The Andalucian - May 2014

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Editor’s Slice Hello As you can see, I have been allocated just as little space as last month, but I am delighted to announce that next month, The Andalucían is growing in size to bring you even more adverts and articles of interest and fun. We do not want to become an advertising directory at the cost of losing editorial content for you, so the balance is always a tricky one. Not wanting to dwell on the football season after Liverpool missed out on the top spot this year, I do have to admit that I don’t mind giving over my Slice to others when I have my World Cup scheduler as a centre spread this month! If the football is not for you, read page 19. But I for one will be out of the sun and on the sofa for the next few weeks, cheering England and Spain on — I just hope it’s not all just for the first round! So that's all from me for this month... enjoy the read!

Mike www.facebook.com/theandalucian The Andalucían X5092417D Calle Juanita Romero s/n, Campillos 29320, Malaga Contact us Telephone: +34 952 723075 Mobile: +34 627 683380 info@theandalucian.com www.theandalucian.com Owner: Claire Marriott Editor: Mike Marriott Special thanks to our writers and contributors Alice Marriott De Cotta Law Diana Berryman Fran Rajewski John Sharrock Taylor Robin Savory Sarah Jackson Tricia Johnson

Next deadline: 9 June We won’t be beaten on advertising prices

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Useless things you just don’t need to know about... Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand. February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot. If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Almonds are members of the peach family. The youngest pope was 11 years old. A snail can sleep for 3 years. China has more English speakers than the United States. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue – true for both genders!

Just for Fun

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you pass wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

Spanish and English Lawyers ✓ Conflict over taking children overseas after a divorce ✓ Kidnapping and child abduction

Head Office Spain (Mijas): Centro Comercial Valdepinos 1 y 3ª Urb. Calypso, 29649 Mijas Costa (Málaga)

T:+34 952 931 781

✓ Divorce and property ✓ Division of pensions

F:+34 952 933 547 E: mijasenquiries@decottalaw.net

www.decottalaw.com

Mijas Costa | Coin | Nerja | Tenerife

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Things to Do

First Marbella

Classic Grand Prix

The founders of the Hungarian Oldtimer-Supercup, and organisers of some of the biggest and bestknown car events in Eastern Europe, have announced the date for the inaugural Marbella Classic Grand Prix, in association with the Marbella Town Hall. It will take place on June 8. Following the success of the BALATON CLASSiC and MiSTER CLASSiC, the organisers have decided to spread their wings to the glamorous destination of Marbella and Puerto Banús. They have arranged this exclusive one-day open road race (Classic Regularity Rally), for classic, road-legal cars produced before 31st December 1980. Just 50 cars will be allowed to participate in the first running of the race and entries will be reviewed by the Race Committee to ensure an exceptional selection of classic cars. This event of skill and timing takes place on public roads, adhering to the rules of the Highway Code and requires participants to complete sections in a pre-

determined time, as well as special stages requiring split-second accuracy. These special stages are completed at slow speeds without stopping the car, and penalty points are given for every 0.01 second difference from the allotted completion time. The winner is the team with the fewest penalty points throughout the day, and it will be presented with its awards at a glamorous prize-giving ceremony and gala dinner. The event is officially timed by internationallyrecognised sport judges ChronoMoto, the official timekeeping team of the FIA Rallycross European Championship, and is staged in association with CASINO Marbella and Marbella Town Hall. It will turn Marbella into the latest destination for classic car fans and collectors, and be a draw for both drivers and tourists alike. Race Founders Attila J. HEGYI and Zoltán PÉTERVÁRI commented, “We are delighted to have the support of Jose Luis Hernandez and all the team at the Marbella Town Hall in making the first running of this race a reality, and allowing us to show off this beautiful city and its surroundings to classic car enthusiasts from around Europe.” Participants are asked to register online at http://www. chronomoto.hu/online/mcgp/ and more information can be found on the Facebook page https://www. facebook.com/marbellaclassicgrandprix. Residents and tourists around Marbella and the Costa del Sol are invited to the start and finish of the race, as well as checkpoints and special stages in key destinations, to admire the cars and the drivers’ skill and accuracy. Participants will be able to experience the thrill and challenges of the race, enjoy the beautiful surroundings and take part in the Marbella Luxury Weekend activities. The full route for drivers and spectators will be available on the official website www. marbellaclassicgrandprix.es.

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Things to Do Residents and tourists around Marbella and the Costa del Sol are invited to the start and finish of the race, as well as check-points and special stages in key destinations along the route, to admire the cars and enjoy the atmosphere. The race will start at 10.00am in Puerto Banus and pass through the key destinations of Marbella, Elviria, La Mairena, Cabopino, La Cala de Mijas , Mijas, Fuengirola, Villa Padierna, San Pedro, Aloha Golf, the Golden Mile and Sierra Blanca and there are opportunities to come and watch along the route. Below are the key checkpoints and timed exercises – 10.00 Start - Paseo Alberto Vidiella Tudores Puerto Banus (cars departing at minute intervals) 10.15 – Timed exercise Tourist Office on Av. Duque de Ahumada, Marbella 10.55 - La Mairena Ruta de Panorama Timed exercise at 10.40 11.05 – Checkpoint Cabopino Monument 11.13 – Cala de Mijas market timed exercise 12.10 – Checkpoint Plaza de la Constitución Mijas 12.20 – Calle Sierra Nevada timed exercise 12.40 – Checkpoint Paseo Maritimo Rey de España Fuengirola 14.35 – Villa Padierna timed exercise

14.50 – San Pedro Market timed exercise 15.10 – Timed exercise car park next to Aloha College 15.55 - Timed exercise Tourist Office on Av. Duque de Ahumada, Marbella 16.05 – Checkpoint Av. Dr. Maiz Vinals, Marbella 16.20 - San Pedro Market timed exercise 17.30 – Finish Calle Jose Saramago, Puerto Banus Please note that the organisers retain the right to change this schedule if necessary. For further information visit the official website www. marbellaclassicgrandprix.es.

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Book Review

A new approach to

giving up smoking

At The Andalucían we like to introduce new authors to you from time to time, so it is with great pleasure that we bring you another new talent this month in the form of Patrick Darnbrough. Patrick has previously penned work for children but has ventured away from this into non-fiction with his new offering ‘Quit smoking: my way, the slow way.’ The main content of the book is to show smokers where they've gone wrong and explain how they got sucked into smoking in the first place. Then, Patrick’s method shows the smoker how to tackle the job of giving it up — for good! With a new way of attacking the addiction, this plan helps you to follow your goal through to the end. The secret is in the three-pronged attack which includes self-hypnosis and basic maths to reduce the amount

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smoked weekly. By cutting down gradually, it makes stopping more achievable and also eliminates any further damage to your health with withdrawal pangs. Published by Authorhouse, Quit smoking: my way the slow way is available to buy on Amazon. Patrick was born in Dublin, Eire, one of 12 children ─ six of each sex. He has lived in five different countries including the UK, Australia and now Spain. A self-confessed humanologist, he also studied accountancy in Sydney, and then went on to become a pub licensee with Grand Met. Patrick is also a singer and songwriter, and plays many instruments including piano, keyboard and guitar. With his wife Linda, Patrick moved to Spain in 2003 and has lived in Andalucía ever since.

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Charity News

5x50 Challenge

and beyond!

By Fran Rajewski Saturday 4 pm I am writing these few lines while waiting for the sun to come down and the heat to decrease so I can take hubby, the dogs and myself for a walk. Today, however, is a day of two halves as I was supposed to be in London with my friends, power walking a marathon to raise funds and awareness for breast cancer. Unfortunately, life got in the way of things and emergency surgery a few weeks back prevented me from flying and attending the event, also putting my 5x50 efforts on hold. But I learned to be patient, thanks to a worldwide network of virtual and reallife friends and, taking it a day at a time, I enjoy the simple truth of being well enough and alive. I am looking at 5x50 with new eyes, both as a tool and strength to keep me motivated in what is essentially a bump on the road and not a car crash. 5x50 has been an extraordinary venture again this year with the team fundraising for a myriad of charities. The €s and £s are adding up by the day. In addition, I have also been informed by 5x50 HQ that the articles in The Andalucían have travelled and motivated some people to get moving, and in a time of convalescence, it warmed my heart to read about Dinah C’s testimonial and how she enjoys the challenge: “...Then, here in Spain where we now live, l had a replacement of the prosthetic hip in January. The change was immediate — no more pain after all those years. Whilst l was sitting here recuperating l read the 5x50 article in our local magazine, The Andalucían. It hit me right between the eyes and l just knew that this was what l wanted to do. What better way than a 30-minute outing every day, relearning to walk? To take my little dog for walkies again was such a driving force. It has been a wonderful experience. Hard, of course. Some days almost impossible. Others exhilarating. But overall a joy. Thank you, 5x50, for being in my life and hopefully in another 25 days, l won't be lurching around quite so much.” So what is a 5er (5x50 team leader) to do when surrounded by all this motivation and a super international team who will have run, walked, swum, exercised, etc. close to or over 4,000 kms by the end of the challenge? GO TEAM ANDALUCIA AND BEYOND!!!!

This 5er will go on doing her 5x365 to ensure to be fit for 5x50 2015 and who knows, maybe some of you would like to join us? If you are interested in this allyear fitness craziness, let us know and I can create a Facebook page to keep track. If you have been participating in this year’s 5x50 Challenge, please send us any photos, and the kilometres you have tallied up so we can thank you in next month’s Andalucían. Don’t forget to keep going — 5x50 doesn’t have to end on the 50th day as it truly can be a year of Team Andalucía and beyond!

At the top of

the CHAIN

Having started in 2009, CHAIN (Charity for Animals in Need) is five years on in helping Spain’s abused and neglected animals. Visit the store at La Trocha Centro in Coin (next to the BP garage) to experience not only the quality and selection of goods available but feel the sense of the community on offer too. It is this wonderful community calling that helped to inspire local man George Mitchell to raise funds for the non profitmaking cause. George recently completed a run from Fuengirola to Gibraltar in aid of the animal charity. Completing the course in a gruelling 27 hours George raised an amazing of 207€. To see the ever-growing total the charity are raising or contact CHAIN visit www.chaininspain.net or see page 30 for more details.

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Spotlight

Confessions of a barman’s bottom knocker

by John Sharrock Taylor

The Incident of the Exploding Bus Driver was one of the more memorable moments during my occasional forays into the real world. And before we go into the whys and wherefores of the explosion, which happened one fine summer morning in 1966 on the A49 near Eccleston, I’d better say something about that ‘real world’. In the bar the other night after choir practice, my friend Professor Jim Alty, a professional ponderer on the nature of reality, spoke of the possible existence of parallel universes. The idea immediately rang a bell. I taught in schools for 38 years and I would have retired a millionaire if I’d had a grand for every time someone told me ‘You teachers don’t know you’re born. You should try living in the real world.’ I’ve never been quite sure about this real world in which my various interlocutors believed they were living and I wasn’t. Perhaps they thought mine didn’t contain such afflictions as children, mortgages, mothers-in-law, income tax, gas bills and ingrowing toenails. Perhaps they were misled by the old 9-4 cliché. If so, I would have been delighted to have them shadow me through my 7-day, 70-odd hour working week as a headmaster, and even let them have a go at unravelling Dennis, the Year Ten psychopath, who would insert the chuck key on the invisible side of the bench drill in the hope that it would fly out and maim the CDT teacher when it was started up. After 24 years of failing to locate reality in places as exotic as Wigan and Newcastle upon Tyne, Val and I decided to seek it further afield. In 1991 we flew to New York with Richard (11) and Will (9), bought a van and drove a meandering 3000-mile route through the southern USA, Mexico and Guatemala to take up jobs in San Salvador. We climbed active volcanoes, became marginally involved in two civil wars, heard a lot of shooting and bombs going off and stared uncomfortably down the wrong end of some submachine guns. Nothing, we felt, could possibly be more real than this and we came home after three years, avid to tell our friends and family all about it.

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It turned out that they couldn’t have cared less about our adventures in Central America (‘that was Idaho, wasn’t it, where they grew the spuds?’) but they were deeply worried about all the Coronation Street episodes we’d missed. It seemed that the elusive portal into the real world was located in some place called Wetherfield. In spite of those missed episodes I’ve been something of a Corrie fan ever since that first gritty episode in 1960. And of course that word ‘gritty’ is the key to this whole reality business. When folk tell me I need to live in the real world, they mean the world of real people who do real jobs such as mining, weaving and steel making ─ except of course that hardly anyone in the ‘west’ does those jobs any more, though they were still doing some of them when I became a teacher in the 1960s. And that brings me a step or two nearer to the Exploding Bus Driver. I wasn’t the first schoolmaster to darken the family doorstep. That dubious honour belongs to my great, great, great-grandfather Thomas Shaw, who was already busily dusting the seats of juvenile Wigan trousers by the time of the 1841 Census. But I’m fairly sure I was the first in our family to attend a university. The United States has a long tradition of youngsters working their way through college, and from the mid 20th century this gradually became the norm in Britain too. Student grants (those were the days!) made it unnecessary for most students to take on weekday or weekend jobs but, together with most of my contemporaries, I did a variety of work during the vacations. Christmas mail delivery paid quite well (tips were much more plentiful in the workingclass terraces than in the posh suburbs such as Orrell or Wigan Lane) but after stamping the same serial number on several thousand identical brass tags throughout an eight-hour shift in an electrical elements factory in Skem, I cheerfully opted for a happier, if penniless, Easter.

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Spotlight My favourite forms of summer reality were bus conducting and working in the linoleum warehouse. The lino was made at Heapey, near Chorley, by a firm called Witters, and the head foreman ─ a very tall, elderly chap called Eric who wore an enormous tweed cap ─ surprised me on my first day by quoting Wittgenstein. Huge rolls of linoleum, six feet in diameter, were delivered from the factory and it was the job of our crew ─ a mixture of regulars and summer casuals ─ to prepare it for sale by cutting it into retail sizes. Each of the big rolls had to be grasped by the top and tipped over onto a ‘bogy’ ─ a stoutly-built, iron-wheeled truck about three feet by four. If you positioned your bogy correctly, the roll descended neatly onto it and balanced so you could wheel it to the cutting machine with little effort. If you got it wrong, the bogy flirted out from underneath it and struck your shins at about a million miles an hour.

layer of unreality was creeping in. I was already in love with the splendid tunes and unlikely plots of grand opera, and a South Sea island, presided over by the High Priest of the Great God Balatum, seemed the perfect setting for a Bizet or Weber extravaganza. I mentioned my fantasy during tea break. To my surprise, the whole crew, including the regulars, seized on the idea and the appearance of our philosophical foreman at the door of the cutting shop would be a cue for a muttered stage direction: ‘Enter Eric, Master of the Rolls and High Priest of Balatum, in ceremonial cap’.

The trade label of our brand of linoleum was Balatum; a name which seemed to me to conjure up the South Sea islands of Gauguin and Somerset Maugham, complete with smoking volcanoes and voluptuous maidens in grass skirts. Such imaginings added a pleasingly surreal dimension to the mundane world of floorcovering manufacture, and an even stranger

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Continued on page 10

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Spotlight In the middle of the summer, when more people than usual were on holiday, there came a lull in the retail demand for lino and we began to be afraid that some of us would be laid off. It was Danny, one of the regulars and a smiling leprechaun of a man, who came up with a solution: ‘Boys, I’m convinced there’s something weird about one of them rolls in the warehouse. You know, that large coloured gentleman’ in the far right hand corner. (One has to be PC these days, you see, unlike back then.) I reckon if we was to sacrifice an apprentice or two to that big sod all our troubles would be over in a flash.’

The linoleum cutting machine was operated by three men: the Buttonman, the Barman and the Barman’s Bottom Knocker. The Buttonman was in charge of the operation as a whole, starting and stopping the process and generally making sure that there was no loss of lino, time or fingers. It was the Barman’s job to load the roll onto the cutter and he did this by running a huge, gleaming steel bar through the centre of it as it lay on the bogy, locating one of the sockets of the machine with the free end of the bar and then lifting the roll so the handle end could also be dropped into its respective socket. As the Barman’s Bottom Knocker I had the most intriguing title ─ albeit the least interesting job. The blades on each side of the table were designed to give a neat trim to the edges of the finished length. Newly-cut lino is sticky stuff, and the severed ribbon of material would still adhere to the roll so it was my job to tap it gently with a wooden cloth yard so that it fell off into the waste basket. After a couple of weeks at this fascinating task I was promoted to Barman, and that was where I almost came to grief.

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After packaging and labelling, the retail rolls were scooped up at high speed by the Scammell Men, so called from the truck in which they dashed between the warehouse and various shipping terminals. The Scammell men were a completely different species from us. Tough Klingons to our puny Earthlings, they spoke only to each other, in monosyllabic Scammell grunts. They were on piece work, which meant that their earnings depended on the number of deliveries they were able to make in a day, so when they entered the warehouse, they literally hit the ground running and dashed with their handcarts along the narrow passages between the big rolls, in the certain knowledge that they had absolute priority. The concept of induction training was still far in the future but on our first working day, Eric had impressed on us: ‘You must never, and I mean NEVER get in the way of a Scammell Man.’ But I didn’t just get in the way of a Scammell Man. I knocked him arse over tip and made him turn a somersault. One afternoon, I was trundling my bogy along a side alley of the warehouse, the steel bar of the cutting machine already transfixing the roll I was carrying and sticking out a good three feet ahead of it. This, of course, would have been strictly contrary to ‘Elf-and-Safety’ had such a notion then existed. I wasn’t looking where I was going. In fact, I was quietly composing a philosophical aria for Eric, Basso Cantante: ‘Ludwig, mein freund, wie bist dein’ tractatus?’ I emerged from my side alley into the main thoroughfare at the precise moment when Kevin the Scammell Man reached the junction. There was no possibility of avoiding a collision. Kevin’s handcart struck the projecting steel pole and stopped dead. Kevin did not stop dead. He described a less-thangraceful arabesque over the top of the pole and landed with a crash on the concrete floor. Struggling into a sitting position, he glared at me across the overturned handcart. ‘I’m truly sorry,’ I began penitently. ‘I do hope you’re not hurt.’ Kevin neither swore nor raised his voice, which only added to the menace of his reply. ‘I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m sorry I’ve not time to give you the kicking you deserve. Not now, anyway, because my team’s due at the docks in less than an hour. But tomorrow’s my afternoon off and I’ll be waiting when you come off shift.’

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Spotlight I’m not tall and Kevin wasn’t much bigger than me but he was clearly tough, determined and a lot fitter than any effete student opera buff. Two or three years older than me, dark-haired and a lot better looking, he reminded me a lot of James Dean, and I definitely didn’t fancy my chances in what Jimmy’s 'On the Waterfront' character would no doubt have called a ‘rumble’. Even so, I was enjoying my time at Witters ─ the money was good, and I had no intention of being bullied out of the job. Calling in sick on the following day would merely have postponed matters, so I decided with great misgivings to tough it out. As he had promised, Kevin was waiting a hundred yards from the works gates when I came off shift the following afternoon. News of impending disaster travels fast, and a small crowd had gathered to witness my death. We faced each other like gunfighters along the length of the silent street and as I slowly began to walk towards my adversary, I swear I could hear the jingle of phantom spurs.

As we settled in behind the long, scrubbed table in the Bull’s Head, Danny muttered ‘Jaysus, Jack, that was one stupendous bluff. I thought you wuz a gonner there, my lad.’ ‘B*ll*cks!’ The speaker was Dave, another of the Scammell crew. ‘Kev was the one who was bluffing. After shooting his mouth off yesterday he had to come today, and he was praying you’d not turn up. Anyway Ingrid, his girlfriend, wouldn’t let him fight even if he wanted to.’ Kevin caught my eye across the table. ‘She's scared I’d my spoil my good looks,’ he said with a sheepish grin.

John’s next job ‘on the buses’ was no less exciting and next month, he reveals exactly how the bus driver exploded....

Kevin was clad in a rock star uniform of black leather jacket, jeans and cowboy boots and I felt distinctly underdressed in my dungarees. With no more than ten yards between us, we stopped as if by mutual consent. In the Old West this would have been time to draw, so I reached into the pocket of my overalls and produced the rusty three pound hammer we used for breaking up coke in the wash house at home. Kevin regarded me levelly from under dark eyebrows. ‘Do you want a fight?’ ‘I’d rather have a pint.’ ‘Me too.’

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Health & Beauty

How to make exercise a daily habit... The problem with trying to make exercise a habit ─ and it’s something that we’ve all faced ─ is that you usually try to exercise three or four times a week… and that makes creating a new exercise habit difficult. The more consistent an action is, the more likely it is to be a habit. This statement is something I fully agree with. Exercising every day is more likely to result in a habit — something that becomes almost automatic, and much easier, instead of a constant struggle. Having signed up for the 5x50 Challenge, I’ve been implementing this idea in my daily life recently, alternating every day between different exercises: walking, running, swimming, biking, yoga and workouts, as a way of reaching my goal of completing the Sports Relief Challenge. I’m going to continue this habit change after the 5x50 has finished. I tried to make exercise a habit last year when I participated with Fran and her 5x50 group, but halfway into 2013 I got sick and had to stop. I’m re-starting the habit formation programme now! If you’re going to make this a habit, and don’t want to join the 5x50, do a personal 30-day challenge, and by the end of this your habit should be pretty well ingrained. Here are some practical suggestions I’ve learned along the way to help make exercise a daily habit: 1. Set a time. Decide whether you’re more likely to stick with it in the morning, lunchtime or evening, and

stick with that time. I’ve set myself two alternating times: one in the morning and the day after at 7:30 pm, and I’m trying my best not to vary from those times. If you don’t set a time, you’re more likely to put it off until you have more time or energy, and then put it off until the next day. Soon, it’s not a habit at all. 2. Send yourself a reminder. I use the free services of www.memotome.com but there are a number of ways to send yourself an email or text reminder, so you’ll never forget. Then, when you get the reminder, do it right away. 3. Start small. This is perhaps the most useful suggestion of all. When I start exercising, I always start with lots of energy, enthusiasm and ambition. I think I can do more than I can. However, doing too much in the beginning leads to burnout, which in turn leads to you quitting your habit. When you first try to make exercise a daily habit, the chances are your body won’t be used to that kind of stress. The key? Only do 30 minutes in the beginning, and do it nice and easy; nothing hard. Even 10-15 minutes is fine at first, if you’re just starting out. The key is to get out there, get your body slowly used to daily exercise, and form that habit. 4. Progress later. Once your body is used to daily exercise, you can slowly start to increase the amount and intensity of it. Wait at least two weeks before starting to increase — that’s the minimum time your body needs in which to adjust. Once it begins to feel way too easy, you can start increasing the length of your workouts to 40 and then 50 minutes, and eventually up to an hour. Once you do that, you can gradually increase the intensity — running faster or harder, for example. Try not to increase both distance and intensity at the same time. 5. Make it pleasurable. If you associate a habit with pain, you will shy away from it. But if it’s fun, you’ll look forward to doing it. That’s why, in this beginning stage of my new habit, I’ve been focusing

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Health & Beauty on pleasure. I go slowly, enjoying the scenery, the fresh morning air, the beautiful sky as the sun rises or the quiet time of solitude and contemplation in the early evening. It’s actually something I enjoy doing. An mp3 player with some great music helps. 6. Lay out your gear. The fewer obstacles and less friction there is in forming your new habit, the more likely you are to be successful. If you have to not only wake up early but get a bunch of gear together while half awake, you might just want to go back to bed. But if you lay out your workout clothes, shoes, watch and mp3 player/phone, or whatever you need for your exercise, you’ll be ready to go with no friction at all. Don’t forget to take a bottle of water on the warmer days. 7. Just head out of the door. My rule is just to get my running shoes on and get out of the door. I don’t worry about how long I have to go or how hard it will be. Just get out and get started. Once I’ve done that, it’s a piece of cake. 8. Mix it up. One thing I like about the 5x50 Challenge is that my daily exercise isn’t boring — instead of running every single day, now I’ve got a variety of sports and exercises to do, and that makes it much more interesting. But perhaps just as important is that with each sport, I’m using different muscles ─ especially with swimming and yoga. Even with a walk through the local park and a stop to use the exercise equipment you find there is a great chance to spice it up a little. Sure, some of the same muscles are used, but they’re used differently with different stresses on them. What that means is that I’m not pounding the same muscles every day. That gives them a chance to recover, because without recovery, you’re just breaking your muscles down over and over again.

9. Have a relative rest day. Again, recovery is very important — which is why you need to give your body a chance to rest. If you’re taking it easy and only doing 30 minutes, you should be OK without rest days. But it’s still good to have one day of rest ─ not a day off, but one when you’re not doing the same exercises as on the other six days. You don’t want to skip the day completely, because then you’re not being consistent with your habit. That’s why I do one day of strength training, where I don’t use the same muscles as swimming, biking and running. If you need more rest, you could just do 30 minutes of walking, or even just a session of yoga and meditation. The key is to do something every day ─ preferably something that gets you moving and keeps your habit formation going. 10. Don’t skip a day. It’s easy to say, “No problem, I’ve been doing it for five days… I’ll just skip today!” But that will make your habit formation harder. Consistency is key, so try not to skip a single day. If you do, don’t beat yourself up, though. Don’t judge, don’t feel bad — everyone messes up sometimes, and habit formation is a skill that requires practice. Just start your 30-day challenge over again, and try to identify the obstacle that led to your skipping a day and prepare for it this time.

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Things to Do

2500 different cacti now on view

by Robin Savory

Spain’s largest cactus and succulent collection is now open for public viewing after an enterprising duo from the village agreed to take on full responsibility for looking after the 8,000 sq metre garden, which overlooks the beautiful and historic village of Casarabonela. High in the hills of the Sierra de las Nieves, it is only about 30 minutes from Malaga and the coast. The collection was brought to the area by Edwige Bravard and Joan Gabriel Mora in 1995 from Mallorca because of the superior micro-climate, and El Jardin Botanico de Cactus y otros Succulents “Mora i Bravard” de Casarabonela was completed in 2011. However, in spite of the impressive facilities and stunning collection of over 2,500 succulents and cacti, it was never properly functional until now. Mariano Carrasco, 35, well known in the area for his translation and catering skills, teamed up with mother-of-two Tania Muovett Doublet. She was also born in the village, has a degree in tourism and used to be in charge of Casarabonela’s tourist and information office. The pair have been working at the museum since January, but it was only at the end of April that they were granted a full licence to operate the gardens and take on full responsibility for the venture, which was conceived by the local town hall’s previous administration, who arranged for the scientific horticultural side to be supervised by the University of Malaga’s Botanical Department.

Take a “world tour” under one roof. Everything is carefully labelled and at one end there are rows and rows of plants for sale at prices as low as 50 cents. 14

The facilities, which cost over three million euros, include a conference room for 80 people, a scientific department, reception and tourist centre, a library and gift shop full of locally-made and grown produce, a bar and terrace area as well as toilets, disabled walkways, a car and coach park. A huge greenhouse covers a quarter of the gardens, and houses about a third of the 11000 plants which have come from all over the world. The terrace overlooks a fish pool and then up to the village with the towering peaks of the Sierra de la Prieta dominating the skyline. “We have the second largest collection in Europe, and the largest in Spain,” says Mariano, who acts as an English/Spanish translator. “We have hundreds of species for sale which are brought on by the University’s Botanical Department.

“It is early days at the moment, but Tania and I have many ideas for developing this venture into a properly sustainable business venture by encouraging tourism, holding seminars and creating special events.” There is also a plan to light up the gardens at night during the height of summer, so that visitors can come in the cooler part of the day and enjoy a dinner and drink on the terrace.

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Things to Do The terrace area outside reception where people can enjoy some refreshment, visit the gift shop and take in the stunning scenery.

As it is such a new venture for them, every euro has to be put back into the business — they are not even paying themselves wages yet. “Marketing costs are high,” Mariano continues, “but we are getting good results from what little we have been able to do so far.” All the plants are named, and many are grouped into regions or countries of origin. In the greenhouse, species of diverse origins are grouped together so it is possible to see plants from the Americas growing happily next to plants from Africa. The web site www.cactuscasarabonela.uma.es contains more than 1000 pictures of the various plants, which are divided into 14 families.

“At the moment we can serve an all-day breakfast as well as hot and cold drinks, though given notice we can serve larger meals for groups,” says Mariano, who has extensive catering experience.

Entrance charges are only 3 euros for adults with discounts for pensioners. There is good wheelchair access everywhere. Opening hours are 10 am to 6 pm, though during the heat of the summer, the centre will close between 2 pm and 4 pm, but be open later in the evenings. Being on the main road just before you reach the village itself, it is easy to find and there is a car park outside the main gate.

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Around Andalucía

A weekend with the

Alpacas

By Diana Berryman

We couldn’t decide what to do on our youngest boy’s birthday this year — normally it is a party at home or at a party place, but as either option involves 20 noisy kids, they didn’t appeal to us. Then I saw a Facebook post from my friends Lorna and Alan offering a onenight, two-day stay with them at their alpaca farm in Cordoba; barbecue and breakfast included. The kids were up for it and it was a great opportunity for us to finally meet Lorna and Alan in the flesh after knowing them for several years on Facebook. Our plans were made! Lorna and Alan live in a beautiful renovated farm in the lush countryside of Cordoba. They rent out their apartment for holidays and also do a night package and a day package to meet the alpacas. You arrive in the afternoon and have a look around the farm, play with the dogs, feed the chickens, chill out for a

bit in the beautiful (huge) apartment and then relax in the lovely courtyard while Alan cooks a mountain of barbecue food. The next day you get breakfast and then go for a walk with the alpacas — a once in a lifetime opportunity! It really is a special experience; I can’t recommend it highly enough. The kids were in heaven with all the animals and we all fell in love with the dogs. The food is amazing — Alan is the barbecue king and Lorna’s salads and side dishes are to die for. Alan is so patient with children as they follow him around asking all sorts of questions while helping to feed the animals, and Lorna was born to be a hostess. The walk with the alpacas was just lovely; the countryside is beautiful there and the alpacas are so sweet; the kids loved every minute. Breakfast was a relaxed and delicious treat, and we were spoiled rotten. Lorna and Alan could not make you feel more welcome. If you want a special, once-in-a-lifetime experience, then this is for you. When you contact them to book an overnight package, especially for readers of The Andalucían, use the code Diana1 for a fantastic 50€ discount! Lorna and Alan also offer day packages, so have a look here: http://whats-an-alpaca.com/meetthe-alpacas/ for more information and prices etc. For a slightly less adventurous getaway, you could visit us and stay in our farmhouse apartment close to Archidona. We are offering a 10 per cent discount to readers of The Andalucían, so use code Andalucian1 when contacting us. Check us out here http://www. ownersdirect.co.uk/spain/S13901.htm Read our review on Lorna’s new book — From sequins to sunshine in the next issue of The Andalucían. Can’t wait... order your copy today in Kindle format on Amazon.co.uk.es and .com

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Girls’ Talk

Are you a World Cup

widow?

If you plan to be glued to the screen for the forthcoming weeks of the World Cup, bully for you. But this article is for women who don't watch at all. So, ladies, this is for those of you whose partners will be mesmerised by men in shorts running around kicking a piece of leather back and forth — I’m sure there’s more to it than that but it’s hard to see! I usually get my hubby back at this time of year when the footie season comes to an end, and he consoles himself with the ‘never mind, maybe next year’ sulky routine. But there’s no rest this year, as it is time for the World Cup to beam into our homes and remain that way for the next few weeks. Maybe this is the time to see all those movies your husband wouldn't want to watch with you, go to the beach, see your old friends – that is if you can find a babysitter, because hubby probably wouldn't even notice if all your children were wandering towards the road or into the neighbours' pool. Ways to tell that you are a World Cup widow: • You won last week’s Euro Millions, and you find there hasn't been an opportunity to tell your husband — so go shopping; he’ll click on soon enough! • Your toddler spoke his first words this week, and sadly they were… red card. • Twice this week you have found your husband fast asleep on the sofa – at 4 am with the TV flickering in the background. • You took the rubbish and recycling yourself twice this week – it was less hassle than asking him. • You've cut your hair short and dyed it red – and he hasn't noticed. • Your husband's hand twitched in his sleep – as if he was holding the TV remote. • The whole family has not had a meal around the table once in the past month. • You were allowed to cook the BBQ yourself. • You feel a bit miffed that he's taking his annual leave now – does this mean you're going to the Bahamas by yourself if you won the Euro Millions? Guessing that’s a yes! • You are sure that if you were to feed him boiled cardboard and tomato sauce, he would not notice. • He forgot it was his own birthday last Wednesday and you don't hold out much hope that he will organise a surprise party for yours next week .

• You suspect your husband might have to be surgically removed from the sofa by the end of the tournament. • The household beer consumption has risen dramatically. • He used to kiss you when he came home — now he just gropes around for the TV remote control. • Your mum has been to stay for a long weekend and he didn’t even go out! • The dog has learned how to take itself for a walk. • There are fewer items of his in the wash — but the football shirt he’s wearing will walk there on its own in a month! • You’ve learned how to change the gas bottle yourself. • The local albino has more of a sun-tan than your husband! • You can’t get in the bathroom once the half-time whistle has blown. • ‘For God’s sake’, ‘C’mon ref’, ‘seriously – what’s he thinking’ and ‘that was in’ are the longest sentences your husband has said out loud in weeks. • The fastest you see your man jump off the sofa is when you flick the electric trip switch – well, it keeps him fit! Remember, ladies — keep calm. It’ll all be over in a month and you’ll get your man back!

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Just for Fun

Twenty teasers - mixed bag of mind-blowing questions 1. Which U.S. President was nicknamed ‘Ike’? 2. The Gobi Desert lies within which two countries? 3. Which UK television show has a theme tune entitled ‘It’s Alright’? 4. Which English comedian, presenter and actor hosted a 2013 talk show alongside his Dad? 5. In which year did the first series of The X-Factor begin in the UK? 6. In which country was Sigmund Freud born? 7. In which year was the official opening of the Eiffel Tower held? 8. In which country was Jean-Claude Van Damme born? 9. The former ‘Republic of Rhodesia’ is now which country? 10. Marshall Bruce Mathers III found fame under which stage name? 11. What is the currency of Iceland? 12. What is the medical name for the shin bone? 13. If something is cooked in the style ‘Lyonnaise’, what does it contain?

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14. Which planet has an orbit which reaches closest to Earth? 15. In which year did the period of prohibition in the USA end? 16. Which of the wives of Henry VIII was the second to be executed? 17. What is the name of the household butler in ‘The Addams Family’? 18. Captain Sensible sang the theme tune to which UK TV game show? 19. Who wrote the original French gothic novel ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’? 20. What type of animal is an Appaloosa? You can find the answers on page 30.

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Alice’s Wonderland

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Charity News

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Legal Advice

Custody of children By De Cotta Law The Spanish courts have always had jurisdiction to decide on matters affecting children who are habitually resident here. However for many years this did not necessarily mean that Spanish law would be applied to decisions about custody, visits and maintenance, as the matters were often decided under the law of the child’s nationality. Since the introduction of European regulations on the law applicable to children, the Spanish court will apply its own law to questions about the child’s welfare. The payment is decided in the country where the creditor — ie the parent who is owed the maintenance — is habitually resident. Therefore a mother or father owed maintenance in Spain needs to apply to the Spanish court. Best Interests of the Child If the parents cannot agree about custody and the level of maintenance payable, the Spanish court will decide, based on the best interests of the child. Both parents automatically have shared parental responsibility. This means they should be involved in decisions about the child’s education, health care and general wellbeing. However this is not the same as having joint custody, when the child lives with one parent but has regular contact with the other. If the parents cannot agree and the judge has to make the decision, the standard or “default” regime for the parent without custody in Spain is every other weekend, four weeks in summer and alternate Christmas and Easter holidays.

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International Perspective Where the parents live in different countries, this can be adapted to take account of the travel needs and additional costs involved. In most cases, the parents agree on their own pattern of visits and custody, but it is important to realise that the court will always protect the parent who does not have custody in requiring regular contact. The fixed regime brings continuity to the children, who will then have a routine. In some regions of Spain, such as Valencia, the courts do prefer to see joint custody, but this does not necessarily mean that 50 per cent of the time must be spent with each parent. It may mean three days with one parent and four with the other, or alternate weeks. This is always provided the court can see it is in the best interests of the child and is a positive and stable outcome. There are some pressure groups now fighting for joint custody for all parents, but until now there is no national legislation, although consultations are continuing. See advert on page 3 for details on how to contact your local branch of De Cotta Law.

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Spotlight


Health & Beauty

Why weight?

by Sarah Jackson

Summer is on its way, and soon we are going to have to wear fewer clothes! Swimsuits even! Are you happy with how you perceive your body? Will you wear your bikini with pride? Or, are you planning ─ or dreading (as you do every spring) ─ how to get into shape for summer? Is this you? You’ve tried every diet that has ever reared its Trojan-like head ─ some of them more than once. You’ve signed up to all the weight-loss groups in existence and joined at least one gym every couple of years. You have an exercise bike that is very effective at guarding your not-quiteready-for-the-wash clothes and whose handlebars you haven’t actually seen for several years. Sometimes you have been successful at shifting a good proportion of the weight you do not want ─ especially when you had a special occasion that required you to ‘look good’. You may even, with a great deal of will power, have successfully kept it off for a while, but irrespective of how hard you try to stick to your resolve, the weight always comes back, plus a bit. You eat because you are bored, lonely, anxious, sad, happy, excited, nervous; because you would upset someone if you didn’t... many reasons other than just because you are hungry. You find yourself obsessing about food constantly. You feel ashamed and guilty after eating. Often you stuff yourself to the point of feeling uncomfortable, in an attempt to change the way you feel ─ only to end up feeling guilty, ashamed and unhappy. You don’t look in full-length mirrors. If you do, you really do not like what you see, often saying something unkind to yourself about your body as you catch a glimpse. You are at the end of your tether. What to do about your weight? You have tried everything; nothing works for very long and you feel desperate. Diets are the only things which promise the results you want, but you know they don’t work ─ not in the long term. If any of this resonates with you, you are not alone.

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If you knew how to stop eating when you were full, how to walk away from the foods that you know are not serving you, how to eat smaller portions of healthier food and how to exercise more, you would have done it years ago. The pattern always repeats itself. Does any of this sound familiar? It is Monday, You decide that this is it ─ you are going to lose weight, for good. You find ‘The Diet’, you do the shopping, buy in the ‘right’ food and eat up all the fattening stuff you have in the cupboards so that it can’t tempt you when you start. You decide to follow this diet to the letter. You will follow the rules, write down everything you eat and drink ─ you are even going to join an exercise class. You feel good, your willpower is strong. You know that this time, this diet/healthy eating regime will really work because you are in the zone, ready to do it. By the end of the first week things are going well. You have lost weight. At the beginning of the second week you are invited out for lunch by a friend. You choose salad. Your friend says ‘Go on, treating yourself just this once won’t hurt.’ You stick to your resolve and you have salad. You go home. You did well; you feel selfrighteous, invincible, on track. That night, at your exercise class/power walk/ jog, you feel a tweak; that old injury flaring up again. You continue, but that night it hurts. You’ll rest for the next couple of days to let it get better. Your friend rings. You are invited to a party at the weekend. Next morning you wake, the old injury really twinges, you are a bit late for your appointment, so you leave the house without breakfast ─ no time to prepare what it says on the diet. By midday you are famished, so you make do with something quick that you pick up while you are out; something a bit ‘naughty’ but you’ll make up for it later by eating less for dinner. You get home, still hurting, and you decide to have a little bit of something just to make yourself feel better. You accidently eat the whole packet. Never mind, you’ll work harder once it’s better. You won’t

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Health & Beauty eat anything for the rest of the day to make up for it. That afternoon your friend calls. She is upset, wants to come round for a chat. You agree. She arrives at 7pm with a bag of goodies and a bottle of wine. You are really hungry. You can’t let her drink and eat on her own ─ it would be impolite. You resolve to have one glass and a couple of nibbles but by 11pm when she leaves, you have finished your second bottle of wine and the nibbles are gone. Your friend feels better, but you feel exhausted, your aches are ouchy and you feel bloated and uncomfortable from the food you’ve eaten. Next morning you feel sluggish. You remember the night before and think there is no point continuing with the diet now, because you completely blew it last night. And so it goes on. If you recognise any of the above, you are not alone. Statistics show that while some diets may fulfill the promise of weight loss, this weight loss is incredibly short term. 12 million people in the UK alone go on a diet every year and for the overwhelming majority, the diet does not work. For those who manage to lose

weight, virtually all of them put it back on; statistics report that 98 per cent are unable to maintain the loss for more than two years. This is the only industry where when the product doesn't work, the consumers blame themselves. Can you imagine buying a torch, getting it home, finding it doesn't work and instead of taking it back to the shop and complaining you say 'what have I done wrong? This is exactly what we do, and worse than that, we decide that it is due to our lack of willpower that we have failed. If only we had tried a little harder, sacrificed a little more, really put our mind to it... NO, it is the product that has failed us! Diets promise us something that is unsustainable Clinical research carried out by Dr Bruce Lipton at Stanford Medical School found that if what you are doing in order to succeed in your life is based on willpower, the odds are a million to 1 odds against you succeeding!

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Continued on page 28

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Health & Beauty All traditional weight loss plans are based upon the same three-step process: 1. Decide on your weight loss goals and make a plan to achieve them. You will usually be given a plan by the inventor of the diet. 2. Use your willpower to stick to the plan. 3. Keep on doing it until you succeed. This is a blueprint for failure as it relies upon willpower for its success. Diets do not address the core issue behind why we are not the weight we desire to be. By focusing on weight loss, the fundamental issue which keeps us trapped is overlooked. Sustainable weight loss can only be achieved when we change our relationship with food. Weight loss is a by-product of achieving a relaxed, comfortable, peaceful and free relationship with food and your body. Ultimately, what we all want in life is freedom and peace of mind in all areas of our lives ─ not just those related to food. We want to eat without guilt, whether at home or when we are out socialising. We want to feel free from the struggle of following yet another 'weight loss routine' with its weighing, pointcounting, rationing and enforced minutes per day of exercise. We want to wake up without our immediate thought being that of food. Dieting doesn't work because diets teach us not to trust ourselves. They reinforce the false premise that being overweight equals being unhappy, and being thin equals being happy. They do not address the real reasons why women overeat, and they offer no viable solutions for having a balanced relationship with food.

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You need to get in touch with the emotional issues which drive you to comfort eat, and rewrite them. Welcome to the notion of liberation through dynamic hypnotherapy. Gently, quickly and without digging endlessly into events from your past, the advanced hypnotherapist can guide you to the original event that caused your subconscious mind to make a connection, with a positive intention but this unhelpful result, that somehow over-eating was a good thing for you. This can’t be done by you consciously puzzling over it because it’s not logical and most people are amazed at the connection when they discover it. And you can’t get it in group work or out of books, because every person is unique in this respect. Once the emotion is taken out of the original driver, your comfort eating will just naturally tail off without a struggle. You’ll quite likely find yourself beginning to look forward to a walk ─ and you won’t have to “make yourself feel happier” because life will be on the up for you. Give something different a try. The results may just astonish you! If you have any comments or questions about this article please contact me by email: sarah@ imesonjackson.com or on Facebook https://www. facebook.com/ImesonJacksonHyp or http://www. facebook.com/ImesonJackson and on Twitter at http://twitter.com/ImesonJackson

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Twenty teasers

from page 20

1 Dwight D. Eisenhower 2 China and Mongolia 3 New Tricks 4 Jack Whitehall 5 2004 6 Austria 7 1889 8 Belgium 9 Zimbabwe 10 Eminem 11 Icelandic Kr贸na 12 Tibia 13 Onions 14 Venus 15 1933 16 Kathryn Howard 17 Lurch 18 Big Break 19 Victor Hugo 20 Horse

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Classified Adverts Services Offered Electrician all areas covered. Call Tom for a quote on 606 694 536 Wanted — sensibly priced country properties, villas and village houses for sale. Contact us in confidence, no obligation. Email info@aapropertyforsalespain.com Tel no: 649520396. Window cleaning and general work. Phone Con on 674 895099 Gardening – all aspects undertaken. Free quotes. No job to small. Call 952 737643

Deposito Legal MA-1110-2004 Copyright © 2004 - 2014 All rights reserved All advertisements are published in good faith and are for information purposes. We do not under any circumstances accept responsibility for the accuracy of such advertisements, nor is any kind of warranty or endorsement expressed or implied by such publication. The editorials are not a substitute for legal advice, and not intended or offered as such. The Andalucían does not therefore accept any duty of care to anyone who makes use of, or seeks to rely on, material in this publication. No part of this or any previous Local Connections or The Andalucían publications may be used or reproduced without the prior written consent of the owner.

Vehicles for Sale Matador Aerovan trailer, perfect condition, full Spanish registration. 1995€ ono transfer included. Cargo 2000 kg Tara 1210 kg. Altura 2.216 mts Longitud 4.100 mts. Call 670598600 or 955142996 VW Passat, VGC 2001, 1.8 turbo 150CV petrol, 169000Km, ITV, air con, alloys & much more 3200€ Call 637 146561 (English) or 652 086480 (Spanish)

General handyman and pool cleaner. Reliable and experienced call 680 323649 We are asking for people out there who took out a mortgage in 2004 with Cajasur in Antequera to get in contact with us. We believe we have a case relating to the amount you could be paying on your mortgage. This may be too much because of a fixed rate policy, meaning that the percentage rate would not go lower than 4.59 per cent. We would be interested in forming a group to consolidate on this issue. Your personal details will be treated as strictly confidential, please email your contact details only to info@theandalucian.com we will forward them on to private advertiser who wishes to remain anonymous. Advertise from only €5 a month for more details email info@theandalucian.com

C1100s 500 galvanised GAPM trailer. All paperwork held. Used four times. Good condition. 1360mm x 1250mm Call 952 725231 or 600 937290. ONLY 250€ ONO

Property for Sale Struggling to sell or rent your home? Advertise it for only €5 a month or €20 for six months.

Events This year’s reunion of the Informal English Speaking Group of Loja will be held on Tuesday, July 1, 12noon to 2pm. Full details will be available nearer the day but put the date in your diary now, as we would hate you to miss meeting your old friends! If you know of other English speakers, new arrivals to the area or others, please spread the word. If there are others who would like to be included on the mailing list, please email your address to englishinloja@gmail.com. Keep checking in The Andalucian for more updates.

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TEBA 3 bed, 2 bath 19th century townhouse. Original features, 360m2. Fantastic pool & terrace. Certified Energy Rating C. PRICE REDUCED €299,950 Call 627 683380 for details Situated at foot of Teba Gorge, 4 bed main house plus selfcontained 2 bed apartment – ideal for letting/business. Large gardens and pool. Price 275,000€ phone 952749130 or email barbarasumner@ hotmail.co.uk

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