Wednesday, March 3, 2010 - The Daily Cardinal by The Daily Cardinal

SECOND TO NONE COMEDY TOUR VISITS MADISON Launching pad of comedy legends from Bill Murray to Tina Fey, Second City will perform Friday ARTS

University of Wisconsin-Madison

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What’s in a frame? How politicians use word choice to sell policies OPINION l PAGE 7

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Council OKs new Target, gives Wilco members citizenship

Senate approves bill restricting scalping at sporting event venues

By Grace Urban

The Daily Cardinal

In a surprisingly short meeting Tuesday, Madison’s Common Council voted to make band members of Wilco honorary citizens in addition to granting final approval for several city projects and liquor licenses. The council voted to allow the construction of a Target store at Hilldale Shopping Center on University Avenue. According to Jackie Bell, who spoke on behalf of Target, construction could begin as early as this spring. “We’ve had a lot of great input from citizens on [the project],” she said. “We would like to get under construction … right away when the ground thaws this spring and open the following summer in 2011.” According to Ald. Chris Schmidt, District 11, there has been a great deal of support for the Target project. Ald. Marsha Rummel, District 6, said the project was “a model for how the system is not broken,” referring to comments made by Mayor Dave Cieslewicz in the past in reference to problems council page 3

sam berg/cardinal file photo

Ald. Marsha Rummel, District 6, cited the coming Target store at Hilldale Shopping Center as evidence of a working development process in Madison.

Madison thefts rise as other crimes fall The Madison Police Department released findings Tuesday revealing that Madison experienced a decrease in many types of crime in 2009, despite an increase in theft. According to the Uniform Crime Reporting data, crimes covered by the report dropped 4.4 percent in Madison from 2008 to 2009, with the number of offenses decreasing from 9,147 in 2008 to 8,740 in 2009. danny marchewka/the daily cardinal

Chris Brockel, manager of the Food and Gardens Division of the Community Action Coalition for South Central Wisconsin, discusses strategies for ending hunger.

Hunger event sheds light on Madison poverty By Estephany Escobar The Daily Cardinal

The Millennium Development Goals Awareness Project held its second conference discussing hunger and poverty issues in the Red Gym Tuesday. Chris Brockel, manager of the Food and Gardens Division of the Community Action Coalition for South Central Wisconsin, discussed current projects to lessen hunger in the Madison area. During the event, “Engaging for

By Steven Rosenbaum The state Senate passed legislation Tuesday that seeks to restrict the resale of tickets outside entertainment and sporting event venues. The bill would allow cities, the UW System campuses and venues like the Milwaukee Bucks’ Bradley Center to create a “resale zone” where fans would be allowed to sell their excess tickets if the resale price is less than or equal to face value. Under the bill, a person selling outside the designated zone could receive a citation and be fined up to $500. Proponents of the bill, including the Milwaukee Brewers organization, said it will protect attendees from overly aggressive or harassing ticket resellers. State Sen. Jim Sullivan, D-Wauwatosa, sponsored the bill and said it will help fans enjoy the experience of attending events. “This is going to be enforced against people who are essentially very aggressive ticket resellers—people with handfuls of tickets in their hands. It’s not un-akin to aggressive panhandling,” Sullivan said during the Senate session. The bill passed the Senate on a 28-3 vote. State Sen. Glenn Grothman, R-West Bend, voted against the measure. He said the bill is unnecessary and unfairly targets the casual fan with an extra ticket they are looking to sell. “The Brewers claim the fans are being harassed. As someone who has been to over 100 Brewers games in my life, as well as Bucks and Badger games, I have never felt harassed,” Grothman said. “The Brewers are already receiving a subsidy of over $200 million on their stadium, and it shouldn’t bother them if a few people resell their tickets outside the designated area.” The Senate also passed a bill regulating the use of the words “Wisconsin,” “university,” “college” or “state” in the titles of academic institutions. The legislation was intended as a response to “diploma mills” that issue misleading academic credentials. The bill aims to eliminate and penalize anyone who manufactures such documents. It passed on a 29-2 vote.

“Despite statistically looking relatively good, areas of concern remain.” Joel DeSpain spokesperson Madison Police Department

Change: Ending Hunger on Time,” Brockel explained to a small crowd the relationship between food and politics. “We are not talking necessarily about the lack of food, [what] we are talking about is the distribution of food,” he said. Brockel said hunger in Madison may not be as explicit as in places like Niger and Haiti. “You might say, well, we don’t see kids ...

MPD said additional officers on the street last year along with better crime analysis contributed to the “positive impact on crime numbers.” UCR data cover eight categories of crime: murder, forcible

hunger page 3

crime page 3

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892

TODAY: sunny hi 37º / lo 20º

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If it’s ‘As Seen On TV,’ it’s made for Levy

Volume 119, Issue 99

2142 Vilas Communication Hall 821 University Avenue Madison, Wis., 53706-1497 (608) 262-8000 l fax (608) 262-8100

JILLIAN LEVY one in a jillian

News and Editorial edit@dailycardinal.com Charles Brace Editor in Chief Ryan Hebel Managing Editor Kelsey Gunderson Campus Editor Grace Urban City Editor Hannah Furfaro State Editor Hannah McClung Enterprise Editor Ashley Davis Associate News Editor Alison Dirr Senior News Reporters Ariel Shapiro Robert Taylor Anthony Cefali Opinion Editor Todd Stevens Katie Foran-McHale Arts Editors Jacqueline O’Reilly Scott Kellogg Sports Editors Nico Savidge Kevin Slane Page Two Editor Madeline Anderson Features Editor Ben Pierson Life and Style Editor Isabel Álvarez Photo Editors Danny Marchewka Caitlin Kirihara Graphics Editors Natasha Soglin Jenny Peek Multimedia Editor Jamie Stark Editorial Board Chair Anna Jeon Copy Chiefs Kyle Sparks Justin Stephani Jake VIctor Jaclyn Buffo Copy Editors Liz Van Deslunt, Libby Pappas, Margaret Raimann Lisa Robleski, Kaitlyn Schnell, Molly Stiﬂer Maddie Yardley

Business and Advertising business@dailycardinal.com Cole Wenzel Business Manager Katie Brown Advertising Manager Michael Cronin Accounts Receivable Manager Mindy Cummings Billing Manager Ana Devcic Senior Account Executive Mara Greenwald Account Executives Kristen Lindsay, D.J. Nogalski, Sarah Schupanitz Mara Greenwald Graphic Designer Eric Harris Web Director Mia Beeson Marketing Director Erin Schmidtke Archivist The Daily Cardinal is published weekdays and distributed at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and its surrounding community with a circulation of 10,000. The Daily Cardinal is a nonproﬁt organization run by its staff members and elected editors. It receives no funds from the university. Operating revenue is generated from advertising and subscription sales. Capital Newspapers, Inc. is the Cardinal’s printer. The Daily Cardinal is printed on recycled paper. The Cardinal is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press and the Wisconsin Newspaper Association. All copy, photographs and graphics appearing in The Daily Cardinal are the sole property of the Cardinal and may not be reproduced without written permission of the editor in chief. The Daily Cardinal accepts advertising representing a wide range of views. This acceptance does not imply agreement with the views expressed. The Cardinal reserves the right to reject advertisements judged offensive based on imagery, wording or both. Complaints: News and editorial complaints should be presented to the editor in chief. Business and advertising complaints should be presented to the business manager. Letters Policy: Letters must be typewritten, double-spaced and no longer than 200 words, including contact information. Letters may be sent to letters@dailycardinal.com.

Editorial Board Charles Brace Anthony Cefali Kathy Dittrich Ryan Hebel Nico Savidge Jamie Stark Todd Stevens Justin Stephani l

Board of Directors Vince Filak Cole Wenzel Joan Herzing Jason Stein Jeff Smoller Janet Larson Chris Long Charles Brace Katie Brown Benjamin Sayre Jenny Sereno Terry Shelton Melissa Anderson l

THURSDAY: sunny hi 38º / lo 22º

ome people don’t understand the value of commercials. These people believe they should be able to watch their favorite TV shows or sporting teams play without interruption. But not me. I see the real beauty in commercials. Not only do they provide an often much-needed bathroom break or opportunity to grab the makings of a delicious snack, they also inform viewers of important product information and the most current knickknacks on the market. To demonstrate the value of commercials, I jotted down a quick list of interesting facts I gathered over the weekend while watching hour upon hour of television. I learned that Tostitos salsa is made not in a food processor, no, but rather by a dancing woman who herself is also made of tomatoes, onions and garlic.

And that the best way to get the upper chest muscles I’ve always dreamed of is through the Shake Weight—which promises perfect biceps and boobs by doing nothing more than jerking off a dumbbell for six minutes a day. I am a dream come true for advertisers nationwide. It doesn’t matter if it’s made for men, blind people or dogs, I will buy anything (really, anything at all) that comes with an “As Seen On TV” sticker. However, if there were an Olympics of commercials, the gold medalists would always, without a doubt, be the products sold on infomercials. Some people might consider those products shit, but not me. No... “pure gold” is the descriptor I would use. Stay up past 3 a.m. any given weeknight on any network TV channel and watch the magic happen before your eyes. I’m not sure what it is about those overzealous, sometimes frightening spokesmen, but no matter what it is that’s for sale, I feel like they are speaking to my soul. Reaching out from the depths of my TV, calling, “Buy this shit. You need it. It needs you.” And I do... Billy, Vince, George... I really do.

In the past two months, I have decided to purchase a Slap Chop (“Fettuccini, linguini, martini, bikini!”), a Perfect Brownie Pan, a Snuggie for my dog Molly—who inconveniently died before it arrived—and a Split Ender. I can guarantee that not one of these products will live up to my expectations, but that’s OK. By the time they break, spontaneously start on ﬁre or get stolen by one of my conniving roommates, I’ll have moved onto something bigger and better and much more gimmicky. I can actually trace the moment my commercial/infomercial addiction began to my junior year of high school when my sister came home from college for winter break. It must have been around 2 or 2:30 in the morning and we were at the point of tiredness when everything becomes hilarious, and we were high on life. To make matters worse, my sister had just acquired her ﬁrst credit card, and it was pretty much jumping out of her wallet, begging to be used. And then the Jack LaLanne Power Juicer came on. We were done for. That dinosaur was in better shape than

both of us, and it was all thanks to juicing! My sister made a comment about always wanting to try juicing, and I made all the necessary promises to get her to purchase one. By the time the juicer arrived, my sister had already returned to Michigan—an oversight on our part—and everyone knows summer isn’t a good season for fruit, so after she settled back home in June our interest waned quickly and didn’t take long to die out. I’m pretty sure that juicer is still tucked away in my father’s attic somewhere if he hasn’t just thrown it out by now... but that isn’t the point. While I would never encourage anyone to ever develop an “As Seen On TV” addiction like that of my own, I would encourage everyone to at least indulge themselves in a little quality commercial viewing. You never know what life-changing product might pop onto your TV screen. Want to be a part of the shopping-addiction intervention Jillian’s friends and family are secretly arranging? I wouldn’t suggest e-mailing her at jlevy2@wisc.edu because then you would ruin the surprise.

ASK THE DEER CARDINAL Life is hard. The Deer Cardinal is here to help.

Deer Cardinal— I was at a party last week, and some guys were talking about music. I thought I knew something about music, but when I went to talk to them, I got laughed at. Apparently Weezer aren’t as cool as they used to be. Any suggestions on some bands I can talk up at the next party to raise my indie cred? —Max B. Mad Max, Music can be a tricky business. But like any other topic of conversation, it can be mastered through a few simple tricks. First, be incredibly assertive, regardless of position. So this guy at the party thinks the White Stripes are the most influential band of the decade? The people he’s with may go with the safe affirmative nod, but you need to assert your music dominance! Jump in with a snide retort like “Wow, I had no idea garage rock was the end-all, be-all at the Web 2.0 generation!” or “Yeah, the White Stripes are OK if you’re into that paint-by-numbers mainstream corporate bullshit!” At this point, you’ll have the group’s undivided attention.

If the guy decides to challenge your statement, cite the almighty bible of indie music, Pitchfork. Say something like “Everyone knows that Animal Collective changed the face of music this last decade, and if you’re going to disagree with Scott Plagenhoef, we might as well just throw down right now!” Finally, be dismissive of the question in general, suggesting that the premise is false to begin with. In this example, responses like “How the hell can we begin to judge what band was the ‘most inﬂuential’ when we as a society have such a skewed view of what ‘inﬂuential’ means?” or “Considering that every artist from this decade just copied Pavement, we might as well ignore the aughts as a cesspool that brought us Soulja Boy and AutoTuning.” Everyone will probably think you’re a jackass, but you’ll be an interesting jackass, and isn’t that what really matters? Deer Cardinal— My roommate Kevin keeps leaving me notes to wash my dishes and clean up after myself in the bathroom, but then he leaves his

trash around, steals my food and leaves turds in the toilet the size of a large rodent. How can I best deal with his rampant hypocrisy? —Phil S. John Phil-lip Sousa— The real question is not how to “best” deal with it. The best way is to have a friendly, nonconfrontational conversation with your roommate. In all likelihood he probably had no idea the things he was doing bugged you and will make an effort to stop. The better question is: “How can I most hilariously deal with his rampant hypocrisy?” The answer to that question is “through a series of passive-aggressive moves the likes of which the world has never seen.” Lest you risk your roommate actually correcting his actions, go for the kill strike in one swift move. Print out a Brothers-sized sign for the side of your house with the words “Kevin, stop stealing my eggs or else this sign turns into a picture of your twoinch penis.” Next, create a Facebook album called “Finally got the apartment clean! Thanks for

your help Kevin!” with every single object your roommate left out photographed and tagged so it shows up on his News Feed. Finally, take a Comm. Arts class in film production, and make your final project a “Law & Order” parody where a college student, driven mad by his roommate’s slovenly ways, kills his roommate by bludgeoning him with a plate of dirty dishes, shoving his head into the stillfull toilet he left that morning and force-feeding him a cocktail of ketchup, eggs, pickles, peanut butter and rat poison. Either your roommate will make a meticulous effort to stay clean after that, or he’ll move out because he’s legitimately scared of you murdering him in his sleep. Either way, you win! Think The Deer Cardinal’s stance on roommate issues was a bit harsh? Quit crying, you pussy. E-mail him with more questions at deercardinal@dailycardinal.com.

The Soapbox For the record Corrections or clariﬁcations? Call The Daily Cardinal ofﬁce at 608-262-8000 or send an e-mail to edit@dailycardinal.com.

It’s like the “Girls Gone Wild” of The Daily Cardinal opinion blogs. Check it out now at dailycardinal.com/opinion

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

news

New Talgo train plant likely to create 125 jobs in Milwaukee Spanish train company Talgo will operate from the former Tower Automotive to build the new high-speed rail lines and is expected to create 125 new jobs in Milwaukee, the company announced Tuesday. Gov. Jim Doyle praised Talgo’s decision to manufacture the trains in Milwaukee. “The new Talgo facility will create 125 direct jobs in our state, manufacturing and assembling Talgo trains for Wisconsin and states across the country,” he said in a statement. “Through the [American Recovery and Reinvestment] Act and this facility, Wisconsin will see real economic benefits of high-speed rail for generations to come.” Doyle said that aside from the direct creation of new jobs, the Talgo facility will also result in the creation of 450 new jobs throughout the Midwest at com-

council from page 1 encountered by the Edgewater Hotel project. Plans, specifications and a schedule of assessments—such as a change in lighting—for Broom Street renovations were adopted without debate.

“We would like to get under construction ... right away.”

Jackie Bell representative Target

The council also adopted without debate a request for a liquor license by Quaker Steak and Lube, which will replace Uno Chicago Grill on Gorham Street.

hunger from page 1 with their ribs sticking out,” he said. However, according to Brockel, recent CAC statistics report 80 percent of the people they serve from Dane, Jefferson and Waukesha counties are below the federal poverty level.

“When you give people dignity back, I think they feel they have a voice.” Suraiya Haroon co-founder Millennium Development Goals Awareness Project

UW-Madison graduate student Mariko Hasebe said she was unaware of the issue of poverty in Madison before the presentation. She said that in a college town, what is seen on campus is very different from the realities Brockel spoke about. Brockel said although it is not always obvious in the downtown area, the food pantries in the

panies supplying the materials for rail construction. Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett said he is excited about the new construction facility and said in a statement that this is another example of how Milwaukee’s city development team is striving to bring business to the region. “Again, we have demonstrated that by working together, by using every appropriate economic development tool and by selling Milwaukee’s strengths we can attract jobs to our community,” Barrett said in a statement. “I am confident our partnership with Talgo will produce benefits throughout the region.” Talgo’s decision comes in the wake of the state Legislature’s approval of $810 million in federal funds for the construction of a Madison-Milwaukee rail line. Service is expected to begin in 2013. —Ariel Shapiro In addition, the council members voted unanimously to make Wilco band members Jeff Tweedy, John Stiratt, Glenn Kotche, Mikael Jorgensen, Nel Cline and Pat Sansone honorary citizens of Madison. One Madison resident, however, did speak against the measure. Kyle Bowden said he saw it as a form of “injustice” that this resolution could be adopted while there are still many disparities in Madison and Dane County’s criminal justice systems. “For many years we haven’t been, within Madison or Dane County, … totally just with our actual citizens,” he said. “People of color are arrested much more than white citizens even though they make up a much smaller percentage of the population.” “I’d like for that personally to be remedied somehow,” he added. “We [need] equity in the criminal justice system.” three counties currently serve 38 percent more residents than they did in 2007. CAC coordinates food pantries, food drives and medical assistance. It also educates about food safety and distributes to pantries, according to Brockel. People in the Madison area are generous and willing to support those in poverty, Brockel said. Brockel said although monetary contributions can have a bigger impact, direct food donations tend to better involve the community with the issue. “Going out and buying food and the physical act of donating, it connects folks to the issue more than writing a check,” he said. Brockel also discussed the importance of providing a range of choices in the pantry to suit different dietary, cultural and preferential needs. Doing so, he said, instills a sense of dignity within the issue of poverty. “When you give people dignity back, I think they feel they have a voice,” said Suraiya Haroon, a UW-Madison graduate student and MDGAP co-founder.

caitlin kirihara/the daily cardinal

crime from page 1 rape, aggravated assault, robbery, burglaries, stolen vehicles, theft and simple assault. Despite crime decreasing overall, incidents of theft increased over the past year, from 5,720 in 2008 to 6,015 in 2009.

According to figures released by MPD Central District Cpt. Mary Schauf in her December newsletter, theft from cars increased from 284 incidents in 2008 to 399 incidents in 2009. Thefts from vehicles continue to be an issue, she said, because the “quick cash provides money for drugs and alcohol.”

“Decreasing theft numbers is one current area of focus for officers,” MPD spokesperson Joel DeSpain said in a statement. “[This is] but one barometer on where Madison stands as far as public safety,” he added. “Despite statistically looking relatively good, areas of concern remain.” —Grace Urban

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

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arts

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

‘Marriage Ref ’ a bad call MARK RIECHERS jumping the mark

PHOTO COURTESY UNIVERSAL PICTURES

Second City member Katie Rich described the company as a family. Cast members continue to work together after leaving the famed Chicago tradition, as seen in “Baby Mama,” starring alums Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

Second City brings comic prestige to Overture Hall By Jacqueline O’Reilly THE DAILY CARDINAL

The Second City is a Chicago tradition, conceived in 1959 in the city’s Old Town neighborhood. Since then it has grown into a comedy enterprise, gaining increasing amounts of fame and respect for its improvisational sketch comedy. This past year marked Second City’s 50th anniversary. In celebration of this monumental event, the theater has taken to the road, bringing their infamous comedy cross-country, including a visit to Madison this Friday. Over the years The Second City served as the launching ground for many big stars, boasting alumni like Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Chris Farley, Steve Carell, Tina Fey and countless others. These success stories are indicative of the phenomenal comedy Second City continually provides for its audiences, a consistency that has kept Chicagoans coming for 50 years. “I think Second City’s staying power is that it finds a way to reinvent itself while still staying true to its roots,” Katie Rich, a member of Second City’s touring company, said. “Our shows are organic, always in flux and we’re willing to change so much, it’s never going to get old.” It is this exact adaptability that keeps Second City shows inducing fresh fits of laughter. Past show titles include “America: All Better!” and “Between Barack and a Hard Place,” exemplifying the theater’s willingness to take on timely material and run in all sorts of hilariously creative directions with it. Although the comedy of Second City draws in fans from all age groups, Rich is confident college students will be particularly attracted to the show. Because they are familiar with and fond of the humor in shows like “The Colbert Report” and “The Daily Show,” she expects students to enjoy Second City’s similar satire on political and social issues. “Having grown up with The Onion and Jon Stewart, I think college kids are so very well versed in satire and irony. [Our] style itself is perfect for college kids,” Rich said. Friday’s show features the theater’s most famous and revered sketches. This includes ones popular early in the

theater’s history as well as more current favorites, each revived by a new cast of Second City comedians. “We actually have a scene from the ﬁrst ever Second City review that Alan Arkin was in,” Rich said. “It’s all archived material.”

Although the comedy of Second City draws in fans from all age groups, Rich is conﬁdent college students will be particularly attracted to the show.

This is not to say, however, that the show does not make room for some improv. Weaved throughout the archived sketches are chances for the cast to improvise, something Rich describes as providing “more fun for us.” Traditional shows put on at Second City’s Chicago main stage often include humor meant speciﬁcally to amuse

the city’s natives, whether this means mocking Cubs fans or taking a jab at a lowly Chicago suburb. However, the touring show has been adapted to appease its national audience. But as Rich explains, it cannot fully avoid mentioning its hometown. “We’re so proud of it,” Rich said. “There’s always going to be some nod to our roots.” But regardless of whether you live in the birthplace of Second City, the Badger State or anywhere else, everyone could use a laugh these days. Comedy, speciﬁcally this Friday’s Second City performance, can help to supply this much-needed laughter. “I think in some ways with everything that’s going on sometimes laughing is the only thing that makes sense,” explains Rich. “Sometimes comedy is the best way to make heads or tails of a situation.” The Second City 50th Anniversary Tour will perform this Friday at 8 p.m. at the Overture Center. Tickets are still available and cost between $15 and $36.

etermined to prove that I don’t entirely hate America, the global stage and the majesty of curling, I turned on the closing ceremonies of the Olympics Sunday night to make an honest effort at patriotism. And boy, did those goofy paperboy outfits worn by our U.S. Olympians get me tearing up and screaming “USA!” at my TV. I was just about to replace the back window of my pickup truck with a painted mural of the American flag when an NBC promo flickered on my TV: “Coming up next, it’s ‘THE MARRIAGE REF’ from producer JERRY SEINFELD!” What followed had me seriously considering Canadian citizenship. If you’re not familiar with the premise of “The Marriage Ref,” let me enlighten you: Jerry Seinfeld’s squad of marriage-wrecking cameramen goes to an average married couple and documents their not-so-average squabbles. The first episode features a couple fighting over whether a husband could keep his dead, stuffed dog in the house and another that fight over bringing a stripper pole in the bedroom. The footage they collect is shown to a panel of celebrity “experts,” many of whom don’t have the greatest marriage track records (ahem Alec Baldwin and Madonna), who advise host Tom Papa on who wins the couple’s argument. They then bring the couple on live TV to mock them via satellite, humiliate one member of the couple and then bribe them with a second honeymoon to try to repair the damage. The wretchedness of the show has been pretty well documented in the press—when critics are clamoring for “The Leno Show” to be back in primetime, you

know things are bad. What struck me after finally seeing it was just how dull they managed to make everything. There are only two couples per episode, so you’re stuck hearing the same problems over and over. The host generally passes off loud talking at his guests as comedy and really only serves as the gum that sticks the husband, wife and three celebrities together. For some reason, they even roped in Natalie Morales from NBC’s “Today” to check the facts of the arguments and sportscaster Marv Albert to do a completely unnecessary highlight reel at the end of each episode to fill the last ten minutes. There’s not even a trashy, fun vibe to this show. It just makes me sad for the pettiness of both Hollywood and marriage. The one redeeming factor is the celebrity hosts, who make the experience bearable with their frequent looks of “What the hell did you get me into, Jerry?” at both Seinfeld and the audience. In the first episode, Alec Baldwin started passing the time by messing with Kelly Ripa just to see if she would embarrass herself. A clip from a future episode showed both Ricky Gervais and Larry David utterly flabbergasted that they were somehow brought in as sideshow acts on Jerry’s Marital Circus. The worst part? This week’s half-hour episode is only a taste of the hour-long blocks of misery to come. NBC has a lot of gall placing this show right after their otherwise hallowed Thursday night lineup—hoping for residual viewership, I suppose. Hopefully American couples end up despising the show as well. If NBC successfully sells this shlock as slice of American life, I want to vomit my portion everywhere. As you can tell, Mark is desperate for new episodes of “30 Rock”—mid-season breaks are drying up the watchable TV supply. Send your requests for “Lost”-related columns to mriechers@wisc.edu.

comics 6

Law and Order: Two-thirds of the world’s lawyers live in the United States dailycardinal.com/comics

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

High School Algebra

Today’s Sudoku

Evil Bird

By Caitlin Kirihara kirihara@wisc.edu

Ludicrous Linguistics

By Celia Donnelly donnelly.celia@gmail.com

Solution, tips and computer program available at www.sudoku.com.

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

The Graph Giraffe Classic

By Yosef Lerner graphics@dailycardinal.com

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Crustaches

By Patrick Remington premington@wisc.edu

First in Twenty

By Angel Lee alee23@wisc.edu

Answer key available at www.dailycardinal.com

Solve this puzzle ACROSS 1 Pack down tightly 5 Career golfers 9 President James ___ Garfield 14 Complainant 15 Swearing-in words 16 French soldier 17 Olympic dueling weapon 18 Tom Joad, for one 19 Indications of hunger 20 Be extraordinary 23 “___ along, little dogie” 24 Tuscan city 25 Connects emotionally 27 Boot a batted ball 28 Champagne and orange juice drink 32 Truth alternative 33 Gentleman’s gentleman 34 Deceptive appearance 35 What a pelican might do? 38 Cut off from everyone else 40 Tennis great Chris 41 Australian parrot 42 Long discourse

4 Bossy’s chew 4 47 More modest 49 Apparel size 51 Dream Team team 52 Go for a swim during hot weather, e.g. 56 Vitality 58 Ran like the wind 59 Fiction writer Ferber 60 “The Jungle Book” setting 61 Qatar VIP 62 Skirt type 63 Silkworm center of 60-Across 64 Dumbbell turns 65 First name in slapstick DOWN 1 Equatorial pest 2 Cultural exchange employee 3 More timid 4 Emulate a peacock 5 Christopher Robin’s “silly old bear” 6 Autumn tool 7 Narc chaser? 8 Aviation hazards 9 Fencer’s foot stamp 10 Anaconda, e.g. 11 Raccoon feature 12 Capital on the Mediterranean

13 Too good to miss, as a TV show 21 Cantina wrap 22 Mauna ___, Hawaii 26 Full-price payer 29 “Well, ___ be!” 30 “Have we ___?” 31 Survey choice, sometimes 33 Something for the record? 34 Passe undergarment 35 Soccer positions 36 “Not a creature was stirring” time 37 “Akeelah and the ___” 38 Sediments or deposits 39 Relaxes, as one’s grip 42 Get the idea 43 Big depression 44 Accounting entry 45 Kampala is its capital 46 Keep from leaving 48 Type of girder 50 “Pardon me” grunts 53 Massive volume 54 It may precede a fall 55 That woman’s 57 Airline ticket word

Washington and the Bear

By Derek Sandberg kalarooka@gmail.com

opinion dailycardinal.com/opinion

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

view Cardinal View editorials represent The Daily Cardinal’s organizational opinion. Each editorial is crafted independent of news coverage.

november rush nuisance not needed

very student knows about the November Rush. All of a sudden, your inbox is ﬂooded with offers from companies like Steve Brown Apartments, CHT Apartments and Madison Property Management. Ads in local papers advertise apartments and houses that will be available in the fall. If you already have an apartment, people start touring your home looking to make it theirs for the next school year. While students across the country spend their time focusing on classes, with the thought of where to live the next fall far in the back of their minds, UW-Madison students start to worry about ﬁnding an apartment nine months before they will move in. Although most students realize they do not necessarily need to sign before winter break, too many rush into the decision, signing leases with roommates they might not like come August, or agreeing to pay higher rent than they would have if they had waited. Sure, they hear from places like the Tenant Resource Center that there are plenty of apartments in Madison and that they shouldn’t even think about signing until the spring semester at the earliest— which is true. But when landlords across Madison tell them they need to sign early or wind up in a crappy place, many students disregard that advice and decide to sign anyway. To make sure tenants do not sign a lease too early, Madison is one of the only cities in the country that has ordinances about when landlords can show apartments

and when renters can sign leases. Currently that law prevents rental companies from showing or selling apartments until one-fourth of the way through the lease, which for students is generally Nov. 15. Under a new ordinance proposed by Ald. Bridget Maniaci, District 2, that restriction would extend to one-half of the way through a lease. The Madison Common Council should pass Maniaci’s ordinance because it can improve the city housing markets, especially for the neighborhoods near campus. If students could not sign leases until the spring, there would almost certainly be fewer instances of renters having to break contracts, and they would generally be happier with the people they wound up living with. Think back to November of your freshman year—did you really know Madison well enough to find a good place to live, much less know your friends well enough to commit to living with them for a year? Rental companies have protested the proposal, saying it will create an even more intense rush and that students would end up making hasty decisions as apartments are snatched up later in the year. But if Maniaci’s proposal is approved, students will benefit from the delayed rental season because they will have more time to find out where they want to live and who they want to live with. And, hopefully, the November Rush will become a thing of the past.

Delaying candidacy will hurt Thompson’s chances BEN TURPIN opinion columnist

ill he or won’t he? This question usually indicates one of two things around these parts: Either it is the NFL offseason or we are approaching an election of some sort. Brett Favre and former Wisconsin Gov. Tommy Thompson could easily be cousins. Both have been transplanted only to become Wisconsin golden boys. Both have retired, but both have had to consider whether they are happy with that status several times. Both can “still play.” Perhaps most signiﬁcantly at this point, both are holding their respective organizations in suspense while they ponder their futures. Tommy Thompson has reportedly been considering a run against Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wisconsin, in the upcoming midterm elections for some time now and is apparently getting more serious about it, even as he takes actions that would indicate otherwise. Thompson has been in contact with some of his former political associates and claims he has already raised $200,000 for his hypothetical campaign. But on the other hand, he joined Peak Ridge Capital Group as an adviser only about a month ago. What is he going to do? At this point it is unclear. It is even more unclear considering the fact that he has dipped his toes in the waters of politics multiple times recently, only to decide against proceeding further. Similar to his football-playing counterpart, the deadline for his decision remains quite a distance away. The reason Republicans are enter-

taining the prospect of a Thompson campaign is clear. He is their best shot at taking Feingold’s seat. According to a recent Rasmussen Reports poll, Thompson leads Feingold by 5 percent while neither of the alternative Republican candidates are serious contenders. Even if he runs and loses, Thompson would force the Democrats to back a candidate in a contentious race that would probably require very little from them otherwise. That is an attractive worst case scenario for the Republican Party— much like another Brett Favre season would be for the Vikings whose next quarterback is Tarvaris Jackson and who have little prospect of acquiring a replacement.

Tommy Thompson may give Republicans their best chance at beating Feingold, but there are still many questions.

However, like Favre, Thompson’s wafﬂing is preventing his organization from doing what it can to look for a suitable replacement in case of his absence. As long as the possibility of a Thompson campaign exists, the Republican Party is powerless to get behind either Terrence Wall or Dave Westlake. So if Thompson decides not to run, he has effectively crippled the party’s chances at building up either lesser-known candidate and thus gaining, or even competing for, Feingold’s seat. The kicker in all of this is that even if he runs, Thompson himself is not a sure thing. His stint as secretary of health and human services was marked by the implementation of more regulations. He was in favor of a one-dollar increase on cigarettes.

Thompson spoke out in favor of health-care reform, which almost no one opposes in any form, but shockingly he chose to endorse the monstrosity of a Senate health-care bill that came very close to passing before Scott Brown’s election officially killed it. These actions have not endeared Thompson to conservatives. In a primary, they may choose him as their most electable candidate, or they may choose a candidate who holds more closely to their principles. Thompson may give Republicans their best chance at beating Feingold, but there are still many questions. Will he actually decide to run or will all of this amount to just more talk about him returning to politics, like his unfulfilled musings about taking back his position as Governor? If he does not run how much damage will the possibility of a Thompson campaign do to those of the two Republican candidates who have already announced their intentions to run? If he does run, will he be able to maintain his small lead over Feingold once he is back under the intense public scrutiny that comes along with any campaign for an office at the federal level and once Feingold goes into serious campaign mode? Finally, after his actions and comments since leaving Wisconsin, will the state’s conservatives welcome him back with open arms? The sooner these questions are answered, the better things will be for the Republican Party. The longer Thompson deliberates, the bigger and more pointed the questions will get. Much like the former green-and-gold superhero, Thompson would help himself and others immensely if he could expedite his decision-making process, whatever that may entail. Ben Turpin is a junior majoring in history and political science. We welcome all feedback. Please send responses to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

Passive terminology dulls the imminent threat of global climate change ANTHONY CEFALI opinion columnist

n 1998, President Bill Clinton tried to sidestep responsibility for his affair by parrying with words. In defense of his character in front of the grand jury, Clinton smugly used the infamous line “it depends on what your deﬁnition of ‘is,’ is.” Clinton was always known for his slick demeanor, and during the Monica Lewinsky trials he did not disappoint. The truth is, the argument still stands. What’s in a word? Well, everything—even in a word as short and incidental as “is.” Words are memory banks of culture and communication, the human “meme,” to borrow from Richard Dawkins. We empty out so much of ourselves into words and they come to stand for so much. Clinton wasn’t really abusing the English language. Rather, he was using it to frame a philosophical idea. But there are times when the misuse of words leads to serious misunderstandings. This issue is most apparent in environmental politics because of the debate’s “us and them” nature.

Currently, the most egregious case of lexical abuse is the use of “climate change.” What does “climate change” even mean? It is an innocuous term for an urgent problem. The term takes a real threat and sterilizes it, wiping it clean of any bigger implications. By changing the name to ﬁght off common arguments like “we’ve had so much snow in Wisconsin this year,” or “summer just wasn’t that warm,” scientists and the media have given credence to these oddball theories on global climatology. Under any name, global warming is occurring, and it is occurring at a rate we can no longer accurately model. Because our models have failed, we’re seeing things we couldn’t possibly predict, which accounts for cool weather anomalies amidst a planet awash in warming. We’re also blurring the lines between natural and man-made causes. Our poor terminology only exacerbates the situation. When asked about the term “climate change” and Thomas Friedman’s utterly inane term “global weirding,” Whyﬁles.com staff writer David Tenenbaum offered the term “climate disturbance” as a viable alternative. “Something has changed the climate, and we are that something. It

has a negative connotation, which is accurate,” Tenenbaum said. We need a name that doesn’t conjure up ambiguity over what is really occurring. The current global warming trends are man-made. A term like climate change implies what is happening could be due to natural events, and to survive global warming humans just need to ride out the storm. Again, what’s in a word? How do we construct a better term to deal with the global warming threat? Politicians need to stop pandering these neutral terms for image points. This tactic degrades the science of the situation, and it is the science that matters. More importantly, we need a term that means a lot of things to a lot of people. A diverse country has myriad reasons to abate global warming, and we need a term that hits on these different levels. We need to create a desire to curtail global warming, and “climate change” only appeals to the centrist viewpoint and gives validity to global-warming denial. Tenenbaum pointed out that nomenclature issues happen at smaller scales too. In Madison, there is much aversion to the use of “sewage sludge” as a fertilizer. Sewage sludge is an awful name for a gross thing (it is actually mostly excrement, nutrient

rich excrement, which makes it a great fertilizer), so most people refer to the fertilizer as “biosolids.” And farmers love biosolids. The same thing is occurring with the proposed manure digesters throughout Wisconsin. They are being referred to rather politely as “biodigesters.” These are both instances where the new term appropriately ﬁlls the uncertainty and makes the repugnant product acceptable for consumption. Both terms retain the products integrity while making it

easier for the public to accept. Nomenclature matters. The term “climate change” doesn’t capture the urgency of the situation. It takes a clear science and muddies it to account for exceptions. “Climate change” is ignorable, whereas “climate disturbance” is not. We can no longer afford to keep ignoring climate disturbance. Anthony Cefali is a senior majoring in biology and English. We welcome all feedback. Please send responses to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

sports 8

dailycardinal.com/sports

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Men’s Basketball

Emotional game against Iowa awaits UW seniors Hughes, Bohannon to play ﬁnal game at Kohl Center By Scott Kellogg THE DAILY CARDINAL

Senior guards Trevon Hughes and Jason Bohannon will lace ‘em up and run out onto the ﬂoor of the Kohl Center for the ﬁnal time when

the Badgers face Iowa Wednesday on Senior Night. Players and coaches try to focus on the task at hand, but with the team facing a 4-12 (10-19 overall) Hawkeyes squad, some of the concentration will shift to the team’s two seniors. As Bohannon gears up for his ﬁnal home game as a Badger, he reﬂected on his time at Wisconsin and had nothing but good things to say about his experience.

JUSTIN STEPHANI/CARDINAL FILE PHOTO

Trevon Hughes and the Badgers will try to block out the emotions of Senior Night when they face the sub-.500 Hawkeyes.

“I wouldn’t change anything,” Bohannon said. “I’ve been here for four years and done a lot of great things. Every time there was something negative it’s turned into a positive for us.” Bohannon and Hughes have been a part of a UW squad that has qualified for the NCAA Tournament their first three years and won a Big Ten Championship in 2008. Now the two upperclassmen are the lone seniors on the men’s basketball team, and Bohannon said he has used that understanding to help his teammates. “You have more experience than anyone else on the floor,” Bohannon said. “And if you feel like you should do something somewhere, you might as well speak up.” The seniors’ teammates have appreciated Hughes and Bohannon’s time as Badgers and the guidance they have provided. Junior forward Keaton Nankivil said the two are not the loudest guys on the team, but still two players he looks up to. “They’ve done such a great job of leading our team this year. [Hughes] has played a very steady point, [Bohannon] just quietly does his thing,” Nankivil said. “A lot of it’s lead by example. They’re not vocal, get-in-your face people, but you can always count on them to set an example, play hard, do the right things, and so far it’s taken us a long way.” No matter how hard Wisconsin may want to look at tonight’s contest as just another game, associate head coach Greg Gard said he

ISABEL ÁLVAREZ/CARDINAL FILE PHOTO

Jason Bohannon will play his ﬁnal game in the Kohl Center when Wisconsin plays Iowa Wednesday in the ﬁnal home game of the season. knows there is a different sense on Senior Night. “There’s always the emotion of it,” Gard said. “I’m sure it’s special for them, and I know from a coaching standpoint it’s always emotional. It’s the last time you reflect on what they’ve done and how much they’ve benefited from being here and how much they’ve helped you and how you’ve seen them grow. I think that’s the neatest thing.” After the pre-game ceremony, Hughes and Bohannon will have to collect their emotions and manage to play a composed game against Iowa, something Gard said he believes they can do. “[Past seniors] always have

really handled it pretty well. They understand that this is just another phase,” Gard said. “Once the ball gets tipped up and we get going a little bit, then we can just play.” Once the contest does end, Hughes and Bohannon will never step into the Kohl Center to play in a game for the Badgers again, and then it will be time to completely reﬂect on their careers. Bohannon said, when looking back at his time at UW, he’ll remember multiple parts of the surrounding experience that made his time here special. “Fans, teammates, coaching staff, everything,” Bohannon said. “You can’t really label one thing as being the best thing, it’s the combination of everything that makes it great.”

More international tournaments the key to hockey’s popularity SCOTT KELLOGG the cereal box

ever in my life can I remember so much focus from the sports world on hockey than during the Vancouver Olympics. I was completely hooked, leaving games on in my apartment whenever I was home, whether it be the preliminary round or the goldmedal game. People I knew, who ranged from casual hockey fans to apathetic ones, became invested. The national media turned its focus away from college basketball, the NBA and the NFL offseason to the U.S.-Canada gold-medal game. The sport could not have asked for a better showcase. After the dust settled, analysts everywhere debated whether or not the sport could sustain the success of the tournament and transfer it to the NHL. Hockeyspecific writers are optimistic, believing their favorite sport now has enough attention to affect the NHL’s popularity. More general pundits say once the buzz wears off the NHL will go back to relative oblivion and return to the proverbial backseat behind the other major sports.

The latter group is correct. The sport could not have asked for a better tournament, but after the 2006 Olympic Games, and even following the 2002 Games that also featured a U.S.-Canada final game, we never saw a residual effect strong enough to create a long-term impact on the sport. But I can’t let it go that easily. After such an amazing event, we know there is potential for the sport to succeed in some capacity. I can’t accept simply allowing the sport to succumb to a poorly-run league and wait another four years for another Olympic hockey experience (if there even is one, with the NHL unlikely to pause its regular season for the 2014 Games in Sochi, Russia).

The national media turned its focus away from college basketball, the NBA and the NFL offseason to the U.S.Canada gold-medal game

There is a solution out there— way out there. What I’ve seen the past couple weeks is a sport that struggles in its primary domestic league but thrives in international play. So what is needed is a com-

plete overhaul of hockey’s landscape—to shift the sport’s base from the NHL to the world. The sport doesn’t need to abolish the NHL, it just needs to shorten the season and emphasize international play with more events. To accomplish this, hockey can use soccer as a model. The MLS season lasts 30 games. The Premier League in England plays 38 games in a season. The NHL’s 82 games are way too many to begin with. The league should cut its season in half and downsize the playoffs from 16 teams to eight. It can spread out the games more and still chop two months off of the season. A greater value on each game may even increase interest and revenue in the long run. Even with a shortened NHL season, the Winter Olympics will still probably cut into it. So let’s let Commissioner Gary Bettman have his wish and continue the NHL during the Olympics. If players still desire, they can ditch their teams for a couple of weeks to represent their country (Alex Ovechkin and Patrick Kane already declared they’d do so if the season does not stop for the 2014 Games). The Olympic tournament would not carry the same gusto as before, but with a handful of NHL

players and the intensity international hockey carries, it would still be must-see television.

The sport doesn’t need to abolish the NHL, it just needs to shorten the season and emphasize international play.

Then, just as soccer does, hockey should adopt a World Cup as the hallmark event of the sport. Hold it in November just before the NHL season and throw 16 teams in there. Everyone could play in it, conflict-free. And without worrying about the NHL’s season, the event can hold more games and spread them out more. Then with a shortened and more spread-out NHL season, the NHL can throw its top four teams each year into the Champions Hockey League, playing against teams from Russia’s KHL and the Finnish and Czech domestic leagues, along with the best teams from the other top European leagues. The CHL has had its struggles and has actually been suspended for the 2009-’10 season, but the injection of four NHL teams into it each year would be all it would

need to get back on its feet. And taking one more page out of soccer’s book, throw in some international friendlies. The U.S.Canada rivalry is peaking, but who knows when the squads will meet again. Even without tournament implications, the thought of one or two U.S.-Canada games a year with both teams playing their best players is mouth-watering. Clearly, hockey in the United States is at its best when played at the international level, and anyone who watched the Olympics cannot argue with that. This sport is desperate for a popular resurgence, and one tournament every four years cannot do that. Making hockey an international sport and allowing fans in the United States to watch the best of the best play for their country against the likes of Canada, Russia, Sweden and Finland on a regular basis is the only way for this sport to flourish. Chances of all this happening? Not good. But Bettman and the league have to at least start somewhere on the international level in the near future if they have any hope for their sport, and the sooner the better. Should hockey put more emphasis on international tournaments or stick with the NHL? E-mail Scott at kellogg2@wisc.edu.