The Cascade Volume 6 Issue 10 1999-03-03

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Editor In Chief

Canadian University Press

Editorial

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lost foll when I become Editor-inChief, I hove been paying more attention to both national and local student politics. With my eyes a little bit more open, I have noticed a disturbing trend: the fragmentation of student unity.

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This fragmentation is frightful only because there is such irony contained within it. The whole point of student groups isthat they represent the concerns of like-minded students. While the individual concerns of each group varies, the Ultimately, this trend of fragmentation resultsin the splintering of student is- overall rational for their existence remains sues into compartmentalized sections. the same. Student groups exist because These sections then rally around a cen- they represent students' interests. tral issue or list of causes, jockeying for Whether you are a Business,Criminology position, in competition with the other or a Media and Communications student, compartmentalized sections for the ear your general interestsas a student remain the same. of the powers that would pay attention.

Letters Currents Ideas & Assertions

8-Track profiles from my left shoe

Arts & Ent ~;.·'.Smah Conner <'·J: --<+·:t:/._;;t,- .. \.)L '\ >

Sports

AdvertisingSole Keith Brandsma ··.

International Women's Day Student Union Society

Post-It Cover Design .·.· .·•·

"Corruption"

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I do not understand how adults can give their children these types of dolls.

With subtle genitals and rolling eyes, I can not imagine how .these plastic or rubber distorted forms could not create childhood nightmares. Everyone as a child has placed dolls or figurines in perverse manners. It would seem to be the first type of corruption which many children would experience.

Cover etching prints available for sale

Ron Ddrt Dean Huston Lolita Shawn Martens Bryan Miller.

More Misner Aaron Otto Dan Sitton Kevin Trowbridge Jason Warner

The Cascade.

Six issuesper semester, published twice per month, the Cascade .comes OlJ!on Wednesdays in the fall and winter semesters. Circulation is2000 papers distributed throughout Abbotsford, Chilliwack and Mission.TheCascade is a r::iem_berof the · Canadian UniversityPress,o national network of 54 college and university papers.

CUP opposes sexism, racism, homophobia and other oppressive prejudices. Subscriptions ore $20 per year. The Cascade office is located in building A, the Student Lounge. ·

Lettersto the Editorpolicy.

Letter length should be kept under 400 words. Sadly, if letters exceed t!°)islimit they · t)e abruptly ended with a., ../, Letters that hove been subjected to.th€luncqmpromising backslash will be posted In the Cascade office and the publi9wm be.able to view them during office hours. . . · Trie deadline for submissions is Wednesday noon. Submi5?k:ms on disk or,emau preferred, but paper is always good ..The Cas<::adeoffice is Macintosh based'..so email attachments need to be sE;)nt as text files. some holds for disk submissions;All letters must include your name and student number. The Cascade win consid;r publishing "<JMnymous" letters 9n1yif circumstances are ext~puoting ..·1 i'.

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The opinions and 'values express~d in articles featured in th9-Casc;a.(je,. of the writers and not. nec~~grilY'./epre.s9-ptt.he opinio.Q~9Qd . l9es · toriarstoffor the Vniversity College.of the FraserVaUev..,.· ;•:\sit

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Byjoining an association, either locally or nationally, that spends most of its time rallying around its flagpole and opposing other student groups, the whole point of the student group is lost. It hos ceased to represent the general interests of the group as students. In effect it has been high-jacked by a few individuals with personal agendas and issuesaround ownership and control of the group. Ultimately, the result of this mindless jockeying is that the student groups become self destructive to the movement in itself.

The movement foils to maintain a united voice and disintegrates into a number of smaller voices all shouting louder and louder to be heard amid the confusion .

Be cool, stay warm, C.

of rye, "Oh great· I thought "another bunch.of idiots are.tryi.ng to shove their · viElwofthe world down my throat; It must . bepuf out by the Busine.ssAdmi.nistrotion Deportment (easy targets for Arts students)/· ..As it tLJrred out, 1.wasn't far off. lhavebeen attending Th.eUniversityCol- Some:.d1ownshad gained C(::>nt[olof.an lege of the Fras~r Volley for three, years, office)o'printing press, and most inipor• (:-Nhycan't they call it Cascade Univer-, tantly, 'money. My money. I picked up sity?). Like many of you, during this time I the.paper and began to read. I mused, have thought nothing of the Cascade, . "Who writes this? I could write ten times our student newspaper.' Instead, my better than any of these guys!" thoughts hove focused on more exciting things:sex, drugs, and rockand roll. I had Then one day I sow it, gleaming hoped the ability to pick up chicks (like in ail it's pink day-glow splendour. A sign: that ever happened), consume alcohol, Cascade deadline February 8. Being the and listen to loud music, would help me Curious George type, I asked at the Casdevelop the skillsI need to get ahead in cade office (A226) what this all meant. It today's competitive job market. I was so turns out, all you hove to do is write. Your wrong. Through my alcoholic fog, I be- thoughts, responses,or stories,about pupgan to see that my purpose here was to pies, unicorns, and ponies are all welbe involved in college life. come. Maybe, if you're daring, some news. Wouldn'tthotbeachange?

Once Part of my Involvement should your literary diarrhea is complete, turn it have been writing for the Cascade, the in to the Coscc;ide office. The more constudent 'rag.· So, before I take It over and troversial or poorly researched, the bet~ sink it deeper than the Titanic (shomelesS' ter. I now hod a mission,to transform the pop culture plug), I would like to give you Cascade. Who needs a place of calm o chance at being as cool as me. In other and thoughtful discussion when you con words, I would like to duck out of my newly have a place to vent your frustration? acquired responsibilities at the paper.

Here, you can soy whatever you wont You, the sea of literate types, will write it to. I know I will. The Cascade also offers for me. To make you do this, I must ac- instant name recognition. Before the complish two things: · Cascade I was just another one of you.

Now I'm a fascist/dilettante/paedophile. l) Pissyou off enough so that you have The Cascade has done so much for me. to write a response to some of my more Think of what it c0n do for you. So get nonsensical ramblings. writing, and remember to spell check 2) Show you how accessible the Cascade before you SLJbmit.Also, keep in mind that and the chimps that run it ore to you, the the primates at the Ca~cade are further great sea of unwashed mosses. burdened by their Macintoshes. If you' re going to e-mail (cascade@ucfv.bc.ca) To better illustrate my point, I' IItell make sure that your article is in 'bet'fora little story. While wondering the hails mat (you power tripping, Flash Gordonover the years, I come across a newspa- wannabe, IBM computer geeks). Good per. The Cascade. At firstglance it looked luck. as if someone hod given o family of chimbest regards, panzees typewriters ,and several bottles James 'Two Pickles' Clark

Dear Editor,

Impulse

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Fragmentation is disturbingly evident in notional student politics. Vivian Hoffman, the president of the Alma Matter Society, the student union of UBC, has been quoted saying, "The biggest problem with the Canadian student movement isthat it's divided.· Maura Porte, the B.C. chair of the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS), echoes Hoffman's concern: "We need o united student movement in Canada, and the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations (CASA), spends more time criticizing the Canadian Federation of Students than (criticizing) anti-student policies developed by governments."

There are also examples of fragmentation locally. At UCFV,we have numerous student groups, all with strange ·

by Kevin Trowbridge

roisers. Moreover, if the jockeying is not over money, then it seems to be over control, as in the difficulties the Radio Station Committee and the S.U.S.dealt with last week.

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Dear Cascade, I have been attending UCFV for two years and I also happen to be an employee of the institution. Working and studying aside, I tend to delve into the various arts the university has to offer, as a spectator, and I would have to say that I am heretofore pleased with what little is offered in this criteria. When I say various arts, I refer to theater productions, art galleries and student activities presented by students and faculties for the benefit of all students and the public. Often I have perused through the art gallery at the Abbotsford Campus, taking in the various pieces on display, and more than often I have attended the wonderful productions put on by the students and faculty at the Chiiliwack Campus theater. I have a great appreciation for the time and creativeness put forth by the people involved. With that said, I believe that a university newspaper is also a creative outlet for students, and therefore I read every issue lhat is circulated throughout the campuses. However, with this particular art media, I am sometimes ill-impressed.

It would be unfair for me to criticize the paper in it's entirety, for there are portions which I thoroughly enjoy. I like to read informative articles about our institution and I like to read the poetry that some students submit. But that is where my appreciation ends. I have always believed that one who feels they need to criticize others ( I refer to Kieth Bylsma,who

Jason

Warner

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seems to thrive on negative attentions) or to use lewd publications to entice curious readers ( I refer to the article 14 positions for Feb. 14th, article on prostate etc.) is one who should not be in the position of writing in a public document, especially one that impressesthe integrity of the university. Please understand that swear or slang does not offend me personally, nor does freedom of opinion/press/speech, indeed I am using that freedom at the moment, however when it comes to the student paper I think some decorousness and etiquette of writing should be entertained.

Even then, as I grow angry and I decide to accept your ongoing invitation to write to the Cascade, I pull out the issue dealing with Human Rights. This is a student paper! After reading the paper from back to front I think to myself there are many talented writers and columnistsworking for this paper, so why can't all the papers be this enlightening and informative?' Maybe there was little feedback from this issue,and you took the lack of response as a sign of boredom from your readers. I plead with the editor-inchief Chris Bolsterto indeed publish more Cascades like the aforementioned and "serve as a starting point ..." and " ....forum for further thought" (quoted from one of Mr. Bolsterseditorial on the Cascade) for our students. Let's have a school paper that exemplifies a student body of intelligence and creativity. Let's not have a paper that is incessantly referred to as a "rag," and rather use it to represent a University of creativity and erudition.

Jared Mumford

Heretofore, in response to the aforementioned, it is the position, i.e. or that is to say, the response of the Cascade, that UCFV is sorely lacking in English 105skills.

Dear Editor, Currently our UCFV womens and mens basketball teams are working through dedication and hard work striving to gain a top spot nationally. Presently, the men's team is ranked second in BC and sixth in the nation. Whereas our women'steam is ranked fourth in the province and fifteenth in the nation.

Furthermore and henceforth, wheretofore the Both teams came away with satisCascade is repre- fying wins over OUC, Trinity and Douglas these past weeks. The women dehensibly remissin its feated OUCtwo70-41 and although they lost tough game to Trinity, they bounced expostulationof rhe- aback and defeated the number one team in BC, Douglas, 69-66. The men torical excellence, went undefeated with convincing wins the Cascade herein asserts to elevate its contributorship standards from ignominious expressions, to an epitome of academic logomachy. Thusly,we, as in those at the Cascade, would presently entertain any attempts to prosyletize and therein proposition more creative and appropriately constructed literary material. In termination, the abovementioned letter-to-the-editor is most graciously appreciated as the Cascade is forever willing to consider criticism from its loyal readership. However, it is the most meekly presented suggestion of this editor, that should individual writers be criticized, we deem it neccessary to use the names of actually extant individuals. We have no idea who this "Kieth Bylsma,, person is....but he sure sounds like a dick.

Ed.

over OUC, Trinity and Douglas. It is clear with this progress that our teams need to be supported, but how when some students don't even know that UCFV has basketball teams.

We understand that prosports are interesting and exciting, but if we wanted to read all about the NBA or pro golf then we would buy a Vancouver Sun. We guess the main questions that should be addressed are: Is our newspaper a student newspaper?, Is .it a paper about students for students?, If so, why aren't all student activities covered? Why are w.e covering issuesoutside of UCFV?

The UCFV Women's B-BallTeam.

I us as to how were to address Mr. Clark logically and civilly.

On

Tuesdays, I usually have a political science class with Jay Haaland. On this day, there were extra students in the class and a buzz around the school. A surprise guest had invited himself to sit in on our class. Mr. Glen Clark was to arrive at 10:00 a.m. and talk to us for an hour or so, the only day I leave my camera at home. I had to think fast, so I ran down to The Cascade to ask them to lend me their camera. The favour in return was to write this article.

Mr. Clark was to arrive at 10:00 a.m .. but by 10:30 he still hadn't shown up. We started to discuss what our agenda would be once he arrived. As time slipped away, so did a lot of students who had other classes to attend.

10:45...11:00...11:15... still no Mr. Clark, but a frantic public relations representative offered apologies and an estimated time for his arrival. At this time the Student Union Society, who was also to meet Mr. Clark, came to us and requested that they join our class. Our class then grew to about fifteen students. As we began discussing several issues, I realized that there were very different agendas about to be addressed. The voices were getting louder, tempers were starting to flare, and our controversial guest hadn't even arrived yet. There was dissension among

At that point in walked Glen Clark.

For a moment I was taken back. Somehow I expected press, advisors, and school administrators to be following close behind him. I had imagined the school with music and a red carpet rolled out for him. Our class had even debated over which chair he would use. You could tell that he had been rushed all day. Once settled he seemed very calm, and despite the rumors, he does have good eye-contact. He is a sharp and highly intelligent man. He did not have to converse with advisors, and he said exactly what he thought. Topics were raised about the Niska Treaty, student loans, Cascadia, and B.C. Ferries. He answered them very well, but something gave me the feeling that this guy t:lad been selling used cars before he was in office. I asked him what prompted him to enter politics? He replied that when he was a boy, his father was an artist and thus he had lived an underprivileged life. He was outraged that there were no parks or public recreational facilities in his area of town. He wanted to make a difference for the poor people. Wow! But wait- there's more .. As I asked him whether or not it is possible to retain popularity in office, the media burst into the room. Mr. Clark's tune shifted.

Who could blame him. I would too if I were on record. He then layed it on thick.

He stated that popularity was very hard

to retain and that the media "pissed" him off. He told a story about how he had once addressed the homeless, the junkies, and the prostitutes of Vancouver about giving them a chance to succeed in life. He said that they were in tears and that no one had ever given them a chance like this before. Well, Mr. Clark, it's now printed. Good self-pat on the back. How many babies have you kissed?

Over all, I felt that Mr. Clark's visit to our classroom was not very enlightening. Our agenda was to get to know the man behind the politics and.open him up.

Instead other agendas closed him in. The media, with their ignorant disruption, came only to get a picture for their front page, then to write a story about the mayor whining that nobody came to visit him. Where was he, in the hospital? Oh that's right, Glen Clark doesn't visit hospitals. If your going to burst into a class room and selfishlytake a picture, at least write a story on what happened there.

To be fair to Mr. Clark, everyone plans out their day and not everyone can be accommodated.

I am glad it was pointed out to me why it was necessary for us to share in the discussion. I hope some of your agendas were met, but I dare to suggest that really none of us left with any satisfaction, just proof that Glen Clark causes a stir everywhere he goes.

··currents

Shirzad

Ahmed

As

most readers are aware, the Kurdish people have been globally protesting.the kidnapping of Abdulla Ocalan, General Secretary of the PKK(Kurdistan Worker=92s Party). The media has described the protests as: "bizarre," "angry" and "wild."

Few of us question how much we know about the Kurdish people's plight or, for that matter, how much the media is willing to tell us. Allow me to give you a brief background on the Kurds (For the purpose of this task, I will only address Kurdistan of Turkey).

The Kurds number roughly 30 million. They are the largest minority group in the world without its own state. In the Treaty of Sevres in 1920, the Kurds were promised a Kurdish state by the League of Nations. However, three years later the Treaty of Laussanne was signed between the victorious allies and Turkey which erased the hope of establishing a Kurdish state. Artificial borders were erected, dividing Kurdistan among Iraq, Iran, Syria and Turkey. As a result, Kurdish families were torn apart by artificial borders and became subjects of divergent laws that all had a common theme: the suppression of the Kurdish identity.

In Kurdistan of Turkey, a program of systematic destruction and forced assimilation was put into place. Presently, no one in Kurdistan ofTurkey can call him• • a dressy d on self or herself anything other than-a Turk.

The Kurdish language is prohibited. Anyone caught speaking the language, dressing in Kurdish clothing, listening to • ....::I==C=h=r=is=B=o=l=s=te=r===-...J Kurdish music, or carrying a Kurdish newsletter faces possible torture and/or the Editor In Chief death penalty. Numerous international organizations, including Amnesty InternaWeipert-Spieler tional, have documented the destruction hasn't been back to Ot(bulldozing) of over 4000 Kurdish villages tawa since 1981, but in by the Turkishregime. One must rememearly March she will be re- , ber that the Kurdish population in Turkey turning to represent UCFV isabout 12 to 15 million. Turkishpolicy vioat a student conference lates the Race Convention, the Genocide on campus sexual vioConvention, the Universal Declaration of lence. The conference, Active Voices On Campus: SpeakOut, is being hosted by Carleton University in Ottawa on March 19-21 and will be attended by many American and Canadian campuses. Speakers at the conference include Dr. Barbara Freeman, a sociology professor at Carleton University, Alex Bustos Leighamm Burns-Campana from the Eastern Ontario Harmony House and Amber Dean, a social activist and writer from CUP Ottawa Bureau Chief University of Alberta.

Sexual Violence or 1nternaflonasca1e

Sandy

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Sandy has been selected to attend the second annual Active Voices conference by the student union and university college. She has a background in student politics and sat on the organizing committee for UCFV's Human Rights Awareness Week. In addition, she also has an interest and background in social work.

In the eighties, Sandy recounts, there were all kinds of NO Means NO campaigns.

In the nineties, the same problems still exist but the exposure of sexual violence on campus has faded .

"Sex should be something that is pleasurable, it shouldn't be something manipulative or used to control oth~s with." ~

Canada World Youth Arc you t<>Oking for a chaUeng.c,

Human Rights and the Geneva Convention, just to name a few. It is no wonder that the Kurds have begun to stand up to the Turkishregime. ThisKurdishstruggle for basic human rights took the form of the Kurdistan Workers party (PKK),fighting for the right to speak in their own mother tongue, to maintain an identity and to live as human beings. Are these basic human rights too much to ask? Apparently so. It seems that every world leader and almost every member of the media has failed to acknowledge that the Kurds are human beings. Their only crime isthat they were born Kurds.

Newspaper and television coverage describes the Kurdish protests as "bizarre", "wild" and anger-ridden. Yet the media has not asked why no country has proudly stepped forward to claim responsibility for the apprehension of a so-called "terrorist." Israel, Greece and the US, among others, say they have nothing to do with Ocalan's abduction. One would think that they would all be competing to claim responsibility for the capture of this man whom they have labeled a "terrorist." It is ironic but not surprising that the US State Department ordered all its embassies to be closed down in Europe.

Israel followed suit.

Why does no country claim responsibility? Is it too much for the media to ask: "Why?"

slashed earlier in their mandate, cutting $7 billion from transfers to education, health care, and social programs.

Also announced in Tuesday's budget is $1.35 billion over three years for other health-care projects, ranging from preventive disease programs to research and innovation.

~nonce Minister Paul Martin didn't win the support of student leaders on Tuesday with his 1999 federal budget. The Martin's so-called health and wealth budget injects billionsof dollars into health budget introduced several tax cuts as care, but it includes no new money for well, including eliminating the 3 percent surtax and increasing the basic personal education. tax exemption to $675 for all taxpayers.

The heads of Canada's two largest student groups declared the minister's fiscal An additional $300 million is allocated to plan a failure. They said the federal Lib- the Canada Child Tax Benefit to increase erals had neglected post-secondary edu- payments to low and middle-income cation. earners.

"This budget has absolutely nothing in it to reduce student debt," said Elizabeth Carlyle, national chairperson of the Canadian Federation of Students. "It does nothing to stem the tide of rising tuition across the country."

The government's economic plan didn't impress Hoops Harrison, national director of the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations. He said the country's colleges and universitiesare also in need of a funding boost.

One must remember the "terrorists" of the past: VasserArafat (He was referred to as a terrorist leader of PLO for decades), Gerry Adams (IRA organizer for years) and once even Nelson Mandela (leader of ANC was referred to as a terrorist organizer). Now one must wonder where these leaders are today. Are they still referred to as "terrorists" or are they associated with and winners of the Nobel Peace Prize of our time?

The killing of three Kurds and the wounding of 17 other protesters at the hands of the Israelis in Germany represents a closed door. It also illustrates the international community's appalling silence towards the Kurds. No country condemned this action. This vindicates the old Kurdish saying that the "Kurds have no friends but mountains."

Ocalan's kidnapping led to protests in 123 major cities around the world .

How many "terrorist" leaders have aroused the passion of so many people?

Does anyone in his or her r~ght mind think that Kurdish people are simply protesting the capture of their leader Ocalan? They are protesting the oppression of all Kurds.

The Kurds are knocking on every country's door in a struggle to be heard. That door remained shut even while they were gassed but now their voices are louder than ever, forcing the world to listen.~

earmarked for health care.

The budget did include $1.8 billion over three years for industrial programs to improve Canada's research facilities, but most of that money is slated for non-academic institutions such as the Technology Partnership Canada and the Canadian Space Agency.

Of direct interest to researchers at postsecondary institutions is a $75-million increase to the Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council, $15 million to the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council, and a promise to provide $55 million for biotechnology research.

Robert Giroux, president of the Association of Universities and Colleges, said the budget contains good news for post-secondary institutions.

"I can understand the concerns of the students, because they would have liked the government to increase the transfer payments to the provinces for post-secondary education," said Giroux.

"Yet from our perspective we see this budget very positively because it strengthens university research."

"There are hundreds of millions of dollars in deferred maintenance alone in universitiesacross this country that are not Program, Gain solid job skills and · being met," he said. "The only thing that enhanceyourr~me throughhands~on Over the next five years, the federal gov- is going to save our (post-secondary) in- But not everyone thinks the new research funds are a reason to smile. work experience in community ernment will put $11.5 billion into transfer stitutions is a core funding increase." payments to the provinces for health development.

Learn aboutthe world Both Harrison and Carlyle criticized the "I think they completely by-passed and yourselfwhile workingandliving <::are. budget for failing to address key student and failed to address the basic issue of for 5 monthsin a remotef<>Qtion of Ottawa will give the provinces $3.5 billion concerns. accessibility to post-secondary educaIndonesiawlth a team of youth from right away to help solve immediate probtion," said Libby Davies, a New DemoB.C. and 1hcYukon. lems in the strained health-care system, Although tuition fees increased by 45 per cratic Party member of parliament. and it will pump $14.5 billion into provin- cent between 1993 and 1997 and the Applicantsmustbe:21-25, healthy. cial transfer payments in 1999-2000, up average student debt load reached "And that really is the crisis young willing to work hardandcagerto from this year's $12.5billion. The payments $25,000,the 1999federal budget doesn't people have been facing. That on the experiencea cross-culturnl will then rise to $15 billion a year for three introduce any new measures to halt ris- one hand they're told, 'go get a college environment.Infoand application years beginning in 2001-2002. ing tuition or debt. degree, get a university fom1s: 732-SIBin Vaneouvcr.totl education, get a job.' And yet they're free 1-800-889-6069or cmaiI: The money is part of the Canada Health Instead, all the money announced for in- faced with crippling debt." and Social Transfer, which the Liberals' creases to provincial transfer payments is bc@cwy-jcm.org.

The budget lays out a total of $19 billion in new spending over six years, the vast Canada \V()rid Youth Work Partner majority directed toward health care.

adventure?travel?App1y now for the

The Classical Conservative Tradition antedates, by centuries, the liberalism of Locke-Smith and BrightCobden. The Conservatism of Becket, Stratford, More, Hooker, Swift, Coleridge, Cobbett, Wordsworth, Southey stands in strikingcontrast to the liberalism of Locke, Smith, Cobden and Bright. The Canadian Conservatism (drawing deeply from the English tradition) of MacDonald, Leacock, Parkin, Grant, Diefenbaker and Dalton Camp has little in common with the liberalism of many self styled conservatives.

Ron Dart writer

Cnada

is in the midst of a political alignment. The United Alternative Conference · held in Ottawa, February 19-21,signals such a change; it should, also, raise some critical eyebrows.

It is estimated that 1500 attended the event. The most important conclusion was that a new political party needs to be formed to challenge the Liberal Party in the next Federal election.

The disturbing fact that many see the United Alternative as conservative should stirsome sort of response from Toriesof a much older and time-tried vintage. The Liberal Party and the liberalism of the United Alternative are, for those with a minimal knowledge of political theory and history, merely different types of liberals. In fact, the squabbles between the United Alternative and the Liberal Party are really about what kind of liberalism should sit on the sable throne in this country.

The Liberal Party has, with limited success, attempted to hold together the social liberal vision with their historic nod to the corporate sector. Much of the criticism of the Liberal Party in the last decade from the NOPand the Council of Canadians has focused on the fact that Chretien-Martin have tipped their hats to business elites while cutting excessively into our social programs. There islittle doubt that the Liberal Party has been tugged and pulled to the right in the last decade by the Reform Party. But the Reform Party longs for a greater victory than it has so far achieved, hence the United Alternative Conference. But, we need to ask ourselves this simple question: Is eith_erthe Reformed Party or the United Alternative truly conservative? I mentioned

• above that those who were raised and have slaked their poli"iical thirst from the flagon of an older conservative vintage would offer a firm and obstinate NO to such a pressing question.

The Reform Party and the United Alternative are liberals of recent stock, and they are merely attempting to conserve a certain understanding of the good society that took a firm form last century. It would be generous and kindhearted to·suggestthatthe Reform Party/ United Alternative are heirs of the Liberal Tradition that began with Locke and Smith. Locke and Smith have, without too much doubt, had an impact on the liberalism of the right, but the liberalism of Locke-Smith ismuch more subtle and nuanced than anything in the cruder and more recent form of liberalism we find in the Reform Party/United _Alternative.

We can, without too much difficulty, trace the family lineage of the Reform Party to the 19th century Manchester liberalism of Bright-Cobden and the emerging notion of the bourgeois family found in Victorian England. So, what are the devotees of the Reform Party attempting to conserve? They are, to some degree, attempting to conserve the Classical Liberalism of LockeSmith and, to a greater degree, striving to conserve the more recent liberalism of Bright-Cobden. Isthis, though, the much older and time-tried Conservative Tradition that Canada inherited from England? My answer, in brief, is NO.

Classical Conservatives within the Anglo-Canadian context have a high view of the State. The State, in short, has an essential role in creating a just society. The State should and must interfere with the market to protect the common good. A Classical Conservative has a passion for the common weal and the role of the State in protecting such a good. Hence the call for lighter taxes and a lighter State has little to do with historic Conservatism. Thisdoes not mean the State is the answer to all the trying political questions set before us. A Conservative has an equal passion for grass roots movements, local initiatives and the importance of communities. The attempt by the Reform Party to limit the power and importance of the State speaks volumes of their individualistic and atomistic liberalism.

The Conservative mind, with its notion of the organic nature of society, has a deep and abiding respect for Tradition, but it is quite willing to use the insights and stone quarried wisdom of Tradition to critique both the follies of traditionalism and liberalism (in whatever guise or form it takes). We live at a time when most people have little or no memory of the ancient ways, the life giving springsof the past, the permanent things that Conservatives hold near and dear. The disturbing fact that the Reform Party are doing their utmost to further undermine and negate the old ways needs to be confronted and challenged by Conservatives of a much older stock and lineage. But, let us never for a fleeting moment dare to assume the Reform Party/United Alternative are conservatives; such a thought is an insult to those who have grown up, been nurtured by and spent many a fine hour under the sun and blue sky of Classical

~

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one properly. The answer came from an unlikely source, my boss. It seemed unlikely because in most places of employment the big chief doesn't come into your office and say: "Last night I made a dental dam!"

In writing this column I may have neglected to put enough emphasis on safe sex. In "14 positions for February 14th" (vol.

6, issue 8), I said that 69 was a good option for times when condoms were scarce.

However it should be noted that having oral sex without protection is only recommended for monogamous partners who are free of sexually transmitted diseases.

For everyone else, condoms and dental dams should be put into use.

Dental dams were originally made for dental work, but during sex they are stretched across the female genitals. Latex dams are effective methods of disease prevention, but they are somewhat difficult to hold in place. Latex dams for sexual use are thinner than those found in medical supply stores and can be found in sex shops or catalogues. Pantylike, dam-holding 'harnesses' are available for hands-free operation.

Recently, conversations with friends, and almost anyone talking in the Amnesty International office, have led me to utter confusion. I never thought about it; I didn't realize that most people don't know what a dental dam is or how to use

Or you can make your own! Remember all the fun you had in summer camp as a teenager, making crafts and losing your virginity? Now you can reminisce and combine these activities all over again.

OPTION #1 Us() a Latex

~

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w

.

Dam

.

step 1 - cut off top &

step 2 - cut down the

step 3 - make sure to

bottom of comdom

length of the tube

coveriulLgenital & have fun!

area

·OPTION#2 Usinga Latex Glove as a Dental Dam

step 1 - cut off fingers & wrist of latex glove

step 2 - cut open glove up the palm of the hand close to thumb

step 3 - leave thumb pocket on one side for easy use

Are You Ready for SummerEmployment?

Does your resume and covering letter require minor repair? Have you thought about how you're going to find a summer job?

The Employment Services room provides all UCFV students with regularly maintained job boards containing full-time, part-time, summer, casual and volunteer opportunities. Resume and cover letter writing facilities are _available via the rooms five computers.

Casual coaching on interview techniques and resume writing is available, as well as e-mail, fax qnq phone services for ~mployment related activities.

The Centre for Co-operative Education and Employment Services will be hosting a resume and cover letter critiquing sessionfor all interested UCFV students on Thursday, March 18 from 1:00 to 4:00 p.m. in Room 8236.

One-on-one assistance will be available to help you prepare for your summer employment job search.

Come and see what Employment Services is all about!

Keith

Brandsma

columnist

Reading Break was the 25 and 26 of February. These are well-deserved days away from school, but they weren't for this scribe. Unlike most other students, I showed up on Thursday for the Strategic Planning Day. Of course, I'm just there because the Tyrant-in-Chief ordered me to get the story. Any other students on campus were either reading (gasp) or fulfilling some other obligation. To my knowledge, not one student willingly attended. Three cheers for apathy.

The day began with muffins and coffee - no progress yet, but a good start.

The Skipper kicked things off by delivering a few jokes and warming the crowd up for what was to come. He related how every time he stood before an assembly he felt as though he were being interviewed. Although he belonged in a sick bed, he stood before the masses and set the tone as best he could, earning respect from all in attendance (as well as Certs and water to ease his throat). In spite of the sympathy and respect he earned, the crowd was alert to any perceived stumble. To a packed auditorium, he spoke of creating ladders, catwalks, integrations, partnerships, and forming a learner centred environment.

"Learner centred?" "Student centred?" All right. But where is the centre?

Casting my eyes about the room, I looked for students. Two, maybe three, were political types. Me, I'm the press. Others? Well, it's a large room; maybe they were hidden from view. Where the hell are the students? Have they dispersed for spring break? What spring break? The measly two days we get doesn't qualify

as much of a break as instructors, homework like theirs' is the only you're taking. But no matter, nothing short of frosty mugs of freely flowing beer could attract apolitical students to a political event.

The students that do attend, though, wield a disproportionate amount of power. For example: The Student Life Working Group quarterbacked by two S.U.S.members cited the S.U.S.as a "strength." Is it not ironic that same working group labeled "red tape" a "weakness?" Student bureaucracy generates reams of red tape. Page fourteen of the Cascade's Valentine's issue was dedicated to the S.U.S.and read, " ...don't get discouraged and don't hesitate to contact _the S.U.S.with any ideas that you may have. We take all concerns ...to over 48 different committees ..." Red tape, indeed.

While students were in short supply, staff and faculty were not. These people understand where their interests lie. When the planning is said and done, the money follows the plan; if your department's interests aren't expressed in the plan, what funding there is will flow elsewhere. I don't want to be overly cynical; many of these people have years invested in the institution and genuinely care about the students they serve.

Unfortunately, a number of UCFV's longest serving members chose not to attend, and their views and were conspicuous by their absence. Many of the 'old school' were not present. One who chose not to attend explained that for a lot of the people who grew up with some idealism, Fraser Valley College was a place where their ideals could be put into practice. Politics could be put aside for the common good. Some took advantage of the good nature of others, and rifts began to occur.

As ideals are slowly eroded over time, one realizes that the real decisions are made when the budget comes down, _notwhen the letters to Santa are compiled. Indeed, how does one plan for the future when one does not know how much money is involved? What if we are working with 'x' amount of dollars? What if we get more? What if we get less? Isn't this whole exercise pointless if we don't know the numbers? How can departments tell the administrators what they are going to do if they don't know what they are working with?

All negativity aside, the process is a valuable opportunity for everyone who isinvolved in the institution to have a hand in guiding it. It's going to be interesting to see where UCFV goes over the next five years. It's too bad more students don't recognize the role they can play in shaping an environment that does so much to shape them.

Wherever we might end up, students are going to have little right to complain to anyone, except their apathetic selves. Everyone else in the institutionfaculty, staff, and management- contributed to the process. If UCFV is to be student centred, what happens to a plan centred on students when that cer}ke does not exist? ~

Ideas .&:;'.:AssertiOns.

Marc Misner

If

all mankind minus one were of one opinion, and only one person were of contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind.

- John Stuart Mill ...perhaps not in "silencing but if one person's opinion directly caused "all mankind· pain and suffering then that opinion should not become public policy.

H

- Marc Andrew Misner " ...where do we draw the line?"

Free Speech and expression are fundamental to the well being of the citizens in any society. If the worst atrocities in modern history share a common thread it is this: before they could take place, any potential opposition had to be silenced.

B.C. Supreme Court Justice Duncan Shaw's ruling, which essentially legalizes the possessionof child pornography, cannot be defended with the "free speech" argument however.

That 'society' could not exist with out drawing some 'lines' seems self evident. Any group of individuals are bound to have a wide range of differences in opinions and tastes. For the safety of society certain compromises must be made: especially if those "tastes" hurt others within the group. While the above might appear obvious to some, it clearly is not to others. For those who still believe that free speech should have no restrictions whatsoever I have only two things to say. First, you are living in la la land and second. you really have not thought this idea through.

It does not take Bobby Fisher to envision the, havoc and senseless suffering that would result if people could say whatever they wanted whenever they wanted - but just think of all the entertainment possibilities! Someone could yell "FIRE" in a crowded theatre, just to see how silly panicked people get (some might find this funny if it happened in To-

ronto or some place far away. If their girlfriend, boyfriend, brother or sister was in the theatre, however. they would perhaps feel a little differently). Or - I KNOW WHAT WOULD BE FUN - maybe we could take plastic guns into the bank and pull them out of our coats (real quick like) and point them at the teller! But the absolute BOMB would be to announce to the world that we have explosives in our suitcase as we are checking in our bags at the airport especially if we are running a little late and (for fear that' we might miss it) want to postpone our flight.

It is clear that there needs to be some safeguards where speech and expression are concerned for the safety of the community as a whole. Determining what those safeguards should be is perhaps the greatest test of any society's citizens. Justices Shaw's decision, however, isclearly outside what could be defended as an essential human right. There are a few common arguments that have been used in the attempt to defend this colossally absurd ruling.

One argument is: " ...people should be free to do or say whatever they want whenever they want" - "the state has no business in the bedrooms of its citizens".

While this is most often true it is not absolutely true. Otherwise tragedies like date rape or sexual abuse, if they are committed in the home of the abuser. could not be punished.

Another argument is: "How can we as a society impose a system of beliefs upon individuals that we ourselves cannot agree on?" To this I would point out that we "as a society" have no problem imposing other regulations (in the interests of public safety) that not everyone agrees with. How many people agree l 00%with all of our traffic regulations? Living in a community of individuals, as was mentioned earlier, necessitates compromise.

So is this argument saying that we should not pass any law unless there is l 00% agreement? Anyone who has ever sat on a committee or worked in a group can see how ridiculous this would be - nothing would ever get done!

Perhaps the most tragic argument, however, is this: ".:.people should be allowed to view or read or view whatever they want so long as it does not interfere with the liberty of others." Why is it the most tragic? Because this argument can only be adhered to if a person lives life

with their head in the sand. In the real · world people understand that child pornography requires models. The belief that Justice Shaw's decision can be separated from this fact is not only colossally absurd it is dangerously naive. If this kind of 'literature' - which directly causes exploitation - is a problem even when it is illegal, what makes us think that legalizing it will improve the situation? The decision, in effect, opens up a market for something that is illegal. Furthermore, this ruling says that a persons right to view this kind of 'entertainment' isgreater than the right of a child to be protected.

The only argument that may have a sliver of substance (though upon closer examination it quickly evaporates) is the one which addresses text or art. Drawing or writing about sex acts with children, as repulsive as that would be, does not require models. Therefore, these mediums could logically be considered to be outside the scope of the law - but only if you live your life with your head in the sand. I recently saw a debate on a local television show (Rogers community 4) which addressed this same debate. The host of the programme adopted Justice Shaw's opinion. The expert on sexual behavior that he had invited, however. said that in his more than twenty years of interviewing literally hundreds of pedophiles, he has never had a case where the addict was satisfied with only reading about sex with children. While not all consumers of child pornography g9 on to molest children, they do require material that is increasingly more explicit. Thismaterial requires models. Furthermore, according to

this expert, a large percentage of these child porn 'consumers' do go on to abusing children. How would we feel if someone forced our own relatives to make child porn? Or perhaps (to protect Canadian children) we should pass a backup law stating that child pornography can only be imported?

To those of you who still think that Justice Shaw's decision has merit, you should try reading our regional and local newspapers. Pedophiles are becoming increasingly more brazen. Three weeks ago a lower mainland man was disturbed by noises in the middle of the night. When he went to check it out he found his son in the back yard being led away by a man dressed in black. Luckily the man took off without the boy. Two weeks ago in Clearbrook a man was arrested at the Matsqui Rec. Centre for fondling little girls in the pool. One of the girls was 14 and she had her arm around her dad's neck at the time. I wonder how Justice Shaw's decision will effect the people who are brazen enough to do these acts? _ Stillnot convinced? Then consider the following: if it is true that one out of four people (a very conservative estimate) has been abused sexually, then 25% of you who are reading this know exactly what sexual exploitation does to a person. To the 75% who do not imag~ ine this: you are four years old, its your birthday party, and your drunken uncle sticks his cock in your mouth. Now imagine somebody taking a picture ...

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8 -Track

-

• J

•

Blur

Guns And Roses

Fresh from American breakthrough success with 1996's self titled album, Blur is poised to either reach superstar status or become just another group on the 90's long listof one hit wonders. Damon Alborn and company hove supposedly been experimenting with country sounds and drum · loops looking for a spaced-out cowboy sound on this new album titled Tender. It is produced by long time Blurand Madonna contributor William Orbit. Look for it on Morch 30th.

Well sort of. Axl Rose along with ex-NIN members and a mixed bag of musical contributors appear as if they ore finally going to release a new album. Arguably the biggest band of the early nineties, G'N'R hove squandered the rest of the decade through internal conflict and lock of productivity. Rumours suggest that they ore finishing up in the studio right now and that an album should surface in time for Christmas, but will Axl be able to make it without

•

Slash?

-

No Doubt

British Invasion (Again)

It seems like forever since No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom was ruling the charts in 1996with such hits as Just a Girl and Don't Speak.

Presently the group isholed up in a recording studio with Alanis Morrisette guru Glen Ballard, putting the final touches on an album due out in late summer. Seeing as the Ska sound got butchered by popular radio, look for Gwen Stefani's crew to have a new image and a new musical direction.

There's a lot happening over seas that hasn't yet made it to this side of the Atlantic. So watch out. Albums by major Brit Award winners Robbie Williams and the Manic Street Preachers look to make it big in North America and should both be released sometime in March. These bands ore huge in the U.K. Give them a chance if you're into trying something new.

•

•

Nine Inch Nails

Stone Temple Pilots

It looks as if musical genius and recluse

Out of rehab (???) and into the studio for Scott Weiland. After a failed solo attempt

by Weiland and a botched effort by the remaining members with Talk Show, STPore finally ready to try it again. The latest news is that they will be attempting to further explore the glam roots that they experimented with on Tiny Music Songs. As long as no one is incarcerated, look for on album to be released some time this fall.

Trent Reznor will be releasing a two-disc set

sometime in the summer of 1999. It has been said that one of the discs is going to be a purely instrumental effort, and the direction of the other album has been kept secret. However. Trent himself has lately expressed a secret love for the sounds of AM radio. Could be interesting, but will his faris buy it?

•

•

More Teenage Pop Combos

The Best of the Rest

As if Backstreet Boys and NSYC weren't enough. This year expect a plethora of new kiddie bands to rule the radio. Leading the way ore Britain's Steps and Bewitched along with Canada's The Moffats among others. Speaking of meaningless pop bands, be on the look-out for a new All Saints album near Christmas.

1999should also herald major albums from old-schoolers Neil Young and Tom Petty. As well, Pearl Jam with new drummer Matt Cameron, and U2 with long time collaborators Eno and Lanois (Achtung Baby, Joshua Tree) ore supposedly in the studio.

Add a new Bush record as well as Moist and Our Lady Peace. Remember. ENJOY NEW MUSIC and EXPERIMENT with something that you haven't heard on the radio 100 times!!!!!

profilesfrom my left fQot body of work for the creation of her

II

Kevin Trowbridge

most current exhibition titled Regard.

Thisshow was held at the University

Production Editor

College of the Fraser Valley's Visual Arts Gallery, on the Abbotsford Cam-

A

pus, from February 16th to the 20th. artist has created a community.

unnatural

gathering

of people

These four images were enlarged to

This

36 X 48 inches, which created nearly

came to-

gether to dine at the Vancouver Art Gallery

life size characters.

and participate

in the creation of art. Con-

my opinion of her works. I said, "My

ceptual photographer Jin-me Yoon, directed

initial impression was that you are

the documentation-style

creating an environment because

process in which

Yoon asked for

each of 67 people of Korean origin living in

the two images, one facing

the

the Vancouver area were photographed

in

viewer with the painting as the back-

front of two signature West Coast paintings:

ground and the other facing the

Emily Carr's Old Time Coastal Village (1929-

painting, allows you to walk around

1930), and Lawren Harris' Maligne Lake, Jas-

the piece and in essence around the

per Park(l 924). Yoon has in effect juxtaposed

character in the photograph, while

two different cultures and eras. The paint-

using the paintings to create a sce-

ings act as icons of Canadian culture, displacing the individuals of Korean back-

nic environment. When I was exposed to some of your other work, the ideas of place-

ground. The state of immigration and acceptance

ment and displacement were a recurring theme.· This opened a whole new entry

of Asian minorities into the North

American culture was much different at the time that the paintings were created

point for me, allowing me to see the use of that concept in the displayed work."

compared to Yoon's current depiction of the state of acceptance

of her culture into

Yoon's use of the specific images of her mother and herself with the title Regard

Canadian society. Both statements are reinforced by the title, Group of 67, which

creates another twist on her original theme. Regard may refer to the gaze between

embodies both the relation to the Group of Seven and the year 1967, a year when

the facing images of the artist and her mother or the intent of their gaze. The title

immigration slackened for East Asians. Yoon is confronting the same type of precon-

could also include how the viewer is caught in the tension created by this device,

ceptions tackled in her earlier body of work called Souvenirs of the Self. The Souvenirs

and how they may react to it.

placed Yoon in the role of an Asian tourist, a foreigner in her own country. She places one object in front of another; in essence, by doing so she displaces both.

Yoon gave a slide show and talk in the photography studio on Thursday the 19th. The importance of this event was illuminated when the well known curator Catriona Jeffries

Yoon, of Korean origin herselt told a story about when she was asked to create a site-

attended.

specific work in Banff. When she arrived in Banff someone greeted her with the Japa-

her work. Thistype of experience is a chance for the viewer, whether or not familiar

nese salutation 'Konnichi-wa.'

She "was struck by the flattening of the complexity of

with art history, an entry point into the artist's work. She by no means directs the

(her) identity in that site." Yoon's reaction was the creation of a body of work in the

viewer on what to think, but rather she informs them of her intent. She was more

form of post cards. She said, "they function as ephemera," a word meaning things of

interested in what impressions the students possessed than controlling their read of

short-lived usefulness. Sold in Banff souvenir shops, Yoon's artwork almost blends in

the images.

with the array of monotonous post cards. When we take a closer look, the images contain subtle ~atire. Text on the back in English, French, Korean, Chinese, and Japanese illustrates this irony.

For example, on one post card the statement read,

"Bankhead - 1904-1922 - explore the riches to rags drama of this historic coal mining town. She discovers that Chinese workers lived on the other side of the slag heaps."

Yoon often modifies her original concept.

She has enlarged her 4 X 6 inch post cards

to 4 X 6 foot laminated prints. Installing these types of works into a gallery changes the viewers perspective.

They are no longer standard post cards sold on the street.

Large murals in a white walled gallery environment elevate the images to another level. By making the work larger than the viewer it becomes a dominating force, while the post card size plays its role on a more intimate level.

Yoon applied a similar concept to her recent body of work ('Group of 67", previously discussed). Her original work contained two sets of 67 prin'ts,each approximately 19 X 23 inches. Only two subjects, Yoon and her mother, were chosen from the original

The talk was extremely insightful; Yoon had a very strong knowledge of

Arts&-Ent JJames

Two Pickles

Clark

I

real- deal artists themselves. I went undercover and snuck a peek, and just as I suspected, those tool boxes they tote around are filled with paint brushes.

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"W

hy are there so many mechanics around here?" I asked myself when strolling by the dripster paintings and electric plug-in bubbling light installations in building B. I put down my copy of Italian Vogue and took a closer look at what had drawn my attention. One of these boys in blue (always blue, I've yet to see a shade of khaki or a bold red) had clumps of plaster-of-Paris hardening on his shoes.

Another sported a glob of liquid light in his hair. At this point it dawned on me that these young men were not the team from Great Canadian Oil Change but

All the classic garments I associate with art are absent here. Some examples: the gloomy black turtleneck, Picasso'sred and white striped T-shirt, and of course, Jackson Pollock's splendidly snug James Dean-style jeans. I'm not disappointed but fascinated as to why a group of peopie would voluntarily adopt a uniform. I asked one of these fellows, whose style was pure avant-garage, what was the reason for the blue coverall and tool box trend. He stated the obvious. It was purely a point of practicality. Your clothes get dirty when working with the messy materials of the trade and you need a place to keep your stuff. True, but I have my own theory. In a society where artists are often portrayed as flowery windowdressing types, the whole Monet-as-a-mechanic thing is an attempt to inject some masculinity back into the profession.

Grease and gasoline are macho. Watercolours .of water lilies are not. All things considered, I would give the blue coveralls my fashion stamp of approval. But be careful boys not to get stuck in a rut.

On this note I'd like to end with a ch.allenge; next week everyone dress like truck drivers. ~

I I of interesting subplots are also explored

1=·1=i=e=r===:!...J· l....::::==J=e=f=f=C=u=v= _ in some depth. These sidelines are not ar-

Shakespeare in Love is a film I highly recommend to both serious fans of the Bard, and those simply in search of an evening's entertainment. The film is innovative, intelligent, fcist paced, and highly entertaining.

While the story revolves around the fictional romance between Shakespeare and a noble woman enamoured with theatre and poetry, a number

tificially introduced in to the film, but they are integral to the plot and woven into the story in such a way so as to acknowledge the full range of Shakespeare's literary genius, particularly his comedic, tragic, and political drama. What's more, those who simply cannot deal with Shakespeare's archaic language need not worry; rather than being a period piece like Elizabeth; Shakespeare in Love is a thoroughly contemporary interpretation and adaptation of Shakespeare that just happens to be placed in a roughlysketched historical context.

lknow nothing about art. Until this afternoon, the closest thing to art that I have experienced has been heavy metal music. As I have been told, art is something you have to interpret for yourself. Art is not so much what you are told as much as how it makes you feel. Metal mu_sicis open to interpretation because I cannot understand the lyrics. Heavy Metal gives me a general feeling. That's art to me.

You may ask yourself, "What does Metal have to do with an art exhibit at UCFV?" Nothing, and everything. Firstly, it's a shameless plug for a genre of music that I feel is underexposed. Secondly, it demonstrates how art can be misinterpreted by the public. Artists' messages are constantly being lost to me. So I make up my own.

In preparation for this article, I listened to some Metal. Metal helps me connect to my artistic side (I chose The Gummo Soundtrack, one of the best speed metal compilations ever to cause old people to get upset.). After a heavy dose of Metal, I wandered down toward the gallery. I passed many odd trinkets and other things I can only describe as 'modern art.'

While the comedic and tragic elements of the story make for a show that appeals to all, the film's political message is particularly relevant to artists of all sorts, and perhaps Cascade columnists in particular. In fact, given the substance of the film's message, and recent direction of the student paper, the Cascade's EditorIn-Chief ought to seriously consider compelling Cascade contributors to attend.

The political theme of Shakespeare in Love addresses issuesof social expectations and artistic freedom in determining how the intellectual resources of society are to be applied. As a writer-for-hire, Will

BUCKLE UP on every trip.

nikola Hie (Note to self: Find out why the medium so many UCFV artists seem to use can be described as: 'brightly-painted-junk-bitsglued-together on plywood.') Finally, after picking my way through the rubbish heap that is the art wing (very cool naked Barbies), I made it to the gallery.

The exhibit titled "Crimes Committed Only in the Imagination" shoul,d have been titled "Crimes Against the Eyesight." This exhibit, by senior art student Nikola Ilic, is a combination of interconnecting images. Our purpose, as the viewing public, is to imagine and interpret them.

Hopefully, we will arrive at an overall feeling relating to crimes committed only in the imagination. For those of you who haven't had the opportunity to view the (continued on page 12)

Shakespeare finds himself pressured to write to the demands of the vulgar, lowest common denominator, which in this particular case happens to include the Queen of England. While Shakespeare strives and struggles to i'mprove upon his art, his financial backers wish only to satisfy the demands of the crowd. If they had their way would have him produce Romeo and Ethel the Pirate's Daughter, rather than Romeo and Juliet. Ultimately, we know that it is Romeo and Juliet that iswritten, but the outcome is far from certain.

Thismessage is especially relevant to the Cascade given that the paper's direction has been weighted towards highly popular, insipid articles and not to those of substantive content. This is not so much a result of external pressures, as it is the result of inertial drag. The effort involved in raising one's consciousness above that of the lowest common denominator seems to be more than most contributors are able, or willing to give. This isn't to deny the usefulness of light, popular articles. In the proper context such articles are both humorous asides and a grounding influence. They turn one's attention from abstraction to the everyday mundane reality in which those abstract ideals must prove their validity. In Shakespeare in Love there are a number of such moments, which contribute little to the substance of the plot but make the overall experience far more enjoyable. The key, though, is context. Moments of levity are the exception in Shakespeare, and the rule at the Cascade.

This may seem to be an elitist position.

Indeed it is. Shakespeare did not achieve greatness by writing to the crowd. He strove, and struggled to write as best he could, and elevated his audience through his effort. ~

Not necessarily due to his status as an Irishman, Sean's spirit was guiding me last Wednesday as I attended a show at Animals Niteclub in Abbotsford.

The Vancouver-based group Pleasure was opening for the Kingston, Ontario college-favorites, The Mahones. Pleasure is a group of young guys from Vancouver who have a tight radio-friendly sound that I'm sure we will hear more of. Lead guitar Tim owns and operates his own Vancouver recording studio from which Pleasure will soon release its debut album,

It

wasn't long before the authorities started sniffing around. It never takes long. That's why you move so much. My brother, Denis, and I had been moving for two years. You get used to the rush.

We had been in Abbotsford for about a week before Denis ran into trouble. He was on the roof of that big green office building down town. The one beside your house. Ha Ha. Setting up a job iscomplicated. Firstly,getting on any roof top with a harness full of gear, just after dusk, isn't easy. Secondly, the second time up is far harder.

Joyologist.

He pulled his sleeve back and exposed a one-inch laceration on the back of his hand. Hishand and wrist were covered with blood.

Denis was dropping off an awning attached one to one of those great deco-brick walls. These walls are like, the greatest thing ever invented. Maybe it's "Good thing," I said. the cat in me but they are just so easy to run around on. Any ways, Denisjust about landed on some one-legged bum, who We had about two hours to kill beimmediately started screaming about fore we would go back up on the same Elvis! I had been cruising around the block roof to 'do the deed' (you have to have for three hours. we got there at seven a sense of humor at your work). We threw p.m. That means that this bum had been back a couple of beers at a pub beside sleeping or pissing or whatever in that · some bowling alley, then went to get the locked alcove since before seven chicks. You need to meet special women o'clock. Brilliant, the bum went at Denis to help with what we do. Brave women like a mad, holy Las Vegas lounge singer. who are thrill seekers are the best. Denis Usually this might attract the sort of attenhad met Diane and Lindsay two nights tion that my brother and I tolerate with before at some heavy rock show. My poor grace. We just backed slowly off brother was born and raised in Quebec; and slipped our heavy coats over our speaking to people (women) was shoulders. Bang, two honest clean cut his....forte. Depending on who you meet, citizens. convincing them to climb onto a roof-top ~ith you can either be difficult, or easy like sex on the beach. Diane and Lindsay We only made it a block. A cruiser were completely stoked. Perfect. They passed us by without even looking, but he stopped to inquire of the bum why he had no idea just how slippery what they were about to do could be. was screaming Blue Suede Shoes at two strolling gentlemen.

We kept walking.

Back at the building, Denis went up Nothing else will do. We made it around first because I'm heavier and have more the corner right by Crappy Tire. We could have melted. Instead, we strolled casu- brute strength than my brother. By the ally down the boulevard until the cruiser time he was up I had both girls into their harnesses. Lindsay was the most thrilled rolled up to a stop beside us. so I sent her up first. With the right equipment and rope, two people can pull anHe scoped us, figured we looked other one up four stories in less than ten way to good to be bad men, and said: seconds. Denis pulled at the top while I worked the "Buddy says that one of you guys belay rope at the bottom. fell on him. Wern you harassing him?"

Including hitching up · Diane, and my slower asDenis snorted, "If giving a bum a cent, we were all up in less .nickel is cheap in this world, most of them than five minutes. No one must be better off than I am. He ranted at me about it not being enough for cof- saw a thing. fee. I told him holy men like Elvisshould be content. He freaked."

The cop actually laughed. That is the best sign in the world. It means he didn't understand what Denis said but thought it sounded funny. The cop told us that Buddy was imbalanced.

I reminded the cop that Buddy only had one leg. He laughed again. He said good night and drove away.

Walking along back to the van I asked my brother if the equipment had worked all right. The score really isn't important if you get away with it. Perfecting the art is where the adrenalin is.

"I snapped a pair of pliers. Good thing the cop didn't ask to see my hands."

r-------~-----~

The harnesses were off in seconds. The clothes took only a few more. The Twister board had been laid out and the olive oil was in a hot thermos in my pack. The beer was ice cold. We stood there for a few seconds, taking in the stars and having a drink.

The fever took hold.

Lindsay picked up the spinner as I spread hot oil over her shoulders. She smiled, gave the dial a twist, and said:

I I outfit from back

The Mahones are a Celtic Rock east who have been toL..::======================:..J gether for eight years. These lads know what they are doing with just about any instrument you could put in their hands.

In a world of cheaply produced, digitally mastered recording, these guys are muartist friend of mine by the name sicians.We had a chance to speak briefly of Sean Kerrigan, in a drunken stupor, with The Mahones and, the first thing we once leaned/slumped over me and were informed of is that we would have slurred: to drink Guinness if we wanted to speak to them. Bummer, they only had a crate "Do ye know why the good Lord of the heavenly stuff. I love this business, invented whiskey?" even in Abbotsford.

Bryan

Miller

A

Uncertain as to whether or not I wanted to provoke this six-foot-five behemoth, I mildly replied: "No. Why?" He grinned at me (he's mad you know), and said: "So the Irish wouldn't

rule the

world!"

With friends like Sean I often find it unnecessary to temper my actions in public. Few things I have ever done could compare with the activities of several people I know who, with brilliant artistic flare, could only be considered as the leading causes of the degradation of moral values. Sean once lit a halfkilometer of highway on fire with the aid of forty litersof gasoline. It's tough to beat that.

The one question I really needed answered was the story behind the name of their new album, The Hellfire Club Sessions. I knew the name came from a seventeenth-century Irish legend about monks who were more famous for orgies and boozing than for piety. There had to be more.

The story came from mandolin/ guitar/bodhran-player Ger O'Sullivan: The Hellfire Club was a gambling club in the mountains of Dublin.

One night a stranger knocked on the door and as it was storming outside he was invited in. They sat down to play cards. Sometime during the evening someone dropped a card on the floor, and as he went under the table to re ( continued

on page l 2)

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Basketball

Cascades provincials

win big before Dean

Huston

Women's Basketball CC/BCAA Standings Playoff Seed w .l PTS Win =2 pts Loss=O pts GP 1 2

ble-double performance from Tyson Bault I_ I_ with 12 points and 13 rebounds. Cas-

L.:::====================::....J codes deserving

honourable mentions are Chad who had 6 points and 5 boards and Kana Gill with 8 points. The men went on to handle the Sun Demons 90-82.

sports writer

L

ast Friday night both the men and women Cascades flexed their muscle against the visiting UCC Sun Demons.

There were many stand-out performances by the Cascade team-members as both the men and women went on to defeat the Sun Demons.

The UCFV women took the court first Friday night and seemed to set the tone for things to come. It was a couple of very familiar names that led the way for the Lady Cascades on Friday.

Rachael Peters had a game high 31 points for the Cascades and also collected 3 rebounds. The other familiar face was power forward Lindsay Fennell.

Fennell scored 19 points and 5 solid rebounds.

Becky Popeniuk and Holly McLeod also had solid performances for our girls contributing 6 and 5 points respectively._ The girls went on to beat the Lady Sun Demons, 70-52.

The UCFV men continued to show their offensive firepower Friday with five -cascades scoring double digits. Leading the attack for the Cascades was Jeremy Neufeld. Neufeld had a team high 18 points and added 2 rebounds.

Other UCFV scorers reaching double figures were Pat McKay with 14, Mike Lee with 13, Jarami Reid with l 0, and a dou-

In town Saturday night were the College of New Caledonia Kodiaks. Unfortunately for the Kodiaks they would have been better off staying at home this weekend. It was an all-out ass kicking Saturday night as the men came out with guns blazing and never stopped. Pat McKay had a team-high 33 points for the Cascades. The Cascades managed to put four players in double figures with an additional four players finishing with 9 points. The Cascades completely dominated the Kodiaks this night as many other teams have done this year. The Kodiaks came in to the game with a embarrassing record of 1 win and 16 losses. On the other side of the court our Cascades ended their season with an impressive 153 record. The final score was pretty ugly if you're a Kodiak: 124-59 Cascades.

That marks the end of the regular season for both the men and the women.

Our Lady Cascades finished the season with a record of 9-7 which was good enough to put them in fourth spot. Next up for the girls are the Provincial Championships at TrinityWesternUniversity.They play Capilano College in a quarter-finals game on Thursday,March 4 at 6:00 p.m.

The men are also on their way to the Provincial Championships. They also play a quarter-final game on Thursday,March 4

~

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3

4 5 6

Douglas College Royals Malaspina Mariners Langara College Falcons FraserValley (UCFV) Cascades Cariboo (UCC) Sun Demons TWUSpartans Capilano College Blues Okanogan (OUC) Lakers Camosun College Chargers

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Win = 2 pts Loss= O pts

Malaspina Mariners Langara College Falcons · Fraser Valley (UCFV) Cascades Cariboo (UCC) Sun Demons TWU Spartans Okanogan (OUC) Lakers Capilano College Blues Douglas College Royals Camosun College Chargers College of New Casedonia (CNC) Kodiaks

(continued from page 11)

trieve it, he noticed a pair of clo ven hooves sitting at the table. You know, cloven hooves like ....the Devil might have. A scream rang out: 'The Devil is among us!'

The lights went out, and an evil laugh split the night (accordion-player Andrew Brown adds an excellent impression of a Satanic laugh). There was a huge bang. Smoke and the smell of brimstone filled the air.

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All that's left of The Hellfire Club are some burnt out ruins in the mountains of Dublin. They still exist to this day, but the story has really nothing to do with the album.

Perhaps not. However, listening to the high-energy jigs of The Mahones made me feel like I was listening to music that was rock, but it had something more, something wjth more history. These guys combine contemporary sounds with instruments and music that have been around for many generations. There is more depth and talent in what The Mahones do than in every song released this year combined.

(continued from page l 0)

exhibit, I will give a brief description of each item and what I imagined based on it.

Easier tax filing and faster refunds for students It's free, at your fingertips, and available seven days a week.

Check your personalized income tax package for a TELEFILE

invitation.

For more information,visit our Web site at:

www.rc.gc.ca/telefile/

l♦I

R:evem;e

Re,..eriu

Canada

Canada.

Canada

Exhibit-A What I saw - A television set displaying a standard disclaimer: "Warning: Sex and violence are in here."

What I thought- goody, sex and violence, that's art to me. Did he steal this from Showcase Television? If so, then it's a bootleg. Here is an artist on the fringe of society, running from the law. Cool.

Exhibit-B What I saw- a wooden cut-out of a waiter holding a program, well not much of a program, more of a title, the rest is up to my imagination.

What I felt - I imagined an artist skillfully cutting this little dude from wood harvested in virgin forests, killing spotted owls, and wreaking havoc with the environment in general. Also, he added a cool paint job. True art.

Exhibit-C What I saw - Kleenex in a box (jumbo for extra runny noses).

What I felt - It's dusty in here, better blow tny nose.

Exhibit-D What I saw - Magazines. Two porno magazines and a parenting magazine.

What I felt - Naked men and women make children if they're not careful. I love porn.

Exhibit-E What I saw- Astroturf representing a nonregulation sized football field. No ball was in evidence.

What I felt-Wouldn't it be cool if Vancouver had its own NFLteam?

Exhibit-F What I saw - A cow ple look-a-like with a drinking straw and some little ball things (later, I was told that they were spit ballswhatever).

What I felt- You don't want to know.

Exhibit-G What I saw- Gold toy tank placed on top of gold painted pancakes.

What I felt- War is cool, especially when glorified by art. I loved "Apocalypse Now." Exhibit-H What .I saw - Plastic toy flintlock pistol, painted silver.

What I felt- Guns are cool, even old ones.

Fresh paint doesn't make an old thing new, despite what auto painters say.

To me, the exhibit was a journey down my hopes and dreams of childhood. I saw the method whereby people are brought into this world (minus the bourbon). I recalled the toys I played with as a child (except for the cow pies). It brought a tear to my eye, I used the Kleenex. Basically the exhibit stole all of its creative spirit from a CBS After School Special. It has been said that a picture is worth a thousand words. However. those words are in a language I can't understand. The message is lost to me.

The highlight of the exhibit for me came not from the objects, but from a fellow observer: "You gotta see this!" he exclaimed, as he took the copy of "Jock Magazine" and went to 'show his friend.'

As he headed for the bathroom, I reminded him that "this is art, and not to be wanked with." That is art to me.

StudentSummer Works'99

Helps StudentsCreate TheirOwn Jobs Are you looking for an exciting job this summer? Well it may only be March, but Student Summer Works '99 can help you now!

All oppression creates a state of war.

-Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex (l 949)

The world has never yet seen a truly great and virtuousnation, because in the degradation of woman the very fountains of life are poisoned at their source.

A Youth Options BC initiative, Student Summer Works (SSW)was started in 1995 to create career-related summer job opportunities for students. Funded by the provincial government, SSWsubsidizes employers 50% of the student's wage to a maximum of $4 per hour. This partnership allows employers to create positions that they could not otherwise afford. Last year, as the Fraser Valley regions SSWhost agency, the University College of the FraserValley placed students in 391 positions throughout the area at wages between $7.15 and $15.59 per hour. Thisyear's efforts are being overseen by Director Dexter MacRae and administered by UCFV business student's Clay Olsen, Susan Taylor, Kevin Bartel, and Susan Allen. Students at UCFV are encouraged to approach employers about creating a new position that can be funded by SSW.The position may be completely new or just a part-time job that becomes fulltime through SSW.Employers who take advantage of this opportunity will not only be receiving financial assistance for the position, but will also gain also a motivated and eager student employee. To assiststudents in finding these jobs, a list of all SSWpositions that are open will be posted on out web site. For more information on how Student Summer Works '99 can help you or to order a 'Student Job Creation' package visit the Centre for Cooperative Education and Employment Services (room B238) in Abbotsford or contact any of the program administrators at: Student Summer Works '99 Telephone: (604) 864-4647 Fax: (604) 870-JOBS(5627) E-mail: ssw@ucfv.bc.ca Web site: www.ucfv.bc.ca/jobs Student Summer Works '99 hopes to see you employed this summer!

-Elizabeth Cady Stanton (l 848), Address Delivered at Seneca Falls and Rochester (l 87_0)

~ UNIVERSITY COUEGE

-

The l 990's may be seen by many as another decade of progress for women and women's rights. For millions of women, though, the l 990'shave meant terror, deprivation, and the need to fight for justice. Women around the world-regardless of class, culture, race, religion, nationality and ethnic origin-are vulnerable to violations of their fundamental human rights. They are united internationally by their dedicated efforts to claim these rights. Most of the civilian casualties-of-war are women and children; most of the world's displaced people are women and children; most of the world's poor are women and children. These women are fighting to care for and protect these children.

The human rights violations that woman endure are rampant partly because they are largely hidden. The world's community of governments have failed with their inability to guarantee women their social, economic, and cultural rights. They have been unable to prevent, and in some cases have sanctioned, the violation of women's civil and political rights. The UN Declaration prohibiting violence against women calls for "the universal application to women of the rights and principles with regard to equality, security, liberty, integrity and dignity of all human persons." Do something about international women's rights. Join Amnesty International. Be a part of the solution.

-

of the FRASER VALLEY

-¼t Register now for UCFV spring semester M

a

y

J

u

n

e

1

9

9

g

UCFV'sspringsemesteris cominginto bloomforthe sixthyearin a row.

Over80 courseshavebeen scheduled.

Under-enrolled courseswill be cancelled,so registerearly!

Registration: Starts Mardi 8forcontinuing students andMarch 15fornewstudents.

Instructor's permission isrequired forregistration onorafterMay7.

A$10/COU1'5e feeisaddedforregistration afterMay14.

Tuttion feesmustbepaidinfullbyMay17.Before - a$100deposit wiU holdyourspot cancellations: Courses needa minimum enrolment: of20torun.During Aprll,courses 1hat donot seemlikely tomeettheminimum wm becancelled.

Please register earty.

Most courses runMay10toJune 26.

Exams runJune28&30. location: Abbotsford andChilliwack campuses.

Tuition fees:Regular rate.Each srudent wiUalsopaya $12.50Library andTechnology fee.

Oaysof instruction: MondayandWednesday,orTuesdayandThu.rsday,orSatun:li)t Most dassesmeettwiceeadlweekfor1hree hours perday.

Hoursofinsuuction:&30to 11:30a.m.or1 to4p.m.or7to l0p.m.

Sdledules andtimesmayvary forafewcourses.

Watchforregistrationinformationcomingsoon to a bulletinboardnear you. Formoreinformationabouttimetablesand registrationfor the springsemestercall Admissionsand Recordsat 854-4501or 795-2802.

Orvisit our websiteat www.udv.bc.ca/crd/spring.html

s:u~s;.StUdeiitUiiiahSOeiety ·1

Yes, it is that time of year again ....Student Union Society Elections. Please note that, due to a change in our Bylaws, anyone wanting to run for an Executive Position must have at least one years experience on Council. All other positions are open to anyone who is interested.

Executive Positions: President Vice-President Internal Vice-President External Director of East Campus Director of Finance Council Positions: · West Art~ Representative (2) East Arts Representative (2) West Applied Programs Representative (2) East Applied Programs Representative (2) West Science and Technology Representative (2) East Science and Technology Representative (2) West Adult Education Representative ( 1} East Adult Education Representative ( l) West ESL Representative ( 1) East ESL Representative (1) West CCP Representative ( 1) East CCP Representative (1) West Students with Disabilities Representative (1) East Students with Disabilities Representative ( 1) West General Studies Representative (2) East General Studies Representative (2) Native Nations Commissioner (1) Hope Campus Representative (1) Mission Campus Representative ( 1) Agassiz Campus Representative ( 1) West Trades Delegates (2) · East Trades Delegates (2) Nomination Period Opens - March 8, 1999 and Closes - March 15, 1999 Nomination Packages will be Available at both Student Union Society Offices Completed Nominations must be submitted to the SUS by March 15, 1999 (In Abbotsford - Room A213 - In Chilliwack- Room El0l) All Candidates Forum is scheduled for March 19, 1999 Polling on both Abbotsford and Chilliwack Campuses - March 23, 24, 25, 1999 Nominees may only campaign from March 15 to March 22.

Please note the campaign regulations in each nomination package.

Exact times for All Candidates Forum and Polling will be posted.

I

are deemed "executable" offences I bled ~====A==a::r::o==n==O::t::t::o======::::·..J. by prisoner standards). We held a meeting to decide what should be done with Fredrich.

A few prisoners figured we wnter should execute him for his beating a "tard" to death. I had read that the reason behind the murders was financial gain. Fredrich had acted as a hitman for was kicking a junk habit in lock-up, awaiting trial on a robbery beef. Lying his friend, the disabled girl's brother. on the too-thin mattress, my body heat Fredrich and his friend planned the triple was being sucked into the cinder block murder so that the friend could receive his family's inheritance. If the sister had walls. There isnothing quite like withdrawing from heroin in a situation from which survived, the inheritance would have there is no escape. If you've never expe- been split between the two surviving sibrienced it, you just don't know what Christ lings. Thisfact shone new light on the situwent through up there on his lonely little ation and the prisoners decided that cross. It is the last great medieval torture Fredrich should live because he had that remains at the end of the 20th cen- acted for profit. Apparently, this made tury. The door leading out of Two-North, all the difference. Had Fredrich acted on .a cell block in Vancouver Pretrial Center; any motive other than profit, he would opened and in walked something of a have been executed. celebrity.

He was a 19-year-old kid named Fredrich who'd been arrested I recognized in Fredrich a level of intellithat morning and charged with a brutal gence lacking in the average prisoner. His murder. Apparently, he had used an strange brain drew me because it comaluminum baseball bat to beat a family bined twisted Nietzschian beliefs and the of three to death. The newspapers had ability to commit a vicious crime. I found said that one of his supposed victims was myself in the odd position of murderer's a teenage girl with some kind of mental confidant and therefore acted on his behalf at his prisoner's trial. Since Fredrich disability. The fact that she was disabled roused anger among the prisoners(crimes had never been in jail, he didn't know the against children, women and the disa- rules and as he looked on me as a friend,

I

I began to re-socialize him before he stepped on someone's toes and received a beating.

Fredrich was prescribed an anti-psychotic drug. This medication served to effectively eliminate his higher reasoning faculties. He sat blankly staring at the cinder block walls of our disenpowering. Yet when I prodded him, he would make provocative statements. Unfortunately, due to his medication, he was unable to explain his thoughts. I told him to quit taking the "bug-juice." Having never attempted to thwart our Nurse Ratchet, I taught him how to make it look as though he had swallowed the pillswhen the nurse administered them, and then to spit them out later.

Once Fredrich hod been off the medication for a couple of hours, he began to whistle. Fredrich was breaking one of the odd rules that one needs to follow when one is imprisoned in Canada. His whistling lasted through the day and into the night. He had been warned by a few of the prisoners to stop. He didn't listen as he felt that he was an overman or as Nietzsche stated. "ubermensch," and as such he did not hove to listen to these undermen, or "aundermensch" inmate's.

Again, counsel was held and it was decided to beat the no-whistling rule into Fredrich. I told the other prisoners that if they would wait o couple of hours,I would see what I could do.

I decided to explain to Fredrich the reason for the ban on whistling. I told him that when a person is put to death by hanging, at the last moment, the person inhales a last ragged breath. The noose tightens and air is trapped in the lungs.

After death ispronounced and the noose isloosened, any air remaining in the lungs comes whistling out between blue lips.

When Canada still executed its worst criminals, the guards who were in charge of death row would walk around whistling to taunt the condemned prisoners. This hold-over from the dark days of capitol punishment is the reason behind the nowhistling rule.

Fredrich correctly reasoned that he was the last person to whom this rule should apply. He was awaiting extradition to the U. S. (where the murders had been committed) where he would likely face the death penalty. I agreed with his logic, but explained to him that such logic rarely applied in jail. He stopped whistling and smiled. ~

toiling for the

·

Tyrant

Dan

writer

Sifton

At this p9int the Tyrant gives hisunderlings o scathing look and speaks....

"Go boldly, lean warrior, and do not disappoint me!"

"Help!! I'm trapped in the Fraser Volley and I can't moooove!"

Mary

"Re-emerging Goddess coming longed to place one of those out to play. Require virile male to recreThe Hive Tyrant and hishungry thralls hove o purpose that isfor more important than ads. You know the sort; "Woman seeks ate the Earth."

Reader: issues such as being pleasant or polite, loving male. Myself, witty, vivacious, born to love, blah, blah, blah .. " Perhaps it "If I ever see another dirty sock hid:I although the fe.male one can be excepcould be placed in the Georgia Strait, but den behind the plants I'll scream! Please It is with great pleasure I relay fo you o tionally venomous. I'm thinking they've story of my dealings with an individual got this all wrong. Surely there is a less then, of course, the respondents would tell me you' re out there - a romantic be too far away to meet easily. But then, male who can cook, clean and make who shall for the moment remain name- demeaning method of encouragement. that was not what she truly wanted. No, love like an angel." less.

Mary wanted to amass for herself a stack Each crossing of that threshold gives me "Chrysalis complete; mid-life Perhaps refusing to give a man a name o better understanding of the hopeless of yearning, wistful letters, every man will be misconstrued as laziness on my despair that surelymust come if I continue among them attempting to convince her woman remaking her life. I'd almost forgotten the colour of the moon, or the part. I'll give him some depth. to serve these obsessed deviants. Their of his worthiness. sound of waves on the shore. Willyou help lnsanely coloured posters that litter these He-who-cannot-be named, considered halls,they burn my eyes. Incendiary script She knew the Personals had gone the me?" high-tech route, what with voice boxes by many to be a prince among men, engraves the message of the coming called a savage tyrant by others, is a deadline forever in my brain. Only one and electronic wizardry of various sorts, Oh hell, who was she kidding? Let's be great strapping fellow with proportionate thing prevents me from becoming a but surely she could ask for letters. And honest here, Mary. Tellthe truth. Now ... talents. Hisability to make even the most mindless, gibbering idiot: the rumours of what fine reading they would make. Mary "Wanted: an erotic, sensuous,edulanguid of writers produce cannot be the gifts of the Tyrant and his minions. ,For had read the Personalswith interest, takmatched. Drained of their juices, these although the Tyrant is obsessive and ma- ing note of the clever headings and con- cated man in a fit body with a sound mind withered husks willingly prostrate them- niacal his needs are beyond our compre- densed phrasings. What few words could with whom to relearn the dance of life. selves for their demanding liege. hension. Hence, his gifts have no earthy she use to offer herself? Of course, none Me? Unloved, untouched, unapprecicounterparts. The Tyrant rewards what of it need be true, but she did want to ated. Also beautiful, intelligent, lively and brave." ~ ...blessed with more stamina than most, I pleases him, and his rewards are truly convey something of herself. continue on. great. With careful adherence to his teachings one can eventually bring a Thistribute can be considered a product Looking for a JOB! smile to his majestic visage. That smile is of said overlord's furious milking. ,o thousand starstwinkling in multicolored Checkout the Centrefor Co-op Ed andEmploymentServices succession, twinkling for you alone. Im.: A cacophony of sounds surrounds me.

AbbotsfordCampus- Room B236 agine (if you can) endless days of frolicking in the Tyrantsown bounteous garChiUiwack,Mission& Hope - Job Posting Boards "Did I ever tell you about the time I den, where sweetness and light exude was ravaged by a savage band of blind from the Tyrants very being (awesome subhumans?" in itssplendour). Thisgrand fantasy Isno dream. I have recently learned.that I am EMPLOYERS • UCFV • STUDENTS "Tales of your countless victories being c~>nsideredfor this great honour! I and cunning stunts tire us. Daily you enter urge you to request on audience with the tdgether our chamber and ceaselessly chatter.· Tyrant to see what you can do for him.

For, although the Tyrant and his minions e-mail: Jobs@ucfv.bc.ca "Knave, you are running out of hove their own agenda, they also wish time. Our leniency Is exhausted!* www.ucfv.be.ca/jobs to assistyours. ~

Dear

working

Post - It

EVENTS ·• .,,,,,a UCFV Che~s' Club Beginners or players meet every Tue., W,.~~or Thurs. l :30 - 3:30 p.m.

Contact:Richard Hamm 853.7441 ext.4441 email: fvhamr2a@ucfv.bc.ca

Intramural Every Monday, 8 - 10 p.m.

Intramural Basketball All students, staff, & faculty may play a FREEdrop in program! Show up & play.

Career Training Centre - maps available at A215.

March l 0" 27. 1999 Richard Ill. a play by William Shakespeare,@ Chilliwack Campus theatre.

For more info on show times and tickets call the UCFV Box Office 604.795.2814 or Email: theatre@ucfv.bc.ca

Every Thursday, 8 - 10 p.m.

Intramural Volleyball All students, staff, & faculty may play a FREEdrop in program! Show up & play.

Career Training Centre - maps available at A215.

Pride Network meetings.

Abbotsford campus B202 4-5:30 March 11, 25, 1999 April 8, 22, 1999 May 6, 20, 1999 June 3, 17, 1999

Every Monday.

French 12 - l p.m.

Japanese l - 2 p.m.

Every Wednesday.

German 12 - l p.m.

Free Movies All interested persons are cordially invited to attend Film l 20's Wednesday morning screenings at l O am. All films are in the original language with English subtitles.

April 29. 1999 Fashion Impressions '99. UCFV's Fashion Deparlrnent invites you to their annual fashion show and open house.

Come out and see the fabulous work of our own talented designers and crofters. Your ticket includes the show, a catered reception, and no-host bar.

Tickets: $16 or call (604) 854-4573 to reserve tickets. For more information please contact the Cascade or the Fashion Design Department.

presentsthe WoterwolkerFilmFestival If you enjoy the outdoors you won't want to missthis. The Waterwalker Film Festival will screen three hours of exciting and adventurous paddling films selected from a recent juried competition. The show begins at seven-thirty p.m. Friday, March 26, at the Abbotsford UCFV campus.

The festival isdedicated to the memory of the late paddling environmentalist and film maker Bill Mason. The festival is also dedicated to the many wild rivers that are lost forever.

Every Tuesday.

Spanish 12 - l p.m.

French 12-l p.m.

Every Thursday, 8 - l Op.m.

Intramural Badminton All students, staff, & faculty may play a FREEdrop in program! Show up & play.

Career Training Centre - maps available at A2l 5.

March 15, 1999 Sado-Masochists Anonymous. Please don't be afraid. It won't hurt much. If these words arouse your loins, you may wish to attend this informative and excruciating meeting. Sexual stimulation through the consensual application of pain is not a crime, it's a lifestyle. Interested parties please contact Dominatrix Kieth Bylsma @ the Cascade. ·

Every Friday.

English Conversation Partners 12 - 3 p.m.

Tickets available at: Pharmasave, Mission UCFV campus, Chilliwack Little Mountain Outdoor, Abbotsford Western Canoeing and Kayaking, Abbotsford Tickets: $6 in advance $8 at the door

International Ed. TravelGrant

Gallery Schedule

Students accepted for official overseas developement project contact Linda Toews @ International Ed. for further info on grants of up to $2000. deadline for application - March 30th

March l ~3 SOLO SHOW - Nikola Ilic Crimes Commited Only in the /mmagination March 4-5 SOLO SHOW Eilene Zimmerman March 8-12 Print Media Show

Mar. 10 The Exterminating Angel Mar. 17 Before the Rain

April 29-May 2. 1999 Fourth Annual Directors' Theatre Festival. A four day extravaganza, with some of the best young theatre talent in the province, featuring directors, performers and writers from UCFV and other university and college theatre programs. A tasty smorgasbord of theatrical fun and excellence!

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Coming Events for March 1999 Sunday

Amnesty International meetings will be held every Tuesday at 7p.m. in room A2l 9 (next to the Roadrunner). Everyone is welcome. If you are interested in international human rights issues or just want more information about us come on by. We will be posting our office hours soon. Feel free to come in and check out our Amnesty merchandise: posters, t-shirts and more. We can give you more information on fees and transportation for this event - contact Shannon or Amy.

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