January 2015 | Baltimore Beacon

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Being gay and gray in Baltimore

Benefits of marriage While LaGrant and Richardson say their partnership has always been strong, they feel being married gives it a deeper dimension. “There’s something about being recognized as a married couple — not just by our family and friends, but by the public and by the law — that is so powerful,” said Richardson who, like LaGrant, is a realtor. “I am recognized as an individual who has chosen to be with this person, who just happens to be a woman,” she added.

JANUARY 2015

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PHOTO COURTESY OF MARK VOLKER

By Carol Sorgen Wendy LaGrant and Megan Richardson met through mutual friends in 2000. They became jogging partners, then romantic partners, and in 2009, while on a visit to a friend in Provincetown, Mass., the couple spontaneously decided to marry. “It took a lot of logistics [to pull off a spur of the moment wedding], but it was a lot of fun,” said LaGrant, 59. The couple now lives in Franklintown. Getting married was not something the two had spent much time thinking about. “For so long, it was so out of reach that we didn’t really talk about it,” Richardson said. “We went about our lives and we made plans... just not marriage plans.” But after Massachusetts legalized samesex marriage in 2004, there were “murmurings,” said LaGrant, that couples who married in a state where such unions were legal would be recognized as married in Maryland. (As of the election of November 2012, Maryland became one of the now 35 states that have legalized same-sex marriage, as has the District of Columbia.) According to the Pew Research Center, more than 70,000 same-sex couples have married in the United States. And in states that offer some form of legal recognition, 43 percent of same-sex couples are currently in a legally recognized relationship, according to a 2011 study by the Williams Institute. No one knows just how many LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender) seniors live in Maryland, but according to the Institute for Multigenerational Health at the University of Washington, some 2 million Americans 50 or older identify as LGBT, with that number expected to double by 2030.

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Mark and Russ Volker got married just days after same-sex marriage became legal in Maryland on Jan. 1, 2013, celebrating with 65 friends and relatives. Partners who marry can now access more than 1,000 federal benefits with their spouse, including Social Security.

Before they were married, the couple took steps to protect each other as best they could when it came to health directives, their assets, etc. But they always felt that having their decisions respected and honored might have more to do with whom they “ran into” in a legal or medical situation than what steps they had put in place to take care of each other. Following the legalization of marriage, “although there is still work to be done to make sure all legally married older samesex couples will be entitled to the same benefits, many will, for the first time, be able to access the more than 1,100 federal benefits — from Social Security to the Family and Medical Leave Act — that can

help improve their health and economic well-being,” said Aaron Tax, director of federal government relations for the national nonprofit group SAGE (Services and Advocacy for Gay Elders). While LaGrant and Richardson had learned to live with the fear of not being able to provide for each other in all the ways they wanted to, “it’s a huge relief that we don’t have to worry about that anymore. It’s incredibly empowering.”

A second marriage for some Like LaGrant and Richardson, Mark and Russ Volker — who exercise their right to use the same last name — didn’t originally See GAY AND GRAY, page 12

L E I S U R E & T R AV E L

Elvis’s legacy, blues music, marching ducks and more make Memphis memorable page 19

FITNESS & HEALTH k How to wean off sleeping pills k Spice up your health LAW & MONEY k Risky Chinese stocks k Good news on estate taxes

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ARTS & STYLE 22 k Images of a vanished Baltimore k Collecting holiday decorations ADVERTISER DIRECTORY

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