The Cascade Volume 4 Issue 2 1996-09-26

Vol. 4 No. 2/Sept

26, 1996

T.UI

In This Issue:

News - Page 2 to 4 Sports- Pages 11 Opinion- Pages 5 to 7 Editorial- Page 10 Entertainment- Page 9

The New World Order Page4 This Issue's Sign That There Is A Conspiracy Among Us -Page 7 The University College of the Fraser Valley Student Newspaper

THE LEFT-WING FULL BIASED STUDY:

Chronicles of a Luke-w-armWar It took five dead crackheads to break the cover of concealment. What will the effects be on an Anglo-centric church driven community? Fear and finger-pointing are the most likely candidates. These degenerate impulses towards social problems worked wonderfully in Medieval times. See evil, stone '.;Vil,then bum evil in the town square. Yet, no matter how much some deny the inevitability of change, these methods of policing do not work in modem . tirnes (cast a stone at a crackdealer and they will retaliate with a semi-automatic weapon).

It's a shame that a community with so much potential Americanizes itself a little more everyday by letting social problems become media circuses, destined to die gradually as the taxpaying public looses interest with the media coverage. "Joe Popculture" doesn't know shit unless someone responsible tells him. Nobody recognizes that what we don't know can hurt us.

32857 Han-is Rd. is not Abbotsford's drug prob lam. It is a fuse to a problem which was lit with a demonic, cracked-out slash of a throat. Yes one of the leading distributors of crack in the area is dead, but the ensuing turf wars to attain control of the trade have the potential to multiply the carnage exponentially.

Our innocence went out like last year. We must deal with it with clear unbiased thought. Charm a cobra until you can't see, but don't look for sympathy when it bites you through pure instinct.

"While investigators set about gathering clues in a multiple slaying at 32857 Han-is Rd., the cattle seemed oblivious.

They were more concerned with

finding something to eat."

several in line to take his place.

It's pure capitalism, systematiTerry Gray, Abbotsford Times cally concealed from the eyes of Reporter the people with the ability to Crack, a concentrated vermake change, the people subsion of Cocaine with astronomi- jected to the mental cal addiction properties, has masterbation of our local medifound a home in the supposed! y ums. This fact makes it the most tranquil streets of Abbotsford. It dangerous social beast since is a high powered narcotic Ronald Reagan. Instead of inhaled through pipes. The carrying brief cases and laptops, danger of the drug is the process involvement in the crack induswhich users attain their "high". try requires guns and knives.

After the freebased substance is Where do the citizens tum when smoked the user will feel the the criminals are as armed and effects for mere minutes. When organized as the police force? the intoxication ceases the user It's a q 1 :stion that band-wagon

Yet the real criminal he'll never see.

They don't have pagers or cars that bounce, They're working at the border, kickbacks for the ounce, The drugs in the urban aren't a local industry, Brought to this land through indoctrinated trickery, Now Cali's calling Clinton cause the deals gone sour, Who's got the House? Who's got the power?

It's imported legally, sold illegally, Pushing poison to the masses, -,<I.,; another dope selling "G".

"Crack, a concentrated version of cocaine Another dead adict, another statistic, with astronomical addiction properties, has Blind eyes tum away, label found a home in the supposedly tranquil thinkers pessimistic.

After Watts erupted back in '65, streets of Abbotsford."

They brought in the 'caine and stin-ed the hive. feels lifeless, as compared to the jumping legislators won't anchemical based euphoria felt swer. Words are words, paper is Now it's '96 and the world is watching, during the "high" period. This paper, drugs are drugs. ExpectThe drug trade is booming, it's feeling of physical letdown ing them to take care of each not stopping, quickly turns to desperation and other is ignorant and will only an intense longing for more of further de-evolutionize the inner Bush you're past your prime so I shouldn't be slamming ya' the drug. The scary part is, this cities. It scares me that the But your war on drugs was feeling is not reserved for expe- people who are supposed to really war on Panama. rienced users. First time smokeradicate this de-evolution I know Noriega was your boy, ers setting out for a one-time couldn't deal with evolution in until he had to retoy, night of experimenting are the first place. Full legalization quickly turned to scavengers, of drugs sounds imprudent, but I With the plot, he had the crop but you had the cash, feverishly looking to attain the ask you what is worse; a Noriega's independence, Bush's "high" once more. crackhead, or a crackhead with rash.

In terms of drug abuse, a gun trying to protect their Back to the U.S.A. where the desperation is a double-edged paranoid, illegal lifestyle? shit started popping in the first sword wielded by unpredictable The Lukewarm War Part II psychosis. The user, desperate (The Poetic Chomsky Remix) place!

Quote of the Bi-weekly to find another "high," could see As I open up the blinds and "I never sleep, cause sleep is crime as an option. The dealer, gaze at reality, the cousin of death." desperate to maintain the busiI see the propoganda blanket as ness that is making him rich, a travesty, Nas Escobar MUST see no option to the Who you thought was your Special thanks to "Hooked pugalistic lifestyle that goes savior is in it for the money, with drug-trafficking. A crack Educated wealth with corporate on Chronic" for educating me as to where these crack serpents dealer must live with the knowl- cunnmg. edge that if he slips up there are Laying an egg to fry on T.V., centralize themselves.

By Len Catling

A2 The Cascade

Volume 4 Issue No. 2

News__;;______________________________________________________ ~~

NEW COURSEWILL FOCUSON WILDERNESS EDUCATION AND OUTDOOR LEADERSHIP With more and more people getting back to nature and enjoying outdoor activities here in the Fraser Valley, issues of environmental and human safety have become increasingly important.

Whether you enjoy hiking, camping, kayaking, or backpacking into the wilderness it's important to learn how to protect yourselfand the areas you venture into.

The University College of the Fraser Valley is offering a course this fall called Wilderness Education and Outdoor Leadership, which will help you enjoy the

outdoors more while causing less harm to the environment.

The course, which will begin on September 24, will run Tuesday evenings from 7 to 9:30 p.m. at the UCFV Mission campus at Heritage Park Centre and will include two optional field trips, one an overnight campout and the other to be determined by the class once in session. The fee is $160, which includes the overnight camping trip.

Instructor Paul Radchenko combines an avid interest in the outdoors with a concern for environmental ethics which will

be the focuus for the course.

"I love the outdoors and I love teaching others about the outdoors," says Radchenko, a physed teacher at the Heritage Park secondary school and facilitator of the outdoor club. He's currently working on a master's program at UBC in Outdoor and Environmental Education.

We can't just charge into the wilderness without consideration for the consequences of our being there. My focus is always on keeping the impact on the environment to a minimum.

It's also important to learn

safety in the outdoors. I'll introduce participants to skills necessary for safe, enjoyable, outdoor pursuits; skills that will last a lifetime and which they will hopefully pass on to others.

"There will be a strong emphasis on the leadership component. Participants will learn and practice teaching techniques and gain skills that could prove invaluable if employed by an adventure education organization.

There are 9000 such organizations in North America. With tourism booming in B.C., there could well be job oppurtunities for people with this kind of training."

MAKING SENSE OF POLITICS ....

By Paul Becker OnSeptember 17, 1996 the

term, in regards to the overall University College of the Fraser approach to politics that Dr. Valley's History Department in Faucheux dissected. We live in a cooperation with the Political new age; an entertainment age Science Department hosted Dr. where the soundbyte sways votes Ron Faucheux, from the School of as opposed to logical arguments Political Management in Washbased on (can you imagine) facts. ington, D.C., and publisher /editor He warned that technology was of a continent-wide, non-partisan definitely having a negative effect magazine entitled Campaigns and as it made politics into entertainElections. Brought in on the ment (similar to the OJ murr' intiative of the U.S. Consulate and trial).

Political campaigning in the the History department, Dr. American politics is the most Faucheux' s lecture was entitled obvious image we, as Canadians, "Making Sense Of The US Elechave in mind when discussing tions: The Candidates, Their elections. As we have all invariStrategies, The Trends, The Isably caught the occasional cam~ sues."

Dr. Faucheux discussed how paign commercial in which Govemal Candidate Luke "the ancient art of politics has Skywalker (yes, a sample name) been translated onto the modem slams Governor Darth Vader's stage". Stage being an accurate

policies and/or actions.

Dr. Faucheux argued that negative attacks on opponent's campaigns are perfectly acceptable provided they are accurate, fair and on the level; "negative attacks are a method of revealing the truth".

Dr. Faucheux broke down the American electorate in 3 categories for all in attendance.

Actually, I'm being cynical about the matter; he did qualify his lecture with a "generally speaking you are going to find that..." So, to report his findings it became evident that US voters vote along issue-lines as opposed to overall ideological matters. An interesting point Dr. Faucheux brought up was the fact that 1/3 of the voters in America are independent which does not neccessarily mean any-

thing by itself but this 'indie' class is often the "President-maker" group. Hence, a lot of political scheming is aimed at securing some of these votes. The Dr. even went so far as to say Colin Powell could have been the first independent (not to mention AfricanAmerican) President.

Overall, I immensely enjoyed the lecture and found the analysis extremely enlightening. I would like to personally thank the History department for setting up the event. Thanks also to the Political Science Department, the U.S. Consulate and finally Dr. Faucheux. Anyone interested in reading some of the Dr.'s writings can contact the History department. His stuff is definitely worth reading for insight.

Could it be true?

Dwarf

arrested

for keeping

17 girls as sex slaves!

GRANADA, Spain - Police have arrested 2foot, 3-inch dwarf Alfonso Madura and charged him with multiple sex crimes after investigations revealed he was keeping a harem of 17 sex slaves!

The girls, ranging in age from 12 to 23, were mesmerized by the carnival performers hypnotic powers, police said. @

The Cascade ;

i-

,,,tr4_

Your Student Paper

World News INC

The Cascade

Sept 26, 1996 A3

-----=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=---News

GRABBING THE 'BULL' BY ITS HORNS B Steve Tait I spoke with Terry Cox (the director of computing technology services here at UCFV) concerning the less than functional status of the Macintosh computers that are in the First Heritage Computer Access Center. He was very affable and accommodating, which I greatly appreciated. It seems that there is a wave of concern hovering over the heads of some of the students on campus because the Macintosh computers in the lab have an unfortunate lack of software. This lack of software obviously means that the hardware is virtually useless and the computers sit up in the lab with one primary function: providing the ability for students to create Internet accounts. Terry Cox provided for me, and for you, gracious reader, some explanations as to why the "Macs" are not up running and fully functional yet.

But first, Terry had some minor concerns of his own. Written in the "Cascade Report Card" (Sept 9, 1996) was that there is a concern because the Access Centre was "refusing to share the software with other UCFV groups ...and hiding behind bureaucratic legalities." Terry pointed out that the software cannot be shared because, obviously, he has not yet received it from his supplier. How can he share with other groups that which he does not have? Sec-

ondly, because of the licencing agreement with the software companies it is not legally permissible for them to do so. They are constricted by a legally binding contract that will not permit other groups to enjoy their software. It is unfortunate but true nonetheless.

Another point of contention.

When Dougla,s Bull (author of "Big Mac Attack", The Cascade Week 9, 1996, A4) tried to speak with someone from Terry Cox's office there was "no one available to answer any questions" (The Cascade Week 9, 1996, A4). This is simply not true. Terry Cox, with the vehemence of a linebacker, emphatically denied being aware that Douglas Bull even attempted to speak to him.

In fact, Terry maintained earnestly that he actually invited Douglas Bull to his office to discuss the matter. At no time did Douglas make the effort to go and see Terry Cox who was more than willing to provide Mr. Bull with the answers to the questions he so diligently sought. Douglas "Bull" indeed. An ironic last name considering his apparent attempt to speak to Terry Cox's office.

Mr. Bull also wondered, in his article, if the money was dona~..., ...

by First Heritage did it mean that they got to dictate what type of equipment was to be purchased.

Well, Mr. Bull, you asked and I feel compelled to find out the

answers for you. Terry Cox in all his magnaminious glory provided for me the details of the funding agreement between First Heritage and the Access Centre. First Heritage Credit Union donated three hundred thousand dollars with the following stipulations.

The school is to receive seventyfive thousand dollars per year.

This is to last for four years.

There we have our three hundred thousand-dollar total. The funding started in nineteen ninety five and will continue until nineteen ninety nine. At no time did Terry Cos mention that First Heritage was to play any part in how the money was to be spent.

In terms of what we are all anxious to know, next follow the reasons that Terry Cox gave to me as to why the "Macs" are in an unfortunate positions of stasis.

"Novell", the network used in the Access Centre, unfortunately, is not easily connected to the "Macs". The "Macs" are not as easily connected to it as are the Pentiums. This raises the question in my mind, why buy a product that is not easily compatible to the already existing network? There is also the cliche .•• al there is a mix-up with Luc supplier who Terry has ordered the software from. That is not to say that there does not exist a mix-up, but it does seem like somewhat of a stock answer. The third and last complication adding

to the inert "Macs" is that printing from the "Macs" to the printer system already set up for the Pentiums is apparently not easily done. However, in amongst all this excuse filled banter lies some very good news indeed. Terry Cox has spoken to the supplier and the tentative date he should be receiving the basic software (spreadsheets, word processing)is Friday September 20. Once the basic software is installed, they will be getting more specialized software as money permits.

Our good friend Douglas Bull ends his compelling and gripping article by saying, "get them ...software ...and maybe even an apology for taking sooo bloody long" (The Cascade, Week 9, 1996 A4). Well, hopefully to your. satisfaction Mr. Bull our resident "Mac-daddy", Terry Cox told me that there is indeed "no excuse, I apologize". Hopefully our "Macs" are up and running as soon as is humanly possible so everyone who cares to can learn and enjoy them to their fullest potential. Oh, and by the way Douggie , in the last sentence of your first paragraph you write, "one would be hard pressed to find it [Acces Centre] less than half full on even it's slowest day" (The Cascade, Week 9, 1996, A4).

Just so you know, your sentence shoud read, one would be hard pressed to find it less than half full on even its slowest day.

English 101 Doug, English 101.

I NOMINATEDAVID SUZUKI FOR ENVIRONMENTAL MINISTER eresa

am el

In terms of environmental initiatives, there has been weak, if any, financial backing despite the inspiration and promises doled out by political parties. Secondly, there is no strong environmental leadership within office, only too many unenlightened (or uninterested) politicians spouting illogical arguments. For example, our current environmental minister claimed that while cars are still the largest polluters in the valley, lawnmower emissions are the next enemy.

Besides the fact that lawnmowers produce a fraction of the pollutants cars do, he has mischievously shifted responsibility from the government back to the citizen. It is the government's responsibility to creat viable alternatives to cars. So it is utterly

shameful to put the blame back on the citizen, on lawnmowers of all things. What's next? Our public transit system needs to be extended, there needs to be commuter services between Abbotsford and Vancouver and when new roads are built, plans for bicycle lanes should be mandatory. How can one "go green" when it is so misguided? Not to mention, frustrating and expensive. Let's "Air Care" those pesky lawnmowers while I drive my car each day back and forth from Aldergrove because there is no comprehensive bus system.

Let's look at another misguided regulation: On the endless journey from Aldergrove, I always see cyclists repeatedly risking their lives on the road.

SCREEECH!! Look at the car

swerve and just miss him. Oh No!! Another driver on his cellular phone .....

Aww folks, Joe Cyclist's head just got bashed in. He should have worn his helmet. Now, Joe don't rag on the government claiming they are too greedy and/or lazy to build adjacent bike lanes. You ought to prevent the injuries incurred by motorists no matter how inattentive and callous some are. Joe, don't be silly, the government can't give priority to both motorists and cyclists. Why should the government be responsible for making both motorists and cyclists safe by adding seperate lanes? Surely you and your little cyclist community can squeeze yourselves within already over-crowded streets. And pay your fine, damni t.

And so after weeks of protest, Joe pays his fine dutifully.

He was told to get his hair cut, buy a helmet and find a real cause. The next year, traffic congestion got worse and under the law, Joe now has to wear shin pads and at least one wristband.

The fine has been increased about two or three times already. It was also "recommended" that those breathing outside in high traffic areas should wear a gas mask to reduce respiratory problems. Joe thought he would be safer if he bought a car, a super-special car because it would be "Air-Cared ."

But Joe knows that next year there will be more little problems, and so new and improved laws, fresh, shiny, ultra-policies disguising the real issues that our government are supposed to address.

The Cascade

Sept 26, 1996 A3

;.__ __________________________________________________________ News

GRABBING fflE 'BULL' BY ITS HORNS B Steve Tait I spoke with Terry Cox (the director of computing technology services here at UCFV) concerning the less than functional status of the Macintosh computers that are in the First Heritage Computer Access Center. He was very affable and accommodating, which I greatly appreciated. It seems that there is a wave of concern hovering over the heads of some of the students on campus because the Macintosh computers in the lab have an unfortunate lack of software. This lack of software obviously means that the hardware is virtually useless and the computers sit up in the lab with one primary function: providing the ability for students to create Internet accounts. Terry Cox provided for me, and for you, gracious reader, some explanations as to why the "Macs" are not up running and fully functional yet.

But first, Terry had some minor concerns of his own. Written in the "Cascade Report Card" (Sept 9, 1996) was that there is a concern because the Access Centre was "refusing to share the software with other UCFV groups ...and hiding behind bureaucratic legalities." Terry pointed out that the software cannot be shared because, obviously, he has not yet received it from his supplier. How can he share with other groups that which he does not have? Sec-

ondly, because of the licencing agreement with the software companies it is not legally permissible for them to do so. They are constricted by a legally binding contract that will not permit other groups to enjoy their software. It is unfortunate but true nonetheless.

Another point of contention.

When Dougla,s Bull (author of "Big Mac Attack", The Cascade Week 9, 1996, A4) tried to speak with someone from Terry Cox's office there was "no one available to answer any questions" (The Cascade Week 9, 1996, A4). This is simply not true. Terry Cox, with the vehemence of a linebacker, emphatically denied being aware that Douglas Bull even attempted to speak to him.

In fact, Terry maintained earnestly that he actually invited Douglas Bull to his office to discuss the matter. At no time did Douglas make the effort to go and see Terry Cox who was more than willing to provide Mr. Bull with the answers to the questions he so diligently sought. Douglas "Bull" indeed. An ironic last name considering his apparent attempt to speak to Terry Cox's office.

Mr. Bull also wondered, in his article, if the money was dona~..,--by First Heritage did it mean that they got to dictate what type of equipment was to be purchased.

Well, Mr. Bull, you asked and I feel compelled to find out the

answers for you. Terry Cox in all his magnaminious glory provided for me the details of the funding agreement between First Heritage and the Access Centre. First Heritage Credit Union donated three hundred thousand dollars with the following stipulations.

The school is to receive seventyfive thousand dollars per year.

This is to last for four years.

There we have our three hundred thousand-dollar total. The funding started in nineteen ninety five and will continue until nineteen ninety nine. At no time did Terry Cos mention that First Heritage was to play any part in how the money was to be spent.

In terms of what we are all anxious to know, next follow the reasons that Terry Cox gave to me as to why the "Macs" are in an unfortunate positions of stasis.

"Novell", the network used in the Access Centre, unfortunately, is not easily connected to the "Macs". The "Macs" are not as easily connected to it as are the Pentiums. This raises the question in my mind, why buy a product that is not easily compatible to the already existing network? There is also the cliche ... al there is a mix-up with u,c supplier who Terry has ordered the software from. That is not to say that there does not exist a mix-up, but it does seem like somewhat of a stock answer. The third and last complication adding

to the inert "Macs" is that printing from the "Macs" to the printer system already set up for the Pentiums is apparently not easily done. However, in amongst all this excuse filled banter lies some very good news indeed. Terry Cox has spoken to the supplier and the tentative date he should be receiving the basic software (spreadsheets, word processing)is Friday September 20. Once the basic software is installed, they will be getting more specialized software as money permits.

Our good friend Douglas Bull ends his compelling and gripping article by saying, "get them ...software ...and maybe even an apology for taking sooo bloody long" (The Cascade, Week 9, 1996 A4). Well, hopefully to your. satisfaction Mr. Bull our resident "Mac-daddy", Terry Cox told me that there is indeed "no excuse, I apologize". Hopefully our "Macs" are up and running as soon as is humanly possible so everyone who cares to can learn and enjoy them to their fullest potential. Oh, and by the way Douggie , in the last sentence of your first paragraph you write, "one would be hard pressed to find it [Acces Centre] less than half full on even it's slowest day" (The Cascade, Week 9, 1996, A4).

Just so you know, your sentence shoud read, one would be hard pressed to find it less than half full on even its slowest day.

English 101 Doug, English 101.

I NOMINATEDAVID SUZUKI FOR ENVIRONMENTAL MINISTER B Teresa Ham el

In terms of environmental initiatives, there has been weak, if any, financial backing despite the inspiration and promises doled out by political parties. Secondly, there is no strong environmental leadership within office, only too many unenlightened (or uninterested) politicians spouting illogical arguments. For example, our current environmental minister claimed that while cars are still the largest polluters in the valley, lawnmower emissions are the next enemy.

Besides the fact that lawnmowers produce a fraction of the pollutants cars do, he has mischievously shifted responsibility from the government back to the citizen. It is the government's responsibility to creat viable alternatives to cars. So it is utterly

shameful to put the blame back on the citizen, on lawnmowers of all things. What's next? Our public transit system needs to be extended, there needs to .be commuter services between Abbotsford and Vancouver and when new roads are built, plans for bicycle lanes should be mandatory. How can one "go green" when it is so misguided? Not to mention, frustrating and expensive. Let's "Air Care" those pesky lawnmowers while I drive my car each day back and forth from Aldergrove because there is no comprehensive bus system.

Let's look at another misguided regulation: On the endless journey from Aldergrove, I always see cyclists repeatedly risking their lives on the road.

SCREEECH! ! Look at the car

swerve and just miss him. Oh No!! Another driver on his cellular phone .....

Aww folks, Joe Cyclist's head just got bashed in. He should have worn his helmet. Now, Joe don't rag on the government claiming they are too greedy and/or lazy to build adjacent bike lanes. You ought to prevent the injuries incurred by motorists no matter how inattentive and callous some are. Joe, don't be silly, the government can't give priority to both motorists and cyclists. Why should the government be responsible for making both motorists and cyclists safe by adding seperate lanes? Surely you and your little cyclist community can squeeze yourselves within already over-crowded streets. And pay your fine, damnit.

And so after weeks of protest, Joe pays his fine dutifully.

He was told to get his hair cut, buy a helmet and find a real cause. The next year, traffic congestion got worse and under the law, Joe now has to wear shin pads and at least one wristband.

The fine has been increased about two or three times already. It was also "recommended" that those breathing outside in high traffic areas should wear a gas mask to reduce respiratory problems. Joe thought he would be safer if he bought a car, a super-special car because it would be "Air-Cared ."

But Joe knows that next year there will be more little problems, and so new and improved laws, fresh, shiny, ultra-policies disguising the real issues that our government are supposed to address.

The Cascade

Sept 26, 1996 A5

Opinion

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiii

CURLYWACKFlNDS FREEDOM

B Simon Lan eler

Boredom! That's the enemy.

Shoot the bugger down!

-Frank Herbert

Twoweeks in,

and the life of a scholar lost its lustre. The phrase, "school's better than working," seems ironic. It isn't that there's too much work, heck, its just not as much fun as it looked when I was breathing manure, pulling weeds, and shoveling rocks for work in the summer. The glory of college life is revealed to be like weeding the wildflowers out of an alpine meadow, "why am I doing this anyway?" Is the question of the sickly boy with the bleary eyes.

Sad case, man. I'm getting bored already.

Then I know why: I'm not

letting loose. Obsession with a solid start in my classes has stunted me! I guess I'm a good fellow who takes his studies seriously. Anyway, September 6th, I choose myself as an ambassador of the 'Wack to visit the Abbotsford campus; I hang out in the Cascade office and pretend to be someone who knows what's going on. I have no idea what's going on, but I introduce myself as "the Chilliwack correspondent." I'm not sure if anybody was impressed. Maybe I need a sports jacket, or a brief case? People will wonder: What's

New World Order Cont' brutal treatment of ethnic peoples, the illegal relocation of individuals, the massive destruction of forests and the total misuse of the law by the Indonesian military clearly point out that Indonesia is a violent and lawless state. In short, within Indonesia human rights are violated on an immense scale. China invaded Tibet 40 years ago, and sine then 1.2 million Tibetans have died, 100,000 have been forced to flee and the Chinese occupation of Tibet contravenes all aspects of international law. China also treats its citizens in a bruta1 way, and China has the largest prison camps in the world. In short, China is a brutal state that has little regard for basic human rights, yet China continues to be on the Security Council at the UN. There is no doubt that within Indonesia and China international law is flouted. But the story becomes more disturbing when we realize that Canada, for example, has contributed a great deal to the ongoing slaughter in both these states. Crimes between states are just as important as crimes within states.

Canada has constantly downplayed the way Indonesia has treated its citizens. In fact, as the human rights situation in Indonesia has grown worse, Canadian aid and trade has increased.

Although our Prime Minister made a great deal at the Commonwealth Conference about linking aid to human rights, the Canadian record has consistently been appalling on this issue. In 1989 when the pro-democracy students were gunned down in China, Canada, within days, offered China most favored nation trading status. China continues to be one of the largest recipients, like Indonesia, of CIDA funding even though both states violate international law on a regular basis.

We might want, though, to bring this point closer to home. As I said, China and Indonesia have clearly broken laws, and we call those who flagrantly and consistently break the law, criminals. The Abbotsford Air and Trade Show has regularly and eagerly invited Indonesia and China to its main events. Are

in that brief-case? Must be important. The chief keeps coming and going, very busy, I I wandered the halls: wow, not bad. Then I play a game of pool with the chief, I get passionate about it. Soon I'm on my way back home again, I feel a laughing fit coming on. This is how it starts.

Day 2 of the mania: I get my friend, Davey Capilano, to come with me to see the U.C.F.V. soccer teams play Green River. We caught the end of the men's, and saw the start of the ladies' game. Good soccer! ,

we then, not inviting criminals into the valley to amuse and entertain, and are not the criminals we invite in criminals of a substantial nature?

The New World Order has, on the one hand, laws that are, in principle, supposed to guide conduct within and between states, and yet, on the other hand, states regularly violate those laws when it suits their security and economic concerns. This means, in essence, that the New World Order is an order, on substantial issues, that places the security interests of the rich above the law

Made us feel like real hosers.

Like the Chief might have said, they had the "skillz." Soccer is getting bigger in Chilliwack, mark my words, it'll be bigger than hockey. There's a new soccer store in town to serve all your needs. It's got a very simple name, but I can't remember what it is. "Soccer -something-" Anyway, soccer is tops, like none other.

Then followed a week of school, winging it all the way. All I can think about is Friday the 13th, and the 19th semi-annual Mushroom Bowl, This is where I shall let loose. I had decided to adopt SFU as my own, and cheer for the Clansmen. I take up the mockery of "that stupid chicken," Continued on Page 11

and the values embedded in international law.

The task then of those concerned about values and law is both to monitor states that violate international law and challenge them to be true to their legal commitments. This role is being played by many Non-government Organizations(NGOs).

Thomas More once said, "if we cannot bring about the best, let us, at least, strive to prevent the worst." NGOs, as they attempt to moniter states' human rights activities and urge compliance to due process of law, stand within the tradition of More's adage.

A6 The Cascade

Volume 4 Issue No. 2

overs ■

I

I

Guaranteeing post-secondary education means providing financial assistance to those who need it most. The Government of B.C. is working to ensure that the British Columbia Student Assistance Program works for students and their families.

mount

There will be a $25 increase to the weekly maximum - as much as $850 more per school year. This will benefit as many as 22,000 students, many of them with children, who are currently - - ·=~~ - f;'lancial assistance.

1c•1ar•1es enef 1111

An additional 3,000 students will receive Student Financial Assi~tance this year. This means more students than ever before will receive help with the cost of their education.

hild n

Qualified students with dependent children are also eligible for the BC Family Bonus, and the Healthy Kids program for vision and dental care.

The Government of B.C. wants young people to know they have a bright future here. And we're doing what it takes to make it happen.

For more information about our Guarantee for Youth, call 1-800-637-5455.

~ •.-:.• ( BRITISH OLUMBIA

Investing In OurFuture.

A GuaranteeForYouth.

The Cascade

Sept 26, 1996 A7

1996TRAINSTATIONLOVE AFFAIR

By Jacob Curley

Today he was walking down Royal Avenue, past the park, city hall, and the place where the drunk had fingered him. He went past the Mardigras( where, at one time, he had won free tickets to a kickboxing match ). Left on eigth, past the college. He goes through the lights, and turns right. Voila, social problems. A narcotic salesman leans on a trash-can. It is like a podium. He is conducting insanity. His stooges are singing with clenched teeth. The walking man notices everything, but pretends not to notice anything.

He ascends the powerless escalator in the skytrain station.

The vandals are to his left and the victims are to his right. He runs the gauntlet without breaking pace. There is no cause for alarm.

He is a giant in motion, it would be ridiculous to try and stop him.

He climbs the second escalator.

There is a quick turn to the right at the top of the stairs. There the

platform will appear and he will stand on it, waiting to catch his train. Six steps away and he realizes that he has forgotten where he's going. Six steps away and who on earth could come around the comer but her.

It was the same woman he had seen the Thursday before. In the rain on Hastings Street. The ragged, red dress. Black leather jacket. Nasty velvet boots and ugly, ugly knees. That night she had asked him "are you lookin'?"

He gave her a look, a look he had used before when his head was in the toilet. He had seen his own face filled with disgust and intrigue-reflecting off the surf ace of his stew. Could he convince anyone that the portrait scowling in the bowl was fresh, modern art? The woman in the red dress.

She really is a work of art. It must have taken years, even decades to create such a masterpiece. She would be called hopelessness. She

will hang in the gallery dumpster.

He had finished his grimace and continued on. He was repulsed, but was also thinking of what may have happened. Where they might have gone and what they may have done. How exciting it seemed to a man with his background. The danger. The potentially exciting danger. He found this arousing, and his heart pounded electric pleasure as he continued down the street into a safer part of town.

Six steps from the platform and they exchanged looks again. She was slipping cherry red into her purse after applying it to her lips.

As she came down he continued up. He watched his blue sleeve, saving a snear for the closest range. On her third step down they stood on equal ground exchanging looks of anger. His nostrils flared.

She separated the four corners of her mouth and revealed weeks of cigarette and alcohol work--done

neatly, without the rankling of fluoride. She seemed empowered by some knowledge or device which enabled her to stare him down. The both felt something deep in in their hearts. They were sharing hatred.

He sensed that there was nothing he could take from her today, for any price. He climbed a few more steps and, once again, she was beneath him. As he looked back with a righteous grin he saw her reaching into her purse. She pulled a small revolver out from within and simultaneously pointed and fired. He felt it hit his neck but did not feel his body smashing into the steps.

There was pressure and shuddering in darkness. There were bullets entering his back. He thought he could feel water balloons busting, but it didn't matter.

He just sighed and let everything go. And everything did.

played, while Ace of Base is (irnnnPrl ;., the "do not play" file. ~ 1aa10 stations are also committed to varied programming and much of this is studentoriented or community focussed.

Now, I put the question to you, the student body. Could such a radio station operate here at the University College of the Fraser Valley? With a student population

of nearly 6000 and a Student Union Building in the works, the idea is not so outlandish. I have decided to start a radio society here at UCFV in order to get the ball rolling. I totally encourage your opinions and/or your help.

You can reach me via Email (FVTER C9Z) or drop me a note here at the Cascade office.

Radio Societ atUCFV It was less than 8 months ago when esteemed C,ascade writer, Nolan Webb, issued a challenge to the entire Cascade readership.

Nolan wisely pointed out how we conciously choose to wallow in the sonic filth spewed out by such mainstream radio stations as Z 95.3 and 99.3 the Fox. As much as I like Rush, Alanis

Morisette, and SaltN'Pepa(please read that with sarcasm), my fellow peers and I choose to list' to KUGS and CITR(the Univt:1sity of Western Washington and the University of B.C.'s radio stations, respectively). These stations play music which challenges the mind and the soul.

Bands like A Tribe Called Quest and Bad Religion are frequently

This Issue's Sign That There Is A Conspiracy Among Us Issue No. 1: What is the difference

to have everyone recieving their sevices. between a Puma and a Panther anyways? It And to top things off, they come by my Oma's house every 3 months or so in an seems to us that they are the same feline ...please write in if you know the effort to sell her more channels for an additional $9.95. Hmmm .. answer. We believe it is a secret way for scientists to funnel grant money into some program ..

Issue No. 3: Save-On Foods. In Abbotsford the only 'IN' doors have an interesting little Issue No. 2: Have you ever cut off your sign above them-"Enter the Excitement'. cable services? Try it! They come to peo- What is so exciting about buying overple's house who don't have cable in an priced food? The theme continues throughattempt to secure entire blocks. They offer out the store with neat little neon signs great deals. How does this sound to you: 1 designed to make the parting of your hardfree month of the full package, the next 3 earned cash for a little food a pleasurable months for $10.95, etc. Oh yeah, they want expenence.

How to Write to The Cascade Letters must be typed, double-spaced, submitted in the formof a computer disk compatible with tht CASCADE's Macintosh computer format (yes there are other Macs around this institution), or sent vi e-mail. f\11letters submtted from the Student Body must include the name, phone number, and student numbe of the author(s).

Letters from persons and /or groups not affiliated with U CFV' s Student Body must include name, phon 11umber,and address of the author(s) or group.

Ihe CASCADE accepts and publishes all letters verbatim with the full name of the author(s).

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:The • ••

• • World Is Ours •• -excerpt from the openingof •

the Lazy MarxistManifesto •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

:

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AS The Cascade

Volume 4 Issue No. 2

..

I

ra1 Last spring, the Gover_nment of British Columbia guaranteed access to post-secondary education for every qualified young student in the province. This fall, many of you are able to begin or continue your post-secondary schooling as a direct result of that guarantee.

ordable tuition

~~:i~r:!:~~ are Unlike some other provinces, where fees are jumping 15% or more, our province's postsecondary institutions are freezing tuition fees for the 96/97 and 97/98 school years. That means you can plan ahead for next year, with no surprises to your budget.

a,.......;:;,:::;;~i~~

Hable :,s

~hce~ 0

spaces for B.C. students, despite federal cutbacks.

We've joined with universities, colleges, and other post-secondary institutions to create 7,000 new student spaces this year alone, and we're working to help institutions operate near or at full capacity in the future.

S

Jllllobs

Education alone isn't enough. As part of our guarantee, we've launched a comprehensive job creation and skills training program. Student Summer Works, for example, created 3,000 jobs this summer, so young people could acquire work experience and earn the money to come back to school.

For more information about our Guarantee for Youth, call 1-800-637-5455.

~ •.-:-.• ( BRITISH OLUMBIA

InvestingIn Our Future.

A GuaranteeForYouth.

's.

AlO The Cascade

Edi to rial

Volume 4 Issue No. 2

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lllllllllllllllllllllllllllll■■l l ■ llll■BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Madness on the Weekend Sleeping in, a habit that I haven't had much time to satisfy so far these past few weeks, on Saturday's is always a pleasuresomething that satisfies me beyond all compare. Last Saturday morning I awoke to the sounds of ethnic-sounding tunes, overlaid with the sounds of a multitude. I stumbled out to the balcony to find out what was happening and I was surprised to see over a thousand people marching by celebrating 25 years of being in the Valley.

What a wondrous site! So many people walking so orderly, without the aid of a drill sergeant (like the one I had for my parades). It was such a pleasant sight-this was multiculturalism I assumed. The group rolled on by, little children walked nice and cheerily with their peers ....

Then one of my neighbours came walking into the courtyard, an old woman, with a look of utter revolt on her face. See looked at me and, based on my white skin, blue eyes and fake blond hair, said the most disgustingly vile words I have ever heard: "God! I almost

forget I was in Canada!" She smiling and reveling in all their looked at me for agreement, I police-ness, not realizing that the simply squinted at her like I scurrying little children at their hadn't heard her. "That", she feet would one day pay an adult to pointed at the group of beautiful buy them cheap wine so they orange and gold-dressed people could go get loaded ......Oh yeah, in comparison to our "normal" marching by "is just ridiculous and disorderly." She then tromped parades these people were comoff before I could leap over my pletely out of line. patio handrail and halt the flow of And what's more is that the parade would actually stop to let her ignorant brainwaves.

So I looked back at the traffic go by. I mean, come on!

Don't we all like to be held up by crowd and saw all the "supposed one of our stupid parades where weirdness" going on within the parade. I found quite a bit. These the Ronald McDonald float takes people actually smiled when they up two lanes, causing traffic to be saw strangers, which is obviously backed up for hours; no the couruncalled for in a celebration of tesy demonstrated to drivers that happiness and anniversary. And morning was completely uncalled the children! You wouldn't befor.

Overall, the parade was lieve it! None of them were impressive but unless we get throwing candy around like the more orthodox little savages, like society back into shape soon, I used to be: diving at the ground there is going to be all sorts of for a pathetic-jelly tot or a sucker madness like (and can you imagine?) women working on their that had been pummeled into white sugar-powder from Shriners own, and not even in the kitchen With a running it over with their little freak-cars, scaring all the horses wink, who took dumps on the road so we could all smell real roadPaul Becker, Ed. In Chief apples as the Mounties walked by

mi

C.JU C.n D.c

UCFV Student Newspaper RoomA219a 33844 King Rd. Abbotsford, B.C V2S 7M9 854-4529 853-4076 (fax) Email: Cascade@ucfv.bc.ca Staff: Paul Becker, Furer Christ Clarke, SS Chief Taryn Thomson, Mike Thomson, Contributers: Nolan Webb Ron Dart Simon Langeler Sascha Keane Len Catling Teresa Hampel Steve Tait Jacob Curley Lisa Chew Chris Terepocki Jamie Hellewell Tyson Nicholas Photographers: Simon. Langeler

on ...Don't worry you'll learn. 2.) I If you 're registered in the Report from BASA Read this entire article and find can only afford a couple of hours business program and you'd like Welcome back everyone!!! a week ...You decide the number out how you could win $30,000 to be part of this dynamic, hardIt's another hectic "Jump-start" of hours you put in. 3.) I have two instantly! into the university lifestyle again: working association there are heads ...We don't discrimnate on On Monday(the 16th), quite no sleep, lotsa work, good friends, nominations starting on Sept. 19th possibly the greatest day in UCFV the basis of physical appearance. and due by Sept 27th in the Busi"unique" instructors. The same 4.) I Can't afford to pay for child history took place-the Student ness Department Assistants old stuff. But don't worry, your care while I'm at meetings ...The Issues Forum. Students were friends at BASA are here to help. office(across from Janet Falk's updated on what the S.U.S. Board Student Association has a policy office) for these positions: We are here for you. HOW? By which would cover this expence. has done to date and were preDiploma Representatives( 4) being one of(if not) the most sented with some suggestions for If you have any questions about Degree Representatives( 4) active associations on campus. future plans(including progress in the elections please drop by(we're Secretary( 1) Being so active does have it's very lonely)! the Student Union Building, advantages; we'll be starting with Promotions( 1) And another thing, how about Ombuds, officially declaring war helping our friends out at Student Treasurer(l) that parking! We know it bites but on the United States of America, Activities by running the Bar-B-Q Vice-President( 1) what can we do? Bring in your and joining the British Columbia President( 1) at a 'Day in the Field' on Sept.

Student Association). For all those suggestions. We can't promote Voting will take place on Oct. 19th and then we' 11jump right that you pass on your parking who missed out on the event, 9-11 th. For voting information into the nomination schedule for tickets, as this is illegal. We do there will be another one next please watch for posters or conour new BASA however, promote recycling. month, so stay tuned. For tact us at A221 Thursday's at EXECUTIVES(fill in Harps/ Important Note: If you need to Chilliwack folks, the forum will 10am. If you have any ideas or chorus etc. here). We also have do some faxing, the Student take place on your campus Septhings you'd like to discuss, drop several BASA events in the works Union offers a low-priced faxing tember 30th(details to follow). by and see us. to get the cobwebs outa that service($.50 for local, $1 for

By Tyson Nicholas-Acting BY-ELECTIONS are apnoggin. SO go ahead and give that President BASA proaching! ! Are you interested in others) at the office(A213). head a shake.

That's it for now, Jamie being actively involved in your Hellewell, SUS. Student Union Board? Nominations will be accepted from SepCascade Report Card tember 23th to 30th. You can pick lro Terry Cox from Computing Technology Services for taking time to explain to us the problems with the up nomination forms at the StuMacintosh software in the First Heritage Computer Lab. dent Union office(A213). Common objections to running in the [ro the Computing Technology Services for still not having the Macintosh software available. elections: 1.) I'm only a first/ second/third(?) year student and I ~n apology is an apology but actions speak their own words.· don't really know whats going

Student Union Report

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The Cascade

Sept 26, 1996 A9

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Entertainm.ent

Movies By Kosnto

By Sascha

eane

TRAINSPOITING

Spud, Sickboy, Begbie, and Renton cruise around Scotland "As happens in such mov- getting drunk, getting stoned, ies, they started oaf wi an obliga- getting laid, and getting in fights, tory dramatic opening. Then the all with a heavy load of carpe next phase ay the picture involved diem in their back pockets. Spud is a useless, dorky, hilariously building up the tension through frail loser who gets so drunk one introducing the dastardly villain night that he accidentally passes and sticking the weak plot out and shits in his girlfriends thegither. Any minute now though, auld Jean-Claude's ready bed.-Sickboy is the most charismatic of the bunch but definetely tae git doon tae some serious swedgin."

-from not a person that you'd want to lend out your apartment to for the 'Trainspotting' the novel, by weekend, or trust in any other Irvine Welsh.

SEX, DRUGS , AND way what-so-ever.-Begbie is ROCK 'N ROLL. Anarchy, heroin truely a real hardcore psycho (to addiction, life, A.I.D.S., death, put it mildly), a guy that nobody junkies, withdraw}, hallucinations, messes with no matter how big and burly that you may be He'll wideboys, psychos, football, squatters, robbery, laughter, walk into a bar and pick a fight with five guys just to get a good misery, and redemption. bloody rush out of it,-and Mark Trainspotting is a british film Renton, the protagonist of the adaptation oflrvine Welsh's cult novel about working-class Scotish film, played by up-and-comer drug addicts without a care in the Ewan McGreggor, seems to be the only one of the four that may world besides seeking out pleaspossibly be slightly sane, slightly ure and getting a hold of their moralistic, and slightly aware of next fix of heroin.

The four main charactors, what the consequences of being a

full blown drug addict may pose for his future. Will he break free from this circle of addiction and squandering his life away?-Or will he slowly die from A.I.D.S. or go to jail like the rest of them?

Ewan McGreggor also starred as a malicious journalist in "Shallow Grave", the 1994 debut by the Trainspotting team of director Danny Boyle, Screenwriter John Hodge, and producer Andrew Macdonald.

For me, both of these films are a real breath of fresh air. Even though they both deal with a very dark side of humanity (and disgusting to some), they are both very raw, powerful, realistic, and incredibly humorous. This superb team of director, producer, and screenwriter appears to be making it their mission in life to show us, the audience, a side of british society that hasn't been unleashed on film to mainstream Canada since Stanley Kubrick released the controversial "A Clockwork Orange" in 1973 (with the possi-

ble exception of this summers hard to find jem "A Young Poisoners Handbook").

I really can't say enough about this film. It really is an amazing piece of entertaining film-making, and a quality piece of art that gives the viewer an inside peek into modem british pop culture. Unfortunately for us though, there is a small drawback.

Somehow, Trainspotting managed to miss the theaters here in the neo-conservative bible belt of Abbotsford, and only played a short run in the Sardis theater, so if you 're really interested in seeing this film for the first time (or the third for me, or the fifth for Paul Becker), you 're going to have to seek it on your own.

Fortunately though, due to huge public demand, Trainspotting is being held over at most theaters that have been showing it in Vancouver and Victoria, so if you don't mind a bit of a drive, I highly advise that you go and see this excellent film.

Rants, Raves, and Assorted Reviews

By Nolan Webb

This week's bones of contention ...

During this past month I finally had the pleasure of seeing one of the Valley's finest bands, period. SAM surprised me at a recent Mission Elks Hall gig where the double vocals and snappy guitar riffs accented their energetic set. It seemed like everyone came to see them rawk, and rawk they did! An upcoming album should send this fab-four on their way up and out of the Valley. Good luck gang ...

On a sadder note, while openers The Cretins definatally opened the eyes and ears of the decidedly non-punk audience, headliners and local demi-gods The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets regretably did not perform after a couple of glasses were broken below the hall at the bar. An ancient and ignorant barkeep arose from this evil dungeon to warn bands and music fans to evacuate before the authorities were called. This wallows in lameness. The bands even offered to replace the broken stuff but the elder immediately declined; citing the Coca coladrinking youths in front as a further example of youth rowdiness. This happens all too often and mostly over little things, and

the ones who really lose out are the,small scale promoters, bands and fans, who ultimately are the grass roots of the music scene.

LAME! Fake Blondes: With due respect to editor Becker, what the hell is with the eighties rebirth?

I've been studying many of my fellow classmates, and I've made a startling observation; fake blond hair has made a comeback and, in some classes, close to 50% of the students are sporting it! Now let me get one thing clear-Dying your hair just because you dont give a shit is one thing and I've no objection to that, but I can't help but cringe and heartily laugh at the number of people who actually think that they are increasing their attractiveness by way of this heinous act. What's next? Perms?

Dark blue jean clothing? Miami Vice-The Next Generation? A New Order comeback? Maybe it's too late ...

Student Loans: Maybe I'm the only one who got fucked around by the system on this one, but I was granted $480 for the ENTIRE year. Thank you, Mr. Premier and Prime Minister for your dedication to education. You must be able to imagine my excitement when returning home from vacation to find that I could barely afford

b0r·

-

•

·-··

.. ·T- T

·••]

_-lualm is that First Year students in residence almost always receive Bursaries( money that they don't have to pay back) while third and fourth year students are out of luck. Thanks. I'm trying to finish my final year so that I can get out of this godforsaken valley for good, and now I have an extra semester to look forward to because of this shitty system.

Complete Idiots: I was watching the news on the recent Abbotsford mass murders and a local resident who was being interviewed said, "It sure is a lot easier to get killed in Abbotsford". Am I the utter fool on this one, or does this guy have the intelligence of a

-brick? Yes, it is easy to get killed when you involve yourself in . major drug dealing. Yes, it is easy to get killed when a deranged killer decides to prey on innocent victims. It can happen anywhere, anytime. This guy comes from the school of thought that thinks air travel all of a sudden becomes unsafe because a jumbo jet gets sabotaged. IDIOTS! That's all for now, but if any of you monkeys out there object to my rambling gospel, by all means write to the Cascade for christsakes. This is my last year writing so I'm only going to get worse.

It's not getting better. In the words of that skinhead, lose-weight-byscreaming, infomercial queen, "Stop The Insanity!"

All persons interested are cordially invited to the Film 110 Wednesday mornonig showings. The following films will be shown in the lecture theatre (B 101) of the Abbotsford Campus-Wednesdays at 9:30 a.m.

Sept 25: Blockade Oct 2: Crumb A Message from Our Sponsors Oct 9: Oct 16: Family Viewing Calendar Oct 23: The Postman Always Rings 1\vice (1946) Oct 30: The Postman Always Rings 1\vice (1981) Nov 6: Nov 13: Slacker Nov 20: The Crying Game Nov 27: Carrington

The Cascade

Sept 26, 1996 Al 1

=====================iiiiiiiiiiii--Sports Curl wack Cont' that is the UBC Thunderbird's mascot. It's supposed to be a Thunderbird, but it looks like a blue and yellow chicken, I remember how Dan (SFU), a guy I worked with this summer said that he and other fans al ways tried to attack the chicken at every Mushroom Bowl, despite the stem security guards all around the edges of the field, and in the stands. It was my intention to be one of those guys.

So I call Lazy Lacey and Davey Capilano, and plans are stuck to see the game at UBC's Thunderbird stadium, 7pm. For the afternoon, us three Chilliwack guys explored the UBC megapolis. We bounced on the bouncy bushes, we checked out the food fair, considered going to see the new Schwarzenegger movie in the campus movie theatre, and went to the UBC barbecue. It was like UCFV's Day In The Field, but no climbing wall or pillow jousting, just a band, a soccer ball, two frisbees, and a beer garden that stretched as long as the old Chilliwack campus building.

6:20pm: I take off my pants, and don the four square metres of folded over cloth ( 100% unknown fabric, it was cheaper that way), over my shoulder, and belted 'round the waste. It was a MacPherson-like kilt, and underneath I am wearing two pairs of underwear. I paint Lazy and Davey's faces blue, then they do mine. Now we are Scots.

6:35pm: We arrive on the field. At first it is quiet, for we I are early. Then more people trickle in. A piper starts up across the field. There is a light rain.

People are now coming in by the dozen. We see the Clansmen's mascot: a giant, kilted scots

terrier. We cheer to him, and he beats his drum. The cheerleaders take the field. We cheer to them.

The bleachers and grass seats are now a mob scene. Lots of us are wearing kilts , proud and haughty in our manner. Stomping about was Franz, this broad waisted fellow with a great billowing yellow checkered kilt. Suddenly I see that the UBC fans are throwing clods of dirt at us from across the no-man's land which is cornered by some security guys and a couple of cops. I will have none of this, so I gather a third of my clan (Davey), I go to the no-man's land and throw my plaid boxers at them. They flew in slow motion, like at the end of Braveheart when Hamish throws Wallace's sword into the field of battle. Divots flew over and past my head.

Davey ran interference for me.

The we (and other) hurled clods of dirt and grass until we got tired.

As we walked back to sit with Lazy, I saw the chicken· with the comer of my eye.

We sing Oh Canada, and get ready to watch a great game. I can see that the dirt war is still going on in my absence. During the first quarter, we befriended Amy Gyoba (SFU, psychology),· and she join our boisterous cla" Davey and I roused our fell· fans by shouting: "They can take our lives, but they'll never take OUR FREEDOM!!"

Sometime in the 2nd quarter: We've started calling the UBCers the English. "Kill the English!" We cry. The clansmen are wiping the field with the Thunderbirds. The Cheerleaders are making pyramids and doing backflips. I see my buddy Dan(SFU), who's 6"5', painted, kilted and ready for battle. "Third

Quarter," he says, "are you with us? We 're taking out the chicken." I gave him my word and returned to my clan. Then our clan, and all the other clans were startled into taking cover, as dozens of eggs flew over the hedge behind us. Some UBCers (or McUbics -lowlanders, of course) had snuck outside of the field and come up behind our half of the field, armed with many cartons of eggs. Chicken eggs.

Their first volley stunned us. The second, about 15 minutes later sent kilted scots climbing over the barbed fences and hedges, and after the scurvy eggers. The word was that the successful MacSfus (Highlanders, naturally) beat up the bastards and took their eggs.

And the game rolled on. We screamed ourselves hoarse. Then UBC crossed the line. Already they had been hurling lumps of dirt and grass at us, and the SFU coaching staff. Now the were throwing at our cheerleaders. So I pulled off my last pair of underwear, jumped to my feet with the boxers in my uplifted fist, turned to my fellow fans, and cried: "Sons of Scotland! They're throwing dirt at our cheerleaders!'' The I roared like a bear, _ --~ ,uau s 1and, .,__,1ding up my underwear like a banner. Lazy pounded turf after me. I packed my boxers with sod, tied a knot, and leaped into the no-man's land, then security chased me back to the SFU side.

But from there, I threw my ball of dirt and cotton across the breach, it made a great arc, and landed on their side, and they drew back for a moment while Lazy and I threw fists of sod. Then I turned my back to them, bent over, flipped up my kilt, and shook two cheeks

of mockery at them. Then it was half-time, there was a beer-drinking relay race, and the SFU team won.

3rd Quarter: Befriended the clan of Mac Phucnfrisn: Jamie-Lee, Amy, and Hiedi (SFU, drama). We called our clan the MacLachophunduar clan of the Fraser Valley. While we were carousing, Lazy suddenly grabs me by the shoulder. "Look!" he says, pointing to the opposite side of the field. "They're after the Thunderbird! They've got him under the overhang [of the bleachers], no-one sees them!

They've ripped something off!

The cops are after them!"

In the distance I could see big Dan and some others running away. One member of his pack ran faster than the rest, and he held in his hand the blue plume from the Thunderbird's head. A cheer went up among us like none other. I ran to the end zone for a closer look, a kilted fellow named Brett danced back and forth with his prize held in the air. There I met former UCFVers Alicia Walsh and Stacey Chambers. And we all cheered in victory. Then UBC scored 15 points, but that's not important.

4th Quarter: It finished off fast. Our hearts thudded in our chests. The score was 25-15 throughout. We were going to win. We were finally rising from the mob mentality. We began to respect the Thunderbirds. After all, nobody tried to rip off our terrier's kilt.

I had to go to the big city to learn how to cheer for my team.

But my clan and I have taken the lesson home with us. I know look to our local sports, like Cascades basketball ... or soccer.

UCFV Men's And Women's Soccer Teams Both Lose Home Opener To UC Cariboo Between them, the UCFV ished. A weak pass back set up a men's and women's soccer teams cariboo counter-attack goal only have won three national bronze two minutes into the game and a medals in the past three years. But UCFV "own goal" made it 2-0 for the Cascade men and women fell Cariboo at seven minutes. Down 5-2 and 5-1 respectively to sides 3-0 at half, the Cascade men from the University from the rallied to close the gap to 4-1 University College of the Cari boo when Haroon Ali's great tum and at Bateman Park in Abbotsford, shot from 25 yards completed a Saturday September 14, as they lovely passing play by Toivo struggle to rebuild.

Hutikka, Jim Knudson, and The Cascade men played well Quentin O'Mahony. Ian Carlisle in between brutal mistakes which and Mike Smith combined to set the Cariboo men efficiently punup Sean Wicker for UCFV's

second goal in the games final minutes.

The UCFV women started their 1996 conference season with a bang, scoring at 15 minutes when third-year midfielder Tanya McCrachen worked her way free just inside the "18" and slid a low shot pass the UCC keeper. But after the goal, injuries began to take their toll on an already shorthanded UCFV squad. "We were in injury trouble before the game started," explained he.ad-coach

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Tom Fast, "and by twenty minutes we were reduced to one inju red substitute and three players playing while inju red." The score was 1-1 at half, but exhaustion set in and the defending national silver medalist Cariboo women overpowered UCFV with four goals in the final 45 minutes.

Check with UCFV Athletics for information on future games.

The Views Expressed in the Cascade are the views of Students, mainly people like yo~rself. Get the point?

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CINDERELLA ROC FELLA SATURDAY SEPT. 28 DOORSOPEN8 PM

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