The Cascade Vol. 21 No. 15

Vol. 21 Issue. 15

www.ufvcascade.ca

May 22 to June 4, 2013

Setting phasers to stun since 1993

FEWER BEES, FEWER BERRIES How UFV research will help pollinate fields as early as next year p. 4

Poor campaign and voter turnout sour election p. 7

Abbotsford sports to catch your attention p. 19

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NEWS

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

News

Camelot comes to BC politics

What does it take to start a political party these days, anyway?

Jess Wind sits down with the youngest member of Abbotsford’s newfound political indie darling, the Excalibur party, and talks the hows, the whys and the goals of the family-run political venture.

pg. 5

Opinion

Debunking the golden age

Do you ever get the feeling that you’re too old or too young for something you really want to do? You might be doing yourself more harm than good by trying to shoehorn your life into a predetermined schedule. Melissa Spady tackles one of the most dangerous and least noted battles against ageism: the struggle within.

Arts & Life

Sports & Health

Last Saturday was the first of many Battle of the Bands events at AfterMath. Michael Scoular and Joe Johnson go through the first round of bands and talk to CIVL station manager Aaron Levy about the success of bringing in bands from across the Fraser Valley.

After the women’s basketball team made it to the CIS nationals for the first time in UFV history, anticipation for the next season is at an all-time high.

Jasper Moedt checks in on these athletes as they forego relaxing in the sun to practice drills in the gym. Now that’s dedication.

pg. 16

pg. 19

Bands battle it out at AfterMath

pg. 6

Summer hoop dreams

EDITORIAL

Welcome aboard The Cascade

Editor-in-chief dessa@ufvcascade.ca Dessa Bayrock Managing editor michael@ufvcascade.ca Michael Scoular Business manager joe@ufvcascade.ca Joe Johnson Online editor michael@ufvcascade.ca Michael Scoular Production manager stewart@ufvcascade.ca Stewart Seymour Art director anthony@ufvcascade.ca Anthony Biondi

DESSA BAYROCK THE CASCADE

Hello there, folks. My name is Dessa and I’ll be your captain this evening.

I’m the new editor-in-chief of The Cascade, and for the next 12 months I’ll be standing at the helm of this beautiful, unwieldy beast of a student paper.

I’ve worked at this paper for two years, first as a staff writer, then as opinion editor and finally as news editor for the last year.

I’ve put more blood, sweat and tears into this publication than I can count, not to mention caffeine, beer and curly fries.

Any student involved in an extra-curricular project knows exactly what I’m talking about, be it volunteering on a political campaign, working at SUS or Student Life, or a student association like VASA or CISSA. It’s a curious mix of life-draining and inspiring work; you leave at the end of the day more exhausted than ever, but exhilarated and ready for anything. If you’re not careful, it can tear you apart – or at least end in an especially spectacular end-ofsemester nervous breakdown.

At the same time, it is completely and utterly worth it. The reason is simple: I believe in what we’re doing. I like to think that every member of The Cascade team would agree. It’s the kind of work that takes over your life, but it’s work that needs to be done. We try to keep SUS open and honest

Volume 21 · Issue 15 Room C1027 33844 King Road Abbotsford, BC V2S 7M8 604.854.4529

Copy editor joel@ufvcascade.ca Joel Smart News editor news@ufvcascade.ca Dessa Bayrock Interim opinion editor opinion@ufvcascade.ca Nick Ubels Interim arts & life editor arts@ufvcascade.ca Amy Van Veen Image: Martin Deutsch/Flickr

Fearless leader Dessa Bayrock picks up the captain’s hat. about what they’re doing with their our money; we report on and sometimes criticize new university programs or budget cuts; we help you see what’s happening in the community and hopefully become more involved in that community.

As the student newspaper, our purpose is to be the student voice – a goal we sometimes reach and often fall short of. It’s impossible to accurately and fully represent the views and beliefs of 16,000 people when the only thing they all have in common is attending UFV. It would surpass my wildest dreams if even a quarter those people picked up a copy of The Cascade.

This is why I, like every editorin-chief before me, now extend

you an invitation: get involved.

Tell us what you think and what you want. Tell us if you love us or hate us. Leave comments online at our website or Facebook page, or write us a letter, or send us an email, or walk into our C building offices and talk to us. We’ll do our best to listen.

And in reality, this paper is an extremely small slice of the UFV community. Even if you think The Cascade is only good for fire-starter or craft supplies, there are so many other ways to get involved. Start a radio show. Lobby for a cause you believe in. Start an intramural dodgeball team. Breathe new life into the anarchy club on campus.

University is about so much more than eventually getting a

degree. I hope that when an administrator finally hands you that $25,000 piece of paper, you have an urge to hand it back to them.

Paper is for kindling or paper mache the real value is in what you learned about the world and about yourself, and the experiences that prepared you for the big old world waiting outside your front door.

So I beg you: find something you believe in and throw yourself into it without looking back. Make it better than it was before – and without you even realizing it, it will return the favour.

Interim sports editor joel@ufvcascade.ca Joel Smart News writer jess@ufvcascade.ca Jess Wind Photojournalist blake@ufvcascade.ca Blake McGuire Staff writers Katie Stobbart, Griffy Vigneron, and Jasper Moedt

Contributors Katherine Gibson, Riley Nowlan, Melissa Spady, Mike Thompson, and Tim Ubels

UPCOMING EVENTS

Printed By International Web exPress

May 11 – Jul 13

May 27

May 25

May 25

Battle of the Bands

Summertime student politics

Pride hits the Fraser Valley

Big paintings, small space

Eighteen bands. Ten weeks. The battle is on.

CIVL is hosting Battle of the Bands at AfterMath, held every Saturday from May 11 to July 13. Doors open at 7 p.m., and bands go from 7:30 until 9. Tickets are only $5 per night, beer is only $5 a bottle, and the full musical glory of the schedule is available online at civl.ca.

Are you ready for some summertime student politics? Ready or not, here they come. You are cordially invited to a SUS Extraordinary General Meeting to express an opinion on the up-andcoming Student Union Building. The action gets going May 27 in AfterMath at 2 p.m. and it’s going to get politicky.

You can’t spell summer withou “awareness” and “inclusivity,” which is what this event is all about. Head on down to the Matsqui Recreation Centre for a barbecue, community speeches and a film screening concerning the hot topic of lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer existence in the Fraser Valley. Things kick off at 2:30 p.m. and everyone is welcome.

If you’re longing to add some art to your busy schedule, head on down to the visual arts gallery in B building on campus and catch the work of UFV’s Painting IV class.

The show starts this Saturday, May 25 with a gallery opening and gala at 7 p.m. in the gallery space.

All are welcome to attend and marvel at the 4’ by 5’ artwork, ranging from cats to dolls to swirls.

The Cascade is UFV’s autonomous student newspaper. It provides a forum for UFV students to have their journalism published. It also acts as an alternative press for the Fraser Valley. The Cascade is funded with UFV student funds. The Cascade is published every Wednesday with a circulation of 1500 and is distributed at UFV campuses and throughout Abbotsford, Chilliwack, and Mission. The Cascade is a member of the Canadian University Press, a national cooperative of 75 university and college newspapers from Victoria to St. John’s. The Cascade follows the CUP ethical policy concerning material of a prejudicial or oppressive nature.

Submissions are preferred in electronic format through e-mail. Please send submissions in “.txt” or “.doc” format only.

Articles and letters to the editor must be typed.

The Cascade reserves the right to edit submissions for clarity and length. The Cascade will not print any articles that contain racist, sexist, homophobic or libellous content. The writer’s name and student number must be submitted with each submission. Letters to the editor must be under 250 words if intended for print. Only one letter to the editor per writer in any given edition.

Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect that of UFV, Cascade staff and collective, or associated members.

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NEWS

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22 2013

Research at UFV leads to pollination discovery KATHERINE GIBSON CONTRIBUTOR

Summer is almost upon us, and with it the anticipation of a delicious blueberry season – a season that is now at risk, due to a bee shortage.

In previous years, bees have been sent from across the country to help pollinate the large amount of plants here in the Lower Mainland.

This year many of these suppliers are no longer available.

As UFV professor Tom Baumann explains, “the lack of previous bee suppliers, especially from the prairies, has left a vacuum – a vacuum that cannot be filled locally.”

In the Fraser Valley alone, an estimated 120 million pounds of blueberries will be harvested this coming season – a harvest completely dependent on bees.

“We need a lot more bees,” Baumann says. “Every single flower has to be pollinated three or four times to do the pollination properly.”

While this year’s crops remain dependent on this natural means of fertilization, blueberry seasons may not face this same pressure in the future.

Through research conducted at UFV’s Pacific Berry Resource Centre, Baumann and students, with the help of the blueberry industry and the BC Ministry of Agriculture, have successfully created a new natural spray capable of tricking blueberry plants into believing that they’ve been

pollinated – whether or not they have come into contact with any bees.

“This spray is naturally occurring and there is nothing synthetic about it,” Baumann explains. “It’s exciting because we’ve essentially found a way to trick the blueberry plants into keeping their fruit.”

While Baumann agrees that bees can never be replaced, this new spray will give blueberry farmers the capability of superseding pollination should they be faced with a similar shortage next year.

“Bees should remain in the fields regardless,” he continues, “but we’ve got something really big here with this spray.”

Although it is true that this discovery will not be able to aid those blueberry fields in tough shape this year, Bauman still predicts one of the best blueberry yields ever in the Lower Mainland.

“This situation is definitely not as doom and gloom as it may appear,” Baumann says. “We are likely going to cross the 10 million blueberry pound mark easily, and I am betting on 20 million pounds.”

Baumann’s expectation is a welcome relief to the industry and consumers alike – especially those looking forward to a summer full of the tasty blueberries we’ve come to associate with summer days spent in the Fraser Valley.

www.ufvcascade.ca

Image: Tom Baumann/UFV

Prof Baumann has helped develop a pollination spray mimicking the pollination action of bees.

Image: Tom Baumann/UFV

Students helped Baumann gather data and research the effectiveness of the faux pollination.

Gearing up for Pride in the Fraser Valley

Fraser Valley Youth Society seeks to bring awareness to Fraser Valley with barbecue, film screening, community talk JESS WIND

THE CASCADE

The Fraser Valley Youth Society (FVYS) is gearing up for their first annual Pride event on May 25.

The afternoon will begin with a march from Matsqui Recreation Centre (MRC) to Civic Plaza at the corner of Trethewey and South Fraser Way, followed by a barbecue, community speeches and in the evening a film screening and panel discussion.

The FVYS is a small non-profit organization specializing in services for youth ages 13-25. They focus on community events, advocacy and connect LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer)identifying youth with external community resources.

“The focus is on social determination of health,” FVYS coordinator, John Kuipers explained, “And then, looking at our target population, [identifying] what contributes to a healthy, pro-social, contributing, queer member of society, and how can living in the Fraser Valley not negate the fact that somebody can still engage in their community.”

An aspect of this is building a strong community that youth—

straight or LGBTQ—can engage in. It is out of this that the Pride event was constructed.

“The event was sort of drawn out of an event that we’ve done for the past five years called The Walk Away From Homophobia,” he explained. “We changed the name because walking away from homophobia sort of has a negative connotation to it ...

There are a lot of positive experiences that people have here in the Fraser Valley. We should celebrate that.”

This previous, similar event was solely a march, but this year FVYS is expanding it to bring in many new elements.

“What’s new and different is the location, and the fact that it’s in the afternoon into the evening. We haven’t done a public film screening before, so that’s new, and we haven’t had community speeches before,” Kuipers explained. “It’s just a little bit longer, a little bit more engaged, and I think more accessible for people.”

There will be a focus on transgendered advocacy running throughout the day, culminating in the film screening of She’s a Boy I Knew, directed by Vancouverite Gwen Haworth, who will

also be in attendance.

“We are focusing on gender identity or gender expression, because it doesn’t get enough attention. There’s transphobia ... not only in the community at large but also within the LGBT community, just because of misunderstandings,” Kuipers said.

“We just hope to shed some light on some of the unique challenges that transgendered people face but also some of the unique successes and beautiful things that there are about the expression of gender.”

Anyone looking to get involved in the event as a volunteer can send Kuipers an email at fvys12@ gmail.com. For those looking to attend it is as simple as showing up at MRC on May 25 at 2:30 p.m. to participate in the march, 4 p.m. to participate in the barbecue or 6 p.m. for the film screening.

“Everybody’s welcome to come,” Kuipers noted. “We’re asking for donations for the food and for the film screening, but if people can’t then we certainly want them to come anyways.”

The barbecue portion of the event is designed to be a relaxed atmosphere with music, facepainting, door prizes and guest speakers. Previous events of the

Image: Elsie Esq. /flickr

FVYS will be hosting a Pride awareness event on May 25. same style have had a turnout of around 200 community members; Kuipers is planning for a similar crowd, but doesn’t know what exactly to expect.

“Anybody who feels apprehensive about coming for positive or negative reasons, I would challenge them to come and to say everybody’s voice is welcome there,” Kuipers said. “Even people who are not supportive of

the gay and lesbian community – because this might be the opportunity to change their perception of what it means to be a gay or lesbian or trans or bisexual. It may reinforce it, I don’t know, but they will never know unless they come and see – and I think that the Fraser Valley really has an appetite for this right now.”

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NEWS

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

SCIENCE ON PURPOSE

Planet Hunters enlists the public to unearth mysteries of the final frontier NICK UBELS THE CASCADE

Maybe you don’t have the fortitude of James Cook or the navigational aptitude of Magellan, but those explorers didn’t have a laptop and the data from one of NASA’s Keplar space observatory at their disposal.

Thanks to the work of the Planet Hunters science team, all you need to help discover a new planet is a web browser and an internet connection.

Planet Hunters is an interactive citizen science project that draws on the power of web communities to analyze massive amounts of data for patterns and nuances missed by even the most advanced computer algorithms.

Hailing from around the globe, thousands of amateur scientists are doing their part to identify planet candidates from among countless solar systems.

So how does it work? When an orbiting object, say a planet, passes in front of a star, it casts a tiny shadow. The star’s light output blinks during the object’s passage.

Participants in the Planet Hunters project are asked to examine graphs that show the amount of light emitted from one of 130,000 distant stars measured

Image: screenshot of planethunters.com

With an internet connection, anyone can be a planet hunter. in 30-minute increments by the Keplar space observatory.

Yale astronomer Meg Schwamb, a member of the Planet Hunters science team, explains that regular dips in the volume of light indicate an object passing between the star and the Keplar’s data sensors.

“When a planet moves in front of a star, it reduces the light,” she explains. “The repetition of that event tells you the orbital period,

so the year. And the depth tells you the size of that planet.”

Each orbit is known as a transit event. Transit events can be caused by moons, asteroids, binary stars or exoplanets waiting to be discovered.

“People can sometimes outperform automated algorithms,” she says. “With Planet Hunters, we’re putting the data in a form that is accessible to everybody.”

Once users isolate a planet can-

didate from among the graphs, the Planet Hunters science team steps in to determine the relative size of the transiting object.

Schwamb and her colleagues aim their telescopes and other scientific instruments toward the planet candidate and perform a series of rigorous tests to determine sources of interference that might contribute to a false positive.

“Volunteers are very good at finding planet transits of Neptune size or larger,” Schwamb explains. Smaller planets leave a much fainter trace, making them more difficult for the untrained eye to notice.

Thanks to the help of over 250,000 participants, the team has announced its first confirmed planet, with 20 more planet candidates currently under investigation. PH1b, the newly-discovered planet, is also the first known planet to be a part of a four-star system.

“This was found by human eyes searching through the data,” Schwamb says. “There’s many discoveries like that hiding in the Kepler data set. There’s so much left to pursue that we’re just starting to work on.”

Truth, honour and justice

BC Excalibur party candidate Marcus Halliday reflects on campaign JESS WIND

THE CASCADE The dust has settled on BC’s provincial polls, but for one young Abbotsford-Mission candidate, last week’s election was just the beginning.

Marcus Halliday, age 18, ran for MLA as a member of the Excalibur party in Abbotsford. His father, Michael Halliday, formed the party in February as an independent option on the Fraser Valley ballot. The party’s ideals align themselves with the legend of the sword Excalibur, standing for truth, honour and justice.

“Those are values that we really wanted to bring into politics because right now there are a lot of liars,” Marcus Halliday said.

“We wanted to bring those in and make legislature more transparent.”

With time to reflect back on the campaign, Halliday is surprised the votes went the way they did.

“I’d spent days and days and days knocking on doors and nobody was happy with the Liberals. Now they’ve gained seats this election. That seems a little odd to me,” he said. “I was hoping for, well, hoping to win. Realistically looking at five to ten per cent, I ended up with below one per cent. That was a bit disappointing.”

However, the results have not dissuaded Halliday from an interest in politics.

“Just because you won’t take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you,” he said.

“The thing is, to understand

life more or less, you have to understand politics, understand your government, understand what’s making the rules,” he continued. “That way you can understand the rules better and make your own opinions off them.”

Halliday still hopes to act as a role model for getting youth interested in politics. He plans to stay active in the community by visiting high schools and middle schools, acting as representation for the younger population.

“If I had been elected, I would have been the first 18-yearold MLA. I think a lot of youth would go, ‘Whoa, he’s 18 and he’s an MLA? I can do that too,’” he explained. “I think that would encourage them to start running.

It would let them see how their democracy is working.”

Halliday was involved with Air Cadets for six years, gaining leadership and public speaking skills through the program as well as by working as a customer service manager at Wal-Mart.

Both experiences have given him a broad perspective on the needs of community.

One of his plans as MLA would have been to extend rail transit to Chilliwack and improve small business and tourism for Mission’s downtown core.

He positively reflected on the campaign process, everything from advertising to all-candidate debates.

“One of my favourite parts about the debate was that I was the only one talking off the top of my head. Everybody else was reading off a piece of paper that somebody else wrote for them,”

NEWS IN BRIEF Whole neighbourhoods razed

by Oklahoma tornado (Reuters) - Rescuers went building to building in search of victims and thousands of survivors were homeless on Tuesday, a day after a massive tornado tore through a suburb of Oklahoma City, wiping out whole blocks of homes and killing at least 24 people.

The death toll was lower than initially feared, but nine children were among the dead, including seven who died at Plaza Towers Elementary School, which took a direct hit in the deadliest tornado to hit the United States in two years.

Emergency workers pulled more than 100 survivors from the rubble of homes, schools and a hospital, and around 237 people were injured.

Authorities urged people who want to help to donate cash to the Red Cross and other reputable charities rather than sending goods.

Harper says household debt not his biggest worry NEW YORK (Reuters) - Canada’s soaring consumer debt is backed by solid assets, Prime Minister Stephen Harper said on Thursday, saying he was more worried about economic problems outside the country.

Canadian households now owe $1.65 for every dollar earned, a record level that has raised alarm among policymakers. Much of the debt is in mortgages as consumers take advantage of nearly five years of low interest rates to buy homes.

But when asked about the biggest risks to Canada, Harper said they were external.

“That’s what keeps me up at night,” he replied in a question and answer session at the Council of Foreign Relations in New York

Keyboardist Ray Manzarek dies at age 74

Image: BC Excalibur Party

Despite receiving less than one per cent of the vote, Halliday remains hopeful for his political future in the Excalibur party. he explained, adding that he is more comfortable without a piece of paper in front of him thanks to his time as an Air Cadet.

Halliday noted that if he could make changes to the way he ran his campaign, he would.

“I would start earlier because starting your election campaign in March doesn’t give you that much time to get up there. [I would also] look more for volunteers and support, probably go to the universities and talk to people there,” he said. “I went door to door, talked to a lot of people. I wish I’d had the funding for mass advertising like billboards and

signs and stuff, but unfortunately that’s not something I can muster out of a Wal-Mart paycheck.”

Halliday went on to discuss the relationship between advertising in election campaigns and a party’s money management.

“You know those signs run between $18 and $24 a piece for the small ones. They’re expensive, that’s why I didn’t have any,” he laughed. “Some of the intersections they have ... 30 signs for the same party all through the one intersection ... If they can’t manage their signs, how are they going to manage their money?”

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Ray Manzarek, a founding member and keyboardist of 1960s rock group The Doors, died on Monday at a medical clinic in Germany at age 74 following a battle with cancer, the group’s manager Tom Vitorino said.

Singer Jim Morrison and thenUCLA film student Manzarek formed The Doors in 1965 after a chance meeting at Los Angeles’ Venice Beach.

Manzarek’s electric organ was a defining aspect next to Morrison’s booming voice in the band’s blues- and jazz-influenced take on rock and roll.

“The spirit, the mind, the soul, what’s inside of you just gets hipper and hipper as you get older ... You get a whole broadened outlook on things,” said Manzarek in 2006. “That just naturally keeps going, but the damn body slows down.”

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NEWS

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22 2013

“Written notice” debate slows SUB

www.ufvcascade.ca

How many EGMs does it take to build the Student Union Building?

JESS WIND

THE CASCADE

The time has finally come for SUS to break ground on the fabled Student Union Building – that is, if they can make it through a general meeting.

The first Extraordinary General Meeting (EGM) in April presented the two-page motion that, if passed with 75 per cent majority vote, would hopefully allow SUS to break ground this summer.

This same motion originally passed by referendum in 2011, but has to be reapproved every year.

“The lawyers build into the motion a one-year expiry,” SUS president Shane Potter explains.

The motion was unsuccessful after former Computer Information Systems Student Association (CISSA) president Derek Froese stated that inadequate notice for the meeting was given. Although his concerns were partially addressed at the meeting, the motion was still voted down and another EGM was scheduled for May 17 to readdress the motion.

However, the rescheduled EGM on May 17 caused Froese to once again question the SUS board regarding their efforts to provide students with adequate notice about the meeting. The point of contention concerns in-

terpretation of the term “written notice,” which is how SUS is bound to inform students according to their own bylaws and by the BC Society Act. “We’ve never ever had a problem with it at any general meeting in the past, so for it to come up during the building motion was a little bit strange,” Potter comments. “We did take it seriously – we looked at the policy and the policy does state that you do require notification by written notice. The problem is the term written notice is about the most legally ambiguous term that you could possibly have.”

Potter went on to explain that SUS then contacted five postsecondary schools in BC whose student unions operate under the same BC societies act that SUS adheres to.

“We talked to general managers, we talked to presidents, we talked to VP internals, we talked to everyone that we could,” he explains. “Essentially ... they do basically the same thing we do.

Written notice is satisfied under the society act by putting up posters [or] by posting on the website.”

In a discussion on the Facebook event page, it was suggested that SUS make a greater effort to inform every student about the upcoming meeting. Potter admits that sending out student-wide

Image: Anthony Biondi

Are posters around campus enough to inform students, or should student emails be required? emails is not a bad idea, but notes that it would rely on the university to send out notice in a timely fashion.

“If we were to write into policy that [we have to] give notice through emails, the notification process would be delayed until we can make sure the university gets the emails out,” Potter explains. “I agree that we need to look at more creative ways of notification ... But for us to write

into the policies that we can’t have a valid general meeting [means] we’re going to have a lot of invalid general meetings.”

Potter says he is prepared to have a conversation about the definition of “written notice,” but feels that the SUB motion is not the place for such a debate.

“Let’s have a philosophical debate about what written notice means ... but don’t stall the building of the student centre to do

that,” Potter says. “That’s not fair for the students that are paying for this building.”

The EGM has since been rescheduled for Monday May 27.

Emails have been sent out to students from the university on behalf of SUS and posters have been pinned throughout the campuses.

Robert Batement mural honours students Wall becomes memorial for Cheryl McCormack, among others

DESSA BAYROCK THE CASCADE

Students arriving for class this month at Robert Bateman Seconday School (RBSS) were pleasantly surprised by a new sight by Palfy Park.

Image: Blake McGuire

A wall previously considered a free-for-all grafitti “grad wall” was recently painted over, transformed into a memorial mural for students who have died.

The project was inspired by a yearly battle to paint over sometimes inappropriate grafitti messages, and also

by the death of former student Cheryl McCormack, who passed away in 2011.

The mural includes the favourite animals of the fallen students, in keeping with the nature theme in RBSS.

www.ufvcascade.ca

Curtailed commentary on current conditions

SNAPSHOTS

7

OPINION

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013

Stewart Seymour

Nick Ubels

Anthony Biondi

Amy Van Veen

Beach volleyball court on campus is a great idea

Living the routine dream

Sunset on battery hill

Overwhelmed by how-to tips

The possibility of a beach volleyball court on campus has me intrigued.

I was introduced to beach volleyball last summer and I loved it.

On weekends, I would drive from Abbotsford to Vancouver to get in on some of the action. The commute is a long one but where else is there to go?

There are a few positives to having a beach volleyball court on campus. First – the cost to build and maintain would be minimal.

If a homeowner can afford it, why not UFV? Second – while our campus is small, not a great deal of space is required to accommodate a few beach volleyball courts.

UFV’s student population is growing and the more things to do on campus the better. Too many students come to campus simply to attend lectures and little else.

The more things to do outside of academic life, the more vibrant campus life can become.

The big question is whether enough students will use it, and I think they would. I for one would certainly take advantage of the close proximity. With enough awareness and promotion generated through Student Life and social networking, a beach volleyball court on campus is a great idea.

From pretentious brick-walled coffee shops to youth hostels and gorgeous alpine trails worldwide, at this very moment, the prospect of routine is getting an unfair shake.

“Fuck the status quo, man,” one scraggly, bearded guy opines.

“Right on. Carpe diem,” agrees the other.

Don’t get me wrong. Changing things up can be exhilarating, even liberating. On a social and political level, change can lead to progress; it can create a more equitable, compassionate and sustainable world.

But what I’m talking about are those little day-to-day, week-toweek, or even month-to-month appointments that can lead to a balanced life and stronger relationships with friends and family.

They can make you healthier, happier and less anxious.

About a year ago, a few of my oldest friends and I started meeting for a late breakfast at the local pub every Sunday afternoon. We can’t all make it each time, but no matter how busy our schedules get, we can count on catching up over some good food at least biweekly.

Adding a little routine to your schedule is a far cry from buttonup shirts and working the 8 to 5.

It’s not giving in, it’s not settling, it’s making the most of the time you have by investing in the relationships that matter most to you.

I remember how the battery recycle initiative kicked into high gear several years ago. This movement regarded the large volume of AA and AAA batteries finding their way into our landfills.

Now-a-days I can barely remember the last time I used a standard battery cell.

Since the incoorporation of rechargable battery cells within electronic devices, the need for standard AA and AAA cells has decreased dramatically. (Although I still find myself hunting for one occasionally to power my nowarchaic Wii-mote.)

Still, the question remains: is this any better for our landfills? We may not have as many individual battery cells being used, but what about the ones built into our electronic devices and cell phones?

To be honest, when it comes to discarding an aged electronic device, it may be easier to forget the battery cell within. Since we are no longer constantly aware of its presence (and in some cases it is not even removable without a fight), we may be more likely to discard them in the garbage.

On top of this, there is no readily available battery recycle bin to deposit them in. I fear that now that the AA and AAA have fallen into their twilight years, we will be facing an entirely new problem in the area of battery recycling.

As a frequent magazine-reader—or, more truthfully, magazine skimmer—I often get overwhelmed by the sheer number of tips that those glossy pages can hold.

How to get the perfect wall colour. How to match your patterns.

How to get your skin clear. How to get a beach-ready bod in six weeks.

How to look thinner, greater, younger, keener, sharper, scarier and older all at the same time. If you follow these six simple steps over several weeks while also coordinating the simple steps in that other article and in that book that’s being promoted, your life may finally come together.

It’s both inspiring and discouraging. I feel compelled to follow the simple steps until I realize that, try as I might, I can never follow the simple steps without complicating them. And before I can even take the first step, I quickly talk myself out of it by writing off every how-to article with a scoff, though part of me thinks I should be following the advice of this glossy how-to guide.

Try as I might to ignore the howtos, as soon as I see one advertised on the cover, I can’t resist. It calls to me from the newsstand until I buy it, flipping past the advertisements, ready to be inspired – at least until I put the magazine down and wait for more how-to tips to not complete next month.

Image: photoscott/flickr.com

The age trap: how to be content at any age MELISSA SPADY

CONTRIBUTOR

If you haven’t already noticed, we live in an inherently ageist society. In my 20s I still find myself being berated for being “too young” and simultaneously “doing it wrong.”

Let’s take a step back: when I was a little girl of eight, I often fantasized about what it would be like to be 13. For me, 13 was the pinnacle of awesomeness and I couldn’t wait to be a part of it. Thirteen came around and my newly-teenaged and angst-filled soul longed to be older. Sixteen meant you could get a driver’s license, kiss boys and sneak drinks from your parents’ liquor cabinet with your friends on hot summer nights.

As suspected, when I reached the sweet middle of my adolescence, not much had changed. This pattern has been following me around for most of my life. I recently told it to hit the road, and I’ve never felt more pleased to be exactly where I am. I just turned 24, and I’m pretty excited about that.

The thought finally occurred to me when, at a baseball game,

a 30-something told me I was “so young.” I bit my tongue to avoid being snarky, but the cogs creaked into motion. I noticed I wished I was 30. Why? What am I waiting for? Is there some kind of magical door frame you walk through when you’re 30, and suddenly the world is more mature and every building has exposed brick?

I don’t think so. There is no such thing as “the golden age.” There’s a swanky song with the same title, but in terms of an actual age in your life where everything is perfect, stop holding your breath for it. No such thing exists. I feel like I’ve been waiting for some kind of indication that I can finally start enjoying the fruits my age group can offer. BEEP! You may now enjoy your age. If only.

I see a lot of people falling victim to the flip side of the age trap, too. Anyone who tells you there is a “right” age for certain life events is lying to you. Sadly, I’ve noticed a lot of people planning out their entire lives based on which age they feel they should have x, y, or z. At 22 I want to graduate, meet the blank of my dreams at 23, date for a year, get married at 25, start hav-

Image: anjadora/flickr

Is anyone ever pleased with how old they are? ing babies/pets/whatever at 26 ... it’s nauseating to think about the pressure to make things happen.

Whatever happened to everything in due time? Maybe I’m just a late

bloomer—maybe it’s because I’m an idealist who has big issues with authority—but that seems absolutely ridiculous to me. I’m not about to let some conceptual life plan crush the dreams I have just

because I’m a square peg and it’s a round hole.

The age trap is reversible.

You’re too young to do what you want, and when you’re finally old enough, you’re doing it wrong.

There is no peace of mind. My advice? Stop letting outside influences decide what’s right for you and when. A practical way to do this is to catch yourself absentmindedly spewing this to other people. Most of us don’t even realize when we’re doing it, but we’re all guilty of telling someone junior to us that they’re simply not ready to handle the world yet or giving a cock-eyed look when a friend deviates from “the plan.” When you stop pushing it onto other people, you’ll stop letting other people push it onto you.

The right age is now. Make sure to enjoy it while it’s here. Stop waiting for the universe to align or you’ll spend your whole life wishing for the spectacular things next year has to offer.

8

OPINION

OPINION

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013

Apathy and upset

www.ufvcascade.ca

Poor campaign and poor participation hand Liberals victory KATIE STOBBART THE CASCADE

Another election over, another disappointing result. Another four years of people griping because of untrustworthy politicians, another four years of poor decisions that do perhaps irreparable damage to our province, from education to the environment to the economy.

I’m not ashamed to say I was in the other camp. I was not head over heels with Adrian Dix, I didn’t think the NDP ran the best campaign when it had the ability to do so, but I agreed with most of the platform and I don’t believe in rewarding the Liberals for 12 years of screw-ups and poor leadership.

I am not certain why the NDP did not use basic facts to take down the Liberals’ assertions about economic strength and stability. Despite Clark’s promise of a “debtfree” BC, provincial debt rose by $11 billion during the two years of her leadership, and with her government’s frivolous spending in the past, I very much doubt we’ll see that debt decrease.

Perhaps NDP campaign organizers assumed people knew the facts already, or that an orange win was in the bag, or that the population’s fatigue with dirty politics would give their no-attack campaign the advantage, but they assumed wrongly. And they lost.

Many will disagree with me vehemently (this is the nature of politics) but I think one of the most frustrating element of every election I have seen is the amount of garbage people believe. Empty statements, lies and complete folderol are bought and real facts are casually ignored. The reason?

People fail to do diligent research.

Whether they base their vote on hearsay or party prejudice, vote irresponsibly or don’t vote at all, the bottom line is that the Liberals are in power because of poor participation. Voter turn-out was less than half the population.

Christy Clark led the BC Liberals to an unexpected victory in last Tuesday’s provinicial election.

Over the course of this election, I have knocked on doors, I have conversed with friends, acquaintances and strangers, I have looked into various standpoints on the issues, and I volunteered as a scrutineer at five polls in Mission. Here are some of things I heard in both Mission and Abbotsford: “I don’t care about politics.”

“I’ve never voted a day in my life; my husband does all that stuff.”

“I don’t even know the names of

the candidates. I just vote the way my church tells me to vote.”

“I’m here to vote, but I don’t know who’s running. Can you tell me what each of the parties is offering, or something?” Because I’m not allowed to do that at the polling station, the answer to that is no.

After she voted: “Well, hopefully I marked the right name.”

“I threw away my vote.”

It’s hard for me to write on this topic because the rampant ignorance exemplified above makes me

so angry. People seem to think politics does not affect them, or they don’t care.

Yet your vote is your power.

That is how it is supposed to be, anyway. So my true disappointment on the advent of the next four years of Liberal leadership lies in the knowledge that their victory was handed to them, not by the people who participated and did their homework, but by the people who skipped class or showed up unprepared.

Image: Thompson Rivers

I guess it’s like Christy Clark said at the beginning of her victory speech: “Well, that was easy.”

To those people who did participate in this election and voted for the candidate who they felt best represented their communities and their province, I offer sincere thanks. Unfortunately it’s pretty hard for any system to function at half capacity, and democracy is no exception.

Summer semester is for suckers (or the dedicated) RILEY NOWLAN CONTRIBUTOR

By the end of winter semester I have reached my limit. I have worn more pairs of sweatpants in the past month then I have in the rest of the year combined and the amount of study snack food I’ve consumed is a little embarrassing and anything but healthy.

One of the few things that get me through that last home stretch to my finals is the promise of a glorious four-month summer break.

And I know I’m not alone in this feeling. I’ve seen the others, with their lack of makeup or hair gel and the addition of under-eye bags due to pulling all-night study sessions.

How is it then, that some of you can muster up the motivation to do a summer semester?

When the Fraser Valley is finally blessed with some sunshine instead of the usual torrential rain, I want to enjoy it, and frankly, sitting in a classroom isn’t really my idea of a well-deserved summer vacation.

For starters: the parking. Apparently when the whole student population isn’t racing to make it to class, parking isn’t complete torture. Imagine having 10 minutes before class starts and instead of battling other students for the last parking spot, you find one with ease and are actually able to make it to class on time or even early.

Imagine the amount of Advil you could save if you never again had to nurse a parking-induced migraine.

Secondly, have you noticed how

Image: Axriaa /flickr

everyone seems to be in a better mood when the weather’s nice?

Maybe that extends towards professors and other classmates too.

Imagine a classroom filled with cheerful and lively people, instead of the half-asleep zombies of the fall and winter semesters.

There’s also the lure of a reduced course load. You know that feeling

you get when you get a mark back and it’s not exactly as good as you had hoped for, and you’re thinking if only you had less responsibilities you could have managed that A+?

Well, maybe the summer semester is where you will excel. With a reduced course load you would have more time to focus.

In theory, anyway.

I have enough trouble focusing on school without the draw of sunshine and beach days tempting me outside. I can’t imagine that I would be too eager to read a textbook or write a midterm if friends were texting and calling me to take part in the latest summer activity.

I do believe that I will continue to pass on the summer semester; however I admire those who have the willpower to give up their summer break in the pursuit of further education and knowledge.

Nevertheless, I would prefer to let my brain go to mush, get a few sunburns, (because if you know me, you know I have never had a successful tan) relax, and enjoy a nice, long, education-free summer break.

Tell us what YOU think. Readers can submit one 400-word letter to the editor for each issue of The Cascade. Email letters in .doc format to dessa@ufvcascade.ca

9

OPINION

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Crumbling idol: my new-found pity for Justin Bieber NICK UBELS THE CASCADE

I’m no Belieber, but the chorus of boos that met the 19-year-old pop star as he accepted the inaugural Billboard milestone award for musical ingenuity and innovation on Sunday night, besting Bruno Mars and Taylor Swift, profoundly changed the way I think of him.

Bieber lumbered his awkward, adolescent frame towards the stage in all-black outfit, massive gold chain, and aviator shades to accept the award to rabid cheers, but when Cee-Lo Green handed him the statuette, those cheers subsided to allow him the chance to speak, and were replaced by a surge of boos.

The teen idol, the only artist ever to score five number one hits on the Billboard charts by his age, was dumbstruck. There was a palpable desperation about him, in the way he glanced left and right, looking to Cee Lo Green for assurance, putting his hand on the other singer’s accommodating shoulder before

he finally leaned down towards the microphone.

“I’m 19 years old, but I uh, I think I’m doing a pretty good job,” Bieber half-mumbled, a 13-yearold boy trapped in a 19-year-old’s body.

“This is not a gimmick,” he continued uncertainly, “I’m an artist, I should be taken seriously; all this other bull should not be spoken of.”

Bieber was reassuring himself as much as he was pleading with the audience. Finally, he pulled the trump card, taking off his sunglasses and thanking Jesus Christ before pathetically exiting the stage.

The best thing for Justin Bieber to do would have been to simply thank the fans who voted for him and leave the stage gracefully.

That’s what a more mature artist would have done. Instead, he only fuelled the fire of those that despise him and everything they erroneously think he stands for.

That glimpse of vulnerability, poor judgement and uncertainty filled me with pity.

Op ed: advocating education with CASA KRISTIANNE HENDRICKS SUS VP ACADEMIC

Since the 1920s, Canada has had a history of students organizing to create political change. Today, we have a few major options. As advocacy is one of the key aspects to the VP Academic position, I’m presently writing after a full day of information sessions presented by the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations (CASA). The sun is setting over Ottawa, and when it rises in the morning, I’ll head back downstairs for another jampacked day, along with Shane Potter, UFV’s SUS president.

When I started my role in April, one question I was commonly confronted with was “What is advocacy?” At CASA, advocacy is directed at the federal government, which raises the question: isn’t education provincially-mandated?

The answer? Yes, but no. In the constitution, education legislation falls under provincial jurisdiction, but a major component of funding still comes from the federal government. There are $16 billion worth of federal programs aimed at education. These come through Canada Student Loans and Grants, through research organizations, through Aboriginal educations programs (which are solely managed at the national level) and through “provincial transfers,” which see the feds distributing money to the provinces.

Provinces, on the other hand, deal with the establishing, regulation and accreditation of schools, as well as administering provincial loans.

With education costs rising five times faster than the rate of inflation, there is a very real need to advocate for education. The average cost for Canadian tuition in 2012/2013 registered at $5,581 – which means our fees at UFV fall well below the Canadian average (yay!). Still, the average student loan balance following completion of a degree is just under $13,000, and government cuts to education are likely to push that number

Whatever you think about his music, Justin Bieber’s cataclysmic fame has only stunted his development. I was appalled at his careless and self-absorbed message left at the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam (in which he ponders whether Frank “would have been a Belieber”) and tabloid headlines that continue to chronicle the saga of a troubled young star. So yes, he’s arrogant, but he’s been groomed to be that way since his discovery on YouTube six years ago. When you’ve been told from the time that you were a preteen that the world is your oyster, you start to believe it’s true.

His arrogance is also incredibly defensive. He’s keenly aware of the hordes of anonymous online bullies determined to tear him down at every chance they get. Bieber was built to be the pop music behemoth he’s turned into, and from his brief speech on Sunday night, it’s clear that he’s capable of much else than churning out hits and performing show after show to line the pockets of the managers and producers that

made him what he is today.

The most vehement critics of Justin Bieber conflate the actions of a 13-year-old kid with an unlimited bank account and the music he is producing. Led Zeppelin? Don’t get me started on their debauchery and callous manners. But that’s apparently okay. Because they “rock.”

I call bullshit.

The on-going saga of Justin Bieber’s mercurial rise to fame is one that fills me with sadness and dread, sadness for his tragically erased adolescence and dread for what might become of this 19-yearold kid who is beginning to crack under the pressure of his own fame.

He traded his youth for fame and success, and that’s a heavy burden to bear. People love to blame Bieber for a supposed decline in the quality of popular music, but meticulously-controlled pop stars like Bieber have been par for the course since the hey-day of another Canadian teenager: Paul Anka.

Besides all that, Bieber likely has very little artistic control over the

music released under his name.

The next five years are a crucible in which he will have more freedom to create the kind of work that he really wants to. Look what happened with Timberlake, another cookie-cutter performer who’s come into his own in his 20s.

And to those who think music is dead, take your head out of the sand and fix that broken radio dial stuck on the comforting pablum of Rock 101. A little exploration and you’ll find an abundance of groundbreaking, arresting, vital new music to choose from.

Don’t take out the frustration of your self-imposed musical exile on the hapless 19-year-old kid with the smooth R & B voice. Behind those massive aviators, headline-grabbing exploits, and self-absorbed arrogance is a scared teenager denied the hard lessons of high school and a regular adolescence.

Letter to the editor

RE: The library is no getaway for students

Image: Sean MacEntee/ flickr.com

CASA is a national student advocacy group.

higher.

These cuts are being felt across the nation, though governments are pointing to funds directed at skills training to deter our attention from the less-than-satisfactory funding going to universities.

While I certainly applaud funds directed at skills training, as our trades, technology, and healthcare programs will likely benefit from this financial attention, I can’t help but wonder if the skills gained in the sciences and arts will be recognized in these programs.

“You can’t simply build a modern economy without investing in world-class research.” So said our honourable Prime Minister in September of 2011. The return on education is estimated at $3 for every $1 spent. So why isn’t the government investing more in education?

I think it’s time that we bring this question to our MPs and MLAs, over and over. Let’s demand that education be viewed at the longterm investment in our economy that it really is.

Image: Patti Wilson

One of the new group study tables recently added to UFV’s library.

On behalf of the UFV Library, I’d like to respond to Katie Stobbart’s opinion piece in the May 8, 2013 issue of The Cascade.

In order to facilitate the different needs of library users, the UFV Library has established zones for quiet conversation and for silent study. In Abbotsford, the entire first floor is designated as “Quiet Conversation.” Since 2008, we have removed the majority of the individual study carrels, and replaced them with group study tables and chairs. We have also added some clusters of comfortable easy chairs. This re-

vamped area is a popular place for small groups to meet and converse, and for individuals who prefer to spread their work out on a table. The area is light and bright, with a great feeling of openness. Conversations abound.

For library users who need a more silent atmosphere in order to concentrate, the second floor is designated as the “Silent Study” zone, with individual study carrels only. The expectation in this area is for users to study independently, without conversation. I agree with Katie that these carrels are large, enclosing, light-blocking cu-

bicles. We have been gradually replacing these carrels with smaller, lower-sided carrels. I hope that we receive more capital funding in the future to continue to update this furniture.

For more details on the library’s study zones, please see the UFV Library Noise Policy on our website. http://www.ufv.ca/library/library-services--policies/noisepolicy/ Yours truly, Patti Wilson University Librarian (Interim)

10

ARTS & LIFE FEATURE

UFV Fashion Show: A soul behind beauty

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

bsolute Style is an annual culmination of countless hours of work on the part of UFV’s Fashion Design students. It is es-

pecially monumental to the graduating students of the fashion program as their own version of a convocation ceremony.

By Griffy Vigneron Runway images by Blake McGuire Workshop images by Griffy Vigneron

With hours spent on the design and creation of garments over the

course of the two-year program, the fashion show is not simply a glamorous send-off. There is personal meaning and accomplishment behind it – the chance for the students to finally have their hard work and creative direction brought beautifully and vibrantly to life.

The energy and glamour of the runway With seemingly effortless grace, the show’s models pulled off each of their designer’s styles. In perfect time, their flowing movements captured the audience’s imagination – safari prints, Russian chic, exotic Thai and the simple elegance of modern minimalism.

Hip, catchy music followed the models down the runway, matching their steps, beat for beat – flitting amidst their twists and turns. Amongst the class of the outfits, the music captured the energy of the graduates.

With completion grasped and cutting edge designs released on the world, the music swept up the audience in the moment.

It was all with good reason. The fashion show is an exciting place, an exciting time for the students.

In its glamour and glory, it was easy for the show’s viewers to forget the hard work, to be whisked away in the dance of designs.

After watching the students work for several weeks, as I had, it seemed too simple.

It was too easy to forget the meaning behind the beautiful outfits.

And then, with one of the graduating students’ collections, the melodic voice of Lana Del Rey floated through the collections elegant dresses. It stood out among the upbeat melodies.

“Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful/ Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul...”

Eerie and magical, it spoke past the surface, past the visual front.

The voice cried for recognition beyond visuals, beyond elegance and class. It wanted to be loved for who and what it was. And I felt it spoke not simply to the surface frivolity of fashion, but to the soul of each design – the work and inspiration behind it all.

Design: choices and inspirations It can be surprisingly hard to see inspiration in a fashion class hard at work, especially when they’ve only got a few weeks left to complete the garments for their graduate collections. In one room cut patterns were strewn over the tables. In another, mechanical whirring could be heard from sewing machines. Students were so busy trying to complete things inspiration seemed to be the last thing on their mind.

In the last semester of the two-year fashion diploma program, each student is required to design a collection of clothing, which they will eventually present to a panel of judges. Out of 12 garments designed for the collections, three outfits are chosen for actual creation.

While the creation is mainly technical and hands-on work, it is the initial garment designs that began with a creative idea.

Inspirations varied from momentary light-bulb moments to more profound personal attachments.

Well-dressed and artsy, Matthew Ganzales sported a t-shirt and a pair of dress pants with suspenders thrown over the top. He looked a lot like his designs, which he explained were inspired by his recent viewings of the movie **Snatch.

“I love the British gangster ‘80s look, like layering plaids and prints together, to create like this kind of semi-formal idea,” Gonzales explained. He described how his designs could be classified with an Ivy League dandy idea behind them.

Bitty Berlinghoff is cheery, quirky and energetic. Her inspiration had a deeper story behind it, and held a specific meaning to her personally. Every summer she travels to Thailand to work with children in an orphanage. In an effort to be cool, she said the children often mix more modern North American hand-me-downs with their less “cool” but traditional Thai clothing.

About her collection’s look, Berlinghoff said, “It’s kind of street-inspired as well as Thai-inspired.”

While in Thailand she also collected snippets of traditional Thai fabrics that were hand-embroidered by the women there. She incorporated them into her designs.

“The fabrics are kind of like a badge of their history,” she said. “It shows what they come from, and where they’re going.”

Friendly and bubbly, Alysen Cox’s designs are as bright and vibrant as her personality. Jungle-themed and pushy, they involved some very creative uses of textiles.

In one design, zebra print flashes daringly from the underside of a wide frilly dress.

“My design was inspired by the jungle,” Cox explained. But it wasn’t how she started. “I think I [initially] got an inspiration from one picture that I saw of a leather fringe on a jacket. I was like, ‘that’s really cool.’ I wanted that at the very beginning but then [the instructors] said ‘no’ so I had to come up with a different idea.”

The instructors have a say over what the students finally decide on. Two different fashion line ideas need to be pitched to the instructors before a decision is made.

“I had one as my jungle theme and one ... was more beachy. They just asked [me] which one would [I] prefer, and I said jungle,” Cox explained.

Of course it doesn’t end there. Inspiration is simply the beginning of lengthy journey of work. Designing something is one thing, getting it to work can often be another.

“The designer has such a crazy idea,” Cox said, “but then actually sewing the garment is a whole different story ... We have our crazy ideas, and then [our instructor’s] like ‘no, this is how it really goes.’”

Every design starts with inspiration trans

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Garment construction and alterations Fashion students were hard at work completing their designs. Papers laid about from pattern drafting and a student fussed over a dress pinned to a mannequin. Chatter swept the room sporadically, but there was a heaviness to the air. It’s not a depressed sort of heaviness mind you, more of a focused intensity.

Inspiration had passed, now students just wanted to get the work done. Even though they were working hard, many of them would be at the school late. And not 5 p.m. late, but 11 p.m. late. According to Berlinghoff and fellow fashion student Marlie Reines, this was a normal occurrence in a five-day or more week.

Garments first start out on the drafting table. Patterns must be drafted first, which can be difficult.

“It’s hard to plan for fit when you’re using paper,” Raines said. “Paper to fabric changes and then the fabric to human changes.”

Raines was working on a ballerina-themed collection. While she’s not dedicated to fashion, she’s dedicated to completing the program. While more than half of the students in the program have already dropped out, she refused to give up and buckle under the workload. Raines wanted a sense of completion, and continued to work hard for it.

As long as students keep on top of their garment construction, they can keep up.

Formal class times help out for this. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, instructors were in for several hours to help students in any way possible. During this time the students list their problems and wait for an instructor to help them out.

“You have to save all your problems for Tuesday, and then be like, ‘Oh my gosh, help me with all these things.’ Then you have to work really hard until Thursday and then [again] be like, ‘Oh my gosh, help me with all these things!’” said Berlinghoff.

Berlinghoff’s Thai-inspired collection included a pair of leather, tight-fitting pants.

Just like many of the other students she had to make several copies each with new adjustments, before the final copy. The copies are called muslins, like the cheap cotton-type fabric often used to make practice garments.

Muslins allow for fittings and refittings.

They also allow for mistakes, although simple mistakes that involve re-stitching don’t necessarily require a new muslin and can be a pain.

“If you mess up an essay you can just [press] control+Z and go back and fix it, right? But if you mess up stitching you have to sit there and very patiently, painstakingly take it back apart,” said Berlinghoff.

In order to get the right stretch and make her pants truly skin-tight, Berlinghoff used the same Thai fabrics as her final piece.

“If I used something else that was a different stretch, it would just be silly. Then the fit wouldn’t be right,” said Berlinghoff. To use leather would have come to about $200 for each muslin. Instead, Berlinghoff simply stiffened cotton fabric with a heavy backing

sferred to paper.

11

ARTS & LIFE FEATURE to get a similar result.

Along with the other students, Berlinghoff had to make adjustments to the garments to fit models. If she was going to have tightfitting pants, they had to be the right size.

Modeling It is the models who are tasked with bringing the student’s designs to life on the runway. They’re the ones who get to pull the inspiration and vision back after the gruelling hours of garment construction.

The models came from all sorts of places.

Some tried out after hearing about the fashion show through friends in the fashion program. Others heard about it as students of UFV in other programs, and others still were professional models who wanted more experience for their resumes.

All models volunteered their time, participating in training sessions, a photo shoot and a rehearsal over the weeks preceding the show. Many of the sessions lasted several hours.

The photo shoot, in particular, was a busy day. While students ran around fitting garments to their models, photos were taken, hair was put up, and other models dressed or hurriedly switched outfits.

Jennifer Vandergoot was one of the models, bright-eyed, tall and gorgeous. At only 15 she’s been busy making a name for herself as a professional model both internationally and locally through the modeling agency Pizazz. Not only does the UFV fashion show offer her a unique experience, it’s also a good way to get modelling photos which can cost a lot.

For model training, Vandergoot described her experience. “I think it’s really good because every show has their own unique sort of look that they want you to walk for. This one’s really cool. It’s a little more relaxed than [something like] Vancouver fashion week, it’s a little bit more of the catwalk ...

It’s really fun and playful and I enjoy it!”

Vandergoot was one of three models that are chosen to wear one of Carly Ecklebrecht’s three collection outfits for the show.

Like many of the other students, Ecklebrecht worked closely with her models to make sure her garments look right on the runway.

“The most important thing is fit ... It will look terrible going down the runway if it doesn’t look like it’s made for the model,” Ecklebrecht emphasized.

Finishing touches: make-up, hair, and accessories Accentuating outfits is no small feat. To really pull together an outfit a variety of people and organizations are required, and not just the designers.

Hair and make-up were an effort somewhat on part of the students, but largely on the part of volunteers and students from Utopia Academy and the Blanche MacDonald Centre.

For the photo shoot and fashion show, hair stylists and makeup artists are given images that show them what the designers are looking for. They haven’t seen the designs before, so they do their best to follow the designs and make them work.

Karishma Ram, a volunteer with the Blanche Macdonald Centre, described the wide variety of makeup styles.

“We’ve got someone here doing safari theme, we have someone who’s doing very neutral brown smoky eyes. It really just depends on the designer and what they’re looking for. We’re adding gems to someone’s eyes later on just because part of her outfit is having gems along her eyes,” Ram said.

The designer Matthew Gonzales wanted his “Ivy League dandies” to hold some classic gangster charm. He asked for dark makeup around his models’ eyes, hoping to create what he calls the look of a “classy corpse.”

While Gonzales’ accessories came from his own personal collection of hats, not all student accessories did. Instructors collect a lot of accessories which students can choose from to add to their designs. On the day of the photo shoot, shoes and hats were lined up as models came out of the dressing

rooms. The instructors, Deanna Devitt and Bev Fanzega threw out accessory suggestions as the models went off for their photos.

Berlinghoff still wasn’t quite certain about accessories for one of her designs after the photo shoot.

“My [model is] wearing like super-short hot pants. What shoes do you wear with super-short hot pants?” she laughed, exasperated. “I don’t know. I’ve never worn them.

It’s hard. I think she’s going to wear high socks.”

By the show she had decided on dark tights, with wild hair and hip high heels to emphasize her modern street-wear look.

The curtain closes After the show the recent fashion graduates lingered, chatting with friends and family. Ning Hao, recipient of the textiles award and finalist of the Télio’s 2013 Canada’s Breakthrough Designers competition, was emotional. Berlinghoff was excited, happy to be completed with the program, and already lining up an internship and a potential job. Other students, like Raines, were a tad uncertain, still a little taken aback that all their hard work was completed for the time being.

As the crowds left the building and the voices began to die down, it was not just the images that stayed with me, but the indomitable spirit of the 11 graduating fashion students.

With an initial 25 students in the program, they were the 11 who had stuck it out, and the results were stunning. Not just in the designs, but also in what they seemed to take away from the program.

“The one thing this program teaches you [is] a work ethic like no other. You learn to soak hours and hours of your life into something. It gives you a good perspective [and] skills you can carry on to other facets of your life that aren’t fashion related,” graduate Ecklebrecht said, reflecting on her experience. “You don’t see [it] on the outside, you see a fashion show. You don’t see a work ethic that’s been taught, [and it’s] one of the biggest things I’ve taken from this program.”

The final product hit the runways in April.

Going from paper to model reality is another story.

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CROSSWORD 1

ACROSS

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9 11 12

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EclipseCrossword.com

by AMY VAN VEEN

4. This British comedic genius first started The Office in the UK and played the boss David Brent before it was reworked for American audiences. (5, 7 letters) 6. The Michael Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure is a charity run created to find a cure for this disease. (6 letters) 9. Office writer/producer Schur plays Dwight’s more awkward cousin. (4 letters) 11. This salesman has a heart attack when Dwight fakes a fire and locks everyone into the office to teach them about the importance of fire safety. (7 letters) 13. Phyllis marries this man who owns a refrigeration company. (3, 5 letters) 14. This Dunder Mifflin employee in charge of quality assurance was once in the band The Grass Roots, faked his own death and has a distinct old-man smell. His character name is also his real name. (5, 7 letters)

DOWN

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That’s what she said: Farewell, The Office

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WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013

1. ____ Malone is the loveable accountant who sits across from the stone-faced Angela and giggles when he turns the thermostat up to 69 degrees. (5 letters) 2. Ed Helms, member of the Hangover wolfpack, plays ____. (4 letters) 3. Jim spontaneously proposes to Pam here. On the side of the highway. In the rain. (3, 7 letters) 5. The real city of Scranton is situated in this state. (12 letters) 7. Dwight farms this kind of vegetable. (4 letters) 8. Michael Scott finally finds someone weird enough to marry when he meets this new HR representative for the Scranton office. (5 letters) 10. In season three, Michael begins a tumultuous relationship with Jan by inviting her to go to Sandals resort in this Caribbean country. (7 letters) 12. This Florida-based company, led by CEO Jo Bennett (played by Kathy Bates) bought out Dunder Mifflin in the sixth season. (5 letters)

LAST WEEK’S Answer Key Across 1. CURLYFRIES 3. POTATO 6. CHERRY 7. HOTDOG 8. WATERMELON 10. BURGER 11. BLACKBERRIES Down 1. CORNONTHECOB 2. SPITZ 3. POPSICLE 4. SHISHKEBAB 5. LEMONADE 9. SMORES

The Weekly Horoscope Star Signs from Galompicus Phonx Aquarius: Jan 20 - Feb 18

Gemini: May 21 - June 21

Libra: Sept 23 - Oct 22

Look at the moon, but don’t look at the sun. Watch some stars, but not that big one. You will go blind. And if you do go blind, it’s your own damn fault.

Stop taking pictures of your cat. He’s trying to nap and you’re pissing him off.

Watch out or you’ll get stamped. Literally, you’ll be covered with stamps of all shapes and sizes.

Pisces: Feb 19 - March 20

Cancer: June 22 - July 22

Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21

If you step on a crack in the sidewalk, you will break a back. Not necessarily your mother’s. It’s more of a proximity thing.

As soon as you start to complain about the sun, it just gets hotter and burns up our atmosphere. So keep complaints to yourself and silently seek out shade lest you be a bummer to your friends and burn up our little planet.

The political gremlin is going to come get you for not voting. You really should have voted.

Aries: March 21 - April 19

Leo: July 23 - Aug 22

Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21

Don’t give up! Time travel is possible! It’s just that no one wants to travel back to our shitty era to tell us, so it hasn’t been confirmed.

Remember that time you said you were going to keep up on your readings this semester? Yeah, we all know you failed, so open the damn book.

Taurus: April 20 - May 20

Virgo: Aug 23 - Sept 22

Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19

Beware of otters. They are hatching a plan to take over the world by having everyone fall in love with them before enslaving the gullible human population.

Beware of the coming urge to rip off all your clothes and jump through a window.

Although it would solve all your problems, it would result in years of therapy for everyone else.

Please don’t just read the headline of the sex article this week. Read the whole thing. Otherwise you might make a huge mistake.

If you use paper, you will kill trees. If you make campfires, you will kill trees. If you live in a home, you have killed a tree.

Solution? Live in a tree. You will not kill it.

You’ll just annoy it for a little while.

We’re hiring for ONLINE EDITOR. Find more information at ufvcascade.ca/employment or email Michael@ufvcascade.ca

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Book Review

Advent by James Treadwell KATIE STOBBART

THE CASCADE

In a word: compelling. In this debut fantasy novel, Treadwell proves himself a skilled weaver of story and suspense, and lives up to the promises of umpteen reviews on the back cover which compare his work to the novels of Susan Cooper and Philip Pullman.

The story begins with a glimpse of a December night in 1537 and the flight of “the greatest magus in the world.” With him he carries all the magic in the world, and he is headed to attain one of the most famous human desires: immortality. Throughout the novel there are further scenes from the distant past which reveal the magus’ identity and the way his tale intertwines with the events to come.

The main character in the story has less impressive beginnings (isn’t that always the way?) and we first find him on a train from his home in the city to a remote village “as far away as you could go without leaving England altogether.” He is on his way to see his Aunt Gwen in Cornwall but, as the back cover promises, “no one will be there to meet him.”

At first I was concerned that Gavin would be too “nobodylikes-me” and “I’m-so-misunderstood” (while one reviewer cited this attitude as a reason to relate to the main character, I often find it irritating), but I found that I enjoyed watching Gavin’s character develop over the course of the novel, and Treadwell thankfully did not beleaguer the reader with much more “poor-me” from Gavin as Advent progressed.

There are two strong pillars holding up this story. The first is the plot. Advent is suspenseful, intriguing, and full of “Wow, how are you going to tie that in?” elements which did actually integrate. There were some moments, especially in the beginning, when I found myself thinking, “Is this particular thing so important to mention in detail?” But these thoughts were soon followed up with cartoonstyle light bulbs illuminating in my head.

The second, which is inexorably tied to the plot, is the wealth of history and mythology contained within this portent of the world’s seemingly inevitable return to magic (or vice versa). The representation of magic in Advent is well

thought-out and grounded in that wonderful storytelling realm of “it could actually happen.” Treadwell skilfully uses his knowledge of mythology to suspend disbelief for the reader and freshly interpret some of the more mysterious characters of the past.

The real disappointment of this novel is having to wait for the next book. Advent is the first installment of a trilogy. Its sequel, Anarchy, is set to be released in North America

by September, and Treadwell tells readers to prepare themselves for “gods, demons, bicycles and Canadians.” Canadians! And not only Canadians, but apparently Vancouverites! Exciting stuff.

Overall, Advent is an excellent read and though the main protagonists are young, it would be grossly unfair to pigeonhole this novel as exclusively young adult; there is much to entertain the minds of mature readers. I will probably reread it before reading Anarchy. It is definitely worth bumping to the top of your summer reading list!

Dine & Dash

Phuket Thai

Image: Andrionni Ribo/Flickr

Phuket Thai has the best Thai iced tea in the Fraser Valley.

33785 Essendene Avenue, Abbotsford (604) 746-2229 Hours: Mon – Sat; 11:30 a.m. – 10 p.m. & Sun 5 p.m. – 10 p.m.

Haute Stuff

Jewelry for a minimalist AMY VAN VEEN

The cascade

Some people have a lot of fun with jewelry – layering necklaces, wearing rings on every other finger and bangling up. But for others, the idea of wearing that much stuff makes us feel more like a Christmas tree, dressed to the nines and feeling ridiculous.

Our aversion to bling doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate the occasional touch of something shiny, we just don’t like the idea of wearing our weight in gold and silver.

How can we still have fun with it then? How can we dress up without feeling like we’re “dressing up?” There are a few ways to have fun with jewelry without feeling like Mrs. Potato Head.

First, the pendant. The wonderfully simple and still overly fun necklace with a simple chain and a single pendant piece is the perfect chance to add something special to your outfit. Don’t be discouraged by the likes of your mother’s favourite shopping channel pendant necklaces. You don’t have to be constrained to your birth stone

– especially not when there are so many adorable items out there to hang from necklaces. Like a little teapot or a small birdcage. One perusal through the jewelry section of ModCloth.com and you’ll be adding things to your checkout at an alarming rate.

Second, a single ring. There are a lot of rings that catch our eyes as we absentmindedly try them on in stores – most of them ridiculous like a bauble the size of a standard disco ball and a flower that could fit nicely in a full-size urn. But some are pretty cute.

Simple bands with small bows, gems or birds adorning them.

There are some monster rings – like the ones that go all the way up one finger, or the doublefinger rings that look more like brass knuckles. Some are a little louder than others and scream out in brazen attention, but the ones made of a more matte metal without any bling are fun to wear as the only piece of jewelry – just something to spice up a jeans and t-shirt combo.

Finally, the bracelet. After a while, the clinky racket of bangles sliding up and down the

forearm and the fact that loose bracelets move back and forth and back and forth with every minute movement of the arm gets intensely irritating. But fear not, there are other wrist-wear options. The cuff and the watch have made a comeback as the immovable and highly noticeable wrist adornments. The cuff can be flashy, of course, but it can also be understated with solid gold, matte metal cut-outs and of-themoment leaves that wrap around your wrist and give any old outfit a quick pick-me-up. The watch, too, has many faces (pun intended), with the chunky old-man style or the more demure, thin leather bands – watches have a certain air of distinction that says, “I don’t need my phone to tell the time.”

If you’re more drawn to the simpler side of things and the idea of wearing all your jewelry at once gives you a teeny-tiny panic attack, add just one piece when your outfit feels lacklustre, and you’ll feel that much more put together.

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GRIFFY VIGNERON

THE CASCADE

From the outside, Phuket Thai is unassuming. It’s a hole in the wall. Even its sign is barely noticeable. The entranceway leads you through a dingy, dim corridor before you even get to the restaurant.

But I decided to give it a chance anyway. And was I ever glad I did.

It certainly wasn’t the decor that got me. While not terrible, it lacks cohesion. While one half evoked the feel of a grungy smoky bar, the other a little like a run-down schoolhouse. White paint peeled off wood panelled walls and a few semi-exotic paintings hung on mostly bare walls. That’s not to say it was not somewhat charming. It was simple and minimalist. In its unassuming fashion, it was like walking into a space lost in mixed time. There was almost a sense of nostalgia.

It wasn’t the service that got me either. For a while my guests and I sat without water and menus. We twiddled our thumbs as the table next to us was tended.

But it wasn’t a terribly long wait, and as there was only one waitress tending the entire storefront we couldn’t complain too much.

Plus, while we didn’t get started right away, our food arrived in a pretty timely manner.

And the food was delicious.

The presentation was also pretty professional. These weren’t meals from your mom’s kitchen delivered on home-styled mismatched plates. The food came in fresh eye-catching colours and stood out well against the white modern dishware. Across the table, a friend had ordered the Tom Yum soup. It came in an ex-

otic punchbowl-style soup dish, made of clouded tin. It even had a ventilated spot underneath for a candle to be used to keep the soup warm.

As for flavour, I’ll have you know I’m a sucker for exotic and unusual flavours – especially when they’re not tasteless watered-down North American versions. Thai food is a refreshing mix of spices, creamy sauces and sweet fruity flavours, especially when it’s done right.

The curry I ordered was sumptuously Thai. Subtle coconut cream melded in with strong fresh tasting spices. The flavours were so powerful they burst brilliantly over taste buds.

And the Thai iced tea was to die for. As a devoted Thai food lover, Thai iced tea is my absolute favourite. It’s a most unusual blend of sweet and smoky flavours. There’s nothing I can compare it to in North American fare. Searching through the Fraser Valley’s Thai restaurants has left me unsatisfied; not one offers the true Thai iced tea that I know and love. This place, however, does.

Thai food is also known for being spicy, and while I’m a Thai food fan, I’m not hugely fond of spice. The restaurant thankfully offers spice levels, and at its most mild the curry I ordered didn’t leave me sniffling and in tears. It also still retained its full flavour.

For those who love spice I can’t entirely guarantee satisfaction, though I can hint at it. My companions for the meal were the kind who aren’t even phased by spice. Spicy Indian food doesn’t have them sweating feverishly and panting like a dog. They both ordered their food on medium spice and found while the food was certainly tasty the spice was only satisfactory. They figured they’d order at the spiciest level for the next go around.

All in all, while the atmosphere was a bit lacking and the service wasn’t perfect, the food was so good and fresh that I’d still recommend it. For a seemingly simple hole in the wall, Phuket Thai exceeded my expectations by far.

I’d say it’s the best Thai food I’ve found in the Fraser Valley. I’ll certainly be back.

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WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Film Review

Star Trek Into Darkness MICHAEL SCOULAR

THE CASCADE

The approach of the generation of science fiction re-creator J.J. Abrams is clever above all, dividing its time between pure emotional shorthand, glib referential humour, and earnest evocations of things we like(d), ensuring at worst the work is “not quite as good” as the other thing that last tickled nostalgia, irony, and tearducts in a similar way.

An eternity of four years has passed since Abrams’ getting-theteam-back-together, and with it apparently has come a desire to move into maturation. Grown out of the detail of television characterization and hyper-attention to series history and how to work it, the main crewmembers (Chris Pine’s James T. Kirk and Zachary Quinto’s Spock) are regarded and view the world with constant scrutiny, making each non-punching non-explosion scene an act of analysis. “When are you ever going to grow up?” is a pointed question to headline an early scene of checklisted faults (the Star Trek movies as a whole feel like the most fun, rigorous checklists in mostly charted space), and as if to answer, Abrams has added comment to his previously isolated, safe method of narrative.

Representation and refresh of the world are a venerated facet of science fiction, but in Abrams’ hands it is both inconsistent and forgetful, but no less insistent on

its importance and memory. Deliberately hitting the mark in fearful, invaded tone and exacting imagery (civilian terrorism, dust clouds, crashing wreckage, huddling, fleeing survivors) of 9/11 and its following action (the single man responsible: “this is a manhunt, pure and simple”), Abrams, working from a script by Damon Lindelof, feeds this into plot machinery and draws from it every grounded sense of pathos possible.

This is hardly untouchable ground (see also the Abrams-produced Cloverfield), but what makes this use a sign of inability to truly engage is how it does not permeate anything else about Into Darkness.

It sits there, brought up to lend weight to a still-silly save the day

plot of colliding action figures, as developed and interwoven as Michael Giacchino’s ever-abrupt piano crocodile tear motifs and triumphant filler.

More than that, Abrams’ quarter-rotation toward a harder-edged integration that eventually gives way betrays the inclination he has brought to the series, which is a fandom of personalization. Star Trek’s international idealism is refitted to American concerns posing as universal modern state of mind, which is declared to be fine just as long as revisionist beats of the series’ greatest moments continue.

Abrams has, undeservedly, been compared in the past to Michael Bay, yet summer convergence shows how that gap is located

Discussions Below the Belt

Electric toothbrushes inspire good vibrators JOHNNY RODDICK

SeXPERT

Sex toys are pretty hit and miss as it currently stands. Some people would die without their Hitachi Magic Wand or their Rabbit Pearl, while other people can’t stand the idea of them. While it seems unlikely that there will ever be a “right” sex toy for everyone, a small startup company in Seattle called Revel Body is hoping to change that with the creation of a new toy called the Revel Body Sonic Vibrator. Where did the technology come from that helps to set this toy apart from the crowd? Sonic toothbrushes.

Robin Elenga, the founder of Revel Body, told the press that while other vibrators compete with colour, shape and packaging, his company wanted to improve the most important part of the product – the motor.

“Vibration is the primary function of these devices,” he stated in a press release. “We knew we could build a better motor.”

Although the inspiration came from the Sonicare toothbrush, Revel Body went on to build a more orgasmic version. The TrueSonic adjustable resonating motor (the only one of its kind) has features other vibrators only dream about. This new high-frequency vibe allegedly offers 50 per cent more power, a 200 per cent wider vibration range and 90 per cent less noise than vibrators currently on the market.

Additionally, because the design

of the motor allows the vibration to be quite focused, it results in 80 per cent less vibration to the user’s hand during use.

The company also has a different take on “getting off” than do most sex toy companies. Their focus is on health and sexual wellness.

Their website contains an entire subsection called “Sexual Wellbeing” with information and links to studies and articles detailing the benefits of orgasms (headache cure, improved circulation, UTI prevention, better sleep, improved mood and better partner communication are all listed as benefits).

Due to this focus, Revel Body has radically altered the shape expected of a sex toy. Instead of opting for the typical phallic shape, or going for a cute “bunny ears or dolphin nose” look, the company designed the toy for comfort during use – that is, how easy it is to hold and use. The result is a toy that looks a lot like a tennis ball with small vibrating circle in the centre. The idea is that this shape reduces wrist strain with extended use. The shape has resulted in the toy being nicknamed “the Orb.” While the toy itself is enough to get excited about, the implications could be even greater. Whether or not the toy is a commercial success, it has already garnered interest by technology publications as well as major newspapers like the Daily Mail. As well, many major retailers are starting to carry basic vibrators in the condom aisle. With a high-

Image:Yoppy/Flickr

Sonic toothbrush technology changes the game.

profile and ambiguously-shaped sex toy marketed primarily as a health and wellness aid, chances are quite high that the device will be made available outside of sex stores.

Although Revel Body has not specified a release date or price, its estimated retail price is around $140. Although this seems high, it’s actually on par with most highquality sex toys. The Orb has a lithium ion rechargeable battery (and the USB dock is included).

The motor is also expected to last four times longer than traditional rotary motors, due to the fact that it only has one moving part. That, as well as the high-quality materials, explain the price.

Oh vibrators, you really are growing up.

differently than consensus would suggest. Bay’s Pain & Gain is direct, preachy, and saturated with noise.

It professes every idea it has about America and its locus of crises at full volume, while also focusing on a subject that allows for the indulgence of straight male-centric, ableist-leaning colour-splashed action, something Bay never needed much of an excuse to do in the past. That being said, it is entertainment, but one that also opens itself up to criticism, attempting satire, something unthinkable with Abrams, whose similar indulgences come through in his conclusive depictions of control and relation and rank, which are serious and simple enough to let back in quippy insults and pleasing impervi-

ousness to danger, but in the end put Into Darkness on a field not so far from the likes of GI Joe. The defining image, though, of Star Trek Into Darkness will be two fashionably dressed theatrical heroes chasing each other thrillingly, arms swinging into blurs, perfect posture and clear proportion – Abrams as an action director has grown into his stabilized style, with pacing and a mixture of busyness and stillness above most working at his level. With more of an emphasis on tilt-zoom facefilling, Abrams gives his cast every chance at a destined moment, and Quinto, Benedict Cumberbatch and Bruce Greenwood supply life to what could otherwise be a movie proposing against but drowning in artificiality. Attracting the most attention is usually Abrams’ visual aesthetic in a distracting sense, but Into Darkness through lens flare, whip pan, and encroaching, refocusing camera is Abrams’ most attractive movie, suggesting almost a metal and surface-inclined interpretation of Terrence Malick’s glory of the celestial, light unabated flooding the corners of frames.

Fusing gravity-dependent reality and self-regarding flamboyance only shows off the schematism of Abrams’ Star Trek, but the guidance of his longer-taking visual sense is a partial explanation for how something that switches between irresponsibly careless and overbearingly “caring” can seem almost smart and ideal by the end.

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WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Q&A: Matt and Matt of The Matinee DESSA BAYROCK

THE CASCADE

The Matinee is a BC band, and you may have caught them at UFV’s grand opening of CEP last year where they played a huge outdoor concert.

They’ve recently released a new album and a hit single, “Young and Lazy,” which was featured in The Cascade’s CIVL Shuffle last week. I caught up with Matt Rose and Matt Layzelle in a busy Regina coffee shop during the Juno weekend as other musicians and fans came and went around us.

First question: how do you spell your names?

Rose: Matt, with two t’s, and Rose is my last name, so R-O-S-E .

Layzelle: Matt, with two t’s, and Layzelle, L-A-Y-Z-E-L-L-E. Ah, I see. So you’re both Matt.

That was the real question. I was told I was meeting Matt and I wasn’t sure ...

L: ... which one. [laughs] It’s all good. We share an email address so no one really knows who they’re speaking to.

R: It’s very coded.

Maybe there’s a conspiracy and you’re the same person.

R: It’s possible.

L: No ... there are a few similarities but it ends there.

Well, you could be the Fight Club of Canadian music.

L: I like that. I really do like that.

R: First rule: don’t talk about The Matinee.

L: That wouldn’t work.

R: Yeah, we need the press.

So you guys have been travelling for a while now.

L: We just got home from a fiveweek stint across Canada and back home through the states. We just got home on Sunday, had five days at home, and then back out here.

And then we get home for a few weeks, and we’ll be heading back out across Canada again.

R: Hopefully there’s less snow this time around.

L: I couldn’t believe there’s still snow here.

I imagine the city for you right now is like a conference of musicians. What’s that like for you?

L: Whenever you’re at a festival like this, it’s the opportunity to catch up with bands – and what’s funny is that there’s so many bands from Vancouver that we never see in Vancouver because they’re always gone. So you meet up at these events. Like last night we saw friends of ours, Acres of Lions. They’re from Victoria. We’ve seen them maybe three times this year, and it’s always been in Toronto. We can never meet anywhere else, but randomly we happen to be passing through Toronto at the same time.

There’s the other aspect of it too – you have these friends who you’re friends with through music, and you might not be friends with them otherwise, but you depend on these relationship when you’re out there because you don’t know anybody else. So it’s nice to have some familiarities when you’re out there.

Who are you excited to see play this week, or who do you wish you could see?

R: I’m excited to see Carly Rae at the awards show. I’m interested to

Image: The Matinee / TheMatineeMusic.com

Matt Layzelle (centre) and Matt Rose (second from right) of the BC band The Matinee performed at this year’s Juno Award weekend. see if she’ll play “Call Me Maybe.”

I think she has to.

L: I’ve heard she sometimes has to play it twice at a show.

R: I’m excited to see it.

L: I was actually part of the Juno judging committee this year, so I got to listen to all the artists nominated for the roots category, and some of my new favourite albums came out of listening to all of them.

One of the bands is staying at our hotel – they’re called The Strumbellas. I wish we could see them, but they play tonight at midnight, which is when we play.

Do you get a lot of chances to see live music when you’re on the road?

R: No, no. There’s never time.

The one thing we try to do is go to hockey games, and even that’s a challenge.

L: The tough part about touring – like our last tour, we were gone for 34 days and I think we had 26 shows. So I mean, every day is just routine. Every day you get to the venue, you set up, you soundcheck, you have dinner, you watch the local opener, then you’re getting ready and you play, you sell merch through the next band, then you pack up and try to get some sleep and drive to the next place.

It’s a grind, it really is, and there’s no time for the fun stuff you want to try to fit in.

How do you keep it fresh every night, if you’re doing a show every day for 30 days?

R: For me, when you’re in a new city and you have a new group of fans to play for – there’s always a fresh energy in every city with a new group of people.

L: Every show, every room, every crowd has a different dynamic and a different energy. The reality is, if you’re playing the same song every night but the crowd is singing along and really enjoying it and getting into it, I don’t know how you get bored of that. That’s what we love to do.

I noticed on your website that you’ve played in a prison.

L: Yeah, a couple.

How does that even work? Do

you call up a prison and say, hey, I’d like to play you a show?

L: [Joking] Well, we were doing time— R: [Joking] Yeah, one of our guys was in jail, and— L: [Serious] For the better part of four years, we did a tour where we were teamed up with the BC Schizophrenia Society, and they have a program called Reach Out, and it’s an awareness program where they go to schools, to colleges, to prisons, and do a presentation trying to raise awareness about mental health and psychosis, and early psychosis prevention. Which is obviously a pretty heavy topic, especially in a school.

So they got us involved to be a conduit to allow the kids to be excited about the topic. So we would play music and talk, and it got to the point where we were actually doing most of the talking. There used to be a facilitator, but then we learned a lot about the topic and began speaking about it quite a bit.

It was rewarding, because we were legitimately connecting with an audience. After every show, you’d have kids come up and say, “I have a friend who’s tried to commit suicide – how can I help them,” or “I have a friend who hears voices.”

So you realize you’re really making a difference on some level.

So that tour took us all over BC, and Yukon ... virtually everywhere, to get that message out there. And we stopped in a few jails and prisons. Probably some of the stranger set-ups we’ve ever had for a show – we got all the inmates in jumpsuits on bleachers with armed guards behind them, and we played our show and did the presentation and they were given 20 minutes to hang out with us and talk afterwards ... It was weird, it was surreal. We were actually making a connection with these people. We were playing hacky sack with them, and you’d have no clue what they’d done.

They’d obviously done something to be there. And then the 20 minutes was up, and that was their free time for the day. It was a really strange experience.

R: Matt always says it’s a captive audience. It’s the truth.

L: They didn’t find it funny.

R: They didn’t find it funny, no.

So was the energy of that crowd, on a base level, the same as any other concert?

L: There were guys who got into it, for sure, and then you could tell there were some that were there because they had to be there.

R: It’s the same with the schools, too.

L: And the prisons had segregated populations, so there were the men and the women and they don’t interact whatsoever. So we had the men come into the gymnasium, and we played for them, and then they left and the female population came into the gymnasium, and that was scarier. Women who are in prison for that amount of time are hardened women. They were intimidating. It was actually more intimidating than the men.

R: They were badass women.

So how do you get involved with a project like that?

L: We actually started doing it before there was The Matinee – it was another band that our bass player and I had. They got involved with us because our bass player had dealt with depression quite severely when he was in high school, so he was definitely tied to the cause. That’s why we got involved in the first place.

My next question links back to the new single, “Young and Lazy,” where you say that you’ve now passed the point of being young and lazy.

L: [Pointing to the other Matt] Ha, that’s your quote.

R: Yes. We’re old now. And hardworking.

Is that really true?

R: Yeah. Well, not that we’re old.

But the whole song was written as very reflective of where we were in that period of our lives, coming out of high school, late teens. It’s exactly what we were like when we were 17, 18, 19, sneaking into pools, sneaking into construction sites to steal wood for skateboard ramps. We’re with a label now, but up until releasing this record, for four years prior to that, we’ve been doing it all almost entirely on our

own. It’s been a lot of hard work to get to where we are.

L: I think that the reality is that this is what we’ve chosen to do.

You quickly learn, if you want to stick it out in music, that it’s not easy. You have to work hard and make your own breaks. It’s nothing that you can take lightly. You can’t take any opportunity for granted – you have to keep hustling. You can’t be lazy. The song harkens back to that carefree first summer after high school where you don’t really know what you’re going to do, and you just want to have fun. We very much want to be in a band because it’s fun – it’s just fun to get into a van and tour and play shows. But we’ve learned since then that none of that’s possible unless you work hard. We’ve grown up since that time. It’s a job, and you have to treat it that way.

So what would you call this new period in your lives, as a band?

R: The age of enlightenment.

L: [Singing] It’s the age of Aquarius ...

R: It’s like – even though we’re now working with a label, and we’re working with a publicist, and they’re all part of our team, we’re still working as hard as we were before. We’re keeping the pedal to the metal.

L: Let’s call it the migration period.

R: Yeah.

L: As Jeff, who’s not always one for the best sound clips, said, “It’s time for us to be not that band in Vancouver, but that band from Vancouver.” Was that what he said?

That’s not what he said.

R: I don’t think that’s totally it.

But it’s close.

L: See, I screwed that up.

R: Yeah, you did screw that up.

L: But in essence, what he was trying to say was it’s time for us to develop elsewhere. We’ve done a lot in Vancouver, and it’s great that it’s our home base, but we have to win fans one by one across the rest of the country. So that’s where we’re at now. Migration.

R: The migration period.

16

ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013

CIVL’s summer Battle kicks off with a bang CHARTS

1

DL Incognito Someday Is Less Than A Second Away

2 3

Open Letters 1-6

Bertha Cool/ Hemogoblin Bertha Cool/Hemogoblin Split

4 5 6

Anciients Heart of Oak

www.ufvcascade.ca

Shuffle AARON LEVY

GENTLEMAN AND SCHOLAR

CIVL Station Manager Aaron Levy is on the Cycling for Diversity ride from Victoria to Abbotsford as part of BC Cycling for Diversity Week and the UN Day for Diversity, Dialogue and Development.

Here are some songs that have reared their ugly heads so far on the arduous and exciting journey.

Merciful Angel took the crowd and the prize on the first night of CIVL’s Battle of the Bands.

Image: CIVL.ca

OK Vancouver OK Food Shelter Water

Daft Punk Random Access Memories

7 8

Pick A Piper Pick A Piper

Tables, Ladders and Chairs TLC

9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Six Gun Romeo Welcome to the Show TRI 5 La Dee Da

Bibio Silver Wilkinson Wooly Mammoth North Shore Stratovarius Nemesis Zac Crouse Paddle To The Ocean

Vampire Weekend Modern Vampires of the City

16 17 18

Gold Panda Trust La Femme La Femme

Michael Feuerstack Tambourine Death Bed

Selena Gomez – “Love Song” “I love you like a love song;” and the phrase “beep beep” was discussed as a plausible lyric misunderstanding for this one. Like a car, that you really love, a lot. Does that mean Justin Bieber is a car? I guess ... I think he’d be a gas guzzler.

The Moffats – “I’ll Be There For You” That’s what this ride is all about, supporting one another, being there when you’re needed, whether it’s for a friend, a colleague, an enemy, or a stranger. We want to see people grow, not suffer, and the Moffats knew what that was about at the ripe old age of ... !

Tool – “Aenima” We’ve been talking about the silt in Richmond, Delta, etc., and how the Big One is going to suck it all down. Just like Arizona Bay. One day. And this song is definitely a show of why some people are not embracing diversity. So much hate. So little love. Maynard!

James – “Laid” Because his middle name is James, and last is Keenan, and this song is a classic that reminds me of him. It’s about people who love hard and don’t care what for or why not to. “Dressed me up in women’s clothes, messed around with gender roles.” Inclusivity what!

Image: CIVL.ca

Yes Men Jr went nuts, throwing candy at the crowd.

MICHAEL SCOULAR and JOE JOHNSON THE CASCADE

Saturday evenings this summer semester on UFV’s Abbotsford campus will be soundtracked by CIVL’s first Battle of the Bands, held at AfterMath.

AfterMath’s building has hosted CIVL concerts in past years, but this series represents the culmination of a longer coordination that seeks to benefit the radio station’s community reach as well as exposure for local musical acts.

“I’ve always wanted to do this idea. It’s been a personal goal of mine to put something like this together,” said CIVL station manager Aaron Levy.

Held this year at the Abbotsford campus due to CIVL’s location, Levy mentioned the possibility of future expansion to Chilliwack depending on the success of the event. The event’s reach is meant to be “Fraser Valley wide, from Surrey to Hope,” Levy noted, “to bring everybody together.”

Connecting the separated campuses of UFV, the relatively young CIVL, and various extremely different BC music scenes is a tall order, but for first year things have turned out well. “We got a really great representation of the Valley: People from Maple Ridge, people from Mission, we got people applying from the Sunshine Coast, from Victoria, from Saanich,” said Levy. “We are having bands in the Battle of the Bands that didn’t have any relationship with us beforehand, which is exactly what we wanted, to build more bridges, so to speak, in the community.”

Image: CIVL.ca

7th Avenue were pretty good for a dad-rock band.

Opening night showed this off, with three bands sharing nothing in level of experience, style, origin or loudness, but all representing a region of sound and location within the spectrum of what the Fraser Valley has to offer in music.

Kicking things off was 7th Avenue, a five member rock and roll group. Their song titles (“Cheap Cigars,” “Rock My World”) suggested standard genre tropes, but the band stood out through audience interaction and the way lyrics provided a structure for lead guitarist Clayton Burch’s wailing solos. Awakening in the first slot, 7th Avenue was a picture of an experienced band, having gone through regroupings and lineup changes, and having shifted between covers and original material over their near-decade span under the 7th Avenue name.

While a contrast to the usual college play idea of a band, their goals were still the same.

“It’s good exposure,” they agreed after the set. “It’s a great way to network with other musicians, let our music be heard.”

An inverse next took to the stage with Yes Men Jr. who classify their music in the genre “we’re not afraid to do stupid shit.”

This statement was borne out by the provocation of parody-bad angst-shouted lyrics over spare drumpad beats and occasional laptop samples. The high school band’s time together can be measured in months, but their mixture of alienating and engaging (entering the audience, building jokes into their repetitive setlist) was assured in its use of irony, provided another lens into cur-

rent music, albeit the overblended post-internet kind.

The judged winner of the night, Merciful Angel (possible namechange pending) has been together four years. Humbly describing their origins as simply “the four of us got together,” the thrash-metal has grown to the point where they said the band “has played pretty consistently for the past two years.”

Judging-wise, the CIVL Battle is broken down into five categories in which points can be awarded, and it does not take a lot of imagination to see how Merciful Angel’s high-decibal performance prompted superior numbers in musicianship and stage presence.

Merciful Angel moves on to the next stage of the competition to be played in late June.

Working with Sophia Suderman, who is also the performance director for Jam in Jubilee, CIVL is coordinating the Battle of the Bands as part of a fundraising effort that will also take place on their radio shows.

“I’m happy with the results [so far],” Levy concluded.

With this first step, there is also the possibility for future iterations of the event, with the hope this year’s efforts will help put together a foundation to build on next year.

“We won’t have to reinvent the wheel next time, whenever that is,” Levy said.

The Battle of the Bands continues through June and July Saturday nights at 7 p.m. for 10 weeks in total at AfterMath. Cover charge is $5 at the door, and cold beverages are available.

ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Mini Album Reviews

SoundBites

17

The Airborne Toxic Event Such Hot Blood

The National Trouble Will Find Me

Primal Scream More Light

Tommy Alto Oceans // Carolina

Much like fellow UK band Spiritualized, Primal Scream has never found success taking root in the American music market, all the while selling out arenas in their homeland. So what gives? Their eclectic back catalogue of bombastic rock and dance music has left them in limbo on one of the world’s biggest musical stages, but their new record More Light looks to change all that. Here Primal Scream tries their hand at Britpop, a genre that has a long history of helping bands to break through the American music market. The album’s opening track “2013,” a non-too-subtle nod to the Stooges’ “1969,” kickstarts More Light and really seems to set the tone for the rest of the record. Things are going to be glammy and full of attitude. However, the very next song “River of Pain” reverses all that. Muted and relaxed, “River” is a Beta Band-esque folk track that descends into orchestral eruption for its finale. The album’s lead single “It’s Alright, It’s Okay” recaptures the magic of their feel-good, gospelinspired record from the early ‘90s Screamadelica by layering acoustic guitars and bongo with piano throughout the track while it continues to build.

More Light demonstrates a reinvigorated Primal Scream, one that looks just as strong this decade as they have in the past three.

“Mister mister don’t call me a hipster I’m just a boy with a girl and I miss her...” Tommy Alto speak-sings on “Sticks and Stones,” the second track on the Vancouver post-punk rocker’s new EP Oceans // Carolina. It’s a taste of the kind of fast-talking, bracingly direct, albeit somewhat weather-worn lyrics Alto seems to be fond of. There is a slight rock steady undercurrent to Alto’s jagged rhythms and stolen bursts of lyric. The EP is meticulously crafted, compressing much aural detail into each of the album’s six tracks. Take the opening, dense, Beach Boys harmonies and Los Campesinos’ brand of jittery guitar work on “Autumn Leaves,” a veritable chameleon of a song. But the downside of this tendency is that the album feels needlessly cluttered.

Tracks are packed densely with instrumentation and scattered musical motifs that only appear once before being lost back to the relentless pursuit of the song. Tommy Alto’s trademark is perfectionism; here, he embodies both its positive and negative aspects.

In Such Hot Blood The Airborne Toxic Event have continued to capture everything they’ve become known for: poetic vocals, beautiful ballads and a warm backing orchestra attuned with electric guitars. The distinction in this new release is that it feels like the pacing of tracks has been opened somewhat to allow for the extended choruses of lead singer Mikel Jollett. While the band has always been known to uniquely blend an orchestral sound with a full indie rock set, there are also more tracks that have a greater infusion of rock, as heard on “What’s In A Name?” The occasional pop punching, folk-like sound off their previous album can be found on one track, the fast paced ode “True Love.” And two tracks that will remain personally are the beautiful “This Is London,” a slower and beautifully powered piece of melancholy and “The Fifth Day,” a rendition of pain and growth, and a masterpiece in its own right with absolutely haunting harmonies. Finally, the album concludes with “Elizabeth,” a very simple concept of crossroads with a girl asking to have a song written by her boyfriend. There’s some resemblance of Dire Straits here. In the end, the album easily stands up to the band’s previous releases while also being a nice progression.

Some of the anti-hooks (“I stay down with my demons”) are unimaginatively over-repetitive, and some of the metaphors string together like several overdeveloped ways of saying the same thing, but in Trouble Will Find Me’s mostly arid most accurate moments, all the words collapse into exact evocations of The National’s now fully developed unspacious sounds of ongoing depression: the half-disgusted, mostly tired sighs that barely form the chorus of “Slipped.” Aside from the would-be imagery, Matt Berninger’s low-register half-dead vocals leave enough room that each song’s true inclinations tease out over the long passage of time - the unsettled positive spin of “Don’t Swallow the Cap” (“Everything I love is on the table”) slips between unprepared, precarious emotion before shifting into a tone that (“A bright white beautiful heaven hanging over me”) scans more like joy as disguise. Not as immediately likable as High Violet, Trouble Will Find Me might be even more undistinguished than 2007’s Boxer, with the main change strings to lift where drums mainly used to be. The National’s predictable stagnation is both reason for interest in their shtick to wane—this is essentially more of the same—and its effectiveness – merciless consistency lends a kind of truth to their extended wallowing even when near-parodic.

Tim UBELS

NICK UBELS

JOE JOHNSON

MICHAEL SCOULAR

unpleasant in both noise (parts of “Full of Fire”) and silence (the catacomb and sewage skitters of “Old Dreams Waiting to Be Realized”).

The Knife’s most convincing evolution, then, is what they have done to the idea of an album. This is not a staid, complete experience to be absorbed, not merely a concept, but a work that rewards reworking, separation and mixture.

It is, pointedly, out of sequence, the defining progression being momentum broken up by shrieking metal. The forays into singing that shade the album’s strongest pictures dissipate into crumbling beats, and some of the tracks simply do not work. But if The Knife are meant to be taken seriously when they speak of “other ways,” it is not complete acceptance of their creation that would be the best outcome, but the provocation of thought that selects and reinterprets beyond the simple original that inspired a response.

“Full of Fire” is a strange single, for instead of providing a taste of what the rest of the album will be, it sits better on its own, dragging the B-side-like “Networking” into its pull and nothing else, an uncoiling and compressing irrepressible 10-minute overwork. Many of the “songs” here are about that length, and form movements that better separate on their own. Pressed

into sequential duty, the album gives barely enough attention to each of its parts for them to leave an impression beyond the enormous quantity of itself, but spun off into their own spaces, played as singles or complementary duos, they gain traction. Separated from the harshness that becomes an overriding theme on the album, the spontaneous slight delays of modulation, the morphing quality of Dreijer’s work becomes more apparent rather than simply aggravating. And even the common refrain that Shaking the Habitual is a disappointing move away from dance hall hit-replay hits like “Heartbeats” proves unconvincing, as bookends “A Tooth for an Eye” and “Ready to Lose” are just that, but with the addition of an undercurrent that refuses to settle.

Regarding the album’s lyrics, which can’t be ignored completely, some ambiguously succinct lines seem to demand to be quoted, evoking the same kind of manifesto-like furor the act’s opening statement possesses. But then there’s the corrective that comes partway through “Raging Lung,” probably Andersson’s most affecting vocal turn, which follows up a list of demands and criticisms with “But it’s not that easy/ we want it easy.”

Album Review

The Knife – Shaking the Habitual MICHAEL SCOULAR

THE CASCADE There’s a blood system promoting biology as destiny A series of patriarchies that’s a problem to the Nth degree What about hyper-capitalism, this homicidal class system, the school system that’s kaput?

Then there are castles everywhere— look at them fake tanning and signing autographs!

No habits!

There are other ways to do things.

– The Knife Poetic PR, abrasive rhythms and pointed political messages suggest the type of album that reaches for the mantle of art, demanding unbroken attention from its listener.

Headphones, a straight 90 minutes, and this album. Listening as exercise.

But Shaking the Habitual is also a dance record, a muddle of ideas waiting to be found, a broken contradiction.

The Knife is still a commerciallysold product, and the bulk of their “critique” steps past the slight irony and tempered outrage of their pre-release statement to oblique shouts over atonal electronic and warped material instruments that suggest more the limitations of such an exercise. Their much-pub-

licized source being a semester’s worth of feminist and political readings paints this as an impulsive, undergraduate response to the unending problems of power displayed through class and gender.

But thankfully there are other sides to Shaking the Habitual. For every weakness that is apparent in their word-based songwriting, The Knife has a musical working con-

siderably more advanced when it comes to their thesis. There is the basic takeaway from many of the tracks, which is basically that they are difficult: all skewed, changing time signatures and voices that refuse to tamp down into melody.

As a complete, straight-through experience, Shaking the Habitual is overwhelming, probably a future cause of a few headaches. It’s deliberately esoteric and consciously

18

ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Cascade Arcade

It feels like the first time:

A newbie spends two hours in Legend of Zelda prologue AMY VAN VEEN THE CASCADE “Spell out your name,” my friend tells me.

“What’s with the heart?!” I ask with eager curiosity.

“The number of hearts matches your health.”

“So one heart, I’m not healthy?”

I’m a little disappointed.

This is me not even beginning to play The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.

“It was originally called Triforce of the Gods,” my friend explains, “but in 1991, in Canada, it was considered too religious for the general public, so the name and part of the storyline was changed.”

My friend is a super nerd. And she will be my guide through the uncertainty of the next couple hours.

Also, I had to ask whether or not I use the A button to choose the letters of my name.

This will not go well.

The game starts.

“Help me ... Please help me ...”

Which, of course, I say out loud in desperate tones because I am not a gamer. You may have learned this from my inability to even use the buttons to spell out my own name—which thankfully I got right—but to be honest, I’m a little terrified. I’m going to be playing in front of an audience of one nerd gamer and I suck.

The text explains the premise of the game and I find it rather disturbing. A wizard has a bunch of girls held captive in a dungeon and Zelda is the only one to remain?

So ... I guess that means Zelda is the girl.

“Amy, I’m going out for a while,” the screen tells me. Who is talking to me? Why is this bluehaired person talking to me while I’m in bed? That is if I’m the one in the bed. Apparently, this man is my uncle. Okey doke. This bluehaired uncle is warning me not to leave the house. If there’s one thing I know about my character, it’s that this game won’t happen until I break that rule. I hate breaking rules.

“What do I do with those pots?”

I ask my friend.

“You pick them up, press A, and then smash them, same button,” she patiently explains.

“Okay ...” I say uncertainly. I do it and laugh out loud. I feel like I’m in a Greek restaurant celebrating and I wish I could make my character scream, “OPA!” Zelda is nagging me because apparently stopping to type this article means she is spending an awful long time in that ol’ dungeon.

Also, those guards would have totally seen me cross the bridge and drunkenly swagger back and forth until I found the hidden path. I call foul.

My uncle tells me, “Amy, you can do it!” I foolishly believe him.

And Zelda nags me again.

So I’m in the castle and it’s terrifying. I just keep hitting guards’ swords before I was told that if I moved up half a step I could actually kill them. And if this was a real person I would look like a manic swordsman who needs to be committed for being both a danger to himself and to others.

“So you can push these guys off

the cliff,” my friend says. Apparently that did not register with me that I could also fall off the cliff.

Long story short, I got stabbed by freaking out and jumping into the arms of a sword-wielding guard.

GAME OVER. I barely got a map before my sudden and rather embarrassingly early death. I guess I can try again.

I know which button to push to kill now, so there’s a slightly better chance for me.

Good news—that is, it’s news to me—I don’t have to go all the way back to bed. Just to the front doors of the castle. And I’m not as manic this time. More calculated in my swordsmanship, until I forget everything and resort to button smashing.

I make it to another chest, excited off the kill of so many guards (who are clearly too easy to kill if I can slay them). “You got a ...” my voice raises with excitement and drops with disappointment, “boomerang.” A boomerang? Really, Zelda? I feel like a tourist in Australia, but I guess I have no choice but to go with it.

I get to Zelda! And she keeps nagging me and then condescendingly asks if I do in fact understand everything I just read. Yeah, bitch.

I understand. And now the chick will not get off my tail! She’s a little clingy and I want out. Is it too early to tell her it’s not her, it’s me?

Here’s the thing about walking through doors when I don’t know where they lead – it doesn’t feel like a good idea. It feels like I’m the stupid girl in a horror movie who goes outside in her underwear to see if that really is a chainsaw she hears.

Case in point, I enter a dark room, my friend calmly tells me, “There are snakes in this room,” and of course I panic and run around in circles and we die. My bad.

GAME OVER. The more dark caverns I walk through, the more terrified I am.

Why, Amy? They’re virtual, poorly-animated snakes and mice and rats and bats, oh wait – I just answered my own question. As I wade through the water so the rodents can’t get me, my friend tells me I’m not very adventurous.

No, I am not. I would be the first one dead in any action flick – a fact I have always known.

I get the key from a rat, screaming every time I enter a room and throwing my sword like a manic person again, and I realize something. I do not like the pre-gameover screen where I’m lying face down in a sea of my own blood. It does not inspire confidence.

GAME OVER. And, I’m back in the throne room which means there are a lot of dark caverns to get through again to even begin to start where I last died. Thankfully, my friend takes the controller from me so she can speed through at an embarrassingly faster rate. I blink and she’s back at the point where I died.

I’ve entered a fancy room with stained glass windows and I see a man.

“So, I shouldn’t kill this man right now?” I ask.

He offers a message of praise to me for keeping Zelda safe.

“Yeah. I should not kill this man right now,” I decide on my own.

I really don’t know if I can trust Zelda. I’m not sure she’s a good

judge of character. She followed a manic swordsman out of a dungeon and now thinks he can do anything even though he’s died three times in one level.

Good news is, I have four hearts.

Even though it makes me a medical marvel, I think I’m doing all right.

I’m just strolling through a garden, killing crappy guards and stealing their hearts when I can and my friend offers a piece of advice.

“The thing about Zelda, don’t hit the chickens too many times otherwise a flock of angry chickens will attempt to kill you.”

What weird world have I gotten myself into?

After entering a house, I check again with my friend, “Do I kill this person?”

“No,” she says knowingly, “you typically don’t kill villagers.”

Instead of murdering her, I just take all treasure chests and smash all pottery, so I’m not sure why the villagers want to help this asshat anyways. Link just walks into homes, demands information, smashes their pots, opens their treasures chests and steals all magic, money and hearts. What a hero.

It’s nice to know the villagers are either crazy ladies, thieves who stand in rooms and repeat themselves and infomercial bottle salesmen. I’m starting to feel like the only sane one.

Also, this whole “beware of the chickens” scenario is a little frightening when one chicken is standing on the head of a boy I’m talking to and another chicken pops out of a broken pot.

I go into a cave, as advised by my friend, and meet a faerie who

seductively heals my wounds – as seductively as this animation can be.

(Also, how is a person supposed to play video games without an expert telling them what to do and when to blow up cracks in the walls of villagers’ homes? Oh right. I guess I did collect some maps and a compass at one point.

Still.)

As I come out of the cave, I see two guards who I seem to be getting worse at defeating, so I scream and run back into the cave and now I’m hanging out in what I call a Faerie Spa and I’m okay with it.

Can I get a cucumber water, darling?

As I run away faster than the guards can walk—instead of fighting them—I enter a cave and my friend tells me, “Okay. You’re going to catch some faeries. Get your butterfly net.”

Right. This is happening. I can’t stop it from sounding logical. I’m in too deep. Here we go.

(Although, I’m not really in too deep. I’m still in the prologue.

How many levels are there? Ten dungeons, one tower, one pyramid and a castle revisit? ... I’m pathetic.)

And now I meet an old man who asks a trick question. “Do you really want to find it?” The only options are, “Yeah!” or “Of Course!”

Unnecessary capitalization aside, this feels like a dumb trap, old man.

After much coaching and terror and pitiful screaming that I judge myself for, I finally make it to level one.

19

SPORTS & HEALTH

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Exploring the Fraser Valley: Lindeman Lake JASPER MOEDT the cascade

Spring is in full swing, the weather is warming, sunny skies are (hopefully) on the horizon and British Columbians everywhere are shedding their umbrellas and ponchos to take advantage of our beautiful wilderness playground.

For my first outdoor experience this year I made the trek up to Lindeman Lake in the Chilliwack River Valley.

After a little over an hour’s drive from UFV’s Abbotsford campus I found myself on the edge of an old logging-turnedrecreational-use road. The trailhead is marked with a worn down sign that says “Post Creek, Lindeman, Greendrop, and Flora Lakes.” The entrance to the trail will also have other hikers cars parked alongside the entrance, so don’t worry about missing the markings!

As I began my hike I quickly realized that my runners were in for a wet and slippery hike as there

was still a significant amount of snow on the ground (my expedition took place in early April, so the snow has since melted).

Initially the trail is a wide gravel path that takes a fairly level route, but after a few minutes of walking on this more luxurious pathway, the trail turns and becomes a narrower, steeper route.

After roughly 45 minutes of following this narrow pathway across boulder fields, along the sides of steep slopes and over log bridges, I found myself in the entranceway to a beautiful mountainside campground alongside a snow-covered lake. This campground is beautifully situated on the side of a gradual mountain slope, with tent pads built out of plywood for a potential camper’s convenience.

Any hiker that has been to Lindeman knows that the main draw of this hike is the beautiful aquablue hue of the lake alongside the sandy beach area.

Unfortunately for me I had come too early. The annual spring thaw had not yet taken place

and the lake was still frozen and covered in snow. Even the welladvertised beach area was coated with winter’s blessing. Not missing an opportunity to expose my disappointment, my hiking partner pointed out that the lake is truly beautiful when it isn’t covered in snow! Despite the wintery covering, the raw natural beauty of the area was clear to see.

Needless to say I will be making a return hike to Lindeman Lake sometime this summer to see the complete, snow-and-icefree spectacle with my own eyes.

This trail is a great day trip that takes about two hours of intermediate-level hiking up and down.

During the summer months a day at the beach at the top of the trail would make a great day trip, or if you were feeling really up for an adventure Lindeman Lake would serve as a great overnight campsite!

Images: Ciera Fox

Lindeman Lake, pretty in the winter, makes a better summer adventure.

Experiencing the Whitecaps from the heart of the supporters JESS WIND

THE CASCADE It was a night of firsts for the Vancouver Whitecaps: the first time they defeated LA Galaxy, the first and second MLS career goal for 20-year-old Canadian midfielder Russell Tiebert and my first experience sitting in the Southsiders’ fanzone at BC Place Stadium. While many of you were still licking your Canucks-related wounds on May 11, the ‘Caps were burying the Galaxy in a 3-1 defeat.

The afternoon started out across from the Vancouver Public Library as the Vancouver Southsiders marched to the stadium. The Southsiders are the largest organized supporters group in Canada, according to their website, and they make it their business to support the Vancouver Whitecaps at both home and away games as much as possible. You can hear the drums and songs before the first ‘Caps fan comes into view as they march down Robson Street.

Once inside the stadium, it becomes clear that I am up for 90 minutes of cheering, singing and standing, as my ticket has me planted firmly in the section dedicated to the eversupportive fan club. As the commentator lists off LA Galaxy’s starting lineup, he pauses as if to leave the space for fans to yell “Wanker” after every name. Soon after, the stadium engages in a passionate rendition of the Whitecaps’ team anthem, “White is the Colour.”

Before the kickoff, I am already starting to learn the words to the songs.

The game starts with an early yellow card to the ‘Caps defender Johnny Leveron for a tackle in the third minute. Following that, the calls in the first 45 minutes appear to favour the Galaxy rather than the home team. Strong attempts are made by the ‘Caps throughout the last 10 minutes of the half, with a solid corner attempt forcing Galaxy keeper Carlo Cudicini to make a save.

As the keeper winds up to send the ball down field, the Southsiders that take up most of the seats behind him yell “You Fat Bastard” in attempt to throw off the kick. Similar heckles are made in the second half as the Galaxy winds up for a corner kick, with the Southsiders pointing at the player and chanting “Who are ya?”

The first half ends with no score, but spirits are far from dampened in the Southsiders’ section of the stadium. Going into the second half, the ‘Caps begin putting on the pressure against the two-time MLS Cup defending champions.

Finally, after 63 minutes of play, Tiebert receives a pass by midfielder Nigel Reo-Coker and calmly puts one by Cudicini for his first MLS career goal. The stands erupt as fans hug and high-five equally-elated strangers. A little over 10 minutes later, Tiebert buries a second one in the same corner of the net after a well-placed ball from midfielder Gershon Koffie. The celebration earns Tiebert a caution at the 76-minute mark.

An unfortunate injury soon after for Camilo Sanvezzo sees him carried off the pitch on a stretcher and replaced by Jordan Harvey. Galaxy takes ad-

vantage with a quick header by Gyasi Zardes to make the score 2-1 with four minutes of regular time left.

Three minutes of stoppage time is added to the end of the match and the ‘Caps capitalize.

Canon sends the ball downfield and it is quickly put through for striker Darren Mattock to breakaway. Cudicini shuts him down and Mattocks’ scoring dry spell continues ... for two minutes. A throw-in from Tiebert moves through much of the offensive line before Mattocks turns and strikes the ball out of the air past Cudicini at 92 minutes.

The Whitecaps defeat the Galaxy 3-1 and climb out of their winless slump. Experiencing the game in the heart of the fanzone enhanced an already buzzing stadium atmosphere.

By 90 minutes I hadn’t realized that I’d been standing for the entirety of the match. Friends were made with the surrounding fans and I had a new arsenal of songs to chant at ‘Caps games. Tickets start at $20 and the season runs until the fall.

So, while you’re wondering what to do with your summer now that there’s a long gap until hockey starts up again, wander over to BC Place. Take my advice and try to score tickets in the fanzone, because win or lose, the Southsiders provide a sports fan experience that rivals anything Gillis could come up with.

An offseason look at UFV women’s basketball JASPER MOEDT the cascade

With the winter semester a distant memory and the promise of a long hot summer ahead, it is easy to drift into a summer daze. The call of the outdoors gets louder and louder as July draws near. But as the everyday student population heads to the beach you will find the majority of the UFV women’s basketball team in the gym at the Envision Athletic Centre (EAC). Fresh off their first trip to CIS nationals in school history, the women’s squad has had a taste of success and is hungry for more.

In a season which saw the Cascades break school records in a variety of categories, one might think there could be an issue of complacency among the members of a UFV squad that does not lose a single member of their 2012-2013 team. This is not the case. Take a trip to the EAC on any given day and you will see numerous players in the gym working on their game – putting up shots, working on ball handling and lifting weights.

According to assistant coach Sean Bosko this level of work ethic is all part of the team’s philosophy and approach to the offseason. “As a team we decided that the offseason was going to be a stepping stone to the next level, so that we were not where we were last year,” Bosko stated, referring to the teams late season letdown at nationals. “We want to use the offseason to help the girls to build confidence” Bosko said.

The Cascades return a squad that boasts five graduating seniors. In their five years this group of women have gone from not making playoffs in their first season, to gradually becoming a

national contender. Bosko credits this transformation to two separate factors.

Bosko motioned to the numerous girls in the gym at the EAC as the interview took place and commented, “I think it has to do with the kind of leaders we have on our team. Look at today ... it’s a nice day out. You see who’s in the gym right now? The amount of work these girls put in during a summer is phenomenal.”

The second factor to the Cascades continuing success is the work of the squad’s head coach, Al Tuchscherer. He does a great job bringing in talent from the school’s feeder program, the Junior Cascades. This program— which consists of high school players throughout the Fraser Valley—has been the source of a large number of current and ex-Cascades. Of UFV’s current squad, every single member was a part of the Junior Cascades program.

With a strong platform for success in place and plenty of optimism surrounding the Cascades squad for the upcoming season, the casual spectator could not help but wonder if this year will be one where the women’s squad take the big prize – a national championship.

If it were going to happen for this program, the 2013-2014 seasons would be the one to do it.

The Cascades have a veteran core with plenty of playoff experience and plenty left to prove. With a hard-working, productive offseason, this squad will be primed for another deep run into playoffs, with hopes that their dreams of CIS basketball’s biggest prize will become a reality next March.

20

SPORTS & HEALTH

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

From out of the shadow:

The value of supporting your small town sports teams

by Joel Smart and Mike Thompson

The Vancouver Canucks cast an enormous shadow over the rest of the sports world in the Fraser Valley.

They are the team that sports fans talk about first, they get the prized placement in our various newspapers and sports shows and it’s their games that people dream of getting front-row seats for. It can take a while for your eyes to adjust when you look into that shadow, trying to see what else there is.

After a while the BC Lions and Vancouver Whitecaps begin to come into view. With a little more effort, the Vancouver Canadians appear – Vancouver’s Short-Season A minor league baseball team. But what else is there?

The short answer is a lot.

However, to appreciate this wealth of additional sport, one must learn to value sports in a slightly different way than is required for the more major leagues. Yes, it is true that the skill level of athletes in the minor and midget leagues is not that of the highest-calibre players in the world. The plays you see won’t be quite as spectacular.

The goals would probably happen differently in the major leagues, and the players would probably be quicker and more impressive. Athletes might still be developing, or they might be a player that peaked without reaching that higher level. But, either way, their performances are not automatically less enjoyable or less important. When you’ve got a close game, and you see two teams playing their hardest to come out on top, that’s all that matters.

Perhaps not surprisingly, teams often make up for their lack of top-end talent with harder, more-determined efforts. As a sports fan, an appreciation for a hard-working team is all it takes to get the most out of all the Fraser Valley has to offer.

Hockey

Abbotsford Heat The most obvious team to stand out—at least for many hockey fans—is the Abbotsford Heat of the American Hockey League. While they’re not appreciated by all due to their affiliation with the Calgary Flames, they represent a high level of hockey that is both affordable and convenient. Tickets range from $15 to $40 depending on the seats.

Vancouver Giants The Vancouver Giants, who play in the Western Hockey League, also play an elite and enjoyable game of hockey (though not as elite as the Heat). Watch them play the Victoria Royals (formally the Chilliwack Bruins) if you want to see a heated regional match-up. Tickets are about $20.

Pacific Junior Hockey League If you really want to find some local rivalries, you’ll have to turn to the Pacific Junior Hockey League (PJHL). Here you’ll find the Abbotsford Pilots, the Aldergrove Kodiaks and the Mission City Outlaws (formerly the Hope Icebreakers) among the 10 local teams. Tickets are as cheap as $6. Each year the champion of the PJHL plays against the Kootenay International Junior Hockey League and the Vancouver Island Junior Hockey League in order to determine the winner of the Cyclone Taylor Cup. The winner of this cup goes on to play against the winners from similar contests in Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba and Ontario (12 hockey leagues in total). The team that defeats all others in this final dual wins Western Canada’s Junior B championship, and is awarded the Keystone Cup. The Abbotsford Pilots managed just such a feat in 2012. And, for the first time ever, Abbotsford will host the Keystone Cup championship in 2014.

Baseball

BC Hockey League The Fraser Valley also has several teams that play in the BC Hockey League (BCHL). These include the Chilliwack Chiefs, the Langley Rivermen and the Surrey Eagles. The BCHL is a very competitive league with quality hockey. For just $12 a ticket, it’s hard to go wrong.

BC Premier Baseball League For those more interested in baseball, the Abbotsford Cardinals might be right up your alley. Currently third in their league, this tight-knit team is aiming for its first ever Final Four Championship. Abbotsford

Ditch the diet labels, please MELISSA SPADY contributor

Vegetarian, vegan, Paleo, South Beach, Atkins, raw food, organic Mediterranean ... the list goes on and on. Some of these are a temporary fix, and some are more permanent, but what they all have in common is that they are restrictive “one-approach-fits-all” diets.

I might already be meeting resistance from those who feel parts of my list are “lifestyles,” but I’m going to stop you right there.

Dictionary.com defines a diet in the same way as I understand it.

That is, “a particular selection of food, especially as designed or prescribed to improve a person’s

physical condition or to prevent, or treat a disease.” The selection of food you choose to ingest is your diet, whether it has a particular name or not.

Some may argue that certain dietary approaches are better than others because they have an endorsement from a medical doctor, but I think that’s a bunch of hooey. Sure, medical professionals are experts on the human body, but they’re not an expert on me.

I’ve tried converting to strict vegetarianism for some years now, and I have failed enormously. Most of my meals are meatless, and quite a few are vegan friendly, but I always hit that wall where my body tells me, “you need to eat some meat, girl.” It’s not a

craving, like when I drive past McDonald’s and yearn for French fries. Cravings pass with time. It’s a deep and internal alarm that tells me what my body is missing.

Ignoring it won’t make it go away, and if I do, I’ll feel the physical consequences.

When I would fall off the wagon—and I always would—there would be a distinct sense of guilt after indulging in a turkey breast.

I’ll do better, I promised myself. I never did, and I began to get anxious about eating. What if I eat the wrong thing? If I start telling people I’m a vegetarian will they judge me if I slip up and eat meat?

Would that make me a liar? It became an unhealthy obsession.

What I’ve learned in my many failed attempts to adopt a restric-

will play host to the 2013 Provincials this year, and upgrades to the playing field at Delair Park will be completed by the third week of July when the tournament begins. The Cardinals return home from their roadtrip to play at Delair against the Vancouver Cannons at 7 p.m. on Wednesday, June 12 and again on Tuesday, June 18. Other local teams include the Langley Blaze, the White Rock Tritons and the Coquitlam Reds. See the Premier League website for more.

Abbotsford Angels Hardball Association Midget AA The Abbotsford Angels Hardball Association Midget AA features four Abbotsford teams: the Blue Jays, the Cardinals (not to be confused with the Premier league team), the Giants and the Red Sox. Catch the Abbotsford Blue Jays at Delair Park, who will play against the Ridge Meadow Braves and the Aldergrove Rangers on a back-to-back weekend (Friday, May 24, and Saturday, May 25). Maybe you’d rather check out Chilliwack Minor Baseball Team 2 duke it out against the Abbotsford Cardinals on May 25 at Delair. Or watch Team 1 take on the Abbotsford Red Sox at Delair on Sunday, May 26. If you like good, old-fashioned baseball, you’re sure to enjoy it. Check Abbotsfordbaseball.ca for game times.

Roller Derby

Do you like fast-skating, hardhitting women in tights and roller skates? The correct an-

tive diet is that it doesn’t feel good to me; physically or mentally. I already have a large list of food nonos, why should I feel the need to add more in order to fall under a label? That’s all a widely-accepted diet is, a label. It’s socially exclusive and a lot of the time makes people outside the label feel bad because they are on the “wrong” side. It’s become yet another way to bully each other and ourselves into feeling shame for not fitting the mould.

Self-important labellers step aside, because I’m about to steamroll all over your little power trip.

A label is nothing more than a word hell-bent on making people who don’t fit inside the neat little box feel shitty about themselves, and I’m tired of it. I think a lot of

swer is yes, and that’s why you really should check out the exploding roller derby scene in the Fraser Valley. Abbotsford and Chilliwack used to each have their own all-women, flat-track roller derby leagues (The Reign Valley Vixens and the Voodoo Derby Dollz respectively). The two have recently merged into the Fraser Valley Roller Derby Association in order to build the league – which now features two teams: the Undead Heart Throbs and the Voodoo Derby Dollz. A third team, the Dead Meat Darlins, functions sort of like a farm team and practice squad for new skaters. Games (or bouts) are often played against teams from other leagues, like Vancouver’s Terminal City Rollergirls (whose team Public Frenemy recently played the Dollz). Another Abbotsford-based roller derby league is the Whiskey Renegade Rollers. Roller Derby games are inexpensive to attend, and usually allow even cheaper entry when a non-perishable food item is donated. Find game times at the Fraser Valley Roller Derby or Whiskey Renegade Facebook pages.

Abbotsford BMX

Abbotsford BMX—a one-lap sprint bike racing group—meets at the Abbotsford Exhibition Park on Haida Drive. Come to watch, or for a small fee take part in a race yourself – both indoor and outdoor courses are available, though the outdoor dirt course is by far the coolest.

Abbotsford BMX is permitted by Cycling BC, which is a part of both the Canadian Cycling Association and the International Cycling Union. To find out more check out AbbotsfordBMX.ca

people are. What’s right for one person may be harmful for another, especially when it comes to speciality diets. I know I could never live on a raw vegan diet while maintaining my health, so I won’t, and I’m not going to let anyone make me feel bad about that decision.

I’m all about building a healthy relationship to whole foods. I listen to what my body is telling me and I go by that.

If not eating animals or animal by-products or gluten—or whatever—is healthy for you, I support that completely! Just don’t do it for the words, shame tactics, weird superiority complex and super powers.