to-day element of this is no concern, and Krista is able to manage a broader picture for a short-term basis,” Davies says.

Though Fair Grounds was closed for the first week of the winter semester, both the coffee shop and Canoe restaurant have otherwise been open during regular hours.

When it comes to permanent, non-student jobs, Davies says the services director position left vacant by Potter will be replaced by a new position that specifically manages food and beverage services.

“We are hiring a food and beverages services director, someone who will have extensive industry experience,” Davies says. “That [new position] is, essentially, a replacement for the position that Shane Potter held.”

However, Potter’s services director position also oversaw other student services as well; Davies notes that the new position does not include those.

“The previous services director also included the campus connector shuttle bus, health and dental, and U-Pass programs,” he says. “We removed those and reallocated responsibility for those and the new person will be focusing exclusively on food and beverage.”

The contracts for the health and dental and shuttle bus services will now be handled by SUS staff members, with Davies saying that the SUS is unsure at this time if they will need to hire a student services coordinator for the U-Pass program.

Until the new food and beverages position is filled, SUS isn’t hiring replacements for Stephens or Unger. Davies says that this leaves some flexibility for the new services director to potentially alter SUS’s food services management structure.

“I’m sure there’s lots that can be improved

— we can always improve — and someone with industry experience can help guide us through that,” he explains.

Davies did not comment on how long it will be until a food and beverage services director is hired, saying only that SUS started the hiring process when Potter confirmed his departure.

“We posted through a variety of job boards locally and regionally,” he says. “We have it up for a period of time that we feel is going to be necessary to collect a set of applications.”

The job posting has, as of press time, been online for 30 days. Among other details, the fulltime position calls for a minimum of five years of experience, paying $45,000 annually with benefits. “You will be responsible for overseeing 40+ employees and successfully coordinating and directing on the floor food service activities,” the job description reads. “You will strategically develop efficiencies in the operation and the achievement of financial goals, particularly around labour costs.”

“We’ve made some progress” After delay, VP academic reports three degrees pass initial approval stage MICHAEL SCOULAR THE CASCADE

Three degrees — majors in agriculture, indigenous studies, and peace and conflict studies, with minor options for the latter two — passed the Degree Quality Assessment Board (DQAB) at its December meeting, VP academic Eric Davis announced last week.

“They’ve gone to the Minister [of Advanced Education], and we now await his decision on the status of those programs,” Davis said in his report to Senate. “I’m hopeful that he will see no reason to disagree with the DQAB.” The minister, Andrew Wilkinson, would be the final stage of approval for UFV to begin offering these degree options.

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This movement is the first sense of progress when it comes to new degree approval for UFV in a number of months. After being granted exempt status from the DQAB review process in 2013, Davis called it a major step for the university. “The exempt status is a milestone partly because our program reviews are recognized as excellent, meaning we need less oversight and we’re no different from any other university,” Davis said at the time, adding that the cost of each DQAB review can be high, estimated at $8,000.

But in October of last year, six UFV degree proposals were sent back to the DQAB from the minister’s office, where they had been said to be waiting for approval, with a request of contextual information in a new format. Davis alluded to this last week, saying, “A new step in the approval process has been introduced

whereby all institutions must fill out a template.” This template covers four broad areas: how a degree fits with the province’s mandate, the social and economic needs of the region, whether there is any potential program duplication within the university, and how the degree would fit with student interest.

This new step has resulted in a delay: the three degrees that are moving ahead were all projected, in their proposals, to be ready for students by either the Fall 2015 or Winter 2016 semesters. The same is true of the proposed theatre major, while the bachelor of education and bachelor of media arts proposals aim for a Fall 2016 start date. Those three degrees are on the agenda for the DQAB’s January meeting, Davis said, with an update to potentially come at the next meeting of Senate, on February 12.

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

NEWS Photo: UFV

Indigenization committee of Senate will work against “historical amnesia” VANESSA BROADBENT THE CASCADE

“UFV is situated on unceded Stó:lo territory.”

Most students at UFV have heard this introduction numerous times, but the new Indigenization Committee of Senate is working to bring more meaning to those words.

“The [Indigenization] committee of Senate is going to advise on more things than recruitment and retention and community priorities, but also look at curriculum and those tough things,” explains Shirley Hardman, UFV’s senior advisor on indigenous affairs.

Mark Point, a Stó:lo educator and previous UFV aboriginal coordinator, has recently been appointed chair of the committee.

Because the committee is still in its founding stages, a concrete list of goals has not yet been made, but Hardman notes that its primary focus is to promote indigenous education.

“The primary focus is on indigenous education and how we set the bar higher to meet the needs of aboriginal and non-aboriginal students with regards to indigenous education,” she explains.

“Some of it is about changing policy and curriculum so that we’re including aboriginal ways of knowing and being across the curriculum for all students.”

Unlike the Board of Governors, which deals with finance and management, Senate focuses on academic issues, and the committee will work closely with Senate to ensure that indigenous education needs are being met.

“I think it’s another way using our governance structure to bring in an indigenous voice and have a better understanding of that as we make decisions about academic policies or curriculum and not just rely on our own expertise, but also bring in from the community itself and bring that into the Senate discussions,” says vice provost and associate vice-president academic Peter Geller.

Unlike any of Senate’s other committees, the indigenization committee will have members from outside UFV. “Senate is usually faculty members, administration, staff, deans, so we thought it was also important to have members of the

indigenous community … who wanted to get engaged and help us have that conversation,” Geller says. “Also, it’s a way to connect what we’re doing with the aboriginal community as well and bring those voices in dialogue with UFV.” Recruiting outside members was something completely new to Senate. The process included talking with chiefs, councils, and various aboriginal organizations, including the Stó:lo nations and the Stó:lo tribal council.

“We had some community consultations, but wze also asked indigenous faculty and staff and the elder-in-residence [for] their ideas,” Geller adds.

“

We don’t have all the answers within the walls of UFV. We need to go out and engage, and this is one way to do that

Along with the outside members, the committee is made up of faculty members who, as Geller explains, “have expertise either teaching indigenous studies or experience working within the indigenous community,” as well as two self-identified aboriginal students.

While the indigenization committee will be the first of its kind on Senate, UFV has seen something similar before with the stillexisting aboriginal community council.

“There is an existing aboriginal community council that was formed and that is turning more to looking at supporting student services and student success ... this is more related to the curriculum and academic policies and that sort of work,” Geller explains.

Many Canadian universities are making efforts to indigenize, but UFV is one of only three in the province that has a specific committee of Senate focused on it, alongside Thompson Rivers and UNBC. “It’s something that many universities are realizing that we

need to address from the perspective of better serving aboriginal students, and also making the university a place that everybody, every student, would understand something about this place from an indigenous perspective,” Geller says.

But while other universities may not have indigenization committees of Senate, that doesn’t mean that they’re not working to indigenize their curriculum. Some universities, like Lakehead University and University of Winnipeg, have included a mandatory indigenization course in their graduation requirements.

UFV has a variety of indigenous studies courses, and an indigenous studies major and minor are currently awaiting approval from the Ministry of Advanced Education. However, UFV isn’t planning to make any of these courses mandatory; instead, it’s working to indigenize all of its courses.

“I like our approach right now where people are introduced to these concepts in English 105 for example — students are receiving that without having to sign up for a special course,” Hardman says.

“Students don’t have to take a specific course, but they won’t be able to leave here without having been introduced and having the opportunity to delve more deeply into indigenous studies.”

For Hardman, the committee couldn’t have come at a better time.

“In the past, we as a country, as a province, as a community, have suffered historic amnesia,” she says. “There are so many things that we don’t know about aboriginal people in Canada.”

Hardman sees this “amnesia” as a result of a lack of indigenous education.

“The amnesia is that it hasn’t been a part of our education,” she explains. “There’s so much that we don’t know and when we don’t know, we’re uninformed, we jump to conclusions, we buy into stereotypes we don’t understand.”

Geller shares the same sentiment, and sees the committee as a responsibility of the university.

“We don’t have all the answers within the walls of UFV. We need to go out and engage, and this is one way to do that.”

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www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

OPINION

S

I’m no Superman Sonja Klotz

Wifi can suck it

There is nothing like wanting to save the whole world all in one day. Every day we wake up and learn about another disaster, or another conflict that is happening in our communities, locally and worldwide. Some people decide to be ignorant and live in bliss while others make ambitious efforts towards change, one social issue at a time. I, at the best of times and at the worst of times, happen to fall in the latter part of society. Every morning I wake up and learn about the latest events and wonder if there is anything I could do to save the afflicted people and their communities. Being part of a few community-based organizations, I always try to integrate some of my “save the world” goals into what I am doing. The problem lies when I end my day knowing that there is still another person that is disadvantaged in some way. Of course I am aware that I am not humanly able to save every living being on this planet, but sometimes I wish I could just snap my fingers and everyone would have a day of peace, wholeness, and security. Is that simply too much to ask for?

This is going to sound weird, but I have this metal tooth, and it picks up wifi signals like an old sandwich picks up mold. Have you ever heard a wifi signal? It’s like a robot beatboxing through a megaphone directly into your ear. It’s really distracting when I’m trying to study.

So I spend a lot of time in the SUB, where wifi signals are at such minimal levels that I barely notice the sound at all! I think SUS deserves a huge pat on the back for making the SUB a wifi-free zone for students like me, who actually prefer not to have access to these noisy, annoying signals.

I’ve heard a lot of complaining about the lack of internet access, but I would argue that internet access on a university campus is pointless anyway. We have a library here, people. Open a book for once! Spare me and my poor, metal tooth of your senseless blips and bloops.

Illustrations: Brittany Cardinal

Curtailed commentary on current conditions

The sandwich finds its package

For the longest time, the Fair Grounds cafe in the Student Union Building could not figure out how to package their breakfast sandwiches.

Every day I ordered one, it would come wrapped in something different: a compostable container, a paper bag, a napkin, the bottom half of a compostable container, two napkins …

There was no consistency!

But since the new semester started, it’s come in that cute little paper bag. Congratulations, Fair Grounds! You have found yourself! Your ability to identify a problem, however tiny, and solve it is utterly inspiring. I didn’t even know student-run organizations could find consistency after going without it for so long. Some of us could learn from your noble dedication to selfimprovement and your courageous refusal to defer blame.

Also, those sandwiches are tasty. Keep up the good work.

Alex Rake

Hospital parking fees are sickening Valerie Franklin

Reyanne Dio

One night during Christmas break, I drove a sick friend to the emergency room. Hospital waits are notoriously long, and it was an hour before she was admitted to triage, another hour before she was brought in for treatment, and almost two hours before she was deemed healthy enough to be sent home.

For those four hours, I shelled out about $12 in parking fees. I ran out to reload the metre twice during our visit, each time scanning my windshield anxiously in case there was a ticket tucked under the wipers, then rushing back inside to make sure my friend didn’t need anything.

It’s unbelievable that a hospital, of all places, charges for parking. Maybe you’re hoping, like I did, that out of the warmth and compassion of their hearts they don’t actually ticket violators — but another friend found out the hard way that they do. She had dropped a kitchen knife on her foot, severing a tendon, and was rushed inside for stitches. When she came out three hours later, a ticket was waiting for her.

People at hospitals are suffering, or watching people they love suffer. Sometimes they’re watching them die. Worrying about getting a ticket should be the last thing on their minds.

Mourning celebrity: Is it the person or the persona we miss?

GLEN ESS THE CASCADE

Well, that was a pretty shitty week. David Bowie, Alan Rickman, and if you want to go back all the way to the last days of 2015, Lemmy Kilmister. These artists were all incredibly important to so many people, and now they’ve sadly passed away. How does one go about dealing with the demise of their idols, their heroes? It’s a tough one to answer. For example, right now, more than anything else, I want to just lie down and listen to all of David Bowie’s music (except maybe Blackstar — it’s too soon, man, too soon) while watching Alan Rickman’s movies: Die Hard, Sense and Sensibility,

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Galaxy Quest, and of course, the entirety of the Harry Potter series. I want to lie down and immerse myself in the works of these two giants of their respective media; to drown my sorrows by drowning myself in their collected works.

Of course I can’t do that. I’ve got a life to lead, school and work to focus on. I doubt anyone has the time to sit and marvel at the journey of their idol through time.

But then, what can you do?

It’s a question I’ve been pondering a lot as I catch Bowie songs here and there, and snippets from Rickman films and plays every now and then. Whenever I do, I wonder if maybe trying to somehow mourn their loss with a large, more comprehensive review

of their works is a little much. What if I’m letting their deaths hit me a little too hard?

After all, it’s not like I had the fortune to ever meet them, or to speak to them. I never had a personal relationship with either man.

And yet, they inf luenced my childhood to an incredible degree. But all I could see was those professional highs and lows, not any of the personal battles they had to fight. I saw the great musician, the fantastic actor; I saw my idols, but I saw them as they wanted me to see them — not them, personally.

Perhaps when mourning a famous and inf luential person we should remember that, for all the impact they’ve had on us, we never really knew them, and we should respect the gap and differences between

their professional, public persona and the person they probably were in private, with their loved ones — the people who actually knew them.

And so I put it to you, that I’ll be mourning the loss of the musician who gave us The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars and Diamond Dogs. I’ll be grieving over the actor who was Snape. But I’ll let their respective friends and family grieve for David Jones and Alan Rickman.

I just hope this spate of 69-year-old British celebrities passing doesn’t continue.

I swear, if anything happens to Tim Curry…

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

OPINION

A website, or a labyrinth?

DREW BERGEN CONTRIBUTOR

I’m not going to beat around the bush: UFV’s website is not very good. I don’t mean that it offends my eyes; the visual design is fairly nice. I also don’t mean that the website is functionally poor; everything works as it should.

What I mean is that the website is a virtual labyrinth; just finding the page you need to be on is far more of a chore than it needs to be.

Let’s start with the front page and assume I’m a new student interested in applying to UFV. So, where should I go first? “Future Students,” “Admissions,” “Registration QuickLinks,” or “Continuing Education”?

The front page is plagued with minititles like these that range from accurate to pretty vague. All four of the pages I listed above could feasibly

be the place that a new student is supposed to go first, and there’s a solid chance they have to click around a bit before they can say, “Ah yes, this is where I should start.” It all needs to be made more efficient by re-organizing which link goes where and what that link is titled.

The ideal university website would get the links on their main page down to a few tabs: future students, current students, academics, athletics, etc. All of these should have the appropriate links underneath to help someone out.

If I’m a future student looking for a particular page, all I need to do is look at the tabs and see the single option that says “Future Students,” and I’ll think, “Ah yes, I am a future student and I wish to apply.” The alternative of going on the site and seeing four links that are potentially for a future student is overwhelming. And believe

me, I was overwhelmed when I was first applying to UFV. A new student’s situation doesn’t get easier after clicking on these links and getting to the pages, either.

Each page is filled to the brim with smaller links tucked away in every corner with equally vague titles. The clunky MyUFV is no better; having to find something like your schedule tucked away deep in the registration links isn’t good, especially when that information should be immediately available.

To make matters better, UFV needs to make their website navigation much more efficient; pages and links should be re-organized into a neat and much more efficient layout. I really hope that sometime soon it’s cleaned up and made a more intuitive and user-friendly experience.

Illustrations: Brittany Cardinal

Cheesies: the dilemma of Puffs versus Crunchies Exploring the world of cheesy cornmeal

Illustrations: Brittany Cardinal

PANKAJ SHARMA

ever had actual cheese. They must be going off a Wikipedia article, or prose in a Middle English poem. I can taste the cornmeal, and salt. I do not feel hunger, but I cannot stop eating. My fingers rummage through the bag violently, like a metaphor for rampant capitalism and colonialism.

CONTRIBUTOR

Let’s be clear, there isn’t much of a debate here.

Crunchies are almost universally regarded as the superior form of cheese cornmeal snack, barring a few fanatics or delusional heretics. In fact, if you check the vending machine on the first floor of the Student Union Building (by the campus card office) you’ll notice Crunchies are offered, but no Puffs. The corporations know what sells.

They know all.

Some might be asking, does this matter? Of course it doesn’t. If you are at a point in your life where this discussion needs to happen, you either have a lot of time on your hands or you are a cheeseball tub away from a breakdown. But if we are going to do this, let us do it thoroughly so it never needs to happen again. Join me as I eat and analyze cheese snacks.

Structure Puffs: Light and airy. Puffy. A relatively uniform shape, like that of a small detached finger of a demon child. Or silkworms, dead and orange.

While larger than the Crunchies, the outside of each piece of cornmeal looks only lightly dusted by cheese product. Smells like a dirty washcloth when I open the bag.

Crunchies: Smaller, but much denser. The

shapes of the cornmeal pieces show more variance than the Puffs, and they have a stronger orange hue. Incredibly, the irregularity in the shape seems to actually provide a stronger flavour, as the cheese powder holds tighter in the crevices and uneven surface area. I can’t place the smell, but it stirs something within me. Fear. I’m nervous.

Taste and Mouthfeel Puffs: Gristly. I can feel it sticking to my teeth.

Dissolves within seconds; I could eat these

without chewing. The cheese flavour is like a memory. Like you had some cheese in a earlier meal and then burped, or maybe even threw up in your mouth a little bit. Can a mouth feel clammy?

Crunchies: A much more satisfying crunch.

You’re definitely going to be more aware of the calories you are consuming because you are putting in effort to consume them. Much like the Puffs, I can feel it sticking to my teeth. The flavour is more pronounced than the Puffs, but I’ve begun to realize no one in this industry has

Aftermath I feel sick. I feel afraid. On the one hand, the Puffs are form without substance, weakness that has no place in nature. But they do not stir the same need to consume that the Crunchies do.

The need and desire that I cannot control. The Crunchies bag advertises “no preservatives.” I am reminded of my mortality. My head aches and my muscles feel weak, like I skipped doing bicep curls. I am less confident. I can see people pass by as I write this; our eyes lock through the window.

Nothing is said, no signal given — but a voice in my head screams that they know what I have done. When I look outside, I don’t see the sun I remember growing up with. There is no warmth, no light, no true colours. Everything is shades of cheese. It is true what they say, that we are what we eat. I am primal, I am limitless. I am become snack, destroyer of swole.

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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

MUSIC 01

02

03

Kendrick Lamar

Earl Sweatshirt

Tame Impala

I Don’t Like Shit I Don’t Go Outside

Currents

At 19 years old, Earl Sweatshirt delivered one of the best debut albums in recent years: 2013’s Doris. However, if there were any qualms listeners had with Doris, those would be the beat selection and sometimes-monotone delivery.

Rest assured, these are now things of the past as Earl is in top form throughout the entirety of this lyrically dense, albeit short, journey into the self. A condensed look into the mind of one of the genre’s most interesting young artists, I Don’t Like Shit’s best moments come in the songs “Mantra,” “Faucet,” and “Wool,” which features a fantastic verse from Vince Staples to finish off the album. It hasn’t received all the credit it deserves because of its early-2015 release, but this is one of — if not the most — cohesive albums of the past year. — PO

Currents isn’t Tame Impala’s coming-out party, but it certainly is a statement that Kevin Parker is a force to be reckoned with.

His sleek, psychedelic-inspired production and dense instrumentation made Currents a perfect soundtrack for the summer of 2015. Tracks such as “Let It Happen,” “The Less I Know The Better,” and “Eventually” are the centrepieces of the album, but Currents has high points from front to back, with each track revealing another dimension of the lush sonic playground that Tame Impala operates within. — JT

To Pimp A Butterfly

When good kid, m.A.A.d city came out, everybody who gave a shit lost their shit. Accessible? And smart? And fun? And, wait, is this hip hop that’s actually making me feel ... feelings? It seemed it had been a while for most people since something that penetrated so far into the mainstream had been so poignant. Say what you want about Kanye West’s artiness, Lamar had something to say that extended beyond the personal. Compare West’s admittedly awesome “Runaway” with Lamar’s “Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst,” and you’ll see the difference between talking about yourself for the sake of yourself and talking about yourself to say something more.

With the fame and respect that the previous album brought Kendrick Lamar, he was evidently given the cultural greenlight to do whatever the fuck he wanted; even if he released an album of helicopter noises, people wouldn’t be able to not listen to it without being behind the times. The brilliance of To Pimp a Butterfly is that it’s eclectic and free, demanding listeners be open to all its jazz, beat poetry, and rock guitars while also managing to be just as — if not more — smart, and fun, and goddamn poignant as anything Lamar has done to date. — AR

07

08

09

Donnie Trumpet

Foals

Yukon Blonde

Originally billed as Chance The Rapper’s third album, in truth Surf belongs to 21-year-old Nico Segal, the eponymous Donnie Trumpet (the Social Experiment’s hornblower), who receives top billing and is a far more consistent presence on the record than the more widely recognized Chance. The album is full of jazzy licks, pop / funk swagger, and a fun sense of theatricality. It’s a fun album that explores themes of expressing individuality and feeling confident enough to be yourself, without being preachy or too serious. Given that it was released for free, Surf is a wellorchestrated and enjoyable “Social Experiment.” — GE

Though What Went Down doesn’t involve Foals’ moving outside of their comfort zone, it does help to further refine their varied indie rock sound, which has essentially become the “Foals” genre. The album features heavy krautrock breakdowns such as on the title track, “What Went Down,” and “Snake Oil,” but also settles into more slow and atmospheric ballads like “London Thunder,” and “Give It All,” which beautifully display the cohesive lyric-writing of frontman Yannis Philippakis. Foals have continually churned out quality material and What Went Down is no exception. If you are a fan of rock music in any capacity, you need to spend some time with this record. — JT

SURF

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What Went Down

On Blonde

On Blonde, the third release by Kelowna-based quintet Yukon Blonde, joined an ever-expanding list of 2015 releases that draw upon the sounds of the ‘80s. The heavy use of keyboards and synthesizers definitely contributed to a retro, glitzy ‘80s pop rock feel that permeates throughout each individual song. The first half of the album is powerfully delivered, fast, and contains the strongest songs, with “Saturday Night” and “Make U Mine” standing out in particular. — GE

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

Contributors: Martin Castro, Glen Ess, PJ Ouellet, Alex Rake, Michael Scoular, Terrill Smith, Katie Stobbart, and Jeffrey Trainor

04

05

06

Drake

Father John Misty

Sufjan Stevens

I Love You Honeybear

Carrie & Lowell

Josh Tillman, better known as Father John Misty, pushes some boundaries. Tillman’s second album is full of tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic social commentary and biting criticisms. It’s probably also the only album that could ever get away with an almost balladic, emotionally drenched delivery of lyrics that are almost never, ever serious. He’s capable of singing about the sweetest of things, but it’s almost always soaked in a deluge of sarcasm and jokes, which can sometimes overpower the haunting, reverby music. But even through the bitter, twisted sense of humour and choice of words, Tillman’s sophomore release is a nostalgic throwback in keeping with many other releases this year. Where others focused on rhythm and groove, I Love You, Honeybear is instead more of a vehicle for Tillman’s inner storyteller and jokester. — GE

Sufjan Stevens put his heart on the table with his latest release, Carrie & Lowell, and we all ended up better off for it. Carrie & Lowell revolves around the life and interaction Stevens had with his mother, Carrie, primarily reflecting on the summers spent with her and his step-father Lowell in Oregon. With Steven’s loss of his mother in 2012, Carrie & Lowell also addressed the hard and often difficult circumstances surrounding the loss of a loved one and the yearning for another moment with them. Though each track on the album is sparse, never featuring more than three or four instrumental components, the weight of the material is as heavy and emotionally stirring as a 50-piece orchestra. — JT

If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late On this mixtape’s opening track, Drake proclaims, “If I die, all I know is I’m a motherfucking legend,” and you know what? He’s not wrong. The Toronto rapper’s evolution is most readily apparent on this project, both technically and in terms of carving out his own sound. The hazy, blurry production on this record is entirely dominated by Drake’s delivery: his timing is meticulous, his bravado is entertaining as hell, and his portrayal of his own life in a seemingly specific manner, while still managing to make Toronto seem vague and somehow menacing, all contribute to this album’s merits. The fact that just about every song on this project still has relevance is also indicative of Drake’s sheer power when it comes to creating popular music. In his own words: “I ain’t gotta do it, but fuck it somebody gotta do it / Hate if someone else did it, fuck, I may as well do it.” — MC

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Carly Rae Jepsen

Ought

Jamie xx

Sun Coming Down

In Colour

Okay, so far more people are going to watch Carly Rae Jepsen like they watch Facebook memes rather than listen to her as a mature, impulsive-poetic artist. No one is ever truly obscure or underrated on the internet, but it still feels that way when an album like Emotion, stuffed with bonus tracks, not a bad one among them, channeling perfect three-minutes-and-out song-structures, is still the stuff of jokes, and not the admiration-through-jokes an artist like Adele gets. The problem, maybe, is that Jepsen was more appreciated as a shy-maybe-love?-really? hit-maker than the characters she embodies here: demanding, then weird; confident, then anxious; craving intimacy, then able to block it out.

Their loss: this was the best pop album of the year. — MS

Montreal-based four-piece band Ought revel in their second album, sounding even more cohesive, comfortable, and in sync with each other than they did on their debut, More Than Any Other Day, which won acclaim for socially conscious lyricism and left-field, post-punk-ish instrumentation. On Sun Coming Down, they slowly ratchet up the tension in each song with magnificent ease. From slow, relaxed beginnings to frantic, breathless climaxes, Ought have developed into some truly amazing, emotion-inducing musicians. Most impressive of all would be Tim Darcy’s ability to deliver repetitive vocals with varying degrees of emotion to evoke a wide range of responses. And that’s exactly what Ought want their listeners to do: respond. — GE

The pop albums we keep listening for, hoping to dream into, are the ones of total, all-covering vision: a sound that all others seem to orbit around. Jamie Smith is a planet, not a star, and there’s a case to be made that what he circles around are some of the worst traditions of British dance music: not really that danceable, the white dj sampling black artists, an underground culture sanitized into something you can nod your head to while filling in spreadsheets in a cubicle. And yet, to criticize an artist for where his listeners take his music is unfair. When critics talk about dance music, they love to find the difficult, the obscure, the unpackable — on his first solo album, Jamie xx is coasting through his personal music history, spacing it apart with marimbas and radio chatter, and including as much as he can: both the slow-motion romance at its centre, and the introvert hanging around with an exit within reach. It may not be perfect, but it’s honest. — MS

E•MO•TION

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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

MOVIES

www.ufvcascade.ca

01

02

03

Spotlight

The Hateful Eight

Mad Max: Fury Road

This is going to be tough to write around: how self-serving is it for a newspaper to say a movie about newspaper work is the best of the year? The best I can do is: this list was voted on by a pool of volunteer contributors and staff writers, some of whom don’t even read newspapers. It was (sort of) democratic. Tom McCarthy’s reconstruction of the Boston Globe’s investigation of sexual abuse within the Catholic church, clearly, has an appeal outside of those with print smudges on their wrists — possibly because of the spirit of its structure, which includes detail after detail after detail, allowing the audience to compile its own sense of the scope of what’s happening in the film’s world. McCarthy’s film does what most, including most newspapers, don’t do well: it argues for the worth of news reporting as a democratic, community-building act, and, “Silent Night” montage aside, it does so without the heroic story-beats that might be expected for an investigation this monumental. One of the things popular cinema is great at, and one of the things it has mostly left for television to depict of late, is people at work, in a specific place, using their expertise to navigate the world. Spotlight resurrects this tradition. — MS

As much as I love the biting dialogue Tarantino has made a name for himself writing, as well as the over-the-top violence which the director has also become famous for portraying on-screen, the most appealing part of Tarantino’s latest film is not the harrowingly suspenseful and violent-as-all-of-fuck second half, it’s the first half. Tarantino takes his sweet time getting to the action in this film, and quite honestly, he’s better off for it. While almost all of the film takes place in one room, we’re treated to a more effective form of plot development than visual action: dialogue.

And damn good dialogue. The fact that Tarantino manages to tell a compelling story without having to resort to sub-plots or any comedic relief is commendable as well. Perhaps more so than in any of his previous films, Tarantino uses his actors to slowly build momentum and tension up to a point where it’s almost unbearable to watch, and then lets it all come tumbling down in a grand, spectacularly violent finale that’s all the more shocking for lacking all the comedy found in Tarantino’s previous works. — MC

It’s true that Mad Max is one long car chase. But it’s probably the best car chase you’ll ever watch.

The remarkable cinematography alone makes it worthwhile; from the convoys of grimy, smoke-spewing vehicles screaming across an endless desert to the hordes of corpse-like “War Boys” scrambling into battle, every shot looks like it came straight out of the wildest comic book you’ve ever read. No wonder it’s the second-most nominated film in the Oscars this year, hot on the heels of The Revenant.

Beyond the madcap post-apocalyptic action sequences, the film’s underpinnings of female empowerment and environmentalism keep it from being too fluffy. Come for the fiery explosions, stay for the relevant social messages.

What a film! What a lovely film! — VF

07

Ex Machina It’s really easy to write an action movie about the problems of artificial intelligence. AI is too often an excuse to have robots do mean, scary things, as in I, Robot or the latest Avengers movie.

AI becomes a more interesting subject, though, when taken out of the context of an action movie and thrust into a psychological story about human consciousness. For example, 2001: A Space Odyssey was awesome. Her was awesome, too.

And yes, Alex Garland`s Ex Machina is awesome. It’s about a programmer named Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson), who`s hired to interview a robot named Ava (Alicia Vikander) to see if she has full-on artificial intelligence, but he slowly falls in love with her.

Ava`s creator, Nathan (Oscar Isaac), thinks it`s all very cute, until shit gets real.

Shit gets so real in this movie. I wish I could talk about it without spoiling anything, but it raises a million questions, not just about AI, but about humanity. What the hell is love? What the hell is freedom? Can a machine really feel anything? Can we?

— AR

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08

The Duke Of Burgundy On the surface The Duke of Burgundy is about two lesbian entomologists in a repetitive and ritualistic S&M relationship, an homage of sorts to ‘70s softcore Eurotrash. However, where those films would be voyeuristic in their depiction of such a relationship, stressing the erotic strangeness of the situation, The Duke of Burgundy cleverly does the opposite. As we become more engrossed in the world of the film, the two central characters’ world becomes normalized. Travelling under the pretense of being S&M saleswomen, this surface is stripped away to reveal a complex and nuanced metaphor for the everyday sacrifices of romantic relationships. If that isn’t enough to sell the film, there is also a hilariously deadpan discussion about toilets. — JF

09

Brooklyn Being caught between two worlds is an old trope in film and literature, but it’s rarely presented this movingly. A Nick Hornby adaptation of a Colm Tóibín novel, Brooklyn is the story of an Irish girl who immigrates to New York in the 1950s, falls in love, then finds herself being forced to choose between her roots in Ireland and her new life in America. In comparison to the dark and gritty themes that seem to dominate cinema these days, Brooklyn is refreshingly sweet: a feel-good bildungsroman that spins a tender story about not finding but choosing one’s place in the world. And just because it’s a love story doesn’t mean it lacks substance; Saoirse Ronan’s portrayal of the homesickness and heartbreak of moving to a new country has landed her a welldeserved Oscar nomination for Best Actress. — VF

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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

Contributors: Martin Castro, Valerie Franklin, Josh Friesen, Mitch Huttema, Kat Marusiak, Alex Rake, Michael Scoular, and Karen White

04

It Follows It Follows is refreshing compared to the cheap scares of mainstream horror. The score by Rich Vreeland is a throwback to John Carpenter, and is played to emphasize the bone-chilling experience and threat of what is to come. Instead of trying to get you to jump out of your seat as we are used to, director David Robert Mitchell slowly builds up the horror. This is shown by the always-present threat (a supernatural force passed from person to person after having sex) that keeps you in anxiety. Throughout the film, Mitchell directs the audience’s attention, making us scan the background looking for what or where it might be. It Follows is intense and scary as hell, the type of horror movie that makes me secure all the windows and doors of my apartment. — KW

05

Sicario A man rests at the end of a dinner table; opposite him, a drug lord sits before a modest feast. “Eat, eat!” The man gestures with his gun to the two children as they pick nervously at their food. The wife whimpers in terror as the assassin and drug lord square off in a bout of silence and stares. “Time to meet God,” the assassin whispers to the family over the sounds of their clinking cutlery.

A film about war, drugs and power, Sicario doesn’t seem to focus on the fact that its protagonist is female in any way, yet with the way the story unfolds this becomes an essential piece of the puzzle. Casting light on the rule bending of the American military (and by extension, American government) in a bid for control, this film manages to work in how much of a man’s world politics and the military has been made to be. — MH

06

The Revenant Soaked in his own blood and bound to a framework of sticks, Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) locks eyes with John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy) as he fights for his life. “You ready to take the sacrament? I can do that for you, Glass,” prods Fitzgerald as he strongarms him closer to death. Wrapped in the pelt of the grizzly that ravaged his flesh, Glass, staring madly into the eyes of Fitzgerald, rumbles indistinguishably as he chokes on his mutilated throat.

Powerless and faced with an insurmountable force, the most Glass can do is endure. As he wills himself through the seeming twilight of his life, the viewer is dragged along with him through the snow, with the solitary objective of revenge supplying the only warmth in a frozen wilderness. — MH

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Room

The Big Short

Inside Out

At the start of the film, Jack (portrayed by Jacob Tremblay), the five-year-old protagonist whose perspective the story is told from, has spent his entire life trapped in a 10-by-10-foot room. His mother (Brie Larson) has raised him to believe that the room they live in is the entire world. She does so to protect him from the fact that they are prisoners, held captive by a man who uses her as a sex slave. Dealing with subject matter that could easily tip over either to unbearable bleakness or cliché melodrama, director Lenny Abrahamson, writer Emma Donoghue, and the two excellent actors do an incredible job creating a film that feels both honest and empathetic. A number of intelligent decisions in presenting the material are made, including telling the story from Jack’s perspective, not making the captor a typical “movie villain,” and choosing to deal with the fallout of the climax, which occurs in the middle of the film. The result of these decisions is one of the rawest emotional experiences of the year, and further proof that Lenny Abrahamson (Frank and What Richard Did) is a promising director. — JF

The Big Short, directed by Adam McKay, is a substantial change from his previous films. He is known for directing comedies starring Will Ferrell (Anchorman and Talladega Nights). While some of those films are quite funny, their focus is to make you laugh and not much else. The Big Short, starring Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Brad Pitt, and Ryan Gosling, takes on a difficult subject — the American financial collapse of 2008 — and turns it into something humorous and engaging, yet sobering at the same time. The film uses Gosling as an overconfident asshole narrator, our insider into the world of banking who also exists as a character in the film. In moments where there is a need for explaining dry and boring economic terms, Gosling breaks the fourth wall by using ironic celebrity guests to explain them — presenting a tough subject in an interesting and informative way.

— KW

One of the most popular hits of the summer was Pixar’s Inside Out, an animated adventure about anthropomorphic emotions.

(Try saying that 10 times fast.) Inside 11-year-old Riley’s brain, Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Anger, and Fear guide her through her everyday experiences — but when Riley’s family moves to a new city, she’s thrown into true emotional turmoil for the first time, and Joy and Sadness have to learn to work together to save the day.

Yes, it’s melodramatic and saccharine-sweet in the way all Disney / Pixar movies are, and you probably won’t enjoy it if overemotive animation annoys you. But it also has some beautiful things to say about the nature of sadness, and how growing up means leaving certain pieces of ourselves behind.

You will laugh. You will cry. You will roll your eyes. You will have feelings, and then you will wish those feelings were anthropomorphic and lived in your skull and went on wacky adventures through your brain. (Well, maybe not.) — VF

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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

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MUSIC CONTINUED 13

14

15

Rae Sremmurd

Courtney Barnett

Joanna Newsom

SremmLife was probably the album that I had the most fun listening to this year. Backed by Mike Will’s stellar production, Aaquil “Slim Jimmy” Brown & Khalif “Swae Lee” Brown go back and forth on every song with great charisma and chemistry.

Though the music may have faded in terms of popularity in the vicious cycle of the Top 40, around its release date it was hard to get away from these guys. Dropping hit after hit, from “No Flex Zone” to “No Type” to “Throw Some Mo,” these guys could do no wrong. Seriously, if you haven’t given SremmLife a chance, join the team now. — PO

Listening to Australian singer and guitarist Courtney Barnett’s debut album is like having a good friend tell you little tales about what’s wrong with the world, or the inside of her own head, or what’s just weird. But she does it in this way that doesn’t depress you. It’s commiserative; you can almost laugh about it. The songs, which mainly feature guitar and percussion alongside Barnett’s vocals, are full of meaty digressions and often vignette-like stories. A woman with a snakeskin bag urges a young man not to leap off a building, when really it’s she who might be feeling on edge. An unathletic swimmer pushes hard to impress someone in the next lane, only to come up and find them gone. Barnett is known for her witty, deadpan delivery of smart lyrics, and her unique debut album suggests someone who sees and tells it like it is. — KS

Joanna Newsom can apparently do no wrong. Her fourth studio album, Divers, flies into your ears, pummels your brain, and leaves through your tear ducts with your heart in its hand. And you’ll like it, you filthy masochists of the spirit.

Newsom has not changed her sound too much over the last decade, besides getting more compositionally ambitious, but each album comes with its own angle on her heavy lyricism and terrifying mastery of melody and rhythm. Divers in particular is a more mature work compared to her earlier stuff; that is, where Milk-Eyed Mender was full of songs about dead family dogs and childhood infatuations, this new album deals with the subtle intensities of adult relationships (see the title track if you want to collapse with feelings), and, well, there’s also a sci-fi battle epic (“Waltz of the 101st Lightborne”).

Also, there are synths. That’s new. — AR

SremmLife

Sometimes I Sit and Think ...

MOVIES CONTINUED

Divers

13

14

15

A Pigeon Sat On A Branch Reflecting On Existence

Magic Mike XXL

Creed

“We want to help people have a good time,” state the central duo in A Pigeon Sat on a Branch... The two are travelling salesmen Jonathan and Sam, our protagonists of sorts, if protagonists indeed exist in Roy Anderson’s dreary and deeply melancholic series of vignettes. Their products: a laughing bag, a grotesque mask, and vampire teeth — fitting products for a film that is best described as a Kierkegaardian tragedy with a wry smile. The world they live in is stagnant and lifeless; the colour scheme is a mix of gloomy greens and off-whites. The sets are meticulously staged, the camera motionless, a passive observer of the human condition. Rarely in cinema do we get such a singular depiction of human existence. While the absurdly black comedy might not work for most, for existentialists with a funny bone this is not a film to miss. — JF

When Jada Pinkett Smith announced that she, along with other black artists like Spike Lee, would not be attending this year’s Academy Awards, some commentators (read: weak, historically ignorant bottom-feeders) suggested that the reason no not-white actors were nominated by the industry’s old guard was because no performance this year had merited inclusion. They didn’t see Magic Mike XXL, a generous, flashy, confident movie: what would it look like if the Step Up movies were about sex and respecting both the people that taught you how to dance and the people you dance for, it asks, before apologizing for asking and turning the volume up. Steven Soderbergh’s mobile, readyfor-anything camera and a team of expert choreographers (music cues, piles of cash, and spotlight beams playing with an audience’s impatience) fill in the blanks. — MS

That Creed, in the end, sets up a final fight like every final fight in the history of boxing movie wrap-ups (the only constant in sports movies: announcers say the obvious, every important person in the main character’s life is watching, victory horns are on stand-by) is forgivable, if only because, part-way through, the movie interrupts itself to say: remember all the great moments in this movie? And there are many. The Rocky series is a bit of an oddity — it’s long, but hasn’t exploded into opulence (though Maryse Alberti’s camera choreography has its show-stopper moments), instead sticking with a weary vision of the world. Creed keeps true to the script of the original (it’s a relationship movie), but its most compelling pro/con is the way it looks at sports families, how they repeat themselves, how this can be a kind of self-destruction. — MS

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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

BOOKS 2015

Contributors: Dessa Bayrock and Katie Stobbart

Boo by Neil Smith

Slade House by David Mitchell

Eighth-grade science nerd Oliver “Boo” Dalrymple wakes up in heaven and figures his faulty heart finally gave out. But soon the plot thickens — and Boo finds himself tracking down the mystery of his own murder. Smith’s conception of heaven is hilarious and comforting and not overly religious — Boo, after all, was an atheist before he kicked the bucket, and doesn’t necessarily intend on changing his mind now. Because the focus is not on God, or heaven, even if they provide the necessary context, the book neatly sidesteps what could easily turn into a messy metaphysical debate, letting the story of a lonely, scientific child shine through. — DB

Slade House is sort of an Easter egg, fitting into a secret pocket of the interlocking narratives of Mitchell’s previous works. All the same, it stands on its own, making it a great way to take Mitchell for a test drive if you’ve never read one of his works before. “Slade House” is a place that doesn’t quite exist, popping into reality every nine years for some strange (and macabre) purpose. What could its victims — a policeman, a college student, a New York artist, and an introverted teenager — possibly have in common? This decades-long tale strings together a web of almost impossible connections — and provides a new take on the trope of the haunted house. — DB

The First Bad Man by Miranda July

Martin John by Anakana Schofield

This is a roller coaster of a book — there’s no better way to describe it. It’s raunchy, it’s weirdly heart-warming, and the story shifts away from you as soon as you think you might have a fix on it. It’s the story of one woman’s search for happiness, although that’s not quite it. It’s the story of two mismatched and loathing roommates who turn to violence almost out of boredom. It’s the story of a soul that seems to follow the main character around, periodically reborn as babies and children she spots in grocery stores and in strollers. It’s the kind of book you’re not sure if you like, but somehow can’t put down. You’ll read it in an afternoon and force it on your roommate, who will read it in the same afternoon. It’s lovely. — DB

“Harm was done and further harm would be done.” Martin John is the kind of book that gives you shivers — that you read once, and then never again. We begin with a mysterious incident in a dentist’s office that Martin John can’t bear to speak about — and can’t stop thinking about. We view him first with sympathy, and then with horror, and finally with sympathy again, in what might be the most masterful manipulation of creepiness and compassion of the year. Anakana Schofield lands the reader square in the head of a madman — and refuses to apologize for it. — DB

Satin Island by Tom McCarthy

All True Not A Lie In It by Alix Hawley

Our protagonist is a “corporate ethnographer,” which is a way of saying he sits in the basement of an office tower, pokes his fingers into any interesting or intriguing aspect of the corporation he works for, and theoretically compiles a “Great Report.” The problem: our protagonist isn’t quite sure what the Great Report entails, or if it will even come together at all. Part of him is worried about what will happen when his high-powered boss figures out the Great Report is a myth; part of him is insistent on tracking down the meaning of skydiving accidents, garbage dumps, and oil spills. On one hand, Satin Island is a love letter to procrastination and writer’s block; on another, it’s a sharp-eyed look at the era we live in. — DB

All True Not A Lie In It is the tale of Daniel Boone — and a study in desperation, adventure, and possibility. Hawley’s prose is a punch that will send you spinning — packed as tight as a cup of brown sugar, and twice as sweet. Traditionally portrayed as the ultimate romantic pioneer figure, Hawley’s Boone is weary, frustrated, and yearning for the chance to create something new. Instead, he finds himself constantly tied down and torn by family, war, and the weight of colonial history.

The result is heart-wrenching, exhausting, and brilliant. — DB

Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

The Hunter and the Wild Girl

by Pauline Holdstock

Small-town Bone Gap is named after a mysterious space — an invisible undercurrent of lost things, a chasm at the heart of the town that seems to swallow all manner of things. It’s no surprise when Rosa disappears, and most townsfolk assume she simply left town as quickly and quietly as she appeared. Finn, on the other hand, knows there’s something darker at work. When he can’t identify her kidnapper, the local police give up on the case altogether — leaving Finn to figure it out for himself, diving deep into the gap at the heart of the town.

With echoes of Greek myths threading throughout the story, Bone Gap is magic realism at its finest — and proves that young adult fiction can be so, so much better than Twilight. — DB

Wind / Pinball by Haruki Murakami Wind / Pinball is Murakami’s first two novellas translated into English for the first time — a nostalgic return to the meandering, oddly intense style of Norwegian Wood and After Dark. It’s perfect for established Murakami fans but also an excellent starting place for new readers — a way to test the waters before stepping into his longer and more convoluted works. Perhaps best of all, Murakami introduces both works with a sentimental and revealing forward touching on writing, passion, process, and baseball. — DB

This historical novel is charged with mythos and haunted by tragedy.

A feral child almost literally flies away, a man dwells alone in a chateau with only ghosts and taxidermy tying him to life, and a band of villagers scours the wild scrubland of 19th-century France to find a wild girl. Holdstock’s storytelling is compelling and poetic. The peculiar bonds of the novel’s main characters, and the human moments shared between them, feel personal and visceral. The Hunter and the Wild Girl does exactly what a folktale should: spin a good story, and unravel human truths. — KS

Sidewalk Flowers

by Jon Arno Lawson, illustrations by Sidney Smith Although this is marketed as a children’s book, it is absolutely adultfriendly. Essentially a graphic poem, achieved through the collaboration of poet Jon Arno Lawson and illustrator Sidney Smith, Sidewalk Flowers uses a walk through the city as a way to show the value of daily gifts, the act of noticing, and the great capacity of children to recognize and share beauty. Primarily black and white illustrations are given flushes of colour to emphasize the otherwise ordinary observations made by the young protagonist on this walk with her father.

The book is bright, thoughtful, and respectful of the intelligence and intuition of its intended audience. A sweet read. — KS

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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

www.ufvcascade.ca

CULTURE & EVENTS This Week’s Results photograph: Mitch Huttema

Basketball (Home) Men’s vs UNBC Friday: (W) 63-56 Saturday: (W) 62-47 Women’s vs UNBC Friday: (L) 47-63 Saturday: (W) 83-56

Volleyball (Away) Men’s vs VIU Friday: (L) 3-0 Saturday:(L) 3-0 Women’s vs VIU Friday: (L) 3-1 Saturday: (W) 3-2

Upcoming Games Basketball (Away) (01/22) Men’s vs MacEwan (01/22) Women’s vs MacEwan

Volleyball (Home) (01/30) Men’s vs COTR (01/30) Women’s vs COTR

January 21 A Terrible Beauty: Edward Burtynsky in Dialogue with Emily Carr - The Reach

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21 Shoalwan: River Through Fire, River of Ice The Reach

21 Evening of Suppressed Poetry: Histories: With A talk with Ammiel Ammiel Alcalay and Alcalay Steve Collins B101 - Abbotsford 4 p.m.

Campus

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Oh Village Ocris release party and documentary screening Columbia Bible College

23 Malk, Cheap High, Queen Bee & The Buzzkills, Blessed, and Dodgers The Kremlin

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24 Hypothermic Half Marathon

2016 Motorcycle Show 1190 Cornell Street

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Reading with Jen Fooksong Jen Lee, Writer Sookfong Lee, in writer-inResidence: Reading residence - SUB, Abbotsford The SUB 12:00 p.m.

Campus

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Syrian newcomer resettlement forum Matqsui Centennial Auditorium

26 Terrorism forum The Great Hall, SUB, Abbotsford campus

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

STUDY BREAK Crossword

1

Bye bye, Bowie 2

Across 1. This week, we salute the Rise and Fall of ...

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2. Bowie’s star sign. Note: It’s a goat.

3. “Ground control to Major Tom. Whoops, I can’t fly.”

4. The haunting tune of a saint.

4

5

6. The man who sold the world (again).

8. When Ziggy smoked ciggys, then how many a day did he? (Clue: it’s a biggie!)

9. Baby Bowie.

6

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10. Born in Suffragette City.

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11. Number 25.

Down

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1. Fashion fun. Bowie as himself.

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2. He turned down a role to focus on his “arrrrrrrrrrt.”

4. A-maze-ing movie.

5. His locker buddy in school.

7. We might miss him on Earth, but we wish him a sweet eternal.

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Horoscopes Aries

EclipseCrossword.com

Star Signs by Sybil la Clair

Mar 21 - Apr 19

If you believe in karma, do great things this week and great things will come to you. If you don’t believe in karma, carry on as usual.

Taurus Apr 20 - May 20

Leo

Jul 23 - Aug 22

If you dream about beads cascading down onto the floor from a string, it’s time to get a new hobby.

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

free shoes in the wrong size.

The moon’s going to get a little antsy this week. Beware of lakes, swimming pools, or glasses of water.

Gemini May 21 - Jun 20

Libra

A wristlet is not a purse, leggings are not pants, and your Shakespeare class is not in the kinesiology department.

If you’re confused about whether to wear rain boots or a bathing suit, check the weather report, not your horoscope.

The stars think they’re above that sort of thing.

This week will be cloudy with a chance of

Sep 23 - Oct 22

Cancer Jun 21 - Jul 22 Scorpio Oct 23 - Nov 21

altering truth, but unfortunately it’ll talk

There is a good chance that you will not find a parking spot this week.

SPACED

Nov 22 - Dec 21

Reach for the stars, but make sure you’re in the front row first.

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

If you hear the chitter-chatter of a firstyear group project in the library, hit the stacks upstairs. The grumble-groaning of third-years will suit your mood this week.

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

If you run into Amy Schumer this week, try not to mention atlases, Pangea, or Columbus.

Pisces

A turtle will want to whisper you a lifeto your evil doppelgänger instead.

Sagittarius

Feb 19 - Mar 20

This is your week to stand out! If you attend a glow-in-the-dark yoga class, make sure to wear neon pants.

BY ANTHONY BIONDI

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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

www.ufvcascade.ca

CULTURE & EVENTS Abby artists explore the creative spectrum MITCH HUTTEMA

THE CASCADE

On Thursday, January 16, the Abbotsford Arts Council presented the gallery opening of their latest exhibit, Painted Light, at the Kariton Art Gallery. The show features artists such as Janelle Fitz, Katherine Binns,

photograph: Mitch Huttema

How to survive this whole student thing Four tips to stay healthy and not go crazy EKANKI CHAWLA CONTRIBUTOR

It is only the second week of school and the coffee sales at the UFV Tim Hortons have already steeply increased. Things are only going to get worse from here on. Your classes will get notably emptier as students start to skip them to finish upcoming papers, your pants will no longer fit you quite right, and it will take you an excessive amount of time to find a seat in the stacks. All while you continue to drown in schoolwork.

However, there is still time to learn. It’s the little things that add up to make a difference, so here are some simple tips and tricks.

Exercise It’s great for getting your heart pumping.

Not only does it make you healthier and more energetic, but the blood pumping to your brain helps you focus more and do a lot better in university. Exercise is great for improving memory and lifting your mood by releasing endorphins. Ideally, you should start every single morning with some exercise. As busy students, though, it may seem like there are more important things to do than getting fit, but 15 minutes is really not a lot of time. If you wake up 15 minutes earlier than usual and do a quick workout at home your day will go a lot better than usual. There are numerous free apps like 7 Minute Workout and Sworkit which do a good job of getting your heart rate up in just a short amount of time — ideal for students like you and I. SLEEP Don’t underestimate the value of it.

Always aim for at least seven hours of sleep.

It is absolutely crucial for your health. Not

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getting the recommended seven hours leads to impairment in your cognitive and decisionmaking skills. In addition, it also dramatically increases your chances of common injuries and weakens your immune system, making you much more likely to catch that nasty bug going around.

Socialize Talk to the people you sit next to in your classes, because social support is vital for mental health. It can be uplifting to learn that your neighbour is just as confused as you are. Also important: the two of you can work together on solving problems for assignments and projects.

Your peers can help you strengthen good study habits, so branch out. Try to make a friend in every class. Connecting with other students and making valuable friendships can help you so much by relieving your stress and easing feelings of loneliness. Having a social life can prove to be a stepping stone to good health.

Spend time outside in the sun Take a break and go for a walk outside with your friends between classes. Plan a picnic with them. As students in the winter semester, the idea of bundling up under some blankets in the comfort of a heater at home sounds quite pleasing. However, it is very vital for you to get your daily dose of vitamin D from sunlight.

The vitamin, manufactured in our bodies only upon the absorption of sunlight, is necessary for normal growth and development of bones, as well as improving our resistance against certain diseases. So don’t forget to go outside and get some sun and fresh air.

These four tips are your key to a successful semester. Follow them all, and you are guaranteed a healthier sense of self. Good luck for this semester — make it a good one!

Andrew Hibbs, and Dana Mooney.

All of the artists are local to the Fraser Valley, with Fitz being a UFV bachelor of fine arts alumnus. The themes within the show range from music to romance, all tied together through their use of light in some form or another. This exhibition will be on display at the Kariton until February 9.

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

CULTURE & EVENTS Students dance night away at “masquerade ball” RACHEL TAIT

CONTRIBUTOR

It is a few minutes past seven, and the earlybird arrivals are shuff ling around the entrance, stopping now and then to sit at round tables while they wait impatiently for the doors of the Student Union Building’s (SUB) Great Hall to open. It is Friday, January 15 — the evening of UFV’s first masquerade ball, hosted by a multitude of clubs: the Why So Serious? club, Arab club, Hip Hop Dance club, Circle K, and Oxfam.

Speaking to a few attendees, there were mixed feelings on what to expect for the evening.

Some were confident that the ball would be a success; others were unsure, but still eager to experience it. As more party-goers arrived, the magic of the masquerade gave ordinary university students an air of beautifully-attired mystique. Women wore a mix of cocktail dresses and f loor-length ball gowns. Most men opted for the traditional tuxedo, though some wore more vibrant colours. Masks of every shape and form graced the faces of all who attended.

And then the doors opened.

Flashes of light could be seen through the high windows as the party-goers disappeared into the darkened hall. It was like being transported into another world as lights f lickered around the room, the DJ confidently mixing away, the f loor littered with guests ready for some fun. On one side of the room were tables set up with pizza, samosas, chips, Cheetos, drinks, and so on. A photo booth for selfies was also set up, with a table that had strange-looking glasses and accessories for the photo shoot. A great big teddy bear guarded the photo booth, courtesy of Oxfam.

The mood was infectious, and as a few brave souls began to dance to the beat, one gentleman in particular was setting the stage for the group, wearing a silver mask, deep-blue shirt, and a dark vest. His energy was commendable,

and he seemed to f ly higher and higher into the air as he danced enthusiastically around the room. A beautifully dressed woman who resembled Cinderella with her royal-blue ball gown and feathered, white mask joined him centre stage — soon, more people decided to join in the fun.

After a while, a highly anticipated f lash mob led by the Hip Hop Dance club took over, first mingling in the crowd as ordinary dancers, then proving their skill by strutting their stuff, awing the audience, and putting on a fantastic performance for their first real showing at an event. This garnered the much-needed energy and enthusiasm to keep the party going well into the night.

As the night wore on, several more attendees arrived fashionably late, making grand entrances into the Great Hall and dancing to the beat of the music. Taking a break from the festivities, several of the party-goers relaxed outside and upstairs in the Canoe. One lady in particular was very happy. “I love how everyone is having a good time,” she said. “I transferred from a college, and [it’s great] just seeing everyone being so happy ... and the chocolate fountain was pretty amazing too!”

At around nine, the Hip Hop club once again took centre stage and preformed another number f lawlessly — the most anticipated event of the night. Well coordinated and intense, it wasn’t hard to see why these dancers were one of the biggest successes of an already successful night. Their energy rubbed off on the crowd, and yet again the party-goers danced as one on the packed dance f loor.

The party continued until the exhausted but elated guests left for home. When asked earlier that day what she hoped the event would give UFV’s students, the masquerade’s lead organizer, Mithat Singh, gave this response: “We want to start off the new semester with a bash … just for people to have a good time, have fun, and dance the night away!” And the guests did precisely that.

photographs: Glen Ess

Winter U-Join: it could have been better GLEN ESS THE CASCADE

At the beginning of semester — as part of the Student Union Society’s weeks of welcoming — students both new and old can meet, and learn more about student clubs and associations and how to sign up for them at the U-Join.

However, the Winter 2016 edition of U-Join was more than a little lackluster.

Held in the Great Hall of the Student Union Building once again, this U-Join (which ran from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesday, January 12) was the opposite of the fall one; in September, the Great Hall was packed for most of the event.

This time around, it was a cavernous, empty maw. Where so many clubs reported a long list of new sign ups and interested students last fall, last Tuesday was notable only in that the event was so poorly attended that several clubs packed their information tables up and left early. Some, in

fact, didn’t even show up.

While students did pop in and express interest in getting involved in their student community outside of the classroom, the turnout was remarkably (or maybe not so remarkably) low. It’s understandable that the winter U-Join wouldn’t be as successful as it’s autumnal predecessor. After all, the weather’s turned for the worse, it’s colder, days are short, and students are still recovering from their holiday excesses, slowly turning back towards the hard-nosed life of academia. Whereas the beginning of the fall semester is generally full of students eager and ready to dive into the school year with aplomb, the winter one is far more ominous and stressful; this is the time of year that school is seen as something that you just want to get through, to be finished with.

Even so, it would have been nice to see some more students come out and enjoy themselves. Actually, it would have been nice to see some more clubs come out and enjoy themselves, too. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for

several reasons, ranging from a lack of prep time following the holidays, to not being able to plan or schedule a team to run the table.

Those clubs and associations that did attend, however, put on a good showing. E-Sports Valley had Rock Band and Super Smash Bros. available for play, CIVL radio blared some sweet tunes in the corner, and the pen and paper tabletop club showed just how fun card and board games can be (and how nice it can be to take a break from a lifestyle revolving around technology). These groups, plus many others that were present, made the event enjoyable.

But even though the clubs and associations that did attend were clearly putting thought and effort into ensuring they could promote themselves and attract students to engage with them and one another outside of their studies, it could have been better.

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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

www.ufvcascade.ca

CULTURE & EVENTS photograph: Mitch Huttema

Yoga club throws yoga rave RAYNAH MCIVOR CONTRIBUTOR

Yoga is a practice most commonly associated with meditation and relaxation; however, the UFV yoga club proved that it can also be exciting. They brought out funky lights, glow-in-thedark paints, and rave music for their glow-in-the-dark yoga session in the SUB’s great hall Thursday. With over 70 students attending, including both experienced yoga goers and some who were completely new, the event was both enjoyable and exhilarating to the extreme.

Before starting the yoga session, some helpful arts students offered to paint the attendees in various patterns with glow-in-the-dark paints, which would go on to add another spectacle once the lights dimmed and the trippy, psychedelic video on the projector screen switched on.

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The yoga instructor, Erika Arnold, created an energetic session by encouraging everyone not to be so serious, and repeatedly reminded everyone to just relax and “dance it out,” ensuring that the mood was breezy and the crowd members were bubbly. The paint and glow-stick jewelry created cool designs as people transitioned between poses.

A highlight was when students supported each other’s raised legs while standing in rows, in a sort of yoga version of “Ring Around the Rosie.” After the yoga session wrapped up and the muscles which had been stretched taut by the evening were relaxed and recuperating, a raff le was held for a Canoe gift card, yoga passes, and an iPod shuff le, finishing off an entertaining evening that had seen the best aspects of yoga and a rave merged into one intense event.

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016

ARTS IN REVIEW ALBUM REVIEW

Shuffle AARON LEVY

CIVL STATION MANAGER

The only thing worth talking about this week is David Bowie’s recent passing.

And the only thing we can do to make us all feel better is pray that he did indeed reprise his role as himself in a fashion model walk-off from Zoolander when the film’s star-studded sequel is released. Fortunately, if he doesn’t appear, which it looks like he won’t, at least we can all blame the film’s failure on its failing to include him in it. Long live the real king of rock and roll, and possibly the only man to sleep with both Iggy Pop and Mick Jagger (unconfirmed).

CHARTS 01

Teen Daze Morning World

02

Derrival Departure & Arrival

03

David Bowie Blackstar

04

Rufus Du Sol Bloom

05

The Sylvia Platters Make Glad the Day

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Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings It’s a Holiday Soul Party

David Bowie “Modern Love” The number one David Bowie song, in my estimation, of all time, this song tells us exactly what we should expect from life as young, American, and romantic churchgoers — which, of course, each and every one of us are.

In all seriousness though, I absolutely love this song, on time.

David Bowie “I’m Afraid of Americans” In 1995, if you told me the classiest, most memorable, and most wellput-together underground crossover dance hit of the next five years would be a collaboration between Nine Inch Nails and David Bowie, I would’ve said, “When did the ***Labyrinth guy start making records?” And then I’d have been 10.

David Bowie “All The Young Dudes” Far more catchy and rappy than “A Day in the Life,” this collaboration with Ian Hunter is a key historical song about carrying the news, unparalleled in its proliferation of both the term “dude,” as well as having predated Vitamin C’s “Graduation Song” in tunes with the same cadence and rhythm.

Soulwax “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” Among my favourite remixes ever, Soulwax updates this classic Stones track for the Kevin Spacey film 21, a different film altogether from Casino Jack, also starring Spacey. It’s a funky little number that utilizes quick samples and swells of 1960s musicianship to really flesh out a great banger.

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Motorhead Bad Magic

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Nylithia Hyperthrash

09

Grimes Art Angels

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YACHT I Thought the Future Would Be Cooler El Vy Return to the Moon

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Majical Cloudz Are You Alone?

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Run With the Kittens Casio Glue Bomb

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Tales of the Tomb Volume One: Morpras

15

New Order Music Complete

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Bear Mountain Hopeful (single)

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Iron Maiden The Book of Souls

So you’ve never listened to Bowie: a retrospective ALEX RAKE THE CASCADE

So you’ve never really listened to David Bowie.

Now he’s dead and everybody thinks it’s pretty weird that you aren’t sad. You feel out of the loop, but unashamed, like an alien on your own planet.

Incidentally, you feel a lot like David Bowie.

But if you do want to understand what all the fuss has been about for the last half-century, take a gander at Bowie’s essential discography.

Space Oddity / The Man Who Sold the World Bowie’s earlier albums are a wonderful mess of acoustic and electric instruments slapped with all kinds of studio effects. The songs are long and noodly, and the lyrics are often impenetrable. Where another artist might sound like an idiot trying to manage all these components, Bowie manages to uncover the human significance under his obsessions with space travel and Nietzsche.

Hunky Dory / The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars / Aladdin Sane You can say you never “listened to Bowie,” but you’ve probably heard every last one of these songs at some point. Here, Bowie hits the heights the previous albums had only been attempting. Embracing personae such as Ziggy Stardust and Aladdin Sane, he sings about everything from the dawn of the Homo superior to failed actors becoming sex workers. He emulates everything from Bond-movie ballads to Velvet Underground rockers. He engages the listener with poppy choruses and experimental piano solos. Whether their strangeness appeals to you or not, these albums will blow your face off with how well-constructed and addictive they are.

Station to Station Bowie was so strung-out in this period that he doesn’t even remember making this album. Consider

that as you listen to the cold funkiness of “Golden Years” or the full-hearted, empty-handed wailing on “Word on a Wing.” Imagine performing spiritbreaking songs like these with no awareness that you’re doing it. There’s something about being on the lower rungs of your life that allows you to express exactly what’s going on in your soul, and Station to Station is a testament to this.

Low / “Heroes” / Lodger The Berlin Trilogy, in which David Bowie stops limiting himself to pop music and develops a sad, spooky electronic sound with his pal, Brian Eno. In Low, Bowie asks the question: “Do you wonder sometimes about sound and vision?” Listen, and you will see what he means. This period of Bowie’s discography is characterized by how visceral the sound is. It turns you into a synesthesiac; you will see how the music’s working, you will taste the rhythms, you will smell Bowie’s breath as he chants about fucking up his life. The music becomes you, and you become the music.

Scary Monsters and Super Creeps / Let’s Dance Though these 1980s albums are very different, they are both responsible for taking Bowie from critics’ pet to international superstar. For example, your dad has one of these in his old record collection, even if he never was a fan. And though these albums are way more accessible than the Berlin Trilogy, they do not compromise the integrity of Bowie’s subversive strangeness. The first track of Scary Monsters features some Japanese spoken word, and Let’s Dance is definitely danceable, but it has “China Girl” on it, and that song will fuck you up.

Best enjoyed as a pair.

Blackstar This is the recent one. All the songs are giants.

Bowie knew he was dying when he recorded it. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know, you’re already lost. It’s weird that you aren’t sad.

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photograph: Mitch Huttema