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‘We’re tired of watching people die’

By Tyler Katzenberger SENIOR STAFF WRITER

Abby Jacobson knows exactly how tough it is to treat patients when COVID-19 cases skyrocket.

As a float nurse at Aspirus Riverview Hospital in Wisconsin Rapids, she and her colleagues in the ICU struggle to manage their stress as they care for severely ill patients.

“The last couple of months have been pretty strenuous for all of us,” Jacobson said. “I’ve noticed the ICU nurses struggling a lot with the burden of work, just not seeing the outcomes we want. Our mental health struggles a lot.”

Jacobson is just one of the thousands of Wisconsin nurses fighting the state’s worst wave of COVID-19 since the pandemic began. However, even after two years, two presidents and multiple groundbreaking vaccines, hospitals still look like war zones.

“Patients battling COVID-19 fill Gundersen’s Critical Care Unit in La Crosse,” said Casey Vale, a critical care nurse at Gundersen Health in La Crosse.

“Every shift, we hook them up to ventilators, put in lines and start emergency dialysis. Some survive. Others don’t.”

Though Wisconsin’s 7-day new case average is back below 10,000, the state was averaging 17,586 new COVID-19 cases per day during last week’s peak — 300% more than the previous peak in Nov. 2020. The Omicron variant, which spreads quicker than previous strains, is driving the surge and now accounts for all new cases in the state.

Omicron is also less deadly than previous variants.

Wisconsin hospital beds, however, are still over 90% full and 77% of intensive care units (ICUs) are at peak capacity. UW Health Chief Quality Officer and emergency medicine physician Dr. Jeff Pothof explained that Omicron’s higher transmission rate negates its lower severity. “[Omicron] is about half as likely to land you in the hospital, but the sheer number of cases we’re diagnosing is increasing,” Pothof stated. “I remember going in and working an emergency department shift where 20-30% of the patients I saw were coming in with COVID.” Healthcare professionals say

unvaccinated patients are driving the new wave of hospitalizations and deaths. According to Chief Administrative Officer at Marshfield Medical CenterBeaver Dam Angelia Foster, 80% of hospitalizations since the beginning of 2022 and 90% of deaths since June 2021 have been unvaccinated patients.

UW-Health and other hospitals both report similarly high frequencies of unvaccinated cases.

No age group is immune to the virus either. Older patients were more commonly admitted at the beginning of the Omicron wave, but Vale and other healthcare workers now frequently see younger patients suffering from severe illness or dying.

“These are people in their 30s, 40s and 50s,” Vale explained.

“They are young parents who won’t see their kids graduate or marry. They weren’t able to spend one last holiday with their parents. They hadn’t given their dog one last long belly rub.

They didn’t get the chance to hug their spouse or say ‘I love you’ one last time.”

Omicron is also more prevalent among those without booster shots. ThedaCare, a health system in Northeastern Wisconsin, reported that patients in their hospitals are far more likely to have two or fewer COVID-19 shots.

“The least amount of folks in the hospital are the ones who completed the full vaccination with the booster,” ThedaCare’s Chief Nursing Officer Jackie Anhalt noted. “We’re definitely seeing it has a very positive effect on our patients.”

Healthcare professionals have spent the last year telling the public that vaccines are safe and effective. But with such a significant and boisterous number of people rejecting COVID19 shots only to end up in their hospital beds, doctors and nurses often feel undervalued by their communities.

“There is a segment of the population out there that, when we say we’re struggling in healthcare, instead of getting vaccinated, they’ll make comments like ‘well, you know, you need to work harder. This is what we pay you for. Why aren’t you making more hospital beds and trying harder to take care of us?’” Pothof said. “And that’s hard to hear because we’re real-

ly doing everything we can.”

Mental health challenges Skyrocketing cases have taken a toll on nurses and other healthcare workers in clinical roles. A May 2021 American Medical Association survey of 64,000 healthcare professionals found over half of them reported burnout symptoms, with critical care physicians (65%) and nurses (57%) reporting symptoms at the highest rate.

“I’m not gonna say that COVID-19 is the same as being at war, but I think healthcare workers are definitely susceptible to the same kind of PTSD,” Pothof said. “We see these really awful things, and yet you have to come back every day and do it over and over again.”

With staff at the brink, hospitals are doing what they can to alleviate workplace stress.

ThedaCare helps prevent burnout by balancing staff requests for respite days and honoring unit reassignment requests.

Anhalt said she encourages staff to self-monitor their wellbeing. “It’s very, very healthy, and I don’t think our patients have seen any effects of compassion fatigue. [Our staff ] do a great job of managing it.”

Nurses are helping each other out, too. Jacobson describes her colleagues as “the most wonderful people” who check in with each other regularly, even on their days off.

“We all feel this is our calling, so when we’re not at work, it’s a struggle for us knowing that our colleagues are at work struggling,” Jacobson stated. “But we try to remind ourselves that this may be 8-12 hours out of our lives, but this is something that our patients will never forget. So we just keep going.”

Still, Vale says some of her fellow nurses are leaving the field due to the immense stress they face.

“We’re tired of watching people die. It’s the reason some are leaving healthcare.”

The effects of employee burnout Widespread burnout and staff exit have left many hospitals understaffed. According to a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services report from earlier this month, about one in four hospitals nationwide face a “critical staffing shortage” due to the omicron surge.

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Burnt out nurses call for help to the community, pleading with people to get vaccinated to reduce COVID hopsitalizations.

“We have a vacancy rate of about 25 percent in nursing roles, and on any given day, between 10-12% of our staff are unavailable to work because they’re sick,” Foster said. “We’re seeing double the patient load with a third less of our staff. It’s intense.”

Furthermore high COVID-19 transmission rates in schools mean employees need to stay home and care for their children more often than usual.

“A lot of kids are sick, and so staff needing to stay home with their children has put a strain on our ability to run at full capacity,” Anhalt explained.

For the staff who remain, less help means they take on more patients during a shift.

“We have most certainly noticed shortages, but we all have been doing our part to pick up shifts when we can,” Jacobson added. “But there are still times that we’ve had to take an increased load and do the best we can.”

Yet as they lose staff, hospitals are seeing more demand for bed space for COVID-19 patients than they can accommodate. In response, many Wisconsin hospitals, including UW-Health, ThedaCare, Marshfield Medical Center and Aspirus Riverview Hospital recently paused elective procedures which improve quality of life and aren’t critical health threats.

But patients waiting for those procedures, many of which are routine injury repair or mitigation surgeries, still experience discomfort. Foster used her own husband’s experience to explain why elective procedures are still important.

“When we moved in February 2020, he had herniated a disk in his back,” Foster said. “He could not have his elective back procedure until June of 2020. But when you live with the pain, it doesn’t feel elective.”

Doctors and nurses are just as frustrated as the patients.

While Pothof remains committed to caring for every patient, he knows that every bed occupied by an unvaccinated COVID19 patient is one less bed for patients with other health emergencies.

“It’s unreasonable to tell someone not to have their heart attack this week, and it seems absolutely crazy to say ‘don’t have your cancer diagnosis next week’, but it seems completely reasonable to ask that you go out to Walgreens or CVS and get a shot in your arm,” Pothof concluded.

Building community in hardship To solve staffing issues and reinstate normal levels of care, hospitals are offering extensive incentive pay bonuses for clinical staff which, for some, have skyrocketed their pay to nearly $100 per hour.

Others, including Marshfield Medical Center-Beaver Dam, are also hiring traveling nurses, but Foster says their availability is low and their wage rates are more expensive due to competitive bidding wars.

“You want to use your own [staff ] and pay them to do the

work, so we offer incentives for open shifts,” Foster stated. “But we’re also at times having to contract labor in, who are great people, traveling nurses who want to help us. It just comes at a different price.”

Hospitals are also receiving help from the Wisconsin National Guard, who have been deployed throughout the pandemic to support healthcare workers. Earlier this month, Gov. Tony Evers announced 80 more National Guard members would be deployed as certified nursing assistants at the end of January after completing a training program at Madison College.

“The National Guard has helped us outside the hospital walls in the clinic, vaccine administration and post-acute settings,” Anhalt said, adding that she was thankful for the extra aid.

UW-Health, ThedaCare and Aspirus Riverview are also moving administrative staff into clinical roles for extra assistance, including some relocations from administrative roles such as human resources. Both nurses and non-clinical support staff say the reassignments foster a positive sense of community and togetherness.

“A lot of our directors have been stepping in,” Jacobson noted. “They come around twice a day to turn patients, especially in our ICU with patients on ventilators. That’s been really helpful.”

“It’s really a ‘we’re all in this together’ situation,” Anhalt said. “I don’t think anyone has walked away from that experience without being fulfilled with the time that they gave.”

But to beat the pandemic, doctors, nurses and other healthcare staff need help from individuals, families and communities.

Chief Administrative Officer Foster wants everyone to know that they can help healthcare workers deal with the stress of the pandemic.

“Please check on your healthcare workers,” Foster said. “Your friends, your family who are providers in our hospitals — give them a call. They’re working more, they’re away from home more and they’re nervous wondering if they’re going to take COVID home to their family.”

For Abby Jacobson, patience goes a long way.

“If you need to go to the emergency room, please bring your patience and understanding for us healthcare workers,” Jacobson stated. “We’re trying our best, and we want to be able to take care of everyone.”

Finally, Dr. Pothof and Casey Vale need you to know that every individual’s decision matters in the fight against COVID-19.

“We’re tired of hearing that we’re heroes,” Pothof said. “We want to see the rest of the community go out, get vaccinated, and do their part so we don’t have to be heroes anymore.”

“We are exhausted,” Vale pleaded. “Please help us end this.”

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UW-Madison researchers make strides with coronavirus vaccine

By Anthony Trombi STAFF WRITER

University of Wisconsin-Madison researchers are leading efforts along with three other teams to create a universal coronavirus vaccine.

The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last fall that the Pan-Coronavirus Vaccine consortium, led by UW-Madison School of Veterinary Medicine Professor of Pathobiological Sciences Yoshihiro Kawaoka, would work to develop a vaccine to fight multiple coronaviruses. The Pan-Coronavirus Vaccine consortium has received approximately $7 million in funding from the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.

“UW-Madison has long been at the leading edge of biomedical research,” said Director of Research Communications Kelly Tyrrell in an interview with The Daily Cardinal.

“The Kawaoka lab pioneered a reverse genetics technique that permits influenza vaccine developers to more effectively design new vaccines each year. The lab has also been working to develop a universal influenza vaccine. These efforts prepared the lab for work on a universal coronavirus vaccine.”

After the first strain of SARSCoV-2, multiple variants have

appeared with new consequential characteristics.

These variants drive researchers to develop new ways to prevent S A R S - C oV- 2 .

The urgency of the pandemic prompt enhanced collaboration unlike any previous vaccine research at UW-Madison.

“The Kawaoka COURTESY OF JEFF MILLER lab has been Hopefully we can see some new coronavirus vaccine jumps due to some of our in-house researchers. studying infectious diseases for decades and has research development, according NIH announced additional worked on technology to improve to Tyrrell. funding that will be granted to new vaccine technologies, particularly “Animal models allow research- institutions in 2022. The earliest a to prevent pandemics,” said Tyrrell. ers to gain a fundamental under- universal coronavirus vaccine could “Research from the lab is contribut- standing of how a particular treat- reach clinical trials is five years. ing to the development of a universal ment or vaccine works biologically, “If the research is successful, it influenza vaccine. With the emer- how well a vaccine can stimulate the could be applied to prevent or limit gence of the SARS-CoV-2 virus, the immune system to mount a response the impact of another variant that lab began working to better under- and how safe it might be if applied in could prolong the current pandemic stand the virus, develop an effective human clinical trials,” Tyrrell said. or another coronavirus that could animal model now in use around “Vaccine trials with mice and other become pandemic,” Tyrrell added. the world, and undertake work to animals are the first step in a process “The ideal end goal is a safe and prevent future pandemics.” that ends with testing in human clin- effective vaccine that works across The animal model poses strong ical trials and help ensure human the coronavirus family to prevent promise and potential for future lives are not put at undue risk.” severe illness and death.”

UW’s COVID-19 response, community worry

By Kodie Engst STAFF WRITER

“Good morning and welcome to the Spring 2022 semester. We wish you a safe and successful start to the new year,” read the first post of the semester on the official University of Wisconsin-Madison Instagram on Tuesday. The post came amid discussion and concern among the campus community about the university’s COVID-19 response plan for the spring semester.

In-person instruction has remained central to UW-Madison’s protocol, according to university spokesperson Meredith McGlone.

The university has held that this is due largely to the fact that vaccines and boosters greatly decrease the risk of severe illness.

Afterall, approximately 95% of Madison students, faculty and staff are fully vaccinated against COVID-19 with the first vaccine series, per a university COVID19 update.

Even so, the Omicron variant of COVID-19 is more contagious and its emergence coincided with the highest reported rates of the virus for UW-Madison in mid-December since September 2021.

Embracing proven strategies to reduce spread and providing more support for students, faculty and employees is the main focus of the COVID-19 response plan, according to the university.

Professor Shanan Peters in the Geo-Science department remains hopeful about the plan, describing it as “a reasonable plan for the start of the semester — a combination of testing and basic preventative measures to launch the start of an otherwise mostly normal semester is the right move.”

Some other faculty members agree, praising the Madison com-

munity for the vaccination rate and the responsibility shown in masking and distancing for the greater good.

Other responses to the plan have been more critical. The Teaching Assistants Association (TAA) has made demands including initial 2-week remote learning at the beginning of the semester, stricter masking requirements and more effective masks provided to all those involved in campus life and broader COVID-19 accommodations for faculty and staff, among others. The Associated Students of Madison (ASM) and BIPOC Coalition both stand behind these demands.

On Tuesday, ASM followed suit by releasing a statement urging administrators to adopt hybrid class structures that would allow for greater flexibility and “protections for the most vulnerable members of [the] campus community.”

While the campus response to concerns insists that the university is encouraging instructors to give students flexibility when it comes to the inability to attend in-person classes, ASM maintains that encouragement is not a strong enough answer to the dangers of the pandemic. It remains unclear whether these calls to action made by the TAA, ASM and BIPOC Coalition will be met with changes or additions to the response plan by the university.

One of the important facets of the university’s approach to slowing the spread is the identification of cases. PCR tests through University Health Services (UHS) were available for students free of charge all fall semester, and that practice is continuing through the spring, with over 5,000 available tests a week. Prior to the beginning

of the semester, students were also asked to test before and after coming back onto campus in an attempt to contain the number of outside COVID cases that would otherwise be brought into Dane County.

In addition to the on-campus PCR tests, no-cost take-home antigen tests are also being offered to Madison students and employees with a limit of one per week.

Pickups for these antigen tests are available at Memorial Union and Union South.

“The take-home kits provide added convenience because they can be kept on hand to use when needed,” highlighted McGlone.

Test results of self-administered antigen tests are not required to be reported in accordance with state policy according to the university.

Instructions for when to test are also suggested on the university’s response plan webpage, urging students who are having symptoms or who have been a

COURTESY OF ALTHEA DOTZOUR

Students study during the pandemic.

close contact of a confirmed positive case to utilize the antigen tests when needed and obtain PCR test results when available.

Availability of antigen tests serves as a way to allow students to more quickly identify cases and quarantine themselves. They also give UHS a chance to conduct contact tracing to locate other people

who may be affected by coronavirus according to the university.

The plan also includes preventative measures, such as extending the on-campus indoor mask mandate through March 1. This decision is made based on current conditions in Dane County as well as careful communication with Public Health Madison & Dane County, said McGlone. This extension is in line with the most recent CDC guidelines per preventing spread.

Dane County recently extended the Face Covering Emergency Order until March 1, 2022. This order requires face coverings on public transportation as well as in enclosed spaces that are open to the public.

The university is also offering surgical masks to students when they are picking up their antigen tests. The most important part of the mask requirement is to frequently check that masks fit well, are worn correctly and are as protective as possible.

“The university’s response to COVID-19 is a team effort involving staff and leaders from across campus, in consultation with campus, local and state public health experts,” McGlone said.

According to McGlone, the university remains focused on providing resources and support to employees and students to enable them to manage their personal risk while resuming daily activities.

This approach seems to be effective leading into the first week of the spring semester. On Wednesday, the university recorded 69 COVID19 cases among the campus population, according to the UW-Madison COVID-19 dashboard; This is an increase from Tuesday, Jan. 25 when 27 students and employees tested positive.

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An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892 Volume 131, Issue 14

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Wisconsin’s changing forests, look into future

By Thomas Gilk STAFF WRITER

Forests communicate. They send messages to animals like humans, with their color-changing leaves reminding us that the seasons are changing.

They also contain networks of internal communication and resource-sharing among plants, operating through ultra-thin underground fungi known as mycelia. Trees don’t just compete, they cooperate.

Forests play essential roles for individuals, societies and the planet. They help people communicate; we breathe and speak using the oxygen they release. On a global scale, they mitigate rising average temperatures by absorbing planet-heating carbon dioxide for photosynthesis.

But by fragmenting landscapes, expanding industrial agriculture and causing climate change, humans have degraded the planet’s forests, including those in Wisconsin. Exploring how this happened — and understanding what scientists are learning about the ongoing transformation of forests — can provide insights into possible pathways toward a more sustainable future for these treasured ecosystems.

‘Change rather than recovery’ In 2007, researchers including David J. Mladenoff, then a professor of forest ecology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, published an analysis of how forests in the Upper Midwest had changed since what the authors call the “pre-Euro-American” era.

The study documents how, between approximately 1850 and 1900, logging of unprecedented speed devastated the northern forests of Wisconsin, Minnesota and Michigan. This era gave rise to stories of the mythical clear-cutter Paul Bunyan and the glorification of logging, especially among European settlers in the region known as the Northwoods.

This period of rapid forest degradation and continuing Euro-American colonization caused the dispossession of Native Americans, such as the Ojibwe people, from their ancestral homelands.

Yet Native Americans “are glaringly absent from the tales of loggers and logging,” wrote Kasey Keeler, an assistant professor of American Indian Studies at UW-Madison, and Ryan Hellenbrand, a graduate student.

Keeler and Hellenbrand continue: “The ‘heroic labor’ of logging formed a significant portion of Great Lakes region economies at the turn of the twentieth century, on the heels of, and entangled with, Ojibwe dispossession.”

Meanwhile, forests in the southern portions of Wisconsin were often fragmented by, or converted to, long-term agricultural land. In the mid-20th century, reforestation in parts of the Upper Midwest gave the impression of recovered forest ecosystems — an impression the 2007 study’s authors suggest is distorted.

“Our analysis shows a distinct and rapid trajectory of vegetation change toward historically unprecedented and simplified conditions,” Mladenoff and coauthors write. “Although forests have largely been re-established

across northern portions of the region, these forests are on a new trajectory of change rather than recovery toward pre-Euro-American conditions.”

More specifically, Mladenoff and his co-authors show, coniferous trees like white pine and hemlock have declined, while broadleaf deciduous trees like aspen and maple have increasingly dominated since Europeans colonized North America. Overall, forest biodiversity has declined, resulting in what the authors call a “homogenization of the overall composition and structure of the regional forest.”

That’s a problem, according to Richard Lindroth, Vilas Distinguished Achievement Professor of Ecology at University of Wisconsin-Madison.

“Biodiversity is essential for the functioning of ecosystems,” Lindroth said, because species’ diversity “lends itself to stability and sustainability of ecosystems over time.”

The Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources (DNR) points out that the state’s growing human population (currently nearing 6 million) and demand for natural resources could spur more landuse changes. This could further fragment and degrade forest ecosystems, ultimately reducing species diversity and with it, an ecosystem’s ability to adapt to rapidly changing circumstances.

Complex climate impacts The changing climate is making its mark on the forests of the Upper Midwest, affecting everything from the timing of leaf-color change to the collections of species that inhabit forest ecosystems.

Leaves change colors because as the days shorten and hours of sunlight decrease, they stop making chlorophyll, which appears to us as green. As chlorophyll breaks down, other pigments already in the leaves emerge, such as the carotenoids that produce yellow hues and the anthocyanins that appear red.

Climatic factors can affect the timing and speed of leaf color change. This year, the Wisconsin DNR says warmer and drier-thanaverage autumn conditions in southern Wisconsin have affected leaf color change. As Colleen Matula, a forest ecologist with the Wisconsin DNR, told Wisconsin Public Radio, “Some trees respond to drought stress by skipping the fall color change altogether and the leaves will just turn brown and fall quickly off the tree.”

Additionally, as Wisconsin’s growing season lengthens with warmer average temperatures, some years may bring delayed leaf coloration. A climate-driven increase in the frequency of severe storms may also cause more leaves to drop prematurely.

Scholars have shown how varied and hard-to-predict changes to fall leaf coloration in New England can impact “leaf-peeping” turnout and limit fall tourism revenue in communities that have historically benefited from it. Forest-adjacent communities in Wisconsin could soon face the same challenge.

Warming temperatures bring a slew of other impacts to forests. In 2018, a group of researchers from the U.S. Forest Service published a review of the ways in which for-

COURTESY OF THOMAS JILK

The reasons some forests change color is fun to learn about, but there are more important things to be focusing on with trees. ests in the Midwest and Northeast are vulnerable to climate change.

Shorter, warmer winters will lead to a decline in forest snowpack, which can harm root systems and reduce plant productivity, according to the Forest Service researchers. An increase in extreme precipitation events — coupled with the fact that more winter precipitation will fall as rain rather than snow — will likely increase agricultural runoff and flooding, changing the composition of forest soils.

Crucially, shifting climatic conditions can allow new species to enter habitats in which they could not previously thrive. For instance, researchers report that warmer winters could expand the range of the southern pine beetle northward, which could pose a threat to pine trees in southern Wisconsin in the coming decades.

Lindroth, who studies insects and their interactions with tree species, said increasing average winter temperatures may allow for more outbreaks of the invasive insect formerly known as the “gypsy moth” (The species is now undergoing a name change due to the term’s offensiveness to the Romani people). The moths can be devastating to forests, especially aspen and oak trees, but struggle to survive extreme cold spells that are declining in regularity as the climate warms.

“Severe cold snaps cause high mortality of overwintering eggs, and as those cold snaps become less and less frequent, we have the potential for movement of this insect species further and further north,” Lindroth said of the moths.

In addition, invasive jumping earthworms, which have proliferated at the UW Arboretum, seem to thrive under conditions of wetter soil. Their presence in local forests could have wide-ranging implications, including disrupting native soils by inhibiting underground mycelial fungi from connecting one tree to another, obstructing internal communication within the forest.

The deer that feed on forest vegetation also thrive in warmer winter temperatures, according to the Wisconsin Initiative on Climate Change Impacts (WICCI). In a recent report, authors from WICCI and other environmental organizations laid out the risks that a growing deer population presents.

“Deer browsing pressure may limit the ability of forests to respond to climate change, because species like oaks, pines, and red maple are browsed so heavily,” the report states.

A 2014 report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) predicts that climate change will lead to a decrease in suitable habitat for several tree

species in the forests of Michigan and Wisconsin, including balsam fir, black spruce, black ash, quaking aspen and paper birch. Species projected to increase the size of their habitats in the region include American beech, red mulberry and bur oak.

“There will likely be long-term changes in the composition of forests because some of the trees are going to respond better than others,” Lindroth said.

To summarize, climate change can unpredictably tweak the timing of leaf-color change that guides us from fall to winter, creates wild fluctuations between wet and dry conditions, and brings a growing assortment of invasive plants and animals to forests where they often face little to no competition for resources.

A recent article in Science uses Germany as a case study for how climate impacts on forests can build on one another, in a “deadly chain reaction.” A 2018 drought, coupled with extreme heat, deprived Germany’s spruces of water, preventing them from producing the resin that protects them from bark beetles. The beetles took advantage, devouring the leaves of entire forests, “turning them from green to ghostly gray,” writes journalist Gabriel Popkin.

‘More control’ Invasive species have repeatedly entered ecosystems through international trade and transport, in often avoidable circumstances.

Ecosystems may be better prepared to adapt to a changing climate if governments can become “more attuned to the distribution of potentially harmful and invasive species,” Lindroth said. “That could help a lot.”

Up to this point, “the United States has not committed the resources necessary to effectively control the transcontinental shipment of items,” Lindroth said.

Satellites and cutting-edge remote-sensing technologies offer hope for monitoring and assessing ecosystems more accurately and at larger scales than ground-based surveys can. With these technologies, scientists and policymakers will be able to flexibly respond to ongoing deforestation and ecosystem degradation – and aim to reduce or reverse harmful consequences – by measuring biodiversity from space.

A fierce debate among scientists is ongoing about whether humans need to proactively help vulnerable tree species migrate faster than they otherwise could as climatic conditions change. Some researchers argue this human help could save some species from extinction.

The process, known as “assisted migration,” is an example of climate adaptation in which humans intervene with natural processes in order to solve problems they caused in the first place.

This recurring theme is explored in the book Under A White Sky: The Nature of the Future by Elizabeth Kolbert: “We face a no-analog predicament,” Kolbert writes. “If there is to be an answer to the problem of control, it’s going to be more control.”

The promise of biodiversity There are signs of hope for Wisconsin’s forests. For instance, the Conservation Fund recently bought about 700,000 acres of the Pelican River Forest, an area in Oneida County that was (until it was bought) the largest unprotected forest in the state. This bodes well for water quality in local communities near the forest and for the ecosystem’s ability to retain biodiversity in the face of climate change.

Wisconsin contains a wide range of biomes, or different communities of flora and fauna, from grasslands and savannas to an array of forest types. That ecosystem diversity gives the state potential for rich species diversity, which promotes resilience in the face of change.

“Wisconsin as a state has unusually rich biological diversity because we’re at the historical borders of these major biomes, the prairies and the Northern forests,” Lindroth said.

But thwarting invasive species, assisting trees on their journeys into new habitats, and ultimately promoting rich biological diversity, are challenging and complicated tasks.

“Ecology is not rocket science.

It’s way harder,” Lindroth said.

And there is more at stake in protecting forest biodiversity than the condition of the forest.

“There is an emotional component to rich biological diversity that people can connect to,” Lindroth said. “There is this wonder and awe component. It enriches our lives.”

In the world of ecology, where every point has a counterpoint, nearly every tendency an exception, rules are difficult to come by.

But one key pattern that is welldocumented is the “species-area relationship,” which describes how, as the amount of land in a habitat increases, the number of species it can support increases as part of an exponential function.

In other words, adding even relatively small amounts of land to a forest habitat can significantly increase its ability to support greater biological diversity. Thus, preserving forest land preserves forest biodiversity.

And it is worth preserving.

After all, biodiversity represents “the assembly of life that took a billion years to evolve,” as the late biologist E.O. Wilson wrote. “It has eaten the storms – folded them into its genes – and created the world that created us. It holds the world steady.”

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Badgers suffer sweep in Border Battle

By Christian Voskuil SPORTS EDITOR

The Wisconsin women’s hockey team (18-3-3) dropped both games against Minnesota (19-6-1) at the Gophers’ Ridder Arena this weekend, getting swept by their rivals to the west for the first time since February 2014.

Missed chances were the story for the Badgers in the opening game of the series.

Less than two minutes into the first period of game one, an Emily Oden tripping penalty gave Wisconsin an opportunity to take command early in the game against their rivals.

Unfortunately for the Badgers, they couldn’t capitalize on that chance, failing even to get off a shot during the two-minute man advantage.

Even worse, that wasn’t the only failed powerplay of the night (or even the first period) for the girls in red.

After both teams went into the first intermission scoreless, the Gophers finally broke the deadlock, pulling ahead 1-0 thanks to Madeline Wethington’s goal just over a minute after Minnesota’s penalty kill unit foiled the Badgers’ powerplay line yet again.

That Gopher lead held for the final seven minutes of the second period, and Minnesota went into the last period of play up 1-0 despite Wisconsin outshooting the home team 30-19 through the first 40 minutes of the game.

The Badgers finally capitalized on their fourth pow-

erplay of the night as Daryl Watts received the puck deep in the Gopher zone, skated along the opposing goal line, and flipped a backhanded shot over the Minnesota netminder to tie the game at one apiece. The goal was Watts’ 275th career point, making her only the sixth player in NCAA women’s hockey history to achieve that milestone.

With 4:41 left on the powerplay, Wisconsin was in a prime position to capture a game-winner, but a Watts interference penalty put a hamper on those thoughts.

After two minutes of four-on-four hockey, Watts stepped back onto the ice, but the 59 seconds left of the man advantage was not enough for the Badgers to find a winner.

Still with the momentum, Wisconsin had the opportunity to take the lead but failed to seize their chances again.

Instead, it was Minnesota finding the back of the net.

Potomak and Wethington started a two-on-one rush and ended with the former tapping the puck past Wisconsin’s Kennedy Blair to give the Gophers a 2-1 lead with 2:34 left to play.

An extra skater for the Badgers over the final 1:30 of the third period wasn’t enough, and Minnesota won the first game of the weekend.

With at least one powerplay opportunity in each period and five in the whole game, Wisconsin could have — and should have — won

this game by multiple goals.

Powerplays have been a weak point all season for these Badgers. Sitting at a 17.6% conversion rate, Wisconsin sits 17th in the country and 5th in the conference in powerplay percentage, a number they’ll need to improve if they hope to be once again crowned national champions.

The Badgers came out hotter in the second game.

Wisconsin’s Brette Pettet put the Badgers in front with l her goal four minutes into the first period, and it looked like Wisconsin was back to their normal form.

The Badgers’ first lead of the weekend didn’t last long, though, as Minnesota’s Crystalyn Hengler knotted up the affair 96 seconds later.

The game would settle down for the next 11 minutes, but a barrage of goals at the end of the first period gave the Gophers a 3-2 lead at the end of the first 20 minutes.

A Taylor Heise goal early in the second doubled the Minnesota lead, and the Gophers went into the third period up 4-2, looking for their first sweep of the Badgers in almost eight years.

Pettet would light the lamp a second time two minutes into the final period, and the Badgers’ attempt at a comeback started again.

Wisconsin went on the attack but failed to find the equalizer around Minnesota’s netminder, Lauren Bench.

Like the first game, the

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A. J. HARRISON/UW ATHLETICS

The Wisconsin women were swept in a border battle for the first time in almost eight years this past weekend at Minnesota's Ridder Arena Badgers’ powerplay unit once again let them down in the series finale.

Wisconsin had seven powerplays in the series totaling 15 minutes of player advantages. In those 15 minutes, the Badgers only had five shots on goal, a number that won’t win you games in this conference. The women’s team will need to be better if they hope to make any kind of run in the upcoming

NCAA tournament.

Wisconsin has a perfect chance to take out their anger and bully a lesser opponent when they face St. Cloud State this weekend — the second-worst team in the WCHA Conference.

Friday’s affair will start at 6 p.m, and Saturday’s puck will drop at 3 p.m. Both games will air on BTN+ as part of the WCHA’s deal with the Big Ten.

Wahl-less Wisconsin travel to Nebraska to take on Cornhuskers

By Christian Voskuil SPORTS EDITOR

TAYLOR WOLFRAM/DAILY CARDINAL

Wisconsin hopes to have Wahl back in the lineup against Nebraska.

The laboring Wisconsin men’s basketball team (15-3, 6-2 in Big Ten) travel to lastplace Nebraska (6-13, 0-8) hoping to limp their way past the Cornhuskers on Thursday, possibly without starting forward Tyler Wahl again.

“We don’t know where he’ll be on Thursday,” head coach Greg Gard said of Wahl after Tuesday’s practice, “We’ll see how he reacts to what he does, how he feels the next day from what he’s done the previous day.”

The Badgers could really use Wahl back in the lineup, even if it’s not at 100%. Without the junior forward, who sprained his ankle in the Badgers win over Northwestern, Wisconsin struggled for production against the No. 14 Spartans last Friday. The Badgers shot just 42.6% from the field and got just six points from replacements Ben Carlson and Carter Gilmore, with all of those coming from the former.

It wasn’t just the offense that suffered, either. Wahl, touted as the best defender

on a strong Badger defense, was sorely missed on both sides of the ball. The Spartans shot an outstanding 52.6% from the floor and had 32 points in the paint in the 86-74 Wisconsin loss.

Wahl’s absence might have been most felt in the depth in a relatively shallow Badger team offensively.

The Wisconsin bench, now moved a spot up without Wahl, was outscored by Michigan State’s 43-7.

If the Badgers can get Wahl with even limited minutes, they should be able to get back to winning ways with a defeat of Nebraska.

If Wahl can’t go, it’ll be interesting to see who is tasked with guarding Nebraska’s Bryce McGowens. McGowens averages 15.7 points per game and has five games this season with 20+ points. Alongside him, Alonzo Verge Jr. averages 14.3, making a dominant offensive backcourt that could cause the Badgers problems if they don’t shut the duo down early.

One thing that will remain

true whether or not Wahl is in the lineup is that somebody needs to step up and join the scoring output. The offense has had a tendency this season to lean too heavily on Johnny Davis and Brad Davison.

Somebody has to step up in Wahl’s place to take the load off of Davis and Davison.

For me, that production has to come from Chucky Hepburn.

The freshman point guard has shown flashes this semester but has yet to produce on a real consistent basis, and a game against a low-tier Big Ten team in front of his family in Nebraska is the perfect opportunity for the first-year guard to show what he’s really made of.

With or without Wahl, the Badgers need to win this game in the ever-competitive Big Ten. The conference boasts five top 25 teams, and each team needs to win every game they’re favored in.

The game will tip-off at 4 p.m. and is available to watch on Big Ten Network.

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Spring Welcome Back 2022

By Sophie Friedberg STAFF WRITER

Spring semester (a misleading title) brings about a series of unfortunate changes, including the blistering cold. Start breaking out the scarves, mittens and patagonia fleeces because winter is here. The days are getting shorter, the sun sparse and students are losing their battle with icy Bascom Hill.

To combat these changes, we have to find ways to stay warm and keep their spirits up during the cold months. Here are some winter essentials that’ll keep you toasty and happy without breaking the bank.

The basics: Fuzzy socks Go ahead and buy yourself a pack of Amazon’s fluffiest socks. Leaving even a quarter of skin exposed between your jeans and your shoes is a recipe for frostbite in a really random section of your calves. Not a cute look.

Space heater Space heaters are a must if you live in a dorm, apartment or house without heat. Until UW forks up some cash to add heating and cooling in the

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dorms, a space heater will be your best friend from November until March. Pro tip: hang your fuzzy socks in front of your space heater for a couple of minutes before wearing them. Just make sure they don’t catch on fire; I’m not liable if they do.

A thermos A solid thermos will keep you warm on your walk to your 8:30 a.m. class. Pop your drink of choice into your generic thermos — or a Hydro Flask/S’well Bottle if you’re trendy — and enjoy hours worth of tongue-burning drink.

Moisturizer Boys, listen up because skincare isn’t just for the ladies. Everyone deserves bouncy, hydrated skin and the sharp winter chill doesn’t want you to succeed in that endeavor. A water-based moisturizer is better than a gel-based moisturizer for the dry winter season, and make sure to use a heavier cream at night! And don’t forget: the sun still shines when it’s cold out! Don’t skimp on your sunscreen!

The boujee: A towel warmer This is definitely a splurge item, but what a

luxury it is. Dump your clothes, towels, socks and blankets into your towel warmer — yes, they’re not just for towels — and make your walk from the bed to the front door much more bearable. There’s nothing better than getting out of your warm shower and into a warm towel, even when the room around you is freezing.

Hot chocolate machine I know what you’re thinking: Why in the world would I buy an instant hot chocolate machine for $60? I don’t have a fiscally responsible answer for you, but they do make a lot of sense spiritually and emotionally. Put your mental health first this semester and buy yourself a hot chocolate machine. Or, be a responsible adult and spend your money elsewhere. But if anyone actually buys one, I wouldn’t turn down an invitation to try it out, for research purposes.

Vitamin D light When the sun starts to dim, it’s easy to feel your spirit dim with it. To mimic natural sunlight, replace your dorm room’s fluorescent, hospital-grade lamps with a light therapy vitamin D lamp. Stick your face underneath, make like the flowers and blossom.

Taking advantage of a Madison winter

By Megan Girod STAFF WRITER

JENNIFER SCHALLER/DAILY CARDINAL

There are a wide variety of winter activites to do with friends, including ice skating.

Ways to kickstart the spring semester

By Lily Gould STAFF WRITER

After a month of relaxation and not worrying about exams, getting back into the swing of things is not something that is always granted.

But with good intentions and a little bit of an organization, things can feel a bit easier.

Here are some tips to set yourself up for success for the upcoming semester!

Prepare and plan Another semester may call for feeling overwhelmed.

However, when you take steps to prepare yourself for what’s to come and you have a relatively set routine in place, you can feel more confident. What does this mean from a tangible standpoint? It means taking steps that you know will personally help you in the long run.

For example, if you are worried about not being able to find a class that is annoyingly far away in a building that you have never heard of, walk your classes the day before with a friend. If

the professor has already emailed you about the textbooks you need, call the bookstore in advance or go as soon as you get back on campus. Read over your syllabi so that nothing will creep up on you. As long as you know yourself and what makes you feel ready to take your days head on, you can plan in a manner that is both practical and enjoyable.

Set attainable goals When it comes to new year resolutions and a new semester of opportunity, we tend to get pretty idealistic.

This is a great thing, but it is just as important to be honest with yourself. For example, if procrastination is a prominent issue for you, it is likely not plausible to make your semester goal to stop procrastination as a whole. It is more realistic to have the goal of lessening your procrastination and making it something you actively work on.

Try to make goals that will set you up for success. If your goal is to get your GPA up,

set a goal of having a more structured routine for each class so that you are covering all aspects of your courses. If there are times where you are struggling, make it a priority to see your professors and TAs. Try to join one more extracurricular that you are genuinely interested in. It’s all about small steps, not being hard on yourself and making sure you are trying your best!

Prioitize your well-being When we are trying our best to do all these things at once, we are prone to exhaustion and burnout. A way to prevent this is prioritizing yourself through self-care. This means investing in activities that are for you each day. Whether it be getting your favorite coffee, exercising with a friend or watching your favorite show on Netflix, it is important to sit back and do small actions that bring you peace in the midst of chaotic days.

Make this semester your best yet, Badgers!

Winters in Madison can be dreary and feel like they are never ending. Between classwork and walking through snow all day, the days can feel like they drag on and on. But don’t worry, there are plenty of fun winter activities to partake in in Madison! Check out these ideas to help brighten up those dreary winter days before spring rolls around again!

The first activity can be found right here on campus through Hoofers, located in Memorial Union. Hoofers is a student organization based out of Memorial Union that is a collection of various outdoor adventure opportunities! During the winter, Hoofers rents snowshoes that can be used to trek across our beloved Lake Mendota or any other area

for that matter! You can rent snowshoes and trekking poles for an hour, usually the amount of time it takes to get across to Picnic Point, or for the weekend. Reservations are not needed if you plan on renting the equipment during Hoofers hours (Monday - Friday, 12 p.m.

- 6 p.m.).

If you want to take your winter activities back outside, you can swing by The Edgewater and go ice skating. You are free to bring your own skates or rent skates for $3, make sure to buy your ticket in advance, as it does sometimes it does sell out! Each ticket is valid for one hour of skating at the rink, more information can be found on their website! If you want to take your skates inside where it is a little warmer, you can head over to the skating rink located in the Shell.

Open skate hours vary day by day so check out their website for the latest skate times! Otherwise, skate rentals are available for $3 for UW students with a valid WisCard with an additional $4 rink fee.

If the cold becomes too much to bear, you can head over to the Chazen Art Museum located on campus and check out their most recent exhibits.

There are currently two feature exhibits available, and there are also plenty of permanent fixtures in the Chazen Museum that are fascinating to look at and enjoy. Once you have explored all of Chazen’s exhibits, you can then head down State Street to the Madison Museum of Contemporary Art which features new exhibits all the time.

Grab your hot chocolate, go explore and stay warm!

TAYLOR WOLFRAM/DAILY CARDINAL

As the temperatures start to drop, students bundle up and head out into the chilly winter weather!

photo Snapper’s Row: A week in spring! dailycardinal.com

Spring Welcome Back 2022

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Activists at the Wisconsin State Capitol protest against nuclear weapons.

TAYLOR WOLFRAM/THE DAILY CARDINAL

A snowkiter gliding across Lake Mendota.

DRAKE WHITE-BERGEY/THE DAILY CARDINAL

The Wisconsin State Capitol lit up at night, as seen from State Street.

DRAKE WHITE-BERGEY/THE DAILY CARDINAL

Students take turns snowboarding down Bascom Hill at night.

TAYLOR WOLFRAM/THE DAILY CARDINAL DRAKE WHITE-BERGEY/THE DAILY CARDINAL

Students studying in the Discovery Building during the first day of classes.

Badger men's basketball player Brad Davison during the Wisconsin-Michigan State game.

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The Best of 2021 TV Show: Inside Job With each passing release, my patience and respect for Netflix originals dwindle ever so slightly. It’s not that they’re never good — in fact, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed shows like “Black Mirror”, “Love Death + Robots” and “Mindhunter.” What bothers me is the oversaturation of these Netflix-sponsored shows on the streaming service. Go to any page on Netflix, and you’ll find most movies and shows you see have the Netflix tag in the upper left corner. So when I started the Netflix show “Inside Job” one mindless morning, my expectations were low. I was dead wrong.

Song: Leave the Door Open

The epicenter of Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak’s An Evening with Silk Sonic, “Leave the Door Open” is a sparkling throwback to classic soul. It’s slow, seductive and glamorous, and it instantly felt like an important track upon its release.

The combined talent of Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak is off the charts, and it’s on full display on “Leave the Door Open.”

From Mars’ glistening harmonies to .Paak’s intricate rhythms on drums, the pair complement each other in a way only two artists at the height of their abilities can.

— Seamus Rohrer

The new adult animation series stars Lizzy Caplan as Reagan Ridley, a young genius who is handed the keys to the United States’ deep state. Caplan has been a criminally underrated actress her entire career, and she shines as the voice of the all-business, uptight-but-entertaining Reagan Ridley. She’s perfect for the role, and she’d be perfect for the same role if the show was live action.

Movie: No Time To Die Daniel Craig’s send-off as Agent 007 is a sprawling, 173-minute epic. Bond will always be remembered as the slick, womanizing characters played by Sean Connery and Roger Moore, but Daniel Craig has been giving us a stellar 007 since his debut in 2006’s “Casino Royale.” In his five James Bond films, Craig has been able to simultaneously capture Bond’s mesmerizing, ruthless talent as a spy and his deep ardor for those he cares about. “No Time to Die” is a thorough exploration of both.

The movie felt more like a cultural event than it did a piece of entertainment, and director Cary Joji Fukunaga clearly understood its significance.

Daniel Craig and fellow lead Léa Seydoux have incredible chemistry, and the film also boasts one of the most thrilling opening scenes in any James Bond movie. The wild, emotional ending is somehow both firm and ambiguous — the audience knows what they just watched, yet plenty of questions remain. — Seamus Rohrer

While “Inside Job” is reminiscent of “Rick and Morty” with its jam-packed episodes and high-tech action, a good deal of the humor comes from the dialogue, which is refreshingly well-written and intricate. The great cast of supporting actors, including Christian Slater and Bobby Lee, help make every character entertaining and eliminate any semblance of filler.

Despite the exhausted template of a Netflix original adult animation, Inside Job is worth investigating. The second episode, “Clone Gunman,” is one of the funniest episodes of television I’ve seen in recent memory. Enjoy this superb Netflix original while you can. — Seamus Rohrer

Album: Call Me If You Get Lost

Tyler, the Creator doesn’t half-ass anything. To him, an album isn’t just a group of songs. He creates alteregos, directs his own music videos and even designs fashion, all in the name of maximizing whatever his current aesthetic is. He may have a complex vision, but to him, it’s all very simple. Tyler Okonma does whatever he wants. So what did he want to do after producing seven solo music projects, creating and headlining his own festivals and winning a Grammy, all before the age of thirty? “I wanted to rap, like I just missed rap,” Okonma confessed during a HOT 97 interview back in August.

Behold Call Me If You Get Lost, Tyler’s most recent endeavor into blending tastefully obnoxious 2000s rap with catchy love songs. Contributors to the record’s raw rap aesthetic include Detroit rapper 42 Dugg (“LEMONHEAD”), one of Tyler’s rap heroes in Lil Wayne (“HOT WIND BLOWS”), as well as Baton Rouge rapper NBA Youngboy (“WUSYANAME”). But it’s not just the guests that set the tone; Okonma delivers some of his most focused yet effortless and braggadocious rapping to date. Tyler’s production remains polished, but with a new intensity reminiscent of the aforementioned mixtape style - notably heard on tracks like “CORSO” and “LUMBERJACK”.

A major storyline throughout the record is Okonma’s experiences navigating a love triangle — explained in detail on “WILSHIRE”. But these complicated emotions result in moments of beautiful pop-rap, with sonics reminiscent of 2019’s IGOR. Songs like “WUSYANAME” and “SWEET/I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE” display Okonma’s evolving knack for crafting catchy yet exquisite love songs. — Donnie Slusher

Video Game: Deathloop I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I restart songs and movies if I feel like I wasn’t enjoying them correctly the first time around, and I will set aside books for months if I’m not in the right frame of mind to read them. Understandably, this habit carries over to other pastimes. Whenever I’m playing a video game, I’m always ready to exit to the menu and hit return to autosave, erasing any slip-ups I made and starting over. So when I heard about a video game where you, an amnesiac assassin named Colt, are stuck in a mysterious time loop living the same day over and over again, I was hooked. The idea of being forced to restart every time you die is nothing new in first-person shooter games. But Deathloop, developed by Arkane Studios and published by Bethesda, turns the idea of a “death loop” on its head.

Instead of punishing you for dying, the game and its storyline become increasingly more complex and bombastic the more you play. You can learn, adapt and uncover more information with every rebirth as you investigate how to “break the loop”. With solid graphics, an intriguing story, colorful main characters and a robust world to explore, it’s no wonder that Deathloop was able to take home “Best Game Direction” at the 2021 Game Awards. — Addison Lathers

Song: “Be Sweet” “Be Sweet” is the signature song off Japanese Breakfast’s stellar third album, Jubilee. The song is dense and bright, with an absolutely infectious chorus. Originally, Michelle Zauner wrote “Be Sweet” to be played by another artist, but understandably fell in love with it as it became the album-defining track that it is now.

“I think the distance of writing it for ‘someone else’ allowed me to take on this sassy 80’s woman-of-the-night persona,” Zauner recalls, capturing the aurora of the song perfectly. “Be Sweet” struts from verse to chorus and back again, oozing popstar confidence. It can often spell disaster when a band strays from their style, intentionally trying to write a pop song. But by initially disassociating herself, Zauner created a genuine pop track without sacrificing her soul. — Seamus Rohrer

TV Show: Only Murders in the Building Very rarely do I stay up past midnight to finish the last episodes of a show, but I absolutely had to know how “Only Murders in the Building” ended. True crime is one of the only genres of podcasts that I actually don’t listen to, but I thought this series was so smart at bringing a classic murder mystery plotline into the modern media era. The dynamic between Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez seems a little random, but the trio makes for a perfect blend of comedy and drama.

The cinematography is stunning, and episode seven is such a creative feat that I don’t want to spoil. There were so many surprises packed into just ten episodes, and I’m really looking forward to another season. It’s a witty, fast-paced series that’s perfect to watch over break. — Hope Karnopp

Album: Little Oblivions Looking back at my Spotify wrapped for 2021, I saw many names you’d associate with me. At this point, I may have a bit of a reputation in our office for being a Coldplay fan, and as expected, they finished top of the pile. However, a name that had somewhat escaped my mind was Julien Baker. Seeing her name in my top five — she placed third — took me by surprise, but I remembered the spring semester and how much I enjoyed her album “Little Oblivions” that was released around then. My favorite track from the album is “Hardline,” although you cannot go wrong with the other tracks and the great songwriting all around which really makes you feel stuff, even when your own experiences are drastically different from Julien’s. I enjoy acoustic songs (the style of her earlier music) but this album marked a shift towards an alternative rock sound (especially with “Hardline”) and I found that even more favorable. I certainly regret not going to her concert in Madison this September gone by, but I won’t let that stop me from enjoying the album or recommending it to others. — Anupras Mohapatra

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Spring Welcome Back 2022

dailycardinal.com

Our Favorite Classes Did syllabus day get you down? Is your Lit class even duller than expected? Does your professor live up to their abysmal Rate My Professor score? Face it, you need to drop a class. Lucky for you, the staff at The Daily Cardinal have compiled a list of the best courses we’ve ever taken and the people that taught them. Add them to your schedule before seats fill up!

ASIAN 376: Manga

PHILOS 241: Introductory Ethics

The best class for me would have to be Philosophy 241. I took the course online in the dreaded fall of 2020, mostly out of sheer interest. It was taught by Emma Prendergast at the time, but regardless of the instructor, this course is valuable because it challenges you to think about the moral code you want to live by. I was introduced to ideas like Utilitarianism and Kant’s categorical imperative and given the opportunity to apply such ideas to realworld ethical issues. While the readings may have been dense, they were rewarding. I will always recommend this course to anyone in need of an intermediate level, 3 credit humanities/social sciences course. It will stick with you for life and probably shape it.

- Anupras Mohapatra

Professor Kern teaches a kick-ass class on Japanese comics. If you hate dense, academic reading, you’ll love this course. The class covers everything from Edo period texts to Sailor Moon. There aren’t any essays or projects, but the ability to think critically and take the class seriously is a must. Kern himself is incredibly funny and easygoing — and super forgiving when it comes to late work/dropping lowest scores. I’d highly recommend his courses to anyone who’s looking to have fun while snagging some intermediate L&S credits. I believe Manga is only taught in the fall, but Kern is currently teaching Introduction to Comics and Graphic Novels, which is just as cool!

- Addison Lathers

COM ARTS 357: History of Animated Film Genuinely amazing class; Prof. Jacobs is great. The screenings were phenomenal experiences and the class changed how I appreciated animated film. I actually failed the class because I took it the first semester of COVID-19 and I decided nothing matters anymore so I didn’t write the final paper.

So, uh, sorry about that. Still great.

- Joe Rickles

GEOG 339: Environmental Conservation

Geography 339 is my favorite class at UW so far! Prof. Naughton gives students the opportunity to work on immersive conservation case study activities from Wisconsin and other parts of the world.

I highly recommend taking it this spring for anyone interested in environmentalism!

- Tyler Katzenberger

COM ARTS 335: Intro to Media

The class teaches the basics of just about every aspect of production — editing, camera work, boom operating, screenwriting, etc. My TA was John Bennett and the professor was Aaron Greer, who is teaching it again this spring. They’re both very knowledgeable and incredibly fun to listen to and interact with. I took this class because it happens to be required for my major, but it was incredibly helpful in teaching me how to use industry-standard equipment/software. It also allowed me to make an educated decision on which aspect of production I’m most interested in focusing on. Plus, highly regarded industry professionals were frequently brought in to talk about their experiences and answer questions. I thought this was cool both as a fan of these people and as a student.

I think even those who don’t plan to be involved in entertainment or TV journalism should take the class because knowing how much thought goes into every detail makes film and television more captivating.

While the class isn’t for slackers, it’s very rewarding to see projects come to fruition.

- Mackenzie Moore

AFROAMER 272: Race and American Politics from the New Deal to the New Right

AA Studies 272 with Alexander Shashko is probably the best way to get your Ethnic Studies credit. It’s the 20th-century history of the US with a focus on the African American experience. It is eyeopening, and Shashko is an incredibly passionate and friendly professor — just everything you want from a class and a professor. His AFROAMER 156, the history of Black American music, is also an awesome class that is actually being offered right now. But 272 is the one I recommend more because it does more to discuss the history of the US and not just the music.

- Jeffrey Brown

science dailycardinal.com

Spring Welcome Back 2022

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The pandemic isn’t over

By Joyce Riphagen SCIENCE EDITOR

It’s been nearly two years since the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a pandemic, and many of us are – understandably – tired of it. Month after month of restrictions, limitations and the various impacts of COVID have left people exhausted, and often apathetic.

This attitude is compounded by the introduction of the Omicron variant. While highly infectious, many report milder illness from the variant, especially those who are fully vaccinated.

With this development, it’s easy to begin thinking of the pandemic as background noise – something that isn’t really all that worrisome.

After all, young and healthy people rarely experience severe illness, and the majority of those hospitalized are unvaccinated.

However, the pandemic is not over. New cases have skyrocketed –

over a million new cases were reported on Jan. 24, compared to 129,676 cases on the same date in 2021.

Omicron has convinced many that it’s safe to resume normal life – sitting indoors without a mask for extended periods or meeting with large groups of people. This may bear a semblance of truth – most severe cases of COVID are now occurring in unvaccinated individuals. In a time where refusing the COVID vaccine is seen by many as a moral failure or indication of ignorance, there’s a temptation to disregard empathy for these people.

After all, they should have just gotten vaccinated, right?

Not quite. Beyond the fact that a human life is a life regardless of if the human is particularly kind, intelligent or morally upstanding, this viewpoint is blind to the struggles of many chronically ill and disabled people who are for some reason unable to take the vaccine, or are

otherwise immunocompromised – people for whom an infection of Omicron could be life-threatening.

It’s an extension of the ableism we saw earlier in the pandemic, when many states considered policies that would put disabled people at a lower priority for ventilator access. The policies included those with Down’s syndrome, autism and dementia.

For people with a disabled or immunocompromised loved one, it’s easy to see why we shouldn’t assume COVID is over – but that’s not enough. We all need to show the same care and empathy for our community that we show to our loved ones, regardless of age, ability, race, sex or class. A society that abandons its infirm in times of crisis has an illness just as serious as COVID itself to contend with.

If that’s not motivation enough, consider that being able-bodied is not a permanent or invincible condition. Anyone can become disabled

at any time.

The lack of serious illness from Omicron in most people poses another danger in the form of asymptomatic cases. Without knowing that you’re sick at all, you could be spreading COVID everywhere you go. This demonstrates the importance of frequent testing – don’t wait for a known exposure to get tested.

UW students and employees can order at-home test kits free of cost at a limit of one per week, providing a simple, effective way to monitor the spread of COVID on campus. More information about testing at UW can be found on the UW-Madison COVID response website.

It’s not all bad. Omicron being a milder variant does provide some hope. It’s beneficial for the virus if it evolves to a point where it coexists with human hosts, rather than killing them – dead hosts don’t spread disease, and high mortality rates drive faster searches for cures

TAYLOR WOLFRAM / STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Frequent testing helps to slow the spread, and is easy and free for UW students and staff. and vaccinations. In time, COVID may become like the flu – annoying, but not dangerous for people with no underlying health conditions.

However, this is not certain. New, more deadly variants could always evolve, especially with the increased resistance to immunizations we’ve seen in the succession of variants.

So, mask up. Consider double masking, which has been proven to greatly reduce the chance of spreading COVID. Test often, if you can.

Get vaccinated, and boosted, if you’re able. Limit gatherings. And, for the love of all that is holy – wash your hands!

Sorry night owls: Why a good night’s rest is vital

By Julia Gozdziewski STAFF WRITER

Over break, many college students utilize their more openended schedules to “catch up on sleep.” It’s a common phrase not only on college campuses but everywhere in a society that prioritizes productivity— where packed schedules and running from place to place reign supreme over rest. People boast on social media about hustling and “the grind”, seemingly alluding to the notion that some prosperous future awaits those who work, work, work, with no play.

Even more dangerous is the game of Suffering Olympics that students engage in to earn the accolade of the “Most Sleep Deprived” or “Most Stressful Schedule”. Think of the times you’ve heard someone complain just a little too gleefully about their insane 27-credit schedule, or how they work 73 hours a week while also attending clown college. Before finals especially, it’s not uncommon to overhear conversations where one student proclaims, “I only got four hours of sleep last night!” prompting another to quip, “Well, lucky you.

I only slept for three!”

And yet, denying your body the rest it requires isn’t to the point of sleep deprivation is not some awesome conquest over the mortal coil, a demonstration of how especially willful one is, to be able to ignore the needs of the flesh.

Ultimately, it is your own health that emerges as the biggest loser.

This isn’t new knowledge.

Most students are aware of the detrimental impact of not getting enough hours of sleep. Even so, all of us commonly find reasons to sacrifice a good night’s rest.

Whether it be to cram for an exam or catch up with friends, or even just to play a couple extra hours of Candy Crush, we often ignore sleep. Perhaps, however,

knowledge of the extent of this decision’s effects on our health could convince more of us to prioritize sleep in the midst of our busy schedules.

Take for example, weight gain. “The Freshman 15” is often blamed on the lack of nutritious options in dining halls and access to home cooked meals. While this is certainly a factor, it is important to note that your own sleep schedule could be a culprit of rising numbers on the scale. This is due to the impact of sleep deprivation on two hormones: ghrelin, which causes us to feel hungry, and leptin, which promotes feelings of fullness. Lack of sleep decreases our levels of leptin while increasing levels of ghrelin — leading us to be more likely to scour our cupboards for a midnight snack and subsequently, overeat.

Unfortunately, it’s not the nutrient-dense snacks that you’re likely to seek out either. A study performed at US Berkeley found that sleep deprivation impairs the brain regions that perform complex judgements and decisions, leading our more primal brain regions to take control of decision-making. This inhibits our ability to control our rewardseeking desires — leading sleepdeprived participants to be far more likely to select sugary and high-calorie snacks than those who slept for the recommended seven to eight hours. Ultimately, this puts night owls at a higher risk of weight gain.

As your waistline suffers from your lack of rest, so does your immune system. Sleep is essential for the body’s ability to build up its forces of antibodies and cytokines that combat viruses and bacteria. Without a sufficient force of these infection-fighting substances, you are much more likely to suffer from illnesses and subsequently, take longer to recover. In a global pandemic, is

it really worth it to lose valuable immunity just so you can trawl the Wikipedia pages of various Bronze-Age art forms?

Even if your sleep-starved body is able to ward off pathogenic invaders, your existing body systems will begin to falter. This is because a lack of sleep halts the repair processes “on your heart, blood vessels, brain and other tissues that help keep chronic disease at bay”. Without the ability to sufficiently perform these restorative functions, we put ourselves at a higher risk for conditions including high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes. This also explains the sluggishness that accompanies a night of too little rest … your body, if not adequately repaired, cannot be expected to adequately function!

So, yes, there may be pride in being the “Most Productive Student” among your friends and classmates. But here’s a secret: all the cool kids (the ones that are really cool) know a primal truth oft forgotten – it’s not a point of pride to be sleep deprived. It’s not some personal accomplishment. Especially in the era of self-care and self-love, treating your body as nothing but a studying meat machine that can run on fumes isn’t just unfashionable, it’s pitiable.

By taking better care of yourself, you may miss out on late-night hangouts or the winning bid in the sleeplessness leaderboards. But you just may find that, frustratingly, your mother/father/grandma/other well-meaning-but-kinda-naggy figure was right – you’ll feel better with sleep.

So, tonight, we’re assigning the first ever Daily Cardinal homework assignment: get home at a reasonable hour, tuck in and get those zzz’s.

BRENNA REA / STAFF ARTIST

A consistent nightime routine can help you stick to a regular bedtime.

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Spring Welcome Back Issue 2022

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‘Are you okay?’

By JOE RICKLES SENIOR SPORTS WRITER

Let’s rip the band-aid off right now.

I was sexually assaulted this past October. I’d like to share my experience in order to spread awareness for survivors of sexual assault — specifically male survivors.

I’ve always been open about my mental health and my struggles with depression, but this is not just another part of that. I have no interest in pity. I want men to understand that they can be victims too, but more importantly that surviving sexual assault isn’t something to be ashamed of.

Of course, women experience sexual assault and similar crimes at a much higher rate, and as such it’s talked about much more. While I am no expert in the field, I aim to share my experience as a cisgender white man.

Sexual assault has nothing to do with who you are, how strong or masculine you are or aren’t, how many people you have or haven’t slept with. It can happen to anyone. And when it does, even in the whirlwind of emotions that follows it, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

I still remember when Terry Crews came out about being sexually assaulted during the #MeToo movement and the jokes at his expense. How could he get assaulted? He’s ripped. He could easily beat up literally ANYONE giving him a hard time. But that means nothing. All that was there in that moment was the fear of losing his career if he didn’t comply. And if you think you’d have done anything differently, you’ve missed the whole point.

Let me put it this way: would you shame someone for getting T-boned in an intersection when they had the right of way? Would you be ashamed if a biker rolled through a red light and smashed into you in the crosswalk? It’s the same damn thing. The same.

Damn. Thing.

Before we start, I’d like to make it clear I have no interest in exposing the identity of my assaulter at

this point. Please consider that I never want to hear this person’s name again to the point where I swipe left any time I see her first name on dating apps.

— I’ll save most of the details.

What’s important is that October night, we were in my room. I was too intoxicated to consent to sex. I repeatedly pushed her away from me. It did nothing. I remember thinking, “God dammit, if f—ing her is what’s gonna get her off me then I’ll just do it.”

That is not consent. That is not clear and enthusiastic. It’s debatable as to whether it’s even a “yes.”

And at this point, it doesn’t matter. She left shortly after. I don’t remember much of the rest of the night. I probably smoked some weed and went to bed as usual.

What I do remember is telling a few of my friends about what happened that night and the next day and getting the same response: “Are you okay?”

Am I okay? Yeah, I was fine, why wouldn’t I be? I’ve had bad hookups before. I’ve kissed people I’ve regretted. Shit happens in college. I publicly kept that same attitude for a day or two; more “haha, what a weird night” than “I am a victim of a crime.” Y’know?

Privately, I understood what had happened the next morning.

I woke up with knots in my stomach. I made no effort to contact her. When she eventually reached out to me, I told her she made me uncomfortable — and she responded with all the right things. “I’m sorry, I was drunk. I shouldn’t have done that. If you don’t want to see me again I get it.”

To tell the truth, it meant absolutely nothing to me. The damage was done.

Something I’d like to make clear is that this is a person I trusted.

This wasn’t some one-night stand that I’d met an hour beforehand. It was someone who, until that night, I got along with really well. It’s my understanding that this is very normal; most studies you’ll come

across say that between 85% and 90% of victims know their attacker.

I think it took me about two weeks after the incident until I even said the words out loud, “I was sexually assaulted.” I said it to one of my close friends. Her response was, “Yeah, what she did to you wasn’t

I’ll never forget that. It was the first time I heard that. I was so used to discounting my own feelings about this whole thing; I always told myself so many people had experiences so much worse than mine. I should just be grateful it wasn’t worse.

GRAPHIC BY MADISON SHERMAN

right.” I didn’t realize it before that, but the whole time, I’d been blaming myself. I’m the one that invited her over. I should’ve known that would happen. If I didn’t want that to happen, I could’ve just had a fine night to myself, right?

Of course not. I went back and read the texts from that night. It was all manipulative; “If you don’t invite me over you hate me.” “Why are you mad at me?” — That kind of stuff.

A few days after talking with my first friend, my roommates were throwing a party. A few of my close friends were gonna be there. At some point in the party, we got away from the main floor to catch up. I explained the whole situation — (a few beers deep) — and ended the story nonchalantly assuring them that it was ok; it was whatever.

To which one of them said the words I’d been waiting for: “Joe, it doesn’t have to be okay.”

We ended up having a pretty good night. After some very tight hugs, I went home. I have really amazing friends.

After opening up to my friends, I finally decided to talk to my therapist about it — another person I’m grateful for. She asked me two questions. The first: “Are you okay?” The same question I’d heard a few times. The second, I hadn’t heard yet: “Do you want to report it?”

I never considered getting the police involved. I still think it was the right decision to avoid that. I don’t really, how you say, trust police officers. Especially the Madison Police Department/ University of Wisconsin Police Department when it comes to matters of sex-related crimes. Could I trust them to listen to me? Would they believe that I, a six-foot (okay, 5’11”), 200-pound college senior, got taken advantage of by someone half my size or just laugh me out of

the room?

Regardless, it was the first time that question was even floated to me as an option. Two-plus weeks after everything took place. And frankly, that’s the part that still eats at me. Should I have reported it?

Would things be better? I think the sensible answer is no.

Is that how I wanted to spend my last semester of college?

Asking my parents to pay thousands for a lawyer, sitting in a courtroom forced to relive one of the worst nights of my life while the person whose fault it is sat in the same room? I went to the same party as her once since then and could hardly speak to anyone until she left. I couldn’t do that every day. Justice would be nice, but it just wasn’t worth it.

I now understood the depth of what happened to me. I talked to my most trusted friends and my therapist. I handled everything exactly how I wanted to with the resources I had. So, what’s left?

Some sort of grand finale, a deep realization that will allow me to transcend this point of my life and leave it behind forever?

No. That doesn’t exist. It never will. It’s a weight I’ll carry with me every day for the rest of my life.

It’s something that’s permanently altered the way I look at relationships, at hookups, at myself.

Being a sexual assault survivor is part of who I am now. It was not my choice. It’s never anybody’s own choice. All I can ask for is to ensure that it’s not a weight I have to handle alone. Thanks to my friends, family, therapist and even you just for reading this, it isn’t.

And I’m forever grateful for that.

Joe Rickles is a senior studying journalism. He was the Daily Cardinal Sports Editor from 2020-2021. Send all comments to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

The student perspective: the reality of your college major

By EVA LASKIN STAFF WRITER

I came into the University of Wisconsin-Madison as a freshman thinking I was a business major. Was I actually? Well, no.

I was admitted into pre-business, but that felt as real to me as being a coveted direct admit business major.

People would always ask me, “Why do you want to study business?” and, to be perfectly honest, I had no idea. The only plausible answer I could formulate was that I wanted to be a CEO — leading a company and making a difference; studying business seemed like the only path to achieving such dreams.

I began to define myself as a pre-business student, embedding the major into part of my personality. I was envious of every peer I met who was a direct admit to the business school and I relentlessly picked their brains in order to understand how they got in — and how I could too.

The application consisted of an essay, resume and GPA submission. The essay was meant to tell the admissions team why you want to study business, what you will contribute to the Wisconsin School of Business and what you will gain from studying business. As I saw it, this essay was my golden ticket into business school. I had wanted to study business my whole life, and all of my prior activities and involvement proved this. The competition was fierce, yet in my mind I was convinced I was going to study business in college. I felt as though I was born to.

On June 15, 2021, my path forever changed. I was working as a cashier at Nordstrom Rack when my phone buzzed in my back pocket. I finished ringing up my customer and checked to see the source of the notification.

On my screen was an outlook notification reading: “Update to Your Wisconsin School of Business Application.” My heart

began to beat out of my chest, my hands were shaking and I felt short for breath. As soon as permission was granted, I escaped to the restroom to uncover my acceptance, doubtless.

I stepped into the bathroom, logged into my account and opened up the letter. I squinted at the decision letter — all I could see is one dreadful word

PHOTO COURTESY OF BRYAN RICHTER

— denied. I kept re-opening my eyes, making sure that I could see clearly. Yet each time I read the word, it was still the same.

Denied.

I was in denial. I thought to myself how there must be a mistake. This must be a joke. I am a

business student. How could the admissions office not see that?

Continue reading on page 13

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I drove home from work crying so hard I could barely see the road ahead of me. I tried to tell my parents the news and the words couldn’t even leave my mouth. I was shattered beyond belief and did not know how I would return to a school not as a business student.

The rest of my summer was filled with random cries, thoughts of transferring, self doubt and a lot of advisor appointments to figure out what to do with the next three long years of college. My parents and I would spend countless hours going through the UW-Madison major list trying to find anything that would interest me. I began to think that my college experience was going to be useless. I was never into science, not fit for an engi-

Spring Welcome Back 2022 neer and I always told myself that I hated to write.

There seemed to be no options.

At present, I am a second semester sophomore studying Economics and Communication Science. Shocking isn’t it?

I found not just one but two majors of interest.

In reality, someone at 18-years-old applying to colleges does not know what they are meant to do in life. A college major does not define who you are, how successful you will be or your career path. Change can and should be a good thing even when it does not always feel like it. High schools and colleges need to remind students that college comprises some of the most pivotal years of students’ lives, and you should be open to change. As

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someone who wants to control everything around me, this was a hard but necessary idea to accept.

Ironically, I now believe that I was not meant to get into the business school. In life you cannot control your destiny, but you can always control your outlook on your future.

And who knows? Maybe I will change my major again as I learn more about what I am driven to do in life — now, I am always open to change.

Eva Laskin is a sophomore studying Economics and Communication Science.

Do you think a college degree defines students? Send all comments to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

PHOTO COURTESY OF ALEX E. PROIMOS / FLICKR

Choosing a major is not the end of the world, it can and probably will be changed.

Who in the world is Jay O. Rothman? view Cardinal View editorials represent The Daily Cardinal’s organizational opinion. Each editorial is crafted independent of news coverage.

Following a two-year search process, the wait is finally over! The Board of Regents has selected the eighth president to lead the University of Wisconsin System Schools, replacing former Republican Gov. Tommy Thompson who held the interim position since 2020 while entertaining us with his antics and dangerous hobbies.

So who is our new system president?

The Board of Regents selected a “business-minded” attorney lacking previous experience in higher education administration in a closed-door meeting. Jay O. Rothman was unanimously selected over UW-Eau Claire Chancellor Jim Schmidt.

Rothman has held an executive position as chairman and CEO of the Milwaukee law firm Foley & Lardner since 2011. Before his career in law, Rothman earned his bachelor’s degree from Marquette University and later his law degree from Harvard Law School.

In other words, Rothman has no experience, personally or professionally, with higher public education.

Perhaps Rothman expressed some revolutionary ideas throughout the interview process with the Board of Regents.

Maybe his business and law experience give him an edge in solving problems faced by the university system — increasing diversity in schools, making school more affordable and securing more funding for public education from the state.

The problem is we don’t know his ideas — we don’t know anything about the process because the interviews were held behind closed doors without significant input from UW System faculty and staff, students or community members. There was no pub-

lic forum.

Before Rothman was named for the position, he made a 24-minute media appearance where he answered eight questions that fell short of solving the above issues. Reporters inquired about “concrete steps,” on a number of issues.

At one point Rothman answered, “... Do I have the answers now? No.”

imperative to the success of not only UW-Madison, but all of the UW System Schools, that the student voice be put at the forefront of any decisions made by this new Rothman administration.

If Rothman is to keep his promise, he must ensure that students are involved and consulted within administrative decisions affecting us. Because of Rothman’s lack of experience with higher public education, it is even more critical that students are heard since Rothman himself has not experienced the student perspective of his position.

Let’s face it. He didn’t even

there are a number of students and community representatives on the search committee.

This committee has already shown more transparency than the search for the new system president. Two sessions for student input are planned by the committee, the first on Thursday, Jan. 27, from 1-2 p.m., with the second set for Monday, Jan. 31, from 1-2 p.m.

In-person listening sessions will be held at the Marquee Room in Union South, or can be joined online at https:// www.wisconsin.edu/regents/.

For those of us readying to attend these sessions, or for the rest of us quietly wondering

If what we hope for is an individual with a background in higher education, we may have to hold our breath.

Institutions across the country are taking part in a broader trend of boards looking to people with non-academic backgrounds to lead systems and even run colleges. A 2018 study

by Virginia Commonwealth University found that 40.5% of university presidents had never held a tenured or tenuretrack-eligible position in academia. If we’re interested in diversity, we may also be in trouble. Of the 44 applications for the presidential search, just seven were women. Only 11

PHOTO COURTESY OF UW SYSTEM SCREEN CAPTURE

Students had no input on choosing the new President of the UW System, Jay O. Rothman, who has no current goals for the system he inherited from other white men.

Perhaps as an ode to his lack of experience, Rothman has expressed a desire to lead by “listening first.” Maybe that’s true, and hopefully, we can see that play out.

We, as The Daily Cardinal Editorial Board, deem it

go here, or any other UW System school.

This sentiment further applies to the search for a new chancellor here at UW-Madison following Chancellor Blank’s departure. Some of those steps have already been taken, as

what qualities our next leader should have, we can look to the president search as a signal for what may come — and how hard students and faculty may have to push to see a chancellor chosen who reflects our needs and values.

identified as a person of color.

Regardless of what is to come, the UW-Madison campus community — and the UW System at large — deserves better than a closeddoor decision.

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Spring Welcome Back 2022

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Betty White remembered as ‘ruthless,’ fueled by vitriol

By Mackenzie Moore ALMANAC EDITOR

Millions of people were saddened on New Year’s Eve by the untimely death of Betty White.

Born in 1922 and first appearing on television in 1949, it seemed as though America’s Golden Girl had been rewarded for her humor and generosity with complete immortality.

However, those closest to White privately remember her as “ruthless” and credit her longevity to her “pure, unadulterated vitriol towards humanity.”

This is a hard break from what generations of people thought they knew about the actress. Still, it should not come as too big of a surprise to those who have seen White’s work in the last 10 years. Often portrayed as grouchy and entitled, the vast majority of viewers believed that this was making fun of her decades-long reputation as a beacon of light and laughter. In truth, Betty White was done pretending, and those in the industry were too sick of her shit to cover it up.

It is unknown where the “Mary Tyler Moore Show” actress gained such a deep dispassion for her fellow man, instead preferring the company of animals. Notably, White has been captured cozying up to and feeding marshmallows to a captive grizzly bear. Conveniently working under the guise of an animal advocate, it can now be surmised that she was working towards gaining the support of the entire animal kingdom in preparation for her ultimate uprising and installation as world ruler.

In the weeks since her passing, some have taken to social media to share their own stories about the television icon. The most telling comes from current “Late Night” host and former “Saturday Night Live” head writer and Weekend Update anchor Seth Meyers.

“RIP Betty White, the only SNL host I ever saw get a standing ovation at the after party. A party at which she ordered a vodka and a hotdog and stayed til the bitter end,” Meyers tweeted.

At first glance, this sounds

Have people considered not dying?

By Jeffrey Brown STAFF WRITER

Two years into this pandemic and, while there is ample criticism of the government and other institutions for failing to implement measures that make it easier for people to be safe, I don’t see enough criticism of those who are dying.

Despite two whole years to prepare, many continue to have preexisting conditions like cancer or being Black even though these are well known factors that increase the odds of dying from COVID-19.

Others refuse to vaccinate because the people and platforms they trust to inform them have been filling their brains with made-up nonsense for two years.

It’s simply ridiculous how many people are convinced this disease isn’t a big deal. How is it

Courtesy of Pixabay

that we are two whole years into this and people are still dying?

Don’t they know that the hospitals are full and the medical staff are exhausted? A recent poll of those in health professions found that one-fifth of them plan to leave the medical field in the next two years.

Why would anyone burden them further by requiring intensive care, then dying anyway?

It’s deeply inconsiderate for people to die, and I’m sick of pretending it isn’t. We as a country need to move forward from this pandemic, but the people dying from COVID-19 are holding us back. If we as a nation want to remain competitive in the global economy, we need our people to take a hint from those in much of Europe and Asia by not dying anymore.

like an uplifting story about an 88 year-old woman basking in the afterglow of having gotten through a week of one of the most notoriously stressful work environments in television history with great success; after all, her performance went on to garner her an Emmy for “Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series.”

Unfortunately, it is now rumored that White actually boiled a hotdog in her Los Angeles home and flew it with her to Manhattan, refrigerating the storebought sausage for a week in order to avoid contributing to the livelihood of the local hotdog vendors.

Additionally, the end Meyers refers to was “bitter” by default because White was the only one left in the room.

People will forever remember Betty White in a myriad of ways, whether it be for her work in television or for doing hidden rituals in the woods. What everyone can

ZOE BENDOFF /THE DAILY CARDINAL

agree on is that by suffering a stroke on Christmas and passing away on New Year’s Eve,

she has ruined two holidays, cementing her status as a stonecold bitch.

Ways to enjoy a Madison winter you can avoid the true burden of personal accountability that no one enjoys dealing with. A sense of responsibility is lost when one claims that their own compulsions are resigned to factors beyond their control.

So why spend time struggling to improve upon yourself when you can just sit there and complain about how cold it is? You might as well curl up in those sheets you haven’t washed since Thanksgiving and take a deep dive through your camera roll.

Tip 2: Stare longingly out of a gray window ZOE BENDOFF /THE DAILY CARDINAL You may not be able to chuck die in your backyard anymore

By Owen Shao, Mackenzie Beam with that foot of all consuming STAFF WRITERS snow eating up every toss, but As the slightly sunburned you sure as heck can reminisce complexion of traveled UW over when you could! Invented students slowly returns to a in the 1920s by housewives naturally pasty state, a simple leading unfulfilled marriages, question arises for those inhab- the art of gazing out of bleak iting Madison, Wisconsin: structural openings can foster “What the fuck is there to do a sense of deep appreciation during winter?” Classwork and can even result in a blissful aside, there is a notable lack state. That being said, most opiof fun activities to fill the few oids also seem to do the trick. hours of light afforded each Both are completely valid ways day. Staying preoccupied in to pass the time. a winter hellscape may seem Tip 3: Make a rash cosmetic daunting at first, however your decision friends at the Almanac have As a last ditch effort to feel compiled some tips and tricks something, modifying your to help you lead a productive physical appearance is a great and rewarding winter. way to stir the emotional pot.

Tip 1: Submit to winter Submit to the feminine urge depression arising within. Get in front Give up. Instead of stress- of that bathroom mirror with ing over important school your kitchen scissors and start assignments or exercising on chopping. On the off chance a consistent basis, simply stop you find yourself unable to trying. By allowing yourself to part with your luscious locks, fall headfirst into the comfort- there are always more permaing arms of seasonal sadness, nent options. A nose piercing

or tattoo is especially recommended for people with conservative parents who pay their bills. Of course, there are easier, more natural compromises if none of these appeal to you. Let everyone know you truly have given up and grow out that sparse mustache. The dull itch of that manly face fur will undoubtedly give you a confidence boost even when it’s concealed by a mask.

Tip 4: Buy a cat You ever wonder what would happen if he didn’t pull out, but also can barely afford to pay for your own degenerate lifestyle? Well look no further than a furry feline friend! There are few pets that can elicit such a deep paternal instinct within its owner and yet go entirely neglected when more pressing matters arise. These independent infants are great practice for raising an absolute piece of shit kid. Better luck on the second one.

Look, winter sucks — anyone who says that it doesn’t is a goddamn liar. Even so, there are some silver linings that should be taken into consideration. If not for winter, what would make summer so enjoyable? If not for winter, what would become of the tourism industry? If not for winter, how would local micro celebrity photographers be able to keep abusing the same creatively bankrupt drone shot of a snow covered capitol building, as if it holds more artistic merit the eighth time around. Apologies for losing my train of thought — it must be this weather.

We're always looking for more funny and insightful writers with fresh takes on topics ranging from the UW campus to international news. Any and all submissions are more than welcome. You can send your submissions and any comments or questions to almanac@dailycardinal.com. All articles featured in Almanac are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

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“ALREADY KNOW THE WEATHER’S NICE UP THERE”

BY HANNAH KENNEDY

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DIRECTIONS: Fill in each row, column and square with the numbers 1-9

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MAZE

DIRECTIONS: Start at the green arrow, and work your way out to the red arrow.

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