The Beast - April 2022

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Enough Rain to Send You Insane Words James Hutton @thebeastmag Welcome to the April 2022 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s mouldy beaches of the east. As I write this welcome note, it is absolutely bloody feral outside. Four straight weeks of torrential rain, enough to send you nuts.

Since the weather’s been so rough I’ve been forced to get some work done, hence the 68-pager this month. As promised, there are a lot more articles in this one, including a few that Nicola wrote for previous editions. More stories about local people is a good thing, if you ask me, so I’m stoked to finally see them in print.

At the risk of sounding like Scott Morrison, how good is this month’s cover?! Bondi illustrator Dave Homer is the

8 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

talent behind this one, which is quite possibly our best yet. If you’d like to see more of Dave’s work, you can check out his website at davehomer.com or follow @davehomerdraws on Instagram.

I know all this rain has been getting a lot of people down, especially after the last two years of weirdness, but let’s just be grateful that we’ve been fortunate enough to avoid the tragic natural disasters that many other parts of the state have had to endure. It’s also nice to not have to worry about our neigbours dropping bombs on our heads. Vladimir Putin, seriously, what a dickhead.

Pour yourself a vodka and relax, son, for crying out loud!

Cheers, James

The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editor james@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au Rates and Specs thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 60,000 copies are delivered every month; 58,000 are placed in mailboxes and 2,000 in local shops.

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Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and suburb.

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For more information, visit waverley.nsw.gov.au 10 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

CONTENTS A p r i l 2 0 2 2 Is s u e 2 0 7

8 11 12 14 22 36 38 40

Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Monthly Mailbag Local News Police News Local Photos Local Artist

42 44 48 50 52 54 56 57

Unreliable Guide Kieran's Satire Money Matters Headnoise Marj's Musings Dave's Diary Fishing Report Tide Chart

K Bay Sessions, by Mark Hunter @bondihunter.

58 60 61 62 64 65 66 66

Bandage Dana's Recipe Business Cards More Local Photos Brainteasers Reviews Beardy from Hell Trivia Solutions

Don’t get left behind.

Owning the Mental Health Crisis Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Charles Darwin Trudging home from the bus stop in a rain-soaked frenzy, Pearl overheard a private school boy boasting to his friend that he “wants to be a millionaire”.

It must be a sign of the times (or I’ve been living in the Eastern Suburbs for way too long), but my immediate reaction was to think “why not a billionaire?

Up your game, sunshine!” Millionaires are a dime a dozen in the East; his parents probably own a house worth four times that amount, and no doubt he is rubbing shoulders with students whose parents win or lose a million dollars overnight in the stock market gamble.

That slice of overheard conversation got me thinking about young people in the Eastern Suburbs, their lives and their 12 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

futures. Due to the impact of COVID, youth mental health has received a lot of attention lately, and so it should. COVID may be an inconvenience and a terrible annoyance (particularly to the jet-setters and the anti-maskers) but for young people there has been a terrible lot of missing out. The adults around them may be suffering FOMO over property and vehicle purchases, but it is the young who have been denied the fun things in life - school plays and concerts, sporting and artistic pursuits, school excursions, overseas exchanges and hanging out with friends.

Pandemics are not new, and in the past Australian children have lived through epidemics and world wars without dire

mental health consequences.

However, I doubt there has been a time when young people have been subjected to the ridiculous pressures of today, created by adults, companies and governments. We hear a lot about resilience, but would baby boomers have coped with what’s been thrown at today’s children when they were young?

From birth, children are budding “consumers”, waiting to be sold to and plied with the latest technology (the very nature of which is addictive) so they too can achieve the perfection sought by their parents with the swipe of a Visa card. Life is presented as one big competition of winning and one-upmanship, where self worth is determined by what one possesses, with physical appearance as the entrée to fame and fortune. For some children, schooling is endless testing and outside tuition, and sport and the arts have morphed into competitive vessels for pushy parents channelling their own angst or ruthlessness through their offspring. And what of their future? HECS debts, climate change, an unaffordable house and rental market geared towards property portfolios, and a government intent on making the rich even richer while reducing the safety nets for those in need.

As a society, we must own this mental health crisis and examine the causes by taking a hard look at the world in which our children live. We must take responsibility for the environment in which they are growing up, not bandage patch the outcomes with programs and meaningless catchphrases. Our children deserve a kinder, gentler world, free from rampant materialism and consumerism.

Unfortunately, COVID-19 has produced the opposite.

Apply for a small grant If you have an idea that would benefit our local community or environment, you may be eligible for a small grant through Waverley Council.

Grants are available in these streams 1

Community & Cultural

2

Environmental

Applications close on Monday 4 April

Up to $5,000 available

Scan the QR code or visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au/smallgrants to find out more and apply

The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The Diverse People of the Eastern Suburbs Local, State and Federal Government Issues FEEL THE SERENITY When did our beautiful suburb of Clovelly become one big, noisy, neglected suburb? The barking dogs are relentless. There’s one in particular that starts at six every morning and goes until eightish, and another that sets off every other dog for miles, not to mention early morning poops outside our front gate.

Motorbikes roar up Arden Street, and whipper snippers and leaf blowers start just at babies’ nap times. Party holders play loud music into the early morning and rubbish dumpers pollute the streets. And, don’t get me started on the cars in Pacific Street. One is so vandalised that it is basically a complete wreck, but it is not considered to be abandoned. A trailer in Winchester Lane has been dumped there for eighteen years but is apparently registered and therefore not technically abandoned either.

Burnie Park is the greatest waste of beautiful land in the East - it’s criminal! Let’s have a competition to redesign the area.

You could include a bike track, picnic tables, a water source... oh, and safe equipment to stimulate the kids in this awesome setting.

The much-awaited Clovelly Beach Park is a huge disappointment.

It’s too big for little kids and lacking in activities for all ages.

And, what about the stupid parents who think they are saving the environment by putting their kids on the back or front of pushbikes? These things are death

14 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

traps! You need a licence to drive a car but you can put one or two (or three) kids on your modified electric death trap and take your chances in peak hour traffic.

Please consider your neighbours and give back our beautiful suburb!

D Richardson Clovelly PLANNING PROPOSALS FOR WAR MEMORIAL HOSPITAL I am one of many locals who has serious concerns with the Waverley War Memorial Hospital proposal. Today, I would like to look at the use of the term “affordable housing” in the proposal.

The proposal’s aim outlines a commitment to “providing a component of affordable housing”, the Council recommendations comment on the importance of “the provision of affordable housing” in the proposal, and in the Relationship to Strategic Planning Framework, under Objective 11, it states that, “The planning proposal aims to increase the provision of housing for more vulnerable members of the community in the area, particularly seniors housing and affordable housing.”

However, is this really the case?

Due to a technicality - as I understand it - the current accommodation provided by the Bushell and Johnston buildings, as well as Conrad Beard Court, are not recognised as “affordable housing” and as a result will be demolished under the development.

Yes, there would need to be some upgrades to the Bushell and Johnston buildings, but Conrad

Beard Court provides high quality accommodation to its elderly residents, not to mention the outstanding gardens that surround these buildings. I strongly recommend a visit to the site to see these gardens for yourself.

Have any residents supported the demolition of their homes?

Can the proposal justify the demolition of these “affordable housing” buildings and gardens, which appears to have been ignored due to a technicality or semantics?

Neil McGarvie Bondi Junction (100 metres from the hospital) UNCONSCIONABLE CONDUCT I write in relation to a story of interest in the Waverley Council area, and thereby for The Beast.

The story relates to Council being completely unconscionable by: 1) Booking vehicles with valid parking permits affixed in accordance with Council’s published conditions of use for the permits, and lawfully parked, and refusing to withdraw the ticket, even though it can do so for incorrect infringement notices.

2) As a separate issue, Council has been publishing on their website that they send renewal notices, and have done for years, but have apparently ceased doing so (despite still publishing that they do), and then fining vehicles with recently expired permits - in my case, approximately one week - while I was away on holidays over the Christmas period.

Refusal to accept Council’s own published parking permit conditions of use and booking vehicles Waverley Council Parking Ranges are deliberately issuing parking infringement to vehicles that have a valid residential permit, and parked in the relevant permit area, if the permit is affixed anywhere other than the lower left corner of the windscreen.

Council’s published conditions of use on its website permit the permit to be located anywhere on the left (not limited to the lower left as Council is now insisting),

away from any tinting. Despite Council’s own conditions of use permitting permits on the upper left, or in fact anywhere on the left of the windscreen, Council is insisting that they are invalid permits due to not being in the lower left corner. Council’s own conditions of use for the permits on Council’s website only require the permit to be on the left, not the lower left, and specifically away from tinted areas which are only ever at the top of a windscreen.

Council’s conditions of use are downloadable at Council’s website at www.waverley.nsw.gov.au/ residents/parking/permits/ residential. They clearly allow the permit on the left, away from tinted areas.

Acting contrary to advice on their website, resulting in unreasonable parking infringement notices Council has for years issued parking permit renewal reminder notices. Council also advises on its website, even as recently as yesterday (February 10, 2022), that it issues renewal reminders.

I have a copy I can provide that I did a screen shot of yesterday.

That question has now been removed, after I raised it with Council yesterday. However, Council has in fact ceased issuing reminders, purportedly for a year or more, without notice, despite the fact that it was still advising on its website that it issues them.

These matters are examples of how Waverley Council uses unconscionable, unjust and likely illegal practices to maximise parking infringement notices from innocent residents, including ratepayers, and even those who actually have a valid parking permit.

In my current instance, Council is refusing to accept a permit fixed to the upper left of my windscreen, despite the conditions of use permitting it. It looks like I will need to take the matter to court. I can provide a photo of my permit on the windscreen (top left), and a copy of a photo taken by a Council ranger of only the lower left corner, an area of approximately

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also totally dependent on societal and environmental factors that operate far beyond the hospital ward or doctor’s surgery.

Right now, the clearest longterm threat to the health of all my patients and potential patients is climate change. I witnessed patients struggling and suffering through the Black Summer heat and smoke, particularly the frail and elderly, but also younger patients with conditions like multiple sclerosis and chronic migraine.

BONDI JUNCTION TREES At the moment, the planet has Bloody disgusting, Waverley a low-grade fever, and we all see Council, chopping down all the the consequences, but without tall trees along Oxford Street, Bondi Junction, for the new cycle- concerted, coordinated and way. They couldn’t care less about immediate action we will come tree canopy, wildlife habitats and to see the planet ravaged by high shade, not to mention they could fever and multi-organ failure and struggling for survival in ICU. have located the cycleway on the opposite side of the road. Bloody Dr Shaun Watson Neurologist disgraceful, no tree council.

Bronte Dave Bondi SNAKE IN THE GRASS CLIMATE CHANGE AND HEALTH With the next election approaching, Scott Morrison has been I began to realise how climate change affected health during the shedding his s(k)ins. NevertheBlack Summer of 2019-20. Sydney less, he is still a snake.

Steve Barker was choked by smoke and the Bronte Gosper’s Mountain monster fire was threatening Blackheath and our little farm. It was the 30th birth- Pearl’s Fan Mail day party for my daughter, who was PRICELESS PEARL heavily pregnant with my second James - After reading Pearl’s grandchild. Although surrounded brilliant column, A Man of Our by friends and family, she retreat- Times, in the February edition of ed to her bedroom and sobbed The Beast, I had intended to write inconsolably. How could she bring to congratulate her on one of her another child into this world? best ever pieces, but didn’t manI have lived in the Wentworth age to do so. After reading some electorate for 35 years and have of the bitter and twisted attacks in been formed and nourished by the March edition, I have to come the ocean, beaches, sandstone out in support of our Pearl. and the people.

I think she really nailed it with I have come to understand her criticism of our new Premier, that our health and well-being who has been a huge disappointis inextricably entwined in and ment in the role to date. Surely dependent upon the web of all “traditional Christianity” in 2022 ecosystems. We depend on a stahas got little to do with overble climate, and also upon political population and more to do with and economic systems. Our politi- compassion and assisting the cians need to understand this too. vulnerable and less well off.

The doctor-patient relationship Besides, what “humanizing is like the nuclear family of med- family institution” in its right icine and is rightly sacrosanct. mind would want to bring a child But the health of our patients is into Scott Morrison’s Australia?

20cm x 20cm, which appears to be the area Council parking officers are trained to limit their review for a permit to. This photo was provided to me by Council.

Long-time Resident Bondi Beach Waverley Council has informed The Beast that infringements issued in this manner have been recommended for withdrawal with Revenue NSW.

Engage. Inspire. Empower.

Choose Waverley Applications for 2024 closing end of March waverley.nsw.edu.au/enrol

Arguably our most appalling Prime Minister, he even makes Tony Abbott look competent and John Howard appear honest!

Yes, Pearl, we need less self-entitled breeding and more selfless leading from our so called Christian politicians.

John Randwick

competitions, prizes, an agility display, stalls for dog supplies and services, face painting, sausage sizzle, cake stall and music. All are welcome and admission is free.

Competitions include most dignified old-timer, best dressed, best trick, quirky cross-breed, dog-owner look-alike, your rescue dog story, my best friend (kids talk) and cutest puppy. For more information, including how to enter a competition, please visit www.rosebayrotary.org.au.

Doggie Day Out will be a family fun day - a welcome break from the difficulties of the past two years.

Mike Fisher President Rotary Club of Rose Bay

GO, PEARL, GO! Dear Pearl - Please don’t be deterred by the letters complaining about your article, A Man of Our Times, in the February edition of The Beast.

Your writing is always spot on. I know many readers love it and regard your page an absolute highlight of The Beast. We can hardly wait to read your next one.

Go, Pearl, Go! GONE TO THE DOGS Eva This is such a ridiculous article Randwick (Amendments to Laws Governing Public Spaces in the Eastern SubPEARL BULLIVANT urbs, The Beast, March 2022), I’m Dear Editor - I was impressed disappointed you gave it a page. with your “integrity” to print the Perhaps the law that prohibits apt and accurate feedback about dogs from entering Mackenzies Ms Bullivant’s bitter and twisted Bay is overlooked because the article on Premier Perrottet in majority of people love dogs? The your February edition. She’s a majority of people agree dogs do known activist for Labor and the no harm and owners should be Greens, but how low can she go by able to enjoy a swim with their dog slinging such slimy comments? in a very small area of the Eastern I had determined to not read Beaches. Ridiculous artical [sic].

The Beast again after reading that Angela article. I wondered how you could Coogee employ such a biased, jaundiced journalist. But because you’ve THANKS TO ALL THE PEOPLE published the feedback on her THAT HELPED MY FRIEND caustic viewpoints I’m impressed Last Saturday (March 5, 2022) with your decision and fairness. at around 10am, my friend Mark You could do so much better and I were standing in Clovelly than use her in your magazine. carpark. My friend said he was Lift the game, aim higher. feeling a bit faint. Next minute, he Lynda H started to become unsteady and Bondi then he had some kind of seizure.

He lost consciousness; his eyes Other Local Happenings rolled back and his head, arms DOGGIE DAY OUT and legs started going in all direcThe Rotary Club of Rose Bay will tions. I thought he was dying. be holding a dog fair, Doggie Day In no time at all, people rushed Out, in Lyne Park on Sunday, to help him. While I was talking April 3, from 10am to 3pm. to triple-0, these people were Doggie Day Out will be a absolutely brilliant. I just want to celebration of our canine comthank everyone who helped out. panion animals. There will be The lifesavers helped as well and

18 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

they were also great, and the ambo’s too were fantastic. Honestly, it restored my faith in humanity.

Guys, if you are reading this, thanks to all of you. I am so grateful to you for helping. Mark spent the day at Prince of Wales emergency. He improved during the day and was able to go home.

Thanks to one and all who helped.

M Gibson Coogee NOISY MOTORBIKES AND CARS ON SYD EINFELD DRIVE We recently moved to the corner of Syd Einfeld Drive and Oxford Street on the eastern edge of the Bondi Junction CBD. The noise from revving motorbikes and cars occurs daily at levels significantly above what is reasonable.

There are times every day when we can’t hear each other, or our visitors, speak. We can’t even hear our TV, despite having double glazing. This usually occurs until around 11pm.

Why is this allowed to continue when the permitted decibel levels are legislated?

Shelley Peers Bondi Junction FAIR SUCK OF THE APEROL BOTTLE! I am a frequent diner at Eastern Suburbs restaurants, especially around The Spot in Randwick. In the last year or so a trend seems to have developed whereby wait staff often semi-ignore me, only paying attention to my partner.

She will be asked if she would like a drink to start, and then, having taken her order, the waiter begins to turn away and I have to quickly speak up or go thirsty.

This doesn’t always happen, but it now happens often enough to be noticeable. When it comes to dessert or coffee it is even more likely that she will be asked but not me. Almost without fail, if she says ‘no thanks’, the waiter will begin to turn away.

Now, I rarely eat dessert - and I could do without the temptation - but sometimes I do have my eye

Adapting to our single-use plastic free future starts now!

Plastic Free Randwick assists restaurants, bars & cafes Membership & support is free plasticfreerandwick.org with support from

on something from the dessert menu, so I must either speak up or swallow my disappointment instead of those calories.

I certainly don’t mind if my partner is asked first. Actually, I quite like that retro European (or at least Italian) etiquette of ‘ladies first’ (if that is what is going on here), but I do like to be asked!

I don’t know why I seem to have acquired what my partner refers to as my semi-invisibility super power, although she thinks it’s a hoot. Could it be something to do with sliding into my mid-sixties perhaps? Do the waiters assume that my ‘advanced years’ have obliged me to delegate my food and drink ordering to my partner?

We’re not quite there yet!

Needless to say, thereby sometimes the opportunity for our restaurants to add to their bottom line is lost. Hey guys, the old dude likes a drink too, and he does have a wallet, as well as a heartbeat!

Steven Drakeley Randwick THE ROGAN EFFECT Have you noticed something strange over the past few years? I have. Have you noticed your usually aloof and lovably apathetic friends suddenly have an insatiable appetite for vigorous debate?

Have you noticed your servile and genteel neighbour suddenly look over her shoulder before she reveals an incredibly controversial opinion? Have you noticed most recently that people who have never spoken politically about anything are suddenly experts on the Russia-Ukraine scenario, and they press you for debate about oil and communism and God knows what else? Have you noticed these folk I have just mentioned all think they can collaborate and make a podcast with their ground-breaking and edgy conversation?

Introducing to you, the Rogan Effect, named after the biggest cultural icon of the past few years - Joe Rogan. On the surface, the Rogan Effect is positive. However, it doesn’t factor in one crucial

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point: most people under the spell of the Rogan Effect have no clue what they’re talking about.

Joe Rogan rose to fame during a time when conventional news and media were losing their clout and credibility. He came along with his relaxed and colloquial demeanour, intelligent and practical manner of conversing, and open, honest way of connecting with his guests.

He became the most successful content creator in modern times.

Whatever issues you may have with him, you cannot deny his popularity. Joe Rogan is rich and famous. He has access to the world’s most successful people, whether they be celebrities or intellectuals or athletes or world leaders. Unfortunately, a lot of us don’t have that access, and we are left to converse with people just like us on things we mostly know very little about.

The Rogan Effect is dangerous because we just recycle ideas we hear from Rogan or his guests.

Once we do this, we pass it on as our own idea, and then we beat down on everyone who doesn’t feel as strongly about it. It’s ironic because we contradict our hero, Joe Rogan, who might say, “Just do your thing, man,” “Let’s converse about ideas without taking it personally, man,” “Don’t be saying things when you don’t know what you’re talking about, man.”

The thing that makes it even worse is that it’s not like we’re going to do anything about these issues anyway. I mean, gee, at least if we took the information and actually did something about it that would be something. It might even make a difference, and we might even have grounds for our radical opinions. But we don’t seem to want to do that.

We just want to be that person at the party, the crusader of ‘truth’, because we are the only ones that can handle its harshness. We just want to be the one that ‘owns’ someone in a debate with our ‘ideas’. We want the credibility without doing the work. We want to be experts

without spending years of unsexy study and lived experience to make ourselves useful and knowledgeable on these topics.

Stop running around being bald little carnivorous Joe Rogans.

Jay Bronte THE MISSING RING Hi James - A friend of ours gave us the task of finding the owner of a wedding ring he found at Clovelly Beach “a few years ago”, after he brought it back home and “forgot about it”. He recently moved back overseas and found the ring again while cleaning up for the removal.

While it is not a lost and found magazine per se, The Beast came to mind as it distributes 60,000 copies every month in the Eastern Suburbs. The ring is a male silver or white gold wedding ring with the inscription, “Love always, Jodie 03.11.2001”.

Please, contact The Beast if you are the owner, or if you know who it belongs to, and I will be happy to return it.

Corinne Bondi Local Poetry WAR It’s terrible, the atrocity of the war in Ukraine, It’s enough to give us all a bad migraine.

What is Putin trying to prove by destroying people’s lives?

Why can’t they be left alone and be with their wives?

It’s sad seeing them struggle, leaving their homes behind, Those innocent ones, now walking miles to Poland, a new place to find.

It’s a sad state of affairs, one that’s hard to believe, The children, seeing them cry, walking in cold conditions, as Russia had nothing to achieve.

Let’s all pray and see this war end peacefully, Please, Russia, no more lives lost, so people can smile gleefully.

Graeme Bogan Bondi Junction ¢

A bureaucratic nightmare.

The Australian Who Was Never Born Words Nicola Smith Photo John Garrick Rose Bay resident John Garrick faces a life admin challenge that would give most people nightmares. He does not have an official birth certificate and so, according to Australian and international records, was never officially born.

Now, at 72 years of age, he is attempting to chase down an official record of his birth.

“I decided to pursue it more vigorously because I got knocked back by a conveyancing company, a COVID-19 vaccination hub centre and a lawyer, who all wanted to see an official birth certificate before working with me,” Mr Garrick told The Beast.

“They said the typed extract is okay, but they need an updated birth certificate, a modern one.

They said, ‘Don’t you have one?’ and I said, ‘No!’” Mr Garrick was born in Japan in 1949 when it was an allied occupied territory post-World War II. At the time of his birth, his parents were issued an interim certificate and he was considered an Australian citizen. However, a Japanese hospital held the record of his birth.

“My father was in the RAAF services; they have his service record but there’s no record of him having a son while he was there. My sister was born in Australia, so she’s never had this problem,” he explained.

22 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

To complicate matters, the family also anglicised its last name upon returning to Australia when Mr Garrick was eighteen months old. This means that the surname recorded on his birth certificate, and in any official records that might be found, differs from his current documents.

Mr Garrick’s main form of identification is a passport, issued before more stringent demands were in place.

“It was issued in 1982 and I’ve been renewing it ever since. If it lapses, I’ll have to go through the rigmarole of proving myself real again,” Mr Garrick lamented.

Since July 2021, Mr Garrick has contacted the Department of Home Affairs, the Australian Embassy in Tokyo, the National Archives of Australia, the Department of Defence and Department of Veterans Affairs to no avail. He is currently waiting for a response from the NSW Registry of Births Deaths & Marriages.

Mr Garrick has also chased down all leads available to him in Japan through a Japanese friend and has discovered that the Japanese records of his birth have most likely been destroyed. Official Japanese certificates from Kure General hospital, Kure City Council and Iwakuni City Council have all stated that there are “no records kept of a registration of birth for this person as mentioned”.

“It must have been recorded by Kure General Hospital back then, but they don’t keep anything older than 30 years,” Mr Garrick told The Beast.

“It’s not a time in Japan’s history that they want to remember, so a lot of official records have been destroyed.”

An additional roadblock to getting a new birth certificate issued is that Australian birth certificates are typically only issued with an overseas country of birth if adoption has taken place. This does not take into account the special circumstances surrounding the allied occupation of Japan post-World War II. After World War II, Allied forces occupied Japan from 1945-1952. In that time, 16,000 Australians were deployed in Japan as part of the British Commonwealth Occupation Force. They were responsible for the prefectures of Shimane, Yamaguchi, Tottori, Okayama, Hiroshima and Shikoku Island.

Mr Garrick’s family lived in Japan from 1947-1951 in the Yamaguchi Prefecture, which is adjacent to Hiroshima. Despite many Australians living and working in Japan after World War II, Mr Garrick has only ever heard of one other person with a situation similar to his.

While he hopes that his enquiries will eventually lead to an answer and an official record of his birth, Mr Garrick is currently - and may well remain the Australian who was never officially born.

OPEN DAYS Friday 6 May 2022 Friday 24 June 2022 Friday 5 August 2022 9am–10am mcauley.catholic.edu.au

A giant step in the right direction.

Local Councils Commit to Net Zero Carbon Emissions by 2030 Words Nicola Smith Photo Em Mission Waverley, Woollahra and Randwick Councils are now a giant step closer to having net zero carbon emissions by 2030.

Renewable energy will be supplied by three NSW solar farms in Moree, Hillston and Nevertire to 25 NSW councils as part of a $180 million renewable energy deal brokered by the Southern Sydney Regional Organisation of Councils (SSROC) with electricity retailer ZEN Energy.

The deal involves the supply of electricity to over 300 major council facilities, more than 210,000 streetlights and more than 3,000 small sites managed by councils. At some points the solar farms may produce more than is needed, sometimes it will be less, but overall the volume of renewable energy delivered by ZEN Energy must equal what councils are buying.

All Randwick Council operations including libraries, sports fields, the Des Renford Leisure Centre and council streetlights will be powered by 100 per cent renewable energy from July 1, 2022 under the landmark deal.

24 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

Similarly, Waverley Council has opted for 100 per cent renewable energy under the agreement, which will power eight major council facilities, 45 smaller sites and thousands of street lights.

Randwick Mayor Dylan Parker said the deal would save around 7,000 tonnes of CO2 every year.

“This is a landmark energy deal for local government. As electricity usage makes up about 60 per cent of our total greenhouse gas emissions, this is a significant step in reducing our emissions as we transition to net zero emissions,” Mayor Parker told The Beast.

“It shows the collective power of local government to work together to deliver real savings and sustainability benefits for our communities.”

Waverley Mayor Paula Masselos said the council was excited to be at the front of chasing net-zero emissions.

“Waverley Council was one of the first local governments nationally to formally articulate a

strategic environmental vision,” Mayor Masselos said.

“In July last year, Waverley Council became one of the first organisations in Australia to declare a target of net zero carbon emissions by 2030.

“Council will be able to meet the new target by purchasing 100 per cent renewable energy, phasing out gas and switching to electric vehicles, while ensuring ongoing energy efficiencies.”

The 25 participating councils collectively represent over 3 million people, or almost 38 per cent of the NSW population.

The agreement commences in 2022 and runs to 2026 with an option to extend to 2030.

The participating councils are Bayside, Burwood, Campbelltown, Canada Bay, Canterbury-Bankstown, Fairfield, Georges River, Hornsby, Hunters Hill, Inner West, Ku-ring-gai, Lane Cove, Liverpool, Mosman, North Sydney, Parramatta, Port Stephens, Randwick, Ryde, Singleton, Sutherland, Tamworth, Waverley, Willoughby and Woollahra.

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Issue 207 April 2022 The Beast 25

Big Greg on the tools.

Twenty-Five Years and Counting Words Nicola Smith Photo James Hutton Greg Georgantis, the owner of local mechanical institution Bronte Autos, is celebrating 25 years of hard work in his muchloved garage on Macpherson Street. Mr Georgantis began working in the garage in 1997 and took on its ownership in October 1999.

Mr Georgantis told The Beast that both the business and the local area have always been an important part of his life.

“I was born and raised in Kingsford, and I used to drive past the garage on my way to go fishing at Rose Bay, back when it had petrol pumps out the front, so I always knew the site,” he said.

Mr Georgantis attended Randwick Boys High School and started working at the old Ampol service station on Frenchmans Road (where Bunnings is now located) during his high school years.

He was a handy footballer in his day, weighing in at 115kg and scoring many a try for the 26 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

Galloping Greens. When Greg finished high school, he was invited to travel to France to play professionally, but turned down the offer to focus on his career.

“It was very hard to get an apprenticeship in those days, and my parents - a typical immigrant family - said, ‘No, the career comes first’, so I stayed in Sydney and kept working,” he told The Beast.

In the time that Mr Georgantis has been working in Bronte, the suburb has changed considerably and has seen some historic moments such as the carrying of the Olympic torch down Macpherson Street for the 2000 Sydney Olympics.

However, he believes the community feel of the area has remained constant despite the changes.

“The suburb has changed a lot, there’s always new waves of new people coming in and there’s definitely more traffic these days than there used to be,” Mr Georgantis said.

“But I know families who I’ve seen grow up, and the kids bring their cars back to me even when they’ve moved out of the area.”

Mr Georgantis’ people-oriented philosophy is likely part of the reason customers continue to return to the mechanic.

“Bronte Autos is like a corner store, not a factory. We’re not just about numbers, but people,” he told The Beast.

Greg has serviced a range of cars over the years, most notably a replica of the 1961 Ferrari Spyder from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. “I treat all cars and people the same. It doesn’t matter to me if it’s a thousand-dollar car or a Ferrari, it’s a car that means a lot to them and I want to do what I can to keep them on the road,” he said.

While the area has changed a lot during his time here, cars have changed even more.

“You have to be electronically minded or you’re gone these days. We’re constantly learning and specialising in the new technology that cars come with. The days when you could just listen to the car and guess are over!”

Mr Georgantis’ wife, Lefkothea, has recently opened a hotel called White Pebble Suites on the Greek island of Milos, where she plans to spend part of the year. This change means that a partial retirement is potentially on the horizon for Greg, who says his dream is to summer in Greece and then summer in Sydney.

He’s hoping that when the time comes for him to step back from Bronte Autos, someone will take on the business to keep his dream of family-oriented service alive.

“I hope someone will take over the dream. I want the building to stay a workshop and keep looking after the clients who bring their cars here,” Mr Georgantis told The Beast.

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Room to move.

Westfield Can Do More for Disabled Customers Words Nicola Smith Photo Mohammed Bility Waverley residents with disability permits are struggling to access Westfield Bondi Junction due to a lack of policing around disabled parking spots.

Residents who rely on disability parking spots have reported non-disabled car park users increasingly taking up spaces specifically designed for disabled users.

Waverley resident Jeff, who requires disabled parking for his son, told The Beast that no one was enforcing the correct use of the disabled spaces.

“People just park there; there are no rules and it can’t be enforced because they’re a private enterprise,” Jeff explained.

“It is a worry, especially when you’ve got elderly parents or a child with a disability.”

Disabled parking spots are not only closer to shopping centre entrances, they are also generally wider to allow wheelchairs to be taken in and out of the side doors of vehicles.

A representative from Scentre Group, which manages Westfield Bondi Junction, told The Beast that while they can’t impose sanctions, they do endeavour to police the use of the bays by asking customers without a permit to move.

“To ensure all Westfield customers can navigate around our centre with ease, we offer up to four hours free parking to customers that hold a disability permit and have specially designed parking bays to assist with accessibility. Our parking team monitor disabled parking bays regularly and endeavour to contact customers if 28 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

they have parked in disabled bays without a valid permit,” the representative explained.

“Compliance in disabled parking bays at Westfield Bondi Junction is enforced by Waverley Council,” they added.

However, Jeff said that parking attendants at Westfield Bondi Junction have told him there is nothing they can do.

“When they’re not policing everything, people who know about it just park in the disabled spots.

It’s really difficult, especially when you’re already in Westfield and they say there’s nothing we can do about it,” Jeff told The Beast.

A representative from Waverley Council told The Beast that while Council previously enforced the disabled parking bays within Westfield Bondi Junction, they have not done so since 2015.

“Waverley Council does not oversee parking within the Westfield shopping centre at Bondi Junction. Other disability parking in the local government area is monitored by our regular patrols, and in response to direct reports or complaints to Council or through the Snap Send Solve app.”

Scentre Group has maintained that they are committed to providing accessible disability parking within their centres, even if this doesn’t extend to sanctioning those who park in the wrong bays.

“To help customers access the correct bays, Westfield Bondi Junction is currently undertaking works in key disabled parking areas to ensure the bays are visible, including new stencils and refreshed wall signage,” the spokesperson said.

However, Jeff feels that they aren’t doing enough to ensure disabled users have fair access to the shops and services housed at Westfield Bondi Junction.

“I’d like to see Westfield enforcing it in their own way,” Jeff told The Beast.

“When you do have a child with a disability, you really can’t go without a wider spot to get the wheelchair alongside to get them out of the car.”

Disability parking is also available on Gray Street, adjacent to Westfield Bondi Junction, and these spots are enforced by Council.

However, the three spots provided are disproportionate to the number of people seeking to shop at Westfield Bondi Junction who may have disabilities that require special parking, indicating that better strategies are needed to enforce parking opportunities for disabled shoppers.

“I was just totally disappointed with Westfield shopping centre because they must have agreed to provide a number of disabled spots when they built the centre, but they’re completely useless if no one enforces them,” Jeff lamented.

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www.kensingtonkitchensandbathrooms.com.au Issue 207 April 2022 The Beast 29

The people have chosen.

Tim Olsen Takes Out Nib People's Choice Prize Words Nicola Smith Photo Greg Weight Eastern Suburbs gallerist Tim Olsen has described his career as an art dealer as “glorified salesmanship” when compared to the work of his artistic family. Now, his own creative efforts have been recognised, with his memoir, Son of the Brush, winning Waverley Council’s Nib People’s Choice Prize as part of the 2021 Mark & Evette Moran Nib Literary Award.

The Mark & Evette Moran Nib Literary Award is open to authors across Australia and is this country’s only major literary award presented by a local council. The main prize was established in 2002, with the current format People’s Choice Prize (awarded by popular vote) added in 2013.

“I was dancing with joy when I won the People’s Choice, I wouldn’t have even swapped it for the big prize,” Mr Olsen told The Beast.

“It meant so much to know that people loved the book, 30 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

because I really wanted to demystify the art world for myself and my family.”

Much of the memoir focuses on Olsen’s relationship with his father, the renowned John Olsen, who is considered Australia’s greatest living artist and is well known for his Sydney Opera House mural.

Some have pointed to this relationship to dismiss the significance of Olsen’s success in the art world. However, Son of the Brush explores his childhood on the inside track of the art world and the struggles that a famous father brings, as well as the genuine nature of their partnership as gallerist and artist that grew from their father-son relationship.

“I’m proud of the fact that I was lucky to have an iconic artist as a father, but he’s one of 40 artists I represent and I could never rely on him alone to be successful,” Mr Olsen explained.

Mr Olsen’s childhood by his artist father’s side and long career in the art world provides a knowledgeable foundation from which he also reflects on the art world in Australia and internationally within his memoir.

He hopes that this lifetime of experience in the art world creates a clear window through which his readers can view the industry.

“I hope people would say I have an uncomplicated and direct way of talking about art that comes from spending a lot of time in the studio since early childhood,” Mr Olsen told The Beast.

Despite a career that spans the globe, Mr Olsen told The Beast that the Eastern Suburbs has always been home.

“I had a very romantic childhood, basically living in a fishing village in Watsons Bay in the ‘60s - I loved it,” he said, adding that Sydney is still the place he chooses to call home.

“It’s got the best of every city in Australia; the sub-tropical climate, a cultural depth, wonderful restaurants and an eclectic mix of interesting people. I love being able to get up in the morning and swim a few laps at Bondi.”

Ultimately, it is not the setting or Mr Olsen’s artistic connections that make Son of the Brush a compelling read, but the genuine way he reflects on his past and family connections.

“In writing the book, I was confronted with how I wasted so much of my life creating a shadow that wasn’t there,” Mr Olsen said of his relationship with his father.

“At the end of the day, I’m happy in my own skin.

Although I’m chuffed that I got the People’s Choice, it’s not that I need everyone’s approval. I think it was the honesty with which I told my story that resonated with people.”

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Safety in numbers.

Ocean Swimming: The Method Behind The Madness Words Tommy Gregory Photo Jeremy Smith Now that summer seems to have prematurely ended, so too has the prime season for ocean swimming. As I walk along the Bronte headland and watch the human pod of brave warriors swim lap after lap of Nelson Bay, I can’t help but wonder why they would do this to themselves. But for them, it’s just another day of ocean swimming, “because we can”.

Throughout the lockdowns we were stripped of many privileges. One that slipped under the radar was the closing of all of our local swimming pools.

For many, this was a temporary curtain closing on their true love. But as singer Mike Posner once said, “Beginnings always hide themselves in ends.”

The closing of one door can mean the opening of another, 32 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

if you take the opportunity, which is exactly what Jeremy Smith, member of local ocean swimming group The Shower, decided to do.

“When lockdown came, the pool was no longer available, so I was invited to go ocean swimming,” Mr Smith told The Beast.

“I was hesitant at first, but soon grew to love it and have continued it ever since.”

Despite summer having the most favourable conditions for ocean swimming, the most dedicated and valiant swimmers view it as a year-round phenomenon. One swimmer who I spoke with, Andrew Caldwell, shared his perspective on winter swimming.

“I expected to quit come winter because of the cold water,

but I actually found it better to swim in because the water is clearer, and you get used to the cold anyway,” he explained.

The obvious question though, is why do they put themselves through it? What benefits do they receive, and why would anyone want to swim in sub-15 degree water?

Truth be told, from all of my discussions there did not seem to be a general consensus. For some, it was the simple idea of keeping fit year-round while doing low-impact exercise. For others, it was the fulfilment of knowing they could overcome resistance and fear by getting out of their comfort zone. For the more adventurous, it was the sense of the unknown and thrill of the ocean.

Conversely, for the captain of The Shower, Jonathan Lieper, “The mental benefits are as profound as the physical... ocean swimming has a real calming and mindful element.”

The one aspect that did come up in all of my conversations was the social side of ocean swimming. Many of the participants explained that the sense of camaraderie kept them going through the tough mornings in winter. The idea of being accountable to others - and having others to count on - was all the motivation they needed.

If anyone is interested in getting into ocean swimming, I would recommend finding a couple of friends or joining a group to help you on this adventure into the blue unknown.

As avid swimmer Andrew Caldwell told me, “Give it a go, and see for yourself”.

There are winter swimming clubs that will be starting their seasons soon at every one of our local beaches, but for now, just jump in once and see how reinvigorated it makes you feel.

And, as Nemo says, “Just keep swimming!”

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Issue 207 April 2022 The Beast 33

Making it look easy.

Local Young Gun Bodyboarder Releases Signature Model Words Nicola Smith Photo Pete Balmer @southofthebridge When Clovelly’s Liam Lucas first started bodyboarding as a grommet, it was to be better than his older brother. Fast forward a decade and he is a World Tour veteran who has released his own signature pro-model with Science Bodyboards.

“I got to design the board, all the specs and materials, and we brought it out a few months ago. It almost sold out in presale, which is pretty cool,” Mr Lucas told The Beast.

Mr Lucas designed his board for “pocket surfing and good flow when it comes to getting air”, two features that reflect his strengths in the water.

“The colours reflect my style; I like old school colourways.

One of the colourways in my range is the same as my head sponsor, Mike Stewart, who is a nine-time world champion. The quad channel is good for speed but the wider shape in the board means you technically go slower, so it’s mix and match,” he explained.

34 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

Mr Lucas grew up surfing in the Eastern Suburbs among a tight-knit community of surfers and bodyboarders.

“I grew up in Clovelly but learnt to surf at Bronte and Tamarama. I’ve got a good group of mates who all love to bodyboard, around 15 of us.

The crowd here is pretty chilled out so it’s easy to get waves,” he told The Beast.

Mr Lucas’ dreams of pro bodyboarding materialised at his first World Tour event in 2018 in Kiama. After coming second in the juniors he was seeded into the World Tour event for the title in Portugal the same year and came fifth.

The bodyboarding industry, like so many, suffered under COVID-19, with the World Tour being cancelled for the past two years.

Mr Lucas hasn’t competed in a single competition since COVID-19 lockdowns began and he now fears that the sport is fading.

“It’s a dying sport because there’s no one making money off it; there’s no world tour, there’s no Australian tour, there’s no competitive bodyboard scene,” Mr Lucas lamented, “whereas surfing had major events that kept going through COVID.” Mr Lucas has instead been diverting his energy into making films that promote not only his pro-model board but the sport in general.

“My best mate is a photographer and he used to come down to the beach with me while I was younger. He got better at photography as I got better at bodyboarding, so it’s worked really well,” Mr Lucas explained.

Mr Lucas films with the help of great mate Anthony Kourembanas (@anthonykourembanas) but edits his own clips with knowledge gained studying film at SAE Quantum in Ultimo.

“After finishing my degree I was planning on becoming a video editor. I’m definitely interested in the sports side of editing,” Mr Lucas told The Beast.

For now though, he is hoping to entice more people to the sport that he loves.

“I prefer bodyboarding because I like getting into steeper waves. You’d have to be an amazing surfer to get on some of the waves that you can on a bodyboard,” he said.

“For a young grom, you’d be able to get an air after bodyboarding for six months or so, depending on how quickly you pick it up. You increase your water ability and tricks like 360s and airs. On a surfboard, it would take you a lot longer to learn to get air because there are so many other factors you have to take into consideration.”.

You can see Liam in action by heading to his Instagram page, @liamlucas42.

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Welcome to Supermax.

Alleged Crimes of the East Words Gary Larson Prisoner Allegedly Attacked Guard at Prince of Wales An inmate from Long Bay Correctional Complex is said to have seriously injured a prison officer in an attack at Prince of Wales Hospital.

The officer had taken the prisoner to the Randwick hospital for a medical assessment.

He was standing guard when he was allegedly set upon, along with a nurse who received minor injuries.

After undergoing emergency surgery, the officer was reported to be in a stable condition. The prisoner has been transferred to Goulburn’s ‘Supermax’ prison.

Koletti Hits the Wrong Note With ASIC Investigator The widower of con queen Melissa Caddick has got an investigator rattled through songs he recorded and then posted online.

Police applied for an apprehended violence order against Anthony Koletti on behalf of Isabella Allen, investigator with the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC).

Documents lodged in court allege that references were made to Ms Allen in an album of Koletti’s original songs, titled Raid, posted on the Spotify streaming platform. The AVO application also mentions texts

36 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

sent by Koletti to Ms Allen, an incident at the ASIC head office and LinkedIn postings.

It was Ms Allen who oversaw a raid on Caddick and Koletti’s home in Dover Heights alongside Australian Federal Police the day before the con woman’s presumed suicide. Caddick is believed to have hurled herself off a cliff a short distance from the $7 million residence. Her decomposed foot was found washed up on a South Coast beach.

Caddick, a financial adviser, milked up to $30 million from clients’ investment nest eggs.

Anthony Koletti is not accused of any involvement in the fraud. He has continued to live in the Dover Heights mansion purchased with the proceeds of crime.

As this edition of The Beast went to press, his days there were numbered and the couple’s luxury cars had been auctioned off to pay creditors.

No Joy for Dog Attack Man A Randwick man who was caught on CCTV kicking his girlfriend’s dog has been convicted of animal cruelty charges.

In Waverley Court, Svyatoslav Fenchyn was fined $1,000 plus $4,000 costs over the attack on Joy the doberman.

The court heard that 30-yearold Fenchyn had just taken Joy and his own dog for a walk when the attack took place in the foyer of a unit block.

Video footage played in court showed him kicking the animal in the face and body.

Fenchyn claimed he had been feeling stressed after Joy ran onto the road. The court was told Fenchyn’s relationship with Joy’s owner had now ended.

Teens Release Bottled-up Anger at Bondi Five teenagers were arrested at Bondi Beach after allegedly becoming violent over being refused service at a bottle shop.

Police say the incident took place just before midnight on a Saturday at a premises on Campbell Parade. A male customer and a staff member are said to

have been assaulted and the group fled.

“Officers from Eastern Suburbs Police attended and, following a foot pursuit, arrested five teenagers aged between 14 and 19,” police said in a press release.

“An officer suffered a fractured ankle during the foot pursuit and arrest. He was taken to Prince of Wales Hospital for treatment.”

Four of the teens - three boys and a girl - were charged with affray, assault and other offences.

Rock Groper A 46-year-old man is alleged to have approached a bikini-clad woman half his age at Gordons Bay and groped her breasts.

Police said he approached the 23-year-old on the pretext of helping her climb over a challenging stretch of rocks.

The man was arrested at his home in Marrickville and has been charged with sexually touching another person without consent.

Tiger’s Takeaway Run Lands Him in Court Wests Tigers player Zane Musgrove was feeling peckish one night late last year, a court heard, so he got into his BMW and headed off to get a takeaway.

However, it apparently slipped his mind that he was under a three month driving ban. The 25-year-old also forgot to turn his headlights on. At around 9.15pm, the NRL star was pulled over by police near the junction of Maroubra Road and Anzac Parade, Maroubra. When officers checked his licence, they saw it had been suspended. Not only that, but it had expired a few days earlier.

In Waverley Court, Magistrate Jacqueline Milledge told Musgrove she did not believe his story that he had been unaware of his licence suspension. She fined him $1,200 and banned him from driving for a further three months.

Maybe think about using Deliveroo, Uber Eats, Voly or Milkrun next time, Zane.

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Issue 207 April 2022 The Beast 37

Subject The Boot Location Bondi Photographer Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall

Subject On Patrol Location Coogee Photographer Brody Vancers

Subject Foxy Lady Location Coogee Photographer Kylie Mills

Subject Red Hot Location Bronte Photographer Bennett Wulff

Subject Maccas Location Bondi Junction Photographer Andrew Worssam

The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!

Subject Spread Your Wings Location Bondi Junction Photographer Graeme Bogan

Subject Tropical Location Coogee Photographer Michael Stewart

Subject Double Rainbow Location Coogee Photographer Brody Vancers

Subject Smiling Bonito Location Secret Spot Photographer Nick Spencer

Subject Pelican Pole Location Centennial Park Photographer Robert Anderson

Please send them to photos@thebeast.com.au

Patriots. That will continue next year, and I have some exciting projects coming up for Kiehl’s and some new album artwork coming soon. I’m also working on my second collection of NFTs at the moment, which I am really psyched about!

Did you study art? I studied at the Queensland College of Art. It was a great experience and it taught me to think creatively.

The only approval you need is your own.

Local Artist...

Dave Homer from Bondi Interview James Hutton Photo Izrayl Brandon Bondi’s Dave Homer is the local artist behind this month’s epic cover illustration. He shares his local favourites with The Beast...

How long have you lived here?

I moved here from the Sunshine Coast in 1999 and, aside from a few years living in the US, I’ve been here ever since.

Why do you live here? Sydney is one of the few cities in the world where you can live on the beach and be a few kilometres from the city, but the sense of community here is one of the main reasons I’ve been here for so long. As well as an eclectic group of locals, there’s an amazingly diverse bunch of tourists, backpackers and visitors that make the place what it is.

What's your favourite hang?

Costa’s on O’Brien Street incredible arepas, coffee and croissants. And the Icebergs - I see that view every day from the pool but it never gets old. I can sit there for hours as the sun sets, especially when my buddy Matty is making cocktails.

40 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

What do you do for work? I’m a working illustrator. The majority of my work comes through my agents in New York and Sydney.

I illustrate creative campaigns for companies like American Express, Coke, Ikea, Doordash, and most recently Ferrari. I was a partner in a creative team called Debaser, designing album covers and branding for artists and bands. We won four ARIAs for Best Cover Artwork. I still do a bit of music-related work.

What's your favourite thing about work? I love my job. I have one main driving passion in life and I’m very fortunate to be able to draw all day for a living.

Where can people see your work? By visiting my website at davehomer.com, and my Instagram, @davehomerdraws. The website has all of my most recent commercial work and the Insta is a more diverse collection.

What are you working on at the moment? I’ve been doing quite a bit of commercial work for the NFL team, the New England

When did you discover you had a gift for your craft? This is the only thing I’ve ever been able to do and the biggest passion all my life. It was always what I was going to do for a living, especially when it became painfully obvious that I couldn’t do anything else!

Who are your artistic inspirations? I’ve started following a huge group of really talented but as yet unknown artists on Instagram. Of the bigger name contemporary artists, I’m a huge fan of Tristian Eaton’s recent work, and Shepard Fairey’s approach and prolific output is astonishing.

Any other local artists to look out for? I absolutely love Martine Emdur’s work, and Dion Horstmans’ steel and acrylic sculptures evoke such incredible movement and power. I own one of his drawings and am currently pestering him to make a sculpture for my apartment (Dion, I’m looking at you buddy!).

Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists? Don’t try and emulate what’s on trend at any point; find your own style, trust it and build on it.

Do you have a favourite quote?

I’m not big on inspirational quotes, but Amanda Gorman’s, “The only approval you need is your own,” resonates with me.

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? I wouldn’t advise taking any words of wisdom from me!

Waverley Council Update Mayor’s Message Save Our Buses In October 2020, the NSW Government announced the privatisation of the last remaining State Transit-operated bus regions in NSW, including region 9 (eastern suburbs). The transition to private operators for our region is due to conclude this month (April). Waverley Council is opposed to the privatisation of buses in Sydney and any further removal of bus services including the emptying out of the Waverley Bus Depot. We do not agree with the state government that passengers will be better off through bus privatisation. I encourage you to visit our Save Our Buses page on our website to learn more about our efforts to protect public transport in the region.

Council also looks forward to the outcomes of the Upper House inquiry into the privatisation of bus services in NSW. The inquiry will examine the modelling, rationale and process of privatising bus services, and assess the impact that privatisation has had on the community who use the services and the workers who provide them.

Lived experience of overdevelopment In a first for NSW Local Government, Waverley Council

is investigating the establishment of a community planning advocate to help tackle overdevelopment. The advocate would be independent of the Council’s Planning Department and aspects of their role would be to undertake awareness and education programs for residents about planning matters and conduct regular Community Planning Surveys about the cumulative impacts of overdevelopment throughout Waverley. Overdevelopment is changing the nature of our built environment and destroying much of the heritage values that makes Waverley unique. I am pleased that Councillors unanimously adopted a Mayoral Minute to investigate the matter further.

Bondi Pavilion amphitheatre Council has voted to consult with industry experts, local artists and other stakeholders about the establishment of a revamped amphitheatre at Bondi Pavilion.

The amphitheatre would be in the form of a landscaped performance space in the rear courtyard of the iconic beachside venue which Council is restoring and is set to reopen to the public later this year. Councillors recently adopted a Mayoral Minute which calls for an initial consultation with key stakeholders including industry experts, the Arts and Culture Committee and local practitioners, to determine a process for the investigation that will help identify best practice

Ph: 9083 8000 | waverley.nsw.gov.au Stay in touch: waverley.nsw.gov.au/subscribe

principles and background for the progression of the amphitheatre project. An outdoor venue, the amphitheatre could offer a quintessential Bondi experience in the open air and under the stars.

SkyParks launch Council recently unveiled its first SkyParks gardens created in collaboration with Westfield Bondi Junction. SkyParks gardens will be established on car parks and rooftops in the local region, providing opportunities to research and measure cooling and species suitability, but also understand potential business, community wellbeing and education benefits of installing vegetation in hot urban spaces.

Council is delivering this project aimed at cooling our cities in collaboration with Scentre Group, owner and operator of Westfield Living Centres, Good Start Learning, BioFilta and UNSW. The project is assisted by the NSW Government and supported

by Local Government NSW. We invite you to visit our SkyParks bushtucker and coastal native gardens on Level 6 of Westfield Bondi Junction.

Paula Masselos, Mayor of Waverley

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The new landlord.

The Unreliable Guide to...

The Ethics of Pets Words and Photo Nat Shepherd Those of you who regularly read this column may remember that our 21-year-old cat died last year. He was a top lad and left a huge hole in our lives, so this week we were delighted to invite two new young fellows into the household.

‘Invite’ suggests we simply opened the door and let them wander in, and this was often the way with cats when I was a kid. A cat would turn up at your door, you’d give it some tucker, and if he/she liked the vibe of your place they might choose to stay. Or not. That was how it went. Kind of like the type of old-school friend who lives a rock and roll lifestyle and enjoys using your place as a crash pad.

Today though, things are different. Pets are a multi-billion-dollar industry. Last year, Australians spent a staggering $22 billion dollars on our furry friends, yet every year around 200,000 perfectly healthy cats and dogs are euthanised in Australia’s animal shelters and 42 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

pounds for lack of good homes.

Clearly, something is going wrong, but never fear, The Unreliable Guide is here to guide you through the maze of ethical pet ownership.

Save a Life We found our new boys online by using the wonderful website/ app, petrescue.com.au. This magnificent national organisation helps “rescue pets, who may otherwise go unnoticed, find a new family to love for life”. They collate data from individual rescue services around the country and format it so you can find the perfect fit for your family. They have mainly cats and dogs, but they also find new homes for chicken, sheep, parrots, ducks, guinea pigs, goats, rabbits, ferrets, horses... and a really cute pig called Bean (I was quite tempted to adopt Bean, until my better half reminded me that we live in a small city apartment and the neighbours might take umbrage

at co-existing with a 70kg piglet that is only going to grow).

The app is incredibly easy to use. Once you’ve filled in your details and the type, age and sex of pet you want, they send you updates whenever a suitable animal needs a home.

And that was the hard part for me. We found our two brothers very quickly, but I didn’t remember to turn off the updates, and there were hundreds of gorgeous little kittens, all looking for their forever home.

It’s heartbreaking to know that if those sweet faces don’t find that home quickly they will be ‘humanely’ killed, while other, overbred fancy breeds are selling for thousands of dollars.

Should We Keep Pets at All? Bioethicist Dr Jessica Pierce believes that pet ownership is problematic because it denies animals the right to self-determination. In her book, Run Spot Run, she argues that the idea of pet ‘ownership’ renders animals into commodities, giving us the power of life and death over sentient beings.

When you see how some people keep their pets, locked up alone all day, dressed in ridiculous costumes on TikTok, or worse, I start to think she’s right. The keeping of pets can only be ethical if that animal’s biological and psychological needs are satisfied. If that isn’t the case, then it’s cruelty. Plain and simple.

Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests that having a pet gives us an important insight into animals - an insight that can bring empathy. Life for all animals will only improve when we recognise that we’re not the only thinking, feeling beings on this planet. With some pundits suggesting it won’t be long before we start replacing living pets with robotic versions, I seriously worry about the future.

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

Randwick News Randwick Mayor Dylan Parker Randwick Council has long been committed to sustainability and reducing our energy consumption and carbon emissions, so I’m pleased that we have signed a landmark deal to go 100% solar, starting 1 July 2022.

This is three years ahead of the schedule we set in our Environment Strategy.

All of our operations, including libraries, DRLC, sports fields and council streetlights will be powered by solar energy supplied by NSW solar farms. This will cut our electricity emissions to zero, saving 7,000 tonnes of CO2 a year.

Last month we celebrated the first anniversary of our FOGO waste service. A huge thank you goes to every resident who has made the change to using FOGO, you’ve had a huge impact on our environment. Since March 2020, we have collected more than 14,000 tonnes of food and organic waste, that’s around twice the weight of the steel used in the Anzac Bridge.

These are significant environmental milestones and important steps to take to ensure that we meet the challenge of climate change. It also shows what can be achieved when we work together as a community.

On that note, thank you to everyone who contributed your thoughts to the upgrade of Maroubra Junction. We will progress to design development and tender, so keep your eye on that project to see how we will create an inviting community space for everyone.

Councillor Dylan Parker Mayor of Randwick

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

WEDNESDAY 6 APRIL SPARK IN THE PARK

10am-12pm Randwick Community Centre 27 Munda Street, Randwick

SUNDAY 10 APRIL COOGEE ISLAND CHALLENGE 7.30am-noon Coogee Beach

THURSDAY 21 APRIL SMARTPHONE AND TABLET BASIC TRAINING FOR CHINESE SPEAKING SENIORS

2pm, Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Parade, Maroubra

FRIDAY 22 APRIL CRAFTERNOON

2pm, Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Pde, Maroubra

MONDAY 25 APRIL ANZAC DAWN SERVICE

5am, Goldstein Reserve, Coogee

The number-one ticket holder.

Have You Seen This Man? Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblakewriter.org Photo Gavin Miller Authorities and welfare organisations are attempting to identify and locate a man seen wandering the Eastern Suburbs pleading with local sporting clubs to become their number-one ticket holder.

The man is believed to have grown up in the region and is described as Caucasian, middle-aged, chubby and bespectacled, who is “…otherwise unremarkable aside from an affixed smirk which is equally arrogant and condescending.”

The desperate man was first sighted in Bondi Junction wearing a Sydney Roosters jersey and baseball cap. Witnesses say he ordered a beer at Artie’s before approaching club bosses, 44 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

muttering, “How good are the Roosters!” and demanding to be made the club’s number-one ticket holder for season 2022 and beyond.

The dejected figure was then seen in Kingsford a few hours later in cardinal and myrtle, claiming to be best friends with Russ. He then ordered a beer at Henry Morris Bar and demanded to be made number-one ticket holder of the Rabbitohs.

Stories of similar sightings throughout the East then emerged.

“Yeah, that’s the guy we saw a while ago,” confirmed club bosses at Randwick District Rugby Union Football Club.

“He was dressed in our jersey

and scarf, ordered a beer and forced everyone to shake his hand. Kept saying, ‘How good are the Galloping Greens’, then said Campo’s gonna have a great season and asked if the Ella brothers were all fit.

We felt sorry for him until he demanded to be made number-one ticket holder, then we showed him the door.”

One Beasties stalwart recounted his own tale of the listless wanderer.

“I’ve seen some strange things at footy clubs - you know, boys will be boys - but this was bizarre. Decked out in full playing kit, even the shorts - not pretty - he strolled into The Field, ordered a beer and insisted on meeting a board member,” the stalwart explained.

“One of our execs decided to humour the poor guy, but when she introduced herself he scoffed and demanded to meet a ‘real’ board member. That’s when our props did some lineout practice and dumped him on O’Sullivan Road.”

Authorities also received complaints about the unwelcome intruder from the Waratahs, Sydney Swans and Sydney FC, as well as Sydney Coastal Junior Cricket Club, who were left with no choice but to contact police after the man appeared at a junior competition saying, “I know Dave Warner and Kaja, Kawi, Kijawa… you know, the foreign bloke.”

“We made it clear we wanted nothing to do with him. I mean, we’ve got kids at this club.”

Law enforcement and mental health experts have not identified a precise cause for the behaviour, which began in the lead-up to the most recent federal election. Police are also investigating a possible link with an eerily similar case at Shark Park in early 2016.

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stamaroubra.catholic.edu.au Issue 207 April 2022 The Beast 45

Cheese.

Waverley Council Launches SITTY2Surf Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblakewriter.org Photo Sonakshi Sinha Waverley Council has paired up with Randwick Council to launch the SITTY2Surf initiative and guarantee uncrowded waves to the surfers of the Eastern Beaches.

SITTY2Surf actively promotes a burgeoning trend sweeping Australia’s eastern seaboard. Beautiful young things don their favourite bikini, boardies or wetsuit, and carry their surfboard to the beach, before taking myriad selfies and posting to Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok or YouTube (SITTY), without ever dipping a toe in the water. SITTY Surfers merely exploit the image of surfing to attract and impress online followers.

“SITTY2Surf is an exciting initiative through which both councils will keep SITTY Surfers out of the water,” began a joint statement.

“It addresses the scourge of overcrowded waves, which is an unfortunate side-effect of living in paradise, and it works in the following way,” it continued.

46 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

“Councils have installed fibre-to-the-shore superfast broadband at surf beaches for real time uploads, encouraging SITTY Surfers to pose anywhere on the shoreline, except between the red and yellow flags.

In addition, cloud seeding will ensure endless blue-sky days, and the water will be treated with a bright blue dye, like the ponds at fancy golf courses, to create the ultimate backdrop.”

“Trucks will start delivering sugar-white sand from Hyams Beach, and giant fans will be installed at surfing beaches to create wind-blown hair. They also offer the added bonus of providing permanent offshore winds.”

Keeping SITTY Surfers on the sand reduces the likelihood of surf rage and has been established to coincide with the reopening of Australia’s borders, which is sure to lure hordes of international surfers back to beaches such as Bondi.

Council also explained that a team of stylists, makeup artists

and brand consultants will be on hand at every beach except Clovelly and Coogee to prettify the Bondi beauties and the smooth-chested Cariocas from the land of Samba. As a result, the only people left in the water will be crusty old men on longboards, bodysurfers and those of us who long ago accepted that we are not Instaworthy.

SITTY Surfers can use the SITTY2Surf App to check who currently has the most followers and wins priority to the best patch of sand. The app will also carry a daily list of trending hashtags, as well as advice on who we must #StandWith on any given day.

Via the app, councils will also have the power to remove followers from the account of any SITTY Surfer caught entering the water and actually surfing a wave.

“In this way, SITTY2Surf will be more effective than a threat from a Bra Boy, and will deter more surfers than a beach full of blue bottles.”

WENTWORTH’S INDEPENDENT

Hi, I’m Allegra I’m a business leader and renewable energy advocate. I grew up and went to school right here in Wentworth. And now I’m raising my family in this beautiful place we all call home.

Wentworth is home to many talented people – from artists to doctors, from scientists to business people, from teachers to technology entrepreneurs. Together we have built an amazing community. We share a respect for family. We support our local businesses. We value different cultures and beliefs. And we care deeply about the welfare of others and the future of this planet – not just our own affairs.

I’m standing up as your independent candidate to represent these views and values. I have the energy and drive to be your voice in Canberra and I’m prepared to take action on what’s important to all of us.

I’m particularly concerned to take swift, decisive action on climate change to protect our planet for future generations.

I’ll work with experts and scientists and weigh up all the evidence to make informed decisions. And I’m always interested to hear from local people, clubs and associations, so please reach out to me on issues that are important to you.

It’s time to step above two-party politics. I’m willing and committed to work hard to represent you and get results.

I will listen to the community, consult with experts, and always vote in your best interests.”

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

AllegraSpender.com.au Allegra Spender

Be like this guy.

Tune Out the Noise Words Rob Shears Photo Serena Tee Bad news sells, and there has been plenty of it lately. We read it for various reasons, and then focus on it, and it overshadows everything. The threats are real and scary. This year it is the COVID pandemic, the Russian invasion of Ukraine and global warming. Next year it will be another set of issues. It’s easy to get caught up in the fear and move with the skittish sharemarket herd and run.

It used to be easier to tune out the bad news; we used to have to go out and buy it or turn the TV or radio on. But now it comes to us, and lately it has been non-stop. We are living in the information age and it can be overwhelming. Our devices ping, ding and ring with notifications of events all day. Lucky we have sleep mode!

While I am not trying to downplay these threats, from a 48 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

wealth creation perspective I do believe it to be more productive to tune out and change our perspective. Over time, these events are small bumps and have little impact on our investments. In fact, the events create a necessity of invention that we often later ride as an investment wave.

In the last 122 years there have been multiple pandemics, two world wars, depressions, numerous recessions, many smaller wars, toppled governments, incompetent presidents and prime ministers, terrorist attacks, inflation bouts and commodity supply fears. Despite these terrible events, the world continued to gradually improve over time.

Improvements are so gradual that regressions appear exaggerated at the time. The facts are that the world today is safer and

more connected, and the living standards are many times higher than they were a century ago.

But growth is not a straight line. There were certainly periods of terrible market returns since 1900, including 25 years of stagnation from 1929, 34 years from 1968, and 13 years from 2000, yet despite these major pullbacks, most countries experienced an average of around 10 per cent growth per annum.

This recent history teaches us to understand the likely outcome from similar events. If we can use the lessons of history to filter the noise, we will be better investors. For those who can do this, they will help build future productivity increases and technological advances. They will invest in the future. If we follow the herd in fear, we may miss our investment opportunity to be part of the future’s better world.

For those who are patient and optimistic, the opportunities today are as plentiful as they have ever been, if not better than our recent past. Unlike previous generations, we now have technology to efficiently filter the noise to enable us to focus on creating a wealthy future, not only for ourselves but for others too. It is easier now to be part of the collective who grow wealth and the future for all.

Tune out the noise to build true wealth over time.

Rob Shears is an Authorised Representative of Valor Financial Group (AFSL 405452). This advice is general and does not take into account your objectives, financial situation or needs.

You should consider whether the advice is suitable for you and your personal circumstances.

IT I S FAR B E T TE R TO I NVE ST I N A WO N D E R F U L CO M PAN Y AT A FAI R P R I CE , THAN A FAI R CO M PAN Y AT A WO N D E R F U L P R I CE WARREN BUFFETT

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Valor Private Wealth Pty Limited is a Corporate Authorised Representative (Corporate Authorised Representative No. 409498) of Valor Financial Group Pty Limited, AFSL No. 405452, ABN 81150590453.

We all know one.

Step Outside!

Words Jeremy Ireland Photo Matt Groening Have you ever been in a fight?

My mind immediately takes me back to year five, to an innocent lunchtime basketball game that went pear-shaped. Without warning, I was crash tackled from behind and a scuffle broke out, a fat lip and loose tooth were the result. Reflecting on it now, I feel a bit silly - embarrassed even - that such a minor incident had such a lasting impact. Sure, I was just a kid, but looking back now I realise it wasn’t so much the fight itself that I remember, but the overpowering feelings of aggression stirred up by the sudden burst of adrenalin.

Aggression can take many forms and have numerous definitions, but most often refers to behaviour that is intended to harm another person or group of people. Aggression can take the form of words - think two people flinging spiteful remarks at each other, or maybe the spreading of an ugly rumour, either verbally or written.

Even failure to act can be a form of aggression, especially if that failure is known to have 50 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

some negative consequence or outcome.

At the pointy end of aggression, whether we’re dishing it out or on the receiving end, we are often taking on emotions and attitudes that lean towards anger and hostility, unless of course we are dealing with a ‘narcissistic psychopath’ where no emotion is shown at all.

Psychopaths aside, it’s worth knowing that we have two main types of aggression: proactive and reactive. With the proactive type, harm is inflicted as a means to a desired end.

A standover man or dictator, for example, will inflict harm for some kind of gain, whether personal or otherwise. Even self-defence fits this definition. With reactive aggression, however, harm is inflicted for its own sake, often seen as impulsive and emotional, carried out in the heat of the moment.

Road rage, for example, or insults directed at the opposing crowd at a footy match, or even jealousy, fit the definition of reactive aggression.

It can be difficult to differentiate between these two types of aggression and identify what the motivation behind each type might be. In a typical schoolyard bullying situation, if the person being picked on was to suddenly lash out and hit the perpetrator, is that an attempt to gain some advantage, or does it reflect someone who is losing control and striking out in frustration? It can be a fine line.

Bullying is worth further consideration. It can be done passively or aggressively, and can take place just about anywhere.

It leans more towards proactive aggression and usually involves intentional and deliberate physical and/or emotional harm. Whether it’s two counties at war, your boss at work, or even online, the equation is the same, using repetition and an

imbalance - if not abuse - of power to force some kind of persuaded outcome.

The Internet provides a major platform for bullying. A 2012 study across 24 countries showed that 60 per cent of participants had experienced cyberbullying via emails, social networking sites, chat rooms and other forms of technology.

As convenient as technology can be, its dark side is a faceless world that blurs the boundaries of time and space, giving it the potential to infiltrate pretty much anywhere at anytime.

Anyone can fall victim to cyberbullying, but it is rife among children, especially during the transitional years between primary and secondary school.

If you are being bullied, there are some important things to consider. A bully will only be as powerful as we allow them to be, so the less we kowtow to them, the more their power diminishes. When they strike, don’t strike back; just stay as calm and as courteous as you can. A bully’s primary concern is to make us feel alone and powerless, so stay connected with close friends and family.

If our bully is the verbal type and we feel the need to reply, use concise and unemotive language. When the time is right, respond with a cool head, remove yourself from the situation, take a breath and let the adrenalin subside before speaking. Although it’s easier said than done, be assertive.

And react early, because the longer our bully bullies, the harder it will be to stem it.

If bullying does persist and you feel it’s getting the better of you, professional help is available.

Have you got a question?

Please contact Jeremy at bondicounsellingservices.com.

Bondi Counselling Services JEREMY IRELAND Grad. Dip. Psychology Dip. Counselling B.A. Comm.

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OPEN DAYS

• Monday 28 March 2022 • Monday 2 May 2022 • Monday 23 May 2022 4.00pm-5.30pm hcpswoollahra.catholic.edu.au facebook.com/holycrosswoollahra Issue 207 April 2022 The Beast 51

What a waste.

Where Is All the Money Going?

Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill, Member for Coogee Photo David Boondoggle Over the past months, we have witnessed industrial action by frontline workers in health, education and public transport, all seeking safer and better working conditions, including the preservation of essential workers compensation entitlements that the NSW Government is trying to remove and the establishment of much needed nurse to patient ratios. Our community, including school P&Fs, are also vigorously campaigning for the government to fully fund our public schools, which are now dependent upon parent-led fundraising efforts to meet basic needs, and for the return of the many bus routes and stops that have been stripped away in the move to privatisation.

So, why can’t the NSW Government do a better job in meeting our needs in these fundamentally important public service areas? We all understand that government resources are limited and that most of us are unwilling or unable to pay more taxes. From what I hear, the community thinks that it’s about priorities, and that the government has it wrong. I agree with them.

In the East, it started with the demolition of a functioning Sydney Football Stadium and its replacement, now estimated to cost $1 billion.

Then we got the Albert (Tibby) Cotter Bridge across Anzac Parade, known fondly by locals as ‘The Bridge to Nowhere’, at a cost of $38 million, which necessitated the construction of another pedestrian bridge close by at a further cost of $16 million. Let’s not forget the CBD and South East 52 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

Light Rail at a cost of over $3.3 billion. There is nothing inherently wrong with government spending money on new infrastructure, but did these enormous expenditures represent a wise and necessary use of taxpayers’ money?

Aside from directing precious resources away from critical needs in public services, extraordinary waste has also occurred. Consider the NSW Government decision to spend $2.88 billion on trains that do not fit the track and cannot be used at all, or the $3.3 billion spent on trams that are now cracked and falling apart and have put the Inner West Light Rail out of action for 12 months.

Or the new River Class ferries, part of a $1.3 billion dollar contract, delivered to Australia full of asbestos, that cannot be used at night and do not fit under two bridges over the Parramatta River.

It’s a lot of money that could have been spent on improving our health and education and allowing us to keep our buses!

There have also been alarming examples of misuse of resources that go beyond issues of waste and mistaken priorities. The NSW Government paid $53.5 million - three times as much as the Valuer General’s estimate - for a parcel of highly contaminated land at Camellia near Parramatta, which earned a Sydney property developer a $15 million windfall and cost taxpayers $100 million in decontamination. An economically and environmentally shocking $775 million worth of personal protective equipment (PPE) was discarded because it either didn’t meet Therapeutic Goods Administration (TGA) requirements, was faulty or had expired, including more than $150 million worth of face masks.

Upwards of $1 million was spent on indoor plants for a new government office in Parramatta. More than $754,000 over two years was spent on NSW Government branding, including style guides, templates and a change to the official font used by government departments. It may be considered small change in the overall misallocation of funds, but it’s money that could have made a big difference at a local school.

At the 2019 state election the two major parties made a clear distinction as to their priorities.

While Labor committed to schools and hospitals (before stadiums), nurse-to-patient ratios and fulfilling the Gonski recommendations to fully fund our public schools, the Liberals promised we could have it all, but that is far from what we got.

What we have experienced instead has been a massive waste and misallocation of our taxes and an underfunding of essential key industries. It’s not that we can’t afford properly funded quality health, education and public transport. We just need to get our priorities right.

PLANNING Community Town Hall Wednesday, April 6th, 2022 from 6-7pm Dr Marjorie O’Neill MP Member for Coogee

Paul Scully MP

Labor’s Shadow Minister for Planning Please scan the QR code to register

Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP Member for Coogee If you need assistance, please do not hesitate to contact my office and follow my social pages for regular updates.

Phone (02) 9398 1822 Email coogee@parliament.nsw.gov.au Address 15/53-55B Frenchmans Road, Randwick NSW 2031 Facebook MarjorieONeillCoogeeMP Instagram marjorieoneillcoogee Twitter marjorieSONeill Authorised by Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP. Funded using parliamentary entitlements.

What a man!

A Dangerous and Uncertain Time for Global Peace and Stability Words Dave Sharma, MP for Wentworth Photo Wladimir Klitschko Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is a shocking and abominable action.

Such military aggression, on a scale not seen in Europe since World War II, will lead to tragic loss of civilian lives, and a potential humanitarian catastrophe.

I know from my conversations locally that the war is of deep concern to all Australians, including the many residents of Wentworth who are of Ukrainian or Russian heritage.

It will also have a direct impact on Australia. It will disrupt global financial and energy markets, strain supply chains and raise risks for the global economic recovery post-pandemic.

Russia’s use of force to occupy the sovereign territory of another nation is a threat to global 54 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

peace and stability, including in our own region.

Other major powers, including our neighbours, will be watching the West’s response to Russian aggression closely, and learning lessons from it.

This is why it is so important that Australia speaks loudly in condemning this act of aggression, and that we play our part in responding forcefully to Russia’s naked challenge to the global order.

I’ve been in continuous discussions with my colleagues in the government about how Australia should respond to this crisis, and have been offering advice based on my two decades of experience as an Australian diplomat.

I’ve also been in regular contact with Ukraine’s senior diplomats stationed in Australia, plus our overseas diplomatic missions.

Australia has announced a new range of financial sanctions and travel bans against over 350 key Russian officials.

We will also reinforce the SWIFT ban against selected Russian banks and measures preventing Russia’s Central Bank from accessing foreign reserves.

We will be providing lethal and non-lethal military equipment and supplies to Ukraine, and supporting humanitarian efforts to assist the civilian population of Ukraine.

Australia also stands ready to respond generously to any resettlement needs stemming from this conflict. Ukrainian applications for visas are being fast-tracked, and all Ukrainian nationals in Australia will be provided an automatic extension to any expiring visas.

I also recommended that Australia refer Russia to the International Criminal Court for possible war crimes investigations, a suggestion the Foreign Minister has now taken up.

The courage of Ukraine’s leadership and its people in standing up so bravely to Russia’s onslaught is to be commended, and they deserve all our support.

If you have concerns for Australians who are in Ukraine, please check the latest Smartraveller advice by visiting www.smartraveller.gov.au.

The Australian Federation of Ukrainian Organisations (www.ozeukes.com) is coordinating events in solidarity and support of Ukraine. There is also a Ukraine Crisis Appeal (www.ukrainecrisisappeal.org).

This is a dangerous and uncertain time for global peace and stability.

dave.sharma.mp@aph.gov.au 02 9327 3988 Scan this QR code to complete my community survey online.

EXPERIENCED

DELIVERING

Return of the mack.

Crazy Captures Galore Words and Photo Lewis Kennedy-Hunt With unprecedented rainfall and increased shark encounters, this past month has seen yet another period of epic summer fishing. The usual suspects - kingfish, jewfish and other pelagics - have continued to fire, but it’s the increased frequency of rarer catches that have been of particular interest.

A few young fishos were lucky enough to capture a decent cobia off Maroubra recently, on a fillet of Bonito flicked from their small tinnie.

Even more spectacular was the huge cobia caught off the Raptor Charters boat in Sydney Harbour.

Going off the photo that was doing the rounds, the fish looked to be about 1.2 metres, which I would estimate to weigh up around 20kg!

Cobia are known to hang off big stingrays or big sharks, and one could only wonder what brought this fish into the harbour. Around the same time, and in a similar zone, a lucky angler caught, tagged and released a big bull shark. The beast fell victim to a whole mack tuna and even featured on 7 News. Since last month’s fatal shark attack at Little Bay, sharks certainly seem to be at the front of many people’s minds right now.

Thicklip trevally, or false bluefin trevally (commonly mistaken for bluefin trevally), have been observed in numbers, with multiple catches around local estuaries and rock platforms. These fish are usually associated with the warm waters of Coffs Harbour and Queensland, and I’ve only 56 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

ever personally encountered them in the crystal clear waters off the western side of Fraser Island.

Another crazy capture last month was a small dogtooth tuna, caught on a lure off Little Bay (the same location as the fatal shark attack). Anglers have traditionally flocked to remote tropical locations to catch these prized trophy fish, and I have never heard of dogtooth tuna being caught here.

If there was a standout local capture this month though, this one takes the cake. Publisher of The Beast, James Hutton, and local winemaker Nick Spencer had an epic session on the bonnies off one of their favourite Eastern Suburbs ledges on a balmy late February morning. While enjoying consistent captures of hard fighting bonito, their excitement was trumped when local fishing legend Gianni Mavro hooked onto something far bigger. After a long fight and multiple big runs, the amateur fishos watched on in awe as Gianni muscled a hefty yellowfin tuna up onto the rocks.

Without having seen hard evidence, I would usually be very sceptical of such a claim, but the unmistakable glistening yellow in James’ photograph of a fish around 10kg and 80cm quickly dismissed any scepticism I may have had. The fish was caught on a Maria Duplex Legend lure, and I can only assume it would have to be the capture of this lucky angler’s life. Like dogtooth tuna, yellowfin tuna are usually found in the warm waters further north and are very scarce around Sydney. What an amazing feat it is to catch one locally, especially from the stones.

There’s no doubt in my mind that the warm water-bearing Eastern Australian Current, which is bending uncharacteristically close to the Sydney coastline as a result of the La Niña weather pattern, is responsible for the influx of these unusual captures. With water temperatures up to and exceeding 25 degrees it is no wonder these fish are making their way down the coast.

Bonito are also about in great abundance, with some schools entering the harbour, although the main biomass is holding off the inshore reefs and ledges. A recent session at one of my local haunts saw bonito so thick I could barely get a lure past them to the snapper I was targeting. Bonito are voracious predators and love a high-speed retrieve of just about any smallish baitfish lure.

There are plenty of snapper around too, with models up to 50cm - and the odd larger one being caught with ease in the low light of the early mornings and late afternoons. Smaller mack tuna, like the ones swarming the harbour, are also thick on the inshore reefs, with the odd school of larger macks in the mix. Despite not being a very sought after species by any means, they do give an exhilarating fight on the right tackle.

April 2022 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

4 0415 1017 1607 2230

0.48 1.46 0.55 1.69

5 0458 1056 1636 2306

0.54 1.36 0.63 1.66

11 0349 1048 1701 2228

1.49 0.64 1.25 0.81

12 0449 1134 1745 2322

1.55 0.57 1.34 0.72

18 0312 0915 1512 2135

0.34 1.65 0.40 1.91

19 0403 1006 1554 2221

0.33 1.56 0.47 1.92

25 0342 1033 1645 2223

1.68 0.48 1.38 0.71

26 0446 1125 1737 2327

1.69 0.45 1.48 0.64

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1 0308 0920 1536 2145

0.41 1.74 0.36 1.68

2 0352 1000 1608 2222

7 0632 0.65 1225 1.21 1748 0.78

8 0030 0730 1323 1842

1.55 0.69 1.16 0.84

13 0537 1.62 1213 0.50 1823 1.44

14 0009 0620 1247 1859

15 0053 0701 1322 1934

20 0459 1100 1639 2311

21 0600 0.41 1200 1.36 1730 0.65 28 0022 0629 1247 1902

Moons

Moon • New Quarter • First Moon • Full • Last Quarter

Friday

6 0542 1137 1709 2345

0.59 1.28 0.70 1.61

0.36 1.46 0.56 1.89

27 0541 1.69 1209 0.44 1822 1.58

0.62 1.68 0.43 1.55

0.57 1.67 0.43 1.66

South Maroubra Glow, by Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall.

Sunday 3 0333 0940 1538 2157

0.44 1.56 0.48 1.71

9 0128 1.50 0840 0.71 1439 1.14 1955 0.88

10 0237 0949 1601 2118

1.47 0.69 1.17 0.87

0.53 1.72 0.38 1.67

16 0137 0744 1357 2013

0.44 1.73 0.36 1.77

17 0223 0829 1433 2052

0.38 1.71 0.36 1.86

22 0007 0708 1307 1831

1.83 0.46 1.29 0.73

23 0112 0822 1426 1947

1.75 0.50 1.26 0.78

24 0226 0932 1543 2109

1.70 0.50 1.30 0.77

29 0110 0713 1322 1940

0.52 1.62 0.45 1.73

30 0154 0754 1354 2015

0.49 1.57 0.48 1.77

0.42 1.66 0.41 1.71

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Beatuifully honest insights.

Huck Hastings: Bondi’s Fledgling Star Words Alasdair McClintock @aldothewriter Photo Angus Bell Young If you’ve wandered into Gertrude & Alice on Hall Street in the past couple of years, you might recognise Harrie ‘Huck’ Hastings, often seen smiling behind the coffee machine surrounded by a gentle glow.

This glow is not just the result of a cheery disposition, I assure you, it is the aura of a fledgling star. Don’t believe me? Listen to Huck’s debut album, Cheers to Progress, and you’ll soon agree.

Huck caught up with The Beast, before packing up to leave our shores for a few months to do some writing.

“I’ve just put all my stuff into storage and am currently living nowhere officially until I head 58 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

to Sweden,” Huck explained, “but I’m kicking around the east a lot still, usually around Gertrude & Alice or down by Mahon Pool.”

Hastings’ music is sentimental, lyric-driven, indie pop, and easily evokes artists like Elliot Smith and Bright Eyes. The influences - or “teachers”, as Hastings refers to them - don’t stop there though.

“The list is kind of endless,” Huck admitted.

Huck’s songwriting is a beautifully honest insight into life.

“I treat it like a bit of a fragmented autobiography, kind of summing up my life into tiny musical chapters. I use writing

to process and reflect on situations in my life and how I’ve acted within them, sometimes I don’t really understand how I feel about a situation until I’ve written about it.”

When pressed, or praised, however, Huck is quick to deflect. Say you love the album and you’ll quickly be recommended someone else to listen to; exemplified by his eagerness to compile a Spotify playlist of local artists, to coincide with the release of this article.

“I think that Sydney has a mind-boggling amount of incredibly talented songwriters and bands,” Huck said.

“I’m always blown away by the work of my peers. I do feel, unfortunately, most of the venues and shows mainly happen in the Inner West. It would be cool to get a bit more original music happening in the East.

I reckon live music at Bondi Bowlo should be a regular thing. It would be such a great place to put on a day festival.”

Huck also has a couple of side projects in Hacky Sack and Hollow States, which are well worth listening to.

“I have been playing kind of non-stop since things eased, mainly with the Hacky Sack crew, who are all Eastern Suburbs peeps,” Huck said.

“I like the sense of camaraderie that comes with collaboration.”

“My first memory of performing publicly was bursting into tears in the finals of a local busking competition when I was about seven. I found, and often still find, it terribly nerve wracking to get up on stage, but there has always been something compelling me to do it.”

You can follow Huck’s music, and listen to that local playlist, on Spotify and the usual socials (@huckhastings). His new song ‘Jane’, a tribute to Gertrude & Alice’s very own Jane Turner, will be out this April too!

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COM E D OWN , DO SO M E L A P S A N D HE LP R AI S E F U NDS FOR OCEA N H ER O E S A N D SU P P O RT T HOS E I N T HE COM M U N IT Y L I VI N G WI T H AU T I SM .

R E G I ST E R FO R T HE E VE N T VI A Q R CO D E H E R E J O I N U S F R O M 3 P M 27 M AR FO R D R I N KS , AU C T I O N S , RAFFLES + PRIZES! To s u p p o r t t h e eve n t i n a nyway p l e a s e e m a i l : r ya n @ e - l a b t ra i n i n g .co m

S P O NS O RE D BY

1 sheet frozen puff pastry, store bought 1 tbs dijon mustard 1 egg, beaten

Greater than the sum of its tarts.

Leek, Apple and Pecorino Tart Words and Photo Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine As a big fan of using leeks in cooking, I’ve made the onion’s cousin a hero in this vegetarian tart recipe, highlighting how nicely it pairs with apple, as well as the addition of fragrant thyme, sharp pecorino and tangy dijon mustard.

For simplicity and time efficiency, store-bought puff pastry is your friend here, although the recipe would also work well with shortcrust pastry, for those more adventurous cooks who would like to have a crack at making their own.

This is a delicious savoury recipe with a little sweetness 60 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

from the apple that would go well for brunch or accompanied by a fresh side salad for lunch. I hope you enjoy!

Ingredients 1 pink lady apple, peeled, finely sliced into rounds - use a mandolin if you have one 2 leeks, rinsed and sliced into rounds 2 tsp fresh thyme leaves ½ cup pecorino, finely grated 1 tbs olive oil ¼ cup white wine ¼ cup thickened cream A pinch of salt ¼ tsp cracked black pepper

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 200℃.

2. In a fry pan, set to medium heat, add the olive oil and sautee the leeks, stirring occasionally until softened (not browned) for about 10 minutes.

3. Add in the white wine and reduce, then add in the cream, salt and pepper and fresh thyme leaves.

4. Reduce heat to low and cook for a further 5 minutes. Remove from the heat.

5. Slightly defrost your sheet of puff pastry and place onto a sheet of baking paper.

6. Spoon over the dijon mustard and spread evenly over the puff pastry, leaving a 1cm border.

7. Place a neat layer of the sliced apple over the pastry sheet, then add the leek mixture, again spreading evenly.

8. Finally, top the filling with ¾ of the pecorino and brush the edges of the pastry with a little of the egg wash.

9. Place the baking paper and pastry into the oven, reduce the heat to 180℃ and cook for 25 minutes. The pastry should be golden and cooked through.

10. Remove from the oven and sprinkle over the remaining pecorino. Slice and serve hot or slightly cooled.

Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to here in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.

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ACROSS 1. Scottish Rocker (3,7) 7. A male descendant (3) 8. Jewish religious festival celebrated this April (8) 10. The art of persuasion (8) 11. Slang for sausage (4) 12. An official order or proclamation issued by a person in authority (5) 13. A rousing or uplifting song (6) 16. Hindu or Buddhist mystical or magical text (6) 18. She had a penchant for shoes (6) 19. Band featuring brothers Noel & Liam (5) 21. Stretchy polyurethane fabric (7)

DOWN 1. An instance of coming back into use or importance (12) 2. A plant with yellow flowers (9) 3. Common abbreviation for arrival time (1,1,1) 4. Lou Gherig’s disease is also known as this abbreviated (1,1,1) 5. Inn or pub (6) 6. Heritage listed Sydney dam (10) 8. Student supervisor (7) 9. Hookah tobacco (6) 11. Remain in a particular position (3) 14. Wanderer (5) 15. Rim of the external ear (5) 17. Referring to a specific thing just mentioned (4) 20. Starting price in racing terms (1,1)

Trivial Trivia Words Lisa Anderson Photo Tom Casey 1. What was the President of Ukraine’s former occupation?

2. What did Josh Frydenberg do during his gap year?

3. What was one of the unexpected jobs Pope Francis had before he was a priest?

4. What is the only capital city starting with U?

Orange Cloey.

64 The Beast April 2022 Issue 207

5. Who was the youngest Prime Minister to take office out of Paul Keating, Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard and Scott Morrison?

6. What is the only edible fruit of the orchid family?

7. What was Alfred Nobel’s most famous invention?

8. Mcflurries are having what crumbs added to them for a short-term promotion in China?

9. What was the first album to sell over a million copies in Australia?

10. The Australian cinema industry began with the release of which feature-length film?

GANG OF YOUTHS angel in realtime.

Label Mosy Recordings Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating  Shamalamadingdong! There are few things I wait for with bated breath - apart from my kids to go to sleep - but angel in realtime. has been on the list for some time. Apart from being an autocorrect pain in the arse, it has not disappointed, unlike my kids.

Why won’t you go to sleep, you little bastards?! My kids, I mean, not Gang of Youths. Anyway, I’m not a huge U2 fan, but there are elements of that big, soaring, atmospheric sound here. Lock the door, pour yourself a goblet of your favourite drop, put on noise cancelling headphones, and enjoy.

BROODS Space Island Label Island Records Australia Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating 

HIVE Genre Drama Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador Hive is writer-director Blerta Basholli’s poignant feature film debut based on the inspiring true story of Fahrije Hoti who, through her fearlessness and perseverance, conquers overwhelming odds to achieve independence in her deeply patriarchal village in Kosovo.

Like many of the other women, Fahrije’s (Yllka Gashi) husband remains missing after the war. Living in a state of limbo not knowing whether she is widowed, she is told she will bring shame upon the family if she works.

Much to the disapproval of the misogynistic menfolk, but in order to deal with her grief and provide for her children and disabled father-inlaw, Fahrije initiates a small business venture and encourages other widows to join her.

Although the women are initially discouraging and scornful of Fahrije’s business, their apprehensiveness makes way for acceptance as they realise they can take control of their lives and break from their oppressive existence. Hive is yet another outstanding, multi-award-winning film for the ‘Oh my God, I am so lucky to live where I do’ category.

If you’re wondering what Broods sound like, the album title, Space Island, is the perfect descriptor.

They combine a summer afternoon BBQ vibe, with the ambience of David Bowie’s Major Tom. Drinking from a coconut while staring directly at Saturn, that sort of thing. Given it’s pitched as a ‘breakup album’, it raises some deeply uncomfortable philosophical questions. Is it better if our favourite artists suffer, and thus produce better music?

Does their pain benefit us greatly, purely in terms of entertainment? Quite simply, yes, it does.

MIDNIGHT OIL RESIST Label Sony Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating  All these years and Midnight Oil are still fighting the good fight. Good on them! Impressively, on RESIST, there is still a great sense of urgency and belief. This is also kind of depressing as it is indicative of how little progress there has actually been.

Midnight Oil are Midnight Oil and Peter Garrett is Peter Garrett, we all know what to expect. You can easily imagine Garrett scrambling lithely across the stage, with that beautiful shiny head of his glowing under the spotlight, while belting out these songs with incredible gusto. Worth a listen.

Issue 207 April 2022 The Beast 65

Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Overinsure all your belongings right now, before some other unexpected catastrophe rolls around and ruins your life.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 When you haven’t had your monthly plough for over a year, it’s probably time to explore other options.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Even though your partner is a punish, you should speak nicely to them, just in case another potential lover is listening.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 You can get away with blaming genetics for most of your failings, but your excruciating stubbornness belongs uniquely to you.

Visions Beardy from Hell

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 If every Australian worker produced the same output as you, our total GDP would be on par with that of Tuvalu.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 The only way you’re going to be able to afford to live here longterm is to go back in time and get born again to different parents.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 Getting your life in order is all well and good, until you wind up bored out of your brain with nothing to do, so why bother?

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 If you break something, definitely don’t own up to it, unless there is a reasonable likelihood that evidence of your crime exists.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 How you eat over the next month or so will determine whether you live out the remainder of your life as a fatty or a hotty.

Taurus Apr 21-May 21 Start showing your friends a bit of love, because they’re the ones who’ll be there to help you when you’re in need, not your family.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 Invest heavily in wheel alignment technology, to capitalise on the miserable state of our rain-ruined roads.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 You could get away with drinking a lot more booze without doing any significant damage to yourself, so step it up a bit.

Star Signs

Trivial Trivia Solutions

Randwick Art Society Inc

12th Annual Art, Photography & Craft

1. Comedian and actor 2. Played tennis full-time 3. Nightclub bouncer 4. Ulaanbaatar (Mongolia) 5. Paul Keating (47 years, 11 months and 2 days) 6. Vanilla 7. Dynamite 8. Coriander 9. Whispering Jack (John Farnham) 10. The Story of the Kelly Gang 1

Opening Night & Awards

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