America is Freedom? Stand-Up Comedian Lucas Zelnick Disagrees: ‘America Is Horses’
Amber Cherry Senior Guide Editor
Gen Z or Gen Zelnick? The internet’s newest stand-up sweetheart, Lucas Zelnick, sold out D.C. Improv Sept. 6th. The New York native’s crowd-work clips bantering with audience members have amassed over 40 million views and 160,000 social media followers. Zelnick is known for his edgy style: He’ll dip his toe over the line and then retract back, always keeping the audience on their toes and wondering if he will get himself in trouble — but he never seems to go overboard. He has mastered the art of saying what everyone’s thinking, hilariously pointing out our subconscious biases along the way. His straight-up style along with his honesty about his cushy upbringing has won over TikTok.
The Washington, D.C.-based comedian Jenny Questell hosted the show, opening with a short and hilarious set on her peculiar habit of dating gay men. Questell referred to herself as the “revolving door” that
men walk through to come out of the closet.
Jamie Wolf, a stand-up often showcased in Zelnick’s videos, was, fittingly, the featured opener. One of Wolf’s best bits featured frankly luscious hair, as he shook his head violently to reenact his greatest fear: making conversation as you skydive with the instructor attached to you. Wolf does, however, admit that this is a first-world problem: Nobody looking for their next meal, he said, is worried about their next social interaction.
After the show, your enterprising reporter got a chance to ask Wolf about his standup career and, of course, Dave Chappelle.
“Chappelle discovered me at an open mic but I don’t even like Chappelle!” Wolf told The Hoya. Of course, when your reporter probed him later about the most famous individuals he’s met, he replied, “Chappelle!” I couldn’t help but take it as a joke, but this time Wolf was earnest.
Lucas Zelnick followed Wolf’s set with one of his own — spotlighting his sister, a seemingly endless fountain of hilarious moments. For one class project, her response
to “America is…?” was “horses.” “America is Horses” t-shirts now cover Zelnick’s merch table. Zelnick proudly told The Hoya that the funniest person he knows is “my sister.”
Throughout the show, Zelnick attempted to do crowd work with Joe, a psychologist in the audience. Zelnick only came to know Joe’s name after the audience confirmed Joe was lying when he introduced himself with a “Tibetan name.” Of course, I had to ask Zelnick whether he’d connect with Joe after the show — to which Zelnick joked, “He’s my enemy.”
While Joe may not hear from Zelnick, there was one lucky fan in the crowd who asked if Zelnick could tag him and give him tips for getting into comedy. Zelnick was more than happy to help, since at least this audience member gave his real name.
Although Zelnick is on the more successful side of stand-up, the gigs don’t always pay enough — commercials and social media marketing are where the money’s at. Zelnick was even sporting a Monster t-shirt and sipping on a Monster energy drink as he walked up to the stage for his 7:30 p.m.
@LUCASZELNICK/INSTAGRAM
Lucas Zelnick talks where he draws the comedic line, weird commercial partnerships and the funniest person he knows: his sister.
set. He told audiences about a comedian’s worst nightmare: being publicly heckled for all to see. For brand content, one company planted influencers at Zelnick’s show to act as hecklers without telling him.
During the show, Zelnick, who was raised Jewish but does not practice, discussed the interactions between his cultural background and his views on the ongoing conflict in Gaza, criticizing family members for their support of Israeli military action.
Although laughter can sometimes heal divided audiences, sometimes it can spur further conflict — yet Zelnick remained open about his opinion throughout.
How do you balance the paying audience’s desires with your own beliefs? Zelnick said he always aims to stay true to his beliefs even as he toes the line between humor and discomfort.
“It’s a combo of things, either when it’s something I don’t believe or if it loses the audience, then I will stop,” Zelnick said. Where to next? Well, Zelnick is a fan of the theaters — the historic, ornate, gold-plated buildings that congregate in older East Coast metropolises. The next time we see him in the District, he’s hoping it’ll be at the historic Lincoln Theatre.
Mr. Georgetown: More Than Just a Pageant
Elizabethe Bogrette Senior Guide Editor
“Club culture” at Georgetown University has a myriad of connotations. Competitive. Toxic. Intense. Students often prioritize their applications over their coursework during the first few weeks of the semester, and after bouts of interviews and essays, some say it’s harder to get into a club on campus than to get into Georgetown itself.
In the midst of this rigorous environment, there’s a counterculture of acceptance, joy and community that brings out the unseriousness of a system known for its severity. The epitome of this phenomenon is a campus institution that celebrates the exuberance of club culture: Mr. Georgetown.
A staple of Homecoming Weekend since 2005, Mr. Georgetown — an annual pageant run by the Georgetown Program Board (GPB) — offers a chance for male-identifying seniors to represent the essence of their respective organizations through dance performances, talent shows and comedy sketches. Mr. Georgetown has had only an uptick in popularity since its founding, with seats selling out in eight minutes in 2023 and crashing CampusGroups for almost an hour this year as throngs of students tried to secure a coveted ticket.
But it’s not only fun and games; Mr. Georgetown represents a way for clubs to make their mark on campus, spike interest in their programs and come together to cheer on their beloved leaders. For the senior participants, it’s a “thank you” to the organizations that have welcomed them with open arms.
For Mr. Georgetown University Grilling Society (GUGS) Max Russo (SFS ’25), joining GUGS
felt written in the stars after he transferred to Georgetown during his sophomore year from George Washington University (GW).
“I’ve always loved to cook, but I remember applying to Georgetown as a miserable GW student and thinking, ‘I really want to engage with students in a fun way and forget about the daily grind,’” Russo told The Hoya. “One day I was looking at the website and they mentioned GUGS; I mentioned it to my friends back home and they’re like, ‘Dude, you have to go to Georgetown.’”
Mr. Mask & Bauble Noah Vinogradov (SFS ’25) said he joined the campus theater troupe after a chance encounter at a party.
“I was a sophomore transfer student, and I was invited to my RA’s birthday party — I’m not sure about the legality of that — but I was just chatting with someone who was talking about how they were directing a show and needed a pianist,” Vinogradov told The Hoya. “So I say, ‘I play piano, you know, I’m kind of looking for opportunities on campus.’ And they’re like, ‘Why don’t you come to the rehearsal tomorrow night?’ So I showed up.”
Following his first show, Mask and Bauble’s annual Night of Musical Scenes, he has since been a part of two other shows on campus and is set to direct the spring musical, “Sweeney Todd.”
Mr. Ultimate Frisbee Andreas Moeller (MSB ’25), Mr. Rock Climbing Jordan Schuman (CAS ’25) and our very own Mr. The Hoya Clayton Kincade (SFS ’25) all ventured outside of their self-imposed comfort zones to find joy in what they now love — and continue to do so through participating in “Mr. Georgetown.”
Full disclosure: Clayton Kincade (SFS ’25) previously served as a Guide Staff Writer, Guide Deputy Editor,
Senior Guide Editor, Executive Editor and Senior News Editor from Fall 2021 to Fall 2023.
Kincade joined The Hoya in his first semester at Georgetown with no previous newspaper experience — starting his Hoya career by writing movie reviews for The Guide and spending five semesters on the paper, including three on its board of editors. Kincade said he hopes to show students that there is nothing to fear in trying new things through participating in Mr. Georgetown.
“Just pursue the things that you’re interested in, no matter if you’re coming to a school where it feels like everyone else has so much experience in whatever they’re doing,” Kincade told The Hoya Moeller had never played ultimate frisbee before joining Georgetown’s club team and said he wants to inspire audiences to try new things — including, he hopes, ultimate frisbee.
“One of my roommates is a captain, and we were just talking, and he said, ‘You’re representing the whole club, people will see you and that brings attention to the club,’” Moeller told The Hoya. “They see big, bold letters on your sash and they hear about it when you get announced: ‘Mr. Ultimate Frisbee.’”
Schuman came to campus his first year with brand-new climbing shoes his family had bought for a summer vacation and decided to try out club rock climbing as a chance to use them. Three years on, Schuman said he is proud to represent his club at Mr. Georgetown.
“I think it’s a really cool thing to do, it’s a fun, silly thing,” Schuman told The Hoya. “Having fun, having a good time is the whole goal of it. But I think it’s also really cool to represent Rock Climbing, because that’s been my main, defining thing at Georgetown.”
INSTAGRAM/@GTOWNPB; COLLAGE BY HAAN JUN (RYAN) LEE
Homecoming season wouldn’t be complete without the Mr. Georgetown pageant. Elizabethe Bogrette (SFS ’27) discusses its implications on club culture on campus.
For contestants representing affinity groups such as Mr. Asian American Student Association (AASA) Aidan Ng (SFS ’25) and Mr. Caribbean Culture Circle Ajani Jones (CAS ’25), Mr. Georgetown is more than just a club showcase, it’s representation for their cultural communities.
Whether it’s through AASA’s own events, such as the club’s original musical “(no) pressure,” which Ng produced, or through the previous Mr. AASAs Lucas Lin (SFS ’24) and Ed Shen (MSB ’23) competing in “Mr. Georgetown,” Ng said continuing the legacy of Asian American representation on campus is important to him.
“It feels really good that I was able to fool everyone into singing my songs and playing my music. And I’m really proud of that. But I’m even more proud of the friends I made and the people who continued to do the musical even after I left,” Ng told The Hoya. “Because now it’s not my show at all, it’s their show, and I’m really happy that there’s a space for Asian American theater that started with AASA.”
Jones, on the other hand, said they see Mr. Georgetown as a way for clubs such as the Caribbean Culture Circle to foster community for marginalized communities on campus and display the often-overlooked aspects of their cultures.
“I wanted to take that chance to have a fun memory in my senior year and use that as a further opportunity to bring attention to this club that’s super important to me, but also bring my culture, which is such a huge part of who I am, to a more central stage,” Jones told The Hoya. With 17 contestants, this year’s Mr. Georgetown is larger than both the 2022 and 2023 iterations; Mr. Innovo Consulting Ulises Olea Tapia (SFS ’25), Mr. Lecture Fund Liam McGraw (CAS ’25), Mr. Hilltop Consultants Thomas Fogarty (SFS ’25), Mr. Pep Band Nicholas Vianna (CAS ’25), Mr. Philonomosian Society John DiPierri (SFS ’25), Mr. D.C. Reads Joe Vitali (CAS ’25), Mr. Blue & Gray Josh Ford (SFS ’25), Mr. ESCAPE Koby Twist (CAS ’25), Mr. Hoya Blue Elliot Landolt (MSB ’25), and Mr. The Voice Cole Kindiger (CAS ’25) will also take to the stage in Gaston Hall this year. Full disclosure: Liam McGraw (CAS ’25) previously served as Senior Opinion Editor in Spring 2023.
From promoting their own found communities to encouraging audiences to break out of their shells to let their cultural backgrounds take center stage, Mr. Georgetown represents much more than just a Homecoming tradition — it’s a shining example of how we can come together as a community to create inclusive, welcoming spaces that allow every Hoya to find a home on campus. But, at the end of the day, every pageant needs a winner; a judging panel of students, professors and graduates will crown one contestant Mr. Georgetown at the Sept. 20 show.
TELEVISION
The 76th Emmys: Investigating the Slow Death Of Television’s Once-Great Award Show
Grace Ko
Hoya Staff Writer
The Emmys have long since cemented their reputation as the ultimate judge of prestige and talent in television. With my hopeful picks for this year and my cup of tiramisu in hand, I was prepped and ready for television’s biggest night.
As I watched, however, it became clear something was amiss. The laughter was scattered, fading in and out from the microphone more than usual. The speeches were covered in orchestral music barely 30 seconds in. The pattern was clear: Award shows have been falling victim to the same tired formula, and with the Emmys, the killer had struck once more.
At first glance, the many moving parts of the Emmys seem to form a picture of a typical award show. Hosts Eugene Levy and Dan Levy, the father-son comedy duo well known for their work together in “Schitt’s Creek,” delivered their beginning
monologue with natural chemistry that brought a well-crafted, amusing beginning to the night.
The ceremony also played with interesting ideas as part of its overarching theme of reunions. In particular, this theme was seen clearly when some presenters were grouped together by their previous well-known roles in television tropes such as TV dads, moms, doctors and lawyers. The sets in which these presenters were introduced were small ecosystems in and of themselves. Live television sets with detailed backgrounds, props and extras accompanied the presenters on stage.
When Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from “Glee”) and Brendan Hunt (Coach Beard from “Ted Lasso”), both TV coaches, were presenting, sets of lockers and racks of sports equipment were rolled on stage as the electronic background changed to the familiar tiled walls of a locker room.
However, these creative strengths were not enough to save the Emmys from their tragic fate. Overall, there was a burdening air of exhaustion to the program, exacerbated by the ceremony’s
strict schedule, which often prevented the winners from making their speeches.
Time limits on acceptance speeches is not a bad idea in general, but the 45-second cap seemed to impede the pacing of the show as well as the ability of the honorees, especially first-time Emmy winners, to process and form coherent sentences. Often, the camera would pan immediately away from the winner to the next award presentation, moving at a breakneck speed that felt unnecessary for a show that’s already three hours in length. Ultimately, the biggest factor in the demise of the Emmys is arguably their primary focus: the awards. The U.S. entertainment industry has long been criticized for its overall lack of recognition given to diverse stories. However, a greater variety of stories have gotten a chance to shine in recent years as reflected in this year’s Emmys, which feature shows such as “Shogun,” a Japanese period piece detailing the complicated political and societal landscape of Japan at the onset of the 17th century. “Shogun” broke re-
IMDB
Have the Emmys reached their expiration date at the ripe old age of 76?
Grace Ko (CAS ’27) argues they have, but can our top investigator figure out the cause of death?
cords at the 76th Emmys, taking home both lead acting awards and best series in the drama category. It’s both encouraging and inspiring to see a show with nearly all its dialogue in Japanese — and therefore featuring the full presence of subtitles — be recognized for its wonderful storytelling and performances. Yet the excitement brought by shows like “Shogun” feels rare to the Emmys, which leads me to what I believe is the true killer: predictability.
When I first looked at the nominees for outstanding lead actor in a comedy series, one name jumped out as the likely victor: Jeremy Allen White of “The Bear.” Although I love Martin Short’s performance in season 3 of “Only Murders in the Building” and D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai’s performance in the final season of “Reservation Dogs,” I felt that, based on how the previous year went, there was a smaller chance of them winning. Indeed, White took home the award for the second year in a row. While there is nothing inherently terrible about honoring the same good shows again, it does feed into the cycle of only celebrating a certain selection of stories.
With the Emmys, the odds of new and exciting stories being nominated seem slim to none, let alone the chances of actually winning the award. To me, this is why the “Shogun” sweep was exciting to see. Predictability is not exactly the most fascinating culprit of this crime; however, it’s one that is a consistent and surprisingly effective method to tune out interest.
While watching the results unfold, I was left wondering if it was really a lack of quality storytelling in the television industry that caused this predictability to grow or if it was simply the Emmys’ narrow look at what is currently present in the world of television. Though formal recognition is not necessary to have an amazing show, award recognition — especially recognition from a well-established ceremony such as the Emmys — is undeniably one of the forces that influences what executives greenlight and what is eventually put onto our screens.
While the Emmys are still recognizing amazing storytelling and performances, I want to be able to see new names and stories across those nominations. I want to be able to see these stories have the chance to hold that iconic trophy with all its socially-constructed prestige and bravado in hopes of inspiring storytellers of all different backgrounds to share their own stories through the world of television. Without that, any hope of the Emmys’ resurrection next year could be lost.
Ticketmaster Ruins Oasis’ Reunion for Working-Class Fans
Haan Jun (Ryan) Lee Hoya Staff Writer
In the song “Don’t Look Back in Anger,” Oasis sings: “And so, Sally can wait / She knows it’s too late as we’re walkin’ on by.” I can’t help but relate to Sally. So, Ryan can wait; I knew it was too late when I saw the queue number 97,224 on Ticketmaster. In front of my laptop at 3 a.m. on Aug. 31, I saw my chances to witness the dramatic reunion of the greatest ’90s Britpop band — sorry not sorry, Blur fans — slide away. But this story isn’t about my inability to secure tickets on the Oasis Live ’25 tour. Rather, it’s about what Oasis means to me and millions of other fans –– nostalgia, poetic hedonism, bleak positivity –– and how Ticketmaster undermined, for me, the band’s cultural iconography.
From the beginning, Oasis was a turbulent and strife-laden band. Liam and Noel Gallagher — the brothers who form the core of the band — grew up in Manchester, U.K., born into poverty and a family “wrapped up in violence and drunkenness,” as Noel told Esquire. Liam is very open about the domestic violence that was rampant in the house until his mother left, taking him and his brothers with her. As the band achieved commercial success ––
with their debut album “Definitely Maybe” and sophomore album “(What’s the Story) Morning Glory?” –– the brothers literally rode the high: alcohol, drugs and even politics surrounded their newfound hedonistic lifestyle. But the band’s kryptonite would be the brothers’ interpersonal feuds, with public fights and vulgar insults leading to the band’s separation in 2009.
But there’s more to Oasis than their widely publicized drama in the timing of their ascent. Oasis emerged as the social fabric of the U.K. started to change in the ’90s, captivating audiences as the country underwent stark political shifts from Conservative Thatcherism to the hope offered by Tony Blair’s New Labour. The band’s lyrics and origins seemed to strike a chord that harmonized perfectly with its moment in time.
Liam continuously points to “Live Forever” in “Definitely Maybe” as his favorite Oasis song. Written by Noel in 1991 before he joined the band, “Live Forever” tells of a vision to reach a higher status, whether as a person or as a band: “Maybe I just wanna fly / Wanna live, I don’t wanna die.”
Placed in stark contrast with the brothers’ dark childhoods, the lyrics’ bleak optimism hidden behind a rock ’n’ roll melody captures the essence of British workers at the time: undergoing high
ON YOUR RADAR
H STREET FESTIVAL
The free annual and highly anticipated single-day H Street festival in D.C. is back! This Saturday, Sept. 21, check out H Street NE between Third Street and 15th Street. What to expect? An entertainment lineup spanning from Corepower Yoga, Open Mic Karaoke and a smattering of local musical talent. There is truly something for everyone, so head down this weekend to take advantage of this once-a-year festival!
HOMECOMING WEEKEND
unemployment and deindustrialization as the social issues of Thatcherism emerged en masse.
The song then hints at this sense of camaraderie among the common man, singing, “I think you’re the same as me / We see things they’ll never see / You and I are gonna live forever.”
To me, this song is why millions of working-class Britons subscribe to Oasis despite the lavish lives the Gallaghers lived in the ’90s.
“In England, 90% of the working class’ favorite band is Oasis,” says Anthon Ryan, 27, a friend of mine from London. “They’re like a religion over there, especially up in Manchester.”
Ryan continues: “They just fit my personality really well. I remember once I was in a pub and the guitarist started doing an Oasis song. This girl from New Zealand asked me, ‘Is every British person’s favorite band Oasis?’ These two guys I’d never met and myself at the same time just said ‘yes.’”
So, when I think back to my ticketing experience for Oasis, I am angry. Though I am neither a Brit nor a member of the ’90s working class, Oasis was undeniably an icon of that era — representing a generation facing unique challenges of their time.
That same generation sat in front of their laptops waiting on Ticketmaster and its affiliated links,
By Caitlin McBride
Celebrate what the Hilltop means to fellow students, family, alumni and friends this Homecoming Weekend!
From Friday, Sept. 20 to Sunday, Sept. 22, join the Homecoming Tailgate, with brand-new programming and the first-ever Homecoming Fall Fest. Most events are free except for the tailgate, which is $20 to $30 for walk-ins.
as instructed — Oasis had explicitly stated that the resale of tickets outside of Ticketmaster and its associated websites would not be tolerated, potentially resulting in cancellation.
But, as soon as ticket sales went live, many fans saw thousands of tickets appear on resale websites like StubHub, and even Ticketmaster appeared to raise prices on their own as demand exploded –– listing prices that differed from what the band had promised.
Ticketmaster may be a quantitatively efficient venue for ticket sales, but qualitatively, these companies continuously fail to distribute tickets to the right fans. The working-class audience from the ’90s that saved up to see their favorite band, only for their chances to be snatched away by massive ticketing giants –– those are the people who I empathize with. The anger and agony of the fans, the integrity of the artists and the inherent quality of the concert experience ––that is what is swept under the rug.
I have no doubt that Liam and Noel sing their lyrics with the same passion as they did in the ’90s. But as Ticketmaster forces Oasis tickets to price out the average fan, I fear that the hope Oasis used to offer the working class is slowly sliding away.
THIS WEEK’S THEME: Tradition Time
PHILLIPS COLLECTION SPECIAL EXHIBITION
Step into a local art museum’s temporary exhibit of “Multiplicity: Blackness in Contemporary American Collage” before it closes on Sunday, Sept. 22. “Multiplicity” explores collage by contemporary Black American artists and celebrates the variety and complexity of Black identity through their work. The Phillips Collection, near Dupont Circle, is open Tuesday through Sunday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
CHUSEOK FAMILY FESTIVAL
Though Chuseok was on Sept. 17 this year, join the National Museum of Asian Art in its Chuseok Family Festival on Saturday, Sept. 21 from 11:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. The fall harvest festival will include special performances, food, crafts and local community programming. Learn about past and current traditions with a friend or two!
What’s Wrong With ‘What’s Wrong With New York?’ Nothing, as Far as I Can Tell
Senior Features Editor
Adorned in a black suit and sunglasses, The Dare is inviting you to his party. After listening to his new album “What’s Wrong with New York?” — a thumping, irreverent love letter to late nights in your 20s — you may not be able to refuse.
Harrison Patrick Smith is the man behind the persona of The Dare, a 28-year-old New York-based artist who has taken the world of dance-punk music by storm. As a producer, DJ and singer, he has successfully worked his way up from New York City clubs to mainstream recognition through his punchy beats and fun-loving lyrics.
After he released his 2023’s “The Sex EP,” Charli XCX — a fellow nightlife lover — recruited Smith to produce her song “Guess,” demanding in the lyrics “Send them to The Dare, yeah, I think he’s with it.” Smith also appeared in the music video alongside Billie Eilish, solidifying his place next to the two groundbreaking pop-punk artists.
@ITSTHEDARE/INSTAGRAM
Paulina Inglima (CAS ’27) gives her take on The Dare, who revels in being young, broke and reckless.
The album starts off with “Open Up,” an anthemic call to let go paired with a catchy chorus. This tone is solidified by its follow-up track, “Good Time,” a seductive and energetic piece reminiscent of early 2000s pop — a genre that evolved post-2008 recession to emphasize having fun, even if it’s only for “tonight” and amid a lack of cash. Despite these undertones of financial struggles, Smith uses reiterated lyrics and an upbeat, boppy beat to encourage embracing carefree youth, with undercurrents of desire. The song’s message is clear: Tomorrow he’ll deal with his problems, but tonight is about having a good (wink wink) time.
The piece de resistance of the album is the song “Girls,” which gained The Dare widespread notoriety after its initial release as a single in August 2022. This is due to Smith listing the types of girls he likes explicitly in the lyrics, including, but not limited to, drug users, cigarette smokers, gun owners, murderers, girls who “give it up for Lent” and, of course, the sexually promiscuous. On “What’s
Wrong with New York,” “Girls” encapsulates the album’s core themes: chaos, boldness and so much fun. The lyrics are sarcastic and juvenile, but they bring a blast of energy into any scenario that makes you want to jump straight into the nearest mosh pit.
Just as the album reaches its peak energy, The Dare, ironically, brings us down with “Elevation” — an earnest look into the sobering moments of party life and culture. It perfectly captures the feelings of the anxiety and the regrets of the night finally catching up. The chorus, sung in a longing yet harsh tone, “But there’s no escaping love… / …And I feel like taking drugs / When this elevation, elevation / Elevation’s done / There’s still no erasing / No erasing us” reminds the listener that once the high is over, the crash leaves them exactly the same as they were before. In an album that largely centers around hype dance songs, this ballad provides an essential reset for the audience.
“I Destroyed Disco” emerges as the album’s most self-referential track, offering a pointed
commentary on the media’s attempt to pigeonhole The Dare into a specific genre: “Punk rock to disco / Missiles / Blowin’ up the motherfucking club / From New York to San Francisco.” Is he rock? Punk? Disco? Something new entirely? Either way, Smith makes it clear that whatever genre we try to limit him to, he’ll blow it up and spin it on its head entirely. “Why stop? Don’t know, I don’t care / What’s a blogger to a rocker?” he teases to over-eager journalists (like this one).
But as inventive and surprising as the album is, The Dare isn’t trying to reinvent the wheel. His ’90s indie sleaze style is inspired by LCD Soundsystem, False Prophet and the Rolling Stones, giving Gen Z our own soundtrack for the angst, longing and yes, horniness of partying in your 20s. However, Smith doesn’t want to be constricted to one genre. His suit and sunglasses may scream “drugs, sex and rock n’ roll,” but as he says best in “I Destroyed Disco:” “What’s a rocker to The Dare?”
Paulina Inglima
‘Memoir of a Sparklemuffin’ Weaves an Enthralling Web of Fear, Loss and Love
Patrick Clapsaddle Copy Chief
In her sophomore album, Suki Waterhouse invites us to treat ourselves to a new point of view in her autobiographical account of regrets realized, loves lost and lessons learned. In the midst of this year’s girly pop renaissance — with standouts including Charli XCX’s “Brat,” Clairo’s “Charm” and Remi Wolf’s “Big Ideas” — Waterhouse lands among the stars with her Sept. 13 release “Memoir of a Sparklemuffin.”
Waterhouse has come a long way for this moment; from up-and-coming H&M model at just 16 years old to full-fledged actress at 21 and now to indie-pop’s newest obsession. Waterhouse is no stranger to well-deserved praise; generally positive audience reviews abounded following the release of her 2022 debut album “I Can’t Let Go.” “Memoir” offers a similarly self-investigative experience marked by greater expressive freedom.
The album’s opening track, “Gateway Drug,” sets lofty expectations and yet a loftier con-
ceptual outline for the entire album. Beautiful guitar riffs toward the beginning explode into an epic guitar-drums combination in the second verse and chorus, with Waterhouse portraying herself as a siren: “Come with me if you want / We could find what you lost.”
The depiction draws on a rich arachnoid mythology in which Waterhouse sees herself as a sparklemuffin spider — a colorful, dancing arachnid — entangled in the intricate webs of life she has woven for herself.
“Supersad” — the album’s second track and fifth of seven pre-release singles — carries over the awesome instrumentation of the opening song. As Waterhouse astutely points out, “There’s no point in being supersad,” reminding us all to let go of the tears we should never have cried. “Blackout Drunk,” another standout, similarly employs a percussive sound to contrast with the solemn lack of accountability in a relationship one step away from adulterous, alcoholism-induced failure.
The next two tracks give a slight pause to the album’s so far fast-moving pace, allowing Wa-
terhouse a moment to breathe; she touches on past relationships mired in hindsight-based revelations about an unideal age gap in “Faded” and the weighted game of saving face versus expressing one’s emotions in “Nonchalant.”
In a self-revelatory interjection with tracks “My Fun” and “Model, Actress, Whatever,” Waterhouse first commemorates the childlike joy and whimsy of her current relationship with actor Robert Pattinson that’s as fun as fun can be: “Lately I’ve been thinking you’re the one for me… / …Cause you love me like I love my fun.”
She continues in “Model, Actress, Whatever,” with a vocally-gorgeous and sonically-percussive response to both the accolades and admonishments thrown at her throughout her years-long career, saying, “Fuck what you’ve heard / ‘Bout me at my worst.”
Where Waterhouse excels with unique and convivial instrumentation, her more ballad-like, less-“produced” songs tend to suffer from a lack of complexity. Nonetheless, the lyricism of such songs stands firm, namely with “To Get You” and “Lullaby,” where the former — a eulogy for all she
@SUKIWATERHOUSE/ INSTAGRAM
According to Patrick Clapsaddle (SFS ’26), Suki Waterhouse’s newest album is a standout of this year’s pop releases.
lost in pursuit of her lover — begs the question we’ve all asked before: Was it worth it?
Bringing up the rear of the album is a Grammy-worthy five-track-run including standout songs “Big Love” and “Lawsuit,” as well as the album’s second single “OMG,” which expertly deliver an apt portrayal of anxiety, a quintessential karma song and a cry for help from the core of an obsessive self-spiral. “Think Twice” and “Could’ve Been A Star” similarly reflect the shame of self-destructive habits and regret about the past: “Classic, all I’m good at is ruining you.”
Rounding out the album’s end are perhaps some of the weaker tracks from the album as a whole, as similar prior critiques arise with songs like “Everybody Breaks Up Anyway,” a melancholy yet seemingly-peaceful contention that love is — apparently for Waterhouse — short-lived. Despite her ever-beautiful vocals, the song suffers from austere lyricism and even more austere production. The album’s final track and first single released back in March 2023, “To Love,” is a roaring conclusion portraying utter disbelief at the adoration she and her lover share: “Oh, how lucky we are.”
Across 18 tracks spanning nearly an hour, Waterhouse has firmly cemented her status as a main pop girly. She expresses in “Model, Actress, Whatever” one of her most nascent desires — “And I’d have a story, they’d know my name” — before hindsight revealed the truth of fame and its “Nightmares so loud.” Regardless, for better or worse, Waterhouse can rest assured that her name has caught securely in the webs of our minds — and we can’t wait to dig in.
As Big as the What? Kendrick Lamar Is ‘What the Culture Feeling’
Ethan Hill Deputy Guide Editor
Kendrick Lamar is on a historic run — one so historic that it transcends anything we’ve seen in music thus far.
The start of this year saw the biggest rap feud in hip-hop history. We have seen two heavyweights go bar for bar before. The early 2000s witnessed a fierce rivalry between two New York hip-hop giants, Nas and Jay-Z, culminating in Nas’s classic diss track “Ether.” This brutal composition dissected Jay-Z’s calling him a “phony, a fake, a pussy, a Stan,” the last word referencing Eminem’s famous song “Stan,” in which the artist details a fictional account of being stalked by a creepy fan. Of course, who could also forget when the Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac swung shots from coast to coast? Especially prominent is Tupac’s vicious diss track “Hit ’Em Up,” in which he accuses Biggie of hiring someone to kill him and reveals to the world that he had been having a relationship with Biggie’s girlfriend.
While both of these clashes have firmly cemented themselves in hip-hop history, Lamar’s absolute annihilation of Drake truly tops them all. While Jay-Z, Nas, Biggie and Tupac are all world-renowned names in hip-hop culture, none of them came close to the stardom that Drake has seen. Indeed, the comparisons Drake
draws between himself and Michael Jackson are not far off the mark. But now that Lamar has firmly won their feud, he has cemented himself as one of the hottest artists in music right now, eclipsing Drake in popularity. And he is riding out this momentum to its fullest capacity — he seems to be in the middle of an imminent album release, and every move he makes appears to be a direct provocation towards Drake.
Let’s rewind to May 4 of this year, one of the most eventful days in hip-hop history. After Lamar taunted Drake with his track “6:16 in LA” — in which Lamar claimed that the people working for Drake’s label, OVO Sound, secretly hated Drake and were feeding Lamar information — Drake dropped his highly anticipated response to Kendrick, “Family Matters.” In the song, Drake alleges that Lamar is raising a child born from an affair between his best friend Dave Free and his fiance, Whitney Alford, all while also accusing Lamar of physically abusing his fiancee. These claims threw the hip-hop community into its defining discourse of the summer. However, that discussion didn’t last long. Roughly 30 minutes after the release of Drake’s provocative “Family Matters,” Lamar responded with “Meet the Grahams.” If “Family Matters” was scathing, “Meet the Grahams” was devastating. It featured an ominous piano playing over a slow, menacing beat. In it, Lamar writes letters to all of Drake’s family members,
CROSSWORD
By Tanvi Gorripati
including his son, mother, father and Drake himself. He concludes by alleging that Drake is hiding another child from the world.
The combination of confidently stated allegations, the foreboding beat and visceral content overshadowed any discussion of Lamar’s potential wrongdoings. Within moments, the spotlight was back on Drake. Things only got worse for him as Lamar released the song of the year, “Not Like Us,” which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and continues to break streaming records. It’s a hit that could get an entire venue singing verses about how Drake is allegedly a pedophile.
Now, to add insult to injury, Lamar will be the halftime performer at this year’s Super Bowl. While back in 2023, Drake’s song “First Person Shooter” featuring J. Cole rapped about how the two artists’ collaboration was “as big as the Super Bowl,” Lamar will now actually be the performer — where he will almost certainly play “Not Like Us” and quite literally have the entire world calling Drake a “OV-Hoe” and how he’s “tryna strike a chord and it’s probably A-Minor.”
While losing a rap battle is bad, it doesn’t get more demoralizing and decisive than that.
To make all of this worse, Lamar used his Super Bowl performance announcement as an opportunity to assert his victory and taunt Drake: “You know there’s only one opportunity to win a championship, no round twos.”
Since the announcement, there have been claims that Drake has turned down the Super Bowl halftime show twice. However, those claims have since been disproven.
Continuing his impressive streak, Lamar recently released a new, untitled track on his Instagram. As the new song was released without an official name, fans have unofficially dubbed it “Let the Party Die” or “Black Air Force Ones.” This shows that Lamar has returned to his typical subject matter. Similarly to previous albums, he continues to talk about the evils of the world, claiming that his faith in God is what keeps him afloat. His rapping ability and flows feel just as good as they did 10 years ago, with just as much hunger and drive to be the greatest emcee to ever touch a microphone.
In my opinion, Lamar had already secured his place as the greatest rapper of all time. His album “To Pimp a Butterfly” stands as the pinnacle of hip-hop artistry, surpassing even legendary albums like Nas’s “Illmatic,” Eminem’s “The Marshall Mathers LP” and Kanye West’s “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.” But his influence is larger than ever, transcending music and bleeding into the rest of broader American pop culture.
Kendrick has said a lot of things this year. However, there is one statement that rings more true as time goes on.
Kendrick is “what the culture feeling.”
This Week’s Theme: The Wheels of Justice
ACROSS
1. “Morning Joe” airer
6. Knowledgeable
7. What might be banged in a courtroom
8. Inmates on death row get their last ___
9. Oat, soy and skim
DOWN
1. A periodical publication, for short
2. A Hindu religious teacher
3. Orange variety
4. When inmates escape, it is called a prison ____
5. What the inmates in 4-Down may escape from
ACROSS
1. One blonde played by the Wayans brothers
6. Second-largest Great Lake
7. A boat is _ ___ of transportation
8. Trent Reznor’s industrial rock band, abbr.
9. In the middle of the sea and the ocean
10. Picturesque scene
DOWN
1. Zendaya’s “Dune” role
2. DC weather in the summer
3. It might be dramatic or tragic
4. The fish best known to be paired with chips
5. What you might do at a pew
11. Take the ____