Tuesday, February 18, 2014 - The Daily Cardinal

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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Since 1892

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Rec Sports’ budget to raise student fees By Emily Gerber THE DAILY CARDINAL

The Division of Recreational Sports’ 2014-’15 budget was approved by the Student Services Finance Committee Monday, which will lead to an $6 increase of student segregated fees per student per semester.

“It was a challenging process for us.”

Hank Walter associate director Wisconsin Union

The budget, comprised of a total segregated fee allotment of $3,291,900, was approved with a vote of 7-0 with one abstention. Director of Rec Sports John Horn said with the approval of Rec Sports’ 2014-’15 budget, the maximum segregated fee request in the future Recreational Sports Master

Plan would be reduced to $102, as opposed to the previous $108. The Wisconsin Union also presented its 2014-’15 budget, with a request of $17,703,500 in segregated fee revenues. The proposed budget features a $1.99 increase in segregated fees per student per semester, which is a total increase of $273,600 from this current year’s budget. While segregated fees make up the majority of the Union budget, the Union also generates revenues through services both Memorial Union and Union South offer, such as the buildings’ food venues. Associate Union Director Hank Walter said there was some uncertainty in compiling next year’s budget proposal, as many variables rely on a decision from the State Building Commission next month in regards to the Memorial Union Reinvestment. “It was a challenging process for us,” Walter said, in terms

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Drunken driving to be criminalized

TOMMY YONASH/THE DAILY CARDINAL

Associate Union Director Hank Walter discusses expected changes to come with the Memorial Union renovation.

AMY GRUNTNER/DAILY CARDINAL FILE PHOTO

John Horn, Director of Recreational Sports, explained the segregated fee increase to improve workout facilities.

Wisconsin could become the last state to criminalize drunken driving. State Rep. Jon Richards, D-Milwaukee, introduced a bill Monday that would criminalize first-offense drunken driving. Currently, a firstoffense is treated equally to a traffic violation. Under the bill, first-time drunken driving offenders would be fined up to $300 or receive 5 days in jail, according to a statement. Richards said a majority of drunken driving accidents involve drivers who have previous convictions. The increased penalty would cover the cost of enforcing the new law, according to the statement. Richards has supported multiple bills to improve public safety, all of which tighten intoxication laws, according to the statement. The attorney general candidate said this bill is one of several that needs to pass the state Legislature in order for Wisconsin to “get serious about drunken driving.” “First offenders are no less dangerous than repeat offenders,” Richards said. Richards is running in the 2014 attorney general election.

Landmarks Commission denies Gilman Street construction permit By Dana Kampa THE DAILY CARDINAL

Madison residents debated what Ald. Marsha Rummel, District 6, called one of the Landmarks Commission’s “most divisive and controversial projects” at a meeting Monday. Steve Brown Apartments requested permits to demolish 121, 123 and 127 W. Gilman St. buildings and construct three apartment buildings. The

Commission denied the construction request and referred the demolition request to another meeting. Project developer Shane Fry said the process has been frustrating and spoke about the difficulty of creating a construction plan that is compatible and economically feasible. “We feel that we’ve worked very, very hard with city staff to get to a project that can be a good

project for everyone, including the neighborhood,” Fry said. “We’re at our bare bones.” Property owner Steve Brown controversially and allegedly intentionally let 127 W. Gilman St. fall into disrepair so the Commission would let him demolish the building, despite being located in a historic district.

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Student government aims to improve college affordability The state Assembly voted along party lines Thursday to defeat the “Higher Ed Lower Debt” bill that had been debated the last month, which would have lowered interest rates on student loans in the state. The bill would have created the Wisconsin Student Loan Refinancing Authority to enact policy allowing students to refinance their student loans. It would have also required higher learning institutions to provide counseling

to students concerning the responsibilities of both parties involved in the loan. David Gardner, Associated Students of Madison Chair, said he was disappointed to see the bill voted down but added ASM was working closely with legislators to address student concerns about the rising cost of education. Gardner said ASM has “huge concerns” with regards to statements University of WisconsinMadison Chancellor Rebecca

‘Drunk in Love’ (with Ian’s) +ALMANAC, page 2

Blank has made in relation to increasing tuition. Morgan Rae, ASM’s Legislative Affairs Committee Chair, noted college affordability will still be a priority for student government. Rae also said other tuition policies will be priorities for the committee, including tuition caps and freezes, which must be renewed biannually in the state’s budget.

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GORDON COMMONS

Strollin’ Colon

The UW Carbone Cancer Center presents a giant inflatable replica of a human colon, meant to educate the public about various colon conditions and cancers. + Photo by Wil Gibb

out the Badgers’ +SPORTS, page 8 Batter Up! Check 2014 Softball Preview

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”


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hi 40º / lo 22º

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892 Volume 123, Issue 79

2142 Vilas Communication Hall 821 University Avenue Madison, Wis., 53706-1497 (608) 262-8000 • fax (608) 262-8100

News and Editorial Editor-in-Chief Abigail Becker

Managing Editor Mara Jezior

News Team News Manager Sam Cusick Campus Editor Adelina Yankova College Editor Emily Gerber City Editor Patricia Johnson State Editor Eoin Cottrell Associate News Editor Dana Kampa Features Editor Melissa Howison Opinion Editors Haleigh Amant • Ryan Bullen Editorial Board Chair Anna Duffin Arts Editors Cheyenne Langkamp • Sean Reichard Sports Editors Brett Bachman • Jonah Beleckis Almanac Editors Andy Holsteen • Kane Kaiman Photo Editors Courtney Kessler • Jane Thompson Graphics Editors Mikaela Albright • Haley Henschel Multimedia Editors Amy Gruntner • Grey Satterfield Science Editor Nia Sathiamoorthi Life & Style Editor Katy Hertel Special Pages Editor Samy Moskol Social Media Manager Rachel Wanat Copy Chiefs Vince Huth • Justine Jones Maya Miller • Kayla Schmidt Copy Editors Shireen Mathews • Courtney Miller

Business and Advertising business@dailycardinal.com Business Manager Tyler Reindl Advertising Manager Jordan Laeyendecker Assistant Advertising Manager Corissa Pennow Account Executives Brianna Albee • Erin Aubrey Michael Metzler • Dan Shanahan Elisa Wiseman Marketing Director Cooper Boland Design Manager Lauren Mather The Daily Cardinal is a nonprofit organization run by its staff members and elected editors. It receives no funds from the university. Operating revenue is generated from advertising and subscription sales. The Daily Cardinal is published weekdays and distributed at the University of WisconsinMadison and its surrounding community with a circulation of 10,000. Capital Newspapers, Inc. is the Cardinal’s printer. The Daily Cardinal is printed on recycled paper. The Cardinal is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press and the Wisconsin Newspaper Association. All copy, photographs and graphics appearing in The Daily Cardinal are the sole property of the Cardinal and may not be reproduced without written permission of the editor in chief. The Daily Cardinal accepts advertising representing a wide range of views. This acceptance does not imply agreement with the views expressed. The Cardinal reserves the right to reject advertisements judged offensive based on imagery, wording or both. Complaints: News and editorial complaints should be presented to the editor in chief. Business and advertising complaints should be presented to the business manager. Letters Policy: Letters must be word processed and must include contact information. No anonymous letters will be printed. All letters to the editor will be printed at the discretion of The Daily Cardinal. Letters may be sent to opinion@ dailycardinal.com.

Editorial Board Haleigh Amant • Abigail Becker Ryan Bullen • Anna Duffin Mara Jezior • Cheyenne Langkamp Tyler Nickerson • Michael Penn Nikki Stout l

Board of Directors Herman Baumann, President Abigail Becker • Mara Jezior Jennifer Sereno • Stephen DiTullio Jacob Sattler • Janet Larson Don Miner • Phil Brinkman Jason Stein • Nancy Sandy Tina Zavoral

© 2014, The Daily Cardinal Media Corporation ISSN 0011-5398

For the record Corrections or clarifications? Call The Daily Cardinal office at 608-262-8000 or send an email to edit@dailycardinal.com.

Wednesday: partly cloudy hi 40º / lo 29º

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Andy’s scary story: walking home drunk, cold and alone

edit@dailycardinal.com

tODAY: partly cloudy

Andy Holsteen agent a-hol

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ast time, I shared a story about my bizarre encounter with a scary-drunk dude named Dartanian. For scary story time this week, I’m moving the setting to Madison. The headline is deceptive. This entirely true tale tells of much more than one sad night where I trudged home after being rejected by a girl. There actually weren’t any members of the opposite sex involved or broken hearts. It was cold though. And at one point I thought I might freeze to death in some random place I didn’t know at all. Okay, this all will make sense at the end, I promise. Just take a minute and read about this dumb thing that happened to me.

Why did I get drunk, go to this concert on a Thursday night, hop on the wrong bus and wander around in an area I don’t know at all when I should have just stayed in because I had strep throat? This was my first semester at UW-Madison, and I was—at this point in my academic career—all about the Wisconsin Idea. The idea of getting super drunk on a school night, because why the fuck not? My bfffffffs all lived in Palisades sophomore year (I transferred if you were wondering). This particular Thursday, there were lots of party people bumpin’ at the ‘sades. Since I transferred in the middle of the year, I had to find a sublet, which ended up being over by the hospital because it was the most reasonable place I could find at the last minute. And since I lived far as f away from Vilas Hall, I learned how to use the bus system pretty damn well pretty damn fast. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have gone out at all. By probably, I mean definitely. I was feeling just good enough in my recovery from strep throat that it didn’t kill to swallow anymore. Drinking doesn’t help you get over sickness, if you were wondering. Don’t even try to tell me otherwise. So I hopped on the 2 at Forest, and headed over to the ‘sades for a night of serious boozing. Fug it. While sitting on a soggy, blue-carpetted Metro Madison seat, admiring my fancy new leather shoes (such a trend-setter), I ran through my mental game plan: Don’t get too drunk, for the love of God, don’t get too drunk. Normally, getting blitzed wasn’t a huge concern, but at this awkward juncture,

I still cared about making it to class and being a decent human on weekdays. Weird. Almost immediately after entering room 504, it became apparent I would be getting too drunk. There was some band called Emancipator playing at some venue called The Majestic (transfer student stream-of-consciousness), and Pleb me needed to meet all the cool kids. Or else, I would be, like, a loser.

er way. Okay, it’s probably going to turn at the next street... or the next one... or maybe this one. Nope. We

Graphic by Haley Henschel

So we got super drunk and walked to The Majestic, no biggie. It was only the second week of Spring semester, thus, temperatures were in the single digits. Leaving my jacket at home was a poor decision. I’m just gonna check this out for a while, then head home at around midnight, eat a pizza and snug into bed. It’s the best of both worlds, kinda like Miley. For some reason, I couldn’t for the life of me remember the name Emancipator. I kept calling them Incubator. I like that more, tbh. I hated the music, and I was sweaty. Within 10 minutes, I was alone, the cool kids ditched me :(. It was obviously time to leave, so I said “Peace” to nobody and walked out. Low and behold, the 2 was rolling around the Capitol—it was synchronicity, I swear. It was only 12:30 a.m. at this point. I was doing good. In like 20 minutes, I would be in my apartment cooking a frozen ‘za. But instead of continuing around the Capitol square and heading down University as I expected, the bus went anoth-

took a turn down streets I didn’t know and soon ended up in a totally foreign neighborhood. It’s fine, I’ll just stay on the bus until it gets to the end of its route, then it’ll turn around so I can just take it the other way. Nope. A macabre notice went across the LED screen at the front of the vehicle, notifying the transport’s riders (me) this was the last run of the night and all passengers would have to get off. Damn you, non-24-hour buses. I was totally boned. My

drunk ass pulled the cord to make the driver pull over, and I got off in the middle of nowhere. It was two degrees and dark (there were no street lights around). I was wearing this goofy orange-ish sweater my mom bought me as a going back to school gift. It was time to test out those new shoes. It was a long walk. No gloves, no hat, no sense of direction, no balance, no selfrespect, no clue what the f to do, I started walking where I thought I needed to go. Soon I was running. Not because I wanted to, but if I didn’t, fingers would’ve started falling off. In my mind I thought this was some kind of test. Have all my days spent jogging on the treadmill been in preparation for this? All this time I thought I was just trying to slim down a little bit, but actually, it was for survival purposes. The problem about running when it’s two degrees outside is the cold makes your lungs hurt. Being drunk doesn’t help. At this point, I was still kind of paranoid about getting smacked with an underage ticket.

How do I balance the scales between passing out, freezing and looking like a goofy criminal? After about 45 minutes, I was back by The Majestic. I love wasting time. It’s a hobby of mine. The strep throat, which before going out had actually receded a decent amount, was back in full inflammation. My fingers were slightly purple, so I went and got two slices of Ian’s, headed back to the ‘sades and drank away the stinging. Needless to say, I didn’t make it to my 9:50. Hopefully this story made you feel a little better about yourself.

On this day in history... 1924—Sherwin Badger wins the U.S. male Figure Skating championship. His brother, Bucky Badger, looks on jealously from the stands. 1944—The Cincinnati Reds sign 15-year-old Joe Nuxhall, the youngest baseball player of all time. He chooses not to shower with the team after practices. 1979—Snow falls in the Sahara Desert. But some sources say it was just a mirage.


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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

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County to create construction jobs

UNION SOUTH

‘We Challenge U’ to give blood

The American Red Cross hosted a blood drive in Union South Monday as part of the 2014 We Challenge U program, which encourages college students to donate blood during the peak of cold and flu season. + Photo by Nithin Charlly

Assembly Democrats plan education reform State Democrats announced their goals for education accountability reform include reinvesting in public schools and ensuring all schools receiving public dollars are held accountable. State Representatives, Fred Clark, D-Baraboo, Sondy Pope, D-Cross Plains and Mandy Wright, D-Wausau, emphasized their plans to implement a “fair” accountability system that incorporates open board meetings and teacher background checks for voucher schools, according to a statement release Monday. Pope said Republicans who oppose equal accountability because they receive private

interest money are playing a “very wicked game.” Equal accountability for all schools is of “utmost importance,” Pope said. All three members of the Assembly Education Committee stressed the need to protect public school education through increased funding and the creation of a “Turn Around” fund to support struggling schools. Democrats want the state to fund two-thirds of the public education and factor poverty levels into the aid distribution formula. The plan would also let struggling schools use community-based solutions to

lower performance rather than closing public schools after multiple failed years, according to the statement. Clark said there has yet to be any data showing voucher or private schools outperform public schools. Public schools give students a more well-rounded education through sports, music and a sense of community, Clark said. “A strong education system is vital for our children, our economy and Wisconsin’s future,” Wright said. “We hope Republicans will join us in finally doing the right thing for our students and our taxpayers.” —Eoin Cottrell

Rep. Klenke will not run for re-election

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State Rep. John Klenke, R-Green Bay, announced his decision not to seek re-election according to a statement Monday. Klenke originally ran for Wisconsin’s 88th Assembly district seat to support Scott Walker’s agenda for Wisconsin four years ago, according to a statement. As a four-year member of the Joint Finance Committee, Klenke said he admired Gov. Scott Walker’s leadership and the courage of the Wisconsin State Legislature in dealing with budget surpluses, tax cuts and employment. Additionally, Speaker of

State Rep. Michael Schraa, R-Oshkosh, accused the bill’s authors of misleading their constituents with the bill. “Interest rates that low are simply impossible under this legislation,” Schraa said in a statement Feb. 11. “The bill’s authors are misleading the public, and they should be called out on it.” The Senate has referred a concurring bill to its Committee on Universities and Technical Colleges and held a public hearing on the bill earlier this month. ­ —Andrew Hahn

the Assembly Rep. Robin Vos, R-Rochester, expressed his gratitude in a statement for Klenke’s service in the Assembly. Vos said Klenke helped enact “tough” reforms on “historic” tax relief for Wisconsin families and discovered the large surplus in the University of Wisconsin System that led to a two-year tuition freeze. “[John] brought a strong conservative voice to the committee thanks to his years of private sector experience,” Vos said. “I wish him well in his future endeavors.”

Dane County officials presented a multi-step plan Monday to help fill employee shortages in construction companies by connecting them with unemployed workers. Dane County Executive Joe Parisi said “Project Big Step” addresses two challenges facing Dane County: a building industry confronting worker shortages due to aging employees and depleting recruitments, and a broadening unemployed minority community. “When I looked at these two situations, I saw it as an ideal opportunity to bring various groups of people together and take what is a problem and turn it into an opportunity and a solution,” Parisi said. Dane County allotted $30,000 in the 2014 Dane County Budget for the project. According to the press release, the project pairs contractors with employees by recruiting and educating potential workers to fill needed spaces on upcoming projects.

Officials modeled “Project Big Step” after a similar project in Milwaukee, Wis., according to the release. Parisi met with representatives from labor and educational organizations in addition to economic and workforce development specialists to strategize. “We didn’t have to meet very many times to know we were on to something,” Parisi said. The project aims to draw workers back into construction post-Great Recession, while ensuring newly hired trainees stay in the industry, according to the release. With a series of million dollar building projects proposed, such as expansion of the Alliant Energy Center, Parisi said he hopes “Project Big Step” will succeed and reinstitute skilled labor as a promising trade. “I think it’s important students of all ages realize the trades are an extremely viable employment option,” Parisi said. —Morgan Haefner

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best” four or five times. Ald. Ledell Zellers, District 2, said she also thought the Commission took appropriate action. “If it were outside of the historic district, I think that people would cheer for it,” Zellers said. “But under 2 percent of our land in the city is in historic districts.” Madison resident Laura Fabick spoke about remodeling her Gilman Street house into a single-family home, but expressed concern about “being surrounded by buildings allowed to fall into disrepair.” “This is a project that elicits a lot of emotions,” Fry said. “We, on the development side, have to think very rationally about it. We’re passionate too, but we have to take the emo-

City building inspection supervisor Kyle Bunnow said the building has “serious problems” but would likely be in a livable state now if Brown had followed the 1994 recommendations to protect and restore the building. Chairman Stuart Levitan said he thought the Commission “got it right” with the decision to deny the construction. “[The proposal] was too big, and obviously there’s a degree of damage by neglect, which we could not condone,” Levitan said. Levitan also said although the architecture improved throughout the process, the final plans exceeded the size of surrounding buildings by “at

UW professors receive grant for innovative health research Five researchers from the University of WisconsinMadison School of Medicine and Public Health received a two-year, $100,000 grant each to pursue innovative research and education in health, according to a statement. The Wisconsin Partnership Program developed the New Investigator Program to encourage researchers to develop health improvement proj-

ects for Wisconsin. As part of the New Investigator Program, LianWang Guo, assistant professor of surgery, will study new drug reception methods for vascular disease. Melissa Harrison, assistant professor of biomolecular chemistry, will develop treatment or prevention methods for birth defects. Nancy Pandhi, assistant pro-

fessor of family medicine, will assess an integrated-care model for treating mental illnesses. Margaret Schwarze, assistant professor of surgery, will train physicians with a preoperative communication tool for chronically ill elderly patients. Nathan Sherer, assistant professor of oncology, will explore potential therapies to stop the spread of HIV in infected individuals.

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nected with funding the Union’s renovation, Walter said any university project must oversee plans, and ultimate approval must come from the state in order to commence construction. Depending on the commission’s approval, the Union could

see a start in renovations as early as next school year, with the central and east wings closing in the fall semester. However, delays with the state’s approval could postpone construction for two years or longer, Walter said. Katie Carey, Student Project

of developing a realistic budget based off ambiguity in future plans for union construction. “It’s hard to know what exactly is going to happen.” Though the state is not con-

DANA KAMPA/THE DAILY CARDINAL

Ald. Marsha Rummel, District 6, discusses a controversial construction project on West Gilman Street. Manager for the Memorial Union Reinvestment, acknowledged the request of fees from students is large but said that all efforts made on behalf of the Unions are created with students in mind. Carey said the budget developed by the Union is a “result of

a commitment to keeping [segregated] fees low, to serving students fully and to being directed by students.” SSFC will make a decision on the budget Feb. 24, after taking a facilities tour of the Unions this coming Thursday.


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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

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Buress talks career and jokes By Sam Johnson

PLAYLIST

Imitate winter with a few howling rock ‘n’ roll tunes

THE DAILY CARDINAL

How do people interested in working in the entertainment business catch their big break? Who better to answer such a complex question than the talented and accomplished comedian, actor and writer Hannibal Buress? “If you want to do anything, you got to go do it.” he said during an interview with The Daily Cardinal. “Perform a lot, write a lot, make yourself better. Use the Internet, make videos, create content.”

Los Campesinos! “The Black Bird, The Dark Slope” Vivid metaphors collide with a driving beat on this killer track.

Joanna Gruesome “Sugarcrush”

“When I was a kid, I wanted to be on ‘Full House.’ I didn’t even want to act; I just wanted to be Stephanie’s boyfriend.”

Sweet and razor sharp, this song lives up to the dichotomy its title suggests.

Hannibal Buress actor/comedian COURTESY OF HANNIBALBURESS.COM

Hannibal Buress will bring a breadth of experience to his show at Madison’s Barrymore Theater Friday, Feb. 21, drawn from years of writing and performing comedy. Buress is currently performing stand-up comedy across the nation, making a stop in Madison at the Barrymore Theater Feb. 21. When he’s not on tour, Buress co-hosts “The Eric André Show” on Adult Swim, makes cameos on the Comedy Central show “Broad City,” voice acts on the new FX series “Chozen” and puts on his own comedy/music hybrid show in Brooklyn, N.Y. at the Knitting Factory. With such an extensive resume, Buress verifies how important it is for one to showcase their talents in order to succeed. The last time Buress was in Madison, he was touring for his critically acclaimed comedy album, Animal Furnace. When asked what fans should expect in his return, he said, “drug stuff, partying, food, new businesses, FBI investigations, conspiracy theories, 9/11 was an inside job.” No matter the topic, Buress finds a way to inject his quick-wit into the conversation immediately. It’s this style of humor that landed him jobs at “SNL” and “30 Rock” as a writer.

The transition from such a tight-scripted show like “30 Rock” to a more improvised, loosescripted show like “The Eric Andre Show” proved less of a challenge for Buress and more as a new, fun experience.

“If you want to do anything, you got to go do it.” Hannibal Buress actor/comedian

“It was fun, man. It was different. On a sitcom, you don’t really have time to mess around since there are so many moving parts,” Buress said. “At ‘Eric André,’ we have an idea of what we want to do, and just do it, and figure out what’s funny during the editing.” What did Eric André do that got his show on television? Buress explains, “He did live versions of it, and decided to film it on his own. It got around to Adult Swim. It’s weird, if you

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tried to pitch that to someone, it probably wouldn’t get picked up, but he showed people it and now it’s going in its third season.” Another show Buress is part of, “Broad City,” has similar roots. “They did improv and sketch. They made their own thing, made it a web series. It got a lot of attention, someone put them in contact with Amy Poehler, and that’s how they got going,” Buress told The Daily Cardinal. Along with “The Eric André Show” and “Broad City,” Buress voice-acts the character Crisco on FX’s “Chozen.” “Voice-over work is fun because I get to watch the character happen. I’m happy to be part of the project,” he said. When asked what is more difficult, voice-over work or onscreen acting, Buress told us, “It’s really easy to do voice-over work. TV has a lot of moving parts. If one thing goes wrong, you have to reshoot. For voice-overs, I just go in the studio and record lines. An episode takes about 45 minutes to an hour [for me] to make.”

Working on so many TV shows, while very impressive, begs the question, on what TV show would he like to have been on, past or present? Buress admits, “When I was a kid, I wanted to be on ‘Full House.’ I didn’t even want to act; I just wanted to be Stephanie’s boyfriend.”

No Age “Fever Dreaming” Guitarist Randy Russell and drummer Dean Allen Spunt really emphasize the ‘howling’ aspect of this playlist on this track.

No matter the topic, Buress finds a way to inject his quick wit into the conversation immediately. Heliotropes “Psalms” To see more of Hannibal Buress, watch “The Eric André Show” Thursday nights on Adult Swim, “Broad City” Wednesdays on Comedy Central, and “Chozen” Monday nights on FX. Furthermore, come see him perform at the Barrymore Theater Feb. 21st at 8p.m., where audiences should expect an unprecedented amount of roaring laughter and brilliantly executed jokes.

Sludgy, pounding and merciless, this Brooklyn, N.Y. band evokes sublime terror with every riff.


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Ben Ferris Octet and company serenade lovers By Raegan Niemela The Daily Cardinal

Valentine’s Day felt straight out of the ’50s and ’60s this weekend as the Ben Ferris Octet and their vocal guests performed classic jazz and R&B at The Sett last Friday. A better venue could not have been found for this informal, yet romantic live performance. The lights were dimmed low over the audience but shone bright above the energetic musicians, whose smiles and obvious camaraderie created a warm, welcoming atmosphere. The group started the night off strong with featured vocalist Jan Wheaton, a woman small in stature but large in talent. Wheaton showed off her quirky attitude and classic abilities by performing jazz standards such as “Crazy,” “At Last” and a most vibrant rendition of “Kansas City.” Wheaton’s com-

fortable and clearly professional stage presence enhanced audience interactions, keeping the crowd laughing and engaged throughout the early portion of the show. Her experience with jazz and its more classical roots mixed perfectly with the subsequent performers. Following up Wheaton was Annie Wright, head of the Wisconsin Union Directorate’s Performing Arts Committee, who has worked with Ben Ferris in the past. Speaking with Wright before the show about the goals of the Valentine’s performance, she excitedly stated, “The Union always tries to produce really excellent shows, and sometimes reaching from within is the best way to do that.” Feb. 14th was no exception, as Wright got up on stage to perform songs “Tenderly” and “They Can’t Take That Away From Me” with velvet tones and signature

vibrato. The most spectacular of her performances was “Fever,” wowing the crowd with a seductive and modern take on the Peggy Lee favorite. Wright’s vocals are a must-hear as far as live performances go here at UW-Madison.

“A better venue could not have been found for this informal, yet romantic, live performance.”

Next up was Ben Ferris’ sister, Martha Ferris, who took the stage with bright performances of “Come Away With Me” and “A Sunday Kind of Love,” which were made enjoyable by the brother-sister interaction on stage and her playful performance style.

The final vocal guest, Kenny Lyons, was introduced in a spectacular duet of “Wonderful” with Wright and followed up with a solo rendition of “Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing.” He performed both with strong Sinatra-esque vocals and spot-on riffs. Lyons began wrapping the night up as the audience began to filter out, but maintained the quality earlier vocals throughout his set. The meat of the performance were, of course, the Ben Ferris Octet, with Ben Ferris on bass, Matt Woleske on piano, Adam Kohrs on drums, Martin Potter on guitar and Luke Busch, Ty Peterson and Nick Jelich making up the horn section. The group had an exciting energy and clear passion for what they were playing, producing fantastic solos consistently through the night and directly engaging with the audience through

Finding fantastic music projects on Bandcamp By Andy Holsteen The Daily Cardinal

Bandcamp.com might be my favorite website. In its version of a free market music economy—which is free to use, requires no subscription and lets anyone upload music— objectively superior music rises to the top of the pool, as popularity is controlled entirely by listeners, not big-time record labels. Every week I scour this site, looking for not-yet-famous artists making stellar sounds. Here are some of my favorite new releases: Tightrope, by Boat To Row (Feb. 10) The quintet Boat To Row

hails from the English city of Birmingham. Their recent seven-inch release, Tightrope , contains only two songs, “Tightrope” and “Heavy Was The Night” but each exemplifies how tightly-rehearsed ensemble folk creates a soulmoving atmosphere. These are songs for 11 p.m. in your room with the lights off. Now That I’m Here, I Can’t Imagine Being Anywhere Else, by Warren Franklin & the Founding Fathers (Feb. 4) OK, I’m obsessed with Count Your Lucky Stars, because, well, everything that label puts out is so damn good. This album is no exception.

Dear all Neutral Milk Hotel fans (I know you’re still riding the high from their Feb. 8 show), you better give this album a listen. There is definitely some wonderful overlap between them and Warren Franklin & the Founding Fathers. Oh, this album is ‘name your price,’ so you can pay whatever you want for it (and yes, that can mean nothing if you choose that route). There are no downsides here. BOSH!, by Cleft (Feb. 10) It would take more than all my space to describe this record in full detail. The most important thing to know is that it kicks ass. Riff-oriented, but not in an obnoxious way,

BOSH! is a collection of heavy, but also technical guitar and drum awesomeness. It’s not Hella- or Lightning Bolt-esque. There’s less grind and more playful experimentation. Some of the guitar lines are indirectly reminiscent of Jack White. Stumbling across this band was a pleasant surprise. This is the first installment of a weekly Bandcamp feature highlighting great albums and artists just waiting to be discovered, listened to and loved by you, the reader. If you have a Bandcamp to suggest to Andy, don’t hesitate to email him a link with more information at holsteen@wisc.edu

their instruments. Ferris himself sang throughout the night, particularly towards the end of the set with a great rendition of “My Girl,” which was followed by Peterson dropping his trombone—to the crowd’s surprise—and belting out a raw rendition of “Sir Duke.” Some of the groups most memorable instrumentals include the upbeat, exotic “Bolivia,” and the smooth, recognizable melodies of “Nica’s Dream.” All around, there was no better way for the couples dancing among the shaded tables of The Sett to celebrate their day of love than with the amorous jazz tones of the Ben Ferris Octet and their featured vocalists. The love in the air that night was best described by the words of Stevie Wonder in “Sir Duke:” “You can feel it all over.”

Three must see films on campus “Inequality For All” Union South—Marquee Thursday Feb. 20, 7:30 p.m.

“Gravity”

Union South—Marquee Friday Feb. 21, 9:30 p.m.

“Mulholland Drive”

Union South—Marquee Friday Feb. 21, 11:30 p.m.

RECORD ROUTINE

Atlanta rapper lays down good beats and OK rhymes on second mixtape CD REVIEW

Beautiful Pimp II Rome Fortune By Brandon Danial The Daily Cardinal

After Atlanta-native rapper Rome Fortune made his debut

last year with Beautiful Pimp, he’s following it up in 2014 with his second mixtape, appropriately titled Beautiful Pimp II. While the mixtape is nothing Beautiful groundbreaking, Pimp II is a very enjoyable listen, creating a spotlight for the up-and-coming rapper. The most noticeable difference with Beautiful Pimp II is the lack of outside help. Fortune’s first mixtape sported features on almost every track, and a handful of different pro-

ducers were used throughout the album. With Beautiful Pimp II, everything is produced by CitoOnTheBeat, and there is almost a complete lack of featured artists, with the exception of Fortune’s son singing on one track and his grandfather playing the vibraphone on several others. The biggest area for improvement resides in Fortune’s lyrical prowess. The complexity of his rap is very basic, with a lot of verses being executed in a chop-

py arrangement. Fortune doesn’t deliver very much depth either, leaving nothing to be gained after each song ends, which makes the album feel a bit out of focus. Fortune’s weakness behind the microphone is only salvaged by his decision to stick with CitoOnTheBeat throughout the whole album’s production. Fortune’s slow-paced rapping is complemented perfectly by the mellow beats that accompany him. The intoxicating rhythms keep a slow tempo that helps

Fortune stick out from the current trend of adrenaline-fueled trap rap coming out of Atlanta. Beautiful Pimp II’s beauty lies in its simplicity. Without the need for a full team of producers and features, Rome Fortune uses this mixtape to display his own creative arsenal. Beautiful Pimp II is just a fun album to listen to, and it stands out as a breath of fresh air in the rap industry.

Rating: B

Up-and-coming band triumphs on debut album with bristling noise CD REVIEW

Blame Confusion Solids By Jake Smasal The Daily Cardinal

Blame Confusion, the debut album from Solids, is a feedback-filled romp that shows you

can take the band out of the garage, but you can’t take the garage out of the band. From start to finish, Blame Confusion is a fun, frantic release that’s worth a listen for almost all music fans. Solids come off as a mixture of Titus Andronicus and Japandroids, and this is clear from the beginning of the album. Blame Confusion begins with “Over The Sirens,” a guitar-laden track whose vocals don’t kick in until the halfway point. From there, the album takes off with tunes like

“Off White” and “Traces.” These upbeat tracks start to slow down a little near the middle of the album with “Haze Away”— arguably the best song on the album—as well as the title track and “Laisser Faire.” However, it picks up again near the end of the album with “Cold Hands” and “Not Complaining.” This gives Blame Confusion a weird symmetry that is easy to appreciate. Solids go from fast, to slow, to fast again, giving the album a depth it wouldn’t otherwise have.

Blame Confusion ends with “Terminal,” which is another contender for best song on the album. It broods on for almost six dark minutes and shows itself to be the perfect ending to the album. It’s neither fast nor slow, and balances the album really well. The one problem with Blame Confusion is the repetition of themes and parts within the album. While each song is unique, there is some monotony between the tracks. This is a minor complaint, but it could become an

issue over repeated listens. The best part of Blame Confusion, however, is the mixing of the tracks themselves. The album is produced in such a way that all of the parts of a song, both instrumental and vocal, carry the same weight on the track. This is an interesting way to create and produce an album, and it makes Blame Confusion better. Solids’ Blame Confusion is a great album by what very well could be an up-and-coming band.

Rating: A


comics

I feel you, penguins. Penguins at Scarborough Sea Life Centre in Yorkshire, England, have recently been prescribed drugs to boost their mood as the terrible weather has made them depressed.

6 • Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Today’s Sudoku

dailycardinal.com

You Look Tired Today

I’ve forgotten what sun feels like

By Haley Henschel henschel2@wisc.edu

© Puzzles by Pappocom

9 4 5 6 1 3 7 8 8 9 1 2 3 5 7 6 9 2 5 9

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2 7

5 3 9 1 6 4 3

2 4 6 7 7 8 9 5 4 2 6 3 9 2 3 1 5 4 1 7 8 1 7 9 6 Artistically Impaired By Alex Pirkey apirkey@wisc.edu 8 4 2 9 2 4 6 7 3 1 5 8

1 4 6 8 7

Solution, tips and computer program available at www.sudoku.com.

V. EASY Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and# 57 every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

V. EASY

3

2 4 7 Today’s Crossword Puzzle 8 4 9 9 6 3 1 2 9 5 1 5 1 2 4 6 3 6 7 8 2 7 6 3 8 1 5 2 9 2 7 4

V. EASY

# 58

9 3 8 4 1 5 6 2 3 Eatin’ Cake Classic 8 By Dylan9Moriarty 2 graphics@dailycardinal.com 6 3 9 5 8 5 4 1 9 4 5 7 9 8 5 3 5 7 6 2 1 2 7By Caitlin 4 Kirihara Evil Bird Classic

# 59

V. EASY

# 60

Answer key available at www.dailycardinal.com

CRUSTY HOT CHOCOLATE

9 6 3 8 2 1 7 4 5

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w.sudoku.com

5 Mouseketeer toppers 5 58 Artist’s prop 62 Take forever 65 Boxer’s target 66 Reduce by 50 percent 67 Turkish honorific 68 Employed 69 Resin in adhesives and paints 70 Dog’s bark DOWN 58 or 3 1 Word with# “dive” “five” 9 2 Shaving cream 1 additive 3 King of beasts 2 4 Mythical forest4 5 dwellers Letter that forms a 6 right angle 6 Flowery Hawaiian 5 welcome Invisible, 8 7 indelible and India 7 8 Promotional link

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# 59

Page 15 of 25

3 1 2 6 8 4 7 9 5 Classic 9 2 8 5 7 1 4 6 3 2 4 7 1 3 9 8 5 6

4 5 8 3 2 1 6 7 9

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# 60

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9 3 1 4 7 8 6 5 4 1 8 5 6 9 2 3 8 6 9 2 3 1 7 4 By Melanie Shibley 7 4 3 1 9 5 8 2 3 5 6 7 2 4 9 1 2 9 4 8 5 6 3 7 1 7 2 9 8 3 5 6 5 8 7 6 4 2 1 9 6 2 5 3 1 7 4 8

24 Jul 05


opinion dailycardinal.com

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

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Gun control advocates continue to lack validity JEFF BIRNKRANT opinion columnist

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any people love to oppose guns, as they are our society’s weapon of choice. However, this opposition is rooted in pure fallacy. More than half of the households in the United States own a gun and many people without a weapon feel as if this endangers them or provides an unnecessary threat. On the other side of the argument, one can envision someone in the south in a rocking chair chewing tobacco while holding a 12-guage simply waiting for the first sight of his land being trespassed. This is not exactly a great ideal for what people should think about when looking into gun control. But, as it turns out, you are safer living next to the crazy man in the south than in certain parts of Chicago, New York, Los Angeles and other big cities.

The attention we refuse to pay to the battleground that certain parts of the city have become is grossly underappreciated.

For those of you who took chemistry, I like to use the example of balancing equations. To empower the ordinary citizen with the right to bear arms must equate

to the criminal who obtains the weapon REGARDLESS of any restrictions. Now, when we unbalance that equation so the ordinary citizen is no longer empowered, the facts speak for themselves.

This is how our society has evolved and we should do our best to minimize problems and not increase tension on this issue as President Barack Obama has done.

Washington, D.C., instituted a ban on guns for citizens in 1976, and the results were not what they had hoped for. Ironically, they were just the opposite. Until the Supreme Court eventually reversed the decision, the murder rate had climbed roughly 70 percent in the District. Florida had somewhat of a different experience but similar results. They instituted a Right-to-Carry Law allowing individuals deemed mentally and responsibly competent to carry a handgun. The years that followed showed an estimated 35 percent reduction in murder rates. There is major weight to this argument as more unfortunate tragedies unfold before us. The main example I want to discuss is Chicago. The attention we refuse to pay to the battleground that certain parts of the city have become is grossly underappreciated. As I look at all of the states that allow guns, there’s one in par-

ticular that sticks out. And by one, I mean there is only one state that until 2012 didn’t allow handguns, and that’s Illinois. I see its future changing as the laws begin to change. To think of America as a place without guns, however, is similar to thinking of rainbows and unicorns. This is how our society has evolved and we should do our best to minimize problems and not increase tension on this issue as President Barack Obama has done. To contrast another nation that actually went door-to-door in the collection of weapons, you need to look no further than good old England. Although it is hard to directly compare our two nations (as we have different definitions of what actually constitutes a violent offense), the UK has around 40 percent more violent crimes committed than in the United States. Sounds charming.

To empower the ordinary citizen with the right to bear arms must equate to the criminal who obtains the weapons REGARDLESS of any restrictions.

If that doesn’t do it for you, then maybe this will. Two Harvard criminologists took up the topic of whether our guns are the source of our problems. To borrow from a study published in the Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy titled “A Review of International and some Domestic Evidence”: “Nations

with stringent anti-gun laws generally have substantially higher murder rates than those that do not. The study found that the nine European nations with the lowest rates of gun ownership (5,000 or fewer guns per 100,000 population) have a combined murder rate three times higher than that of the nine nations with the highest rates of gun ownership (at least 15,000 guns per 100,000 population). These findings led criminologists to conclude “No” to the question of ‘Would Banning Firearms Reduce Murder and Suicide?’ As any good topic to research, it always leaves one with more questions, such as, is this more of a problem with our psychology and society than with gun? Or, have we become too closed off from each other that we feel the need to possess a firearm? These overarching questions provide confusion and drive the debate of gun ownership, which I do not see slowing down anytime soon. One certainty is that the American people will not give up their right to bare arms easily. And because I like ending with quotes and being consistent. “In England, if you commit a crime, the police don’t have a gun and you don’t have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say ‘Stop, or I’ll say stop again.”—Robin Williams Gun control is seemingly always at the forefront of controversy in the United States. Do you believe that America has an issue with gun obsession? Do more guns equate to safer public places? Tell us your opinion on the 2nd Amendment and gun ownership. Make sure to send all feedback to opinion@dailycardinal.com

Sochi Olympics plagued by corruption, greed and financial ignorance CHRISTIAN BLATNER opinion columnist

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ave you ever wondered what $1 million could buy? Yeah, of course you have. According to the Barenaked Ladies’ hit song “If I Had $1,000,000,” you could buy an exotic pet (yep, like a llama or an emu) furniture for your house (maybe a nice Chesterfield or an ottoman) or a fur coat (but not a real fur coat, that’s cruel). Now multiply that $1 million figure by 50,000. I’ll save you the trouble of digging out your calculator and accidentally adding an extra zero and inform you that it equals $50 billion. To put that number into perspective, it would take fifty-thousand instances of spending $1 million per day to run out of dough. Now, have you ever wondered what that could buy? Yeah, me neither. But it looks like we have finally found out, at least in Russian terms. Fifty billion buys the 2014 Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia. It buys a ski resort, an Olympic village, sporting arenas and flashy opening and closing ceremonies. As the quadrennial event was set to begin earlier this month, press from around the world flocked to Sochi to chronicle the action. Upon arriving, they were astounded, disgusted, angry and amused at what they saw. Journalists did not meet the extravagant, well-constructed city they may have expected $50 billion to fund. Instead, media members checked into unfinished hotel rooms, broke door handles with just a simple twist, turned on sinks that spewed undrinkable tap water, slept on beds with no pillows, noticed exposed cords hanging above puddled water that dripped from ceilings, among countless other complaints. In sum, the games appeared to be a disaster before they even began.

Despite spending more money than any other country has in order to pay for the costs of hosting the Winter Olympics, trumping Beijing’s $40-billion price tag for the 2008 summer games, Russia seemed noticeably unprepared for this year’s festivities. While the country’s economic prowess has risen to eighth largest in the world, it’s apparent Russia is still well behind other world powers when it comes to efficiency, organization and execution. And that’s not the only issue with the country’s Olympic overindulgence. Tucked into the laundry list of problems taking place within Russian borders is government corruption. Although corruption takes place in even the most democratic of countries (the United States of America), when a government picks up a $50-billlion tab to host the Olympic Games, like Russia did, not only does the country’s image suffer when the event does not go as planned, but the nation’s citizens are also robbed of $50 billion that could have been spent improving health care, social security or defense.

Press from around the world flocked to Sochi to chronicle the action. Upon arriving, they were astounded, disgusted, angry and amused at what they saw.

Yes, hosting the Olympics is a great platform to put a country’s world influence on display, but it is also an opportunity to expose a country’s weaknesses. It is time that nations like China and Russia cut back on Olympic spending. It is time cities such as Sochi, which had few Olympic-ready facilities prior to the games, are not named hosts. Countless times in years past, facili-

ties have been built to hold Olympic events just to be abandoned following the end of competition. Places like Sarajevo, Bosnia— Herzegovina, Japan and China have seen bobsled tracks, ski jumps, hotels, stadiums and other Olympic venues completely deserted.

While the country’s economic prowess has risen to eighth largest in the world, it’s apparent Russia is still well behind other world powers when it comes to efficiency, organization and excecution. All of the money these countries spent, which often came directly from taxpayers’ pockets, was wasted. Sure, these venues served their initial purpose, but shouldn’t they continue to do so for years after so their construction is worth the trouble? Yes, they should and there is a way around this reoccurring conundrum. Often countries host the Olympics in hopes it will not only be economically advantageous in the short run, but also to provide a long-term tourist attraction. Unfortunately, it does not always work out that way, leading to abandoned facilities. U.S. hosts such as Los Angeles (1984 Summer Olympics) and Atlanta (1996 Summer Olympics) have not run into such problems. These cities were already established sports hubs. They already had arenas, hotels and transportation systems in place to handle the task of hosting the Olympics. Of course other facilities had to be constructed in order to hold certain events that may not be as common as others, but L.A. and Atlanta weren’t built for the sole purpose of hosting the Olympic Games. Sochi was.

Prior to 2011, when the Roza Khutor Alpine Resort—the location of this year’s Winter Games ski and snowboard events—was completed, the Russian city had virtually no previously-built structures capable of hosting the Olympics. While the resort’s construction may appear to be a good investment that will pay off for Russia, there is still the looming uncertainty of its possible abandonment. The International Olympic Committee needs to prevent this uncertainty by restricting hosts to cities that are already stable environments to hold such an event, like L.A. or Atlanta. It is the responsibility of the members of this group to choose the most capable and prepared host. The Committee should not only make its decision in the best interests of the Olympic Games as whole, but in the best interests of the countries who are vying for the opportunity. There should be guidelines set in place so cities like Sochi aren’t forced to build a ski resort, hotels and stadiums, spending an unimaginable amount of money in the process, while risking the facilities’ potential desertion down the line. The Olympics is an event that, through sports, brings the entire world together once every two years. And in order for the event to be made worth while for the world as a whole, the IOC needs to reconsider its host-choosing methods in the years to come. Do you agree with Christian’s plan to alter the IOC’s Olympic host selection process? What do you think about the preparation for Sochi? Should under-prepared cities be picked to host Olympic Games in the future? Will issues like that in Sochi arise for the 2016 Olympic Games in Brazil? Let us know how you feel by emailing opinion@dailycardinal.com.


Sports

TUESDAY FEBRUARY 18, 2014 DAILYCARDINAL.COM

Softball

2014 Badger softball season preview Compiled by Andrew Tucker and Zach Rastall

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hile Madison is as cold and snowy as ever, the softball team is heating up, spending its last two weekends in the Sunshine State to open up their 2014 season. In the University of South Florida-Wilson DeMarini Classic, the Badgers (4-5) played four games

over the weekend (Feb. 7-9), posting wins over Bethune Cookman (1-9) and Illinois State (3-6). Wisconsin also faced No. 3 Florida (11-0) twice, losing both times. Last weekend in the Florida International University Classic, the Badgers went 2-3 with a loss to Georgia Southern (6-3) and

split their series with both Florida International (8-3) and Florida Gulf Coast (6-4-1). The Badgers don’t take the field again until the end of February in the Texas A&M Invitational. The weekend’s opponents include Texas A&M, Texas A&M Corpus Christi and Connecticut.

Big Ten outlook—watch out for Michigan and Nebraska

SHOAIB ALTAF/CARDINAL FILE PHOTO

While the South is generally a hotbed for softball talent, this year’s Big Ten conference has its share of contenders. When it comes to the conference championship, there are two teams that seem to be headed towards contention: Michigan and Nebraska. No. 4 Michigan (7-2) will look to grab its seventh consecutive Big Ten title and their 23rd NCAA Tournament berth in the last 24 years under coach Carol Hutchins. The Wolverines return six starting position players, four of which were All-Big Ten last season. Sophomore shortstop Sierra Lawrence is the reigning Big Ten Player of the Year. Michigan also returns two All-Big Ten pitchers, junior Sara Driesenga and junior Haylie Wagner.

No. 8 Nebraska (7-2) looks to win their first Big Ten title after joining the conference in 2011. The Cornhuskers return with senior All-American catcher Taylor Edwards, as well as her twin, Big Ten Pitcher of the Year Tatum Edwards and six other All-Big Ten players. The team also looks toward a talented freshman class to give their outfield a boost. Fringe conference championship contender No. 22 Minnesota (8-1) looks to rely on the return of three All-Big Ten players to contend with Nebraska and Michigan. The Badgers look to keep trending upwards in the Big Ten under coach Yvette Healy. Before her arrival, the team bounced around the bottom of the conference for much of the 2000s, but

NBA All Star game needs to be revamped for fans to stay engaged JACK BAER baer necessities

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he National Basketball Association All-Star game is boring. Even a big comeback and close game couldn’t save the event from playing to a stereotype of the NBA as a league high on star power but low on real competition. No one believes that when you bring together the NBA’s best players, 318 total points scored is a natural result. Instead, that gaudy number comes from the players’ total lack of incentive to play defense or work as a team.

Make a player fully responsible for the perception of his performance and he will try a lot harder.

It feels like there’s an implicit agreement between the two teams to allow each other to do whatever they want on offense and show off their high-flying talents. That’s just not compelling television. Not many people like the NBA enough to think 48 minutes of the NBA’s best screwing around is something worth watching. Even Nick Cannon, the host

of the weekend’s ceremonies, seemed bored out of his mind. As it stands, the NBA AllStar game cannot function as a regulation NBA game. Putting stars into a game that means nothing ruins the incentives that create compelling basketball games. The reward of the playoffs, gone. The risk of getting benched by a coach for abandoning defense, gone. The reward of a max contract down the road, gone. None of these exist in the NBA All-Star game. This isn’t unique to basketball, though —looking at you Pro Bowl. By general consensus, the best all-star game is and always has been Major League Baseball’s. This is thanks to the simple nature of baseball as an individual competition masquerading as a team sport. If a player doesn’t want to try, the total lack of effort is much more visible as he strikes out, misses a catch, or gets a center-cut fastball smashed into the upper deck. No pitcher is going to lob in 70 mph fastballs even if he believes the other pitcher would do the same. So how does the NBA fix this? How is it possible to introduce the individual responsibility that drives baseball, even for a game that means effectively nothing? Here’s an immodest proposal: change the game completely. Forget five-on-five, NBA rules. Transform the all-

star game into a two-on-two tournament. Take the top six vote receivers of each conference, and let them pick another player from a pool of the next six vote-receivers.

Not many people like the NBA enough to think 48 minutes of the NBA’s best screwing around is something worth watching.

Give the teams with the top four players a first round bye. Have each matchup play for 10 minutes with a 20-second shot clock. Standing as one of four players on the court, an NBA player is a lot more likely to focus the same way as a baseball player stepping up to the plate against Clayton Kershaw: with a fear of humiliation and a lot of focus. I’m guessing that if it were Kevin Durant and Chris Paul versus LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony, there aren’t going to be a lot of uncontested dunks. Make a player fully responsible for the perception of his performance and he will try a lot harder than in a five-one-five game with virtually no reward. Did I mention that everyone in the world would watch this? Would you like an original Nintendo 64 NBA Jam-style All-Star tournament, or do you like the All-Star game the way it is? Email jfbaer@wisc. edu to let Jack know.

in 2011, Healy’s first year, the team improved to sixth. They finished sixth again in 2012, and jumped up to fourth after the regular season last year, eventually winning the Big Ten Tournament. They also made it to the NCAA Regional round for the first time since 2005. The Badgers return two All-Big Ten players, including senior pitcher Cassandra Darrah, who has gotten off to a hot start again this season. She has five complete games in as many starts, with an ERA of 2.12. While these teams look to continue their dominance, other Big Ten squads have come close to upsetting tough teams, including Michigan State’s (2-5) one run loss to No. 7 Oklahoma (6-4). The conference schedule is anything but decided.

SHOAIB ALTAF/CARDINAL FILE PHOTO

Players to watch for this season Cassandra Darrah, senior pitcher

One of the biggest reasons for the Badgers’ unprecedented success in 2013 was the outstanding play by pitcher Cassandra Darrah. Last year, Darrah put together one of the most impressive individual seasons in UW softball history, going 27-7 with a 1.82 ERA and 172 strikeouts. She set the UW single-season record for winning percentage (.794), and even tossed a no-hitter against Georgia Southern, the Badgers’ first no-hitter in 12 years.

game to a new level in the early stages of the 2014 season. Through nine games, Van Abel leads the Badgers in several offensive categories, including batting average (.464), hits (13) and stolen bases (6). Her career batting average of .361 trails only senior outfielder Mary Massei in the UW record books. She could shatter the singleseason record for batting average if she continues to hit at the torrid pace she has been.

Mary Massei, senior outfielder

In 2013, Mary Massei not only had the best season of her collegiate career, she had one of the best seasons in Wisconsin softball history. Massei set SHOAIB ALTAF/CARDINAL FILE PHOTO single-season records In the Big Ten Tournament, for batting she was named MVP after pitch- average (.421), at-bats (195), ing all 21 innings in the Badgers’ slugging percentage (.672), three victories with a 1.67 ERA. OPS (1.156), runs (51), hits (82) With 68 career victories, and total bases (131). Darrah already ranks second She also owns the highest all-time in wins at UW, and career batting average (.367) she will undoubtedly be play- and on-base percentage (.432) ing inspired softball in her in Badger history. final season at Madison. While Massei hasn’t been setting any records for her Maria Van Abel, power, her home runs tend to junior outfielder come in the biggest moments Though her performance in of the game, including walk-off 2013 was nothing to scoff at, home runs against Notre Dame Maria Van Abel has taken her and Ohio State in 2013.


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