Readers' Choice 2014 - Weekend, March 6-9, 2014 - The Daily Cardinal

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Weekend, March 6-9, 2014

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TOMMY YONASH AND HALEY HENSCHEL/THE DAILY CARDINAL

UW votes ‘yes’ for Rec Sports Master Plan

By Emily Gerber THE DAILY CARDINAL

Amid announcements regarding As s o c i at e d Students of Madison representative positions, the ASM Spring Election resulted in the decision that has been on the campus community’s mind for months: the approval of the Recreational Sports Master Plan referendum.

With 13,984 total votes casted March 3-5 in the election, there were 12,070 votes in favor of the plan aimed at renovating the recreational facilities on campus. By voting “yes,” students agreed to the Division of Recreational Sports’ outlined increase of

a $108 maximum in student segregated fees. Additional funding for the $223 million project is set to come from the UW Foundation, the Athletic

“I think it’s actually kind of sad that we can only get this big of a turnout when there’s a referendum.”

Jessica Franco-Morales representative Associated Students of Madison

Department and the state of Wisconsin.

The Master Plan outlines changes to the Southeast

Recreational Facility, the Natatorium and outdoor fields in the Lakeshore neighborhood near the Natatorium.

Current projections mark planning beginning for the SERF as early as 2015, with the renovated facility opening in Summer 2019.

Rec Sports maintain the segregated fee increase will not affect students until the new facilities open. While the recreational facilities are under renovation, the Division said it will provide other means for students to workout, such as in the lobby of Ogg Residence Hall.

EMILY GERBER/THE DAILY CARDINAL

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Gov. Scott Walker, State Building Commission chair, approved construction plans for the Memorial Union Reinvestment.

New ASM representatives elected Wednesday

Union Reinvestment to face schedule setback

After tallying the 14,098 casted ballots in the Associated Students of Madison Spring Election—a 34.4 percent voter turnout of the total enrollment at University of Wisconsin-Madison—38 university students were appointed to represent various ASM positions for the 21st session.

College of Letters and Science Megan Phillips Qi Xi Genevieve Carter Niko Argeroplos John “JP” Paetsch Nicole Luczynski Andre Hunter Derek Field Andy Stoiber Alexander Charles Schultz Jessica Franco-Morales Faye Ding

Student Services Finance Committee Ousmane Kabre Devon Maier Andre Hunter Senior Class President Maria Giannopoulos Senior Class Vice President Annie Paul Senior Class Secretary Dougie Moss Senior Class Treasurer Brady Beck

Though the State Building Commission approved construction for Phase II of the Memorial Union Reinvestment Wednesday, and signed off on a funding increase, the project could see a delay in commencement.

Phase I of the Reinvestment began in Summer 2012, with renovations focusing on the Union’s west wing and 5th floor.

Katie Carry, the Union student building project manager, said the state’s usual procedure for building projects involve outlining and approving the design plans before starting construction. With the first phase of the Reinvestment, however, the Union was able to bypass the typically lon-

union page 2

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

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Weekend, March 6-9, 2014

Volume 123, Issue 87

2142 Vilas Communication Hall 821 University Avenue Madison, Wis., 53706-1497 (608) 262-8000 • fax (608) 262-8100

By Patricia Johnson

News and Editorial

THE DAILY CARDINAL

edit@dailycardinal.com Editor-in-Chief Abigail Becker

Managing Editor Mara Jezior

News Team News Manager Sam Cusick Campus Editor Adelina Yankova College Editor Emily Gerber City Editor Patricia Johnson State Editor Eoin Cottrell Associate News Editor Dana Kampa Features Editor Melissa Howison Opinion Editors Haleigh Amant • Ryan Bullen Editorial Board Chair Anna Duffin Arts Editors Cheyenne Langkamp • Sean Reichard Sports Editors Brett Bachman • Jonah Beleckis Almanac Editors Andy Holsteen • Kane Kaiman Photo Editors Courtney Kessler • Jane Thompson Graphics Editors Mikaela Albright • Haley Henschel Multimedia Editor Amy Gruntner • Grey Satterfield Science Editor Nia Sathiamoorthi Life & Style Editor Katy Hertel Special Pages Editor Samy Moskol Copy Chiefs Vince Huth • Justine Jones Maya Miller • Kayla Schmidt Copy Editors Kara Evenson • Jessie Rodgers Patricia Ruhnke Social Media Manager Rachel Wanat

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© 2013, The Daily Cardinal Media Corporation ISSN 0011-5398

For the record Corrections or clarifications?

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UDC hears plans for local apartments

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892

FRIDAY: rainy

Members of Madison’s Urban Design Commission heard proposals to improve the Roundhouse Apartment and replace existing houses on West Johnson with a mixed-use living unit at a meeting Wednesday.

The Roundhouse Apartment, located on 626 Langdon St., is in need of updates to meet current building codes and zoning requirements, according to a report by the Urban Design Commission. A representative from Gary Brink & Associates proposed renovations and an addition to the complex.

The addition would include an eight-story structure with living units and a lobby on the bottom floor for office space or potential market space. The architects suggested a bridgelike connection between the two structures.

Members from the Plan Commission previously suggested the architects improve the aesthetic quality of the

union from page 1 ger process and receive a waiver to conduct design planning while beginning construction.

“We wanted to get this building done as quickly as possible for students.”

Katie Carry student building project manager Wisconsin Union

Carry said because a waiver requesting the condensed construction process was not presented before the commission, a waiver is not possible for the next phase, therefore delaying the start of the next round of renovations.

“We really liked that process and wanted to do that again for Phase II,” Carry said.

Phase II will target the Terrace and the Union’s current dining options.

“We wanted to get this building done as quickly as possible for students,” Carry added.

The Union’s initial plan was to begin Phase II later this year, after the summer reveal of the Reinvestment’s first phase.

However, Phase II could be delayed until 2015 due to the commission’s decision, Carry said.

Despite the construction delays, Carry said the total time Memorial Union will be under renovation and face closure will remain the same.

building. In response, the proposed renovations include a wrap-around patio at the front of the main entrance.

Committee members also reviewed plans to replace three existing structures on the 400 block of West Johnson Street with a mixed-use living unit.

The demolition would leave approximately 130,000 square feet available for resident space and 2,700 square feet for commercial space on the first floor.

A representative from Sutton Architecture said creating an L-shaped edifice would best suit the given space.

Developers would like to add contemporary landscaping with aesthetically pleasing foliage which they hope will welcome residents and shoppers to the building.

The first floor of the building would be open for public use with recommended commercial space or offices. The architects also desire to create a communal space for the residents with a mezzanine above the ground

EMILY BUCK/THE DAILY CARDINAL

Urban Design Commission members discussed plans to renovate Roundhouse Apartments on Langdon Street Wednesday. floor and a fireplace. The presentation also included a rooftop pool for residents to enjoy atop the 11th floor.

The Sutton representative poposed “automated parking” to optimize the allotted 32,000 square feet of parking space.

With automated parking, residents could park their cars on elevator trays that would trans-

port the cars mechanically into one of 168 compact parking spaces that fit within a mere twostory garage.

Developers for the West Johnson Street apartment are hoping to begin construction June of this year.

Members gave recommendations to be reviewed at future meetings.

Best-selling author visits UW Wednesday body who makes that.’”

Allie Vitello, a For some time, New UW-Madison sophoYork Times bestselling more who read “Wild” author Cheryl Strayed this past summer, said felt her given name was she usually hears her not quite right. own voice when she “Nothing fit until reads and that she one day when the word appreciated having the ‘strayed’ came to my opportunity to listen mind. Immediately, I to excerpts from the looked it up in the dicauthor. tionary, and knew it was “I liked hearing her mine,” Strayed wrote in read it … in her own her memoir “Wild.” voice,” Vitello said.

Strayed came to Vitello, an Oregon the University of native, said she came to Wisconsin-Madison the lecture to hear more Wednesday as part about Strayed’s experiof UW-Madison’s ence hiking the Pacific Distinguished Lecture Crest Trail.

Series. She spoke about In turn, Strayed said WILL CHIZEK/THE DAILY CARDINAL she spent time thinking her book, “Wild,” which is being adapted Cheryl Strayed, author of the memoir ‘Wild,’ about how her experience into a movie starring reads an excerpt from her book at a lecture in was relevant to her audiUnion South’s Varsity Hall Wednesday.

Reese Witherspoon. ence, not just to herself, During the four in the 13 years between years following her mother’s The hike wasn’t the author’s hiking and writing “Wild.” death, Strayed felt lost, she said. first experience with nature, Then one day, while waiting in however. Strayed grew up in line to buy a foldable shovel at northern Minnesota in what she “I didn’t really know that REI, she came across a travel described as a “back to the land” somebody like me could be book that inspired her to hike lifestyle, with no plumbing or a writer.” the Pacific Crest Trail. running water.

Strayed said she imagined Despite this isolated upbringCheryl Strayed her trek would mainly be a spir- ing, she loved books and wanted author “Wild” itual journey. to be a writer.

“It was harder than I thought “I didn’t really know that it was going to be, physically,” somebody like me could be a writStrayed said. “I was so hungry er,” Strayed said. “I just thought, ‘I “What does it mean to be and so madly fantasizing about don’t know how that writer made human? That is the question of food and cold beverages.” that beauty, but I want to be some- literature,” Strayed said.

By Anna Lynn THE DAILY CARDINAL

State Senate committee holds public hearing on e-cigarette legislation A state Senate committee convened a public hearing Wednesday to hear testimony on a senator’s proposal to formally allow people to use e-cigarettes indoors.

The proposal would exempt e-cigarettes, which are an alternative to conventional cigarettes and contain nicotine-laced vapor, from

a current statewide indoor smoking ban.

State Sen. Glenn Grothman, R-West Bend, said he is “worried” legislation recently instituted in New York banning the devices “could seep inland,” according to The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

A coalition of health asso-

ciations, including the American Heart Association and the American Lung Association, voiced their opposition to the bill at the public hearing. The coalition also called attention to possible societal benefits from the indoor smoking ban.

“Studies have found workers

are healthier, patrons are happier and the law banning indoor smoking enjoys widespread public support,” the coalition said in a statement.

The Senate Committee of Judiciary and Labor will vote on the bill in an executive session Thursday.

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dailycardinal.com

Ukraine explained: UW expert’s input on the crisis

By Will Doss and Michael Doubek THE DAILY CARDINAL

As the threat of war looms over Ukraine and the international community scrambles to respond, the United States and its allies are weighing their limited options for mediation, according to University of WisconsinMadison associate professor Andrew Kydd.

Anti-government sentiment had been simmering since November 2013 when former Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych rejected a proposal for further economic integration with the European Union, prompting protesters to occupy Independence Square in Ukraine’s capital, Kiev.

Frustrations within the initially peaceful movement ignited when heavily armed riot police attempted to forcefully disperse the demonstrators, resulting in weeks of vicious street-battles that left more than 100 dead and thousands injured on both sides, Kydd said.

Violent clashes between demonstrators and government forces have ceased since Yanukovych was forced to flee the capital in late February. Russia has since been using the turmoil as a pretense to position forces in the province of Crimea, where eth-

GRAPHIC BY JOEL GREENSPAN

The rising tensions in Ukraine stem from Russia’s occupation of an ethnically Russian segment of the country, resulting in a U.S. boycott of the upcoming 2014 G8 Summit. nic Russians constitute a majority of the population, according to Kydd.

A group of heavily armed Russian-speaking men seized the Crimean parliament building in Simferopol Feb. 27. After hearing pleas for support from Crimean Prime Minister Sergei Aksenov, President Vladimir Putin secured

permission from the Russian Federation Council to deploy military forces in Ukraine. Since then, Russian armed forces have surrounded Ukrainian military units and installations in a standoff that has persisted for almost a week.

Kydd said Russia’s motivations for the occupation are com-

plex and hardly transparent, but some of the Kremlin’s ambitions in Crimea are clear. The coastal Crimean city of Sevastopol is home to the headquarters of the Black Sea Fleet, Russia’s more than 200-year-old naval unit responsible for operations in the Black and Mediterranean Seas, meaning the peninsula holds sig-

nificant strategic military value.

Russia also hopes to send a message to Ukraine—which in recent years has been inching toward integration with the European Union—that distancing itself from the Kremlin will not come without a price, according to Kydd.

“Putin thinks of himself as the strong man, and he views the 1991 breakup of the Soviet Union as the result of weak leadership,” Kydd said. “He is demonstrating to the new government in Ukraine that, hey, if you want to move away from Russia, there are going to be consequences.”

Russia’s intervention in Crimea was met with condemnation and threats of economic sanctions from the international community, but many fear the West is left with few substantial options.

“The options are mostly diplomatic,” Kydd said. “The likelihood of any force being used is very low, but any ongoing efforts to bring Russia closer to the West will most likely cease.”

One such effort is the upcoming 2014 G8 summit in Sochi, Russia, which the U.S. announced it would be boycotting Tuesday.

While the impact of the boycott is limited, Kydd said it sends a clear message of disapproval toward Russia’s occupation of Crimea.

Senate committee hears campaign finance bills A state Senate committee held a public hearing Wednesday to discuss campaign finance legislation that would remove many conditions which require individuals and political organizations to publicly disclose financial contributions and disbursements introduced earlier this week.

The bills would also allow lobbyists to make political contributions for a greater period of time than currently is allowed.

“The courts have ruled that [issue advocacy] is a free speech issue, and I’m very much an advocate for free speech, and for people being more participatory in their government,” state Sen. Mary Lazich, R-New Berlin, and author of the bill, said in its defense.

Kevin Kennedy, director of the Government Accountability Board, said the bill only solidifies existing GAB policy into state law.

State Sen. Mark Miller, D-Monona, said the types of

communication exempted by the legislation, such as political issue advertisements, could still be used to influence the outcome of an election in the same manner as a campaign advertisement.

Advertisements are exempt from publicly releasing information if they do not contain seven specific phrases listed by the GAB. Phrases such as “vote for,” “elect” and “support” require advertisements to report their funding and source.

Lisa Subeck, executive director of United Wisconsin, expressed her concerns over transparency in Wisconsin’s elections. “[The legislation] loosens disclosure requirements regarding campaign spending by independent organizations—spending often referred to as ‘dark money,’” Subeck said.

The committee scheduled an executive session Thursday to vote on recommending the bills for the Senate’s consideration.

—Andrew Hahn

vote from page 1

the future she wants to see student interest in ASM driven independently from the presence of a referendum.

“I think it’s actually kind of sad that we can only get this big of a turnout when there’s a referendum,” Franco-Morales said, saying the Master Plan component could have been students’ only reason for taking the time to vote. “Some of them might not have even cared about the ASM election.”

Representatives from Rec Sports were unavailable when reached for comment.

Though the plan has been approved, Rec Sports has stated additional funding would surface, which would allow for additions or changes to be made to the proposals.

Compared to past spring elections, voter turnout for the 2014 season saw a steep increase. This year’s election saw 34.4 percent voter turnout, compared to 14.9 percent turnout in 2013.

Newly elected College of Letters and Science Rep. Jessica Franco-Morales said in

NICK MONFELI/THE DAILY CARDINAL

ASM Student Council Chair David Gardner hears campaign updates from various committee chairs during a Coordinating Council meeting in the SAC Wednesday.

Coordinating Council hears ASM campaign updates The Associated Students of Madison Coordinating Council discussed efforts of ASM committees, including changes to disciplinary policy, the latest Campus Diversity Plan and funding for the recent Recreational Sports Master Plan Thursday.

University Affairs Committee Chair Hannah Kinsella presented a possible addition to the University of Wisconsin System Chapter 17 Disciplinary Policy, which would provide those filing a report of a sexual assault with the ability to appeal the decision after the event is reported.

The proposed policy, which will be presented to the Board of Regents, would help to keep University policy in line with federal policy.

The council also discussed the draft for the new campus Diversity Plan. The latest draft of the plan is to be released next week to the student body and faculty for viewing. Listening sessions will be set up for students to review the plan and to ensure its quality.

In addition, representatives from the Ad Hoc Diversity Planning Committee, who wrote the draft, will hear the respons-

es to the draft at next week’s Student Council meeting to hear responses to the plan.

ASM Chair David Gardner also discussed the push to receive more funding for the Recreational Sports Master Plan from the Athletic Department, which was up for vote earlier this week.

“This is not ending with the referendum and there’s still a push for more funding to take the burden off of students,” Gardner said.

After passing, the next step for Rec Sports will be finalizing the Master Plan’s funding.

—Scott Bembenek

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dailycardinal.com

Celebrating Geisel’s birthday

By Maham Hasan The Daily Cardinal

Brilliance sometimes surfaces in physical forms. The power of imagination in some people is so vast and vital, it’s a living, breathing dragon.

They’re not only able to weave a world around themselves but they also have the magic to breathe it out like a fire that never dies for the rest of us mere mortals. Theodor Seuss Geisel was one such mythical metaphor, and he actually existed.

Geisel died in 1991, but his birthday, March 2, is a day of celebration for every mind that was inspired by his work. So what do you know about the guy who taught your little minds how to fly?

Well for one, Seuss was a master of rhyming, duh. But take a moment to appreciate exactly how incredibly amazing it is that he rhymed in a way that produced a unique cadence in his work. So unique, in fact, that if read to fetuses while they’re in their mama’s belly, they actually remember “The Cat in the Hat” when they’re out in the real world and not a space monkey anymore.

Also, his name is actually pronounced fancier. “Zoice” to be exact and not “Soose;” so next time you’re trying out a line on

that girl at the party, I’ll suggest opening with that if you never want to see her again.

He created the pseudonym “Dr. Seuss” because the guy was actually saving his real one for his debut at the Great American Novel, supposedly. But that’s just a load of bull in my opinion. He was made for creating utter nonsense and beautifully weird characters; a true story over a hilariously good story would’ve just landed him on the path toward F. Scott Fitzgerald’s drinking or Mark Twain’s depression.

Like all the amazing artistic minds to ever walk this planet, Seuss did not find writing success easily. It’s like a paradigm now and an absolute tribute to mankind’s stupidity that these poor, tortured artists always either have to blow their brains out, cut off their ears or put their heads in an oven to find that oh so elusive success.

Thankfully, Seuss did not have to resort to such morbidly entertaining means to finally find himself some fame. After having his first children’s book, “And to Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street,” rejected by 27 publishers— who hires these idiots?—he finally got it published when he was 33.

It is worth mentioning he almost

burned the manuscript.

The guy was also not a doctor— so many secrets, does your life not make sense anymore? Good, neither does mine. Although he thought about doing a Ph.D in English for like two minutes, he ditched that plan and went to Oxford University instead after studying at Dartmouth College. Yeah, the guy was a real underachiever, I mean come on, Oxford? Pfft. He has my heartfelt, weep with joy respect, however, for filling his notebooks at Oxford with nothing but doodling. How much more amazing can this guy get, you ask? Well, a lot more.

The story of how he met his wife is worth mentioning because of its absurdity alone. His classmate Helen Palmer (later Palmer Geisel) looked over his notebook one day and scoffed at why he wanted to be a professor. She instead told him he should draw instead because his flying cow was mighty fine and so obviously they had to get married. Lesson? Find someone who appreciates your flying cow.

Seuss is also one of the few people to earn a Ph.D by dropping out of graduate school.

Before you internally combust at that awesome idea and how you can do it, remember children: He

PLAYLIST

Spring is (possibly) coming. Celebrate with these sunny tunes.

was Seuss and you are not, so don’t even go there. Dartmouth gave him his first honorary doctorate after he dropped out to pursue cartooning.

Although he claimed to write about children because he felt he had a great understanding of them, the truth may be more related to the fact he wrote his first children’s book in the same year the flying cow Helen learned she could not have children.

So what did the guy do? He created and greatly embellished on his imaginary children. When asked why a childless person could write so well for children, his signature response was always, “You make ‘em. I’ll amuse ‘em.”

So, a very Happy Birthday Week to one of the greatest minds in literature. Thank you for teaching us that, “A person’s a person, no matter how small;” “Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope;” “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” and “Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”

Have any kind words about the good doctor? Send them to Maham at mhasan4@wisc.edu

“Love on a Farmboy’s Wages” XTC These Brits went pastoral as folk on this breezy track.

“Summer Teeth” Wilco This song is depressing as hell, but the use of running water and bird calls thaw the songs’s somberness.

“Rye Whiskey” Punch Brothers This bluegrass tune hits a special chord for both spring enthusiasts and whiskey drinkers.

RECORD ROUTINE

Rick Ross invited too many friends on new album CD REVIEW

Mastermind Rick Ross

By Conor Murphy The Daily Cardinal

Rick Ross’ most recent addition to his canon, Mastermind, is a continuation of his 2009 release, Deeper Than Rap. Here, however, instead

of retreading former grounds, Ross expands his expertise in the hiphop world.

While his previous albums have been packed full of guest appearances, Mastermind, Ross’ sixth album, continues the tradition of God Forgives, I Don’t in allowing Ross to show off his ability to carry songs without the assistance of guest rappers. After being crowned MTV’s Hottest MC in early 2012, Ross has honed his craft, and Mastermind is a testament to his versatility.

Straddling partnerships with high level acts like Kanye West,

Jay-Z and members of the Young Money crew, Ross’ choice of backing tracks and beats highlight the album throughout. While some of the flows Ross effortlessly pushes through the speakers work well, other tracks falter.

Mastermind opens with two tracks featuring a solo Ross rapping over high-octane beats. “Rich Is Gangsta” features throwbacks to the image of Tony Montana’s mansion, with a full orchestration accompanying the walkthrough of the mansion’s opulence, and “Drug Dealers Dream” continues the lavishness.

The two tracks which bookend “The Devil is a Lie” easily outshine the album’s lead single, with French Montana cruising through “Nobody,” and the Jamaican-infused “Mafia Music III” bringing a highlight to the album’s first half.

Ross’ versatility plays in well in the album’s second half. The Weeknd’s feature on “In Vein” brings a much softer note to the album, and “Sanctified,” featuring Kanye West and Big Sean, harkens back to GOOD Music’s Cruel Summer album from 2012.

The problem with Mastermind

may actually lie in what Ross is known for: collaborative efforts.

While Ross is a fantastic MC, the big name artists on Mastermind seem to take the center stage on their featured verses. He comes off as a big man in a fur coat with no substance.

Mastermind steps up Ross’ rap ability from his previous two albums, and brings back his energy from Deeper Than Rap. However, Ross can’t shake his reputation as a man with great opulence and nothing else.

Rating: B-

UNEARTHING BANDCAMP

Cherishing crass punk and loops

By Andy Holsteen The Daily Cardinal

Bandcamp.com might be my favorite website. In its version of a free market music economy—which is free to use, requires no subscription and lets anyone upload music—objectively superior music rises to the top of the pool, as popularity is controlled entirely by listeners, not bigtime record labels. Every week I scour this site, looking for notyet-famous artists making stellar sounds. Here are some of my favorite new releases.

Busch Hymns, by Posture & The Grizzly (March 4) Hmmmm, Busch Hymns you say? Accurate—this denomination of punk strictly endorses unholy behavior. There’s a song called “Egg Nog Drunk Off of Hilary Duff’s Piss.” Full of fat, distorted bass licks, tight, synco-

pated guitar progressions, zero fucks, Busch Hymns kicks the poseur crap out of punk’s innumerable garbage projects.

Here’s a perfect lyric, from the song “God’s Drugs:” “And I’ve been thinking about myself/The fat, tired, lonesome, piece of shit that I am/Or tried to be.” With five of the album’s eight tracks clocking-in shorter than two minutes (a beautiful thing), Posture & The Grizzly’s debut LP equates to an audible quickie—a damn good quickie that will tempt you back for more.

Favorite track: “Jordan Michael’s Space Jam” Girls with Fun Haircuts, by Bearcubbin’! (March 1) So your favorite bands are Battles and Don Caballero?

Bearcubbin’! might become the third band on that list. At times, Girls with Fun Haircuts sounds

frighteningly similar to postTyondai Braxton Battles—what with the math, the prog-funk bass lines, the loops—which loop and loop and loop—the virtuosic feel changes, the bizarre, processed tones.

But Girls with Fun Haircuts blows Gloss Drop out of the water, for real. I attribute this largely to the addition of Patrick Dougherty on bass. Although the bass doesn’t melodically drive the album, it introduces some much-needed, Wrestling Moves-like crunch to an otherwise clean orchestration. It’s also worth checking out their 2011 release Get Your Heavies Out. A bit rawer, this EP immediately hooked me on Bearcubbin’!.

Favorite track: “Kevin” Have a Bandcamp to suggest to Andy? Send him an email at holsteen@wisc.edu

opinion dailycardinal.com

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Pornography becoming normalized in society SARA VINSON opinion columnist

T

he piece written by a Duke University student/adult film actress shocked the Internet for a few days and swept through our daily conversations. While many praised her writing and her confidence, I would like to urge everyone to get over the shock of pornography.

Pornography is a major industry. James Deen, the porn star who visited campus last year, claims he aspired to be a porn star since childhood. He also wanted to climb the porn industry ladder. He wanted to direct and produce as well as participate. Porn has an amazing amount of traffic on the Internet. According to an article from The Huffington Post, porn sites generate more traffic than Netflix, Amazon and Twitter combined. That is a serious number of views.

That amount of traffic is not just from the same dozen guys.

The same article claims 70 percent of men and 30 percent of women watch porn. Therefore any woman who is shocked or angered at finding out her new boyfriend likes to indulge in the occasional porn site should probably get over it. He is not sick, disgusting or trying to

insult you. He is a human with Internet access.

Pornography has maintained its legality due to free speech and obscenity avoidance. Many people in the industry consider it an art form as well as a way to pay the bills.

Art or not, let’s face it: It is used for the viewer to masturbate.

Masturbation, like pornography, has a history in our culture that surrounds secrecy, shame and personal harm. A hundred years ago masturbation was considered extremely unhealthy, causing dull eyes, acne, memory loss and divorce for women.

Now we are far more accepting. One Men’s Health article gives a great list of health benefits to masturbation. The magazine claims a little self-help can boost your immune system and mood, prevent cancer and help men last longer in bed.

Pleasuring oneself is still nothing to brag about in our society, but here is a secret: we almost all do it. In one Human Sexuality lecture here on campus, a class was surveyed about their sexual history. One of the most interesting statistics showed nearly 100 percent of the men in the class masturbated, about 60 percent of the women did. While that is not a perfect sample size, it is still a powerful number.

Women who find porn disgusting might just be a little too uncomfortable with their own

sexuality, and to them I suggest checking out a few different genres, directors or stars.

I do not personally believe in “female friendly” porn, but porn definitely qualifies as a something-for-everyone commodity. Try watching porn with your significant other. It might inspire some new things to try out or just get the two of you in the mood if you are in a sexual lull.

According to an article from The Huffington Post, porn sites generate more traffic than Netflix, Amazon and Twitter combined.

Porn useage can be overdone. There are plenty of people who watch porn every day; some even prefer porn to inperson sexual interaction. Porn can damage a relationship or prevent one. If you notice a dip in your partner’s sex drive there is a chance an increase in porn use is to blame.

That said, it is unlikely. If you are in a relationship, have a conversation about porn and be honest about your usage, preferences and comfort levels, it will help your relationship in the long run and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

Yes, anyone can overindulge in porn use, but it should not be

GRAPHIC BY HALEY HENSCHEL

compared to alcohol use. Maybe a person might be healthier if they never used it, but, in moderation, it has some great health benefits.

It is a normal part of our culture.

Addictive personalities have trouble with it, but recognizing that between yourself, your partner or even roommate (awkward) is something to note and talk about so the overindulgent one can be helped.

Some people overdo the good stuff in life; everyone else can feel free to click on the occasional raunchy video without feeling guilt or shame.

How do you feel about pornography making its way into mainstream pop culture? Is there a moral obligation to keep it underground? Please send all feedback to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

Vladimir Putin’s aggressiveness mimics Nazi invasions of the 1930s MICHAEL PODGERS opinion columnist

T

ucked away in a corner of the Reichstag, the German parliament building in Berlin, there’s a quiet memorial to the tenuous history of German democracy. Referencing an old communication system, walls of a small dark space are covered in tiny mailboxes with the names of every single individual elected to parliament. In the middle one mailbox is labeled with an ominous name: Adolf Hitler.

He’s following the rules of the constitution, but for all intents and purposes, he may as well be a dictator.

An often-overlooked fact is Adolf Hitler’s reign was entirely legal. He was democratically elected to parliament, he was legally appointed Chancellor and he legally declared martial law as a means to usurp control of Germany in 1933. For 12 years the Nazi party controlled Germany and waged war and genocide based on a constitution from 1919. It’s dictatorship via democracy.

Contemporary Russia is officially a constitutional democracy. The government is elected, there’s an elected parliament and commissions and then there’s Vladimir Putin. Since 1999, he has held one of the two highest offices in the federation’s government, flip-flopping between President and Prime Minister.

He’s following the rules of the constitution, but for all intents and purposes, he may as well be a dictator.

History, in all its wonderfully cyclical and frustrating ability to repeat itself, is at it again. The Russian government under Putin is mimicking the German government under the Nazi Party in the 1930s. Never has the mantra “we study history in order to never repeat it” been so true. As easy at it is for us to declare discriminatory laws in Kansas and Arizona as reflections of Nazi Germany, it is important that we abandon such superficial declarations in order to see when history is really repeating itself.

That brings me to the northern coast of the Black Sea and Crimea.

The region has become a flash point of the Ukrainian conflict and the reason behind Russia’s intervention in the conflict. The argument from Moscow is that their intervention is a humanitarian move to protect ethnic Russians and Russian citizens. This seems to disregard the fact that the tumult in the Ukraine began because of attempts by Russia to extend economic and political influence over the country. Also it does not seem to acknowledge the politically and militarily strategic Crimean coast, the location of Russia’s Black Sea naval fleet.

“Rationality no longer dictates Putin’s decisions.”

Sü ddeutsche Zeitung German Newspaper

Diplomatic negotiations are attempt-

ing to ease the pressure and navigate away from the possibility of all out war.

Russia flexed its muscles and the international community scrambled. Putin has shown he’s potentially more irrational than anybody thought and commentators from the German newspaper Süddeutsche Zeitung said, “rationality no longer dictates Putin’s decisions.”

That’s not very comforting.

These actions are eerily similar to 1938. In March that year Hitler annexed Austria and later that year the Sudentenland, an ethnically German region along the German-Czech boarder. Western leaders later handed over control of the Sudentenland to Germany after the Munich Conference. It was an act intended to appease Hitler’s aggressiveness and prevent war. A year later Poland was invaded and the Second World War commenced.

In 1936, Berlin hosted the Olympics.

Discriminatory signs and laws were removed or went unenforced during the games; even Berlin’s infamous gay bars were reopened for a number of weeks in the summer after being shuttered by the Nazi government three years earlier. The Games were intended to show off a wealthy, successful and above all “ideal” Germany. That reality was a facade and meant to depict a country that wasn’t indeed in the grips of a fascist dictatorship.

Russia’s first Winter Games in Sochi cost a record $51 billion and were obviously intended to show post-Soviet Russia’s modernity. The costs of the Games couldn’t cover up the controversy surrounding already increasing pressure on the Ukraine and the wellpublicized anti-gay propaganda laws.

Putin reassured foreigners about their fears for the safety of athletes, spectators and media personnel. Nonetheless, arrests of Russian citizens were made across the country, because they dared

to protest the laws to an international audience. These moves are more than desperate but shallow efforts against the LGBTQ community, they’re sincere and direct attacks with real support.

That reality was a facade and meant to dipict a country that wasn’t indeed in the grips of a facist dictatorship.

It’s history on a platter to view in real time. The real question for us is how to approach these events. We know what happened almost eight decades ago.

Negotiations can work to an extent, but they don’t mean any underlying force has been quelled. War is a possibility, but how much or how little do international forces take part in a violent conflict? This standoff opens many questions and is an anxiety raising moment.

The cyclical nature of history is frightening. It’s also comforting, because it provides us with the lessons to make wiser decisions now than we did in the past. An awareness of history is perhaps the greatest weapon we have. The pursuit of peaceful resolution has become a hallmark of modern international relations; let’s hope now we don’t forget history’s ghosts. It might just be what saves us from another war.

Do you agree with Michael in that we can prevent a large scale war with Russia? Is force the only viable option to stop the Russian invasion of Ukraine?

Do you believe that the United States and Europe can put enough pressure on Putin economically to halt his aggression? Send all feedback to opinion@ dailycardinal.com.

6 • Weekend, March 6-9, 2014

readers’ choice dailycardinal.com • 7

MOST MISSED

BEST MEXICAN FOOD Los Gemelos will never disappoint you.

Whether you just want a gordita late at night or a burrito meal that will feed you three times, you won’t go wrong. It doesn’t have the glitz of other spots but it doesn’t need it when you’re getting some of the most authentic Mexican food you could find in the region. Your money goes a long way too. Try some of their dishes you won’t find in typical Americanized Mexican restaurants like pastor tacos, sopes or bistec encebollado.

Thirsty? Get the classic horchata or a Mexican beer. But even after all that, what keeps many coming back is the service that makes you feel at home. Gracias Diana! 244 W. Gilman.

BEST WISCONSIN BREWERY Last year, the New Glarus Brewing Company celebrated its 20th anniversary, an occasion well merited. When you think craft brewing in Wisconsin, you think New Glarus. Founded by brewing enthusiasts Dan and Deborah Carey in 1993, the company has come to occupy a prominent part of Wisconsin’s quaffing culture. Their brewery is also a treat, should you find yourself down in New Glarus, Wis. Made to look like a Bavarian village, the facility is welcoming to both residents and visitors.New Glarus offers a variety of beers that range from simple brews to more complex concoctions. Along with a roster of year-round beers, the brewery also offers a host of seasonal brews and specialty beers. To spare you, dear reader, from wracking your brains on the multitude of options, here is a list of the best yearround, seasonal and specialty beers offered by New Glarus.

Best Year-Rounds: Spotted Cow is far and away New Glarus’ most popular beer, a cloudy farmhouse ale whose fullness belies its light golden color, and is one of New Glarus’ easiest beers. For people interested in hoppier beers, Moon Man offers itself as an exemplary, flavorful session beer.

Best Seasonals: Since we’re still in the middle of winter, why not pick up something filling and hearty, like the Snowshoe Red Ale or the heavenly Coffee Stout? As the snow thaws, keep an eye out for summer sippers like Hometown Blonde and Dancing Man Wheat. And as fall rolls around, be sure to keep an eye out for the Staghorn Octoberfest.

Best Specialty Beers: New Glarus is adept at making fruit beers, which they sell by the (750 ml) bottle. Year-round highlights include Belgian Red Cherry beer and Rasberry Tart. And be sure to keep an eye out for when they roll out their special Serendipity and Strawberry Rhubarb beers.

graphic by haley henschel and dylan moriarty

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BEST CITY PARK

Osaka House is one of downtown Madison’s finest Japanese restaurants.

With a comprehensive menu that ranges from unique specialty roles to a hearty hibachi dish, Osaka has meals to satiate a wide range of tastes. The restaurant also has a prime location, sitting in the heart of downtown Madison on State Street. One of the only drawbacks of the restaurant is the service, as it sometimes can take a while after ordering to receive your meal.

However, Osaka makes up for this with its second floor that serves as a Sake Bar. On any given weekend night you can make your way up to the bar for a wide selection of drinks accompanied by booming pop music. If you are looking for great food, good drinks and have an hour or so for dinner, Osaka House is the place for you.

Vilas Park is quite worth the walk. It’s located on the north shore of Lake Wingra next to Henry Vilas Zoo and is one of Madison’s oldest parks. It features beaches, many fishing sites, two piers and a bike path.

In the warmer months, kids choose between two playgrounds near a grassy area ideal for picnics, softball games, keg ball and general frolicking. During the winter, intrepid parkgoers can skate on the frozen lagoon or start a pick-up ice hockey game on one of the rinks.

Vilas Park also has a bridge excellent for staring off into the distance, contemplating life and feeding the ducks. Life is simple, here.

Your worries will escape you.

BEST DIVE BAR Drumroll please. The winner of the Best Dive Bar award goes to... the one place you can get 2-4-1 everything tropical...Tiki Shack! It’s a bit grungy and sticky but that’s kind of the schtick. It’s a party in (Honolulu/St. Kitts/The Bahamas) every night. A nice little dream to enjoy. The kitsch will keep you coming back. A lot of Cardinal staff members seem to enjoy Tiki Shack too, but most don’t quite remember what it’s like...126 State St.

BEST UW CAMPUS SEX FANTASY

emily buck/the daily cardinal

Who doesn’t love sexual intercourse in one of the most desolate, cold, debilitating and utterly silent spots on all of campus? Ooh baby, ooh baby.

But really, those who have tried the Memorial Union cages, we commend you! For those willing to try it, we salute you! If you can actually have pleasurable sex in this spot, you’re probably meant for each other. We just feel bad for whatever unlucky student occupies the spot next. No one likes starting off their study sesh with a desk covered in cum. That’s just the worst.

BEST UNSANCTIONED UW SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT Not to be confused with another media establishment, The Badger Harold, (yes, Harold, like, Harry,) runs a somewhat underrated Twitter account, sharing the top news headlines of the day, such as “Voter Advocacy Groups Concerned About Influence Of Super PAC’s in Today’s Associated Students of Madison Elections,” or “Wrestling Tournament Concludes, City of Madison Given All Clear To Come Out From Hiding.” It’s smart, witty and subtle, which is a breath of fresh air in the UW social media world. Keep up the funny, whatever your real name is. Follow him @The BadgerHarold on Twitter and turn the page for a question and answer with the guy himself.

BEST MARCHING BAND CHANT

e asked. You voted. We present to you the 2014 Readers’ Choice Awards Winners. From food carts to drink specials and sushi to sex spots, it doesn’t get better than this. Thanks, readers, for speaking up!

BEST SUSHI

photo courtesy of the badger harold

courtney kessler/cardinal file photo

BEST HIPSTER BAR We thought that our staff liked Plaza Tavern a little too much but it turns out you all do too. Winning “best hipster bar” as well as “best drink special” it’s impossible to beat their $2 Long Islands on Thursdays. If you’re not a Long Island fan (what’s wrong with you?), they also have $3.00 craft pints Thursdays as well. We suppose these two awards do go hand-in-hand, by the Black Keys

BEST DANCE SPOT Congrats, State Street Brats—You’ve won for Best Dance Spot and Best Sconnie Bar. Your double-win shows you are the best of both worlds. During daylight, your Wisconsin-y decor, brats and burgers, Wisco taps and ceramic cows should make any scon-

“If You Want to be a Badger, just come along with me/By the bright, shining light of, the light of the moon/If you want to be a badger, just come along with me/By the bright shining light, of… the motherfucking moon!” Need we say more?

jane thompson/the daily cardinal

BEST COFFEE SHOP Once upon a time, in the magical land of delicious coffees, there stood the modest Indie Coffee. Well-equipped with scents to make your mouth salivate from the waffles to the caffeine-indulgent coffee, Indie Coffee is the coffee shop equivalent of that cool hipster kid you make fun of but really wish you were. As you become enveloped by the cozy,atmosphere, you may hear the strum of a guitar and some sweet crooning. For yes, there is indeed live music on occasion. All in all, Indie Coffee is an obscure and wonderful place. If you have the chance, you should absolutely stop in at least for an enormous cuppa joe. But remember, I knew about it before you. #hipsterista. 1225 Regent Street.

BEST DRINK SPECIAL on the jukebox and the alternative hairstyles on Thursday nights. Heck, you go to Plaza on Thursdays because all the other specials just don’t understand your outstanding uniqueness. What came first—the $2 Long Island?

Or the hipster? It’s a mystery to us, and the evolution of this could warrant a Ph.D thesis.

If you’re actually a hipster though you probably go on Wednesdays... 319 N. Henry St.

BEST SCONNIE BAR nie feel at home. At night, Brats’ upstairs transforms into party-central. Good jamz, good space, good crowdz. Maybe the only place you can dance like you’re from Wisco and it’s all good. 5-for-5 and Flip Nights are pretty rad, too. 603 State St.

PRETTIEST BUILDING ON BASCOM HILL Golly gee, Science Hall, you sure are beautiful. Although you make us burn as many calories getting to your first floor as climbing the entirety of Bascom Hill, it’s all worth it.

Science Hall, you’re the real deal. Your continuous round arches, grand stairwell and red brick masonry make you a unique beauty on campus.

Wow, this is starting to sound like a porno. Or maybe just a PG-rated love poem? But really, your beauty is not just superficial, your waters run deep. You have ghosts that meander around inside from the time you had people playing with cadavers, and you curiously are the only building with a period at the end of your name.

What other stories hide inside you? I hope Bascom Hall isn’t jealous, but let’s face it, it’s about time you got the attention you deserve.

Dobra Tea served exotic loose-leaf tea— with giant pots of water people could drink while relaxing on the shop’s big, comfy cushions in a space that just wasn’t as loud and bustling as its neighbors. But alas, part of the tragedy of Dobra is the fact the stuff that made it awesome is probably what put it out of business. Nonetheless, here’s to hoping former Dobra owner Adam Ernst wants to open another shop soon. In the meantime, tea drinkers can consider checking out Matcha Tea House on Monroe, Jade Mountain on East Johnson and the Steepery on State. RIP, Dobra, and RIP to the others we have lost— The Play Circle, Logan’s, Mad Dog’s, Buraka, Taco Bell... the list goes on...

emily buck/the daily cardinal

stephanie daher/cardinal file photo

wil gibb/cardinal file photo

BEST FOOD CART Madisonians love food carts. They’re a daily staple on Library Mall during the spring, summer and fall. However, it appears that Madisonians especially love one food cart above the rest. There were 21 options for Madison’s best food cart on the Readers’ Choice survey but Banzo was readers’ favorite by a landslide, receiving nearly one-fourth of the votes. This is not because the rest of the food carts suck (most of them are really good), it’s just that Banzo is really, really awesome. While its menu may be small, the options are pretty dang tasty. Customers order in two steps, first choosing what they want (including chicken, kabobs and falafel)

and then how they want it (maybe on a pita, a platter or with hummus). To be honest though, most people come for the falafel. The falafel is freaking awesome—fresh, moist, flavorful and green. If there had been a falafel option on survey, Banzo would’ve probably won that too.

Get your falafel prepared with The Platter option, which includes homemade chips, hummus, pita and salad, for the best (and tastiest) value. If you have been going through Banzo withdrawal during this too-cold winter, make the trek to Banzo’s restaurant on Sherman Avenue . They deliver too! And seriously, try the falafel!

FAVORITE PAUL

BEST SMOKE SHOP

The slickest bar on State Street, Paul’s Club beat out the other Pauls, (Paul’s Pel’meni, Paul’s Books and Mayor Paul Soglin), to win the “Favorite Paul” award.

Known in particular for the mummified tree that spans the ceiling, the loungy atmosphere that feels a bit Manhattany, and the creative shots like the 7-1-5, this place is coveted. If you’re not 21, don’t even try. Paul’s, with one of the more distinctive identities, is one of those Capitol Square bars that just happens to be on State instead. A quick nod to the losers of this category: in our opinion, this was one of the most competitive categories of this Readers’ Choice. Pel’meni and Books are also some of the finest establishments in the city. And hey, Soglin has been our mayor for a lifetime. Maybe the secret to success is being named Paul. 204 State St.

Established in 1972, Pipefitter, one of the oldest businesses on State, is the place to go to get all your smoking accessories ( for tobacco, of course). Also, if you ever really need anything you absolutely do not need, Pipefitter will have it for you. From shot glasses that look like prescription bottles, to a card deck about farts, to about 40 moustache-related products, this store is a treasure chest. Oh, and beautifully handblown pipes. What is marijuana? 520 State St.

BEST NOW PROFESSIONAL BADGER PLAYER

In 2011, the Badgers prayers had been answered. After looking for a quarterback to lead the Badgers, a play-making Russell Wilson with one year of eligibility remaining came from North Carolina State. Wilson passed for 33 touchdowns, good for fifth all-time at UW. He earned first-team All-Big Ten and led Wisconsin to the Rose Bowl after becoming Big Ten champions. He went on to be drafted 75th overall in the 2012 National Football League Draft and was named starting quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks. In his first year, he led his team to the divisional round of the NFL playoffs and was named Rookie of the Year. Then, on Feb. 2, 2014 Wilson earned a Super Bowl ring after dominating the Denver Broncos. Also, Wilson has recently spent time playing baseball with the Texas Rangers.

jane thompson/the daily cardinal

BEST BRUNCH SPOT There’s nothing quite like the classic breakfast for brunch. Who needs gruyere when you can get a giant stack of pancakes or scrambler to feed you for the entire week. And that’s just one reason why Mickies Dairy Bar won Best Brunch Spot. Sweet tooth? Go for a shake or malt. When inside it’s as if the year is 1959.

Just don’t get confused by the 1950s menu—if you ask for liver sausage for 0.45 cents you will probably get some stares. On weekends go as early as possible—6 a.m. early, or else be prepared to wait your turn. 1151 Monroe St.

BEST CHEAP CHINESE FOOD Asian Kitchen, we mean cheap as a compliment, we promise. Asian Kitchen is tasty and affordable. It satisfies that craving without biting into too much of our wallets.

Although eating a meal at the restaurant itself is sort of an odd experience, (we didn’t know that color of yellow existed...) who has ever not ordered their cheap Chinese to-go? It’s a go-to to-go for our staff. Some of our favorites include Kung Pao Chicken, Mongolian Beef, Pepper Steak with Onions and General Tso Tofu. What’s your favorite? 449 State St.

BEST UW TRADITION

stephanie daher/cardinal file photo

Beer on The Terrace, nothing quite like it, if we do say so ourselves. While the popularity of this choice may have come from the Seasonal Affective Disorder that has befallen upon all of campus, there is no denying that the Memorial Union Terrace takes up a special place in all of our Badger hearts. And that getting to enjoy a good ol’ pitcher of (Spotted Cow/ Fixed Gear/ PBR) at the only college union in the country to serve alcohol, is a pretty magical combination.

While all the improvements last summer gave the terrace a face lift, we really love it so much because our Badger forefathers did, too.

readers’ choice 8

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Weekend, March 6-9, 2014

dailycardinal.com

What you said

Best campus tradition?

“Plotting to steal a Union chair” —Leslie Boey “Graduation! Abe’s lap... Finally!”—Nicole Hare

So it appears we forgot important choices for some of our categories.

Forgive us. Here is what you wrote.

Best smoke shop?

“My weed dealer” —“Rick Burgerson” “Rick,” we know who you are.

Best Mexican food?

Best now professional Badger? “ugh sports I can’t”— Emilia Burns “Please see my favorite chant.”— Arianna Dunmire

Best UW Marching Band Chant?

Best campus sex fantasy?

“Chipotle —this applies to any city with a Chipotle.”—Nate Bear

Favorite Paul? “me”—Paul Davidson “Paul the TA I had for African American Literature— You have the most gorgous hands”— Rachel Fettig “Clearly Paul Bunyan Room (now it’s gone :( )” —Nicole Hare, Nicole, it’s returning soon! We promise.

“Why are there so many Paul’s?­”—Megan Zanillo.

Megan, we’re not quite sure, either.

“18th floor Van Hise”­—Megan Zanillo “Middle of Camp Randall Field”—Martin Babcock “ Picnic Point”—Nicole Hare “B101 dance studio in Lathrop”—Arianna Dunmire “Chey Langkamp’s bedroom” —Chey Langkamp’s frIend, Olivia Sealy “The ASM chair/vice chair’s office in the SAC”—This person refuses to reveal their identity but it is speculated that they work for ASM

Best hipster bar?

“SWINGTOWN!”—Many people. Sorry for forgetting this gem, y’all.

“Fuck this, I hate football.”—Arianna Dunmire “ugh sports I can’t” —Emilia Burns

“It’s a place nobody knows about yet...”

—Brock Manning “I’m too hipster for hipster bars.”—Nate Bear “You probably haven’t heard of it.”

—This person was too much of a hipster to give us their name.

“Wando’s”—Andrew Brandt

Best Sconnie bar?

“No such thing”—Brian Edwards “MEH”—Emilia Burns

Best survey-taker The Daily Cardinal is proud to present to you Jake Wievel, a hilarious human being, proven so by his astute answers to our survey questions.

Major: Landscape Architecture Year: Senior Hometown: Stevens Point A little about himself: “I eat, sleep, breathe, think and drink.”

And his answers: Best coffee shop? Espresso Royale. Great smiles. photo courtesy of jake wievel Best cheap Chinese food? How cheap are we talkin’?

Best hipster bar? Plurrzurr... Some dude bit my ass there once.

Most missed? Library Mall.

Best now professional Badger? Dick Cheney.

Best campus sex fantasy? Historical Society Reading Room... purely fantastic atmosphere. Really friendly staff.

Best unsanctioned UW social media account? Helen C. White bathroom stall walls.

Favorite Paul? St. Vincent De Paul.

Most missed?

“The full-length mirror in the ladies’ locker room at the Shell” —Leslie Boey “TACO BELL!!!!!” “TACO FRAEKIN’ BELL “—Everyone “500 block of State Street”—Also, everyone

Best food cart?

“The one with the food” —Leslie Boey

Best dance spot?

“House party”—Paul Davidson “Library Mall... where the hula hoops, weird light shows, psychotic religious preachers, and random instrumental groups form a melting pot of their own.”—Megan Zanillo “In the crosswalk between University and Frances” —Leslie Boey ‘Segredos. LOL.”—Kayla Schmidt, DC Copy Chief “Lathrop hall all day everyday #dancemajor” —Arianna Dunmire graphics by haley henschel

Q&A with Badger Harold, unsanctioned tweeter Daily Cardinal: How was the Badger Harold conceived?

Badger Harold: To be honest, I don’t remember, exactly. One Sunday night I was sitting around my apartment with my roommates diligently not doing our homework and just kind of began writing headlines for a fake paper. The name, logo and about eight titles came within the first few minutes. It’s been all downhill ever since.

DC: Love the name. Is it a reference to something?

BH: In 2008 there was a movie called “Harold.” This is the synopsis on IMDB: “A teenager with an early onset of malepattern baldness befriends his high school’s janitor.” That pretty much speaks for itself. The movie poster itself is worth checking out, FYI. That movie is completely unrelated but is the first thing that came up when I typed “Harold” into Google just now. My lawyer advises me to wrap this question up.

DC: Are you willing to reveal your true identity?

BH: Sure. It’s not much of a secret. The anonymity of it has been more due to the lack of pressure than anything, so I never have gone public as I feel like that would make it more complicated, more about me

and less fun. It also seems to come easier knowing that a joke can flop and it doesn’t matter at all. It’s kind of nice to just be able to walk away from it at anytime. I really come up with headlines on the fly and irregularly, so I would hate to be a conformist media pig with a schedule on my back as I slave away to meet the demands of the public. Plus, how could I keep the babes at bay? I would have to worry about that full time, probably hire a staff just for babe-patrol. Here’s the other thing about anonymity, specifically Batman’s, while I’m thinking about it. Bruce Wayne is pretty much the only person in Gotham that can afford anything mildly close to a bullet-proof suit/car, and also happens to be a weapons contractor. You’re telling me no one in Gotham City had the analytical thinking skills to sit down and figure that one out? No wonder they had so many problems.

DC: How about social security number?

BH: 879-29-12393. I prefer to think of identity theft as “identity improvement.”

DC: What was the process for coming up with that logo? It’s quite easy on the eyes...

BH: Well I took out a pencil and wrote

the letters for The Badger Harold on the nearest piece of paper. Then I took a picture and uploaded it to the Internet where it lives on in infamy. Absolutely am accepting submissions for a new one.

DC: What is your greatest inspiration?

BH: When I was younger my parents always hoped I would grow up to run a mildly interesting and relatively trivial social media account, so I mostly do it for them. I also received a letter in the mail at age six that said I had won a sweepstakes.

But because I was six, it was an error and they revoked my winnings. I have spent my whole life overcoming that loss and training to one day take back what is mine in hand-to-hand combat.

DC: What is your favorite Twitter hashtag?

BH: #godisdead #nothingisreal DC: What are your hobbies?

BH: Chicks, postmodern and existential literature, booze cruises, epistemic crises, texting chicks, not couponing, giving to charity, watching my roommates watch AMC’s The Walking Dead (sponsored), expressing my innermost emotions, drywall and spackling, tutoring in math, poundin’ brews, the usual stuff. Oh and

I’m great with kids.

DC: Favorite food?

BH: My body is a temple, so donuts, queso, fried (anything). My body is a temple to poor decisions.

DC: What’s your greatest pet peeve?

BH: Anonymous Internet accounts.

No accountability in this generation, we’ll never amount to anything.

DC: What’s better—Facebook or Twitter?

BH: I’m more of a Google Plus kinda guy when I’m not using Myspace.

DC: Any plans to expand operations to other social medias? Instagram?

Tinder?

BH: I do not have a plan for the rest of the day, for myself, so such scheming would be unprecedented. I kind of just made the account and let it play on its own, but I wouldn’t be opposed to getting [Harold] a Tinder and letting it flirt with other social media accounts. Actually, the big plan is to create Haroldspace ™ coming May 2014, a social media platform that deletes everything you put into it. It’s like snapchat for Facebook. Gonna be big.

DC: Favorite social media device?

BH: Haroldspace ™ coming May 2014.

comics

Gee, North Korea sounds like fun! In the 1990s, all teachers in North Korea were required to play the accordion.

dailycardinal.com

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Seahorsin’ Around

It’s a potty in the USA

Today’s Sudoku

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By Merrick Jacobson mljacobson3@wisc.edu

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Solution, tips and computer program available at www.sudoku.com.

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Today’s Crossword Puzzle

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w.sudoku.com

3 Art of folding paper 5 56 Harp of yore 57 They often involve many phone calls 61 Green-eyed monster 62 Smallest margin of victory?

63 Puts money in the pot 64 Abound 65 Practice punches 66 Hon

# 70 6 DOWN 7 1 Animal in a warren 5 2 The Munster family car 3 3 All fancied up Big name in 2 4 sneakers 4 5 Always, poetically 6 First Greek letter 9 7 “Bye for now” Circle segments 8 8 9 Hebrides terrier 1 10 Selected

11 Romanian currency 12 Hockey legend Bobby 13 “Are we there ___?”

18 Speakers, essentially 19 Muffet morsel 23 Fake bedding item?

25 Capital of Switzerland 26 Exploited

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27 Dosage amt.

29 Lord’s Prayer word 30 Scissors sound effect 31 Without faith in God 33 Football players can take one 34 Part of TGIF 36 Picked up the tab 37 With a bow, in music 38 Half hitch, for one 39 Words said at an 1 altar 6 9 2 7 5 42 0 Wing 4 1of a8building 5 3 43 Person for whom named 5 something 9 4 3 is 6 2 44 One who bluffs a 6 dealer?

2 7 9 3 8 46 Camry maker 3 who 6 5 4 in9 48 7 One brings 7 the 5 bucks 8 1 2 6 48 Suitable for evening 9 wear 7 3 4 8 1 50 Spicy condiment 4 1 spelling 5 6 for 9 a7 51 One mideast prince 3 8 2 7 1 4 54 Tiny particles 55 Unappetizing cafeteria serving 56 Word with “punch”or “ticket” 57 Voided tennis shot 58 Slender figure?

59 Hail, to Horatio 60 Wee bit

By Marc Gannon

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Caption That!

Answer key available at www.dailycardinal.com

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4 1 8 23 Night vision 5 2 8 6 9 1 24 Counter by argument 9 4 5 3 8 7 28 Grow choppers 38 0 Blue 7 state 9 1 6 5 32 Listening, in times 6 of3yore 1 7 5 2 35 Agent, briefly 7 5 6 2working 4 3 36 Physically off a debt 2 8 4 9 7 6 40 A friend may lend one 41 Give an answer 42 It grants permission to drive 45 Like an active chimney sweep 49 Drug used to treat Parkinson’s 50 Stone paving block 52 Paddle kin

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7 5 Evil Bird Classic

HARD

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Apathetic and Unambitious Vintage 2005

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8 7 By Kelly Rainer 1 graphics@dailycardinal.com 4 Slacker Days Vintage 2005 7 9 9 7 8 3 4 5 3 7 6 6 8 7

HARD Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and# 69 every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

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What the WUUUT is going on in this Daily Cardinal archives photo?! SO to Vince H. for getting us in the know.

See you Monday for another Caption That!

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24 Jul 05 *holds Z + down* *launches green shell*

other news 10

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Weekend, March 6-9, 2014

dailycardinal.com

ASM breaks voter turn out record with 14 people

By Andy Holsteen The Daily Cardinal

The University of Wisconsin-Madison’s student government, the Associated Students of Madison, was pleased to report a record turnout for their most recent election period, which concluded Wednesday evening. A whopping 14 people decided to “show their true badger” by rocking the vote.

“This is a wonderful development,” somebody, Secretary of something, said. “Knowing a few students actually care about what we do in ASM makes me smile inside.”

Newly elected candidates, who begged their friends and classmates to take the minute or so required to fill out the online ballot, were ecstatic Graphic by Haley Henschel

Exhibit A: The very Wahl Groomsman® Beard & Mustache Trimmer you use on your face every day. It turns out that your roommate has been shaving his genitals with this high-powered razor for months.

Breaking: Roommate uses your electric razor to shave his pubes

By Brett Klinkner The Daily Cardinal

Abominable eyewitness reports have confirmed your roommate has been using your personal, facial-designated electric razor to shave his genital region.

The devastating news broke around 11 a.m. at your apartment, shortly after a third party followed the soft hum of a Wahl Groomsman® Beard & Mustache Trimmer Model 9906-717 to find a freshlymanscaped, college-aged male standing above a pube-strewn bathroom floor.

“He wasn’t even using a guard. He didn’t even have the common courtesy to use a guard!” said the visibly rattled eyewitness who has chosen to remain anonymous.

The heinous reports noted that this seems to be only one incident in a long line of similar transgressions, dating back almost seven months and occurring exclusively while you were just sitting in class, oblivious.

Local law enforcement has confiscated the cordless Wahl razor and lab tests are being run to verify a link between the alleged perpetrator and the pubic matter

cultivated by the razor blades.

“There has been no conclusive evidence that butt-shaving was involved,” District Attorney Angela Watts said. “However, if such a revelation presents itself then this case could jump from a six-months-plus-probation type of deal to a potential twenty-five-to-life scenario.”

Sources close to the situation have reported that pressing charges may seem like the best route, but think about keeping your options open and seeking revenge by shitting in his pillowcase or pissing on his desk chair or something.

UWPD breaks up onion ring

By Kane Kaiman the daily cardinal

Three of the 55 hopelessly out-of-shape cops that make up the University of WisconsinMadison Police Department broke up an onion ring saturday night so they could all enjoy its savory fried flavor.

The onion ring, one of 35, was the last morsel of food from an obscenely large Falbo Bros Pizzeria order that included four large meat-lovers pizzas, 20 breadsticks, 15 Jalapeno Poppers and something called a “Falzone.” When the policemen realized that only a single ring remained, they decided to break it up into three equally greasy parts.

U W-Mad i s o n Po l i c e Department Chief Sandra Rousling, who saw the operation unfold first-hand, says she’s proud of what the officers accomplished Saturday.

“That’s police cooperation, right there,” Rousling

said, completely unaware of the dried spaghetti sauce on her left cheek. “My boys knew they had to break that ring up no matter what. I mean, those things are so good, they ought to be illegal.”

According to the three heavy-set policemen, the onion ring nearly went unnoticed.

“I was still a little hungry after we ate, so I started to investigate all the old food wrappers strewn around our desks,” Sergeant John Chambers said between bites of a Long John donut. “I was really digging around trying to get to the bottom of all of it. We take pride in being very thorough here at the department, so I checked every bag. It took me a good minute to uncover that ring, but the extra effort paid off. It always does in this line of work.”

Officer Martin Wells said he was excited when Chambers discovered the ring, but was a little disappointed after they

broke it up.

“Was it good? Yeah,” Wells said, rubbing his bloated stomach. “But I’ve broken up bigger rings than that in my career.”

The last policeman to get a piece of the onion ring was Officer Greg Feld. He says breaking up rings like these is commonplace at the UWMadison Police Department.

“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” Feld said, wiping his greasy fingers on his uniform trousers. “We do this all the time.

You know, my old partner and I broke up a fried calamari ring once. Now, that’s more of a white-collar type of ring right there. I don’t know the streetvalue of calamari off hand, but it’s up there.”

At press time, Daily Cardinal moles deep within the UW-Madison Police Department reported that the three officers, hungry once again, were engaged in an all night steak-out.

about the massive increase in student voting.

“I WON!?! I WON!?! DOES THIS MEAN I’M ILLUMINATI NOW?!?!” the spastic winners howled in unison.

Several sources believe the Recreational Sports Master Plan referendum, a widely advertised proposal to drastically expand facilities such as the Natatorium and SERF, was responsible for wrangling in at least three additional voters.

“Next year, I bet we could get 15 or even 16 students to care about voting for ASM representatives,” Viceroy Nute Gunray said. “But tonight, I think we’re all going to revel in this special moment and let it sink in that we just made history. We did it, guys!”

Incredibly talented masked villian terrorizes NBA

By Zachary R. Clark The daily cardinal

On Wednesday morning, sources from the National Basketball Association confirmed that attempts to apprehend and unmask the unidentified fiend terrorizing Miami Heat home-games had been a spectacular failure. All told, 83 arena security officers and soda vendors were hospitalized in this most recent attempt, creating uproar across the country and demands for government intervention into the situation.

“This individual has inflicted an unprecedented amount of damage on our league. Kobe Bryant is still missing, though we have received ransom demands stating he would be released if Kobe’s MVP awards, championships, and All Star statistics were transferred over to LeBron James.

At this point we’re just weighing our options,” said NBA commissioner Adam Silver.

While many have speculated that the true identity of this nefarious titan of basketball related

crime was LeBron James himself, sources close to the oh-so humble King James confirmed today that he is completely innocent.

“No, Bronzy pinky promised me at last week’s team sleepover he didn’t know anything about Basket-Man. And that man, who is beautiful, honest, and generous in both body and spirit, would never lie to me, as we are besties,” said a starry eyed Chris Bosh at an association ice cream social.

When asked for further commentary, King James told this reporter, “Nope, not sure what you all are talking about. Just playing B-ball, winning championships, healing my broken nose, sure do love this mask. Shame they asked me to change the color to clear, definitely didn’t have a nice black leather cape picked out or anything like that.”

At press time, Dwight Howard and Tim Duncan reported acts of vandalism being committed against them: “Loser’s don’t get to be champs,” having been carved into their front doors.

dailycardinal.com

Weekend, March 6-9, 2014

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11

Wrestling

Big Ten wrestling championship preview ture the first Big Ten tournament title in school history this weekend, they are set to finish in the middle of the standings and could even finish as high as fourth. In a stacked field, finishing fourth would be a remarkable accomplishment.

Compiled by Jim Dayton

T

his weekend, the best wrestlers from the nation’s best wrestling conference will take to the mats as Wisconsin hosts the 2014 Big Ten Conference Championships.

The two-day event will take place Saturday and Sunday at the Kohl Center. In the latest InterMat College Rankings, the Big Ten boasted 10 schools in the Top 25 and a remarkable 27 individual wrestlers ranked within the Top 5 of their respective weight classes.

With intense competition ahead, The Daily Cardinal takes a team-by-team look at the tournament and spotlights the top wrestlers to watch.

Wisconsin (5-3 Big Ten, 12-6

overall) No. 13 Wisconsin had an upand-down regular season. The Badgers have a similar middle ground resume as Illinois and Ohio State, but defeated both of these schools at the outset of conference play. UW narrowly toppled the Fighting Illini in December in the Badgers’ home opener, 19-18, and at the next home match the Badgers defeated the Buckeyes 22-15. By defeating the two conference schools with the most comparable track records, Wisconsin has proven itself to be an above average team in the Big Ten. Though Iowa, Minnesota and Northern Iowa were all uncompetitive losses, Wisconsin is certainly not a weak team. Ranked No. 13 in the nation, Wisconsin’s strong record is not bolstered with easy victories over feeble non-conference opponents. The Badgers have six wins against schools currently ranked in the Top 25, and defeated ranked nonconference foes North Dakota State and Virginia.

Wisconsin also handily won the Navy Classic Open in November.

Though the Badgers will not cap-

Illinois (3-5, 10-9)

Illinois is the classic example of a decent team that always defeats inferior opponents but struggles against better competition. The No. 20 Fighting Illini are ranked eighth in the Big Ten. Their three conference wins came against Michigan State, Northwestern and Purdue, each of whom are below Illinois in the conference standings.

However, aside from getting annihilated by perennial power Penn State, the Fighting Illini were competitive in the rest of their matches. They nearly defeated Cornell, Wisconsin and Ohio State, three programs that are currently ranked in the Top 15. Expect Illinois to finish somewhere in the middle at the conference tournament.

Indiana (0-8, 9-9)

It has been a rough campaign for the Hoosiers this season. They went winless in conference play, and were often blown out by the Big Ten’s elite.

Indiana’s only two competitive conference matches came against fellow cellar dwellers Michigan State and Purdue. Interestingly enough, despite the miserable record, the Hoosiers remain nationally ranked at No. 18. Indiana will likely finish at or near the bottom this weekend.

Iowa (7-1, 15-2)

One of the most dominating wrestling programs in NCAA history with 23 national championships, Iowa has remained true to form this season. The Hawkeyes are currently ranked No. 2 in the nation and have not stacked their resumes with victories over cupcake teams either.

Though their two losses came to Penn State and Minnesota, Iowa emphatically defeated four current Top 15 schools in Nebraska, Northwestern, Oklahoma State and Wisconsin. Iowa also captured the overall title at the Midlands. The Hawkeyes are a true contender as they look to win their 33rd conference tournament championship.

Wrestlers to watch for Isaac Jordan Wisconsin, 157 pounds

Tony Ramos Iowa, 133 pounds

Tyler Graff Wisconsin, 133 pounds

Adam Coon Michigan, heavyweight

A redshirt freshman, Jordan went undefeated in the Big Ten this year and is ranked No. 2 in the nation at his weight.

Graff, a three-time AllAmerican, finished third at the 2013 NCAA Championships and won the ASICS University National Championships last May.

David Taylor Penn State, 165 pounds

A three-time All-American, Taylor won the NCAA Championship in 2012 and has never lost against a Big Ten opponent.

This may be the year for Ramos, who was runner-up each of the past two seasons at the Big Ten Championships.

Coon is a true freshman that is currently ranked No. 1 in the country for his weight class.

Nick Dardanes Minnesota, 149 pounds

Dardanes went 30-2 this season, improving upon a 2012’13 campaign in which he finished seventh in the NCAA Championships last season in Des Moines, Iowa.

Michigan (6-2, 11-4)

While the Wolverines seem to be just one step below the upper echelon of the conference, they have also proved they can defeat the nation’s best. Michigan is 5-2 against the current Top 25. Their most impressive win came in January when they defeated Minnesota.

However, Michigan also suffered staggering February defeats at the hands of Iowa and Penn State. The Wolverines should finish near the top, and are a dark horse contender if they can move past their recent one-sided losses.

Michigan State (1-7, 8-10)

Like Indiana, the Spartans began the season on a solid note before hitting conference play.

Michigan State’s crowning achievement this year was winning the Cradle Gear Invitational in December, in which they were one of 10 participating schools. Once the Big Ten schedule commenced, however, the Spartans quickly fell apart. Their seven conference losses were all lopsided routs, and their only victory came versus the lowly Hoosiers. Michigan State is a clear bottom feeder in the Big Ten. The best they can do this weekend is not finish last.

Minnesota (7-1, 14-1)

Minnesota is one of the nation’s best, currently ranked No. 3 overall.

Its slew of impressive wins gives it one of the strongest resumes in the country. The Gophers pulled off hard-fought victories against Iowa and Penn State, winning 19-15 and 18-17, respectively. Minnesota has also defeated Cornell, Iowa State, North Dakota State, Northwestern and Wisconsin. The loss to Michigan is the only blemish on an otherwise perfect record, and the Gophers will look to capture their first conference tournament title since 2007, and 11th overall.

Nebraska (6-2, 12-2)

Despite a somewhat limited sample size, with only 14 matches,

Nebraska has still proven itself to be a strong conference program.

The Cornhuskers are ranked No. 10 in the country and could be even higher had it not been for a crushing Senior Night loss to Michigan, an outcome decided via tiebreaker.

Nebraska’s only other loss was a 22-9 decision against Iowa in January. Otherwise, the Huskers have dominated their competition.

Their most impressive win was a 28-12 victory on the road against Ohio State, and they also won the Reno Tournament of Champions in December. However, considering they did not wrestle Minnesota or Penn State, and their loss to Iowa, the Cornhuskers’ ability to break into true championship form is unknown. Expect the Huskers to finish around fourth or fifth.

Northwestern (1-7, 9-7)

Northwestern is another one of the lower-tier teams in the Big Ten. The Wildcats’ lone conference victory came against Indiana, and they were mostly noncompetitive in their seven losses.

Perhaps the shining moment for the Wildcats was finishing seventh at their own tournament that featured several Big Ten programs, the Midland Championships. The Wildcats wrestled the Badgers competitively in late January, one of the few conference matches in which they were not blown out.

Northwestern should finish in the lower half this weekend.

Ohio State (4-4, 13-5)

Ohio State is perhaps the best example of a very good team whose weaknesses became exposed once conference play began. The Buckeyes, like Illinois, are clearly on middle ground in the Big Ten. When these two middling teams faced each other in January, the Buckeyes squeaked out an 18-16 win.

Ohio State struggled mightily against superior programs like Nebraska, Penn State and its top rival Michigan. Their overall record was boosted by victories

over inferior teams, and their conference record is much more indicative of their ability. The Buckeyes will likely finish sixth or seventh.

Purdue (1-7, 6-8)

While Purdue is certainly a lowly team in the conference, the Boilermakers could have a stronger record. They dropped narrow decisions against Illinois and Ohio State, two schools that are certainly a level ahead of Purdue. The Boilermakers finished their regular season with a 21-12 loss to Northern Iowa, which was ranked No. 5 in the nation at the time. Among the four weakest Big Ten teams, Purdue is probably the best and should finish inside the top 10 at the conference tournament.

Predicted to win the 2014 Big Ten Championship:

Penn State (7-1, 15-1)

Penn State forms a championship trio with Iowa and Minnesota. Though they lack the extensive wrestling histories of these two schools, the Nittany Lions are on a string of recent domination. They have won three consecutive conference titles and three consecutive national championships.

Penn State’s only setback this season was a narrow 18-17 loss at Minnesota, the only match the Nittany Lions found themselves in a down-to-the-wire situation.

Otherwise, they demolished all of their opponents by double digits.

Until someone can knock them off, the Nittany Lions remain the premier Big Ten wrestling school and the conference tournament favorite.

Sports

WEEKEND MARCH 6-9, 2014 DAILYCARDINAL.COM

Men’s Basketball

UW wins on senior night over Purdue

By Blake Duffin THE DAILY CARDINAL

CLAIRE LARKINS/THE DAILIY CARDINAL

Senior guard Ben Brust, along with two other seniors, played in their last home game as Badgers Wednesday against Purdue.

In a season defined by scoring records, win streaks and plenty of adversity, No. 9 Wisconsin (12-5 Big Ten, 25-5 overall) wrapped up its final home game with a team victory over Purdue.

“I think we were all focused on getting the job done because we know how much that makes it better for the seniors and then everyone collectively as a whole,” senior guard Ben Brust said.

The Badgers avoided another slow start Wednesday night and came out energized, working the ball around the perimeter and patiently finding open looks.

Earlier this week freshman forward Nigel Hayes said UW needed to stick to its defensive principles to be successful. The Badgers did exactly that, while Purdue struggled to get anything going in its set offense.

“We’ve always tried to attack them in transition. We’ve always tried to attack when we’ve had angles,” Purdue head coach Matt Painter said. “But once we went against their set defense, if you want

to go quick on them, you are going to play right into their hand.”

Midway through the first half UW paved its way to a double-digit lead, 19-8.

Purdue shot only 38.7 percent in the first half, while Wisconsin shot 48.3 percent from the floor and was 4-for-7 from beyond the arc.

Two of those 3-pointers came from junior guard Traevon Jackson, who led UW in scoring at the break with 12 points.

The Badger defense held the Boilermakers to only 24 firsthalf points, while holding sophomore center A.J. Hammons to only four. Wisconsin scored 20 points in the paint and were 0-for-6 from 3-point range.

Wisconsin controlled the majority of the first-half momentum and led 35-24 at the half.

Purdue looked to Hammons early in the second half, but the Badger defense refused to let him get into any type of rhythm.

UW also looked to their big men, with Hayes and junior forward Frank Kaminsky carrying much of The Badgers’ secondhalf production.

Kaminsky finished the game with a team-high 22 points and continues to be a nightmare for opponents. He was 8-for-11 from the floor with only 28 minutes of play.

“Frank [Kaminsky] has done a really good job of taking what the defense gives him,” Painter said.

“He does a good job picking his spots and anytime you can shoot it 11 times and get 22 points, that’s pretty efficient.”

In a game where the Badgers held a double-digit lead for the majority of the time, Purdue was able to claw their way back to within seven points with just under five minutes to play.

The Badgers would hold on to win, 76-70.

As requested by the always loud and excited Grateful Red, seniors Evan Anderson and Zach Bohannon checked into the game in the final minute. The two seniors, along with senior guard Ben Brust, were sent off with a standing ovation.

“Last year it was kind of tough sending the seniors out on a sour note and we didn’t want that to happen again,” Kaminsky said.

Men’s Hockey

Three Hobey Baker nominees highlight 2013-’14 Badgers

By Meghann Stelzner THE DAILY CARDINAL

On a Friday night in March 2012, Michigan goalie Shawn Hunwick lost his final collegiate hockey game.

Following the fateful overtime shot, Hunwick skated over to the opposing team’s bench and handed the puck over to its rightful owners.

The coach who took the puck called it the “classiest thing I’ve seen in 25 years of coaching.”

“That’s a Hobey,” said Hobey Baker Foundation Executive Director Jill Wagner. “It is just something you get a lump in your throat over.”

The Hobey Baker Memorial Award, founded in 1981, is the most prestigious award in NCAA men’s ice hockey. Named after a World War I veteran and the best amateur athlete of his day, the Hobey Baker award recognizes a player not simply for raw skill or leadership among his team, but the nominee is someone who “has it all.”

This year the University of Wisconsin-Madison men’s hockey team boasts three nominees: senior forward Michael Mersch, junior defenseman Jake McCabe and junior goalie Joel Rumpel.

“You need a young man who is a highly skilled, effective college hockey player,” Wisconsin head coach Mike Eaves said. “You need a guy that has excelled in the classroom, and a young man that is a man of character, who thinks about others as well as himself, when you look at your team.”

The winner is determined in three parts, first through fan voting then a selection committee from the Hobey Baker Foundation.

The 59 head hockey coaches of NCAA Division I schools first nominate the top three players in their league and the top three players in the nation. The fan ballot is then opened. The foundation tabulates

those ballots with the help of a consulting firm to choose the top ten finalists, according to Wagner.

The first phase of fan voting continues until March 9 and will open again March 20 with the top 10 finalists. After the second phase of voting commences, a committee of 30 hockey insiders, including referees, sports writers and former coaches, meet and announce the top three finalists, or “Hobey Hat Trick.”

Discussion among the committee ultimately dictates who will win the Hobey Baker. The award depends on a player’s character on and off the ice, and referees are a key part of the committee, knowing who is a good team player and who is not.

“Everyone on the committee takes this selection process very seriously,” Wagner said. “They may call and talk with the players, and they do a lot of analysis prior to the final conference call in which they determine the winner. It is much like fraternity or sorority rush.”

In 2010, Wisconsin had its first and only Hobey Baker winner in forward Blake Geoffrion.

“Besides having all of the qualities of a winner, the amazing thing about Blake that year was how consistent he was,” said Eaves. “Even when he was not getting goals and assists he was still helping the team in other ways.”

Geoffrion is not the only player who has gone through the Wisconsin hockey program embodying a man of great character.

“You know all these young guys, if I had a daughter I would let her date them,” said Eaves. “They are that good of young men.”

Rumpel is one of the biggest reasons for the Badgers’ success this season. He is the second leading goaltender in the Big Ten,

TOMMY YONASH/CARDINAL FILE PHOTO

TOMMY YONASH/CARDINAL FILE PHOTO

NICK MONFELI/CARDINAL FILE PHOTO

Senior forward Michael Mersch, senior defenseman Jake McCabe and junior goalie Joel Rumpel are all nominated for the Hobey Baker award, college hockey’s highest honor.

Wisconsin’s Most Valuable Player and the athlete Wisconsin has rallied around to be named as a finalist for the Hobey Baker.

According to senior forward Mark Zengerle, Rumpel is the team’s best chance at a Hobey Baker award this season.

“The team always comes first,” Rumpel said. “When a goalie gets nominated for the Hobey Baker, it feels like a team award because they are right in front of me, making me look good every single day.”

As a veteran leader on the team, Mersch takes pride around the net, standing as the second leading scorer in the Big Ten. For a guy who scores most of the team’s goals, Mersch’s humility shines.

Mersch never ceases to motivate other players in the locker room and always says the right thing,

according to McCabe.

As a captain, McCabe also embodies the Hobey spirit in many ways.

“At Wisconsin, with Coach Eaves and our coaching staff, we facilitate a culture that emphasizes hockey being more than just a good athlete,” said McCabe. “You have to take care of your studies ... It’s always nice to give back, get involved in the community and contribute on the ice as well.”

And contribute he does, though McCabe’s impact as a defenseman is often seen in intangible ways, blocking shots and fighting for the puck in the crease.

“As a goalie, McCabe is one of those guys that I rely on,” Rumpel said. “Off the ice, he is just an unbelievable person and someone who kids look up to.”

According to Eaves, all three Wisconsin nominees possess the character required to win the Hobey Baker. However, even though the award is the most coveted in collegiate hockey, it is not well known.

“In the mainstream of our society, you look at the Heisman because it’s football,” said Eaves. “Hockey is still relatively young. People don’t know about the Hobey.”

And while it is surely an honor to be recognized among the best college hockey players in the country, in the eyes of Wisconsin’s nominees their goal is still an NCAA national championship.

“Sure, you think about it,” Mersch said. “But when it comes to game-time, your focus is on the team goals. Your individual goals will then follow.”