University of Wisconsin-Madison
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ASM legislation, hope schools follow suit By Gretchen Blohm STAFF WRITER
The University of WisconsinMadison’s student governance body, the Associated Students of Madison (ASM), passed legislation aimed to strengthen shared governance across the state of Wisconsin last week. ASM passed the legislation through the Wisconsin State Statute with the goal of providing legal grounds for academic staff, faculty and students’ involvement in the decision-making process throughout the University of Wisconsin System, creating a new statewide body intended to pass legislation and organize systemwide campaigns and efforts. UW-Madison’s own student body uses its power within the university to determine the allocation of student fees, address concerns within the university community and is the voice of the student body through communication with faculty and administration. The organization is taking its role in the community a step further by passing this legislation, with the hope that all state schools will pass the same shared governance resolution, creating a larger platform for students to amplify their voices statewide. ASM is the fourth student government to support the initiative,
which was previously approved by student governments at UW-Eau Claire, UW-River Falls and UW-Stevens Point. “We’re going to come together and design a statewide organizing group,” said UW-Stevens Point President of Student Government Association Will Scheder. “The goal of this [legislation] is to create a body for feedback, organizing and to amplify the students’ voice across the state on issues that affect all of us, such as tuition fees [and] different bills passing through the assembly.” The new student governance body would pass legislation, organize joint UW System efforts and serve as the statewide shared governance body. This would replace the current UW System Student Presidential Council, which suffers from a lack of funding and representation, according to ASM. “Presidential Council only meets twice per school year; it has no organizing or lobbying capabilities and can’t really represent students,” said ASM Legislative Affairs Committee Chair Muralidharan (MGR) Govindarajan via email. “These are the major problems with the Presidential Council and won’t be something the new Shared Gov Org will have to deal with. It’ll be led by students, representing stu-
dents, and will have the funding necessary to lobby.” At an ASM meeting in September, student leaders said that the changes in wording made to the state statute in 2015 by Gov. Scott Walker weakened their powers within the shared governance system, inhibiting their voice. Now, with this passed legislation, the hope is that students will have primary responsibility for policies that concern student life and interests. “As the director of shared governance for the old Wisconsin Student Association during the heyday of 36.09(5) in the mid-1980s, I am thrilled to see this statewide initiative to restore the collective voice of students in the governance of the UW-System,” Student Council Representative and legislation sponsor Stu Levitan said in a Oct. 28 press release from ASM. Despite the success of the legislation’s passage at some System schools, leaders like Scheder remained concerned about the future of the legislation. “I don’t think it’s enough,” said Scheder. “We don’t have authority to do anything; it’s basically just a discussion forum, which is good for some things, but for doing the work of student’s governments, it’s really not.”
“The goal of this body is to replace that with an effective student government body, basically like ASM, but on a statewide level that will direct movements across the state and not just on a single campus,” continued Scheder. In a September interview with the The Daily Cardinal, ASM Chair Adrian Lampron commented on the body’s relationship with the
that with the changing circumstances, we’ll be able to have a better relationship again.” As other UW System schools consider passing the shared governance legislation, Govindarajan assumes that the student governance bodies will gain support from the System’s administration as well as state legislators sometime during the spring semester.
COURTESY OF KATE SCHEIDT
ASM passes statewide shared governance legislation hoping UW schools follow suit. UW-Madison administration, emphasizing their frustrations. “They made a lot of decisions behind closed doors and without input from shared governance bodies,” Lampron said. “I’m hopeful
“[The] UW System [administration] are aware of the fact that campuses are joining together and demanding action,” Govindarajan said. “We’re hoping to have this off by fall of 2022.”
Student voter turnout increased in 2020 presidential election By Alison Stecker STAFF WRITER
The University of WisconsinMadison saw its student-voter turnout for the 2020 presidential election rise to 72.8%, up from 65.4% in 2016. According to the Institute for Democracy & Higher Education (IDHE), UW-Madison’s voting rate was higher than the 66% rate of all other colleges. The 2020 NSLVE Campus Report revealed that out of 33,749
COURTESY OF LEAH VOSKUIL
UW-Madison voters turned out to polls.
eligible students at UW-Madison, 24,571 voted. Although the total of eligible voters decreased by 637 people from 2016 to 2020, voter registration and the number of UW-Madison students who voted increased. “These numbers show us that there is always work to be done in the future to further improve voting involvement,” said Shreya Bandyopadhyay, a Vote Everywhere Ambassador with the Morgridge Center for Public Service. BadgersVote is a campus-wide initiative that strives to educate UW-Madison’s students about voting and election participation. The initiative is a collaboration between the Morgridge Center, Associated Students of Madison and other campus organizations to support student voting efforts. They hosted registration drives, publicity campaigns and discussion panels around election day to increase student participation. According to Bandyopadhyay, the 2020 presidential candidates played a large part in increasing student voting turnout.
“I think in terms of people getting out to vote because of who was on the ballot was very important because it was a high[ly] partisan election. People felt passionately about who they were going to vote for and whether or not they would cast their ballot,” she said in an interview with The Daily Cardinal. The 2016 election ballot was just as divided, but Bandyopadhyay credits the difference in voter turnout to the university. “All the efforts by BadgersVote were really impactful, which we saw in the turnout results. We did a lot of things that were different from normal table efforts,” Bandyopadhyay said. “We used social media, online content, podcasts, zoom events and more different tactics to get people out to vote that they hadn’t seen before.” The use of social media helped generate a larger voter turnout in the 2020 elections due to many young voters being on their phones, Bandyopadhyay added. “People are looking for new avenues to get engaged, and
something low-effort like turning on a podcast. It’s a great way to engage new voters,” Bandyopadhyay said. UW-Madison also participated in the All In Campus Democracy Challenge last year in an effort to achieve full student-voter registration. The non-partisan program aims to advance democracy by encouraging citizens to vote, contact elected officials and take part in political organization. The initiative collaborated with more than 160 colleges and universities to normalize voting participation in elections and pushed for the acceptance of democratic involvement on campus. The university competed against other Big Ten institutions in the Big Ten Voting Challenge to mobilize civic engagement. Competition brings out the best in Big Ten students, and the presidents challenged their respective schools to bring the same level of intensity to the voting booth. “One of the most important values we teach at our universities is the importance of civic engagement. Voting in elections
gives our students a voice in the democratic process and in the decisions that affect local, state and national issues,” the 14 Big Ten presidents said in a letter. The university and its counterparts aim to push their students to stay informed and involved in nonpartisan democratic engagements. The increase of voter turnout in the 2020 election signals a future where the students of Madison embrace their roles as active citizens on campus and in society as a whole. Bandyopadhyay hopes to see even more voter turnout by the midterm elections. “I feel like kids are really excited about voting after they do it once. Everything is hard the first time, but students will feel that the second time will be easier,” Bandyopadhyay concluded. “All the campus efforts are more established, like institutionalizing the vote team. Now that the BadgersVote coalition existed another year, it’s another year of credibility and experience that will help students find trust in our institution.”
“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”
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An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892 Volume 131, Issue 11
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News and Editorial editor@dailycardinal.com Editor-in-Chief Addison Lathers
Managing Editor Grace Hodgman
News Team Campus Editor Ellie Nowakoski College Editor Sophia Vento City Editor Jackson Mozena State Editor Annabella Rosciglione Associate News Editor Samantha Henschel Features Editor Gina Musso
Opinion Editors Ian-Michael Griffin • Em-J Krigsman Arts Editors Rebecca Perla • Seamus Rohrer Sports Editors Lara Klein • Christian Voskuil Almanac Editors Gillian Rawling • Nick Rawling Photo Editor Irena Clarkowski Graphics Editors Jessica Levy • Zoe Bendoff Science Editors Joyce Riphagen • Emily Rohloff Life & Style Editor Samantha Benish Copy Chief Olivia Everett Copy Editor Tess Vasilakos Social Media Manager Clare McManamon Podcast Director Hope Karnopp
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The Daily Cardinal is a nonprofit organization run by its staff members and elected editors. It receives no funds from the university. Operating revenue is generated from advertising and subscription sales. The Daily Cardinal is published weekdays and distributed at the University of WisconsinMadison and its surrounding community with a circulation of 10,000. Capital Newspapers, Inc. is the Cardinal’s printer. The Daily Cardinal is printed on recycled paper. The Cardinal is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press and the Wisconsin Newspaper Association. All copy, photographs and graphics appearing in The Daily Cardinal are the sole property of the Cardinal and may not be reproduced without written permission of the editor in chief. The Daily Cardinal accepts advertising representing a wide range of views. This acceptance does not imply agreement with the views expressed. The Cardinal reserves the right to reject advertisements judged offensive based on imagery, wording or both. Complaints: News and editorial complaints should be presented to the editor in chief. Business and advertising complaints should be presented to the business manager. Letters Policy: Letters must be word processed and must include contact information. No anonymous letters will be printed. All letters to the editor will be printed at the discretion of The Daily Cardinal. Letters may be sent to opinion@ dailycardinal.com.
Editorial Board Ian-Michael Griffin • Grace Hodgman • Em-J Krigsman • Addison Lathers • Anupras Mohapatra • Riley Sumner
Board of Directors Scott Girard, President Barry Adams • Herman Baumann • Don Miner • Nancy Sandy • Barry Adams • Phil Hands • Josh Klemons • Barbara Arnold • Jennifer Sereno
© 2021, The Daily Cardinal Media Corporation ISSN 0011-5398
For the record Corrections or clarifications? Call The Daily Cardinal office at 608-262-8000 or send an email to editor@dailycardinal.com.
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Geraldine’s Pick: Lady behind the concept By Molly Schiff STAFF WRITER
For as long as I have been at this university, I have gotten a weekly email from the University Bookstore about something called “Geraldine’s Pick.” While the majority of these emails have gone over my head, I could not help but be intrigued by the consistency. I began to ask myself, “What is Geraldine’s Pick?” and “Who even is Geraldine?” So, naturally, I decided to start reading the emails. Each week, Geraldine provides her pick, which is usually an item sold in the bookstore. Geraldine’s pick is something that has been going on for years, so I was inherently curious as to how she continuously comes up with an item to pick each week. Geraldine is someone that most of you have probably seen upon purchasing something from the bookstore. But she isn’t your run-of-the-mill bookstore employee — Geraldine has been at the University Bookstore since 1987. The legendary staff member originally got involved at the bookstore by working with somebody that was scheduling people for book rush, which is how she refers to the time at the beginning of the year when every student on campus needs to buy their textbooks. This job was only supposed to take up a very temporary, small block of time. Somehow that small block of time turned into 35 years, with this January marking the 35th year for Geraldine. Her main role at the bookstore has evolved into cashier, but she is eager to work wherever she is needed. This has ranged from working the cashier’s office, running over to the warehouse and even in shipping and receiving. “As long as I’m busy, I’m fine,” she remarked. The beginning of the year is Geraldine’s favorite time of the school year to this day. She enjoys meeting people, and during this time, she gets to meet
an abundance of students, alumni and community members. Recently, guests who have visited Geraldine at the UW Bookstore have received buttons with a picture of the renowned employee on them.
“As long as I’m busy, I’m fine. ”
Geraldine The woman, the myth, the legend
Though that’s not to say that Geraldine’s always known that she wanted to work in a college bookstore. Throughout my interview with Geraldine, a very common theme that cropped up is how vastly different this lifestyle is from the one she grew up living. Geraldine grew up in Ireland, and originally had a career as a nurse. Eventually, she became a midwife. However, despite the differences and vast distance between Ireland and Wisconsin, the world remains quite small. She mentioned how she met one customer who has an uncle in Ireland. As it so happens, she knew the uncle. Not only is Geraldine from Ireland, but she has lived in Massachusetts and California. As a result of this, there’s always someone among the people she meets on a day-to-day basis that recognizes her. So, how does she decide on her pick each week? How does she decide which red hat, backto-school necessity or gameday shirt gets featured? Upon being asked, she said the following: “I decide with the buyer what there is [enough] available of,” Geraldine said. “I have people that come from all over the country who see it over the app, so there needs to be a big order of
MEGAN NORTON COURTESY OF UW BOOKSTORE
The lady behind the emails that you get every single week, Geraldine, pictured. the item. I need to make sure there is enough stuff.” In her free time, Geraldine loves to cook, bake and go on walks. Out of all these activities, walking is her favorite. On these walks, she is usually by herself. But that decision is by choice. “I recite poetry, I sing to myself, I go to places there’s no one around so I can do whatever I want,” she explained. Geraldine said that, on average, she talks to a couple hundred people a day — especially on football Saturdays and parents’ weekends. While she cherishes the conversations she has with each and every person on campus, it’s her connection to the students that she holds most near and dear to her.
“I love dealing with the kids on campus, and some of them I have befriended so that we recognize each other and chit chat,” she said with a smile. “I call them the little darlings on campus.”
“I love dealing with kids on campus, and some of them I have befriended...I call them the little darlings on campus. ”
Geraldine The woman, the myth, the legend
$115 million legislative package to reduce crime By Ian Wilder STAFF WRITER
Attorney General Josh Kaul announced a $115 million dollar legislative package as part of plans for the Safer Wisconsin project on Monday. The legislative package will be funded by the state surplus, and will aim to reduce crime as well as support stronger communities. “Across the country, we have seen a spike in shootings, in homicides and in substance use disorder cases resulting in overdose deaths. And we are here today to call on the legislature to take action to address those issues and to help work to make our communities safer,” said Kaul. In a press release, Kaul outlined the four major points the legislative package will focus on: strengthening community trust and preventing crime, keeping guns out of the hands of those who have proven to be dangerous, addressing substance use disorder
and mental health crises and holding offenders accountable. The largest investment in the
COURTESY OF EMILY HAMER- WISCONSIN CENTER FOR INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM
See Attorney General Josh Kaul above. package is towards communitybased crime prevention, with a proposed $20 million dollars directed towards community policing. Both victim support services and re-entry programs following incarceration will receive $10 million dollars
each. Notably, the package also includes $25 million dollars in support of mental health and substance abuse initiatives. The package has support of Sen. Melissa Agard (D-Madison), who said in a statement Monday that “everyone deserves to feel safe in their communities. I applaud Attorney General Kaul for his efforts to promote pragmatic and proven steps the legislature can take to make our communities safer.” Wisconsin Republicans were quick to respond, with Fond du Lac District Attorney Eric Toney, who will be running against Attorney General Kaul next year, calling the package “a recycled, liberal wish list of ideas which shows he isn’t serious about addressing the violent crime epidemic.” The package also includes universal background check and red flag proposals, which will also likely draw opposition from the Republican party, who have opposed similar
Called the package “a recycled, liberal wish list of ideas which shows he isn’t serious about addressing the violent crime epidemic”
Eric Toney Fond du Lac District Attorney
legislation in the past. Both the city and county of Milwaukee set new year-long records in 2020 for homicides, nonfatal shootings, motor vehicle deaths and overdoses. Both parties acknowledge the importance of addressing crime for their constituents, and as the Safer Wisconsin package enters debate in the Assembly and Senate, Republicans will likely answer with their own package by the end of the year.
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Campus voter district preserved, new redistricted map By Charlie Hildebrand STAFF WRITER
The Madison city council unanimously voted to adopt a new map updating Madison’s alder districts and wards this Tuesday. The new map is expected to rebalance the city’s population after a decade of growth. The Ad Hoc Redistricting Committee recommended the new map to redistribute the city’s aldermanic districts to account for Madison’s asymmetrically expanding population. Since Madison’s last redistricting in 2011, the city experienced significant growth in the downtown area, including the University of Wisconsin-Madison campus, as well as on the western and eastern edges of the city. Previous redistricting plans presented to the council would have altered the 8th aldermanic district, which encompasses much of the student population, to exclude neighborhoods historically associated with UW-Madison, including some areas of the lakeshore dorms. The new map preserves the borders of the district eight, including the areas which previous plans had proposed to be incorporated into other districts. If Madison’s population were divided equally among the 20 of aldermanic districts, each district would have 13,497 residents. The redistricting committee has set a 5% margin, allowing each district to range from 12,822 to 14,172 residents, according to the Wisconsin State Journal. During the construction of the new map, the redistricting committee took into account state and federal criteria centering on issues of social justice, according to a press release by the Ad Hoc committee. Some of the stated goals listed by the press release include: • Having equal population • Enhancing the participation of communities of color and communities that primarily use a language other than English Accounting for communities of interest such as: • Neighborhoods and neighborhood associations • Elementary school and attendance areas • College students • Housing tenure/transience • Income distribution
The new map includes four districts consisting of a 35-40% population of color as well as two districts with a population of minority groups greater than 40%. The previous map only had two districts where people of color made up more than 35% of the population. All city council members’ current place of residence will remain in their districts following the redrawing with the exception of Dis. 8 Ald. Juliana Bennett. Typically, alders are required to reside within the district they represent, however, in this particular circumstance, Bennett has been granted special permission to continue acting as the District 8 alder. The Common Council voted to approve several amendments during Tuesday’s meetings, including making alterations to the alder districts and wards as well as minor technical adjustments. Some of these alterations include shifting an area of Monroe Street from District 13 back to District 5 and a change of polling location in ward 43. Several alders, including Ald. Myadze (Dis. 18), objected to these changes, believing that they undermined the redistricting committee’s efforts to construct a fair aldermanic map. “We gave a chance for the public to engage. With the short time that we had, I am staying consistent with my vote. No matter what we are doing tonight, we definitely have to have community engagement, which we did. We cannot do things on the fly,” Myadze said. Mayor Satya Rhodes-Conway, who participated in the 2011 redistricting process as an alder, has stated that she believes the amendments modifying the aldermanic districts are not irregular in the construction of a new districting map. “Ultimately, it is the council’s responsibility to adopt these items,” Rhodes-Conway said. “It is not at all unprecedented to have a robust discussion and amendments at the council level.” Until the next spring 2023 election, alders will continue to represent their newly redrawn districts. As a result of the redistricting, three council members may compete with each other in the spring 2023 election. Ald. Sheri Carter (Dis. 14) and Ald. Christian Albouras (Dis 20) are moving into District 10 which is represented by Ald. Yannette Figueroa Cole. The new wards and alder districts will go into effect on Jan. 1, 2022.
UW-Madison to gain revenue from real estate development By Sam Tuch STAFF WRITER
Since 2013, the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s pace of revenue growth has underperformed, compared to peer schools. With state politics resulting in increasingly smaller shares of the university’s budget coming from the state, the university is looking to alternative revenue streams to make up for lost cash. Over the years, UW has pursued a number of revenue-generating strategies in an attempt to make up for the deficit. Previous actions included increasing tuition for out-of-state students and those enrolled in professional programs, in addition to growing summer term offerings, expanding the undergraduate student body and adding professional master’s degree programs. Chancellor Rebecca Blank described these strategies as “low-hanging fruit.” Even after implementing all of these strategies, the university still needed new revenue streams to con-
tribute to a successful long-term financial strategy, and that’s where real estate development comes in. The Wisconsin State Journal reported that UW-Madison is actively exploring a real estate development strategy across campus as a means to grow the university’s endowment. Earlier this month, the Board of Regents approved a general agreement allowing the university to sell its land to University Research Park, which would ultimately lease the land to real estate developers for private projects. The agreement sets out that revenue from rent would flow into an endowment, which would partially fund UW-Madison’s annual operations. The sale of each parcel would require approval from the Board of Regents, and university officials emphasized the strategy would be carefully managed, with projects being vetted by the school and University Research Park employees. “We have a valuable partner in
University Research Park, with a track record of working with the university, private developers and businesses for over 30 years to transform former UW-Madison agricultural lands into a thriving innovation district west of campus,” said Rob Cramer, interim chief financial officer. “The real success of this will be judged in 20 or 30 years.” The university is reportedly planning to bring a few initial ideas to the Board of Regents in December for approval. Of these proposals, one reportedly includes development of the land on which the Humanities Building sits following its demolition over the coming decade. Cramer reported that this was “on the bigger end of the spectrum of possibilities.” University investment in real estate as a means of increasing endowment is not a new idea. UW-Madison based its real estate development strategy off of that of the University of British Columbia
COURTESY OF IRENA CLARKOWSKI
There is a possibility that the Humanities building will be torn down for real estate. in Canada (UBC). As reported by the Vancouver Sun, UBC began selling excess land for residential development in the form of 99-year leases in the 1980s under the leadership of developer Robert Lee. Thirty years later, the investment has generated $1.6 billion CAD for the school’s endowment. University of British Columbia President, Santa Ono, noted, “[Lee’s development has] created a stable, autonomous
and unprecedented source of funding for the university that forever changed UBC.” Proponents are hopeful that UW-Madison’s development strategy will yield similar long-term successes such as those of UBC. However, according to UW-Madison geography Professor and Planner Kris Olds, “each institution’s real estate market is unique and will yield very different levels of return.”
Wisconsin DHS rollout COVID-19 vaccines for children By Samantha Henschel ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR
The Wisconsin Department of Health Services announced on Wednesday that the state will begin offering COVID-19 vaccines to children ages 5 to 11, following the Centers for Disease Control’s confirmation that the Pfizer vaccine is safe and effective for the age group. The CDC unanimously decided to offer the Pfizer vaccine to children ages 5 to 11 on Tuesday. “Our nation’s leading medical experts have reviewed the available data and confirmed that the Pfizer vaccine is safe for children 5 to 11 years of age,” said DHS Secretary-designee Karen Timberlake in a press release. “We will soon begin vaccinating more of Wisconsin’s children to protect them from the long-term symptoms of COVID-19 and reduce disruptions in and out of the classroom. We are urging parents and guardians to get their children vaccinated as soon as
they can to ed intensive protect them care, and and those four people around them.” in the 10-19 According age group to the DHS’s have died. COVID-19 Clinics dashboard, a c r o s s children under Wi s c o n s i n 18 represent have already the highest made plans number of new to offer the cases comvaccine to pared to other children. age groups. According This number to NBC 15, COURTESY OF JEFF MILLER spiked in the both UW Wisconsin Department of Health Services begins rollout of vaccines for children 5-11. week of Sept. Health and 12 with 5,598 new cases — the highest 126,686 cumulative cases since April SSM Health received shipments of number of new cases for this age group 2020 — the only age group with more the Pfizer vaccine the same day that since the beginning of the pandemic. cumulative cases than those under 18. the CDC approved its use for children They also represent the secondSince April 2020, 599 children under 18. While some pediatric care highest number of cumulative cases ages 9 and under and 1,079 of those facilities have already received doses, in Wisconsin since April of 2020, with aged 10 to 19 have been hospital- the CDC announced that they would a total of 122,910 cumulative cases. ized due to COVID-19. 49 people begin executing full-scale vaccination The 25 to 34 age group had a total of from these age groups have need- efforts the week of Nov. 8.
As of Oct. 28, SSM Health already had plans in place to provide adults with COVID-19 booster shots and children with their initial vaccinations in local school districts in Dane and Sauk counties. Public Health Madison & Dane County indicated that they were preparing the Alliant Energy Arena to provide vaccinations to children in a tweet. The Alliant Energy Center, which stopped distributing vaccines in June, reopened on Oct. 12 to provide booster shots to adults, with initial plans stating that about 220 vaccinations could be given per day, with the capacity to provide up to 1,000 if necessary. PHMDC anticipates beginning its efforts early next week. According to the CDC, vaccinations were about 91% effective in preventing COVID-19 in children ages 5 to 11. The department stated that side effects were mild, the most common one being a sore arm.
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Thursday, November 4, 2021
Wisconsin controls own destiny in Big 10 West after convincing upset of #9 By Justin Alpert SPORTS WRITER
Wisconsin defeated ninthranked Iowa 27-7 on Saturday, improving to 5-3 on the season and extending its winning streak to four games. The Badger defense turned in yet another dominant performance, holding the Hawkeyes to 156 yards of offense, all but 17 of which came in the second half after Wisconsin had built a sizable lead. The unit entered the week having allowed the fewest yards per game (223) in the Big 10 and it feasted against a lowly Iowa offense. Wisconsin opened the scoring with 3:08 remaining in the first quarter, capping off an eight-play drive with a fouryard Jake Ferguson touchdown. The tight end was wide open in the back of the end zone after a play-action fake, but a late throw from quarterback Graham Mertz forced Ferguson to adjust and make a toe-tapping grab. On the drive, Mertz completed five passes to five different receivers, an impressive sequence for the much-maligned quarterback. Leading 10-0 in the second quarter, the Badgers failed to score after recovering a fumble at Iowa’s eight-yard line, as fullback John Chenal couldn’t reach the goal line on a fourth down run from the one. Another Iowa fumble put Wisconsin back in the same spot, though, and Mertz made it 17-0 on a quarterback sneak. The next Wisconsin possession ended in a punt, but Iowa coughed up yet another fumble on the return and put the Badgers in posi-
tion for a field goal. The Badgers led 20-0 at halftime, although the game was closer than it should have been. Iowa didn’t pick up a first down until its final possession of the second quarter, and Wisconsin had 192 total yards to Iowa’s 17. Along with the three takeaways, Wisconsin’s defense had also sacked quarterback Spencer Petras four times. Iowa got on the board with a Petras sneak with 8:21 remaining in the third quarter, then got the ball back with all the momentum after a Wisconsin three-and-out. The Hawkeyes went for it on 4th and 1 at Wisconsin’s 40, but a defensive stand and a questionable spot gave the Badgers the ball and halted Iowa’s comeback efforts. Mertz scored on another QB sneak early in the fourth quarter to extend the lead to 27-7 and essentially secure the victory. The Hawkeyes entered the matchup with the Big 10’s 13thranked offense, having managed only 310.9 yards per game, and they looked completely hapless against Wisconsin’s physical and hyper-aggressive defense. Wisconsin’s defense was led by the usual suspects Saturday. Linebackers Leo Chenal and Jack Sanborn recorded nine and seven total tackles, respectively, and each accounted for half a sack. Linebacker Nick Herbig had 2.5 sacks along with six total tackles. Offensively, the Badgers looked impressively balanced early but reverted to their typical, run-heavy approach once Mertz’s initial success faded. The sophomore quarterback started 7-for-8 for 68 yards and a
DAVID STLUKA/WISCONSIN ATHLETICS
The team lifts the Heartland Trophy, a brass bull presented to the winners of the rivalry game since 2004. touchdown but ultimately completed 11 of 22 for 104 yards. He found success on quick, low-risk throws to wide receiver Danny Davis, who tallied five catches for 59 yards. As the afternoon progressed, though, Mertz grew increasingly erratic. Running back Braelon Allen was excellent once again, totaling 104 yards on 20 carries for his fourth consecutive 100-plus yard performance. His development into Wisconsin’s best running back has coincided with the team’s turnaround after starting 1-3, and it seems he does something special every time he touches the ball. The 6’2”, 238-pound freshman has displayed patience and agility rarely associated with such a big ball carrier while also using
his size and physicality to fight for extra yards. It was a quiet showing for running back Chez Mellusi, who totaled only 48 yards on 19 attempts. He leads the team by a wide margin with his 158 carries this season, but opportunities figure to be more scarce going forward as long as Allen remains healthy and productive. The Badgers suffered a couple notable injuries in the victory. Sanborn dislocated a finger in the third quarter, but he returned to the field later on and should be fine next week. Backup tight end Clay Cundiff suffered a seriouslooking right leg injury and was removed from the field by ambulance. He figures to miss considerable time. This felt like a lost season
after Wisconsin started 1-3. Now, though, the Badgers will win the Big 10 West if they beat Rutgers, Northwestern, Nebraska and Minnesota. It’s been evident all year that Wisconsin’s defense can carry the team. Mertz and the offense don’t need to be great, they just need to be competent and avoid turnovers to give the Badgers a great chance of winning each week. Wisconsin has been unranked since losing to Notre Dame, but they’ve absolutely played like a top-25 team during the win streak and should find themselves in Tuesday’s College Football Playoff rankings after Saturday’s upset of Iowa. Next Saturday the Badgers head to Rutgers to face the 4-4 Scarlet Knights.
Badgers fall to Boilermakers in challenging four sets By Taylor Smith SPORTS WRITER
The No. 4 Wisconsin Badgers women’s volleyball team has fallen to a Big Ten team for the second time this season, making them now 18-2 and 10-2 in conference play. The Badgers
lost in four sets to the now No. 8, Purdue Boilermakers, 25-20, 25-22, 20-25, 28-26, ending their nine-match winning streak. The Boilermakers wasted no time in getting started on the Badgers. They began the first set with numerous kills from
senior Grace Cleveland, eventually causing them to lead the Badgers 18-6. Wisconsin was eventually able to go on a seven point streak, closing the gap to 21-16, however they were not able to finish out the set, which they lost 25-20.
TAYLOR WOLFRAM/DAILY CARDINAL
Outside hitter Jade Demps celebrates a kill with teammates against the Golden Gophers in a rivalry match.
The second set was more evenly matched with the Badgers offense coming alive. Fifth-year senior Grace Loberg and sophomore Jade Demps dominated the front row, both with four kills in the second set. Despite looking more put together, the Badgers dropped the set against the Boilermakers, heading into the third set down 2-0. The Badgers started off the third set down 8-2, but climbed back to tie the game 11-11. Kills from Demps and fellow sophomore Devyn Robinson fueled the Badgers, allowing them to take the third set, forcing a fourth set. Wisconsin did not allow Purdue to lead by more than three points in the fourth set, but nonetheless, they dropped the fourth set in extra points. Purdue’s offense and strong blocks stopped the Badgers in their tracks. The Badgers failed to record a service ace for the first time this season, but they kept the service errors to only four. “We did a poor job of a lot of different things,” head coach Kelly Sheffield confessed. “I didn’t think we were putting any
service pressure out of the gate.” Sheffield also pointed to the team’s poor communication as a contributing factor to their loss. Despite the loss, Demps came to play against Purdue. The pin hitter had one of the strongest matches of her career, after not having played against Nebraska the previous week. Coach Sheffield commented on Demps’s positive impact on the match in the post-match press conference. Demps hit .303 (13-3-33) and recorded a career-high four blocks. Demps followed Grace Loberg in kills, who led the team with 15. Libero and fifth-year senior Lauren Barnes controlled the back row, recording a careerhigh 33 digs. Barnes surpassed 300 digs for the season, which is higher than both the digs she recorded in both the 2019 and 2020-21 season. The Badgers have the chance to bounce back this weekend with two away matches. On Friday, the Badgers will play Northwestern Wildcats in Evanston at 7 p.m. They then travel to Iowa City to play the Iowa Hawkeyes on Saturday night at 7 p.m.
opinion An evaluation of the departing Becky Blank dailycardinal.com
By Madison Targum STAFF WRITER
All around the University of Wisconsin-Madison, the leaves are highlighting a change in the seasons as students bundle up for the dropping temperatures and gradually adapt to their fall schedules. Especially with the return of in-person classes, students flooding throughout campus during passing periods, and game days featuring droves of fans in the streets eager to get to Camp Randall by “Jump Around,” we, as students, are finally given the opportunity to settle into a routine. However, what do we do when the face of our university announces she is changing her colors? It was released earlier this month that Chancellor Rebecca Blank would be departing from UW-Madison at the end of the school year to assume the position as Northwestern’s first female president. To many, Blank is recognized for her innovative steps in enhancing the student experience at UW. By cutting the graduation gaps between white students and students of color, enabling more in-state students to attend with zero tuition under Bucky’s Tuition Promise and encouraging an environment of high vaccination rates - there is no denying that Blank has a quintessential role in our identity as a university nationwide. Yet, as a current UW-Madison sophomore, I feel like I never
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really got to know the chancellor, or her initiatives, beyond her pandemic mandates. Deliberate weekly COVID-19 updates on Instagram or vlog-style announcements in full red attire were the only way we could get a sense of the chancellor’s role in our individual experiences. Although it is unrealistic to expect the face of a population of 47,936 to have distinct connections with all students, it feels that the class of 2024 is the forgotten class. A cohort that is bonded by resilience in adapting to such a large environment under the scope of a pandemic, the university is on a train propelled forward without acknowledging the lack of guidance that we had last year as freshmen. So where was our convocation? Where was our welcome back? In many ways we are a symbol of inconsistent COVID-19 policies, dorm lockdowns, high spikes in positive tests and the disturbing concept of spitting into a tube in a room full of strangers — the middle child of the badger family if you will. As a student residing in Witte residence hall my freshman year, I experienced the Witte and Sellery lockdowns first hand. These dorm closures undeniably highlighted the lack of communication between students and Blank’s administration. Emails came abruptly two hours before lockdown started, giving students no time to grocery shop or mentally comprehend the chaos that would
ensue. I still have distinct memories of abandoned Witte hallways and the rush of students looking for apartments due to fears of permanent dorm closures. Essentially, the chancellor’s poor correspondence with many of the initial COVID-19 policies and subsequent memes of Blank as the university watchdog on
gogue on their first day of school. In attending Hillel services on Monday, Sept. 6 — the first night of Rosh Hashanah — an appearance by the chancellor was far from expected. Standing as my first and only in-person citing of the chancellor, Blank made a short apology to the service of, at most, 20 students, feeling more
Badger Barstool have limited my lens on the real policies that the chancellor has tended to. In furthering my distaste, I was extremely disappointed with the miscommunication on scheduling the first day of classes during the Jewish high holiday of Rosh Hashanah. Although students were informed of this scheduling conflict in the spring of last year, I and many of my fellow Jewish peers were torn between attending classes or attending syna-
like a disconnected address than an interaction. Blank’s tone was formal but quick. She was probably in the room for five minutes. For those who did not attend, they would probably never know that Chancellor Blank had made an effort to meet with Jewish students at Hillel that night. Nevertheless, her appearance was not a genuine meeting — more like a box to be checked off on her to-do list.
PHOTO COURTESY OF BECKY BLANK TWITTER
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I acknowledge that it is difficult to decipher what part of a chancellor’s administration makes these kinds of decisions and how easy it is to point fingers at the face of it all. For the next chancellor, I do not know if individual accomplishments will matter as much as adding on to the policy legacy that Blank has left. However, I do think the future chancellor needs to make more of an effort to communicate with students, explaining both their role and policy processes. They should be more involved in understanding student life on campus and making up for the time lost due to COVID. I admit that I was taken back to see Becky Blank engulfed in a new colored pantsuit, head to toe in deep purple on Northwestern’s Instagram. But in reflecting upon my experience, I am indifferent to her leaving because I knew Blank strictly through a digital lens under the backdrop of a pandemic. To the new face of the university — I implore you to make more of an outreach to students.
Madison Targum is a sophomore studying journalism with a certificate in digital studies. Do you think Chancellor Blank suffered from communication issues during the pandemic? Do you agree that current sophomores are the forgotten class? Send all comments to opinion@dailycardinal.com.
Does UW-Madison need a school wide vaccine Mandate? By Abdullah Marei STAFF WRITER
As college students, we don’t want to miss out on the irreplaceable experience of being on campus. We want to attend class, not only to hear them lecture but to form actual human interactions with them. We wish to communicate with our classmates and we most definitely want to party! However, with the rise of COVID19, once ordinary realities transformed into wishful thinking — a distant memory. Due to this unexpected divergence, California became the first US state to mandate the COVID-19 vaccine for residents. “We want to end this pandemic. We are all exhausted by it,” said California Gov. Gavin Newsom. As soon as January 2022 begins, eligible K-12 students in California will be required to receive the COVID-19 vaccine. Currently, only 16-year-old students are required to get the vaccine, after approval was handed down from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Eventually, the FDA will approve the vaccination mandate for 12 to 15 year olds. Unsurprisingly, this hasn’t come without backlash. The Sacramento Bee reported that hundreds of parents and families have taken to the streets of California to protest the school mandate, including mother of three Lindsay Bingham. According to Bingham, the vaccine mandate is “overreaching and crushing our parental
rights and encroaching on the rights of educators.” Such an overwhelming response reflects back on the legitimacy of this mandate. Is a vaccine mandate necessary in K-12 and higher education? To answer this question, we need to evaluate the effects of COVID-19 in the U.S. and on Wisconsin. Currently, COVID19 not only causes economic disparities but simultaneously widens the racial gap between races in America through disproportionately targeting specific races and classes. In Wisconsin, about 75% of employees have mentioned that COVID-19 has negatively impacted their businesses. This is an overwhelming number of individuals who are having their lives drastically affected by this relentless pandemic. In the New York Times, Max Fisher and Emma Bubola delineate the “mutually reinforcing cycle” between social inequality and the spread of COVID-19 — a cycle wherein each component influences and exacerbates the spread of the other. The article exemplifies the interconnectivity of both elements and highlights how social conditions can have implications on health. Specifically, one social aspect that ties into this article is socioeconomic status (SES). People with higher SES acquire increased accessibility to health-improving resources as well as enhanced decision making due to the avail-
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ability of information on health risks. These factors shape the SES gradient in health which causes people at lower SES to have worse overall health. To exemplify, when an SES gradient is present, people with low income, on average, report higher cases of health problems, such as heart diseases and diabetes. Not only that, but this disparity in health seems to exist within societies with national access to healthcare, proving that this inequity doesn’t simply stem from inaccessibility to healthcare but from other sources. Whether these are discriminatory mechanisms or material deprivations at play, the SES gradient makes it so that people with lower incomes are more likely to contract diseases. One factor to consider is that people with low income do not have the resources or the privilege to stay at home, as their sur-
vival depends on their daily jobs. This increases their exposure to the virus and puts them at higher risk. People with high SES also have more paid sick time at work while those with low SES do not have the luxury. This results in people with low income having to make monetary sacrifices, or lose money, due to not having paid sick leaves. Overall, this has caused those people to be 10% more likely to contract COVID-19. It is clear that, if left to continue ravaging the country, the COVID-19 pandemic will continue to exaggerate these economic and racial disparities. On school campuses, students that aren’t vaccinated are at a higher risk of getting sick and infecting others, risking their jobs and inevitably prolonging the pandemic. In relating back to the California vaccine mandate, enforcing a similar mandate on college campuses can be a solution
to close these gaps. Mandating a vaccine in school campuses will not only reduce such disparities but also grant students the authentic college experience that they deserve. Despite the obvious benefits of the vaccine, it is important to highlight the concept of free will in this debate. As people, we have the liberty to make our own decisions. People have the right to choose whether they want to be vaccinated or not. Is mandating a vaccine infringing on people’s rights, or is it necessary for the world’s greater good? As society continues to descend into ongoing instability, the latter becomes more and more true.
Abdullah Marei is a junior studying psychology. Do you agree that a vaccine mandate is a needed step in schools? Send all comments to Opinion@dailycardinal.com.
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By Seamus Rohrer ARTS EDITOR
University of WisconsinMadison seniors Deryk G and Godly the Ruler held a concert at Rathskeller for a small but intimate crowd on the Friday before Halloween. Despite the stark contrast between Deryk G’s softer indie and Godly’s bombastic rap, the festive audience soaked up every second. The show got going well after it’s alleged 9 p.m. start time, and the tight-knit crowd was beyond ready by the time Deryk G finally took the stage. This is a classic performance tactic, where the artist lets the audience stew in their own anticipation. Whether or not Deryk did this intentionally is debatable, but it’s also besides the point, as it produced the same effect — a euphoric, energetic crowd. With much of the crowd in costume and all of the crowd excited about Halloweekend, Deryk G knew he would have to match that energy. And match it he did, coming on stage dressed as David Byrne from the Talking Heads movie “Stop Making Sense” and leading with a cover of “Psycho Killer.” As far as performance tactics go, this was a great one. It got the audience dancing and fired up early. Deryk G’s music is deceptively intricate. Initially, it seems like your average indie rock and not much else. But if you listen closer, his songs are very musically layered and much more sonically dense than a typical lo-fi indie rocker.
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With six musicians on stage, Deryk was able to capture this quality with extra instruments like synths and saxophones. Towards the end of his setlist, Deryk G pulled out his last Halloween surprise, changing into a Freddie Mercury outfit and playing “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen. “I wanted to be my
Deryk clearly tried to take on the persona of each singer with his performance. Deryk G closed his set with “Damien,” his catchiest and most recent song. He said it was one of his personal favorites and the ensuing performance backed that up. The whole band oozed musical joy while playing the song, and I’ve still got the
walking contradiction from his music. Talking to him offstage, he’s incredibly humble and soft-spoken. Nothing about his demeanor suggests that he makes the loud, aggressive music he is known for. But when Godly gets on stage, he completely transforms. His contemporary rap takes inspiration from many
IRENA CLARKOWSKI/THE DAILY CARDINAL
Godly the Ruler, left, and Deryk G, right. Both people decided to bring their own energy and personality. musical idols for Halloween,” Deryk explained. Covering those two songs was another good choice by Deryk. As much as the audience enjoyed his originals, he’s still an underground act and the audience doesn’t know all of his songs by heart. “Psycho Killer” and “Another One Bites the Dust” boosted the crowd’s energy. They were also very solid covers, more so because
infectious chorus in my head. Godly the Ruler came on next after a short intermission, donning a black suit and a ski-mask. While Godly set up his stage, he blasted a song by the rapper JPEGMAFIA. With his unapologetic flow and use of heavy, dissonant sounds, Godly sounds a bit like JPEGMAFIA himself. Part of what makes Godly so entertaining is that he’s a
places, but most notably drill and experimental trap. Songs like “Off with Your Head” are great bass-heavy party-starters that got even the Rathskeller crowd of no more than 60 people to mosh. Both Deryk and Godly constantly encouraged the audience to sing along, dance more and mosh harder. Both performers fed off their respective audiences and you could tell it
was affecting their moods. At one point, when people weren’t moving around enough, Godly said “if you’re standing with your arms crossed, you look like the feds.” Without a live band to perform with him, Godly couldn’t rely on the collective musical energy that comes from having bandmates on stage like Deryk could. Godly had to bring his own excitement, a feat he was able to pull off. For some songs, he taught the audience the hook beforehand so they could shout along with him. He encouraged the audience to mosh whenever applicable, and I was legitimately surprised by how actively people were moshing, seemingly forgetting they were in the restaurant of a student union. The show came to a somewhat abrupt end when a Rathskeller staff member informed Godly that he only had time for one more song. Godly’s visible disappointment underscored how lively and enjoyable twwwhe night had been. I will admit, I was skeptical of the kind of musical environment Memorial Union and two college seniors could create, but I was dead wrong. There was so much joy in the performance, from the artists themselves to the audience eager to watch their peers put their talent on display. Rathskeller is a perfect venue for a local artist to perform for a small but devoted crowd. Grade: B+
Indie dream pop band TV Girl just wants you to vibe By Emily Knepple SENIOR STAFF WRITER
TV Girl dazzled Milwaukee with back-to-back sold-out shows at the Colectivo Coffee on Oct. 23 and 24th and they took to twitter to set the scene. TV girl is a Los Angeles based indie-dream-pop band composed of Brad Petering, Jason Wyman and Wyatt Harmon. Their debut album French Exit dropped in 2014 and has since gathered quite a cult-like following. With ballads like “Lover’s Rock” and “Birds Don’t Cry,” the album is curated to sustain a certain impact. Currently, the band has over 4 million followers on Spotify and their music has been streamed on TikTok more than 100,000 times. Bands like TV Girl illustrate the seismic shift in the music industry. Music that’s been out for awhile can be more popular now than it was a decade ago due to the oh, so lovely age of streaming. Petering, the lead singer, mentioned on stage that TikTok has inadvertently brought French Exit and the band back to its glory days. There are a ton of things out there on this sort of idea already and I could talk about it for ages, but here’s a sufficient summarizer to get you started. But enough about TikTok! This is supposed to be a review of TV Girl’s all-star band’s second sold-out show in Milwaukee two weekends ago. This tour — quite literally titled the “6 & ½ YEAR ANNIVERSARY TOUR” — showcased French Exit in its entirety, a unique and engaging choice that I wish more artists would explore. Just the other day, my roommate Zoe had joked that she wished One Direction would do the same.
Set up in the back room of a Colectivo on Prospect Avenue, intimacy was unavoidable. No matter where you were, you felt like TV Girl was singing in your living room. Of course, not every artist could play a show at a coffee shop, only certain melodies can do so well in a place meant for occasional brooding and epic coming of age conversations. TV Girl fit the bill, though, as did their opener Jordana, a 19-year-old singer-songwriter from New York City. Jordana and TV Girl just released an EP together and the camaraderie between her and the band was evident, both sets were playful and engaging. You left the venue wanting to be someone, anyone’s friend. Petering did most of the talking as he pleaded the audience not to smoke cigarettes because they’re bad for you, but vapes are okay. He praised his band-mates and the city of Milwaukee. He compared love to a river and never missed a chance for a random dad joke. Petering has a contagious quirk to him that made the whole thing a lot less serious and way more inviting. I would love to sit down and talk to him about anything; he doesn’t carry around a pretentious aura that many male lead-singers of indie bands do. (Damn Emily, tell us how you really feel!) Maybe it’s because I was with my closest friends, or maybe it’s because I got to enjoy the show with enough space to move around and breathe, but either way, the TV Girl show this past Sunday was euphoric. For the entire set, there was not a single ounce of stress felt, just the opportunity to listen to great music in a small venue while ignoring everything else happening outside in the rain literally, there was a rainstorm.
I strongly encourage you to listen to TV Girl, and if you want to know more about the band’s history, good luck, they’re pretty MIA on the web. But hey, that’s probably on purpose. People love a good mystery. And who needs extensive interviews if you’re going viral on TikTok? The streams are sure to follow. Grade: A-
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Man refusing COVID-19 vaccine consumes body parts of a Hebrew man who died 2000 years ago By Mackenzie Moore ALMANAC CONTRIBUTOR
Since the Pfizer vaccine was approved last winter, billions of people around the world have decided to get the jab. However, many Americans continue to refuse to be vaccinated against COVID-19 due to concerns that the research done by scientists just isn’t up to snuff in comparison to that done by random bloggers or podcast host and Ultimate Fighting Championship color commentator Joe Rogan. Rich Schuster, 54, is one such American. Schuster’s case is a curious one; he will not receive a single dose of the vaccine, yet each week, he eats the body of a Hebrew man who died in roughly A.D. 30. While one would assume that a habit such as this would be practiced in secret, an investigation concluded that Schuster does this along with dozens of
others in a ceremony viewable to anybody who walks through the doors of St. Michael’s Catholic Church. Each participant is fed the centuries-old flesh by a balding man in a robe, which is typically green, but can also be colors such as purple, white, red or pink depending on whether or not it was an important day in the life of a carpenter’s son from 2,000 years ago. For some time, the working theory was that those who receive the body do so under the belief that the flesh has physical healing properties. However, this was negated in two ways. First, before the churchgoers have the meal, it is clearly stated that while they do not deserve to consume the body or its blood, they will do so anyway because it heals the soul; there is no mention of physical health. Secondly, even if the flesh did have medicinal properties, it would certainly
be negated by the four pancakes, half a pound of bacon and four cups of black coffee ingested without fail at a local diner an hour later. A reporter from The Daily Cardinal attempted to question Schuster after mass on Sunday, Oct. 31, but he was not seen exiting the church. After waiting several hours, Schuster was seen entering the building; he then walked into a small wooden room with the robed man and apologized for missing the feeding — along with several other confessions that should probably be kept on the down-low. After exiting the room, he was found kneeling with his hands squeezed together and mumbling the Hail Mary, a prayer to the mother of Jesus, with the hope that she will aid him in making it on time to eat her son’s body next week.
GRAPHIC BY HANNAH KENNEDY
NFL MVP Aaron Rodgers exempt from COVID-19 protocols By Gillian Rawling ALMANAC EDITOR
PHOTO COURTESY OF CREATIVE COMMONS
The Green Bay Packers exempted MVP quarterback Aaron Rodgers from coronavirus protocols after he tested positive for COVID-19. This comes after Rodgers petitioned the NFL to have alternative treatments that would allow him to be considered the same as someone who received an approved vaccine, and would allow him to play this weekend. In supporting his teammates’ choices to stay unvaccinated, Rodgers misled the media in August, saying in response to whether or not he had been vaccinated that he was “immunized.” “I really don’t understand
what the issue is,” said Rodgers. “I mean, I don’t wear a mask in the facilities, I haven’t been vaccinated and I’ve been drinking scotch out of the same glass since I won a superbowl ring in 2011.” “I’m just doing the same thing, plus a little more, that the majority of my fanbase in Wisconsin has been doing since the beginning of the pandemic. I don’t think I should be penalized for that,” said Rodgers. Other NFL players benched for the required 10 days demanded an explanation on Twitter for how such a blatant case of favoritism could be allowed. “If I grew an awesome ‘stache and had the appearance that I haven’t slept in a month, could I have played in the game following
my positive test?” tweeted Patriots quarterback, Cam Newton. Some fans jumped to defend Rodgers actions. “Damn, if I had an arm like that I wouldn’t want to be sore for two days either. Even if it did mean keeping an entire franchise that pays me millions of dollars a year secure,” said Robert Calona. The NFL was quick to respond, stating, “Because Rodgers said he was immunized we’re just going to treat him like he was vaccinated because 50% of the US population seems to have the same misconstruction that those two are one in the same.” They defended their choice, explaining, “Rodgers can run pretty quickly; it would be a shame not to see him do that
during a nationally televised event, even if that does change opinion surrounding an FDA approved vaccine.” They also said they would be changing their standards for COVID protocol. “We’re in no position to deny Wisconsinites the pure joy of a man who could give a shit about them throwing around a football to his teammates that he could potentially infect,” said the NFL. The organization apologized for their mishandling of COVID up until this point. “Moving forward,” the NFL spokesman said, “we will be going about the pandemic the same way as the majority of people in America, by pretending it doesn’t exist.”
Democrats ‘perplexed’ by less-than-promising election results By Nick Rawling ALMANAC EDITOR
Democrats in Washington were alarmed by the results of Tuesday’s gubernatorial elections in Virginia and New Jersey, which indicated that breaking every promise they made to voters in 2020 may not have been a winning strategy. In Virginia, a state Joe Biden won by more than 10% in 2020, Glenn Youngkin (R) defeated Terry McAuliffe (D) to become the state’s next governor. In New Jersey, where Biden won by 15%, the race’s margin was razor-thin. McAuliffe’s shocking defeat sent shivers down the spines of Democratic strategists nation-wide. “People are starting to get worried that we can’t excite young people of color with 60-some-
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thing white guys who say stuff like ‘think big’ and ‘be bold’ anymore,” said Democratic Colorado Sen. John Hickenlooper. Democrats up for election in 2022 are scrambling to rethink
their core campaign messages after McAuliffe’s message of “I am not Donald Trump” fell flat with Virginians. Some are even suggesting that the party should actually formulate a coherent agenda in order
to keep up with Republicans. After all, Republicans have something Democrats don’t: a core message. Sure, that message might be, “let’s accelerate the heat death of the planet if we can’t all die from Covid first,” but at least it’s something. “We need something to unite around,” said Pierce Blambert, a former staffer for the Tom Steyer campaign. “Remember how unified and effective the Democratic Party was when it looked like Bernie might win? We need something like that.” Moderate, pragmatic, tactical members of the party argue that Democrats are not doing enough to flaunt their various achievements since taking control of the presidency and both chambers of Congress, including approv-
ing new oil-drilling projects and pipelines on public and tribal lands, giving a major budgetboost to the Pentagon and continuing all of Donald Trump’s immigration policies. Radical, socialist, communists argue that Democrats might gain popularity by adopting Marxist policies like giving new parents paid leave, slightly lowering prescription drug prices or adding dental to Medicare. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to tell who is right. We can be sure about some things though: 2022 is going to be an absolute bloodbath, and the Trump/Biden rematch in 2024 will provide a ton of sidesplitting content for whichever assholes are writing for the Daily Cardinal Almanac.
We’re always looking for more funny and insightful writers with fresh takes on topics ranging from the UW campus to international news. We accept and encourage creative submissions as well! Any and all submissions are more than welcome. You can send your submissions and any comments or questions to almanac@dailycardinal.com. All articles featured in Almanac are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.