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VOL.31, NO.2
Making peace through mediation PHOTO COURTESY OF CAROLYN PARR
By Barbara Ruben Older adults and their grown children confront a multitude of thorny issues when making decisions that affect the whole family — from how to divide up an estate among competitive siblings, to when it’s time to accept help at home, stop driving or move to assisted living. Some of these matters fester and never get resolved, others drag on for years (perhaps even through the court system), while others can lead to a lifetime of resentment or split up families. Carolyn Miller Parr and Sig Cohen say there’s a better solution. They have been helping families resolve conflicts for nearly 20 years through mediation — a process in which everyone sits down to hash out issues while a neutral third party guides the conversation. “I saw how destructive trials and lawsuits could be, and I wanted to look for a better way for people to resolve their disputes,” said Parr, who spent 16 years as a judge with the D.C. Superior Court before retiring and taking up mediation. Cohen had a career in the foreign service, with assignments in Bangladesh, India, Germany and the UK. After retiring, he did mediation at the D.C. Superior Court, helping train Parr. Together they have written a book, published last month, called Love’s Way: Living Peacefully with Your Family as Your Parents Age. It’s a compilation of what they’ve learned over the years. Both are now 81 and have personal experience with many of the disputes they have helped settle. Parr’s parents lived with her when they were in their late 80s, and she cared for her husband, who died of dementia. Cohen helped care for his mother long
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L E I S U R E & T R AV E L
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ARTS & STYLE
Sig Cohen and Carolyn Miller Parr have collaborated on a new book that incorporates what they’ve learned from two decades of mediating family disputes. The book, Love’s Way: Living Peacefully with Your Family as Your Parents Age, focuses on such issues as inheritance, caregiving and aging in place.
distance in Ohio, astounded that her driver’s license was renewed at age 94, despite failing eyesight. Cohen lives on Capitol Hill in the District of Columbia with his wife, and Parr lives in Annapolis, Md. with her second husband, whom she married just a year and a half ago.
While they no longer have an office where they do joint mediations, they continue to mediate individually at neutral locations, and maintain a blog on their Tough Conversations website. (toughconversations.net) See MEDIATORS, page 34
Julia Roberts on acting at 50+; plus, new seriocomedy at Studio shines light on hypocrisy, mature authors share their wisdom, and Bob Levey’s column page 46 TECHNOLOGY 4 k Pros and cons of smart homes FITNESS & HEALTH 9 k Are you aging too fast? k Simple supermarket shortcuts SPOTLIGHT ON AGING k Newsletter for D.C. seniors
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