Cullman County Good Life Magazine - Summer 2022

CULLMAN COUNTY

Ben Johnson South loves to ‘laff’ and has a made an art of amorphisms

A new drug injection is ending PTSD nightmares for vets and their families SUMMER 2022 | COMPLIMENTARY

Skydive Alabama means free-falling over the Cullman County countryside

v Cosmetic and Family Dentistry Featuring: Porcelain Veneers, Dental Implants, Crowns, Bridges, Zoom Whitening, and Full Smile Rehabilitations.

Dental Arts has provided high-quality dental care to our area since 1981. In 2015, Dr. Kari Bartlett took over Dental Arts continuing the tradition of dental excellence.

With the old office on 2nd Avenue growing crowded, Dr. Bartlett built a state-of-the-art office on 4th Avenue to better serve her patients. She and her growing staff – complimented by her associate, Dr. Abby DiLuzio – remain committed to providing top-quality dentistry and friendly, personal service for you and your family.

We’d love to have you visit our new office and help you smile more!

Dr. Abby DiLuzio, associate Dr. Kari L. Bartlett, owner

Dental Arts is located in the new North Alabama Wellness Center on 4th Ave NE, across the street and a half block south of the Folsom Center.

205 4th Ave NE Suite 101 Cullman, AL 35055

256-739-5533 www.dentalartscullman.com

MY DOCTOR KNOWS ME If you’re looking for a primary care doctor, you want someone who knows you. With Cullman Regional Medical Group, you’re more than just a patient – you’re the center of it all.

Visit CullmanRegionalMedicalGroup.com

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Welcome

You shouldn’t be shoved from an airplane, but if you decide to jump ...

I

tried to give this issue’s skydiving story to Seth Terrell. He declined, basically saying that to do it right he’d need to actually go skydiving. And he didn’t care to – so it was the right choice.

As it turns out, Seth did his usual insightful job on the more important story about how a new type of shot makes tremendously positive impacts on the lifestyles of local veterans (and their families) suffering from PTSD. In turn, I took the skydiving story.

Several of the passionate folks I interviewed in Cullman for a recent weekend “boogie” hosted by Skydive

Alabama agreed that the activity is not for everyone; still, they said, everyone should try it at least once.

Well, probably not everyone, but I tried it – 11 times. Only it wasn’t recently. I jumped in 1980 for a story in the Shelby County Reporter where I worked, and, soon afterward, for a story in Birmingham Magazine. I brought that second one out of retirement to share with you in this issue, along with the other skydiving coverage.

It still blows my mind that during that same time my now wife Diane, a piano teacher and church organist, made three jumps. Before I trotted off to Skydive Alabama to talk with skydivers and fly

in the plane, she made me promise not to jump. With or without a chute. She needn’t have worried. That said, I would not trade my past experience for anything that immediately comes to mind.

Obviously, not everyone will consider it sane to skydive, even once. And unless you’re on a special ops mission, you shouldn’t be coerced into trying.

If, however, you do decide to try it, I will say this: You will find it an incredible rush and walk away (well, in all likelihood) pumped full of self-confidence and life.

And probably laughing your head off, too.

Contributors David Myers was born and raised in New Orleans amidst the festivities and food for which the Crescent City is famous. He and wife Rose are excited to share reviews of our local eateries, especially considering our steady increase in excellent dining options.

Editor: I need contributor blurb info.

Seth: We got a new rescue puppy, name’s Jasper, my girls adore him ... I’m look forward to getting my kayak and paddle board out when it’s warm ... I don’t know. Dealer’s choice. Editor: Fine. I can handle it.

Besides GLM book reviews and serving as a proofreader, Deb Laslie is also known for occasional words of wisdom. To wit: “They say money can’t buy happiness. But I have a receipt from the bookstore telling a whole different story.”

Ad/art director Sheila McAnear grew up with three brothers, had three sons, and now gets to welcome a daughter-in-law to her family this summer. Kiah Ingham and Sheila’s youngest son, Terry, will marry in May. “Finally,” she says with delight, “another girl!”

Mo Mc PUBLISHING LLC

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With gas prices high, Steve Maze of New Canaan decided to write about the days of gas rationing for this issue. “I started riding my mule since the price of gasoline is so expensive. My fuel cost has gone down, but emissions are much higher...”

When mother of four and freelancer Jacquelyn Hall isn’t occupied with the metaphorical spinning plates of everyday life, she enjoys trips into the fictional worlds of her favorite authors, and cooking dishes from those stories.”

David Moore readily confesses that, for a writer, he’s not always the greatest observer of the arcane details that make life so interesting. But he did have this recent insight: Grass always grows faster when one is busy with magazine deadlines.

David F. Moore Publisher/editor | 256-293-0888 david.goodlifemagazine@gmail.com

Vol. 9 No.4 Copyright 2022 Published quarterly

Sheila T. McAnear Advertising/art director | 256-640-3973 sheila.goodlifemagazine@gmail.com

MoMc Publishing LLC P.O. Box 28, Arab, Al 35016 www.good-life-magazine.net

A Cullman County Landmark . . .

Samuel Tucker

Erik Harris

Jim Cheatham

Adam Aker

Billy Hulsey

Dylan Curvin

Sales

Sales

Sales

Sales

Sales

Sales

Tiffany Hulsey

Wayne Day

Sales

Cust. Exp. Amb.

Jesse Ramirez

Summer Calvert

Sales

Title Clerk

1655 Cherokee Avenue SW • Cullman, Alabama Oscar Ramirez

256-734-6430

www.MSCHEVY.com Shelley Stewart

Sales

Dustin Hembree Used Vehicle Mgr.

Office Manager

Randy Lamb

New Vehicle Mgr.

Tim Calvert

General Sales Mgr.

Sharon Smith Dealer

Paul Schaffer General Manager

Shelia Windsor F & I Manager

Wayne King F & I Manager

Christie Bright BDC Manager

Inside 11 | Good Fun

Summer’s here and the time is right for, well, lots of good stuff

16 | Good People

Ben “Laff” Johnson: he’s not only been South, but he is the South

22 | Good Reads

In search of an adventure; and finding we all have some wings

25 | Good Cooking

Kimberly Overton sometimes finds recipe inspiration while driving

35 | Good Getaways

Home-spun fun in Blountsville with Bloom-N-Pie Days.

38 | ‘Rustic it up’

Beth Branch added the “rustic” to the getaway her father created

44 | Ledgers

Meeting our reviewers’ high expectations at Stone Bridge

46 | Pain at the pump Yep, gas prices are way up, but at least it’s not rationed

48 | Mr. President?

If Caleb does well at president school, he may draw himself

56 | Brian Monk 2.0

Cullman’s VFW commander is one of the local vets overcoming PTSD

64 | Skydiving

Lots of folks find lots of reasons to jump out of perfectly good planes

74 | Out ‘n’ About

Stop by Cullman High and take a new look at its storied history On the cover | Adam “Crash” Tallman of Georgia skydives over Cullman County. Photo

by Jonathan Bizilia.

This page | Showing class ... the entire senior class in the 1915 Cullman County High School yearbook. Photo by David Moore 8

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Among the crew are, from left, Zach Dodd, Shelby Allen, Zach Rice and Josh Veres.

24 tables +15 bar seats x 500 degrees = 1 great kitchen staff There are more reasons you enjoy eating at since it opened. They chop lettuce, make dressings, Augusta’s Sports Grill than there are patrons waiting make sauces, bread shrimp, wash potatoes and for a table on Saturday. Here are seven reasons that veggie fixings for burgers, grind meat, make patties may never have occurred to you: Josh, Shelby, Zach, and sauté onions and mushrooms. the other Zach, George, Maria and Ernesto – the core “In all my years in restaurants, I never had a of the world’s best kitchen staff. kitchen staff this skilled, this helpful and so good at OK … owner Deb Veres can and does cook, too. communicating,” Deb beams. “I don’t think people But you likely see her out working the crowd. understand how difficult that is – when you are as Let’s start with son Josh Veres, who to the kitchen busy as we are – to maintain quality and be timely.” was born. As a kid, he’d go – without bribery – grocery Consider: A server takes an order for a table shopping with Deb. of five – chicken tenders, a well-done steak, a rare “And when we got home he wanted to help put steak, grilled salmon and a burger. The grill cook, fry up the groceries,” Mom says. “Then he’d just look at cook and expo have to juggle and communicate the all of the food, like, ‘Wow!’” timing on cooking each item to order and still have Now, as co-owner in charge of the kitchen, Josh them hot when they’re plated and go out. is not only chief grill cook, but he hand cuts meat, With 18 inside tables, four on the patio and orders groceries and keeps tabs on the money. A 15 bar seats … well, you do the math. And it’s not workhorse, he pulls double weekend shifts for lunch uncommon to heap on 8-9 to-go orders at the same and dinner. time.

Shelby Allen, the kitchen manager, has been in Consider, too, that on Fridays the kitchen Augusta’s kitchen six years. staff is running at full throttle for about 4 straight “She’s in charge of quality control when Josh hours. And though Augusta’s opens at 11 a.m. on is not here, making sure everything looks and Saturdays, after noon:30 or so, there’s a line waiting tastes good, is properly rotated on the shelves and for tables until 9 or 10 o’clock. the kitchen is clean,” Deb says. “She holds to our Oh, and those grills? They are a blistering 500 Typically the kitchen staff and servers standards. I always trust her.” degrees. get orders out in 15-20 minutes, maybe 25 Zach Dodd has seniority on Shelby, but only by a “It takes not just the kitchen working together, handful of weeks. He’s a great grill cook who can also but the dishwashers and servers, too,” Deb says. “We on a buzzing Saturday. Nachos always make fry anything and make it taste good. have to be a team – and I love that we are.” even a short wait more pleasant.

Then there’s Zach Rice, an awesome cook Deb An unusual sign of that team spirit is that Deb calls Boggin’ Head and Frymaster. He can also “expo” often hears busy servers ask if they can get the – put orders together on the plate. kitchen staff a drink. And at the end of the shift, the kitchen staff is asking the servers Grill cook George White – who’s been with Deb since she managed Logan’s if they would like something cooked.

Roadhouse – rounds out the cook staff.

By that time, of course, Augusta’s customers are already home, happily recalling “George comes up with things that are not on the menu all the time,” Deb says. that great meal the nice server brought them. And that’s OK, too. Because ultimately the kitchen staff – and everyone on the Augusta’s team – is there to make you happy “Our grilled asparagus was his idea.”

Key to the kitchen are prep staffers Maria and Ernesto. She’s been at Augusta’s and help you remember: food for the body, good times for the soul.

Open Tues.-Thurs, 4-8:30 / Fri.-Sat. 11-10

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609 Graham Street SW, Cullman

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256-775-9445

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Good Fun

Summer’s here, the time is right . . . for rock ‘n’ fun • Now through May 20 – Register for “The Marvelous Wonderettes” Catch a matinee performance of “The Marvelous Wonderettes” at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival on June 15. The off-Broadway, jukebox musical comedy is set during the 1958 Springfield High School prom where Betty Jean, Cindy Lou, Missy and Suzy reunite to perform at their 10-year high school reunion. The musical features more than 30 classic songs from the 1950s and ‘60s.

The Wallace State Alumni Association’s excursion to Montgomery departs from the college at 10:30 am and returns at 8 pm that evening. The $102 rate includes transportation, orchestra seating and a tour guide. A stop for a Dutch-treat dinner will be made on the way home.

The Gin Blossoms are headlining the Strawberry Festival.

Visit www.wsccalumni.org/asf22 for more information and to make a reservation; or contact: LaDonna Allen: 256-352-8071; ladonna.allen@ wallacestate.edu.

• Now through July – Lots of CPRST camps Cullman Park, Recreation and Sport Tourism is again offering more than 40 “summer camps” throughout June and July to keep your children safely engaged while having fun. (There are adult camps, too.) They focus on theater, pre-school and elementary gardening, sewing, science, heritage skills, cooking, creative writing , nature, music, technology and more.

For more info, pricing and registration, visit: cullmanrecreation. recdesk.com. NOTE: Camp Cullman is already full for both sessions.

• May 7 – Strawberry Festival As the oldest Strawberry Festival in Alabama, the Cullman Strawberry Festival is one the whole family will not want to miss.

Gin Blossoms will headline the entertainment. The alt rock band from Arizona formed in 1987, rising to prominence with the 1992 release of their first major label album, “New Miserable Experience.” The first single from it, “Hey Jealousy” was a Top 25 hit and went gold. New Miserable Experience eventually went quadruple platinum with four other charting singles on it.

The band’s follow-up album, “Congratulations I’m Sorry,” went platinum and the single “As Long as It Matters” was nominated for a Grammy Award.

Also performing – along with lots of local talent – will be Chayce Beckham, a buzzed-about newcomer in country music who was the first winner on American Idol to claim the title with an original song.

Strawberry Festival also features a pageant for ages 0 months to 12thgrade girls, a craft show, local food vendors and all the strawberries one can eat. Mr. and Mrs. Berry are always around and ready to take pictures MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

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as the official mascots of Strawberry Festival.

Centered around First Avenue and Depot Park, Cullman Strawberry Festival is sponsored by Cullman Parks, Recreation & Sports Tourism.

It starts with the farmer’s market at 7 a.m. and is wide open from 10 to at least 10 p.m. with a beauty pageant, kids carnival, craft show, local food vendors, The always popular Doggy “Paw”geant, baking competition and strawberries galore. For more info: cullmanstrawberryfest.com.

• May 14 – Happy Hippie Festival Pull out your railroad striped bellbottoms and beads and attend this blast from the past and fun day and show up at Cullman County Ag and Trade Center from 9 am-5 pm. Vintage t-shirts, albums, posters, candles, etc.

So much happy merchandise. Car show and food. Sponsored by Cullman County Park and Rec. Admission is $7 per adult; kids are free.

• May 14 – Stony Lonesome Mud Run This event is rain or shine – since

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you’ll be sloshing in the mud anyway, rain can only help. Hundreds of crazies are expected to brave the fun and muddy obstacles for the annual 5K or one-mile walk/run at Stony Lonesome OHV Park on Ala. 69 in Bremen.

The races start at 8 a.m. You might want to go ahead and register.

Pre-registration fees to participate are $30 for the event (those 13 and younger need to be accompanied by an adult) and the fun mile run/walk (all ages). It’s free to come out and watch the mud fly. You can register the day of but there’s an added fee.

For more info and to register online: http://www.cullmancountyparks.com; or call: 256-287-1133.

• May 28 – Smith Lake Memorial Day Usher in the summer at Cullman County’s Smith Lake Park with its annual music festival from 9 am–6 pm on the Saturday before Memorial Day. Live music will be going on all day as well as craft and food vendors along with fun contests, bounce houses and such for the kids and the decorated golf cart parade. Other events will take place

between the music and the decorated golf carts. The pool opens and – of course – there’s always the lake.

Admission to the park is free. For more info, call the park: 256-739-2916.

• June 6 – Final payment for Autumn in Canada and New England There’s still space for this sevennight cruise aboard the Norwegian Pearl. Fly from Birmingham to Boston, where you’ll enjoy a Tea Party Dinner and a Freedom Trail tour the first two days before boarding the cruise ship.

The next seven days will include calls at Charlottetown, Prince Edward Isle; Sydney, Nova Scotia, Portland and Bar Harbor, Maine; and back to Boston to make the flight home.

Rates range from $2,899 to $6,399 per person depending on room selection and Alumni membership status.

A minimum down payment of $600 is due at the time of the reservation.

For more info visit: www.wsccalumni. org/cruise22 or contact: LaDonna Allen: 256-352-8071; ladonna.allen@ wallacestate.edu.

The Wallace State Alumni cruise will stop in Portland, Maine, where the coast is beautiful. Portland Head Lighthouse photo by David Moore.

• June 11 – Hanceville Antique Tractor and Engine Show The show’s 24th edition will be from 9 am-3 pm, at Wallace State Community College should be something extra special this year.

Charles Allen, one of the organizers, says he usually gets about 50 or so commitments, but this year’s show should easily top that. The Alabama Chapter of the International Harvester Collector club is holding its state show in combination with the local Hanceville show.

“We will have a lot more tractors and people,” Charles says.

There will also be a traveling grist mill, maybe a knife sharpener, knife maker, tractor parade (about noon), tractor races, a skillet-throwing contest, food trucks, homemade ice cream and more.

There is no registration fee, and admission is free. Bring a lawn chair for the races. For more info, call: Charles Allen, 205-616-4173; Bonnie Hamrick Brannan, 256-5902478; or Hanceville City Hall, 256352-9830.

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Smith Lake Park celebrate the nation’s birthday with fireworks, golf cart parades and more. Photos by CCPR. • July 4 – Smith Lake fireworks Lots of folks missed Smith Lake’s annual Fourth of July fireworks extravaganza last year, canceled because of Covid. But it’ll be back this year with a bang.

Plans were incomplete at press time, but entertainment, games, fun, food and arts and crafts vendors are expected at the park during the day with a 30-minute fireworks show thundering in at 9 pm. Admission to the park for the day is $5 per person.

For more info call: 256-739-2916.

• Aug. 5-6 – Rock the South Take one of the absolutely bestknown bands in country music history and put them at the top of the bill with one of the biggest, record-breaking performers on the country charts and you have the formula for, well, what else … Rock the South.

Alabama and Morgan Wallen will take the most famous stage in Cullman along with HARDY, Jamey Johnson, Koe Wetzel, Jimmie Allen, Colt Ford, Matt Stell and Dee Jay Silver at the 2022 Rock the South music festival.

Morgan Wallen has over 4 billion streams, multi-platinum certifications and four consecutive chart-toppers.

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Alabama and Morgan Wallen, above, headline Rock the South 2022.

His “Dangerous: The Double Album,” debuted in January 2021 at #1 on the Billboard 200 Albums. It was the biggest ever streaming week for a country album; and this March set the all-time record for longest duration in that #1 spot.

Playing a homecoming concert in their home state, Alabama will show why their claim to fame includes 21 straight #1 hits – a record never equaled in any genre. The most successful country band of the 1980s, they developed an energetic crossover sound combining mainstream country with an electric Southern rock element.

As a quartet they accumulated 32 No.

1 singles, sold more than 73 million albums, are in the Country Music Hall of Fame and have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

The festival will again be held at York Farms, 1872 County Road 469, just west of Cullman.

General admission tickets for the weekend are $129.99 through July 12; $139.99 after that; and $150 at the gate. VIP tickets – with air-conditioned tent, lounge seating, tables, private bar and private restrooms – are $349.99.

RV parking and car camping are available. For more info or to order tickets: www.rockthesouth.com.

Good Life Magazine

Cullman is … ... where we raise our family “We couldn’t imagine raising our kids anywhere else. A small town with everything we need right here. Cullman feels safe to us, and we wouldn’t want it any other way for our family!” – Taylor Howell, with Riggins, their dog, husband Blake and children Wren and Rutledge

... where we worship “I was Daystar’s first intern 16 years ago.

With Kassady and our son Chasen, I moved back in 2020 to pastor here and be closer to our family. It allows us to worship together. The strongest families I know are those that worship together.” – Ory Hampton, Daystar Church Campus Pastor

...where opportunity thrives Did you know?

From 2010 to 2020, we recorded one of Alabama’s highest growth rates.

According to the Census, the population of Cullman city grew 23.9 percent, while the county increased 9 percent.

Find your place in Cullman

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256-739-1891

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Good People

5questions Story and photo

by David Moore

S

o ... how would you even start a story on Ben Johnson?

“Laff evry day,” replies the man with the pseudonym Ben Johnson South, “with ‘laugh’ spelled funny. So is ‘every.’ But I would say ‘Laff evry day” is my motto. It has so much resonance with me.

“It’s also the name of a song in my rockabilly musical, “The Original Oneliner American Diner,” adds Ben, his mind ricocheting off verbal bumpers like a pinball. “I love one-liners.”

Ben and a cast of Cullman characters were in the midst of rehearsing for the musical’s April 9, 2020, premier in Birmingham when it drowned in the initial tidal wave of Covid closings. It still awaits resurrection.

“Maybe someone will read this in the article and decide to host it,” Ben unabashedly hints. “It’s a charm bracelet musical with all genres of music. Laff evry day is one of its messages. I’ve written 5,000-plus one-liners in a journal.

I had all of these laughs that were entertaining. How could I use them?”

“The Original One-liner American Diner” was his answer.

Ben’s other plays, seasoned with his humorous aphorisms, include “Yours Eternally; Letters of a Lifetime,” “Master and Gardener; A Year of Philosophy and Flowers,” “So Southern; The Seven Keys to Cullman County” and “Y’all of Fame.”

“They are wrenching works of brilliant drama,” he deadpans.

But it’s hard to laugh – at least with any joy – amidst cruelty. So Ben once embarked upon a campaign to recognize the kindest folks in Cullman, presenting the likes of Leldon Maxcy, Evelyn Hunt, Danny MacAfee and others with baskets of fresh items from Festhalle Farmers Market. David and Paula Poynor would have been good ones to get a basket of tomatoes, he notes.

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Ben Johnson

On choosing joy, choosing kindness and helping people ‘laff evry day’ “Three things in human life are important,” Ben says, quoting Henry James. “The first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”

Number four? “Laff evry day.”

A

nother aphorism-turned-song-title from his musical is this: “Serious Ain’t Solemn.”

“It’s a truism,” Ben says. “The two are not the same. My ex-wife more than once said I could not take anything seriously.

She was wrong – I cannot take anything solemnly.”

He says he inherited the trait from his late mother.

It’s perhaps telling, Ben notes, that he was born in Tuscaloosa … two blocks from the state mental institution. He was 4 months old when his parents – both of whom earned GEDs and PhDs – moved to Grandview, where he grew up in Cullman County.

Ruby Johnson was an English professor who taught “everyone in Cullman County – or their mother – or grandmother,” Ben says. His father (also named Ben) taught philosophy at St. Bernard’s.

“Dad was broad in his thinking. He was really smart,” Ben says. “But his sense of humor was like a 12-year-old boy – physical humor, slapdash, keystone cops. Dad loved Red Skelton. I did, too, but I preferred Jack Benny.”

Ruby was very funny, but she tightly closeted it from the public.

“Her humor was palatably dynamic,” Ben says. “Behind closed doors, to me at least, she was Jack Benny in a skirt. Her humor had a sting. It could be sarcastic.

It was also observational humor, like Seinfeld. She never used vulgarity. That is where my appreciation of humor came from.

“Mother’s humor was more about words,” Ben adds. “She introduced me to the writing of Dorothy Parker, who said (paraphrased), ‘The soul of wit is brevity, as is lingerie.’”

Prior to Ruby becoming a teacher, she was stay-at-home mom to Ben and read voraciously.

“That,” he laughs, “is why I had a pet billy goat name Billy Faulkner.”

As Ben got older and Ruby began teaching, too, the Johnson household grew “consummately educational,” Ben says.

“My parents were brilliant. You couldn’t get away with anything,” he says. “It was very stimulating. It would be awful for any child if you weren’t energetic and driven. It would not have been a good household to be in. We had a big dictionary in the breakfast room.

Anytime you asked a question, you were sent to the encyclopedia or dictionary.”

T

hough Ben the professor was not politically inclined initially, his interest grew and he became astute at it. Ben the son likes telling the following tale involving Gov. George Wallace and his dad …

“Wallace is not always portrayed in a positive light, but Dad thought he was a progressive visionary when it came to the community college system.”

So his dad had helped Wallace in North Alabama with his first campaign.

After the win, the men had lunch at the old B&B Café, and the new governor invited Dr. Ben to join his administration.

“Happy teaching,” the professor replied, adding that it was an interesting offer. So, Wallace said he’d make him head of the state prisons.

“Couldn’t chain up a dog.”

“So, what would you propose?”

“The junior college you’re planning for Oneonta,” said Dr. Ben, “I’d like you build that in Cullman County.”

“So Wallace State Community College is a political payoff,” Ben the son says.

“I didn’t realize until I moved back how many lives in Cullman County were upgraded by Dad having the foresight to have Wallace State built here.”

Wallace took office in 1963. Later that

SNAPSHOT: Ben Johnson

EARLY LIFE: Born in Tuscaloosa, March 6, 1952, to Dr. Ben and Dr. Ruby Johnson, both deceased; one older and three younger siblings. Moved to Cullman County as a baby.

EDUCATION: Graduated – as a junior – from Cullman High, 1969; bachelor’s degree with double majors in English and sociology, University of North Alabama, 1973; master’s degree in social work gerontology, University of Alabama, 1975; further post-grad work in gerontology and counseling (which he may yet pursue for his doctorate); and studied advertising at Emory University.

PERSONAL LIFE: Married 31 years; divorced. His son, Simeon, is a lawyer in Birmingham.

CAREER: Public relations for non-profit Library for the Blind, 1973-1995; corporate speech writer and PR for AT&T in Birmingham, 1981-1995; Birmingham advertising firm Jackhammer, 1995-97; conceived and owned Southernness, an “upscale brand for the American South” that sold to over 200 gift store (including Ritz-Carlton) in 12 states, 1997-2013; present, writes for The Cullman Tribune.

INVOLVEMENT AND RECOGNITION: Master Gardener; former member of the Birmingham Optimist Club; awarded Most Innovative Thinker by AT&T, which at the time had 100,000 employees; recognized by national Brand Week magazine for top-10 branding campaign; awarded Best Feature Story by Alabama Press Association for his “67-county Garden Party” series in The Cullman Tribune; conducts annual history walks for Cullman County Museum in April.

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year the legislature approved formation of WSCC predecessor, the George C. Wallace State Trade School of Cullman County, and the Alabama Community College System Board of Trustees appointed Ben the professor as director in 1965. Classes began in 1966.

In 1969, Ben the son graduated his junior year from Cullman High, following an educational path that ended in 1976, a year shy of his PhD. After that, he spent most of his time living, working, creating … and making folks laff in Birmingham.

“Is there an elevation beyond class clown?” he asks rhetorically. “My heroes have always been rodeo clowns.”

B

en likes his shirts starched crisper than a new C-note. Which led to a memorably bad day in Birmingham when he stopped at the dry cleaner on his way to work.

“These shirts don’t seem to hold starch like they should,” he told Kelly behind the counter.

“Just … just leave those here,” she replied nervously. “We’ll take care of them.”

“I’m not saying it’s your fault,” he continued, a bit miffed. “But …”

Ben was rudely interrupted by a robber he’d apparently interrupted moments before. The man stepped from behind the door to the back of the building with a gun pulled. Ben fumbled as fast as he could for the exit.

“I ran down the street with my arms up,” he laughs in retrospect. “That was before cell phones, and I ran to a phone booth like Superman, but I probably messed my pants. It took the Birmingham police 15 minutes to get there.

“And I’m thinking, if I’m going to get killed it’s going to be about heavy starch?”

There have been worse things in his life than scant starch and pulled guns. In 2011 his mother died after a protracted battle with cancer. Two years later, he returned to Cullman to care of his father during his final few years.

Sometimes it takes effort. But Ben Johnson consciously tries to view the world as a beautiful place.

“My First words – with exclamation marks – were, ‘Look! Look!’ Well,” he reconsiders, “they were probably ‘Wook!

Wook!’ Wook at this wonderful world we’ve been given.”

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1.

You exude a rather joyous celebration of the world and life. Where does that come from?

It comes from my parents. The formula, I understand, for those who have a joyous proclivity for life is 50 percent genetic, 40 percent intentional and 10 percent circumstantial. You can’t change the 10 percent or the 50 percent. But the 40 percent you can change.

It’s all in what your attitude is.

Everybody will have hard stuff happen.

You just have to choose to be happy. I choose joy. I choose to laff evry day.

I’m writing about laughter for my “52 Odes to Joy,” a year-long series I’m doing for The Cullman Tribune. Last week it was on gardening. This week (second week of March) it’s about laughter. I don’t get paid for my writing. I do it because I just love the project.

Did you know that when you tickle mice they laugh? When Tom and Jerry were giggling in the old cartoon, that was real for mice.

Laughter is part of our makeup, part of our brains. We are like holy medicine men when we make people laugh and live joyously – and not solemnly.

Mother had died when I moved back from Birmingham to Cullman in 2013.

Dad was still living at the farm in the Baldwin community. It was a beautiful, faux farm; no livestock but a certified Audubon Society sanctuary. Mom had the largest private butterfly garden in Alabama.

What I’m getting to, it’s so wrong, but often true of families … when I came back to help my dad, he was a lot to handle.

I would regularly visit my mother’s cemetery plot and kvetch about him to Mom – “How did you put up with this old coot?” I would know she was smiling in heaven, laughing, “I told you so!”

It was enriching caring for him. Not very fun, but it was a very bonding and healing time after decades of a challenging relationship between two men very much alike. I hope I can annoy my father like he did me – and maybe I already have.

I call myself a gregarious hermit – that’s how Dad was. I spend 90 percent of my day at home alone, writing, painting.

Our temperament was a lot alike.

But I do choose joy. I wake up every

morning and stretch a smile across my face. Then I start a pot of coffee, pick up a pencil and start thinking, and it’s like that all day long. It’s not necessarily deep thinking; it may have the depth of a pie tin, but it is jing-jangling all day long until I go to bed.

2.

Is creativity, and perhaps curiosity, an expression of your joy of life?

When we are creating something … that’s what God did: creation. It gets us as close as we can get to God when we are creating something.

I think that everyone is naturally creative. We all have a desire to make stuff. I was encouraged a lot along those lines. My parents were indulgent about books, questioning, new experiences.

Nothing was off limits.

They were broad thinking. You could question any politics or religion. You had to be questioning. You were not alive if you were not questing stuff. They want you to be vibrating with curiosity.

My mother was Southern Baptist and went to Wednesday night prayer meetings.

But she taught me to dance and enjoyed the social glass of wine. Late in her life she was even open to the idea of abortion being acceptable. That surprised me.

Dad only went to church during political years. I remember coming home from Sunday school once. Dad was reading newspaper and asked what I learned.

I said we learned about the 10 Commandants, and he said, “Do you think all 10 are necessary?” And I thought, “Mom is right – you’re going to hell.” But he just wanted me to think through them.

It may not “question,” but I think my painting communicates joy. I have been fortunate to be represented in the best galleries in Nashville, Atlanta, Birmingham, Seaside, Highland, North Carolina, Jackson, Mississippi and once at a gallery in Washington, D.C. I think the influences on my art add to communicating joy. When I was in France I studied Matisse and Dufy. That probably affected my aphorisms. The gift that Matisse gives to the history of art is simplifying the image. That’s like one-liners are – whittling off what is extraneous. My art, I think, gets down to as few lines as possible.

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Painting makes me happy. In my studio with the Beatles playing – Dusty Springfield, the English invasion – the colors are happy, vivacious and vibrant and bodacious, there is no restraint.

Father and I are both outspoken, maybe not as restrained as we should be.

Creativity and curiosity are kin. Both of my parents were orphans, which can make you curious about where you came from. You explore and make things. You make up your own script when you don’t have a family script.

I came by my curiosity genetically.

I have the gift of perpetual curiosity.

Maybe in my plays I wrote my own script on how to live in the world.

about Col. Cullmann. He was a rounder, you know. A bad ass. It may be my last time to lead a historic walking tour of Cullman, but it’s going to be fun. I have not written it yet, but it’s going to be funny.

That’s another thing … Cullman has a sense of humor. You can find it at the All Steak’s bar, any night at Goat Island Brewing and at any fun lady’s luncheon.

Cullman has a sense of humor. It’s ready for a laugh.

You’re quite the fan of Cullman.

Care to explain its appeal?

They’re all my favorites, but here are some I especially like …

• A Hank Williams Saturday night makes a Billy Graham Sunday morning even sweeter.

• These four prayers heard ‘round the world: Thanks, gimme, oops and wow.

That one is actually the first line of a Christian folk song in “The Original One-Liner American Diner,” the musical I co-wrote with Stephen Anthony Elkins of New York City.

• Blame it on my roots, I showed up in majorette boots.

• Being shot out of a cannon was on my bucket list, but I’m not of high enough caliber.

• Perhaps I’m paranoid about being 70, but this morning I was walking past Cullman Cemetery and two guys with shovels started following me.

• One Christmas my parents said I couldn’t get a puppy, so I asked for a baby brother and it worked – I got a puppy.

• Not bragging, but last year I kept my New Year’s resolution to drink bourbon every day.

• I think fondly of my youth … then I think about acne, being a Bearcat benchwarmer and algebra.

• Sex is good, but not as good as Cullman County sweet potatoes.

• Every day is a gift, but some should be re-gifted.

• This spring, I dove into a pool of gratitude and have not yet emerged.

• God, as I age, I pray to be more saintly rather than so damned sexy. Amen.

• My bow tie is weeping in this heat. I hate emotional ties.

3.

For one, it’s very easy to live in.

It’s orderly. When you are a writer and painter, you don’t want a lot of hubbub going on to distract you. Orderly makes it easy to manage daily life.

Two of Cullman’s greatest art supporters are Sheriff Matt Gentry and Chief Kenny Culpepper. They and their associates keep the county and city lawabiding, orderly and safe so the rest of the citizens don’t have to think about the chaos that goes with crime.

Cullman is also lush and fecund, beautiful and sensuous. You can grow anything here. You could put a thorn in the Cullman soil at dusk and pick an armload of roses in the morning.

The people are genuinely warm, too.

There is a bit of formality and reserve that goes with the German heritage. Some cultures work hard and that’s all they do.

It’s what I found visiting Germany, and it’s true in Cullman: you work hard and play hard.

Cullman is also warm-hearted. If the food banks get low, or some community need needs addressing, Cullman residents respond. The vibe is one of helpfulness, cooperation, neighborliness. Everybody does their part.

Another thing I notice: no one gets elevated above others. Well, there is that statue of Col. Cullmann …

I lead a historic walking tour every April, and this year I will combine it with “Laff Evry Day” and tell people ten things they never knew that were funny 20

MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

4.

Over the years, you’ve composed some 5,000 aphorisms. Want to reach into that big bag of one-liners and share some of your favorites?

• I like Duchess Donuts in a silver bowl … also in a Ziploc bag or off a car mat.

• There’s an aggressive, seven-foot tall woman on my porch. I may have gotten my Amazon order wrong.

• I’ve lost both my parents … and now the keys to my Jeep.

• I was cute when I was bald and toothless and hope to be again.

• Airbags save lives. Windbags test them.

• Of all the banjos in all the South, I had to pick you.

• Opportunity knocks. Passion bangs!

• The best ten-course meal in Cullman is at the bowling center: four slawdogs and a six-pack.

• I drove alone to and from a party at Smith Lake. Just had two arguments and one fight.

• Don’t wait for someone to make you laff evry day … if you want it done right you have to DIY. • I’m getting married by December 2022 so I won’t have to think up my own New Year’s resolutions.

• Jesus is my life coach. Buddha is my diet coach.

• I’ve met a nice lady my age, but she has kids, and she lives in a shoe.

And. of course. I love this one: Serious ain’t solemn.

5.

What’s something most people don’t know about Ben Johnson “South”?

I am a professional pie judge. I have judged the Cullman County fair six years.

And at the Lawrence County Fair. I want my tombstone to read: “Ben Johnson South – Pie Judge.”

Some people don’t know my pseudonym comes from my Southernness Company. I’d answer the phone and get, “Is this Mr. South?” After you get that a hundred times … “Well, as a matter of fact it is. Yeah, just go with that.”

When I first moved back I thought I would just rent a house, that I would be here two months – not nine years. I always used to say, “I’m not leaving Cullman through Moss Services!” But here I am, 70, so maybe I am.

Also, for one year I managed a NASCAR driver and team. That might surprise people.

Good Life Magazine

MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

21

Good Reads

‘The Road We Traveled’ offers a new meaning of hardship

Veronica Speedwell is off on a charming, fast-paced story

veryone loves a good story. And award-winning Jane Kirkpatrick gives us great ones. Stories of love and laughter, pain and heartache, good times celebrated and bad times overcome. But always, always her stories allow us to become a part of another life, another land, another experience that somehow “A life that is worth influences our own writing at all, is worth stories. writing minutely and “The Road We Traveled” introduces truthfully.” Longfellow. us to Tabby Brown, the She penned it in her “Mother of Oregon,” as memoir. This was a we travel from Missouri truth, but perhaps a along the Oregon Trail little embellishment now with her family. and then wouldn’t hurt “Hardship” has a new meaning for me either. A story should be after reading her story. interesting after all.

(Could I have endured?)

Go or stay? Which trails to follow? Known trails with known fears or new ones with uncertainty ahead?

Decisions are made with love and a wisdom that comes from generations of family fortitude. With determination, a good shot of stubbornness and her indomitable spirit, Tabby’s journey to a new future allows her to discover her and her family’s unrealized strengths. We learn, too, that “family is stronger than fear.” Oh, and there’s Beatrice the chicken – every good story should have a chicken. We all have wings.

– Deb Laslie

have been brought up to do good works and to conduct myself with propriety and decorum, and yet I am forever doing the unexpected. Something always gives me away for what I really am.”

“And what are you, child?”

“Miss Speedwell, I have “A woman in search of adventure.” hiked the length of the And so we meet Amazon River. I have Veronica Speedwell been accosted by native in Deanna Raybourn’s tribes and shot twice. I series starting with “A have nearly met my death Curious Beginning.” by quicksand, snakebite, I was delighted it finally worked its way poisoned arrows, and to the top of my pile. one particularly fiendish It’s a charming, well jaguar. And I have never, written story, fastuntil this moment, been paced plot with lots of quite so surprised by twists and turns and anything as I am by you.” believable characters I love (well, except for the bad guys). Best of all it made me smile.

Miss Veronica Speedwell and her companion, the bad-tempered (but “well proportioned”) natural historian Stoker, apply their talents in hopes of determining just who is trying to kill her – and for heaven’s sake, why?

She’s just a self-taught lepidopterist with a lethal hat pin and excellent manners. Enjoy!

– Deb Laslie

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Good Cooking

Kimberly Overton Cooking for family or for ‘her’ seniors in Crane Hill, she finds inspirations and ideas

Story by Jacquelyn Hall Photos by David Moore

K

imberly Overton has been cooking and baking since she was 10 or 11. The Crane Hill woman not only enjoys the process, but she has a natural knack for recipes.

Her son, Cody, a retired Marine and combat veteran, shares the trait with her, though they do not share the kitchen. Both very much prefer to cook and bake solo.

Cody enjoyed watching cooking shows when he was 3 or 4, and “now he can just whip stuff up” Kim says of his talents in the kitchen.

Her daughter Baylee has also caught the cooking bug, but she has a different “plan of attack.” Where Kim likes to cook inspired by the spur of the moment, Baylee prefers to plan out her family’s meals by the week.

Kimberly has worked at the Cullman County Commission on Aging for nearly a year now, managing the senior center in Crane Hill. She’s also a housekeeper when not busy at work or in the kitchen at home.

She gladly combines her love of cooking and her work at the senior center when they have a party day. Her seniors sometimes vote on what she will bake for them. A recent poll winner was baking her traditional banana pudding. It was a smash hit.

Kimberly Overton sometimes gets those aha recipe moments, cooking ideas that pop into her head while she’s driving.

Party days are a labor of love for Kimberly. In addition to cooking and baking, she thoroughly enjoys setting up and decorating for her seniors.

K

imberly also gets a lot out of cooking for her family. She puts her heart into every dish she makes, down to the presentation of the food on a plate.

And she shares her love with everyone she feeds.

Family gatherings almost always include her famous bacon mac and cheese, a family favorite with a shortlived table life. Her husband Ronnie, a small engine mechanic, and at-home sons, Jake and Nick, reap the most from her kitchen creations.

Their married children – Cody and his wife Sara, and Baylee with husband Kyle Hastings – along with grandchildren Charlie, Collin and Evelyn enjoy time over a family meal whenever a visit is possible.

Trying to come up with something

new to cook is never a problem for Kimberly.

“I don’t usually go by recipes,” she says. “They just come to me and I think, ‘that sounds good!’ Sometimes I’ll be driving down the road or something and a recipe idea will just pop into my head.”

A couple of these eureka-moment recipes are her turkey and black bean burger and fresh summer garden naan pizzas. She likes to serve the turkey and black bean burger with sweet potato fries, adding cornstarch to that recipe to “make them crispy.”

The naan pizzas are a favorite with everyone, in part because they are so easy to customize for each person’s topping preferences. Kimberly especially likes to make them in the summer with whatever is handy in the garden.

A bonus perk of the pizzas is they don’t heat up the house much since they only need to be cooked until the cheese melts. They can also be done on a grill, MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

25

SUMMERTIME SIMPLE PIZZAS

CUCUMBER SALAD

1 package Naan, roasted garlic flavor (or any flatbread) 1 large Portobello mushroom sliced 1 red onion 1 bell pepper (I usually use red, orange or green) 1 small jar black olives 8 oz. fresh mozzarella Sauce of choice (I like garlic and butter; you can use marinara.)

2 large cucumbers 1/8 medium red onion 3 Tbsp. fresh dill 1/3 cup distilled white vinegar 1½ Tbsp. granulated sugar 1¼ tsp. kosher salt

Spread sauce on naan. Add toppings and cheese. Bake at 400 until cheese is melted and bubbly. These are very simple and you can use anything you like on them.

Spiral or slice cucumbers. Combine with the rest of the ingredients in a shallow dish.

Chill for at least two hours before serving.

which adds flavor and keeps the heat outside.

I

f the naan pizzas are the easiest, her cheesecake is the most involved recipe in her repertoire. It requires about seven hours from start to finish, not including the time spent making the toppings.

Kimberly tops her cheesecake with whipped cream, strawberry glaze and chocolate dipped strawberries. She prefers to make the whipped cream from scratch.

“It’s just so much better than store bought, and it is so easy, too,” she explains. “You just have to watch it so it 26

MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

does not over-whip and turn into butter!”

As for the chocolate covered strawberries, she makes them a little extra glamorous by adding luster dust, which is an edible decoration powder that makes the strawberries sparkle almost like opals or pearls.

Even though baking is more intricate than everyday cooking, Kimberly enjoys the challenge of making and decorating birthday cakes.

“I think I do my best under pressure,” she laughs, “though I’m my hardest critic.

People always love the way the cakes turn out, but I am always a little let down

because I know how I wanted it to look – how it looked in my head – and that is never exactly how it turns out.”

But her cakes are always delicious, regardless of any decoration discrepancies.

It does not matter what she’s whipping up, or who it’s for, Kimberly puts her heart and soul into the dish. Whether it’s a new flavor combination, something that popped into her head while driving, or a tried and true favorite, after a good meal she always wants people’s hearts and appetites satisfied.

Good Life Magazine

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CHEESECAKE Crust ingredients 1 ¼ cups graham cracker crumbs 4 Tbsp. granulated sugar 5 Tbsp. melted butter Filling ingredients 5 8 oz. packages of cream cheese (brought to room temperature) 1 ¼ cup sugar ½ cup sour cream (brought to room temperature) 2 tsp. vanilla extract 4 large eggs (brought to room temperature) Preheat oven to 350. In a 9” springform pan, combine the ingredients for the crust and press into place on the bottom and halfway up the sides.

Bake for 7 minutes, then remove and set aside. Reduce oven temperature to 325.

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STRAWBERRY GLAZE FOR CHEESECAKE 1 cup fresh strawberries 1 cup granulated sugar 3 Tbsp. cornstarch ¾ cup water Put all ingredients in a sauce pot. Stir and mash the berries a bit with a potato masher or a fork.

Bring to a boil and let boil for 3 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool. Refrigerate till ready to serve.

In a large mixing bowl, whip the cream cheese 30 seconds or until smooth. Add sugar, sour cream and vanilla. Mix again until well blended and sugar is dissolved. In a separate bowl,

mix the eggs well with a fork or whisk until completely blended together.

With mixer on low, slowly pour the eggs into the mixture. Scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl with a spatula, mix another minute. Tap the bowl on the counter 30-45 seconds to remove some of the bigger air bubbles. Pour into crust.

Carefully move cheesecake to the oven.

Tip: put the springform pan on a cookie sheet in case of spilling or cooking over.

Bake for 30 minutes at 325, reduce to 250 and bake for 45 minutes. Turn off the oven and leave the cheesecake inside for 30 minutes. *Do not open the door during the 30 minutes*. Crack open the oven door and leave to cool for 1 hour. Then move the cheesecake to the counter for 3-4 hours, until room temperature, then refrigerate before serving.

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BACON, MAC AND CHEESE 6 large pieces of bacon 1 lb. pack of large elbow macaroni ½ block Velveeta 1 cup cheddar 1 cup Monterey Jack 2 or 3 slices of American cheese ¼ block cream cheese ½ cup milk -or more depending on desired consistencySalt and pepper to taste *Note: you can use pretty much any cheese you want to. I like to use whatever I have on hand in my fridge.

Cook noodles, until al dente.

Chop or slice cheeses. Cook the bacon in a pot that will be big enough to melt the cheeses in.

Once bacon is cooked, remove from pot and place on paper towels to drain. Add the cheeses, except the cream cheese, to the pot with the bacon renderings, and stir until melting. Add milk and cream cheese. Let them melt slowly. Add any other cheese you want at this point.

Once melted and combined, pour over noodles in a baking dish.

You can add crumbled bacon to the noodles. Stir to evenly coat the noodles. -Note: I usually put American cheese on top- Bake at 400 until heated through and cheese on top is melted and bubbling. Top with crumbled bacon.

PICO DE GALLO 4 Roma tomatoes ½ jalapeño pepper 1 lime 1 tsp. cilantro ¼ of a red onion 2 cloves of garlic Salt and pepper to taste (I like to use kosher salt.)

Dice tomatoes, jalapeño and onion. Chop cilantro and mince the garlic. Combine with the tomatoes, pepper and onion in a bowl. Add salt and pepper. Juice the lime over the ingredients, straining the juice to catch the seeds. Mix well.

Refrigerate till ready to serve.

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TURKEY BLACK BEAN BURGER

SWEET POTATO FRIES

20 oz. ground turkey 15.25 oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed (use only half of the can) 2 cloves garlic, minced (or to taste) 2 tsp. cumin 2 tsp. kosher salt 1 egg (optional, but recommended; helps hold burger together) Mix all ingredients together well. Divide into desired sized portions and shape into patties. Fry on medium heat, about 15 minutes until it reaches 165 internally.

CHEESEBALL 8 oz. block of cream cheese, softened 1 pack of thin sliced deli ham, diced (I use Land o Frost.)

4 to 5 green onions, diced 1 tsp. Accent flavor powder ½ cup shredded cheddar cheese Mix first four ingredients thoroughly.

Shape into ball. Roll in cheddar cheese (or pecans if you’d rather; either is good).

Chill in refrigerator for 3 hours then serve with chicken-flavored crackers.

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1-2 medium sweet potatoes, cut into fries 1 Tbsp. cornstarch 1 tsp. salt 1 tsp. black pepper 1 tsp. garlic powder 1 tsp. onion powder 2½ Tbsp. olive oil Preheat oven to 400. Put potatoes in a large mixing bowl. Toss with olive oil and then the rest of the ingredients. Spread out evenly on a baking sheet. Bake for 15 minutes, then turn them, cook for another 10 minutes.

COATED FRIED POTATOES

4-5 red potatoes, washed 1 tsp. cornmeal 1 Tbsp. lard Salt and Pepper to taste Chop red potatoes. Sprinkle cornmeal over potatoes. Add lard to skillet, allow to melt and heat up. Add potatoes and fry until golden brown. Add salt and pepper to taste.

GUACAMOLE 2 avocados Juice of 1 lime Kosher salt Black pepper 2 tsp. of chopped cilantro 1 Tbsp. of diced red onion Combine all and blend in blender or food processor for desired consistency.

This recipe is very flexible. You can put just about anything you like in it, and more or less of these ingredients.

LANDSCAPE INSTALLATION · EROSION CONTROL LANDSCAPE MAINTENANCE · IRRIGATION PATIOS & WALLS · DRAINAGE SYSTEMS PROJECT MANAGEMENT · RIP~RAP MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

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WILLOW DEAN + CO. BABY BOUTIQUE 1704 Cherokee Ave SW Cullman, AL 35055 HOURS: Monday, Thursday, Friday 10-5 Tuesday, Wednesday CLOSED Saturday 10-3 Kristie Moss, Lauren Earwood

256-841-1234

www.willowdeanandco.com

Clothes so cute, they’ll want to dress themselves As a little girl, Lauren Earwood loved to dress up her dolls. Years later, after her son, Foster was born … guess what?

“I finally got a real live doll,” she laughs. “I enjoy dressing him up very much.”

Because Lauren’s mom, Kristie Moss, always wanted to own a boutique, it was almost inevitable they opened Willow Dean + Co. Baby Boutique.

“I like all the different baby clothes,” Lauren says. “So I mentioned the idea to her, and it went from there.”

She and her cousin in Fairview used to frequent a store there for gas and snacks – and to visit Jaxson Earwood, an employee a year older than Lauren. They married in 2019. Foster was born the next year, and she became a stay-at-home mom – well, at least until the boutique came along.

After graduating from Cullman High in 2016, Lauren went to Salon Professional Academy in Huntsville and spent two years as a beautician before becoming a stay-athome.

Earlier this year they started

selling baby clothes and accessories on their website.

Then they leased the old Wells Turner Family Pharmacy on Cherokee Avenue by Doug Doggett Jewelers and held their grand opening in April.

They named the boutique after Lauren’s great grandmother, Willodean Branch.

“She had so many amazing qualities – gentleness, kindness, comfort and love,” Lauren says. “Those are a few of the qualities that we hope to achieve for our customers.

“We offer clothes so cute, they’ll want to dress themselves. We don’t carry anything I wouldn’t put my own child in. Or,” she grins, “my dolls.”

We carry newborn to toddler sizes in many brands, including – • Ettie & H and Yobaby clothing • Cash + Co. bathing suites • Sweet Bamboo pajamas • Chewbeads teethers and dining ware • Rylee + Cru • And lots more!

GOOD LIFE MAGAZINE ADVERTORIAL For information about purchasing your advertorial call Sheila at 256-640-3973

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Dress of softest woven material from Londonbased Ettie & H, $40

Gunamuna sleepers of super soft bamboo material, $33

Humble Soles Estero sandals handmade in Nicaragua, $59.95

BIBS pacifiers, perfect for your baby in latex, rubber or silicone, $15.99

This summer, just down the road near Blountsville, you can visit ...

Bloom-N-Pie Days Good Getaways

Story and photos

by David Moore

T

his year will mark the 20th anniversary of the Bloom-N-Pie Days, an annual plant sale put on by DeLois Dunn and her son and daughter-in-law, Clay and Heather Dunn.

If you are an avid daylily gardener, you have probably met DeLois, who, at her home south of Blountsville on Skyball Road, keeps an official American Hemerocallis Society Display Garden, an outgrowth of loving daylilies since 1984.

Thousands of varieties exist, and the society introduces new hybrids of daylilies annually.

“You always see another daylily you need,” DeLois laughs. And they can be expensive; she and her sister, Kathy, have paid up to $200 for one.

Harold Dunn sort of gets credit for Bloom-N-Pie Days. He said DeLois, a prolific grower of most anything that blooms, needed to start selling daylilies to support her habit of collecting new ones.

Somehow fried pies, made primarily from their own orchards, seemed to compliment the idea, and in 2002 DeLois held her first Bloom-N-Pie Days flower sale at their farm. It took root and continues to draw hundreds of folks for a summer outing. Initially it was held the

Clay Dunn jokingly says he’ll restore the 1880s house at Vintage Gardens when he wins the lottery. Fried pies, above, are good enough that visitors stand in line for them.

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35

second weekend of June, but the Sunday event was dropped in favor of adding the third Saturday.

Last year, however, on top of the continuing pandemic, DeLois broke her left wrist, handicapping her preparations for the event.

“There’s a lot of weed-eating, grooming and watering to do,” she says. “I couldn’t get ready in time.”

Clay, who lives next door, came to the rescue. A few years earlier he and Heather had bought the old Good family farm east of Blountsville.

He wants to restore the 1880s house there as soon as he wins the lottery, but first he built a big barn, designing it more as a venue than for farm work. It would work well, he told DeLois, for Bloom-N-Pie Days.

“It was a lot of fun,” says DeLois, who enjoys meeting the visitors and especially seeing daylily buddies she’s gotten to know over the years.

T

he flower sale includes lots of lilies she’s propagated from her own stock. Last year, they sold out early; this year she’s been potting extras. She’ll also have an even bigger selection of hydrangea.

“We had a humongous early crowd,” she says of 2021. “We open at 9 but some people were there by 8. Some just come to get pies and leave. We had a pie line by 9, too.”

Last year went smoothly, especially considering the late change of venue. This year, DeLois is looking forward to an even better event.

After all, there will be new daylilies she’ll “need” to add to the 1,000plus varieties she already grows.

“Some people have furs and diamonds,” she laughs. “But I shop at Walmart and wear run-runs so I can afford new daylilies. I got to support my habit.”

And have fun in the process.

Good Life Magazine

If you go to Bloom-N-Pie Days ...

The event is set for 9 a.m.-4 p.m., June 11 and 18, at Vintage Gardens, 42685 Ala. 79, Blountsville. Off the beaten path, it’s still easy to find. At the traffic light in Blountsville follow Blount County 26 about 2.5 miles east to Ala. 79. Turn south and you’ll soon see the farm on the right at mile marker 41. Parking and admission are free.

Last year, Clay Dunn was not quite finished with his barn at Vintage Garden, above. He’s since installed air-conditioning and built a second-floor deck onto the front. From lower left, DeLois loves socializing at BloomN-Pie Days; Heather Dunn serves homemade ice cream while Clay watches from a bench; hydrangeas, daylilies, perennials, hanging baskets and some heirloom (The Fairy) roses will be for sale; Delois’ sister, Kathy Whitley, fries pies.

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Beth Branch took the peaceful getaway her father had created and made it into something he’d appreciate

The TV cabinet was the first piece Beth had built to “rustic up” her house. Seeing a laminate ceiling on HGTV, she had old, repurposed wood installed on her dining room ceiling, left. The wall unit is actually two antiques pieces she bought and stacked. The house is anything but small, with four bedrooms, four full baths and two kitchens.

‘Rustic-up’ ... that’s Beth’s term for it Story and photos

by David Moore

P

ardon the pun, but antiques are so yesterday. Beth Branch still loves them, to be sure, but since moving into her late father’s former getaway cabin, rustic has become her obsession.

Hence the term she coined – “rustic up.”

The getaway is well buffered from traffic on Ala. 157 west of Cullman, secreted away behind pine thickets on 10 tranquil acres of lawn and former garden that transition into woods which, in turn, back up to Terri Pines golf course.

Beth’s father, the late Clark Branch Jr., was chief financial officer for McGriff Industries. The getaway’s not old. Clark built it in 2010, a retreat from his then current garden home life, a place of quiet where he could crank up his tractor, plant

a real vegetable garden, exercise his green thumb until tuckered out, then crawl into bed for a good country sleep.

“I think he was the hardest working man I’ve known,” Beth says.

Clark’s initial plan was to create a place to garden and raise chickens, then sell in the future.

But Beth, then single and having raised children in town, found in March 2014 that the lure of the getaway life was too inviting to ignore, so she moved there.

“He was still active then and would come out here and help cut down trees,” she says.

Clark died of Parkinson’s disease the following year.

“His green thumb, that didn’t really pass down to me,” Beth says. “But I love to get out on the lawnmower and put the headphones on. That’s therapy to me.

“I just always wanted a farm house.

That’s why I tried to rustic up this place.

That may not be the correct terminology,” she laughs, “but it certainly fits.”

B

eth’s mother, the late Peggy Branch, taught math, reading and science for 30 years at Cullman Middle School.

In addition to Beth being born in 1962, Peggy and Clark raised two sons: Chuck now owns NextSite, a Birmingham company that recruits commercial development to cities; and Danny, Beth’s “little brother,” who lives in Cullman and works in sales for Agcor Steel.

A 1980 graduate of Cullman High, Beth got an accounting degree from the University of Alabama in ’84. Married for 10 years, she has three grown children, all Auburn graduates: Jessi, pharmacist, Abbie, a physical therapist, and Branch, MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

41

now studying law at the University of North Carolina.

Beth worked 28 years at First Community Bank, retiring as CFO in 2020. Six years earlier, with her kids grown and moved out, her house in town with a swimming pool proved too much to keep up with. So, she moved to her dad’s getaway.

“I love it out here,” she says, reveling in the peace and quiet and a wildlife population that includes rabbits, fox, deer and – on a more unsettling side – coyotes.

Clark was a creative man who designed and built the house where Beth grew up and two houses in Terri Pines prior to his getaway. Built on a rambling floor plan, it was far more than a mere cabin or cottage when Beth moved. And hardly rustic. Clark had finished out the basement and the attic as a grandkid playroom, plus was adding a master bedroom and en suite bath, a laundry room and a carport.

“I wasn’t so sure he would let go of this place,” Beth jokes. “I told him he liked things his way, but it was going to be my house.”

B

eth inherited her dad’s chicken house, though not for very long.

“One day I went to get the eggs and there was snake right there in the coop, on a nest,” she laughs. “I said I didn’t want the chickens anymore. It was really the snake that I didn’t want, but I didn’t want the chickens either.”

After moving in, Beth bought a heavy wooden coffee table built on old-looking, industrial steel wheels for the living room.

In the market for a TV cabinet in the same room, she talked to her brother Danny about the interesting woodwork he’d had done. Danny said it was done by Paul Moss, owner of Southern Heritage Restoration and a third cousin of theirs.

Beth tracked down Paul, showed him a picture of the sort of TV cabinet she wanted and asked if could build it.

“He said yes,” Beth says. “That was my first obsession. I still love antiques, but I just love rustic.”

Featured in the winter 2016 issue of Good Life Magazine, Paul and his company demolish or otherwise procure wood from aging barns and other structures and use it to build furniture and trim that’s markedly rustic – the perfect 42

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way to feed Beth’s new obsession.

She next had Paul install old wood on the ceiling of her dining room. Its warm, cozy character created exactly the atmosphere Beth wanted.

N

French doors, top left, connect the living room to a bright sun room; the kitchen’s off to the left. With rustic looks added by Paul Moss are, clockwise from upper left: a guest bedroom, one of several rooms upstairs; Beth’s master bedroom with George holding down the quilt; a bathroom with a rustic accent wall; and part of the guest apartment in the basement.

Above are the wine cellar and some of Beth’s collection of antique kitchen-related containers in the basement.

ow she wanted more. She had Paul rustic up a bathroom; build an accent wall of distressed wood in what she terms a “weird hallway bath”; install old beams in ceilings; construct attractive but primitive-looking furniture; rustic-up her master bedroom and bath. Somewhere along the line, she had him build a dark, rusty wine cellar.

“I’ll do a project, then I have to wait three or four or five months to save more money,” Beth says. “My mind is always working. I love a project. It energizes me to have one. If I had the money, I would love to change out my kitchen counter tops and put in a farmhouse sink.”

A time or two, she’s thought, briefly, about selling the house. It’s surprisingly large in a rambling way.

“It’s really too big for me, but when my kids come home it’s not. If I did sell it, I would have to pay a pretty penny to buy another place. And another pretty penny to have Paul rustic it up,” she adds.

Another part of the don’t-sell argument is that she loves coming down the drive to find a small herd of deer in her yard.

“It’s so cozy out here. And peaceful.

I’m just not ready to get rid of it yet.

It’s my little cabin in the woods. It feels like a step back into the country. It’s like going into another world – yet it is so convenient to everything. It only takes me about 10 minutes to get to work.”

Turns out Beth only thought she was retired. She started volunteering at Desperation Church, one thing led to another, and last August joined the staff there.

Perhaps a final reason for not selling is that after all her remodeling projects, she feels an even closer, more personal attachment to Clark’s former getaway.

“It is very much me. As creative as my father was, he would have never thought of doing the things I’ve done. I know he’s looking down and is smiling, proud of what I’ve done.”

Beth grins and adds, “He would probably understand ‘rustic it up.’”

Good Life Magazine MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

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Good Eats

Ledgers meets high expectations

Story by David Myers Photos by David Moore

O

n a sunny spring Saturday, Rose hatched an idea to take a long drive through the country and pay a return visit to Stone Bridge Farms in Cullman County.

Our mission? To try out a relatively new restaurant we’d heard good things about. We knew from dining at the farm’s first eatery – Sophia’s Southern Buffet – that the location itself is not only a scenic feast for the eyes, but that they know how to make good food. I mean, very good food.

Suffice it to say that our expectations were high as we wound through backroads, 44

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eager for the culinary delights awaiting us at Ledger’s Steakhouse & Grille.

This place has a great backstory. Owner Ron Foust is grandson of the Rev. V.L. Foust, a minister for more than 50 years.

Many couples were married at the Foust home, which inspired Ron’s vision of developing the 186-acre property into a stunning wedding venue with a chapel, guest housing, florist, catering service and now a top-notch restaurant.

We slipped in before the weekend dinner crowd and had time to admire the lodge-style décor of the traditional steakhouse, which opened in late 2020.

Fanciful metal artwork leads through the

building’s two dining areas – connected by a glassed-in wine cellar with 2,000 bottles. The piano bar features two baby grands and The Galley opens onto a patio with a big fireplace and beautiful views of the landscape. This is an impressive a setting as I’ve seen.

C

hef Nick Bracero was the man of the hour and quickly brought our attention back to food. Our appetizer was a plate of loaded cheese fries with bacon, cheddar and ranch, scattered with scallions. It immediately got us focused on eating.

The Ledger Burger followed. It’s a living testament to the restaurant’s commitment to good portions and that nobody should leave

Chef Nick Bracero aims to please with dishes such as, from left, The Ledger’s Burger, Ahi Tuna Appetizer; Pan-Seared Red Snapper and the 12-oz. ribeye steak Located at 281 County Road 717, just east of Cullman, Ledger’s is open ThursdaySaturday 5-10 p.m.; Sunday 10:30 a.m.

-2 p.m. and 3-8 p.m. Reservations, recommended for Friday and Saturday and can be made online. hungry. It was huge. And delicious – with two 4-ounce patties, bacon, lettuce, tomato, gobs of cheese and house sauce. Juicy and flavorful, as a burger should be.

Nick didn’t stop there. He couldn’t wait for us to sink our teeth into one of his grilled steaks. (Neither could we.) He chose the 12-ounce ribeye – must have read my mind – out of the impressive list including tenderloin filet, New York strip, a full-pound T-bone, porterhouse and prime rib.

With perfect grill marks, this slab of meat was a beauty inside and out. The smoky flavor and slightly charred edges made for a perfect piece of beef. A secret seasoning Ron developed at home goes on as a dry rub.

Then, mixed with a marinade, it’s brushed on during grilling. It’s a winning touch used on all the steaks.

I must point out here that we had no

luck getting anyone to release the secret seasoning recipe, but we tried.

A

s if that weren’t enough food, Nick taunted us with a platter of salmon and creamed spinach. Served with a perfectly simple sauce of white wine, butter, cream and herbs, the salmon was delectable; the creamy spinach served as its perfect accompaniment.

Knowing I’m a Louisiana native, our hosts couldn’t let us leave without a taste of their version of shrimp and grits – for which I am very thankful. One of my favorite dishes, I’ve sampled it not only back home but in many states. Believe me when I tell you his version of shrimp and grits ranks with the best.

Big shrimp on a bed of creamy grits and spices, I tasted the Gulf in my first bite. The

Andouille sausage elevated it to a thing of beauty. With just enough heat and loaded with perfectly cooked shrimp, this dish came from the hands of a chef who knows exactly what he’s doing.

The menu features a dozen appetizers, as well as oysters, seafood, pork chops, chicken and pasta dishes. One not-to-miss dish for locals who remember Shaw’s catfish restaurant – a Holly Pond landmark for decades – is Ledger’s fried catfish platter.

Ron sweet-talked the Shaw family into sharing the beloved recipe.

Sunday’s brunch offerings include steak and eggs, shrimp and grits, omelets, chicken and waffles, chicken-fried Benedict and strawberry biscuits.

Ledger’s Steakhouse & Grille … our high expectations were met.

Good Life Magazine MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

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E

On the bright side, we still have not heard the ‘R’ word Story by Steve A. Maze

I

’ve been trying to track down George Jetson for a few months now. Remember him? He was one of the characters from the 1960s cartoon series, “The Jetsons.”

He drove a space car that was propelled by oxygen and water.

A little air and H2O would certainly be more affordable than the astronomical prices we are paying at the gas pump these days. I wonder if I could talk George into trading his hovercraft for my pickup truck.

The energy sector is a main driver of our economy, and the high price of energy affects every item stocked in stores. The more it costs in fuel to deliver the item, the greater the mark up at the cash register.

Most consumers are trying to cut back where they can … if they can. I bet more people are planting vegetable gardens this year, as well as freezing and canning the 46

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bounty from them. And many are putting their gas-starved automobiles on a low-fuel diet with fewer trips from home.

You recall the fuel crisis Hurricane Katrina caused in 2005 – a shorter lived version than our current crisis appears to be. Some of us are even old enough to remember the energy crisis of the mid-70s, but there was one significant difference from the previous ones.

There were long lines at the pump to purchase liquid gold at any cost. Many service stations across the nation had large “out of gas” signs posted in front of their businesses.

That shortage caused good people to go to desperate measures at times.

If the fuel gauge on your car showed full the night before, it was possible to wake up and discover a half-empty tank the following morning. Attached to the windshield would be a $20-bill or two and a note: “Sorry! Needed gas to get to work!”

ven though the price of fuel is through the roof, as of this writing we have not heard the R-word … rationing.

At least not yet.

That wasn’t the case, however, when World War II was raging. Nationwide gas rationing began on Dec. 1, 1942, and did not end until August 15, 1945.

Drivers were assigned classifications and issued ration books with the appropriate amount of stamps, or coupons. An “A” classification entitled the general public up to four gallons of gasoline per week. A “B” classification for war workers was worth approximately eight gallons a week. A “C” classification allowed for even more fuel for those in the medical profession.

All drivers were required to post a classification sticker on their windshield, and use the appropriate amount of stamps torn from a ration book to purchase fuel.

If all the stamps were redeemed before that ration period ended, drivers could not purchase any more gas until the next time coupons were issued.

As it turned out, there was another reason beyond general shortage that the government rationed gasoline.

The primary purpose was to conserve tires. Japanese forces in the Far East had cut the U.S. off from its chief supply of rubber, and it was going to take a lot of rubber to keep the military trucks, jeeps and other vehicles rolling.

A new tire was hard to come by for most U.S. consumers, and recaps soon became commonplace on passenger vehicles. The recaps, as well as the national speed limit of 35 mph, helped to conserve the scarce rubber.

Gas rationing did not affect farm folks as badly as others. Many Model-T’s had already become a casualty of the Great Depression and were sitting on blocks.

The only fuel their means of transportation needed was hay, corn and fodder – a pair of strong mules pulled a wagon when called upon, and they could also drag a plow so crops could be raised.

S

ome food products were also rationed during WWII, and a book of coupons was also required for those purchases.

People living in urban areas were encouraged to turn their small flower beds and lawns into “victory gardens” to fight off the food shortage. People in the rural South fared better since most had a sufficient amount of acreage in which to grow food crops.

Neither was the availability of meat a large problem on farms. Hogs would be slaughtered each November, and the meat preserved in salt boxes or smokehouses.

Chickens also scampered about on most farms, and the eggs they produced came in handy for breakfast, baking cakes, or to trade with peddlers for other needed items. If an old hen quit laying, it was a sure bet that she would end up in a pan of dumplings or dressing.

Some food products, however, could not be grown on farms.

Flour was needed to make fat cathead biscuits used to sustain men in the work fields. Upon hearing it was going to be rationed, people headed to town and purchased two 24-pound sacks to hold them over. Those who failed to do so wound up eating cornbread three times a day.

Still, there were some anxious

moments, like when word got out that a government representative was going to be checking individual houses to ensure no one had more than their allotted ration.

Many hid their stash of flour in the attic, but very few actually had a G-Man visit them.

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y far, the most precious commodity to hit the ration list was sugar.

Many people purchased a huge sack of the tasty white granules before nationwide food rationing began in the spring of 1942. Unfortunately, one sack didn’t last but about a year.

Most southern women considered sugar a critical baking ingredient but learned to substitute homegrown syrup and honey to make cakes and pies.

Sugar was also needed for canning jellies, preserves and other items.

Most homemakers canned fruits such as strawberries and peaches in their own natural juices since sugar wasn’t available. While not tasting as sweet, no one complained since all families were forced to make do with what they had.

The people most affected by sugar rationing were not farmers, but

moonshiners. They needed the sugar to distill their shine. As a result, a black market developed and a five-pound bag sold for a whopping $2.50.

Clothes, shoes, coffee, butter, cheese and many other items also landed on the ration list.

These items didn’t affect country folks much since they made clothes and underwear out of feed and fertilizer sacks.

Coffee grounds were used two or three times before discarding. Kids saved wear on their shoes by going barefoot, and a cow kept families supplied with milk and butter.

I

suppose our current energy crisis could be worse. We could be riding around on retreads, going barefoot, wearing fertilizer sack underwear and hiding flour in our attics.

Still, with overpriced fuel that few of us can afford, don’t think anything about it if you spot a worn out writer sitting atop a worn out mule clip-clopping down the road during the next few months. I’ll just be headed to the editor’s house to turn in my latest article.

Good Life Magazine

168 County Road 1435 (Eva Road) Cullman, Alabama Phone 256-737-0011 Fax

256-737-0616

Gloria Williams, CEO/Agent

INSURANCE AGENCY We soar above the rest!

freedomagency@yahoo.com www.freedomagency.net

Home • Auto • Farm • Business • Life • Boat • Motorcycle MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

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Caleb Watts

Portraits drawn by a very young presidential artist Story and photos

by David Moore

C

aleb Watts assigned himself a lofty project in February. The West Point Elementary first grader decided to draw portraits of the United States presidents.

All 45 of them, starting with President Joe Biden, he completed his project in early March.

Wait, a visitor says. Haven’t we had 46 presidents?

“Grover Cleveland was number 22 and 24,” Caleb explains. “Benjamin Harrison was between his two times.”

Oh … OK, 46 presidential terms, 45 (so far) men.

This from a first grader? Yep. At age 7, Caleb knows more about the U.S. presidents than most adults. He can tell you all their names. In the order they served.

He remembers many of their birthdays.

Dates of terms.

“They are interesting,” he says.

“Abraham Lincoln kept notes in his hat.”

Well, it was before teleprompters.

But we all know about George Washington. His teeth were made of wood … weren’t they?

“Hippopotamus ivory,” Caleb corrects.

Where did you learn this stuff?

He holds up the blue iPad from his first grade class at West Point. “There’s an app.”

(Google, it turns out.)

“Harry S. Truman ended World War II with a bomb … two of them,” Caleb says.

“And Donald Trump, he’s scared of steps.

It’s called bathophobia.”

Heather Watts shrugs her shoulders, 48

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Caleb uses a mirror in taking a stab at his first self-portrait. The eyes, says the young artist, are always the hardest part to draw. At left are samples from the collection of drawings he decided to do of every president of the United States. resigned to being amazed by her eldest son.

“We fact-check him,” she offers. “He’s usually right.”

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aleb is not sure what piqued his interest in the presidents, but it started last October or November. He figured what the heck and asked Santa to bring him an encyclopedia of the Presidents.

“Of course, Santa got it,” Heather says.

“And he’s about worn it out.”

So … what else do you know about the presidents, Caleb?

“Rutherford B. Hayes was the first president to use a phone, and his phone number was 1. Obama was the first African-American president. James Buchanan was never married. William Henry Harrison was only president for one month …”

What happened to him?

“He got cursed.”

Cursed?

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This spring, using for models caricatures of presidents that he saw on a YouTube video, Caleb tried his hand at cartoon work.

These are samples of that project. He recently started taking art lessons at the Shop Around the Corner.

“Tecumseh’s curse,” Caleb says with authority.

Ask Siri. So he does, and in “her” thrilling voice she recites from Wikipedia: The Curse of Tippecanoe (also known as Tecumseh’s Curse, the 20-year Curse or the Zero Curse) is an urban legend about the deaths in office of presidents of the United States who were elected in years that end with the digit 0, which all are divisible by 20.

The presidents elected on such years from 1840 to 1960 died in office: William Henry Harrison (1840), Abraham Lincoln (1860), James A. Garfield …

Caleb, do you know what an urban legend is?

He shakes his head no, listening.

It’s like a myth. It’s story based on hearsay and circulated as a fact.

The young presidential scholar nods in understanding.

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(To set the record straight, President Harrison died 31 days after his inauguration in 1841, making him the first president to die in office and serving the shortest term. Pneumonia is given as the official cause of death, though “quack” medical care and bacteria from the White House’s sewage contaminated drinking supply are mentioned as contributing factors.)

Understanding a new term, Caleb says another urban legend focuses on President William Howard Taft, who supposedly “got stuck in the bathtub.”

“President John Tyler has two grandsons still alive,” Caleb adds. “It’s on Presidents’ Facts. He was president 1841 to 1845.”

Heather and her husband, Jacob, factchecked him on that one, too. It’s true.

Tyler also had 15 children, Mom adds, showing that life with Caleb can rub off on you.

J

acob and Heather were high school sweethearts at Falkville. They graduated in 2005, married in 2008 and moved to West Point in 2018.

“We came here,” says Heather, “for the school system.”

Caleb, their oldest of two boys, started drawing a year or two before entering preschool at age 4 at Cullman First Baptist.

The Grinch and the Cat in the Hat were early inspirations. So was Disney.

Once asked to draw a lamp, he complied and held up a picture of Aladdin’s magic lamp. Caleb used to tell his parents he wanted to go to Disneyland and draw movies.

“I would be,” he says as fact, not brag, “better than Dr. Seuss.”

Long before his parade of presidents, Caleb’s parents noticed the unorthodox way he holds pencils and such – four fingers across the top of the pencil with his

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During Read Across America week at West Point, the theme one day was Dr. Seuss’ book “Oh, The Places You Will Go.” Students could dress as anything, and Caleb went as a presidential candidate. His science project poster went to Wallace State as a county representative and won Best Design, Superintendent’s Award and, fittingly, President’s Award. Photos by Heather Watts. thumb up at the point, adjacent his pinky.

They tried correcting his grip, even buying a pencil adapter, but to no avail, “I hear artists sometimes hold pencils weird,” says Heather. “We just let him go with it.”

A medical assistant for Dr. Lisa Franklin, Heather works at Henderson and Walton Women’s Center in Cullman.

Jacob, also a medical assistant, works for Dr. Reginald Gladish at Nephrology of North Alabama.

After school, Caleb, along with brother Brody, 4, stays with Jacob’s parents, Gigi Angie and Gaw Gaw Larry in Vinemont.

Many of Caleb’s drawings are there, others at home.

“I don’t know how he keeps up with them all,” Heather says.

“I do,” the artist says. “I laid them all on the floor.”

Which make his parents’ and grandparents’ homes look like art classes.

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Fortunately, Caleb’s about as neat as an artist can get.

“I am the opposite of him,” he says, pointing at Brody.

“He is,” laughs Heather. “Caleb has always been meticulous about putting caps back on Sharpies and not drawing on walls.”

A

lready reading level-one Step Into Reading books in preschool, Caleb moved easily into kindergarten at West Point. He says he likes first grade with Kaitlyn Aguirre best of his previous classes because he gets to draw more. He also makes good use of the technology school offers.

“Whenever we get free time on our iPads at school, I do presidents,” he says.

“It’s pretty neat.”

In addition to research on his iPad, Caleb sometimes uses YouTube.

Perhaps his drawing that most surprised

Jacob – well, at least so far – is a rendition of the 9/11 terrorist attack on the Twin Towers, which occurred long before the young artist’s birth.

Jacob has a commemorative T-shirt picturing the towers on the back. He was wearing it recently while sitting on the floor watching TV with Brody. Unbeknownst to him, Caleb was sitting in a chair behind him sketching the towers. It was a “wow” moment when Jacob saw the sketch.

Caleb became aware of the attack during the 9/11 anniversary last year. To learn more, he googled it on YouTube and watched documentary clips.

“I was shocked,” he says. “I also (on YouTube) saw someone throw a shoe at President Bush. I was shocked at that, too. But the planes crashing were more shocking.”

Where all of this comes from, the Watts simply don’t know. Neither Jacob or Heather claim artistic talents. And

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The Watts family – Caleb, Jacob, Brody and Heather – aren’t the First Family, but who knows? Above is Caleb’s portrait of Dale Greer. No, he’s not a U.S. president, but he is director of the Cullman Economic Development Agency. His wife and Heather work together, and Dale is Caleb’s buddy. they don’t talk politics and presidents around the kids.

They sometimes refer to their unique son as an “old soul,” because of his wise and thoughtful demeanor. In truth, YouTube and iPad notwithstanding, the boy might be a tad old-school in that he also likes books.

Witness his present from Santa, plus it was in a book that he discovered “The Presidents Song.”

H

ere’s a shocker: For a special day at school Caleb went as a presidential candidate. After graduation locally, he says he wants to attend “President School” in Washington, D.C. “What have you heard about that?”

Jacob grins.

“Nothing,” Caleb says, perhaps already practicing the art of dodging questions.

OK, Caleb, if you were president, what would you do?

“I’d see Ford’s Theatre where Lincoln was assassinated. … I’d ride a rocket to see the moon. I would go into the moon.”

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Also on his bucket list are visiting Georgia to see Jimmy Carter’s peanut farm; Louisville, Kentucky, to see its Thomas Jefferson memorial and Dallas, Texas, to see the site of John F. Kennedy’s assassination.

If you were president, Caleb, what would you do to help schools?

“I would say no more homework,” he replies. Then adds, “I would buy a bunch of iPads and give them to them.”

“What would you do for Miss Aguirre?” Heather asks.

Caleb shrugs.

“She does a good job already?”

“Uh-huh,” Heather’s presidential son responds.

What would you do to help the people of the United States, if you were president?

“I would end the war right now,” Caleb says.

How? “I don’t know,” he confesses, not knowing those are three words presidents seldom if ever utter. “It would take a lot of work to do that.

You have to figure out plans.”

D

uring the conversation, it dawns on the visitor that little brother Brody, in his 4-year-old voice, is softly singing “The Presidents Song,” reciting all of the former chief residents of the White House.

You know them all, too?

Brody nods nonchalantly and begins singing the presidential roll call again.

“He wants to be just like ‘Bubba’ and is learning his presidents, too,” Heather says.

She adds that Caleb has said that when he’s elected president, Brody will be his VP. What if Brody wants to be President?

“I won’t let him,” says Caleb, already feeling a few presidential oats.

Maybe Dad will run for president, make his kids proud.

“No sir,” Jacob says. “I’m just going to let the two of them do it.”

If and when Caleb is elected, should he decide to paint his own portrait, he’ll apparently become the second president to do so behind the former commander-inchief who got a shoe thrown at him.

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This is the story of a veteran dealing with PTSD – two different men, one might say ...

Staff Sgt. Brian Monk led a group of gun trucks on dangerous security convoys in Iraq in 2007-08. He returned home to a nightmare life with PTSD.

Story by Seth Terrell Photos by David Moore or provided

I

t was a warm clear day on the Duck River, and though the fish weren’t biting Brian Monk didn’t care. He was out on the water, doing what he loved with his son, Hayden. They had been on the water together many times before; some days Brian or Hayden would reel in a bass or crappie that was worthy of a smiling selfie, and other days fishing lines would get tangled and bass would evade their lures.

But on this particular day, a realization set in.

The fish were not biting, but Brian 56

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found himself surprisingly at ease, savoring the moment on the water with his son and not the least bit irate over the lack of action common to fishing trips everywhere. For Brian, a military veteran of 14 years, such small frustrations in the past would often send him over the absolute edge.

His story is actually a tale of two men.

There was the Brian Monk before he’d been deployed to a war zone, the happygo-lucky friend and father whom people described as warm and kind. Then there was the Brian Monk who’d returned from a deployment in Iraq where he served with the National Guard Unit, Charlie Company of the 1/167 Infantry, based out of Cullman.

He served with a security convoy on a crew of 12 men. They bore emotional scars born in the aftermath of IEDs, firefights and harrowing brushes with death. There were nightmares and the numbness that set in for so many soldiers like Brian—post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD. He returned from Iraq with war-time baggage that became a life-altering burden. Even back home as he trained guard units at Ft. McClellan, Brian tried to put on a happy face, but inside he felt distant and calloused.

“I felt like I’d become a monster,” he says reflecting on those days.

Brian at home today, experiencing the joys of home life thanks to successfully fighting PTSD with a new treatment – stellate ganglion block injections.

E

ven the pleasures of family life with a loving spouse and six wonderful kids were always interrupted by Brian’s PTSD. “I heard a doctor once describe PTSD like carrying a thirty-pound ruck sack on your shoulders,” says his Rachel, his wife.

There were days when Brian capitulated to wartime habits and routines. He went for several weeks living out of his Tough Box, sleeping in his truck outside his house while inside his family went about their daily routines. He turned to alcohol to selfmedicate as physical and emotional pain seemed to radiate through his entire being.

“I felt like I was on the outside looking

in,” he says from his home in Cullman.

“I’d see my family having a good time and enjoying each other, and I wondered why I couldn’t enjoy them, too. Little things would blow up into big things.

“I just couldn’t get my life together no matter what I tried.”

While the data on veteran suicide rates is somewhat lacking, an often-quoted statistic suggests that 22 veterans a day commit suicide. The Department of Veteran’s Affairs is actively researching the actual number, hoping to present a clearer picture and a more accurate account.

In any case, according to the Washington Post, Kaiser Health poll, “One

... and a new drug treatment that is saving him and his family (and a growing number of other vets)

in two veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan wars say they know a fellow service member who attempted or committed suicide.”

And beyond this sobering statistic, is the even more difficult to determine the number of veterans experiencing PTSD, depression, anxiety and a host of other mental illnesses and mental health concerns.

T

hanks to a new treatment, however, there is hope for such sufferers.

The day on the river fishing with his son, another, newer Brian was reflective and thankful. The new Brian in many ways MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

57

In Iraq, Staff Sgt. Brian Monk ran convoy security missions with three-man crews in four gun trucks. Here, he’s on the hood with his gunner, drinking a soft drink, and medic. Ninety percent of the convoys they escorted ran at night. His mission was to get the convoy safely to its destination and keep himself and his team alive. “There is no room in a war for emotions,” he says. is the old Brian, the compassionate friend and committed husband who loves his children deeply.

This transformation is due almost entirely to the treatment that is making headway among U.S. veterans, an injection called stellate ganglion block. It interrupts, albeit gently, the brain’s fightor-flight mechanism, allowing patients to recalibrate and reconstruct their emotional frameworks. The injections, given in a person’s neck, begin to work almost immediately for a vast majority of recipients.

“When the shot was first offered to veterans here locally, we were hearing from guys who were first to get it, and were coming back with some great results,” Brian says.

Though he missed the chance to begin the treatment in January 2020, he finally received his first injections the summer of 58

MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

that year. The impact was instantaneous and remarkable.

“It was like an enormous weight being lifted from my shoulders,” he says. “It totally reset me.”

The anger and depression and suicidal thoughts – all were gone.

“The injection is as close to a miracle that a veteran family is ever going to see,” Rachel says, her voice tinged with a surreal happiness. “Nothing has ever worked the way the injections do.”

W

hen asked about the moment she came to believe in the efficacy of the treatment, Rachel waxes joyful.

“The first thing I noticed immediately after the shot was his sleep; he hadn’t slept a full night in ten years. I remember watching him sleep,” she laughs. “And I was thrilled he was experiencing actual, deep sleep. It was like a shock to our

system – but in a good way. We had to adjust to the new, good life.”

“Your family is first to notice,” Brian agrees. “You can reunite with the people you love. The best part is that it doesn’t change who you are on the inside. You are able to deal with stuff better.”

Brian and Rachel’s children, Aaliya, Preston, Ethan, Gavin, Hayden and little 2-year-old Hadley concur; they started referring to Brian as “Dad 2.0.”

Commander of Cullman VFW Post 2214, Brian, 41, has become an evangelist of sorts for his peers. Nearly all his fellow veterans at the post have received the injections or plan to receive them soon. Brian has made it his calling to be a source of encouragement and support for those seeking the treatment and for all his fellow veterans who have struggled through similar burdens brought on by combat.

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VFW Post 2214 held a crawfish boil in March for community interaction, to have some fun and to raise money to help soldiers with PTSD, says Commander Brian Monk in the blue T-shirt. Helping with the live crawfish is Clyde Johnson while Clifton Fowler, formerly of Louisiana, supervised the cooking, which included a huge amount of sausage. Gina Adams, treasurer of the auxiliary, and Rachael, its commander, have a laugh with Brian in the kitchen, right. Clyde and Clifton served with Brian in Iraq and are both on the stellate ganglion block treatment. If you or someone you know needs help, you can reach Brian at the post: 256-739-6611.

“There are men and women who wouldn’t be here without this treatment,” Brian says. “The injections give people back their lives.”

Before Brian was post commander, 60

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he served as quartermaster. When he had free time, much of it was spent helping transport veterans to Maryland where the first waves of injections were offered. The whirlwind trips would often

take three days with hotel stays. Brian estimates he’s helped over 30 vets get treatment.

A

s the stellate treatments have

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Rachael and Brian have a little fun time with 2-year-old Hadley, who, if things keep on track, will never know her dad as the stressed out veteran who returned from Iraq suffering with twitchy-triggered PTSD that could set him off with the slightest touch. proven to be more and more successful and more widely available, local veterans, including Brian, are able to receive and continue treatments locally.

St. Vincent’s Hospital in Birmingham now offers the treatment under the care of physicians such as Dr. Robert Nesbitt and Dr. Jeremy Barlow.

“Many people are emotional the first time they receive an injection,” Brian says. “It’s just so overwhelming to feel that change and that burden gone.”

The injections are given at six-month or one-year increments, depending on need and efficacy. Brian is scheduled to receive his next injection in July.

Even now, Brian and Rachel are hard on the trail to support their local veteran communities. The VFW hosts events where men and women can come and talk, air their frustrations and listen to each other as they proceed on the journey toward healing.

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Brian, as commander, is in many ways the first level of screening as he points veterans toward the right mental health resources. He finds himself in late-night conversations about the treatments and he travels across the region to make inperson visits to support people.

Even more so, Brian has returned to his highest calling – his kids. He coaches his children in sports and loves spending time with them.

T

he weather will soon ease into perfect fishing weather, the spring stillness settling onto the chilled waters of Duck River and Lake George. When a fishing line will inevitably snag or someone will strike out at bat or a bedroom won’t be quite tidy enough, Brian knows now he will take it all in stride.

“The treatments,” he says, “have given me purpose again. I want other

people who are struggling to realize what I had to realize, ‘Hey, I do matter.’”

There is robust hope the new treatments will continue to be life-changing while current trials and studies are also underway to evaluate their success among nonveterans with addictions or people suffering from PTSD and depression. In some ways, even the word miracle does not capture the possible impact on people and their families.

For Rachel and the kids, there remains a deep sense of gratefulness and hope for themselves and for other wives and children. She is reminded of how her husband was and is willing to do whatever it takes for their family.

She turns to Brian, reflecting on his – on their – unlikely but common journey.

“I’m so proud of you,” Rachel says.

“Proud of you every minute of every day.

You’ve come so far.”

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Michael Barnett, a staff member with Skydive Alabama, falls away from the jump plane in tandem with Nick Raines, general manager of the business based at Cullman Regional Airport. Tandems are how most newcomers are introduced to the extreme sport, and Michael is making this “recurrency jump” to stay proficient in safely conducting tandems. Nick, harnessed in front of Michael, is just along for the absolute thrill of it. Photo by T.J. Small.

Skydive Alabama

Parachutists find that ‘everything goes away’ in a 120-mph free fall (except the blast of air)

and Skydive Georgia at Polk County Airport in Cedartown.

It’s the first weekend of April, and Nick and the Cullman DZ are hosting one t 5,500 feet over Cullman of several “boogies” they’ll Regional Airport, the put on this year. The largest, twin-engine Otter slows its Bamafest, held over Labor airspeed to 105 mph, and Day weekend, draws about Dawn Thomas launches 200 skydivers, compared to herself out of the rear door. about 80 at the April boogie.

All the fear she’d felt on “All drop zones do the climb to altitude … boogies,” Nick says. “We whoosh! It’s vanished in bring in a bigger airplane the empty chasm of mileand have activities on high air. She’s immersed the ground. It attracts fun fully in the intense jumpers from other areas singularity of the moment. who spend the night in The Otter pulls away Cullman and go back – continuing its climb to home.”

14,500 feet where a dozen Boogies also further other skydivers will launch bond the close sense of themselves into 120-mph Dawn Thomas pauses momentarily before stepping community among those free falls toward the distant out of the plane and into the blasting air. who feel the need to dive earth. out of airplane doors.

Dawn’s pure moment Nick’s introduction to – void of any fear – is parachutes and the skydiving community The trick Dawn wants to learn is comprised of only the few essential started with a tandem jump in Cedartown. exactly how much to flare (without moves needed to “hop-n-pop.” No free “From childhood,” he says, “I thought stalling) in order to upgrade her landings fall this time. Within seconds of hopping the idea of skydiving was cool.” from crash and roll affairs to soft standout she releases her pilot chute, which Born in Northeast Georgia, he grew up ups. So she practices while dangling high anchors in the air as she continues to fall, in Birmingham and worked most of his pulling the attached main chute she earlier above Folsom Field. life in restaurants there. He had a side gig Now the grass between the airport’s packed into the container on her harness. shooting photography and videography, runway and taxiway looms closer and Pop! The chute – the big beautiful which transitioned beautifully into closer. Dawn flares her chute 12-13 feet chute – fills with air, not only slowing skydiving. from ground and lands daintily on tippy her descent to 6-8 mph, but giving her a Most skydivers log their jumps. toes. forward speed of about 20 mph.

Nick did, too, for a while. He needed This is Dawn’s 66th jump from to document 500 jumps for his top-line awn Thomas is shuttled back perfectly good airplanes. Most of the D-class license through the United States to the hangar headquarters of Skydive 55-year-old’s jumps have been free falls, Parachute Association. After about 600 he but she opted for a hop-n-pop because the Alabama in the trailer pulled by a fourquit logging but figures he’s now jumped wheeler driven by Nick Raines.

7-8 minutes it will take her to slowly fall 6,000 times, give or take a few hundred.

A Vinemont resident, Nick has been to earth gives her time to practice piloting Nick used to jump 20 times a week. skydiving at the Cullman DZ – drop zone her chute, specifically flaring it to its Taking the GM job cut that in half.

– and others for 19 years. Last year he stalling point.

“I was focused on improving things was named general manager of Skydive Flaring – how a parachutist brakes at DZ last year. Now,” he laughs, “I’m Alabama, a sister company to Skydive to land – is done by pulling the left and focused on getting my numbers back Tennessee at Tullahoma Regional Airport right toggle handles on the steering lines Story by David Moore Photos by David Moore and others

A

downward together. The lines attach to the canopy’s outside edges, deflecting the passing air and slowing the forward motion so the jumper can land.

D

MAY | JUNE | JULY 2022

65

up. That’s why I’m here. It’s all about skydiving.”

N

ick’s words ring true with Dawn Thomas, part of the April boogie crowd.

Living in Huntsville, she works as a traveling cardiovascular technologist and tries to schedule off eight weeks between jobs so she can run, bike, play with her five dogs – and go skydiving. She’ll log five jumps this weekend, upping her total to 70.

“I’m a baby, baby skydiver compared to a lot of people,” she says inside the hangar where folks are packing their chutes, checking their gear and taking about their passion.

Several jumpers compliment Dawn’s earlier landing, an important aspect of the sport that’s been a bumpy issue for her.

Recently, she bought a bigger chute so she falls a little slower. It did not, however, fix her issue with the tricky timing for proper flaring.

“I was hitting hard and falling every time,” she says. “I was flaring too late and kind of smashing into the ground.”

Last weekend Dawn took a canopy course at Tullahoma, which is about the same distance from Huntsville as Cullman.

It apparently helped. As did her hop-n-pop practice.

“I was so happy I could have cried – I stood it up!” she says of her last landing.

Then the perfectionist in her adds, “Technically, this time I was a foot or two too high when I flared.”

Dawn’s first jump was a tandem, strapped to an instructor operating the shared parachute. She and a friend did it while working a job in St. Louis.

“It was a bucket list thing,” she laughs.

“Two years ago, I never imagined I would be jumping out of a plane.”

The continuing draw, she found, was that transforming point where she’s suddenly living purely in the moment when she jumps.

“Everything goes away,” Dawn says.

“You could not possibly be more in the moment. It’s an adrenaline rush for sure. You don’t realize the rush, though, until you land and your hands are shaking.”

Scared before jumping?

“Every time,” she replies. “If you’re not, there is something wrong. The nerves get better with time, but you certainly should have a healthy fear of skydiving. You don’t want to be too cocky. That’s when unplanned stuff happens.”

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Dawn Thomas, upper left, packs her chute for another jump. She arranges her time off work so she can schedule in skydiving. Above, in a photo by Scott Carmicheal, skydivers form a five-way round with a sixth person swooping in to attempt to join the formation. Below the skydiver wearing blue you can see the crease of Hurricane Creek in the earth. In the far left photo by Jonathan Bizilia, Lauro Luna, Andy Olive, T.J Small and Nathan Kueterman jump in a cluster for a group tracking dive. This entails the skydivers falling nearly vertically, head first and arms back, so they can exceed terminal velocity and hit about 140 mph, moving horizontally, too. At left, skydiver Jonathan Bizilia makes a swooping landing with a small parachute. If you know what you’re doing, coming in fast and furious is fun.

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lanning, practice and communications are also key to preventing “unplanned stuff” from happening. Which is exactly why Alyssa Rivera is working with Sarah Mouyal in the hangar.

On the staff at Skydive Georgia, Alyssa visited the Cullman boogie for fun and to take advantage of the special $20 fun jump rates (normally $30 for those with equipment). She has a coach-rating license with 458 jumps.

“I hope to get in at least 10 this weekend,” she says.

One of those jumps will be as a coach with Sarah, who wants to become proficient at docking. The Birmingham woman is already proficient at designing sets for television and film, but this upcoming jump will be only her tenth.

An eager student out to earn her Class A license, Sarah will need at least 25 jumps and to learn a number of skydiving skills, one of which is docking.

Simply put, docking is when two – or maybe two dozen – jumpers come together during free fall by clasping each other’s wrists. But it’s tricky because the approaching jumper has to swoop in at the correct speed and altitude to successfully dock – and, remember, this is done in a constant blast of air while falling 120 mph.

But here’s the thing, Sarah says, speaking for thousands of skydivers: “There is no real sense of falling. It just feels like there’s a lot of wind against your body.

“It feels like flying.”

T

Skydiving coach Alyssa Rivera, top left, goes over moves she wants Sarah Mouyal to make when they practice docking on the jump they’re about to make. Alyssa, on staff with Skydive Georgia, was in Cullman for the recent boogie; Sarah is from Birmingham. Similar to herding cats, a jumpmaster gets skydivers into the waiting Otter in the reverse order they need to jump. A tandem jump with a licensed skydiver in control is $239. For more information: www.skydivealabama.com.

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he following quote is erroneously and widely attributed (by sources ranging from an Italian ambassador to U.S. to Smithsonian publications) to the Renaissance genius Leonardo daVinci, who died 503 years ago: For once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.

But Air Facts Journal has shown the author to be John Hermes Secondari, an acclaimed American TV writer who made up the quote for his 1965 documentary “I, Leonardo daVinci.”

You can also find the ethereal and airy misquote on a wall at Skydive Alabama.

Getting past the attribution, however, there’s not a more fitting place for it.

Good Life Magazine

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“Jump,” Ray says in his ever-calm voice.

So you jump.

Jumpmaster and photographer Ray Hara left the Cessna a moment before David Moore, pictured here, exited for his second unassisted skydive over Vincent, Alabama, in 1980. Ray snapped the photo with a Nikon mounted to his helmet and fired by a cable release running from his hand, up the sleeve of his jumpsuit and out the neck to the camera.

Story by David Moore Photo by Ray Hara

Y

ou sit on the floor of the small Cessna, your back to the instrument panel. The jumpmaster glances at the altimeter behind you, then checks again out the window of the plane.

“Door,” he says calmly but forcefully over the drone of the engine.

His name is Ray Hara. Among other 70

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things he is jumpmaster and founder of Alabama Aero Sports, a Birminghambased skydiving club. Their DZ – drop zone, or jumping place – is Vincent, Alabama, over the Coosa River and the woods and bean fields of northeastern Shelby County.

Ray props open the door of the plane. The cool air rushes inside as he leans out to spot the optimum location for your jump. You sit and wait, feeling

the cool air and running things over in your mind.

“Cut it,” Ray says. The engine coughs as the pilot throttles down to 90 miles per hour.

You glance at the altimeter on your wrist: 8,500 feet. Ray looks at you.

“OK,” he says. “Get out of the airplane.”

You reach out and grab the wing strut, plant your left foot firmly on the small

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wheel step and pull yourself out the door of the plane. Wind blasts you. The ground below is too far away, too removed to be real. You see it without looking at it. You look instead at Ray’s steady eyes. All that is real is right here. Right now. And it’s intense.

“Jump,” Ray says in his ever-calm voice.

So you jump.

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ou kick yourself back from the plane, arms spread, legs stretched. You hard-arch your back, jutting your chest towards the ground. For a moment, Ray watches from the plane. You watch him back as he and the plane grow smaller.

Then they are gone, leaving you alone in the great cool nothingness of a sea of air. The sensation, truly, compares with nothing on earth. You are weightless.

Suspended in time and space for a brief eternity.

Then the speed kicks in.

In three seconds you drop nearly 140 feet. In six seconds you fall more than 500 feet. Speed builds. The wind roars against your outspread body, plastering your jumpsuit to your front side, flapping it loudly in back.

At this speed, body control becomes a delicate matter. You make movements smoothly or you lose it. Gradually you relax your arched body, draw your elbows to your sides and allow the wind to bend your knees so your feet drift upwards. You are now in the “frog position.”

In 11 seconds you are plummeting earthward at terminal velocity – 120 miles per hour. You have fallen a quarter of a mile, and until you open your chute you will continue to eat up altitude at the sizzling rate of 174 feet per second.

The ground looks a little closer but still far from real. Your altimeter reads 6,500 feet and falling. You have been out of the plane 15 seconds.

O

ddly enough, except for the roar of the wind and the fact that the ground looks a little closer, you don’t actually feel like you’re falling. You feel more like you’re flying, and you get caught up in the sensation of soaring above the earth.

The Coosa River stretches below, a fisherman’s boat cutting a white wake across the dark water. You dip your left shoulder against the blast of the wind, 72

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turning yourself so you can see the train trestle across the river. You level your shoulders and concentrate on holding a bearing on the miniature trestle.

Your altimeter reads 5,100 feet. You have been airborne 23 seconds. Below you the world rolls out like a giant map quilted to a movie screen. It still looks unreal, too removed. But it has grown noticeably closer. You want to take it all in, the whole world, the whole experience.

But at 120 miles per hour, euphoria is a short-lived thing. Too much happens too quickly, too intensely. You have to take what you can.

Another glance at your altimeter shows you’re at 4,300 feet – time to think about slowing things down.

You look down and back at your chest and spot the tubular cloth pouch that holds the pilot chute, a nylon air anchor attached to the main chute on your back. You pull it from the pouch, throw it out over your shoulder. The pilot anchors in the sky.

Over the roar of air you hear a tearing and rushing noise as the main chute streams from its pack. The chute catches in the wind, opening with a solid pop and a gentle jolt.

The crashing speed … the roaring wind … the flapping jumpsuit … all abruptly stop.

A

nd there you are, suspended quietly beneath a large, colorful, rectangular canopy, your feet dangling in the sky, looking odd with nothing between them and the ground but some 3,200 feet of air.

The pounding of your heart is the only reminder that in the last 33 seconds you fell a mile through the sky at terminal velocity.

Checking overhead you see that you are under a good canopy – lines clear, stabilizers properly open. With a light tug on the right toggle, you rotate the parachute clockwise, turning slowly so you can take in the world below.

Across the Coosa to the east roll the sprawling woods of St. Clair and Talladega counties. Downriver, a bit to the south, lies the massive Kimberly-Clark papermill. On your side of the river and to the southwest sits Harpersville, and past it, in the distance, rise the short-looking 750-foot stacks of the Wilsonville steam plant. Much closer and to the west stands the Vincent water tank. Back to the north and cutting northeast at the trestle, the

Coosa stretches up to the distant Logan Martin Dam and the lake beyond the dam and the mountains beyond that.

The boat you spotted earlier continues its white wake up the river, and a train is now crossing the trestle.

The world begins to look real again.

More directly below you, a bit to the east, you spot the grass airstrip where the plane took off seemingly a long time ago. At the end of the strip, tiny cars are parked and dots of people move about the tent attached to Ray’s camper. You rotate left and hold the canopy on course for the airstrip.

A

lmost over the airstrip you check your altimeter: less than 1,000 feet. Just for fun you give the left toggle a hard pull. The parachute responds smoothly, dropping you in a dizzying corkscrew spin. After a couple of complete turns you steady the chute, then adjust yourself so that you’re directly over the airstrip.

A few of your friends are running out across the grass toward your apparent landing spot.

“I love it!” you holler. They wave back, yelling happily.

The trees and people are coming up closer now. You make a few final maneuvers, setting yourself for the landing. You have been under canopy for nearly three minutes.

At treetop level you pull your feet together bend your knees slightly.

Reaching overhead you grab the rear risers.

The ground looms very near, very real.

You’re coming down toward it at 13 feet per second.

You’re 20 feet away. Ten. Five. With all you’ve got you pull hard on the risers.

Your feet touch down. You bend at the knees and roll your body onto the ground.

The chute gently collapses over you, and you lie there in the very real grass, laughing as your friends run up and feeling intensely alive.

Good Life Magazine WRITER’S NOTE: This story was initially published in the April 1980 issue of Birmingham magazine. I wrote it following my seventh parachute jump, which was my first unassisted free fall.

I made 11 jumps before reassessing my priorities, but it was an absolute blast while it lasted.

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Founded in 1908 as Cullman County High School; built for $17,000 in 1909

1929 CCHS Marching Band (with a few ringers from lower grades)

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CCHS,

1913 CCHS baseball team

1922 CCHS yearbook staff

1952

1989 Cullman High School students

Out ‘n’ About Students on the annual staff at Cullman High School worked this year with assistant principal Aaron Sparks to create a photographic history of the school, left. Drawing from more than 100 years of annuals, they picked out pictures and worked them onto five 6x-3foot panels that were hung in a hallway near the office. The public is welcome to see them during school hours. The first covers 1908-1940; subsequent panels span 20 years, and a new one will be added in 2040. Also contributing were Harper Sparks, Class of 2025, Kim Hall, Class of 1989, CHS English teachers and the Cullman County Museum. Aaron, Class of 1993, researched and wrote a history of the school, which is on a sixth panel.

Cullman County High School opened Oct. 8, 1908, with 45 students on the second floor of what was later known as the Imbusch Building. Four years later, six students became the first graduating class. (See photo on page 8.) In the early years, some students traveled to school by train. Others paid to board with local families, some doing household chores to offset the cost. As enrollment grew and boarding became hard to come by, some students actually lived in army tents set up around the campus. Good old days, right?

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