Fall 2015 by The Ankh

the

ANKH

Fall 2015

Wesleyanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Student of Color Publication

ANKH

Volume xxii Issue 1 Staff: Arnelle Williams Jordan White Arianna Fullard Eloise Seda Brian Sing Catherine Wulff Kazumi Fish Tedra James Taylor McClain Hailey Broughton-Jones Victoria King Elijah Jimenez Kafilah Muhammad Selena Gonzalez Xinyu Zhu Aleyda Castro

Contributors: Jonah Toussaint Emma Lucia Llano Hennings Andre “Dre” Pierce Giselle Lawrence Crystal Franklin Julier Escobar Rachel Godfrey Grace Wong Khalilah Lushiku Keith Mundangepfu Alicia Strong Luis Garcia Jennie He

Visual Artists: Haenah Kwon Malcom Phillips Khalilah Lushiku Jonah Toussaint Shirley Fang Monica Sun Jennie He

The Ankh

What is the Ankh?

The Ankh is Wesleyan’s student of color publication and online blog.

Who is the Ankh for?

The Ankh is for the Wesleyan community.

Is the Ankh exclusive?

We ask that all submissions fulfill the following criteria: that it be by, for and about people of color.

What can I do?

Read the Ankh, just like you are now, and contribute! Even if you aren’t on staff, even if you aren’t confident about your writing skills, even if you’ve never done anything like this before, there are many ways you can contribute. You can submit any type of writing: fiction, non-fiction, expository essays, news articles, or poetry. Art is always welcome, and videos can be published on our blog. The Ankh is your space. If you’ve created something and want to show it to others, do it here. Also, consider joining our staff! You can be a field reporter, topic writer, or help with layout or management of the online blog. And as always, discuss this with others!

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The Wesleyan Paradox Aleyda Castro

The “This Is Why” campaign began as a campaign intended to raise funds for the university. Primarily, President Roth’s focus was to raise money for financial aid. When discussing financial aid at Wesleyan a few factors must be kept in mind in order to be effective with the packages that are given to students. First, the way the financial aid package is set up is not enough to get a student through Wesleyan. For students that are coming from a low socio-economic status, work-study, books, and the student and parental contributions are economic burdens. I mention work-study because, even though it is part of the financial aid package, as any student who qualifies for work-study can tell you, finding a job on this campus is not a simple task. Many students also have to carry the burden of paying not just for the student contribution, but also for the parental contribution. Speaking on my experience, paying for the contributions is a lot easier for the fall semester because the money can be earned during the summer; however the same cannot be said for the spring semester since the winter break is a lot shorter. This leads students to work as many as three to four jobs during the school year. Books are another huge burden for some of the students on campus. I have actually considered not taking some classes in the past because there were too many books required, and I did not know if I would be able to afford them. Books are part of the financial aid package at other liberal arts schools in the Northeast, so why are they not a part of Wesleyan’s package? Second, Wesleyan is not need-blind anymore. President Roth defended that being need-aware actually brought in a more diverse class. Being needaware means that qualified students can be turned away simply because they cannot afford Wesleyan. For a school and a president that preach to be open-minded, liberal and diverse, this is quite the contradiction. President Roth stated, during his state of the school address, that this year brought in the most diverse class Wesleyan has ever seen. In his speech, it was not clear whether diversity meant one’s socio- economic, racial, or other kinds of social backgrounds. At first glance, Wesleyan may seem more racially diverse than other college campuses in the nation, however, is it equitable and inclusive? Do students that identify as first-gen, lowincome, queer, women or/and of color feel safe, included and are they given equal opportunities, resources and treatment on this campus? Though I fall under many of these categories, I am only one student and cannot speak for everyone that is a part of these communities, but based on my experience, the answer to this question is NO. We form groups

groups amongst ourselves to create community, but when we try to share our daily struggles we are dismissed and not given the emotional, mental, and academic support necessary to succeed. The institution and students accept us within our student groups but deny our humanity. A recent example is the events that followed the publication, in the Argus, of “Why Black Lives Matter Isn’t What You Think”, a poorly written, uninformed piece of trash. The outcome was the petition to boycott the Argus and conversations around bias, micro-aggression, racial climate on campus, and inclusion in the Argus and other institutionalized spaces on campus. Many media sources questioned the level of “sensibility” of Wesleyan students and provided a narrative that did not sum up the reasons why some students on campus decided to initiate a petition and boycott of the Argus. The problem is not the written piece itself; the problem is that an institutional organization like the Argus provided the platform for the publication and distribution of a racist op-ed. Since the administration promotes the Argus as the “official” campus newspaper it should represent the entire Wesleyan community. However, the Argus does not provide a platform where students of color or other marginalized groups on campus feel like they are safe to voice their opinions. Immediately after students of color voiced their concerns, and demanded an apology from the Argus, President Roth released a blog entitled “Black Lives Matter and So Does Free Speech”. The title by itself is very alarming. You cannot equate a person’s life to free speech. That does not mean freedom of speech is not important, but it cannot be equated to the lives of my black friends and peers. However, the biggest blow to the students involved was being demonized not only by our president but also by the Vice President of EQUITY AND INCLUSION. The students of color that were involved in meeting with the Argus were vilified. The suffering and pain of the black students on campus was not acknowledged. The story regarding inequity and racism within our institution was then shifted to an issue regarding freedom of speech. Many were against us, including media outlets, and no one was sympathetic. We were simply overly sensitive students of color attacking a white man’s “freedom of speech”. President Roth believes that we must be trained for the real world, so our university should not coddle us. News flash, this is the real world: UCLA student, tried to document blatant racism on her campus and was told, “You can’t do that” when she photographed white students wearing black face to a Kanye Western theme party. UCLA student, overhears a white student after the party was shut down state, “I can’t believe the police shut us down. They were supposed to be on our side”.

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UCLA students, told by administration that they must be patient until all the facts are gathered to take action. This is the real world. Yale students, told to “look away” if they find a Halloween Costume offensive because otherwise they are inhibiting on other student’s freedom of speech and expression. Yale students, turned away from a SAE “white girls only” fraternity party. Yale student, asked if she would apologize for taking away time from Mr. Christakis’, master at the college, day and work time because according to him he could have been serving other students. This is the real world. University of Missouri students, exercised their freedom to protest with the goal of removing a president that was not properly doing his job. University of Missouri students, received death threats and were harassed by white students who chanted “white supremacy”. University of Missouri students, told that they were overreacting and still had to show up to classes on Wednesday, November 11, 2015. This is the real world. These are not isolated events. It is happening on campuses across the nation: Amherst, Trinity, Claremont Mckenna, Boston University, University of Illinois, USC, etc. However, it is my hope that each and every one of you does your research and gains the knowledge necessary to challenge and hold our university accountable. White student’s “freedom of speech” is valued more than our education, lives and wellbeing. This is the real world! When we voice our concerns and exercise OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH, we are angry students of color. OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH is completely dismissed to serve the hate speech of white supremacy. The #Thisiswhy campaign’s intent was to help the Wesleyan community as a whole but instead it is propaganda used by a business, to sell diversity and appeal to prospective students. In order for this institution to equally serve everyone, President Roth needs to listen to the members of the marginalized communities at Wesleyan and act upon their demands. This is why we need a common read with books like the New Jim Crow, to initiate conversations surrounding racism with freshmen as they start their college career. This is why we need more counselors of color to be able to fully provide mental and emotional support to the students of color in our campus. This is why we need a resource center for marginalized students to have a space to call their own; a space where they can always find support. This is why it is necessary to have an Equity Advocate whose job it is to hold social justice workshops, not just for the students, but also for the faculty and staff. This is why it is necessary to have a first generation advisor/dean, to be a resource for the first generation students on campus. We do not need these roles to be added to another person’s already packed schedule; we need new positions. I recognize that our daily struggles are not acknowledged by the people who have the power to make institutional changes because this institution was not made in our image. It was founded and funded for and by white, heterosexual, wealthy men. However, in order for this institution to progress in our favor, it is necessary that we hold it to a higher standard and demand to be treated as more than just props for diversity. There was a time when our predecessors made demands and were relentless until they were met. What happened? This is my call to the students of color: We need to come together, love, and support each other to form a strong community bond, to build momentum and power, and to challenge the status quo of this institution, which continues to perpetuate inequity. For the people who consider themselves allies, this is the time for you to reevaluate what being an ally means, to reevaluate how you perpetuate and contribute to the system that disenfranchises us, to reevaluate whether you challenge spaces where you have privilege. What are you willing to risk and give up to make this campus an inclusive community in all facets. Are you really with us? Because this is the real world.

GIVE and TAKE by Kafilah Muhammad

As I sat down twisting my hair with coconut oil and listening to OSHUN’s “the next day”, soft rhythms and beautiful melodies reverberated through the pale pink walls of my room and I felt oddly at peace. A line from the song that I love is “watch your head, heart and soul”. As a black girl in today’s society, this summer I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery and self-education on my history, both untold and reclaimed, and in understanding who “I” am. I’ve realized that this journey is a continuous one of joy, sadness and other emotions that have an influential effect on one’s energy. All of my beautiful black and brown melaninated sisters possess hues that amaze the sun and energy as wondrous as the moon. As individuals who harness our energy it’s very important to take time out to establish a system of self-care. Time and time again we forget to take care of ourselves. Putting aside time to center oneself and to reach a level of appreciation for one’s thoughts and emotions is vital. When many of my sisters are fighting several continuous battles in a world full of misogyny and racism, they are constantly exerting energy to thrive in their daily lives. One thing that consistently drained a great portion of my energy during the summer was social media. It was a permanent reminder of the unspeakable violence that was repeatedly occurring to people like me because of the color of our skin, which is an immediate marker for socioeconomic, class, and culture difference. As a person of color I am actively aware of what’s happening in society, yet I’ve come to realize that it’s honestly necessary to take a break from the constant stresses of social media. It is healthy and much needed to take a pause in your life to not flood yourself with the overwhelming reality of the world. For instance, taking time to write, to listen to music or just participate in an activity you enjoy (I love reading new books) is not neglecting what’s happening in the world, it is an active stance towards making time to take care for oneself. As youth we are at the forefront of a movement that has been evolving for decades and it is vital to remember that while we give and exert energy, we must also take time to replenish it, harness it, and give ourselves rest. Support Circles are wonderful ways to maintaining this type of energy. You can join one of several that exist or create one within a small group of friends. Giving Energy is essential towards any goal or movement, but I hope my beautiful sisters around the world also remember to take a break. Stay Hydrated. Stay Free! Stay Woke!

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AsIAm Grace Wong

This is a story that is already not told, a story that is not beautiful nor fluid, and at times, even unspeakable. This is a declaration, documentation, and validation of my existence.

Name: Yuk Man Wong Birthdate: August 6, 1958 Birthplace: Hong Kong

Name: Unknown Birthdate: Jan 19th, 1928 in Lunar Years, Jan 11, 1928 in White people years. Birthplace: Unknown Name: Unknown Birthdate: November 13th, 1932 in Lunar Years, November 10, 1932 in White people years. Birthplace: Unknown

Name: Kit Sze Leung Birthdate: August 6, 1960 Birthplace: Hong Kong Name: Jackie Wong Birthdate: November 21st, 1994 Birthplace: Fresh Meadows, NY

My name is Grace Wong. I was born on January 14th, 1996 in New York City. I use they/them/theirs pronouns. I am first generation Chinese American and this is the story of my family that U.S History curriculums won’t tell. 1839 to 1949 A period of Western imperialism, colonization, and interference in China and Japan. Wars: not limited to, The Taiping Rebellion, the first and second Opium War, the Eight-Nation Alliance suppressing the Boxer uprising, the Sino-French War, The British invasion of Tibet…all resulting in our defeat, consuming the life, land and resources of China and its people. My grandfather, goong goong, born in 1928, was sold to another family at the age of 8. His family could no longer feed him due to poverty brought on by the wars. He was sold on two other occasions for the same reason later on in his childhood. My grandmother, pauw pauw, born in 1932, raised her 5 brothers and four sisters when her older relatives died in the war. We do not know which war. My dad, who passed away two years ago, moved to the United States, the date unknown, with my mom, with prestigious skills in finance that were not “applicable” nor “transferable” in America. My mom, when repeatedly asked to tell me about the history of our family, replies, “these are things that we do not talk about”. My brother, who struggles with carrying the heavy burden of making the most out of my parents’ sacrifices, chose a path of pharmaceutical studies, one that he is unsure he can complete due to financial restraints. Me, going to a school with a desire for activism Me, going to a school to learn about myself Me, going to a school that does not offer Asian American Studies, Me, going to a school where I sat across the table from President Roth as he declared that ethnic studies is dying…. I refuse to accept this obnoxious, foolish, ignorant, obtuse, disgusting, racist comment from this fat animal farm pig. To white people: You don’t know erasure until you have felt the displacement when realizing you do not know the name of your own grandparents. You don’t know tears until you come home from middle school every day crying from being bullied, too smart to throw a punch back, but not smart enough to escape the model minority myth. You don’t know oppression until you feel the dissemination of racism percolating down the scarred spine of your family tree, ripping every persevering root out of the ground. But this is something you should know nowWe will fight for Asian American Studies. We will fight for our histories. We will fight for our voices. We will fight ….and we will succeed.

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Bernie Sanders is not my Savior By Emma Lucia Llano Hennings

Like 90 percent of the Wesleyan campus, I am a supporter of Bernie Sanders. I strongly believe that he is the candidate that has the highest chance of actually changing the “system”. He’s consistent unlike other (Hillary Clinton) candidates who change their stances depending on where the money is and seems to be young voters’ candidate of choice. However, no matter how much we love Bernie, we must recognize that he is a person who can make mistakes and yes, he can have problematic opinions. I say this because the overwhelming support for Bernie has come with white liberal intolerance for any criticisms, even if they are constructive. Much of this backlash is racially coded and uses language essentially telling people of color that they should be “grateful” for Bernie. The concept that minority voters should be thankful that a candidate is essentially not as racist as the rest of them is audacious. Yes, Bernie Sanders has flaws and yes, we should be able to call him out on them. As an immigrant, I feel the need to address Bernie’s stance on immigration. While he can spend hours talking about income inequality and Wall Street, his comments on immigration are usually limited to one or two extremely vague sentences. Naturally, as a skeptic, I looked up Bernie’s voting record regarding immigration. The results were problematic to say the least. He wants a more efficient and inclusive pathway to citizenship for the millions of undocumented immigrants that live in the US. He supported the DREAM Act. These are all great things that benefit immigrants already living in the US, but what about immigrants who want to move into the US? We all know that a lot of the countries in Latin America are in political turmoil due to direct and indirect US involvement. That’s where things start to get messy. Sanders holds the outdated belief that having more immigrants increases unemployment among Americans. The classic “Immigrants are taking our jobs” move. Besides this example, there are many other instances in which Bernie does not seem to be up to par with leftist ideals. His loose stance on gun control leaves almost all power to state, as he believes that urban (otherwise known as nonwhite) areas should have stricter regulation. Whenever he talks about equal pay, he brings up the fact that women make seventy cents to every man’s dollar, when it is really white women to every white man’s dollar. Like most liberals, he disappoints the LGBTQ community by only really talking about gay marriage as an issue, and completely ignoring poverty, mental health, and hate crimes among the queer community. It took him three hijacked rallies to come up with a stance regarding the Black Lives Matter movement that didn’t involve him saying “I marched with MLK” (He’s still working on that one). Though none of this sounds like something a Bernie supporter would say, criticizing politicians is what democratic socialism is based on. As supporters of Sanders, we should be vocal about his flaws and we should hold him accountable. Bernie has done an excellent job at communicating with groups that call him out. Democratic socialism is all about bringing politicians down from the gold pedestal of superiority we keep them on, and making them more accessible so that the average person can voice their concerns. Just because you support a candidate does not mean you must agree with every belief that they hold. Above all, Bernie’s campaign has exposed the hypocrisy of white liberalism. Whenever I bring up a point about how Bernie, while an excellent candidate, is not perfect, I receive backlash from white supporters of his. “But he marched with MLK” (that was fifty years ago) “He’s better than Hillary” (who cares) “He’s on your side” (what does this even mean?). All of these are attempts to silence people of color who would like to be more vocal politically. These statements are extremely manipulative. I do not subscribe to the “No one will ever support you like Bernie does” ideology because I do not have to settle for a mediocre white politician who is now a hero because he doesn’t want to kick every Latino person out of the US. I will continue to hold Bernie accountable because I support him and I believe that bringing issues to his attention will only make him a better and more knowledgeable politician.

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Volume xxii Issue 1 We’re not an authority, we just wish to provide an accessible framework to aid in bridging and unifying our community by Brian Sing & Luis Garcia

Every space presents its own challenges that spark a form of sensitivity in some way, in response to the other. In every sense of the phrase “by (though obviously, not only because of) the very nature of our being at Wesleyan”, we are intersectional bodies, inhabiting different spaces in which we express our individuality by our experiences. That is to say, as blandly as possible, that the stereotyped institutionalized experiences of an individual do not always align with the lived experiences of those bodies. To ignore the intersections of our community, the interactions with different walks of life on this campus—especially through an essentialist mentality—can be understood as the same reductive rationale in segregation: disregard, of the intergroup differences that were to used to shape the traditional boundaries of race discrimination. Such vulgar constructionism distorts the possibilities for meaningful identity politics by conflating, among others, two separate, but closely linked manifestations of power: one being the power exercised simply through the process of categorization; the other being the power to cause that categorization to have social and material consequences. And in keeping with Kimberle Crenshaw’s understanding of identity politics and Intersectionality in her work Mapping the Margins, when one discourse fails to acknowledge the significance of the other, the power relations that each attempts to challenge are only strengthened. We repeat: this should not come to the effect of stacking multiple dimensions of oppression to measure the credibility of one’s voice. As important to note, this language of intersectionality is distinct from the closely related anti-essentialist perspective. These categories are not socially constructed in a linguistic economy of difference, but rather, are representations of the bodies impacted by the political repercussions, the real world implications of the social fabrications our bodies are so bound to. Thusly, it follows that intersectionality should denote the layers of our pliable personhood that works to unpack the broad categorizations that facilitate the white-othered binary, a dialectic that ignores the intersections of selfhood by defining them as clear-cut. Intersectionality—particularly as a language of agency— elucidates the complexity of the individuality of selfhood, intricacies of being. However, intersectionality is a limited understanding of the self, bound by the formative experiences of the past that trickle into the reality we understand as today. The futurity of space this past shadows under, in the guise of “growth,” is branded with the deterministic values of that identity, and fails to grasp at further dimensions unfolding in real time, namely (and most important given our time at Wesleyan) the clinamen web of interpersonal interactions that constitute the foundations of that future. When spelled out, one can easily come to terms with the understanding that when I am with you, I am a different person than when I am with someone else, and when the three of us are in a group, I am again, a different person. These distinctions of self should not be seen as a divergence of character, a goal-driven social facade, but instead as an outward display of different emotive states, expressed in distinctly codified tongues, us “transformed” by the energy of the other. These multi-faced responses to such outward stimuli constitute our sense of self, at least in the eyes of the other. However, as anyone stereotyped understands, such reductionist approaches are neither right, nor are they comprehensive. How can anyone other than yourself live your events, the feelings that you’ve felt. It’s your experience, obviously. We must understand the fragility of a constructed selfhood to be basic in the same way that we must understand the very real nature of the plasticity we present as our own selfhood, particularly given the nature of the space we are inhabiting. That is to say, the opinions we are forming and are learning to defend are neither static nor concrete, but transient, subject to reformation and reconstitution. In channeling this language of agency, we must recognize this transformative personhood in all of its multifaceted complexity. Inherent in this idea, particularly in context to groupthink, is the idea of the self as understood outside of the confines of our personhood. We have a collective responsibility to our peers in the same way we have such responsibility to our sons and daughters, to absolve them of the systematic othering brought about by the color of skin.

The Ankh This starts with a dialogue, as you’ve so often heard. In our familiar spaces, this is often actualized as an individual condemning another for being a conduit of oppressive social systems: call-out culture. This is not to guilt these impassioned individuals for their infuriation, as such an emotional reaction is justified. However, this tradition we have nurtured does not truly serve to support an unequivocal love for life, neither for the personal health of an individual articulating the flawed logic of a body chained and blinded by the supremacy, nor for the enlightenment of the listener taking in new-information from a foreign body, seemingly from other lands. Moreover, call-out culture can close the ears of the listener before the knowledge can be imparted and limit subsequent steps as simply reactionary. This is not enough. In actually attaining the change brought about by interpersonal interactions, we need the open ears and support only accessible in the absence of the guilt of call-out culture, and nobody is going to do it but us. We offer this idea of an alternative “call-in” culture not as an end-all paradigm shift bringing about resolution, but as a tool of dialogue that we are all capable of maintaining. Stressing the need for “call-in” culture, for both POC and allies, not only illustrates a comprehensive collective voice, but also addresses the fragility inherently produced through dialogue paradoxically saturated with the language of both privilege and oppression. In that regard, being an ally can also be understood through the lens of this transformative personhood. For an ally to navigate the murky waters of resistive polemic with this understanding requires a level of awareness—that engenders a continual unraveling of the self in relation to, and in service of, the subordinated other— which is not satisfied with a conclusiveness of psyche nor a fixity of an informative canon. In this awareness, the personhood of the ally is always in flux, redefining, reconstructing, understanding that in its aim towards a realization of ontological indivisibility over a perimetric process of exoneration, it cannot be satisfied with the vestige of a static decisiveness of its personhood. Transitively, the color of one’s skin is not an absolution of this critical examination of self, via such reasoning as self-claiming of these concepts as identifiers on the grounds of biological designation. As Loretta Ross clarified in the 1977 National Women’s Conference in Houston, the term “women of color”—coined by the black women participating in this conference— was initially intended to simply connote solidarity. To remove the power reclaimed in this identification of political designation by conflating it with a piecemeal understanding of biological destiny is, in the first place, to de-structure the solidarity formed as people of color on the grounds of primitive ethnic claiming AKA PLAYING INTO THE HANDS OF WHITE SUPREMACY FROM THE UPKEEP. Allyship, in its complexity of addressing the antinomy of deconstructive identification and reinvented singularity, demands the performance of a more centripetal rather than peripheral role in dismantling the cis-white heteropatriarchy. The comparatively focal approach performs a pivotal shift, a departing from the priorly concrete imperatives of allyship, to a framework of physiological necessity of human unity. Being an ally to the cause, supporting the movement, is a struggle, and very much so, the struggle is real. For all of us.

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BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENT: THE NEW CIVIL RIGHTS ERA Andre “Dre” Pierce

Andre “Dre” Pierce is an Ebony poet, social activist, and prison scholar. He is one of approximately three dozen prisoners enrolled in Center for Prison Education (CPE) program at Cheshire Correctional Institution. CPE is dedicated to creating an opportunity for Connecticut prisoners to receive a Wesleyan University liberal arts education. The BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENT (BLMM) has arrived on our doorsteps in a timely fashion. It confronts us at a time when our cell phones are allowing our society to be equally outraged at shocking images of the brutality of Black lives. While BLMM condemns all acts of violence, it does so particularly against Black lives, because we believe that it tends to stem from long systemic negative perceptions of Black people. The BLMM responds to racial injustice with great challenges. The difficulty is due to the very elusive shapes racism can and has taken. The racism of our day operates below the surface where it can cause effects without being easily proven. Thus BLMM is tasked with peeling back layers of facades, in order to expose the many subtle ways racism functions. While the BLMM proudly wears the banner “The New Civil Rights Movement,” it does not have the same advantages: Fighting easily identifiable forms of race discrimination. The racism we now fight has developed the property of water –it is shape-shifting and hard to grasp. It has necessarily evolved these malleable properties in order to survive in our modern society. Our societal standards of moral decency have evolved to a height where racial discrimination is widely held to be a social taboo and civil rights violation. As a result, racism has learned to express itself below surfaces and behind banners where it can violate without indictment. It feigns “Public Safety” in an attempt to appear to act in good faith, when in reality, it is legislating its biases into law. It has learned to smile while whispering the N-word in its heart. Modern elusive racism has learned to use codedlanguage to disguise its intentions to speak disdainfully of the poor and minorities. These are the cleverly disguised forms of racism BLMM confronts. BLMM confronts another kind of racism which is a byproduct of our modern society. I coin this new form “repressive racism.” To explain this form I would need to first explicate Sigmund Freud’s theory of the id (unconscious mind.) He postulated that our ids are hosts to thought-

patterns and an emotional life which has subtle influences on our behaviors and speech. The id isIt is a repository for repressed memories, desires, and thoughts. Thus, those shameful and painful memories, thoughts, and emotions that we try to forget, tend to get repressed to our ids where they then subtly effect our actions, speech, and conscious thoughts. Repressive racism happens when ethical standards conflict with conscious undesirable thoughts and feelings, which creates tension that find relief by repressing such undesirables to the id. These repressed thoughts and feelings remain active on an unconscious level where they have subtle influences on behavior and speech that are otherwise innocuous and wellmeaning. Some of its manifestations are selective amnesia: It afflicts the job employer who develops selective amnesia thus forgetting to call back job applicants with ethnic-sounding names or applicants who speak with an accent over the phone.s over the phone with an accent. Another one of its symptoms is self-induced momentary blindness: this afflicts police officers who manage to not see a white driver who speeds by them but then regain sight in time to catch a Black driver speeding. These subtle and, in many cases, unintended forms of racism, while difficult to prove, have a material and emotional effect on the lives of who they victimize. The BLMM is committed to raising our national consciousness about these insidious forms of racism. BLMM must necessarily remain flexible in order to remain effectively responsive to the various forms that racism might take to avoid detection. We currently present a response to the racist subtleties that social experts prove the existence of and have coined new terms to identify them, such as: Structural Discrimination – acts (laws, policies, etc.) that are discriminatory in result but not in intent; Institutional Racism – institutions that are organized around a set of principles and policies that are discriminatory regardless of intent; Statistical Discrimination – information gathered (names, zip codes, etc.) that would indicate race, ethnicity, or socio-economic status, for discriminatory purposes; Repressive Racism – unconscious acts of racism stemming from repressed and unresolved racial biases; Elusive Racism – racism that adapts to its time and place where it then takes cues as to how it will be expressed.

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One of the ways BLMM responds to these subtle and various forms of racism is by urging us all to become familiar with these terms so that they become part of our consciousness. We believe that once certain concepts become part of our cognitive functions, we become empowered to respond to the complex and systems of behaviors in which the concepts define. We believe that our society is perpetually evolving in ethical and moral standards thus allowing us to seek to rid our society of any acts of injustice that we are made aware. BLMM calls for (1) asphalt protest to bring light to certain social injustices thus galvanizing concerned citizens to action, (2) it encourages self-reflection and constant examination of our attitudes towards races so in order to cure, vaccinate, and immunize ourselves against pernicious racial attitudes, (3) and expert social analysis on current social injustices in order to document these instances, thus giving validation to those who make claims of discrimination in which otherwise they could not prove. (4) Also, we call for revolutionized social theories regarding the many ways minorities internalize racism. Lastly, we call for the affirmation of the value of Black lives. BLMM affirms but not negates. Some believe that by affirming Black lives, we are somehow engaged in hate speech. They seem to think that BLMM seeks affirmation by negation. I do not fault those who believe this way. After all, whiteness has been historically defined by negation. As such, one was white because they were not Black. BLMM is a demand for inclusion. We simply ask that you all repeat and come to believe, that “BLACK LIVES MATTER, ALSO,” to quote rap activist Talib Kweli. BLMM demands that the margins of democracy continually expand to include Black people, rather than the historical tendency to contract and exclude them. There are those who have tried to denounce BLMM as a hate group by connecting it with extremists. Some have even been reported cheering at the news of the death of a police officer at a BLMM rally. We have settled the question long ago that extremists who attempt to associate themselves with moderate groups do not, in fact, represent those groups. This question was exhaustively explored and settled after the attacks on 9/ll. After terrorists, who claimed to be Muslims, flew planes into the Twin Towers, killing thousands, many of us tried to associate them with orthodox Islam. Many of us were able to settle this question by asking ourselves whether the Muslims we knew were anything thing like those terrorists. An overwhelming majority of us were able to earnestly say that our Muslim friends and family members were very patriotic people, who were no less American than we were. I encourage us all to pose similar questions to ourselves when trying to decide whether a few hate-mongers represent BLMM. While BLMM demands adequate political representation, social justice, and economic equality, and end to police brutality, we earnestly demand a change in attitudes so that any social changes can become foundational. We believe this can be done by us all earnestly affirming the value of Black lives, which would in turn move us all in the direction of economic equality and social justice. In this regard, BLMM effectiveness will depend on how committed we all are to living in a truly fair and democratic society. We welcome all to join us in this march towards justice. We do not require membership fee or registration only that you affirm that BLACK LIVES MATTER.

Please allow me to interrupt your interruption: Anonymous

I am not taking away or distracting from the matter at hand, because guess what? More than one thing can be important. We must talk about problems we face in the world, in America, at home, and at school. I have gotten emails and Facebook invites at 4 am, thank you. Thank you to the people losing sleep for a good cause. I support and stand with all the schools and all the people fighting against the racism and oppression we live in today. However, I cannot fully stand with my school’s community in their protests, because that would require me to stand with too many hypocrites. I’m here on this campus and there’s something wrong, so let’s also talk about that. How can you help others if you can’t help yourself? How can you help another place if you can’t help this place, your own place? Explain to me how you can think of helping someone else’s house when there is no foundation for the house you are trying to build for yourself. Some, maybe many of you, genuinely believe you have the answers to these questions, and I pray that you do because I do not. There are people who show up to meetings, trying to lead and be active, who are not people I want to be around or be in communication with. I walked into a planning meeting and I felt overwhelmed, I felt my anxiety rising, my heart pounding, my panic. How can you help a good cause when you are not a good person? There are people who are hurting others. People are trying to call out those people or their supporters or anyone possibly associated, and some people are just blindly calling out everyone. But what about the literal problems we are facing, the problems almost no one is addressing or trying to solve. The lack of trust, the lack of appreciation, the lack of consideration for each other. We are living in these problems with the people who perpetuate them; everyday we must face them both. People listen to those who come back from the outside world and hear their logic, but cannot take the time to hear the same logic from their own neighbors—the very people living in the struggle with them. I’m asking for students of color to recognize each other’s presence, think about what that person is dealing with and even how your presence is affecting them. Try respecting each other I’m calling for the people in this student of color community to respect each other. As a good friend told me, people need to stay woke, it is a constant process, there is no end, you must continue to advance your mind. I hate being used as a number and not being respected as an individual, a person. We cannot have a community without individuals. We are all people going through our own battles, trying to make it, and we are not acknowledging the reality of that. Men respect women; women respect men; new respect old; old respect new; able-bodied respect less able bodied; straight sexuality respect fluid sexuality; fluid sexuality respect straight sexuality. You cannot have a community without individuals. I can’t list everything, people respect people; value each other; value our lives.

Volume xxii Issue 1

The Ankh

ON SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND COMMUNITY We are writing this article collectively as The Ankh staff to address a sexual assault issue that was brought to light within our ranks, and to bring attention to the systemic silencing and vilification of sexual violence survivors. When the article accusing a student of color graduate of sexual assault was released, feelings of betrayal, disgust, and shock coursed through many individuals, including many of the Ankh staff, who have worked closely with the accused. Renowned in the student of color community and Wesleyan’s community at large for their activist work, this alumni’s breach of trust was debilitating for the survivor and many in the SOC community. Particularly since this publication strives to be a platform for Wesleyan’s people of color and for those who have been historically silenced and debased, it hit home for us as a student group on campus. Then, in November 2015, frequent contributor Khalilah Lushiku submitted a beautiful and powerful article to be published in our fall semester issue. As a publication, we looked forward to providing Khaliliah the space for her important narrative. Ultimately the piece was pulled to shield the publication, individual members of the Ankh staff, and Khalilah from a lawsuit threat presented a few days before printing. We made the decision to postpone the publication entirely because we felt it would be an injustice to pull Khalilah’s piece without at least replacing it with one that explains our position in this matter and exposes some of the challenges that come with exposing sexual assault. We struggled with giving in to legal pressures and cutting a piece, thus denying Khalilah Lushiku from using the platform which was made for her voice. We wish to be transparent, bring attention to the complexity of this situation, and address the structural injustice survivors face. We want to acknowledge the continued censorship of Black women. We want to express the disappointment that many of our members feel that we, in this instance, did not fulfil our mission to provide space for students of color in an institution and world that so often does not provide a platform for our voices. It felt to many as if we were letting rape culture win by silencing survivors to protect perpetrators. In the weeks that followed, we discussed what it means to truly support survivors as a publication and how we can still place survivors’ voices in the center of the conversation. We discussed how each situation is particular and acknowledged how there is no one way to monolithically “support survivors.”

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Sexual assault is a very contentious and divisive issue on college campuses and seems to be even more so here in this past semester. It is one that has challenged friendships and struck the sense of unity among various members of the students of color community. In a series of speak-outs on campus and on social media platforms, brave individuals have publicly revealed that our community is not seamless. Trust within the student of color community has been broken, and members of our community have been violated and forced into silence. Sexual assault within the student of color community adds another layer of silencing, and is yet another example of the debilitating intersectionality of oppressive systems. In open forums, the term “survivors” is often spoken of as a distant group, a defined group of individuals held at arm’s length to prevent self-reflection. Sometimes people assume that survivors are not in a room, and often survivors are vilified, to deflect the responsibility of perpetrators. Many conversations about it have come with finger pointing, labeling, and distraction from the heart of the issue: how to heal the hurt and prevent it. Rape culture is built into the foundation of our society. Our society at large and within the microcosm of Wesleyan University is constructed to discredit and silence survivors. Since sexual assault often affects more people than the ones involved in the crime, the conversation can easily shift to focus on “our community” as a whole, instead of figuring out what the survivor and perpetrator need in order to be better, and then making sure it is delivered to them. We each have the individual agency to prevent sexual assault. We must speak and listen to each other with open hearts in order to begin to understand each other’s experiences. We must teach each other the differences between sex and assault.

The Ankh

When a survivor speaks, we must listen. We must refuse to turn a blind eye when the identity of a perpetrator makes the matter “too complicated” to address. We must acknowledge that support is centered around the needs of an individual, and that listening before speaking is crucial in supporting survivors. As a publication striving to give students of color space to express themselves outside of the totalizing narratives often forced upon them, we refuse to ignore the rifts that inevitably exist within the community. As a publication, we recognize that we have the ability to marginalize voices, regardless of intention. However, we cannot allow ourselves to believe that we have the right to do so. We must constantly selfreflect on whose voices and experiences are being silenced. Our mission as the Ankh is to support all students of color. We stand in solidarity with survivors and seek to actively fight rape culture both in and outside of Wesleyan. We understand the power and responsibility we hold as a community publication and are committed to constant growth and improvement. Concrete “next steps” for the Ankh that we have discussed as a publication: Creating space for the spectrum of survivors to feel invited to communicate and dialogue both with and within the the Ankh publication Reach out to survivor networks Publish a Survivor Zine Facilitation of a discussion of “buzz words” Requiring Ankh staff to take Bystander Intervention Training Develop a policy on how to address sexual violence issues that occur within our own staff Commitment to discussions and resolutions when an issue arises We offer this self understanding as a representation of our community, to the entirety of our community. We are dedicated to making our space inclusive and accessible to everybody we serve. As a group and publication, we will continue to develop ourselves to make that possible. In love and solidarity, The Ankh Staff

Volume xxii Issue 1

The Ankh

Volume xxii Issue 1

The Ankh

19,999 Arnelle Williams

Scars on the darkest side of my melanin worsen, Each deformed coloring mocks, reminds me that I don’t get to breathe 20,000 liters of untouched air each day I don’t get to inhale, deeply, air that is free and unarmed Air not yet tainted, not yet trained to destroy the nucleus of my army cells, to suffocate, narrow the pathways to my birth lungs Not yet ready to be merciless, a pollutant like the others My scars sit quietly with a devilish smile looking at the green-dollar clock tick 19,999 Smog rose again this morning in Lead town, Asbestos moved on the walls of jazz, swaying around each corner in love with itself Respiratory coughs rapped to hip-hop and sneezes sung hymns My ears tried to tune out the dying harmony, the torrent, but the funk spelled out my reality I can’t race past my race, stream line the streamlines, overlook the inner-city poor, neglected dumpster I was in or escape the pest inside, the herb inside changing neurons to peculiarity I react in infertile ways I could see the multitude of feet hurdled on the corner of DDT street. Edges of shoes already peeling off from the toxicity The closest food store red-zoning did buy, smells from its delicious toxic doughnut and runoff water, already illuminating inside stomachs as if digestion too lost strength Unable to avoid cancer alley, I contemplate whether my last liter[a][b] or my last paycheck would change my ecological footprint, Make me matter when I am a size 8, inferior to those who are size 22 and Insulated by corporate-suburbia void of landfills, incinerators, Free to excrete the bodily that kills the poor bodily, shorten the span of young for extra wiggle room Compact and extinct healthy racial difference in Sick Building Syndromes Industrial plant and the policy donors who designed you, do you not care? to clean up after yourselves? Who promoted you Master of making all heartbeats persons of color, poverty-stricken fail, fail, fail? The spraying, the burning, the wasting. Breathing is a privilege, not acknowledged like its white counterpart Dear God who created this Earth, We want fruition in your fertile land, not the Lucifer weeds that kill, discriminate, and neglect Acid now secrete from my eyes my heart bleeds justice as I withdraw from my last liter 20,000 [a]Liter or litter? [b]liter !

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The Ankh

Demon Disorder Jennie He i want to say that it’s not a fixture in my life, that it hasn’t been a devoted confidant and lover that i haven’t been unflinchingly loyal inseparable, my guardian slipping me into nothingness i want to tell you that i haven’t starved myself intentionally that i haven’t thought to myself that my body as an adolescent was overweight that i haven’t wished to slice, melt, sizzle pieces of myself that were unworthy not unworthy to exist, just unworthy to be on this unworthy body nothing on this body could be worthy there is this hunger dwelling within my belly, churning, pulsing, slowly but methodically not out of starvation but out of desperation desperation to inhale the rhetoric less is more less weight, more value less space, more worthy so many moments, i have stirred in my bed, swatting away my dream crusts from my eyes stagger out of sleep placed one foot, two on the ground found the floor boards with the rest of my body i could not hold myself up my legs fainting at the idea of standing i have spent more time examining my body through the window of a mirror pretending, or believing, that it is the undeniable objective truth i have spent more time examining my body through the window of a mirror than telling people, i love them i have spent more time examining my body through the window of a mirror than eating without hating myself for doing so i have spent more time examining my body through the window of a mirror than loving myself wholly and unconditionally consumed with never consuming anything wrapped up, wracked with an anxiety of numbers how much did i eat today what fraction of the food i was given did i eat guilt would match the height of my numbers smugness would pool in the empty space of my stomach

when a skinny white girl has an eating disorder, she is sent to the hospital when a skinny asian girl has an eating disorder, she is told, you just have a good metabolism your people are naturally small why would you want to be bigger you’re so skinny skinny is beautiful, you are beautiful if you are skinny words ricocheting so tenderly, i mistake them for compliments i want to tell you the axe chipping away at myself has ceased and it has and in those moments i can eat without punishing myself but i have sat in this fire burning for the deletion of myself for too long, unable to register the smoke as toxic unable to sense this charred scarred body liberation will never be true for a demon that dwells inside of me a disorder that is me dear reader, i want to tell you that you are not alone if you remember nothing else, you should know that you are not alone. i’m all for decolonizing that pussy but if all we are unlearning is race, gender, and socio-economic status are we really decolonizing anything if we keep thinness, ability, and other white standards of beauty and value we fight together against the white hegemony uncentering the centered denormalizing the normal but blind our own contradiction of thin as the normal never raising our fists, holding rallies, pouring one out for all of the warriors that we have lost to this worship of thinness

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The Ankh

Maude Keith Mundangepfupfu *Mbyua- Great grandmother Mbuya Knew Zimbabwe before it was Rhodesia Knew Her before She became theirs Knew our totem, ancestral chant, songs and dances before they became forbidden Knew our tribe before it became separated Mundangepfupfu and Maunze Two tribes born from one Separated by war Mbuya 113 years old when she died Tilled her piece of land every single day Till the day she did not make it to tomorrow She Never used a knobkerrie Never hunched over Never lost her sight Mbuya, A woman I never met Died, February 13, 1995 The day I was born But I imagine How she would react to How I call my father “dad” instead of “Baba” How I speak fluently in English and stutter in Shona How my favourite pastime is watching Penguins of Madagascar and not playing outside How my best friend John from down the street, has blonde hair and green eyes How I was born into freedom and she lived in strife But would she be able to accept bygones to be bygones A woman who ruled with an iron fist I fear not.

Volume xxii Issue 1

affirmation Rachel Godfrey to be told you are beautiful after a lifetime of hearing otherwise is cold raindrops on hot skin having your mother massage your scalp when your braids are too tight it is gentle feel it it is stretching your legs after being stuck in the car for 5 hours it is a mental return to something happy, once forgotten or perhaps the finding of something new like when my brother bought me my first diary for my 13th birthday the same one I used to express my confusion two years later after he looked at me and said “I’ve never seen a pretty black girl.” and I can still feel the blood in my cheeks and sweat at my nape and I can feel the burn in my throat as I leaned over the toilet in tenth grade put my fingers down my throat scolding myself I remember looking at myself in the mirror after eyes bloodshot splashing cold water in my face walking out of the bathroom seeing my best friend and saying “you look beautiful today” I can see the look in my father’s eyes as he looks me up and down and says “if you don’t learn to be quiet, your future husband will know how to shut you up.” I write this being 18 being just as confused as the girl writing at 13. and as i write now, i do not write of others speaking to me, of statements with the intent of calming a friend’s insecurity storm, or of whispers in the night to be told, by yourself, that you are beautiful after a lifetime of hearing otherwise is a revolutionary storm unleashing something, a blinding light, a fearless creature that cannot that will not be held back.

The Ankh

Beautiful Revolution Jonah Toussaint

Protest that brings no protest is no protest. That’s air without the oxygen Breath without inhale Plucking the marionette To hear what sound it makes Greasing the joints Oiling its function We are the newspaper headlines Operas in the idiot box With collars on our necks Ripe for the noose Walking the shadow of death We moonwalk And thread the needle Through the eye of the storm Tying our tongues Sewing constitution Feet swaying in the wind No beautiful revolution

Volume xxii Issue 1 El movimiento es la vida. Julier Escobar Solis Estamos en universidades, donde el hombre blanco primero se educó, aprendiendo quien y que es lo que nos asfixia. Pensando en casa, en el sacrificio que se ha hecho y se hace para estar aquí El movimiento es la única opción, se dio el dia que mi madre me engendró, el día que cruzó la frontera, el día que me fui de casa para estudiar y no continuar siendo sofocada por la pobreza que nos hunde en la derrota. Ni la luz de las estrellas brilla fuera de casa, la casa que se sostiene con llanto y trabajo con manos que no han crecido y manos que sufren cada día bajo el sol.

The Ankh

Exceptions Alicia Strong Actually, all lives matter! …But I don’t see why selective mourning is a problem? Why do I have to mourn deaths in the Middle East and Africa? People die all the time there; it really isn’t a big deal.

No way, I’m a Pro-Lifer! …But after the baby is born, their quality of life is not my problem. I’m not giving handouts to lazy mothers! I’m just here to make sure they have life…I didn’t say it had to be a GOOD life!

Stop attacking my religious freedom! …But its different with Muslims, their religion is dangerous! I know more white men have committed violent acts in the U.S. than Islamic extremists but…those were lone wolves!

It’s called freedom of speech!

Las estrellas ya no son de nosotros, se paga para verlas y nombrarlas.

…But only my freedom to say whatever racist, sexist, or homophobic thing I want. They don’t get the freedom to speak up against the things I say!

Los sueños se quedan en nuestros desvelos. Es difícil imaginar, se pierde el tiempo se va acabando la vida.

The safety of Americans!

La vida la vivo por ti, mujer por que me la diste a mi, mami Estoy aqui aprendiendo del que nos ahoga sosteniendo tu nombre en mis manos sin dejarlo caer su pronunciación me lleva al sol, de donde soy. Un abrazo te quiero dar, y nunca dejarte sola.

…But that’s only when the threat is foreign! Domestically, my 2nd amendment right is more important.

Take off that headscarf, you’re in America! …But if you get sexually assaulted and you’re showing too much skin, then you were kind of asking for it. One Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for straight, white, cisgendered, Christian men. GOD BLESS AMERICA.

Volume xxii Issue 1 “Black Woman’s Back” a slam poem Giselle Lawrence

Black woman’s back? Can you be less rocky Like balboa? Less hard on thyself and these hands? Black woman, can your back be less shoulders? Mountainous and filled with heavy terrain, Bellowing and flowing like waves? more fluid like water falling off your smooth brown skin. I ask you… What happens to a black woman’s back Whose hands have rubbed away at the aches and pains Of trying to uphold society’s box of femininity? But between bones and flesh you find a black woman’s vulnerability. In the middle, the spine unwinds like a spiral staircase supporting all breath, all life. Formulaic and cylindrical. Abyss-like Carving itself a seat at the table This is where the breath sits, Heavy and deep, back of the back Expressing itself. Back be Black be Black woman’s back be less harsh, Hands massaging upwards and onwards. Flowing Like water droplets Sliding off the ridges and scars on your skin. Black woman’s back, you breathe lighter here Sitting in the diaphragm nice and easy Black nerve Black curve Wonderful ain’t it? Unappreciated, Un-treasured, This is not a black woman’s back poem This is a black woman’s back-messaging poem. This is black woman This is black woman back to back sister, lover, folks do you hear me? Black woman, Back release Back ease This tension Sprouting joy and love Situated in stillness, I feel you. So, I ask you… What happens to a black woman’s back Whose hands have rubbed away at the aches and pains Of trying to uphold society’s box of femininity?

The Ankh

Volume xxii Issue 1

The Ankh

Student of Color Event Highlights for Fall 2015 QTPOC Party September 11th-AAA House SOC BBQ September 20th- Malcolm X House Black Arts Collective: First Showcase October 2nd Middle Eastern Formal October 16th- Middle Eastern Perspectives Dope Screening October 16th- The Ankh Rosa Clemente: If I Was President Tour October 22nd- Dominican Students Association Latinx Affirmation Month Convocation November 1st- Ajua Campos Breast Cancer Awareness Dinner November 4th- Invisible Men and Ujamaa Asian American Arts Festival November 6th- AASC Linda Sarsour: Reclaiming Arab Identities and Intersectionality in Activism November 12th- Middle Eastern Perspectives Ariya - Faces of Africa November 13th - African Student Association Samsara - South Asian Cultural Show November 14th- Shakti Expresiones - Latinx Cultural Showcase November 21st â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Ajua Campos Korean Culture Show December 4th- Korean Students Association

Volume xxii Issue 1

SUBMIT TO THE ANKH WESLEYANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S STUDENT OF COLOR PUBLICATION

SUBMISSION DEADLINE: MARCH 28 THEANKH@WESLEYAN.EDU

The Ankh