November 2015 | Richmond Parents Monthly by The Beacon Newspapers

Parents’ First Choice For 25 Years!

November 2015 • Priceless

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Caston Studio

Portraits With Distinction Class of 2014 70 proofs or more 5 changes of clothes outdoor studio, many extras NO sitting fees!

Address: 9000 Quioccasin Rd Richmond, VA 23229 Phone: (804) 754-2800 E-mail: info@castonstudio.com Web: www.castonstudio.com

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Heartwood Grove School

LUTHER MEMORIAL SCHOOL

French Immersion | Arts Focused Now enrolling pre-k — elementary

www.HCAVirginia.com • 804-320 DOCS

HeartwoodGrove.com

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Parents’ First Choice For 25 Years!

From the Editor by Greg Weatherford

It is so easy to get things these days. The miracle of capitalism, as powerful a force as any culture has ever created, makes it possible to order a shirt and get it the next day, to order a meal and get it in 30 minutes, to order a movie or a book and get it in milliseconds. Waiting for something has become a form of torture for most of us. We lean into our screens, desperate to distract ourselves from the torment of unplanned time. We grouse when we have to wait in line for something, when we’re told to wait for an operator, when our on-demand videos don’t appear on demand. No wonder so many of our kids are irritable when they don’t get what they want when they want it. The entire society has been constructed to make that feeling unpleasant, if not intolerable. In her cover story this month, Richmond writer and mom Becky Suder examines how to teach kids to be grateful for what they have, not simply for what they just got. Take a look and let us know what you think. Are your kids grateful? How can we teach them gratitude — or can we? Write me at rpmeditor@richmondpublishing.com to share your thoughts. And happy Thanksgiving from all of us at Richmond Parents Monthly!

the magic of comes to life

On the Cover: Photo courtesy of www.alphamom.com.

contents NOVEMBER 2015

Gardening

Grateful

Designing stunning entry gardens.

In the Thanksgiving season, a mom reflects on teaching her kids gratitude.

Growing Up Online

Page to Screen

Let’s Go!

Dealing with distractions.

Read the books, watch the movies — together.

What to do and where to go.

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Editor: Greg Weatherford rpmeditor@richmondpublishing.com Art Director: Jennifer Sutton jsutton@richmondpublishing.com NATIONAL HARBOR, MD

| (301) 965-4000

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Contributing Writers: Lela Martin, Carolyn Jabs, Greg Weatherford

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Editorial Mission: Richmond Parents Monthly is dedicated to providing parents and professionals with the best information and resources available to enhance all aspects of parenting and family life. It is also an avenue to facilitate a shared sense of community among parents by providing useful information, support and a forum for dialogue on issues that are important to all parents and families. Richmond Parents Monthly is published 12 times a year and distributed free of charge. The advertising deadline is the 10th of each month for the upcoming issue. Richmond Parents Monthly welcomes reader comments and submissions; however, the publication is not responsible for unsolicited materials. All materials received become the property of the publisher and will not be returned. We reserve the right to edit any material used for publication. The entire content of Richmond Parents Monthly is ©2015. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express written consent of the publisher. The views and opinions expressed by writers and columnists do not necessarily represent those of Richmond Parents Monthly or its staff.

How to reach us Richmond Parents Monthly 8010 Ridge Rd, Suite F Henrico, VA 23229 PH: 804-673-5203 FX: 804-673-5308 mail@richmondpublishing.com

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Every month, an average of 75,000 readers enjoy Richmond Parents Monthly which is distributed in over 425 locations throughout the metro area. These locations include all CVS stores, McDonald’s, Kroger stores, medical centers, retail outlets, museums, and bookstores as well as many public libraries. Richmond Parents Monthly is regularly advertised on television. This creates a demand for the magazine and increases visibility and reader recall. Richmond Parents Monthly is also represented at numerous community events throughout the year.

RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015 u 5

Parents’ First Choice For 25 Years!

From the Editor by Greg Weatherford

the magic of comes to life

On the Cover: Photo courtesy of www.alphamom.com.

contents NOVEMBER 2015

Gardening

Grateful

Designing stunning entry gardens.

In the Thanksgiving season, a mom reflects on teaching her kids gratitude.

Growing Up Online

Page to Screen

Let’s Go!

Dealing with distractions.

Read the books, watch the movies — together.

What to do and where to go.

PEPSI_H1_NB_SM_4C (FOR USE .25” 1.5" ) CMYK

PRESENTED BY

PEPSI_H1_NB_MEDIUM_4C (FOR USE 1.5" TO 4") CMYK

Volume 25, No. 11, NOVEMBER 2015

CMYK

Packages from $199* including UNLIMITED ENTRY to ICE!

ChristmasOnThePotomac.com

Founder/Publisher: Mark E. Fetter mfetter@richmondpublishing.com

• NEW - The Elf on the Shelf® Scavenger Hunt • Fountain shows and indoor nightly snowfall • Gingerbread Decorating Corner sponsored by PEEPS® and much more...

Editor: Greg Weatherford rpmeditor@richmondpublishing.com Art Director: Jennifer Sutton jsutton@richmondpublishing.com NATIONAL HARBOR, MD

| (301) 965-4000

Contributing Writers: Lela Martin, Carolyn Jabs, Greg Weatherford

PRESENTED BY

WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM

How to reach us Richmond Parents Monthly 8010 Ridge Rd, Suite F Henrico, VA 23229 PH: 804-673-5203 FX: 804-673-5308 mail@richmondpublishing.com

How to advertise with us Contact our Publisher mfetter@richmondpublishing.com

RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015 u 5

Gardening DESIGNING AN ENTRY GARDEN by Lela Martin

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o you remember the line of shrub balls people planted to camouflage the foundation of their houses? Many designers now consider the area in front of the house as an entry garden used to complement the house, welcoming homeowners and guests and serving as a space for entertainment. Designing an entry garden is an opportunity to enhance the appearance and functionality of your home. Fall is a great time to plant most trees and shrubs. Garden centers often have an excellent selection and good pricing now as well. Design Considerations When embarking on this project, do some thinking before planting. Don’t just leave it to the builder or select a plant because it’s “pretty.” There are several considerations when designing your entry garden. The style you want. The style of your landscaping is often determined by the style of your house. Personal taste is another determiner. For example, I prefer the front foundation plants to be formal, tidy, and trimmed, but I’m more inclined to

favor a looser look in the backyard. The amount of time you want to spend on your landscaping. Do you want to plant something and forget about it or do you enjoy the care it takes to raise roses successfully, for example? Your budget. Do you want to design your entry garden or will you hire a landscape designer? Are you satisfied with more common, less expensive varieties or do you have the budget for many plants and expensive specimens? If you have champagne taste but a beer budget, you could prepare an overall design but plant it in stages. Your goals. It could be to use less water, attract wildlife such as birds and beneficial insects, reduce your lawn area, select native plants, screen your front door from the neighbors. What are your goals? Conditions. These include the light, water, and soil in your planting bed. Do you need to amend the soil, provide irrigation, or remove trees for more light? Critters and disease. If you have a deer problem, select plants that are deer resistant, remembering that

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nothing is deerproof! If a previous shrub died of a root disease, you probably should not replant the same thing in that same location. Plant material availability at local garden centers. A neighbor researched trees, but found that her first few choices were not available locally. Can you locate the plants you desire? Existing or preferred hardscaping. Are you planting on either side of a sidewalk? Do you want dry-stacked stone to support

straight or curved. In general, soft curves and horizontal lines are more restful than jarring diagonals or vertical lines. Structure and Form: Plant material comes in an amazing array of shapes. Evergreens provide structure throughout the year. Hardscaping, whether low walls or patios, also creates structure in this outdoor “room.” Texture: Plants also come in a variety of textures. Those that are rough or coarse are typically informal and visually dominant. For example, leatherleaf mahonia can be dramatic when paired with rugged stone. A fine textured plant such as boxwood may give a more elegant and traditional look set against smooth brick. Color: For an entry garden, you should consider the colors of your home: the paint, brick, and roof. Consider using accents of chartreuse, burgandy, or variegated plants to spice up the mid-tone green of most shrubs.

Design Elements If you have removed overgrown foundation plants, live with the empty space for a little while. Starting with a clean slate helps you envision what you want to include. Keep these elements in mind as you plan. Line: The eye follows the line you make in a garden. For an entry garden, the line should invite people toward the front door. The lines between the lawn and garden should be pleasing to the eye, whether

Design Principles As with the design elements, the design principles guide all design; however, there are some special considerations in landscape design. You should be cognizant of how a garden can stimulate all five senses. Part of the joy of designing a garden is considering the visual beauty of a Sarah Bernhardt peony, the chirping of birds at a feeder or the gurgling of a water feature, the fragrance of a gardenia, the fuzzy leaf of a lamb’s ear, or the taste of basil from an herb garden. Simplicity and Variety: Limit the number of different types of plants and materials in order to gain the maximum effect of each. The use of odd numbers (1, 3, or 5) is more pleasing to the eye. More is not always better. Limit yourself to one accent plant in a small foundation garden. Balance: Balance refers to the visual weight of the landscaping. It can be formal/symmetrical or informal/asymmetrical, which uses unequal sizes (continued on page 10)

soil on a slope? Sentimental reasons. You don’t have to say good-bye to everything. Take cuttings of favorite (healthy but overgrown) plants you want to incorporate in the new design before you remove them. You might include shrubs transplanted from a parents’ home as my neighbor did. You might feature plants based on sentimental reasons as I did. My husband met and were married at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg. We were thrilled to find boxwoods that started as cuttings from the garden of the college president.

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RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015 u 7

Gardening DESIGNING AN ENTRY GARDEN by Lela Martin

 

 



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RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015 u 7

Grateful

“Grateful” continued from page 8 times and on the one-millionth-and-first time, they said it without me asking … and my job was done. Kidding. There is always more teaching required. When my son Beau was 3 years old we had a birthday party for him. A few hours before the guests arrived I talked to him about the fact that people would be bringing him gifts and that he was to express to them the proper gratitude both for their gift and their presence at his party. “Like what should say, Mama?” Beau asked. I told him to say something like, “It’s perfect, exactly what I wanted.” Two hours later Beau opened eighteen vastly different presents and before he could even finish unwrapping each one he was smiling maniacally saying, “It’s perfect exactly what I wanted!” Like I said, there is always more teaching required but it was the beginning of being grateful.

IN THE THANKSGIVING SEASON, A MOM REFLECTS ON TEACHING HER KIDS GRATITUDE

by Becky Suder

PHOTO CREDIT: (c) www.secureteen.com

face it, if you aren’t grateful then your kids are going to have a hard time making grateful happen themselves. If traffic is always in the way or there are too many people in line at the bank or someone is always out to get you then you are probably not very grateful. If you hate your boss and can’t stand your husband and you are talking bad about all your friends behind their back then you are probably not very grateful. If you never even see your waiter or look a cashier in the eyes then you are probably not a very grateful person yourself and your kids are going to follow suit. Don’t miss out. Life on the grateful side of life can be full of amazing interactions, beautiful views and interesting people.

Count Your Blessings

Nineteen years ago Oprah asked us to write down five things we were grateful for in our gratitude journals and men and women around the world rushed to Barnes and Noble to buy spiral bound books to write in. As silly as it sounds, it works. Count your blessings. Don’t have any? Wrong. If you are reading this paper, well, you can read, and that’s blessing number one. If you are reading this paper, it’s probably because you have a kid and that’s blessing number two. If you are reading this paper you have the time and luxury to be reading for pleasure and that’s blessing number three. Blessings abound when you’re not taking for granted things that you should be grateful for. Teaching children how to be grateful won’t happen in one birthday party, and it won’t happen in one year or one lesson because teaching a child to be grateful is a life long lesson. Like most lessons worth learning it takes time and effort and like most lessons it’s a gift they can carry for the rest of their lives if they truly do learn it. They’ll be ever so grateful for the gift. Isn’t that the point and if you’ve taught them really well you might even get a handwritten thank you note. But don’t hold your breath.

Make Them Aware

Where did they shower? How could their kids come over if they had no house to come to? Where did their mail get delivered to and where did they eat dinner?

— because he thought up until that point everybody had a kitchen to cook in. I never saw a boy so grateful to come home to his own bed that night and as he lay in it he said he felt guilty for all the good he had in his life but he was grateful. I never had to say a word for him to get it. But we don’t spend every day

in her grubby little hands. Gratitude is simple, really: It’s about being aware of others and of the sacrifices they make for us and the gifts they bring to the table. Gratitude is about being aware of our surroundings and what we are given freely without even asking for: the kaleidoscope of colors in the trees in fall, the silvery beauty of

Greed has nothing to do with grateful. volunteering. So how can we teach kids to be grateful when the truth is we are not born with shiny halos around our heads and bright white wings at the back of our shoulders? We are not born thanking someone for what we have but we are born thinking what more can we get? Witness every toddler in every sandbox who ever grabbed for another dump truck while she clutched five already

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a spider web or the smell of freshly mowed grass. It’s about being aware of the bounty of good things in our lives that are just there on the other side of the pillow waiting for us when we wake up.

Be Grateful Yourself

Gratefulness is a habit we can choose to cultivate or not, but let’s

You Have to Teach Them I might have said, “Say thank you,” to my kids about a million

WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM

Becky Suder is a Richmond mother and writer whose work appears often in parenting publications. PHOTO CREDIT: (c) www.abcnews.com

hen my son Donovan turned 7 we started volunteering, serving dinner to the homeless women in our community every Christmas. It didn’t take long for Donovan to truly understand the word homeless after he had served and sat down with 80 women who actually were. He could barely sit for all the questions he had:

Small children don’t even know what to be grateful for because, let’s face it, the food in front of them just keeps magically appearing time after time, and in some houses if they don’t like what appears, shortly thereafter something better appears. In most houses, the kids’ toys get magically cleaned up and their beds get made. I’m not suggesting you get your babies out there making up beds but certainly your toddler can be put to work as your “helper” so they start to see the effort required to put together a good meal and keep a clean home. Know this: If your children get whatever they want, whenever they want, they are going to be ruled by a greater ruler than gratitude, and that ruler is greed. Greed has nothing to do with grateful.

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RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015 u 9

Grateful

IN THE THANKSGIVING SEASON, A MOM REFLECTS ON TEACHING HER KIDS GRATITUDE

by Becky Suder

PHOTO CREDIT: (c) www.secureteen.com

Count Your Blessings

Make Them Aware

Where did they shower? How could their kids come over if they had no house to come to? Where did their mail get delivered to and where did they eat dinner?

8 u RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015

Be Grateful Yourself

Gratefulness is a habit we can choose to cultivate or not, but let’s

You Have to Teach Them I might have said, “Say thank you,” to my kids about a million

WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM

Becky Suder is a Richmond mother and writer whose work appears often in parenting publications. PHOTO CREDIT: (c) www.abcnews.com

WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM

RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015 u 9

“Designing an Entry Garden” continued from page 6 and numbers of plants and other elements in equilibrium. Style: The style of the landscaping should be in harmony with the style of a home. A formal entry garden would be appropriate for a brick Georgian, for example. Unity: Use plants that work together harmoniously. Repeating plants, building materials, and forms tie a garden together. Scale: Keep the size of the plants in scale with the size of the house. A huge magnolia tree would look majestic beside a large colonial but could dwarf a one-story bungalow. Also you should consider replacing all of the foundation plants as replacing just a few shrubs could give a haphazard appearance with the scale of the plants out of kilter. Emphasis: Include a specimen or accent plant in your design for emphasis. Design Selections Designing with living plant material means that the landscape will not be static. Plants change over time. If you are replacing foundation shrubbery or planting it for the first

time, you should ensure that the new selections will be able to age in place gracefully. Research the full-grown size of trees and shrubs; however, shrubs and trees usually transplant better when they are smaller. Select plant material to be interesting in all four seasons. Remember to be aware of the conditions in your yard and the needs of each plant. Trees: Trees frame a house and provide the backdrop of your landscape. Shrubs: Select shrubs that will remain low and require little pruning. Typically, landscaping uses evergreen shrubs; however, deciduous shrubs that provide interesting bark, berries, or branching habits can also be used. Groundcovers: You can use groundcovers to provide continuity throughout a landscape. They also make a nice edging for the lawn. Perennials and Annuals: Keep the design elements in mind as you select perennials, annuals, and bulbs. Herbaceous plants can add color and interest. Make selections of flowering plants with long-lasting blooms. You may want to use pots and urns

to change out annuals throughout the year providing seasonal interest. For example, you can use white begonias in summer and yellow pansies in fall, winter, and spring. Design Steps If you’re working with a designer, let him/her know your preferences. The more information you share, the happier you will be with the outcome. If you’re interested in doing your own design, follow these steps: Do some research. Look in books and on the internet. Pick the brains of Master Gardeners (just call your local Virginia Cooperative Extension), neighbors, or garden center employees. Visit a garden center for inspiration and to read hang tags on plants you like. Be guided by the design considerations, elements, and principles. Draw a plan on graph paper or your computer. You can experiment with the shape of mulch beds by laying out a garden hose or using spray paint (the type that’s safe for marking athletic fields). Find your selections locally or order them online. Plant your trees, shrubbery, and perennials using recommended

Naughty

CELEBRATING 40 YEARS OF HOLIDAY SHOPPING!

Saturday, november 21

techniques. Do not plant too close to the foundation of the house. Refer to Virginia Cooperative Extension Publication 430-295. Enjoy your beautiful entry garden!

RESOURCES “Foundation Plantings” by Karen Russ and Bob Polomski, Publication HGIC 1702, Clemson Cooperative Extension: http://www.clemson. edu/extension/hgic/plants/other/ landscaping/hgic1702.html “Tree and Shrub Planting Guidelines” by Bonnie Lee Appleton, Susan French, and reviewer David Close, Publication 430-295, Virginia Cooperative Extension: https://pubs.extvt.edu/430/430295/430-295.html

Nice?

It’s a shopper’s delight this holiday season at Regency Square! 16 new pop-up retailers typically found in Downtown and Carytown are coming to Regency Square including LaDiff and Viva La Local, among others. Swing on by and find out if you’re on Santa’s nice list! Ladles and Linens Walkabout Outfitter Fido Park Avenue Dog Boutique CaryTown Tea

Caston Studio Richmond Window Corp. By Invitation Only Serendipity & Grace

per year

FOR YOUR HOME DELIVERY

Send payment, Name & Address to: Richmond Parents Subscription 8010 Ridge Road, Suite F Henrico, VA 23229 For more information

call 673-5203

eartwood Grove School Elementary - Middle School Full Curriculum 4301 Patterson Avenue www.HeartwoodGrove.com welcoming students regardless of race, religion or ethnic origin.

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sInCe 1977 (804) 288-4827 37 PhySiCiAnS • 8 LoCAtionS • VACArdio.Com

For additional information please visit us online at www.shopregencysqmall.com. Have fond memories of Regency Square 1975-present? Email your story to TellYourRegencyStory@thalhimer.com.

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For over 36 years, the physicians at Virginia Cardiovascular Specialists have served central Virginia. And while our expertise and experience set us apart, it’s the personalized care we provide that makes us central Virginia’s choice for heart health.

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Spanish Immersion French Immersion Russian Weekend School Pre-Algebra & Algebra I Model United Nations

Lela Martin is a Master Gardener with the Chesterfield County office of the Virginia Cooperative Extension.

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Naughty

CELEBRATING 40 YEARS OF HOLIDAY SHOPPING!

Saturday, november 21

techniques. Do not plant too close to the foundation of the house. Refer to Virginia Cooperative Extension Publication 430-295. Enjoy your beautiful entry garden!

Nice?

Caston Studio Richmond Window Corp. By Invitation Only Serendipity & Grace

per year

FOR YOUR HOME DELIVERY

Send payment, Name & Address to: Richmond Parents Subscription 8010 Ridge Road, Suite F Henrico, VA 23229 For more information

call 673-5203

eartwood Grove School Elementary - Middle School Full Curriculum 4301 Patterson Avenue www.HeartwoodGrove.com welcoming students regardless of race, religion or ethnic origin.

ImprovIng vIrgInIa’s

CardIaC HealtH one Heart at a tIme

sInCe 1977 (804) 288-4827 37 PhySiCiAnS • 8 LoCAtionS • VACArdio.Com

For additional information please visit us online at www.shopregencysqmall.com. Have fond memories of Regency Square 1975-present? Email your story to TellYourRegencyStory@thalhimer.com.

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POP-UP RETAIL BEGINNING NOVEMBER 27TH

Palette Paint and Home JET x AMFM LaDiff Cynthia Steele

Spanish Immersion French Immersion Russian Weekend School Pre-Algebra & Algebra I Model United Nations

Lela Martin is a Master Gardener with the Chesterfield County office of the Virginia Cooperative Extension.

SANTA ARRIVES AT REGENCY SQUARE AT NOON!

Viva La Local The Cultural Arts Center at Glen Allen i’Collection Project 1

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Growing Up Online

12 surgeries, 27 medical bills, 108 nights in a hospital

DEALING WITH DISTRACTION PHOTO CREDIT: (c) http://www.multiplemayhemmamma.com

by Carolyn Jabs

any parents are conscientious about making rules for when and how kids can use technology. But what about rules for parents? For her book, The Big Disconnect, Catherine Steiner-Adair, a psychologist at Harvard, interviewed more than 1,000 children aged 4-18. Over and over, she heard kids talk about how they felt frustrated or forlorn because their parents spent too much time on their cellphones. The same results showed up in the State of the Kid Survey, done by Highlights Magazine in 2014. Over half the children surveyed reported that their parents often didn’t respond to them because they were distracted by technology — laptops, cellphones or television. Several researchers have observed that interacting with technology is different from other parenting activities like cooking, shopping or even driving in ordinary traffic. Cellphones, in particular, are designed to grab and hold attention, so people lose track of other things including how much time they’ve spent staring at the device. E-mailing, texting or even scrolling through social media preoccupies parents in a way that can make children feel shut out, lonely and unimportant. At the same time, giving kids con-

stant undivided attention isn’t possible or desirable. Children need to learn how to sooth and amuse themselves. They benefit from opportunities to play and daydream without the direct supervision of adults. Also, good parenting can’t happen in a vacuum. Adults must earn a living and stay informed. They are also likely to be more grounded and happier if they stay connected to colleagues, friends and other parents, something that’s supported by new technologies. In other words, cellphones and other technological distractions aren’t a problem in and of themselves. They become a problem when parents aren’t mindful about how they distribute their most precious resource—attention. Here are things to consider: Focus on safety. After years of decline, visits to pediatric emergency rooms have risen. No one can prove cellphones are responsible but research shows that adults who use cellphones while walking, much less driving, are more likely to have accidents. For safety’s sake, parents (and other caregivers) should put away all devices when supervising kids in risky settings — changing tables, bathtubs, parking lots, city streets, swimming pools and playgrounds — where even a moment of inatten-

12 u RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015

tion can be dangerous. Make the most of reunions. Adair recommends putting devices on hold when family members see each other after they’ve been separated. Make yourself fully available when you pick your child up from daycare or other activities and when someone (including your spouse!) walks into the house. Plan ahead so you can stop what you’re doing and let your child know how happy you are to see him or her. Teach (and appreciate) patience. There’s nothing wrong with asking a child to wait while an adult finishes a task. How long a child can be patient depends upon age, temperament and other stresses, so you’ll want to take those variables into account when you ask for “just a sec” to finish something on our phone or laptop. Be sure not to take advantage of your child’s self-control. If you promised to get a snack or play a game in 10 minutes, set a timer so you keep your commitment. And thank your child for being patient. Respect tech free zones. Many families enjoy each other’s company more if they put technology offlimits at particular times. Meals and bedtime are obvious choices but you might also set aside time for a walk after dinner or game night on the weekend. Some families make the car a tech-free zone, but others depend on tech to relieve the stress of a long commute. Once you decide on rules that make sense for your family, be sure you follow as well enforce them. Before checking in with a ping that seems urgent, think about what you’re telling your children about their place in your priorities. Monitor emotions. Do you feel irritated when your child wants your attention? In one recent study, researchers observed caregivers and children in a restaurant. Most of the adults used a cellphone during the meal, and those who were most focused on their phones responded harshly to interruptions. Some kids gave up and sat passively, but oth-

ers became more disruptive in an effort to get the adult’s attention. If negative feelings are building in you or your child, it’s time to take a tech break and tune in to what’s happening. Take a breath and focus on your child. If you have to correct misbehavior, feel compassion for what has caused it. Notice what your child is doing right. Ask yourself what you can do to restore good feelings. Make good use of found time. Even when life is very busy, there are moments of unclaimed time. Your toddler is napping. Your school age child is playing happily with a friend. Your teen is engrossed in homework. Use these moments on something that will replenish and not deplete your energies. If you reach for your device, be selective. Answer the e-mail that’s weighing on your conscience. Reach out to the friend who lifts your spirits. Pay attention to your feelings. Does a hit of social media feel refreshing? Or would you be better served using found time on exercise, crossing off something on the to-do list or daydreaming with a cup of tea? Finally, think about times in your life when you have felt treasured and loved. In all likelihood, you had another person’s full attention. Be sure your child regularly has that experience in your company. Read together. Share a snack. Take a walk. Play a game. Snuggle before bedtime. What you do doesn’t matter nearly as much as the fact that you let go of everything else so your child can feel the security and warmth of your undistracted love. @ Copyright, 2015, Carolyn Jabs. All rights reserved.

today’s goal?

ONE LAUGH Since 1980, the Ronald McDonald House of Richmond has kept families close, providing them with a place to stay while their children receive medical treatment in the Richmond area. While we can’t fix everything, with your help, we can continue to give families in need a sense of hope, comfort and home. Visit us online or on Monument Avenue today to see how you can help.

• Brakes, shock & Struts • Wheel Alignments • Wheel Balance • State Inspections

Victory Christian Academy Teaching and Learning Without Compromising the Word of God est. 1985

(804) 262-8256

35 Years In Operation

●

www.vca-edu.org

Community Service In 2015 over 1,500 volunteer hours

Average National Percentile Rank for VCA Students in:

High School are 86% Middle School are 86% Elementary are 88% HIGHER than the National Norm Group in Reading, Language & Math

2015-Seniors received over $580,000 in academic scholarships (there are 11 students in the class)

Carolyn Jabs, M.A., raised three computer-savvy kids including one with special needs. She has been writing Growing Up Online for ten years and is working on a book about constructive responses to conflict. Visit www.growing-up-online. com to read other columns. WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM

• FREE computerized electrical test • FREE diagnostic with repairs • Oil/Filter change • A/C service

Victory Christian Academy 8491 Chamberlayne Road Richmond, VA 23227

WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM

RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015 u 13

Growing Up Online

12 surgeries, 27 medical bills, 108 nights in a hospital

DEALING WITH DISTRACTION PHOTO CREDIT: (c) http://www.multiplemayhemmamma.com

by Carolyn Jabs

12 u RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015

today’s goal?

• Brakes, shock & Struts • Wheel Alignments • Wheel Balance • State Inspections

Victory Christian Academy Teaching and Learning Without Compromising the Word of God est. 1985

(804) 262-8256

35 Years In Operation

●

www.vca-edu.org

Community Service In 2015 over 1,500 volunteer hours

Average National Percentile Rank for VCA Students in:

High School are 86% Middle School are 86% Elementary are 88% HIGHER than the National Norm Group in Reading, Language & Math

2015-Seniors received over $580,000 in academic scholarships (there are 11 students in the class)

• FREE computerized electrical test • FREE diagnostic with repairs • Oil/Filter change • A/C service

Victory Christian Academy 8491 Chamberlayne Road Richmond, VA 23227

WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM

RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015 u 13

Page to Screen

Custom Homes • Additions Renovations • Remodeling

25 CAN’T-MISS STORIES FOR FAMILY BOOK-AND-MOVIE TIME by Cindy Hudson

t’s family movie night. Mom, dad, and the kids are relaxing on the couch, watching a film they can all enjoy and talk about when it’s over. All too often, the reality is that parents settle for watching movies they will tolerate because they know their kids will love them. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There’s fun to be found in reading the book first as a family, and watching the movie together when you’re done. Comparing the two and noting any differences help kids develop skills in critical analysis, something they will almost certainly be asked to do in school. Here’s a list of 25 titles perfect for reading the book and then watching on the home movie screen. They are organized by age group, but since these stories have intergenerational appeal, teens are likely to enjoy the book/movie combos for younger kids too.

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by Cressida Cowell/movie from 2010-An entire community changed when a boy and a dragon saw past old feuds. “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs” by Judi Barrett/ movie from 2009-In Chewandswallow everyone eats what fall from the sky. Good for multiple readings as kids get more of the subtle humor as they grow. “Nanny McPhee: The Collected Tales of Nurse Matilda” by Christianna Brand/movie from 2005-This nanny knows the cure for what ails the naughty children in the Brown family.

•

Ages 8 to 13 • “Matilda” by Roald Dahl/ Ages 6 to 8 • “Charlotte’s Web” by E. B.

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White/movies from 2006 and 1973. A heartwarming, tearinducing tale of friendship between a pig and a spider. “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” by L. Frank Baum/movie from 1939-Most people are only familiar with the movie, but a whole series of books follows Dorothy and her friends in Oz. “How to Train Your Dragon”

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movie from 1996-Matilda learns to fight back against the mean adults in her life by using her special powers. “Flipped” by Wendelin Van Draanen/movie from 2010-There are two sides to every story. “Ella Enchanted” by Gail Carson Levine/movie from 2004-An imaginative retelling of the Cinderella tale. “The Secret Garden” by Frances Hodgson Burnett/movie from

14 u RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015

1993-Two neglected children discover how to bring happiness back to their lives. “Holes” by Louis Sachar/movie from 2003-Stanley finds a way to redeem his great-great grandfather and help the boys unfairly sentenced to Camp Green Lake. “Treasure Island” by Robert Louis Stevenson/Muppet Treasure Island movie from 1996-The Muppets put a fresh spin on this classic tale. “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” by C. S. Lewis/ movie from 2005-A little girl and her siblings discover the magical world that exists on the other side of a wardrobe. “Peter Pan” by J. M. Barrie/ movie from 2003, Disney version from 1953-Follow the adventures of the boy who never wanted to grow up and the children who loved him. “Bridge to Terabithia” by Katherine Paterson/movie from 2007-A boy and a girl create a secret world they can only enter by swinging on an enchanted rope across a stream. “The Invention of Hugo Cabret” by Brian Selznick/”Hugo,” the movie from 2011-A young boy lives hidden and observes life from behind the giant clock in a Paris train station.

Ages 14 and up • “To Kill a Mockingbird”

•

by Harper Lee/movie from 1962-Scout learns about life and racism in a small Alabama town. “Millions” by Frank Cottrell Boyce/movie from 2004-When a small boy believes the bag of money he finds is a gift from God, he decides to spend it helping the poor. “Divergent” by Veronica Roth/ movie from 2014-Divergents stand out in a world where everyone is divided into factions. “The Giver” by Lois Lowry/ movie from 2014-A boy discovers what life could be like when he receives memories of the world that existed in the past. “Stardust” by Neil Gaiman/ movie from 2007-A young man journeys to bring a fallen star (embodied as a young woman) to his beloved. “The Hunger Games” by Suzanne Collins/movie from 2012A future world pits teens against each other in deadly games. “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky/ movie from 2012-A teen fights depression with the help of his oddball friends. “The Book Thief” by Markus Zusak/movie from 2013-A girl survives with the help of her adopted parents in Word War II Germany. “War Horse” by Michael Morpurgo/movie from 2011-A young man follows his beloved horse into the trenches of World War I. “Me and Earl and the Dying Girl” by Jesse Andrews/movie from 2015-Unexpectedly funny story about high school friends, one of whom has cancer.

Cindy Hudson writes about reading, books, and family activities at MotherDaughterBookClub. com. WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM

Richmond's Original Family Calendar and Website

Just A Click Away

.com WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM

804-651-4078 RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015 u 15

Page to Screen

Custom Homes • Additions Renovations • Remodeling

25 CAN’T-MISS STORIES FOR FAMILY BOOK-AND-MOVIE TIME by Cindy Hudson

•

Ages 8 to 13 • “Matilda” by Roald Dahl/ Ages 6 to 8 • “Charlotte’s Web” by E. B.

•

14 u RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015

Ages 14 and up • “To Kill a Mockingbird”

•

Cindy Hudson writes about reading, books, and family activities at MotherDaughterBookClub. com. WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM

Richmond's Original Family Calendar and Website

Just A Click Away

.com WWW.RICHMONDPARENTS.COM

804-651-4078 RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015 u 15

November

2015

SUNDAY, NOV 1 Richmond Coin and Currency Show CLARION HOTEL

More than 50 tables of U.S., foreign and ancient coins and currency. Free parking, admission and appraisals. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Clarion Hotel, 3207 N. Boulevard. Info: richmondcoinclub. com.

MONDAY, NOV 2 Crafting Like Crazy

EASTERN HENRICO RECREATION CENTER

Kids 8-17 can practice crafts of various types while parents work out. Supplies provided. Free. 6 p.m., Eastern Henrico Recreation Center, 1440 N. Laburnum Ave. Info: 225-2056.

Dia de los Muertos Festival

TUESDAY, NOV 3

Dia de los Muertos Festival in conjunction with the Latin Ballet of Virginia. Dancing, music, treats, family activities. Free. 1-5 p.m., the Cultural Arts Center at Glen Allen, 2880 Mountain Road.

“Newsies”

THE CULTURAL ARTS CENTER AT GLEN ALLEN

Atlantic Chamber Ensemble UNITY OF BON AIR

Atlantic Chamber Ensemble presents music and discussions exploring fear. Performances to include works by Britten, Shostakovich, Ravel and others, along with a world premiere from Arshak Andriasov. Free; donations accepted. 4 p.m., Unity of Bon Air, 923 Buford Road. Info: acensemble.org or unitybonair.org.

Virginia Thanksgiving Festival THE BERKELEY PLANTATION

Celebrate at the site of the first Thanksgiving in the country, according to some scholars. Event features a parade, period games, the Chickahominy Tribal Dancers, candle dipping and more. $10/car. More info: berkeleyplantation.org.

All Saints, All Hallows, All Voices & Brass! CATHEDRAL OF THE SACRED HEART

Celebrate All Saints Day and its cultural descendant, All Hallows Eve, with the Fairfax Choral Society and the Washington Symphonic Brass performing works by St. Hildegard of Bingen, Berlioz, Verdi, Vaughn Williams and more. Free. 2:30 p.m., Cathedral of the Sacred Heart, 800 S. Cathedral Place.

ALTRIA THEATER

The Tony-winning musical from Alan Menken, Harvey Fierstein and Disney Theatrical Productions, arrives in Richmond. $38-$78 plus fees. Through Nov. 8 at the Altria Theater. Info: altriatheater.com.

WEDNESDAY, NOV 4 Artist’s Talk and Exhibit

UNIVERSITY OF RICHMOND’S VISUAL ARTS BUILDING

Bosnian graphic designer Bojan Hadzihalilovi visits campus to discuss graphic design and activism. Part of the series “20 Years After Srebrenica: Bosnia and Herzegovina Today.” Free. 1 p.m., University of Richmond’s Visual Arts Building. Information: richmond.edu.

THURSDAY, NOV 5 Art and Remembrance

NOVEMBER GALLERY OF THE WEINSTEIN JCC

At age 15, Esther Krinitz disobeyed Nazi orders to report to a train station for “relocation,” fleeing with her younger sister to work with Polish farmers. In 1977, trained as a dressmaker, she began making art out of cloth. “Art and Remembrance: Images of the Art of Esther Nisenthal Krinitz” is an exhibit of her work. Free. Through Jan. 7 at the Sara D. November Gallery of the Weinstein JCC, 5403 Monument Ave. Info: weinsteinjcc.org.

“A Pulsing Heart, Paradise Is Now” THE PAGE BOND GALLERY

A show of new paintings by Charlotte Culot. Opening reception 6-8 p.m. Exhibits through Dec. 5. The Page Bond Gallery, 1635 W. Main St.

16 u RICHMOND PARENTS MONTHLY u NOVEMBER 2015

MONDAY, NOV 9 Chris Tomlin ALTRIA THEATER

The Grammy and Dove-award-winning Christian musician brings songs from his nine albums and 12 No. 1 radio singles. $30.50 - $42 (plus fees). 7 p.m. Altria Theater. Tickets: etix.com or 1-800-514-3849.

Info: pagebondgallery.com or 359-3633.

FRIDAY, NOV 6 “On Golden Pond”

HUGUENOT UNITED METHODIST CHURCH

The Ernest Thompson drama about an elderly couple summering at the lake, opens. Continues on weekends through Nov. 22. 7:30 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, 2:30 p.m. Sundays. $12. Huguenot United Methodist Church, 10661 Duryea Drive. Info: Huguenotcommunityplayers.com or 272-6820, ext. 5.

Steve Hedberg Art Opening GLAVE KOCEN GALLERY

Realistic and evocative landscapes of contemporary Richmond. Free. 6 p.m., Glave Kocen Gallery, 1620 W. Main St.

The Big LeBYRDski THE BYRD THEATRE

This showing of “The Big Lebowski” features a “bathrobe bar crawl” as well as a specially brewed beer from Center of the Universe Brewing Co. Proceeds benefit the Byrd Theatre Foundation. $10. 5:30 p.m. bar crawl, 8 p.m. film. The Byrd Theatre, 2908 W. Cary St.

SATURDAY, NOV 7 Book Signing: Phyllis Lawson RICHMOND PUBLIC LIBRARY

Author Phyllis Lawson signs “Quilt of Souls”; sponsored by Book People. Free. 1-3 p.m., Richmond Public Library, 101 E. Franklin St. Info: 646-7223.

Gospel Concert

MORNING STAR BAPTIST CHURCH

Join us November 20th 7pm

Annual Holiday Tree Lighting =