Monday, September 10, 2012 - The Daily Cardinal

PEDESTRIAN PSA:

A message to bicyclists +PAGE TWO

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Boy bands are back ...and more you missed during this year’s VMAs.

+ARTS, page 5

Complete campus coverage since 1892

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Monday, September 10, 2012

New UHS program seeks to prevent sexual assaults Meghan Chua The Daily Cardinal

Abigail Waldo/the daily cardinal

Ben Hoffman, 29, races toward the finish line in eight hours and 32 minutes, winning the professional division of the Ironman Wisconsin triathlon.

Ironman triathlon takes over Madison

By Abby Becker The Daily Cardinal

A University of Wisconsin-Madison chemistry professor crossed the finish line in just over nine hours Sunday at Madison’s annual Ironman triathlon, where thousands of family members, supporters and volunteers packed the streets to wildly cheer on approximately 2,900 competitors.

Thomas Brunold, 43, is a chemistry professor at UW-Madison. He has crossed an Ironman triathlon finish line 12 times, and this year he finished tenth overall and first in the amateur division.

“You can’t really describe the feeling,” Brunold said. “You work so

hard and after nine hours... it’s done.”

This is the city’s eleventh Ironman Wisconsin event, which consists of a 2.4 mile swim in Lake Monona, a 112-mile, two-loop bike path through Dane County and a 26.2 mile run through downtown Madison, the UW-Madison campus and Camp Randall stadium.

Male winner Ben Hoffman, 29, finished first overall in eight hours and 32 minutes. Female champion Elizabeth Lyle, 34, finished in 9 hours and 34 minutes.

The indescribability of finally crossing the longawaited finish line was difficult to explain for present and past competitors.

Mark Porter, who com-

peted in an Ironman triathlon last year, said stepping over the finish line is “spiritual” and “unbelievable.”

While the athletes swim, bike and run through Madison and the areas surrounding the city, spectators cheer on their loved ones, waiting hours for only a glimpse of their competitor.

However brief that moment is, the fans and volunteers play a key role in keeping up the athletes’ morales, according to former Ironman competitor Carrie Mills.

“When things get rough, you need the fans to get you up a hill or keep you going

The University of WisconsinMadison is attempting to increase awareness and prevent sexual assault violence on campus with a new online program that all first-year students are expected to complete.

University Health Services and the Division of Student Life at UW-Madison helped produce the “Tonight” program based on UW student and staff input as well as statistics about sexual assault on campus.

Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment Chair Meagan Minster said programs like “Tonight” educate students about obtaining consent and what bystanders can do in sexual assault scenarios.

“Sexual assault [is] a community problem,” Minster said. “We really encourage students to learn about it both for their own benefit and to be…able to help their friends if it would happen to them.”

Students who do not know the definitions of rape and dating violence show “the highest risk for both perpetration and…failure to intervene,” according to the “Tonight” program’s website.

Many of the students the Daily Cardinal spoke with had not heard of the program or looked into it.

UW-Madison Freshman Sam Cucci, a student who has completed the “Tonight” program, said it taught her how to interfere in an instance of possible sexual assault “without making a big deal about it” and give advice to a person who may be in an abusive relationship.

“I thought it was very helpful for students to like be forced to watch that,” Cucci said. “It made me realize that [sexual assault] is very serious and common.”

First-year students can access the program through Learn@UW, and other students can find more information at www.uhs.wisc.edu/tonight.

Young Republicans react to end of Democratic National Convention

By Jack Casey The Daily Cardinal

Wisconsin’s young Republicans are criticizing Democrats’ message upon the conclusion of the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte last week, saying they didn’t make a good enough case to address the problems facing the country’s youth.

Wisconsin College Republicans said in a statement Friday President Barack Obama failed to outline a plan to deal with the

current youth unemployment rate in his convention speech.

“With youth unemployment hovering around 18 percent, all the President could say was that his policies are working, with no mention of unemployment at all,” the statement said.

UW College Republicans Chair Jeff Snow called the President’s speech at the

republicans page 3

ironman page 3

Local group promotes suicide awareness A local safety community group is hosting events in Dane County throughout the week to promote suicide awareness in honor of World Suicide Prevention Day Tuesday.

Safe Communities, an organization dedicated to increasing safety throughout Madison and Dane County, and their partners have joined together to form a Suicide Prevention Task Force.

The week is a time for communities worldwide to collaborate to prevent suicide, which is the number one cause of violent injury death in Dane County, according to Safe Communities’ Executive Director Cheryl Wittke.

“If we bring light to this subject, we can change lives,” Chair of the Suicide Prevention Task Force Susan Conlin Opheim said.

“Suicide is often preventable

with treatment and support.”

Events during the week, which are free and open to the public, include training sessions, support groups, a supportive walk and speaking programs.

Safe Communities also announced the fifth Suicide Prevention Summit will take place Jan. 25.

For more information on these events, see the whole story at dailycardinal.com.

downtown

Having a ball Ping Pong balls marked with coupons redeemable for store discounts are tossed off the roof of The University Book Store into the eager hands of students Friday afternoon. + Photo by Grey Satterfield

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

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hi 77º / lo 53º

Tuesday: Sunny

hi 84º / lo 60º

Monday, September 10, 2012

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892 Volume 122, Issue 6

2142 Vilas Communication Hall 821 University Avenue Madison, Wis., 53706-1497 (608) 262-8000 • fax (608) 262-8100

News and Editorial edit@dailycardinal.com

Today: Sunny

Editor in Chief Scott Girard

Managing Editor Alex DiTullio

News Team News Manager Taylor Harvey Campus Editor Sam Cusick College Editor Cheyenne Langkamp City Editor Abby Becker State Editor Tyler Nickerson Enterprise Editor Samy Moskol Associate News Editor Meghan Chua Features Editor Ben Siegel Opinion Editors Nick Fritz • David Ruiz Editorial Board Chair Matt Beaty Arts Editors Jaime Brackeen • Marina Oliver Sports Editors Vince Huth • Matt Masterson Page Two Editors Riley Beggin • Jenna Bushnell Life & Style Editor Maggie DeGroot Photo Editors Stephanie Daher • Grey Satterfield Graphics Editors Dylan Moriarty • Angel Lee Multimedia Editors Eddy Cevilla Science Editor Matthew Kleist Diversity Editor Aarushi Agni Copy Chiefs Molly Hayman • Haley Henschel Mara Jezior • Dan Sparks Copy Editors Rachel Wanat

dailycardinal.com

These streets are made for walkin’ Andy Holsteen a Hol lot to say

S

pending my last few weeks of summer at home in the grotesquely inefficient, sprawl-ridden locale of north suburban Chicago (where your options are to drive or go nowhere) helped in muddling memories of one of my biggest pet-peeves. It unfortunately took only a few days of living in Madison for those suppressed feelings to come flooding back.

While casually walking out of Mad Dog’s, one foot following the other, looking forward, like any standard stroll, I nearly got run down by some guy peeling down the sidewalk on a blue Specialized Hardrock bike.

Once my lunch had finished flashing before my eyes, I expected the cyclist to at least turn around for a friendly wave, or consolatory “sorry,” but I instead

only got a condescending glare and a whiff of burnt rubber.

To me it seems like the purpose of sidewalks is pretty selfexplanatory considering “walk,” not “bike,” is half of the word.

People riding on the sidewalk really wouldn’t bother me if it wasn’t dangerous, pointless and stupid, especially in a city like Madison. Let me break this down for you.

There are a vast number of people who pay little or no attention to where they are walking in this city, for better or for worse. With distractions such as talking on the phone, texting, a blaring loud iPod, or plain ol’ drunkenness (which is especially prevalent in a college town like ours) riding up behind someone on a bike is just asking for trouble.

I’ve seen people blindly walk into traffic while texting (inebriation has been

The Dirty Bird

known to cause this as well).

A misplaced bike is much quieter than a misplaced car, so someone inadvertently stepping in front of a biker on the sidewalk is pretty plausible, and relatively terrifying.

Granted, a lot of people who choose to ride on the sidewalk go slowly, which is definitely preferable to whipping around at 20 mph. With these riders, an accident isn’t going to be catastrophic. But I can say from my own near-collision this is not a universal habit, and we’re better off safe than sorry.

Maybe the most frustrating part of this whole phenomenon is the fact that Madison is extremely accommodating to bikers. Bicycling.com ranked Madison the seventh most bikefriendly city in the U.S. And no, it’s not because of our evenly paved sidewalks. In fact, the city instated a Bicycle Transportation

Plan in 1975 and has been making continual improvements to cycling-oriented infrastructure ever since. This includes those bike lanes and paths that are all over the city so people don’t have to ride on the sidewalk.

I’m not on some kind of crusade against bikers, or an agoraphobe (someone with an extreme fear of crowded spaces) who can’t walk anywhere without looking over my shoulder. I actually really like biking, and don’t want something that I enjoy to get a bad rap when someone gets hurt. Drivers already have beef with those of us who choose to ignore stop signs. So please, for the safety of pedestrians and respectability of bikers, stay off the sidewalk.

Do you often times find yourself shaking your fist at those bikers on the sidwalk? Or do you disagree with this PSA? Tell Andy your thoughts at holsteen@wisc.edu.

sex and the student body

Turn those bunk bed whines into bump ‘n’ grinds

Business and Advertising business@dailycardinal.com Business Manager Emily Rosenbaum Advertising Manager Nick Bruno Senior Account Executives Jade Likely • Philip Aciman Account Executives Dennis Lee • Chelsea Chrouser Emily Coleman • Joy Shin Erin Aubrey • Zach Kelly Web Director Eric Harris Public Relations Manager Alexis Vargas Marketing Manager Becky Tucci Events Manager Andrew Straus Creative Director Claire Silverstein Copywriters Dustin Bui • Bob Sixsmith The Daily Cardinal is a nonprofit organization run by its staff members and elected editors. It receives no funds from the university. Operating revenue is generated from advertising and subscription sales.

The Daily Cardinal is published weekdays and distributed at the University of WisconsinMadison and its surrounding community with a circulation of 10,000.

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Editorial Board Matt Beaty • Riley Beggin • Alex DiTullio Anna Duffin • Nick Fritz • Scott Girard David Ruiz

Board of Directors Jenny Sereno, President Scott Girard • Alex DiTullio Emily Rosenbaum • John Surdyk Melissa Anderson • Nick Bruno Don Miner • Chris Drosner Jason Stein • Nancy Sandy Tina Zavoral

© 2012, The Daily Cardinal Media Corporation ISSN 0011-5398

For the record Corrections or clarifications?

Call The Daily Cardinal office at 608-262-8000 or send an e-mail to edit@dailycardinal.com.

Alex Tucker sex columnist

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eds. Bunk beds. Like in the dorms. Ew. Alex! Alex! Yes class? How are we supposed to have sex in these beds?

They’re… LOFTED!!!

Ah, yes, the occupational hazard of wanting “so much more room for activities.” This hazard is so cock blocking that the Urban Dictionary definition of a bunk bed is “a place where no one will ever have sex.”

You may have knocked your own head on the ceiling just waking up, so how are you possibly going to avoid a plunging partner concussing him or herself ?

More importantly, how can you maximize thrust potential when so little space remains between your bum and the ceiling? There are a few tricks to get around this barrier while you hopefully utilize another (condom joke, anyone? Bueller?).

So, bunk sex and you. Let’s begin with the most basic position, missionary. This face-to-face entry gets up close and personal in a nearceiling situation.

Because being more upright is impossible with low ceilings, the partner on top will instead need to rest on his/her forearms, forcing each person’s face to be up in the grill of the other. Missionary becomes an even more romantic position in a bunk, with lots of eye contact and kissing possible, but less arm and hand availability. Not optimal for one-night-stands, or less committed sexual forays.

The second and third of Sex Out Loud’s “basic positions” (found on their blog at sexoutloud.com/blog) are similarly difficult in the bunk bed. The penetrated partner will be able to gyrate atop whichever sack buddy is lying down, but the seated partner has to lean down over the laying partner’s torso to avoid a head bang during your bed bang! (I know, it’s corny!

Gimme a break.)

Although woman on top (as it’s called in heterosexual relationships) is doable, it may be awkward with a new partner. The always fun doggiestyle is pretty much down for the count here, as there simply isn’t enough room for the upright partner to fit between the ceiling and the bed.

One ever-reliable position is spoon sex, in which the phallus’d partner plays the big spoon behind the orificed partner’s small spoon as each person lays on their side.

It’s not easy to maneuver, however it leaves four hands open for further exploration.

Still, it can be difficult to get a lot of power out of this setting, and you might be looking for a way to pack a little more punch. Don’t fret.

Luckily, you and Borat have something in common: you both have a chair. However, you also have a desk, wall, maybe a rug-equipped floor and possibly even a futon. All of these places can be utilized for sexytimes; be creative with your positions and you may find that sitting or standing variations on old classics are even more pleasurable than the ones your bunk is failing to provide.

The most important part of dorm lovin’ is making sure your roommate is either out of the room or genuinely okay

with you making time while he or she is around.

Let’s review: having sex with other people requires consent. People forced to witness intercourse that they did not consent to are having their rights violated. So before you get down in your room, make sure your roomie is down with it.

Another option is a sexile.

Find out what time your dorm mate is going to be out and use that time to its maximum potential, or ask him or her to leave for a while. Better yet, make your partner’s roommate leave. It’s only fair, right? Just kidding.

Ideally you and your sexy lover can alternate whose room you use, and get those pesky bunkmates the heck

outta there, at least for a little while. Set up a code with your live-in friend; maybe shoot him or her a text before you need the area to yourself, or hang a hat on the door if you and your partner got there first. Just make sure you clear it up before either you or your roommate start making time with your new classmates, and be sure to respect your roommate’s desire to use your shared space sans-sex.

Good luck, Badgers, and let me know how this advice works for you!

Have something you want to say to Alex? Feel free to email your responses, sex tips, questions, and article requests to sex@dailycardinal.com.

Like any good sex columnist, she’d love to hear from you!

news

Monday, September 10, 2012 3

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dailycardinal.com

UW students promote local eating at festival

By Taylor Harvey The Daily Cardinal

On campus

Bowling at the Bash

Students clown around while rolling a human bowling into giant pins at the Union South Bash Friday night. Union South hosted many events as part of the Bash to kick off the fall semester. + Photo by Jared Burris

Man mugged on University Avenue An unidentified suspect robbed a man on the 2300 block of University Avenue early Sunday morning.

According to Madison Police Department Lt. Stephanie Bradley Wilson, an African-American man in his twenties approached the victim on University Avenue at approximately 3:53 a.m.

Police said the suspect

put something against the victim’s back and asked him, “What you got?”

The suspect then allegedly took off with the victim’s credit cards, debit card and cell phone.

Ald. Scott Resnick, District 8, said muggings tend to occur late at night and students should walk in groups as a safety precaution.

Resnick also said stu-

dents need to be aware both males and females can be victims of robberies and other late night crimes.

This past summer, police presence increased on the 500 block of University Avenue after a shooting on May 19 injured three people and five suspects attacked Wisconsin Badgers senior running back Montee Ball on Aug. 1.

Man allegedly assaults, robs woman on 700 block of West Washington Avenue Sunday A man allegedly assaulted and robbed a woman walking on the 700 block of West Washington Avenue early Sunday morning.

An African-American male between the ages of 22 and 30 allegedly assaulted the victim and stole several of her credit cards, according to Madison Police Department Lt. Stephanie Bradley Wilson.

The suspect was 5’9” with

a medium to heavy build, according to the report.

Also on Sunday, an unidentified male suspect robbed another man who was walking alone on the 2300 block of University Avenue.

“In terms of crime... the reality is both of these incidents that occurred Saturday night both appear to be victims walking by themselves alone late at night,” Ald. Mike

Verveer, District 4, said.

“That’s when many of these crimes occur.”

This summer the city increased funding to provide more officers in the downtown area on weekend nights. However, the parts of Washington and University Avenues where the incidents occurred are not affected by the Downtown Safety Initiative, according to Verveer.

The University of WisconsinMadison’s Slow Food chapter ran a table that catered to children at the Celebrate South Madison festival Saturday in an effort to promote locally grown food and healthy eating to children who live in the south Madison area.

An annual south Madison tradition since 2009, the Celebrate South Madison festival’s purpose is to promote the cultures and food that exist in South Madison to the rest of the Madison area, according to Slow Food UW Co-Director Cara Ladd.

“It’s a really good way to connect with a neighborhood in the backyard of campus,” Ladd said.

Celebrate South Madison is located in the grassy area by Planned Parenthood on South Park Street where the South Madison Farmer’s Market is held every Sunday through Friday afternoon from May to October.

According to UW Slow Food Co-Director Tori Law, the festival is

ironman from page 1 on the run,” Mills said. “The fans keep you going.”

Steve and Beckie Saul volunteered to support their son in his first triathlon and said the swimming portion was the most “incredible” part.

“As you sat on [Monona] Terrace, it looked like about a million minnows swimming,” Steve Saul said.

republicans from page 1 convention uninspiring and said younger people should be concerned.

“He spoke in just generics and he has no specifics and no plan to curb unemployment and to reduce it, especially amongst youth,” Snow said.

Snow also said both Mitt Romney and Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan can alleviate concerns for youth voters by placing an emphasis on fixing the debt and promoting private sector growth to allow college graduates to find jobs more quickly.

“Governor Romney is a business guru with great private sector experience and Paul Ryan is a wizard when it comes to the debt,” Snow said.

UW-Madison College Democrats Chair Chris Hoffman disagreed, arguing that Obama has been talking about job growth

about “sharing, community and getting to know different parts of Madison and supporting a different area.”

“As students we are isolated on campus and don’t see the surrounding areas [of Madison],” Law said.

Law helped children at the festival create their own “Rainbow Veggie Wraps,” a vegetable snack wrap consisting of farmer’s market vegetables and locally sourced tortillas.

Law said Slow Food UW’s tabling efforts were successful because the organization excited children about eating healthy and children did not hesitate to come back for more veggie wraps.

According to Ladd, part of Slow Food UW’s mission is to erase the stigma that south Madison is a ‘”food desert,” or an area with few grocery stores nearby.

“We are trying to get people down there involved in where their food comes from,” Ladd said.

Slow Food UW holds several programs in south Madison such as hosting cooking nights and practicing garden maintenance with the Boys and Girls club each week.

Louie Caffero and Tammy Schlau had more to look forward to at the end of the race than the average competitor. Just minutes before crossing the finish line, “Ironmates” Caffero and Schlau were married.

Caffero and Schlau attended the same high school but met later in life, racing and training together.

Schlau said it felt “crazy” finishing the race as a married couple. and helping college students with loan debt since he took office. Hoffman also said that although Obama has lost some student support, he still holds a doubledigit lead in that age group over Romney in most polls.

“He’s been doing the best he can do with the hand he has been dealt which has been a horrible hand to say the least,” Hoffman said.

The president may face issues with his approval rating amongst youth voters, according to a recent survey cited by the Wisconsin College Republicans. The JZ Analytics poll showed Obama’s approval has fallen from 60 percent in 2008 to 49 percent today.

His opponent in the election, Romney, has an approval rating of 41 percent among youth voters according to the same poll, a significantly higher number than the 30 percent John McCain had in 2008.

Join the classiest newspaper on campus Daily Cardinal Fall Recruitment Meeting Friday, September 14th, 2012 4 p.m. 2195 Vilas Hall

Shoaib Altaf/the daily cardinal

Supporters of President Barack Obama cheer before Vice President Joe Biden takes the stage at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte.

arts Prerecorded pop plagues MTV’s VMAs dailycardinal.com

Monday, September 10, 2012 5

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photos courtesy mtv.com and ew.com

Last Thursday’s Video Music Awards played host to a plethora of pop both live and lip-synched. Backstreet may be back (alright!) in the form of neo-boy-band One Direction, but chivalry is dead when it comes to thank yous and monetary motives within the continuously burgeoning pop industry and the artists who fuel it.

Andy Holsteen guest columnist

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ast Thursday MTV hosted the 2012 Video Music Awards. If there is anything that can be taken away from the VMAs it’s that popular musicians in the U.S. don’t even need to try anymore.

I’m not a huge fan of pop music (albeit, when “Call Me Maybe” comes on, I’ll drop everything and sing along), so my watching of the VMAs was mostly a fluke. In fact, I stayed tuned to MTV during the award show because so much about the ceremony felt wrong.

After sitting through a few hours of overly processed and largely prerecorded performances, in conjunction with overtly pompous artists, the magic of the VMAs quickly faded for me.

Lip-synching live performances used to be a practice that was frowned upon, even for huge artists, but it is now apparently commonplace. It

seemed like half of the VMAs performances would begin with live singing, cut to an already recorded track for the majority of the song, and then end live again.

The VMAs radiate a vibe of being contrived, and that the ceremony exists for the sole purpose of making money.

Only three years ago Britney Spears was getting ripped apart by critics for lip-synching at her shows, so this complacency for pop live performances is a recent development.

Pink was possibly the most obvious example of someone performing at the VMAs using a backing track this year, and many of her vocal parts were clearly recorded.

This wasn’t hard to pick up either, especially once her drummer started playing a

different beat than what was coming out of the speakers, or when she took the microphone away from her mouth and the lyrics kept going.

I can understand the reasoning for why Pink’s performance was lip-synched, or just over-filtered— in certain parts, she was all over the stage and even swung across the concert hall like a trapeze artist on a giant rope swing. It is the “Video” Music Awards, thus the visual element of each performance is clearly important, but allowing artists to pop in a tape instead of actually playing seems like a sacrilege to live music.

Despite their juvenile image and uncanny resemblance to the Backstreet Boys, a style that apparently won’t die, British sensation One Direction was one of the only groups to adhere to a certain standard that should be synonymous with award shows.

No, it was not their heavy voice manipulation while performing the appropriately named hit “One Thing,” (although they didn’t fail to

deliver in that category). The winners of “Best Pop Video” honors were one of the only groups that had the courtesy to thank anyone when receiving their award. Now, the VMAs are not the Grammys, and I don’t expect Moonman winners to prepare elegant acceptance speeches. But saying thanks to the people who helped you along doesn’t seem like too much to ask. If for no other reason, it would be better if the idols of millions of American teens showed some humbleness and humility instead of being so conceited by simply taking their prize and moving on.

The VMAs radiate a vibe of being contrived, and that the ceremony exists for the sole purpose of making money.

Obviously there’s nothing wrong with wanting to turn a profit, but I’m not sure the VMAs, in addition to the popular music industry in general, go about this in the right way.

It seems like once music, a medium that can evoke myriad emotions in people, is bro-

ken down so it’s nothing but an assembly line, where songs are written, produced and performed by a prescribed formula, it ceases to be art at all. I have a pretty good guess as to what is on someone’s mind when they name their label Cash Money Records. People should expect the pop industry to do a little bit more than just take their money, but at the moment an indifferent audience is allowing standards to drop.

While the VMAs are traditionally a goldmine for controversy— this year highlighted by Rebel Wilson’s rambunctious pube-kini T-shirt—any legitimate interest in music (or music videos for that matter) gets overshadowed. Besides being borderline ridiculous, I wouldn’t call the VMAs a joke, per se, but more so a synecdoche for pop music’s continual migration away from artistic expression and more towards becoming an institution that is nothing more than a money machine.

Disagree with Andy? Still think “Laguna Beach” was totally unscripted? Email him at aholsteen@wisc.edu.

Sibling rivalry abounds in Cheever’s scrupulous short story Jessica Korneff senior literature critic

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nyone who has ever experienced an awkward family get-together knows how it feels—a lapse in conversation here or there, a wayward comment or those aggravating remarks from some pretentious cousin often permeate the day.

In the case of the Pommeroy family (an aging, dysfunctional group deeply disillusioned about their own lives) the tensions of an uncomfortable get-together are compounded as they struggle to maintain normalcy amidst an atmosphere of disaster.

In “Goodbye, My Brother,” a 1951 classic short story by John Cheever, these complex relationships are tested as the Pommeroys return for a nostalgic weekend at their vacation home at Laud’s Head in Massachusetts.

Their house, a recently built mansion designed to have a historic, crumbling appearance, sits nerve-wrackingly on the edge of a cliff and overlooks the sea. The

narrator, who remains unnamed throughout the story, describes his family as very close in spirit.

Yet, they appear to be more or less estranged from one another.

The narrator and his three siblings all live in separate cities with separate families and jobs and rarely see each other. Their one remaining connection is the vacation home, a place in which they all share an equity and where they stubbornly reconvene every few years.

This retreat to Laud’s Head is a family tradition, and even as the four Pommeroy offspring approach middle age, the memories of days at the beach or hikes along ocean-view paths as children seem as real and relevant as their current lives. In fact, memories of the past can be found everywhere in Laud’s Head; from the childhood competition the narrator feels when playing games with his brother Chaddy to the family activities that have remained unchanged for decades.

When the narrator and his wife decide to attend a dance at the local country club with the

theme “Come as You Wish You Were,” the narrator finds it comical rather than sad when everybody comes dressed as figments of their past, as either brides or football players.

The one character who doesn’t bow down to this fervent attachment to youth is Lawrence, the narrator’s youngest brother.

Lawrence is the polar opposite to his older brother’s happy-golucky, deluded approach to life.

While the rest of the Pommeroys spend their days drinking and avoiding their problems, Lawrence lashes out inflammatory comments and calls out his siblings and mother on their delusions. As a result, he is labeled the black sheep of the family, the scapegoat and cause of anxiety in an otherwise serene and peaceful vacation.

Yet, the vacation is not as idyllic as the narrator paints it to be.

His siblings are estranged, his mother is bordering alcoholism, and their father who died years ago in a sailing accident is buried in the same sea the house is quite literally about to collapse into.

When Lawrence presents his brother with these hard truths, the narrator, terrified of reality and unable to cope, grabs a sea-soaked root from the beach and whacks his brother over the head with practically murderous intentions.

Anyone with a sibling knows the feeling of wanting to smack somebody over the head; the difference is, most people don’t actually do it.

What’s especially interesting, however, is that this isn’t the first time this has happened to the narrator and his brother.

Anyone with a sibling knows the feeling of wanting to smack somebody over the head.

The narrator mentions, in passing, that he once whacked Lawrence over the head when they were children, and Lawrence had immediately gone complain-

ing to their parents, which is exactly how Lawrence reacts as a grown man at the time of the story, stumbling into his family home in tears, shouting about how his brother attacked him on the beach.

In the end, the polar opposite brothers, each symbolizing different perspectives on life, revert to their same childish behaviors.

“Goodbye, My Brother” is a story about brothers, about delusions and about a family that struggles to share the relationships of the past that they can only dream of in the present.

It’s also a story that asks the question: Is it better to be deluded and happy, or selfaware and miserable?

In “Goodbye, My Brother,” Cheever has created a memorable short story that gives insight to the dysfunctional characteristics found in almost any family, and leaves the reader appreciative of even the snarkiest cousin at her own family dinner.

Do you have a favorite book you want Jessica to review? Shoot her an email at korneff@wisc.edu.

comics

Thomas Jefferson’s letter to William Roscoe. We are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor to tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.

dailycardinal.com

6 • Monday, September 10, 2012

Today’s Sudoku

I can wait all day for free food

Evil Bird

By Caitlin Kirihara kirihara@wisc.edu

© Puzzles by Pappocom

Eatin’ Cake

By Dylan Moriarty www.EatinCake.com

Caved In

By Nick Kryshak nkryshak@wisc.edu

Solution, tips and computer program available at www.sudoku.com.

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

First in Twenty

Answer key available at www.dailycardinal.com

CAST OFF ACROSS 1 Bagpiper’s cap 4 White wading bird 9 Group of eight 14 Genetic cell material 15 A bouquet has one 16 ___ Jean, aka Marilyn 17 Lend a hand to 18 Kind of campus protest 19 Honor system’s basis 20 Thing you may be dared to cross 23 Car bomb?

24 Prepare to fire 25 Worn-down pencil 28 Auto damage 32 Tear a stripe off 34 Dadaist pioneer 37 Ticket entitlements 39 Bloke from Stoke-onTrent 40 Spectacular football play 44 Enjoy the Appalachian trail 45 A deadly sin 46 Is down with, as a disease 47 E, to Einstein 50 Rough wool cloth 52 “... neither the time ___ the place” 53 What a doctor might ask you to say

55 Feature of old quarters 59 Make a decision 64 Below, to a bard 66 Clint’s “High Plains Drifter” co-star 67 Shout of disgust 68 Washing machine phase 69 Archie’s better half 70 Alphabet concluder 71 Motion-picture spools 72 Los ___ (“La Bamba” band) 73 Slip up DOWN 1 Breadcrumbs, in a children’s story 2 Japanese cartoons 3 Title for a lady 4 Freedom from hardship 5 Big smile 6 Vatican tribunal 7 Middle East leader 8 Country music’s Tucker 9 Not delayed 10 It is measured in ears 11 Straight up, on a compass 12 German spa Bad ___ 13 Bit of body art, for short 21 Part of TGIF 22 Hamper part

26 Upstate New York city 27 Second Hebrew letters 29 It divides the court 30 Sailors 31 Clown’s heightenhancer 33 Wharton conferral 34 Drained of color 35 African lumberer 36 Asset at the card table 38 Winter precipitation 41 Bard’s “always” 42 Telecom giant 43 Fleet cats 48 The may be left in stitches 49 Cry of derision 51 Apply makeup 54 Dumpy digs 56 Surgical dressing 57 Hybrid whose father is a lion 58 Upper regions of space, figuratively 60 “___ be over soon” 61 Alter the appearance of 62 Bed in a nursery 63 “Do ___ others ...”

64 Big mfr. of point-ofsale terminals 65 Get a good look at

lassic

Scribbles n’ Bits

By Angel Lee alee23@wisc.edu

Classic

By Melanie Shibley Shibley@wisc.edu

opinion Economic assumptions damage society dailycardinal.com

noah phillips opinion columnist

A

s we move through the world, there come times when we can’t help but interact with other people or make decisions.

When this happens, I would argue that we rely on two things (among others) to see us through the trying process: our assumptions and our values.

Most of us have values in common. Most of us value solidarity, at least in the sense that we are aware that every human on Earth is on Earth, together.

Most of us value compassion, in the sense that we appreciate and recognize the suffering of others as something in ourselves, too.

There are many other examples of shared values.

The profit motive, always the bottom line in questions of economics must not become our bottom lines too.

Another thing that informs our decisions and our interactions is our assumptions. We all have them, and we all carry them around with us, like hermit crabs carry their shells or slugs carry slime. These are imposed on us from the outside world.

Our values help shape our actions, but our assumptions set the parameters. They dictate what is and is not possible, offer us the menu of thought while necessarily making omissions. Economics, as a disci-

pline, assumes the worst in each of us. It assumes we are motivated by self-interest. It puts a price tag on our ambitions. It auctions off what makes us human.

Economics has come to dominate the intellectual underpinnings of our society. We have internalized its assumptions as our own, and it has become a self-fulfilling discipline. Why can’t we all just get along? I submit that it is because economists tell us we can’t. Economists tell us we live in a world premised on scarcity and opportunism, and so we behave as if they were right.

I will use one example right now of something economists trumpet as a universal truth, a truth which inspires avarice and stinginess in all of us: there is no such thing as a free lunch.

When an economist tells you that there is no such thing as a free lunch, what they mean is that everything has costs associated with it. If you get free pizza at some promotional event for a student organization, an economist would remind you that the pizza wasn’t really free. Every crumb of it cost somebody something, from the energetic organization leader who filed the paperwork for a slice of (your) segregated fees to the dairyman who made the cheese. Your free pizza was budgeted, haggled over and accounted for.

But this thought paradigm does not hold equally true in all situations. Some meals, freely given and thankfully received, are free in a way much more fundamental than economics has language to describe. A potluck, where no one is turned

Monday, September 10, 2012

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wil gibb/cardinal File photo

Homeless and impoverished people often rely on free or discounted meals for nourishment. Hunger Meal simulated this situation by splitting attendees into upper, middle and lower class groups. away and where no one keeps score, where my friend brings his grandmother’s mac ‘n’ cheese recipe and your friend brings the craft beer, is one example. Economists might uncomfortably chalk this communal meal up as high in utility, its value not monetary but associated with satisfaction.

My point isn’t that economists don’t attend potlucks, my point is that their scientific approach to potlucks is woefully inadequate.

Sharing is treated as something odd, something mysterious, something which threatens to undermine the basic assumptions of economics. At best, sharing is the exception to the carefully proven notion that people only really look out for themselves.

You know, that’s baloney.

Whether or not you believe in altruism, you know that coop-

eration is as much a part of the human condition as conflict and competition. Economics treats cooperation as freakish, setting expectations only of ruthlessness and greed, to the detriment of us all.

No wonder we value goods as good. No wonder we treat those who advocate gift-based economies as wacko radicals.

We have made the market paramount. We have put the burden of proof on our parks and libraries, rather than our much less meaningful financial institutions, to justify their existences. The profit motive, always the bottom line in questions of economics must not become our bottom lines too.

There are certainly good economists who do good work.

Paul Krugman is an obvious example for many, but my roommate is an even more obvious example to those who know

him. He is outstandingly intelligent and capable and he is truly interested in helping people. But his work is still premised on these notions of self-interest, of enforced scarcity, of greed, an outlook blind to intrinsic worth rather than a worth dictated by supply and demand.

Don’t be blinded. Dispel the assumption that there isn’t enough to go ‘round and embrace your impulse of trust and gratitude, your values of solidarity and compassion.

Don’t do this in spite of economics, or as an exception to the rule of economics, but as an opportunity to step out of the shell you’ve accepted.

Noah Phillip is a sophomore double majoring in history of science and community and nonprofit leadership. Do you violently disagree with Noah’s opinion? Let us know by emailing us at opinion@dailycardinal.com.

Obama is the right leader to deal with tense Middle East Zac pestine Opinion Columnist

W

ith the presidential election looming in the not-so-distant future, several key issues remain effervescent within the news. Clearly, headlines regarding the economy are inescapable, and abortion, healthcare and gay marriage ride just behind in its wake.

At the same time, international policy, an arena that also demands much attention, garners its share of media coverage. And with the Middle East as politically charged as ever,

we look to our fearless leader, our commander-in-chief, el presidente, to guide us past murky waters.

The Arab Spring, which began roughly a year and a half ago when a Tunisian man selfimmolated in response to ongoing mistreatment and harassment from government officials, unleashed a fire storm of revolutions throughout North Africa and the Middle East. We are all aware of the backlash which the Egyptian and Libyan federal governments attempted to defend against and the annihilation that Bashar al-Assad regime is currently carrying out in order to dispel its oppositions’ will to topple it. PostMuammar al-Gadhafi Libya and the notion of a post-Assad Syria continue to raise ques-

tion marks; however, Egypt’s future, and indeed its present, appears much less nebulous.

After the demolition of the government in Egypt under Hosni Mubarak­—a leader who the United States and Israel enjoyed working with because of his willingness to comply with their needs—the international community exhibited much unrest over a potential extremist, yet democratically elected new Egyptian order. The man who replaced Mubarak was Mohamed Morsi, a representative of the Muslim Brotherhood, a party that stands as a powerful opposition group to many political administrations throughout the region. At the time of his induction, much of the Western World grew apprehensive. It was posited that although Morsi

Yo, imma let you finish, but come write for the Daily Cardinal! contact the opinion desk at opinion@dailycardinal.com

may be a better leader for his own people than Mubarak was, he would denounce previous peace treaties, and he would begin to sever pacific ties with some countries whom Egypt had been engaging with nonviolently for over three decades.

So far that has not been the case. And President Obama has been exuding large efforts to make sure that U.S. and Israeli interests are kept alive and healthy throughout Morsi’s tenure. Before a few days ago, Egypt held within its possession $3.2 billion worth of IOUs to the U.S. But as President Obama initiated an Egyptian debt relief package that amount could approach $1 billion.

Obama has assumed a large role in ensuring that Egypt holds true to the 1979 Camp David Accords, the first of Israel’s peace treaties with its Islamic neighbors and its overall nonviolent stance toward Western states.

Stability in this very unstable region can only be made possible through action, not through speech alone. With so much uncertainty during this era of revolutions, we look for leaders who can deftly leverage power through action for the interests of world stability. President Barack Obama is helping to do just that.

Conversely, Republican candidate Mitt Romney‘s campaign’s recent trip to Israel was the cherry on top of an international tour replete with gaffes.

In London he enigmatically questioned the readiness of the Brits for their role as hosts of the Olympics. His following trip to Israel was marred by a speech declaring that the Palestinians’ economic woes are due to the fact that their culture is actually inherently inferior to that of the Israelis.

What his discourse should have included was a way to successfully implement resolutions so that both Israel and Palestine flourish economically.

Rhetoric used throughout the Middle East is currently inflamed and vicious. Fighting fire with fire only creates larger, more destructive, wider-spread fires. Israel, one of our closest allies, needs to be safe and secure under all circumstances. With that said, the approach to peace in the Middle East that exhibits the disparaging of other cultures and the unconditionally complicit attitude towards war is beneficial to none and detrimental to all parties involved.

Zachary is a senior majoring in philosophy and communications. Send any feedback for him to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

Sports

Monday September 10, 2012 DailyCardinal.com

Walker injury returns national attention to football players’ safety

Football

Matthew Kleist too kleist for comfort

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Grey Satterfield/cardinal File photo

Head coach Bret Bielema and the rest of his staff will have to make adjustments to fix an anemic Wisconsin offense that was held scoreless for over 58 minutes on Saturday.

Badgers stumble against Oregon State Turnovers and poor line play stifle Wisconsin’s offense as the team falls in their first road test of the season

By Parker Gabriel the daily cardinal

CORVALIS, Ore.—Say what you will about Wisconsin’s schedule each year, but head coach Bret Bielema entered Saturday’s game against Oregon State 25-0 in regular season, nonconference games.

Dating back to 2005, the Badgers had won 33 consecutive such contests—the second longest in the country behind Louisiana State. Given the same criteria, UW entered Reser Stadium having won 11 straight on the road.

All of those streaks now stand at zero.

No. 13 Wisconsin (1-1) tried to mount a comeback in the final two minutes with a touchdown and what appeared to be an onside kick recovery, but the play was reviewed and reversed, and the Badgers’ worst offensive performance in over two years resulted in an ugly 10-7 loss against the Beavers.

The Badgers offense managed just 207 total yards of offense, and racked up 64 of them on the final scoring drive.

Shut out for the first 58:29, the vaunted Wisconsin rushing attack mustered just 35 rushing yards on 23 attempts. After the offensive line struggled to get consistent push a week ago in a 26-21 win against Northern Iowa, running room was virtually non-existent against the Beavers’ defense.

“I’m not going to sit here and point the finger at the offensive line,” said senior running back and 2011 Heisman finalist Montee Ball (15 carries, 61 yards). “I’m sure I missed holes. I’m going to point the finger at myself.”

Ball and junior James White combined for 72 rushing yards, but three sacks against junior quarterback Danny O’Brien, including two fumbles, subtracted from the net rushing total.

White recovered the first one at UW’s 48 yard-line to prevent a turnover, but the OSU sophomore

Scott Crichton recovered the loose missing,” redshirt junior Travis ball that stopped Wisconsin’s Frederick said. “Obviously it most promising drive of the after- was missing last week and we noon at the Beavers nine-yard line didn’t find it this week.” early in the third quarter.

Despite the struggles, it “That was a critical play appeared Wisconsin would looking back on it, being at the have a chance to tie or win nine-yard line with the bare the game in the final minutes. minimum of getting three points Following UW’s lone score—an in the bag,” said O’Brien, who 11-yard touchdown pass from finished 20-38 for 172 yards, a O’Brien to junior tight end Jacob touchdown and an intercep- Pedersen—sophomore kicker tion. “I was just going to throw it Kyle French lined up to attempt away and he just kind of got me an onside kick and dribbled in the wrong spot.” the ball straight ahead. Borland That three points turned out to and freshman fullback Derek be the difference in the final score, Watt cleared out two defendbut only because of a commend- ers and French fell on the ball able performance from at the 46-yard line.

Wisconsin’s defense.

After a lengthy UW’s defense limreview, the officials ited Oregon State to ruled that French just ten points despite had touched the being on the field for ball before it travAverage yards 35:35. By unofficial eled the necessary per game count, the Beavers ran 10 yards, and the produced by 38 of their 77 plays in Beavers proceeded Badger offense in 2011 Wisconsin territory to run out the clock. and outgained the “You know Badgers by 147 yards. when it’s long it Sophomore OSU usually isn’t good Total yards generated by quarterback Sean if it was ruled in Badger offense Mannion finished with your favor origiagainst Oregon 276 yards (29-47) and nally,” Borland St. on Saturday did not turn the ball said. “From my over as he effectively perspective I ran a Beavers’ offense thought he had it.” predicated on short, “I was honsafe throws and utilizestly completely ing open space. shocked that it “They made plays,” redshirt was overturned,” French junior linebacker Chris Borland said. “I thought it hit one of said. “They had a good scheme their hands first … just going going with their pass routes and underneath and I know I had he kind of got loose once and I more possession of the ball think that was the touchdown.” than he did.”

That touchdown came on a Redshirt junior wide third-and-12 completion from receiver Jared Abbrederis Mannion to sophomore wide left the game after suffering receiver Brandin Cooks (six an injury on a big hit in the rec., 80 yds.) Otherwise, the second quarter. He did not Badgers defense did an effec- return to the game. Redshirt tive job of giving its offense a senior safety Shelton Johnson chance to find a spark. It just left the game in the third never did. quarter and did not return.

“We’re close and we just He was seen on the sideline need to figure out what we’re wearing a sling.

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could spend the next 600 or so words talking about whatever you call what we watched Saturday afternoon (I’m told that was supposed to be football), but I’m not.

We all know what happened and it is just not worth the effort.

However, I am going to stay on the topic of football. Something far more serious than the Badgers losing to Oregon State and subsequently falling from the AP rankings took place on the field this weekend.

During a game on Saturday, Tulane safety Devon Walker collided with a teammate while trying to make a tackle. Walker stopped breathing immediately, CPR was preformed and was removed from the field in an ambulance. He was taken to a hospital where it was discovered that he has suffered a fractured spine resulting from a helmet-tohelmet collision.

Stories like this one are not uncommon in football today at every level. As athletes become stronger and faster, serious injuries to the back, neck and head are increasing.

Football has to change, it is that simple. The safety of the players at every level needs to be the concern.

According to statfox.com, in the 2012 college football season 11 players are already out due to back injuries, five due to neck injuries and six due to head injuries, including Walker. The majority of these players are out either indefinitely or for the rest of the season, while some have even left football all together.

Another 14 athletes are out with concussions. We have only had two weeks of college football.

You can look at these injuries

and think “he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.” That is not true. Yes, there is an aspect of bad luck involved in these injuries, but many of them are cause by improper techniques which are often taught by coaches.

There are many people who still believe in the old school, Lombardi style of football. Go out on the field, hit hard and be hit hard back. If you get shaken up, you are doing it right.

Sure this style of football worked at one point in the NFL, but we are now talking college kids, high school kids and youth players.

If you think that head and back injuries like the one Walker suffered Saturday only happen at and above the college level, you could not be further from the truth.

Donnovan Hill was 13 years old and the star running back for the Lakeland Lancers, a Pop Warner team in Mission Viejo, Calif. After a helmet-to-helmet collision while playing defense, Hill fractured his spine and became paralyzed from the neck down.

An investigation conducted by ESPN’s Outside the Lines revealed that Hill and his teammates were instructed to hit head down and head first by their head coach, who has been known to tell players to “stop being scared” and make the hit.

This injury was a direct result of a coach teaching the wrong way to hit.

These were youth athletes playing for Pop Warner, safety ought to have been the number one concern. If one coach was teaching to hit head first, you can be certain that more are at every level of competition.

Hill’s injury, and undoubtedly Walker’s in the future, has brought to the attention of many inside and outside the sport the need to protect the players.

The people who still preach this Lombardi style of football need to pull their heads out of the ass and focus on the real issue here: the safety of the players. There is no telling how long it will be before a young athlete not only suffers a serious injury but loses their life if football does not change.

Is football becoming too dangerous for athletes of all ages? Do you think new rules need to be created to ensure player safety? Email Matt and let him know what you think at mdkleist@dailycardinal.com

Badgers release offensive line coach after two games

By Matt Masterson The Daily Cardinal

After two less-than-stellar offensive performances this season, the Badgers have released offensive line coach Mike Markuson, according to Tom Mulhern of the Wisconsin State Journal.

The article cites a “difficult transition” as the cause for the move.

Offensive quality control coach Bart Miller is expected to be named as Markuson’s replacement, according to the State Journal. Miller graduated from New Mexico University in 2007 and worked as a graduate assistant at New Mexico State

last season before joining the Badgers this year.

The move comes after the Badgers managed a mere 35 yards on the ground against Oregon St. this past weekend. In two games this season, Wisconsin has averaged just 101.5 rushing yards per game, good for 106th overall in the country-far below their usual standards.

Markuson was in his first year as the Badgers’ offensive line coach after stints with Ole Miss, Arkansas and Boise State. Markuson replaced Bob Bostad, who left for Pittsburgh briefly before taking a job with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the NFL.