SOAR 2010 - Monday, June 14, 2010 - The Daily Cardinal by The Daily Cardinal

DON’T WATCH BAD “SEX” “Sex in the City 2” review

University of Wisconsin-Madison

ARTS

PAGE 6

MADISON 101

The ins and outs of Madison government PGS 8-9

Complete campus coverage since 1892

dailycardinal.com

HYPING THE GRIDIRON Fall football preview

SPORTS

PAGE 15

Summer Registration Issue 2010

Caitlin Kirihara/the daily cardinal

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

page two 2

dailycardinal.com/page-two

Summer Registration Issue 2010

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892

Kevin is a poor, mentally scarred guinea pig

Volume 120, Issue 2

2142 Vilas Communication Hall 821 University Avenue Madison, Wis., 53706-1497 (608) 262-8000 l fax (608) 262-8100

News and Editorial edit@dailycardinal.com Editor in Chief Emma Roller Managing Editor Todd Stevens Campus Editor Kayla Johnson City Editor Maggie DeGroot State Editor Ariel Shapiro Enterprise Editor Alison Dirr Associate News Editor Beth Pickhard Senior News Reporter Jamie Stark Opinion Editors Dan Tollefson Samantha Witthuhn Editorial Board Chair Hannah Furfaro Arts Editors Jacqueline O’Reilly Jon Mitchell Sports Editors Mark Bennett Parker Gabriel Page Two Editor Victoria Statz Features Editor Madeline Anderson Photo Editors Danny Marchewka Ben Pierson Graphics Editors Caitlin Kirihara Natasha Soglin Multimedia Editors Eddy Cevilla Briana Nava Copy Chiefs Anna Jeon Margaret Raimann Nico Savidge Kyle Sparks Copy Editors Kevin Slane

Business and Advertising business@dailycardinal.com Business Manager Cole Wenzel Advertising Manager Blair Pollard Accounts Receivable Manager Michael Cronin Billing Manager Mindy Cummings Senior Account Executive Ana Devcic Account Executives Mara Greenwald Kristen Lindsay, D.J. Nogalski Graphic Designer Mara Greenwald Web Director Eric Harris Marketing Director Mia Beeson Archivist Erin Schmidtke The Daily Cardinal is published weekdays and distributed at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and its surrounding community with a circulation of 10,000. The Daily Cardinal is a nonprofit organization run by its staff members and elected editors. It receives no funds from the university. Operating revenue is generated from advertising and subscription sales. Capital Newspapers, Inc. is the Cardinal’s printer. The Daily Cardinal is printed on recycled paper. The Cardinal is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press and the Wisconsin Newspaper Association. All copy, photographs and graphics appearing in The Daily Cardinal are the sole property of the Cardinal and may not be reproduced without written permission of the editor in chief. The Daily Cardinal accepts advertising representing a wide range of views. This acceptance does not imply agreement with the views expressed. The Cardinal reserves the right to reject advertisements judged offensive based on imagery, wording or both. Complaints: News and editorial complaints should be presented to the editor in chief. Business and advertising complaints should be presented to the business manager. Letters Policy: Letters must be word processed and must include contact information. No anonymous letters will be printed. All letters to the editor will be printed at the discretion of The Daily Cardinal. Letters may be sent to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

Kevin Slane draining the main slane

he scene was the summer after my junior year. I had just completed another day sitting at the Terrace, collecting abandoned pitchers until I had enough to buy a pitcher of Miller Lite with the $1 refund per pitcher returned. It wasn’t glamorous, but for a broke college student like me, such was life. But after the Future Business Leaders of America kicked me out of their meeting for taking six slices of free pizza and smelling like a mix of Ale Asylum and urine—the latter an unfortunate side effect of the wrestling match I had with a homeless man on State St. over approximately $1.65 worth of empty cans—I decided my life needed to change. After a refreshing shower at the SERF (my hot water had been shut off months ago), I hit College Library determined to find a job. It was time to quit running from the bill collectors, quit telling my parents I was working an unpaid internship at The Human Fund and most of all, quit spending all my free time and money on drinking. After convincing the librarian I wasn’t just going to look at porn like last time (it was research for a class, I swear!), I pulled up the UW Job Center. Although I found a few discouraging listings (“Wanted: Pet sitter for my squid. No experience required!”) and a few physical impossibilities

The Dirty Bird

Editorial Board l

Vince Filak Cole Wenzel Joan Herzing Jason Stein Emma Roller Janet Larson Alex Kusters Todd Stevens Katie Brown Melissa Anderson Jenny Sereno l

Erica andrist sex columnist

For the record Corrections or clarifications? Call The Daily Cardinal office at 608-262-8000 or send an e-mail to edit@dailycardinal.com.

me to close my eyes and open my eyes at random intervals, with the headphones occasionally blasting my ears with blindingly loud white noise that made me jump and shiver. I felt like a character in Kurt Vonnegut’s “Harrison Bergeron” every time I tried to form a cognizant thought or simply relax, I was jarred to life again by the unholy burst of sonic torture. Then came the drinking. Kelly mixed me a stiff vodka concoction, and gave me 10 minutes to drink it. Before I knew it, I was shamelessly flirting with Kelly, despite being strapped to a chair and wearing a metal helmet with 300 sensors poking out. “How ‘bout we both get a drink later?” I asked, my eye twitching madly. “I can mix you a killer mint julep.” “Well it looks like it’s time to start the next part of the experiment!” Kelly said cheerfully, ignoring my overtures. “Now we’re going to play a little game called ‘gamble your paycheck.’” I didn’t really want to gamble away the only paycheck I’d had in months, but I was given two clickers, one worth 10 cents and one worth a single cent. Then I was shown a series of pictures, which I gambled either 10 cents or 1 cent on. If I picked right, I got the money I wagered. If not, I lost it. Things started innocuously enough, as pictures of flowers and birds floated by. I won some, I lost some. Then, things took a turn for “A Clockwork Orange.” A naked woman flashed on the screen. Then a car. Then two people having sex. Then a spoon. Then a mutilated corpse. Then a baby with maggots coming out of its

eyesockets. Then a woman spreading her ass cheeks. Then a train. Then a waterfall. Then a pile of dead bodies at a concentration camp. Then a blue sky. Then a woman getting raped. During all of this, the blasts of sound had returned, waging a dual assault on my senses along with the shock images of brutal violence I couldn’t look away, much less decide how much to wager. As the test went on, I also became aware of the fact that I needed to pee more than I ever had in my life. I closed my eyes and clicked madly, hoping the test would end. Each blast of sound soon felt like it was hitting me directly in the bladder, forcing me closer and closer to my first accident since age 10. Then came the image of a clown with pieces of glass sticking out of his face. That was the last straw. I leapt from the chair, screaming “I can’t do it anymore!” and ran for the door, finding it locked. I pounded on the door, praying for someone to come, but to no avail. I collapsed on the floor, reduced to a visage of my infantile self: flashes of breasts, pants full of urine and me doubled over, sobbing. Kelly burst into the room, her face a mask of contorted rage and her experiment ruined. When she saw me huddled on the floor she broke down, a single tear dribbling down her cheek. She was crying. We were crying. Are you a student who wants to hear more about Kevin’s harrowing adventures? Are you a psych professor who wants to protect his department’s good name? Are you Kelly, finally returning all his tearful voicemails? E-mail Kevin at kevslane@gmail.com.

sex and the student body

Ground Rules for Getting Dirty

Hannah Furfaro Emma Roller Nico Savidge S. Todd Stevens Dan Tollefson Samantha Witthuhn

Board of Directors

(“Spotter needed for the UW football team conditioning, no weak-ass pussy bitches need apply!”), I finally found my dream job listing through the UW Psych Department: “Get paid to drink! The Psych Department is doing a study of the effects of alcohol on the mind and body. Participants will be compensated $15 per hour for their time.” I thought I had hit the jackpot; finally, a job that I was qualified—perhaps even over-qualified—for! Let the story that follows be a lesson to students everywhere: If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. In my case, it absofuckinglutely was. Fast-forward three weeks, and there I was, deep in the recesses of the Psychology building. I was starving due to the 12-hour fasting requirement for the experiment, aroused because the clinician (a gorgeous grad student named Kelly) was giving me a scalp massage and slightly pained because Kelly’s scalp massage was immediately followed by my head being covered in hundreds of neural sensors, which were attached by prodding me repeatedly with sharp wooden dowels. “Wow, we got these sensors done in record time!” Kelly said 90 agonizing minutes later. “Just one more thing, and we’ll get started!” Then Kelly slapped noise-blocker headphones on me, taped a sensor under my right eye that made it twitch uncontrollably and warned me to not move in any way whatsoever, or else the results would be worthless. But who cares, right? I was about to get my drink on! But no, instead I was subject to the first round of tests. A strange disembodied voice told

Summer lovin’, gave me the clap Summer lovin’, warts on my ass Met a boy, thought he looked clean But now—surprise!—it burns when I pee... Wait. What? Welcome to the Dirty Bird, The Daily Cardinal’s weekly sexual health column. Our wet dream team of columnists includes Ryan Adserias, a graduate student in Educational Leadership and Policy Analysis, and me, Erica Andrist, a second-year med student in the School of Medicine and Public Health. Ryan also works as the program coordinator for Sex Out Loud (SOL), and I am the media advocate for Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment (PAVE). Ryan is a two-year veteran with SOL, and though I’m just starting out with PAVE I also have three years of SOL experience (ahem) under my belt. Although this vast experience gives us a lot to draw on when answering your sexual health questions (which can be directed anytime to sex@dailycardinal.com), we will be writing this column apart from our respective positions, and what we say here does not necessarily reflect the

opinions of SOL or PAVE. This column will do its best to incorporate a wide variety of topics and interests (which you can help with by emailing sex@dailycardinal,com), but we will always stand firm on three non-negotiable rules: 1. Consent is a necessary component of any and every sexual encounter. Consent is an informed, freely-given affirmation. It is not the absence of a ‘no.’ If consent is not obtained, that “sexual encounter” is more accurately termed “sexual assault.” 2. With great pleasure comes great responsibility. Part of this column will be to enhance your bedroom knowledge and skillz, because sex should be, can be and is extremely fun. However, the fun must be supplemented by care for ourselves and our partners. These responsibilities may include, but may not be limited to, using barrier methods, obtaining regular STI screenings, learning appropriate safety techniques, helping our partner achieve orgasm, and/or respecting our partners’ desires and boundaries. A full column could be written on each of the responsibilities listed above, so if you have questions, please email us at sex@dailycardinal.com. 3. It is 100 percent douchebaggery to yuck on someone else’s yum. So you are totally squicked out by activity X. Fine. But guess what? It’s my favorite thing in the whole wide world. Activity X gives me a lot of pleasure, I enjoy doing activity X with

consenting partners and I’m not pressuring you to try activity X (which would violate rule number 1). Thus, don’t yuck on my yum. I don’t yuck on Activity Y, which you L-O-V-E, but I am totally not interested in. So let’s respect others’ desires and boundaries (rule number 2). Great! Now that we’re all on the same page (Page Two, every Friday!), let’s discuss ways to avoid the scenario described in our opening summer lovin’ tune: rubbers and STI testing. Latex condoms, when used consistently and correctly, are phenomenally effective (95-99 percent) at preventing the spread of STIs (sexually transmitted infections, for those who are wondering). Check the expiration date first. Wash your hands to get the oil off your skin (oil breaks down latex!) and squeeze the condom package to make sure there’s a little air trapped inside (no holes or breaks in the package!). Take the condom out and roll it all the way down to the base of the penis or toy. If you start rolling down and it gets stuck, you’re rolling it the wrong way. Grab a new condom and start again from the beginning. Once you’re finished, erm, using the condom, pull out of your partner and remove the condom as soon as you’re able. Tie off the end and toss it in the garbage. Don’t flush it down the toilet, don’t rinse it out and save it for round #2—just toss it. Insertive condoms are available at a multi-

tude of campus locations, including the SOL and PAVE offices (third floor of the Student Activity Center), University Health Services (UHS) and the LGBT Campus Center (LGBTCC or just CC). Many of these locations have additional barrier methods we haven’t discussed here, including receptive condoms, sex dams and gloves. Additionally, knowing our and our partners’ STI status is an important way to protect ourselves. Every single STI out there can be asymptomatic, meaning it’s impossible to tell just by looking at a person whether he or she has an STI. The only way to know for sure is to get screened at UHS. UHS is also located in the Student Activity Center, and all of their STI testing is free for students. Getting screened regularly—as often as every three months—is the only way to keep certain tabs on our STI status, and communicating this to our partners is important—remember ‘informed’ consent and our other responsibilities? Them’s the rules. For more information on preventing the spread of STIs, as well as an expansive array of other sex- and sexual health-related topics, check out the SOL and PAVE offices in the SAC. We would love to hear from you, whether there or at sex@dailycardinal.com (no seriously, just e-mail us already). Come find us with your questions, your concerns, your comments, or your summer lovin’ stories.

dailycardinal.com/news

By Ariel Shapiro The Daily Cardinal

Ron Johnson, a businessman from Oshkosh and first-time candidate, emerged as the Republican frontrunner of the U.S. Senate race when he clinched the endorsement of the Wisconsin Republican Convention May 23. “My decision to run came down to a very basic, yet passionate desire,” said Johnson, who entered the race less than a week before the vote. “I would like to do what I can to help bring America back, because both the FEINGOLD idea of America and promise of America are losing ground.” Before the vote took place, former Secretary of Commerce Dick

Leinenkugel announced the withdrawal of his candidacy to the convention and urged the delegates to support Johnson. “This is the right thing to do, for me, my family, my state and my country,” Leinenkugel told the convention. “Spending millions on a divisive primary campaign only serves to give an advantage to [U.S. Senator] Russ Feingold [D-Wis.]. This must be Russ’s last summer as a U.S. Senator.” Several days after the convention, real-estate developer Terrence Wall also dropped out of the race, leaving only Watertown businessman Dave Westlake in the race against Johnson for the Republican nomination. Trevor Miller, Feingold’s campaign spokesperson, said in a statement that “Ron Johnson is kicking off his campaign the same way his primary opponents already have— offering only empty slogans and

partisan attacks instead of putting forward any plans to tackle the challenges people face.” “Johnson, who wouldn’t even be in the race had Secretary [ To m m y ] Thompson run, would be wise to learn the lesson of Wall’s failed campaign as he seeks to be a voice of the JOHNSON partisan fringe,” Miller said in a separate statement. However, Republican Party of Wisconsin Communications Director Kristin Ruesch is optimistic that Johnson will succeed “because people are fed up with the unchecked power of Democrats.” “We’ve got a real shot at November,” she said. “Russ Feingold has not been the senator we expected.”

UW students face charges in Campus Drank suit Kayla Johnson The Daily Cardinal

Two University of WisconsinMadison students face a 575-count complaint by the City of Madison after a sting operation revealed they sold alcohol without a license to minors through their online website, campusdrank.com. According to City Attorney Jennifer Zilavy, the investigation verified that at least 241 of the website’s customers were underage. She said none of the customers will be penalized. Zilavy said the way in which Campus Drank delivered alcohol was illegal as well. “You cannot deliver alcohol in the way they were delivering it. It has to be a face-to-face transaction in a licensed establishment,” Zilavy said. The students, Danny Haber and Matthew Siegel, face a maximum forfeiture of $779,000, Zilavy said. According to Zilavy, the sting occurred April 14 when a plainclothed police officer ordered alcohol from the website. Siegel asked for identification

when he arrived. However, according to the complaint, Siegel gave the officer the alcohol even though she did not have any identification, because she appeared to be over 21 years old. According to the website, students could “mix and match 20 of [their] favorite dranks” and have them delivered to their residence for a $1 delivery fee. Customers could order up to one handle—or 1.75 liters—of alcohol and one case of beer per customer. They could also mix and match up to five of their favorite six packs, according to the website. Alcoholic drinks could be delivered Wednesday through Saturday 5:30-9 p.m., the website said. The website advertises that Campus Drank will leave the delivery at the front desk of the customer’s residence if the customer is not home. Patrick Mayer, a UW-Madison student, said he used the website because his friend had a “fake I.D.” and they knew the deliverer would not have an I.D. scanner to check the I.D.’s authenticity. “One of my friends had a fake and

we would just call [campusdrank.com] and get it delivered to the Barnard area. It was an option that we knew would work,” Mayer said. According to Assistant Dean of Students Tonya Schmidt, the Offices of the Dean of Students has received information about the case and will be investigating whether Siegel and Haber violated UW policy. “Once we meet with the students and have gathered information, we decide if they violated UW policy. Disciplinary sanctions range from university reprimand to suspension or expulsion,” Schmidt said. University Avenue Liquor allegedly supplied Campus Drank alcohol at a reduced rate. According to Zilavy, the city will attempt to take the store’s liquor license, which would mark the first revocation of a Downtown Madison liquor store’s license in 11 years. The liquor store faces a maximum forfeiture of $1 million and a 904count complaint from the city, which includes delivering alcohol and selling to minors.

Welcome to the thunderdome

Ben Pierson/the daily cardinal

Sporadic spurts of inclement weather plagued Madison’s downtown in May, but fortunately the city’s skyline maintains its appeal in any weather.

Summer Registration Issue 2010

news Leinenkugel out, Johnson new challenger to Feingold

Ben Pierson/the daily cardinal

Some downtown roads will require drivers to take alternative routes, but conditions should approve after this summer’s construction projects.

Construction expected to cause traffic delays in UW campus area By Maggie DeGroot The Daily Cardinal

While UW students relax for the summer, Madison will be undergoing many construction projects to help improve the city. Most of the construction is being performed as part of the University Avenue Corridor Reconstruction project. This three-year project will include the replacement of infrastructure, including pavement, curb and gutter, sidewalk, water, storm and sanitary systems and lighting. A major construction project within the University Avenue Corridor Reconstruction program is located at the Campus Drive intersection. This project also began in May and is scheduled to continue until the middle of August. The project will consist of replacing utilities and lanes of pavement. The Campus Drive area near University Avenue and Randall Avenue will be reduced to two travel lanes during rush-hour traffic. During the rest of the day traffic may be reduced to only one lane. Motorists should expect delays in this area during peak commuting times on University Avenue and Campus Drive during the project.

Further construction is estimated to go on until the end of August on Langdon Street. This construction will involve the installation of underground utilities for the university on both Langdon and Park Streets. A project on Broom Street will also cause construction-related delays in the campus area. The construction started in May and is expected to continue until the middle of August. Doty Street and West Johnson Street will be under construction as well, while Broom Street will be closed to non-local traffic. Downtown construction projects may also have minor impacts on motorists traveling in the area. The construction project includes some of the Capitol Square area. The construction will take place on North Pinckney Street and King Street intersections and sidewalks. The work is scheduled to begin in June and go until Aug. 27. During this period the sidewalks and streets around the square will be open at all times, including local businesses. Even though motorists will have to find alternate routes during the various projects, all businesses and City of Madison parking ramps will be available throughout construction.

Summer Registration Issue 2010

advertisements

dailycardinal.com

opinion Fighting freshman ﬁfteen dailycardinal.com/opinion

DAN TOLLEFSON opinion columnist

remember exactly what kind of kid I was before coming to college. Thoughts of parties, beer and women constantly floated through my head in the days leading up to move-in. Picture a young Van Wilder, but paler. Back then, I was a mere 120 lbs of lean, mean partying potential. When I finally settled in at Witte 8B, everything changed. Not to say all my wildest dreams didn’t come true, because they most certainly did—albeit in smaller, lamer doses than I had once imagined. But along with my abundant successes came signs of failure, mainly in the form of excess weight accumulating around the hips and tummy area.

When the structured world of high school athletics disappears, it’s up to you to to make an effort to stay in shape.

Hungover one Wednesday afternoon, I stumbled out of the shower and realized I was perpetuating a dangerous college stereotype that I had failed to recognize: The freshman fifteen. At first, I felt like a victim. “It’s not your fault,” I told myself, “these kinds of things happen to everyone.” But seconds later, after a few profile glances in the mirror and a couple pinches of the belly, I felt sick to my chubby little stomach. It might have been the Karkov Vodka from the night before, or—as I like to think now—it was a moment of clarity. I resolved right then and there that I was going to change, and it just may have been the best decision of my collegiate career. Over the course of the next few

months, I found ways to combat the freshman fifteen, and I think that all incoming freshmen would benefit from learning a thing or two from my past experiences.

Sticking to a healthy diet can be the difference between 15 pounds and ﬁve.

It starts early in the morning, right before you skip your first class. I don’t care where it is, Pop’s Club, Rheta’s or even Frank’s Place, if you value your body at all it’s important to think about the food you eat and at least attempt to maintain some semblance of a healthy diet. It’s easy to shovel some fries or cottage cheese on your tray to complement a hamburger, but opting instead for some fruit or a vegetable could save you some trouble in the long run. In terms of beverages, milk and juice are fine, but you’ll be taking in enough liquid calories from alcohol, so skip the soda. Also, be weary of the ice cream. It’s delicious, but dangerous, and it’s served late into the night at every dining hall on campus. Sticking to a healthy diet can be the difference between 15 pounds and five. But there are other ways to stay in shape during your first year away from home. So many incoming freshmen abandon what once was a healthy source of stability as soon as they set foot on campus: exercise. When the structured world of high school athletics disappears, it’s up to you to make an effort to stay in shape. No matter where you are on campus, some athletic facility will be in your immediate vicinity. The Natatorium, the Southeast Recreational Facility or the Shell all provide valuable spaces to run, lift weights, play basketball or even swim. I know you’re young, but don’t let the

social aspect of intramurals scare you, just ask some kids on your floor if they want to sign up for a sport and go for it. Intramurals are a regularly scheduled means of competitive exercise, and it sounds cliché, but they’re also a good way to meet people. If the gym just isn’t for you, take advantage of the bike paths in Madison or go for a run. If you’re in the southeast section of campus, play volleyball behind Witte. If you’re up in Lakeshore, whip out the tennis rackets. If nothing else, walk to class. The buses aren’t that much faster than your feet, and mopeds should be reserved for athletes only.

Be conscious of diet and exercise as you enter your ﬁrst year on campus.

The last cause of the freshman fifteen may be the most threatening of them all: alcohol. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to preach about the dangers of drinking, I’m just offering a word to the wise. I’ve seen too many friends fall victim to beer belly, and it’s not fun for anyone involved. If you’re going to drink, do so when the occasion calls for it, and even then be aware of the physical consequences. Drink to pregame football on Saturday morning, fine. But drinking because you can on a Monday night is not quite the same. So, for all you aspiring Van Wilders out there, take a moment to reﬂect on the peak physical condition of Ryan Reynolds, and frighten yourself by putting your face on John Bellushi’s body. At the very least, be conscious of diet and exercise as you enter your ﬁrst year on campus. Staying in shape isn’t the be-all end-all, but it makes everything else in college a lot easier. Dan Tollefson is a senior majoring in English. Please send all feedback to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

If you could offer one piece of advice to incoming students, what would you say? “Dont be afraid of your professors. Use them, email them, meet with them. They’re there to help.” Cara Feeney is a junior majoring in art.

“Get on your RA’s good side, you never know how much trouble it can keep you out of.” Ben Kohner is a senior majoring in engineering.

“Keep an open mind, always wear a condom and never walk home alone when drunk.” Andy Gallo is a senior majoring in biochemistry.

“Be really outgoing and get involved because thats how you meet people and become a part of campus. This will make your college experience much

more enjoyable.” Jenny Boesch is a junior majoring in education. “Dont be shy during the first week. Its the best time to make friends. Really go out of your comfort zone or you’ll miss out.” Holly Hartung is a junior majoring in German and journalism.

Summer Registration Issue 2010

arts 6

Summer Registration Issue 2010

dailycardinal.com/arts

Only idiots lose their heads over inconclusive ‘Lost’ finale Todd Stevens the todday show

photo courtesy Warner Bros.

A show that once broke down sex barriers, the “Sex and the City” enterprise has turned into a complete joke, with “Sex and the City 2” continuing the tradition of terrible movie remakes.

No one should pay $10 for awful ‘Sex’ By Jacqueline O’Reilly The Daily Crdinal

“There was so little sex.” This was the comment my friend made after seeing “Sex and the City 2.” Referring to the lack of literal humpin’ and bumpin’, she was unquestionably right. The nearly pornographic sex scenes common in the television series are almost completely absent for the show’s second movie remake. But the more important form of sex the movie lacks is that of the original television show’s title, the sex that brought to mind scenes of four New York women gossiping about dirty talk, romance and everything in between. Hoping a sequel could do for “SATC” what Botox did for Sarah Jessica Parker’s face—reinvent something that was fine from the start—writer and producer Michael Patrick King thought taking the infamous girlfriends to the Middle East for a vacation would be a welcome addition to the show’s library. Wrong. Like Parker’s face, the new product is unrecognizable and frightening, a change so bad that it’s easy to forget the original masterpiece. What was previously a deliciously brief window into the lives of single women has been transformed, both with this movie and the first, into something vastly unfamiliar to those who treasured the stories of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. From the characters to the plot lines to the messages, “SATC2” is completely devoid of everything the show embodied. “Sex and the City” was its characters. Their energy, beliefs and banter were what made the show popular and easy to relate to. While several of the show’s familiar faces pop up in the film, all that is recognizable are their physical attributes: The personalities behind them don’t resemble anything close to the personas we remember them as. The most notable character manipulations are that of Mr. Big and Aidan. During the series, Aidan was the nice guy to Mr. Big’s bad guy. He was the victim of Carrie’s cheating, while Big was the beneficiary of it. In their respective relationships, Big made grandiose romantic gestures, while Aidan preferred to spend the evening in. They were Carrie’s two great loves, but they were stark opposites of each other; and that’s what made their love triangle so compelling. In “SATC2,” these personas are completely switched. Aidan is now the adulator, who after taking Carrie out to an exotic dinner decides, despite being mar-

ried with three kids, he’s going to kiss her. The act is dumbfounding. Aidan was the moral compass to the series, a conservative take on love and loyalty. His kissing Carrie makes zero sense, and contradicts the Aidan millions of women fell in love with a decade ago. Big also apparently suffers from a personality disorder. The man once fluent in romance bought Carrie a flat-screen television for their anniversary. Upon hearing of Carrie’s infidelity, the former adulator scolds his wife for cheating, and then offers some marriage advice. The situation is laughable, even hypocritical. This is Big. He is the last person on earth qualified to offer marriage counseling, and yet here we find him. Such changes insult the show and its fans. These men and their remarkably different personalities sparked a conversation among women: Aidan or Big? The nice (but maybe a little boring) guy or the romantic (but absolute asshole) guy? By dramatically changing the make-up of the characters, the original joy and conversation “Sex and the City” provided are unnecessarily voided, which confirms that a movie is more detrimental to its successor than it is valuable.

All the movie and its predecessor do is destroy the memory of a once great televsion show, and it’s likely future movies would only do the same.

Beyond this jarring change exists numerous other problems, namely that King forgot a plot. The characters end in the same exact places they began, except maybe a little more tan. If a “SATC” movie can’t advance the plot, especially without infringing upon the original show’s key points, there is no point in making it. “SATC” fans were happy with the series’ conclusion. Each woman found love, not only with men, but also with each other and New York City. Yes, it is hard to let a good thing die, but what is now being created is far from good. All the movie and its predecessor do is destroy the memory of a once great television show, and it’s likely future movies would only do the same. The horse is dead, it’s time we stopped beating it.

e knew this was coming, but that still doesn’t make it any easier. “Lost,” possibly the most cultishly obsessed about show in television history, is over. And as many people feared, when we left our final close-up of Matthew Fox’s twitchy eyeball, numerous questions had not been answered. What exactly is the bright light at the center of the island? Why do people like Walt and Miles have mystical powers? How exactly does the sideways world relate to anything at all? These lingering mysteries angered many people. Fans marched into the streets and burned figures of Nikki and Paulo in effigy, previous devotees of John Locke started reading Thomas Hobbes, cats and dogs living together, it was madness! The people of “Lost” nation were pissed, for they believed that the writers of their beloved serialized show had wasted the last six years of their lives by failing to tie up the series neatly, instead choosing to leave viewers puzzled and adrift. Yes, much of the “Lost” fanbase was, and still is, very angry. But much of the “Lost” fanbase is also very stupid.

Considering so much of “Lost” revolved around speculation, contemplation and prognostication, one would think its fans would be capable of thinking.

Perhaps this is as much my fault as it is theirs. I, too, was an ardent fan of “Lost,” one who loved discussing the show at any opportunity with other “Lost” devotees. I loved trying to figure out what the whispers were, how it was Richard Alpert never aged and why the hell that Egyptian statue had only four toes. For the past six years, “Lost” has effectively been my television equivalent of meth (which probably makes it all the more fitting that as “Lost” was winding down I found myself increasingly hooked on “Breaking Bad”). I was so fond of the show and the community that went with it that I probably gave most of my fellow “Lost” fans a little too much credit. Considering so much of “Lost” revolved around speculation, contemplation and prognostication, one would think its fans would be capable of a little thinking. One would think “Lost” fans would exhibit at least a hint of intellectual curiosity. Sadly, this wasn’t the case. Despite the fact that “Lost” had never tried to position itself as an easy show to grasp, fans were seemingly dumbfounded that the series finale did not

wrap up every little loose end with a straightforward, easily digestible conclusion. Yet at no point had “Lost” been a straightforward, easily digestible show. “Lost” was told completely non-linearly. In fact, by the end of the show, the timeline was so convoluted that linearity practically lost all meaning. It piled mythology upon mythology. Remember when we were still trying to figure out who the enigmatic Others were? Anybody think that would lead to a pair of magic twin brothers from Roman times with a hell of a lot of mommy issues?

For the series to simply provide answer after answer to every question, then finish off with a clean-cut final scene would simply have been disingenuous to the entire “Lost” experience.

For the series finale to simply provide answer after answer to every question, then finish things off with a clean-cut final scene would simply have been disingenuous to the entire “Lost” experience. “Lost” has never been about understanding, “Lost” has always been about interactivity. And never has this been more true than when the show actually did provide answers. When the writers finally got around to handing out some satisfactory explanations in the final season, such as what the creepy whispers were or the identities of the Adam and Eve figures from the caves, “Lost” seemed to grind to a halt. The dialogue became clumsy and the revelations were always underwhelming. Perhaps it goes back to an old adage of Alfred Hitchcock’s. Hitchcock, likely the foremost artist in the field of suspense that film and television will ever see, often compared his scenes to a bomb under a table. When the bomb goes off, you get a thrill. However, thrills dissipate as quickly as they appear. But if you leave the bomb under the table and nobody knows when it’s going to go off, that is suspense, and that is a feeling that will stick with you long afterward. The “Lost” writers should be applauded for having the cajones to end the show without letting the bomb explode. Sure, they let off a few firecrackers, but it’s not like they set off a nuclear device or anything (Juliet already did that anyway). To do so would have been to ruin everything that was great about “Lost” for six seasons: The endless theorizing about the island’s past, the constant debates about how the mythology came to be and, most importantly, the entire mystique of never quite knowing what is going on. Sometimes, you just need to embrace being lost. Did Todd just call everybody who hated the “Lost” finale stupid? Yes, indeed he did. Feel free to call him stupid at ststevens@wisc.edu.

Photo Courtesy ABC studios

With its intricate plotlines and confusing character twists, “Lost” was a show that demanded its viewers think. To expect a clean-cut, simple finale would be ridiculous.

arts Supergroup remains unbroken with age dailycardinal.com/arts

By Justin Stephani

and waves of cymbal splashes. At almost seven minutes, it opens the Indie rock staples the New album as its centerpiece and earns Pornographers and Broken Social its length with slow-building and Scene each recently released their deliberate walls of engaging shoeﬁrst album in years without much gaze-effects that ebb and flow. fanfare. While their last respective Yet its comforting waves come releases were anything but disap- from the simple progressions in pointing, it points to the rapid pace dynamics, not some inherently of the Internet-run indie world to mesmerizing dreaminess that only consider how over-the-hill it feels comes from a simple song’s abilto desperately want to praise this ity to lure your ears in every time release; mostly because you have to and take command of your limbs miss the exhilaratingly vibrant indie in a rhythmic manner. rock benchmarks From there, CD REVIEW set on 2002’s You reminders of this Forgot It In People maturing tenand their eponydency interrupt mous follow-up the ride. “Chase in 2005. But in Scene” is a little more than one way too TarantinoBSS are showing esqe in its frethe effects of their netic, unsettling Forgiveness Rock age, or perhaps just pace and flourRecord the loose nature ishes. “Art House Broken Social of the supergroup, Director” is Scene through comprouncomfortably mised results. Where there were peppy and uses saxophones with ﬂuid melodies walking you down too much of a teen-pop feel to a beach and introducing oceans of come from indie rock vets. Some cymbals and fuzz guitar to swim in, investments need nourishment to there are now quirks and affections become fruitful. “Meet Me in hidden in walls of sound that are the Basement” is a play on Fang too often more transparent than Island’s Andrew WK-take on they are shoegaze. indie rock from earlier this year. There’s “World Sick,” where Only with how stereotypical this listeners are presented with a song sounds for BSS, that referpeace-love hippie message from ence really puts the egg before frontman Kevin Drew stand- the chicken and notes an influing on a pulpit of layered and ence for some newer guys on the often weighted in lament riffs block. But even still, some tracks

THE DAILY CARDINAL

Summer Registration Issue 2010

are memorable; “Forced to Love” carries almost a little too much anthemic rock accessibility, the same goes for “Texaco Bitches” (only with “Forced to Love” it’s something of a backhanded compliment) and “Sentimental X’s” has that trendy dreaminess to lure you in, and its cleverly playful lyrics make it just as rewarding as anything they’ve ever made. Although Forgiveness Rock Record never reaches the relaxed vigor of “KC Accidental” or the

sly, but sheen innovation of “7/4 (Shoreline),” it does not really disappoint. To be blunt, it pales in comparison to You Forgot It In People and lacks much of the charm of Broken Social Scene, but it carries the same personality, only not as attractive and smooth. So while we want to love the new little quirks, the tempt of the first two loves from BSS win out in the heat of the musicpicking moment. Otherwise it’s a little too much like being remind-

ed of a past trend that you really fucking enjoyed having around, like Skip-It. Luckily, that doesn’t mean this effort is worth neglecting in the whole scope, it’s just that you have to really pay attention to what you’re doing in order to get the payoff—like Skip-It before they invented the counter on that ball. And with where there at in their career, especially considering how busy and independent the members are outside of BSS, that’s not too shabby.

news madison 101

Summer Registration Issue 2010

dailycardinal.com/news

The Daily Cardinal introduces essenti Campus Administration The UW-Madison administra- Martin Cadwallader, oversees the tion is organized into 20 schools graduate school administration and colleges, which are each head- and research administration. ed by a dean. The Vice Chancellor of The chancellor, currently University Relations, Vince Chancellor Carolyn “Biddy” Sweeney, oversees university comMartin, oversees the entire munications, tradeuniversity. She is in charge mark licensing and parof making public remarks ent/visitor programs. and facilitating reports, straThe university also tegic plans and initiatives for has several governance the university. groups such as the The university’s provost, Faculty Senate. The currently Paul Deluca, is Faculty Senate acts as MARTIN chief deputy to the chanan advisory commitcellor and the university’s tee to the chancellor, chief academic officer. deans and provost. It is an orgaThere are three vice chan- nization of UW-Madison faccellors. The Vice Chancellor of ulty members that meets once a Administration, Darrell Bazzell, month to discuss issues relevant oversees administrative initiatives, to the university such as the the university budget and reports. graduate school restructuring The Vice Chancellor of Research and faculty rights. and dean of Graduate School, —Kayla Johnson

Graphics by Natasha Soglin/the daily cardinal

Bascom Hall, a landmark for most UW-Madison students, sits atop Bascom Hill. The building houses classrooms and the office of Chancellor Biddy Martin.

Student Government The Associated Students of Madison (ASM) is UW-Madison’s student government. Like any government, most people either hate it or ignore it, but ASM is surprisingly powerful for a student government and gets plenty of front-page coverage in the campus newspapers. ASM offers students a voice in administration decisions and oversees $38 million of our tuition dollars. All UW-Madison students are automatically members of ASM, and most student end ASM involvement with the

compulsory membership. For students who care to get involved, spring and fall elections occur online and decide the members of Student Council. Student Council is the governing body of ASM, consisting of 33 representatives, elected from each school. The ubiquitous acronym “ASM” is often used interchangeably to refer to work specifically done by Student Council. ASM has several committees, including Academic Affairs, which oversees the ASM Textbook Swap, and Legislative Affairs, which lobbies govern-

ment on student issues. Most notable among the committees is the Student Services Finance Committee (SSFC), which oversees $38 million in student segregated fees. Student segregated fees are collected as part of tuition, costing each student $1,020 per year. SSFC uses strict rules and guidelines to allocate student segregated fees to various campus groups, like WISPIRG, which received $126,244 from SSFC last year. —Jamie Stark

ASM members to know Brandon Williams • Student Council Chair • College of Letters and Science representative • Former SSFC Chair

Adam Johnson • Student Council Vice Chair • College of Letters and Science representative

The offices for the Associated Students of Madison (ASM) are located in the Student Activity Center on the third and fourth floors of University Square, or U Square.

Board of Regents The UW System Board of Regents is composed of 18 members appointed by the governor of Wisconsin. The Board of Regents President, Charles Pruitt, has served since May 2003 and will finish his term in May 2016. Sixteen regents are appointed to seven-year terms, though the two student members serve for two years at a time. Regents may remain on the board for multiple terms. Board members’ duties include setting admission standards, analyzing and approving the institutions’ budgets and establishing basic regulations. The regents select the President

of the UW System, currently Kevin Reilly, who took office in 2004. They also choose the chancellors of the 13 UW universities and UW-Extension as well as both the chancellor and deans of the UW colleges. Appointees rely REILLY on the regents to determine the length of their tenures in office. The Board has a number of goals for the upcoming year. “We’re particularly focused on pursuing and advocating for the

Growth Agenda for Wisconsin, the goal being to increase the number of college graduates in the state of Wisconsin,” Pruitt said. “That will be an important priority.” The regents must also submit a biennial budget request to the governor by August that, if approved by both the governor and legislature, will be in effect from 2011 through 2013, he said. In addition, Pruitt said throughout the year the regents will focus on a variety of issues brought before the full board by the three standing committees. —Alison Dirr

The Board of Regents’ office is housed in the top floor of Van Hise Hall, located at the intersection of North Charter Street and Linden Drive.

TJ Madsen • Student Council Secretary • Engineering representative

news

madison dailycardinal.com/news

ial news vocabulary

The State Capitol acts as the political symbol for the state of Wisconsin. The capitol building and the surrounding square is a landmark in the city of Madison.

State Legislature

101

City of Madison The Madison Common Council holds meetings in the Council Chambers to conduct Madison’s legislative business. To govern the city, the Common Council adopts the city budget and passes laws and policies. The council is comprised of Alders who individually represent Madison area Districts 1-19. This past May the Madison Common Council approved the $90 million Edgewater Hotel project. The Edgewater renovations were initially proposed June 2009. The project went through different committees, including the Landmarks Commission, before it was finally approved. Mayor Dave Cieslewicz is the current mayor of the city of Madison. The mayor’s office is located in the City-County Building near the Capitol. Cieslewicz proposes and reviews policies that may be adopted by the city. He also evaluates existing policies and procedures, among other mayoral tasks. Cieslewicz writes his own blog, which can be accessed at cityofmadison.com.

The Wisconsin State Legislature is the source passed a ban on texting while driving, an of all laws in the state not provided by the fed- expansion of the BadgerCare state health plan eral government, which includes everything from and a bill restricting the payday loan industry. Democrats currently hold the majority in maintaining key components of infrastructure, each house and the whole executive branch, such as public schools, law enforcement agensave for Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen. cies and roads, to determining the terms of more However, terms for members of the controversial issues such as marriage, enviAssembly only last two years, which ronmental and abortion laws. provides for frequent turnover and The Legislature consists of 132 memfluctuation in the political climate of bers: 99 Representatives and 33 Senators, the legislature. each representing a different district in In addition, Gov. Jim Doyle will Wisconsin distributed throughout the state not run for a third term, leaving the according to population. position of Governor wide open for In its structure, the Legislature closethe first time in eight years. While ly resembles Congress. Like Congress, DOYLE Democrats undoubtedly dominate the it is a bicameral legislature, meaning capitol now, there is no telling what it consists of an upper house (the the elections this fall could mean for Wisconsin. Senate) and a lower house (the Assembly), Currently Democrat Tom Barrett and and in order to become a law, a bill must pass Republican Scott Walker are in the running to through both houses before being signed by replace Doyle. the Governor. During the last legislative session, which —Ariel Shapiro ended in April, the Senate and Assembly

Monona Terrace, not to be confused with the Memorial Union Terrace, is located near the Capitol Building on John Nolan Drive. It hosts various community events and conventions throughout the year.

Check out The Daily Cardinal online for news updates throughout the summer! dailycardinal.com

Summer Registration Issue 2010

The Dane County Board of Supervisors is made up of 37 elected supervisors from each of the districts within the county. The County Board is the policy-making body of the county government. Establishing county ordinances, passing laws concerning law enforcement and levying taxes are just some of the duties of the County Board. The board also has board officers who help to direct and guide the board. The Dane County Board typically meets twice a month. Currently, the board is dealing with various agenda items, including amending an ordinance CIESLEWICZ regarding fee exemptions for municipal road maintenance projects. If approved, this amendment would clarify that the permit fee exemption is intended to apply to road maintenance projects, not road construction projects. —Maggie DeGroot

Summer Registration Issue 2010

dailycardinal.com

features life&style Off campus: Finding fun on Willy Street By Ben Pierson & Victoria Statz The Daily Cardinal

Scatter-shot with casual pubs, inventive restaurants and myriad small shops, the near-east side’s Williamson St. is one that a resident may never have to leave. From the New Age shops and yoga studios to the hardware stores and plumbers that line the well-traveled road, locals can find anything they need or want on Willy’s short ten-block run. Its borders are defined by the most beautiful bike shop in Madison, Machinery Row Bicycles (601 Williamson St.) and one of the best bars in town, Mickey’s Tavern (1524 Williamson St.): and its interior is riddled with other interesting shops (Off the Bleaten Path Yarnery, Brumley’s Old Clock Shop, Grampa’s Gun Shop, etc.), delicious restaurants (Lao Laan Xang, Wah Kee Noodle) and other hidden gems. There are well-established neighborhood businesses standing next to newcomers, as well as beautiful old houses sharing yards with gas stations. The Willy Street neighborhood is a hodgepodge microcosm of Madison’s best. Although lifeless condos and other indicators of Madison’s artless new development philosophy have begun to encroach, it seems like it will be a long time before the Willy St. area becomes the next Greenbush. In an attempt to capture some of Willy Streets’ vibrant atmosphere and down-to-earth personality, The Daily Cardinal embarked on a Thursday night adventure to a few of the street’s favorite haunts. First stop en-route on Madison Metro Route 4 is Jennifer and Ingersoll, and one block over, at 1101 Williamson St., is a place where people in the know head for intriguing conversation, lovely baristas, weekend concerts and a killer Chai paired with delicious

vegan soups and baked goods. At Mother Fool’s Coffeehouse, interesting music is always playing, whether or not that may be ’90s Pink (instant conversation starter), Agent Ribbons or the Avett Brothers.

The Willy Street neighborhood is a hodgepodge microcosm of Madison’s best.

The mood is very low-key, with mismatched chairs and retro couches, making it the perfect environment to do anything from homework, to tarot card readings if neighborhood denizen Magic is around, and reading. Most of all, Mother Fool’s is a great place to meet and talk with other interesting characters with unique experiences.

This aspect of the shop is amazing, as it is a throwback to the true original purpose of a coffee shop, socialization. And maybe coffee shops like Mother Fool’s are one of the many reasons the community atmosphere on Willy St. is so strong. Leaving the coffee house, we walked the block to the Weary Traveler, 1201 Willy St. This bar is busy every night of the week, due to its original fare with items such as the Bad Breath Burger and an extensive list of craft beers and unique cocktails. On this particular night, Lake Louie Scotch Ale draught was the drink of choice, and be assured the kegs were much lighter by the time the tab was settled. The barkeep was a tower of a man, but his bar-side mannerisms divulged his lack of hostility, not to mention impressive Manhattans. The bar was thronged with people from wall to wall, and many who had claimed small remaining spots of the bar shifted to accommodate

Summer Registration Issue 2010

the continuing influx of bodies. At the bar, a local woman—a woodworker—started a casual, entertaining conversation. She doled out postcards displaying pictures of her recent work, related fascinating details of her unique story thus far and engaged in intense conversation about abandoning North America for its southern counterpart. Bets could be placed on the probability of finding people this captivating and fun to speak with on any other street in Madison, and those betting in favor of other places will inevitably lose, as the mix of citizens who actually have interesting events and stories to relate is mind-boggling. The journey to Mickey’s Tavern, 1524 Williamson St., was quick and lively. On the way to the tavern we saw that the baker at Batch Bakehouse (1511 Williamson St.) was already preparing the morning’s bread. Noticing our intrigue, he was kind enough to entertain us for a few moments while we grilled him about the fougasse we ate earlier—a rustic loaf filled with

dailycardinal.com/news

olives and parmesean, among other things. The bread was mind-blowing, just like everything smelled as we peaked in. We left the baker dreaming of what would come out of the oven in the approaching hours. Mickey’s is another Madison favorite with its incredible charm and two-dollar Huber Bocks. In the summer it boasts one of the city’s best outdoor patios, but in these bleak indoor months Mickey’s perseveres as each rooms’ unique and colorful décor breathe life into nights out. There are statues over the bathrooms, a stellar jukebox and a pool table centered in one of the many rooms. Each of these contains many places to sit and converse with friends or new acquaintances as well as observe intense bouts of billiards. It was a successful night, to say the least, one that combined the artistic culture, unique community and superb nightlife only found on Madison’s very own Williamson St.

comics 12

On Wisconsin! The statue on the dome of the Wisconsin capitol wears a helmet topped with a badger. dailycardinal.com/comics

Summer Registration Issue 2010

Dorm Move-In Day

Today’s Sudoku

Evil Bird

By Caitlin Kirihara kirihara@wisc.edu

Charlie and Boomer

By Natasha Soglin soglin@wisc.edu

Solution, tips and computer program available at www.sudoku.com.

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

The Daily Cardinal

By The Daily Cardinal graphics@dailycardinal.com

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Crustaches

First in Twenty

By Patrick Remington premington@wisc.edu

By Angel Lee alee23@wisc.edu

Answer key available at www.dailycardinal.com WHO ARE THESE GUYS? 1 6 10 14 15 16 17 18 20 22 23 24 26 28 32 33 34 38 40 43 44 46 48 49 53

ACROSS Ski trail with densely packed snow Wage ___ of words Small fries TV group featuring Mr. T Qualify for the consolation round “And pretty maids all in ___” Protective embankment Ingratiate oneself with React to a ghost sighting Detain Let everyone hear Beer bash host, maybe Buried in the ground Participate in a Halloween game Sound of support Pro ___ (one way to divide things) Dark suit item? Half of the Road Runner’s taunt Metal alloy coating ___-of-the-moment Montezuma, e.g. Item in Fonzie’s pocket Cotton gin pioneer Whitney Marry someone much younger Shield carried on the

56 57 58 60 64 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 19

arm Island necklaces Helm dir. Reddish-brown horses Type of food or pride Farm bleater Wonder Woman’s headwear Sarge’s dog in “Beetle Bailey” Winter racing vehicle Ostracized one Unwelcome greenhouse guest Abbr. in a listing Rub out with rubber DOWN Mountain route Scratcher’s target Char on the outside System of import duties Naked ruler of fable Vestment for a Father “The Caine Mutiny” writer Comparable to an ocean Result of an overturned card, sometimes Cross-shaped Greek character Daughter-in-law of Naomi Funny Fields Musketeer weapon Belgian city destroyed in WWI

21 Measure of gold’s ﬁneness 25 London art gallery 27 Fl. oz.’s six 28 Rummy cake 29 “Hear ye” 30 Red veggie 31 Make very thirsty 35 Mimicked the mannerisms of 36 Yawn-inducing 37 Pennsylvania’s only Great Lakes port 39 Executive’s extra beneﬁt 41 “The First ___” (Christmas carol) 42 TV show host 45 Mild cheddar cheese 47 Easily snapped, as bones 50 Long-eared pooch 51 Audition 52 More pale-looking 53 Kind of jazz 54 Come together, as in matrimony 55 Boston’s basketball team, familiarly 59 Tale of adventure 61 Wine-growing county in California 62 States of wrath 63 The C in TLC 65 Biblical sufferer 66 ___ Aviv

Washington and the Bear

By Derek Sandberg kalarooka@gmail.com

dailycardinal.com

Summer Registration Issue 2010

sports

dailycardinal.com/sports

Being a part of the student section requries more than high blood-alcohol content NICO SAVIDGE savidge nation

remember my first Badger game quite well — on Aug. 30, 2008, the Badgers took the field at Camp Randall Stadium and trounced Akron 38-17 while I watched from section P in the north end zone. Obviously, I knew every single cheer, belted out the lyrics to all of the songs the PA system played, had every student section chants memorized and flawlessly executed the Time Warp dance during the Fifth Quarter. Of course, in this retelling of that morning, the Badgers went on to meet every single one of my lofty expectations for the season and won the Rose Bowl. Also, at no point in the season did I curse the name/ threaten the life of head coach Bret Bielema, senior quarterback Allan Evridge or senior running back P.J. Hill. Nope. Not once. Nobody entirely knows what to expect the first time they pass under the giant stone gate at Camp Randall, or what to do for the wide variety of situations that require student participation. Hell, if you’re anything like me your main concern is not having someone shout “fucking freshman!” in your direction. Should you share those fears about your first Badger game, I hope I can help you out. I won’t write out a guide to every single student section chant (just remember obscenity is your friend!) you’ll catch on to those soon enough and be experienced fans by the time Northwestern comes to town Nov. 27. But I can give you these three simple tips for making the most of your first

Camp Randall experience, or if you’re not much of a football fan, your first visit to the Kohl Center for hockey or basketball. Don’t be a dumbass, you make all of us look bad You probably won’t see too many San Jose State fans in the student section Sept. 11, but by the time Minnesota and Ohio State visit in October you will have to deal with out-of-town fans. Yes, they’re Gophers and Buckeyes. Yes, they’re idiots. But don’t be a tool. Sure, everyone loves a nice “Safety School” chant with the Gophers, but being a good fan means more than just shouting curse words at some Ohio State fan visiting his friends in Madison. The summer before I came to UW the student section was named the meanest in college football, and that’s because Badger fans are original and funny, not stupid assholes. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t make fun of visiting fans, after all Jim Tressel’s sweatervest deserves all the derision you can throw at it. But don’t let some Buckeye fan go back to Columbus and say Badger fans are just a bunch of idiots. Come on time, stay until the end This is probably my biggest pet peeve with Wisconsin fans. There’s only a couple more minutes until kickoff when the “GET PUMPED THE FUCK UP!!!!” montage plays, the Badgers storm out onto the field, the band blasts “On Wisconsin” and the whole stadium cheers. Well, 90% of it does, because half of the student section is still out playing beer pong on Breese Terrace. Listen, I get that the pregame atmosphere around Camp Randall is awesome, and there’s nothing better than getting trashed on someone’s lawn at 10:30 a.m. But that’s no excuse

to show up to your seats in the last row of section K with five minutes left in the second quarter. It’s one thing to get there late against Austin Peay, but with Paul Bunyan’s Axe on the line against Minnesota you had better be in the stadium for kickoff. The second part of my curmudgeoney “You damn kids!” complaint is that many of my fellow Badger fans seem to have “Jump Around” confused with the final whistle. Too often, students start to file out once the stadium’s best-known tradition has ended. Yes, “Jump Around” is cool, but it’s not an excuse to leave with another quarter of football to go. Support your team and fellow fans It’s pretty simple: We all paid a lot of money to attend this school and watch its football team, so support them. If you’re not happy with John Clay because of a few bad rushes, it’s perfectly okay to be frustrated, but don’t start screaming for Bielema to bench him. Being a good fan means coming to the games and supporting your team all the time. As far as getting along with your fellow fans goes, just know that shit happens in the student section. You might get bumped into and you might get stepped on, but what’s important to keep in mind is that you’re here with a bunch of great fans who are also lucky enough to attend this amazing university. Plus, no one wants to get arrested and put on the “Show and Blow” Breathalyzer list. Make the world a better place: Punch a Gopher fan instead. Do you think it’s cool to show up at halftime of football games? Do you find all the cheers and dancing to be somehow lame? Email Nico at savidgewilki@daily cardinal.com.

Alvarez inducted into College Football Hall of Fame Students new to the sports scene on campus in Madison will come to know Barry Alvarez as a guy who, in his role as Athletic Director, should ﬁre this coach or that coach and push ahead plans to improve athletic facilities. He is more recognizable, though, as the football coach that helmed the Badgers during their return to respectability through the 1990s and into this decade. Alvarez was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame last week at the NFF Annual Awards Dinner in New York City, enshrin-

ing his success among the college football greats. He was one of fourteen inductees in a class that included former Heisman Trophy winner and Michigan standout Desmond Howard and deceased linebacker Pat Tillman. Alvarez earned National Coach of the Year honors in 1993 and 1998 and won three Rose Bowl titles in his tenure, including backto-back years in 1999 and 2000. He compiled a career record of 118-73-4, is one of only ten coaches to win 100 games at a Big Ten school and his 8-3 record in bowl

games gives him the best postseason record in NCAA history among coaches who have been to that many bowls. He coached 2000 Heisman Trophy winner Ron Dayne, and NFL standALVAREZ outs like former Eagles cornerback Troy Vincent and Bills wide receiver Lee Evans. —Parker Gabriel

Eaves hires two new assistants in offseason of change Change was imminent this offseason for men’s hockey head coach Mike Eaves, who had seven seniors graduate from a team that played in the national title game and lost two more underclassmen (so far) who decided to forgo a year of eligibility and sign professional contracts. Eaves has also been EAVES charged with

the task of replacing his top two assistant coaches after Kevin Patrick was named the head coach of a new USHL team in Muskegon, Mich., and Mark Osiecki landed the head coaching job at Ohio State, leaving two gaping holes on the Badger bench that were filled recently. Gary Shuchuk and Bill Butters will each enter their first seasons in Madison with plenty of coaching experience and WCHA ties. Shuchuk won a national championship with the Badgers in 1990 as a dynamic scorer

and First Team All-American forward. He led the team with a whopping 41 goals and 80 points as a senior. Shuchuk has since coached extensively in the U.S. Development program and was a candidate for the assistant coaching job that Eaves eventually gave to Osiecki in 2004. Butters played for the archrival Gophers and served as an assistant coach there from 19851995. He will be responsible for focusing on the Badger’s defensive corps. — Parker Gabriel

ISABEL ÁLVAREZ/CARDINAL FILE PHOTO

Last season, Lisa Stone led the women’s basketball team to the NCAA Tournament and garnered Big Ten Coach of the Year honors

Look for these head coaches on Badger sidelines this year By Ryan Evans THE DAILY CARDINAL

Students on campus spend plenty of time debating the merits of players in all sports, but sometimes the men and women that call the shots from the bench get overlooked. Here are four coaches to know for next year. Mike Eaves—Men’s Hockey Coming off a season which saw the Badgers finish national runners up, Coach Mike Eaves will look to continue the success he has found at the helm of the Men’s Hockey program entering his eighth year behind the bench. During the first seven seasons under Eaves the Badgers have finished in the top three of the WCHA five times, and made two Frozen Four appearances. The high point of Eaves’ tenure was the 2005-’06 campaign in which he led the Badgers to their sixth national championship with a 2-1 win over Boston College. Eaves was also a very accomplished player during his career as a Badger. Recruited by legendary hockey coach “Badger” Bob Johnson, Eaves played from 1974-’78 in Madison and remains Wisconsin’s all time career scoring leader with 267 points (94 goals, 173 assists). Eaves also won a national title as a player, and was twice named an All-American. After an eight-year career in the NHL with the Minnesota North Stars and Calgary Flames, Eaves bounced around the coach ranks before returning to his alma mater as the third Wisconsin hockey coach of the modern era before the 2002-’03 season. Chandelle Schulte—Softball Chandelle Schulte is entering her sixth season as the head coach of the UW softball team. She surpassed the 300-win mark as a collegiate coach and is only the second head coach in the history of the Wisconsin softball program. Next season, Schulte will look to build on the teams strong finish from last year. While the program has struggled in recent years they now have a nucleus of young players that they will look to build on. Before arriving at Wisconsin Schulte was the head coach at College of Charleston for four years. During her time there she led the Cougars to two regular season conference titles, a conference tournament appearance and an NCAA regional appearance. She was also at the helm for the team’s school and conference record 53 wins in 2005. Before coaching at College of Charleston, Schulte coached at

Charleston Southern University from 1999-2001 where she won the Big South Coach of the Year. Before that she was an assistant at Florida State from 1996-’99. She began her coach career at Concordia University in Ann Arbor, Mich. There she was named WHAC Coach of the Year and guided the team to a runner-up finish at the NCAA World Series. John Trask—Men’s Soccer John Trask was tabbed to be the sixth coach in the history of the Wisconsin men’s soccer program on Jan. 20. Trask has been coaching at the highest levels of national and international soccer for nearly 20 years, and comes to Wisconsin after spending the past five seasons as the head coach of the University of Illinois-Chicago. Trask is regarded to be one of the best coaches in the game of soccer and has spent 14 years at the collegiate ranks, and even has five seasons of Major League Soccer coaching experience. During his time at UIC he developed the program into a conference powerhouse, winning three Horizon League titles and qualifying for the NCAA tournament three straight seasons from 2006 to 2008. Trask was awarded Horizon League Coach of the Year in both of those years. A native of Milwaukee, Trask, who was a four year letter winner at Indiana, spent five seasons as an assistant in the MLS with the Miami Fusion from 2000-’01, D.C. United from 2002-’03 and FC Dallas for the 2004 season before his tenure at UIC. Lisa Stone—Women’s Basketball Lisa Stone is entering her eighth season at the helm of the Wisconsin women’s basketball team, after guiding the Badgers to a berth in the NCAA tournament this past March. That was the team’s first berth in the tournament since 2002, and only the seventh appearance in school history. For that season, her peers named Stone Big Ten Coach of the Year. Stone has led the Badgers to four straight winning seasons, which includes two 20-win seasons. She ranks in the top 30 of active Division I coaches in winning percentage with a .687 mark and a 25-year coaching record of 487-222. Prior to her arrival in Madison, Stone was the head coach at Drake University. Before that she built the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire Blugolds into a D-III powerhouse. In her 12 seasons at Eau-Claire she led the Blugolds to 11 20-win seasons and 11 appearances in the Div. III NCAA tournament, including the national title game in 1997.

sports

15 Summer Registration Issue 2010

dailycardinal.com/sports

Football

Expectations high as many playmakers return By Parker Gabriel

the primary back up.

THE DAILY CARDINAL

One year ago, the Wisconsin football team entered the fall as a damaged product. The team underachieved in 2008, head coach Bret Bielema appeared to be on the hot seat, and many expected another lackluster year. What a difference 10 wins can make. This year, expectations are right back through the roof as the Badgers return talent on both sides of the ball, including last year’s Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year, junior running back John Clay. He will garner the most attention, but there are many other key positions and players to keep an eye out for this fall in Camp Randall. . Quarterback Senior signal-caller Scott Tolzien is returning after a junior season in which he led the Big Ten with a 143.0 quarterback efﬁciency rating. That level of success came as somewhat of a surprise, as Tolzein had to beat out both senior Dustin Scherer and sophomore Curt Phillips for the job. Phillips, now a redshirt sophomore, will miss the entire season after tearing his ACL in spring practice. The injury compromises the Badgers’ depth at the position and means redshirt freshman John Budmayr will be

Running Back This is the position where the Badgers should make their living this year. Led by last year’s Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year and Heisman hopeful, John Clay, UW has a stable of running backs capable of controlling any game. Clay rushed for a Big Ten-best 1,517 yards and 18 touchdowns. In his freshman season, Montee Ball asserted himself as the No. 2 back and has risen to heir-apparent status behind Clay. Wide Receiver The Badgers will also have a talented corps of pass-catchers this season. Junior Nick Toon leads the unit, coming off a sophomore campaign in which he caught 54 passes for 804 yards and four scores. Senior Issac Anderson provided another reliable target for Tolzein last year, hauling in 30 passes. Fellow senior David Gilreath remains a threat to make big plays across the middle with his standout speed, and senior Kyle Jefferson will be a big target if he can stay healthy. Tight End The Badgers may have lost another tight end to the NFL in Garrett

Graham, but they will once again be dangerous from the position. Senior Lance Kendricks exploded on to the scene last season, catching 29 passes for 356 yards and three scores and leading the team with seven catches for 129 yards in UW’s 20-14 victory over Miami in the Champs Sports Bowl last December. Behind Kendricks, the Badgers will be inexperienced, with junior Jake Byrne being the only other member of the unit to see playing time last season. Offensive Line With a running game as dynamic as Wisconsin’s, it figures that the offensive line would be dominant. The Badgers return all five starters and have enough bodies to produce back-ups that could start at many other Division I schools. Anchored by First Team All-Big Ten left-tackle and senior Gabe Carimi, this mammoth offensive line has the ability to wear down defensive lines, in the rough-and-tumble Big Ten conference. Junior right tackle Josh Ogelsby will be a wild card, as he possesses the prototypical size of NFL tackles but has yet to put it all together on the field. Defensive line The defensive line suffered more

ISABEL ÁLVAREZ/CARDINAL FILE PHOTO

If junior running back John Clay continues to improve this year, he could be a legitimate contender for the Heisman Trophy key losses than any other position this offseason. In addition to losing the heart and soul of the defense in O’Brien Schofield, UW graduated it’s two starting tackles. That may prompt junior J.J. Watt to move inside to tackle, where he is more likely to face double teams and making plays on the edge will be more difficult. Junior Lewis Nzegwu will need to step up and contribute as a defensive end. If the youngsters can form a serviceable rotation, UW should be alright up front. Linebacker This linebacking corps has a chance to be as dynamic as any in the league. Borland put together a stellar freshman season in which he recorded 10.5 tackles for loss, forced five fumbles and was named Big Ten Freshman of the Year. If fellow sophomore Mike Taylor can return to form coming off of knee surgery, this will be a formidably athletic group of playmakers.

Cornerback With junior Aaron Henry moving to free safety, it will be up to juniors Devin Smith and Antonio Fenelus and senior Niles Brinkley to ﬁnd consistency and keep opposing passing games in check. The corners provided a bright spot on an otherwise dull Spring Game, and will probably play a slightly more aggressive style under new secondary coach Chris Ash. Safety The Badgers lose the quarterback of their defense with the departure of Chris Maragos, although athleticism will be in no short supply for UW’s last line of defense. Henry moves over from cornerback and will have a lot to learn, but his raw ability is obvious. Senior strong safety Jay Valai can get caught out of position at times, but will be one of the most feared hitters in the country this year. The development of these two as a unit will be pivotal to the Badgers success.

Summer Registration Issue 2010

dailycardinal.com