October 2015 | Richmond Parents Monthly

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Parents’ First Choice For 25 Years!

October 2015 • Priceless


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Parents’ First Choice For 25 Years!

contents OCTOBER 2015

From the Editor

6

Calming Nighttime Fears

W

8

Gardening

by Greg Weatherford

hen I was little, something lived under my bed. I didn’t know what it looked like or why it was there. But I knew that if I put my foot straight down on the floor, it could grab my ankles and pull me under. This was not a theory, or an anxiety. I was dead serious. Turns out, this is a common fear. Just like the monster in the closet, the Thing Under the Bed awaits many a child. And while Halloween and dress-up can help a lot of kids manage and deal with their fears, it can make some of them more anxious. That’s why we are running a helpful feature on making your kids feel less worried. In my case, I learned how to manage my fear by taking charge of it. I spent years hopping off my bed, landing far enough away that the horrible grasping hand could never get me. It never did. Still, old habits die hard. Even now, many years later, I have to remind myself there’s nothing under the bed. Other than dust bunnies, of course — but those are scary enough for me these days.

This can be scary season for many kids. Here’s how to help.

Saying Goodbye: Taking cuttings and cutting away overgrown shrubs.

12

Growing Up Online

20

Questions for Bill Pike

22

Let’s Go!

Should toys talk to kids? A guide.

The author of a local pumpkin-lovers’ classic explains why he writes.

What to do and where to go.

On the Cover: “Glowing House,” Glenn Sewell via Flickr

Volume 25, No. 9, OCTOBER 2015

Founder/Publisher: Mark E. Fetter mfetter@richmondpublishing.com Editor: Greg Weatherford rpmeditor@richmondpublishing.com Art Director: Jennifer Sutton jsutton@richmondpublishing.com Contributing Writers: Lela Martin, Carolyn Jabs, Greg Weatherford

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Editorial Mission: Richmond Parents Monthly is dedicated to providing parents and professionals with the best information and resources available to enhance all aspects of parenting and family life. It is also an avenue to facilitate a shared sense of community among parents by providing useful information, support and a forum for dialogue on issues that are important to all parents and families. Richmond Parents Monthly is published 12 times a year and distributed free of charge. The advertising deadline is the 10th of each month for the upcoming issue. Richmond Parents Monthly welcomes reader comments and submissions; however, the publication is not responsible for unsolicited materials. All materials received become the property of the publisher and will not be returned. We reserve the right to edit any material used for publication. The entire content of Richmond Parents Monthly is ©2015. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express written consent of the publisher. The views and opinions expressed by writers and columnists do not necessarily represent those of Richmond Parents Monthly or its staff.

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Every month, an average of 75,000 readers enjoy Richmond Parents Monthly which is distributed in over 425 locations throughout the metro area. These locations include all CVS stores, McDonald’s, Kroger stores, medical centers, retail outlets, museums, and bookstores as well as many public libraries. Richmond Parents Monthly is regularly advertised on television. This creates a demand for the magazine and increases visibility and reader recall. Richmond Parents Monthly is also represented at numerous community events throughout the year.

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PHOTO CREDIT: (c) www.tellanothermom.com

Monster Mash Nixing nighttime fears ~ by Malia Jacobson ~

P

arents love seeing little ghosts, ghouls, and goblins on the doorstep at Halloween. But when monsters, ghosts, and other imaginary figures start keeping kids awake at night, it’s another story. Nighttime fears are highly common—and not just for little kids, either. “Studies show this is a very common issue, affecting up to threequarters of kids from preschool through adolescence at one time or another,” clinical psychologist Jayne Schachter Walco, Ph.D. of Parsippany, New Jersey, says. “Parents think of fears as something only small children deal with, but that’s untrue.” Young children aged three to six are more likely to complain of “fantastical” fears like monsters and ghosts, while older children fear things that could actually happen, like a fire, storm, or a home intruder, Walco says. That’s because small children have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality, while school-agers are becoming more aware of the sometimes-scary real world. Though fears vary for different children, parents can address them more or less the same way. Read on for how to slay the scariest of scary monsters at your house this fall. Fear faker? Young children are champions at stalling bedtime; how can parents tell if monster fears are more of the

same? “When a child learns that complaining about a fear is a successful tactic to postpone bedtime, he might continue to do this even without any real fear,” says Shelby Harris, Psy.D., director of the Behavioral Sleep Medicine Program at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. But parents can sleuth out a genuine phobia, she says. A real fear will be quite intense and will be present during the day, not just at night. So if your little arachnophobe only fears spiders after seven p.m., the fear may be bedtime-related, while a fear that’s present at other times is likely authentic. Fear fix: Treat your child’s fears (even ones you suspect are less than genuine) with empathy and understanding, Harris says. Never laugh at your child or humiliate her. Instead, say “I understand how this might be scary for you, but you’re always safe here.” Routine scene Children with irregular sleep schedules are more prone to nighttime fears and nightmares, Walco says. Why? Overtired children have more difficulty reaching and maintaining deep sleep and spend more time in lighter, “dreaming” sleep, so vivid nightmares may come calling more often. These tired tots may wake more often during the night, resulting in more time spent pondering whether that shadow in the cor-

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ner is really a monster in waiting. Fear fix: Maintain a predictable, age-appropriate bedtime routine every night to boost relaxation before bed and help ensure that children get enough rest. Preschoolers need 10-12 hours of sleep each night; school-agers and teens need 9-11. Bedroom buddy Nighttime fears can seem more frightening when children sleep alone, Harris says, which is why children often ask to sleep with parents when they’re afraid. Whenever possible, though, parents should avoid the “quick fix” of letting kids hop into mom and dad’s bed—this can reinforce fear by communicating that a child’s bedroom isn’t a safe place to sleep. Fear fix: Parents’ goal should be helping a child feel safe and comfortable in his or her own bedroom. “Whenever possible, soothe a child in the child’s bedroom, instead of in parents’ room,” Harris says. Once he’s calmed down, tell your child you’ll return to check on him in 10 minutes, and make sure to return as promised. Sleeping close to a sibling or pet can also help calm fears. Creative calm Parents employ a variety of creative tricks to help fearful kids, from imbuing a stuffed animal with magical powers to dousing a room with pretend “monster spray” to giving children a pretend sword for “protection.” These tactics can be effective for the preschool set, says licensed therapist Robert Turner of the Rose Sleep Disorders Center in Denver, Colorado. But beware: parents’ willingness to play along with fears in this way might convince a child that the fear is real. (“If mom thinks monsters are real, they must be real!”) Fear fix: For young children aged three to five, explore whether a transitional object like a special stuffed animal might help boost confidence and help a child fall asleep at bedtime, Turner says. But avoid reinforcing fear by hamming it up or acting afraid yourself. Right light Night frights are often sparked by

fear of the dark, according to Robert S. Rosenberg, D.O., medical director of the Sleep Disorders Centers of Prescott Valley and author of Sleep Soundly Every Night; Feel Fantastic Every Day. While babies under two lack the cognitive capacity to be truly afraid the dark—this comes later, when the “imagination” part of the brain takes off during the preschool years—darkness may intensify fears in older children, whether the child is scared of something pretend, like a goblin, or something potentially real, like a burglar. Fear fix: Flooding a fearful child’s bedroom with nighttime light can backfire; too much light at night can disturb circadian rhythms, intensifying insomnia or overtiredness. Place a small, dim nightlight in a corner of the room, away from a child’s face. Better yet, choose a night light with a red bulb, and avoid blue lights—research shows they disrupt sleep patterns, Rosenberg says. Rapid reframe Ultimately, the best approach is one that helps your child learn to manage fears long-term, says Walco. Help your child learn to take control of fearful, racing thoughts by reframing a scary mental image: a monster chasing your child with a knife (scary!) could become a friendly fairy chasing your child to offer an ice cream cone (sweet!). Arm your child with factual information, like the real causes of nighttime noises: spooky, creaky footsteps are really caused by your old floorboards, not an intruder. And practice self-calming strategies, like taking two deep breaths when afraid, or picturing a safe, enjoyable scene. When a child masters the skills needed to self-regulate and actively dial down fears, he’ll be more confident, self-assured, and emotionally resilient—for life.

Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three. Her latest book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades. WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM


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GARDENING By LELA MARTIN

Before

After

Saying Goodbye

Taking cuttings and removing overgrown shrubs Note: This is the second in a series of three articles about foundation plantings. In last month’s column, you learned how to prune shrubs to allow them to age in place. In an upcoming issue, you will learn how to design a replacement entry garden.

M

y own home was built as a “spec” home in the early ’90s and the front shrubs (installed by the builder) were illsuited and planted too close together. Twenty years later, my overgrown Nellie Stevens hollies cried out from their second-story height, “I’m hiding your house and probably interfering with its foundation.” If you’ve ended up with menacing treelike shrubs at the corners of your own house, you may want to remove and replant the entire foundation as I did. Cuttings Before you remove the shrubs, however, you may first want to take cuttings of your favorite healthy, disease-free plants. There are three main types of woody stem cuttings: softwood, semi-hardwood, and hardwood. These terms reflect the growth stage of the original plant when the cutting should be taken. (Note: A list of woody ornamentals and the optimal stage of tissue maturity for rooting their stem cuttings can be found at content.ces.ncsu.

edu/plant-propagation-by-stemcuttings-instructions-for-the-homegardener/). Softwood is the new soft growth when branches can be snapped easily when bent and there is a gradation of leaf size (that is, the new leaves are smaller than older leaves). This stage is usually in May, June or July. Softwood cuttings root quickly as long as they are kept moist. The softwood stage is ideal for taking cuttings of gardenias, for example. Semi-hardwood comes from the current season’s partially mature growth. This type of cutting is normally made from mid-July to early fall. Many broadleaf evergreen shrubs, such as azaleas, are propagated by this method. Hardwood cuttings are taken from mature stems when they are dormant in late fall, winter, or early spring. Hardwood cuttings are used most often for deciduous shrubs. Examples are forsythia, privet/ligustrum, and spirea. The propagation technique is

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similar for all three types of cuttings. Early morning is the best time to take cuttings. Select twigs or branches from the upper part of the plant. Slips should be 4 to 6 inches long. Use a thin knife or sharp pruning shears sterilized in rubbing alcohol or with Lysol spray. Remove any flowers or flower buds and the lower one-half of the leaves. If you are doing several cuttings, sterilize your knife or shears between cuts. Store cuttings in an ice chest or a plastic bag with wet paper towels to keep them moist. To propagate, you may use the bare stem or dip it in rootpromoting hormonal compounds (available at garden centers or online). You do not need a greenhouse for successful propagation by stem cuttings; however, you do need to maintain high humidity around the cutting. You can use a flower pot with a bottomless milk jug over it or place the pot into a clear plastic bag. If you’re propagating many cuttings, you could use plastic trays covered

with clear plastic over a wire frame. Remember to include drainage holes in the pot or tray bottoms. In addition to being well-drained, the rooting medium should be sterile and fertilizer-free. A good propagation medium differs from a potting medium. Media for propagation provides support, aeration, and drainage. It also has moisture-holding characteristics. These are usually soilless and composed of combinations of peat moss, perlite, vermiculite and sand. A mixture of one part peat moss and one part sand will work for many plants. Insert the cuttings onethird to one-half their length into the medium. At least one node (i.e., the point on a stem where leaves are attached and buds form) should be below the media surface. Make sure the buds are pointed up. Place in indirect light at temperatures around 70 degrees; mist to improve rooting. Typically, conifers require more time to root. Transplant rooted cuttings into containers or in a bed until the sci-

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“Saying Goodbye” continued from page 8 ons grow larger and hardier before transplanting them to a permanent location. Removal Unfortunately, the best option may be to remove overgrown or diseased foundation plants. How do you know when to let go? There are several indications: The shrub’s natural mature size is too large for the location. For example, the my Nellie Stevens hollies were growing to their mature size of 20 to 30 feet high with a spread of 10 to 15 feet! If your shrub is not a candidate for pruning and it interferes with power lines or gutters, blocks visibility of the road from a driveway, or covers the windows of a house, it should be removed. It has a terminal disease, such as black root rot in Japanese hollies, which causes yellowing of the leaves, leaf drop, and stunting. Note: Your local Virginia Cooperative Extension office can diagnose plant diseases if you bring in samples. The shrub is at the end of its natural lifespan. The general wisdom is that seven to 10 years is the expected useful life for large shrubs or small

trees used in landscaping if they are heavily managed or stressed. Horticulturists typically consider many shrubs older than 15 to 20 years as candidates for removal. For example, well-maintained Japanese hollies have a typical lifespan of 20 years. However, not all shrubs live just two decades; some shrubs have longevity of a century or more, such as Chinese fringe-flower (Loropetalum chinense) and boxwood. Typically, it makes sense to remove all of the foundation shrubs at once, even though some of the shrubs can be salvaged. The scale of 20-year-old shrubs next to those straight from the nursery is often “off.” Tree-like shrubs should be removed by reputable professional tree services. Your local Virginia Cooperative Extension office will provide you with a list of certified arborists; however, it cannot make a specific recommendation. Before hiring a contractor, check with the Better Business Bureau, get recommendations from neighbors, and/ or check references provided by the company. Ask for proof of insurance.

You will probably want the stump ground to a depth of 12 inches. You or the tree service should check with Miss Utility (call 811 or go to va811. com/) before starting this project. You could remove a smaller shrub be cutting it to the ground or digging it out. Suckering shrubs can be killed with an herbicide containing triclopyr or glyphosate. Follow label instructions, spraying the foliage. A brush killer should cause wilting in two to four weeks. Shrub stumps can be ground or dug out by hand. You may notice mushrooms and fungi in the area temporarily until the roots are completely decomposed. Don’t replant in the exact location of the previous plant, especially if the original died from a soilborne disease such as Verticillium wilt. Before planting any new shrubbery, take this opportunity to power wash, replace rotting siding, and/ or paint the exterior of your house. Enjoy the look of your home without those scary, overgrown ogres intimidating you and your guests.

Resources

Lela Martin is a Master Gardener with the Chesterfield County office of the Virginia Cooperative Extension.

“Verticillium Wilt of Trees and Shrubs” by Cynthia L. Ash, University of Minnesota Extension: http://www.extension. umn.edu/garden/yard-garden/treesshrubs/verticillium-wilt/

“Black Root Rot of Japanese Holly” by Mary Ann Hansen, Virginia Cooperative Extension: https://pubs.ext. vt.edu/450/450-606/450-606_pdf. pdf “Plant Propagation by Stem Cuttings: Instructions for the Home Gardener” by Ervin Evans and Frank Blazich, North Carolina Cooperative Extension: http:// content.ces.ncsu.edu/plant-propagation-by-stem-cuttings-instructions-forthe-home-gardener/ “Propagation by Cuttings, Layering and Division, Publication 426-002” by Diane Relf and Elizabeth Ball, Virginia Cooperative Extension: http://pubs.ext. vt.edu/426/426-002/426-002.html “Removing Trees and Shrubs, Publication H446R” by Beth Jarvis, University of Minnesota Extension: http://www. extension.umn.edu/garden/yard-garden/trees-shrubs/removing-trees-andshrubs/

Fright Night CELEBRATING 40 YEARS

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RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u OCTOBER 2015 u 9


RICHMOND’S PREMIERE LANGUAGE IMMERSION SCHOOL EXPANDS lifelong journey building friendships and connections. Immersion develops enhanced problem solving skills plus an appreciation of the world’s literature, art, music, culture and beauty. Heartwood Grove is a nonprofit, 501(c)(3) school welcoming students regardless of race, religion or ethnicity.

Heartwood Grove School 4301 Patterson Ave. Mailing address: PO Box 17644 Richmond, VA 23226 www.HeartwoodGrove.com

H

eartwood Grove School, Richmond’s only dedicated foreign-language immersion primary and middle school, has moved to a larger facility to begin the new school year. It has added to its curriculum a Spanish track and an elementary weekend Russian program for heritage speakers and beginners. The new location, on the campus of Patterson Avenue Baptist Church in the near West End, will bring added classroom space and flexibility to the school’s expanding offerings for elementary- to middleschool ages. Founded in 2011 as a French immersion school by executive director and teacher Laura Bice, its intensive program has developed students who score consistently in the top 5 percent on the National French Exam, including a first-place finish in 2014. “We offer a full academic curriculum with the added dimension of language immersion that greatly expands cognitive and cultural development,” said Bice. “We wanted to give an international educational opportunity not available in the metropolitan Richmond area. Our students are excited about

the world and learning about other people.” The school chose its languages based on a number of factors, including importance in the world, relevance to our community, and relative ease of acquiring proficiency. French, Spanish and Russian are three of six United Nations languages. French is spoken on five continents and is the second-moststudied language globally. It is one of the most powerful and influential languages, being an official language of the European Union, United Nations and World Health Organization. Spanish is the third-most-spoken language globally with over 400 million speakers and an evergrowing importance in the United States. Russian is a State Department designated “critical language,” important in International politics and business. Russia is the largest country in the world and Richmond has a growing Russian-speaking community. Though challenging, with a 33-letter phonetic alphabet, it is much easier than other “critical languages” to acquire. Giving the gift of language education to children sends then on a

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Spanish Immersion French Immersion Russian Weekend School Pre-Algebra & Algebra I Model United Nations

eartwood Grove School Elementary - Middle School Full Curriculum 4301 Patterson Avenue www.HeartwoodGrove.com welcoming students regardless of race, religion or ethnic origin.

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GROWING UP ONLINE BY CAROLYN JABS

PHOTO CREDIT: (c) www. hdwallpapers.link

Should Toys Talk to Kids?

H

aving a toy that can talk is a persistent childhood fantasy. Adults have been trying to bring that fantasy to life ever since Thomas Edison installed miniature, hand-cranked phonographs in porcelain dolls. Over the years, toy manufacturers have experimented with toys that say prerecorded phrases or tell entire stories when a child pulls a string or presses a button. More recently, toys have become truly interactive, equipped with software that makes them seem responsive to children. This fall, Mattel announced development of Hello Barbie, a new version of the iconic doll that, with the help of a WIFI connection, analyzes what a child says so Barbie can respond with something appropriate. Cognitoys has introduced a talking dinosaur named Dino that answers questions and responds to commands. Both toys are supposed to “learn” as a child uses them, so their responses become tailored to the child. These toys join a crowd of other talking toys ranging from a baby doll that can “read” 70 words to a “talk-back” doll that repeats what a child says in a squeaky voice, from programmable “pets” to radio-controlled robots. Some people think all this responsiveness has education-

al potential. One intriguing study found that children who played with toys programmed to say their names and other personalized information were more attentive when the toy presented unfamiliar material. At the same time, many experts continue to feel that young children in particular are better served by toys that allow the child to control the script. Playing is a way for children to work out their own ideas about the world, and it may be better for them to be the ones putting words in the mouths of their favorite stuffed animals, dolls and action figures. Some toys that seem amusing to adults may actually limit a child’s imagination. In short, parents will want to think carefully before purchasing the season’s most seductive talking toys. Here are some questions worth asking: Will the toy work? Nothing is more frustrating than a new gadget that doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do. Before choosing a talking toy, be sure your child is developmentally ready to manage the controls. Think about whether the toy will challenge or frustrate your child. Will it be too difficult to use without adult assistance? Consider durability too. Some talking toys

12 u RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u OCTOBER 2015

are fragile. A toy that breaks down or has technical glitches will interrupt the flow of play. Does the toy gather info about child? Whenever a toy connects to the cloud, parents have to assume that anything a child says in its presence is being recorded. What use will companies make of those recordings? The Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood worries that Hello Barbie will “eavesdrop” on children. “It’s creepy,” says executive director Dr. Susan Linn, “and it creates a host of dangers for children and families.” Others are concerned that toys which depend on wi-fi will become targets for hackers who have already demonstrated that they can manipulate talking dolls, baby monitors and other household equipment. To minimize security risks, parents should turn off toys when they aren’t in use and take advantage of any safeguards provided by the manufacturer. The makers of Dino, for example, allow parents to set up an account so they can monitor and, if necessary, delete what a child says to the toy. Is the toy a good role model? If a toy is going to have regular conversations with your child, you’ll want to be sure that what it says is consistent with what you want your child to hear. Some toys are surprisingly sassy. How will you feel if your child mimics the toy? Other toys embody exaggerated ideas about gender—hypermuscular action figures or heavily made up dolls. If a toy is going to function as a child’s friend, it should be a positive influence. Is the toy affordable? Interactive toys tend to be expensive. Talk-

ing Barbie, for example, will cost $75. Think about whether the price matches the play value of the toy. What else could you buy for the same money? Does the toy stimulate imaginative play? Talking toys are often onetrick ponies. The toy does the work, so your child becomes a passive consumer of entertainment. Once the novelty wears off, your child is likely to be bored, a sure-fire indication that the toy isn’t giving your child room to think and grow. Many child development experts believe that children benefit most from simple toys that give them open-ended opportunities to experiment and explore. If you decide to invest in interactive toys, be sure young children also have access to basics like blocks, puppets, puzzles and art supplies. School age children are often inspired by interactive toys, but not necessarily in the way that manufacturer intended. Some kids try to manipulate the toy to see if they can make it do outrageous things. If your child has that kind of inventive spirit, he or she might benefit more from a toy like Ozobot that puts programming power in the child’s hands. Finally, it’s important to understand the limitations of talking toys. Children need to become skilled with language because it’s the best way to share information, express feelings and build a sense of closeness with other people. Toys that talk may be clever and amusing but they cannot help a child develop understanding and empathy. That’s something they can learn only in the company of living, breathing, caring people.

Carolyn Jabs, M.A., raised three computer-savvy kids including one with special needs. She has been writing Growing Up Online for ten years and is working on a book about constructive responses to conflict. Visit www. growing-up-online.com to read other columns.

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12 surgeries, 27 medical bills, 108 nights in a hospital

today’s goal?

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Celebrating Lead Poisoning Prevention Week—October 25-31, 2015

The Richmond City Health District’s

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• Toy/consumer product testing for lead (bring up to 5 items to be tested)

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GIVEAWAYS

Saturday,October 24th Science Museum of Virginia Discovery Room

2500 W. Broad Street

10:00 am to 4:00 pm For additional information, call Rafiat Williams, 804-205-3731 or email: Rafiat.williams@vdh.virginia.gov

RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u OCTOBER 2015 u 13


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J

Seeking Help for Children with Mental Illness

arratt, Virginia, is a tiny rural town about an hour away from Richmond. Tucked away between the tobacco and cotton fields is a campus along the Nottaway River where you will find cottages, a school, a chapel and gym among its 130-acre setting. Celebrating 160 years of helping children and their families, Jackson-Feild Homes, an organization with humble beginnings as an orphanage, located on this historic site has transitioned over the years to what is now Jackson-Feild Behavioral Health Services (JFBHS), a Psychiatric Residential Treatment Center for adolescents. Our professional clinical team and school staff work with approximately 100 adolescents each year. As a nonprofit organization Jackson-Feild Behavioral Health Services is dedicated to healing children who suffer from trauma and mental illness. JFBHS is licensed by the Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Services and the Virginia Department of Education. Additionally, JFBHS is nationally accredited by the Council on Accreditation and is recognized as a Charity Seal Holder with the Better Business Bureau. We believe support of the family and family reunification is critical to the long term health of everyone. Our motto of “Hope, Help, and Heal” represents our goal for children so that they can return to their community and live healthy and productive lives. The effects of mental illness are serious to those who have a family member with a mental health diagnosis. If you have a child experiencing mental health issues, it is not difficult to understand how serious the impact can be on family members and the community. The impact of mental illness on families, communities and society is enormous. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 70 percent of youth in state and local juvenile justice systems are diagnosed with a mental illness. Twenty percent of adult state prisoners and 21 percent of local adult jail prisoners have had a recent history of a mental health condition. For additional information on mental illness, visit the website National Alliance on Mental Illness at www.nami.org.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness current statistics state: • 20 percent of children ages 13-18 have or will have a serious mental illness • Two-thirds of youth who have a mental health condition are not identified or do not receive treatment • Suicide is the third-leading cause of death in youth • 90 percent of youth who die by suicide have an underlying mental illness • 11 percent of children have a mood disorder • 10 percent of youth ages • 12 to 17 percent have used illicit drugs • 10 percent of youth have a behavior or conduct disorder • 8 percent of youth have an anxiety disorder Parents struggle in dealing with the symptoms associated with their child being ill. Many stories have been shared with the staff at Jackson-Feild expressing a parent’s pain and frustration of living in turmoil. Parents love their children and are at a loss as to how to help them. Often they have a child who has had years of treatment, yet the situation has gone from notable challenges to significant, uncontrollable issues. Perhaps their child is failing in school, truant or has been expelled from school. Possibly court involvement and substance abuse are now part of their daily lives. The household may be experiencing chaos and even violence due to the child needing treatment. Stories of families whose child’s life prior to treatment at Jackson-Feild is that of dealing with serious illness and mayhem. Intensive residential treatment can change the life of frustration and concern to stories of achievement and progress toward a healthy life. Anne’s mother shared her story. “Before Anne’s stay at Jackson-Feild, we experienced several years of violence and chaos with our daughter. Terrifying tantrums were a regular occurrence and she falsely accused our entire family of abuse. My husband and I

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feared our other children would be taken from us. For three years, we worked with therapists, social workers and psychiatrists but saw little improvement. Anne spent 18 months going through the revolving door of psychiatric hospitals. Since this was not bringing change to Anne’s life, we made the decision to send her to a residential treatment center, Jackson-Feild Behavioral Health Services. “The clinical team at Jackson-Feild understood our daughter’s needs. We were relieved to hear that though Anne’s issues were the result of a serious mental illness, there was hope that intensive treatment could change her life. Though we had been very supportive parents and tried to give her the best care we knew was available, Anne needed the intensive treatment provided in a residential setting. Not long after her admission, her illness was correctly diag-

nosed and Anne became stable. At that point, she could begin her therapy which would be the start of major improvements in her life. We were involved in every aspect of her treatment, participated in weekly family therapy and attended monthly parent education classes. Little by little our family bonds began to heal and we began to understand Anne’s illness and how to best manage the challenges it could present. “Anne made several visits home during her time at Jackson-Feild. After each visit, Anne’s therapist worked with our family to process what worked well and what could be improved during the home visits. Our anxiety of how our future home life would be upon Anne’s return began to ease as we saw our daughter making healthy, thoughtful choices as to her behavior. She took responsibility to express how she was feeling in appropriate

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ways so our family could calmly discuss how we could all work together to best work out the challenges of daily life. “After Anne completed her treatment and returned home we are proud to report she is doing incredibly well. She attends school regularly, is on the Dean’s List, is active in our church’s youth group and has now started working. Jackson-Feild made it possible for us to be a happy family again. We are so grateful for a happy ending.” Children exposed to trauma, which may include maltreatment, family violence and neglect, exhibit symptoms consistent with individuals diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders, varying mood disorders, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, depression and anxiety as well as other diagnoses. Developmentally, children are not yet able to process the complexities of their issues on their own. It is documented by the American Psychiatric Association that trauma can change brain chemistry. At Jackson-Feild Behavioral Health Services, we specialize in providing a myriad of evidence-based therapeutic treatment interventions which include but are not limited to; Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, psychological testing,

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization), Neurotherapy, Psycho-educational groups and STEPPS (Skills Training in Emotional Predictability in Problem Solving) as well as psychopharmacology and medication management. Many children experiencing mental health issues have not received treatment. Frequently, families are not familiar with how they can access services for their children. So where do parents turn? The National Alliance on Mental Illness recommends to first seek the help of a pediatrician or family physician. The physician can make an assessment and recommend a mental health professional to work with your child and the family. Often families need the help of their local Community Service Board or social service agency. Community Service Boards in Virginia provide mental health and substance-abuse assessment and services by working directly with clients. Access to information about your local community service board and services may be found at www.vacsb.org. While there are many community-based options for treatment available to families, sometimes the level of severity a child is presenting may require a more intense intervention such as intensive in-home therapy where services are rendered within the family environment

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working with a licensed therapist. What if your child has not responded to the options available in your community or parents need financial help to fund specialized services? Specialized services provided in a residential environment can be extremely beneficial yet expensive making it impossible for a family to afford. There is help in finding your way through the sea of criteria and regulations. Parents may contact their local socialservice agency, which can help them determine if their child is eligible for Medicaid funding. Medicaid is the largest single payer for behavioral health services in the United States. Nearly 12 million visits made to hospital emergency departments in 2007 involved individuals with a mental health or substance abuse problems or both. In recent years, Congress enacted several laws designed to improve access to mental

health and substance abuse disorder services under health insurance or benefit plans that provide medical/surgical benefits. Realizing the need for individuals to be able to have equal access for mental health services, Congress passed the Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act in 2008 which impacts millions of Medicaid beneficiaries participating in the Managed Care Organizations, state benefit plans and the Children’s Health Insurance Program. Parents who have higher income that prevents their family from qualifying for Medicaid benefits eligibility can still find help, as the child in need of treatment may qualify as a “family of one” under Medicaid criteria. Most social-service agencies will help parents apply for Medicaid. To access the contact information for Virginia Department of Social Services agencies in your area, visit their website www.dss.virginia.gov.

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For information on Medicaid, visit www. medicaid.gov. Jackson-Feild Behavioral Health Services is a longstanding institution that now provides high quality psychiatric residential services for adolescent boys and girls. Most adolescents who are admitted to the program have exhausted community-based treatment options and may have other residential treatment experiences but their serious emotional and behavioral issues are still having a detrimental impact on their lives. JFBHS employs a staff of well-seasoned, highly trained professionals and para-professionals that dedicate themselves to the goal of helping children and their families improve their lives. Tricia Delano, President and Chief Executive Officer, is one of those who has dedicated her life to our mission. Tricia joined Jackson-Feild in 1989 and has held various leadership positions within the organization prior to rising to the position of CEO which she has been for the last eight years. While navigating a course through the ever changing environment in children’s services one thing has remained true, according to her: “Compassionate care, clinical expertise and optimizing teachable moments to help children manage their emotions and behaviors literally changes the course of their lives.” Upon admission to Jackson-Feild, each child is assessed clinically and an Individual Service Plan is developed by members of the clinical team which include a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a nurse, a therapist, a case manager and behavioral specialists. Intensive, innovative and effective therapy is offered in a nurturing and structured environment. When indicated, psychological and neuropsychological testing is also conducted. In addition, thorough physical examinations are conducted by a consulting primary care physician on every resident admitted to Jackson-Feild. More than 90 percent of residents admit-

ted to Jackson-Feild suffer from moderate to severe levels of trauma. Jackson-Feild Behavioral Health Services specializes in the treatment of the multiple effects of trauma. The effects of trauma and inherent predisposing factors often result in presenting behavioral problems such as: • Aggressive behavior directed at people and personal property • Poor self-control • Running away • Impaired perception and reasoning • Substandard school attendance and performance • Suicidal and self injurious threats and attempts • Ineffective interpersonal skills • Severely disturbed relationships

Department of Education and is accredited by the Virginia Association of Specialized Educational Facilities. Each resident’s educational level is assessed to ensure we meet the individual education needs. Gwaltney School offers GED, Special Education, Middle and High School curriculums and online college courses. Our education department also offers vocational training and certification for students who wish to participate. Each child attends school, participates in many recreational activities, enjoys field trips, special events and other sporting activities. A Spiritual Program, though optional, is offered with non-denominational services on Sunday and vacation bible school each quarter. A curriculum in character education is offered to our

residents as well. We also offer integration of holistic practices such as Zumba, Tai Chi, meditation and yoga classes. The National Alliance on Mental Illness of Virginia has many resource guides to help parents access services for youth and adults. The Resource and Support tab on their website offers a printable document, “Navigating the System: A guide to Accessing Mental Health Services in Virginia”, which is a resource for individuals or family members seeking mental health services. This document was developed by the Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Services and National Alliance on Mental Illness Virginia.

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT

Jackson-Feild Behavioral Health Services’ programs and school, please visit us at www.jacksonfeild.org.

TO REFER A CHILD FOR ADMISSION,

please contact our Admissions Coordinator Lauren Barnes at (434) 634-3217, ext. 3027. You may also reach her at lbarnes@jacksonfeild.org.

Family involvement, when appropriate, and participation in family therapy is a critical piece of our residents’ therapeutic success. All efforts are made to involve family members so they may be part of their child’s progress and be involved in their continued support while in our care and when the child returns to the community. Recommendations will be made upon a child’s discharge from Jackson-Feild to follow up with mental health support services in the home community. Gwaltney School, located on our campus, is licensed by the Virginia

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Spooktacular Halloween Festival FridayTH

October 30

Want to be in our magazine? Visit www.richmondpublishing.com to reserve your ad space today!

THe Village green aT WesTcHesTer commons

6-10pm

Trick-or-Treating & costume contests for Kids and adults “Hotel Transylvania” showing on the Big 21-foot screen sponsored by ortho on-call and regal cinemas see “Hotel Transylvania 2” at regal Westchester commons stadium 16

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RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u OCTOBER 2015 u 19


Questions for Bill Pike

A longtime educator finds a second career in children’s books. ate your books? Nell brings life to the story. Her illustrations are the key for adding an extra dimension to the story. Nell is flexible and capable of making adjustments to the finest of details. She has a great eye for laying out the illustrations to match the text. It is pretty simple: No Nell, no book! How did you publish this book and where can people find it? We worked with a terrific local publisher, Wayne Dementi, from Dementi Milestone Publishing. “The Last Pumpkin” is available through his website, but also online at Barnes & Noble and Amazon. We also will be out in the Richmond community during October selling the book. What’s next for you as a writer? Well, our second seasonal book for children, “Murray and the Mudmumblers: The Christmas Benefit at the Haw River Ballroom,” was released last November. So, we are still working out marketing and selling details for this book and the upcoming holiday season. Nell and I have some ideas for a third book, but they are still in the formative stage at this point.

B

ill Pike is the author of several children’s books including “The Last Pumpkin,” the tale of a girl and a lonely pumpkin at Halloween that Times-Dispatch columnist Bill Lohmann called “a sweet tale for Halloween or any other day.” Pike worked in Virginia’s public schools for 31 years — 27 in Henrico County and four in Martinsville. He was a remedial reading teacher at Martinsville Jr. High School; an English teacher, coach, administrative aide and assistant principal at Hermitage High School (Henrico County); and principal at Lakeside Elementary School (Henrico County).

What inspired you to write “The Last Pumpkin”? Pike: The inspiration for writing “The Last Pumpkin” came from the large garden my parents had in their backyard when I was growing up, and from all the experiences I had working with students, parents, and faculties as an educator. What response or responses to the book most gratifies you? When a buyer conveys to you how much they enjoyed the book and the message it holds for each of us. We have had the privilege of reading the

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book in a number of school settings, and the interaction with the students especially their questions is always interesting. What responses to the book have surprised you? We’ve enjoyed learning that the our book has become a Halloween tradition for some teachers and families. The other interesting response is when a person tells us they shipped the book to family or friends overseas. How do you interact with the illustrator, Nell Chesley, as you cre-

Bill Pike is the director of facilities and administration at Trinity United Methodist Church. He can be reached at wapike1@gmail.com. WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM


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October

2015

Continuing Events “BUTTERFLIES LIVE!” at Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens: An indoor exhibit of butterflies from around the world: tropical butterflies feed, flutter and take flight all around. Explore their origins, preferred habitats and life cycles. Free with regular paid garden admission. Through Oct. 11. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. 1800 Lakeside Ave. Information: www.lewisginter.org. Halloween events at Kings Dominion. For its Halloween Haunt, the park promises blood-curdling special events and horrifying rides. Recommended for teens and up. Weekends, 7 p.m.-midnight. Through Oct. 31. For younger kids (under 54 inches tall), Kings Dominion offers The Great Pumpkin Fest, with a petting zoo, foam pit, pumpkin painting and more. Noon-5 p.m. on select Saturday and Sunday from Sept. 26 - Oct. 31. $22-$55. “Cycle Celebration.” A show of artworks presenting bicycles in all their glory including a full-sized bicycle painted by students. Through Oct. 31. Free. Uptown Gallery, 1305 W. Main St. Open 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Tuesdays-Saturdays. Information: (804) 353-8343.

Concert on the Lawn, featuring music from the Broad Street Ramblers, Jonathan “the Juggler” Austin, bounce house, food trucks, more. Free; donations support the Weekend Backpack Ministry, which gives food to hungry children on weekends. 4:30 p.m. Ginter Park Baptist Church, 1200 Wilmington Ave. Information: www.ginterparkBC.org or 359-2475.

Oct. 4

Jimmy Dean Music Festival with The Oak Ridge Boys. Join Donna Meade, Brad Spivey and the Honky Tonk Experience and more, starring the four-part harmonies and pop hits of The Oak Ridge Boys. Presented by the Henricus Foundation and The Dean Foundation; proceeds benefit The Children’s Education Fund at Henricus Historical Park. $37-$77. Carpenter Theatre, 600 E. Grace St. The Seventh Annual Short Pump Mile and Fun Run, Richmond’s largest timed youth road race. Participants receive race T-shirts, medals and refreshments. Awards to age group and overall winners. A 400-meter fun run (non-timed) is offered to children age 5 and younger who aren’t up to running a mile. Proceeds benefit community outreach programs. First heat at 7:45 a.m. Information: www.shortpumprace.com.

Through October 4

State Fair of Virginia Celebrate everything that makes Virginia great at the State Fair. The 2015 fair includes, as it always has, a wide variety of people, animals, shows, events and food. Also featured are concerts from acts including Jackass Flats and the Little River Band; a salute to Secretariat, the fabled racehorse; and a scavenger hunt. Through Oct. 4. Tickets $12-$25. 10 a.m-10 p.m. MondaySaturday; 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Sunday. The Meadow Event Park, 13111 Dawn Boulevard, Doswell. Information: 994-2800 or statefairva.org.

Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch. Explore the history of Berkeley Plantation as well as its corn maze. Maze included in regular admission; take-home pumpkins extra. Through November. $11 adults, $6 children. Berkeley Plantation, 12602 Harrison Landing Road, Charles City. Information: www.berkeleyplantation.com.

Foster a child: Potential foster parents are invited to an information session on fostering. 6 p.m. HopeTree Family Services, 3309 W. Hundred Road, Chester. Information: 545-1201.

Bo Burnham, who at 18 became the youngest person to record a half-hour Comedy Central special, presents his blend of stand-up, music and theater in his “Make Happy Tour.” $39.50. 8 p.m. Carpenter Theater, 600 E. Grace St. Information, tickets: etix.com.

Oct. 3

Oct. 8

Oct. 16

Open house at the historic Pleasant View African-American School, an early 20th century oneroom schoolhouse, during Eppington Heritage Day. 18430 River Road. Free. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Information: 751-4946 or www.visitchesterfieldVA. com. “Handmade Harvest” arts and craft show and used-book sale. Proceeds benefit youth programs. 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Trinity United Methodist Church, 903 Forest Ave.

Oct. 5

Seasonal flu-vaccine clinic presented by Westport Rehabilitation and Nursing Center. Chick-fil-A, 1529 N. Parham Road. 9 a.m.noon. Information: 287-8600.

Oct. 11

Luther Memorial School presents an open house for interested parents. 1301 Robin Hood Road, 1:30-3 p.m. Information: 3216420 or lmsrva.org.

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Oct. 13

James River Writers Conference, the largest conference for writers and readers in Central Virginia featuring world-renowned authors, agents, award-winning speakers and more over three days of events, workshops and discussions. Through Oct. 18. $305 (members $255). Information: jamesriverwriters.org.

Oct. 17

The Hot Club of Cowtown travels from Texas and brings its melange of hot jazz,

western swing, gypsy jazz and traditional music. $32. The Cultural Arts Center at Glen Allen, 2880 Mountain Road. Information: www.artsglenallen. com or 261-2787. HandsOn Day brings more than 1,000 community members from across the region to volunteer with more than 40 nonprofits at 60

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Let’s Go

October 2015 p.m. Free. Book People, 536 Granite Ave. Information: 748-1774.

Oct. 30

Monster Mash at Dorey Recreation Center brings s’mores, spooky stories by a bonfire, costume contest, crafts, candy, more. Free; concessions for purchase. 5-8 p.m., 2999 Darbytown Road. Information: bog09@henrico.us.

Oct. 31

Haunted Halloween at Patrick Henry’s Scotchtown, presented by Preservation Virginia. Family-friendly event featuring house tours, colonial games, trick-ortreating. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. $8; kids under 6 free. 16120 Chiswell Lane, Beaverdam. Information: preservationvirginia.org.

Oct. 8

“American Buffalo” by Pulitzer Prize winner David Mamet, starring Alan Sadler, Jeffrey Schmidt and Jesse Mattes. Quill Theatre’s basement location, 300 E. Broad St. Runs through Nov. 1. $15-$30. Information, tickets: www.quilltheatre.org. sites. 9 a.m.-1 p.m.; celebration follows at Hardywood Brewery. Information: www.handsonrva. org/handsonday.

with canned-food donation. 2-5 p.m. Patterson Avenue Baptist Church, 4301 Patterson Ave. Information: www.pattersonavenuebaptist.com

Ninth Annual 5K Eagle Challenge. Run or walk the certified course; also, a 1-mile fun run for kids. Proceeds benefit St. Edward-Epiphany School. $30/person or $95/ family. 10701 W. Huguenot Road. Information, registration: www.eagle5k.com.

Oct. 19

“Fright Night” to celebrate 40 years of Regency Square. Trick-or-treating at 3 p.m., followed by a kid-friendly Halloween movie at 5 p.m. Free. Regency Square Mall, 1420 N. Parham Road. Information: shopregencysqmall.com.

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“Paranormal Petersburg, Virginia and the Tri-Cities Area” author Pamela Kinney will discuss the region’s ghost stories, from 2-3 p.m. Free. Chop Suey Books, 2913 W. Cary St. Information: 422-8066.

Harvest Festival. Celebrate the harvest with the whole family: candle dipping, apple pressing, tractor rides and living-history exhibits. Live music, a Wild West Medicine Show, kids can pick pumpkins. Free; concessions for purchase. Noon-4 p.m. 3400 Mountain Road, Glen Allen. Information: tru08@henrico.us

Oct. 21

Oct. 18

Oct. 24

Talk and book signing: “Paranormal Petersburg” author Pamela Kinney will discuss the region’s ghost stories. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Chesterfield County Central Library, 9501 Lori Road. Information: 748-1774.

“Trucks: The Workhorses of the Modern World.” From Model T’s to semis, the “truck” has come a long way. Join Morris Cameron, the Richmond Region AACA and the Old Dominion Historical Fire Society for a presentation and examples of antique trucks and fire engines. Free. 2-3:30 p.m. Dorey Recreation Center, 2999 Darbytown Road. Information: nol@henrico.us

Lead Awareness Week Kickoff Fair presented by the Richmond City Health District. Testing of toys and consumer products, lead poisoning prevention, health screenings, free flu vaccinations, refreshments, more. Science Museum of Virginia, 2500 W. Broad St. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Free. Information: 2053731 or rafiat.williams@vdh.virginia.gov.

Fall Festival with pumpkin patch, clowns, a petting zoo, costume contest, inflatables, door prizes and more. Free admission

Talk and book signing: “Paranormal Petersburg” author Pamela Kinney will discuss the region’s ghost stories, 3-5

Oct. 24

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Oct. 17

Midlothian Village Day Festival and Craft Fair featuring a parade, crafts, games, inflatables, raffles, more. Proceeds benefit local charities. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Midlothian Middle School, 13501 Midlothian Turnpike. Information: midlothianfestival.net.

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Eve pac a HU ry ye ked GE ar h sho succ as b wro ess een om wit of e h a xhib itor s

20th Annual Summer of Fun Camp & Education Fair

A great opportunity to exhibit your camp, business or school to Richmond area families!

Saturday, February 6th, 2016 • 10am - 3:00pm The Place at Innsbrook

4036 Cox Road • Glen Allen, Virginia 23060

• Gain Great Visibility • Generate NEW Business • Our Fair is Heavily Promoted & Draws Big Crowds

I

I-F W E E FR

Hurry! Every year has SOLD OUT!

Spaces are limited and filling fast!

Send in your registration and payment today to guarantee placement. For questions call (804) 673-5215, visit www.RichmondParents.com, or email mfetter@richmondpublishing.com.

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