The Beast - December 2019 by The Beast

BEAST The

De cem b e r 2 01 9

A TRIBUTE TO

DANIEL HUTTON

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One Wedding and the Words We Hoped We’d Never Hear... Words Dan Hutton Photo Jeremy Greive Well, I guess this is the final instalment from me. 15 years in. The end of an era. The fight is finally over. That’s not to say The Beast is over. That’s now in James’ court. But the dynamic duo of the Hutton brothers that presided over these pages of The Beast will now be the solo swings of just one. The eldest. Probably the smartest too, dare I admit it. Certainly the one who started this whole big adventure in late 2004/early 2005 and who has run the show for the past couple of years while I’ve been fighting my lymphoma battle. I wrote in my last piece about the words ‘terminal’ and ‘palliative care’, and while my doctors didn’t say those words exactly, unfortunately that’s where I’m now at. The results from my latest trial were no good and, realistically, my options going forward with respect to a cure are very slim. I’m dying and I’m

having to get my head around that. I have to make the best decisions for my family and, based on that, I have to look at quality of life rather than quantity (though I do hope to continue this fight through to Christmas and the New Year). Shit, there’ll always be some fight there, and the hope of a miracle (anyone hiding one from me? I’ll pay top dollar if necessary). Is this hard to write? Yes and no. When the light turns off, that’s it for me. I don’t have to get up, fondle for the switch and pick up the pieces. I just shuffle off this mortal coil and leave behind some memories, a legacy (hopefully) and maybe a few lessons for my fellow man. And 180 back issues of The Beast if you’re keen to reflect on 15 years of Eastern Beaches life! Hopefully I’ve taught my two children well so far and they grow up to be fine young hu-

8 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

mans on the back of the foundations I’ve helped lay for them. Regardless, I know that their Mummy, their uncles/aunties/ cousins, their grandparents and our friends near and far will all be around to care for them and help shape them into magnificent people. So to all the loyal (or otherwise) Beast readers out there, this is goodbye. Thank you for taking the time to read my work when I’ve written, for all your contributions (letters to the editor, articles, photographs, Facebook rants, heckles in the street, death threats from private numbers, death threats when you’ve forgotten to switch your phone to ‘private number’ and, more often than not, love, encouragement and support), and thank you for spending money in the wonderful local businesses that keep the wheels of The Beast machine well-oiled and constantly moving forth. When we started this little publication, James was 25 and I was 23. We really had no idea what we were doing. We were beyond naive, but that probably worked in our favour. We were also pretty good at living rough and surviving on bugger all - as long as the beach was down the road and our laptops were still working, we were in business. A filthy mattress off the street was like heaven once you’d thrown a few semi-damp and slightly stinky towels upon it and we always managed to maintain a roof over our heads... Dan passed away on Sunday, October 27, before he got to complete his final article for The Beast. Please go to page 36 for a tribute to Dan, including a reprint of his three-part essay, ‘A Long Holiday in Hotel Chernobyl’, and the eulogy I delivered at his funeral. Thanks, James.

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w w w.t o t a l c a r e d e n t i s t r y. c o m . a u 10 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

CONTENTS

De ce mbe r 201 9 Issue 179 8 11 12 14 18 20 32

Dan's Final Word Table of Contents Pearls of Wisdom Monthly Mailbag Thumbs Local News Unreliable Guide

34 35 36 46 48 50 52

Calendar Local Tradies A Tribute to Dan Tide Chart Headnoise Enviro News Marj's Musings

Dan's final farewell, photo (and cover pic) by Jeremy Greive @jeremygreive.

56 58 60 63 64 66 66

Food Review Recipe Local Photos Album Reviews Brainteasers Beardy from Hell Trivia Solutions

Tighten your belts.

Putting Christ Back Into Christmas Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Philip Lowe Woe betide, it’s Christmas! As my loyal fans know all too well, Pearl never misses an opportunity to impart sensible advice during this holy time of consumption lunacy. So, my first piece of advice: if you are thinking of splashing out on a Lego Star Wars Advent calendar for your kiddies, you’ve missed the boat, darlings. The uniquely Australian version of Advent was heralded in by the Australian Retailers Association on October 1, punctuated by the American abominations of Halloween, Black Friday and Cyber Monday, ramping up for the Boxing Day sales and then officially ending around mid-February with the

first sightings of Easter eggs in Woolworths. Christmas Day falls somewhere in between the commercial mayhem, but since the major stores are closed the 25th doesn’t really count. The Aussie Advent regime is wholeheartedly approved by a Star Wars loving God, the Hillsong Prosperity version of the big white man (not Pearl’s Camilla Kaftan version), of course. Christmas may have morphed into 140 days of retail sales drivel, but the predictable spiel I look forward to every December is that of the outraged shock jocks, spraying venom into their microphones and blaming Muslims, Hindus, etc. for the lack of Christian Yule-

12 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

tide symbols in our shopping centres (I’m waiting for some marketing tosser to take advantage of our religious diversity with “Diwahli Deals” and “Red Hot Ramadan Savings”). Such utter nonsense. Forget the sound of carols, instead it’s the noise of the Australian Retailers Association whinging about the lack of seasonal consumer spending and admonishing the masses for not spending their tax cuts for the good of the country and hence the economy. One could be forgiven for assuming the RBA Governor, Philip Lowe, is in fact Santa Claus, taunting us with the lure of interest rates depending on whether we are naughty or nice (i.e. if we open our glomeshes to assist our supposedly dying economy). No association or geeky overpaid accountant will tell Pearl what to do with her money this Christmas, we haven’t hit fascism yet. No one can force this semi-retired accountant (who could run the economy far better and for far less than the incumbent) to spend money or run up credit to save Australia from economic ruin. The only ‘saving’ Australia needs is from being manipulated into buying more stuff, and that’s where I’m intervening. Dear readers, do it for Pearl and celebrate Christmas by not spending. If we can’t protest in the streets we can protest by withholding our cash and gaining happiness from simplicity and putting those expensive mindfulness and yoga courses into action. It’s about putting Christ back into Christmas and you know that is something our devout Christian Prime Minister would certainly approve of! P.S. Taking the piss doesn’t seem right when the very man who let Pearl gripe without fear or favour is no longer with us. Miss you, Dan. xx

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The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The People of the Eastern Suburbs FOR DAN The last time I wrote an article in this fine magazine now feels like a lifetime ago, articles as “Health Editor” in which Dan and James allowed me free reign to accuse my mates of suffering from afflictions such as crotch rot, STDs and flatulence. I would send the articles off, Dan would send back an email asking if I really wanted to write that, worried in hindsight more about a defamation claim than my quickly diminishing professional reputation, and it would appear in print attached to some horrendous photo James had selected. That was the way of things - Dan was the brains and the common sense, and James the front and the boundary pusher. It had heart, it worked, and I was part of it for many years. They were happy times. Those days now seem a million years ago, and I write this time with a sadness that is hard to put into words. Dan recently lost his brave battle with the insidious disease that is so hard to beat, and the world is much, much poorer for his absence. He had kept readers up-to-date with his journey in a series of articles that, on re-reading, epitomise everything that Daniel Hutton was. Never once did he complain. He worried more about the effect this would have on those he loved than he ever worried about himself. He spoke openly of his love for the amazing Georgie, and his beautiful children, Monty and Delilah. He wrote with wit, strength and hope. Dan always knew the power of words and he

was such a talented writer. Social media is littered with the corpses of those whose grammar and punctuation he killed dead on the spot. Dan and James have built something from nothing. This magazine is a testament to them. It has outlasted the so-called end of print media, it has supported local businesses including a young pharmacist trying to make a go of a business in the same way they were, it has provided a voice for so many who would otherwise not had an avenue. Dan was so much more than just The Beast, but he put himself into every page of every issue, especially when James was off pretending to know how to surf overseas for months on end. More than that, on a personal level it provided me with two brothers who became very dear to me, in friendships that you assume will last a lifetime. The tragedy here is that little Hutto and my friendship did last a lifetime, a lifetime that has been so cruelly cut short. Every now and then you meet people that radiate kindness. People whose first thought is not for themselves but for those around them, those they care about. I last spoke with Dan the Thursday before he passed, after he had been hospitalised again, and he was as stoic as always. He asked me, only partially joking, to help keep his brother on the straight and narrow, but suggested I might need to get him on there first. That was him, thinking of others when he had every right to be turning in on himself,

14 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

and using his sense of humour to get his point across. Sometimes life hurts us to remind us of what is important, and this one hurts. The reality of life is that we are all provided with a series of ups and downs. Some small, some large. Dan was provided with a series of huge ups in his life. Meeting Georgie, his amazing kids, his brother and best mate who has been nothing short of phenomenal through this whole process, a whole tribe of mates who care deeply about him, the ability to make anyone he met feel special. Sadly the flip side of this is that all of us are now so much poorer for his absence. He lived a full life, a happy one, and his memory lives on in those who knew him. Iain Byrne Bronte THANK YOU DAN Mate - Just wanted to drop you a line to say thanks. I am sitting here in Speedos feeling sorry for myself about something I’m now too embarrassed to mention. That’s because I’ve just read your Relapse article in this month’s edition of The Beast. My life is perfect. Thanks for letting me see that. Good luck with it all. You’re obviously a fighter so keep fighting. You should be very proud of yourself. Ged Bondi HAPPY WHAT?! Dear Ed - Don’t you just hate the expression, “Happy Holiday”? Puke. It is so pathetically secular. So cowardly PC. So, dare I say it, American. I wonder if this December we could be ever so brave and man up (or woman up) and dump the “Happy Holiday” for a good old fashioned “Merry Christmas”! Have a good one (Christmas, that is). Peter Strain Bondi HONK IF YOU LOVE YEEZUS Is it me or does everyone instinctively jump on the horn when behind the wheel nowadays? To some it seems every random or unremarkable road situation de-

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A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 15

serves a lusty blast from behind the anonymity of tinted windows. To wit the blustering motorist honking repeatedly at the red light while sideling around the queue to gain a few metres. So much angst, such little benefit. Then there’s Mr holier-than-thou thoughtfully but redundantly tooting at an errant driver, no matter how minor the transgression. After the fact and pointless. To all the honkers and tooters out there, unnecessary use of the horn is an offence so please lighten up. Or next time, take the bus. Bonzo RANDWICK HOW GOOD IS G-D In response to Christopher Bellenger's letter in the Mailbag (The Beast, October 2019), Australia is most definitely not a country where “no one expression of faith... is favoured over others by the State.” We have state-mandated holidays, as well as the entire ebb and flow of the business year,

that lines up with Christian holidays such as Easter and Christmas. The same cannot be said of holy days for those of the Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist or other faiths. Jews in particular can use all their paid time off just to cover religious holidays. Furthermore, in some states, including New South Wales, blasphemy is still a part of the Crimes Act. As Pearl's original letter hints at, Morrison's social security and welfare policies frequently defy community consultations, industry feedback and even government-commissioned studies and reports. The best explanations I have seen show a clear link between these policies and Protestant Christianity Prosperity Theology. Between Centrelink, #robodebt, the cashless welfare card scheme and everything in between, the Department of Human Services is evidently running under a theology and not a democracy - a “merger of state and church” indeed. Jake Bondi Junction

16 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editors james@thebeast.com.au dan@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au www.thebeast.com.au/ advertise Circulation 61,000 copies are delivered every month; 56,000 are placed in mailboxes and 5,000 in local shops. PEFC Certified The Beast uses paper from sustainably managed forests. Letters To The Editor Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and the suburb you live in.

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THUMBS UP NINE SOUTH To all of the wonderful people from the St Vincent’s Hospital Haematology Department, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for everything you have done for us over the last two and a half years. ST LUKE'S CLOVELLY A fantastic little Anglican church and welcoming community hub, right here in the heart of Clovelly.

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BRONTE BOARDRIDERS Dan’s paddle-out wasBondi small ad 93x62mm Now open.indd incredible, and such a beautiful way to say farewell. Thanks to all of our friends from the beach. WARM WATER With water temperatures back on the rise again, it’s time to put the steamer back on the rack and give the boardies another crack. HSC FINALE Congratulations to all the local kids who sat their final high school exams last month. Now get up to the Goldy and let loose. AMERICAN FOOTBALL A season of NFL is the perfect remedy for the NRL hangover that many of us will inevitably suffer through summer.

THUMBS DOWN GRUBBY BUGGERS If you use a public barbecue, please clean it up for the next person. We don’t want our snags tasting like fish. THE WAR ON DRUGS We’ve said it before; the current approach isn’t working. Let’s begin by allowing pill testing, treating addiction as a mental health issue and stop making crims out of kids busted with a few pingers at a fezzie. 18 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

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Local Residents Want Increased Regulation of Short-Term Rental Accommodation Words Siriol Dafydd Photo Dakota Planning A letter recently published by The Beast has struck a chord with some readers. The letter, titled Bondi’s Latest Clandestine Backpackers Hostel, was written by the self-proclaimed “very disgruntled, sleep deprived and unfortunate neighbour” of a building that had recently been converted into short-term rental flats. The letter claimed that this building is now home to “48 short-term dwellers (backpackers from South America countries like Argentina, Brazil, Colombia, Bolivia, et al.) whose aim is to party on like there’s no tomorrow, no matter what day of the week it is.” In response to this letter, we heard from others experiencing similar issues. One concerned resident on Beach Road said, “We have a building next door to us in Bondi and it’s party central Monday to Sunday from 10pm until 5am.” Another Beach Road resident told us they neighbour a building which seems to be operating as an unofficial backpackers.

“Observably, the residents stay from a few days to three months. New tenants arrive at ten in the evening, and the demographic is predominantly Brazilian, and less so British persons. The general age of the residents ranges from eighteen to twenty-five years of age,” they said. “My mother is 70-plus years of age and she is intending on moving from her home, a place she cherishes. She is emotionally and physically devastated.” A disgruntled neighbour to similar buildings in North Bondi told The Beast that owners are “basically skirting around Council and legislation to run a backpackers, but with no management or accountability, and total disregard for community.” Some of the issues reported include constant noise, screaming, partying, verbal abuse, furniture and rubbish dumped in front gardens and even one instance of people having sex on the front fence (ouch?!). But despite complaints to Waverley Council and the Police, these disturbances

20 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

have apparently continued, causing some residents to move away or sell their homes. I originally came to this country on a backpacker visa. I’ve never fornicated on a fence, but I do have more than my fair share of South American friends and have been known to shake my booty (poorly) to Reggaeton on many Saturday nights. But there’s a time and a place for this, and 5am on a Tuesday morning on a residential street is not it. This issue has nothing to do with where these backpackers come from, their age, or even the fact that they are backpackers. Like it or not, Bondi will always cater on some level to short-term dwellers. The problem here is seemingly insufficient regulation regarding the management of short-term accommodation in Bondi. After all, according to our reader’s original letter, a Bondi real estate business (who we’ve chosen not to name) legally obtained permission to convert the Ocean Road flats. ►

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We reached out to this business who told us, via their lawyers, “All tenants at the Property have been informed of the legal requirements regarding minimum noise levels after 10.00pm and that [unnamed business] contacts each of the tenants if they receive excessive complaints from their neighbours. Additionally, [the business]’s standard leases for the property contain relevant clauses in the special conditions regarding noise level obligations for all tenants at the property.” The real estate business confirmed that all renovations were carried out under the guidance of a private certifier who issued a Complying Development Certificate (CDC) to Waverley Council. Under current regulations, nearby residents do not need to be consulted when works are done under a CDC. They also added that most leases for the property in question are either 6 or 12 months. Some are less than 6 months but none are less than 3-month lease terms. Meanwhile, over at Lamrock Avenue, residents are trying to prevent similar issues occurring. In May, a Development Application (DA) was submitted by a developer to build a boarding house at 15-17 Lamrock Avenue. If the development goes ahead it will produce a 94-bedroom property right next to a 116-bedroom hostel on an otherwise residential street. According to some locals, the neighbouring hostel had a long history of problems which took consistent resident involvement to resolve and residents are concerned that having both establishments in close proximity could be a step backwards and a recipe for disaster. Local resident Haydn Keenan opposes the development. “These boarding houses are allegedly for low income occupants and in exchange for that the developer gets to provide

rooms much smaller than regulation normally requires and are potentially exempt from land tax,” he told The Beast. “However with no oversight of whether the occupants are indeed low income, locals are concerned it will become backpackers or tourist accommodation.” In this instance, local residents were notified of the proposed development, after which a petition of over 250 signatures was sent to Council along with over 80 individual objections to the DA. We reached out to Waverley Council who said the DA will be referred to the Waverley Local Planning Panel (WLPP).

"It seems that what’s legal and fair game for the property owners isn’t necessarily pleasant for residents." “The WLPP allows the public to address it directly and argue their objections/support accordingly. Residents and community members are encouraged to register to address the WLPP directly when this DA comes before the WLPP. All those who have written to Council about this DA will be notified of the hearing date once it is set,” Council explained. However, some still have concerns that, should the DA be rejected, the developer could choose to go to the NSW Land and Environment Court where only Council can appear. Here, despite the fact that Section 4.15 of the Environmental Planning and Assessment Act requires the impact on locals to be taken into account, residents worry their voices won’t be heard. There’s plenty of room for short-term and low income residents in Bondi, but in order

22 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

for us all to enjoy this wonderful suburb we need better regulations. If developers want to capitalise on Bondi’s appeal to visitors by offering short-term accommodation, they should be able to do so but it’s crucial that this is done in a way that is fair to other residents. “Predominantly, owners of development sites throughout the Waverley Local Government Area have chosen to utilise the services of a private certifier,” a Waverley Council spokesperson said. “Council believes there are many flaws in the complying development process including that private certifiers are not required to notify Council or neighbouring properties prior to issuing their decision about development consent. The process also by-passes Council’s development application assessment regime.” “Nevertheless, it is Council’s responsibility to investigate matters concerning these premises and complaints should be made to Council’s Customer Service on 9083 8000.” At the moment, it seems that what’s legal and fair game for the property owners isn’t necessarily pleasant for residents. The travel industry has changed massively in recent years and with the likes of Airbnb widely available, most residential buildings now have the potential to be used as short-term accommodation in some capacity. Perhaps it is time for more regulation, all the way from development proposals to compliance regarding ongoing management and complaint investigations, in order to catch up. Until that happens, as all parties involved are doing their due diligence on paper, frustrated neighbours to incessant partying must continue to play ping pong with police, property managers and Council, and hope that someone, somewhere, takes action on their behalf.

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Celebrate Christmas at St Luke's Clovelly's Street Party Words Siriol Dafydd Photo Dave Rogers Fancy a street party this Christmas season? The wonderful people at St Luke’s Anglican Church in Clovelly are throwing a festive shin-dig on Sunday, December 8. The event will take place on the corner of Arden and Varna Streets from 4pm. Varna Street will be closed for the occasion and there will be free inflatables, a petting zoo and face painting galore. There will also be a barbecue on site and food provided by Wholegreen Bakery. If that wasn’t enough to get you in the festive spirit, there will also be carol singing from 6pm, fabulous fun for the whole family!

St Luke’s Anglican Church has been in Clovelly in one form or another for well over a century. Now run by Lead Pastor Dave Rogers, this wonderful little local church is focused on inclusivity and creating a sense of community. Over the last few years they’ve re-built the congregation from almost nothing. Despite almost having to close at one point, they are now stronger than ever with a young crew who are very involved and doing great work in our area. “St Luke’s has been here since 1890 - Clovelly Public School met in the old church hall until 1909. A new chapter began ten years ago, when 17

24 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

adults and two kids launched a new Sunday gathering at 4pm. We’ve been growing since then, started a Friday youth group, kids clubs, and our Clomama playgroup meets on two days,” Pastor Dave told The Beast. “There’s a great community here, from young adults to families and oldies.” When he’s not busy running community initiatives, growing the church and spreading the word on Jesus, Pastor Dave loves spending time with his family in the local area. “I’m married to Mera with three little people, and lead and serve the church community at St Luke’s, Clovelly. We’ve been in Clovelly for ten years now and love it - this is the only place our kids have called home,” he said. “All our kids have splashed at Clovelly Beach and Bronte Bogey Hole, although I’m excited that we’re migrating to the waves now. You'll see me at Wholegreen Bakery and Eugene’s, and I’m partial to some Iggy’s bread and a cheeky Portuguese tart from Village.” Of course, Christmas is a great time to give back to that local community he loves so much. “Christmas is a time of good news in an anxious world. We reckon Jesus’ birth is worth celebrating, so we’re putting on a street party for our whole community. There’s live music and free activities from 4pm, then Carols from 6pm. It’s a great day to get out, meet our community, celebrate Christmas, and the kids will love it. Come join the fun!” Whether you believe in Jesus or not, this is all about celebrating community, having a good time and getting to know your neighbours, so please pop down for a sausage sizzle and a singsong at St Luke’s on Sunday, December 8.

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A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 25

Hardened criminals.

Proposed Trial to Ease Alcohol Restrictions in Local Parks Words Siriol Dafydd Photo Em Tiyaglas Waverley Council has been debating the age-old question of whether or not local residents deserve to be treated like adults. The current alcohol prohibition across public areas supports the long-standing belief (unfortunately reinforced by events such as Coogee-gate 2016) that we can’t be trusted to enjoy a few sensible drinks. While we understand the dilemma authorities face, the average local simply wants to be treated like a grown-up. The latest campaign to relax drinking regulations was lead by Joseph O’Donoghue, who ran as Keep Sydney Open’s Coogee candidate in March. Mr O’Donoghue contacted Waverley Council after witnessing a man in Bronte Park being instructed by rangers to tip the glass of wine he was enjoying alongside his wife and baby onto the grass. “The sheer presence of the rangers, and their interference to ask nearly every group if they had alcohol, injected this really unnecessary tension into the park, when it should have just been about relaxing and

enjoying the afternoon,” said Mr O’Donoghue. In fairness to rangers, they cop a lot of abuse for simply enforcing the rules. I’m sure they would much rather be sitting on the grass enjoying a glass of wine than being shouted at to ‘get a real job’. However, there’s clearly an issue here with zero tolerance policies. “We all remember experiencing these sort of rules when we were in primary school. If little Johnny accidentally kicked that ball out onto the busy road outside, the ball was confiscated - forever! Despite the fact that nearly all of us did absolutely nothing wrong, we all were forced to miss out because of one idiot’s mistake or bad behaviour. This wasn’t fair then and it certainly isn’t fair now,” said Mr O’Donoghue. The proposed action by Waverley Council is to conduct a trial allowing alcohol consumption in Bronte and Bondi Parks between 12 noon and 7pm from December 1, 2019 to March 30, 2020. This received support from Greens Councillor Elaine Keenan.

26 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

“The demographic of our area has changed dramatically with the median age of our residents being 35 and I believe they would support a short trial,” Councillor Keenan told The Beast. “It has been decades since the ban was reviewed and councillors should make evidencebased decisions.” A decision on whether or not the trial would go ahead was due to be made at Council’s November meeting. As The Beast went to print the meeting was yet to occur but, crucially, both Council and the Police Area Commander (PAC) needed to agree in order for the trial to proceed. Judging by previous meetings (where PAC representatives claimed that this would allow large groups to consume unrestricted quantities without intervention and lead to violence, sexual assault, littering and anti-social behaviour) this seemed unlikely. However, they also said, “Police currently perform the role of early intervention. We identify those groups we consider at risk and, for the most part, those people who are responsible probably avoid detection by police because they are being responsible.” So although we don’t suggest in any way that you should indulge in illegal drinking activities, you could in theory get away with it if you behave yourself and catch the fuzz in a good mood. By the time you read this article, the trial’s fate will probably have already been decided. While we go to print still hoping that we may be allowed to legally enjoy a cold one on a picnic blanket this summer, we’ll probably have to settle for a schooner at one of our beachside establishments while trying to duck out of someone else’s Instagram story instead. Cheers to bureaucracy.

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A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 27

The Wardy boys.

Putting Smiles on Sick Kids' Dials Words Siriol Dafydd Photo James Hutton It’s that time of year again Wardy is back to spread joy and help us all get in the festive spirit! Avid readers of The Beast already know all about the wonderful human that is Mal Ward. But for those of you who are not yet familiar, here’s a quick recap. Mal’s nine year-old son Johnno lost a long battle with childhood liver disease back in August 2008. Faced with a tragedy that no parent should have to endure, he decided to turn his grief into something positive. Merely months after his beloved son’s untimely passing, he turned his first Christmas without Johnno into an opportunity to bring a little bit of cheer into the lives of sick children and their families. That year, with the help of the local community, he collected 160 Christmas presents and delivered them to sick children in Sydney’s kids hospitals. And he hasn’t stopped since. This year will mark the twelfth year of the Forever

Johnno annual present drive and the pile of presents has grown steadily every year. So far, this initiative has brought over 10,000 presents to the sick kids at the Sydney Children’s Hospital at Randwick and The Children’s Hospital at Westmead and a record 1,300 presents were delivered last year alone. “The local support never ceases to amaze me, I know the nursing staff are very appreciative of the support and love being Santa to all the kids,” Mr Ward told The Beast. “It’s a traumatic time for the whole family when their child is in hospital over Christmas and buying presents for everyone takes a back seat. Because of the local community’s wonderful support, we are able to provide presents for the entire family”. If you’re keen to get involved in this year’s present drive, the official present drop-off and wrapping station will be waiting for you on Sunday, December 15 from 1.30pm to 4pm at the

28 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

Coogee Bay Hotel. If you’re strapped for time, you can drop your unwrapped gift (or gifts) at the event or wrap it yourself and drop it off. If you do the latter, just make sure you label it with the appropriate age group and gender (if applicable) on a small sticker. Alternatively, if you have all the time in the world but are really strapped for cash, why not join Wardy on the day and volunteer your present wrapping skills? This is a wonderful, feel-good community event, so pop on down, bring the kids for some free face painting, gobble down a sausage sizzle and help wrap a present or two. However much or little you have to give, your efforts will be hugely appreciated by Wardy and the staff at Sydney Children’s Hospital at Randwick and The Children’s Hospital at Westmead. Most importantly, you will be helping to make Christmas in hospital that little bit brighter and easier for countless children and their families.

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Bits and Pieces from Around the Beaches Words James Hutton Photo Annie Gordon Instagram @wavesbyannie LOCAL LADS BLITZ NEW YORK FILM FESTIVAL The boys behind Bilched, a new Australian teen comedy, recently snapped up three major awards at New York’s international Chelsea Film Festival, considered one of the best film festivals in the world. 19 year-old Waverley boy Hal Cumpston wrote, produced and starred in Bilched just months after he left school in 2017 and it was all shot in the Eastern Suburbs. Bilched won the festival’s Grand Prix for Best Feature Film and it also scooped up Best Screenplay, while Fred Du Rietz won Best Supporting Actor. “We can’t believe it,” said Hal from New York. “It’s a dream come true!” ENVIRONMENTAL SUSTAINABILITY SURVEY Waverley Council is keen to hear residents’ views on environmental sustainability issues and programs in our local area. People are invited to share their feedback in an online survey at www.taverner.com.au/waverley. The survey closes on December 1 and your input will help inform future initiatives and services.

The paddle-out.

THE BODY IN THE BOARDING HOUSE The Body in the Boarding House is Elizabeth Bankes’ first novel. She has drawn on her knowledge of teaching in Sydney to create this whodunit. Rumours run rife throughout an exclusive boys’ school in the heart of the Eastern Suburbs when popular teacher and boarding master Bentley Shute is found dead in his bed. Was it suicide, natural causes, or something more sinister? It is up to Detective Alan Stone to uncover the truth. Will the school withstand the gossip swirling around the teacher’s death? Grab it at Harry Hartog in the Junction Westfield or on Amazon. BAREFOOT BOWLING PARTY Diamond Bay Bowling Club is hosting a Christmas barefoot bowls party on December 8 from 3pm. There will be some great tunes and a barbecue for punters to enjoy. Diamond Bay Bowling Club was the pre-eminent bowling club in the Eastern Suburbs in the ‘60s and ‘70s. Age has wearied the old girl, so what better way to celebrate her inevitable death?

RESEARCH MEDAL IN ORTHOGERIATRICS Professor Jacqui Close has been awarded the 2019 Prince of Wales Hospital Foundation Research Medal, which recognises the outstanding performance of clinicians in developing high quality research projects that support the ongoing development of visionary research careers at Prince of Wales Hospital. The Award includes grant funding of $50,000 to support the research, salary and professional development of the recipient. Professor Jacqui Close is an Orthogeritian, whose research focuses on falls in people with cognitive impairment and dementia, in particular the relationship of cognitive function to postural stability, falls and fractures. FREE SOLAR POWER SESSION Find out if solar power and batteries are right for your house at a free workshop on Thursday, December 5 from 6.30-8pm at Waverley Library. To book your spot, please visit solarpowerhomes.eventbrite.com.au.

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A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 31

weekly apartment rental in Bondi is $1,250 a week, which is $65,000 a year. Face it, if you’re on a typical young person’s wage then you’re stuck at home for the foreseeable future. That’s if you’re lucky - if not you might end up on the street as one of the estimated 105,000 homeless Australians. The Lucky Country, eh?

The dream is over.

The Unreliable Guide To... Stay-at-Home Kids Words Nat Shepherd Photo Benjamin Buckler If you’re twenty-something in the Eastern Suburbs, you probably can’t afford to buy your own place unless your folks are rich and generous. Even renting may be an impossibility, which may make you feel like a failure. After all, it’s likely that your parents and grandparents own at least one property. They might blame your failure to leap onto the property ladder on your addiction to getting the latest iPhone or the cash you blow each weekend, but don’t believe the hype. Carry on spending, guys, because you’ll never be able to afford your own place unless your olds croak or you win Lotto. Let’s see why... Castles in the air In 1977, a 3-bedroom house in Bondi cost $31,000, and the average yearly wage was $9,256, or 30 per cent of the cost of a house. Manageable, right? No wonder they all believed in the quarter acre block with the Hills Hoist. Now, the average house in Bondi is $2.1 million, of which the current $84,600 average wage is a pitiful 4 per cent.

It gets worse. Grattan Institute economist Danielle Wood calculates that the government’s figures on ‘average wage’ are a rort - a far more accurate measure is the median tax filer’s income, which is just under $45,000. If you could save every cent of that by camping illegally in the forest and foraging berries it would take you 47 years to get to $2.1 million. So, kids, you won’t be buying anytime soon. Renting is un-Australian Since I arrived here, I’ve heard countless people say that it’s vital to get on the property ladder. This idea is reinforced by programs like The Block, currently one of Australia’s favourite shows. In Europe and New York, housing has long been unaffordable, so people don’t feel like a failure if they rent. This attitude should apply here, more so because local rents are some of the highest in the world. If you can afford to rent a place around here, then believe me, you are one of life’s winners. According to realestate.com.au, the average

32 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

Is property theft? Marx might have been onto something. Shelter is a basic human need, so overpriced property maintains capitalism, keeping us running in that economic wheel like good little rats. To avoid debt stress, it’s recommended we spend no more than 30 per cent of our income on housing. If you’re our median-earning Jo with his $45,000 a year, that means you have $260 a week to spend on rent. I had a look on the website flatmates.com, and in Bondi that will just about get you a bed in a shared room. Let’s hope your roomie doesn’t snore and you don’t have kids. This unaffordability is why the young sales assistant I spoke to in Westfield Bondi Junction lives in Parramatta, a commute of two hours. She travels 24 hours each week for a $20 per hour job and has $210 a week, after tax, to spend on rent. How has this become normal? Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests you give up on this whole nonsense. If the cards are stacked against you, go play a different game. Don’t cripple yourself with endless debt, remember the ‘mort’ in ‘mortgage’ comes from the Latin for ‘death’. Spend your money on living instead - travel, buy all the gadgets you’ve ever wanted, take drugs... I don’t care, whatever floats that boat. Live in the moment, because the future has already been auctioned off.

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Kids Eat Free at The Cloey Mouths to feed? Sick to death of slaving away in front of a hot stove? Well, you’ll be happy to hear that kids eat free every Monday from 5-6pm at the Clovelly Hotel and the food is bloody delicious! For more information and other specials, visit www.clovellyhotel.com.au.

Another Year Winds Up Hasn’t 2019 just flown by?! Randwick Council will herald in the New Year with a family friendly fireworks display at Coogee commencing at 9pm, and for the best views of the city fireworks, Waverley’s Dudley Page Reserve is the place to be. Happy New Year!

Sunshades Eyewear Sale There’s a huge sunglasses and optical warehouse sale in Alexandria this coming weekend, with a huge range of brands on offer including Gucci, Saint Laurent, Karen Walker, Le Specs and many more. Visit 110 McEvoy Street, Alexandria on December 6-7 to check it out.

Trip of Compassion Mind Medicine Australia are putting on a special screening of the groundbreaking film Trip of Compassion this evening from 6pm at Palace Chauvel Cinema, 249 Oxford Street, Paddington. For more details and to book, please visit mindmedicineaustralia.org/events.

Freshly Cooked Chrissy Hams Nothing pleases the senses like the delicious smoky scent of freshly cooked ham wafting onto Macpherson Street from Lucas Meats. Cooked fresh on the premises daily, Christmas wouldn’t be the same without one. Please call 9369 3867 to place your order.

My Leonard Cohen Stewart D’Arrietta and his six-piece band will be performing uplifting interpretations of Leonard Cohen’s powerful works, framed by a personal narrative, this evening from 7.30pm at Bondi Pavilion Theatre. For tickets and more information, visit oztix.com.au.

Maloneys Home Delivery Too lazy to do your grocery shopping? Maloneys offers a complete home delivery service, so there’s no excuse for living on Domino’s and Deliveroo. Get your order in by 7pm and it’ll be delivered fresh to your door the next day. Please visit www.maloneysgrocer.com.au.

Randwick Council Meeting All residents are welcome to attend the Ordinary Council Meeting from 6-9pm this evening at the Council Chambers on the 1st floor of Randwick Town Hall, Randwick. The agenda for each meeting is available on Council’s website at www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

Waverley Carols Carols by the Sea is on this afternoon from 4-8pm at Bondi Park, Bondi Beach. Get into the Christmas spirit and sing your little lungs out at Waverley Council’s family friendly Christmas celebration. For more information, please visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au.

Help the Homeless Every Christmas, Dave and the kind-hearted crew at Coogee’s Courtyard Cafe ask their loyal customers to donate wrapped gifts for Sydney’s homeless people of all ages. Gifts of all shapes and sizes are welcome and you can drop them off at the cafe until December 13.

The Lyin' Queen Trevor Ashley’s hilarious new show The Lyin’ Queen is playing at Darlinghurst Theatre Co. Eternity Playhouse from December 10-21. Expect ridiculous puppets, song parodies and more out-of-date politicians than a Liberal Party fundraiser. Visit www.darlinghursttheatre.com.

Learn Something New Based in the Eastern Suburbs, City East Community College offers a huge range of courses for people wishing to learn a new skill or try something different. For the course list and more information, please visit cec.edu.au and use discount code 'BEAST' for 10% off.

Sixers v Scorchers Get down to the Sydney Cricket Ground this evening from 7.10pm to watch the Sydney Sixers take on the Perth Scorchers in an epic Big Bash encounter. Summer cricket at the SCG is one of life’s great pleasures. Get your tickets at sydneycricketground.com.au.

Santa by the Surf Santa by the Surf is the fun, family and pet-friendly way to get your Christmas photos this year. Local families are invited to come and meet the big guy in red at Bronte Surf Club this morning from 8am-12pm. To book your spot, please visit www.santabythesurf.com.

Join Randwick Bushcare Keen to do something positive for your local environment? You should join a bushcare group. There’s a group for Malabar Beach, McIver’s Ladies Pool, Maroubra Dunes, the Prince Henry Centre and Gordons Bay Reserve. For meeting times, visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

Join Waverley Bushcare Join like-minded locals and help make a difference to one of Waverley’s special green spaces. You’ll learn about native plants and wildlife and enjoy the benefits of time spent in nature. No experience is necessary. For information, visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au.

Christmas Day Today is the day to get woken up ridiculously early by overexcited children, open a whole heap of unnecessary presents and have a boozy lunch with family who you’ll try your best to avoid for the rest of the year. A very merry Christmas to all of you, from The Beast!

Boxing Day If the weather is warm, the beach is definitely the best place to be today, but if you own a boat (or happen to know someone who does) there’s always plenty of fun to be had on the harbour watching the start of the Sydney to Hobart yacht race.

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Bondi to Bronte Swim The annual Macquarie Bondi to Bronte Ocean Swim is on today. It truly is an iconic event, and something we definitely recommend doing, even if you only do it once. All funds raised go to the Kids’ Cancer Project. For more information, please visit www.bonditobronte.com.au.

Crash Test Drama Finals This is theatre on the fly! Actors arrive at 5.30pm for an audition so writers and directors can cast their short plays. Teams have an hour to prepare before performing with scripts in hand to a live audience. See the season’s best plays from 7.30pm at Darlo Drama, Darlinghurst.

Coogee Family Fun Day Coogee Family Fun Day is back for its 25th year, celebrating the start of summer with live entertainment, carnival rides, artisan craft stalls and an array of culinary delights. It’s on at Goldstein Reserve, Coogee Beach from 9am to 6pm. Visit www.coogeebeach.net.au.

St Luke's Street Party St Luke’s Anglican Church in Clovelly is throwing a festive shin-dig today from 4pm. This is all about celebrating community, having a good time and getting to know your neighbours, so please pop down to Varna Street for a sausage sizzle and a sing-song.

Karmme Clovelly Pop-Up Shop Shop local this festive season at Karmme’s pop-up shop from today until December 15 on the corner of Clovelly Road and Arden Street, Clovelly. Karmme’s classic, quality leather accessories are proudly designed and made right here in Sydney. Visit www.karmme.com.au.

Learn French Cooking Learn to cook French classical dishes at Williams-Sonoma in the Junction. Master your Christmas entertaining with Salmon-en-croûte, two canapés and Christmas fruit tarts. There’s a class today from 2-5pm and also on December 7. Visit www.frenchfoodcoach.com.au.

Chrissy Pressies for Sick Kids Help Mal Ward put a smile on a sick kid’s face this Christmas by donating a present to his Christmas Presents for Sick Kids campaign. The official present drop-off and wrapping station will be waiting for you from 1.30-4pm this afternoon at the Coogee Bay Hotel.

Christmas Actually Led by Queensland’s first lady of song, Naomi Price, Christmas Actually is a frivolous and nostalgic rebirth of the world’s most loved Christmas soundtrack from Love Actually. It’s on at Sydney Opera House from December 18-21. Visit www.sydneyoperahouse.com.

Bottomless Lunch Osteria Coogee are putting on a bottomless lunch with unlimited carafes of Riot Wine Co. wine and a monthly rotating five-dish set menu, every Saturday and Sunday from 12-3pm. It’s only $90 per person and bookings are essential. Please visit www.osteriacoogee.com.

Coogee Carols Get down to Coogee Beach this evening from 6.30-8.30pm and sing your little heart out. Randwick Council puts on a bloody fantastic event that the whole family can enjoy and there’s no better way to get into the Christmas spirit. Please visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

Food Addicts Meetings This morning, Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) is hosting one of its twice-weekly meetings, which are held every Wednesday at 7pm and Friday at 10am at Salvation Army Hall, 100 Boyce Road, Maroubra. Please call 1800 717 446 or visit www.foodaddicts.org.

Big Bash League Blockbuster Get down to the SCG this evening from 7.10pm to watch the Sydney Sixers take on the Sydney Thunder in a Big Bash blockbuster. As people's attention spans have gotten shorter, cricket has adapted better than any other sport. Get your tickets at sydneycricketground.com.au.

Bondi Sunday Markets Every Sunday from 9am to 4pm at Bondi Beach Public School you’ll find clothing from up-and-coming designers, handmade jewellery, exotic imports, retro-chic furniture, vinyl records, homewares, one-off vintage pieces and more. Visit www.bondimarkets.com.au.

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A TRIBUTE TO

DANIEL HUTTON

Words James Hutton Picture Georgie Gavaghan

Not long after the November edition of The Beast went to print we received the news that Dan’s treatment wasn’t working. He passed away peacefully on the morning of Sunday, October 27. It’s been over a year since Dan wrote his three-part essay titled ‘A Long Holiday in Hotel Chernobyl’ in the July, August and September 2018 editions of The Beast. We’ve republished them here. We’ve also published the eulogy I read at Dan’s funeral on Friday, November 1, to give an insight into his life and to shed a bit more light on what he has been through. Dan also wrote an article last month titled ‘Relapse’ which can be found on our website. So many people have asked how they can help. We would love everyone to get behind a charity called Dreams2Live4. These guys were instrumental in making Dan and Georgie’s wedding happen and the work they do is incredible. For more information and to donate, visit www.dreams2live4.com.au. Giving blood and getting on the Australian Bone Marrow Donor Registry is also crucial. We lost count of the number of blood products Dan required during his time in hospital. You can find more information at www.donateblood.com.au. If anyone happens to receive a bad diagnosis down the track and wants to chat, I’m always available. I’m no expert but we’ve experienced a lot, so don’t hesitate to get in touch. I’ll leave you with a poem that Dan wrote for Georgie during one of his many nights in hospital. I think it sums up the attitude of this beautiful man.

Lucky - a poem for Georgie. Despite everything. I think I’m lucky. Lucky to have a loving family. Lucky to have wonderful friends. Lucky to have been presented with some amazing opportunities through my 30-odd years. Lucky to live in a safe, beautiful, generally caring (it could certainly be kinder and more caring at times, of course) country. Lucky to have access to largely free healthcare. Lucky to live within walking distance of my child’s school and the hospital in which I regularly receive treatment. Lucky to still be alive, two years after a diagnosis that in another place or another time could have killed me in weeks. Lucky to have a specialist who wants me to survive, wants to see me cured, wants to give me my life back and is doing everything in his power to make that happen. Lucky to have wonderful nurses and junior doctors who take care of me and keep my spirits up when times are tough. Lucky to have a wife and kids who love me unconditionally. Lucky to have lived at this time and in this place. Despite everything. I think I’m lucky.

36 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

Dan waking up from his median sternotomy at St Vincent's Private.

It’s Not A Tumour! Oh, Wait... Yes It Is Words Dan Hutton Pictures James Hutton I’ve been planning on writing this article for a while now but I’ve been having trouble putting the words together. I still don’t really know where to start or how to conclude this piece. Fitting the best part of a year of relative hell into The Beast’s word count is also a dilemma, so this piece will span multiple editions. Let’s just begin by saying that the last ten months or so have been anything but normal. In mid-2017 I started getting some pain in my neck and shoulders that referred around to my chest. The chest pain led to some trouble getting a ‘full’ breath (dyspnea), and I was waking regularly in the middle of the night saturated in sweat (night sweats). The first instance of this occurred in late April. I went to the physio regarding the neck, shoulder and chest pain (I’m a regular trapezius pain sufferer, thanks to 13 years hunched over a laptop editing The Beast, so this was nothing out of the ordinary), and the symptoms

subsided in a couple of days, before I felt it necessary to visit my GP. I simply put it down to some sort of mystery virus. A month later I ran the SMH Half Marathon and don’t recall noticing any problems with my breathing or unexpected pain. I knocked it over relatively easily given that I’d only done a handful of training runs in the three or four weeks leading up to the event, and left my running companion, a ‘healthy’ fellow named Grug, more than half an hour in my wake. Some time in June the same symptoms I’d experienced in April arose again but dissipated before I felt the need to see a doctor. At this point I declared to my missus that if it came back again I’d be straight in for blood tests and a chest X-ray. Sure enough, in mid to late July the symptoms returned. At this stage I still expected it to be a virus. My blood tests were relatively normal, but a white blur on my chest x-ray meant that I’d need to get an MRI scan. The doctor assured me that the

38 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

blur may just be the remnants of a virus, but he was keen to rule out anything more serious. On July 26, while on set shooting the immensely talented Vera Blue for The Beast’s September cover, I received a phone call from my GP. I could tell from the tone of his voice that it was serious; he wanted to see me that afternoon. I hung up and went back to the shoot, pretending nothing had happened, trying to put what I knew I was about to hear to the back of my mind. When I finally got to the GP’s office in Bronte later that afternoon, the expression on his face was grave. He sat me down and confirmed that I had a large unidentified mass on my anterior mediastinum (the area of the chest that separates the lungs) and that I’d need to see an oncologist, ASAP. Harder than hearing this news was conveying it on to my beautiful partner, Georgie. With two young children, this was a battle that we were going to have to fight together. Thankfully Georgie’s father and both her siblings are doctors, so as soon as I had finished my call with her I was updating them on my results and seeking their opinion. Within 24 hours Georgie’s father, Terry, had arranged for me to see a thoracic medicine professor at St Vincent’s Private Hospital, who immediately arranged a CT-guided needle biopsy to attempt to diagnose the mediastinal mass that was causing me grief. I was advised then and there that there was a strong possibility I’d need a median sternotomy (essentially the process involved in heart transplants and serious cardiac surgery - cutting through the sternum, opening up the chest cavity, etc.) to remove the mass. I should probably have figured it sooner, but this is when I realised I was in some serious shit. The biopsy proved inconclusive and I was soon booked in to see a cardiothoracic surgeon by the name of Philip Spratt. ►

Dan examining his impressive zipper, and (inset) what a tumour looks like. As it turns out, Associate Professor Spratt is probably the most accomplished surgeon in his field in the country, and was by Dr Victor Chang’s side when he successfully completed Australia’s first heart transplant some 30-plus years ago. I tried to convince myself that removing a tumourous lump from my chest would be child’s play for a bloke of his calibre. A week later I was due to front for surgery, but two days out from the big day a gastro bug ripped through my family and I was forced to postpone it by a week. On August 15, 2017 I checked into Vinnies Private and tried to prepare myself psychologically for what at the time was without doubt the scariest 48 hours or so of my life. While I was extremely nervous about the procedure (my first operation ever), I was keen to get the mass removed from my chest and hoped that it would prove to be relatively innocuous. While I can’t recall the surgery (thank Christ!), it all went well and Dr Spratt was able to remove most of the offending mass (about 97%, I was told), as well as some lung tissue and pericardium (the membrane enclosing the heart) that the mass was intruding upon (an 18cm x 11cm

x 7cm lump in total), before sewing me back up and sticky taping me together. The reason the entire mass was not removed was because a sample taken early in the procedure and sent off for testing returned with a diagnosis of lymphoma, which meant I was going to require further treatment anyway to completely rid myself of cancerous cells. As such, Dr Spratt decided to save the scalpel in some of the trickier sections of the excision so as to avoid causing any nerve or arterial damage. I spent a week in Vinnies Private recovering from the surgery, sharing a room with a lovely butcher from Dulwich Hill named Bob, who had undergone a multiple bypass. Never have I feared coughing, sneezing - or even laughing - as much as I did during that week and the month that followed. Thankfully the morphine and endone kept the pain to a manageable level early on, and I quickly learnt techniques to stave off a potential sneeze when I could feel one brewing. While I was still in hospital recovering, I was visited on numerous occasions by medical personnel who informed me that the tumour was a Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (the ‘good one’ to

get, or so they say), but when the haematologist came to see me for the first time he assured me that, unfortunately, this was not the case, and what I was dealing with was a T-cell lymphoblastic lymphoma (one of the ‘shit ones’) and that treatment of this particular disease would be long, hard, and potentially lethal, but it was curable nonetheless. I took this as good news. I’m not sure that all around me shared my positivity, but they put on brave faces regardless. I needed a few more tests to see how far the lymphoma had spread and whether or not it was in my bone marrow or central nervous system before beginning chemotherapy. Thankfully, my bone marrow biopsy was clear of disease, as was my spinal fluid, but a PET scan showed that the lymphoma was active in a number of regions throughout my body - in my groin, through my midsection and even up into my neck. An intensive French trial chemotherapy protocol, very similar to paediatric leukaemia regimens, was agreed upon as the best way to stave off this bastard cancer for good. The whole process, I was told, would take nearly three years. I had less than a month to recover from the sternotomy before I’d be back in hospital to begin chemotherapy on September 16. I was scared beyond belief, but somehow convinced myself that all would be okay and that I would be among the 30-70 per cent of sufferers (depending on the presence of a particular gene) who made it through to the three-year survival mark, whereby if disease free I would be considered cured. While the surgery to remove my tumour was quite an ordeal, it was a drop in the ocean compared to what still lay ahead of me. This is part one of a short essay titled ‘A Long Holiday in Hotel Chernobyl’. Tune in next month for part two of what will most likely be a three-part series.

A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 39

Hello darkness, my old friend...

Welcome to Hotel Chernobyl Words Dan Hutton Pictures James Hutton When I first looked at my chemo protocol I thought there must’ve been an error in the printout. The chemotherapy I‘d heard about in the past lasted about six cycles, with a cycle consisting of a dose of chemo on the first day and then a few weeks of recovery in between each dose. What I was confronted with was far more substantial. I had been told that given my relatively youthful age the best course of action for my particular form of lymphoma was to undergo what is essentially a paediatric chemo regimen. Kids can tolerate greater doses of the cytotoxic drugs over longer periods than those over a certain age. At 36 and reasonably fit, the doctors believed I was just young enough and strong enough to cop it on the chin; much older and they would’ve had to have gone easier on me, but then my prognosis wouldn’t have been so positive. Rather than facing the usual several cycles of chemo, I was to start with a 30-day ‘intensive induction’, followed by six blocks of consolidation therapy, a 22day delayed intensification, then another three blocks of consoli-

dation. Each of the consolidation blocks involved two to three days of treatment and a hospital stay of five days to a week, depending on blood results. I’d get a couple of weeks off between each block, and, all going to plan, I’d then start two years of maintenance therapy - all up, nearly three years of chemotherapy. It’s worth noting here that I have two kids, one of whom turned four a fortnight before my chemotherapy began and the other who was yet to celebrate her first birthday (a milestone that I was only able to enjoy via Facetime thanks to a low white blood cell count on my behalf and a nasty little cough on hers). My mind was plagued with thoughts of my children growing up without a father, and how my partner, Georgie, would cope as a single mother (which was probably giving my parenting far too much credit, as she does the bulk of the work anyway!). That said, with less than a month to recover from my median sternotomy, I didn’t really have a hell of a lot of time to dwell on what lay before me. When I went back in to hospital my physical wounds had healed

40 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

but my mental and emotional trauma was still very much present. Everyone was telling me to stay positive, but it was impossible to hide the fact that I was shit scared. The word ‘chemotherapy’ itself is enough to send chills down one’s spine. It evokes images of hairless humans who’ve lost the colour from their skin and the life from their eyes; bags of bones attached to metal trolleys from which bulging vessels of who knows what hang menacingly. And vomiting. Lots of vomiting. My initial farewell to Georgie felt worse than a break-up. I was on the verge of tears when I got out of the car and made my way to the automatic doors at the front of the hospital. She was putting on a brave face and I was determined not to let her see me cry or witness the fear in my eyes. Stupidly I turned back around to give her a final wave goodbye and then it all suddenly hit home. I raced back to the car, collapsed into Georgie’s arms and we completely lost our collective shit. I don’t think I’ve wept so unreservedly since I was a child. My first night on Level 9 South, St Vincent’s Hospital’s haematology ward (or Hotel Chernobyl as I affectionately dubbed it), was quite a lonely one. I was the only patient in a room that would normally be filled with four sick humans, as the ward was on the verge of undergoing a major renovation and they were beginning to shift beds and their occupants down to Level 8 North, where the haematology ward would share space with the drug and alcohol ward until the renovations upstairs were complete. In a strange way the timing of my diagnosis worked in my favour as my first intensive month of chemo took place before the ward shifted. Being on death’s door with an irrational and unpredictable patient in the throes of addiction in the bed next to you is certainly not ideal, as I would find out later in my chemo journey. ►

Thankfully I didn’t spend the whole first month on my own, and was joined at various times by, among others, a salt of the earth chap from Coolamon named Jimmy who had the nurses wrapped around his little finger, a federal politician who regularly wandered the ward yarning to his ‘constituents’, and a professional Santa Claus who was trying to arrange his chemo treatments around Christmas for fear that his bushy white beard and mane would fall out and he wouldn’t be able to work. Before I could receive any chemotherapy drugs I needed to be fitted with a central line - a catheter inserted into the jugular vein and threaded down towards the heart. It was through this line that I would receive most of my chemotherapy, anti-nausea medications and any antibiotics I should need if I contracted an infection. The nurses also took blood from the line each morning. While the lumens attached to the line dangled from my neck like a misplaced earring, it wasn’t particularly uncomfortable, though it did make showering a bit of a nightmare as it had to be kept dry. Treatment started the next morning. I was loaded up with a cocktail of prednisone (a steroid), vincristine, daunorubicin, cyclophosphamide, and intrathecal methotrexate and cytarabine over the first few days. The intrathecal medications are delivered via a lumbar puncture, a not particularly pleasant process whereby they slot a fine needle in between your lower vertebra and into the spinal column, from which they remove some spinal fluid and replace it with the medications. The worst part of this is usually the injection of local anaesthetic that precedes the lumbar puncture, but on occasion they miss the gap between verterbra and hit bone, which, despite the aid of said anaesthetic, still hurts like buggery. Between days 3 and 8 I had no chemotherapy. I was just lying around waiting for the ill effects to kick in and being fed a cocktail of

other medications to prevent viral, bacterial and fungal infections, as well as indigestion, constipation and nausea. I was downing more pills on a daily basis than your average gurner would get through in a weekend at Defqon. Day 8 was my first encounter with a drug that would essentially become my arch nemesis and really define my chemotherapy experience. L-asparaginase, as it is known, is both the spawn of god and the devil in equal measure. Not only was it the most effective medication in treating my illness, it also made me feel like absolute dog shit, stripped me down to a 63-kilogram shadow of my former self and took me as close to death as I’d ever care to go. I faced eight infusions of this nasty substance in my first 30 days of treatment, and many more throughout the rest of my chemo protocol. At times I’m surprised I’m actually still here to tell the tale.

Okay, just a little pin-prick. That said, it took the best part of two weeks for the nausea to really settle in, and by the time it arrived no amount of antiemetics could keep it at bay. The best thing I could hope for each day was that the drugs would send me off to sleep and that when I woke up several hours would’ve passed and I’d be feeling slightly less unpleasant. Unfortunately, I’d usually be woken up every few hours by a nurse wanting to do my observations and I’d struggle to find slumber again until the next dose of anti-nausea medication was due. During this stage of the chemo I found that most food was unpalatable. I did manage to keep down a Vacanza pizza every

now and again, and had the occasional hankering for pork and chive dumplings, but aside from that my diet consisted mainly of bananas, Smith’s crisps and chocolate protein drinks. As if the chemotherapy and all its lovely side effects weren’t enough, about three weeks into this first month I came down with a temperature and was promptly put on a heavy dose of broad-spectrum antibiotics. With my immune system in tatters by this stage, even a minor infection could prove fatal. I don’t remember much of the week that followed. I’m still unsure if it’s a case of my brain or the chemo drugs erasing the memory of some of the more unbearable times that month. At the end of the first torturous 30-odd days of treatment I was finally discharged from hospital and had my second PET scan. My first took place after my median sternotomy operation, and it lit up like a Christmas tree. Call me humbug, but after the month of discomfort I’d endured I wasn’t feeling particularly festive while awaiting the results of scan number two. I was as anxious as heck, but somehow managed to fall asleep on the in-laws’ Darlinghurst couch and miss phone calls from the hospital, Georgie and my brother. When I returned Georgie’s call she told me that I needed to call the hospital immediately, but she gave nothing away in the tone of her voice regarding the result. I promptly dialled the number for St Vincent’s and asked to be put through to the haematology registrar. Jamie, the young registrar who was on duty at the time and one of a team of doctors who had looked after me during my month-long admission, could not contain his excitement. The scans showed a complete metabolic response. I was in remission... This is part two of a short essay titled ‘A Long Holiday in Hotel Chernobyl’. Tune in next month for the third and final part of the series.

A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 41

Dan's happy place.

Onwards and Upwards Words Dan Hutton Pictures Jeremy Greive and James Hutton Hearing the word ‘remission’ is a great thing for any cancer sufferer, but for some reason rather than bringing me an overwhelming sense of relief, it increased my fear of the other r-word all too familiar to many cancer patients – ‘relapse’. To prevent the second r-word from occurring (it’s pretty common with my particular lymphoma) I had a lot of chemotherapy still in front of me – several months of the tough stuff and then two years of comparatively mild maintenance therapy – as well as a couple of weeks of radiation on my scone (at least, so I thought).

After my first month of intensive induction chemo I was given a break of about three weeks. It was quite a strange time, as I was feeling rather awful and suffering from a bunch of side effects that I was yet to become familiar with and which were all a bit worrying. My heart rate was out of control, I couldn’t sleep as my mind constantly raced, I felt nauseous every time I ate (and even more often than that), I’d be completely out of breath walking up a small set of stairs, and my mouth was often full of ulcers and blood blisters. At one stage all of the taste buds on my

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tongue completely vanished, leaving its surface as smooth as an ice rink. As my treatment went on I realised that the majority of these side effects would dissipate over time, or come and go, and others could be sorted out with a transfusion of blood. Something normally foreign like popping into hospital to receive a bag of blood product became pretty commonplace. I tried to ween myself off as many medications as possible in the times I spent out of hospital. The antiemetic drugs were handy to break the cycle of nausea, but I didn’t want to become reliant on them. Unfortunately giving up the lorazepam, a super addictive benzodiazepine, wasn’t so easy. Without it I simply couldn’t sleep and the lack of shut-eye was hampering my recovery. I’m still actually taking it now, but I’ve cut down to half a milligram and hope to give it away altogether in the coming weeks. The seven or so months from November to May were split between hospital and home ten stays in total, nine of which lasted about five days and one longer 22-day stint in February between the sixth and seventh short stint. Each time I was in hospital I had some different chemical concoction to look forward to. Some were worse than others, but none were particularly pleasant. With the benefit of hindsight, I think the high dose methotrexate was the worst of the medications I received during this part of my treatment. They’d pump 5500mg of the stuff into me over a 24-hour period, then I’d be given folinic acid every six hours to reverse its effects until it was flushed out of my system with the help of multiple sacks of sodium bicarbonate solution. Without the folinic acid recovery, the high dose methotrexate leads to bone marrow toxicity and death, so I was always a bit on edge making sure that the nurses didn’t mess up my meds. ►

I also copped a hit of the dreaded L-asparginase during this chemo block (which I mentioned in last month’s article). I’d spend the best part of three days connected to various drips and it completely destroyed my insides. I had this on three separate occasions and it seemed to get worse each time. I was out of hospital for Christmas but back in the day after Boxing Day, and New Year’s Eve was spent curled up in my bed in St Vincent’s with my family and my brother and his girlfriend. A bunch of the chemo patients and their families and friends went up to the top floor of the hospital to watch the fireworks, but I was so nauseous I couldn’t move from my prone position. Every break from hospital was filled with blood tests, nausea and a considerable amount of anxiety. When your immune system is shot you have to be careful what you eat and who you hang around, avoid any scratches or abrasions and regularly monitor your temperature, your weight, your urine and your ‘stools’. Every ache and pain seems to be amplified as your mind wanders straight towards worst-case scenarios. By now I had not a hair on my body, bar a few sparse eyelashes and eyebrows. I looked every bit the cancer patient. Thankfully my weight was under control and after all this chemo I had another PET scan that showed I was still in remission. Better still, the radiation I thought I had to have on my brain was no longer necessary, replaced instead by a couple of extra lumbar punctures, which I was well and truly used to. As I write this I’m about eight weeks into my maintenance chemo and feeling pretty good. Life is slowly getting back to normal. I’m working again (though my output is nowhere near as high as it was before I got crook), I’ve started exercising (as my weight has blown out to about 82kg and I’m looking pretty chubby) and I’m pulling

my weight with the household chores. There are a lot of people to thank for getting me to where I am today. When I think back a year I really didn’t know if I’d still be around to write this. I still don’t know if I’ll be treading this mortal coil this time next year, but I feel a lot more confident about my chances. The doctors and nurses at St Vincent’s have been incredible, particularly my haematologist Dr John Moore, all the haematology residents and registrars (especially Georgia, Adrian and Prue), and Dr Philip Spratt, who conducted the initial surgery to remove the tumour from my chest. These guys quite literally saved my life.

Visits from Delilah. The team work of my brother James and my partner Georgie was also amazing. Together the two of them made sure that I was fed and kept company in my many hospital stays. They organised visitors when I was up for them and kept them at bay when I wasn’t. James kept the business running while I was out of action and Georgie did the same with the family side of things. I love them both unconditionally anyway, but I guess the experience somehow solidified things. My gratitude is immeasurable and it’s something I will never be able to repay. My in-laws, Terry and Trish, have also been a great help throughout this ordeal. Their

townhouse in Darlinghurst, a five-minute walk from the hospital, has become a second home to my family and I. They’ve cooked, cleaned and helped care for my children and for that I will be forever grateful. My mum has also gone above and beyond, coming up from Melbourne whenever possible to stay with my family and help out around the house. It’s always nice to have an extra set of hands when you have two young children, and they seem to love the extra attention (and presents!). This is probably a good time to also thank all my friends, clients and random acquaintances who cared enough about my battle to come and visit, call, message, or send care packages or food vouchers of some sort. Even the responses to my social media posts are much appreciated. It’s just great to know that people give a stuff about you when you’re going through a rough trot. The final thankyou, and I’m sure there are many that I have forgotten, goes to my landlords and neighbours, George and Chan. We’d only first met a month or two before I was diagnosed but they welcomed us into their neighbourhood with open arms - collecting mail, mowing lawns, putting bins out, entertaining the kids and feeding us all sorts of delicious fare. It’s great to know that there are humans like these in the world. To wrap this up, I’m currently doing really well and feeling better than I had hoped. This is the last you’ll hear from me about my medical dramas and from here on in I’ll get back to writing about things of greater interest to The Beast readers, the important things like dog poo droppers, parking rangers, council rates, westie blow-ins, traffic, inconsiderate neighbours and crazy real estate prices. Onwards and upwards, as they say. This is part three of a short essay titled ‘A Long Holiday in Hotel Chernobyl’.

A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 43

“F*ck it, Let’s just have as much fun as we can.”.

Farewell, my Beautiful Brother Eulogy James Hutton Picture Andrew Goldie Thanks everyone for being here today, and for all your love and support over the last two and a half years. All the Gavaghans, Mum and Dad and their partners, my girlfriend Melissa. To Dave from St Luke’s for helping to make this happen at such short notice, Jez for the slideshow and Georgie and her reliable team of resourceful friends for organising the whole day. And of course the wonderful doctors and nurses of Nine South and everyone who cared for Dan, especially his haematologist, Prof. John Moore, who treated Dan like a son. It’s been a hard time. We’ve had a while to prepare for this but it still doesn’t make it any easier. Dan was my little brother and my best friend. He was born in Newmarket, Ontario, in Canada on May 15, 1981, when I was three. We grew up together in Leeton, a quiet little country town that hasn’t really changed much. It was a simple childhood, a happy time. There were always heaps of friends around at our place, so much sport, our street cricket matches were epic, yabbying and fishing in the irrigation channels, swimming in the local pool and floating down the Murrumbidgee River, picking asparagus in summer, riding our bikes everywhere and going for bushwalks and catching frogs

and lizards with Mum and Dad - our house was full of them. We ate all our meals together with no TV and we never really worried about anything, because there was nothing to worry about. Dan was good at everything. He swam like a little fish and he was an amazing soccer player, he was nice to everyone, he was just so perfect in every way. He wasn’t very big but he had a huge heart. He was always inclusive and made everyone feel welcome. I went away to boarding school in year ten and I think that gave Dan some space to be himself and grow a bit more. I probably wasn’t a good brother at that point, I was a bit jealous of him I think. I can’t remember much about our friendship during those years but I do remember really missing Dan during my gap year and also when he went away for his. After that we got to spend some time living on campus together at Johns College in Canberra, playing sport together and being around each other again was really good. It was fun having my little brother back and that special bond we’d had as kids grew stronger. When we eventually started working on The Beast together it was just awesome right from the start. We lived together in Coogee and Clovelly and became really close during those years.

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It was hard work getting the magazine going, we shared just about everything and we lived like crap but we never argued about work or money or anything like that. Neither of us bought an item of clothing for two years and our little luxury was a coffee and banana bread from the Crystal Carwash down the road. Dan slept on a mattress he found on the footpath and each month we used to make a couch and coffee table out of boxes of Beasts, which would slowly disappear as we delivered them. We had no car and I still remember us pushing a shopping trolley full of magazines down Dolphin Street. But they were good times. We built a successful business together and we met so many awesome people. It was hard work but it was fun and exciting. Then Dan met Georgie, the love of his life, and he just got better and better. I need to talk a bit about our time in hospital, because I want people to know how brave Dan was through all of this. A lot of people have asked me why he got sick, how he knew, what it was... these kinds of things. Dan ran the half marathon on May 21, 2017. He was a bit short of breath and his back was sore so, following his father-in-law’s advice, he had a chest x-ray and it showed a significant mass in his mediastinum, which is the area between your lungs and heart. On August 17 Dan had surgery to remove an 18cm tumor. It took them a further three weeks to even work out what it was. T cell acute lymphoblastic lymphoma. A super rare non-Hodgkin lymphoma that affects the immature T cells, or lymphoblasts. It’s almost unheard of in adults and no one really knows what causes it. It’s also very difficult to cure. The treatment protocol was brutal. No one should ever have to go through what Hutto did. I remember the day we received the schedule, we thought they’d made a mistake. Over the next eight months Dan would have to spend around 100 nights in hospital, followed by two years of maintenance chemotherapy. We had no idea what to expect. ►

At one stage during that first month he shed 20 kilos in just a few weeks. But he didn’t complain. I don’t remember ever hearing him complain to be honest, he just did what needed to be done and he never considered stopping the treatment. He blew us all away with his positive attitude and the way he handled things. As long as there was a chance he’d get better he’d just focus on that outcome and we’d worry about the little things we had some control over, like keeping his room clean so he wouldn’t get infections when he had no immune system, getting enough calories and keeping up his fluids, that sort of thing. We’d do laps of the ward to keep him moving (he used to push me around in a wheelchair sometimes), we’d have weigh-ins to check Dan’s progress, we did the SMH quick crossword every day to keep his mind sharp (which soon became the entire puzzles page including the cryptic), we’d draw silly pictures on the whiteboard in his room (occasionally a mystery dick would appear and we’d blame one of the nurses), we’d build ornate sculptures with apples and bananas and all the Nutri-Grain packets and protein drinks he couldn’t stomach when he was nauseous from the drugs. There were always plenty of visitors, that really made the days go faster. I think the nurses and doctors, and all the other wonderful people who worked at St Vincent’s, liked being in our room and we made it as enjoyable as it could possibly be. We had a guitar in there and we’d sing a lot. One of Dan’s nurses, a lovely Nepalese guy called Bikram, sat down with the guitar one night and sang a traditional Nepalese song for us, that was a special moment. There were people from about fifty countries working in that place, it was like the whole world was trying to save him. We talked a lot of politics too, how we are so lucky to live in a country where you’re looked after when you’re sick. I think we shifted a little further to the left with every infusion. We became close with many of the other patients and their families, we met

some amazing people who we’ll never forget, and you can get to know people pretty fast in that place. We also lost close friends, they were hard days. Sometimes when Dan was neutropenic and the kids were crook it meant they couldn’t come in with Georgie to see him. That was probably the hardest, he missed Monty and Delilah like crazy. But throughout it all we made sure we celebrated little victories and stayed focussed on getting cured. Dan fought on and we kept avoiding the meeting we’d heard of other people having, the one where they tell you that there’s nothing else they can do. We eventually had that meeting. We’d managed to avoid it for so long that maybe we’d convinced ourselves it just wouldn’t happen, but the odds had been against us for a long time. That was a hard day too. It was only two weeks ago. The very next morning Dan said, “F*ck it, let’s just have as much fun as we can.” We didn’t really talk about death at all, but one night towards the end I asked him what he thought would happen to his soul. “It will live on, through all of you guys,” he said, quite casually. I don’t think Dan was ever afraid to die. He definitely didn’t want to though. Dan passed away peacefully last Sunday morning, he wasn’t in pain and he wasn’t stressed or anxious. He’d had a great day, plenty of time with family and friends, we did the Good Weekend quiz and the crossword, his mind was still sharp, but he was tired. That afternoon, a few hundred of his friends had gathered in Bronte Park in a show of solidarity. A lot of things happened that night. At about 4am I was woken by this incredible silence, I looked over at him, so peaceful and still. He looked like an angel, lying there with a satisfied smile, his hands on his chest. It was over. I’m going to miss so many things about Dan. Someone to talk to about anything, no matter what time it is, he was such a good listener; his wisdom, his perfect judgment saved me from doing so many stupid things; his ideas, he was so imaginative and

creative and always thinking of cool, fun things to do; singing together, surfing together, wasting time in cafes drinking coffees and doing crosswords together, all these things; having someone who cared about me and who I could always rely on for anything; having someone who knew me better than anyone in this world, even better than I know myself. Dan married Georgie, the love of his life, on Sunday, October 13. It was absolutely beautiful. We held an intimate ceremony in the Botanic Gardens and all had lunch together. The kids were there, it was amazing. We planned to have a big celebration with all of their friends when he was better. Dan was a family man, nothing was more important to him. He didn’t really care about material things or status or any of that nonsense, he just wanted to be with his family and to see them happy. He didn’t look for ways to get out of the house, he was at his happiest with Georgie and Monty and Delilah. “Georgie” was the last word that passed his lips. It was the final chapter of his evolution and it was so satisfying to see my little brother become this incredible loving family man. So what happens now? What would Dan want us to do now? We need to remember all the awesome things that Dan brought into our lives and we need to be there for Georgie and the kids. It’s going to be hard but he wouldn’t want us to be sad forever. I can’t imagine what life would have been like without him, we were so different but we were such a formidable team. I still can’t imagine what it’s going to be like without him, but I’m thankful for the time we had. I’m going to finish with a quote from Dan. “Enjoy your good health while you have it, spend time with your kids, put your f*cking phone down, get outside, do something that scares the shit out of you every now and then, tell your friends and family you love them, travel (even if it’s just to Lakemba for some manoush), learn new things, and be nice/kind to people (even the dickheads).” I love you brother, wherever you are. I’m going to miss you so much.

A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 45

December 2019 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Photo Tim Bowman Instagram @surfable_ Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

30 0520 0.60 1149 1.71 1833 0.43

31 0035 0602 1227 1913

1.27 0.65 1.62 0.48

2 0114 0634 1302 2000

1.22 0.70 1.59 0.51

3 0206 0727 1350 2050

1.20 0.75 1.50 0.55

4 0302 0828 1445 2142

1.21 0.78 1.43 0.56

5 0400 0936 1547 2231

1.25 0.79 1.38 0.55

9 0039 0706 1331 1921

0.49 1.58 0.54 1.37

10 0115 0745 1415 2005

0.47 1.67 0.46 1.37

11 0152 0821 1456 2047

0.46 1.75 0.39 1.38

12 0230 0900 1537 2131

0.46 1.82 0.33 1.38

16 0530 0.53 1200 1.85 1846 0.31

17 0052 0626 1252 1941

1.33 0.57 1.78 0.34

18 0151 0727 1348 2038

1.34 0.60 1.70 0.36

19 0254 0834 1450 2134

1.37 0.62 1.61 0.38

23 0014 0645 1317 1910

24 0101 0735 1414 2005

0.42 1.80 0.35 1.39

25 0148 0822 1503 2056

0.43 1.86 0.30 1.37

26 0232 0907 1550 2144

0.46 1.89 0.28 1.36

0.41 1.72 0.42 1.41

Logging on.

Friday

Saturday

1 0024 0547 1218 1911

1.26 0.64 1.69 0.45

7 0544 1.40 1149 0.70 1745 1.35

8 0000 0628 1244 1836

0.51 1.49 0.62 1.36

15 0440 1111 1755 2358

0.50 1.89 0.28 1.34

• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter •

Sunday

6 0456 1045 1649 2318

1.32 0.76 1.35 0.53

•

13 0310 0942 1620 2217

0.46 1.87 0.29 1.37

14 0353 1025 1706 2306

0.48 1.89 0.28 1.36

•

20 0357 0948 1558 2230

1.43 0.62 1.53 0.39

21 0457 1102 1705 2323

1.52 0.58 1.48 0.40

•

27 0315 0950 1633 2229

0.48 1.88 0.29 1.34

28 0358 1031 1714 2311

0.52 1.84 0.33 1.31

22 0552 1.62 1214 0.51 1810 1.44 29 0439 1111 1754 2353

0.56 1.78 0.38 1.29

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A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 47

Russell the love muscle.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie Words and Photo Jeremy Ireland I have a confession to make. Since recently becoming a dog owner I’ve slowly developed an interest in animal behaviour. In particular, what it is about my dog that makes him do what he does. Like people, each dog has their own thing going on - their own personality, temperament, habits and, of course, their own environment, all of which help shape their nature and, ultimately, their behaviour. There is one thing, however, that my dog does that, in all honesty, makes me slightly envious: he’s an amazing sleeper. He can sleep for 14-plus hours a day. He can sleep with the TV on, the vacuum cleaner going, even through the noise of the construction site across the road. In fact, I’m certain that if a bomb went off he’d open one lazy eye and then fall back to sleep. Jealousy aside, sleep is the one thing we all need and if you don’t get enough it can wreak all sorts of havoc on your health and mental state and can ultimately lead you down the path of insomnia. But what exactly is insomnia? Well, you may consider it to be the inability to go to sleep. In

some respects you’d be right, but it’s more complicated than that. A clinical description would state that insomnia is a chronic condition marked by difficulties initiating or maintaining sleep, lasting for a period of at least one month. It’s fair to say that everyone has some trouble getting to and/or staying asleep from time to time but the clincher is that it does have to be for at least four weeks before you can say, “I’m an insomniac.” For some perspective, let’s try an experiment. Stay up for as long as you can. If you make 24 hours you’re doing well, if you last two days that’s exceptional. The point is the body needs sleep to stay alive. In extreme cases a total lack of sleep can lead to death. It sounds dramatic but the reality is it’s impossible to voluntarily keep yourself awake. So, what is it about my dog that allows him to sleep as much as he does? For starters he doesn’t have a phone. He’s a dog so he can’t use one, but you get my point - he has no distractions. When he’s tired he goes to sleep then, when he’s had enough, he wakes up. It’s pretty

48 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

easy when life is simple and all you have to do is eat, scratch and chew the odd bone, but what my dog does demonstrate is his love for routine. He does the same thing day in, day out. Like clockwork, he sleeps and wakes at the same time every day. “But I’m no dog, I’m human,” you say, and that’s a fair call, but we both need our sleep and the cold reality is that we humans are not getting enough of it. One third of us are getting less than eight hours per night, with about 20 per cent of us getting less than six. To put another twist on the statistics, in 1942 about half the population was getting eight hours a day, today less than one third of us get that. We are sleeping less than ever and it can be linked to difficulties people are experiencing in everyday life. If you think you’re in the percentile of those not getting enough sleep it may be time to look at your sleep hygiene. Regardless of what you think, adults need 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep each day. To get there, consider these tips. Go to bed 8½ hours before you need to get up, i.e. if you get up at 6am, go to bed at 9.30pm (it sounds ridiculously early but you need half an hour to wind down and fall asleep, and be strict on this before your ‘second wind’ kicks in); do not bring your phone into the bedroom, read a book instead; use an old-school clock radio for your alarm, with soft music, to wake you up; avoid stimulants like caffeine and alcohol; and instead of staying up to watch some crappy dating show, record it and watch it earlier the next day instead. As for the dog, it’s only midday and he’s completely crashed out without a care in the world. Dogs aside, sleep is critical to cognitive functioning so if you feel like it’s getting away from you please seek some professional help. For further information, please contact Jeremy via bondicounsellingservices.com.

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A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 49

Reduce, reuse, recycle this Christmas.

Creating Memories, Not Garbage Words Nicola Saltman, Sustainability Engagement, Waverley Council Roll up your festive sleeves, folks, the silly season’s almost here. It’s also the time us Aussies create 30 per cent more waste than any other period. That’s a whole lot more stuff going to landfill (think packaging, wrapping, unwanted gifts and uneaten food). With plenty of time to dust off the stockings, plan for family feasts and seek out the perfect presents, we’ve got you covered with simple tips to help make it a cranking celebration - with less garbage and a happier planet. Gift wrapping Australians use more than 150,000 kilometres of wrapping paper during Christmas - enough to wrap around Earth’s equator nearly four times. More often than not, it’s plastic-coated, which sadly means it can’t be recycled. Use alternatives such as: • Recycled paper. • Fabric or tea towel. • Reusable tote bags. • A jar for small gifts. • Old calendars, magazines, newspapers.

• Don’t wrap! • Send e-cards to loved ones overseas instead. If you receive gift-wrapped presents, keep the paper and ribbon for future use to reduce waste. Food glorious food Around 90 per cent of the population throw out more than a quarter of all food from the festive season (December 1 to January 1). To avoid food waste and reduce food going to landfill: • Meal plan to avoid waste. • Make it a plant-based feast. Satellite imagery shows 40 per cent of Earth’s land surface is now cleared for food production, 70-90 per cent of which is for meat. Google recipes for inspiration. • To store leftovers, use beeswax wraps and containers rather than clingwrap. • Short on plates and cutlery? Ask friends to BYO these items and avoid plastic disposables. Decorations Seeking alternatives for the traditional Christmas tree?

50 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

• Try a stack of books or use an existing pot plant. • Try fashioning one out of bare broken branches for that minimalist look. • Opt for a no-fuss artificial tree that you can re-use year after year. • Use or make decorations from natural, recycled or secondhand materials. There are stacks of ideas on Pinterest and YouTube. • Use solar-powered LED fairy lights to make your house twinkle without the energy load. Good gifts Aussies receive more than 20 million unwanted Christmas gifts. Make your gifts count: • Choose experiences over stuff, like cooking or art classes, music lessons, movie or theatre tickets, or a voucher to try a new skill. • Buy second-hand. Local opshops are a treasure trove! • Give equipment to fuel passions, family fun or a fitter new year. For instance, camping gear, games, bicycles and cooking utensils. • Make homemade treats such as jams and chutney. • Give a gift to grow, like seeds, herbs or a gardening set. A citrus tree is always good for fragrance and fruit to zing up meals (and cocktails). • Donate to a loved one’s chosen charity. • Support retailers in droughtaffected areas through @BuyfromtheBush on Facebook. Oh, and opt for a staycation to avoid air miles, traffic and parking hassles. Wishing you all a safe and fun festive season. For more tips and updates, sign up at secondnature@ waverley.nsw.gov.au.

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Bring back these ones.

The Wheels on the Bus... Words Dr Marjorie O'Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Verna Hills If we think about the distinguishing features of our Eastern Suburbs, beaches probably come first, then lots of schools and churches perhaps, medium density housing, fairly narrow streets and a good smattering of parks, but not too far down the list most of us would include our public buses. If we consider the things we need in order to perform our daily work, our buses would figure fairly high on most of our lists. The function that buses perform in our lives is important, but they are much more than just a means of transportation. Buses are part of our culture and what defines the nature of life in our suburbs. I often wake to their sound coming down Macpherson Street. Breakfast rituals and timed departures are scheduled to coincide with the bus timetable. For some of us the bus is a reading room, although these days it’s more often a time to catch up on emails! Buses are a big part of our lives and often a source of memories. Remember when you were very young, going somewhere special with a par-

ent or grandparent? The step was so high! Or the first time you were allowed to get the bus on your own and how tense you felt about missing your stop. Or, later in your teens, when the bus was a hot house of potential suitors. As we get older, it’s just nice to see someone you know and catch up with friends. The very presence of buses on our roads and the sound they make contributes to what is different about living here from other places, particularly overseas. Our buses are iconic. They are also generally very reliable and clean. The behaviour on them is nearly always polite. There’s the occasional grumpy driver but many more who are a lovely source of interaction. On my local bus route we have always had lovely drivers who greet us and make a real effort to assist. During the hot months, it can be a bit tortuous in the afternoons competing with the crowds descending upon the beaches, but that’s just part and parcel of living in this area. We know that our buses and their routes matter a lot to the

52 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

people in the local area, not just because they are convenient and important for our transportation needs but because most people care a lot about the environment and believe in public transport. Our roads are already clogged and if our buses fail to meet our transportation needs, frankly, no one will move anywhere during peak hours. In recent years, conservative governments have privatised bus services in other parts of Sydney and have both changed and reduced bus routes in the East. These were met by overwhelming opposition from people in the Eastern Suburbs. Indeed, the extent of community opposition caused the then NSW Liberal Berejiklian Government to promise to reintroduce the 378 Bronte bus, as well as commit to cease privatisation of public assets in NSW. Figures from the state transport agency have revealed that since the Inner West buses have been privatised the punctuality of buses has worsened. In late October this year, just a short time ago, the same Berejiklian Government announced their plan to sell off every last part of our public bus network. They also said they would build our next fleet of ferries overseas. Aside from the obvious issue of honesty, does this really matter? Does it matter who owns the buses we travel on, so long as they are reliable and cost-effective? If you are up for a bit of personal research you could have a look at the expensive disaster that is bus privatisation in the UK. If you are feeling a bit more social than that, board your next bus and say g’day to the driver. You could even close your eyes for a minute and feel the ambience, or even actually talk to someone. After all, we are getting ready for the festive season.

Our petition to save paediatric cardiac services at the Sydney Children's Hospital Randwick has now been mailed out. This is an issue that deeply concerns countless people from our community, and we are asking that you, and your friends and family take the opportunity to sign and return the petition to my office. If you would like to be involved in our local campaign, let us know.

CONTACT MARJORIE Electorate Office Details: Address: 15/53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick NSW 2031 Email: coogee@parliament.nsw.gov.au Phone: 9398 1822 Fax: 9398 1044 Authorised by Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP, 15-53-55b Frenchmans Road, Randwick NSW 2031. Paid for using parliamentary entitlements. October 2019.

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Tender octopus with sundried tomato aioli and fried capers.

Authentic Italian Made to Share Words Joel Bevilacqua Photo Parker Blain Regan Porteous boasts an impressive resume that includes Heston Blumenthal’s The Fat Duck, Gordon Ramsay’s Michelin-starred Maze, the famed Zuma and popular Sydney venues such as Toko, Riley St Garage, Tequila Mockingbird and Stanton & Co. Six months ago, the renowned chef and his partner Carolina Angelucci stepped out on their own, opening Osteria Coogee. The Italian eatery is Porteous’ first venture as a restaurateur and is inspired by his multiple trips to Italy with Carolina to visit her family. The restaurant is located close to the beach on Alfreda Street and the large open layout is understated yet slick, creating an air of sincerity and authenticity. Although he is now a restauranteur, Porteous hasn't put his knives away just yet. Working alongside head chef Stefano Gagliardi, they have created a unique menu of classic Italian dishes, but with a twist. All your Italian favourites are there, but everything is made to share.

The White Tuna Crudo swims in a sundried tomato and pancetta gel and is really punctuated by the crunchy offerings of pancetta. The Carpaccio is made with plenty of Aussie influence, the veal is cured in-house with juniper berries and rosemary and is served with anchovy foam and subtle fried capers. The Polpo (octopus, for the less cultured, including myself) comes with a sundried tomato aioli and those epic fried capers. This is Osteria’s signature dish and it’s easy to see why. The octopus is slow cooked for ten hours to ensure its tenderness. The Gnocchi arrives as dainty little clouds in a creamy truffle and porcini sauce. Cleaning this plate with some fresh Sonoma bread is strongly encouraged. The Agnello (slow cooked lamb shoulder) rests in a balsamic glaze, giving it an element of sweetness that’s balanced by a generous dollop of olive puree. Dessert is a homemade tiramisu with real mascarpone. Regardless of how full you may be feeling, please

56 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

trust me on this one and just say yes. It would come as no surprise that Osteria’s wine list is extensive and some memorable cocktails are also created behind the central island bar. I would like to see someone take a sip of the Spritz Sour - vodka, Aperol, prosecco and passionfruit - and try to restrain themselves from ordering another before their glass is empty. Other standouts include the Sgroppino Mojito with vodka and limoncello, which tastes like a well-earned holiday, and the Coco All’Ananas with coconut infused rum, lime, Tiki bitters, Coco Lopez and pineapple, which lovingly wraps its arms around you in a warm embrace. All three of these are great company and I could easily imagine myself chilling with these guys on Osteria’s balcony for hours on end. Sunday would be the best time for this as there are DJs on the decks from 3-6pm and all house cocktails are only $10. Regan and Carolina’s first venture together is definitely a winner. The food is authentic, delicious and reasonably priced, and the made to share nature of the menu, knockout cocktail list and relaxed vibe means Osteria Coogee could easily become the area’s go-to casual meeting hub. Osteria Coogee www.osteriacoogee.com Address 31 Alfreda Street, Coogee Facebook Osteria Coogee Instagram @osteriacoogee Phone 9665 6797 Open Wed-Fri 5pm-late, Fri-Sat 12pm-late, Sun 12-10pm Prices Crudo $16, Polpo $18, Gnocchi $26, Agnello $44, Spritz sour $16 Cards Master, Visa, AMEX Licensed Yes

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

Randwick News This time of year is a good time to reflect and be grateful. As tourists flock to our beaches and enjoy our coastline, it’s a reminder of how lucky we are to call this place home. I’m a long-time resident of the area – I grew up in Matraville – so I’m just as passionate about this area as you are. There’s a lot at stake at the moment and there’s a lot we need to protect. The fight to protect Yarra Bay from the Cruise Ship terminal has only just begun. I’ll be working closely with the community to oppose the proposal and protect the bay.

What's On 22 NOV STEP OUT SPEAK OUT

7.15am – 9.15am High Cross Park, Randwick Join us for this walk to raise awareness and stop violence against women.

30 NOV BIKE MAINTENANCE INTERMEDIATE WORKSHOP

1.30pm – 4.30pm Randwick Community Centre $10 – registration required.

3 DEC KOREAN MAMA’S STORYTELLING

11.30am – 12.30pm Margaret Martin Library

4 DEC NBN PUBLIC INFORMATION SESSION 6.45pm – 7.45pm Lionel Bowen Library

When I hear residents at Little Bay are worried about Meriton’s proposal for Little Bay Cove to increase heights to 22-storeys, I understand the concern. Council staff are currently reviewing the proposal and a lot more will be said on this in the coming months. But rest assured, we hear your concerns and we understand. And in Coogee we’re looking at how we can improve water quality by diverting stormwater away from the beach. We’ve conducted a number of feasibility studies and shortly we’ll begin the design for the diversion of the stormwater line from the northern part of the beach. We will keep you posted on the progress. Like I said, I love this area and I’m passionate about protecting it and supporting our community. I hope you all enjoy a happy and safe Christmas period. See you at the beach! Councillor Danny Said Mayor of Randwick

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

Randwick Council has 9,540 stormwater pipes! We’re committed to keeping them clean and need your help. Log on to our website to “adopt” a drain near you and pledge to keep it clean. Or use the online map to pinpoint your local drain and find out where it goes to. www.endbeachpollution.sydney

Get some pork on your fork.

Roasted Pork Loin with Pumpkin, Sage, Apple, Bacon and Macadamia Stuffing Words and Picture Dana Sims Insta @stone_and_twine Keep the Christmas Day kitchen mayhem to a minimum and still wow the table with this delicious roast pork loin and stuffing recipe. It’s all about injecting lots of flavour into the pork with the stuffing. Apples and sage are a good marriage and the pumpkin creates a little sweetness. Add a macadamia crunch and smoky bacon to the mix and the stuffing will develop richness as the pork roasts. Crucial to a successful outcome is tender Australian pork that’s well rested and a crunchy crackling. Be generous with the stuffing and be sure to season well. This Christmas pork recipe is simple and quick to prepare so you can focus on what’s important, the fun around the table. Have a very merry one!

Ingredients 1.8-2.0 kg pork loin Kitchen string for tying the pork 1 bunch fresh sage leaves, roughly chopped (approx. 15gm) 1 large pink lady apple, peeled and cored, cut into small cubes 1 cup pumpkin, skin and seeds removed, cut into small cubes ½ small red onion, finely diced 2 rashers smoky bacon, diced ¼ cup macadamia nuts, roughly chopped into small pieces 2 slices sourdough, crust removed, torn into small pieces 1 tablespoon olive oil Salt and freshly ground pepper Method 1. Take pork out of the fridge one hour before cooking to bring to room temperature. Preheat the oven to 220°C. 2. To make the stuffing, heat a frypan on medium heat

58 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

and add a tablespoon of olive oil, then fry the onion, apple and pumpkin for 6 minutes until it starts to soften and caramelise. 3. Add the bacon, sourdough, macadamia nuts and sage and fry for a further 4 minutes, mixing together. Remove from the heat and place in a bowl. 4. On a chopping board, score the pork skin, then place skin side down and carefully carve the pork open so it’s flat and creates a cavity for the stuffing, (you can get your butcher to do this when you buy the pork). 5. Generously spoon the stuffing onto the pork and roll tightly to close. Tie kitchen string firmly at intervals to keep the pork together while cooking. Lightly coat the skin with olive oil and generously rub salt into it. 6. Place the pork in a roasting tin on a wire rack with a splash of water in the bottom. Put it in the oven at 220°C for 10 minutes to help kick start the crackling, then reduce heat to 180°C and cook for a further 1 hour and 50 minutes or until the pork is cooked through and the crackling is crunchy. 7. Any leftover stuffing that you didn’t use can be roasted on a lined baking tray in the oven for 10 minutes before you take the pork out. 8. Remove pork from the oven and rest for 15-20 minutes. Then carve and serve and spoon on any additional stuffing. Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to here in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.

Mayor’s Message Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah!

In the next 12 months, we will continue to beautify our public places, protect our local neighbourhood centres and continue to make our suburbs liveable and walkable – all while being fiscally responsible.

We have an exciting year ahead and big plans for our future. From all of us at Waverley, I wish you and your family a safe and happy 2020. Paula Masselos, Mayor of Waverley

As the newly elected Mayor of Waverley, it has been great to see many projects progress as we work to make Waverley better for everyone, now and into the future. At time of publication, the muchanticipated Bondi Pavilion restoration was in the final stages of planning and we aim to start external works in February once DA approval is received. As part of early works, we recently retiled the Gatehouse at the rear of the Pavilion to trial the tile colour and configuration for the whole Pavilion roof. Come down to Bondi and have a look. We are also reviving the Boot Factory in Mill Hill, Bondi Junction to its former glory with an extensive restoration. The Boot Factory is such an important building in the history of our community, and we want to protect and preserve that history. I will continue to join the community to fight poor decisions by our state government including the gazettal of the planning proposal for 194 Oxford Street, Bondi Junction, and the planned privatisation of Sydney’s last three remaining State Transit-operated bus regions, which includes the eastern suburbs. Access to public transport is a fundamental right, and the people of Waverley are looking to our Council for leadership on this issue.

New Year’s Eve at Dudley Page Reserve.

Public Notice

Events

Changes to speed limits in Waverley

New Year’s Eve at Dudley Page Reserve

To achieve ‘vision zero’, with zero fatalities and minimal serious injuries, Council is reducing speed limits from 50km/hr to 40km/hr across the Waverley Local Government Area (LGA).

31 Dec 2019 – 1 Jan 2020, 6pm – 12.30am Dudley Page Reserve $0–40

For more information and to see how it may affect you visit: waverley.nsw.gov.au/ changestospeedlimit

Bring in the New Year at Dudley Page Reserve, Dover Heights! Get your tickets before they sell out at iwannaticket.com.au For more information, visit waverley.nsw.gov.au/ events

Ph: 9083 8000 | waverley.nsw.gov.au | Stay in touch: waverley.nsw.gov.au/subscribe Waverley Customer Service Centre: 55 Spring Street, Bondi Junction.

Subject Pool diamonds Location Clovelly Photographer Cassandra Nevin

Subject Sunset stroll Location Coogee Photographer Liz Lynch

Subject The old boys Location Coogee Photographer Jonah Zeiderman

Subject Over the moon Location Waverley Photographer Graeme Bogan

Subject In the spotlight Location Maroubra Photographer Simon Bridge

The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!

Subject Bubbly Location Coogee Photographer Lee Wynyard @lee3330

Subject Love is in the air Location Bondi Photographer Ingeborg van Abbema

Subject Craters Location Tamarama Photographer Walter Kennard @waltkennard

Subject A man and his dog Location South Coogee Photographer Cassandra Nevin

Subject Sculptures Location Tamarama Photographer Andrew Worssam

Please send them to photos@thebeast.com.au

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The man who brought us ‘Love & Hate’ and ‘Cold Little Heart’ - which received a solid workout in my household - is back to show he is more than just a competent songwriter, he is a goddam maestro. I don’t think it’s hyperbole to call this a timeless classic. It’s almost too perfect for my brain to handle. Instinctively I look for flaws, like an English teacher who thinks the quiet kid must have cheated because there’s no way he could have actually written this. It doesn’t have the hit that radios will love, but as a piece of work, it’s wonderful.

Kanye West JESUS IS KING Label Def Jam Recordings Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  It’s time we said goodbye to Kanye the artist, and welcomed Kanye the politician. Step 1: Get rich. Step 2: Get famous (interchangeable with Step 1). Step 3: Find Jesus. Step 4: Run for President. Am I being too cynical? Maybe. But if I’d known the road to Jesus Christ was through mountains of cash, Hennessey and scantily clad women, I would have started looking a while ago. The real giveaway is that born-again Christians are usually incredibly boring, and this isn’t boring at all; it’s actually quite good, apart from all the Jesus stuff.

Bad Dreems DOOMSDAY BALLET Label Ivy League Records Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  I don’t know if Bad Dreems are necessarily trying to do this, but they make me want to crack a stubbie, put on some thongs and hang out in a sunny backyard, with overgrown grass, a Hills Hoist, and a falling apart fence. Some people may be repelled by this image, considering it an ode to the dishevelled Aussie bogan, and they’d be too bloody right, but they’d also be wankers. If you like Paul Kelly or Children Collide, this is well worth a listen. It makes me feel at peace, like a sausage sizzle. A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 63

The Beast Supercross 1

ACROSS 1. Formal male wear personally fitted to person’s dimension (12) 8. Sport class acronym in high school (1,1) 9. Sash worn around the waist (10) 11. Brief swims; thick sauces (4) 12. Produces milk (8) 13. Infant toy figurine (4) 14. Not involving anyone else (6) 15. Spanish rice dish (6) 16. Crazy; legumes (4) 18. The night before (3) 19. Common fish and chip accompaniment in a ‘seafood basket’ (8) 20. Frantic, disorganised person (12)

DOWN 1. Blunt inconsiderateness (12) 2. Extremely clean (10) 3. One-piece garments worn over clothes (8) 4. Symbolic object (6) 5. What Annakin Skywalker didn’t like about Tatooine (4) 6. Internet address (1,1) 7. An arrangement of shapes fitting together without gaps or overlap (12) 10. Pet dinosaur’s name in The Flintstones (4) 13. Someone who lives in a world of imagination (7) 15. Completely opposite (5) 17. Radiation that causes skin burns (acronym) (1,1) 19. Baby’s bed (3)

Trivial Trivia Words Cameron Anderson Photo Jack Robinson 1. Who was the lead singer of Silverchair? 2. Which actor played Harry Potter? 3. Which Sydney Rooster won clubman of the year in 2019? 4. With a new James Bond film due for release in April 2020, how many Bond films will Daniel Craig have appeared in?

5. Which Australian male driver won the Monaco Grand Prix in 2018? 6. Which Daniel was Elton John’s song of that name about? 7. What is the (stage) name of the pornographic actress that had an affair with Donald Trump in 2006?

Colourful Coogee. 64 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

8. At the time of writing this, who is the current Minister for Education? 9. Who has won the most awards for Best Male Actor in a leading role at the Oscars? 10. Which ‘70s band named after a sex toy had hits including ‘Reelin’ in the Years’ and ‘Ricki Don’t Lose That Number’?

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Phone 9666 4577 Email info@btryan.com.au Web www.btryan.com.au A Tribute to Daniel Hutton December 2019 The Beast 65

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 Stop trying to think of a clever reply all the time and instead focus on understanding the person you are listening to.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Don’t wait for karma to do its job. Be the karma you want to see in the world, even if it means egging someone’s house.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 Love is the answer to all your problems. Anger is getting you nowhere, although it could if you didn’t look like such a fairy.

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, but if you just sit on your arse someone will pity you and give you a lift.

Visions Beardy from Hell

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 Treat yourself to a roll of the softest 3-ply toilet paper available. You haven’t been giving your bottom the respect it deserves.

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 Go for a stroll, hug a tree, pick up some dog poo and sniff it, then put it in the bin. It’s the simple things that make you feel alive.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 Before placing the vacuum cleaner on your genitals, carefully check the settings and make sure no one can see into your room.

Taurus Apr 21-May 21 Please put more thought into your Christmas present purchases this festive season. Last year’s really didn’t cut the mustard.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 If one plus one equals two, then maybe you should have a think about why you keep coming up with three as the answer.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 You are a goat, so you should behave like one. Eat whatever the f*ck you like, and climb a mountain if you feel the urge.

Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Your lack of respect for money and how difficult it can be to earn is going to come back to bite you very soon.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 Don’t waste your energy trying to prove to everyone that you’re a good person. Just be a good person and everyone will know.

Star Signs

Trivial Trivia Solutions

1. Daniel Johns 2. Daniel Radcliffe 3. Daniel Tupou 4. Five 5. Daniel Ricciardo 6. His son, Daniel 7. Stormy Daniels 8. Daniel Tehan 9. Daniel Day-Lewis 10. Steely Dan 1

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66 The Beast December 2019 A Tribute to Daniel Hutton

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MATRAVILLE CAROLS BY CANDLELIGHT Saturday 14 December | 5pm-9pm Barwon Park, Matraville

CAROLS BY THE SEA

Carols in Randwick City 2019

Saturday 7 December | 6pm-10pm Grant Reserve, Coogee

CHRISTMAS CAROLS AND STREET PARTY Sunday 8 December 4pm – Street party | 6pm – Carols St Lukes Anglican Church, corner Varna Street and Arden Street, Clovelly

SOUTH MAROUBRA CHRISTMAS PARTY Saturday 7 December | 2pm-5pm South Maroubra Village Green, corner Malabar Road and Meagher Avenue, Maroubra

COOGEE CAROLS

Sunday 22 December | 6.30pm-8.30pm Coogee Beach

Coogee Sparkles New Year’s Eve 2019 Coogee Beach, 9pm

FREE festive events in Randwick City

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au