Issue 2

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Vol. XV, Issue 2 Francis Parker School December 2012

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Body Typeface: Minion Pro 10.5 pt Header Typeface: Century Gothic Bold Folio Typeface: Century Gothic Paper Stock: 100# Glossy Book Printed On: Xerox Docutech Printed By: IPS Publishing, San Diego, CA

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CoverS by Cian Lavin TOC Staff Page Editor’s Note by Claire Bryan GBU by Katie Kreitzer

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LIMITLESS? by Arielle Swedback A CRACK IN THE COLLEGE BOARD by Kasey Hutcheson DEAD END by Audrey Yang Born to be bright by Brianna Goldberg GOING DOWNSTREAM by Matt Gluck #distracted by Raphie Cantor

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YOUR (Brown and) golden ticket by Kasey Hutcheson Night Vision 2.0 by Cian Lavin SILENT NIGHTS by Nishon Tyler the times, they are a-changin’ by Michela Rodriguez and Arielle Swedback BATTLE OF THE BRAINS by Samantha Melville and Patrick Riley TWO MEN, TWO MUCH by Max Feye and Mark Klein Apples to apples by Sam Pryor HUG ME, BROTHA! by Molly Morrison

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scribe explores: MIDDLETOWN by Katie Kreitzer Not afraid of subtitles by Michela Rodriguez ‘TIS THE SEASON TO BE CRAFTY by Soren Hansen and Caroline Merkin A BLEND OF OUR OWN by Claire Kim Liv’s Playlist by Olivia Fidler STOP AND SMELL THE ROSE by Patrick Barba

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SCRIBE VS. WILD by Soren Hansen and Jake Siegler GOING IN FOR THE KILL by Jay Gardenswartz IT’S IN THE GAME by Colin Grey SEASON preview: WINTER SPORTS by Sean Waters VERY SUPERSTITIOUS by Jack Benoit

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DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR? by Charlotte Dick-Godfrey watch your language by Katie Kreitzer and Sean Waters baby, it’s cold outside by Natalie Schmidt Creature Feature by Patrick Riley Hot/not/trendy by Dutra Brown QUADRANTS by Jay Gardenswartz

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STAFF Editors-in-Chief Claire Bryan Katie Kreitzer Design Chief Stanley Gambucci Managing Editor Kasey Hutcheson Layout Editor Dutra Brown Opinions Editors Raphie Cantor Arielle Swedback Features Editors Samantha Melville Michela Rodriguez Arts & Culture Editors Claire Kim Jake Siegler Sports Editors Jack Benoit Colin Grey Etcetera Editors Jay Gardenswartz Patrick Riley Web Editors SOREN HANSEN CIAN LAVIN Photo Editor OLIVIA FIDLER Staff Writers PATRICK BARBA CHARLOTTE DICK-GODFREY MAX FEYE MATT GLUCK BRIANNA GOLDBERG SOREN HANSEN MARK KLEIN CIAN LAVIn CAROLINE MERKIN Molly Morrison SAMANTHA PRYOR NATALIE SCHMIDT Nishon Tyler SEAN WATERS Audrey Yang

EDITOrIAL POLICY Serving as the official news magazine of Francis Parker School, The Scribe strives to report on the major news stories on campus, while providing the student body with a cutting-edge take on campus life and culture. All Scribe contributors are members of the Journalism class at Parker. The editorial staff oversees the editing and production aspects of the magazine. Members of the staff also volunteer a great deal of their after-school and weekend time to work on the magazine. The editors-in-chief assume all responsibility for the material published in The Scribe. For this reason, any errors or complaints should be reported to the editors-in-chief, not the authors of particular articles.

Check out The Scribe’s new website, with online articles, videos, surveys, old issues, and more at www.fpsthescribe.com Share with us any questions, concerns, or comments you have about the magazine. Your opinions matter!

Adviser ANDREW HOLBROOK

Email us at fpscribe@gmail.com.

Consultant Michelle Adelman

Join our Facebook fanpage at www.facebook.com/fpssthecribe to stay updated on everything Scribe related.

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PHOTOgraph BY Jay Gardenswartz

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Farmer Brown’s Christmas Tree Farm is located 40 miles off the 8 East freeway. It’s a simple place: ten parking spots, a tiny lodge home to a gift shop, and miles and miles of trees. Grand fir, noble fir, Douglas, spruce, pine–Farmer Brown’s has them all. Furry Santa ornaments and dog treats sell for a great price, stale licorice is given free for anyone who will talk with the owner’s wife for a solid half hour, and hot chocolate, made from Nestlé hot cocoa packets, is presented on white fake china saucers. Every December, my family, dog and all, piled in the van and searched for the perfect Christmas tree.

We found comfort in this odd little place and this odd little outing; or more accurately, I did. But after a couple of years, Farmer Brown’s became old news, and no one really seemed to be that excited about a long road trip for an expensive, shabby tree. I rooted for the drive every December, though, and the casual comments about this year being the last year flew over my head like an inappropriate joke.

I came home late on November 25th this year to find a nine-foot artificial Christmas tree decked in white lights in my living room. It was beautiful, but I wasn’t quite sure how to feel. I was crushed, but I remembered I wouldn’t have even had time to make my usual arguments this year; I probably wouldn’t have found time to go get the tree. But the fact that something made from a factory took the place of something that always brought me so much joy will never feel good.

Farmer Brown’s Farm isn’t a part of my life anymore, just like many other things this year. Change comes frequently in high school, and though a Christmas tree might not shake your whole identity, new classes, new school years, or new friends can.

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Throughout these four years we often look around to find what defines us. Is it our intelligence? (“Born to be Bright,” page 10) Our friends? (“Creature Feature,” page 48) Maybe it’s the volleyball team you are a part of (“Going For The Kill,” page 39), or the Robotics club that you invest your Saturdays in (“Battle of the Brains,” page 20). Or maybe it’s the fact that you’ve committed yourself to both and you know you need to keep busy to stay happy (“Dead End,” page 9). We all search for what makes us feel like us, but often times we’ve overlooked the family that understands each and every sigh we have ever made.

Change is best appreciated when contrasted against everything you used to have.

This Thanksgiving, I found myself happier than I’ve been in a long time because I spent time with people who I took for granted before. I sat surrounded by the siblings who used to make me laugh on the daily and now only can a few select months of the year (“Hug me, Brotha!” page 26). I ate too much with family friends whom I never make time for during the school year. I listened to old friends tell me of their adventures, wishing they were half mine.

As you spend time with family this holiday season try to remember that these moments with family will become rare, if they haven’t already. Feeling at home and falling asleep to the laughter of people that laugh like you, think like you, and never doubt the best qualities of you every night will no longer be a reality. But no matter how far apart life has strewn family members, during the holidays we somehow never fail to come together. So appreciate the time you spend decorating the tree, lighting the menorah or making a holiday craft (“’Tis the Season to be Crafty,” page 31) with the people you love. You never know when your last trip to Farmer Brown’s may be.

CLAIRE BRYAN Editor-in-Chief

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Last September, I stood at the foot of the Crivello Hall stage with a piece of crumbled paper in my shaking hand and a serious dose of stage fright. I was the ASB junior class representative and this stage, facing the blank stares of my peers, was potentially, and strangely, the most frightening place I had ever been. But my fear wasn’t because I was worried my peers would mock me; it was because I knew none of them cared about the boring announcements I was forced to give. We, as a class, have always been known as T H E GOOD being the troublemakers, the “I don’t cares,” the grade with no motivathe class of ’13 tion. And when it suddenly fell under my job description to bond a grade that was so notoriously broken, I choked, I passed out bagels, and I avoided posting on our class Facebook page because it scared the living daylights out of me. But this year, the unlucky Class of ’13 has turned it all around. We dominated Powderpuff, we were the most-attended class at Winter Formal (82 seniors, say what?), and we’ve stepped up our game in almost every arena. And though Stanford may not be our most common safety school like the class before us, I’m sure the success we’ve had this year will follow us wherever we go. To the Parker students we’ll be leaving behind this June: if we can do it, we certainly know you can.

b TH E BAD 2012

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2012 has surely been a year for the books, full of athletic victories (for both London Olympians and Parker athletes), and global political changes, but it also hasn’t been the best 365 days our world has ever seen. The Syrian civil war between the supporters and the opponents of the Ba’ath Party government, a conflict that began last March, is still nowhere near resolution, though it has already taken the lives of around 50,000 soldiers and civilians. Nearby, Israel and Palestine have relentlessly continued their battle, and it seems that neither side is ready to back down. This year our nation was also shaken: by Hurricane Sandy, a storm that blew through over $70 billion in damage and left many Americans homeless and hopeless. We’re not trying to put a damper on your day, but there’s definitely more to know about this year than a centennial celebration and a football team that can eat 1,040 tacos.

It’s been quite the ride, Lancers. From our awkward barely-memorable freshman year (who were we, what did we do with our lives, and how did we actually have friends with those haircuts?) to the nights of procrastination we never thought would end, this place has been our teenage playground; and though we love to hate, we’re all undoubtedly going to miss this place as we burn in the fiery pits of hell. Today is our all-too-soon graduation, our earthly termination, the end of the world as we know it, and I think we can all say it’s TH E U G L Y come too soon. I mean, it seems like just yesterday that the school the apocalypse was undergoing a $45 million renovation to “enrich this campus for years to come.” It’s been a place of laughter, of friendships, of freakouts, of happiness, of rage, of stress, of refuge, but, above all, it has been a place that is absolutely unforgettable. So, take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime holiday: break the dress code, hug Dr. Rai Wilson, and tell that one senior how much you’ve always loved her.

And if the Mayans turn out to be wrong, you can always take it all back. See you in January?

Photo courtesy of fact.co.uk

THE BAROMETER The Winter Formal Photographer Way to make us look like we haven’t been dancing in a 200-degree club for three hours. Yearbook photos 2013?

The Dance Team

Baby got back: but seriously. Your sassy backless costumes and back-bending moves have taken Parker’s lost art to a whole new level. You go, girls.

The Infamous Sit-in

Yes, it’s awesome that we care and even more awesome that we made it to the CIF finals (yay football!), but our little protest read more like a temper tantrum than a political statement. We’re all for getting out of school 15 minutes early, but couldn’t we have saved the great idea for something slightly more substantial?

The New Water Fountains

Thank you junior Alex Barnes and the administration for listening to the thirsty requests of our parched little selves, but are we actually that little? While we understand that the fountains are low to make them wheelchair accessible, we’d like to get a drink of water without flashing the entire population at passing period. #privateschoolproblems

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME

While we appreciate it not being pitch black at 6a.m., I think we can all agree that feeling like it’s midnight at dinnertime is getting a little old. It’s dark, I’m sleepy, and it’s far too early for my iPhone to make me use its ugly-inducing flash. I don’t live in Seattle for a reason.

WRECKING THE LIBRARY Are you actually in Kindergarten?

KATIE KREITZER Editor-in-Chief

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the scribe 2012-13

WITH NO END TO THE MEDS STUDENTS MAY NOT BE GETTING THE HELP THEY NEED

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ARTICLE BY ARIELLE SWEDBACK ILLUSTRATION BY STANLEY GAMBUBUCCI

A strategically placed Kleenex box daring me to cry. A little white sugar tablet that I knew was just a placebo pill. A Lower School bathroom stall that served as my safe haven for nearly a year. These are snapshots of my experience with anxiety during the latter portion of my elementary school career. These crippling, all-consuming episodes took a toll on every aspect of my life, until I reached the point where I spent more time feeling physically and mentally ill than well. There was only one thing that seemed as constant as the anxiety: my parents’ resolution to keep me off of any medications.

Despite the disapproving looks of my doctors and teachers, my parents opted to let me “grow out of it” with only the help of counseling.

Five anxiety-free years later, I am still not sure how I feel about my parents’ choice to abstain from medicating me. Although I was able to overcome my anxiety attacks naturally, I acknowledge that not all anxiety and depressive disorders go away on their own. Evidence, however, hints that highschool students are being overdiagnosed for these types of conditions—an issue only perpetuated by our busy lifestyles and preference for seemingly quick solutions to our problems.

Of 92 Parker students recently surveyed, 12 percent have at some point been medicated for a mental or behavioral condition. This is fairly close to the ten percent national average of high-school students who are currently prescribed medications for these types of disorders. This trend can be attributed to what some have coined the “rise of Big Pharma,” a twentieth-century shift towards psychopharmacology that revolutionized the way in which mental disorders were viewed and treated.

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In June 1954, Time published “Pills for the Mind,” a cover students that glorified the development and usage of drugs as the “modern” way to treat mental illness, reflecting the type of cookie-cutter solution favored by 50’s culture. However, with the turn of the century came a counterrevolution: In November 2003, Time published “Medicating Young Minds,” a controversial article detailing how modern America’s reliance on brainaltering medication was negatively affecting the nation’s youngest generations.

“Medication has allowed individuals to avoid directly confronting their mental health issues through counseling,” wrote psychologist Allison Foerschner in 2010.

This perception of medication as a quick fix for mental disorders exists on our campus. In such a fastpaced and variable environment, swallowing a daily pill might seem a lot more appealing than counseling and lifestyle changes.

Upper School Counselor Dorene McLaughlin says, “There are kids here at school who are very stressed out, and instead of stepping back and saying, ‘Hey, let’s change their schedule so they’re not so stressed,’ they’ve been medicated to go back into battle again.”

Faculty and peers see students on a daily basis who exhibit symptoms of anxiety and depression, but instead of going to the root of the issue, many kids accept prescriptions and then are sent right back out into the stressors. In a 2011 CNN report, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry spokeswoman Dr. Mani Pavuluri said, “Pharmaceuticals should be the last resort after therapies and behavioral interventions.” The perception of pills being an easier and less stigmatized solution to mental illness is detrimental, and students need to be aware of the risks involved.

Opponents of the practice argue that the biological consequences of medication are not emphasized

enough. A U.S. government study released in 2006 showed that fewer than 50 percent of people become symptom-free on antidepressants, even after trying multiple medications. Common side effects included

Instead of saying, ‘Hey, let’s change their schedule so they’re not so stressed,’ they’ve been medicated to go back into battle again.

—Dr. McLaughlin

P a r k e r S tu d e nts Diagnosed ADD/ADHD

13.6%

Not Diagnosed

12.8%

Anxiety & Depressive Disorders

12.8%

If you think you are experiencing anxiety or depression please talk to Counselers Dr. Dorene McLaughlin (dmclaughlin@francisparker.org), Dr. Bridgett Besinger (bbesinger@francisparker.org), or a teacher.

even get worse. Altering brain-chemistry, especially during the developmental years, is risky business. It is concerning that kids are being put at risk for the side effects of medications they do not even need.

There are, of course, cases of mental disorders that no amount of talking therapy alone can cure. One surveyed student with a history of anxiety and depression says, “I think that if medication is prescribed by a professional specifically for your condition it can be a good thing.”

Although there are convincing arguments that both praise and condemn the practice of medicating students, ultimately a specialist is the best candidate to evaluate the situation. Parents should not accept prescriptions from pediatricians and other nonspecialists who aren’t trained specifically to diagnose conditions like anxiety and depressive disorders.

McLaughlin says, “Parents need to see a child and adolescent psychiatrist, because they know what to ask.

They’re the ones who can accurately diagnose. They know what to prescribe, whether medication or just therapy is needed.”

I have known people to believe that mental disorders are just a convenient fiction written by pharmaceutical companies to make money—a claim that is extremely offensive and perpetuates the stigma surrounding mental health. We no longer have to resort to history’s skull drills, shock therapies, or insane asylums to cope with the reality that mental disorders exist. Medication is a vital tool to treat those who need it; however, it’s important to note that pharmaceutical companies are businesses that might prioritize profit over people.

insomnia, anxiousness, and nausea.

Severe side effects like ulcers, seizures, allergic reactions, and loss of touch with reality were all noted in the study. While some side effects go away after the first few weeks of drug treatment, others persist and may

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THE LEGITIMATE REASON FOR MOVING AWAY FROM AP’S ARTICLE BY KASEY HUTCHESON PHOTOGRAPH BY KATIE KREITZER

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May is known for many things here, none of which are as infamous as the dreaded two weeks of APs, when Parker students stop sleeping and start cramming in a year’s worth of information in preparation for exams. The complaints surrounding AP weeks are a long-standing tradition, but according to recent discussions, it seems these weeks may be diminishing in importance here at Parker.

Rumors of how Parker is “phasing out” APs have dominated our conversations as everyone weighs in on this controversial issue. With the recent integration of the AP Literature & Composition exam into the 11th grade curriculum, and the disappearance of exams such as AP French Language, theories concerning why Parker has stopped offering some APs range from the increased attention to student wellness to a lack of attention to college preparation. Some parents and students are unhappy, believing that Parker has gone “soft” and is no longer dedicated to preparing our students for the rigor of a college education.

However, a deeper look at the faculty and administration’s reasons for switching from the status quo makes it clear that the College Board itself is the very thing causing us to shy away from its standardized tests. Changes initiated by the College Board do not match up with our curriculum, leading to necessary movement away from the exams. As Head of the English Department Mr. Chris Harrington says, “The College Board is pricing themselves out of the game.”

The conversation about whether or not AP courses are appropriate and

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rigorous enough for schools like Parker is not new. In fact, nationally-recognized secondary schools across the country have been choosing to stop offering some AP courses; Parker may or may not simply be following suit.

With upcoming changes coming to AP exams across various disciplines, Parker is strongly reevaluating the exams’ place at our school. One example of such a change concerns the AP Physics B exam. Although Parker students have historically performed well on the exam, scores across the country have not been quite so high.

Based on this, the College Board has announced that in 2014, the AP Physics B course will be split into AP Physics 1 and AP Physics 2, a two-year course with two exams. According to Upper School physics teacher Dr. J.P. Pierce, the course as it has been taught in recent years has mirrored a collegelevel Physics 101 course almost exactly. The suggested change to the exam will most likely lower the standard for our students, making it less of a challenge.

The upcoming change to the AP Physics B Exam and the recent alterations to AP Language exams demonstrate how many of the College Board’s decisions are not in the best interest of our student body.

We are fortunate enough to attend a school where almost every AP exam offered has an incredibly high pass rate—many students are lucky when they get to college and are able to get out of courses based on AP credit. But when scores across the country do not compare, the College Board is forced to act in the interest of the majority.

Unfortunately this harms Parker, the

minority group.

Even teachers have conflicting views on whether or not the College Board’s tests are the best options for our students. Pierce, who does not support the upcoming changes to the AP course he teaches, does note that “I like the idea of an external standard. Although courses that are easy to teach and easy to take make students and teachers happy, they lead to complacency. The AP holds you accountable.”

Harrington notes in response to recent changes made by the College Board that “we shouldn’t be beholden to the College Board’s whims.”

My first reaction to the talks of Parker getting rid of APs was one of anger: how could they take away opportunities for students to excel? But once I moved past the initial shock and began to hear about the reasons behind the change, I realized that administrators are simply responding to the College Board’s lowering of the standard.

Although the AP tests do create courses with faster paces and more rigorous curricula, cramming in a year’s worth of information during the two weeks of exams, only to forget it all the next year, can seem quite pointless. Besides, even when Parker does not offer certain APs, students are welcome to take any test when the time comes in May. As easy as it would be to blame administrators for taking away opportunities for some students to gain the benefits of AP courses, it’s clear that Parker is simply doing what’s best for its students.

HOW STUDENTS ARE OVERCOMMITING THEMSELVES

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Having a schedule that consists of involvement in four academic clubs, two sports, and the Upper School Orchestra leaves sophomore Olivia Ghosh with one complaint: “I wish I had time to do more.” Although some may find this unbelievable, it is a feeling that resonates among many students within the Parker student body.

Unfortunately, this desire also leads to students overcommitting themselves to too many activities, leading to a constant feeling of stress and anxiety.

The daily schedule of an Upper School student is an unforgiving, endless cycle crammed with multiple exploits, resulting in sleep becoming practically a nonexistent component. According to the National Sleep Foundation, the average American teenager needs about nine and a half hours of sleep every night in order to properly function. Out of 92 surveyed Parker students, 37 percent said they received less than seven hours of sleep each night.

Teenagers across the country, especially teens at academically challenging institutions like Parker, find themselves in a perpetual state of exhaustion as a result of committing to countless extracurriculars. Due to the reputation of our college preparatory high school, we are expected to consistently perform well and excel in our endeavors. There is an enormous amount of pressure placed on us on and off campus, and failure seems to be an inexcusable and intolerable act.

It’s obvious that this cycle is relentless and unhealthy. While some may place the blame on the system

ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPH BY AUDREY YANG

itself, in reality, a substantial number of Parker students are responsible for piling up the commitments onto their already crammed schedule.

The main source of demand does not come from our parents or peers, but rather from our own personal expectations. Parker’s Upper School counselor Dr. Dorene McLaughlin, says, “Developmentally, students in elementary school work really hard to get their parents’ or their teachers’ approval. In high school, they don’t need mom and dad’s approval anymore; it’s their own obsessive approval.” This opinion seems to be the driving force for many students. It’s common to hear of the outrageous schedules students have to put up with each week, but it’s also confusing as to why students choose to perpetuate this pattern.

Why does this system continue to embed itself in our school? Why are students running towards their inevitable fall, ignoring the warnings of a possible psychological and physical breakdown? Because, like any machine that runs without a moment’s rest, students reach their breaking point and burn out. “So they keep going and going and going, and they don’t know how to get off,” says McLaughlin. At this stage, a student should be urged to drop some of the activities that have caused this extreme degree of stress—a step that should have been taken long before a mental breakdown.

Yet, while this step would lessen a student’s workload, it could also leave him or her with a devastating

sense of failure. Peers and teachers sometimes look down on students who drop commitments when they are actually trying to lead a healthier lifestyle.

Upper School administrators make a conscious effort to promote student wellness and reach out to those who call for help. Although most students report that they constantly feel stressed and overworked, only a few students openly ask for assistance. But of the few who reach out to adults, not all of them realize the predicament they are in. Every year, students report to McLaughlin with false self-diagnoses of depression, when in reality they suffer from anxiety caused by overcommitment.

“I remember one time, there was a [senior] that came to my office, and she said she was feeling depressed,” says McLaughlin. “So we went through her day and [I asked her] if she had any free time. She said ‘I have free time, but I look for something to do’. She just didn’t know how to have free time.”

In response to this widespread predicament, there seems to be only one viable solution: stop putting every available second to use. It’s disheartening to witness overcommitted teenagers who lose passion in their interests due to major repercussions that can be easily avoided. Choose a manageable amount of activities to participate in, and give them your undivided attention and best effort. Though this is not always an easy thing to do, Ghosh advises, “[You] just have to calm down and take things step by step.”

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GENETICALLY INTELLIGENT OR HARD WORKING? ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPH BY BRIANNA GOLDBERG

It’s that day again; students eagerly wait for their tests to be handed back. After waiting weeks for this day to come, the beginning of an emotional journey has started. Smiles overtake the faces of those who eagerly wait to see their aced exam and compare scores with their neighbors.

Others are suddenly heavy-hearted and uninterested in seeing their tests blotched with red markings. The teacher walks past desks, papers ruffling in hand. Whispers of test scores float through the quiet-natured classroom. The “smart” students who aced their tests are given a cheerful day, while the others are left questioning their academic ability and existence. This recurring cycle is a never-ending monster that eats away at the “dumb” students’ confidence.

Surviving the ups and downs at a college preparatory private school is no easy endeavor, but some students certainly have an easier time than others. Some students struggle academically, even though they put

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in hours towards studying. There are three distinguishable learning level types at Parker: students who work hard for their grades, students who are genetically smart but find themselves succeeding despite a lack of

“

The notion that how

well we learn is influenced considerably by our genes has gone from being ‘taboo’ to achieving something like ‘common acceptance.’

“

— Researcher Kevin Beaver

hours spent studying, and students whose academic abilities are influenced by the environment in which they are raised.

The majority of students in high schools across the world have to work hard for their grades, though a select few students have a gift of natural intelligence that seems to almost guarantee them “As” no matter how little they study. Junior Rebecca Dvorak comments, “Some people can naturally memorize facts or information easier than others. But if someone who does not have that ability works really hard and studies for long periods of time, they can have just as good, if not better grades.”

But is it fair to expect students to have to work so much harder depending on their genetics? Envious students who must work hard for their grades become overwhelmed by the massive amounts of work that pile up each day. Procrastination then becomes an issue, and the ability to study little by little each night becomes impossible. Sophomore Britta Wichary says, “It’s hard when I’m surrounded by people who

are going through pruning, or losing neurons. [Neurons] make teenagers less impulsive after pruning. During teenage years, the desire for risky behavior is at its highest and the ability to dampen impulsive behavior is at its lowest.

There is a reason that teenagers take risks, why they act on the first thing that comes to mind.”

The nature vs. nurture debate is closely related to the idea of genetic intelligence. Johnson comments, “In science as far as personality and intelligence, it has been proven that [both] nature [and] nurture have an impact on an individual’s personality and intelligence. In some cases, parents that have both earned advanced degrees, like a Ph.D, have a child that struggles.”

The environment that students grow up in can impair decision-making skills and influence study habits. Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck discovered that people with a “growth mind-set,” or people who believe that hard work will pay off, are more likely to keep attempting challenges over students who are convinced intelligence is genetic.

Also, King’s College professor Sophia Docherty found that students with “risk genes,” or genes that most likely limit students’ math ability, are especially high in negative, discouraging homes.

Although being born bright is a gift, it is not an excuse for either students who must work hard or for students who are genetically smart. Parker pushes students to their highest potential, and though it may be discouraging at times, all student types should strive to work hard, regardless of their genetics or influential environments. It is simply a way to better prepare yourself for intense academic work. Freshman Snigda Nandipati, more commonly known as the winner of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, describes her drive to be successful: “A student does have to be willing to put his or her time into achieving his or her goals. My parents are constantly helping me achieve my goals, and this inspires me to put in extra effort for their sake.”

Sophomore Natalie Greenberg

get As and don’t try. Last year, I was in a phase where I was questioning why I should even try to work hard if my grades wouldn’t improve to where I wanted them to be. But this year, I realized that it’s better to try and get a B instead of a C.” On occasion, students with this natural gift are found in regular classes because of their lack of effort towards school work. Biology teacher Mr. Dave Johnson says, “There’s a lot of different types of intelligence, but the ability to work in school seems to be a struggle for some. I’ve also seen kids that seem to get it easily, but they have bad work habits. Those are the ones who have the word ‘potential’ thrown around a lot during parent conferences.”

Although their GPAs may not accurately reflect their academic abilities, naturally gifted but lazy students have SAT and ACT scores that skyrocket above those of other students who must study endlessly. Senior Sarah Schnell says, “You get to a certain point in your academic career where you can try really hard, but you won’t see the results... I think it becomes about if you are genetically smart, especially for SAT scores.

You can do the studying outside of school work, but honestly I don’t think that gets you too far. I think most of it has to be that you are genetically smart.”

Researcher Kevin Beaver of Florida State University discovered three genes that have a connection with levels of motivation, attention, and intelligence– DAT1, DRD2 and DRD4. Some students carry different forms of these genes, making math, languages, and memorizing easier for them. Beaver comments in an interview with Time, “The notion that how well we learn is influenced considerably by our genes has gone from being ‘taboo’ to achieving something like ‘common acceptance.’”

Johnson discusses the scientific background of genetic intelligence by stating, “[Scientists] know that almost all of the brain cells and neurons are in place by the age of two years old. And we know during the teenage years they

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ARTICLE BY MATT GLUCK ILLUSTRATION BY STANLEY GAMBUCCI

WHY I STOPPED ILLEGAL DOWNLOADING AND BEGAN STREAMING MUSIC ONLINE

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Music is as common on a high school camprolific illegal downloaders. Clearly, the governpus as Jansports or Vans. From YouTube videos ment is not going to prosecute a person if they being played in the library to iPods being used download a few songs here and there, but they during lunch, it can be nearly impossible to walk are starting to go after people who abuse torrent through many campuses without seeing the tellwebsites to download large amounts of complete tale white earphones dangling from beneath the albums. Furthermore, the government is seeking hoodie of an average student. to file injunctions against most of the major webConversations about music are the norm. sites for downloading music.

Often, what doesn’t get a lot of attention is how In the last few years, we’ve already seen the these songs and albums are being downloaded. disappearance of Limewire and KaZaa as well as Music pirating, or the act of downloading music the removal of many of the downloadable muillegally off of the Internet, is as common on a sic files on Mediafire. And although the controhigh school campus as music itself. I’ll be the first versial Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) has been to admit that out of my 10,000-song iTunes litemporarily delayed in Congress, it won’t be long brary, a negligible amount was purchased legally. until the government passes legislation to allow I went through the typical progression of law enforcement to really start making a dent in musical piracy. I began casting away iTunes and the illegal downloading industry. its 99¢ songs and turned instead towards peerHowever, all of this is irrelevant because we to-peer downloading sites such as KaZaa or as a society are quickly phasing out the need for Limewire. Eventually, I moved onto music blogs downloaded music at all. In the same way that that linked to sites such as CDs have been banished to the far Mediafire or MegaUpload reaches of the 2000s, soon .mp3 where .rar and .zip files of enI stopped pirating files stored on iPods and smart tire albums could be downphones will be a thing of the past. [music] because the loaded in the blink of an eye.

Rather than loading a set number Finally, when these sites had of song files onto an iPod, people very nature of the simply become too slow and will instead use an online music tedious for my liking, I began streaming service to gain access music industry was using BitTorrent software to to virtually every song out there. changing. access massive piracy sites Services like Spotify and Groovelike thepiratebay.se. I had all shark are turning into the next the songs and albums I could big thing, allowing a person to possibly want available right pay a small, monthly fee—much at my fingertips. So what more manageable than iTunes’ changed? Why did I decide to give up this easy ridiculous prices—to stream unlimited music access to unlimited music? via Bluetooth and choose from the entire cataI’m not going to make the same argument logue of just about every even remotely popular I’m sure you’ve all heard a thousand times: that artist. These sites can capitalize on their growing illegal downloading is unfair to the bands and popularity through ad sales, which allows them record labels that make the music. The truth is, to compete with one another on the free market, the amount of money successful bands and laultimately driving prices down even further. bels lose to illegal downloading pales in comWhat’s more is that the very way in which parison to the amount they still take in. And uppeople find out about music is changing. Rather and-coming bands actually benefit from illegal than going off of magazine rankings or the iTunes downloading, as it’s one of the best ways for an charts, I’m much more likely to learn about the unsigned band to get the attention of a major release of the new album by Kendrick Lamar or record label. So no, I didn’t stop pirating out of Imagine Dragons on a website like Pitchfork, some sense of morality or to give Britney Spears where I can then stream the album immediately, a few extra million dollars in revenue. Rather, I or see one of my Facebook friends streaming the stopped pirating because the very nature of the album on Spotify and rush to do the same. For music industry is changing—and just in time once, it seems that the music industry is leading too, as the government is finally beginning to the charge into the next phase of popular mucrackdown on illegal downloaders. sic consumption, rather than attempting to play More and more often, the court system will catch up, and I am happily along for the ride. take notice of those people who are particularly

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WHY SOCIAL MEDIA IS CHANGING AMERICAN POLITICS FOR THE WORST

So, what do we talk about now?

America’s focus for the past two years has been almost exclusively on the 2012 election. Yet in that seemingly eternal span, we the people seemingly learned nothing. The election should have revolved around issues like Paul Ryan’s budget or Obama’s jobs pla, yet the words that incessantly ran through our heads sounded more like “Invisible Obama,” “We Built It,” or “47%.”

Twitter and Facebook both did a tremendous job of reducing this election down to phrases and blurbs.

But has this technological innovation helped the American public by making news more readily accessible, or has it created a dumbed-down election? Ultimately, it would appear the latter is true. The transformation of presidential elections from debates and interviews to soundbites and quotes has forced candidates to try to convince the public not to vote for their opponent as opposed to convincing the public to vote for them. The reason? Political missteps have become the feast of social media sites and thus the easiest way for candidates to identify with the public about their respective causes.

The Republican National Convention was the epitome of this contracting trend of political discourse.

The RNC’s motto, which speakers plugged profusely, was “We Built It!” The motto itself is a trite response to a quote from President Obama when he said, “If you’ve got a business— you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.” This quote directly contradicts the Republican Party’s belief of restricted government

ARTICLE BY RAPHIE CANTOR GRAPHIC BY CLAIRE BRYAN AND STANLEY GAMBUCCI

influence in the private sector. So it seemed fitting enough that the convention’s motto should be a stark response to this seemingly hostile quote.

But when looking at President Obama’s whole statement, it is clear that he was taken out of context.

Obama was speaking in a Virginian firehouse on economic growth between the public and private sectors.

Obama’s statement was more characterized by what he said immediately after his controversial quote: “The point is, is that when we succeed, we succeed because of our individual initiative, but also because we do things together.” Despite the fact that the statement was clearly not an attack on private enterprise, the Republican party chose to make it the focus of not a fundraising event, not a campaign stop, but its national convention.

However, the Republicans were not the only ones at fault during the course of their convention. During the final night of the convention, Hollywood legend Clint Eastwood made a guest appearance to deliver a speech as a final pump-up before Romney’s official nomination. He made a largely improvised speech to an empty chair, which he addressed as President Obama. Though the speech was received well in the auditorium, media reactions were mixed at best, but more left-leaning sources and Twitter obliterated Eastwood’s efforts. @InvisibleObama, a parody account which was created during the speech, had 20,000 followers only an hour after Eastwood left the stage. One popular tweet said, “When Mitt Romney says,

‘Mr. Chairman,’ do you think he’s referring to me?” #eastwooding became a trending hashtag throughout the week after the speech. Eastwood’s actions created so much buzz that most Americans seemingly forgot about Romney’s acceptance speech just thirty minutes later.

But the Romney campaign’s woes didn’t stop there. The biggest soundbite controversy of the election came from Romney himself. The airwaves were fervent when a leaked tape from a private Romney fundraiser showed Romney saying that “47% of Americans are victims and dependent on the government.”

What made this instance unique was that Romney hadn’t been taken out of context—his whole statement was true to this quote and he later apologized for it. But what makes it just as disappointing as the others is that its effects ultimately distracted Americans from the race and what each candidate’s platform contained. An example of this occurred during the first presidential debate. Many believed Romney outperformed Obama, and claimed that Obama “lost” by failing to mention the 47% scandal. But to claim that a candidate lost a debate by refraining from attacking the other candidate should be an alarm to the present state of American politics.

When a ballot is cast for a candidate, it’s doing just that—voting for a candidate. A vote for a candidate does not equal a vote against the other guy. But if one were to turn on the television and watch the debates, advertisements, and media surrounding the 2012 election, one would think just the opposite. Policies and platforms have simply become too long to connect with the compact world of social media. So instead, the purpose of campaigning has transformed from electing a candidate to stopping another candidate from being elected. Until a transition is made to reverse this harrowing trend, Americans will continue to have their “Twitter blinders” on, and we all will suffer. december 2012 THE SCRIBE

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the scribe 2012-13

AN INSIDE LOOK AT FRANCIS PARKER’S ADMISSIONS DEPARTMENT

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Every Parker student, whether first admitted in junior kindergarten or for his or her sophomore year, can understand the importance of the Admissions Department. It’s a familiar sight to see admissions officers walking prospective families around campus, and ma ny can remember the dreaded Independent School Entrance Exam (ISEE) required to apply to Parker. But past simply assigning the highly soughtafter “shadows” on student visitation days, what does this crucial department really do? Far beyond saying “yes” or “no” to applicants, Parker’s Admissions Department is the reason why our campus thrives with diversity and talent.

T H E S EAR C H :

Parker prides itself on having an economically, socially, and culturally diverse student body, and the Admissions Department helps to create that environment on the Parker campus.

One underappreciated aspect of the admissions process is the massive amount of work that goes into finding students who will be right for Parker and encouraging them to apply before they ever step foot on campus.

Parker is a part of a consortium of independent schools that includes The Bishop’s School, La Jolla Country Day, and Pacific Ridge; together admissions officers travel to elementary schools around San Diego to get the word out about independent schools and their many advantages. Later, students and parents attend open houses

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ARTICLE BY KASEY HUTCHESON GRAPHICS BY STANLEY GAMBUCCI

to discover the differences between the consortium schools. Other recruiting opportunities occur at school fairs and “feeder schools,” or schools ATRITION OF UPPER SCHOOL STUDENTS

number of students leaving per year

13 6 9 6 2009-2010

2010-2011

2011-2012 2012-2013

UPPER SCHOOL ADMISSIONS SELECTIVITY

percentage of applicants admitted each year

27 26 28 21 2009-2010

2010-2011

2011-2012 2012-2013

that send several students to Parker annually; here, admissions officers create the first contact with many prospective families, offering infor-

mation and answering questions.

Once a family becomes interested in Parker, they typically visit the website to learn more before finally coming to campus for an open house or similar event. It’s extremely important for groups such as the Associated Student Body and the newlyformed Upper School Liaisons to represent the Parker community well to prospective families. “People see our students and want their kids to be like them,” says Head of Admissions Ms. Judy Conner. A friendly conversation between potential parents and even one Parker student could potentially be the reason a student applies.

Other on-and-off-campus events include area-specific coffees and eventually, student visitation days.

Current students are matched up with potential applicants by the Admissions Department; similar interests like sports or arts can lead to better and more comfortable shadowing experiences. Conner says, “It’s extremely important that students are smiling and engaged when prospective families come to campus. Parents are always shocked that Parker students are happy and excited to learn. People are buying the Parker culture.”

T H E A P P L I C A T IO N :

The Parker application is fully online, just like most college applications. Parker seniors would easily recognize the list of required materials from those of their own recent applications; applicants must include teacher recommendations from their

ft educated, college-ready students, the current schools and write essays so cuts in funding and and correspondthe Admissions Committee can get ing lack of classes and teachers have to know them better. The interview is driven students here. The indepenalso an integral part of the application. dent school consortium has banded Most interviews are conducted by Ms. together to encourage potential appliConner, but some students will merit cants to learn about what an indepena second interview that will typically dent school is. Parker has also pushed go through Head of Upper School Mr. Paul Barsky. to make financial aid statistics more readily available in order to make our The Admissions Committee is tuition appear less daunting. “We put made up of Barsky, Assistant Head of Upper School Mr. Marc Thiebach, the financial aid number right next to our tuition number on our website,” Conner, and the grade level deans. says Conner.

The committee will read the files, deAnother statistic that has helped termine who appears to be a good fit to increase Parker’s recent increase in for Parker, and then discuss the applicants as a group before making final selectivity has been a decreased rate of attrition. Attrition is the number decisions. Acceptance letters for all of students who leave of the consortium from year to year, and schools are mailed in the past, students out on the same People are buying have left after eighth day; applicants will the Parker culture. grade to go to public then have three schools or other inweeks to decide.

Judy Conner dependent schools in Fortunately, Parker search of better arts has a high rate of and athletics proacceptances to the grams. But Parker’s contracts sent out: programs have recently become much if 30 are sent, typically 27 will come more competitive, resulting in fewer back favorably. Any open spots will be students leaving, particularly between filled by students on the waiting list. eighth and ninth grade. Barsky says T h e T RE N D S : the decreasing trend in attrition has made the process even harder, as the Mirroring college statistics, Admissions Committee can’t bring in Parker has become more selective in as many new kids. recent times. According to Conner, One thing is obvious when it the office receives four to five applications per available spot. There are typcomes to Parker’s admissions process: it’s not getting any easier to be admitically 20-25 spots in the ninth grade, and one to two in tenth. Past the tenth ted. Students who attend Parker are grade, only returning students will here for a reason, and the Admissions Department is very good at creating typically be admitted.

When the current recession first the perfect Parker community. So next time a prospective family walks hit, Parker parents, students, and adby in the hallways, help them out with ministrators speculated that the economic downturn would induce a drop a smile and a wave; you never know, that student may become your new in the number of applicants to Francis best friend, the next star of the school Parker. On the contrary, the volume play, or the partner who ends up savof applications has actually increased ing you on a group quiz in your junior in recent years. According to Conner, this trend could be due to a numyear math class. The Admissions Department may be undercover on camber of outside forces, one of which pus, but their actions decisions most concerns the public sector and price cuts in education: although public certainly affect every Parker student on campus. schools are still able to produce well-

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What SHOULD A d m i ss i o ns O f f i c e r s look for in p o t e nt i a l stu d e nts ?

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Can he or she bring something to Parker that we don’t already have?”

MR. PAUL BARSKY

He or she should have strong academics, be passionate about things, and want to help others.”

MS. JUDY CONNER

Admissions officers look for responsibility, trustworthiness, intelligence, and good behavior: a person who would be able to keep up with the curriculum and try during class.”

FRESHMAN STELLA GERSON

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They look for talent and an interest in succeeding academically.”

SOPHOMORE JIMMY THOMPSON

They want a student who is well-rounded, gets good grades, and constantly seeks to enrich the learning environment for themselves and those around them.”

JUNIOR GWENNIE GARDINER

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Above all, admissions officers should look for students who not only get good grades, but who also genuinely love to learn.”

SENIOR LEXIE SMALLWOOD

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ft Tell us about yourself.

Well, I am from a small town, a lot of people don’t know where it is. It’s where that big earthquake happened back in ’09 over by the border. I went to school close to Parker for two years, moved to Chula Vista to finish middle and high school, and then graduated just a few years back. When I first started working here people thought I was a student; they were like, “Oh, did you volunteer for this?”

And I said, “Excuse me?”

“Oh, so you’re volunteering? Is it for community service?”

And I said, “Um, sorry I graduated six years ago.”

When did you first start working here?

“The first time I ever worked here was back in May when they did the centennial gala; I got trained that same day. A month later I came back, they asked me to work the weekends, and I took the job. There are a lot of things to learn here and when I came back I had forgotten everything they had taught me back in May. I thought I was going to have another day of training to remember everything, but they said, ‘Oh no, you’re by yourself!’ and I just went, ‘Oh, shoot!’ But my job was during the summer, so it was peaceful.”

What was it like working during the summer?

We had some weird people come in here. There was this one guy who came over and was like, ‘Ey, nice to see y’all!’ to try and get his swag on and stuff, and then he kissed both me and Glenisha’s hands. Right after he left, Glenisha said, ‘Where’s the hand sanitizer?’”

Security Guard Cindy Haro

PART TWO OF THE INSIDE SCOOP ON LATE-NIGHT PARKER PROTECTION ARTICLE BY CIAN LAVIN PHOTOGRAPH BY OLIVIA FIDLER

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Back by popular demand after last year’s successful scoop on Parker guard Glenisha Murray, Night Vision 2.0 brings you the next chapter in nighttime school security. Now that our beloved Glenisha has taken on new daytime hours, the duty of guarding the grounds at night has been entrusted to a new set of helpful hands.

From the 2:30 rush of interwoven BMWs to the silent, eerie hour of 11 p.m., Cindy Haro (pictured above) stays up late maintaining a high standard of Parker protection. You’ve most likely seen this unsung hero from her solemn security booth, serving up smiles and cheerful waves to any car that passes by. Don’t let this savior of security be a stranger; check out her spotlight interview in this all-new edition of Night Vision.

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Has anything weird happened on the job?

“After the football game a couple of weeks ago, some guy wanted me to escort him to his car. My partner asked him why he needed me, and he said he just wanted a hug; I’m just like, ‘Mmm-mmmmmm.’ Then, he bumped into me after a recent Crivello concert and asked if I could escort him to the football field. And I said, ‘You know where the football field is!’”

Any uncomfortable moments?

“There are times when I’ve come on campus without my uniform on and people look at me like ‘Why is she breaking in?’”

Have you spotted anything funny?

“Not really. I think the only time was when some kids were making out in the back and me and my partner were here watching. We were just like, ‘Come on kids!’”

ft DA Y B Y DA Y :

THE FIRST DAY: UMOJA (UNITY)

The black candle is lit and families get together to visit. One asks, “Habari gani?” meaning “What is the news?”

THE SECOND DAY: KUGICHAGULIA (SELF-DETERMINATION)

HOW TO CELEBRATE KWANZAA

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ARTICLE BY NISHON TYLER PHOTOGRAPH BY OLIVIA FIDLER

So you want to celebrate Kwanzaa? You don’t know what it is, but it sounds interesting, like some kind of tribal ritual originating in the heart of Africa. Didn’t you learn about it in Lower School; there was that song, the one about the lights, right? No, this isn’t working. What you need is some advice.

W H A T Y O U ’ L L N EED : A kinara Kente cloth At least two ears of corn Black Nationalists (optional) The first and easiest step is to buy your kinara, which costs between 40 to 50 dollars and will last for decades.

Now that you’ve got your kinara, buy the candles: three red, three green, and one black. You’ll be lighting one candle every night for seven nights. Keep in mind that the candles are symbolic. The red represent the struggles that have passed and those to come. The green are for the prosperity around the corner. The black stands for the black people whom the holiday celebrates.

You may want to create your own artwork. Focus on red, green and black color schemes. Baskets, tableclothes, place holders, plates—all are fantastic mediums to express your Kwanzaa spirit. You might even go to a commu-

nity party at the Malcolm X library in Southeast San Diego. Or you might sit in with your family and watch reruns of The Jeffersons, The Cosby Show, and Good Times.

Now, you may ask yourself, “Is this a fake holiday?” Yes, yes it is: just like every holiday. There is no holiday that was not first invented by some person who wanted to commemorate an event. In Kwanzaa’s case, the story starts in the year 1966 with Dr. Maulana Karenga, a pan-African Black Nationalist. He was looking for a way to inspire unity among Black Americans and to create a sense of shared history.

It was the height of the Civil Rights Movement and the year of the Black Panthers.

Karenga intended the holiday to be celebrated alone, not as an addition to Christmas (he thought Jesus was psychotic). But as the holiday grew more mainstream, it became more and more common to celebrate the two concurrently. Today, participation is dwindling, the biggest reason being what Upper School history teacher Dr. Rai Wilson calls the “lack of momentum.”

But you can turn that tide. Just follow our helpful Kwanzaa hints and before you know it, you’ll be on your way to celebrating America’s hippest holiday.

This day represents the roots of Kwanzaa, the nationalism. A red candle is lit.

The day is dedicated to African-American and Pan-African culture. The goal is to create a black community wholly apart and independent from the mainstream culture.

THE THIRD DAY: UJIMA (RESPONSIBILITY)

The day stands for responsibility, especially to one’s people. It is dedicated to supporting the community through community service and neighborly love.

THE FOURTH DAY: UJAAMA (COOPERATIVE ECONOMICS)

This can be on a home-by-home basis­—saving up to buy a gift for the whole family­ —or on a community level by supporting local black-owned businesses.

THE FIFTH DAY: NIA (PURPOSE)

It is a day to make plans toward the furthering of the community. Going to college, getting a higher degree, becoming active in community service— all of these work toward Nia. THE SIXTH DAY: KUUMBA (CREATIVITY)

Poetry, art, and music are all elevated.

The community honors famous black artists.

THE SEVENTH DAY: IMANI (FAITH)

The last day coincides with New Year’s Day. All the traditional New Year’s foods are cooked: black-eyed peas, yams, collard greens. The last green candle is lit before the family sits down for the karamu (feast). At dinner, everyone takes a sip from the kikombe cha umoja. Adults give presents to kids, mostly handmade toys or books, often with some connection to African and African-American heritage.

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HOW PARKER’S ACCREDITATION & STRATEGIC PLAN WILL AFFECT YOU

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It’s a big year for Parker: aside from the centennial year and all the celebrations that come with it, there’s a lot of excitement to be found behind the scenes. This year, Parker is being accredited, and it coincides with the strategic plan of restructuring and revising Parker programs. But what does it all mean? Keep reading to learn what these changes are and what they will mean for you.

ARTICLE BY MICHELA RODRIGUEZ AND ARIELLE SWEDBACK PHOTOGRAPH BY JAY GARDENSWARTZ

TERMS TO KNOW Self-Study: This year’s self-study is a 300-page document written collaboratively by faculty members on both the Linda Vista campus and the Mission Hills campus.

Lower School Literacy Specialist Mrs. Sarah Knox served as the coordinator of this honest assessment of 109 different areas of the school. It’s followed by the school’s action plan, the document that outlines the eight major areas that Parker needs to improve. The entire study was submitted to the accreditation boards.

STRATEGIC PLANNING: Strategic planning is an internal evaluation process that Parker undergoes every five years, completely independent of the accreditation process. Its main purpose is to create a plan for the upcoming five years. The strategic planning board is made up of teachers, administrators, alumni, parents, and two student representatives from the Upper School. Head of School Mr. Kevin Yaley says, “The next few months, everyone at Parker will have the opportunity to contribute to the strategic planning process. We intend to solicit input from all members of our community via e-mail and telephone surveys, focus groups, web surveys and ‘listening’ sessions.”

ACCREDITATION: Accreditation is the certification that all schools receive after being evaluated by an accrediting body. In Parker’s case, the certification is a dual accreditation from WASC and CAIS. After reading the self-study (see next page), ten independent-school administrators and teachers from some of the top schools in California will visit the two Parker campuses and recommend a term of accreditation ranging from no accreditation (checkup in six months) to full accreditation (checkup in six years). The more time between accreditation sessions, the more successful the school. Parker has received full accreditation the last six times it has undergone the procedure.

WASC: The Western Association of Schools and Colleges evaluates 3,000 public and independent schools across the West Coast.

CAIS: The California Association of Independent Schools evaluates 300 independent schools in California.

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WHAT DO YOU WANT?

“ wHAT YOU CAN EXPECT The visiting team will be dropping by both Parker campuses January 14th16th. Every single classroom will be observed by the team at some point, and they’ll meet with small groups of people, students and faculty alike. As Mr. Yaley explains, “It’s their responsibility as professionals, as educators to say, ‘The school? They got it right.

Their perceived weaknesses are their real weaknesses.’

Or, ‘You got it right, but I think you’re not being totally honest on this one, I think you need a little help here.’ ” So will you be expected to talk to this team of strangers? It’s possible, but there’s no need to stress about it.

“Parker is such a naturally friendly place, I don’t really have too many concerns in terms of when the visiting team is here,” says Ms. Knox.

“We don’t need to “prep” anyone for how to act or behave. Whatever they see will be impressive. It should be pretty natural.”

THINGS YOU MAY RECOGNIZE FROM THE LAST STRATEGIC PLAN (2006): THE GOAL: “Develop in Parker students the skills for a healthy, balanced life.”

THE RESULT: New emphasis on mindfulness and global trips.

THE GOAL: “Provide and maintain first-rate facilities that meet our current and future needs.”

THE RESULT: New buildings in the middle school and high school, new arts building, new administration building, and Crivello Hall.

THE GOAL: “Reevaluate the school’s foreign language offerings.”

THE RESULT: Expanding foreign language programs on all campuses, including the introduction of Mandarin.

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Everything should move online. From more accessible calendars to more effective scheduling, I think that Parker will be going even more electronic” Junior, Mckenna allard I hope to see the addition of more cross-curriculum class offerings like humanities and food science” History Teacher, Cherie Redelings We should add a student center with foosball and pingpong tables where kids can hang out afterschool or in between classes” Sophomore, Zak brownlie Parker needs a new parking structure or lot.”

Spanish teacher, ana goldberg I’d love to see a continuation and expansion of RallyComm and all of the great spirit at our school.”

Freshman, athena zander Parker could use improved athletic facilities.”

Senior, adam d’onofrio

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PARKER STUDENTS PURSUE ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPHS BY SAM MELVILLE AND PATRICK RILEY

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Senior Jennifer Nugent diligently solves a problem.

A group of young historians at last year’s state championship.

Photo Courtesy of Mrs. Cherie Redeling’s website.

Junior Dylan Kauth-Gaulett, junior Thomas Marshall, and freshman Corey McAuliffe improvising.

M a th T EA M

H i st o r y D a y

Imp r o v

Though it only began on October 3rd of this year, the Math Team is already off to a positive start. With geometry teacher Mrs. Victoria Helms as advisor, the team meets once a week.

Helms says, “We start our meetings with a fun math problem. It’s like a little story, and the students break into groups to solve it.” The team members also work hard preparing for their state-wide competitions, which take place four times per year.

They have already competed in two competitions this year. Senior Parker Stow says, “It is a great way to flex our minds outside of class.”

During the summer, while most students are at the beach and staying as far as possible from any sort of textbook, members of the History Day team are beginning their preparations for another arduous year.

Groups or individuals choose their specialized medium—either a documentary, website, exhibit, paper, or performance—and also their topic.

There are infinite choices for a topic, but it must fit the criteria of a particular theme, which this year happens to be “Turning Points in History.” Advisor and history teacher Cherie Redelings has the team once again ready for April’s battle, when each group will be fighting for a berth in the state and national competitions. For junior Beth Desta, however, it’s not all about the competition. As she points out, “Unlike in a classroom with tests and a teacher dictating how you learn, we have the freedom to work on whatever we like, which is a completely different experience.” Overall, participants agree that it is a fulfilling yet chaotic experience, one that can’t be manufactured any other way. “History Day is a huge mess of lounging around in Mrs. Redelings’ room and freaking out whenever the deadlines approach,” Desta says.

With the guidance of advisor and English teacher Mr. Jared D’Onofrio and the leadership of senior captain Amy Irving, the Improv team is one of the most talented and comical clubs on campus. If you’ve never seen an Improv show before, it is comprised of completely unscripted sketches and performances based on suggestions from the audience. This may seem like all fun and games, but the Improv team is very competitive.

At the end of the year, around (enter month), the National Comedy Theater hosts an annual high school improv tournament. Last year, the team finished in second place out of eight other schools. But nothing can live up to the success of three years ago, when current seniors helped propel Parker into first place. As Irving says, “I love my team more than anything...I’m so happy I have the opportunity to lead my awesome team and make people laugh.”

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Photo courtesy of Science Olympiad website

Photograph courtesy of Nicole Simmons

A student competes in a Science Olympiad event.

Sophomore Larsen Hayes and junior Andy Bickel work with an instructor on their robot.

Juniors Rickey Leary, Matt Handmacher, and Ian Mann practice their quizzing skills.

S C i e nc e o lymp i a d

R o b o t i cs

academic League

Somewhat unknown but consistently active and successful, the Science Olympiad team deserves recognition. Science Olympiad is a national program with competitions at the regional, state, and national levels.

Students participate in events specializing in everything from anatomy to forestry. Senior Jennifer Nugent says, “It gives us an opportunity to explore individual interests we don’t cover in classes, and we get to bond as a team!” There is certainly plenty of bonding time, seeing as members spend three or more hours of their weekends working on their events.

This hard work has definitely paid off; Upper Schoolers on the Science Olympiad team placed sixth in San Diego County in a field of 73 teams and 23 schools in last year’s competition.

After five successful years, the WARLords have become one of the most talked-about clubs on campus. At their recent Battle at the Border, hosted here in the Field House, the WARLords beat 25 other San Diego teams and took first place, as well as the Gracious Professionalism Award.

The successful WARLords (We Are Robot Lords) team is made up of 50 members, led by co-presidents junior Matt Handmacher and senior Nicole Simmons. It takes the team about six weeks to build a robot, during which the members spend around forty hours a week at school. It may seem intimidating, but “the club is great even if you don’t know much about engineering. There is more to robotics than just the math,” says Handmacher. The WARLords’ robots specialize in one task—this year it plays tic-tac-toe, while last year it played basketball. “It’s a big time commitment but it is so worth it. The team really becomes a family and finishing a robot is an exciting accomplishment,” says Simmons.

Since 1998, English teacher Mr. Phil Fickling has led the valiant Academic League into intellectual battle. To this day, his devoted squad embodies the passion for learning and competing that Academic League is all about.

Starting in February and lasting until the end of March, Academic League has matches against other schools every Thursday night. In addition, they also participate in Quizbowl tournaments, which is a completely different format all together. Although in a very competitive league with nationally recognized schools like La Jolla High, Parker never fails to impress. Just this last month in fact, Parker’s Quizbowl team performed well enough to earn a spot in the national tournament on Memorial Day weekend. In the meantime, you can find the devoted Academic League practicing in Room 221 during lunch.

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the two behind the what ARTICLE BY MAX FEYE AND MARK KLEIN

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PHOTOGRAPHS BY OLIVIA FIDLER

While the city sleeps, two shadows hunch over a set of worn-out recording equipment. Their minds spin, their creative juices turning like a newly purchased vinyl record player. The noises start as mere sounds, colliding with one another as they’re played on computerized programs.

But soon, the sounds become music, a lone light in an otherwise dark night.

The clouds shift, the moon appears, and the dual shadows are revealed as boys, men, music-makers. In this dim world of beats and rhythm, two legends appear among the genius of their own art. They are the artists. They are the rap stars. They are sophomores Alec (Quintin) Chambers and Tommy Bancroft. They are TooMuchWhat.

Sophomore Quintin Chambers jumps over classmate Tommy Bancroft.

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ft Name: Quintin Chambers. Some people

call me Quintin “The Quake” Chambers and rapper name: Q-Taint.

Age: 16 Favorite color::

Name: Tommy “Hang-Low” Bancroft Age: 16 If you could be any animal, what would it be?

Probably a cougar because they’re so fierce.

Well, back in my youth I used to think that your favorite color had to do with What do you think of garden gnomes? the month that you were born, and I was Well, actually, I was thinking about this a born in October, so my favorite color was lot last night; they’re not real. orange. But, you know, I never really liked orange, and then I realized that I didn’t reDo you believe in magic? ally have to like orange. So I stopped liking Quoting the Selena Gomez song, “I Do Beorange, and, you know, I lieve in Magic,” and also had yellow hair a while the part in the newest PeOne night, really ago, so I figured that yelter Pan where they try to late, we were just low is kinda my color. bring Tinkerbell back to life: “I do believe in magic, chillin’ out, and were What do you think of I do, I do!”

“

garden gnomes?

just like ‘Dude, lets

I actually enjoy garden If you were a type of food gnomes a lot. It really inwhat would you be? make a band.’ spires me, just that little Would I have to eat myTommy “Hang-low” self? If not, I’d probably person, living in the forest or wherever he lives, be something poisonous Bancroft doing his thing. Well so no one eats me and I’m actually, fun fact about alive forever. gnomes: the reason they If someone wrote a biogwear those pointy hats is raphy about you, what would the title be? because they made a treaty with the eagles TooMuchWhat: A Story of the Better Rapand the hawks so that they know that they per: Tommy aren’t mice.

“

What do you like most about your appearance?

I like that fact that I can sit cross-legged. A lot of people can’t do that, so that’s pretty good.

What is your most treasured possession?

What is your greatest extravagance?

What does that mean?

What do you like most about your appearance?

Definitely the [side]burns. It used to be the fro, but I cut that off ‘cuz it’s wintertime.

I have a children’s picture book called Small Pig, and it’s pretty much my inspiration on everything.

What does your dream girl look like?

What is your motto?

Probably how igneous rocks are formed.

All of the above.

What is your favorite geological process?

YOLO!...just kidding. “Enjoy your hour in heaven before the devil knows you’re dead.”

What does your dream girl look like?

That’s a tough question. Not substantially shorter than me, but not taller than me, because that would be ridiculous. So a girl somewhere in between the window of 5’2’’ and 6’1” who loves rap and the book Small Pig.

december 2012 THE SCRIBE

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After endless attempts of trying to sit down with the elusive TooMuchWhat, Q-Taint and Tommy “Hang- Low” Bancroft finally agreed to give The Scribe an in-depth interview about the origins of the band, what’s in store for their future, and never-before-revealed secrets about their past.

How long have you been in the music industry?

T: I would say like, roughly three years. We started off as more of an alternative band.

Is rapping just a pastime, or are you guys getting serious?

T: It’s getting real.

Q: Actually, it’s been real, but it’s getting even realer. If you look at like a chart, real... realer (makes chart with his hand). Next, We’re probably gonna release a whole album. Full tracks.

Probably like 13 songs. That’s a pretty good number.

T: 13 minimum. 55 Maximum.

You’ve been starting to DJ. Are you starting to make your own beats?

T: We actually are. We’re thinking about purchasing a beat pad, a keyboard, and everything.

Q: We have run into a lot of money recently, due to fudge sales.

T: You might wanna’ keep that off the record.

Q: Yeah, off the record, we got a lot of money from fudge.

So, what has been your best experience recording with TooMuchWhat?

Collaborating with the football team?

Q: It’s a great group of guys. But maybe some of those guys should stay out of the rap game... No names.

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What is your process when you start making a song?

T: Wake up, then just instantly write lyrics.

Q: Sometimes we’ll start with a freestyle. But, uh, that usually gets pretty mean.

T: That’s if we have an instrumental beat, then we’ll just freestyle to the beat and see how it flows.

Q: It’s all about the flow. But you know, after that we get our own separate piece of paper, and etch down some sick flow.

(Person accidentally walks into room) Sorry about that, that was one of our fans. But yeah, we’ll then meet up and compare the flow, compare and contrast, then talk about it, have a nice little discussion. Then we’ll put words down, on the track.

T: Get a good theme about what the whole song should be about.

Q: The tone and the theme are key.

Where did the name TooMuchWhat come from?

T: One night, really late, we were just chillin’ out, and we’re like, “Dude, let’s make a band.” I think I said, just to be all weird, “Too Much,” and I think Quintin said, “Too Much What?” And that was it.

Q: I remember it being, we, uh, opened this strange book that we found in some hidden library, in like a cave or something. And it had our pictures in the book.

T: And it was etched in too, not like a camera picture, but drawn.

Q: The pages were made out of stone, like that’s how old the book was. A book bound with leather, but stone pages.

T: And at the bottom it said, “Too Much.” And the next part was all blurred out. So we’re both just like, “Too Much What?”

Q: Then there was this voice that like echoed, and was like, “That is the key!”

T: That’s it.

If you could have one guest on your tracks, who would it be?

T: We’d probably get 2 Chainz, Krispy Kreme...

Q: I feel like Ghandi would be cool to have.

T: Ghandi would be sick, but, I don’t know, he doesn’t have very good flow.

T: Maybe A$AP Rocky.

T: And not Drake.

Q: Drake can watch from a distance.

So your earlier rap, which was a lot dirtier with songs like “Mosquito Hawkers,” isn’t coming back?

Q: Maybe later in life. Like maybe two weeks from now.

T: We won’t publish it, though. You could only download it from a sketchy site, like dontdownloadthisitlldeleteyourcomputer.com or dontdoit.org Is “clean” the direction you guys are focusing on in the future?

T: Yeah. Mr. Aiston is one of our biggest fans, and he’s an adult, and a teacher. He has a kid as well.

Q: You’ve gotta’ think about the child.

ft

A HOLIDAY GUIDE TO THE TABLET MARKET ARTICLE BY SAM PRYOR GRAPHIC BY STANLEY GAMBUCCI

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With the holiday season in full swing and wish lists in a rush to be made, one question in every prospective tablet buyer’s mind is “With such a large array of tablet technology, which is the one for me?” Recently in the technological world, the competition has become increasingly intense, and each company is actively vying for consumer preference. When Apple released its first tablet computer early in 2010, the iPad was considered ground-breaking. However, with such a successful product, it did not take Apple’s competitors long to spring on the idea of a more portable device and add their own twist to the already breathtaking design.

Products like the Amazon Kindle Fire are glorious in their own ways, but let’s face it, they are too big, too heavy and too slow: three too many “toos” that Apple’s iPad just doesn’t have. So what is the downside of the iPad? It’s expensive– almost $400. Some people may brush this piece of information off because they are willing to pay for the Apple name, but for others Apple’s pricey numbers mean not being unable to buy their tablet of choice.

Some buyers believe that Apple is not always the way to go. In comparison to the iPad, the Amazon Kindle Fire is more durable and it has tons of free apps like Netflix, Pandora, and Angry Birds. Not only does the Kindle Fire have free cloud storage for all your Amazon content, but it also undercuts the price of the iPad 2 by $100.

So which is it going to be this holiday season? The iPad or the Kindle Fire? Not surprisingly, on an online Scribe survey of 90 Parker students, 8 out of 9 students say they would prefer to buy Apple’s iPad. Several students say that they were dedicated Apple fans, while others said that the iPad’s design is flawless and sleek. Junior Adeline Longstreth says that although the iPad is beautiful, she would choose the Kindle because “it is easier to make apps, there are more free apps, and it is better for reading.” But that’s just one student’s opinion on the matter: Which will it be for you?

PARKER STUDENT TABLET PREFERENCES: IPAD VS. KINDLE ( scribe survey of 9 0 students )

the scoop from parker ’ s newest techie , mr . q uoc vo

Photo courtesy of tidbits.com

I P AD With a new retina display and a lighter-than-ever frame, the iPad is a top seller on the market. It’s user friendly technology also enhances it’s accessibility to the common user. The new iPad allows up to ten hours of surfing the internet, perfect for the average Parker student who doesn’t want to spend all day charging their device. Mr. Vo says; “They are the fastest and designed with the user in mind. They have all the correct pieces.”

Photo courtesy of phoneArena.com

K I N D L E FIRE The Kindle Fire is perfectly portable, weighing less than one pound. It’s stunning 7-inch display allows for optimal clarity and definition. With the Android technology, users can access not only Amazon, but also the online store, Google Play. Vo says that the Amazon Kindle is good for one purpose: purchasing content from Amazon, and he admits that, although the user can access Google Play, they must jump through hoops to do so.

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DO SIBLING STEROTYPES HOLD TRUE?

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ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPH BY MOLLY MORRISON ILLUSTRATION BY CLAIRE BRYAN

The sound of the front door shutting echoes throughout the house. Walls are lined with family portraits, followed by individual head shots. The photos span across three childhoods, from the potty-training years to the braces phase, from athletes to activists. The parents have left for the night, the home is left in the over-sized hands of the eldest child, the 17-year-old basketball star, the boy forced to mature far beyond his age.

In the next room over, re-runs of Winnie the Pooh engage the youngest child, the four-year-old fashionista. Her room is dotted with posters of teenage pop-culture superstars, and a backdrop of hot pink fills her four walls. The third child, the middle one, seeks refuge in her cellphone, her seventh-grade course load substituted for several three-way Skype conversations. Three children, each with different roles, different expectations, undoubtedly shaped by each other, defined by one another.

Home is where the heart is; it is one of the most pivotal places in forming our identity, and it contains people

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who significantly influence who we are and who we are becoming. Our parents are undoubtedly responsible for many parts of us, but the bonds we form with our siblings are the most influential relationships under our roofs. In families that have three or more kids, certain roles arise that lead to a variety of personalities and relationships.

At the core of this topic is birth order. Inside a study in the magazine American Baby, Jocelyn Voo writes about how birth order and parenting are the first things to influence a child’s identity. “Simply by virtue of being a couple’s first child, a firstborn will naturally be a sort of experiment for the new parents, a mixture of instinct and trial-and-error.” Voo writes that because of this parenting style, the first born tends to be “reliable, conscientious, structured, and turn out to be big achievers” while “the middle child often feels left out and a sense of ‘Well, I’m not the oldest. I’m not the youngest.

Who am I?’” Voo says this leads middle children to make their mark amongst

their peers because parents’ attention is usually devoted to the firstborn or the baby of the family. She describes the middle child as “somewhat rebellious, but also a people pleaser,” finding that “they thrive on friendships and peer interaction.” Voo describes the youngest child as fun-loving, outgoing, and free spirited. “The youngest child tends to be the most carefree due to their parents’ increasingly relaxed parenting.”

While these roles may seem stereotypical, Upper School physchologist Dr. Doreen McLaughlin agrees with most of Voo’s points. McLaughlin identifies, however, the amount of emphasis parents put into these roles heavily influences how much impact they have.

“If everybody’s the same, there’s no dissention, there would be no way to solve relationship issues; it’s important to argue and have conflict. But it has to be a balance. If kids are forced into these sterilized roles, they will never be able to break the barriers of them.”

McLaughlin advises parents against comparing the kids to each oth-

ft er because this can lead to sibling rivalry. Sophomore Katie Valverde says, “Parents create problems between siblings when they enforce a ‘parent and kid’ relationship rather than bargaining with them or having an equal level of respect for each one.”

Senior Suzanna Tomey, the youngest in her family of three sisters, says that “parents definitely have an impact on sibling relationships.” Tomey acknowledges that the roles Voo identified fit into her family, but she doesn’t think it’s a bad thing. “My sisters and I are all very different, but it has allowed us to each have a different bond with our parents.”

Tomey also identifies another important factor in sibling relationships: age gaps. “I’m very close to both my sisters now that we’re all older, but it wasn’t always like that; we argued a lot when we were younger.” McLaughlin acknowledges this as well: “Siblings with age gaps of five years or more eliminates the entire ‘middle child’ role.”

McLaughlin believes this is a positive, but it can also lead to less meaningful relationships between siblings, at least while they are younger.

When that “middle child” role does exist, it is not always under the same conditions as Voo describes. Katie Valverde is not only the second born of her family of four siblings, but she is also a twin. “Nick [a current sophomore at Parker] is the oldest, and he’s definitely more of a worrier than I am,” says Valverde. She also finds herself bearing a lot of responsibility for her younger siblings. “I’m sort of like a second mom; I babysit them a lot and look after them.” But she does notice that her youngest brother, Peter, is very free spirited and creatively driven. McLaughlin comments on families with more than three kids, saying, “The bigger the family, the more ‘middle kids’ there are. But this can often lead to a blend of roles, depending on each of the gaps.”

Global Studies and Human Geography teacher Mr. Kiernan Aiston is the oldest child in his family. “As the

oldest, you definitely take on a sense of responsibility,” he says. Aiston acknowledges that his role as the oldest did not only exist while he was young, but has continued into his adult life.

“When my grandfather died, my father and I both delivered eulogies at his funeral. We were both responsible for our respective generations.” Aiston also identifies with being an achiever and a hard worker: “I still feel an obligation to do well, so that my parents don’t worry about me.”

“

If everybody’s

the same, there’s no dissention...If kids are forced into these sterilized roles, they will never be able to break the barriers of them.

“

—Dr. Doreen McLaughlin While birth order can somewhat pre-determine personality, there are other factors that contribute to the formation of sibling relationships, like gender and similarities in interest.

Sophomore Claire Nussbaum, the third child of four, is the only girl. “I think being the only girl has influenced me as a person rather than the relationships with my brothers,” says Nussbaum. “I hang around boys a lot more just because that’s who I feel comfortable with.” Nussbaum agrees with Voo’s points, calling her oldest brother the peacemaker, the middle outgoing and unique, and the youngest free spirited.

“There are times when I feel separation from my brothers, but being the only girl, they also value my opinion on certain things.”

Parker parents Katy and Chuck

Philyaw have three kids: Jordan, who graduated from Parker in 2010, senior Savannah, and eighth grader Audrey.

The Philyaw parents disagree with Voo’s “roles,” writing, “Those traits don’t apply to our kids. Our oldest is quiet, easy going, and compassionate, our middle is very friendly and outgoing, and our youngest is also friendly and outgoing, but very different than the middle child.”

When asked about how they intervene in conflict amongst their kids, the Philyaws write, “I would say we are more of a mediator type. In general, our kids get along well. Besides the fact that they are great kids, part of it could be because they are four-plus years apart,” affirming McLaughlin’s point about age gaps. They admit to treating each child differently, but with the knowledge that parenting in general is a learning process, so it is natural to do so; as you go, you learn what is and isn’t effective. “I think with time, and as you have more kids, you do become more relaxed [as a parent],” writes Katy Philyaw. “Each child is different, so what works for one might not work for the other. It’s a balance that you have to find.”

The relationships between siblings is one of variety, with no one recipe, but many different ingredients.

While birth order is one of the ingredients, it does not and should not be idealized as a cookie cutter for how each child should behave. Parenting, gender, age gaps, and interests mix together to form the unbreakable and unique bond between brothers and sisters. Whether you think you “fit your role” or not, all these ingredients, regardless of quantity, come together to make one big, happy family.

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the scribe 2012-13

THE HIDDEN NEIGHBORHOOD YOUR TASTEBUDS HAVE BEEN WAITING TO FIND ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPHS BY KATIE KREITZER

Half of a Rich Boy sandwich

Rubicon’’s bread and spreads

RUBICON DELI

Urbane better watch its homemadebread’s back; this new deli and winner of San Diego Magazine’s 2012 Best Sandwich Award is a culinary (and interior design) force to be reckoned with. With the scent of fresh breads—including customer favorites like pesto, jalapeño jack, dutch crunch, and garlic cheese— daily soup specials, and homemade spreads lofting through the air, customers are left with watering mouths and tough choices to make. Will you try a famously-enormous sandwich (check out the half-sized $6.99 Rich Boy on pesto bread pictured above), a bread-bowl salad, a wrap, or a cup of creamy tomato bisque? Or will the quirky, talkative staff convince you to try one of their sweet pastries or refreshing acai bowls? Hours: 10am10pm daily.

3715 India St (818-488-DELI)

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Blue Water’s fresh fish counter

Bronzed halibut taco

Lucha Libre’s sassy wall decor

The reserved “champion’s booth”

Blue Water Seafood Market & Grill

Lucha Libre Gourmet Taco Shop

In a city like San Diego, it’s hard to come across a restaurant that doesn’t offer some kind of seafood. But it is even more rare to come across a restaurant that serves nothing but seafood. This low-key dive, featured and given rave reviews by Guy Fieri on the Food Network’s Diners, Driveins, and Dives, has a never-frozen guarantee and a staff that catches their own fish daily. When you enter this tiny shop, all you do is pick a fish, pick a marinade, and decide whether you want a sandwich, salad, plate, or famously-fantastic taco (see the $5 bronzed halibut taco above); there’s nothing fishy about it (or corny, clearly). Hours: Mon-Thurs: 11am– 9pm, Fri 11am-10pm, Sat 11:30am-10pm, Sun 11:30am-9pm.

Simple bean and cheese burrito, no more; this popular gourmet taco shop, featured on the Travel Channel’s Man v. Food, is serving up dishes that are anything but ordinary. With pink walls, vibrant music, reasonable prices, and a line that stretches the block and leaves passersby wondering, the glamourous wrestlingthemed Lucha Libre has become the taco hot spot of central San Diego.

Try any of their signature tacos, burritos (The Holy Moly is our personal favorite), nachos, or quesadillas, taste their unique TJ bacon-wrapped hot dogs, baked potatoes, or tasty corn, and pop open a virgin sangria.

You’ll be sure to feel trendier, more cultured, and cooler than you actually are. And, newsflash, El Indio: you lose. Hours: Mon-Thurs, Sun 11am-11pm, Fri-Sat 11am-2:30am.

3667 India St (619-497-0914)

1810 W. Washington ST (619-296-8226)

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Linda-Vista-left-turns launch us into a plaza of commercial goodness—Subway, Jamba Juice, Urbane—and right turns end with a bag of Hot Flaming Cheetos and a Slurpee from the freshman-packed 7/11. Parker’s convenient location is the perfect resolution to the “I’m hungry” cries of growing high school students, but focaccia bread and running into 15 familiar faces in Starbucks can get old. But if a hungry soul were to continue down Linda Vista road, head to the 5 South, and take the Washington Street exit—just a mile and a minute down the freeway—they would fall upon a quaint, virtually unknown neighborhood called Middletown: a place where trendy, terrific, and tasty are the only things you’ll be running into. This tiny strip sits between Mission Hills and Little Italy, and is home to a few restaurants that you’ll be thrilled to visit for your senior lunch break, your 2:30 snack time, or your Friday night dinner. And MapQuest says it will only take you five minutes to get there in your best friend’s BMW!

A cash-register greeting from Gelato Vero Chocolate hazelnut gelato Shakespeare’s homey holiday mantle A corner booth at Shakespeare

Gelato Vero Caffe If you’ve never been to Gelato Vero, we hope it’s because you’re lactose intolerant. This tiny corner café, filled with fresh pastries, feisty espresso, a variety of teas, homemade gelato, and adorable little signs (witness the Hanukkah one above), is a great place to grab an energy boost, get some homework done, or try some of the best Italian gelato in San Diego. With great customer service, a prime location, and too many gelato flavors to count, Gelato Vero is sure to be the much-needed break from your day or the perfect end to your dinner. We challenge you to go once and never go back; We’ll win. Hours: Mon-Thu 6am-12am, Fri 6am-1am, Sat 7am-1am, Sun 7am-12am.

3753 India ST (619-295-9269)

Shakespeare Pub & Grille

It isn’t often that you find an authentic British pub in the heart of sunny San Diego, but Shakespeare is undoubtedly just that. The homey, wooden restaurant has a menu packed with pub classics like their award-winning fish and chips and a massive chicken pot pie that would put your nurse-shoe-wearing grandmother to shame. Witty servers crowd the restaurant and give it the gritty vibe that makes British culture so special. Check out their monthly quiz nights and surround yourself with hysterical men who think they know what they’re talking about; and when you try their mashed peas or their apple crumble, your life will never be the same. Hours: Mon-Thu 10:30am-12am, Fri 10:30-1am, Sat 8-1am, Sun 8-12am.

3701 India ST (619-299-0230)

Saffron Drunken Noodles

Interior dining area

SAFFRON This homey Thai restaurant was one of San Diego’s first (founded in 1980), and has been going strong ever since. It began as a small rotisserie chicken shop, but has since become a take-out, delivery, and sit-down restaurant with a menu that covers everything from classics like Pad Thai Noodles and $8 Drunken Noodles (shown above) to Yellow Curry, and sweet Thai tea to warm Pumpkin Tapioca. But don’t be fooled by the elaborate options; their tender rotisserie chicken has been and will always be their most sought-after entree. Stop by Saffron for a mild cultural experience that will leave you happier than the precious 4-foot-9 lady at the front desk.

And their daily special, Brain Food, is sure to get you through the braindraining weekdays. Hours: Mon-Sat 10:30am-9pm, Sun 11am-8pm.

3731 India ST (619-574-0177)

december 2012 THE SCRIBE

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WHY FOREIGN FILMS MATTER ARTICLE BY MICHELA RODRIGUEZ Photos Courtesy of imdb.com

T H E S C R I B E ’ s f a v e f o r e i g n f i lms

City of God Brazil

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Where Do We Go Now? Lebanon

People of all ages and races were lined up around the block in the 60 degree cold, waiting to buy a ticket to get into the Birch North Park Theater. Groups at the back were worried tickets would sell out, while groups at the front tried to calculate how many movies they could see in the upcoming week. It was opening night of the San Diego Asian Film Festival and the excitement of the crowd was tangible.

The Pacific Arts Movement, an Asian and Asian-American media arts organization, kicked off the festival with Don’t Stop Believin’: Everyman’s Journey. The director, Ramona Diaz, is Filipino, but the documentary made almost entirely in English. It tells the Cinderella story of Arnel Pineda, a Filipino man who was struggling to make ends meet when he was discovered by the band Journey; soon he was the lead singer of one of the most famous musical groups of all time.

His talent is indisputable, but for the duration of the film, he faces people challenging his contributions to the band. At one point, a woman interviewed while in line to see Journey in

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(Ratings adapted from rottentomatoes.com)

In Darkness Poland

concert tells the camera, “I think it’d be better if he was from here.”

Not only is this documented incident a blatant demonstration of racism, but it is also a representation of the stance many Americans have toward foreign films. Of the 90 Parker students surveyed, an overwhelming 63 percent said they had little to no interest in seeing foreign films.

Throughout the movie, Pineda ventures outside of his comfort zone, dealing with and adapting to cultural differences. This is similar to the experience people may have when going to see a foreign film. Why bother when there are more than enough American films to watch? Many of us will steer away from Asian films, scared off by subtitles or difficult accents, when faced with the question of which film to see on Saturday night.

But this aversion to unfamiliarity causes many to revert to the “it’d be better if it were from here” attitude: dangerously close to, if not a form of, racial superiority.

What people forget is just how much Hollywood has in common

The Thieves South Korea

with international cinema. Language barriers aside, foreign films can be similar to the movies to which we’re all accustomed. Not only do they present us with the opportunity to learn about other cultures, but they remind us of the shared interests that unite us all.

Yet one of the greatest parts of foreign cinema is that it avoids the cliché Hollywood formula that makes popular American movies so predictable. International filmmakers tend not to rely on the American desire for a happy ending, which is a refreshing change.

Toward the end of Don’t Stop Believin’, a crowd of Filipino women flock together in Los Angeles, ecstatic to get into the Journey concert that evening. One woman looks straight into the camera and, with pride, explains why Arnel Pineda was so important: he “made the world smaller.” That’s why foreign films are important and deserve to be appreciated—because a shared pop culture can bring us together in a way nothing else can.

Creative crafts to spice up your holiday spirit

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Article and Photographs BY Soren hansen and caroline merkin

Everyone has fond memories of their elementary-school crafting days, so why not bring them back? Sure, nothing beats those paper cut-out snowflakes or wooden popsicle-stick picture frame ornaments, but this holiday season, talented high schoolers need to step it up a notch. Crafting Wars better watch its back; these sassy, spirited crafts will show off your holiday spirit and give everyone else’s crafting skills a run for their money. So turn up your Pandora holiday jams and transform your home into a winter wonderland this holiday season.

pl a y f ul pu f f SNOWMAN

D e ck e d - o ut D r e i d e ls

Q u i r ky Q - t i p sn o w f l a k e

S a nt a C l a us Is C o m i n g

This little guy can make a perfect stocking stuffer or a seasonal gift tag while he brings the joys of the winter season into your home.

Hot glue three puff-balls (each one bigger than the next) together. Using red felt, cut out the hat and scarf, then glue the scarf in between the head and body puffballs and glue his hat on the top of his head. To make his look complete, add two buttons and a carrot nose (a toothpick). Hang as an ornament/decoration or make a winter wonderland scene with snow, glitter, and your snowman craft.

These bedazzled dreidels are easy to make and can jazz up any home. Gather up miscellaneously sized wooden dreidels, glue, and zesty blue and silver glitter. Paint the glue all over the dreidel and place it in a cup full of glitter, spinning it around until the dreidel is entirely smothered with a sassy shine. Let them dry and, if need be, add another layer of glitter for a little more pop! Sprawl these decked-out dreidels over your table cloth for a decorative look or fill up a Mason jar with them to be a bit more sophisticated.

Ditch the old paper-cutout snowflakes and challenge your crafty persona with this quirky holiday craft.

Grab a hot glue gun, 18 cotton swabs, and fabric pom-pom balls. Create six diamonds and connect one of the points on each of them to the center of the snowflake. Hot glue the connecting points to each another. Once it has dried, hot glue the pom-poms onto each connecting point of the snowflake. Hang one on a wall, place some around a table, or connect multiple to a string and hang them above your fireplace to show off your extra-spirited holiday cheer to your guests.

Looking to step out of the box this winter? Using buttons collected from around your house or from a craft store, you can create your own North Pole with these fun little Christmasinspired characters. Gather up an assortment of buttons and standard pipe cleaners. String the progressively smaller, colorful buttons onto pipe cleaners to create Christmas trees, Santas, reindeer, or snowmen. To make your creation into an ornament, you can either form the pipe cleaner into a loop or glue on a ribbon. These crafts can be made into ornaments, gift toppers, or stocking stuffers.

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ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPHS BY CLAIRE KIM

C OA C H D.J. WALCOTT

C OA C H J O H N H ER M A N

Ingredients:

Ingredients:

2 cups 1% milk (or soy milk) 3 tablespoons chocolate syrup 1 medium ripe banana 8 ice cubes

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1 handful strawberries 1 banana 1 cup cranberry juice 1 cup ice 1 scoop protein powder

C OA C H S T A C E Y ZO Y IO P O U L O S Ingredients:

8 leaves of spinach 5 strawberries 1/2 cup pineapple 1/2 cup peach 1/2 cup vanilla Greek yogurt

SMOOTHIES FOR THE SOUL...

FROM THE ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT TO YOU

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Milkshakes go straight to your thighs. Water is boring. Soda accelerates aging. Coffee stunts your growth.

Tea is too hipster. Energy drinks rot your teeth. So, what do you turn to? Smoothies. Summer is over, so you think, “instead of working out or eating healthy, I’ll just wear big sweaters to hide my bod.” Think again. Last time we checked, you live in San Diego and the sun is out all day, every day. Don’t hide; look good and feel good with these coaches’ delicious and healthy smoothie favorites.

C OA C H JIM TOMEY

C OA C H J ARRAD P H I L L I P S

MRS. J EA N RO S E

1 cup ice 1 cup cranberry juice 2 bananas peeled 1 tablespoon flax seed 1 egg white 1 scoop vanilla ice cream 1/2 cup frozen three-berry mix

1/2 cup milk 3 level tablespoons of peanut butter 1/2 chopped ripe banana 2 tablespoons chocolate mix

1 handful of kale leaves 1 handful of spinach leaves 5 strawberries 1 banana 2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 tablespoon flaxseed oil (or ground flax seed) 1/2 cup orange juice (or cranberry juice) 1/2 cup almond milk

Ingredients:

Ingredients:

Ingredients:

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HAVE YOURSELF AN INDIE LITTLE HOLIDAY ARTICLE BY OLIVIA FIDLER Photos Courtesy of albumart.org

Holiday

CANDLeLIGHT HANUKKAH

Vampire Weekend The Maccabeats

w o n d e r f ul ch r i stm a s NO CHRISTMAS time The Shins Put out the fake plastic holly, throw on your kitschy sweater, and preheat that oven! The Shins took on Paul McCartney’s 1979 world-wide sensation with their similarly spunky tonality and merry keyboard and bells. The holidays will truly rule once you hear this dangerously catchy song.

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FOR ME Zee Avi

Who couldn’t resist Zee Avi’s adorablypleasant original song, sweet voice, and guitar strumming? It’s actually impossible not to get all warm and fuzzy inside once you turn this song up because, one, it’s winter time and, two, that’s exactly how she wants you to feel.

Snaps to you, girl, snaps to you.

LITTLE DR U M M ER BOY

Sufjan Stevens

B a by i t ’ s cold o uts i d e Norah Jones and Willie Nelson This overplayed, often overdone duet was given a second—or maybe 20th­—chance when the fabulous Norah Jones and renowned Willie Nelson took over in 2010. Everything Jones touches basically turns to gold, so sit by the fire with that special someone, pretend to see some light snowfall out the window—past the palm trees, of course—and give this song a listen.

C h r i stm a s w r a pp i n g

The Waitresses

C H RI S T M A S WALTZ

She & Him Couples dancing, candy canes, record players, pearl earrings and hot cocoa come to mind while listening to this elegant melody. Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward really know how to create a simple, yet beautiful song with their own unique flare and style.

Check out the whole album for more loveable, festive carols.

J i n g l e B e ll R o ck Rogue Wave

S T U DE N T S ’ FAVORI T E H O L IDA Y SONGS: According to a Scribe survey, your top choices were...

1. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” and “All I Want For Christmas Is You” (tie) 2. “The Chanukah Song” and “Winter Wonderland” (tie) 3. “Happy Christmas/ War is Over”

THE INS AND OUTS OF THE REVAMPED GALLERY

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ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPHS BY PATRICK BARBA

The James Alan Rose Art Gallery has been Parker’s premiere art showcase since the remodel in 2009.

Though the architectural masterpiece is undoubtedly a piece of art in itself, there is much more to the building than meets the passerby’s eye. Within its walls, one can find student art, faculty pieces, and unique pieces by local professional artists. “It is the showpiece of the school. We naturally want to have work in the gallery, in addition to student art work, that showcases professionals,” says woodshop teacher Mr. Barry Cheskaty.

The new gallery curator, Ms. Jaclyn Enck, plays an important role in the revamped gallery: “I’m the medium between all the artists and the teachers.” Regarding the gallery, Enck says, “It’s been a side addition for the teachers, but I think having a central person focusing their energy on it will be helpful.”

The two painters that the gallery has recently featured, Alison Haley Paul and Bronle Crosby, have been great examples of the gallery’s new goal: diversity. “Variety is the key. It’s not meant to be devoted to one particular medium,” says Ms. Melanie Taylor, the new Upper School art teacher.

The type of art differs throughout the year, from the paintings in the gallery currently to furniture and sculptures, which will be featured in the gallery in February during the San Diego State University art program. There is an exciting list of shows planned that

include art from alumni, which will coincide with the centennial celebration, and student art from interim trips.

As much as these professionals dominate the scene in the gallery, the students have always been and will always be the focus. “We want to have people that will be willing to share their art with the students to make them better artists,” says Cheskaty.

Taylor is very optimistic about the gallery’s future. “The gallery is a wonderful arena for visitors from this school to see what’s going on in the art department. Not many schools have such a professional gallery. I think it has a huge amount of potential,” she says.

With the new changes, the gallery can act as a stepping stone for art on campus. If art plays such an important role in Parker’s curriculum, it should be featured more heavily around school. “I’d love to see artwork everywhere around campus, not just in the gallery,” Taylor says.

GA L L ER Y C U R a T OR : Ms. JACLYN ENCK

Ms. Jaclyn Enck is a brand new face on the Parker campus this year and the new face of the gallery. Originally from New York City, she came to San Diego in February to work with a nonprofit organization called ArtReach. This group goes into public elementary schools that can no longer afford art in their curriculum and teaches free art classes to the students.

Her focus here in the gallery is to work with the art teachers to bring in local artists to be displayed. Not only does she work in the gallery, but her major in studio art allows her to work in all the different art classrooms and build up all the programs in the art department. She is not only a curator but an aide, a teacher, and an artist herself.

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BECAUSE THERE AIN’T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH

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ARTICLE BY SOREN HANSEN AND JAKE SIEGLER PHOTOGRAPHS BY SOREN HANSEN AND SEAN WATERS

We’re stranded in this madness: clothes torn, bodies slowly wearing down, every ounce of strength exuded in our ascent up this snow-capped mountain. Over the last few days, we’ve been chased by ferocious grizzlys and narrowly avoided dangerous rock falls while parachuting down from the helicopter. Some 5,000 feet above sea level, there’s hardly any civilization even from a bird’s-eye view. Our hike has been treacherous, our once shiny shoes are holed and dirty, our water supply is running thin amidst the piercing cold.

Initially, this was all a game, the challenge was to make it to the peak of the mountain, but now the game is to hold onto our lives.

The reality of our journey is far less extraordinary, although our fantasies might beg to differ. We, Jake Siegler and Soren Hansen, find ourselves in the depths of the chapparal, a fairly inhabited coastal region called San Diego. We will uncover some of the greatest hikes in the region, documenting our discoveries along the way for future trail blazers. Welcome to the wilderness.

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Survival Tips: H TO THE O:

When the afternoon sun is beating down on your back harder than a heavyweight boxing punch, nothing will help you more than water.

Alternative tip: Find a small circular pebble and stick it under your tongue to keep yourself hydrated. Imagine Dr. Pibb meets Lipton’s Iced Tea. B ring / wear deodorant :

We all sweat, we all smell, but do us all a solid and let us focus on our hike, not your body odor.

Alternative tip: Take a bay leaf and place it under your armpit. You won’t smell like body odor; instead you’ll smell like soup.

K now where you ’ re going :

Be it by stars, by iPhone or by Hansel and Gretel-esque path (Not recommended on trails with dense squirrel populations).

Alternative tip: If you feel the need to mark your trail, employ techniques used by the Native Americans and Boy Scouts everywhere. The most simple sign is stacking two stones on top of one another on the side of the trail. If rocks are unavailable, twist a small clump of grass or weeds into a knot.

S nakes are food , not foes :

If the heat doesn’t get you, the snakes, crocodiles, spiders and scorpions will.

Although we associate these creatures with their venom and fangs, snakes in particular are a useful source of protein. Although we’ve come to love cartoon snakes like Kaa, Viper and Jaffar, even our friends must become our food when in the wild.

Alternative tip: Kumeyaay natives have developed a trick where they can break a snake’s neck with their mouth – but beware, the last thing you want is to get bitten in the face.

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OUR DAILY JOURNAL:

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4

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M I S S IO N T RAI L S

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DEVI L ’ S PUNCHBOWL

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T ORRE Y PINES

LAKE M IRA M AR

Resources running low, we needed to get water soon or we would perish in this wasteland. Our hope is dwindling, our only guide is the moonlight.

Thankfully, we were lucky enough to stumble across an oasis. Locals call it Mission Trails and it offers us a relaxing break from our hectic journey.

As we sit on the Old Mission Dam with loons lamenting the setting sun, we gaze up at the majestic purple mountains dotted with clouds. From the top of these peaks, a panoramic view awaits us, stretching up and down the coastline for miles and miles. But these daunting trails are not unlike anything we’ve seen. We will prevail, we will survive. A nearby sparrow sings, and the branch she rests on rustles its leaves.

This hike, although filled in the springtime with freshly bloomed flowers and tall sycamore trees, ends at a waterfall with ledges for jumping off. If you suffer from an innate fear of heights, this is certainly not the best opportunity to display your machismo. As we came to a bed of boulders at the base of several small cliffs, dozens of others sat eating, mingling, and relaxing. It appears we were not the first to discover this trail; nonetheless, it provides hikers with a feeling of isolation and remoteness in the thick of the forest. We spent several minutes talking to a group of tourists from Thailand, who had somehow caught wind of this hike back home, and had taken a day trip from nearby Los Angeles in order to hike the apparently infamous Devil’s Punchbowl.

We stood atop the peak of the Beach Trail, reading the plaques of the Kumeyaay tribe that once called the Torrey Pines State Reserve home. Below, we heard the commotion over a seal washed up on the shoreline.

As we rested gently against an age-old boulder, an oddly-dressed man spoke loudly on his phone, which miraculously had reception. Amidst the man’s sporadic outbursts about leftovers and tickets to Les Misérables, we took time to look over the bluffs and onto the glassy waters below us. This hike, although slightly steep at times, is incredibly scenic and filled with everyone from families to clearly avid hikers sporting Camelbacks and trekking poles. It’s certainly one for the books, and we recommend this to first-time hikers and veterans alike.

We happened upon a small lake, glassy and pure. Located near the village known as Scripps Ranch, this lake turned reservoir was a wonderful place to enjoy catching our next meal. Roping together a few tree branches to create a makeshift raft and using a long stick to navigate, we poled out from shore and dropped our river reed lines, determined to make a catch.

After many unlucky fish had ended up as our meal, fate ruined our perfect day when the raft drifted out too far and we were stranded. Thanks to a friendly family out on their afternoon boat ride and a group of walking moms who spotted our smoke signal, we are back on dry land. Our journey in San Diego has come to a close, but our journey in life will never end. The wilderness welcomes us.

Demanding (Level 4) Distance from Parker: 10 min.

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moderate (Level 2) Distance from Parker: 40 min.

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Moderate (Level 2) Distance from Parker: 30 min.

Easy (Level 1) Distance from Parker: 25 min.

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I N T H EIR O W N W ORD S

“ “

Being a freshman on varsity was scary at first, but the girls are really accepting.”

FRESHMAN JENN WINEHOLT Coach Landicho has definitely brought the tradition back to Parker volleyball.

I’ve enjoyed playing for him this season, and look forward to next season!”

SOPHOMORE MADELEINE CASEY

AS COACHES GOT BUMPED, THE TEAM SET UP FOR SUCCESS

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ARTICLE BY JAY GARDENSWARTZ PHOTOGRAPHS BY MRS. CATHY MORRISON

Number two in the county. Number 12 in the state. CIF Division Four champions. SoCal Regional champions.

The Lady Lancers certainly proved themselves this year, most recently by winning the state title—something the girls’ volleyball team had not achieved since 2005.

But there was more to this team than winning and wobble-ing. Under the direction of four different coaches in the past four years, the team had to adjust to different coaching styles and a variety of personalities. Current head coach John Landicho explains, “I am this year’s seniors’ fourth coach in four years and the juniors’ third coach in three years. That is tough for any student-athlete to deal with.” But what the coaches lacked in consistency, the team made up for with hard work and friendship.

As co-captain Alexis Salmons explains, “The last four years have been pretty tough on everyone.” Changing coaches so frequently took its toll. And, as many of the players have pointed out, any close-knit group of high-school girls experiences occasional tension.

However, Director of Athletics Dan Kuiper says that there are upsides

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to working with a variety of coaches: “Learning how to handle different ways of practicing with different coaches...that diversity in many ways is beneficial to the players.”

With every new instructor comes a new coaching style to which the girls must adapt. That means new methods of conditioning, new strategies, and an overall change in dynamics. But these girls put in the time during their season; some mornings you could find them here at 5 a.m. and some nights as late as 8 or 9 p.m.

Most importantly, the team acted like a family. Landicho explains, “The team, through its hard work, has positioned itself well to achieve the team performance-related goals it set in August. Just as importantly, the players have grown through the process, helping us to achieve our mission of developing dynamic young women through championship-level volleyball.”

And, for those who were sitting in the stands on that Saturday in Irvine, or watching the game on Channel 4, it was a day to remember.

“

It’s been pretty rough having to change the way you play for each coach that comes along, but it’s also been good because it really tests one’s resiliency. I think the fit we have now will stay for a while.”

JUNIOR MICHAELA DEWS

“

I think it’s really the team that drives success. We’ve been successful due to the overall commitment and dedication of this fantastic team!”

SENIOR SARAH SCHNELL

HOW A VIDEO GAME HAS CHANGED SOCCER IN THE U.S. ARTICLE BY COLIN GREY ILLUSTRATION BY STANLEY GAMBUCCI

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Ten years ago, soccer was the fastest-growing sport in the United States; it was even said that it was just a matter of time before everyone was watching soccer on the weekends instead of traditional American sports.

But the popularity of soccer fizzled, rather than exploding, and much of this can be attributed to American bias against soccer. Accustomed to American sports such as football and basketball that end in huge score lines, it is hard for most Americans to wrap their heads around the appeal of a sport that can end in a 0-0 draw.

Although soccer has been the fastest-growing sport for the past decade, the fan support for professional soccer in the U.S. did not experience the same growth. But recently, this has begun to change; this growth can be partly attributed to the video game FIFA. FIFA is a virus. Once you start playing you grow attached to certain teams and, before you know it, you, are checking scores and reading the latest news. You start to have an affinity towards certain players and, before long, you are wearing their jerseys to school. “For those who don’t usually watch soccer,” says senior Sam Bagheri, “FIFA became a turning point.

People play as their favorite teams,

which then causes a mass interest towards soccer on television.” FIFA is the most popular sports video game in the world, grossing around $5 billion, and it continues to spread in the U.S. Soccer is very easy to fall in love with; it is known as the beautiful game for a reason. Watch a Barcelona game and you will understand; dazzling skill, lightning fast passes, and the greatness that is Lionel Messi will leave you shell shocked. A soccer game is nonstop action and is very appealing to fans of sports such as basketball and hockey. A 2-1 score may not seem like the makings for an exciting game, but any soccer fan will tell you that there is much more to soccer than the goals; soccer is about the build-up. If you watch soccer just to see the goals, you will surely be disappointed, but FIFA makes you aware of the other aspects of the game. FIFA is so authentic that it has been used to accurately predict the winners of the 2010 World Cup and the past MLS season. While some have always been soccer fans, others found their fandom through FIFA. “I think FIFA definitely gets people to watch more soccer,” says sophomore Kevin Rodin. “Once they play the video game and realize that

soccer is really cool, they want to see what real soccer looks like.” Often, people hear about FIFA from a friend and want to try it, and once they start playing they want to see the real thing.

In the U.S., the most popular teams are FC Barcelona, widely regarded as the world’s best team, and Manchester United, England’s most storied club. There are also other popular clubs in the U.S. Rich clubs such as Chelsea FC, Real Madrid, Barcelona, Manchester City and AC Milan have started to market themselves in North America because of the rising popularity of European soccer in the U.S., and these teams are more popular in the U.S. than most of the MLS teams.

Soccer will not be able to be one of the most popular sports in the U.S. until the MLS gains traction in the U.S. Today, the center of American soccer is not any MLS stadium in the U.S., but rather the FIFA digital labs in Vancouver, where every year the designers of FIFA come together to create the best and most comprehensive sports game the world has ever seen.

Soccer cannot be huge until the MLS is able to transcend the video game as the focus of soccer in the U.S.

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SEASON PREVIEW:

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ARTICLE BY SEAN WATERS

Photos Courtesy of smugmug.com

As we transition from the fall season with two CIF championships and one state championship under our student athletes’ belts, the Lancers look to continue their success. Many of the teams have reported losing key senior players from last year, but believe that their current rosters have no less strength. Due to this year’s student section, led by Rallycomm, there is more spirit in the student body than ever before and the students are ready to cheer on the teams. Here is a glimpse into the winter sports teams and the reports key players gave over Facebook about the upcoming season.

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Sophomore Emily Chiem (front), junior Annie Sager (top), and the rest of the team performing at a Friday night football game

The Sea Otter Regatta, Monterey, Oct. 13-14

Senior Marisa Young plays in the Patrick Henry vs. Parker game

CHEER

SAILING

GIRLS’ SOCCER

Keep an eye out for some new cheers and fresh smiles as the winter cheer team begins its new season.

They may have fewer girls than during the fall season, but that doesn’t mean they will be any less spirited. As junior Whitney Ralston explains, this isn’t all bad: “Since we are going to be losing more people this season, it only means we will gain more one-onone time with the coaches and possibly get rid of the varsity and junior varsity divide.” Ralston thinks the team will only get better and that the students should be on the lookout for some new fun cheers, fewer injuries, and higher attendance at games.

Ralston says that cheer will be trying to work with Rallycomm to increase school spirit.

After the loss of eight seniors last year, the team has changed a great deal, but it’s slowly regaining its strength. Team captain Kevin Eve says, “I believe that it isn’t really a disadvantage, but more of a chance for our younger sailors to prove that they can sail at a high level. Under the fearless leadership of Coach Bryan Rigby, I believe that we will be able to fill the shoes that our graduates left for us. Although we didn’t do as well as we hoped at our first regatta, we know that we can improve at our next regatta and rep that brown and gold in Newport this December.”

As the girls suit up, they look forward to a challenging but strong season and the chance of winning CIF. Girls’ soccer will be interesting this year, says junior Randee Holman-Kelley.

“We lost some key players last year, but I’m excited because we have a pretty big group of freshmen coming in that I’ve heard great things about. I can’t help but be excited and anxious for this season.”

Senior Sean Naficy blocking a shot

Junior Dylan Crispen at the OB surf contest

BOYS’ SOCCER

SURFING

With the loss of some critical players from last year, the soccer team is ready to step up its game. Senior Sean Naficy says, “I think we have an amazing group of guys and I think this season is going to go really well. Even though we lost Kretzy [Ryan Kretz ‘12], I think that everyone is going to do a great job.”

Fellow athlete and senior Parker Stow agrees that “everyone seems to be going into the season wanting to have some fun because that’s really what the season should be about.

We definitely have a good chance of returning to the finals this year and possibly winning the CIF title, which I know everyone on the team is really working towards.”

As winter rolls in, so do the big swells as the Parker surf team gets ready for the season. The surf team is still a fairly new sport at Parker, but it has remained strong over the past few years.

“We lost almost all of our surfers last year, with the seniors graduating,” says junior Dylan Crispen.

“However, we picked up a lot of talented surfers and actually ended up having a bigger team this year. I think we will do pretty well and could even see some people in the finals of the individual rounds.”

Senior Bryce Fitzner plays in the Bishop’s vs. Parker game

Senior Maya Jackson plays in the Mt. Empire vs. Parker game

BOYS’ BASKETBALL

GIRLS’ BASKETBALL

As the boys’ basketball team prepares for an exciting season, junior Evan Fitzner says, “We have a good group of young players accompanied by some upperclassmen leaders, which is a good combination.

We hope to become better players and better people... and to win.” Senior Connor Polk is also excited to begin the season. He says, “I think we have a chance to be great. Also, we have a great deal of talent coming from people who have already played varsity before like Evan, senior Bryce [Fitzner], and Khaleel [Jenkins].” The basketball team has a great group this year and if all goes well, the student body can look forward to some good competitions and a chance at CIF.

This winter, the girls’ basketball team will face some challenges with the loss of powerful former players, but with support, they think they will power through it. Senior Maya Jackson says, “I think with hard work, we will be able to get the results we want.

There will also be a lot of new girls coming out, so there will be more teambonding, which is exciting.” Senior Grace Nicklin agrees: “I’m excited for this year. I’m hoping we manage to have a fun and successful season!”

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PARKER STUDENTS’ PREGAME RITUALS ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPHS BY JACK BENOIT

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Junior Elisa Martinez (left), junior Andy Picquadio (center), and senior Jake Glasser (right).

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It was game seven of the World Series and fans around the nation watched on the edge of their seats; the game was tied going into the bottom of the 9th inning. An eight-year-old boy begged his parents to let him stay up for the end of the game. This same boy had been wearing white tube socks with stripes that perfectly matched the colors of his team since game one of the series. He watched as his favorite player hit a walkoff home run to win the series and he began jumping up and down in the living room exclaiming, “It was the socks, it was the socks!” Like this superstitious little guy, many sports fans and athletes alike often have specific rituals or superstitions that they believe will enhance their team or performance. Check out some stellar Parker athletes as they explain some of the rituals they perform prior to sporting events.

J U N IOR E L I S A M AR T I N EZ Varsity Cross Country, TRACK AND SOCCER

“I don’t really believe in superstitions, but I do believe in rituals. I don’t think that I would perform badly if I didn’t do my routine, but I do think it mentally prepares me best for my games or meets.

Before a cross country meet I get on the start line a couple minutes before the race starts and I get down on my right knee. Then I close my eyes, bow my head down, and motion the sign of the cross. I say a quick prayer asking God for strength to help me work my hardest and give me the strength to finish.

I do the same thing for soccer, but on the field before they start the game. And if I get substituted into a game, I run to my position and touch my hand to the grass for a second.

Then I perform the sign of the cross again and continue running to my spot and then start playing.

I do this because I am Roman Catholic. I personally believe that without God, I would not exist.

Therefore, I must ask Him for his protection and strength during games and cross country. Praying gives me the satisfaction that He is watching over me and helps me try my best.

God gave me talent for a reason so I must thank Him for it. I started doing this about two years ago when I really started getting more involved with my church. Church really opens my eyes and shows me how to be a better Catholic in my daily life.”

S E N IOR J A K E G L A S S ER

J U N IOR A N D Y P IA C Q U ADIO

“I do believe in superstitions. I believe that some superstitions have more influence than others; some rituals work and others don’t.

I begin every game day after school with a pregame meal immediately followed by a 30-minute nap in the locker room. After this, I usually find sophomore Khaleel Jenkins to play some pre-game slapz (music) in the locker room. After everyone leaves the locker room, senior Hank Childs and I engage in an equipment check and PIP (pads in pants). During this 10-15 minute period, Hank and I go through our equipment and make sure we have everything, then promptly place our knee and thigh pads in our pants.

The next step in my routine is one of the most important: football is a game of fashion. It’s not about how talented you are or how hard you try, but how good you look. Football swag is a hard art to master; however, over the years I have embraced it. We start the swag progression from head to toe: helmet stickers, visor, eye black, bicep bands, arm sleeve, half sleeve, forearm shiver, wrist tape, back plate, towel, hand warmer, pants, leggings, socks, more bicep bands, double socks, more tape, and cleats.

After we are feeling good about how we look, we go to the field and do our normal warm-ups. Then comes the last part of my ritual: running on all fours to the stretch lines. This is where I release my inner ape. I now know that I look good, feel good and therefore will play good.”

“I do not fully believe in them or disbelieve in them. But I continue to do my pre-game ritual because of the small chance that it may help me to do better in the game.

Before every game I play, I have a Monster and a pack of peanut M&M’s (sharing size, of course). I started doing this after I had my best game ever, and it just so happened that I drank a Monster and ate peanut M&M’s before that game.

This ritual really calms me down.

If I’m ever nervous before a game, after I drink the Monster and eat the M&Ms I feel completely calm.”

Varsity FOOTBALL

Varsity LACROSSE

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RECENT ADDITIONS TO THE ENGLISH DICTIONARY ARTICLE BY SEAN WATERS AND KATIE KREITZER

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Once upon a time, there was a man who spit rhymes like Kanye and wrote better than Stephenie Meyer. A man who wore puffy sleeves before Katy Perry. A man who cast men as women in his plays before drag queens were fabulous. A man who said “a wise man knows himself to be a fool” far before Mitt Romney ran for president. William Shakespeare was the trendsetter of his time, authoring plays that are still performed in theatres everywhere and that have inspired some of the most popular pop culture items of our own time. But, beyond his shows and peculiar fashions, Shake-Master-Bill, as English teacher Mr. Jared D’Onofrio calls him, lives on through the nearly 2,000 words he has brought to the English language. And though the playwright did invent the popular word “swagger” in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, it seems that nowadays we modern folk are doing away with traditional text and heading in a—well—more “cultured” direction.

Now, instead of writing sonnets, we write text messages. Instead of spelling out sentences, we butcher words into strange contractions and have a tongue-twisting nickname for every kind of person we come across. Call it what you will—genius, swag, tragedy—but our language is clearly headed in a far different direction than its Elizabethan co-founder intended. Move over Shake-master, our modern vocabularies are getting racier than the sophomore homecoming dresses. Take a look at just a few of the beautiful 21st century, Parker-appreciated words that have been recently added to the Oxford English and MerriamWebster dictionaries:

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MANKINI: NOUN The highly revealing and stylized v-shaped “bikini for men” first popularized by Borat.

I wish we had a swim team... Senior Eric Lee needs a place to rock his mankini!”

Cougar: NOUN An older woman seeking a sexual relationship with a younger man.

Your grandma kept on checking Mr. Trotter out at grandparents’ day; she’s such a cougar!”

LOLZ: VERB Fun, laughter, or amusement.

Mr. D’Onofrio thinks we actually work on our papers during the week: Lolz.”

Bromance: noun A close but nonsexual relationship between two men.

Mr. Harrington and Mr. Aiston went for a hike together this weekend... Their bromance must really be heating up!”

MWAHAHAHA: INTERJECTION An exclamation used to represent laughter, especially triumphant or cackling laughter such as that uttered by a villainous character in a cartoon or comic strip.

The students just sat in to be let out early on Friday...

Like that will ever happen—mwahahaha!”

CHILL PILL: NOUN A notional pill taken to make someone calm down.

Take a break from the crazyness. Learn how to relax and focus. We will have a 20-minute session each Tuesday in Crivello Hall from 11:45 a.m. to 12:10 p.m. So grab some lunch and then take a chill pill.”

F-BOMB: NOUN The word f@$*, used metaphorically as a euphemism.

Dude, I just dropped an F-bomb in front of Ms. Conner. Can she un-admit me?”

JEGGINGS: NOUN Leggings styled to look like tight denim jeans.

Where does Ms. Stern get her jeggings? Love them!”

LBD: NOUN Little black dress.

Oh my God, did you see that sophomore’s dress at the Semi-Winter Semi-Formal? It wasn’t a LBD, it was more like a triple-LBD.”

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THE PERKS OF BEING A LICENSED DRIVER ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPHS BY CHARLOTTE DICK-GODFREY

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A killer party, some shiny new accessories, and a 60 X 92mm card, more commonly known as the driver’s license, are just a few things that accompany the stereotypical sixteenth birthday. Plenty of students have taken advantage of this privilege by cruising up Linda Vista.

Plenty of older students don’t seem to romanticize the idea of independence: they are left in the afternoon dust of the middle school breezeway, waiting for their parents. Senior Parker Stow is one upperclassmen who has delayed getting his license simply because “drivers ed isn’t appealing.” After one acknowledges the commitment of taking online classes, hours of dedication, and a whole lot of determination, it’s not surprising that some are in no hurry to get their licenses.Who knew backseat driving would become such a fad?

U N L I C E N S ED U P P ER C L A S S M E N

Most underclassmen associate junior and senior year with the thrill

of the road. However, plenty of upperclassmen are still regulars in the drop-off zone. Junior Rickey Leary can only “hit the road” if there is a parent in the passenger seat. “I wanted to get my license on time,” he says, “but there is so little free time during the academic year [that] I decided to wait until summer.” Although he will be getting his license this January, Leary grows more and more anxious as he watches his peers get behind the wheel. “When I see my friends drive, I do get that occasional wanting to get my license and go out and have fun,” he says. Senior Parker Stow is yet to even get his permit. Surprisingly, Stow doesn’t find the idea of getting his license appealing. However, getting his permit is appealing to his parents: “My parents definitely get annoyed with me often because I don’t have an interest in driving. They make it clear that they want me to get my license.”

Aside from his parents pushing him, Stow does have some yearnings to get behind the wheel: “When I see sophomores drive by me on my way to school, it makes me want to get my

license a little because it’s weird for me that I’m a senior still getting dropped off my parents.”

DRIVER - S EA T S O P H O M ORE S The new drivers on campus definitely notice the sense of freedom they feel when controlling the gas pedal. “The amount of responsibility you need when driving is a bit scary at first, and I think that’s a big reason why kids delay getting their license, but it really is worth it in the end,” says sophomore Sophie Minteer. Besides the immense responsibility one takes on when obtaining a license, what about the great adventures and new things he/she can do? “I drive past all of these kids that skate and hang out at the same places at which I used to hang out,” explains sophomore Alexander Considine. “It definitely made me realize that my play area is everywhere you can drive instead anywhere you can walk.”

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ENJOYING SWEATER WEATHER IN STYLE

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ARTICLE BY NATALIE SCHMIDT PHOTOGRAPHS BY OLIVIA FIDLER, CIAN LAVIN, AND NATALIE SCHMIDT

Do you get cold and find yourself shivering during the winter months? Do you want to liven up your winter wardrobe and get into the holiday spirit? Do you want stand out in a crowd instead of fading into the background? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then an eccentric holiday sweater is the perfect solution for you! To put you in the holiday spirit, check out these fashionable faculty members with fantastic sweaters.

M s . Du e h r

You might have seen some Parker students walking the halls wearing preppy Lands’ End sweater vests, but science teacher and ASB adviser Ms. Jill Duehr’s holiday attire is not available at your local Sears store yet. This is part of her husband’s collection of women’s extra-large sweaters. “It’s so big, I have to pull it back and belt it,” she says, explaining her sophisticated style. Her husband also has other sweaters with fluffy snowmen or sparkly snowflakes, and he even has special light-up pins for extra “flair.” Her four-year-oldson Elliot has also started his collection, gathering outfits from relatives and miscellaneous stores.

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Ms. obermeier

Sometimes you don’t find eccentric sweaters, they have to find you. English teacher Ms. Carol Obermeier was freezing one night at a Parker football game, but didn’t want to drive all the way home. After driving from store to store, she finally stumbled upon a “Christmas red” sweater with a large fringed collar. When she got back to Parker, she wasn’t sure what other people would think of it. “Nobody said ‘Hey, nice sweater,’” so she kept wearing it. She says her favorite thing about her sweater is the fact that she doesn’t know if it’s ugly or beautiful.

Ms. Moerder

If you aren’t looking for an outlandish sweater, but still want to show off your holiday spirit, Upper School science teacher Ms. Susan Moerder has some inspiration for you. With enough holiday-themed outfits for each day in December, Moerder always feels festive. “I love Christmas,” she says. “I am the Christmas queen.”

You don’t need to go out and buy an entire collection of sweaters and t-shirts, but consider investing in some more subtle holiday-themed clothes like these.

M s . An d e r s o n

Although English teacher and sophomore class dean Ms. Nancy Anderson looks stunning in her green cardigan, she refuses to wear it out in public because she thinks it’s “an old lady sweater.” But, for all you hipsters out there, maybe a vintage sweater is the perfect thing you need to finish your look.

Anderson didn’t have this totally-hip sweater until a couple of her students gave it to her a few years ago. Although she isn’t quite ready to embrace her trendy cardigan, she refuses to get rid of it. “It reminds me of my students,” she says. Trends come and go, but memories woven in the threads of a knit sweater last forever.

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SCRIBE SPEAKS: ARTICLE BY RAPHIE CANTOR ILLUSTRATION BY CLAIRE BRYAN

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Several months ago, I was sitting in temple on Yom Kippur. Actually, “sitting” is a generous word for a teetering agnostic, so let’s say I was waiting. Waiting to gorge myself. Because in the Jewish faith, Yom Kippur is the day of atonement, where one focuses solely on how one can better one’s relationship with others and God. It was thought by my ancestors that the best way to avoid distraction from all this self-improvement was to abstain from eating and drinking for this day.

Oh, how I love my ancestors. I was reminded of their affection for me with the cotton mouth which ambushed while I hopelessly zoned out at the clock; through my low blood sugar stupor it read 11:46 AM. As each second passed I thought of food in the same risqué and taboo manner as I would the latest celebrity nude photo leak or how a child looks at an R-rated movie. So I wait. And I wait. And I wait for my emotionally conjugal reunion with the food. But through this quasi-hallucinogenic repose I begin to listen to what my rabbi has to say. And what he said got me thinking.

His sermon dealt with the overarching question, “Why should the Jewish people survive?” Fair enough, it seems

? like plenty of people have been trying to kill us for so long; they must have a good reason. Why should we survive? His initial reasons serve as the obvious ones. Is it just to let a culture vanish from this earth? Should it serve as the posthumous “screw you” to the Hitlers and Inquisitors of the past?

Perhaps, but no. My rabbi claimed it is because we Jews have a mission, known as “Tikkun Olam,” Hebrew for “fixing the world.” Assisting the poor, consoling the mourners, and studying the teachings of Judaism: these are examples of fixing the world.

Well, I thought, these seem like noble enough purposes, maybe us Jews should exist! Maybe, we have purpose! But then, I thought, what are the divinely instilled purposes of the other religions if God has chosen the Jews to be the janitors of the world? Well, in Christianity, it is to accept Jesus as their lord and savior, all the while following his teachings. Jesus, a Jew, preached the general tenets of Judaism of his time. So, besides the whole Son of God thing, Christians are essentially Jews. So why is there such a vast difference? Why have Christians throughout the ages tried to rid the world of these so-close-to-being-us

heathens?

Further, other religions have these same mystifying similarities. Islam teaches its followers to observe the five pillars of Islam, which basically tell Muslims to help the poor, observe the sabbath, and be a good person based on the teachings of Muhammad. Muhammad himself spoke the word of the same God who the Jews and Christians follow. So why all the death, why all the suffering, why all the complication which has prevented us from progressing socially as a society for so long?

In truth, the idea of God was created to help us humans survive as a species. It tells us to help one another survive, and be a good person. And if you don’t…there is a God that hears everything you say and sees everything you do and if you don’t do exactly what he says, he will smite you!

And this school of thought did its job.

As long as we survived, it survived. So what happened to God? My answer to all those questioning faith like me is that God retired. I’m sure that creating a universe is tough enough, and that the Almighty is living off Social Security and pensions.

But He has a faith of himself, which He follows indefinitely. (By the way, God is a He, because a chick wouldn’t have messed the world up this bad.)

His faith is us. God has faith in humanity, but we trust our faith in Him. This loop in the duality of faith can never be completed, the circuit always closed so long as we only trust in God. So, what can we do? Change the circuit. Maybe we should believe in us too.

Now, we know collectively not only what will allow us to survive as a species, but also what will allow us to thrive as a species. We have become learned enough in the studies of life and humanity that it’s time we don’t have the past telling us how to live. We must decide how to live for ourselves.

It’s our time.

The original version of this piece can be found on the Art & Craft of Writing 2nd Period blog. december 2012 THE SCRIBE

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Conversations with the coolest kids on campus ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPHS BY PATRICK RILEY

Marc Tardieux

Freshman Marc “Hackey” Tardieux prides himself on his sass and good looks. Although he may be the only one on the West Coast, this French and Greek Bostonian is a dedicated hockey player. In addition, Tardieux plays soccer, loves dairy products, and enjoys dressing as a Disney Princess.

What do you do in your spare time?

I don’t really have spare time, but when I do, I Facebook.

What teacher most reminds you of yourself?

Mr. Crowley because he loves the Bruins, from what people have told me.

Who is your leading candidate for president in 2016?

Tim Tebow.

You’re stuck on a spaceship with Señor Caracoza hurtling towards an apocalyptic Earth. What do you do?

Stop at the moon for refreshments.

What is the next item on your bucket list?

To rob a casino dressed as Jasmine the Disney Princess.

T A Y L OR S A L M O N S

Sophomore Taylor “Legs” Salmons is a clumsily tall weirdo with a soft spot for Channing Tatum. She is a proud member of the Parker soccer team, the newly established Club Taylor (anyone wishing to join should speak with her manager sophomore Brad Sommer), and her own exclusive club, The Golden Standard (they are not accepting members at this time). When not moisturizing, Salmons can be found meandering the streets of Hillcrest pretending to be a hipster.

What is the most random fact you know?

Sophomore Alexa Rodriguez has two belly buttons.

Who is your favorite TV character?

Raven Baxter from That’s So Raven. She made me the person I am today.

What is your most appealing quality?

My legs, of course. They are the Golden Standard.

What turns you on most about the opposite sex? And off?

Anyone who is remotely similar to [sophomore] Miles Coll turns me on. Anyone else is a turn off.

What is your coolest fascinating talent?

I collect gum wrappers. Is that a talent?

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N a th a n H O Junior Nathan “Nay-Nay” Ho didn’t choose the thug life; it chose him. A self-proclaimed Pokémon trainer, Ho was born on St. Patrick’s Day in the quaint town of San Diego. He has blossomed into a handsome young man who likes to spend his free time coning, invisible roping, and dancing behind people. Next time you see him in the halls, make sure to notice his sultry deep voice and seductive eyelashes, but stay away ladies! His heart lies with Katy Perry.

Where is the most exotic place you’ve ever been?

Down Linda Vista Road. I’ve never experienced such diversity.

Do you play any sports?

I’m not very good at this particular sport, but I wanna be the very best of them, the best there ever was. To catch Pokémon is my real test, but to train them is my cause. It is a tough life being a Pokémon trainer.

Who is the most attractive person of the same sex?

Junior Omar Harb ;).

Use calculus to find the meaning of life:

As my main man once said, “One particle of Unobtanium has a nuclear reaction with the Flux Capacitor, carry the two, changing its atomic isotope into a radioactive spider” (Jenko, 21 Jump Street).

Most embarrassing moment at Parker (or ever, if you insist):

Guys’ cheer...

K E L L Y M A H AFFE Y Senior Kelly “The Smelltor” Mahaffey has dedicated her life to becoming a sushi apprentice of Jiro Ono. Despite her busy schedule, the varsity soccer player still finds the time to, as she puts it, “kick balls and shred hills.” Mahaffey is a Swiss citizen with an irrational fear of facial hair. Lastly, she would would like to make a special shout-out to senior Eric Lee for his extraordinary acting skills.

What’s your biggest regret in life?

Opening Booty’s [senior David Wright] snapchats Politics are...

scary to argue about with [senior] Eva Scarano.

Favorite place to have an emotional meltdown on campus:

I thought Barsky outlawed emotions during school hours...

What are three items I would find in your refrigerator right now?

What are three items you wouldn’t find in my refrigerator right now?

The only thing more pathetic than the Chargers...

is [senior] David Nussbaum’s neck beard.

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J e a n J a ck e ts

You know you have one from that family photo you took on the beach last year. What was once only brought out for your Michael Spengler moments is now hanging in the windows of Urban Outfitters.

U g ly sw e a t e r s

“That sweater makes you look lumpy,” you say? More like vo-lump-tu-ous.

Put Grandma to work this winter.

Bust out those knitting needles and take back that ball of yarn you gave your cat for Christmas. Don’t forget the elbow patches.

L e a th e r

No need to feel bad, I’m sure this animal has accepted his role in the fashion industry. If anything, he’s probably proud of his fate. Who wouldn’t want to be on Rihanna’s hot bod? #livingthedream

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s e n d i n g cut e sn a pch a ts

I didn’t download this app so you could send me the duck face. If anything, I did it to boost my self-confidence by screenshotting the octa-chin that just materialized on my screen. I can only do five chins, so I’m feeling pretty fit.

M ult i cultu r a l i sm

This is 2012, baby. The days of going on “Christmas” break are long gone.

It’s time to celebrate our diversity and be accepting of all faiths. I say we all try switching it up this season by celebrating something new. How hard could it be? Let’s light some candles and kick it, Kwanzaa.

pl a i d

Still not cute.

It’s coming back. Go find those flannels from seventh grade and start layering.

We won’t let J-Biebs ruin it this time.

U ns i g htly S l i ps

BEING “ONE WITH NATURE”

Uggs

Many of you have tried to skirt around the skorts (yay for puns) by cutting out the shorts inside. However, I think you forgot about that slit that hovers right under your tusch. I’m tired of seeing your cheeks through the flap. Gross.

Wind in your hair, sun on your back; nothing is hotter than a man who can survive off of nothing but a hand-carved spear and a bandana.

Prove your manhood by roughing it for a few days.

ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPHS BY DUTRA BROWN

+ compiled by Jay Gardenswartz PHOTOGRAPHS by Jay Gardenswartz

If Chai were I stopped bea reindeer, lieving in Santa he would be named... when...

Morgan S m i th

for Will Gaines to Santa doesn’t exfollow me back on ist? #realtalk Twitter.

an A in Mr. Taylor’s class!

I am and forever will be a believer.

a trunk full of new ChapSticks!

I still believe in Santa. Every year I pay the postal service to get my reply from him!

just a friend.

Please?

Barsky crushed my dreams.

Parker Z i mm e r m a n

M c K e nn a All a r d

Have you been naughty or nice this year?

Sorry... I only drink coffee!

Being nice since ‘97.

“Nonfat with Vanilla.” You can even hear it in the song: “You know there’s Dasher and Dancer, Nonfat with Vanilla...”

Oh, you don’t even want to know!

I would like to be caught under the mistletoe with...

How will you spend your final day before the apocalypse?

Earning and Biggie Smalls, burning, snapping so we could rap necks and cashing together. checks.

That’s my own dirty little secret...

Stocking my shelter under Mr. Barsky’s office.

¡“Fleas” Navidad!

One Direction Third-wheeling I’ve tried to and any other with Alex be nice, but Wasserman it’s hard when middle school– you’re this good aged British boys and Arianna because... I’m a Gastelum looking. cougar. RAWR!

sold! (on eBay)

Like a kitten.

a college acceptance letter.

Please?

Why? What have you heard?!?!

my husband, because if I say Brad Pitt, my husband will be upset.

Ditching school with Señor Caracoza.

Ciaran G a ll a g h e r

Mrs. Carrie D i lm o r e

for my students to stop asking I went to “When are we college and he actually going to didn’t come to my use this?” You’re dorm room. not! There... I said it!

The Doggie Lama

Solving fun trigonometric equations like tan23x = 3.

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