The Howard County
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F O C U S
VOL.14, NO.2
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More than 30,000 readers throughout Howard County
Finding joy again after a loss
5 0 FEBRUARY 2024
I N S I D E …
PHOTO COURTESY OF REBECCA GREGORY
By Glenda C. Booth Rebecca Gregory fell in love with ballroom dancing after she became a widow. It took her four years after her husband’s death to find a passion, but she’s glad she did. “I started the next chapter,” she said, and it has been “very therapeutic.” Gregory’s advice to others who have lost a partner: “Don’t get stuck. Try things you’ve never tried before that maybe you did not have the courage to try…It’s okay to still find joy even while grieving. It does not have to be one or the other.” Every marriage ends one way or another. “Among those 75 years or older who had ever married, 58% of women and 28% of men had experienced the death of a spouse in their lifetime,” reports the U.S. Census Bureau. In fact, there were 3.7 million widowed men and 11.48 million widowed women in the country in 2022, according to the datagathering platform Statista. Widowed women outnumber widowed men because women, on average, live longer than men.
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Coping with loss Losing a spouse can take a lasting psychological and physical toll on men and women alike. “At some point, accept what happened so you can start to heal,” counsels Gregory, a resident of Howard County, Maryland. “If you don’t accept it, you’ll stay stuck. And don’t feel guilty about moving forward.” Getting used to being a single again can be a challenge — from keeping the car running, to cooking for one, to having a social life. At first, it can feel like an emotional tsunami. “Grief is a whole-body experience,” said Elena Keller, who lost her spouse. She is now executive director of Widow Care, a nonprofit based in Rockville, Maryland.
Rebecca Gregory, a Howard County resident, waltzes with her teacher, Slava Sergiev, at the Promenade Dance Studio in Windsor Mill. Gregory took up ballroom dancing after the death of her husband. “It’s okay to still find joy even while grieving,” she said.
“There’s a reason why you are simply fatigued all the time. You’re also easily confused and forgetful; it’s called ‘widow’s fog.’ “Your brain is trying to comprehend something that doesn’t make sense. Your entire body is working very hard just so you can survive another day,” Keller said. Some find it hard to concentrate or read, for example. Others lose their appetite or have trouble sleeping.
Support groups are helpful Fortunately, there are many resources for widowed people, from counselors to support groups to online meetings to religious institutions. Talking about your symptoms with others who are grieving can help. Widow Care leads free support groups on Zoom,
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