The Purchase Independent - 04/14/2011

the

Q&A

April 14, 2011 | Issue #237

y o u r. i n d y @ g m a i l . c o m

LETTER FROM THE EDITORS

editor-in-chief: Ri l ey Ken ny s mith

Last week: Zombie Prom.

This weekend is Culture Shock.

Editor’s letter?

layout editor: Ta r a C on n elly copy editors: Reb ecca K ap lan writers: Li a m D elan ey H ei d i Du f f y Cl éa G ran d its Lesl i e G u tk in To ny Pon tiu s N i ch o las Sh ap iro M a da me Q u er y print managers: Ro byn Wilk in s To ny Pon tiu s cover photo by: K a ro l Wer n ek artwork by: Su za n n e Bon an n o web design by: D a n i elle Lemp p

The Purchase Independent is a non-profit news magazine, paid for by the Mandatory Student Activity fee.

We welcome and encourage submissions from readers. The Indy is a forum for campus issues and events, to give students the voice they deserve. Letters, articles, comics, ads, event photography and event listings are welcomed.

The deadline for submissions is every Friday before midnight, and accepted pieces will be published the following Thursday.

Publication of submissions is not guaranteed, but subject to the discretion of the editors. No anonymous submissions will be considered, but we will accept use of pseudonyms on a case-by-case basis.

Send all submissions and inquiries to your. indy@gmail.com. Send questions to Madame Query at formspring.me/madamequery. Back page quotes can be submitted to formspring. me/indybackpage or put in the Back Page Box that hangs on the office door.

Our office is located on the first floor of Campus Center North, room 1011. Staff meetings are held in the office every Monday night at 9:30; anyone is welcome to join.

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bricks and bricks and bricks never-ending construction Purchase, I’ll miss you lumberjack undies, a Tegan and Sara shirt: gayest pajamas Dexter or homework?

That’s an easy decision.

I need saran wrap. senior project, wait, what senior project? hmm, victory lap?

I’ll write a letter: Dear liver, I’m so sorry.

But c’mon, it’s Culture Shock. shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots everybody!

&

HUMOR

ZOMBIE PROM RECAP

BY NICHOLAS SHAPIRO

For the longest time, I was led to believe that Zombie Prom was a massive, hilarious metaphor insinuating that everybody on the Purchase campus was dead on the inside who then collectively took pride in this long-standing death festival by dressing up as the deceased to express their everlasting emptiness. I haven’t been to one in my three years here, despite giving it the ol’ college try this time around (Daddy had too much to drink too early and drunk-napped on his common room couch to wake up hours later to a lot of angry/concerned text messages the next morning, whoopsie doodles!), but it sure sounded like a hoot in hindsight to everybody else.

Here’s what I think would have happened had I actually gone and enjoyed myself at this supersensationalized funeral party.

First of all, I give big ups to the curtain people who put up all those curtains around the Stood! I saw that shit the next morning and I was like wowza, I bet it made everyone feel like they were on Ellis Island ready to be heavily screened at one of those fancy immigration inspection stations or something. Or maybe I’m just having psychedelic flashbacks of my old Polish ancestors. Either way, it was neat! I would have totally run into them and knocked everything over. I also noticed a peculiar orange netted cage with a television, a microphone and a seat at the center of the entryway. If I were with my buddies, we totally would have been like, “What’s the deal with that?! So weird, this school is so weird,” and we would have walked into the immigrant curtain hallways.

I also heard through the grapevine/Twitter that there was a colorful taco truck that doled out the goods to starving, plastered college bonerheads outside. If I were waiting in line there, I would have said, “Muchas gracias, Elise Granata, aka Queen of the General Programming Whatevers of Events and Stuff, this would have been better if it was a hot dog truck but I appreciate your efforts nonetheless,” and then I would have walked away from it on an empty stomach. Also present at Zom Prom were three (maybe?) DJs that apparently ran the course from: “Excellent” to “Good” to “Get me outta here!!” according to students whose names I forget. I’m not a fan of DJ sets and I never have been, so I assume that I would have plugged my ears with a handful of tacos and screamed at other kids for no reason until the music stopped.

Speaking of aural displeasure, the general volume of noise at the Stood was so loud, I was told, that I bargain I would have heard it from Big Haus had I not passed out in drag in my zombie make-up with POOP HERE scrawled on my chest in black paint. My outfit probably wouldn’t have won any points in the female department either, unless a pack of wild idiots took me for a blazingly hot, morbid lesbian, and maybe then I could have scored some old fashioned homo-fun. No matter, what’s done is done and I hope everybody enjoyed themselves. See y’all next year maybe, drink responsibility, necrophilia is gross and don’t be me because I learned that naps are mega impractical on the weekends and it’s a surefire way to self-hate your way to the bottom of the social loser chain.

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SENIOR PROJECT PANIC

BY CLÉA GRANDITS

As the end of the year draws closer and seniors struggle to wrap up their senior projects, the juniors are reminded that our own time is quickly approaching and that we should probably start thinking up of some ideas, hopefully ones that will keep us intrigued for the entire year. Hearing the challenges the seniors have encountered coupled with the persistent warnings of our teachers, senior projects are made out to be burdens that induce stress, sleep deprivation, no social life and utter failure in other classes. Though seemingly dreadful, senior projects should be seen as an opportunity.

Students should realize that it’s their final chance to compile all the stuff they’ve learned in the past four years and create something that can be put to use in the outside world, especially (and hopefully) if it’s relevant to what they want to do with their lives.

Though some students are required to write 40-page papers for their senior projects, others are given the chance to explore and do something more creative. Sabina Ksiezopolska, a drama studies major, just finished putting the final touches on her installation entitled “Falling” which will be displayed in the student gallery at the Stood from April 8 – 12. Ksiezopolska refers to her installation as an “emotional autobiography.” In six different spaces she has created environments that are connected to a memory, emotion or

experience she’s had. Through this she is focusing on audience response theory to see how they interpret each of the rooms. The spaces are left fairly abstract and open to interpretation. For example, one of the rooms has been set up as a kid’s room, fit with toys with toys and furniture.

Over the course of her time at Purchase, she became increasingly interested in performance art and chose to create a senior project relevant to that. “I’ve definitely enjoyed putting this together, minus all the stress. I just happened to pick something that I felt strongly about, which helps. Find something worth your time that you can walk away with. End your four years on a good note.”

Gaby Gilchrist, a senior arts management major, has chosen to do her senior project by acting as Mokaad’s general manager along with Scott Watson. The two have been doing the Purchase funk band’s social media marketing and scheduling rehearsals and shows all year. They hope to organize a show at the Dhall sometime before the end of the semester. In addition to this they have to write a 20-page research-based paper on Mokaad’s transformation over the course of the year. “It’s hard and time-consuming but I got so much experience out of it and that’s really important for managing,” Gilchrest said. “This is something I’m going to put on my resume and tell my prospective employers about. I advise students

“Find something worth your time that you can walk away with. End your four years on a good note.”

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CAMPUS to work in a partnership on their senior project because it’s easier to talk to somebody who’s in it with you, it’s a nice support system.”

Creative writing majors are asked to write a collection of stories or poems numbering between 50 and 100 pages. The final project is something that students can walk away with and actually attempt to get published. Peter Basch, a senior creative writing major, has been working on a series of personal essays as his final project.

“I’ve been going back and heavily editing all of it so that it’s cohesive and doesn’t sound as juvenile as it did when I first wrote it,” he explained.

While certain juniors have to deal with demanding senior project proposals, others barely need to write one. Students with majors such as literature, creative writing, liberal studies, MSA, math and computer science are required to take a junior or senior seminar class and write a onepage paper outlining an idea for their project.

Other majors aren’t as fortunate. Ali McGhee, a junior drama studies major, had to write a 12page proposal composed of a 500-word abstract, five pages of artistic aims, a two-page timeline, one page of possible challenges and a three-page description of what would go into the research portion of the paper. Students studying theatre, music, and most art majors aren’t even required to write proposals.

As Basch explained of his senior project, “this is a great opportunity because you’re being forced to produce something and it gives you the chance to figure out what you’ve been doing these past four years and how that can possibly play into whatever is coming after college.”

BEER TENT!

BY HEIDI DUFFY

The beer tent at Culture Shock is obviously 21 and over, but what people may not know is that the organizer, senior Karla Mera, has been coordinating it for years before she was legal to drink. “I did the booking for the beer tent for the last two years, but I was never able to go in.

This year I’m finally 21, and I was like, ‘I think it should happen, so let’s make it happen.’ It brings people closer together. It’s cheap beer you can buy, drink with your friends and listen to music.”

There aren’t any coctails or anything, but you do have a choice between Budweiser and Bud Lite, which go for $2.00 for a 16 ounce cup. There will also be live music in the beer tent during Culture Shock. “It’s going to be like three dubstep DJs and it’s going to be this new thing. The group is called The Doors in the Wall. They’ve played a few shows on campus. They usually get a party going and people don’t want them to stop, but they always have a limited time. They play from 7 – 9pm,” said Mera.

When asked what advice Mera had for first time beer tent attendees, she responded, “Don’t forget your ID! Because they’re really strict on that.”

If any of this sounds appealing to you, Karla does need someone to take on the duties of coordinating the beer tent next year. “I’m going to graduate and someone needs to take my place.

If they want it to keep going, they should let me know. You have to have experience with booking, or passion, you have to prove it to me. And I’ll have you meet all the right people.”

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RAPE-CULTURE SHOCK

BY LESLIE GUTKIN

I’ve placed my hyphen exactly where it needs to be, your eyes aren’t mistaken. Rape culture is a culture in which rape and other sexual violence is considered a fact of life and is often excused, ignored and encouraged. We like to believe we live in a “Purchase bubble” where we are so different and radical, but we don’t.

Purchase may have a distinct culture, but it is still operating within the larger rape culture.

Culture Shock is a time where people let loose: they drink, do drugs, wander around, et cetera. All people should be free to do any and all (or none) of these things without worrying about being sexually assaulted. With so much going on, it may seem like a sad inevitability that someone will get raped—remember when we defined rape culture? When people talk about sexual assault prevention, they usually list lots of things women can do to “protect themselves” like: don’t walk home alone, watch your drink, don’t wear short skirts. These are problematic for a number of reasons, one important one is that they don’t help. They blame the victims for a crime that is not their fault.

NO ONE DESERVES TO BE RAPED.

You could walk naked and drunk through a room of people you’ve slept with in the past and they would have absolutely no right to touch you.

So instead of asking victims of assault not to get assaulted, let’s ask the rapists not to rape! Turning the prevention tips we’re used to hearing on their head, these Ten Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work have been

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remastered specifically for Culture Shock, and if everyone uses them we can all have an amazing and safe weekend.

1. DON’T PUT DRUGS IN PEOPLE’S DRINKS IN ORDER TO CONTROL T H E I R B E H AV I O R .

2. WHEN YOU SEE S O M E O N E WA L K I N G / SITTING/DANCING/ PA S S E D O U T B Y T H E M S E L V E S , L E AV E THEM ALONE! DON’T ASSAULT THEM! 3. IF YOU BEND OVER TO HELP SOMEONE WHO FELL IN THE CROWD, REMEMBER NOT TO ASSAULT THEM! 4. NEVER OPEN AN UNLOCKED DOOR OR WINDOW UNINVITED. 5. IF YOU ARE IN A N E L E VAT O R A N D SOMEONE ELSE GETS I N , D O N ’ T A S S A U LT THEM!

SAFETY 6. REMEMBER, PEOPLE GO TO THEIR ROOMS/ B AT H R O O M S T O D O DRUGS/DRINK/GO T O T H E B AT H R O O M .

D O N O T AT T E M P T T O ASSAULT SOMEONE WHO IS ALONE IN A R O O M / B AT H R O O M .

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO STOP YOURSELF FROM ASSAULTING PEOPLE, A S K A F R I E N D T O S TAY WITH YOU WHILE YOU ARE IN PUBLIC. 8 . A L WA Y S B E H O N E S T WITH PEOPLE! DON’T PRETEND TO BE A CARING FRIEND IN ORDER TO GAIN THE TRUST OF SOMEONE Y O U WA N T T O A S S A U L T. CONSIDER TELLING THEM YOU PLAN TO ASSAULT THEM. IF YOU D O N ’ T C O M M U N I C AT E YOUR INTENTIONS, THE O T H E R P E R S O N M AY TA K E T H AT A S A S I G N T H AT Y O U D O N O T P L A N TO RAPE THEM.

SEX (OF ANY KIND) WITH SOMEONE UNLESS THEY ARE A WA K E / C O N S C I O U S / S O B E R A N D S AY Y E S ENTHUSIASTICALLY! 10. CARRY A WHISTLE! IF YOU ARE WORRIED YOU MIGHT ASSAULT SOMEONE “ A C C I D E N TA L L Y ” Y O U CAN HAND IT TO THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH, SO THEY CAN BLOW IT I F Y O U D O AT T E M P T T O ASSAULT THEM. And ALWAYS REMEMBER: If you didn’t ask permission and respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime—no matter how “into it” that person may appear to be.

In an emergency or if you just want someone to walk you home safely call Campus Security at (914) 251‑6911. They will not ask you if you have been drinking or doing drugs. We promise.

There will also be an alternative hip-hop dance party during Cam’ron’s set Friday night so anyone who wants to listen to hip-hop that is not a perfect illustration of rape culture and that does not promote an unsafe environment can join us. We’ll be heading to the dance party during Cam’ron’s set so please watch for us and join us!

9 . D O N ’ T F O R G E T: Y O U C A N ’ T H AV E

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PSGA ELECTIONS: PRESIDENT Brittany Mayes

C O O R D I N AT O R OF CLUBS, ORGS & SERVICES

I want to give the students the best opportunity to make their ideas and thoughts into action. I would also like to voice their concerns and ideas to the administration and be the mediator between the two. I plan to have more open forums, and have Civic Actions in a bigger space to pull in students. I want the student body to feel like their voice and ideas are being heard.

STUDENT ACTIVITIES C O O R D I N AT O R

Thomas Daver

I love the Clubs. They are one of the best, most diversely populated groups on campus, I’ve been with Ricky Gunzel, the current CoCOaS, and have seen how the meeting runs and want to give more to them.

I will love the Clubs like relatives. I make a point to attend as many of the CoCOaS meetings as I can. I want to know how they run, operate and outreach. I want them to know I’d help them through anything.

Harley Aussoleil

Marianna Grady

I am pursuing this position because I think I would be able to improve the visibility, transparency and general management of student activities. I will require the MEC and GPC to submit monthly progress reports so that we can keep records of them. I want to create a new hiring process at the Student Center that requires any applicant to serve as a volunteer for a minimum of 10 hours and go through a formal hiring process, including a resume and interview.

I also want to create internships at the Stood: one specifically to promote events and the other to help the Maintenance Coordinator. I want the Diversity Committee to be directly involved in SAC and in PSGA-sponsored events.

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I have been in leadership positions and deeply involved in clubs and services since I was a sophomore. I know what it is like to run a club and the difficulties involved and I want to justly represent and provide guidance to all clubs and services and those interested in creating one. My plans and goals include: a PSGA page in the Indy with a weekly calendar of club events, meeting times, presidents to contact, et cetera; create a physical info hub for the clubs and students to post event fliers; advertise through the Indy, the Brick and posters on how to create a club; make CoCOaS more visible and accessible through better PR; facilitate collaboration between clubs.

YOUR CANDIDATES GENERAL PROGRAMMING C O O R D I N AT O R

FINANCE C O O R D I N AT O R Stevon Garcia

Elise Granata

I held this position with Cameron Wisch for the ‘10-’11 school year. I want to make students as excited as I am about art, music and unconventional programming. My goals include empowering more student-initiated events and to act as more of a guide and counsellor to the students, to open a more effective forum for ideas through surveys and more aggressive marketing, to implement more club collaborations and to hold a lot of easy, cheap non-musical programming and do so more often.

Christopher Ottaviano

I feel that with my experience being treasurer of two clubs, one with a large budget and one with a small budget, has prepared me to deal with the responsibility of all the clubs, services and organizations’ finances. Also, I feel that the PSGA is constantly represented by the same group of people and that new representation is needed. Lastly, I would like to put my experience to better use.

If elected, one of my main plans is to provide better financial support for dedicated individuals in new clubs. And as a goal, I would like to see and encourage more responsible spending amongst the clubs, services and organizations.

I want to be a part of the school’s entertainment process. I think I can help next year be fun and entertaining for everyone. I’m open to working with new people. My plans include having a solid schedule of entertaining events throughout the school year, and working with everyone to make them awesome.

Benjamin Schachter

I want to run for this position because finance and budget planning is something that I genuinely enjoy doing and being a part of.

My core goals are: Being completely transparent; I would work closely with our PR executive to make sure that every student can easily access the budget plan. Posting all MSAF funds and all other funds available to the student body with full descriptions of what they are, how they are to be used, what is left, what those funds have paid for and how students can access those funds. Working with wholesale companies to get the best possible prices on goods and services that the PSGA would need.

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PSGA ELECTIONS: C O O R D I N AT O R OF PUBLIC R E L AT I O N S

C H A I R O F S E N AT E Scott Galina

Adrien Behn

I want to run for this position because I don’t think it is completely a sense of apathy on campus, it is a lack of communication between the PSGA and students. I want to be the bridge between the students and the PSGA to create more fluidness and a sense of community on campus.

My goals include a zine of who’s who and what’s what in the PSGA clubs and services, a map of where everything is on campus, a suggestion box and townhall meetings to answer suggestions and questions, 6x6 event calendars in popular areas, an online artists’ directory and a weekly article in the Indy to say what’s going on.

John Fallot

I want to improve the PSGA’s social networking and I feel that if I were elected the whole community would benefit from what I have to offer. I want to compile the bylaws, create a centralized social networking apparatus, identify the root causes of bad publicity and bureaucracy in the PSGA and correct them.

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For two years I’ve watched Brittany Mayes perform the Chair’s duties and in the back of my head thought, “I could do this so much better than her.” I contemplated getting rid of her Black Swan style, but then I figured I’d let her complete the year and then show her how it’s really done.

I’d love to see the PSGA look more outward than inward. Rather than getting caught up in terminologies and technicalities, I’d like the focus of meetings to be on raising awareness of the PSGA, spending Senator Initiative money and working more with the campus community.

Matt Sekellick

I want to make a meaningful impact on the campus community. I’ll be able to actively empower Senators to engage not only with their constituencies, but also with clubs, orgs and services, as well as the college administration and other parts of the PSGA and other Senators.

My plans include providing enhanced legitimacy to the PSGA government by breaking down communication barriers between the student body, PSGA and college administration by implementing constitutional reforms and creating a more stable document while also creating added efficiencies in the PSGA, by working closely with other officers to raise the profile of PSGA elections, clubs and organizations. Above all else, to listen and serve the needs and desires of the student body.

YOUR CANDIDATES M A J O R E V E N T S C O O R D I N AT O R Isaiah “Izzy” Campbell

Alicia Santiago

I want to run for MEC because over the last few years, I’ve heard that Fall Fest and Culture Shock have been the best and worst. Yet there is talk that there is no diversity in the lineups. With me as MEC, I want to change that, open the floor to everyone for suggestions and work with the students so that they can be assured that both major events represent the campus and being more open instead of isolated.

If elected, I will set up meetings with the Diversity committee as well as clubs and organizations so they can help me with the selective process in the lineups. I will also host an open forum that will allow students to have their say of what they think should or should not be at both events. It’s about the students, it’s their festivals and I’m going to try my hardest to make them enjoyable.

Andrew Sacher

I am interested in nothing more than I am in music, and I feel I could benefit the Purchase student body if I am elected MEC. I have interest in a very diverse selection of music and I want to see a Fall Fest and Culture Shock lineup that is as pleasing as possible to the most amount of people.

My goal is to bring as much diversity as possible to Fall Fest and Culture Shock. I want to see that fans of indie, metal punk, hip hop, electronic et cetera all have at least one artist to be excited for.

I love booking events for the campus and getting people involved. I know what goes into this position as far as effort, time and work. I know I can put on a great event, or else I wouldn’t be running.

I would have meetings at least once a month and maybe collaborate with the GPC. I would be proactive in getting other clubs and services involved in Culture Shock. I would make the first have of Culture Shock more of a festival vibe with world music, activities and possibly free food. The second half would be the big concert.

For Fall Fest, I would focus on getting bigger acts for the second half of the show and putting the money mainly toward the second half.

Maximilian Devlin

I have excellent negotiation and interpersonal skills which will allow ease in communication and booking of professional music industry acts. My Arts Management focus has further enhanced these skills. My organizational skills are flawless. I’m frugal but understand the circumstances in which quality can’t be compromised. Most importantly, I love my school!

Adam Breidbart

I want to make sure my last Culture Shock is a GREAT ONE! My goal is to make the best event possible.

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MORE LIKE SUCKY PUNCH

BY LIAM DELANEY

Let’s get two things straight. Sucker Punch, directed by Zach Snyder, is epic. That said, all the girls are strippers. This quite neatly summarizes the two main points contained within this review.

So let’s begin with the good stuff.

Sucker Punch is extremely fun at first. The very idea of it sounds like something out of a comic book’s week-long LSD bender. The protagonist, a young woman only referred to as Baby Doll (get out your Freudian textbooks now), is placed into a mental institution after her stepfather brutally kills her sister in an attempt to get a hold of her mother’s inheritance. While in the mental institution our heroine escapes into her mind, which happens to be a whorehouse. But she wants to escape and enlists the help of several fellow strippers to aid in her bid for freedom. Here she learns that she is a literally hypnotic dancer. Her stripteases lay the framework for a series of elaborate CGI fight scenes involving giant samurai with miniguns in the first scene; zombie steampunk Nazis in the second scene, dragons and WWII bombers in the third, and finally a train full of robots. All of these scenes are relatively well choreographed and the CGI is well-done and the scenes themselves are dripping with a certain style and slickness.

But there are a few huge problems with the scenes themselves and the style. The first and most glaring issue is the lack of consistent narrative within the film we have nothing to latch onto and therefore no reason to care about what is happening onscreen at any given moment. If Zach Snyder had chosen one of the three scenes

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and stuck with it, for instance an entire movie based around steampunk Nazis, then I would have had a much easier time getting into the characters’ psyches. As it stands the way it jumps from scene to scene so often that we don’t get to know the characters. Zach Snyder gives us no stable base, a requirement for a film that is attempting to deal with the subconscious mind and the very idea of imagination as an escape.

Still, it is very stylistic. The fantasy worlds that Baby Doll and her band of stripper warriors visit are all very fun to watch. But there are two sides to everything; the other side to the style of Sucker Punch, while nice to look at, has that same cheesy look that I imagine when I think about Axe Body Spray and they guys that wear Axe Body Spray. Everything drips with a corporate Hollywood desperation to cram as much nerdy fantasy into two hours as possible. Giant robots and regular sized robots, big Samurai swords and bigger guns. And that scene with the dragon and bomber plane? It takes place amidst a castle that is crawling with what appear to be Orcs and Tolkienesque knights to fight them. While fun in some ways, Hollywood’s unwashed stench is drowning this movie with desperation to drag nerds from every corner of the earth. And as we all know, male nerds will do anything to watch strippers beat the living shit out of robots and dragons.

This, however, brings me to my final point: the sexism hovering over this whole conversation like a cloud of cyanide gas. Zach Snyder seems to believe that Sucker Punch is actually empowering

E N T E RT A I N M E N T because we never see any of the girls actually strip.

Every time Baby Doll begins to strip we dive into one of the fantasy worlds that populate this movie like a group of cold sores. Instead of watching porn we’re watching the typical Hollywood action girl stereotypes get their asses kicked. Again. And again. And again. The reason this film really filled me with paroxysms of disgust is that you see the most sexist parts of any action film stretched out over about two hours. This group of girls are shot at, beaten, thrown around, nearly raped, stabbed to death. Shortly after, during the confrontation between the girls and the evil club owner—so thrilling that I couldn’t contain my yawns of boredom—the rest of the group is brutally gunned down while screaming and wailing and generally acting like, pardon the phrase, a bunch of little girls. Excuse me Mr. Snyder, but how is this supposed to be empowering?

And the outfits? You send them into battle wearing skin‑tight leather, mini skirts, thigh high boots, and so much cleavage it’s a wonder no one pops right out. Oh, and the protagonist spends nearly the entirety of the movie in a Japanese schoolgirl’s outfit, complete with miniskirt and plenty of upskirt shots. Every single aspect of these girls is sexualized and fetishized. There is nothing feminist or empowering about this movie, Mr. Snyder, and the fact that you believe there is merely shows me that you know nothing at all about feminism or women’s rights.

All of the sexualization of the women, all of the action sequences that are supposed to be empowering, it’s all of the same bullshit we’ve seen a million times before in every action movie ever.

We’ve all seen women in action movies get beaten, shot at, and thrown around. Hell, we’ve seen them get killed in a lot of them. The difference between

those movies and Sucker Punch is that the scenes of violence perpetrated against women tend to be short, or at least surrounded by scenes of dialogue or heroics by the macho man. In Sucker Punch the center of the film are the women, so all we have is the violence acted upon them. So in a sense Zach Snyder’s Sucker Punch has taken all of the worst, most sexist slop to have ever existed in Hollywood’s basement and piled it all into a two hour long, baseless, incredibly anti-feminist snore fest that has perhaps the worst cop-out ending I’ve seen in years. So thank you, Zach Snyder. Thank you for giving me even more of a reason to despise any and all corporate sludge that comes out of Hollywood.

LOSS AND SPIRITUALITY

BY TONY PONTIUS

During times of unimaginable loss, people will depart from their normal lives to try to cope with their suffering. Sprituality is a means to finding the truth behind loss, and making the mind and body whole again. Drama studies senior Rayelle Bradley’s senior show, Cadriad Svich’s Alchemy of Desire/Dead Man’s Blues, brings to our attention people who have suffered loss. The play deals with loss and spirituality in a New Orleans community post-Hurricane Katrina and the Gulf oil spill.

The story follows Simone (played by Catherine Dominguez) getting past the loss of her husband Jamie (Matt Morel) who was killed in a war less than a month into their marriage.

She is supported by her neighbors who have also (continued on page 15)

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MADAME QUERY

HAS YOUR REMEDY

I really like this guy, but all my friends

Most Elegant Advice Columnist, I have a

make fun of him as soon as I bring up his

lucky bag of bells in my pocket. The bells

name. How do I tell them to shut up?

are too small to hear, nevertheless I have

People are so surprised when I say how easy it is to tell your friends they’re being assholes.

Yes, it is easy to tell a complete stranger this, but compared to your friends they’re the ones most likely allowed to be a dick. Yes, your friends can joke around with you, don’t become sensitive, but they should know where the line is. How often should they be allowed to keep making fun of someone you admire?

The next time you hear another dumb comment, follow up with something great about him. And then add to that a question—do they have a problem with him? If the answer is “no” then tell them to stop being douche-dongles.

Hopefully, this will get them to stop and realize why you are in the right.

recently been on a roll as far as going

How does one get the closest shave in the pubes region?

Refer back to Madame’s column two or three issues ago, I believe I answered a question about pubes. I am not sure why so many believe I am so filled with hair knowledge, my name is not Madame Pubery, but I’ill help you out.

Use shaving cream and new, fresh razor.

Gently shave in small sections. After completion of each section, rinse off with hot water. You can continue with the instruction found on the informative PBS show Zoom.

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on dates is concerned. Should I keep the bells or what? Curious to know.

There are some things in the world Madame does not comprehend, and you are one of them. I was never one for detailed analysis. I will try to break down your problem. You have a lucky bag of silent bells in your pocket. Meanwhile you have been having a good go at the dating scene.

Okay, so you have a lucky charm that you believe is getting you ass. Congratulations! I bet you can do it without the bells. It’s not the lucky charm, it is the charm you have to win over these dates.

SUBMIT YOUR QUESTIONS

TO MADAME QUERY http://www.formspring.me/madamequery

A DV I C E It is my first Culture Shock and I am not sure what the Purchase protocol is for the big day. Protocol being where to go, how to party, how to hide the right things?

Culture Shock can be a pretty amazing thing, even if you don’t know a lot of the music. I wish there were a way I could explain how to be cool on such a highlight of year as this one, but there is no real way of saying it. The easiest way to put it is be yourself, but safe.

Where to go? Well, that is easy—behind the VA, next to Admissions. You will not be able to miss that big stage and the fried food heaven surrounding it. Make sure you take out plenty of cash before you arrive to the scene, none of the vendors accept anything else. Take a ride— Culture Shock is the only time of the year where you will find a carnival ride on campus! Also, the day never ends with just the headliner: remember the aftershock party in the Stood.

How to party? I can’t exactly tell you how to do that, it’s all about preference. Madame likes the art of pregaming, lacing up her dancing shoes with the promise of boogying down very late into the night. That’s just how I like to party, though.

How will you party? You have to ask yourself that to figure out how you want to take advantage of the weekend. How to party and how to hide the right things go hand-in-hand. If you party right, you won’t be anyone’s problem. Don’t make your weekend problematic; it is always safer and easier to do your shit behind closed doors. Everyone knows that Poland Spring water is not orange, you are not fooling anyone. If you do bring it on the field, at least have it in an orange juice bottle.

Basically, the protocol is walk over and do whatever piques your interest.

(continued from page 13) suffered loss and try to cleanse her home of Jamie’s spirit. Simone drifts in and out of the spiritual world trying to connect with her husband and struggling to find meaning in her life. Only after her struggle can she move on.

Bradley chose Alchemy of Desire/Dead Man’s Blues last semester. “I read through it, and it was beautiful. It has a lot of poetry and imagery that really drew me to it,” she said. “The characters also drew me in because I can relate to every single character.”

The play is also an interesting look at the struggles of war, love and everyday life, looking at humans’ motivations to take action in those times.

Taking action can bring war or create love. It gets us through everyday life and is better than the alternative limbo, like Simone does in the play.

“People should expect to come to the show and feel like they’re in a bayou, and see what losing someone does and what it could do,” said Bradley. “And get caught up in a spiritual world, because it definitely is a spiritual world.”

Alchemy of Desire/ Dead Man’s Blues: Thursday and Friday at 8pm, Saturday at 2pm in the Humanities Theater. Tickets are $3 in advance, $4 at the door for students, $5 at the door for non-students.

15

with love from

HOSTED BY R. STEVIE MOORE PRODUCED BY NICK NOTO

FRIDAY, APRIL 15

H Y D R AT E .

P i c k y o u r p o i s o n o r s t a y s o b e r, y o u n e e d w a t e r. N e e d .

pocket guide to

2 011 the

CUT ME OUT AND FOLD ME AND CARRY ME IN YOUR POCKET!

16 H AV E S O M E F U C K I N G F U N !

CULTURE SHOCK

R E S P E C T Y O U R B O D Y. Being blacked out kind of defeats the purpose of going to a festival.

CHARGE YOUR PHONE. Either you’ll need to find your friends, or your friends will need to find you! It will die when you need it most.

LOCK YOUR DOORS. The only thing worse than coming home to homework is coming home to find that your laptop (with your homework on it) has been stolen.

Z O M G C U LT U R E S H O C K T I P S

SATURDAY, APRIL 16

9pm: R . S T E V I E M O O R E & TROPICAL OOZE

6:30pm: R J T H E M O N S T A

8pm: R E A L E S T A T E

5:45pm: I T C H Y H E A R T S

7pm: W O O D S

5:00pm: R O Y A L B L O O D

7pm: T W I N S I S T E R

6pm: T A L K N O R M A L

4:15pm: P R A X I S

6pm: B E A C H F O S S I L S

5pm: H Y E N A

3:30pm: R O C H A M B R O S

5pm: S C R E A M I N G F E M A L E S

4pm: O ’ D E A T H

2:45pm: T H E H O T F L O O D

4pm: J A M E S F E R R A R O

3pm: W E I R D K O R E A

2:00pm: T H E N I C O B L U E S

3pm: D A T A D O G

2pm: U Z I M O N

1:15pm: P A R E N T S

2pm: S P O O K H O U S E S

12:45pm: B A K E D G O O D S

1pm: R U B B L E B U C K E T

12:30pm: A N A C H R O N I S T A

1pm: U L T R A B U N N Y

WPSR SIDE STAGE

MAIN STAGE

WPSR SIDE STAGE

MAIN STAGE

8pm: B O M B T H E M U S I C INDUSTRY

8:00pm: A L G E R N O N C A D WA L L D E R

10 pm: C A M ’ R O N

7:15pm: T H E S H A K E S

9pm: A P L A C E T O B U R Y STRANGERS

Stood Afterparty: U R I

1:30pm: M E C H A N I C S O F THE HEART 2:15pm: W O O D S P I D E R 3:00pm: S W E A R A N D SHAKE 3:45pm: O R A N G E J U I C E 4:30pm: N E L S O N V I L L I A N S

10 pm: T H E F E E L I E S Stood Afterparty: M O K A A D

5:15pm: H A N D DRUMMING 5:45pm: S O F A C L U B 6:30pm: B A T T L E A V E 7:00pm: D I P E R S (CINEMA) 7:15pm: K O - L I T I O N

2pm-5pm: A R T + D E S I G N B B Q N E A R T H E C E M E T A R Y

8:00pm: S M A L L B L A C K

7pm–9pm: D U B S T E P D J I N T H E B E E R T E N T