LIFE’S UNDERTAKINGS FINDING THE PATH or betrayal. Despite the giant hole or drastic change in our lives, we’re pushed toward a new destination and way of living. The grief journey is not the Yellow Brick Road and the pathway does not offer up red shoes to anyone.
I believe the majority of us are admiring our new Covid curves and wondering how that wintertime carb-and-couch diet failed us so spectacularly. But even tighter belt buckles and adorable double chins can’t erase the smiles emerging from under our masks and sun hats. Each of us, no matter where we are on our life path, is dethawing from the cold darkness of the past 15 months. Sunshine is always welcome this time of year and so are smiles, hugs, in-person visits and social gatherings. The list of what we’re grateful for these days is both endless and joyful. We’re grateful because our summer, and future, finally look brighter and better. When looking to the future with hope, faith and positive expectation, rest assured we’re planting new, wonderful potentials for ourselves and the world around us. So, if life feels as if it’s finally following the right track and the light at the end of the tunnel is just that, and not an oncoming train, wonderful. Your positivity and brightness can dispel a lot of darkness for those of us still stumbling around looking for our inner light switch. Honestly, I look forward to feeling a lot more positive. So much of the world’s thinking about the future, fed and distorted by the constant doom news, has been dominated by fear, division and negativity. Summertime is naturally and undeniably a time of growth and blossoming; a lush opportunity to look within and take stock of what we’ve been planting inside our hearts and heads. You don’t need to live as a self-help guru to understand that a negative mindset is pretty much hands-down the worst way to approach a new season or big life changes. Yet grief and loss demand the impossible from us. In grief circles we often talk about a “new normal” that emerges, unwelcome and unwanted, when a loved one dies or we suffer a catastrophic event
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When we’re grieving we can’t go home again but we can design a new map and build a new homestead. If, during pain and hardship, we access inner reservoirs of strength while hanging tight to the helping hands of family, friends and community, we discover a new benevolent life path. Sources of support are a kind of storm-proof signpost for the bereaved; our helping hands help guide them toward a safe and sheltered harbour. Right now, there are billions of people wondering how to best navigate this strange new world that’s emerging. I doubt I need to point out that grief is a lot like lockdown life. We’re closed in and shut down. When fear reigns over our actions and decisions, a stampede of emotions and expectations is activated. Life indeed feels nasty, brutish and short when every step forward feels shaky. For me and my staff, our lives, like yours, have been transformed by the pandemic. Fifteen months of shutdown affects mind, body and spirit no matter how well-versed you are in life’s seasons. Our doors never closed at the funeral home (imagine if they had). Death’s constant dark shadow, and its demand that the living take care of the dead, is what makes birth and life so vibrant and precious. At a time when so few people could gather responsibly and without fear of reprimand, funeral homes offered a private refuge to family and friends wanting to mourn and grieve together. We never closed, we were never shut down and we had zero service interruptions. I don’t share these realities from a place of “Yay, funeral homes!” but rather as a reminder that the bereaved in 2020 and 2021 are especially vulnerable and fragile right now. Funeral homes did the very best we could for grieving families although we were still obligated to enforce size limits on gatherings, social distancing, etc. (It’s absolutely terrible playing bylaw officer and crossing guard to heartbroken and sad families.)
ETOBICOKE LAKESHORE PRESS
