The Purchase Independent - 09/22/2011

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September 22, 2011 | Issue #244

y o u r. i n d y @ g m a i l . c o m editor-in-chief: Ri l ey Ken ny s mith layout editor: To m D au er writers: A l ex a Dillen b eck M a da me Q u er y Ró i sí n McCarty N i ch o l a s Sh ap iro print manager: To ny Pon tiu s cover photo by: D avi d Grimald i copy editor: To m my Roach artwork by: M a rg o t Allis on web design by: D a n i el l e Lemp p The Purchase Independent is a nonprofit news magazine, paid for by the Mandatory Student Activity fee.

We welcome and encourage submissions from readers. The Indy is a forum for campus issues and events, to give students the voice they deserve. Letters, articles, comics, ads, event photography and event listings are welcomed.

The deadline for submissions is every Friday before midnight, and accepted pieces will be published the following Thursday. Publication of submissions is not guaranteed, but subject to the discretion of the editors. No anonymous submissions will be considered, but we will accept use of pseudonyms on a caseby-case basis.

Send all submissions and inquiries to your.indy@gmail.com. Send questions to Madame Query at formspring. me/madamequery. Back page quotes can be submitted to formspring.me/ indybackpage or put in the Back Page Box that hangs on the office door.

Our office is located on the first floor of Campus Center North, room 1011. Staff meetings are held in the office every Monday night at 9:30; anyone is welcome to join.

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

“How do I use the Xerox machine?” I asked. The librarian responded, firmly, “Don’t.” And then she introduced me to my new best friend. It’s a magical scanning machine, located in the computer area on the main floor, and I think I may be falling in love. The magical machine scans your book pages, crops them instantly, saves them in the order you scanned them. All with big easy buttons on a touchscreen. But the best part is that when you’re done scanning, the machine then lets you input your email and sends the PDF straight to you. Walk over to a computer, print the file and breathe a sigh of relief as your reading is presented to you in a perfectly legible format ready to be highlighted into oblivion. It all happens in just a few minutes.

Stress free. Did I say magical enough yet? It’s magical.

I only wish the beautiful machine had a name. All the tech in the Indy office is named (and labeled thanks to a handy label printer) and I’ve grown accustomed to referring to computers and printers by their names.

Perhaps we could hold a campus-wide contest to name the scanner. Give the thing a whirl and see if you don’t find yourself wishing you could thank it personally for its service. It seems like a Bernie to me, or maybe a Harvey...

LETTERS LETTER TO THE EDITOR Dear Indy,

I go to Nerf war twice a week in Humanities. The first rule of Nerf club is “don’t be a dick.” This week a very intoxicated boy showed up and started messing around. He picked up a random boy’s gun and aimed it at me, so I aimed mine back. When he grabbed the front of my gun to push it away, I grabbed his to do the same. He then grabbed my arm, and I instinctively went to kick him, but I stopped myself. I started to apologize for almost kicking him, but he grabbed me by the neck and a held me against the wall.

I am fine, thankfully nothing happened. There were people around me and another player made him let go.

Once everyone found out what had happened, he was immediately kicked out of the building and I was asked by just about everyone there if I was okay and if I needed to be walked back to my dorm or anything. According to witnesses, all but the handfull of people that were still upstairs with me fell silent as 3 people went up to him and “politely requested” that he leave.

This story is not to tell people to be more careful because Purchase is a dangerous place, it is to tell you almost the opposite. Purchase, as a community, deserves to be celebrated for how tight-knit it is, and how important a stranger’s safety could be. The “you screw with one of us, you screw with all of us” mentality is alive and well here on campus, and it makes me so proud to call this my school and my second home.

With love,

A Very Grateful Nerf Warrior

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PARTY IN THE PRINTSHOP

BY ALEXA DILLENBECK

If you haven’t heard already from the gorgeous posters around campus, get excited: the print shop in the VA is having a series of printmaking events this week. “Thursday is our party, or as we call it, a Wayzgoose,” said Casey Hooper, printmaking professor. A Wayzgoose is a medieval party that celebrates the transition from summer to winter; here, it’s going to be a party in VA Room 1009. “I’m most excited for the Wayzgoose party,” said Lizz Desimone, senior printmaking student. “It’s going to bring in all of these people to the printshop.”

Advanced printmaking students will be collaborating with Bongoût, a German group of artists, to make a book together. Throughout the two days you can observe students working, and on Friday from 3–5 there will be an open studio in Room 1009 with Bongoût. “I am super pumped because we haven’t done anything like this before, and they found a bunch of cool stuff to do and shoved it into a week,” said Desimone.

Drive By Press, which is a mobile printmaking studio, will be doing hands-on demonstrations with the students who come by.

As printmaking professor Stella Ebner said, “rush over to the VA… and bring a t-shirt!” You can make your own woodblock-printed shirt with them: just bring a clean shirt and get ready to make it snazzy. If you have woodcuts and want to part with them, you can hand them over to Drive

By Press and they will take them on the road with them to be printed across the country.

This event is not just for VA students, but for all Purchase students to make something of their own and get to see beautiful art from current students and alumni. It will also be a good time to go shopping if your walls are empty, because there will be prints for sale in the VA Room 1016.

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If you’re worried about not having enough money in the bank, the prints will be affordable and as Hooper said, it will enrich your life.

Next Friday, the printmaking department of Purchase College will be represented at the NY Art Book Fair at P.S. 1 in Queens. “We’re going to have a booth there,” said Ebner, “and we’re going to sell the collaborative project and other books from faculty, alumni and former faculty. It’s going to be wonderful.”

The last two days of the print week, as Hooper put it, “will be a great time for students to come and see the work that we do here… and to see professional artists working.” During the week there will be an additional exhibition of alumni work on the wall.

PURCHASE PRINT WEEK WAYZGOOSE Thursday, September 22nd the printshop at 4:30pm

C U LT U R E

LUXURY MINUTE U.S.A.

BY NICHOLAS SHAPIRO

The red, white and blue ring a new dawn of generational anglo-lizards free to fizzle from the diamond sizzled clenches of Ted Turner to the forgotten architects of the once-famous but never remembered Domino’s Pizza. Open your eyes and realize the Five Guys of your lives are not ties to your inner thighs. Repeat after three: one, two, three, “Otis” is the greatest song that ever lived. Art is for daddy issues. You will re-discover yourself only to re-discover that your Discovery Channel discovered and uncovered your brother for the sake of your mother.

Toyota Camry is going to be the name of my firstborn daughter and she will be the best Transformer since Lady Gaga. Captain America: The First Avenger was the most influential documentary of our time since the Bratz movie and if you disagree then you may find it difficult to please others including yourself in the sexual playground that is your own loneliness. We are having the slime time of our lives, let’s get covered in it. Big breasted females are the fountain of

dreams we have all been sleeping on and it’s time to wake up. Milk, milk, lemonade, my own two hands is where Hell is made. If miracles do exist, then the American flag will be in 3D.

I don’t own a boat but I do own the ocean and next week I will take my ocean out for a spin through very expensive boats. Inception was the first movie of our time to do nothing with a billion dollars. Mozzerella stick manifestos wrapped in Ferraris draped with Jack Daniel’s cum. Diner, Drive-Ins and Dives is so profound you will never in your lifetime appreciate the extent of its full beauty.

Love, Bobby Flay.

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AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL

BY Róisín McCarty

Amnesty International was founded in 1961 following Peter Benenson’s article “The Forgotten Prisoners,” which called for justice and action against the imprisonment of two Portuguese students who raised a toast for freedom. It is an organization devoted to protecting human rights, while also fighting for justice for those who have already had their rights violated.

Throughout the last 50 years, Amnesty International has done incredible work worldwide.

In the United States the priority campaigns are: • Demand Dignity, which focuses on the people’s right to health and housing without discrimination.

• Individuals At Risk, centered around creating a response to the torturing of detainees.

• Security With Human Rights, to ensure security for citizens by demolishing the cycle of terror and torture ongoing between armed groups and others.

• Abolish the Death Penalty, which, as the name suggests is an effort to rid our country of the legal provisions to sentence accused criminals to their deaths.

They also fight for children’s, women’s and LGBT rights, and of course the fight for international justice. Amnesty achieves all of this in a very peaceful manner. Chapters across the country, and the world, protest through letterwriting campaigns, candlelight vigils, internet petitions and in-person protesting. They aim to educate, and do so by publishing reports that raise awareness, publicizing booklets, posters and newsletters, and sending experts to talk with victims.

In the coming weeks, Purchase students are hoping that an Amnesty International chapter will be opened on our own campus. With the

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overwhelming political passion of the students at Purchase, the proposed chapter has the potential to be incredibly successful not just on campus, but in the entire state.

The formation is still in its early phases, so keep an eye out for posters with the date and location of the first general interest meeting.

For more information:

on Amnesty International:

www.amnesty.org on Amnesty International in America:

www.amnestyusa.org

your.indy@g mail .c o m

SECRET SHOW VOL III DAN DEACON Friday, September 23rd SECOND ANNUAL BROUHAHA Friday, September 23rd The Great Lawn, 2pm-6pm

• • • • • •

dodgeball • photo booth tug-o-war • potato sack race pie eating contest • kickball inflatable obstacle course mechanical bull • cornhole 3-legged race • FREE FOOD!

meet on the Great Lawn at 9pm

GET YOUR FLU SHOT! Health Services now offers flu shots for students for $15.

Call (914) 251‑6385 to schedule an appointment.

Thursday, September 22nd

New to NY Scavenger Hunt Sunday, September 25th 11am-5pm

12 students will be chosen to explore Manhattan in a scavenger hunt. With a prize! email campus.events@purchase.edu for more info

Latin Jazz Night Thursday, September 22nd

Whitson’s at 8:30pm

• Mechanics of the Heart • Mercies • Last Good Tooth

Sunday, September 25th Whitson’s at 8:30pm

• Mount Eerie • Fugue • Nicholas Krgovich • Hyena

Southside at 7pm

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It’s your paper.

Make it the way you want it.

Come to our weekly staff meetings, everyone is welcome!

Monday nights at 9:30pm in office CCN 1011 email your submissions, letters, questions or comments: y o u r. i n d y @ g m a i l . c o m

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CAMPUS

MOVING PLANET

On September 24th, grab your ecofriendly wheels and roll over to the Great Lawn to check out the Green Team’s Moving Planet event.

The initiatives of the event, according to the 350.org website, are to get “science-based policies to get us back to 350ppm,” “a rapid, just transition to zero carbon emissions,” “a mobilization of funding for a fair transition to a 350ppm world,” and “lifting the rights of people over the rights of polluters.”

The event will consist of an eco-activist club fair, environmental workshops, a clothing swap, music, and the biggest part of the event: becoming part of a living, breathing human windmill at 3:50pm. The windmill will be posted on the 350.org website along with photos from other events of human windmills or people spelling out “350.”

350.org is where the idea for Moving Planet, an international event, came from. It is a website that got its name from James E. Hensen’s argument that atmospheric concentrations of carbon dioxide above 350 parts per million (ppm) would be unsafe. Currently, we are at 394ppm.

This should be a worrying number for us all. Even small things to reduce our carbon footprint can affect the world in a variety of ways. The Green Team is bringing Moving Planet to Purchase to educate, inform, and motivate students about making a difference.

Some specific workshops are tables about reducing your carbon “foodprint,” which will help people see how much food affects your own carbon footprint and a tap water challenge that will be a taste test with Dasani, Aquafina, Poland Springs, and tap water.

Since the school has so many people who use their bikes, skateboards and roller blades, it

BY ALEXA DILLENBECK

would be a great idea to bring them to show in the photo how eco-friendly Purchase can be. Alex Wojcik, Purchase’s NYPIRG Project Coordinator, is collaborating with the Green Team, said that Moving Planet is an action toward shifting from “dirty fossil fuels to a clean, green energy future.”

The Green Team’s goals for the year are to get Purchase off of nuclear energy, spread education with weekly missions to create change, and make our campus as green as it claims it is.

The club’s four main missions are to ban bottled water, successfully have composting, trying to keep fracking banned, and widespread student engagement. “I want to encourage people to realize they can make a difference. People need to realize they have the potential to change things,” said Spencer Lynds, junior.

The Green Team meets on Tuesdays at 6pm in the Co-Op.

Moving Planet Eco-Activist Fest Saturday, September 24th the Great Lawn, 2-6:30pm

• • • • •

Jewelweed • Baked Goods Krytical H!t • Buddstep eco-activist club fair environmental workshops clothing swap

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MADAME QUERY

HAS YOUR REMEDY

Dear Madame Query, this summer I had

Dear Madame Query, I have heard from

sex with another man for the first time

numerous people that herpes is spreading

and loved it. I’d like to do it some more

like wildfire around campus. I know I

here at school but I’m afraid if I come out

don’t have it, but if I want to hook up

a lot of people will treat me differently.

with people on campus, what is the best

Should I even tell them or just let them

way to ask and not get left in the cold?

find out?

Madame Query consulted one of her fabulous friends, Monsieur Answer on your question and here is what he had to say. “Purchase is one the most open environments ever. However, you are you and just because there are a thousand out and proud members doesn’t mean you have to be one too. (At least not right away.) Just know that when you’re good and ready, arms will be wide open!”

The Monsieur has a point! I don’t know if I can say it any better, but I will add on since this column belongs to Query not Answer! Like any community, you’re going to have your haters, but luckily those are very sparse. This is an open community, it is your right come out on your own terms. Do what makes you feel best. If it’s not the time, it’s not the time. When it is and you get start having sex on campus, just take Query’s #1 prescribed advice: be safe!

I’m not sure if herpes is spreading like wildfire, but everyone should always act as though it could be. Hear me out. I don’t think we should be living our lives afraid that everyone has herpes, but it never hurts to be cautious.

If this is something running through your head, give yourself a piece of mind and ask whoever may be next in your bed, “have you been tested?” I think in this day and age when we go to a school that is small and sexually open, that’s not going to be a weird question. If your potential partner gets mad about it, then they aren’t worth being your lover anyway.

Don’t forget to get yourself tested, and offer that information to your potential partners!

SUBMIT YOUR QUESTIONS

TO MADAME QUERY http://www.formspring.me/madamequery

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A DV I C E Dear Madame Query, I have been trying for months to convince my girlfriend to take ecstasy and have sex, because I hear it is a million times better, but she won’t. Have you ever enjoyed sextacy?

How can I convince my gf to indulge?

It was about two years ago when Madame was experimenting with the club drug known as “ecstasy.” She was partying like she was the Queen herself. She thought she was superior to everyone and the world around her. She was dancing her face off and then after the hundredth flip of her hair she saw a dapper man from across the room.

He caught her eye intensely and she to his eye as well. They started dancing up on eachother.

Grinding is the exact term. It was like something out of Step Up, only with ecstasy, so it was Step Up 3D. No, wait, this was totally on the level of Save the Last Dance. One thing was leading to another and then he asked the question that sets the rest of the night (bedroom wise).

“You want to go back to my place?” he whispered in Madame’s ear.

Maybe Madame was starting to calm down. Maybe Madame’s common sense is strong enough to conquer any high. That night Madame Query said no! Why? Although it may have felt awesome, the biggest advice ever thrown around about ecstasy given to her was this: do not have sex while rolling.

So I’m going to say it to you, don’t convince your girlfriend to do it. It could be the best orgasm of your life, but won’t it suck when you can’t top that? Yes, it will. You know what?

Shame on you for wanting to have sex on a drug to make it feel a “million times better.” Madame advises you to try some new positions to spice up your sex life!

SUBMIT YOUR QUOTES TO THE INDY’S BACK PAGE, HOORAY!

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SUBMIT BACK PAGE QUOTES VIA THE BOX OUTSIDE CCN 1011 OR ON THE WEB AT: HTTP://FORMSPRING.ME/INDYBACKPAGE

*some quotes have been rewritten for legibility or to preserve the anonymity of the submitter