The Argosy, September 28, Vol. 147, Iss. 3

NEWS Rags of Time changes hands (Pg. 2) Hot n’ Bothered since 1872

ARTS & CULTURE Mt. A alum makes it big on broadway (Pg. 11)

OPINIONS Anthropology department at risk (Pg. 15)

HUMOUR Insect assault Homecoming (Pg. 16 )

Mount Allison’s Independent Student Newspaper

at

COVER: SAVANNAH HARRIS, BACK IN THE SACK, LINOCUT, 2017

September 28, 2017 Vol. 147, Iss. 3

02 NEWS

EDITORS: EMMA BUSH & MAIA HERRIOT | SEPTEMBER 28. 2017 | ARGOSY@MTA.CA

COMMUNITY

Rags of Time finds new owners THURSDAY, SEPT. 28 Voice Masters Class Brunton, 10:30-12:30 p.m.

Dr, Lisa Hughes Lecture AVDX 111, 4:30-6:30 p.m.

Recipe for a better food system Chapel, 7:00-9:00 p.m.

Mansbridge Farewell Celebration Convocation Hall, 7:30-9:30 p.m.

FRIDAY, SEPT. 29 Brass Master Class Brunton, 2:30-4:30 p.m.

Mi’kmaq Flag Raising Flagpole, 8:30-9:30 p.m.

Mansbridge Summit Motyer-Fancy Theatre 10:00 a.m. - 8:00 p.m.

Colin is my real name President’s Cottage, 7:00-9:00 p.m.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 30 Lindsay Beaver and the 24th Street Wailers (tickets available at Ducky’s) George’s Roadhouse, 9:00 p.m.

NAOKO ANDO IS PREPARING TO LEAVE BEHIND RAGS OF TIME AFTER FIFTEEN YEARS. SHE PLANS TO STAY IN SACKVILLE. ADRIAN KIVA/ARGOSY

LILY FALK News Reporter When Naoko Ando, owner of the local used bookstore Rags of Time, announced on Facebook that she was looking for a new owner, she didn’t expect to receive a huge response.

“I was quite surprised. The post was shared 220 times,” Ando said. The post exceeded 36,000 views and quickly found a new owner.

Rags of Time was opened 15 years ago

by Ando and her late husband Lauchlin MacDonell. “It wasn’t about starting up a business, it was always about books,” Ando said. “He was a book lover, a bookworm. He was always reading and collecting books since he was a kid.”

Ando has had an adventurous life.

After growing up in Japan, Ando moved across Canada from British Columbia to the Maritimes, studying

ceramics in Newfoundland and then Halifax, where she met her husband.

They decided to make Sackville their home and founded Rags of Time.

Since then, the bookstore has become a staple for locals and visitors alike.

Since the death of her husband, it became more difficult for Ando to keep the store open. “Within a year of opening the shop, he became ill and he went on for eight years with all kinds of rare conditions.

It became very difficult to deal with it. Even just running a dayto-day business was not easy,” Ando said. “We just did whatever we could do to survive, and did the best to keep the doors open to customers, but it was not easy.”

After the five-year anniversary of her husband’s passing, Ando decided it was time for a change. “This year was the 15-year anniversary of the

“IT WASN’T

ABOUT STARTING UP A BUSINESS,

SUNDAY, OCT. 1 Vespers Chapel, 6:00-7:00 p.m..

MONDAY, OCT. 2 Career Week - Resume Seminar Crabtree M13, 11:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m.

Career Week - Networking LinkedIn Sir James Dunn 106, 2:30-4:00 p.m.

IT WAS ALWAYS

ABOUT BOOKS.”

store, so ten years we had the business together, and then for five years I tried on my own.” On July 8, Ando announced the sale of the store via Facebook, and within a few weeks the shop had a new owner.

Miriam Lapp of Tantramar Tarotscopes, most often seen at the Sackville Farmers’ Market, and her partner Stephen Byrne knew right away that buying the store was the right move.

“I saw [the Facebook post] and something clicked in my head and in my gut, and I ran downstairs and I said ‘Steve, Rags of Time is for sale,’ and he was like ‘Oh wow, let’s do it!’ ” said Lapp. “We had both recently graduated from university and we were looking for what was next.”

Rags of Time, now called Blind Forest Books and Novelties, is set to reopen on Oct. 10. The new name signifies the “journey of life, where

you go in not really sure what you’re searching for, taking new paths, learning new things and coming to see from new perspectives,” Lapp said. Both Lapp and Byrne are excited to open a self-described “mom and pop bookshop” while maintaining Ando’s reputation for “total knowledgeability” and expanding the bookstore to include Lapp’s tarot business. The couple also wants to host more in-store events with local authors and stage dramatic readings.

Lapp grew up in Sackville and has been a lifelong customer at Rags of Time. Her interest-turned-career in astrology began after reading a book that she picked up at the store a few years ago. “First and foremost, we want to maintain Naoko’s stellar reputation as a quality book store in town.” Byrne said.

“I SAW [THE

FACEBOOK POST]

AND SOMETHING CLICKED IN MY

HEAD AND IN MY GUT”

Intro to GPS Sir James Dunn 104, 4:00-5:00 p.m.

Riotous Film Society R.P. Bell Library Theatre 7:30-10:00 p.m.

TUESDAY, OCT. 3 Career Week - Resume Workshop AVDX 117, Crabtree Room M13 11:00-12:00 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 4 Collegium Musicum Brunton Auditorium, 4:00-5:00 p.m.

THE BYRNE-LAPP FAMILY LOOK FORWARD TO THEIR NEW ENDEAVOUR AS PREVIOUS OWNER, NAOKO ANDO, LOOKS BACK. BOTTOM LEFT: LIANG CHAOYI/ARGOSY. BOTTOM RIGHT: ADRIAN KIVA/ARGOSY

NEWS

THE ARGOSY | WWW.SINCE1872.CA

03

ACADEMIC SUPPORT SERVICES

STUDENT RESEARCH

Mt. A to support first generation students

SURF celebrates student projects

New programming of weekly workshops available for first-generation and low-income students

EMMA BUSH News Editor

FIRST-GENERATION GRADUATION. SARAH NOONAN/ARGOSY

AMELIA MACDOUGALL FLEMING News Reporter Academic support services is offering a new program called Mount Allison Support for First Generation Students. The program, aimed at low-income and first-generation university students, will involve a series of weekly workshops held every Wednesday from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. These events will address topics related to finances and general wellbeing.

The program aims to help alleviate some of the stresses that university can present for first-generation and low-income students throughout their time at Mt. A. “There are small, more nuanced, subtle and almost invisible differences that students face as challenges coming from low-income and first generation families,” said Shelly Colette, former firstgeneration student and co-creator of the program. “There’s a sense that perhaps they’re the only ones that struggle and I hope that we can take away that sense of exclusion.”

Former first-generation student and Prof. Lisa Dawn Hamilton presented on the topic of time management at the first workshop of the year, which was held on

Wednesday, Sept. 20. Over a free lunch, the students received tips on managing distractions, increasing productivity, prioritizing schoolwork and developing healthy study habits.

Students were given calendars to organize their schedules for the upcoming semester.

Hamilton spoke to the importance of the program, saying, “As a former first-generation student myself, I think that I would have benefitted greatly from having both practical

“I DIDN’T HAVE SOMEONE IN MY CORNER WHO I COULD GO TO ABOUT APPLYING FOR UNIVERSITY” and academic support to help navigate how university works.”

Jill MacIntyre, a fourth-year International Relations honours student from PEI, is the firstgeneration student support intern and co-creator of the program.

MacIntyre said that her personal experience as a low-income and firstgeneration student motivated her to get involved with the program.

“I didn’t have someone in my corner who I could go to about applying for university, or editing my

scholarship applications, or asking about picking classes, or just any basic knowledge about university — I was just kind of thrown into it,” MacIntyre said. “It was a really isolating and at times really frustrating environment, especially in my first couple of years when I didn’t really know how to navigate the university. I just really wanted to create that support for other students.”

While the program already has a number of workshops planned, the series is open to focusing on needs expressed by students. “My hope is that these students come to the workshops and they tell us what they need, and then we can figure out how we can help them,” said Colette.

This could include the addition of programs such as support groups.

In the upcoming months, students are encouraged to participate in workshops regarding budgeting, accessing financial aid, positive mental health, time management, understanding assignment guidelines and finding part-time employment in Sackville. The next workshop will readdress the topic of time management in the Chapel basement from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on Wednesday, Oct. 4. Like the Facebook page “Mt. A Support for First Generation Students” to stay up to date on upcoming events and workshops.

This past Friday, Sept. 22, Mount Allison undergraduate students presented their summer research projects at the annual Summer Undergraduate Research Fair (SURF).

The fair consisted of both poster and three-minute thesis presentations, with the overarching theme of the day consisting of explanations of both the concepts and relevance of projects. Student research topics ranged from Lyme disease and black-legged ticks to philosophical concepts to DDT to University sexual assault policies.

“It is very much a student-led, student-organized event in keeping with the spirit of how it was initially started,” said David Bruce, Director

of the Office of Research Services at Mt. A. Kyle Hill, a physics major who graduated in 2006, started SURF after his first year at Mt. A in 2003.

Hill recognized that the students were performing various research projects throughout the summer and that a forum was needed to share and celebrate these works. “[It] started as a science specific event and within a couple years it sort of took on a life of its own and broadened to the whole campus across all disciplines,” said Bruce.

The fair has grown over the past 15 years, and provides students with a platform to present to their peers and to members of the general campus and community.

Kiera Stel, one of the fair’s student organizers, believes the fair is an important event by which student research, which may have been previously not well broadcasted, can

be shared with the University and general community. “There is so much happening in the summer for students at Mt. A . . . I had no idea [about] all the things that were going

on with the Lyme disease project,” Stel said, describing her excitement and amazement for the broad range of research topics presented. “[The University] has a very strong emphasis on the student opportunities and the student experience doing research,” Bruce said. “There are relatively few other universities in Canada who provide a full range of opportunities for undergraduates to do [the types of] research that we do here at Mt. A.” To support the fair, his office offers budget support and administrative and logistical aid to the organizing committee, and promotion of the event to the university community.

Fourth-year environmental science student Caeleigh Marshall presented her research on habitat preferences of Littoral Cladocera (a type of microcrustaceans) in the three-minute thesis format.

“Seeing people kind of get over

their nerves and talk about their research . . . that was neat and I learned a lot about what people are doing,” Marshall said. “I think the three-minute thesis really was great because it was a basic way of understanding the research.”

Marshall’s only complaint was the notoriously echoey acoustics in Tweedie Hall. Despite this, she felt that “Everyone did a really great job.

It was just nice to see and I stayed a lot longer than I thought,” Marshall said. “[I] wanted to see the presentations once they got going.”

The fair consisted of 18 posters and 30 three-minute thesis presentations, primarily presented by fourth-year honours students.

DDT/GENETICALLY MODIFIED FISH/SHOREBIRD/BIOPLASTIC SARAH NOONAN/ARGOSY

04

NEWS

SEPTEMBER 28, 2017 | ARGOSY@MTA.CA

This Week in New Brunswick Compiled by EMMA BUSH News Editor

Southern NB has had humidex values up to the low 40s, breaking temperature records from 1908 on Sept. 24, most impressively at St. Stephen at 31.2 deg C. The Rick Mercer Report has begun its last season on Sept. 26 after 15 seasons since 2004. Mercer has no plans for the future after the show ends.

Residents of Millenium Blvd. in Moncton requested streetlights to cut down on speeding and unsafe traffic in the area.

Seven reported North Atlantic right whales entrapped in fishing gear, two confirmed dead, in Gulf of Saint Lawrence this summer.

Sackville NB Atlantic Wildlife Institute treated five Canadian Geese for angel wing, a developmental issue influenced by poor diet.

Children’s Author Sheree Firch and retired professor Anne Hunt launched an anthology of Atlantic Canadian children’s poems.

Sherrie Thomas purchased banana at Boiestown Irving convenience store and won $15,000 on “Pump Up the Fun to Win” sticker.

50 humpback whales reported dead in the Gulf of Main over the past two years, 11 of which were hit by boats. Citizen scientsts shared photographs of whale tales in order to record and identify whales. 800 identified this way.

Two men threatened and robbed of electronics and money in Moncton home invasion; treated for minor injuries.

This Week at MASU council Compiled by MAIA HERRIOT News Editor

The Presidential Search Committee met on Sept. 15 to look over applicants.

Interviews will be held in November and a decision will be made in time for the Board of Regents meeting in February.

COMMUNITY

Sackville Commons celebrates its first year A garden interview with the executive director CORINNA PAUMIER Contributor Often simply referred to as “the Commons,” the Sackville Commons Co-op recently celebrated its first anniversary on Wednesday, Sept. 20 with its first annual general meeting (AGM). The meeting, while intended to highlight and inform community members and stakeholders of the past year’s progress, was also a celebration of innovation and collaboration within Sackville.

Julia Feltham, the Commons executive director, along with Melody Petlock and Rachel Mathis (the two other founding partners) all had different reasons for starting. “I saw a need and a willingness to collaborate, but it wasn’t part of anyone’s mission to co-ordinate together,” said Feltham.

Currently, the Commons is located at both 62 and 64 Main St. in the former fire hall and police station.

In just one year, the Commons has expanded to 75 members, which, Feltham explained, means that “as of year one, we are over 70 per cent member-funded, which is really rad.”

The Commons, Sackville’s first co-working space, is a place “built for collaboration and to help people reduce the cost and risk of starting their own business or running an NGO.” The space enables business people to “sort out ideas and get less scared about trying something new and exciting.…Part of our mandate is

to have great things start in Sackville,” said Feltham.

Current members and businesses range from a small craft brewery (established by Mount Allison students), a mental health drop-in centre for adults, the Sackville Farmer’s Market, an abundance of local farmers and a workers co-operative focused on cleaning services. The Commons is host to many other diverse and innovative individuals and businesses, which ultimately creates a facilitative environment for new and ongoing entrepreneurship.

The future of the Commons looks toward “normalizing entrepreneurship in Canada,” said Feltham. “People are worried about you when you try and live your dreams and I think as much as New Brunswick has a mandate about becoming the most entrepreneurial province, we haven’t realized yet how we talk to each other about each other’s dreams and hopes.”

As a result of the AGM, Feltham said that she feels reassured about the work that the Commons has done in the last year. Written testimonials from members and community stakeholders have solidified the Commons as an integral cog in Sackville’s co-working wheel.

“In the past couple of months we have also helped over ten families find food or navigate services in town … and also [had] over thirteen business consultations, and at least

Executive-Director of the New Brunswick Students Alliance (NBSA), Rob Burroughs, is stepping down. His replacement will be transitioned this November.

The three-year trial period for the fall study break ends after this year. Senate will vote on its continuance this fall.

MASU Executive Newsletter is now bi-weekly and will be published on Mondays.

MASU job and committee applications are open until Oct. 4.

CHMA is introducing a weekly “What’s New with MASU” segment.

Sackville Pride Parade is set for Oct. 12.

The new off-campus student mascot is a honey badger.

YOUR HONEY CHEERING YOU ON FROM THE SIDELINES. SYLVAN HAMBURGER/ARGOSY THE SACKVILLE COMMONS LOGO. PHOTO TAKEN FROM THEIR WEBSITE

half of those people have explicitly said ‘it would have taken me twice as long’ or ‘I would not have ever started or tried without the Commons,’” said Feltham. “So yeah, we’re pretty exciting.”

As for the connection between Mt. A and the Commons, “Honestly, we are excited to develop that relationship more,” said Feltham.

“Mt. A, explicitly spearheaded by Tina Oh, got us one of our start-up funds. [The University] gave us $500 in our first couple months of existing, which was huge.”

For students as well as community members, the Commons provides a safe space where ideas and businesses can incubate and grow collaboratively.

Membership also minimizes the risk new start-ups can face by providing access to “inexpensive meeting spaces and very confidential areas.”

As a message to students, Feltham said, “the more we can collaborate and communicate, the less we have to reinvent the wheel, because students are the heart-blood of Sackville and if we can’t amplify their impact and also help [students] … then it actually is robbing greater Sackville of the richness [that they can provide].”

The Commons is always looking for new ideas and meaningful partnerships with students and community members to create social impact. To get involved or volunteer, reach out to us at coworkingsackville@ gmail.com or visit their website at www.coworksackville.com.

NEWS

THE ARGOSY | WWW.SINCE1872.CA

ARCHIVES

STUDENT LIFE

05

The Pond gets a summer facelift

Campus bar changes direction from a dance club to a cozy pub LILY FALK News Reporter

LYNNE THIBAULT Former Reporter From the Archives brings you old news today. As time passes, the news we report on changes, as does the way we report on it. Conversely, we’ve been covering some of the same issues since 1872. Today students are taking in the new Pond. In 1989, the Pub was the place to drink on campus, and with recent changes the modern Pond looks more like the old Pub than ever before.

Thurs. Feb. 9, 1989: vol. 118, issue 15.

Imagine this … The Pub on a Saturday night. I know it doesn’t seem exciting, a bar full of empty tables with ten people crowded around the pool table. However, that is only if it is a usual Saturday night.

If you didn’t stop by the Pub on Feb.4 you missed something. Something called Javici.

Javici is a jazz band comprised of four Mt. Allison students; Vince Schillaci Ventura on piano, Craig Potier on trumpet, Jon Saudner on drums and Katrina Bishop as lead vocalist. They first appeared on Amateur night at the Pub, taking second place. But on this evening they had top billing, playing to an appreciative audience. The pub was full. As the bartender said: ‘It was a different crowd. They tipped well

and really seemed to be enjoying the music. They were really relaxed and didn’t cause any problems. I enjoyed myself.’

Perhaps the mood was set by the music. The band played three forty-five minute sets. Their opening number ‘Stormy Weather’ was a crowd pleaser. Katrina Bishop has a voice that deserves to be heard. She also has a wonderful stage presence.

But each member of the band had their own shining moment. The audience loved the drum solo and cheered appreciatively. As the evening wore on, and they became more relaxed, Craig’s trumpet solos were superb. The band played a few numbers without vocals, a favorite being ‘Straight, No Chaser’. However, when Katrina sang ‘All of Me, Why Not Take All of Me’, I’m sure there were more than a few male members of the audience who were ready, willing and able. They closed the show with ‘Georgia’. However, the audience wasn’t content to let the show stop there. Cries of encore could be heard. With satisfied smiles, the band obliged and played two more numbers.

Hopefully, there will be a repeat performance. If there is be there early, the word is out. Javici means a good time and good music.

I’M SURE THERE WERE MORE THAN A FEW MALE MEMBERS OF THE AUDIENCE WHO WERE READY, WILLING AND ABLE.

This past summer, Mount Allison’s campus bar, the Pond, went through some major changes. Students may remember the Pond for its murals, sticky floors and poor lighting, but the Pond has an updated rustic pub look with brand new tables, booths, a pool table and a fresh paint job.

“Students were not coming to the pub,” said Andy Hebert, manager of ancillary operations, who led the renovations. “We started doing focus groups, we started doing surveys to find out why people didn’t like the space. We were trying to be a dance club and it was just too small. People didn’t feel comfortable in the space – it was too hot, too dark.”

The changes were first proposed by former MASU president Ryan LeBreton in the summer of 2016.

The University took a year to consult students and gather feedback. Over this past summer, the University funded the changes and the MASU collaborated to help shape the new direction of the bar.

Eduardo Bracho, a Mt. A student who works for Event Services, described the new vibe as “pubfeeling.” The bar is now open for lunch and dinner, and is in the process of expanding its menu.

Eva Gourdji, a fourth-year student and bartender, mentioned the

increased lighting. “It was very poorly lit as well as kind of dark which made it feel unsafe, so we definitely have way more lights,” Gourdji said. “It’s more of a social space than a party room.”

The Pond’s changes aim to bring a larger and more diverse crowd to the bar.

Gourdji has already noticed a difference in clientele. “[It was an] exclusive space where only certain people would go on certain dates, and this year on the Wednesday and Thursday nights it’s been crowded but with such a mix of people,” she said.

Fourth-year student Shaelee Mitchinson, a Pond regular, likes the new changes to the campus bar and described the new ambience as “an intimate vibe” and “cozier.”

The Pond now has an entertainment committee that will help shape its new direction.

MASU President Sara Camus said that the changes were guided by feedback from students that focused on the need for the bar to be a getaway from the stress of university life.

“The aesthetic that was chosen was to be an escape – a warmer rustic tone,” Camus said. ”I really like that it’s a casual space now, where students are encouraged to not have their sole focus of their night be drink specials and dancing.”

While the Pond may have a fresh new look, only time will tell whether students embrace the changes.

“WE WERE TRYING TO BE A DANCE

CLUB AND IT WAS JUST TOO SMALL.

PEOPLE DIDN’T FEEL COMFORTABLE IN THE SPACE ”

PRESUMABLY KATRINA BISHOP UNKNOWN/ARGOSY

J.E.A. CRAKE FOUNDATION ARTS INTERNSHIPS

Three internships are available for projects involving the close collaboration between students in any discipline and faculty/staff, typically in Fine Arts, Music, Drama and the Literature Departments (English, French, Spanish and German).

Internships can be held only by students in good standing who are registered as full-time (i.e. in at least three courses in both fall and winter semesters).

They are comprised of a stipend of $1000 (paid in two installments) and generally demand three to four hours per week.

Interdisciplinary projects are especially encouraged, and internships may be awarded to support curricular or co-curricular projects. Students are required to complete their projects by April 15, 2018.

APPLICATIONS

These should provide (1) a concise (300 word) outline of the project that also explains its role in the applicant’s ongoing formation as an artist as well as the project’s relationship to the student’s activities at Mount Allison, and (2) a letter of support from the proposed faculty or staff mentor.

Applications are due by 2:30 p.m., Friday, October 20, 2017 addressed to The Crake Arts Internships Committee c/o Dr. Peter Brown, Department of English Literatures.

Please submit your application electronically to pbrown@mta.ca and copy it to Ms. Elaine Simpson, the Administrative Assistant of the English Department at esimpson@mta.ca.

For more information email pbrown@mta.ca or go to http://jeacrakefoundation.org/pdf/16_crake_arts_internships.pdf

06

NEWS

SEPTEMBER 28, 2017 | ARGOSY@MTA.CA

STUDENT RESEARCH

Honours student research profiles

COMMUNITY

Local musician awarded “Sackville Citizen of the Year” Janet Crawford recognized by Sackville community for substantial volunteer service

AMELIA MACDOUGALL FLEMING News Reporter

CECILIA STUART IS A FOURTH YEAR HONOURS STUDENT IN THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT.

“My research looks at ecopoetry by Canadian women writers in the context of biosemiotic theory. Biosemiotics understands human language as one small component of a much larger system of sign interpretation that occurs within and between all life forms. In other words, our language is not as unique as we think it is, and because of this our conception of ideas like knowledge, interpretation and meaningmaking as wholly human is flawed. When it comes to literature, this means that we can think about environmentally concerned writing as evidence of our culture’s understanding of itself, nature and the way those concepts interact with each other. I’m looking at how Canadian poetry by women in particular consciously plays with language in order to subvert anthropocentric linguistic norms in the face of the global climate crisis, which I think is really exciting and important!”

The Sackville Citizen of the Year Award is presented each fall with the purpose of recognizing outstanding volunteerism within the Sackville community.

This year’s winner is Janet Crawford, a local musician and the owner of Fog Forest Art Gallery on Bridge Street. Crawford is a long-time Sackvillian who boasts an impressive list of volunteer experience.

Crawford is involved in a diverse range of programs, including the Marjorie Young Bell Music Award Committee, the Tantramar Blues Society, Sing Sing Sackville and the annual Culture Days. “[Volunteering is] not just about business, and it’s not just about the arts, and it’s not just about community development, it’s about a little bit of everything,” Crawford said.

Laura Hunter, co-creator and member of Sing Sing Sackville, said

over email, “[Crawford] brought her enthusiasm, encouragement, organizing and managing skills to the table – literally, her kitchen table – and in one evening we were able to launch this event that brings together a wide cross-section of the community who love to sing together.

Janet’s an amazing community connector.”

Crawford has also been a board member of organizations such as the Drew Nursing Home, the Sackville Arts Wall and the Community Business Development Corporations (CBDC).

The Sackville community has developed many programs with the help of volunteers. “It’s an amazing community in terms of the volunteerism that goes on. If you think about all of the organizations, right down to the children’s sports teams, to service clubs, to hospital boards, to nursing home boards, fundraising committees . . . they’re all volunteers and it’s really quite remarkable what goes on [in the

community],” Crawford said.

Sackville, like many small communities, benefits immensely from its volunteers. “In many ways I think it’s even more important to [volunteer] now than when I started working in community activities,” Crawford said. “We can’t expect the centre of the region to be thinking about what needs we have — we have to do it ourselves.”

As a young woman, Crawford was inspired to start volunteering because her older brother was involved in a number of community activities.

Additionally, Crawford said, “I [started volunteering] because I had other women — older women — who I used as role models. I would see a number of women stepping up for the hospital association, or stepping in to what was then the school board — and I admired those women.”

Things have come full circle, as Crawford is now a role model and is sure to inspire members of the Sackville community for many years to come.

OMBUDSPERSONS

Letter from the MASU and University ombudspersons

Students can consult ombudspersons for grievances with MASU or administration MATTHEW CROSS SARA MIZEN Contributors

OLIVIA ADAMS IS A FOURTH YEAR HONOURS STUDENT IN THE BIOCHEMISTRY DEPARTMENT.

“I spent the summer researching papers, writing my thesis and working on previous students’ projects to submit for publication. I was also able to do a lot of cool lab work that will continue throughout the rest of the year. My hypothesis revolves around rising water temperatures that affect fish and how they swim in nature. I study rainbow trout and how they respond to changing temperatures by looking at oxygen consumption and calcium movement in their bodies while they swim.

Throughout the rest of the year, I will continue to perform more tests in the lab and analyze the data. I’m excited to see what kind of conclusions I will have when I finish writing my thesis!”

SAVANNAH MILEEN HARRIS/ARGOSY

Dear Students, Have you ever needed guidance regarding MASU services or policies?

Have you ever had a concern or issue with the Mount Allison University administration that you would like to discuss and/or seek guidance on? If so, the answer to your question can very likely come from an ombudsperson.

One of the many services the MASU provides is consultation with both the MASU and the University ombudspersons. Ombudspersons are students who can assist in helping other students with any grievances they have with the union or school.

We can act as a liaison between you and the MASU or you and the school, and help you find the right methods and people to solve your problems.

Importantly, our work with you is confidential, so you never have to worry about any public issues that

may stem from your concerns.

So, what do our two ombudspersons do?

As the MASU ombudsperson, Sara’s job is to provide guidance to students seeking information regarding MASU services, policies and procedures. Part of her job is to serve as an impartial body when investigating any reported grievances concerning the MASU or any aspect of student life. In these cases, she works to inform and advise students of their rights and responsibilities, and to refer them to the appropriate bodies, offices and resources to come to a resolution. As a sociology major, Sara is very interested in social justice, power structures and how people within a community interact with one another.

As the university ombudsperson, Matthew is responsible for the independent investigation of complaints made by students against the University administration and the subsequent recommendations

to appropriate governing bodies. He can act in a mediatory capacity in cases placed before judicial and social justice committees, on behalf of the student as an adviser to their issues.

Matthew is a fourth-year PPE student who is very interested in the rules of conduct of the university and our union.

For MASU concerns, Sara can be contacted at sjmizen@mta.ca. For University concerns, Matthew can be contacted at mjcross@mta.ca. Simply put the heading “ombudsperson” in your email and we will be happy to assist you in a confidential manner.

We can set up appointments and go over any issues you have, how we can help and where the best resources for fixing your problems are.

Please feel free to contact us with any concerns you may have so that we can help you get the answers you need!

Sincerely, Matthew Cross Sara Mizen

EDITOR: ALIX MAIN SEPTEMBER 28, 2017 | ARGOSY@MTA.CA

SERIAL FICTION

ARTS & CULTURE 07

Small town, big mystery Chapter 1: A Curious Night in Lincolnshire

NEW IN TOWN

I wanna be a rock store WILL BALSER NICK RYAN Contributors

Meet Dave. Dave owns a sweet mustache, a vibrant suspender collection and your local rock store.

Dave’s Rock Emporium at 15 Bridge Street is Sackville’s only source of quality new and used LPs, bold jacket buttons, decorative posters and polished rocks. Having opened in July, it is the newest addition to the downtown streetscape.

In his spare time, Dave likes “going to the beach, collecting rocks and hanging out with my kids.”

Before becoming our local rock star, family man Dave was a military photographer, videographer and aircraft mechanic for 33 years, with his last posting in Alberta. Dave then retired to Sackville, leaving behind the reels of film and the feels of flight.

The idea for the store came in several parts: The initial concept was to open a mineral store, as he and his wife have made rock collecting a hobby of theirs for many years.

The inspiration for a record store came from a CBC radio program that Dave heard one day, detailing the resurgence of vinyl in popular culture. The two ventures combined under the convenient homonym of a “Rock Emporium.” Dave established

his store here in Sackville based on its reputation for creativity and its centrality in the maritime region.

Since its establishment over two months ago, the shop has seen a great amount of success due to an influx of tourism over the summer. Sappyfest was an especially useful event to bolster the shop’s presence in town.

The Emporium has sold hundreds of records, posters and rocks. They continue to order and stock up on popular and alternative albums as well as wall art.

“The first time I went to Dave’s, I found a King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard record – so I automatically had to go back. They had cool people, cool pins and a record I didn’t expect to see in Sackville,” town resident Hannah Melanson said.

As for the future of the shop, Dave says that he would like more feedback from his customers on what they’d like to see in the shop. “This is Sackville’s record store, so it’s up to everyone to help it grow.” He also outlined plans to add more shelving, and a lounge area in the front of the shop.

If you want to help support Dave’s rock addiction, you can be like us and buy three copies of KC and the Sunshine Band’s Happy Birthday, or donate your old vinyl collection to a good home.

“THIS IS SACKVILLE’S RECORD STORE, SO

IT’S UP TO EVERYONE TO HELP IT GROW.”

MARIA DIME Columnist Ralph looked skyward with a start.

The distinct reverberation of a sonic boom had snapped him from a daydream, and now he scanned the clouded horizon for its source. If the sound is over there, where is the plane?

Above me? He chided himself for not having paid more attention in grade 10 science. That was quickly forgotten though, as he caught sight of a military plane on his left, curling down towards Lincolnshire. What in tarnation is this about? Ralph loved to use words like tarnation.

His first instinct was selfpreservation. With surprising speed, he grabbed the lid from a garbage can at the front of his driveway and ran back onto his porch. He squatted there, leaning against the brick wall of his home, using the garbage can lid to shield his face and vital organs.

He was thankful nobody saw him. A helluva day to be locked out. Christ. And

by George, where’s Dad? After some reflection, Ralph decided he was being ridiculous, and cowardly. His second (but, he thought, his more authentic) instinct was to get as close to the airplane as possible. He carefully set down the

garbage can lid, as if the clattering noise might give away his position, and booked it across the street to the park. He made a beeline for Old Piney, the park’s largest tree. It sat on a small hill – more of a bump, really – near the centre of the park. The town had cleared a wide ring of trees around Old Piney, for aesthetic effect. Ralph thought it a very effective choice.

He had climbed Old Piney a thousand times before and could easily have done it eyes closed. He often did, in fact. This time, however, he gave himself the advantage of sight, and practically flew up the tree. Once positioned in his usual hold, about 10 feet from the top and 50 from the ground, he turned his attention to the plane. It was a small jet, one of those dogfighters the armies don’t really use anymore.

It flew in circles around the town, intermittently swooping towards the ground. Some kinda arsehole. There was a rope hanging off the back of the plane, with an object attached at the end. This last detail perplexed Ralph.

It soon became apparent that the plane was descending. With each swoop it came a little closer, its deafening roar becoming louder.

Although Ralph could hardly believe it, it seemed to swoop directly at him

each time. What in God’s name is the meaning of this? The initial fear for his safety was creeping back. Just as he’d decided to get back to his garbage can lid, the plane made its deepest swoop yet. It flew right over Ralph, some 30 feet above Old Piney. As it flew over him, the rope and object fell from the plane. There was a shattering of branches, and chips of wood flew in every direction.

Unscathed, Ralph opened his eyes to find a brown sack, about the size of his own body, directly in front of him. It looked kind of like a medieval peasant’s smock. A zipper ran down the centre of the bag, from top to bottom. Ralph reached out his right hand. He paused, then reached out with his left hand instead. The devil’s hand befits this queer happening. As his fingers clasped the zipper, he felt a shiver run through his arm and descend his spine. Godspeed. He ripped down the zipper to reveal a pale and naked body with a tree branch protruding from its midriff.

Only seconds had passed, but a crowd already gathered at the base of Old Piney. “Ralph! Ralph!” a young father called. “What is it?”

“It’s Herr Hansel,” he responded.

“Herr Hansel is dead!”

BONUS ROCK FACTS: DAVE’S FAVOURITE COLOUR IS YELLOW AND ‘RUMORS’ BY FLEETWOOD MAC IS THE STORE’S BEST SELLER, SO FAR. GILLIAN HILL/ARGOSY

HOCO HO HOMECOMING: A WEEKEND OF SPORTS THAT BRINGS CURRENT STUDENTS AND ALUMNI TOGETHER TO FILL THE STANDS. We all come together in garnet and gold, half of us not knowing a thing about football but loving the social atmosphere of the game. The seats fill quickly with students ready to yell together and support their Mounties. It is arguably the weekend where Mountie pride shines brightest.

“I’m a big fan of seeing the alumni who come back,” said fourth-year student and Mounties fan Jesse Melanson. “It is a big event for the whole community of Sackville and it’s nice to see how everyone rallies around the Mounties. It’s an all-around pleasant atmosphere.”

The stands were filled with enthusiastic fans of all ages. From current students and alumni to local Sackville children and pets, Alumni Field was surrounded by smiling faces enjoying the beautiful sunny weather. Proud fans cheered on their Mounties until the final whistle, when we watched the Mounties fall short by a one-point heartbreaker for the second game in a row.

Halfway through the football season, the Mounties hold a 1-3 record that doesn’t reflect the talent of the team. To say the least, this record is disappointing for the players, coaching staff and fans. “The past two games have been heartbreaking, but this team is built to persevere through challenges,” André Goguen, a fifth-year Mountie, commented via text. “We believe that it will help us in the long run. We try to stay up as a team since the difference between being 1-3 and 3-1 is losing by 1 point in two games.”

Despite Homecoming’s traditional concentration around the football team, Mount Allison Athletics set up the schedule so other fall sports teams also played at home. The women’s rugby team won Saturday night at home, and the men’s team lost on the road. The Mt. A lacrosse team also played on the road Saturday morning, where they suffered a loss to Acadia.

On Sunday, we saw both the men’s and women’s soccer teams play. The women earned their first win of the season with a victory over Saint Mary’s, but the men’s team fell to the Huskies.

The women’s basketball team also played Sunday afternoon, losing an exhibition game to UPEI. Following Homecoming weekend, Pierre Arsenault, the director of athletics and recreation, discussed how happy he was with the turnout: “We always enjoy Homecoming weekend because it’s a great time to celebrate our student athletes from all our programs and the important contributions they make in our community. We appreciate all the tremendous support our Mounties teams received over the course of the weekend.”

Whether you follow any of the sports that were played this weekend or just decided to participate in homecoming for the social aspect, it’s always great to see everyone come together and show off their Mountie pride in garnet and gold. Until next fall!

PHOTOGRAPHS BY ADRIAN KIVA AND GILLIAN HILL TEXT BY KEIFER BELL CENTREFOLD LAYOUT BY MARINA MAVRIDIS

OCO HOCO

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ARTS & CULTURE

SEPTEMBER 28, 2017 | ARGOSY@MTA.CA

EARLY MUSIC FESTIVAL

Mt. A hosts Early Music Festival

¡Sacabuche! kicks off the Sackville Early Music Festival with newly researched compositions assortment of brass. The truly stunning instruments, however, were those that most people do not see on a regular basis, such as the theorbo, played by Daniel Zuluaga.

This instrument looks similar to a sitar, although the harmonic strings are placed on an upper bridge instead of under the main frets.

Zuluaga masterfully breathed life into the 400-year-old compositions, and also had the concert’s only solo performance, a selection on baroque guitar. It was easily one of the highlights of the festival. He plucked and strummed in the traditional O-shaped pattern, creating a light tinkling sound that emanated from the guitar.

A few of the songs included in this selection were accompanied by vocals provided by contralto Vicki St. Pierre, who sang in the traditional style of early music lyricism; vowels rolled smoothly off her tongue, a feat requiring expert pitch control as well as an incredibly strong voice.

St. Pierre navigated this challenge tremendously, and ultimately enhanced the concert with her powerful vocals and skillful handling of source material.

Communication among the musicians was an unbelievably well done aspect of the concert. All t’s were

crossed and i’s dotted in this tight set. The first violinist in particular, Martha Perry, made her intention clear when beginning and ending sections by connecting with each of her fellow musicians using facial cues.

She communicated without words or gestures – it seemed as if she led the band in its entirety.

A few of Mt. A’s own music faculty were present in the group of performers. St. Pierre did the school proud with her performance. Pearse, who played in the brass section, dazzled the crowd with perfect piping that easily filled the Brunton Auditorium.

Concerts and festivals like this are incredibly important for schools. Bringing different styles of music and different cultures to our fingertips allows us to find different perspectives. “It’s not something that happens very often,” said Brianna Green, a first-year music student.

“It’s not as appreciated as much as it should be.” The Early Music Festival brings in an array of performances that are both inspiring and valuable to its community. I give thanks to all who performed for the privilege of experiencing such a magnificent performance.

ALL T’S WERE

CROSSED AND I’S DOTTED IN THIS TIGHT SET.

YOU’VE GOT TO HEAR THIS! LOUIS SOBOL/ARGOSY

MAX CHAPMAN Reporter Fall has returned to Sackville, and with it the annual Sackville Festival of Early Music. On Friday, Sept. 22, I had the absolute pleasure of seeing ¡Sacabuche! perform the inaugural concert for this year’s festival, which is now in its 13th year. The ensemble,

under the artistic direction of Dr. Linda Pearse, presented a blend of traditional German, Czech, Austrian and Swedish music from the 16th and 17th centuries.

Shawn Bostick, the festival’s administrative director, welcomed a filled auditorium Friday night in Brunton. Attendees, students and members of the community alike,

arrived excited to witness what promised to be an interesting night of lesser-known music, entitled “Hidden Treasures.” Most of the compositions from this concert had been found in ancient European archives dating back to the Medieval Period.

For the most part, the band used conventional, popular instruments, such as the violin, organ and an

Toronto consort performs enlightening concert Group of early music specialists put on unique and engaging performance

MAGGIE PITMAN Contributor This past Homecoming weekend was more than just parties and football. Mount Allison’s Brunton Auditorium played host to many musicians specializing in early music

as a part of the Sackville Festival of Early Music. The festival included performers, like the Toronto Consort, from all corners of the country. On Sunday afternoon, this ensemble, which consists of nine singers and instrumentalists, filled Brunton Auditorium with engaging music.

One of the more fascinating components of this performance was the plethora of 16th century musical instruments that were brought to the stage. Specifically, instruments such as the lute, harpsichord, baroque cello, recorder and hurdy gurdy.

Many of these instruments had never

been seen by current music students at Mt. A. “We’ve been studying these instruments in our music history classes, however few of us have actually seen them. It brings a new level to the education that we’re receiving,” said Bryenton Innes, third-year music major.

This specific concert paid special attention to works from Shakespeare’s Songbook. David Fallis, who led the group, took time before the themed sets to explain which of Shakespeare’s plays were being referenced in each piece. Each set was composed of three or four pieces that exposed themes prominent in Shakespeare’s work, such as love, madness, foolishness, tragedy and politics.

Third-year music major Isaiah Yankech went into further detail on how the music was performed. “The Toronto Consort did an excellent job conveying the featured works in a style that represented how Shakespeare’s plays would have been performed in the 16th and 17th centuries.

The ensemble performed a diverse and engaging program entailing an intimate, responsive supporting cast of instrumentalists that enhanced the captivating text that the vocalists sang.”

The pieces in this performance came with their own unique style, mimicking folk songs from 16th century Europe. There were many humorous numbers, which added a light and fun ambience. In contrast, there were also many sorrowful pieces, which provided a stronger appreciation for the astounding tone and technique from the vocalists. Listening to this ensemble was a learning opportunity not only for vocalists in the audience but also for instrumentalists.

“I thought the group was very tight-knit in terms of their individual performances, as well as their performances as an ensemble,” said Innes. “They were able to share this intimacy with the audience, which is something not a lot of ensembles can do.”

The Early Music Festival brings more and more musical education to Mt. A each year. Not only does it provide a different musical setting for the community, but it also adds a new level of learning for students in the music department. The Toronto Consort was a huge part of this education through their own unique musical style from Shakespeare’s Songbook.

“IT BRINGS A NEW LEVEL TO THE

EDUCATION THAT

WE’RE RECEIVING”

SHAKESPEARE’S SONGBOOK, A DEVILLISHLY GOOD WORK LIANG CHAOYI/ARGOSY

ARTS & CULTURE

THE ARGOSY | WWW.SINCE1872.CA

DRAMA

Mt. A alumnus “sticks it to the man”

11

Justin Collette begins performances as lead in School of Rock on Broadway

JENA MCLEAN Reporter Justin Collette’s days of performing in the Pond are in the past. The cofounder of Presents: the Improv has found a new stage to call his own: Broadway’s Winter Garden theatre, home to School of Rock.

I spoke with him on the phone last week in anticipation of his role change in the musical adaptation of the 2004 comedy film. Initially brought into the show to cover for an ensemble member’s vacation, Collette remained in the cast through the creation of a new position: the Dewey alternate.

This meant he performed at least three shows per week, mostly covering matinées. Collette explained: “They don’t want Dewey doing a show twice in one day because it’s so vocally demanding.”

As of Sept.

25, Justin has graduated to the principal role of Dewey, played in the film by Jack Black. Now the lead of the show, he performs five nights a week. Of the change, he said, “It’s nice to get into a flow of doing it.”

Originally from Moncton, Collette’s Mt. A days included performances with Windsor Theatre, Black Tie Productions and “SUSHI, the Sackville Underground Society of Housebroken Improvisers.” When SUSHI fell apart, Collette saw an opportunity. His senior independent study culminated in the founding of Presents: the Improv, which is “still the project that I’m the most proud of.”

Erik Garf, the current artistic director of Presents: the Improv, reflected that pride in an email: “It’s great to see one of the founders of Presents carrying the torch onto the Broadway stage.”

After studying at Chicago’s Second City and “taking any job that I could to survive,” Collette co-founded Get Some!, “an all-star group of Canadian sketch comedians.” This project also landed Collette an agent – “the best thing that’s ever happened to me” – and an eventual School of Rock audition.

After learning three songs and ten pages of script in thirty-six hours, making it through multiple rounds of auditions in Toronto and New York, and a rehearsal process he described as “amazing, in the actual, literal sense of that word,” Collette joined the company onstage.

This eventually led to experimenting with the role of Dewey.

“This show is really unique in that they want all of their Deweys to be different,” Collette said, “I got to improvise a bunch of jokes that ended up making it into the show.”

Collette’s flair for improvisation came as no surprise to Garf: “Improvisers know better than any other actor how to ‘play’ on the stage.”

Collette admitted he was most surprised by level of physical health required for multiple performances a week. He said, “To be on Broadway, you have to really maintain your body because if you’re not at 100% when you go onstage it just sucks.” And the hardest part of the Broadway show?

“IT’S GREAT TO SEE ONE OF THE FOUNDERS OF PRESENTS CARRYING

THE TORCH ONTO THE BROADWAY STAGE.”

JUSTIN COLLETTE IS VERY EXCITED ABOUT HIS ROLE AS DEWEY IN THE BROADWAY MUSICAL SCHOOL OF ROCK JUSTIN COLLETTE/SUBMITTED The layers of Dewey’s costumes. musical about it.” he and his wife Jennie were among “It looks amazing, but oh boy, do Justin also admitted that one of his the first to know of Collette’s new I ever lose five pounds a show.” He favourite parts of the show takes place job. “We had a very excited 11:30 also described the marathon of an outside of the theatre: meeting the p.m. phone call to tell us of the news.” opening sequence, which includes “an audience. “I love it,” he said, “That’s He added: “I also think it’s perfect Andrew [Lloyd Webber] epic” and one of the most energizing things of casting as he has both the acting and choreography that is solely comprised the whole process.” musical skills to pull off that role.” of “run!”

New York City audiences are Del Motte also wrote: “It is The positives greatly outweigh supportive, but perhaps not as proud great to see so many out there not any negatives. The child actors? as Sackvillians. Paul Del Motte, only working, but excelling in their “They’re great. They’re also insanely Motyer-Fancy Theatre’s production chosen field whether it be on stage, talented and you can’t help but just manager, said via email: “Justin has backstage, directing or managing.” fall in love with them.” The constant always been driven and he knew at Most importantly, however, it quick changes? “It’s kind of fun, the end of the day he wanted to work matters “that we have people leaving you feel like a NASCAR car.” The in the entertainment industry. A this school with a better knowledge relationship between Dewey and the leader, rarely a follower.” and appreciation of theatre.” kids? “There’s something magic and In addition, Del Motte shared that

COLUMN

Sharp reviews: American Assassin

Assassins aren’t born, they’re made. Badly.

DEREK SHARP Columnist I’ll just get out there and say it: This is a bad, thematically obtuse movie that eerily glorifies real world violence without any objection to the brutality unfolding onscreen. Our protagonist, Mitch Rapp (played by Dylan O’Brien), is quite honestly a walking, talking gun. His only personality trait other than He Can Shoot And Stab Real Good is that he doesn’t like to follow orders, making him a loose cannon of sorts. If he isn’t exhibiting one of these two characteristics, he’s making a joke that never – and I mean never – lands. A bored Michael Keaton, who plays Stan Hurley, is no better, as he essentially functions to highlight how wild and uncontrollable our boy Mitch is.

The plot is horrendously complicated – at the expense of its characters, I might add. Everyone is so busy inorganically sharing plot details that there isn’t a single moment left to add

any real character depth. The film’s femme fatale Annika, played by Shiva Negar, is painfully underutilized; her entire character is a plot twist that doesn’t amount to anything.

In Annika, we find American Assassin’s greatest flaw: It mistakes plot complexity for narrative quality.

It forgets that we need to care about these people in order for this all to work and, unfortunately, there’s no emotional core to grab onto.

Technically speaking, the movie is passable. At times the editing can be abrupt and the visuals confusing, but generally speaking the film flows acceptably well. In terms of production design, it’s visually bland, with most of the major characters wearing earth-tone shirts and cargo shorts that causes everybody to look indistinct and unmemorable. In the age of John Wick, Atomic Blonde and Skyfall, an action film this visually uninspired is inexcusable.

So, how about those action scenes?

Considering they are the crux of this

movie, they’re fine, but shockingly brutal, which initially encourages further analysis. They seemingly promise the depth that American Assassin sorely lacks. Unfortunately, in confronting the film’s casual violence and, by extension, its shockingly c y n i c a l treatment of human life, it’s soon revealed that the film’s lack of depth makes brutal violence for its own sake, which comes off as tasteless.

American Assassin is firmly set in our world and revolves around real

events. In fact, the Iranian nuclear deal is a central plot point. The film navigates the heavy topics of nukes, backroom deals and complex geopolitical landscapes with such masculine gumption that it’s characters don’t seem to care that millions of people could consequently die.

You know how in most movies with big bombs as the central threat the protagonists are motivated by a desire to save others?

American Assassin

doesn’t ever mention the people at risk. It frames a nuke as an attack against the United States of America instead of against Americans, and that’s a huge difference. It could be read as an obscure critique of the military industrial complex, but this movie is far too stupid for that to be intentional. The film’s ending serves only to cement this cynical disregard for human life, coming across as shocking and weird: It puts brutally little value on human life while presenting no substantial criticism of the of the real world events it’s drawing on.

I have no doubt that in 50 years American Assassin will be analyzed as a cultural artifact of this era of neoliberal militarism we find ourselves in. But for right now, it’s just a bad movie.

Catch American Assassin at The Vogue from Sept. 21st to 25th and Sept. 27th at 8 p.m.

IMAGE: LIONSGATE./CBS FILMS

12

ARTS & CULTURE

SEPTEMBER 28, 2017 | ARGOSY@MTA.CA

FINE ARTS

Invoking Colin Campbell

COLUMN

Benny Nemerofsky Ramsay exhibition to open at the President’s Cottage

NEMEROFSKY’S REIMAGINING OF CAMPBELL’S WORK WAS PROJECTED ON A SCREEN OPPOSITE ITS FOREBEAR. EVAN FURNESS/ARGOSY room. A mirror held by the artist videos is essential to the work as you EVAN FURNESS in this version dangled beside the begin to notice that Campbell’s voice Reporter projection, spinning while attached to blends with, and soon overtakes, a disco ball rotator. On the wall, a list Nemerofsky’s.

This past weekend I drove down of the statements made in the work Nemerofsky’s work is performative to Charlottetown, PEI to see an were displayed in vinyl lettering. and frequently uses appropriated text exhibition that will open Friday Unique to and audio which on campus. It was part of Flotilla, a Charlottetown’s often come from conference for artist-run centres from iteration of pop songs or across Canada. The work exhibited the exhibition historical writing. was a project by Edinburgh-based was a floral In his own words, artist Benny Nemerofsky Ramsay, arrangement you will find in and was shown in an empty storefront

by Nemerofsky his work “[...] downtown. perched on a megaphones, Colin is my real name is an Fawcett stove m i r r o r s , exhibition co-organized by Struts made at the naked men, Gallery & Faucet Media Arts Centre old foundry sign language, and the Owens Art Gallery. The work in Sackville. subtitles, and is a reimagining and recalling of The latter was the voices of True/False, a piece by pivotal video discovered in the exhibition space, birds, boy sopranos, contraltos, artist and former Mt. A professor which had been a restaurant until countertenors and sirens.” A personal Colin Campbell.

Nemerofsky’s 2014. favourite of mine is his video piece I version of the work was filmed at the In Campbell’s original video, the Am a Boy Band where the artist sings President’s Cottage which will be the artist makes a series of increasingly a Victorian era madrigal (a song venue for this exhibition. personal declarations, responding written for many voices) as if he is When I walked into the empty in turn with the words “true” and four members of a boy band. storefront in Charlottetown, I was “false.” Nemerofsky’s video plays out If all or any of the elements from greeted by Campbell’s original video in a similar style. The artist repeats Nemerofsky’s work interest you, from 1972. It was playing on an the same questions as Campbell Colin is my real name opens this old CRT television with two pairs with minor differences. Instead of Friday at 7 p.m. at the President’s of headphones hanging below it. a white background, Nemerofsky Cottage. The exhibition will be open Nemerofsky’s reimagining of this sits beside an empty chair in front to the public 2 – 5 p.m. every Tuesday work was projected on a screen of a bay window in the President’s to Friday until Oct. 27. suspended on the other side of the Cottage. The pairing of the two

“NEMEROFSKY’S WORK IS PERFORMATIVE AND FREQUENTLY USES

APPROPRIATED TEXT ...

FROM POP SONGS OR

HISTORICAL WRITING.”

Corrections:

In last week’s article, “Mt. A hosts Mysterious Barricades concert,” a photo of Joel Cormier playing the marimba was incorrectly captioned as David Rogosin playing hte vibraphone. Also, the page 2 photo of Shine Day students was incorrectly attributed. The attribution belongs to staff photographer Gillian Hill.

The Argosy apologizes for these, and any other errors.

7 MONDAYS & JOYPUKE Journal Launch/Open Mic Reading In celebration of two student-published and edited literary journals, 7 Mondays and Joypuke III

THURSDAY, SEPT. 28 | 7 P.M. | THUNDER & LIGHTNING Hosted by 7 Mondays and the Underbridge Press

TINA OH Columnist In one month, we witnessed two Category 5 Hurricanes (Irma and Maria) rip through the Caribbean.

Over the course of half a day, the world watched Hurricane Maria advance from a Category 1 to Category 5, making it one of the fastest deepening hurricanes since we began monitoring weather on satellite. For the first time in three centuries, the island of Barbuda stands empty after weather damage so intense that the entire island’s population was forced to evacuate. As our governments were green-lighting megaprojects like Kinder Morgan and Pacific NorthWest-LNG, 16 million people were salvaging their belongings from their flooded homes in Southeast Asia after the record-breaking monsoon season this summer. If this hot new weather is to become the new global standard, we must ask: who will survive?

As western countries emit far more greenhouse gases per capita than any other nation in the world, the environmental consequences are burdening the world’s poorest, most vulnerable and marginalized peoples and countries. We must recognize that our lavish and comfortable lifestyles directly contribute to the displacement of, primarily, people of color, women, Indigenous peoples and young peoples.

Environmental racism in Canada is why over 50 First Nations communities lack access to clean water. It is also why the historic black community of Africville, NS, became a place for the City of

Halifax to dump human feces and build an infectious disease hospital and prison in the 19th century. In the late 1960s, the City of Halifax evicted the people of Africville and bulldozed the community. More recently, south of the border, rubber bullets were aimed towards the Sioux Tribe for peaceful protest against a pipeline that was rerouted through sacred Indigenous land and waters.

The original proposal for the North Dakota Access Pipeline ran through the white affluent town of Bismarck, until its predominantly white population refused to jeopardize their own water source. Environmental injustice has pushed what is intolerable for white communities onto the shoulders of communities of colour. Environmental injustice is state-sanctioned segregation.

Our hot new world means the disproportionate deaths of black, brown, and poor bodies. While climate change may not care about borders, the tools for adaptation, mitigation and financing are controlled by the hands of white supremacy and the institutions that uphold its evils. The fight for survival is desperate, and with it comes generations of trauma.

In realizing the real human costs to climate change, we must realize that they are irreversible and that justice is the only way forward. There is no time to argue about balance when the scales have been tipped in favour of white lives for centuries. We deserve water on these flames, not fuel. We deserve justice for these communities, not inaction and silence. We deserve to live instead of struggling to survive.

We deserve to have more than just our heads above the water.

EDITOR: ALLISON MACNEILL| SEPTEMBER 28, 2017 | ARGOSY@MTA.CA

ADMINISTRATION

OPINIONS 13

Threats to anthropology dept. represent larger academic shortcomings at Mt. A

SASKIA VAN WALSUM Contributor Studying anthropology at Mount Allison, I have learned that many questions have the same answer: “It’s complicated, and it’s changing.”

That’s why, when I heard about the potential closure of the anthropology department, my response was complicated. And changing.

Anthropology has a past plagued by colonialism. At its worst, it is exploitative and even

exterminatory. However, at their best, anthropologists are ally-researchers, active listeners in the most animated sense. They use their discipline as a tool to clear space in academia for people who are too often dismissed.

They insist that everybody else listen, too. At Mt. A, I have been lucky enough to learn from the best sort of anthropologists.

Recently, the acting head of the anthropology department, Prof.

Kelly Spurles, wrote a statement to the Mt. A faculty proposing that the department be closed. She felt that its resources would be better used to hire Indigenous professors in other fields. Ironically, I believe that her proposal was made in the best spirit of anthropology.

The actions of the university administration are another matter entirely. I was away on exchange when some of these major decisions were happening. The University sent me exactly three emails on

the subject, most of which were carelessly vague. This month, another “open” discussion on the future of the department was based on documents which were not provided to the students until after the meeting was over. The time and date of the meeting were not announced until the morning of the day it happened.

In practice, this meant that the information reached me and many other anthropology students just an hour before it started. I was lucky to be able to attend a meeting on the closure of my own degree program.

It is possible that these were accidental communication breakdowns. It is also possible that they were intentional, especially given the amount of student resistance to the closure of the women and gender studies department a couple years ago.

So where does that leave us? I agree with Prof. Spurles that ideally Indigenous scholars would be

respected everywhere in academia and would not be confined to Indigenous studies or anthropology. But given past experience, I also do not trust our current school administration to follow through on vague promises to improve Indigenous representation on campus without a dedicated program and without active student advocacy.

I will be graduating this year, but I am sure that this debate will outlast my time at Mt. A. There is time for student voices to be heard. I won’t pretend to have a simple answer, and I will not ask you to stand up for anthropology. Although the idea that the department may close pains me, I understand that these things are complicated, they change and maybe we don’t need more anthropologists.

I honestly don’t know.

But I do know that the world needs more teachers and lawmakers who recognize the truth of Indigenous knowledge. The world needs more

researchers who think in terms of what they can offer communities, instead of what communities can offer them. The world needs more doctors and law enforcement officers who understand the pervasive power of intergenerational trauma and racism. The world needs more people who understand what active listening really means. If anthropology is allowed to be defunded, and if promises to hire Indigenous professors are forgotten, then Mt. A, and by extension every student at Mt. A, will be left with an education that is incomplete, a set of tools that is missing an essential component.

This is a chance to decide what happens next, to make sure that the changes we make are good ones.

Don’t be complacent, don’t be locked out and don’t allow yourself to be bypassed in this debate.

The University needs to be held accountable and it needs to know that we care.

Call for the discussion corner: Tweet us your opinions relating to the potential cut to the anthropology department @The_Argosy, or contact Allison MacNeill to appear in next week’s paper.

EDUCATION

The perks of running a victory lap

Extra time at university can be a period of growth and self discovery

ALANNA STEWART Contributor As someone who graduated high school in 2012, it feels like I’ve been in university forever. It’s not pleasant to watch old classmates delve into real life things – nursing jobs, pharmacy school, starting their own engineering businesses, getting accepted into Harvard Law and so on – while I continue to plug away at a comparably lame bachelor’s degree.

Starting out so hopeful, with a full tuition scholarship and a year’s worth of International Baccalaureate credits, I should have been able, in theory, to complete my degree within three years with no debt (rather than in six with student loans). But two drop outs, five program changes and two universities later … and I might actually graduate this spring!

While it has been a journey to get here, I know I’m not alone in this alternative undergraduate path. The term “victory lap” refers to taking

an extra year (or years) to complete one’s degree, rather than following the traditional four-year route.

Taking a victory lap often has a negative connotation, as it may imply that the student is less studious than their peers. However, many fifth- and upper-year students are completing honours degrees, working jobs while studying to pay for their degree, or wisely acknowledging their limits with heavy course loads.

Although money and time are limiting factors in the pursuit of education, remember that there are perks to running a victory lap if you find yourself in a position to need one.

First of all, how many high school graduates actually have a sweet clue of what they’d like to do with their lives?

It takes time to figure this out. High school doesn’t expose us to all of the possibilities, and often students feel pressure to go straight to university afterward. Extra time provides you with an opportunity to learn what field truly interests you, and to gauge if this field offers the type of learning that you’re seeking.

Second, university is not an easy game to play. It takes time to figure out taking responsibility for yourself, living away from what you’ve been used to and adapting to such a fastpaced academic culture. Allowing yourself more time to immerse yourself into university is ideal.

Third, victory laps allow for life

VICTORY LAPS ARE NOT UNCOMMON AND CAN BE BENEFICIAL. SYLVAN HAMBURGER/ARGOSY to happen. Most university students are at a delicate age of self-discovery, learning how to manage their mental health in a new environment and embracing an incredible stage of change in their lives. Sometimes a break from education may offer much more meaningful life experiences

than university can.

University is a powerful journey that is worth extending. Each year builds onto the creation of your own personal empire, which includes the residence you live in, the clubs you are part of, the sports you engage in and the peers and professors you connect

with. An extra year may bring about opportunities to take on leadership roles that you are passionate about, or even to take courses that actually interest you! Indeed, there is a reason we call them victory laps.

14

SEPTEMBER 28, 2017 | ARGOSY@MTA.CA

THE ARGOSY w w w. s i n c e 1 8 7 2 . c a

Independent Student Newspaper of Mount Allison University Thursday, September 28, 2017 volume 147, issue 3

REPRODUCTIVE JUSTICE

In support of reproductive freedom

Those who choose to have an abortion deserve our trust and respect

Circulation 1,000 Since 1872

on Unceded Mi’kmaq Land 62 York Street W. McCain Student Centre Mount Allison University Sackville, New Brunswick

506.540.0231

E4L 1H3

Email argosy@mta.ca

THE ARGOSY is published by Argosy Publications, Inc., a student run, autonomous, apolitical not-for-profit organization operated in accordance with the province of New Brunswick.

THE ARGOSY is a member of the Canadian University Press, a national co-operative of student newspapers.

ISSN 0837-1024

The Underbridge Press is a student-run publishing organization at Mount Allison University.

EDITORIAL staff EDITORS-IN-CHIEF | Adrian Kiva, Mirelle Naud MANAGING EDITOR | Matt Gallant NEWS EDITORS | Emma Bush, Maia Herriot ARTS & CULTURE EDITORS | Alix Main OPINIONS EDITOR | Allison MacNeill HUMOUR EDITOR | Carly Penrose COPY EDITOR | Charlotte Savage

PRODUCTION staff PRODUCTION MANAGER | Marina Mavridis PHOTO EDITOR | Savannah Harris PHOTOGRAPHERS | Gillian Hill, Chaoyi Liang ILLUSTRATION EDITOR | Sylvan Hamburger ILLUSTRATORS | Sarah Noonan, Louis Sobol

SOPHIE BETTS Contributor As I realized that the small pro-choice rally I was planning on attending in Dieppe was quickly approaching, I decided to check in with myself: What does it mean to be pro-choice?

Why am I willing to bear a sign that simultaneously proclaims my feminism and puts a target on my back? Will attending the event be worth the scrutiny from bystanders that I may have to experience?

The answer is yes and it will always be yes.

The possible judgement I may face on the day of the rally is just a microscopic portion of what those who have had abortions must deal with. Day after day, they endure ignorant comments, hateful views

and even death threats, simply because at one point they were pregnant and did not want to be anymore. Undereducated dudebros view them as unruly. Conservative men in positions of power have deemed them a burden. Even other women have turned their backs on their friends in need.

I wish it was more widely accepted that people who have had abortions are people – people who are intelligent and determined and selfsufficient. If women were respected and trusted, the opinion that they are capable of making decisions that solely affect their own lives would not be viewed as radical. The idea that a woman should be forced to carry and give birth to a baby against her will, however, is a radical and violent stance that needs to be extinguished.

I am pro-choice because I’ve had enough of men in power governing women’s bodies. If a person does not have the reproductive organs needed to become pregnant, then it is not up to them to lament the ethics of pregnancy and choice (and even if they do, they still shouldn’t try to manage others’ bodies). In a society where those who are making laws to restrain certain bodies are

MT. A STUDENTS ATTENDING A PRO-CHOICE RALLY LAST YEAR. CAROLINE KOVESI/ SUBMITTED primarily men, it is discriminatory to limit the freedom of those who are underrepresented.

I am pro-choice because a pregnancy should not be obligatory.

Denying someone of their right to choose is a violent attempt to keep them in their place. There are endless reasons as to why someone may not want to carry a pregnancy to term, and all of them are valid and acceptable. I am pro-choice for the woman who was raped by someone

she cared about; for the trans man who isn’t ready to have children; for the person who simply has better things to do. These reasons, however, should not matter. I want to live in a society that supports those who have abortions and works to dismantle the systems of oppression built to keep women in check.

I choose to stand with those who have had abortions today and always.

You are more than welcome to join me.

VIDEOGRAPHER | Louis Sobol VIDEOGRAPHY PRODUCER | Lily Falk ONLINE EDITOR | Marina Mavridis

COLUMN

REPORTING staff NEWS REPORTERS | Amelia Fleming, Lily Falk, Will Pelletier ARTS & CULTURE REPORTERS | Max Chapman, Evan Furness, Jena McLean SPORTS REPORTER | Keifer Bell

OPERATIONS staff BUSINESS MANAGER | Jill MacIntyre DISTRIBUTION MANAGERS | Matt Fyfe, Shannon Power

CONTRIBUTORS Will Balser, Sophie Betts, Maria Dime, Tina Oh, Corinna Paumier, the Rev. John C. Perkin, Maggie Pitman, Nick Ryan, Derek

THE REV. JOHN C. PERKIN Columnist

Sharp, Alanna Stewart, Saskia van Walsum, Trill Waves COVER | Savannah Harris

PUBLICATION board Leslie Kern, Owen Griffiths

DISCLAIMERS & COPYRIGHT The Argosy is the official independent student journal of news, opinion and the arts, written, edited and funded by the students of Mount Allison University in Sackville, New Brunswick. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily represent those of the Argosy’s staff or its Board of Directors. The Argosy is published weekly throughout the academic year by Argosy Publications Inc. Student contributions in the form of letters, articles, photography, graphic designs and comics are welcome. The Argosy reserves the right to edit or refuse all materials deemed sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic or otherwise unfit for print, as determined by the Editors in Chief. Articles or other contributions can be sent to argosy@mta.ca or directly to a section editor. The Argosy will print unsolicited materials at its own discretion. Letters to the editor must be signed, though names may be withheld at the sender’s request and at the Argosy’s discretion. Anonymous letters will not be printed.

Comments , concerns or complaints about the Argosy’s content or operations should be first sent to the Editors in Chief at the address above. If the Editors in Chief are unable to resolve a complaint, it may be taken to the Argosy Publications, Inc. Board of Directors. The chairs of the Board of Directors can be reached at the address above.

All materials appearing in the Argosy bear the copyright of Argosy Publications, Inc. Material cannot be reprinted without the consent of the Editors in Chief.

Life, said Forrest Gump famously, is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get. That is only one metaphor of hundreds that attempt to reduce the total experience of life to a single metaphor. In his signature 1980s hit, Tom Cochrane famously characterized life as a highway. Life, indeed, is like a highway, or at the very least a journey, and this metaphor is repeated over and over through songs and literature.

And if life is a journey, it seems to stretch endlessly before us as we look ahead from young adulthood, but in retrospect seems all too short.

In the ancient epic poem The Odyssey, the hero Odysseus returns home after the Trojan Wars. For this warrior king, the journey home is also a journey into his own heart and soul. Perhaps The Odyssey should be required reading for all university students, especially for those who anticipate graduating and returning home. On one level, it tells a straightforward tale of the hero, changed and transformed through his experiences, challenges, and temptations; he navigates his way across the Aegean Sea and into the

Embracing the journey of life and its challenges turmoil of his home situation, and he struggles to settle back into his own community as a changed person.

On a deeper level, the story is every person’s story, journeying through life, wanting to return to things the way they used to be, but facing the reality of change and challenge. In many ways, the story should resonate even more fully with those young adults who leave home to attend university, who are transformed by new ideas and new ways of thinking and new ways of seeing, and who then struggle to settle into old roles among those who have not experienced what they have.

Whether we are Christian, or belong to another religion, or

none, the metaphor of journey and challenge is apt; the challenges are real, the temptations are also real.

The task, then, is to discover where the journey leads, where home is, and what we want from our passage. It is not coincidence that the metaphor of journey runs deeply through the Christian faith as a way of understanding faith, and life. The sea often appears in scripture as a force that threatens the journey: Jonah is thrown overboard, to be swallowed by a large fish; Peter sinks beneath the waves when he tries to walk on water; the disciples are afraid for their lives when the storm threatens their boat.

Life cannot really be reduced to any metaphor, journey included.

That said, I will stick to the image of journey, across the darkling seas filled with challenges that change and stir us, and give us opportunity to become who we would be. For me, whenever I face challenge or difficulty, I echo the last lines of the hymn set to an old English folk tune, reminding me that I do not journey alone, and that I can find strength to journey on: Great pilot of my onward way, you will not let me drift.

I feel the winds of God today, today my sail I lift.

It’s the journey that I long for, as I look out onto the unknown seas, through stained glass.

HUMOUR 15

EDITOR: CARLY PENROSE | SEPTEMBER 28, 2017 | ARGOSY@MTA.CA

CROSSWORD 1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

12

15

18

21

20

22

23

31

25

28

30

32

33

34

39

40

44

45

49

53

24

27

29

54

55

62

56

50

35

41

36

46

51

37

42

38

43

47

48

52

57

58

63

66

11

16

19

26

10

13

14

17

9

64

59

60

65

67

68

61

18. A woman’s (and school’s)

44. The first course at a restaurant

name

(abbr.) or Candy Crush and Tin-

19. You might find people who do

der, for example

this in Switzerland

45. Mascot of Mt. A homecoming

22. A substance that might be a

opponents

sign of an infection

47. Acid

23. The alter ego of one of the

49. Unit of land

restaurants in Sackville

50. When tripled, it makes a resi-

24. School that played Mt. A at

dence cheer

homecoming

51. To remove from danger

25. Booming

53. Baking measurement

26. A very Canadian flavour

54. Exclamation when someone

28. Fridays, Saturdays and Sun-

drops something

days

56. University of Toronto Missis-

30. There are 360 in an hour

sauga (abbr.)

(abbr.)

57. To joke around

32. Always stay one step ____

59. To give weapons

34. Where you need to get to score

60. Matrix character

a touchdown

61. Spongebob Squarepants Chan-

35. Come in, we’re ____

nel (Canada)

37. Person who fought in a war (abbr.)

ACROSS

40. A slang term for mild, biting

DOWN

38. One of the five senses lets you

1. The big game played on Home-

cold

1. A brotherhood of male college

do this

coming weekend

43. To barely make, (with “out”)

students

41. What you get for winning

6. The place where you will wait

44. A word to end a prayer

2. As if!

42. Yik

8. You hear with this

46. Not fake

3. The oldest and most widely

12. Acorns come from this

48. You hit a ball off of this

consumed alcoholic drink in the

13. “Let’s crack open a ______”

50. Give you the ins and the ____

world

14. Poisonous to doctors

52. Shaggy’s catchphrase

4. A popsicle is also known as an

15. “Go Team!”

53. Police officer

ice ____ in Britain

16. These are fish often found in

55. THE bar on Bridge Street

5. The musical genre of No

ponds at malls

58. Yankee Doodle was this

Doubt or Sublime

17. Puke and ______

62. Package delivery service

6. The interior design choices in

20. Formalize “daddy”

63. Prefix meaning three

a home

21. “Give me ____ de mama

64. A place where an event takes

7. Whatever

when the morning come”

place

8. Cousin to a deer

23. On Bridge Street, these are

65. “Oh give it a ____”

9. According to Shakespeare,

represented with ducks

66. Ma’s partner

people make much of it about

26. This place

67. Saturday was _____ for Mt. A

nothing

27. This can be done with Yu-Gi-

football players

10.Taking performance-enhanc-

Oh cards or swords

68. The dandiest way to arrive at

ing drugs may result in this type

29. TV show, Rizzoli and ____

an event

of rage

31. To rub out of existence

11. Drop in the mail

33. Willing and _____

13. Group of people watching an

36. New record store downtown

event

39. Santa Claus incorporated

Get wrecked, Titanic RHONDA ELBERT Movie Reviewer

TITANIC SANK. There. Movie over.

“polarizing” or “mean” or “com-

I saved you three hours and a whole

pletely unreasonable.”

lot of shots of people shivering. I

Third, the characters were boring

P A Y H Z Y O U A R EHE RE M N M AK E M T A H OM E S W F S H IN E R A MA A E L L H T U L L O H M F F L O N A N U O S M I I S W I MA T E D T I M E O F A R R I V A L P V S I L YD A Y S ACK V E G A S R L A NDI L D Y TOU C H D O W N D BOI L S EVE X INO X N

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS

P L A G A U T U M E E S T A

F A M I L

C O R N E Q U

argument because, frankly, it’s

summary,

when

I

watched Titanic, let’s just say I was

I don’t care if they froze or not.

rooting for the Iceberg. Half a star.

don’t see the point in watching a

and I bet Jack couldn’t even draw

I will say, though, the one bright

movie with such an obvious ending.

like a French girl. Also, what is up

spot of the movie was Billy Zane’s

Secondly, that king of the world

with that reference? Since when can

character, Caledon Hockley. He

umn will be the love story between

thing? I’ve tried it, turns out you

all French girls draw? I don’t appre-

was so normal and justified in ev-

Rose and Jack that everyone thinks is

can’t do it alone, which pretty

ciate the generalization, Titanic.

erything he did. Why couldn’t the

so great, and let me just say, it’s a total

much disqualifies me from do-

I’m not going to spend time on the

movie have been about him in-

disaster. Let’s start with the obvious:

ing most things, because for some

“there was enough room on the piece

stead of the two complaining lov-

EVERYONE

unknown reason people find me

of wood for both of them”

ers who can’t even float properly?

THE

in

an overdone complaint, and also,

The first movie I review in this col-

KNOWS

Anyway,

R E U N G I O N

ARTIST’S RENDERING

16 HUMOUR

Stung by school spirit:

EDITOR: CARLY PENROSE | SEPTEMBER 28, 2017 | ARGOSY@MTA.CA

Proof the Illuminati are on Campus #4 Will SHOCK You

Homecoming in the Hospital KEIFER BELL Contributor

Welcome

my depth perception isn’t exactly on, so let’s call it

to the Argosy’s newest

eight. Good play, Mounties.

column, where we’ll be informing

2:15 p.m.

you of the real on-goings at Mount Allison

I’m in the Pond: my fingers and toes go numb, my

and the pancake-like disc the world actually is.

throat starts to close, I start throwing up. Turns

Due to suspicious activity, we begin a week later than

out I’m severely allergic to hornets. Anaphylactic

expected. But, worry not, we still have time to spread the truth.

shock, at what is possibly the largest attended

We did have an article written, but the real question is: why wasn’t it

event of the year. I am carried out to an ambulance

published? What secrets does Mount Allison have to hide? Could it involve a SECRET SOCIETY, perhaps?! There are so many questions, and we, dear readers, have your answers.Across campus, we’ve noticed many irregularities that could point to an

where fans cheer for me and pat me on the back, assuming that I was too drunk to be there. Thanks

Illuminati presence right here in Sackville, New Brunswick. And being the intrepid investigators

for showing your Mountie pride, everyone.

2:22 p.m.

I wake up in the ambulance with a rush of excite-

that we are, we’ve compiled this convenient list: 1.

Commencement: Everyone remembers their Orientation Week (hopefully), but has anyone asked why we do commencement? The colorful robes and otherwise unknown alma mater are obviously part of a ceremonial ritual practiced by an

ment as the adrenaline shots from the paramedics KEIFER BELL/ARGOSY 8:00 a.m.

Just like Christmas morning, I wake up ready to go. Have a couple drinks, march on over to the game, watch our Mounties take on the Huskies and celebrate the night away. That’s the plan.

9:33 a.m.

My backyard, which is hosting a pre-game party, has been taken over far earlier than expected. This was my fault, and I take full responsibility. I should have never made the party public on Facebook, because thousands of uninvited guests flew in: thousands of hornets.

9:49 a.m.

“I kill, you drink,” a drinking game, is invented at 10 a.m. Wielding a battery-operated death machine of a flyswatter, if I kill a hornet, the party erupts in cheers and takes a drink of their lukewarm Moose Light. They’re dropping like flies.

1:54 p.m.

I killed hundreds of these uninvited guests and never got stung once.

2:02 p.m.

He’s clearly out executing the Illuminati’s plans for world domination, and going into “retirement” to pursue it

the whole event on snapchat, from the ambulance to the hospital.

full time (sorry CBC, but you two had a good run).

2.

Location, location, location: Unless you’re a GIS minor, you’ve probably never really thought about the

2:31 p.m.

geography of Sackville. And that’s exactly what they want. If you were going to start up a New World Order,

I meet my nurse, Leslie, who supplies me with a

what better place to set up shop than a university with a quickly growing aviation program, so you can recruit

phone charger, some 3/10 hospital mac and cheese

fighter pilots or chemtrail dusters? Also, there’s ample room in the nearby swamp for Submergible Headquar-

and puts up with… well, my bullshit, to say the

ters Running Electricity Kinematic Systems (a.k.a. SHREKS) which has the ability to project force-fields and

least. I invite her to the after party on 40 King

thoroughly brainwash oncomers.

Street. She never did show up… but I did.

3.

The secrets of Swan Pond: The next most important semi-aquatic body in town has its own secrets. The only

7:27 p.m.

people telling us it’s contaminated are the profs and facilities management, both of whom work for the Uni-

Back from the dead, I sign a hospital release form

versity. The truth is we can’t go in the pond because it houses the secret meeting spot of our campus Illuminati

against the medical advice of the doctor who “strongly recommends I stay until at least 10 p.m.”

4.

under its murky waters, in a chamber accessible only by tunnels.

The Allisonian “A”: Our school’s widespread icon is nothing more than propaganda for the New World Order

I’ve got a two-four of Alpine at home that I’ve

(NWO). If you look at the Allisonian “A,” all you’ll have to do is move things around and BAM! You have a

hardly put a dent in. Get me out of here.

triangle. You know who’s a really big fan of triangles? That’s right, the Illuminati. As if you needed more proof,

9:38 p.m.

the Illuminati website also features garnet and gold formatting. Don’t believe us? Check for yourself: https://

I show up to 40 King with an eye and a half at the

www.illuminatiofficial.org/

peak of the party and celebrate the night away.

Party on! Happy homecoming folks!

5.

Don’t underestimate Sackville: Just because Sackville seems to be a quaint university town with too many pizza shops (when all you need is Snack Shop), that doesn’t mean there isn’t a secret underground society right under our noses. In fact, our neighbour, UNB, hosts the archives of the Flat Earth Society of Canada. There’s no

The above story is based on true events. Dedicated sports and health journalist Keifer Bell miraculously not only survived a hornet attack, but also completed his assignment on time (pg. 8).

“I’m not scared of hornets, they don’t bother me,” I proudly boast to my friends.

2:05 p.m.

I arrive at the game.

2:06pm A hornet stings me on my left eye as I wait in line to get in. I instantly swell up and head to the Pond for ice. I walk to the stands with an ice pack over my eye, laughing off this unfortunate event.

2:09 p.m.

Next thing I know, my neck feels like it’s on fire and I can’t stop itching. I swell up in hives, and my friends tell me, “You need to go to the hospital.”

2:11 p.m.

I remember Chris Reid running an HB draw for approximately six to eight yards. With one eye,

with an even bigger chair for the head of the secret body, our own Peter Mansbridge. Why do you think he’s never here?

the anaphylactic shock. I’m back, baby! I record

Before we know it the clock is approaching 2 p.m., and we all march toward the field. I’m so proud;

old and powerful society. And the gargantuan wooden chairs? A matching set for those at the highest echelons of power,

kick in. Apparently I temporary blacked out from

KEIFER BELL/ARGOSY

reason that an equally ancient and intellectual society couldn’t exist here.

Remember, sheeple, the truth is out there.

Trill’s Tips

CONTRIBUTORS: “FLAT FORK” AND “SQUARE SPOON” Anyway,

here surviving

are

my

tips

100 per cent. Profs say it will give

midterms:

a zero because they’re trying to

TRILL WAVES Contributor

for

Tip 1: Don’t study. If you want to

hide this life hack. Even if they

What up? Trill Waves comin’ back at

have a sick story about how you aced

weren’t lying to you, if the ma-

ya with some fresh new tips. In this

the midterm without studying or

chine can’t read your answer, then

installment, I’m gonna tell you how to

even going to class, this is the best

how can it mark it? Ever thought of

survive your first round of midterms.

way to do it. Establish yourself as

that? Boom. I just beat the system.

Before we begin, a side note: I woke

an “absolute fucking legend” while

Tip

up this morning (Sunday the 24th)

you’re at it by taking a shot of liquid

down.

severely hungover after the insanity

courage before putting pen to scant-

there’s no building to take it in.

that was homecoming. When I came

ron, which brings me to my next tip.

Alright, I usually try to make some

to, I realised I had not yet created a

Tip 2: Always use a pen. Profs will

more tips, but I am far too hun-

fresh new set of tips for my adoring

go on and on about how the scant-

gover to continue, so this is ya boy

fans. I’m currently still severely hun-

ron machine won’t read the pen and

Trill signing off. Send your ques-

gover while writing this, and, quite

you’ll get a zero. This is a MYTH!

tions to Trilliam Waves on Face-

possibly, still a little bit intoxicated.

In actuality, using pen on a scan-

book and I might just give you

tron will automatically give you

some tips to help you out. Peace.

3:

Burn

Can’t

take

the the

building test

if