Hoboscopes

H O B O S C O P E S

VIRGO

The plot thickens, Virgo. And it’s a good thing, too. Your plot was looking pretty thin there for a while and I, for one, am glad to see things congealing. But it can be pretty intense to deal with all these new characters and possibilities. And maybe you’re worried you won’t have the energy for this new density of action. Move at your own pace, Virgo. And don’t forget to stir.

LIBRA

There are two crows perched on the stonewall in front of my neighbor’s house. I wouldn’t have noticed, except for all the cawing. Are the crows upset? Excited? Are they fighting? Are they trying to draw my attention away from some more exciting event on another wall? I’ll probably never know. There’s a lot of noise around and it’s easy to get distracted, Libra. But you don’t have to know what all the racket is about. Tune in to what matters. Let the crows work out the rest.

S C O R P I O

I just downloaded a new social media app that will really show the world who I am. Everyday it automatically sends a 30 second video of whatever I’m doing to all my friends and I never know when it might happen. Sure, I’m nervous. I’m watching what I say and I haven’t stepped in a bathroom since I installed it. It makes me think, Scorpio, that we shouldn’t have to take drastic measures just because we want to be known by others. Maybe we could spend more time communicating and less time becoming presentable. It’s worth a shot.

SAGITTARIUS

My favorite monarch is probably King Friday XIII from The Neighborhood of Make Believe. Sure, King Friday has some weaknesses. He could be described as pompous and vain. He’s an autocrat who doesn’t always think through the consequences of his rulings. But King Friday learns. When his neighbors come and tell him that what he’s decided is wrong, he eventually believes them. I don’t have much hope for the rulers of the real world, but I have a lot of hope for you, Sagittarius. Discover the areas in your life where you are exercising power. Find out how that power is affecting others and believe them when they tell you what you can’t see.

CAPRICORN

I used to rent DVDs from that place next door to the post office. After it closed, a juice bar opened up there, but it was always the wrong space for it. So today I was surprised to see an inflatable ghost by the door and spooky light-up eyes in the windows. It reminds me, Capricorn, that you’ve got some extra space in your mind lately. Sometimes if it sits empty too long, a little Halloween store might open up in your thoughts. If there’s something you want there instead, you might have to cultivate it. If you won’t fill the space, some other ghost might.

AQUARIUS

There are plenty of statues of Queen Nefertiti. You know the one with that oddly-long neck and the hat that looks like an upside down traffic cone with the pointy-end cut off? Her image has been replicated for 3,500 years. She ruled over one of the most successful periods of ancient Egyptian history. But nobody knows what her favorite flavor of Starburst was or if she preferred The Misfits over Danzig’s later stuff. And nobody knows what she named her favorite rubber duckie. And nobody knows where she’s buried. Live like a queen, Aquarius. We all get lost by the end.

PISCES

I’m staying with my sister for a few days and there’s something off about the houses in this neighborhood. Nobody ever checks the mailboxes. Nobody mows their own lawns. Nobody parks in the driveways. But cars pull up slowly and bring passengers with bags. They pick them up a few days later, but it never looks like the same people to me. My sister says it's all tourists booking homestays online, but I think something’s up. Keep an eye on who drops in and out of your life this week, Pisces. Not everybody is where they’re supposed to be.

ARIES

There’s a buddhist parable about suffering (there are many, in fact) that says suffering is like being struck by an arrow you didn’t see coming. It’s painful. And there was nothing you could do to stop it. But there’s a second arrow on its way, and this one you can avoid. The second arrow is your response. It’s the way you resist or regret or rehash the first. And if you can stop and watch your response, you may be able to get out of the way before the second arrow hits. Suffering will come, Aries, but if you can turn with the pain you may be able to cut it in half.

TAURUS

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GEMINI

I spend all summer looking forward to the fall. And every year I’m surprised that, when it finally arrives, I feel a little sad. There’s just a little more room for it, I think. It’s easier to stand on the porch in the cooling air and look at the yellowing leaves on the big tree. It’s time for some things to pass on, Gemini. And that can be sad even when you know it’s for the best. Don’t beat yourself up over how the changes make you feel.

CANCER

There’s a litter of kittens in the shed on the corner. I just saw one stumble out and blink at the sun just before her mom came to pull her back inside. Pretty soon they’ll get better on their feet and they won’t stay in the shed much longer after that. If we stick around long enough, Cancer, we all grow up. We get stronger and smarter and we have to start taking care of ourselves. But I hope you don’t lose your sense that all of this is pretty new. Stop and notice that the world is a strange place and the sun is too bright.

LEO

I always wanted one of those secret passages where you pull the right book out of the shelf and a tunnel opens to a hidden chamber where all the best things are. How do you get one of those, Leo? In any case, I was noticing that you’ve got some secrets you haven’t been utilizing much lately. You’ve got access to some amazing parts of yourself, but it seems like you're not’ always willing to pull that secret lever. No need to hold back anymore, Leo. This will be more fun if you bring out the good stuff.

Mr. Mysterio is not a licensed astrologer, a trained librarian, or a registered super-host. Mr. Mysterio is, however, a budding intermediate podcaster! Check out The Mr. Mysterio Podcast. Season 2 is now playing at mrmysterio.com. Got a question, just give Mr. M a call at 707-VHS-TAN1