Housing Issue 2021 by The Daily Cardinal

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Thursday, October, 2020

THE HOUSING ISSUE

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Housing Issue 2021

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The hectic hunt for housing in Madison By Amelia Zollner STAFF WRITER

Freshman Elliot Seals signed a lease on Oct. 20 but won’t be moving in until Aug. 18, almost 10 months later. He’s not the only one who signed his lease this early — just under two months after move-in week, students are already signing leases and preparing for the start of next year. Signing leases early is simply part of Madison’s culture, students say, though many have questioned why this is the case. Alongside Seals, freshman Rachel Delmar also signed a lease at the end of October after hearing about Madison’s early leasing period. “I was very pressured to sign early,” Delmar said. “I was told by almost everyone that if I didn’t sign a lease, I would be living somewhere far from campus or in the dorms.” In addition to signing leases early, many students have reported overpaying for their apartments. “I was not trying to pay the price I am for my apartment next year, but it seems like the average price is much higher than I expected it to be,” Seals noted. “I’m paying about $200 more a month than I

wanted to.” While it might be easy to assume that these trends in housing are new and based on Madison’s increasing student population, UW-Madison alumni have asserted that this isn’t the case — the hunt for housing in Madison has always been a demanding process. According to UW-Madison alum Kory Seymour, who graduated in 2015, students have always had to start searching for apartments early on in the year. “Luckily, I knew it was important to jump on it right away, so we pretty much started looking for next year’s place right after move-in,” Seymour said. Pricing, however, hasn’t always been as high as it is. As UW-Madison alum Michael Juley, who graduated in 1973, described, there were no modern highrises during his time at UW-Madison. He shared a onebedroom apartment with two other people, resulting in somewhat of a cramped situation. Despite this, he still paid the average cost of housing in Madison, a number that doesn’t hold a flame to today’s cost even when accounting for inflation. “For my junior and senior

years, it was $60 per person per month,” Juley said. “That was probably the average cost for housing from 1971-‘73.” While past students seemed to be more used to Madison’s unusual rent cycle, current students have spoken up about the timing. For these students, signing a lease in October seems especially early due to U W- M a d i s o n’s late move-in week, which spanned from the end of August to the beginning of September this year, 2021. “I don’t understand why it is like that here and it is very frustrating, especially for freshmen who just got here and are still trying to find their community and real friends,” Delmar said. “It’s very stressful to

“While signing COURTESY OF HOTELRED

HotelRED to be converted to mixed-use housing for commericial use and residents. be thinking about where you are living a year before.” Unless citywide change happens, it looks like Madison’s cycle of leasing early is doomed to continue.

the lease, my future landlord told us that the rush comes sooner and sooner every year,” Seals said. “This year all of their availability filled up within two days.”

Grace Coffee facing fire By Ellie Bourdo STAFF WRITER

violations, the inspector notifies the supervisor for additional support.” The State Street location had 20 violations as of Sept. 3, the most out of all the businesses surveyed. Violations recorded included contamination of “a bag of granulated sugar visibly contaminated by a leaking wastewater drain [from the upstairs kitchen hand washing sink],” as well as a priority violation of “no certified food protection manager for the establishment.”

tions and one remaining priority violation after a reinspection on Oct. 22. “We have worked very closely with the Dane county health department, and all stores are cleared, no violations,” Grace Coffee Co. told The Daily Cardinal. “We’ve hired a sanitation manager who will keep all Grace locations in the best shape! We’re making a lot of changes to the day-to-day operations as well and [implementing] extensive training

Grace Coffee Company, with five current locations and plans for expansion, has recently been found with numerous health code violations at each location. Both the State Street and East Washington Avenue locations of Grace Coffee received the two most health violations out of the 564 restaurants and retail food locations that were reviewed by the Public Health of Madison and Dane County (PHMDC) this year. The East Washington Avenue location, with 19 violations, was also found to have the most priority violations (11), making it a CDC Risk Factor as of Sept. 28, 2021. Priority violations must be corrected immediately, as they are likely to cause foodCOURTESY OF IRENA CLARKOWSKI borne illnesses. Grace coffee received two most health violations of 564 businesses. “PHMDC conducts unannounced inspecAfter reinspection of with both front of tions to verify compli- the State Street location house and back of house ance with priority (CDC on Oct. 25, there were employees.” risk factor) and other still three unresolved “Having 10 or more good retail practice vio- violations and one unre- priority violations, or 15 lations,” Morgan Finke, solved priority violation. or more total violations, spokesperson for Public These included having is rare, but does happen Health of Madison and no certified food protec- on occasion,” said Finke. Dane County told The tion manager, evidence “In these situations, the Daily Cardinal. “Priority of pests (flies) and “wood health inspector works violations may be direct- shelves in the kitchen, closely with the operaly linked to foodborne and a wood support post tor to gain compliance illnesses; therefore, that are not sealed and and maintain safe food immediate correction is not cleanable.” practices, which is what required. When there are The East Washington happened in this case 10 or more priority viola- Avenue location also had [and] we are satisfied tions or 15 or more total five remaining viola- with the outcome.”

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Housing Issue 2021

Q&A: Parnika Shukla, Housing Equity Director at the Social Justice Hub By Madeleine Afonso STAFF WRITER

Parnika Shukla believes that housing equals stability. As the director of the Housing Equity Team, a relatively new group within the Social Justice Hub at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, she gets the opportunity to advocate for this stability in the Madison community firsthand. The team was founded in the spring of 2021 and aims to increase awareness about housing inequality in Madison and the greater Dane County area. By hosting volunteer opportunities centered around homelessness with community organization partnerships, members are exposed to and able to directly help and serve the community. The team works with organizations like Porchlight and the First United Methodist Church, packing hygiene bags, working at food pantries and giving out free breakfasts. Shukla, a senior studying biology and Spanish, is involved on campus as a WISCIENCE Research peer leader, a Wisconsin Waale A Capella singer and an undergraduate researcher at the Wisconsin Institute for Medical Research. She hopes to continue on to medical school after graduation. This conversation has been edited for clarity and brevity. How did you first become involved in work revolving around housing inequality and homelessness? As a pre-med student, I was looking for health-related volunteering opportunities around Madison, and I came across a COVID-19 health assessment volunteer with a Porchlight emergency shelter. As volunteers, we would ask every guest who’s coming in what their symptoms were and take their temperature. Although it seems monotonous, it was great because we actually got to talk to people and hear their stories and their daily struggles. That’s what really got me interested more in homelessness and housing equity, I suppose. Why do you believe it is important to advocate for and support those affected by homelessness? Homelessness doesn’t just mean not having a house, it comes with so many other things like not having a job, losing self-confidence, losing connections with people, not having access to health care, all these things. They’re a vulnerable population in society, and they don’t necessarily have the resources they need. It’s important for people who do have the privilege of housing to stand up for those who don’t have those same privileges. And I think it means a lot to them as well. What keeps you coming back

“Homelessness doesn’t just mean not having a house, it comes with so many other things...”

Parnika Shukla

and continuing to serve the greater community? Definitely the people. Everyone involved, not just the people who are coming and being served, but also the people who help

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COURTESY OF PARNIKA SHULKA

Parnika Shulka talks about her experiences at Madison volunteering with the homeless and how that affected her goals in life. serve as well. Karen Andro who works at First United Methodist Church does a lot of outreach with the homeless population. She’s an angel and has a great connection with the homeless community in Madison. There’s also the population that we help to serve; it’s just really fun hearing what they have to say. It’s not always dark and sad. Obviously, there’s a lot of sad stories involved, but sometimes we’ll joke around and they’ll tell me how work was. So it’s very friendly in a way and I really enjoy that. Why are you passionate about serving the homeless population and addressing housing inequity? I want to not just work in a big hospital, but also in a clinic where I can work with either rural or vulnerable populations. This is one way for me to get more exposure to that and reinforce that that’s something I want to do. It’s something that I enjoy doing and can get more first-hand experience and realize that this is important, and it’s a calling for me. Why is housing equity important for the Madison community? It’s an important issue because as I mentioned earlier, housing is what gives you stability; it gives you a place to sleep at night and a place to keep your things safe. It’s a place for you to connect with friends and family and that’s not something a lot of people get to do. Housing equals stability is the simple way to put it.

How would volunteering and

“Housing equals stability is the simple way to put it.”

Parnika Shukla

being exposed to different parts of greater Madison benefit the average student here at UW? My first time volunteering off campus, I remember leaving and seeing all these houses and neighborhoods — it felt like a whole different world. We’re in a bubble and I was so mind boggled by the contrast between on and off campus. I think students should take the time to volunteer at least a couple times off campus because then you really realize that this is home for a lot of people. It’s not where we study. What’s great about Madison is that there is a huge community service component to the school. UW-Madison is also a research powerhouse. I think that research and volunteering are two things that if you are a UW-Madison student, you should definitely try to get involved in. Serving the community that you’re a part of, even if it’s temporary, feels like a duty for me and if other

people got exposed to it, they might feel the same. Being involved so heavily in this sphere, you must have some fond memories. What has been your favorite event or volunteer opportunity? This past summer we went and helped a man who needed to move and was using a wheelchair, so he wasn’t able to do it on his own. I knew it meant a lot to him that we helped out. He was a really interesting person, and it was nice to work with a group of volunteers and friends as well. It’s your final year as an undergraduate at UW-Madison. What are you excited about the most this year? I’m excited to hang out more with my friends this year, because last year we obviously couldn’t while being quarantined half the time. Maybe even meeting new people that I would have met during COVID-19 times but didn’t get to — just continuing to be a college student and enjoying it as much as I can! How can students get involved with the housing equity team? I would go to the Social Justice Hub website and then go to the Housing Equity tab. There should be my contact information and a spreadsheet linked. We have all the different volunteer opportunities that are going on during the semester, and students can sign up for volunteer opportunities there, show up to events and have a good time.

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Housing Issue 2021

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Hotel Red will convert into mixed-use housing By Bella Criscione STAFF WRITER

Madison’s 48-room, four-story, Hotel Red which closed in March of 2020 is planned to be converted into a 50-unit apartment complex by real estate management company Steve Brown Apartments. Hotel Red, located near Camp Randall, was shut down in March of 2020 due to the COVID-19 pandemic according to Cap Times. The building’s owner, Mike Erikson, planned to renovate the building following its closure in march of 2020, with plans to reopen in fall of 2021, but construction never officially began according to

Cap Times. Erikson put the building up for sale in spring of 2021. Steve Brown Apartments — a real-estate management company that owns 57 properties in the Madison area — went to Madison’s Planning Commission with a proposal to convert Hotel Red into a mixed-use apartment complex. The Planning Commission unanimously passed this proposal on Monday, Oct. 17. The mixed-use complex will have 50 apartment units, one floor of commercial space and a total of 59 parking spaces. The first floor will consist of approximately 3,000 square feet of commercial

space along with a separate residential lobby. Hotel rooms will be converted into apartment units through transforming the existing kitchenettes into more residential kitchens. Margret Watson, the executive officer of Steve Brown Apartments, has stated her hope that the new building will be able to provide additional affordable housing options for Madison residents. “This will be workforce housing, in a beautiful neighborhood, right downtown on the bus line and we really want to help Madison get out of this housing crisis,” Watson said

COURTESY OF HOTELRED

HotelRED to be converted to mixed-use housing for commericial use and residents. Watson also has stated that the project will use sustainable practices and will be a critical source of housing in the Madison com-

munity. Watson hopes to get the remodel started as soon as possible and expects that the project will be done by spring of 2022.

Chancellor Blank meets with newspapers for last address The Daily Cardinal NEWS TEAM

While the announcement of Chancellor Rebecca Blank’s departure from the University of Wisconsin-Madison may have been a surprise to some, she believes that the time was right for her to leave the institution. “There’s only certain things I can do here on Bascom Hill,” Blank explained.

tion as president of Northwestern. “There is a sense that in nine years in one job, that you get a little stale. You get a little jaded about some things,” she stated. “I’ve stayed longer at this job by quite a bit than any other job I’ve had, and it’s been a wonderful place.”

“There is a sense that in nine years in one job, that you get a little stale.”

“There’s only certain things I can do here on Bascom Hill.” Chancellor Rebecca Blank

Chancellor Rebecca Blank

In her last annual address to campus newspapers, Blank spoke with The Daily Cardinal, The Black Voice and The Badger Herald Friday afternoon, noting that several factors played into her decision to accept her next posi-

Blank also described the contentious relationship between the university and the state of Wisconsin, highlighting that UW-Madison is “deeply micromanaged by the state.” In Blank’s soon-to-be nine years at UW-Madison, the university continues to face an uphill battle with the state legislature

regarding cuts in state funding, UW’s aging infrastructure, the removal of statutory tenure protections and its mask mandates. These issues culminated in tensions that, as Blank expressed, simply don’t affect private institutions like Northwestern in the same way. “I think it’s time for someone else to take [the legislature] on. You get tired of fighting the same fights again and again,” Blank said.

“You get tired of fighting the same fights again and again.”

Chancellor Rebecca Blank

Blank also discussed recent concerns expressed by the Teaching Assistants Association (TAA) about the use of UW Housing’s Eagle Heights Apartments as iso-

lation housing for students that test positive for COVID-19, stating that she would feel comfortable residing in the facility. “We have absolutely no evidence there’s any public health danger,” Blank said. “We’ve got it set up in a way that really guards against that.” The chancellor also touched on the removal of Chamberlin Rock, stating that while local media covered the issue in a fair and informed way, national publications were less tactful. This past September, Blank wrote a blog post explaining the university’s decision to remove the rock due to its racist symbolism as well as a letter to The New York Times regarding her disappointment with their coverage of UW-Madison’s decision. “I was more than a little annoyed at this New York Times person who, with no conversation with anyone here on campus, did not recognize the fact that we went through a nine month process,” she said. “We had large conversations; we brought in all the stakeholders; we made a set of decisions that I think, once they were made,

COURTESY OF WILL CIOCI

Rebecca Blank met with three student newspapers, taking questions regarding Northwestern, housing at Eagle Heights, university funding and hopes for next chancellor.

didn’t generate a lot of controversy on campus.” Reflecting back on her tenure, Blank is especially proud of the strides of Bucky’s Tuition Promise, which grants free undergraduate tuition to hundreds of Wisconsin students annually, as well as recordbreaking class sizes and increased diversity on campus. “Changing culture has to happen on the ground,” Blank said, highlighting administrative and campus community efforts such as the TOP support initiative intended to diversify UW-Madison’s faculty that have aided campus climate in her view. “It doesn’t happen fast but I do feel we’ve got the structures in place and we’re having the right conversations.”

“Changing culture has to happen on the ground.”

Chancellor Rebecca Blank

With Blank set to leave UW-Madison this summer, questions remain about her successor. “They get to figure it out on their own,” Blank said about the future of UW-Madison and its leadership. “It’s not my job to give very much advice to my successor.” Ultimately, Blank hopes that candidates for the position bring ideas on how the university goes about addressing issues relating to student life, sustainability on-campus and diversity and inclusion, building on already existing mechanisms and creating new ones. “I would hope that whatever candidates they interview, whether [they ask questions] around student life or students of color, whether it’s around sustainability on campus, that it’s someone who comes with some commitments and some ideas,” Blank said. “The number of things we have going on and the number of issues — don’t throw it all out. There may be changes that a new person will have ideas about, but build on what’s been done. Because there is some foundation.” “We don’t want to start fresh.”

sports Badgers sweep No. 2 Ohio St. Buckeyes Housing Issue 2021

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By Christian Voskuil SPORTS EDITOR

The top-ranked Wisconsin women’s hockey team (10-0) completed a sweep of No. 2 Ohio State (6-2) this weekend at LaBahn Arena in a rematch of last year’s WCHA Conference Championship. It was a battle of the unbeatens in Madison, Wisconsin, as the two top teams in the nation met with the No. 1 ranking on the line. The Badgers finished on top in both affairs, beating the Buckeyes 3-1 on Saturday and 2-1 on Sunday. Both teams came out firing for Saturday’s tilt, combining for 25 shots on goal in the first 20 minutes of play. Each team’s goaltender ended with 12 saves in the first period, but Ohio State’s 13 shots on goal saw them take a 1-0 lead heading into the first break. Head coach Mark Johnson must have delivered a serious intermission speech because Wisconsin took over the rest of the game. Senior captain Grace Bowlby tied up the game less than two minutes into the second period, skating to the top of the circle to the left of the goal and sending a wrist shot goalward. The puck bounced off Buckeye netminder Andrea Braendl’s outstretched left

leg, off Ohio State defenseman Gabby Rosenthal’s skate and into the goal to make it a 1-1 game. The game remained level for most of the second period — despite the Badgers outshooting the Buckeyes 12-4 over the second period of play — until Casey O’Brien tipped a shot from Keandra Nealey between her legs and into the goal, sending Wisconsin into the lead heading into the final 20 minutes of the game. The third period was an even affair for the most part as both teams saw opportunities to add another score to their respective columns. Wisconsin goaltender Kennedy Blair and her defense stood stout, though, holding off the Buckeyes to keep the Badgers ahead going into an Ohio State timeout with just over two minutes remaining. Following the timeout, Ohio State pulled Braendl from the goal in a desperate attempt to tie the game. 77 seconds later and Daryl Watts found herself with the puck with a free lane to the goal. The fifth-year forward launched a shot from the other side of the center line, sealing the game with an empty-net goal for the 3-1 win Game two was just as hotly contested. This time it was the Badgers who

got out in front early, using a Nicole LaMantia first period goal to jump ahead 1-0 midway through the period. LaMantia received the puck from Grace Shirley right off the faceoff and sniped a shot from the point past Braendl’s glove in a move so fast the cameras missed it. Rosenthal knotted up the affair just under three minutes later to send the game into the second period at a goal a piece. The second period went by without any scoring thanks to some stellar stops from both Blair and Braendl. With both goalies and defenses playing spectacularly, the thought was any penalty could end up giving away a game-winning powerplay goal. That thought was right in the front of everybody’s mind when two Ohio State penalties gave the Badgers a golden opportunity with a five-onthree power play. Wisconsin was unable to capitalize, though, keeping the game tied, 1-1, halfway through the period. The Wisconsin power play unit has been possibly the only weakspot for the top-ranked Badgers, converting just seven of their 34 opportunities this year (20.6%), good enough for only 11th in the nation.

SHANE FRUCHTERMAN/UW ATHLETICS

Nicole LaMantia scored the game-winning goal in overtime Sunday to finish off No. 1 Wisconsin's sweep of No. 2 Ohio State The game would remain tied throughout the rest of the third, sending the tilt to overtime. The overtime wouldn’t last long, however, as LaMantia once again found the back of the net to win the game for Wisconsin, extending the Badger win streak to 16 going back to last season. Coach Johnson spoke about the decision to send out LaMantia for the three-on-three overtime period, speaking highly of the senior defenseman. “You’re playing three-on-three pond hockey,” Johnson said after the

game, “Whether you’re a forward or a defensemen it’s just three against three. You’re just looking for an opportunity. They backed up a little bit and Nicole walked in and had a great view of it and it was a great shot. It was a great shot.” A great shot it was indeed, giving the Badgers a 10-0 record for fourth time since 2015. After solidifying their No. 1 ranking, Wisconsin will now set their sights for Minnesota State, traveling to take on the Mavericks in Mankato this Friday at 3 p.m. and Saturday at 2 p.m. Both games can be seen on B1G+.

PHOTO COURTESY OF BOSTON UNIVERSITY ATHLETICS

Who is Marisa Moseley? An in-depth look at Wisconsin women’s basketball’s new head coach By Suvir Grover SPORTS WRITER CAMERON LANE-FLEHINGER

New coach, new matchup: Wisconsin women set to start a new era By Suvir Grover SPORTS WRITER

The Wisconsin women’s basketball team is set to host the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh at 2 p.m. on Oct. 31. Despite the proximity between the two schools, this will be their first ever women’s basketball game, and it’s set to be a good one. From the new head coach entrance for the Badgers, Marisa Moseley, to the incredibly successful 2020-21 season for the Titans, the game will most definitely not disappoint. Coming into the highly anticipated season, Moseley has very high expectations. The former Boston University head coach has hopes to completely turn around a team that had consecutive losing records under previous head coach Jonathon Tsipis. Over the years, Moseley has risen through the ranks of coaching, making her way through different conferences, setting a fire in teams

that were unable to find success before. From being a pivotal part of the transformations of Denver and Minnesota to revolutionizing the Terrier program (Boston University), she has sights to replicate that glory with the Badgers. This starts with this coming opener against UW-Oshkosh. Unlike Madison, Oshkosh had an incredibly successful season last year, coming off a 9-2 overall record, complemented by a 6-2 conference record. The excitement of the coming season is greatly credited to their star-studded senior class, some of which include Abby Kaiser, Nikki Arneson and Leah Porath, to name a few. The Titans will offer a challenge to the Badgers, but nothing that the Red and White can’t handle. Although hard to predict the starting five for the season, with the new coach, some key stars of the team will likely be on the court for the in-state matchup, one of whom

being graduate guard Katie Nelson. Nelson comes to Madison, transferring from Boston, where she played under Moseley for three years. Nelson led the Terriers with her 3-point shooting and incredible basketball IQ, two skills bound to help the Badgers immensely. In terms of returning players, Wisconsin has many that have a lot to offer, from Sydney Hilliard (guard) to Sara Stapleton (guard/forward) to Julie Pospisilova (guard). Not only does the team have three consistent players in the trio, but senior Alex Luehring and junior Tara Stauffacher offered plenty to last year’s team and are bound to do so under Moseley. With that in mind, the matchup between the two schools is going to be a good one. The Badgers need a turnaround, and with the coach, lineup and freshman class that they have this season, they have great potential for a “restart,” with the game this coming Saturday.

Coming off consecutive below-500 seasons, the Wisconsin women’s basketball team has appointed a new head coach, Marisa Moseley. The instatement of Moseley is poised to give the Badgers a greatly needed, ‘fresh’ start, as the head coach brings a great deal of experience to the program. Over the past decade and a half, Moseley has coached teams all over the country, from Denver to Minnesota to Boston, and — most notably — UConn. During her time as assistant coach with the Huskies, she helped orchestrate one of the most successful sports dynasties of all time. With seven Conference Championships and five National Championships, Moseley also coached future Olympians and WNBA players along the way. With Moseley’s coaching experience being an essential pillar to the 2021-22 team, she also offers experience as a Division I student-athlete, another change that will prove helpful to the Badgers. As a student at Boston

University, Moseley played all four years with the women’s basketball team, from 2000 to 2004. By her senior year, she was one of the team’s standout players during their run to the NCAA Tournament, accumulating a 16-14 overall record, snagging the 16th seed in the 2004 Tournament. Although they lost in the first round to powerhouse UConn, the ‘04 Tournament remains the Terriers’ only appearance to date. On another note, Moseley brings graduate guard Katie Nelson to the Badgers. The allPatriot League guard is bound to usher in a new side to the Wisconsin women with her one-of-a-kind 3-point range and basketball IQ. In her three years with Moseley at Boston, the pair revolutionized the Terrier program, gaining conference recognition. With all this in mind, Moseley is set to bring a new outlook for the Badgers. Moseley’s experience is one of the many points that sets her apart from the rest. Under Moseley, the Badgers look to reach new heights, not only for the 2021-22 season but hopefully for years to come.

Life & Style l

Housing Issue 2021

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The effect of Madison living on students By Molly Welsh STAFF WRITER

From Gordons to State Street, Witte to the Hub, the way in which students view the University of WisconsinMadison is greatly impacted by the place in which they live. A naive freshman immediately feels overwhelmed by the immensity of this institution as they are swarmed by thousands of students walking from place to place. The community that is created by freshmen dorms allows for these intimidated individuals to make a large campus feel a little bit smaller. The walk to State Street for the residents of the Southeast dorms seems like a quick trip, but for those cursed with the Lakeshore

dorms, this simple walk turns into a treacherous hike. During the winter especially, the study rooms within these residence halls become a lot more appealing, rather than making the trek to Memorial Union in the frigid weather. As sophomore year approaches, UW-Madison students tend to either live on Langdon as they join Greek life, or live in one of the many apartment complexes scattered throughout and around campus. Due to the hefty cost of living in Madison, it can be difficult to find a reasonably priced living situation, but not impossible. It is financially smarter to choose a cheaper place to live, rather than one of the popular apartment complexes, as a

broke college student would benefit from saving money for other purposes. The locations of some buildings, like that of Waterfront and the James, tend to be ideal in comparison to that of places near Regent Street or Union South. However, there are still complexes that are monetarily reasonable, like that of the Lumen House or simply renting a home, within walking distance to all the commotion in Madison. The distance to State Street — the center of food and activities — seems to be the deciding factor in what makes the location of a living space superior to another. Where one lives certainly affects the way in which their everyday

life flows. The transition into junior year continues this trend of choosing to be closer to the action, rather than an apartment or house that will be closer to academic buildings, as they are very spread out, making it difficult to pinpoint a location which would be convenient for a walk to class. The center of campus becomes a home of sorts, as hours are spent studying at Memorial Union, the Historical Society or College Library. As senior year finally rolls around, many students live in the apartment buildings, like the Hub, or on Mifflin Street. These two popular spots are essentially passed down through friends, causing incoming freshmen to

create this stereotypical path of where one typically lives each year. As a freshman, the Capitol building seems lightyears away and needs a day of planning or a reservation in order to get new students to make the journey. However, to upperclassmen, the Capitol is geographically closer, so it is visited more frequently. These trips to the Capitol may not be for political reasons, but the appealing restaurants around this area tend to attract these individuals. Simple observations like this creates students wellversed in the layout of the university throughout their years in college.

Take it from a pro: a junior’s advice on housing By Alexa Rose STAFF WRITER

JEFF MILLER/UW-MADISON

The dome of the Wisconsin State Capitol with balconies of the Hub Madison show on the right.

Helpful resources for finding housing By Hina Suzuki STAFF WRITER

When entering the University of WisconsinMadison, most freshmen do not have to be concerned about housing, since they will live in the dorms. But what about when you become a sophomore? Are you going to stay in your dorm, or are you going to live off-campus? Figuring out where to live for the next school year is a big concern for many college students, and it can be stressful and overwhelming. Academics and social aspects are primary focuses in college, however, your living arrangement plays a crucial role in your overall experience as well. Where you decide to live will be the place you are going back to after a long night of studying at the library, or hours of partying. Your home should be a place where you can relax, feel safe and be productive. The decision of your living arrangement requires many thoughts, including weighing the advantages

and disadvantages of each option. Some of the things you need to consider are affordability, utilities, location, safety and choice of roommates. Ultimately, you have to decide which aspects are most important to you and which you are willing to sacrifice. That being said, I have found some helpful resources during the process of figuring out my living situation. Here are some helpful resources you can use to find the right place for you. University Housing (https://www.housing.wisc. edu) Are you interested in living on campus? Options for undergraduates include dorms, focused learning communities and affinity communities. This website provides you with all the information you need about on-campus housing. Campus Area Housing (https://campusareahousing. wisc.edu/) This website is for stu-

dents who are transitioning out of the dorms and need help with their search. Not only do they give you a list of resources and the active housing list, but they also give you a place to find roommates and videos on renter education. If you don’t know where to start, this website is for you. Apartments.com If you are interested in living off-campus, this next website is the perfect tool. By specifying your preferred location, budget and other preferences, this website will give you a list of apartments you may want to consider. Madison Apartment Living (https://www.madisonapartmentliving.com/ search.j?) This website is similar to Apartments.com, however, it was made specifically for the Madison area. By using the map on the website, you will find apartments located around your preferred location.

With the chaos that comes with the beginning of a new school year, students need time to readjust to life in college as we catch up with old friends, set new intentions for the year ahead and get back into the swing of things. Yet, right as we get comfortable, we are hit with the reality that it’s time to think about our next move: it is the infamous race for housing at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. For many, this is a stressful time of year, as the uncertainty of it all can be overwhelming. This is especially true for younger students who are still getting their bearings on campus. As a freshman, I genuinely had no idea where to even start when it came to housing, and everyone around me was in the same boat. I began by asking around,

reaching out to older students and getting advice wherever I could. It is undeniably hard to think long-term, as planning for the year ahead so early on is bound to bring up some uncertainty. What kind of person will you be, and who are the people you are going to want to surround yourself with? As a freshman, people were beginning to sign leases left and right, and I began to feel pressure. I didn’t want to miss out. Yet, it was important for me to spend the appropriate amount of time necessary to figure out who it was that I truly wanted to live with. This was one of the smartest decisions I could have ever made, and it is ultimately my biggest piece of advice for anyone overwhelmed by the process. Having people to go through it with makes it so much easier.

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t be as timely as possible, but it can be really easy to lose sight of what is most important not where you are, but who you are surrounding yourself with. I go into every year with this mentality, and I have found that it has truly grounded me in that I know wherever I end up, it is with the people who I will not only consider to be my roommates, but also my family. If I could say one thing to my freshman year self, it would be to take the time to do extra research on your options but also keep an open mind for what is out there, as you might stumble across the perfect place when you least expect it. If you have yet to figure out your next move, don’t worry, because with the right people by your side it will all come together with time.

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Housing can be found all across campus, including above local businesses on State Street.

Life & Style Housing horror stories: Madison edition dailycardinal.com

By Kodie Engst STAFF WRITER

Picture this: you’re walking into your dorm building as a bright-eyed freshman, excited to acclimate yourself to living away from home and learning to be an adult. What you don’t know is that you won’t be living in your building alone. And no, I don’t mean with your roommate. I mean with bats. If you think this sounds unrealistic, I have some unfortunate news for you. Paige Hovanes, a sophomore who lived in Witte last year, reported that there were multiple instances of real life bats flying around inside the building. “Friends of mine who moved in early said that one of them attacked an RA,” Hovanes continued. While I could find no official statements from the university to corroborate this story, if it is true, it’s insane; and if it isn’t, it stands as a folk tale in a great tradition of spooking new students about the buildings they live in. However, bats aren’t the only things to cause problems in on-campus housing. The terrifying lack of communication with students about how to get things done and why they are happening is a horror story within itself. Alicia Gee, a sophomore who lived in Sellery last year, explained why her and her roommate decided to switch dorm halls, “The $300 discount for construction was not worth having our room shake constantly and be scared of the elevator breaking down and water being shut off for days at a time.” When it came time for her and her roommate, Jayden, to move to Waters, she said that the university never explained to them the process of moving rooms. “The communication was kind of weird, because no one ever told us: Okay, here’s what’ll happen. They just said, ‘Move!’” Gee explained, echoing a similar sentiment I’ve heard from others about dealing with issues with on-campus housing. Another sophomore, Lucy Morrison, told me about the discovery her roommate made upon her move back in after winter break, “Edyth [her room-

Housing Issue 2021

mate] found mildew on our carpet after coming back from winter break. I have no idea how long that leak had sat there on our carpet, but both of us were gone the full two months..” When cleaning it up on their own had done nothing for the look, dampness or the smell, Edyth made the decision to call the maintenance department number, as directed on the welcome pamphlet they’d both been given at fall move-in. “It took a couple of days before anyone came. Edyth had called instead of filing a maintenance report online — the preferred method of handling maintenance needs. It took a couple days to figure that out because they did not help over the phone,” Morrison recounted, noting that the smell never fully went away, and it did start leaking again at some point during the spring semester. If you think that moving off campus will help you escape these issues, I regret to inform you that it definitely won’t. Junior Sam Stanek talked with me about the sheer difficulty of finding affordable, livable housing in Madison. He walked me through how he and his friends were scrambling to locate an apartment that ticked all of the necessary boxes, “As it got later and later, we realized that to find a place we liked, we were either going to have to go up in price range or go outside of our desired location.” As they struggled to find a place to have a roof over their heads, they knew it was time to make a decision, even if it wasn’t ideal. His words of advice to students looking to go off of campus? “Make sure to get the housing early, so people don’t end up like us.” Finding housing isn’t the end of problems to be encountered off campus, though. Hovanes, who moved off-campus for her sophomore year (probably hoping to escape the bats), spoke about one of the scariest parts of her new location — maintenance men. “They like to just walk into the apartment whenever we put in a request, no knocking,” Hovanes said. While this practice is scary for a variety of reasons — not the least of which is having strang-

ers in your home without announcement — it is also deeply problematic for her roommates. “Two of my roommates are Muslim, and they need to know when men will be around.” Off-campus living was made especially difficult last year, with COVID restrictions made by both the university and the county health department. One junior who lived in sorority housing last year, shared with me some of the biggest struggles the pandemic introduced for those who live in communal living situations, as dictated by Madison and Dane County’s health department. With 50 girls living in one house, the rules surrounding quarantine and COVID safety were confusing and frustrating. At one point, when the floor she lived on in the sorority house had gone on lockdown, she and other girls on that floor had been confined to their rooms. Later in the year, if any of the 50 girls in the house tested positive, each and every one of their “Badger Badges” would turn red, restricting them from attending their in-person classes or going into any campus buildings. “Throughout the year, we went back and forth with the Dane County Health Department as they kept trying to put us in what seemed like an endless lockdown,” She shared, highlighting the inconsistency across the close-contact rules the university had set in place for the Badger Badges last school year. Frustrations with housing seems to be all-encompassing and widespread in Madison. Whether on or off campus, a myriad of scary phenomena permeate living situations everywhere. So where does this leave us? Hopeless? Destined to live through our own housing horror stories? I don’t think so. And neither does she, who told me, “The silver lining was that it was all such a mess that we all got super close through trying to navigate the chaos of the year together.” Having friends that you can lean on makes these situations all the more bearable. The takeaway from these situations shouldn’t be to anticipate the worst, but instead to build your support system and rely on them when you need it.

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STUDYING FOR THE OWLS

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BY BRENNA REA

PUMPKINS

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Housing Issue 2021

Snapper’s Row: Creative Living Spaces

PHOTO BY DRAKE WHITE-BERGEY

PHOTO BY KALLI ANDERSON

A den in Dejope Residence Hall is converted into a 4-person dorm.

Carved pumpkins lined up on the porch of a Mifflin Street house.

PHOTO BY IRENA CLARKOWSKI

IRENA CLARKOWSKI

This basement turned movie theater on Regent Street is the perfect place to watch scary movies in October.

Serendipity Stage's windowsill is lined with stencils from past tattoos she gave to people in her studio apartment.

PHOTO BY ZILING GUO

PHOTO BY IRENA CLARKOWSKI

A graduate student's apartment off campus.

An apartment at Grand Central took advantage of a poster sale at Union South last September.

science Midterm Szn: Creating Fear Factor: The dailycardinal.com

Housing Issue 2021

Biology of Fear

a good study space By Sophie Baggs

By Julia Wiessing

STAFF WRITER

With midterm season finally here, creating a good study space is an essential part of your exam prep. While there are many different ways to create a productive and positive work environment, here are a few recommendations: Pick a space that you feel comfortable in. You want to make sure that you place yourself somewhere where you feel relaxed — though not so relaxed that you fall asleep. This is imperative because you’ll be more productive if your body is at ease, though we know that can be hard to accomplish with midterms on the horizon. Hide all distractions. Putting your phone or other known distractions in another room or out of arm’s reach can keep them out of sight and out of mind. This will help you focus solely on studying. Lighting. Making sure you are surrounded by either natural light or bright artificial light will help not only with your energy, but your mood. It is scientifically proven that light directly affects mood, especially in these cold and dark times, so studying in a bright environment is crucial for success. Maybe also consider a lava lamp, just for morale. Background noise. This tip is very much up to personal preference. Try studying while listening to different types of music, ambient noise or even silence. See which environment helps you focus the most. If you do try music, try instrumental or nonlyrical music, or even bangers in a language you don’t understand, to stay focused. Presence of others. Everyone studies differently. Determining whether you work better alone or in a group setting is crucial to creating a good study space.

Witches, ghosts and ghouls of all kinds will be prowling the streets of Madison this Halloween in a celebration of spookiness. Whether you’re planning to dress as a fairy princess or spend the night watching horror movies, we can all expect to be spooked in one way or another. But what exactly is fear? When we feel that spike of terror, what’s happening to our bodies? Are humans the only ones that feel fear? The definition of fear is contested, but for our purposes, fear is a state of being influenced by both our surroundings and our response to them. For example, in a haunted house, our state of fear is influenced by both the thing that scares us (the evil clown popping up from behind the wall) and our reaction, which can include fight (punching the clown in the face), flight (running out of this creepy haunted house) and freeze (you are now stuck in the haunted house forever). An important fear factor is what parts of our brain are processing the experience. The difference between feeling truly terrified and getting a rush of fear from a horror movie has to do with our “thinking” brain and “feeling” brain. Fear is first processed by the amygdala, an almond-sized region in your brain that starts sending signals to the rest of your brain and body. The amygdala also releases stress hormones and begins preparing for a defensive response. The amygdala is connected to the hippocampus, which, in combination with the prefrontal cortex, processes the situation and greatly influences your fear response. For example, there’s

BRENNA REA/ STAFF ARTIST

Studying might be hard, but it can also be cute. If you know that you are going to get distracted by wanting to socialize with others, then force yourself to study solo. This isolation may be boring, but in the long run it will save you time. If you need to mirror others or consult people on topics you’re unsure of, find a group! Switch things up. Once you’ve found how to create a good study routine for yourself, apply it to different places. Setting up in different locations or at different times of the day can add to your productivity levels since your brain won’t think of studying as such a monotonous task. Our favourite study spots include the greenhouse in Birge Hall and the cozy couches in Lathrop!

Mindset. Approaching studying with a positive mindset is arguably the most important part of creating a good study space. A negative view of studying will make your brain less willing to study (duh). Accepting that studying is an inevitable and necessary part of being a student will allow for you to stop pushing it off and get things done! If that doesn’t work, consider letting yourself romanticize your studying a little — get cute pens or a pretty notebook. Live the dark academia dream! We hope that these tips help you this midterm season and beyond. Good luck and keep on studying!

a difference between seeing a clown at a haunted house and seeing a birthday clown. In the circumstances of the haunted house, the hippocampus and the prefrontal cortex register the situation as dangerous, and you’ll likely feel the effects of fear. In the case of a birthday clown, the hippocampus and the prefrontal campus dampen your fear response, making sure you don’t run away from (or tackle) the birthday clown, unless it’s a murderous terrifying horror birthday clown. Humans are not unique in the experience of fear. Herbivores living on the savannah show heightened fear responses during the full moon. This is an adaptation to the fact that lions have greater visibility on bright nights, giving them an advantage when stalking prey across the grasslands. Or maybe werewolves. We know that mammals and vertebrates feel fear, but what about bugs? There isn’t a clear answer. There’s no reason bugs and invertebrates don’t, but our understanding of their emotions is fuzzy. Because these creatures are built so differently than us, we often struggle to decipher their responses. It is very funny, however, to imagine a terrified spider running away from a clown. Scuttle! Scuttle away from the clown, ye eightlegged fiend. Feeling fear can sometimes make us upset — it’s not always a fun feeling to have. But, just like all negative emotions, fear exists in our bodies to serve a purpose. It keeps us safe. So, the next time you see a sock that looks a little too much like a giant rat and jump out of your skin, thank your amygdala and its buddies — they’re doing you a service.

I just think they’re neat: Different types of bats! By Julia Gozdziewski STAFF WRITER

Spooky season, with all its accoutrements, is officially upon us. Carved pumpkins, skeletons, black cats … and bats. With their beady eyes, scissored fang-like teeth and nocturnal habits, it’s of little wonder that this mysterious creature has become associated with our most terrorinducing holiday. The origin of bats’ less-thanstellar reputation is often traced to an ancient annual Celtic harvest festival, Samhain, which marks the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter. During Samhain, celebrants lit bonfires to appease demons while wearing elaborate costumes that were believed to offer protection from feared spirits. The warmth of these bonfires attracted bugs, and the prospect of a meal thus attracted bats, which the villagers came to believe embodied the spirits of the dead. The spooky connotations of bats’ reputation as creatures to be

feared and avoided was cemented in 1897 by Bram Stoker’s novel “Dracula,” which featured evil vampires who were able to turn into bats at will. Thus, the image of bats as blood-sucking vampires became entrenched in our society — leading the flying mammal to be consistently listed as one of humans’ most feared animals alongside other misunderstood horrors such as spiders, mice and snakes. Bats play a crucial role in our ecosystem, and are hardly the monsters that Stoker and other anti-bat hooligans made them out to be. Bats act as essential pest control agents. If you had a friend who went through your house eating all the annoying flies, you wouldn’t spurn him! In the corn industry alone, bats munch on enough bugs to save farmers an estimated $1 billion dollars annually — money that would otherwise need to be spent on pesticide sprays and other preventative crop damage measures. For the agricultural industry as a whole, farmers

ANN FROSCHAUER/ COURTESY OF WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

This Little Brown Bat is a Sconnie just like you. have bats to thank for savings of more than $3 billion every year. It’s not just farmers who should be thanking the bats. If you’ve ever enjoyed a peach, banana, avocado or mango, know that it is bats who provide critical pollination services for our favorite fruits — over 300 of them, to be exact! The next

time family and friends raise their margarita glasses to give a toast, it would serve well to slip in an extension of gratitude towards our chiropterid friends, giving them the recognition they deserve as the only pollinator of the agave plant, whose juice is a key ingredient in tequila. Seed dispersal is another criti-

cal role that this spooky creature takes on. Seeds for plants who produce foodstuffs such as nuts, figs and cacao are able to spread to recently cleared rainforests and other areas largely due to the efforts of our nocturnal compatriots. In fact, as much as 95% of seed dispersal has been accredited to fruit-eating bats. As the essential role of bats in our ecosystem has been increasingly illuminated, scientists and other experts have called for bats’ reputation as blood-sucking menances to be replaced with one that is far more appreciative of their good deeds for humankind. Indeed, scientists have increasingly referred to bats as the most misunderstood creature. Whether your next bat sighting is in Halloween decorations or — gasp! — in real life (lucky you), our seed-dispersing, pollinating friends would likely appreciate if this is the reputation that their next appearance conjures. Consider screaming “thank you!” into the night — the bats will hear it.

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Housing Issue 2021

Movie Review

Villeneuve’s ‘Dune’ is beautiful and picturesque, but not much else

By Alisyn Amant STAFF WRITER

Denis Villeneuve released “Dune” (2021) into a dizzying sandstorm of expectations. The star-studded cast promised recognizable, idolized personalities, such as Timotheé Chalamet and Zendaya. Author Frank Herbert established the franchise decades ago and posthumously left Villeneuve a dedicated, literary fanbase. Commentators, and the director himself, urged audiences to see the film in theatres, lest its cinematic artistry go unappreciated. Unfortunately, that sandstorm of anticipation pummels “Dune,” leaving an underwhelming blockbuster in its wake. Set in 10191 AD, Dune follows Paul Atreides (Timotheé Chalamet), the only son of Duke Leto (Oscar Issac) and Lady Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson). The family rules Caladan — an ocean planet — until the Emperor reassigns them to Arrakis, a harsh desert planet. On Arrakis, “spice,” a highly coveted druglike substance that enhances human capabilities and powers interstellar space travel, is harvested. Political turmoil ensues, and Paul finds himself thrust into a bloody war. Villeneuve successfully

translates the otherworldliness of Caladan, Arrakis and galactic society through a consistent aesthetic vision. Close shots of vibrating sands and shots of the arid landscape, an ocean of dunes, envelop viewers in the vast loneliness Paul feels, dropped into unfamiliar, dangerous terrain. Bursts of burnt oranges and yellows make one feel the oppressive nature of a cruel heat, a heat that mechanically recycles one’s tears and sweat to stay alive. But while “Dune” excels in the picturesque, it makes sacrifices in the narrative. The story is a complicated one, requiring extensive world-building and explanations for intricate plot points. Unfortunately, unstable screenwriting is one of “Dune’s” biggest disappointments. While audiences are supposed to feel the gravity of the crisis threatening the Atreides trio, gaps in effective dialogue ruin delicate, high-stakes moments. When Paul and Lady Jessica narrowly escape Harkonnen henchmen by diving headlong into a dangerous sandstorm, they are thrown around in their “ornithopter,” an aircraft that flies by flapping its wings, for a nail-biting few minutes. Making it out alive, Paul turns to Lady Jessica with a casual, “You

CREATIVE COMMONS

Official “Dune“ release poster featuring its star-studded cast: Timothee Chalamet, Zendaya, Oscar Issac, Rebecca Ferguson, Jason Mamoa, Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem and Sharon Duncan good?” Numerous other lapses in dialogue occur throughout the film. Though nitpicky, these moments jarringly contrast the serious tone Villeneuve attempts to adopt. Additionally, despite its

two-and-a-half-hour runtime, audiences are given little time to engage with or make sympathetic connections to consequential characters. Though Zendaya, who plays Chani, was prominently featured in nearly every

bit of marketing material for the film, she only appears for the last fifteen minutes. Zendaya speaks roughly thirty lines, mostly as an omnipotent, mysterious voice fit for Paul’s prophetic visions and dreams. One feels no attachment or brotherly bond to Gurney Halleck ( Josh Brolin) and Duncan Idaho (Jason Mamoa) as one might in the novels, because Brolin and Momoa deliver standard, melodramatic warnings of danger to Paul, and then they are whisked off to some military or diplomatic business. Had the film’s allotted time been used more effectively, this discrepancy might have been wrangled back in, but it ultimately fails to pace itself. If the second part of “Dune” is produced, as Villeneuve intends, many of the first installment’s overarching issues may be resolved. The film’s success at the box office and on HBOMax hints at a future where Chalament’s Paul Atreides lives on. The prospect is certainly exciting, giving audiences another chance to burrow themselves into the universe of a science fiction masterpiece. However, “Dune’s” reliance on a continuation speaks to the underwhelming qualities of its present narrative stage, no matter how beautifully it is packaged.

Movie Comeback

Now is the perfect time to rewatch ‘The Parent Trap’ By Hope Karnopp PODCAST DIRECTOR

Fall seems like the perfect time to cozy up and watch a comforting, nostalgic movie from your childhood. “The Parent Trap” was always one of those movies, and I think it has been for a lot of people who fall in that weird age gap between Millennials and Gen Z. For those unfamiliar with the classic Disney film, it’s based around two identical twins, Annie and Hallie, both played by Lindsay Lohan, who are separated shortly after they are born and raised on different continents. Years later they attend the same summer camp and form a close bond. Together they decide to switch places to meet their other parent for the first time and try to get them to fall back in love. Many people are rediscovering the movie, especially as trends from the 1990s come back. The movie has that decade written all over it. Even if I’m not a true 90s baby, it feels good to rewatch the movie and be transported back to my childhood. Back to a time when I also was in camp and cutting pictures out of magazines. Looking back, 90s fashion

seems to be one of the most iconic parts of the movie. TikTok has even recently taken notice of the classic looks in the film, particularly now that hair clips and oversized shirts are back in style. Chessy especially has been revived as a style icon for her casual California outfits. Listening to the soundtrack brings back buckets of nostalgia too. I’m sure I associate a lot of the songs with the movie, but some of them I listened to with my dad way before I ever watched it. “Here Comes the Sun” and “Do You Believe in Magic” were staples around my household. I always loved the scene where Annie sees London for the first time as “There She Goes” by the La’s plays in the background. When I rediscovered that song a while back, memories of watching “The Parent Trap” immediately came flooding back. People in the Millenial/ Gen Z cusp are now reassessing this movie that they grew up with. The movie’s “villain” is Meredith, a woman who almost messes up the twins’ plans by trying to marry their father for his money. Even as a kid, I understood that she was the villain in the story. Recently, however, some on

“PARENT TRAP” (1998) RELEASE POSTER/WALT DISNEY PICTURES

The official 1998 “Parent Trap“ movie release poster featuring Annie James & Hallie Parker (Lindsay Lohan), Dennis Quaid (Nicolas Parker) and Elizabeth James (Natasha Richardson). A perfect, nostalic movie. TikTok have declared their solidarity with Meredith. Furthermore, media outlets picked up on this shift toward supporting Meredith Blake. Some original viewers are now the same age as Meredith, 26, and envy her plans to marry rich, ship two annoying pre-teens off to

boarding school and live a life of luxury on a vineyard. I’m glad that these realizations have been gaining popularity on social media. “The Parent Trap” deserves more attention even two decades later, whether it’s reassessing certain characters or developing fashion inspiration.

I highly recommend rewatching “The Parent Trap” during fall if it was one of your favorites as a kid. It’s the perfect time to feel all the sentimental feelings. Geuniely it’s the perfect time to rewatch the movie. Just, maybe, close your eyes during the ear-piercing scene.

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Witte ‘Shower Shitter’ inspires copycat attacks By Nick Rawling ALMANAC EDITOR

GRAPHIC BY GILLIAN RAWLING

Those who were unfortunate enough to live in Witte Residence Hall during the 2019-2020 school year no doubt still have severe trauma from memories of the “Witte poop bandit.” The criminal was able to get away with defecating in handfuls of Witte showers until a vigilante martyr hero was able to photograph him in the act, “redanused” if you will, and post the picture throughout Witte. For his brave deed, he was kicked out of student housing for “violating the privacy” of the shower shitter. Truly a clown world. After the sham, unjust cancellation of the exemplar student-turned-detective, the only thing standing between

13 Questions I have for Fresh Market Foods

the bandit and Witte’s showers was Chancellor Rebecca Blank. For some time, the threat of physical violence at the hands of Becky kept residence-hall washrooms safe. But now that Willie the Wildcat is beating the breaks off those cheeks 24/7, a rash of copycat attacks has broken out in Witte, and in all other UW dorms as well. “This is getting completely out of control,” said Sellery R.A. Grobert L. Meloy. “There’s a mud-pie in literally every single one of the mens’ showers, and in half of the womens’ showers too. They’re even starting to target the urinals.” All 21 of Wisconsin’s residence halls have reported at least one attack from the legion

of shower shitters over the last two weeks, with Southeast dorms being hit the hardest. R.A.s say it’s clear these attacks are coordinated, as each is accompanied by a ransomstyle note which reads “eat shit, fuck you.” It’s unclear why these copycat attacks are taking place, or what, if anything, the poop bandits want. Experts speculate that the cause of the shit storm may simply be “spooky SZN.” What is clear is that as long as Chancellor Blank is busy getting busy with Willie the Wildcat and local police are busy shooting each other and doing on-campus car chases, there is no end in sight to these attacks.

Man dismayed after learning that horror movie isn’t based on actual murder

IMAGE COURTESY OF FRESHMADISONMARKET.COM

By Sammie Johnson ALMANAC EDITOR

1. Why are your bananas always green and avocados always brown? They’re literally in the same section. At least put them on different ends of the grocery store to distract patrons.

7. Could you please put in bathrooms? A trip to Fresh can take anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours. 8. Why does your hot food look kind of gross but actually isn’t bad at all?

2. Why do you have a whole refrigerated area JUST for hummus? That’s super weird.

9. Since when do you have a deli section?

3. Why are your lines either extremely long or very short?

11. Why do you never have 2-liter Fresca? We need a good chaser Fresh!

4. Why are you the only grocery store within a three-mile radius of campus? Yes, I know there’s Trader Joes but I prefer to limit my journeys past Camp Randall to game days only.

12. Why is it so peaceful in the morning but literally the worst place to be at 4-5 p.m.?

4a. I do not know if #4 is in your control Becky, but I blame you.

I’m excited to see where our tumultuous relationship takes us, Fresh Market Foods. Unfortunately, I still need you. Because you’re the only grocery store within three goddamn miles!

5. Why are your baby carrots so slimy? 6. Why do your workers seem unhappy and overworked?

10. Why don’t you sell hard alcohol?

13. Why do I hate you so much?

IMAGE COURTESY OF FLIKR

By Mackenzie Moore ALMANAC CONTRIBUTOR

With Halloween coming up on Sunday, people around the country are getting into the spirit by getting their costumes together, carving pumpkins and, of course, watching horror movies. However, one local man was dismayed after learning that the horror movie he watched was not based on a true story. “It’s really just so disappointing,” said Sun Prairie resident Justin Lyons after watching Bryan Bertino’s “The Strangers.” “I was told that the movie was inspired by true stories. Afterwards, I learned that the story was stretched to the point where it was practically all made up.” Lyons referred to the film as “a waste of an hour and a half ” that he could’ve used to work on his Joker impression for an upcoming Halloween party. “Frankly, if nobody had to be murdered in order for a horror film to

be created, then I don’t want to give it any of my time,” Lyons confessed. “Otherwise, it feels so run-of-the-mill. These movies need that touch of reallife trauma.” Lyons expressed that plotlines about reported demonic possession or events that resulted in severe injury with lifelong damage would work in a pinch, but would be “the bare minimum.” “I want to be able to Google the real story while I’m watching the movie,” Lyons noted. “Looking at old pictures on my phone of the actual victim still full of hope and life as the actor portraying them gets brutally stabbed on my television really adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the experience.” While Lyons was irritated after learning that the film he watched was completely fictional, he quickly rebounded by watching documentaries about homegrown serial killers Jeffrey Dahmer and Ed Gein.

We’re always looking for more funny and insightful writers with fresh takes on topics ranging from the UW campus to international news. We accept and encourage creative submissions as well! Any and all submissions are more than welcome. You can send your submissions and any comments or questions to almanac@dailycardinal.com. All articles featured in Almanac are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

opinion Free by Friday: restructuring work week dailycardinal.com

By Martin Brown STAFF WRITER

Maybe I’m writing this article because I’ve hit the point in the semester where the honeymoon phase of romanticizing how great my classes are and how easy they will be is over. Maybe I’m writing this essay because I’m at the age where one begins to question if their education will ever pay off. But most likely I’m writing this essay as a lazy college student who doesn’t look forward to working five days a week in a structured setting to only have two days off to fit our “life” into. We owe it to ourselves to restructure the way we live to have four-day work weeks. We often hear about trying to get the perfect “work-life balance,” which is a phrase that makes me cringe. Can’t we live in a country that doesn’t make the words “life” and “work” as antonyms of one another? I was inspired by a Tweet I saw that had a shockingly high number of engagements. Seeing a tweet with 100,000 retweets and 610,000 likes, I knew for sure that it had hit the sweet spot in our digital psyche. In my opinion, this “sweet spot” is a Tweet that hits one or two of these six main categories; reassuring humanity, major world events, universal human truths, political feelings, cute animals and calling attention to a quirk of human behavior or history. Therefore a cute dog wearing an “I Hate Democrats” T-Shirt is a double whammy of political feel-

Housing Issue 2021

ings and cute animals and always ends up in front of eyes that will unthinkingly gobble it up. The last one, calling attention to a quirk of human behavior was the category appealed to in the Tweet that inspired this article. It goes as follows: “We need a 3 day weekend: 1 for errands, 1 for social activities, 1 for staying in bed like we’ve got some Victorian wasting disease.” Once again, 610,000 likes. My first thought was, “haha, that’s kinda funny!” My second thought, however, was having this many people like this Tweet and finding it relatable may be a sign of increasing discontent with the system we find ourselves toiling in. The more I thought about it, the more I began to think that the latter explanation was more valid. I realized how many conversations I’ve had with peers when the dreaded question of what you want to do with your degree after graduating comes up. Very few people excitedly say, “Pediatrician! Supply Chain Analyst! Nurse!” All of which are very fine and engaging careers and I have no place to question people’s motives. However, what I do hear a lot more is: “I have no idea, but something interesting and not in a cubicle 9-5,” which is pretty much what I say. Is our generation that privileged to complain about the jobs our grandparents or great-grandparents would take in a heartbeat? I would argue no, it’s just that we have come to expect

more from life. We have come a long way in America, in a good way, and it’s more than okay to want more than two days off. Theoretically, Sunday is meant to be our day of relaxation, yet it has shifted in America to some sort of day of rectifying our shortcomings. We try to eat healthily, work out, recover from our hangovers, ponder our decisions, go to family dinners, church and do

try, and they are often overlooked, but I will address that later on. For, potentially, the most robust economy the world has ewwver seen, we have the highest percapita incarceration rate, highest level of obesity, highest amount of student debt and second highest self-reported levels of depression, according to World Health Organization estimates. I think it’s because we feel trapped into rigid ways of life that aren’t anything like what we as humans have evolved to do. We as Americans have very little attachment to the land we live on and to the people we call family. Say what you will about our country’s roots in rugged individualism and capitalism but it objectively doesn’t prioritize our land or having time to enjoy it with our loved ones. We clearly didn’t evolve the way we did to spend all day in an office, staring at COURTESY OF MADISON SHERMAN screens, and eating such the work we put off for Monday. processed foods, but I don’t think I guess this day of rectification that this will change anytime soon, makes sense in a religious context, so we need to adapt. but I would argue we can do betOn Saturday and Sunday, we ter now. can do all the things we can’t fit in Especially in America, we are the work week, and on Monday, incredibly lucky to have such a we should have no societal expecstrong, well-developed service tations placed on us. economy, where many people in Thoreau argues that man is cities don’t know anyone who does meant to be in solitude somemanual labor. Obviously, there are times. Our current working conpopulations left out of this devel- ditions don’t allow us to do that; opment that still depend on indus- this is the hole that Monday can

fill. When was the last Saturday you walked outside and could do anything you wanted that day? Even though Saturdays are one of our fun days, we have dinner parties and weddings that feel more like chores. The days without these are fleeting, but the few and far in between times are so strange we almost don’t know what to do with ourselves. As Thoreau says in “Walden,” “I have never felt lonesome, or in the least oppressed by a sense of solitude, but once, and that was a few weeks after I came to the woods, when, for an hour, I doubted if the near neighborhood of man was not essential to a serene and healthy life.” I found this fascinating because the one time Thoreau questioned spending so much time outside the structures of society was early on before establishing a routine. This reminds me a lot of my summers. The first few days without a schedule I always found myself anxious and lost, but rapidly would be in a much better mood than I was with a schedule. I believe that people, like the old me, who feel they need a rigid routine may just not be willing to sit through the rough transition period.

Martin Brown is a sophomore studying Political Science. Do you think we need more emphasis on relaxation? Send all comments to Opinion@dailycardina.com. Read the rest online at dailycardinal.com

COVID Cruise Control: assessing the university’s policies By Donnie Slusher STAFF WRITER

Despite low COVID-19 rates amongst students and faculty, there are still considerable flaws in the manner in which safety measures are being presented, enforced and followed. But with such a high vaccination rate amongst students and faculty, does the lack of regulation ultimately matter? As a freshman at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, I wasn’t able to witness the university’s initial response to COVID-19, so I decided to do some research. For others like me who weren’t in Madison to experience the peak of COVID last year, I’ll catch you all up. Hardly a week after classes began, Chancellor Blank suddenly switched the university over to virtual learning and placed the two largest southeast dorms of Witte and Sellery on a two week lockdown. By late November, the university advised students planning to travel for the Thanksgiving recess to not return until the Spring semester. Considering how things declined rapidly one year ago, I somewhat expected that I would move from my hometown and transition into dorm life, begin classes and then have it all mean close to nothing because the school was going to be shut down, like last year. But here we are, still standing. Ultimately, this seeks to answer the question of how has the uni-

versity worked to ensure that the chaos of last year isn’t repeated? As of Oct. 18, 94.9% of the faculty and 94% of students have received the vaccine. In regard to the university and local health officials’ campus vaccine promotion, vaccination percentages have been on the incline as the semester progresses, but we know there is more to limiting the spread of COVID-19 than simply relying on vaccination. The regulations have been rather straightforward. The only real distinction in the way that rules have been enforced has to do with vaccination status. Unvaccinated students must get tested once a week, whereas vaccinated students don’t have any obligation for testing. Every other rule is essentially universal. Masks are required while inside all university buildings, with few exceptions. Social distancing hasn’t been required, which is only surprising because of its close association with COVID policies since the beginning of the pandemic. When it comes to lecture halls and classrooms, I’d say mask enforcement hasn’t been an issue at all. Practically every student is visible from the instructor’s point of view, and nobody wants to be that person in the lecture without a mask. Other university buildings follow a similar trend. Masks are never an issue when a staff member is near or visible. The issue is that lecture halls are the only buildings with consistent

mask usage. I live in Witte. Although I have not been inside every residence hall, those I have seen all feature a communal lounge for each dorm floor. From spending time in such lounges, I’ve seen how masks are rarely worn voluntarily in these areas. The enforcement of masking protocol falls solely on student housing employees, who happen to be only a few years older than most residents, typically. In a monotonous cycle, student housing employees remind each maskless person to cover their nose and mouth, but then the student employees leave the room and the masks go back down. Now realistically, it wouldn’t be practical for the university to constantly enforce masking in every nook and cranny of every university building; They don’t have the staff or the resources. More so, treating college students like children would undermine the maturity of the college experience. Unsurprisingly, this isn’t the only instance where it feels like there are holes in the university’s protocol. Everybody loves going to football games, but it is no secret that these games feel like potential super-spreader events. While masks are meant to be worn when indoors, in places such as food courts and bathrooms, masking in these places are, in fact, few and far between. When it comes down to it, how have these regulations translated to test results? Despite these flaws, however, the university is

COURTESY OF UW-MADISON

maintaining relatively low positive test rates. In terms of single-day totals: 67 stands as the highest number of positive cases between faculty and staff back on Sep. 16. During the month of October, we have only passed 20 positive cases once. While I believe we should still wear masks, it is also important to acknowledge that the strongest weapon that we’ve had against the pandemic are the vaccines. My point is that the university believes in vaccines too, but they are relying on vaccines to cover up the lack of policy enforcement. Instead of a powerful tool, vaccines are now essentially perceived as band-aids. The university likely anticipated a few major events with super-spreader capabilities, such as move-in week or the various home football games. Now that we’ve gotten through some of those, the university just doesn’t seem to care anymore. We still have to wear masks until at least

late November, and likely for a while there after. Now that the university is simply waiting for further direction from the government without effectively enforcing their current regulations, expecting students to follow these measures feels rather futile, especially when there are no consequences to disobeying regulation. We will eventually reach a point where COVID-19 is behind us, but that day is not today. There are still considerable amounts of the Madison population that are not vaccinated and/or face additional health-related concerns. I understand how easy it is to take advantage of the lack of safety enforcement, but I implore you to have some empathy. Also, just wear a damn mask. Donnie Slusher is a freshman majoring in journalism. Do you believe vaccines are causing inconsistent COVID-19 mandate enforcement? Send all comments to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

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