Thursday, March 4, 2010 - The Daily Cardinal by The Daily Cardinal

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Thursday, March 4, 2010

Urban Design Commission debates signage at new Target By Taylor Curley The Daily Cardinal

The city Urban Design Commission discussed signs both in and outside of a proposed Target store at Hilldale Mall Wednesday. Other issues raised were traffic lanes, the width of the sidewalk and the plaza entrance to the store. The committee was primarily concerned with a wall mural on the front entrance of the store. Target proposed the idea of using the entry wall for placing a large graphic, yet the committee viewed it as a billboard and pressed the limiting of its size. “We don’t want the logo of Target jumping out from the sign, rather, we want an actual design portrayed,” committee member Jay Ferm said. Target representatives and committee members discussed the importance of the sign, coming to an agreement that the graphic will reflect the “prevalent family definition in graphics.” Monument signs directing customers to the store were also criticized. “The signs are too close to the sidewalk and too big,” Ferm said. “We don’t want them to interfere with pedestrians.” The proposal set forth by Target was eventually approved under certain conditions: Target must make their crosswalks bigger and provide access ramps to all of the bike areas. The monument signs will likely receive their final decision in an upcoming meeting. The committee also discussed the demolition of existing structures along 430-432 W. Dayton St. and replacing them with a two-unit apartment building. The floor plan of the new building currently includes five bedrooms, a garage stall, bike storage and a balcony. The committee concluded with initial approval of the site, pending a final approval because the site has not yet presented all necessary materials to the committee.

Waisman Center to host Dalai Lama at re-opening ceremony The fourteenth Dalai Lama will be in Madison May 15-16 for the grandreopening celebration of UW-Madison’s Waisman Center’s remodeled Center for Investigating Healthy Minds. The CIHM studies the development of healthy qualities of the mind, such as happy and compassionate emotions, and how to cultivate these developments in children and adults. Richard Davidson, a UW-Madison neuroscientist who established the center, studies the effects of meditation on cultivating these emotions. The Dalai Lama has worked with Davidson on his research in the past, last visiting Davidson’s lab in 2001. The Dalai Lama and Davidson will speak together at 2:15 p.m. on Sunday, May 16 at the Overture Center for the Arts. For ticket information, visit http:// www.investigatinghealthyminds.org.

isabel ÁLVAREZ/the daily cardinal

Chancellor Biddy Martin, along with several other UW-Madison campus community members, spoke at a rally on Library Mall Wednesday held in response to an online Holocaust-denial advertisement. Video of the rally is available at dailycardinal.com.

Holocaust-denial ad draws protest By Ryan Hebel The Daily Cardinal

More than 100 UW-Madison students rallied at Library Mall Wednesday afternoon in response to a recent controversy surrounding a Holocaust-denying advertisement placed on The Badger Herald’s website. “We’re here today because of remembrance, and remembrance of the Holocaust in particular,” Chancellor Biddy Martin said at the rally. “Memory is a way of honoring the victims, the innocent victims of this criminal murder. A murder about which there can be absolutely no doubt.” UW graduate Abram Shanedling said that, as a former journalism and political science student, he was upset by the Herald’s decision to run

the ad in the name of free speech. “Providing a platform for the denial of such a genocide gives legitimacy to a mangled view of our past that we all know is false and is deeply hurtful to our university family,” Shanedling said. “Denying the Holocaust, and thus implying some sort of Jewish mass conspiracy, is a dishonor to academic principles, to history, and most importantly, to the memory of millions of innocent lost souls.” A response article last week from Herald Editor-in-Chief Jason Smathers defended allowing the ad on First Amendment grounds and said the revenue it generated would be donated to countering the Holocaust-denial movement. “The basis of these decisions does not rest on a desire to collect

money for these advertisements, but on the editorial principle that no opinions or assertions can be so offensive that we cannot bring ourselves to hear them. If we run from manifestly vitriolic, destructive and false arguments when they present themselves, they will continue to roam and perhaps proliferate,” Smathers wrote. Simone Schweber, a UW professor of Education and Jewish Studies, said the Badger Herald staff “made a mistake” in running the ad, regardless of their intentions. “It’s a mistake to let that advertisement remain on the Badger Herald’s website for the rest of its run,” she said. “It’s a mistake to allow its seemingly academic call for open debate on the Holocaust stand unchallenged, to seem legiti-

mate or go undenied.” Andrea Steinberger, a rabbi at UW’s Hillel Foundation, said the campus must also challenge its more implicit cultural stereotypes, such as using the term “coastie” as an attack on Jewish students. “Is that what we, here at our beloved University of Wisconsin, want to be known for? For how we refer to our fellow Jewish students?” Hillel Director Greg Steinberger concluded the rally by asking students “to participate in a constructive conversation … so that we can take a bitter pill and turn it into precious nectar.” Hillel and the Office of the Dean of Students will cosponsor a discussion on journalism sensitivity and ethics Thursday from 4-6 p.m. in Bascom Hall Room 272.

City assesses possibility of Google Fiber proposal By Beth Pickhard The Daily Cardinal

Members of Madison’s Economic Development Committee discussed possible benefits of Google’s broadband Internet experiment for the city of Madison Wednesday night. Last month, Google announced it would select one or more areas to provide ultra-high speed Internet access through a program called Google Fiber. According to Google, participant pools may range from 50,000 to 500,000 depending on their decision. Google Fiber Internet access would be more than 100 times faster than the average household. According to Paul Kronberger, information technology director for the city of Madison, investment costs from Google may be as much as $97 million. He said there would be the potential to create hundreds of new jobs. Kronberger said Madison

might look attractive to Google because it recently became involved in Metropolitan Unified Fiber Network, a nearly $6 million federal grant program establishing a collaborative fiber-optic network in the Madison area. “We think Madison is a great profile for this, but we ultimately don’t know what our chances are,” he said. UW-Madison, the Madison metropolitan school district and area businesses have expressed interest, according to Kronberger. Additionally, committee member Matthew Younkle said there has been an enthusiastic reaction to Google Fiber from the community. “There clearly is a lot of support and a lot of excitement about this initiative,” Younkle said. “There are a lot of people who really want to help out.” Committee members agreed the decision is hard to determine because

Google’s criteria is not detailed and their decision date is unknown. “We want to try to channel this energy somehow, but we don’t

know how to,” he said. There will be a public meeting late next week to gain input on the potential project from Madison residents.

photo illustration by isabel Álvarez

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

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tODAY: sunny hi 38º / lo 22º

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Thursday, March 4, 2010

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892

Death of English major slow, metaphorical

Volume 119, Issue 100

2142 Vilas Communication Hall 821 University Avenue Madison, Wis., 53706-1497 (608) 262-8000 l fax (608) 262-8100

News and Editorial edit@dailycardinal.com Editor in Chief Charles Brace Managing Editor Ryan Hebel Campus Editor Kelsey Gunderson City Editor Grace Urban State Editor Hannah Furfaro Enterprise Editor Hannah McClung Associate News Editor Ashley Davis Senior News Reporters Alison Dirr Ariel Shapiro Robert Taylor Opinion Editor Anthony Cefali Todd Stevens Arts Editors Katie Foran-McHale Jacqueline O’Reilly Sports Editors Scott Kellogg Nico Savidge Page Two Editor Kevin Slane Features Editor Madeline Anderson Life and Style Editor Ben Pierson Photo Editors Isabel Álvarez Danny Marchewka Graphics Editors Caitlin Kirihara Natasha Soglin Multimedia Editor Jenny Peek Editorial Board Chair Jamie Stark Copy Chiefs Anna Jeon Kyle Sparks Justin Stephani Jake VIctor Copy Editors Alison Bauter, Jessie Bell, Kathleen Bronson, Lauren Hodkiewicz, Lauren Kelly

Business and Advertising business@dailycardinal.com Business Manager Cole Wenzel Advertising Manager Katie Brown Accounts Receivable Manager Michael Cronin Billing Manager Mindy Cummings Senior Account Executive Ana Devcic Account Executives Mara Greenwald Kristen Lindsay, D.J. Nogalski, Sarah Schupanitz Graphic Designer Mara Greenwald Web Director Eric Harris Marketing Director Mia Beeson Archivist Erin Schmidtke The Daily Cardinal is published weekdays and distributed at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and its surrounding community with a circulation of 10,000. The Daily Cardinal is a nonprofit organization run by its staff members and elected editors. It receives no funds from the university. Operating revenue is generated from advertising and subscription sales. Capital Newspapers, Inc. is the Cardinal’s printer. The Daily Cardinal is printed on recycled paper. The Cardinal is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press and the Wisconsin Newspaper Association. All copy, photographs and graphics appearing in The Daily Cardinal are the sole property of the Cardinal and may not be reproduced without written permission of the editor in chief. The Daily Cardinal accepts advertising representing a wide range of views. This acceptance does not imply agreement with the views expressed. The Cardinal reserves the right to reject advertisements judged offensive based on imagery, wording or both. Complaints: News and editorial complaints should be presented to the editor in chief. Business and advertising complaints should be presented to the business manager. Letters Policy: Letters must be typewritten, double-spaced and no longer than 200 words, including contact information. Letters may be sent to letters@dailycardinal.com.

Editorial Board Charles Brace Anthony Cefali Kathy Dittrich Ryan Hebel Nico Savidge Jamie Stark Todd Stevens Justin Stephani l

Board of Directors Vince Filak Cole Wenzel Joan Herzing Jason Stein Jeff Smoller Janet Larson Chris Long Charles Brace Katie Brown Benjamin Sayre Jenny Sereno Terry Shelton Melissa Anderson l

For the record Corrections or clarifications? Call The Daily Cardinal office at 608-262-8000 or send an e-mail to edit@dailycardinal.com.

friDAY: sunny hi 38º / lo 22º

jon spike academic misjonduct

eah, I’m an English major. Oh, good one. A book snob joke. Does your deadbeat auto mechanic uncle write all your jokes for you? Haha, a crack about my outfit. Yeah, so I’m wearing a turtleneck sweater and drinking tea. LOTS OF PEOPLE WEAR THIS. IT’S CALLED HAVING DIGNITY, ASS. Oh yeah, Mr. Civil Engineering Major? Oh, look at me, I design roads and such. I got news for you, man. You can’t build roads, man. You gotta make your own roads in life... metaphorically! You know, go where there is no road and make a trail and stuff. You’d know this if you studied Emerson as much as I have. Don’t you laugh either, Mr. PreMed hotshot. How about you keep objectifying the human body some more? Don’t you see? The human body is an artwork, man. It’s not a bunch of veins and arteries that can be manipulated for “science.” You sicken me with your “research” and “lifesaving.” If anything, you’re saving lives but taking souls. And us English majors know that souls are the only part of the body that matters. Well, that and genitalia. What

else are feminist poets going to write metaphorically about? Not a real major, eh? Liberal Arts is a joke, huh? WE’RE EVALUATING AND APPLYING SOCIAL COMMENTARY. DOES THIS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?! I AM JUDGING YOU RIGHT NOW, AND YOU SMELL LIKE THAT SO-CALLED “APPLICABLE KNOWLEDGE” I KEEP HEARING SO MUCH ABOUT. AS SOME FRENCH POET YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF ONCE SAID, “LE E’TAT F’NIE MONFRIER.” TRANSLATION: EAT A DICK. I’VE READ TEN NOVELS THIS SEMESTER, PAL! THAT’S PROBABLY MORE THAN YOU’VE READ IN YOUR LIFE. AND NO, “WOMEN PEELING AND EATING BANANAS MAGAZINE” DOES NOT COUNT AS A BOOK. MY FINAL EXAM WAS A TAKEHOME ESSAY, WHICH WAS WAY HARDER THAN YOUR ORGANIC CHEMISTRY OR ZOOLOGY EXAM. OH, LOOK AT THE PANDA! IT HAS HOOVES OR SOME SHIT! I WANNA BE A MARINE BIOLOGIST AND TOUCH WHALES FOR A LIVING! Oh, I won’t get a REAL job in this world? That’s because I don’t buy into your capitalistic ideals of “jobs” and “employment” and “showering daily.”

As Melville’s Bartleby the Scrivener once said, “I’d prefer not” to do any job the capitalistic pigs have created to control brilliant creative minds such as my own. No, I belong somewhere important, judging famous watercolor paintings or editing a magazine dedicated to haiku about avante garde existentialism. I’ll leave the gas pump to you, sir. What’s that? My English major is a waste of thousands of dollars? Ha! That’s like telling Thoreau his night in jail wasn’t worth the time! YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND MY GENIUS. I WRITE POETRY ABOUT GENITALIA, BUT YOU WOULDN’T REALIZE IT BECAUSE I USE METAPHORS, ONOMATOPOEIA AND OTHER LITERARY DEVICES TO HIDE THE SEXUAL REFERENCES. DID SHAKESPEARE EVER WORK THE MCDONALD’S WALK-UP AT THREE IN THE MORNING TO PAY FOR HIS BUDDING THEATRE GROUP? DID KURT VONNEGUT DRAW PENISES ON ALL OF THE PICTURES IN HIS HISTORY TEXTBOOK BEFORE WRITING “SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE”? DID EMILY DICKINSON OR SYLVIA PLATH PUT OUT IN HIGH SCHOOL? THESE ARE THE THINGS WE SHOULD BE ASKING OURSELVES, PEOPLE!

(A brief struggle, Jon gets put in handcuffs by policeman). Wait, why are you arresting me? Oh, I get it. It’s because I’m completely naked in public. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU SIMPLETONS? DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND MY VISION? DON’T YOU GET THE SOCIAL COMMENTARY? I’M LASHING OUT AT THE CONFORMIST RITUAL OF “CLOTHING” THAT ALL OF YOU PRE-MEDS, ENGINEERS AND MATHEMATICIANS SEEM SO CRAZY ABOUT. I AM IBSEN’S MAN AGAINST SOCIETY. I AM THOREAU’S CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE! I AM EMERSON’S SELF RELIANCE! I AM... BEING BEATEN UNCONSCIOUS BY THESE BILLY CLUBS! IF THIS ISN’T A METAPHOR FOR THE ESTABLISHMENT’S OPPRESSION PLACED ON ITS OWN PEOPLE, I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS! (Jon passes out after repeated blows to the head from Madison Police Officers to get him to shut up about writers who died hundreds of years ago who no one cares about.) Would you like Jon to be more pretentious and snobby in his future columns? Neither would we. But send comments anyway to spike@wisc.edu

New Beer Thursday O’So Brewing Company Night Train Porter O’So Brewing Company’s Night Train is incredibly candid. The minimalist label outlines the tastes to come, guiding your palate with mainstay descriptors like “complex” and “bold” as well as more esoteric ones like “chewy” and “judicious.” What kind of experience do you get from Night Train? A pleasant surprise, you get more than what’s advertised. The words on the bottle describe the ideal porter. A great porter has a sweetness unknown to other beers because of the immense amount of caramel used in the brewing process. Night Train has a slight head that paints the top a mysterious, dark mocha color. It’s an inviting sight that complements the full-bodied darkness of the beer. The smell of a standard-

issue porter, indicating an ardent flavor, permeates the experience. Like other porters, Night Train is gluttonous. Night Train is a more affable liquid cheeseburger that wants to make a name for itself. At first sip, it’s easy to compare it to Anchor Brewing Co.’s glorious porter: Both are rich in flavor and aroma, suppressing the hoppiness underneath complex flavors. But with a little patience, the Train’s true nature emerges in the form of a nice smoky aftertaste that lingers just enough to make an impact. This little twist sets Night Train apart from being just a good porter, though there is nothing wrong with that Unlike the porter’s counterpart the stout, warmth does little for

Night Train. Night Train is a cold beer best served on a really cold day, preferably closer to the holidays rather than springtime. It’s taste complements the minimalism of its aesthetics. But then Night Train starts chugging along, picking up speed and eventually distinguishing itself precisely by being exactly what you want in a porter, replete with subtle variations that round out the experience. Best served: In a pint glass, straight out of the refrigerator.

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Silver Belles

The Daily Cardinal

danny marchewka/the daily cardinal

Senate OKs mental health background checks for gun registration in new bill State residents may face increased background checks when purchasing firearms if a bill that passed the state Senate Tuesday makes it through the Legislature. The bill requires the Wisconsin Department of Justice to provide mental health information to the federal government that may render individuals ineligible for purchase or possession of a firearm. The information would be provided only for use in background checks. “It’s providing that nexus so that information is provided from our Consolidated Court Automation Programs system to that federal background check,” Michael Bruhn, spokesperson for state Rep. Scott Gunderson, R-Waterford, said. The Senate bill complies with current federal law—the federal government instituted a national regulation on gun ownership after the 2007 Virginia Tech

shootings—and requires the DOJ to conduct background checks that follow federal regulations regarding mental illness and gun ownership. Individuals who are checked will have either been committed to a mental health institution involuntarily or ruled mentally defective by a court. Bruhn said the law would not significantly affect people who were already deemed ineligible to possess or own a firearm. “We’re not taking away any rights,” Bruhn said. “These people already shouldn’t be purchasing or possessing a firearm under federal law.” The bill was first proposed during the previous legislative session and now moves to the state Assembly. Bruhn said if the legislation does not pass, the state is likely to lose a portion of the yearly federal crime prevention grant. —Alison Dirr

Decision delayed in expulsion meeting for lawmaker Wood By Ariel Shapiro

Former Badger hockey teammates Meghan Duggan, Hilary Knight, Erika Lawler and Jessie Vetter showed off their Olympic hardware Wednesday.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

news

The decision on state Rep. Jeffrey Wood’s, I-Chippewa Falls, potential expulsion from the state Assembly was delayed Wednesday after his primary critic failed to show up to the committee hearing. State Rep. Steve Nass, R-Whitewater, sent in a written testimony stating, “Mr. Wood’s repeated dangerous conduct by driving impaired and being arrested three times in less than a WOOD year, and two previous convictions prior to his service in the Assembly, warrant his expulsion from the Wisconsin State Assembly.” Both state Rep. Mary Hubler, D-Rice Lake, and state Rep.

Tony Staskunas, D-West Allis, said they were disappointed with Nass’s absence from the hearing. Hubler said she would schedule another hearing, which she hopes Nass will attend. Wood told the committee that, though his actions in the past were dangerous and irresponsible, he is still fit to serve his constituency. “Through counseling and some changes I have made … my mind is clearer than it has been in a decade, and I believe that I can represent my constituents well,” Wood said. Wood, who pledged not to run in 2010, followed his statement by apologizing for the disappointment he caused the members of his district. Nass said Wood should be expelled regardless of his decision to not seek re-election. Wood said an expulsion nine months before the end of his term is not the answer. “If I’m removed from office,

whether it’s by expulsion, resignation or recall, my constituents would likely have no representation until the end of the term,” Wood said. “They’ve spoken, and that’s not what they want.”

“My mind is clearer than it has been in a decade, and I believe that I can represent my constituents well.” Jeffrey Wood state assembly I-Chippewa Falls

Hubler said she has more questions for Nass and will wait to proceed with the expulsion process until he can be crossexamined. Wood apologized for embarrassing his constituents but said he can “set an example of how you overcome your obstacles instead of letting them defeat you.”

Gilman Street alleged assault suspect charged A 22-year-old man who, according to a police report, broke into an apartment on Gilman Street Wednesday and assaulted the 47-year-old resident with a knife is being tentatively charged with seconddegree attempted homicide. According to the police report, Reinaldo Garcia broke into the apartment at 1:30 a.m.

looking for the victim because of an ongoing dispute between the two men. Garcia allegedly cut the victim’s leg before the two men fought in the apartment and outside in an alley. The suspect fled on foot when police arrived. However after a short chase ensued, an officer used a taser

on the suspect and took him into custody. The suspect and victim were taken to the hospital with nonlife threatening injuries. Garcia has also been charged with possession of drugs and drug paraphernalia after drugs were allegedly found in his pockets and backpack, according to the report.

opinion Gov’t should divorce itself from marriage 4

JAMIE STARK opinion columnist

dailycardinal.com/opinion

Thursday, March 4, 2010

conservative friend recently came out to me as a lover of human rights, claiming gay marriage was a “human rights issue.” To me, this was a sign that our generation will make equality inevitable. I was raised by a friendly pack of Republicans in Catholicsville, USA. My church, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, despite being the most liberal Lutheran synod, only recently opened the ministry to openly gay pastors in a committed relationship. Culturally, the gay marriage issue has caused some personal squirming and discomfort. But the inequality that exists in our country, and our state, today is much more uncomfortable. Without Gov. Jim Doyle’s efforts, Wisconsin would not be the ﬁrst state in the midwest to pass legislation enacting legal protec-

tions for same-sex couples. Unequal rights for homosexuals are not the only social disparities plaguing our society today. But the truth is, certain legal rights are denied to committed homosexual couples yet given to committed heterosexual couples. Most committed gay couples still don’t have joint parental and adoption rights or next-of-kin status for hospital visits and medical decisions.

The only thing government should sanction is a legal bond.

This country needs national legislation offering civil unions with equal rights to all committed couples, relinquishing the power to define marriage to religious institutions.

Individual churches can still decide to marry homosexual couples, but won’t be obligated to. Equally importantly, government will cease exercising an intense conflict of interest in its definition of a highly religious institution. The only thing government should sanction is a legal bond. Endorsing a spiritual bond violates the Establishment clause. Both church and state will benefit if government divorces itself from marriage. The government would no longer be unconstitutionally denying Americans equal rights based on personal preferences, and religious institutions will retain autonomy they should be done fighting for. Currently, marriage is a legal institution some people are forbidden to enter based on who they are. Such legislation is arbitrary and hostile legislation. Exchanging civil union certificates for marriage certificates isn’t taking marriage away from everyone, but reserving it for the institutions that defined marriage far before the U.S. government attempted to. Perhaps the biggest obstacle to passing national legislation to establish equal civil unions would be semantic complaints. It would take a while for people to warm up to the new term “civil union.” The phrase has been associated with the second-class marriages of homosexuals. But this is a simple fix to a complex problem. As a secular democracy, we can-

not legislate or define relationships based off a particular group’s interpretation of their preferred Holy Book. Separation of church and state benefits both institutions. Individual religious institutions have the right to determine who they marry and how they define marriage. To fully allow churches and other religious organizations to define their own sacred institutions, government’s power to define marriage must be removed.

What will our grandchildren think of our generation if we continue to deny equal legal status to our neighbors?

Such a plan is imperfect—conflicting definitions would still exist between differing religious groups. But those separate groups would not be forced to operate under a government that appears to define marriage for them. Many religious institutions already exercise more specific definitions of marriage than the government. The Catholic Church can disapprove of re-marriage after a divorce that has not been annulled. Such strictness is the Church’s prerogative. Many members approve of the rigidity, believing it strengthens the meaning of their own marriage.

Taking marriage seriously is never a bad thing. Insert your own Tiger Woods joke here. Any couple who desires could get married by a religious organization. More secular-minded individuals could choose between an official ceremony with a justice of the peace or a simple certificate signing with an official witness. The state’s only obligation should be to provide civil unions with equal rights, privileges, and the almighty tax breaks to all committed couples who ask for one. Big Brother can’t afford to put off such changes. What will our grandchildren think of our generation if we continue to deny equal legal status to our neighbors? Our culture frequently condemns inequalities among genders or cultural groups abroad. We need to treat our own citizens fairly, or become Uncle Hypocrite. For a country founded on personal freedom and individual liberty, it should be surprising we are behind the curve in granting equal legal status to committed gay couples. Countries like Canada and Spain are beating us. When Mounties and the home of the Spanish Inquisition are better at respecting equal rights, we need to rethink our policies. Repealing the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as between a man and a woman, would just be the first step in removing government definitions of marriage. Such changes may not happen soon, but they should. We can’t continue depriving Americans of basic rights and making pastors agents of the government. Jamie Stark is a sophomore majoring in journalism and political science. Please send all feedback to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

Today in The Daily Cardinal’s opinion blog, The Soapbox, Anthony Cefali opines on Scott Walker and his lack of understanding of basic economics. Check out this and other political commentary at www. dailycardinal. com and click on “The Soapbox”

arts

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Thursday, March 4, 2010

Herzog’s style free of conventions DAN SULLIVAN sullivan’s travels

Oscar shorts preview The Daily Cardinal Arts Staffers take you through each of the Academy Award Nominated Animated and Live Action Shorts in preparation for Sunday’s award show. PHOTO COURTESY BROWN BAG FILMS

This year’s shorts include a terrifyingly vain grandmother, a murderous Ronald McDonald, a plastic fish who can describe your character and a sloppy magician in training, just to name a few.

ANIMATED “French Roast” Despite being set in a Parisian coffee shop, fluency in French is unnecessary to gather that the protagonist of “French Roast” is an uptight jerk. He blithely ignores both the server waiting on him and the beggar tapping at his table for change. But when he discovers he has forgotten his wallet, his morning with the finance section becomes a waiting game as he continues to order coffee, proudly refusing to admit that he cannot pay for it. Part commentary on the pride of the upper-middle class, part sitcom scenario, “French Roast” plays on the desperation people can have to keep up appearances, often to the point of wackiness. —Mark Riechers “Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty” The set-up seems harmless and familiar: a grandmother offers to tell her young, apparently frightened granddaughter a bedtime story. However, we realize this grandma isn’t the kind who would make you cookies and tuck you in, but rather implant her fear of aging into the classic fairytale “Sleeping Beauty” in a mildly disturbing way. Though it’s filled with a few randomly funny moments—the mere fact that mentioning “Sleeping Beauty” terrifies the child, the grandma’s constant and inappropriate laughter and editing the story as she tells it are just a few of the short film’s quirks with perhaps too much energy. —Katie Foran-McHale

ent advertising, the film stars the Michelin Men as foul-mouthed cops chasing after Ronald McDonald, a psychopathic killer who’s apparently sick of children, particularly Big Boy. If cartoon carnage doesn’t send you hurtling to YouTube to find these potentially illegal parodies—where the film is rarely posted long due to the filmmaker’s ironic copyright complaints—it also features Director David Fincher as a lewd Pringles Man, an effeminate Mr. Clean and a partially censored Jolly Green Giant. The film is essentially a basic gangster narrative with some Quentin Tarantino-esque lines between the Michelin mascots, but that’s just as well since few will notice more than its dazzling audacity upon first viewing. —Ryan Hebel “A Matter of Loaf and Death” Wallace and his dog, Gromit, are now bakery owners who deliver bread. The companions get tied up with a murder mystery when someone begins to murder all the bakeries in town and it looks like Wallace could be next. It is up to Gromit to save Wallace, who is so in love with his girlfriend, Piella, that he doesn’t even realize he’s in danger. Wallace and Gromit are usually favorites and this year is no exception. After the success of the fulllength movie “Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit,” audience expectations are higher than ever for the Nick Parks’ series. — Brandi Stone

LIVE ACTION

“The Lady and the Reaper” The inﬂuence of Chuck Jones on animation is unparalleled and unmeasurable; his hand can be seen everywhere in modern animation. But some wear that inﬂuence on their sleeve more than others, such as Spanish nominee “The Lady and the Reaper.” The tale features a Looney Toons-style battle between the Grim Reaper trying to take an elderly woman’s soul and the egotistical doctor trying to save her. Unfortunately, other than some quirky touches, like the hellhound Cerberus depicted as a poodle, “Reaper” lacks much of the charm of Jones’ work. Without the emotional resonance of work from Pixar or even Dreamworks, a simple frolicking adventure with a gag or two just isn’t enough. —Todd Stevens

“The Door” “The Door” achieves a lot of story in a short amount of time by leaving the audience constantly wondering. Why is the protagonist stealing a door from the house he claims to live in? Why would someone be shooting at him to stop him? The small amount of information we have to go on inches the plot forward—in a ﬂashback, a radio blares in Russian to warn “comrades” that a serious accident has occurred nearby, and that nothing could be taken with them. A hurried evacuation of families in housecoats with frightened looks of confusion, as they too attempt to ﬁgure out what the hell is going on. The mystery unfolds into a sad memory of a tragic event, and the journey makes it all the more emotional and poignant. —Mark Riechers

“Logorama” Three French directors take product placement to unﬂattering extremes in “Logorama,” a hilariously brash allegory on corporate culture. Set in a world of omnipres-

“Instead of Abracadabra” Director and screenwriter Patrik Eklund presents a story of a magician grappling with his skills, parents and love. After his parents forbid him from practicing magic after an

incident involving a sword hitting his mother as part of a trick (luckily, with no injuries). The young magician continues to try to prove his worth through practice. His act is generally well received by children, but only after moments of terror when they worry for the safety of an animal used for the trick. Though his parents disapprove of his seemingly juvenile career, they eventually come to terms with his idiosyncrasies as he finds a new romance. —Katie Foran-McHale “Kavi” Set in India, Director Gregg Helvey shows the life of a child slave over a several-day period. Kavi, the child slave, yearns for an education and to play cricket. Instead, he is forced to work at a kiln, making and moving bricks. He is regularly beaten by his superiors, and is ultimately chained to a house as his family is taken away. Though he is eventually rescued, the film shows the horrors of child slavery and offers an alarming statistic concerning worldwide modern-day slavery in the credits. —Katie Foran-McHale “The New Tenants” Dark humor is like dark chocolate, people either love it or find it to be far too bitter. Sprinkled in dashes it can be palatable to most, but “The New Tenants” uses it as almost the sole ingredient. Featuring Jamie Harrold and David Rakoff as a gay couple who recently moved into the world’s most murderous apartment building, the tenants are forced to deal with an angry cuckolded husband (Vincent D’Onofrio), a mishandled cinnamon buns recipe, a drug dealer looking for some missing heroin (Kevin Corrigan), and a pair of triple homicides, all in twenty minutes. “The New Tenants” is darker than a funeral wake, but it’s presented with such incredulity that for fans of the macabre should be fully satisfied. —Todd Stevens “The Miracle Fish” A bullied young boy from a poor family gets a blessing in disguise when he receives a flimsy fish with foresight in “The Miracle Fish.” Directed by Luke Doolan, this short film picks up when 8-yearold Joe discovers the cheap trinket from his mother can apparently read people’s souls. When Joe ends up sick in the school’s infirmary, he takes a nap and the film surrenders completely to the surreal. Joe wakes up to a deserted school that fills the remainder of the film with the silent tension of an academic wasteland until its final, appropriately confounding resolution. —Ryan Hebel

hat to make of the mystical and suspicious German filmmaker Werner Herzog? His oeuvre is as diverse as it is reliant upon the ineffable power of found images. For each precisely staged and framed composition there’s a shot whose effectiveness is largely a product of the essential strangeness of the natural world. Herzog’s camera empathizes without criticizing, giving his subject ample time to reveal as much of itself as it pleases. Herzog has used this approach in documentaries and fiction films, on mirages (“Fata Morgana”), men who live among bears, (“Grizzly Man”), vampires (“Nosferatu the Vampyre”) and anarchist dwarves (“Even the Dwarves Started Small”). One of his films released in 2009, “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans,” thrives on a tension between an observant camera and a bare-knuckled narrative. The potency of Herzog’s images would be nonexistent if his camera didn’t have something interesting to look at. Enter Nicolas Cage, whose apparent willingness to act in any movie so long as the money’s green makes his star persona that of a mercenary. Some call Cage a master of playing the “down on his luck” man, but his character in “Bad Lieutenant,” Terry McDonagh, is much too forceful to be mistaken for someone flirting with social marginality. McDonagh stumbles through Herzog’s dystopian New Orleans with an aura of madness that recalls Klaus Kinski in Herzog’s “Aguirre, the Wrath of God.” One wonders whether Herzog cast Cage expecting that he’d achieve a wordier version of Kinski’s Lope de Aguirre. At one point, Cage’s McDonagh tells a non-compliant elderly woman and her nurse that he hates their guts: Kinski could communicate all of that with a look like a cannonball. It’s not so much that Kinski’s gift for conveying contempt is better than Cage’s frenzies of coarse language and perceptible zone-outs; ultimately, Herzog treats them both as singular stuff that should be seen through as calm a lens as possible. A Herzog film, no matter whom or

what serves as its central pillar, is always a series of inexplicable events enacted by inexplicable people. Eva Mendes’ “whore with a heart of gold” routine works only because we come to see she never had a “heart of gold” in the first place; indeed, it takes some unseen proselytizing from McDonagh’s recovering addict father for her to pick herself up out of her hotel room gutter. Herzog isn’t interested in depicting salvation or transcendence; both are too tired and straightforward for an artist who once ate his own shoe to make good on a lost bet. No, it’s more interesting to follow an individual who comes apart spectacularly. 1977’s “Stroszek,” much of which was shot in Wisconsin, is a good example of Herzog’s desire to depict the implosion of a protagonist as a descent into oblivion. Herzog’s heroes are described as romantic figures whose drive to attain the impossible leads to their downfall, but McDonagh aspires to make a modest fortune and consume a not-so-exotic variety of drugs. Any potential sentimentality is undermined by his tendency to fall flat on his face while pursuing cash and crack. Sentimentality usually gets a bad rap in artistic discourse; it’s treated as a lack of artistic imagination, while its absence signifies the rugged realism of the artist’s vision. In “Bad Lieutenant,” the absent sentimentality affirms the film’s inherent artificiality, as do a handful of late scenes in which plausibility is thrown out the window and a succession of events transpires that calls attention to the film’s status as an occasionally ridiculous fable. Perhaps the most commendable aspect of “Bad Lieutenant” is Herzog’s willingness to work within the crime drama genre while refusing to employ the genre’s contemporary conventions. Shots last more than long enough to leave a big impression on the viewer. The plot veers and digresses as often as it establishes a steady progression, yielding an erratic narrative that stretches on without becoming exhausting. Where “Bad Lieutenant” stands in Herzog’s filmography is no clearer than what it means for the direction of the 67-year-old director’s career. Nevertheless, it’s yet another worthwhile effort from one of the most versatile filmmakers of the last 50 years. Today is your last chance to see “Bad Lieutenant” at Sundance Cinemas with Dan! His e-mail is dasullivan@wisc.edu.

comics 6

Forget about your worries and your strife! Baloo, from the “Jungle Book” is a Sloth bear. dailycardinal.com/comics

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Not My Cup of Tea

Today’s Sudoku

Evil Bird

By Caitlin Kirihara kirihara@wisc.edu

Solution, tips and computer program available at www.sudoku.com.

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

Ludicrous Linguistics

By Celia Donnelly donnelly.celia@gmail.com

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Crustaches

Charlie and Boomer

By Patrick Remington premington@wisc.edu

By Natasha Soglin soglin@wisc.edu

Answer key available at www.dailycardinal.com United We Stand ACROSS 1 Bikini parts 5 Language spoken in Sri Lanka 10 Device with two jaws 14 Length times depth 15 Atlanta university 16 Dutch cheese 17 When repeated, a former National Zoo panda 18 Collegian’s decision 19 Clark’s girlfriend 20 Inexpensive chat 23 Yale grad 24 Tagged game-players 25 Sheik’s home, in song 27 Big find at an archaeological dig 29 Gomez to Anjelica’s Morticia 32 Body part susceptible to frostbite 33 Ship’s support system 36 L.L. of mail-order fame 37 Technologically advanced 40 Check the bar code 41 Grammy winner Etheridge 42 ___ de toilette 43 Being, to Brutus 44 Former Russian despots

8 Diet ad caption 4 50 Chairman during the Cultural Revolution 52 Churchill’s gesture 53 UPS alternative, originally 58 Record number? 59 Calculators of old 60 Between islands 61 Away from the storm 62 New Mexico state flower 63 Agenda thing 64 Tote board info 65 Baseball theft? 66 Put cargo aboard DOWN 1 More statuesque 2 Baltimore ballplayer 3 An editor’s may be blue 4 Tale spanning centuries 5 Be appealing 6 Asian nannies 7 Austin Powers’ power 8 Clothes presser 9 Ancient Greek harp 10 Like some consonants, in phonetics 11 Violator of the Second Commandment 12 Catamaran, for one 13 Typesetter’s measures 21 On the up-and-up

22 6 2 28 29 30 31 34 5 3 36 37 38 39 40 43 45 46 7 4 49 0 5 51 54 5 5 56 7 5 58

Shortstop Ripken Tokyo dough Tehran land Annie Oakley’s tool ___-inflammatory Uncomplimentary sounds Agate and amethyst, e.g. “Who ___ there?” Ewes’ calls Painter’s platform Made tight Legally impede “Moby Dick” milieu “But I heard him exclaim, ___ he drove ...” Sacred Zoroastrian writings Start over with, as a lawn Type of oil Competitive advantages Place of pilgrimage About the line of rotation Sunbathers catch them Lie alongside Tablecloth material, sometimes Bus alternative ___ Paulo

Washington and the Bear

By Derek Sandberg kalarooka@gmail.com

dailycardinal.com

Thursday, March 4, 2010 7 l

sports 8

dailycardinal.com/sports

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Men’s Basketball

Badgers blow out Iowa on Senior Night RECAP By Ben Breiner THE DAILY CARDINAL

Rust? What Rust? On the night that most expected to belong to Wisconsin’s two lone seniors, a junior returning to top form stole the stage. Forward Jon Leuer did just about anything he wanted Wednesday night, leading the Badgers to a 67-40 blowout over the hapless Iowa Hawkeyes. The Minnesota native finished with 18 points, looking like the offensive force he had been before a broken wrist sidelined him for nine games. “I think each game he’s looked a little more comfortable in recognizing game speeds and reactions,” Wisconsin head coach Bo Ryan said. “We knew he would struggle a little bit early, getting back on the court, but the game goes on ... You just have to go with his abilities to the point where if he’s comfortable, and in a rhythm, he can be a pretty good player.” Pretty good is just what he was Wednesday. He finished 8-for-9 from the field, hitting jumpers from the post, both of his 3-point shots and throwing down a trio of dunks. Even outside of scoring he made his presence felt, rejecting three shots and dishing out a quarter of the Badgers’ assists (including a picture-perfect one out of the post to sophomore forward Rob Wilson cutting through the lane). His impact was most visible as the Badgers took over the game early in the first with an 18-0 run. Leuer scored 10 straight with both his 3s and two of his dunks, both coming on pick-and-roll assists as he cut to the rim and guards fed him the ball. “We did a couple ball screens and Jordan [Taylor] found me on one and J-Bo [senior guard Jason Bohannon] found me on one and I think on the threes I hit, Jordan found me,” Leuer said. “My teammates were just finding me when I was open and it makes it easy to score when you have guys that are doing that. That was basically it, just unselfish play.” That run pushed the game from 12-10 to 30-10, and after that the Hawkeyes never threatened. Iowa scored only 16 points in the first 20 minutes and trailed by 20 or more for the entire second half. For most of the game, Wisconsin

smothered the Iowa offense, holding it below 40 percent shooting and holding the Hawkeyes’ top scorer, Matt Gatens, to zero points in 35 minutes on the court. Iowa head coach Todd Lickliter admitted that his team may have panicked and lost patience early in the game. “We got anxious during possessions. They got easy scores on our defensive mistakes and we got anxious,” Lickliter said. “We know how good they are. We know the situation. We know we’re in trouble and your percentage of play goes down. You can’t do that.” At night’s end the Badgers had taken advantage behind Leuer and afterwards his teammates were asked if they had seen a glimpse of him in top form. “I think we did, but at the same time when we got our horse back down there in the paint, it opens up everybody’s game,” senior guard Trevon Hughes said after his ﬁnal game in the Kohl Center. “It’s harder to double down on him now because we got our sharpshooters that are shooting well and we’ve been shooting well since the last 15 games. And Jordan’s stepped up since Jon’s absence and we, having Keaton pick up a bigger role when he was out, so now everybody’s clicking I feel like.”

ANALYSIS By Nick Schmitt THE DAILY CARDINAL

In their last game at the Kohl Center senior guards Jason Bohannon and Trevon Hughes said farewell the only way they know how: with style. Bohannon and Hughes hit backto-back shots to open a game-long celebration of their Badger careers and finished the game on pace to become the highest scoring backcourt in Wisconsin history. Hughes finished with 15 points on 5-of-14 shooting and Bohannon added 11 on 5-of-8 and also grabbed a career-high nine rebounds. Both became members of Wisconsin’s 1,000-point club this season and, depending on how the rest of the season plays out, they have a chance to become two of the most winningest basketball players at the university. “If I was a director I couldn’t write a better script for tonight,” Hughes said. “Our team came out firing, [the way] the two teams opened up the game, and especially with [Bohannon]. The very first possession once he touched it I knew it was going to be a good night.” If it was not clear by how they interact on the floor, Hughes and Bohannon share a unique bond.

DANNY MARCHEWKA/THE DAILY CARDINAL

Junior forward Jon Leuer scored 18 points on 8-of-9 from the ﬁeld.

DANNY MARCHEWKA/THE DAILY CARDINAL

Senior guard Trevon Hughes scored 15 points, shooting 5-of-14 from the field in the final home game of his Badger career. They were roommates in the dorms freshman year, which brought them closer together socially and helped form the chemistry on the court that gave them the opportunity to grow into such an impressive duo. It is only fitting that they also got to share all of the achievements they’ve accomplished with the team these past four years. “Just think about two guys going over 1,000 points in the same year, playing on NCAA tournament teams, conference championship teams, conference tournament champion teams,” head coach Bo Ryan said of his two departing seniors. “That’s pretty exciting. There are a lot of people who would like to be Jason Bohannon and Trevon Hughes. I would.” Both Hughes and Bohannon also shared the night with their families. Hughes’ mom got the chance to see her son play at the Kohl Center for the first time since he played in the Wisconsin state high school tournament. And because Hughes’ team didn’t win the title back then, he was glad his mom got to see him lead the Badgers to a victory. Sometimes it’s funny how things work out and in what Bohannon

called a “cool situation,” he got to ﬁnish his career at the Kohl Center against his home-state team in front of his dad, the quarterback of Iowa’s 1982 Rose Bowl team, and his mom. The most difﬁcult part of the night for Hughes, Bohannon and their families was not winning the game, but trying to hold back the tears. “It’s very tough,” Hughes said of the emotions. “You just have to suck it up sometimes or sometimes let it go. There’s nothing wrong with shedding a tear. The emotion did play a role in the tonight’s game and I think that’s the energy we need to come out and play with in every game.” The performances by Hughes and Bohannon were special, but in his fourth game back from a wrist injury a junior forward took over some of the spotlight. Consider it a passing of the torch to the Orono, Minn. native as it will be his team next year without Hughes and Bohannon. The heir-apparent to the Wisconsin leadership throne scored 10 straight points, thanks to assists from both Bohannon and Hughes in an 18-0 run and left no doubts that he is back to full form.

After rough beginning to tenure, Stone ﬁnally getting it right BEN BREINER boom goes the breinamite

er time at Wisconsin has been nothing short of turbulent. For three years her teams lost. Then came the hope for breakthrough seasons that was twice dashed. Furthermore, a stream of belittling questions were constantly asked about her, comparing her to a more successful predecessor or her salary to one of a more successful Badger head coach in a more visible sport. But after this year, it seems fitting that Lisa Stone finally gets her due. Her team now sits at 20-9 and finished the conference season in a tie for third place, best since 2001. Barring

some unbelievable situation, in a few weeks the Badgers will head to their first NCAA tourney since 2002 and their first with Stone at the helm. This year’s squad didn’t score a lot of points (only one Badger averages more than 10 per game), but that was a result of slowing the game down and limiting possessions, and lowering both their and their opponents’ points per game. The pure scoring numbers place them second in the league in points allowed. Three times Wisconsin strung together four-game winning streaks, and the team only dropped consecutive games once in the entire season. For that, Stone was named Big Ten Coach of the Year, an award that should hold much more meaning considering her first six years in Madison. In the first three years, the team

never garnered a winning record and was as far as could be from the conference title race. In 2006-’07 came the jump, when, led by a pair of stalwart wings in Jolene Anderson and Janese Banks, the Badgers made it back to the postseason, getting all the way to the title game of the NIT. With literally every player coming back and a new crop of freshmen, it seemed like the following year would mark Wisconsin’s return to importance in the Big Ten. Stone’s team was tabbed for the preseason top-25 and early on projected to the NCAA tournament field. But then it all fell apart. The team never realized its goal and, despite the talents of seniors Anderson, Banks and center Danielle Ward, Wisconsin finished just two games above .500, losing in the first round of the NIT. The next year featured similar

disappointment as a 10-1 start gave way to a 9-13 finish and another year outside the Big Dance. With those struggles came the criticisms and calls for her job. A number of players quit along the way and one, Mariah Dunham who was 20 at the time, was thrown off the team after reportedly getting into a bar fight. Stone was often compared to her predecessor, Jane Albright, who was arguably the best coach in program history and was rather unceremoniously dumped after a single bad season (that followed eight consecutive winning ones). Furthermore it was often pointed out that her salary was considerably higher than that of Mike Eaves, the more successful head man of the higher-profile men’s hockey team. When her contract came up for renewal, these ques-

tions were repeatedly raised, asking why a relatively unsuccessful coach should be retained. Through all the criticism, Stone persevered, and now with this team, this year, she can quiet the doubters. When asked about getting the award from the Big Ten, she reportedly credited her team, but away from the cameras and microphones hopefully she is savoring this one. The team isn’t bursting with toplevel talent, but it has been good enough this season. Good enough to get the program pointed back toward competing at a high level, good enough to quell the detractors and good enough to show that Stone deserves her due credit. Think the Badgers can make noise in March and turn this into an even more special season for Stone and the school. Tell Ben about it at breiner@wisc.edu.