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2015
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contents
features
8 Feature: Bike Lessons Made Simple
Just in time for the big bike race, advice on how to teach your kid to ride ... the simple way.
6 Too Much Tween Tech?
How to ensure your children don’t become screen zombies.
7 Business and Pleasure in Prague Travel teaches important lessons to a group of students.
12 Growing Up Online
Good policies for sharing your kids’ photos — or not.
14 Gardening On the Cover: Photo Credit (c) Travis Swan via Flickr. Above: Photo Credit (c) Richard Masoner via Flickr. See page 8 for Bike Lesson article by Greg Weatherford.
Lela Martin explains how to keep your aging plants healthy and in place.
17 Let’s Go!
Spend September with activities around Richmond for the entire family.
Editorial Mission: Richmond Parents Monthly is dedicated to providing parents and professionals with the best information and resources available to enhance all aspects of parenting and family life. It is also an avenue to facilitate a shared sense of community among parents by providing useful information, support and a forum for dialogue on issues that are important to all parents and families. Volume 25, No. 9, SEPTEMBER 2015
Publisher: Mark E. Fetter Editor: Greg Weatherford Art Director: Jennifer G. Sutton Contributing Writers: Lela Martin, Carolyn Jabs, Greg Weatherford
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Richmond Parents Monthly 8010 Ridge Road · Suite F · Henrico, VA 23229 804-673-5203 • Fax: 673-5308 E-Mail: mail@richmondpublishing.com • www.richmondparents.com Richmond Parents Monthly is published 12 times a year and distributed free of charge. The advertising deadline is the 10th of each month for the upcoming issue. Richmond Parents Monthly welcomes reader comments and submissions; however, the publication is not responsible for unsolicited materials. All materials received become the property of the publisher and will not be returned. We reserve the right to edit any material used for publication. The entire content of Richmond Parents Monthly is ©2014. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express written consent of the publisher. The views and opinions expressed by writers and columnists do not necessarily represent those of Richmond Parents Monthly or its staff.
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RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u SEPTEMBER 2015 u 5
Too Much Tween Tech?
Help your kids make smart use of smart devices. ~ By Malia Jacobson ~
L
ibby Boggs says her 10-yearold son Drake watches about four hours of television daily — two shows and a movie, plus another hour of video games on the Xbox. If that number sounds high, it’s not. Drake’s techno-time actually clocks in several hours below average: according to the Kaiser Family Foundation, kids ages 8-18 spend around 7.5 hours per day using entertainment media. Boggs supervises Drake’s media time, but she still worries about the amount of time he spends plugged in. She’s right to be concerned. With young children jumping online at breathtaking speed—tweens’ and teens’ computer time has jumped 300 percent since 1999—millions of tweens and teens are now at risk for screen addictions, says Michael Osit, Ed.D., clinical psychologist and author of “Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids in an Age of Instant Everything.” E-males Increased access to technology makes it easy for kids to slide into damaging digital behaviors. Using the Internet just one hour per day — well below the daily average for American kids — reduces attention span and increases school difficulties, according to one study. And unhealthy digital habits can have serious consequences for tweens and
teens who can carry these addictive behaviors into adulthood. Experts differ in their definition of screen addiction, but most agree that certain kids seem to have a higher risk. Screen addictions, particularly video-game addictions, are seen more often in boys than girls, says in Annette Rembold, a licensed counselor in Seattle. Technology addicts share other traits as well: Multiple studies link screen overuse to low self-esteem, social isolation, and impaired social skills. Detecting screen overuse is fairly straightforward, says Daniel Sieberg, author of “The Digital Diet: The 4-Step Plan to Break Your Tech Addiction and Regain Balance in Your Life.” “Overuse of anything usually means that something else is suffering,” he notes. In other words, if relationships with family members are fading, grades are plummeting, or other hobbies are falling by the wayside, parents’ alarm bells should starting ringing. Irritability and hostility are red flags for screen overuse, according to Osit. Addictions can also manifest in physical symptoms like eye strain, carpel tunnel syndrome, headaches, and changes in weight. Social savvy But parents shouldn’t necessarily ban all screens even if they suspect screen overuse, says Rembold. Most kids need computers and In-
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ternet access to complete homework. And digital devices have some cognitive benefits: using video games and apps can build visual spatial skills, analytical thinking, and executive functions. Digital devices also keep kids plugged into the ever-changing tween social scene. Used in the right circumstances, digital media can serve as an important social platform that lets kids express themselves, feel included, and showcase their talents. “Social networking and roleplaying games can have a social benefit, especially for inhibited kids who aren’t socially adept in person,” says Osit. Techno-balance Simply yanking kids’ electronic access isn’t a workable long-term option for most families, so parents need to strike the right balance for tween screen use. Though the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting kids’ screen time to two hours of “recreational” use per day, each family needs to define what flies in their household, says Rembold. She encourages an open-door policy for screen use: kids need to have the door open when using technology in their bedroom. When kids turn in for the night, devices should power down, too. Bedroom electronics, including televisions and smartphones, are linked to sleep problems in kids and teens. Harsh parental mandates may spark rebellion instead of compliance, so ask tweens to contribute to the dialogue about screen use, and set media limits together. According to a study published in Journal of Adolescent Health, when parents and kids agree on screen time limitations, the rules are more likely to be effective. Libby Boggs won’t be loosening up Drake’s media limits any time soon. A well-rounded life includes time for entertainment media along
with lots of other pursuits, she says. “We want him to be creative and to be able to have fun in any situation— not just online or in front of a TV.” Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three. Her latest book is “Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.”
Smart Screen Use for Tweens • Encourage balance with healthy,
reasonable limits for tween screen time. • Choose people over devices • Set a family value that human interaction trumps technology. Shelve your own smartphone or laptop during family time, and encourage kids to use their devices on their own time, rather than during the time they share with others. • Structure an e-day • Work toward a finite beginning and end to your child’s connectedness. Choose when and where kids can use technology—and when and where they need to unplug. • Set limits • Nearly every device these days comes with parental controls that include passwords and timers to prevent overuse-take the time to look into them! • Find different ways to play • Remember: in the absence of other attractive options, bored kids will default to using their devices. Find alternative fun things to do—don’t just cut out the digital stuff without offering another idea. • Trust your instincts If you think your child might be spending too much time on social networks, playing online games, or endlessly texting, you’re likely right. That little voice knows when it’s all become too much. Listen to it. Source: Daniel Sieberg, author, T
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rague, one of the most beautiful cities in Europe, was home to 14 Virginia Commonwealth University students recently. They weren’t going simply to enjoy the spectacular view from Prague Castle or to see the amazing 15th-century astronomical clock in the Old Town Hall. They were a group of business students who signed up for the International Consulting Program (ICP) that collaborated with the Anglo-American University, a wellrespected private school. Students served as consultants for four Czech businesses, helping them with four different issues during two weeks in June, as they lived and worked in the historic city. Prague, home to 1.24 million citizens, is often referred to as at the crossroads of Europe. It was one of four VCU locations hosting ICP students. The other three locations were Athens, Greece; Cordoba, Spain; and Nicosia, Cyprus. In Prague, each VCU consulting team was paired with a Czech student and assigned to work with a local business to create a solution for a company issue. These issues ranged from an emergency action plan to a marketing proposal for the introduction of a new product internationally. Preparation began in Richmond, however, when the students took an intensive language/culture class as well as a consultancy course to ready them for their experience. They studied the language with a native speaker, preparing them to converse with clients and to be able to navigate the streets, restaurants and transportation systems in the city. Additionally, they studied advanced consultant techniques to prepare them for researching, planning and writing a plan for their clients. They worked on case studies to enhance their analytical skills and to assess problems and develop solutions. To culminate their Richmondbased class, they worked with a local business to solve a marketing issue. Students arrived in Prague on a Friday, and the following day were treated to a walking tour of the city and a welcome banquet by the host
university. On Sunday they took a day excursion to Plzen, a nearby city, to tour the famous brewery there. Then the real work began. On Monday morning they divided into four teams. The teams met with their clients and began learning the complex nature of the issues to be solved. There was a short break on the second weekend when students traveled to Vienna for a cultural trip to the historic city which was home to many of the Habsburgs. The two weeks flew by as the students worked in their teams to carefully research recommendations for their clients’ concerns. For example, one team worked with UNICEF CZ to prepare an action plan for an emergency so the organization could spring into action immediately to assist in a crisis. The four teams completed their research and analysis which culminated in a formal presentation of their solutions to clients. Students shared their thoughts about their experiences later in a reflection paper. One referred to the program as “an opportunity this summer that forever changed the way I perceive college education.” Another student said, “I realized a new level of my own self independence that is invaluable. And most importantly, I found a sense of accomplishment and joy that will be hard to match, but I will strive for it daily.” A third reported, “I would have never thought to look for jobs or school out of America but doing this program allowed me to see that there is so much more to the world than just textbooks.” The program had a large impact on the participants - as teammates, students, colleagues and fellow travelers. Students not only learned a great deal about their assigned companies, Czech business practices and how another culture operates, but also a great deal about themselves. Currently, there are four locations for the program: Prague, Czech Republic; Athens, Greece; Cordoba, Spain; and (for graduate students) Nicosia, Cyprus. The ICP offers students six credit hours plus an amazing international experience. For further information please contact: nkrangan@vcu.edu
RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u SEPTEMBER 2015 u 7
Better Bike Lessons
Teach your kid to ride, faster, safer and easier than ever. ~ By Greg Weatherford ~
A
s far as I can tell, the classic American way to teach a child to ride a bike is as fol-
lows: • Attach training wheels. • Put child on bike. • Have child pedal while adult runs alongside, holding the child and the bike upright. • Keep holding the bike upright. • Let go of the bike so child can pedal. • Visit emergency room. Actually, when I taught my two boys I would get stuck on No. 4. I would trot along beside a miniature bike with a miniature person riding it, sometimes for blocks, knowing the whole time that the moment I let go, the bike would wobble, waver and fall, sending my miniature person sprawling. This is how my parents taught me. It’s how, they assured me, their parents taught them. Somehow, the child on the bike learns to simultaneoulsy push the pedals him- or her-
self, balance the bicycle, steer right and left while keeping balanced, and keep this contraption steady even through turns and hills and rocks in the road. Two times, I did this. I taught one child to ride, then another. It took weeks. Weeks of anxiety and little injuries. I got tired of picking up children and brushing gravel out of their skinned knees. There’s got to be a better way, I thought. Turns out there is. And it works. But to make it work, you have to discard everything about the classic American way. This may be difficult for some of us. We don’t like doing things differently than the way we learned. But try doing it. First, toss the training wheels. Seriously, when have these ever been a good idea? Seems to me they do more damage than good. If they’re set high, they don’t do anything. If they’re set low, they catch on the ground and send beginning riders
8 u RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u SEPTEMBER 2015
toppling over like a knight at Agincourt. Get rid of them. They never worked. Second, prep the bike. Lower the bike seat and take off the pedals. You heard me — take a pair of pliers and remove the pedals. Both of them. The right pedal usually unscrews counterclockwise (lefty-loosey), but the left pedal usually unscrews clockwise (righty ... loosey?). Third, have your kid sit astride the bike. Helmets are a must here, if only so the child gets used to it, unlike us adults who rode our childhood bikes with our hair flying wild and free in the wind, at least until we smacked our skulls on the ground and (sometimes — too often) severely injured ourselves. Helmets yes, head wounds no. Fourth: Have your child walk the bike. Just walking around while sitting on the bike. No, parent: Do not hold the bike. You won’t have to. Your kid’s just walking! On a bike! Fifth: Let your child start glid-
ing. A gentle incline can help here, but it’s not necessary. Grassy areas are great but also not required. Here’s how it works: The kid, still astride the bike, pushes off and lifts her feet so the bike rolls forward. If things get a little wobbly, she puts her feet down again. Repeat. That’s it. Do this for ... however long your kid’s enjoying himself. Half an hour. Twenty minutes. Ten. You’ll see the kid start to get the hang of moving forward and controlling the bike’s direction. Some glides are longer than others. Hey, he’s almost riding now! Sixth: Put the pedals back on, using your pliers. Let the kid glide again and this time let him try using the pedals now and then. Sure, he’ll put his feet down whenever things start getting scary — that’s fine — but he’s got the hang of balancing and steering already, so adding another skill, pedaling, is relatively straightforward now. That’s it. No running alongside. No (well, fewer) falls, with attendant scrapes and gravel. And no training wheels, with their promise of assistance that turns into inevitable betrayal. And what do we give up? The fact that our kids have learned an important skill without the pain, terror and panic that most of us went through. Sounds good to me. This is a good tutorial video that offers more detail than I do, covering braking and other issues. http://www.babycenter.com/2_ how-to-teach-your-child-to-ride-abike_10354840.bc
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Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens began life as a bicycle club.
Wheel Love
Local authors’ book details Richmond’s bike history ~ By Stuart J. DuBreuil ~
“O
n Richmond’s Wheel: A Celebration of Cycling” by Thomas Houff and Aynsley Miller Fisher is both a love story and a multifaceted journey that explores over 100 years of biking history in Richmond. The object of their affection, of course, is the bicycle. Do you remember learning to ride a bike for the first time, and the pure joy and sense of freedom it gave you? The authors would like to inspire you to relive that experience, no matter your age, gender or socioeconomic status. Biking is for everyone, whether for recreation, transportation or competition. It is a great equalizer, empowering us to propel ourselves down roads or trails and feel the wind in our face. Tom Houff is an avid cyclist and bike racer in Richmond. He is also a history buff who has become a resident expert on early Richmond history related to the bicycle. Co-author Aynsley Miller Fisher is an awardwinning writer and editor. She is a lifelong athlete, bike enthusiast and Richmond native. Houff and Fisher write, “[T]his book is a celebration of the journey – not only of getting from one place to another by the power of your own two legs, but one that is full of some of the best things in life: camaraderie, freedom, discovery, challenges and fun. Cycling is a sport, a passion, a lifestyle, something that enriches our lives, ride by ride. ... It is a journey of the best kind that restores the body and spirit.” Bicycling is enjoying a resurgence in popularity, with people becoming more health conscious and
concerned about the environment. As the authors point out, “Urban planning with a focus on sustainability has the bicycle front and center. Health and fitness benefits of riding a bike are unparalleled.” Richmond’s Cycling History In the early 19th century, the bicycle was a new means of transportation that meant freedom, discovery, socializing, exercise and fun for all who dared to ride. Women especially, with certain limitations, were able to experience a sense of freedom and independence like never before. Many cycling specific social clubs were formed in the Richmond area. The Lakeside Wheel Club, was opened in 1895, by Major Lewis Ginter, at the urging of many prominent citizens who loved biking. The club had around 125 members, and sponsored local races, and social events. Today this area is part of the Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden and the remodeled Lakeside Wheel Club building is now the Bloemendaal House. Lewis Ginter, distinguished confederate soldier, wealthy entrepreneur, world traveler and philanthropist, called Richmond area roads a disgrace. He supported the National League of American Wheelmen’s Good Roads movement and helped distribute the league’s publication, “Good Roads,” which showed engineers how to construct better highways and set down rules of the road. Road improvements sparked economic growth and provided Richmonders with a convenient way to travel outside the city limits where new housing developments were
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springing up in the suburbs to the north and west. The birth of Monument Avenue is one example of this growth. Richmond also embraced bicycle racing. The book’s authors cite an article in the Richmond Times, on Oct. 23, 1892: “A bicycle race at Exposition Field, the current site of the Science Museum of Virginia, [where] an estimated 15,000 spectators turned out to experience the thrill of the new sport that was captivating Richmond.” In 1905, Englishman Jack Prince, a bike racer and promoter, built a velodrome (an oval banked track for bike racing) inside the Horse Show building, near Byrd Park in Richmond. Prince brought the best riders to Richmond to compete for cash prizes, in evening races under the lights. When the automobile became affordable, after 1910, the popularity of biking, at least for most adults in Richmond, declined. In the late 1930s some Americans, mostly teens, adopted European-style lightweight road bikes, and competed in local road races. Later on, in the 1960s, European style bicycles and racing become popular with American adults. Cyclists Today Just like the cyclists back in the 19th century, led by Lewis Ginter and the League of American Wheelmen, today’s cyclists are calling for better bike infrastructure to be planned and developed. Public and private organizations are now making this happen. The Virginia Capital Trail, a dedicated, paved pedestrian and bicycle trail that will connect the old and new capitals of Virginia (Jamestown and Richmond), is expected to be completed in September 2015. This will be a 53-mile scenic route completely separated from motor vehicle traffic. Ben King, one of Virginia’s top world tour pro cyclists, was born in Richmond but grew up riding the Blue Ridge Mountains, near his home in Charlottesville. In his foreword, King reminds us that while Richmond is the focus for the 2015 Worlds, Virginia has many other special places to ride. King writes, “I have not found a more seductive place than Virginia to ride a bike. Freshwater streams, voluptuous rolling hills, bucolic pastures, lusty hardwoods, and clean oxygenated
air, create an intoxicating outdoor environment to enjoy on two wheels.” Overall this book does an admirable job of exploring the cycling psyche of Virginia’s capital city and surrounding region, from it’s early history to present day accomplishments and future plans and dreams. It also expresses the love we as cyclists have for the bike, rooted in our first childhood experiences. “On Richmond’s Wheel” is a coffee-table book and makes good use of images throughout, including many photos of landscapes and sights of Richmond cycling. Visitors coming to the 2015 Worlds will find it a valuable resource for getting to know the Richmond area, its cycling venues, culture and history. In fact, anyone interested in Richmond area cycling or history will find this book to be a great addition to their library.
The reviewer is a freelance photojournalist in the Richmond area and an avid cyclist.
“On Richmond’s Wheel: A Celebration of Cycling” Thomas Houff and Aynsley Miller Fisher
Publisher: Dementi Milestone Publishing, Manakin-Sabot 112 pps., $35
Racing in Richmond Milestones: 1980s - Richmond hosts professional races • Tour of America • Tour de Trump, Tour DuPont 1999 - XTERRA comes with multi-sport competition 2003 - CapTech Classic bike race, with $12,500 in prize money 2007 - U.S. Open Cycling Championships, a road race from Williamsburg to Richmond - World Long Course Duathlon Championships (Run 15k, Bike 80k, Run 7.5k) 2014 - USA Cycling Collegiate Road National Championships 2015 – UCI Road World Championships
RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u SEPTEMBER 2015 u 9
Bike Feature continued from page 9 Brains in Gear Four bike-related exhibits for your family. The UCI Road World Championships come to Richmond this month, as you probably have heard. Organizers and planners predict that the region’s roads and hotels will be swamped by hundreds of thousands of visitors who will arrive to watch the world’s greatest cyclists speeding along our familiar streets. Many of us will be watching in person or on television — there will be wall-to-wall media coverage, we’re told — but what can we parents do to add some culture and context to this gigantic event? Luckily, area museums and educational centers have gone into high gear to offer just that. Here are four great ideas for family outings to learn some science, history and art — the two-wheeled way. “In Gear: Richmond Cycles” The Valentine, 1015 Clay St. thevalentine.org
Richmond’s long relationship with the bicycle is explored in this exhibit featuring an early “penny-farthing” bike, an 1890s women’s sporting outfit and other historical artifacts and images. “The Richmond community has been cycling in the streets, the parks, and along the sidewalks ... since the 1800s,” says curator David Voelkel. Come see the proof. Through Jan. 3. $10 adults/$8 students; military and kids under 18 free. “From Bicycle Club to Botanical Garden” Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden 1800 Lakeside Ave. lewisginter.org With Henrico’s beloved Lewis Ginter Botanical serving as a starting point for part of the UCI race, it’s fitting that the garden honor its historic roots as one of the nation’s first bicycle clubs. Built in 1895 as the Lakeside Wheel Club, the location then served as a home and (briefly) a children’s hospital before opening as a pub-
lic garden and educational site in the 1980s. A number of bike-themed exhibits will be on display, exploring the cycling craze at the turn of the century; how women’s lives and fashions of the 1890s were affected by bicycles; an exploration of how the club became the garden we know; and a life-sized bike made of Lego by world-class builder Sean Kenney. Through Sept. 27. Adults $12, seniors $11, children 3-12 $8, free for garden members and kids under 3. Free admission Sept. 20. “Bikes: Science on Two Wheels” Science Museum of Virginia 2500 W. Broad St. smv.org The Science Museum delves into the history of cycling with this exhibit of historic, rare and surprising bikes such as the early “Boneshaker” as well as the modern technologies that make current bikes lighter, stronger and more aerodynamic than ever. Other exhibits explore ener-
gy, force and motion as well as engineering and aerodynamics. Organized by Carnegie Science Center in cooperation with Bicycle Museum of America. Through Sept. 27. Adults $11, kids and seniors $10, free for museum members and kids under 3. “ArtCycle” Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, 200 N. Boulevard (Memorial Foundation for Children Teaching Gallery) vmfa.org Kids will appreciate the VMFA’s “participatory exhibition” to discover how artists have been inspired by bicycles and movement. Visitors can take a virtual tour on a bike through works in VMFA’s collection, experiment with creating objects out of bike parts, and more. A special opening ceremony and open studio session is open to the public on Sunday, Sept. 6, noon–4 p.m. Exhibit runs Sept. 6-June 30, 2016. Free.
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calender of events
September 1 Come and Play with Chick-fil-A, 11-11:30am Free Blood Pressure Screenings, 8:30-9:30am in the Food Court September 2 CFA Story Time, 11:15am-12:15pm September 3 Regency Square Kids Club, 10:30-11:00am September 7 CFA Family Night, 6:15-7:15pm September 8 Come and Play with Chick-fil-A, 11-11:30am Free Blood Pressure Screenings, 8:30-9:30am in the Food Court September 9 CFA Story Time, 11:15am-12:15pm
September 12 Cars & Coffee Richmond, 8-10am September 14 CFA Family Night, 6:15-7:15pm September 15 Come and Play with Chick-fil-A, 11-11:30am Free Blood Pressure Screenings, 8:30-9:30am in the Food Court September 16 CFA Story Time, 11:15am-12:15pm September 19 Ballroom Dance Demonstration, 1:30-3:00pm September 21 CFA Family Night, 6:15-7:15pm September 22 Come and Play with Chick-fil-A, 11-11:30am Free Blood Pressure Screenings, 8:30-9:30am in the Food Court
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2015
SEPTEMBER
September 23 CFA Story Time, 11:15am-12:15pm CFA Frosted Princess Party, 5-7:30pm
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GROWING UP ONLINE BY CAROLYN JABS
Becoming Mindful About Photos
PHOTO CREDIT: (c) www.mashable.com
friends? Absolutely! Colleagues, associates and friends of friends? Probably not.
S
ocial media has become the new back fence, a place where parents can tell stories, swap tips and even brag a bit. A recent survey from the Pew Research Center found that moms, in particular, give and get lots of encouragement as well as useful parenting information from networks like Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram. Almost all of these efforts involve photos — which would be great if those photos would stay put. Unfortunately, they don’t. Photos of cute kids — especially babies — have been misappropriated by people who use them for their own, sometimes dubious, purposes. Baby roleplaying, for example, involves young women who use random photos of children to fantasize about motherhood. By posting pics and inventing details about babies they don’t now, they attract attention on social media. In these so-called digital kidnappings, the child may not be in physical danger. Still, most parents find it disconcerting to see their child’s face in someone else’s fantasy, especially if there’s a preoccupation with breastfeeding or bath time. In other cases parents have stumbled across familiar photos that have been used in advertising or to create memes, those Internet placards that sometimes take on a life of their own. Obviously, people vary a great deal in what they feel comfortable saying on social media, and parent-
hood doesn’t necessarily change that. Some new parents find that they are very protective about a baby’s online presence; others become Mommy bloggers who build a loyal following by chronicling intimate details about domestic life. All parents should, however, think seriously about what impact a post that seems cute today may have on a child in the future. Just as couples need to negotiate what they are willing to share on social media, parents must also try to imagine how a child will feel when he or she is an eye-rolling 8-year-old, an easily embarrassed teen or a young adult looking for a job. How can parents balance the benefits of social networking with its risks? Here are a few tips. Use privacy settings. The report from Pew found that parents typically had 150 friends on Facebook, and of those, one third were “actual” friends. Consider sharing photos of kids only with those friends. Most social media sites make it easy to establish different groups within your FB community. (Details about setting privacy settings for the main social media venues are available at socialmediaexaminer.com/social-media-privacy-settings/) Go through your network and think about whether your relationship is close enough to share details about your child. Grandparents, other family members, close
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Share your reshare policy. Even if you are careful about privacy, photos can escape your network if they are reshared. To discourage resharing, remind friends and family that photos are “for your eyes only.” Talk to other parents, too. Explain your concerns about over-sharing and ask that they not post photos of playdates and other outings without your permission. Extend the same courtesy to them. Use a nickname. Instead of using your child’s real name, use a pseudonym. This makes it harder to connect an escaped photo with your family. It will also spare your child the embarrassment of having baby pics show up when someone Googles them in the future. Make copying difficult. A few techniques will make it harder for people to use your photos for other purposes. Try saving photos with the lowest possible resolution. Not only will the file transmit more quickly, but it will also be blurry if someone tries to enlarge it. Parents can also borrow a trick from professional photographers by putting a signature or watermark on photos. Visualwatermark.com is one of several free services that make it easy to brand digital pics. No naked pictures. Ever. No matter how cute or innocent they may seem, naked pictures should not be posted online. Even if you don’t attract the attention of a predator or run afoul of the obscenity standards on your social network, you run the risk of distributing a picture that will be used to harass your child in the future.
Some parents use social media as a kind of baby album, keeping track of firsts as they happen. Really important photos deserve better protection. Try making albums on password protected sites like Flickr or Photobucket. Share passwords only with family members and other trusted friends who really want to see all your great photos. Back up photo files in the cloud and on a separate hard or flash drive. For photos that really matter, consider making prints or photo books which are likely to last longer than any digital format. Be selective. Taking digital pictures is sooooo easy. Be ruthless about culling your photos. Review and delete at least once a week. And only share photos that are special in some way. Close-ups with only a few props tend to be more interesting, and they also they make it harder for strangers to identify your child or locate your home. Post vacation pictures after you return home so people won’t know when your house is unoccupied. Now that every cellphone includes a camera, parents also need to think about when photos are an intrusion. Yes, childhood is fleeting and a photo can help you remember. But photos can also turn you into an observer instead of a participant, especially if you are thinking ahead to the number of “likes” a photo will get on social media. Instead of reflexively reaching for the camera, get in the habit of asking whether a photo will deepen—or interrupt—a special moment with your child.
Carolyn Jabs, M.A., raised three computer savvy kids including one with special needs. She has been writing Growing Up Online for ten years and is working on a book about constructive responses to conflict. Visit www. growing-up-online.com to read other columns. @ Copyright, 2015, Carolyn Jabs. All rights reserved.
Use an alternative album.
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Victory Christian Academy Teaching and Learning Without Compromising the Word of God est. 1985
(804) 262-8256
35 Years In Operation
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Community Service In 2015 over 1,500 volunteer hours
Average National Percentile Rank for VCA Students in:
High School are 86% Middle School are 86% Elementary are 88% HIGHER than the National Norm Group in Reading, Language & Math
2015-Seniors received over $580,000 in academic scholarships (there are 11 students in the class)
Victory Christian Academy 8491 Chamberlayne Road Richmond, VA 23227
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RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u SEPTEMBER 2015 u 13
GARDENING By LELA MARTIN
Aging in Place: Rejuvenation and Renewal Pruning tions before undertaking rejuvenation pruning.
PHOTO CREDIT: (c) Photography by Kate Martin
• Is the plant healthy? Will
M
any seniors would prefer to age in place, remaining in their own homes and communities. With the proper foresight in building or selecting a home with features such as first-floor master bedroom suites and wide doorways, aging in place is an option. How does this relate to gardening? Home landscaping, especially foundation shrubs, can remain healthy and viable over the years with forethought in their selection and proper care as they mature. Chesterfield County Master Gardeners (part of the Virginia Cooperative Extension) offer a program to residents called “Learn Your Landscape.” As a volunteer with this program, I’ve visited several homes recently where the foundation landscaping has aged, but not well. My own home was built as a spec (i.e., speculative) home in the early 90s and the front shrubs (installed by the builder) were ill-suited and placed too close together. Just as installing a ramp for a resident may make aging in place possible in a home, the appropriate pruning may allow your shrubbery to age in place. There are two techniques for taming certain out-of-control bushes: rejuvenation and renewal. Rejuvenation Rejuvenation pruning is more severe than renewal pruning. You should ask yourself several ques-
•
the type of shrub respond well to drastic pruning? Deciduous shrubs such as redtwig dogwood, forsythia, rose of Sharon, hydrangea, privet/ligustrum, spirea, lilac, and abelia are candidates. This method is not successful on evergreen shrubs such as holly and boxwood. • Is the timing right? The preferred time for renovative pruning is just before bud break in early spring. Butterfly bush and vitex, for example, can be pruned annually in the spring once the danger of a hard frost is over. • Will I be able to give extra care to the plant in the year after severe pruning? The newly planted shrub will be under stress, which may make it more susceptible to disease and insect damage. Can I tolerate the appearance of a stump or stubs in the landscape?
If you decide to perform rejuvenation pruning, cut the old branches between ground level and one foot high. Beautyberry is rejuvenated by pruning to one foot high rather than at ground level. Immediately you will be rid of the unsightly shrub. As the new shoots sprout, make thinning cuts to shape the shrub. Thinning cuts remove branches at their points of origin or attachment (i.e., a side branch or the main trunk). Thinning is a preferred method of pruning. Thinning encourages new growth within the interior portions of a shrub, reduces size, and provides a fuller, more attractive plant. Use good pruning techniques and the proper tools. Renewal The renewal method of pruning is a gentler approach. Remove 1/3 of older wood at the appropriate time each year for three years, by using thinning cuts back to the crown or main stem. The volume and height of the shrub are reduced, but this ap-
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proach keeps the overall shape of the shrub. Shoots grow as they get light. They too will need to be thinned. Many deciduous shrubs respond well to renewal such as barberry, pyracantha, forsythia, honeysuckle, hydrangea, lilac, mockorange, flowering quince, spirea, weigela, and privet/ligustrum (thin 1/4 each year over four years). Some evergreen shrubs such as boxwood, cherry laurel, rhododendron, and nandina can also be renewed through this process. Follow the calendar produced by the Virginia Cooperative Extension: “A Guide to Successful Pruning, Shrub Pruning Calendar” by Bonnie Lee Appleton and Susan C. French: https://pubs.ext. vt.edu/430/430-462/430-462.html Shrubs with cane habits include forsythia and nandina. These shrubs spread by sending up erect new branches, called canes, from their base. To reduce the height of shrubs with a cane habit, first remove the tallest canes by cutting or sawing them out near ground level. Then, thin out any canes crowding the center, as well as those growing in an unwanted or unruly direction. Those with mounding habits, such as spirea, generally have soft, flexible stems, small leaves, and are often used in mass plantings. For height maintenance of moundingtype shrubs, prune only the longest branches. Make thinning cuts well inside the shrub mass where they won’t be visible. This method reduces mounding shrubs by up to onethird their size without sacrificing their shape. Tree-like shrubs have woodier, finely divided branches, often with a main trunk. Rhododendron is an example a tree-like shrub. Shrubs with a tree-like habit are the most difficult to shorten. After removing any rubbing branches, prune to open up the center of the shrub. Keep the crown open and maximize light penetration by careful use of thinning cuts. Prune branches that touch the ground and suckers originating from the roots. Tree-like shrubs can usually tolerate removal of one-eighth to one-
fourth of their branches. By using the appropriate pruning technique, you can reduce and manage the size of your foundation plantings and allow them to age in place gracefully. Lela Martin is a Master Gardener with the Chesterfield County office of the Virginia Cooperative Extension. Resources “A Guide to Successful Pruning, Pruning Shrubs” by Susan C. French and Bonnie Lee Appleton, Virginia Cooperative Extension 430-459: https://pubs.ext. vt.edu/430/430-459/430-459.html “A Guide to Successful Pruning, Shrub Pruning Calendar” by Bonnie Lee Appleton and Susan C. French, Virginia Cooperative Extension Publication 430-462: https://pubs.ext. vt.edu/430/430-462/430-462.html “Hacking & Whacking - Dealing with Overgrown Shrubs” by Lee Stivers, Penn State Cooperative Extension: http://extension.psu.edu/ plants/green-industry/news/2012/ hacking-whacking-dealing-withovergrown-shrubs “Pruning Ornamental Plants” by James C. Sellmer, Vincent J. Cotrone, Martin R. McGann, and J. Robert Nuss, Penn State Cooperative Extension: http://extension.psu.edu/ publications/agrs-095/view Note: This is the first in a series of three articles about foundation plantings. You will learn how to prune shrubs to allow them to age in place, how to remove and take cuttings from shrubs if they are not sustainable, and how to design a replacement entry garden.
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PRESENTS
Admission is FREE! Wristbands for the Kids Zone are $5 each and donations are always welcome.
September 27th, 1-5pm at Westchester Commons Rt. 288 and Midlothian Turnpike FEATURING: The Diggity Dudes in their Final Farewell Performance Silly Bus Susan Greenbaum Band All proceeds benefit Connor’s Heroes: Conquering Childhood Cancer www.connorsheroes.org
Now Accepting Applications for Corporate Sponsorships & Vendor Space, contact tom@connorsheroes.org or (804) 897-1272.
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RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u SEPTEMBER 2015 u 15
Dressing Without Drama How to handle picky dressers. ~ By Lara Krupicka ~
I
f you’ve ever left the house with a child wearing a superhero cape or princess dress, or if you’ve ever noticed your daughter’s socks don’t match as you’re dropping her at school or realized your son’s shirt was on backwards at the end of the day, you know the challenges of dressing kids. Whether it’s a matter of clothes not matching or convincing your child to bundle up in cold weather, handling wardrobe issues can be sticky. Here’s some advice from moms and experts on how to approach some common childhood “clothing conundrums.” Mismatched clothes or socks Blame Little Miss Mismatch for the popularity of odd clothing combinations all you like, there’s still the issue of what to do when your child tries to leave the house in plaids and stripes. Shari Braendel, fashion expert and author of “Good Girls Don’t Have to Dress Bad,” suggests leaving well enough alone: “This is their way of showing individuality. They’re experimenting with their creativity. It may be an attention-getting thing, but it won’t be attention-getting for long.” Braendel goes on to emphasize as long as it doesn’t hurt them, there’s no reason to intervene. Multiple Wardrobe Changes Kids may go through periods of time where they change what they wear multiple times during the day. It might not seem to be a big deal to anyone but the person who does the laundry. Or it can become a big deal if it prevents them from heading out the door on time. Aside from taking all their clothes away (which
may work as a last resort), what’s a parent to do? “Sometimes too much choice can be overwhelming,” says psychologist Bobbie McDonald. “What I suggest, rather than giving them a completely open choice (or none at all) is to choose two or three outfits and say, ‘It’s cold outside. Here are three outfits choices, or you can mix and match. So which outfit would you like?” Colleen Sall, mother of two elementary-aged children, found a solution in selecting clothes the night before. “The biggest problem was there hadn’t been any planning in advance to make sure they had everything they wanted to wear to get out the door to school. So there were a lot of last-minute changes going on. That was a problem because everything looked okay and then all of a sudden they’d put on a sock and it had a hole.” Now her children put out their entire outfits before they go to bed. They talk about what activities will be happening and what the weather forecaster calls for the next day. “I give a range of what the temperature is going to be like. They may ask for clarification like, ‘Do I need a coat?’ My daughter doesn’t feel like she’s being bossed around with what to wear. She feels like she’s getting some pretty solid advice. The best part is that it’s become so automatic.” Clothes that don’t “feel” right Some children have tactile sensitivities that make it hard for them to feel comfortable in certain clothes. The seam on the end of the socks may irritate them, or how a pair of pants rides on their hips. These sensitivities can make it difficult for parents to get them dressed and out the door. But there are ways to overcome this. “Those are real issues,” says McDonald. “A lot of times parents view that as their child being stubborn or
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rigid. Everybody is different.” McDonald recommends taking the child along to try on clothes before buying them. “They can get a sense of does it feel itchy and scratchy or soft and comfortable. It can really help when it comes time for that child to wear those clothes. Too often what happens is, parents want to buy the clothes, bring them home and the kid should like it. They set themselves up for failure.” Battles Over Clothing Choices When children are very young, they often have little opinion on what clothes they like. Sometimes they may have a favorite shirt or dress, but otherwise they wear whatever mom buys. But as children get older and begin to assert their independence there may be a clash of opinions on what clothes are best. This issue happens most often at the clothing store while shopping for clothes. A parent may be used to picking out all the clothes they buy for their child. And one day that child begins to balk at mom’s selections. In turn, parents may object to clothes kids pick due to issues of appropriateness or revealing styles for girls. “It’s a struggle for parents on the whole because a lot of times when a style is ‘in’ it’s tighter fitting, lower cut. You don’t want your kids dressing abnormal. You want them to fit in. But when you have different values of how you want them to dress and the current style does not follow those, it’s very frustrating,” says Melanie Wozniak, mom to three girls and one boy. “You want them to dress like their peers and fit in, but you don’t want to compromise your values.” Wozniak says when her children ask to buy something she doesn’t care for she redirects them. “I tell them, ‘let’s go look at something else. Let’s find something cuter.’“ Braendel suggests preparing before a shopping trip by discussing what they can and can’t wear. Make it clear what clothes you’ll allow. “Agree together ahead of time what the guidelines will be. Then instead of saying ‘you cannot wear this’, tell them what they can wear. Give them
really positive things to look for when they shop instead of negative advice.” Braendel notes an important concept when it comes to clothing issues and our children’s appearance, “What they put on is a reflection of who they are on the inside. We need to understand our child is not a reflection of us. We think they are. So we’re the ones who get embarrassed. We just have to get over that.” McDonald, the psychologist, agrees. “It’s important to step past our own ego of what they should look like and let them have that freedom of expression. Because when we give that to them, it gives them a sense of self-confidence and selfempowerment.”
Kids’ Clothing Do’s and Don’ts:
Don’t: • Buy it if you don’t approve of it • Openly criticize your child’s clothing choices • Say, “You can’t wear that.” Do: • Provide guidelines for selecting clothes • Gently redirect poor decisions • Involve kids in clothes shopping • Take kids shopping one at a time • Say, “You can pick from these choices.”
Common School Dress Codes:
• Skirts and shorts should be fin• • • • •
gertip length (when arms are straight at one’s side) Pants must sit at the waist Straps should be two fingers wide No tube tops, halter tops or strapless tops No bare midriffs or chests No visible underwear
Lara Krupicka is a freelance writer and mom to three girls who have very different clothing tastes from hers. She’s learned to shrug at her girls’ outfits — even the Christmas socks in July.
RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u SEPTEMBER 2015 u 17
18 u RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u SEPTEMBER 2015
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September
2015
CONTINUING EVENTS
“BUTTERFLIES LIVE!” at Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens: An indoor exhibit of butterflies from around the world: tropical butterflies feed, flutter and take flight all around. Explore their origins, preferred habitats and life cycles. Free with regular paid garden admission. Through Oct. 11. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. 1800 Lakeside Ave. Information: www.lewisginter.org. “Cycle Celebration.” A show of artworks presenting bicycles in all their glory including a full-sized bicycle painted by students. Through Oct. 31. Free. Uptown Gallery, 1305 W. Main St. Open 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Tuesdays-Saturdays. Information: (804) 3538343. Water Play at the Garden. On warm days, the Children’s Garden offers gentle fountain sprays and lots of splashing. Kids should wear swimsuits, swim diapers or other appropriate clothing; bring towels. Through Sept. 30; afternoons only after Sept. 14. Free with regular admission. 1800 Lakeside Ave. Information: www.lewisginter.org. Electric Football Game Art Show. See archival items and custom figures, teams, fields and more collected and created by players, artists and enthusiasts of the 1970s-era electric board game. Not just for football fans, this exhibit highlights the nostalgia of these peculiar games as well as the ingenuity of its recent revivalists. Through Sept. 15. ADA Gallery, 228 W. Broad St. Information: info@adagallery.com.
Plantation as well as its corn maze. Maze included in regular admission; take-home pumpkins extra. Through November. $11 adults, $6 children. Berkeley Plantation, 12602 Harrison Landing Road, Charles City. Information: www.berkeleyplantation.com.
Sept. 11
Trail Tales. Hear tales of plants, animals and other discoveries from along the trail, brought to you from Pocahontas State Park. Free with regular admission. Children’s Museum of Richmond, 2626 W. Broad St. Information: (804) 474-7062.
Sept. 12
RVA Peace Festival. Celebrating peace and diversity, building community and understanding. Entertainment, arts and crafts, children’s activities; sponsors include the Interfaith Council of Greater Richmond, the Richmond Peace Education Center and the Center for Interfaith Reconciliation at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Free. Seventh Street Christian Church, 4101 Grove Ave. Information: RVAPeace@gmail. com.
Sept. 13
Museum Story Time for Children. Reading from “If You Find a Rock,” by Peggy Christian. Art activity follows. 2-3 p.m. Free. Reservations recommended. Harnett Museum of Art, Modlin Center for the Arts. Information: (804) 287-1258. Grand Family Affair. Lawn games and 19th-century entertainment for the whole family in this tribute to Grandparents’ Day. 2-4 p.m. Free. Walkerton Tavern, 2892 Mountain Road, Glen Allen. Information: lew56@henrico.us
Sept. 18
Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch. Explore the history of Berkeley
Kiev Symphony Orchestra and Chorus. A performance of folk dancing and classical, sacred and Slavic music. 7 p.m. $15 advance, $20 at door. The Steward
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School, 11600 Gayton Road. Information: (804) 741-5254 or (804) 364-3289. Bike Championships Opening Ceremonies. The Richmond Symphony will perform and “American Idol” finalist Rayvon Owen will sing the national anthem to launch the UCI Road World Championships (see below). 6:30-8:30 p.m.; gates open at 5:30 p.m. Free but tickets required. Brown’s Island. Information: www.richmond2015.com.
Sept. 19
The UCI Road World Championships. An estimated 450,000 spectators will gather in Richmond to watch some of the world’s greatest bicyclists pedal around and through the city’s streets. Hundreds of millions more will watch on TV. If you’re willing to brave the crowds and traffic, you can get as close to the Tour de France as possible on this continent. Through Sept. 27. Free. Information and schedule: www.richmond2015. com. Henricus Publick Days. Commemorating the 1611 founding of the Citie of Henricus with reenactments, musket drills, historic children’s games and crafts and more. Plus, tour Godspeed, a re-created 17th century ship from Jamestown. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Free admission; parking $5. Henricus Historical Park, 251 Henricus Park Road, Chester. Information: (804) 748-1611. Glen Allen Day. The Glen Allen Ruritan Club and Henrico Recreation and Parks present Glen Allen Day, kicking off with a parade along Mountain Road. Activities include balloon animals, a petting zoo, airbrush designs, arts and crafts, and local musicians on two stages. Concessions for purchase. 9:30 a.m.-3 p.m. Free. Meadow Farm Museum, 3400 Mountain Road, Glen Allen. Information: www.glenallenday.org or (804) 257-9605.
Sept. 20
Food Truck Fundraiser. A variety of food trucks will help raise money for the North Chesterfield Wrestling Club. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Midlothian Middle School, 13501 Midlothian Turnpike. Information: (804) 822-6653.
Sept. 22
“The Supernaturalists.” Magicians, escape artists and illusionists take the stage in a Cirque du Soleil-style extravaganza presented by Criss Angel, who will appear via satellite. $39.50-$85. Carpenter Theatre at Richmond CenterStage, 600 E. Grace St. Information: www.richmondcenterstage.com.
Sept. 25
Trail Tales. Hear tales of plants, animals and other discoveries from along the trail, from Pocahontas State Park. Free with regular admission. Children’s Museum of Richmond — Chesterfield, 6629 Lake Harbour Drive, Midlothian. Information: (804) 474-7075
Sept. 26
Fund Raiser. Hands of Rescue, a medically based motorcycle club, will raise funds for charities Heart Havens and the Missing in America Project with its fourth annual “Ride for Independence.” Vendors, kid-friendly games, motorcycles. Starts at 8:30 a.m. Free. Richmond Harley-Davidson, 12200 Harley Club Drive, Ashland.
Sept. 27
“Carnival of the Animals.” Camille Saint-Saen’s classic is the climax of a showcase of chamber music, part of pianist Alexander Paley’s 18th annual music festival. 3 p.m. Free. St. Luke Evangelical Lutheran Church, 7757 Chippenham Parkway. Information and full performance schedule: paleymusicfestival.org.
SUBMIT A CALENDAR ENTRY Entries are subject to change; call to confirm dates and times. Entries for the October calendar are due September 9; send items to: calendar@richmondpublishing.com.
RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u SEPTEMBER 2015 u 19
Now Enrolling for Regular Classes too! Martial Arts gives Children the Tools Needed for Success!
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