The Beast - December 2022

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Summer Lovin'

Words James Hutton

Welcome to the December 2022 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s sun-kissed beaches of the east. Spring arrived late this year and lasted for a week, now it’s summer already!

Bronte artist Bianca Pole is the talent behind this month’s cover painting of Basil the cavoodle at Bondi. You can see more of her work at tadpolegallery.com and @tadpolegallery on Instagram.

There’s been a lot going on in local sport. After three years of intense training, Bronte’s Scott Machatsch took out the State Title in the Novice Division, and came a close second in the Nationals, in the IFBB Australia 2022 NSW and National Bodybuilding Champion ships - an incredible result for his first (and last) competition.

In rugby news, The Beast is very excited to announce that Coogee boy and former Wallaby Stephen Hoiles will be back to

coach Randwick Rugby’s first grade squad next season. If that doesn’t get you down to Coogee Oval, I don’t know what will.

And in surfing, Bronte Boardriders held their final meet for the season in early November, where Paddy Power took out the 2022 Opens Title in fine fashion, knocking off big gun Adam Perica in a nail-biting final. Adz has been one of the form surfers at Bronte for the past five years, making the victory even sweeter for the young charger. Bronte Reef merchant Mark Maidment took out the Mas ters, defeating JJ Botella on his preferred Bronte Bunker, and the Chillies - made up of Ryan ‘Whip pet’ Clark, Justin ‘World’s Keen est’ Compton, Liam ‘Itchy’ Taylor, Todd ‘Toddy Mac’ McDiarmid and Michael ‘Mouse’ Jenkinson - took out the Generations Tag-Team Challenge. Mouse surfed last in the teams event and absolutely ripped to get the underdogs across the line. Supergrom Poppy O’Reilly took out the prestigious Rookie of the Year award and was joined by Gully Stephens, Malo

Field and Angus Folsom to take out the Grom’s Tag-Team Title. Jasper Leslight beat Max Blend in the Juniors, Joe Hatton beat Liam Walsh to win Cadets, and Eddie Feletta beat Nixon Clark to take out the MicroGroms, before being joined by local billionaire Cam Clark to sing the Bronte School song, earning a standing ovation at the packed Clovelly Hotel pres entation night.

Cheers, James

The Beast

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Merry Middle-Class Christmas

In an act of charity and recon ciliation, Pearl had intended devoting her Christmas column to those who are most “in need” - people like Gina Rinehart, whose atrocities towards humankind have left her loveless in the world of sport sponsor ship, and Andrew Thorburn, whose religious persuasion along with his gig as NAB’s notoriously ambivalent CEO have rendered him unemploy able. However, befitting my COVID Ambassadorship, Pearl has opted to concentrate on the good people of the Eastern Suburbs, who in this time of inflationary pressure and rising interest rates deserve my undi vided attention and guidance. If I can prevent even one reader from turning to a life of white collar crime in order to fund a Christmas holiday in Aspen, I will be greatly satisfied that my job is done.

An ideal Christmas would be one in which people embody the spirit of the dude called Jesus. Advent would be a time for love, joy and humility rather than a retailer’s countdown of consumer frenzy. Christmas retail spending would not be

used as a gauge of a healthy economy and Christmas Day would be a day of gratitude and reflection rather than 24 hours of gift envy and FOMO, prepa rations on a perfectionist scale and mentally exhausting social expectations. Today’s inflation ary and mortgage pressures can provide us with an opportunity to rethink Christmas (particu larly in a multi-faith Australia) and reassess our lifestyles mov ing forward into 2023, and this is where Pearl is here to help.

This isn’t Pearl telling millennials to stop dining on avocado smash (but please don’t complain about the cost of living if your regular brekkie is a $40 Uber Eats order), this is about helping peeps establish priorities (like a $1.50 avocado on homemade sourdough with Aer opress coffee). Happiness comes from embracing minimalism, shedding those onerous things you don’t need (like multiple investment properties and vehi cles, gym memberships, private schooling and luxury vacations) and being grateful for, and con tent with, what you have - your face, car, house, phone, etc.without the need for an upgrade.

As well as being happier and less at the mercy of economic cycles (and the ensuing media hyste ria), you can also view this ‘reset’ as reactionary and disruptive, middle-class-style.

Imagine, darlings, if we ceased focusing on our appear ance and began appreciating the reflection in the mirror, imagine being content with a house sans luxury fittings and designer furniture - we could put the companies that exploit insecurities out of business. By refusing to engage in the ram pant consumption extolled by the media, we can focus on our physical environment and men tal wellbeing. And, while we are minimalising our lifestyles at Christmas, let us Marie Kondo our Yuletide gatherings. Forget the ‘how to deal with difficult people’ courses of the early 2000s - if your in-laws don’t spark joy, don’t suffer their putdowns and misery during the Christmas season, Kondo them from your life! Remember, “the happiest people don’t have everything, they just make the best of everything.”

Merry middle-class Christ mas, darlings!

Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Ty Kwondo

The Beast's Monthly Mailbag

Waverley Cemetery Is No Place for Dogs

Dear Beast - God help us if prodog, anti-Boomer ‘Harry from Clovelly’ (Whinging Boomers, Letters, The Beast, July 2022) crosses paths with anti-dog-offleash, possible but not confirmed Boomer ‘Sam from Clovelly’ (Naive, Ignorant, Entitled, or Just Plain Dumb? Letters, The Beast, August 2022) down on the Clovelly promenade. The ensuing dog-leash related rage would be cause for concern.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a dog as much as the next person. They are part of people’s families and companions to many. We’ve looked after our neighbour’s dog and we love it. Heck, some of my best friends are dogs. Having said that, and although I am not a Boomer, I am with Sam on the off-leash thing and there is one place where I really think we need a doggy re-think. That place is Waverley Cemetery.

Waverley Cemetery used to be a dog-free zone. Then, during the first COVID lockdown, they opened it up to dogs on a leash and it’s stayed that way since. I know my neighbours and friends love to walk their dogs there, and who could blame them? It’s such a beautiful, peaceful place. The problem is that it’s now treated as an off-leash dog park by most dog walkers. I counted 20 dogs off-leash there last Sunday while on a short walk.

There are three good reasons to keep dogs out of the cemetery. The first is respect for the dead. Dogs are defecating (crapping) and urinating (pissing) all over our friends and relatives who have passed. It is disrespectful.

The second is that the ceme tery is a place of quiet reflection. People seek to remember their relatives there in a peaceful environment. Dogs are naturally inquisitive, meaning they run up to anyone they see. They will bark at their owners and other dogs. As a result, at many times, it is no longer possible to contemplate life and one’s departed friends and family in peace.

The third is that the ceme tery is a biodiversity hotspot in Waverley. It provides rare and invaluable habitat for such species as the superb fairy wren, white-browed scrub wren and the New Holland honeyeater. I have even once seen a sacred kingfish er in the coastal fringe vegetation of the cemetery (unbelievable but true!). Dogs in the cemetery, leashed or un-leashed, have a significant negative impact on this bird habitat haven and its bi odiversity. Birds are driven away by the scent of dogs and dogs chase birds causing them undue stress. I have not seen superb fairy wrens within the cemetery all year, which I believe is due to the presence of dogs.

To be clear, dog owners need places to exercise their dogs,

and Waverley Council rightly provides many dog off-leash and on-leash areas for this reason. Calga Reserve, right next to the cemetery, is one such area. However, for the reasons above, Waverley Cemetery should not be such a place and should revert to being a dog-free zone.

Stephen Lightfoot Generation X Bronte

Pearl Needs to Do Better

Dear Editor - Pearl, in ‘Leaders of Business Feign Concern for Child Welfare’ (The Beast, November 2022) displays ignorant woke left bias in focusing her criticism on big business for criticising the management of COVID-19 in Australia.

There are several more suitable targets for criticism, in particular controlling state governments and health bureaucracies, and a supine federal government.

They were all alarmed by the initial death toll in aged care facilities. The vaccination roll-out was too slow and not sufficient ly focused on the over 70s. In addition, quarantine facilities were mismanaged, especially in Victoria.

Health bureaucrats then connived with willing state governments in a series of control orders, including mask mandates when they knew that masks were relatively ineffective for controlling viruses, school closures when it was apparent that children were only mildly affected by the virus, and lock downs that disadvantaged those less-well-paid workers who could not work from home such as those in hospitality, services and construction.

The death rate for NSW is instructive. Of 3.55 million con firmed cases to 22 October 2022, just 5,430 people died (NSW Health Data). This is a death rate of about 0.15 per cent. That translates as 1.5 per thousand infections; a serious issue but hardly threatening national life.

Words The Good People of the Eastern Beaches

In fact, the median age of those who died in NSW was over 84 years old. Few under 70 died. COVID-19 was an infection that killed mainly the very old and those with major comorbidities. Sad as those deaths are, but writ ing as a person in their late 70s, I suggest that this should not have been used as an excuse to shut down the nation.

I think there is a strong case to be made for the dismissal of all the governments, Labor and Lib eral, that participated so enthu siastically in suppressing human rights. There is a strong case for the termination of employment of all the senior health officials in every state.

How do we ensure that this shameful episode in national life is not repeated? I hope that readers of The Beast consider how they can have some impact on this matter.

Chris Bellenger Clovelly

Electricity Charges

On receiving a demand for pay ment of $2,523 for three months’ supply of electricity to a one bed room unit totally unoccupied due to COVID restrictions, replies from Energy Australia ranged from, (a) there must have been a prior incorrect meter reading for which a more recent reading is compensating; (b) major works were carried out in the building and/or someone broke in and hacked my supply; or, (c) there was a faulty device chewing up the power in my absence.

Each of these reasons could be discounted by a historical ex amination of previous readings, there being no such renovations or repairs in any of the 12 units, no evidence of the steel security door being breached or third level windows being entered, and the only item switched on was a 220 litre refrigerator using under $100 per quarter of power.

The meter readings were veri fied as correct and the possibility of inexplicable surges causing an increase in usage of 9,473 per

cent compared to the same quar ter of last year was dismissed. An employee warned that 98 per cent of past requests for meter checks revealed no faults and that the cost of these approxi mating $1,140 is then payable by the consumer. Obviously a major deterrent, the conclusion is that the power must have been used by someone and the account holder remains responsible.

Less than a 100 metres away an aged pensioner couple with no electric oven and just lights, a refrigerator, TV, radio and occa sional heating devices, were hit with a demand for $3,272 instead of the usual quarterly average of $250. Stonewalled with the same spurious explanations given to me, they were obliged to pay up or have their supply terminated.

As they are also aware of someone else who received a similar outrageous account, it would be interesting to know if other Beast readers have been correspondingly targeted by this former state utility, now, despite its name, being China owned and headquartered in Hong Kong.

John Murray Coogee

Carpark Chaos

Anthony Maguire - Having just read your piece in The Beast I felt compelled to write to you (Competition for Parking Drives Randwick Residents Insane, The Beast, November 2022). I live in John Street, Randwick, across the road from the Tafe, Rand wick Racecourse, the bus depot and the new Ambulance station! I think by now you will know where this is going.

If you want to talk about irate residents, come here and see what we all must contend with on a daily basis. At the bottom of King Street, adjacent to the Tafe and the garage, are storage units, horse transporters, flatbed trailers, dumped cars and boats on trailers, as well as people who park here from other areas and leave their cars all day!

We pay a fee to park but there is generally nowhere to park when my husband returns from work. He drives around for 30 minutes or so, sometimes longer, and then ends up parking at the other end of King Street.

Randwick Council won’t do anything about those that park in ‘no stopping’ zones. They want a letter first, by which time it’s too late! One can report all this but nothing ever gets done - it’s a permanent car park for everyone except the residents!

I have a ‘disabled’ sticker and there is only one disabled spot on King Street - that’s it! - which is used by people at Tafe, and most of them don’t even have a disabled permit to park there. I would also like to point out that on a race day it is ten times worse

So, if you think Frenchmans Road is bad, you should visit this area and see for yourself what the council won’t do here!

John Street Resident Randwick

Pick Up Your Poo

Dear Beast - Having been away overseas we look at our own en viroment with fresh eyes. Those eyes saw the Eastern Suburbs as having lost the war with dog owners and poo on our pave ments - the coastal walk around Maroubra being the worst!

For every dog owner who is bristling with indignation right now, knowing they pick up their dog’s poo, there are the equiva lent number of dog owners who don’t. It’s a disgrace! If you own a dog, you have a responsibility to look after it, including picking up its waste.

Oh, and those of you who pick up the poo and then leave the bagged poo on someone’s fence or hanging from a tree... REALLY?!

If you don’t want to pick up the poo or carry the bag full of it, then you shouldn’t own a dog. Get real!

Margy Coogee

St Catherine's Student Number Increase

Dear Editor - When the Inde pendent Planning Commission approved the St Catherine’s School development they im posed a cap on further student numbers, taking into account that St Catherine’s was already 120 students over their previous ly granted cap at the time of the commission’s meeting. The DA approval stated that St Cathe rine’s was only to increase its student numbers by 15 per year until 2030, and that increase was contingent on the school’s Operational Transport Manage ment Plan being effective. Then, and only then, could they apply for an increase - it couldn’t have been a clearer directive (anyone can see how ineffective that plan is by simply being in the streets that border the school at drop-off and pick-up times).

However, just recently, in The Sun-Herald on October 3, Principal Julie Townsend has giv en a real sob story that she can’t get sisters enrolled in the school because of this cap and she is planning to go the state govern ment asking for an increase of 200 students to be allowed, now.

Of course there is no mention that St Catherine’s are recruit ing students from China and Vietnam, an action which is impacting on the local sisters not being able to study at the same school.

Regards, Cathy Davitt Waverley

Editor's Note

St Catherine’s Principal Dr Julie Townsend did not specifically mention sisters being turned away in the above-mentioned article (Sydney Private Schools Warn Students Will Be Turned Away Unless Enrolment Caps Raised, by Lucy Carroll and Daniella White, The Sun-Herald, October 2, 2022).

Here are the relevant para graphs from that article:

St Catherine’s School prin cipal Julie Townsend said her school wants to increase its longstanding cap of 1050 to 1200 after building a new per forming arts and aquatic centre. The Waverley school plans to formally apply to the Planning Department to increase numbers but will need to prove it won’t increase traffic congestion.

“The school offers excellent education and student outcomes, and we hope the council and planning department would want to help, not hinder, rea sonable increases to numbers,” she said.

Townsend questioned whether strict caps were in the best in terest of students if schools were turning families away. More parents were enrolling their chil dren in year 5 to secure a spot, leaving little capacity for new students at year 7, she said.

The $50 Million Question: Bondi Pavilion, Sustainable Development and the Concrete Council

The ugly 33,000 Spanish ter racotta roof tiles on the Bondi Pavilion make it look dated, already. It’s hard to fathom that Waverley Council has spent $50 million dollars on redeveloping the Bondi Pavilion and yet the state of our local environment is appalling. It’s actually extremely hard to find details of where this money ($50 million) came from but apparently it was from the sale of the Waverley Council Maintenance Depot at Alexandria (good luck finding any details about this in Council’s financial records).

Waverley Council’s annu al income is $150 million (in comparison Woollahra Coun cil’s income is $110 million and Randwick Council’s income is $175 million). So, where does Waverley Council’s money (rate payers’ money) go?

Employee costs are a stag gering $70 million, and if you include contractors and consult

ants this expense is $78 million, making staffing costs 52 per cent of the Council’s total expenses (in comparison, Randwick Council’s staff costs make up just 38 per cent of their expenses and for Woollahra Council it’s 42 per cent).

Given the miserable state of our parks, who would know that Waverley Council spends $10 million on parks maintenance?

The United Nations defines sustainable development as “de velopment that meets the needs of the present without com promising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs”. So, spending $50 million, but not one cent on the local environment such as Bronte and Tamarama gullies (that Council destroyed and used as rubbish dumps in the ‘60s and ‘70s), is simply not sustainable develop ment - it’s gross overspending and it is not fair on our future generations.

It takes a $50,000 grant from the NSW Government to excite Waverley Council, who recently proudly stated they would plant 400 trees. Whoopee! The fact is that Waverley Council should be planting 10,000 trees a year and allocating the funds to do so (per haps by reducing their excessive staffing costs).

I now personally refer to Wa verley Council as the ‘Concrete Council’. One only has to look at the lack of trees and shrubs in the new bike lane project at Bondi Junction. The few trees that have been planted such as London Plane trees are a poor choice for rising temperatures driven by climate change.

Oh, and I forgot to mention Waverley Council received almost $11 million from parking fines last financial year, which equates to over 90,000 parking tickets. That’s more than one ticket for every one of the 75,000 residents living in the Waverley Local Government Area.

Charles Hunter Bronte

Waverley Council's Response: Building for the Future

Waverley Council is extremely proud of its heritage restoration of Bondi Pavilion and everyone who worked on the project, including the employment it generated during the COVID-19 pandemic.

The Pavilion will be a national and global leader in sustainabil ity through innovative environ mental technology and will soon be a certified 5 Star Green Star rated Australian Building of Excellence. Its 217 solar panels will generate 71 per cent of the building’s energy needs and 80 per cent of the structure was retained, preserving its herit age significance and retaining trapped carbon, and 90 per cent of the construction waste was recycled.

The 33,000 interlocking ter racotta roof tiles are a nod to the original Spanish-style roof tiles installed in 1928 and our head contractor Buildcorp and our

architect Tonkin Zulaikha Greer undertook extensive prototyp ing, sampling and mock-ups to develop a colour scheme that’s not only heritage to the building, but compliments our coastal sur rounds, and has been achieved by randomly interspersing the various colours.

Council’s strong financial position and fiscal management enabled the Council to fully fund its restoration and conservation project without any external government grants or assistance during COVID shutdowns and restrictions, to conserve and transform the almost century-old building into a community and cultural centre of the future, built to withstand our hostile coastal environment, for at least another 100 years.

The budget covered the cost of building works, extensive landscaping and public domain works and government legislated requirements. This budget also covered a quantum of unforeseen

conditions and costs including pandemic-related costs; Ausgrid costs, Sydney Water costs, the remediation of issues with contaminated soil and structural works.

Council did not take out a loan for the project, therefore does not owe any money on the building, which will generate significant income for Council that will be reinvested into providing our services and facilities to the com munity and eventually recoup the cost of the project.

The feedback we’ve received from residents, businesses, vis itors and from across all tiers of government is that they love the Pav, and we hope you will come to love it as well.

Waverley Council Waverley ¢

Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and suburb.

Locals Concerned Over Burrows Park Proposal

Words Duncan Horscroft Photo Candice Burrows

Forget the inclement weather, there is a major storm brewing over Randwick City Council’s proposal to redevelop Burrows Park at Clovelly.

The ground is currently used for junior rugby league and is a home ground for teams such as Bondi United, Paddo Colts and Clovelly Crocodiles, who are part of the Eastern Suburbs Junior Rugby League, as well as the Maccabi Senior Rugby Club and Clovelly Eagles Junior Rugby Club.

Local residents are con cerned the ground will be under the control of the NSW Rugby League and they fear the ground could be used for professional NRL games as well as the junior league.

Included in the development proposal is covered seating, an electronic scoreboard and extending the length of the ground to make it an interna tional standard NRL facility.

Also in the new plan is a pro posed upgrade of the “old and non-compliant” facilities such as the change rooms, toilets

and kiosk, which some are in favour of.

At present, the ground is only about 85 metres long and to make it compliant it would have to be extended to a full 100 metre field, which would encroach on native plants and the well-used dog park on the southern end and would entail major earthworks.

The Beast has seen a letter from the Clovelly Eagles stating very clearly that the club is of the opinion that “there is no need at all for the field to be lengthened or widened,” and that, although it does support a renovation of the current building, the club is against knocking it down and complete ly rebuilding.

“We believe a playing surface upgrade and renovation of the current facility ... would be a better use of council resources,” the letter stated, opinions which are shared by Randwick Rugby Club and Randwick Juniors, according to the letter.

Residents are also fearful the new ground would have a major

impact on parking during the football season in an area where parking is always a problem.

In the early ‘90s residents blocked a push by Eastern Sub urbs Leagues Club to develop the land, which included taking over the Clovelly Bowling Club.

However, Randwick City Council is adamant the Sydney Roosters are not involved in this project and that no pro fessional NRL game would be played on the new facility.

“The word ‘international’ is an NRL term for a full-size field,” Randwick Council Direc tor City Services Todd Clarke said in response to residents’ concerns.

“It does not refer to profes sional or senior players. Council is investigating the potential to make the ground bigger to accommodate junior games for the over 13s to support our local junior teams who have to play elsewhere on international compliant fields.”

“Our design team has sat down with local sporting groups first to develop a brief only for the new project. The NRL pro vides a set of specifications for local footy groups to assist in their decision-making process when applying for grants and upgrading facilities,” he said.

Still, locals are wary of the proposal and want questions answered by the council. In late October, residents were invited to a Zoom meeting scheduled for 7pm which they expected to be chaired by a Randwick Council member. This did not occur, and participants were still waiting online an hour later only to be told that the convenor of the meeting was a volunteer and had taken ill and the meeting could not go ahead.

Another meeting was sched uled for November 14 at the Clovelly Bowling Club, while this edition of The Beast will be on the printing press.

Sacred ground.

Home, Sweet Home

From a warehouse in Botany, community and corporate volunteers help people living in crisis to set up new homes furnished with everything from beds to bath towels. Welcome to Re-Love, a charity established by Bronte architect Ren Fernando and investment bank er Ben Stammer.

It started two years ago dur ing lockdown as Ms Fernando saw how much good quality household goods were being left out in the streets of the Eastern Suburbs. The initial goal was to assist five women moving out of crisis accommodation.

Since then, Re-Love has helped 1,000 individuals and families establish new homes.

Re-Love’s latest goal is to double its impact and create 1,000 homes in the next year. ‘1,000 Homes’ is the name of its campaign launched on No vember 25 (International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women).

While the majority of the people it assists are women and children experiencing domestic violence or homelessness, ReLove also helps men who find themselves in crisis situations. Around half the people they

assist are Indigenous. These people have been placed in accommodation by organisations like Wayside Chapel but lack the resources to buy household items. They are able to do a free shop for whatever they need at Re-Love.

The huge facility in Botany has everything for setting up house and it is all superior quality, as The Beast saw when we were taken on a guided tour. Pointing to a small mountain of microwave ovens in one corner, Ms Fernando said, “They came from the Commonwealth Bank and they’re the MenuMaster brand, really good quality.”

Another area had shelves bulging with packets of sheets and doonas.

“We just got this incredible donation from Sheridan - 30 pallets worth! It’s all brand new, it’s just last season’s colours.”

There are even things like ready-framed pictures and all manner of homewares, right down to kitchen drawer items like potato peelers and can openers.

If you are interested in do nating to Re-Love or volunteer ing your services, please visit www.relove.org.au.

Christmas Presents for Sick Kids Still Brightening Up Thousands of Lives

Words Nicholas of Myra Photo James Hutton

Thankfully the majority of us have never had the misfortune of spending Christmas in hos pital, neither as a patient nor at the bedside of a loved one. Others are not so fortunate, and for the last 15 years one local dad who endured more than his fair share of hospital Christmas’ at the bedside of his sick son has been brightening up thousands of little lives by organising Christmas Presents for Sick Kids.

Mal Ward’s son Johnno bravely battled childhood liver disease for nine years before losing the fight in August 2008. Christmas Presents for Sick Kids is held annually in loving memory of Johnno.

If you’d like to donate a gift, please drop it in to the Coogee Bay Hotel’s Sea View Room from 1pm on Sunday, December 18. Write the age and gender that the gift is suited to on the present and place it under the tree. All presents will be deliv ered to The Sydney Children’s Hospitals at Randwick and Westmead the next day. Vol unteers are also invited to hang around and help wrap presents. For more information, please call Mal on 0414 293 396.

The real life Santa Claus.

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Brendan Read

Volunteers at the Re-Love warehouse.

Welcome to Pothole Hell

You’re driving along a wet road when, suddenly... BANG! Your car judders as a front wheel disappears deep into an invis ible pothole. A microsecond later, another jarring impact as the back wheel also plunges into, then out of, the abyss. As you continue on your journey, the steering wheel is shaking and your recently-serviced car is pulling you over to the side of the road. Now, where is the nearest tyre and suspension workshop?

Looking on the bright side, you are able to continue driving after your encounter with the Pothole from Hades. But not everyone is so lucky.

“We’ve had cars turning up on tow trucks after blowing two tyres from a pothole,” Mark Hely, owner of JAX Tyres & Auto in Kensington, told The Beast

“There’s also been an un precedented number of busted wheel rims and wheel align ments.”

Mr Hely said pothole-damaged cars are coming from all the local council areas - Randwick, Waver ley, Woollahra and Bayside.

UNSW computer systems analyst Reef Gaha had an en counter with what he describes as “the Marianas Trench of potholes” on Wentworth Ave nue, Pagewood, necessitating a wheel alignment. He now carefully checks road conditions using the Waze navigation and traffic app, which warns about potholes (some, not all, so don’t rely on it too heavily!).

Potholes not only damage ve hicles - they can also injure peo ple. Bondi marketing executive Steve Brennen and his 14-yearold daughter recently found themselves flying through the

air after their bicycles hit a clus ter of potholes in wet conditions on Blair Street.

“I was OK, but my daugh ter lost a lot of skin from her knees,” said Mr Brennen.

“After I contacted the coun cil, they promptly fixed it, but I think there should have been a warning sign or something.”

What creates potholes? The culprit is La Niña, with heavy rain attacking cracks in the asphalt surfaces of roads and washing away the soil beneath. As vehicles drive over the fractured asphalt, potholes are created. And there has been so much rain this year that councils have had a hard job repairing them.

“To be repaired properly and effectively, the road and the hole needs to be bone dry,” explained a spokesperson from Randwick City Council, whose asphalt team has filled more than 1,600 pot holes since the start of the year.

“Once we receive a pothole request, we aim to repair it within three days.”

To report a pothole to Randwick City Council, you can phone 1300 722 542 or email council@randwick.nsw.gov.au. Another option is using the Snap Send Solve app, which for wards pictures of potholes to the appropriate authority - whether that is Council or Transport for NSW (the NSW Government manages and maintains key routes like Frenchmans Road, Anzac Parade and Avoca Street).

Waverley Council also recom mends Snap Send Solve. Other wise you can contact customer service on 9083 8000, or email info@waverley.nsw.gov.au.

“Bondi Road, Carrington Road, Old South Head Road and Council Street are State Roads,” a spokesperson said.

“Potholes on those roads need to be reported through transport.nsw.gov.au.”

Happy motoring!

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Steve Brennen

The Blair Street moguls.

Magical Transformations Under Autism Swim Program

Children on the autism spec trum and with other unique needs may need an extra help ing hand when learning to swim and be safe around the water, which is why the beach sessions conducted by charity Autism Swim have two SLSC club members to help every child.

The free ‘Dippers’ sessions are held locally over eight weeks in summer at Bondi, Bronte and Coogee in conjunction with the SLSC’s Nippers program.

Autism Swim CEO Erika Gleeson said they are open to children and young adults who have needs that might mean that mainstream water safety education is not right for them.

“There’s no age limit, as this goes against the notion of in clusion, so we get young adults taking part as well,” Ms Gleeson told The Beast.

Dippers sessions are based on the Nippers program but tailored for individual needs.

“For some, the goal might just be getting in the water, for others it might be riding a board for the first time.”

Ms Gleeson said “magical” transformations take place as participants benefit from the joy and therapy of the ocean.

“They might have been having a meltdown beforehand, but the moment they enter the water all their sensory challeng es are alleviated. It brings them back to what we call ‘baseline’. Water becomes a ‘happy place’ where their sensory needs are met and demands are reduced. Parents watching on from the beach are in tears as they see the dramatic changes that can occur.”

The beach sessions start with general safety skills and getting participants to feel relaxed in the ocean. From there, the participants learn aquatic skills which are matched to their goals, needs and preferences.

Autism Swim is inviting Eastern Suburbs businesses or individuals to support its cause through sponsorship packages. For more information, please visit autismswim.com.au or email CEO Erika Gleeson at erika@autismswim.com.au.

Happy Ending to 'The Man Who Was Never Born' Saga

Words Anthony Maguire

John Garrick is no longer ‘The Man Who Was Never Born’. As chronicled by The Beast last April, the Rose Bay resident had no record of his birth. John was born in a hospital in Japan in 1949. The son of an RAAF inter preter and his Australian wife, John came to live in Australia with his parents in 1951. In later years he got an Australian passport and driver’s licence. Then, a year ago, he wanted to do some conveyancing and was told he needed a birth certifi cate. That’s when his bureau cratic nightmare began.

“Hospitals in Japan only kept records for 30 years after World War II, and Australian authorities generally only issue a certificate with an overseas country of birth if adoption has taken place,” John said.

He had to go through more than 12 government depart ments before obtaining the document from the NSW Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages.

“I’m very happy my persis tence paid off,” he said.

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Gavin Little

High fives for a ‘Dippers’ program participant.

John with his birth certificate.

Coogee Bay Road Needs a Tree Change

Picture this: You are a tourist driving your hire car down Coogee Bay Road. Ahead of you is the glittering blue jewel of the Pacific Ocean. But to your left and right, fronting the shops, your attention is drawn to a dozen lifeless trees that look as though they have been through a nuclear winter.

“This is supposed to be the main thoroughfare of one of the most beautiful beaches in Aus tralia,” David Martin, owner of Coogee Courtyard café told The Beast. “There needs to be an ongoing commitment to keep it looking beautiful, and that hasn’t been happening.”

Maurice Lombardo, owner of Coogee Bay Road’s iconic La Spiaggia restaurant, agreed.

“We’re going to get literally millions of people coming to Coogee Beach this summer; Coogee Bay Road needs to look more inviting. The trees are either dead or dying. As well as new trees, we need an invest ment in lighting to help bring the area to life at night.”

The 12 trees were plant ed in 2018. One of them is a

particularly unpopular addition to the streetscape because it lies within a little traffic island at the end of Coogee Bay Road, impeding left turning traffic into Arden Street.

“On a summer’s day the traffic banks up and it can take you 15 minutes to turn left,” explained Mr Martin. “The golden rule is that you don’t drive down Coogee Bay Road, you drive up it.”

In the summer of 20202021, Randwick City Council ran a three-month ‘activation’ of Coogee Bay Road, Coogee’s Shared Village Project, where extensive funds were invested in a temporary beautification trial. The bottom end of the road was made one-way and the restaurant and shopping strip enlivened with street furniture, musicians and fairy lights.

Council consulted with the community via a letter sent to all 7,800 households in Coogee in January 2021 and 3,029 completed surveys were re ceived. A whopping 78 per cent of respondents thought the pro ject should have been extended.

Of those, 86 per cent wanted it extended permanently, 6 per cent for three months and 5 per cent for six months. 77 per cent of Coogee’s small businesses also supported an extension.

Randwick Council staff recommended an extension to August 2021 but a motion moved by Liberal Councillor Brendan Roberts to do just that failed to get enough support.

Danin Silberman, co-owner of Chargrill Charlie’s at the corner of Coogee Bay Road and Brook Street, said he liked the way the area was brought to life during the activation trial. He called for permanent one-way traffic along the Coogee Bay Road strip.

“Two-way traffic doesn’t really work,” he said. “The idea would be to make Coogee Bay Road more pedestrianised.”

A spokesperson for Randwick City Council told The Beast, “Coogee Bay Road between Brook Street and Arden Street was upgraded in 2019 with new paving, street furniture, undergrounding of power, planting of street trees and the installation of multipurpose poles that can accommodate banners. The work included widening of footpaths which improved outdoor dining and new pedestrian crossings for improved pedestrian access.

“While we are getting really great feedback on the improved pedestrian areas, unfortunately some of the plantings haven’t been a success, but we plan to replace these trees.”

The recent activation project had also received positive feedback. The “festoon lighting” installed under that project had not been made permanent due to resident complaints.

Meanwhile, extensive improvements are planned for the beachfront area includ ing replacement of the public amenities, bus shelter and café kiosk at Goldstein Reserve.

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Ornagh Mentalpear

In need of some love.

Joy in a Jaded World

Christmas Eve this year will be the ten-month anniversary of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine (not the best present, hey!). After everything this year, I’m nerv ous that Christmas might feel more like the season to be jaded than the season to be jolly.

Putin’s doubling down on his “special” operation and Xi Jin ping recently dispatched with his closest rival. Our own parliament has hardly been a place of peace and joy, and did you hear that Wuhan went back into COVID lockdown the other week? “We feel numb,” the locals say.

Closer to home, our relation ships have been stretched thin by the pandemic, almost every one’s struggling with mental health, La Niña’s threatening to rain on summer’s parade (again) and the jury’s still out on whether Lindsay Lohan’s return can save the Christmas movie genre after all.

Then again, so much of this is simply life, across the globe and down the ages. In the first century, the locals of Nazareth were hardly living their best life. The whole reason Mary and Joseph had to travel to Bethlehem was because the occupying forces were flexing their muscles and auditing their tax base. All those people who seek out the adult Jesus give us a glimpse into daily life back

then - real women and men who felt hopeless and helpless and trapped. And sure, there’d been promises of a better future circulating for centuries, but it must’ve been hard not to be a little jaded by reality.

But here’s the thing: on that first Christmas Eve, as that baby gasped for air, hope was born. Because if Christmas is true, if the Creator really did step into this broken creation, if that helpless baby was also somehow the Son of God, then God has not abandoned this world. And Jesus grew up to be the sort of king who didn’t despatch with his enemies but died for them. This Christmas he offers us the forgiveness that assures us our failures are not final, the love that can heal broken relation ships and the hope that can give us joy in a jaded world. If Christ mas is true, it really is the season to be joyful. Merry Christmas!

In other good news, St Luke’s is hosting Clovelly’s biggest Christmas street party on Sun day, December 4, with free kids activities from 4.30pm, carols at 6pm and plenty of good food for sale. Everyone is welcome!

Dave Rogers is the Lead Minister of St Luke’s. For more information, please visit www.clovelly.org.au.

New Podcast is Well Nice, Innit

Words Leonie Marsh

Three local wellness junkies have recently launched a new podcast called Well Nice.

Hosted by Nia Pejsak (trend researcher and fashion psy chologist), Lucy Doherty-Cole (producer and pilates instruc tor) and Lizzie Bland (Founder of Lean Bean fitness studio in Bondi), these three Brits living in the Eastern Suburbs have bonded over their love of well ness in all its forms.

The Well Nice podcast seeks to extend the traditional defini tion of ‘wellness’ as we know it. The episodes are informative yet casual conversations with vari ous guests, delivered in a fresh and friendly style that makes you feel like these three are your new besties. It’s a must-listen for anyone who is interested in optimal health, personal growth, people’s stories, art, lifestyle and having a laugh.

The first episode features Georgia Forsyth (nutritionist and founder of Cohere), who is a passionate advocate for wom ens’ sexual health and pleasure.

“From the everyday to the unexpected, we’re inspired to reframe what we consider as wellness in our daily life,” says Pejsak.

Please follow @well_ _nice on Instagram for all their updates.

Your new besties.

Words Dave Rogers Photo Sergei Shoigu

Щасливого Різдва.

Crime News

Bronte Man Charged With Wife’s Murder

Retired engineer Steven Barker has been charged with murdering his wife at their home in Bronte.

It is alleged 74-year-old Barker inflicted fatal injuries on his wife Christine, also aged 74. Some news reports said she had been strangled. Police arrived at the Bronte Road property to find her dying out the front of the house. She was rushed to hospi tal but could not be saved.

Barker appeared in Waverley Court charged with murder and bail was refused. He wore a blue forensic jumpsuit and had a large bruise under one eye. The court heard he had made full ad missions to police who attended the murder scene on the evening of the attack and these had been captured on bodycam.

Fake Money Furore

Teenage boys from prestigious The Scots College in Bellevue Hill passed forged $50 notes at a Double Bay newsagency.

However, they were not very good criminals and broke the cardinal rule of not returning to the scene of the crime. Shop own er Jim Cho said the same group of three boys returned two days later and tried the same scam - changing two $50 notes for a le gally-minted $100 bill. But the jig was up because after the original visit Mr Cho had noticed that the two fifties were bit smaller than they should be, further evidence

perhaps of this lot not being the sharpest cards in the deck.

Mr Cho posted security foot age on YouTube to try and find out who the perpetrators were. That was followed by a visit from two teachers from Scots who assured him he would be repaid.

The three boys have since been suspended from The Scots College, where the school motto is Utinam Patribus Nostris Digni Simus - May we be worthy of our forefathers.

Rape Acquittal

A former Today show producer accused of raping a woman who passed out from drink and drugs has been found not guilty.

Thomas Nicol, 33, was alleged to have committed the crime at his home in Bondi after a night out drinking and snorting cocaine. But a jury at Sydney District Court returned a not guilty verdict.

Accountant Figured She’d Get Even With Guard

Accountant Tara Murray launched a drunken attack on a security guard outside The Beach Road Hotel in Bondi. The 34-year-old punched and kicked the man after being given her marching orders from the pub.

In Waverley Court, Murray faced charges of assault and attempting to enter premises she had been excluded from. Her de fence counsel said she had been stressed from her bank job and preparations for her wedding.

Magistrate Jacqueline Milledge placed Murray on an 18-month good behaviour bond.

Beach Theft Warning

Police have warned people not to leave valuables on the beach following the onset of the beach theft season.

A posting on Eastern Suburbs Area Police Command Facebook page said: “As we (hopeful ly) start entering the warmer months, Eastern Suburbs Police are already receiving reports of theft from our beaches. Police

remind beachgoers not to leave valuables unattended on the beach. Leave them at home or utilise the beach lockers. As al ways, report all thefts to police.”

Man Shot in Carpark

A 26-year-old Maroubra man was shot in the leg by police after he allegedly threatened them with a large knife in an underground carpark in Matraville. He was re ported to have earlier assaulted two women in a nearby house. He was taken to hospital and has been charged with several offences.

Domestic Assault Had an Audience

Kensington man Yi Feng got slap-happy with his wife in front of a window and the assault was witnessed by someone out in the street. Seeing the victim being repeatedly slapped, the witness took video and called police, who swooped on the couple’s apart ment and arrested Feng.

In Waverley Court, 38-yearold Feng pleaded guilty to an assault charge. His lawyer said he had been intoxicated and had been arguing with his wife about their shared business. The case was adjourned pending reports.

PT Took Leak on SCG Roof

Bondi personal trainer Daniel King decided to go climbing while watching the final Austral ia v England rugby test match at the SCG. Showcasing his physi cal skills, he climbed up the edge of the SCG’s giant video screen, then hoisted himself onto the roof of the Bill O’Reilly stand.

Having reached his destination, the 31-year-old experienced an urge to urinate. So he went with the flow - in full view of spectators in other stands (the stadium was packed with 43,000 people).

King faced court charged with offensive behaviour and climbing buildings on scheduled lands without approval. He was sen tenced to a 12-month conditional release order by the magistrate, who said the “stupid” climbing stunt had been fuelled by alcohol.

Trouble in paradise.

Subject Mossy Rocks Location Tamarama Photographer Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall

Subject Gentle Giles Location Coogee Photographer Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall

Subject Dawn Patrol Location Coogee Photographer Cath Murray

Subject Beached Blueys Location Bronte Photographer Brittany Robbins

Subject Long Day Location Coogee Photographer Brody Vancers

Doing what makes her happy.

Local Artist... Bianca Pole from Bronte

Interview James Hutton

Photo Lisa O’Dea

Local artist and occupational therapy student Bianca Pole is the talent behind this month’s cover painting of Basil the cavoo dle at Bondi. Bianca shares her local favourites with The Beast...

How long have you lived here? I have lived in Bronte with my family for three years. After living in the city for all of my life, we wanted a sea change. We swapped diesel fumes for coastal breezes and never looked back.

What's your favourite beach? Although I’m closest to Bronte Beach, Coogee will always be my favourite as I spent so much time there as a child.

What's your favourite eatery? If you’re after a delicious dinner, you can’t beat Dom & Co Pizzeria on Macpherson Street, it’s the best I’ve ever had. If you feel like lunch, Favoloso is hard to beat.

Where do you like to have a drink? The Tea Gardens in Bondi Junction, hanging out with my friends and enjoying a RazVodka.

Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? The beautiful coastal walks. While I was on one of

these walks, I decided to break the rules of a little playground overlooking Bondi Beach and let my cavoodle Basil enjoy a ride on the swing... the inspiration for the cover!

Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? House prices and super windy days.

How would you describe your art? I like to describe my art as having the honesty of a child. I create things that I have a genuine passion for and try to avoid art trends. I aim to make paintings that people can look at and smile. With everything going on in the world today, sometimes it’s refreshing to see a dog on a swing or a rat eating a birthday cake.

Where can people see your work? A few of my paintings can be seen at Winkel Gallery in Clovelly, and all of my work can be viewed and purchased on my website, tadpolegallery.com, and Instagram, @tadpolegallery.

Who are your artistic inspirations? I’m inspired by a variety of artists including Vernon Ah Kee, Ron Mueck, Monet and Artemisia Gentileschi, but in the end, it depends on the media and subject matter. If I’m attempting to make a realistic animal art doll, I may reference Patricia Piccinini or Jim Henson. If it’s a painting, perhaps Van Gogh.

What are you working on at the moment? My works vary in both medium and content. I’ve been exploring miniature art, in particular anthropomorphic animals. Two favourite recent works are an oil portrait of my boyfriend and a raccoon family baking cookies! I also make fully articulated vintage teddy bears and won some awards at this year’s Easter Show.

When did you discover you had a gift for your craft? Ever since I can remember I had the urge

to create. I was the kid in school who always had a paintbrush or pencil in my hand. No matter the medium, I’d give it a go, and I was constantly painting, drawing, sewing, knitting and woodworking. I even tried my hand at pottery despite being absolutely terrible at it.

Did you study art? I studied visual art at Sydney University for a year and was also selected to complete an intensive life drawing course at the National Art School.

Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists? Create what you want to make! You are the designer of your own story, so don’t let other people enforce their values on your art. Re maining authentic is far more important than ticking someone else’s box.

What do you get up to on the weekends? I immerse myself in crazy artmaking, and on Satur day nights I like to party with my friends.

What do you do for work? I’m currently a full-time student studying occupational therapy at ACU. I’m hoping to enter pae diatrics where I can incorporate some of my creative interests into effective therapies for cli ents, as well as continue with art.

What's your favourite thing about work? Occupational therapy is such an amazing field of work and it’s one of the most creative forms of therapy. It requires problem-solving skills across a wide range of clientele.

Do you have a favourite quote? “People say nothing is impossi ble, but I do nothing everyday.” - Winnie the Pooh

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Life is what you make it. Enjoy the stupid little things and do what makes you happy!

The Unreliable Guide to... Trust

in fines for privacy laxity was, “Honestly, I’m not sure what penalties benefit anybody,” should try looking up the word ‘ethical’ in the dictionary. Oh, and ‘honesty’, while she’s at it.

Crime and Punishment

The Unreliable Guide has recently developed trust issues, and apparently I’m not alone. There is a worldwide lack of trust in our governments, corporations and institutions and it’s only getting worse. We’ve seen too many lies, been let down too often. The dictionary defines trust as the “firm belief in the reliability, integrity, truth, character or ability of someone or something”. Can you, hand on heart, say that you now trust Optus? Or Medibank? After all the recent security bungles that have left millions of Australians vulnerable to identity theft, we’ve totally lost confidence in these corporations. If you’ve been feeling like a helpless little prawn caught up in this vast drag net of f*ckwittery, read on. Because the tide may be turning...

Why Trust is Important

According to the worldwide research organi sation, Gallup, “integrity is the ultimate brand attribute” because when we consumers lose trust in an organisation, they lose our business. For long-term sustainability, businesses must deliver on their promises or else go all out to rectify the situation when they can’t. That means more than a crappy generic email a week after the breach was all over the news - Optus, I’m looking at you. But why was Optus so hopeless? Gallup suggests that, “Strong ethical leadership is a big part of what gives employees and customers the confi dence to invest in long-term relationships with organisations.” Clearly, Optus CEO Kelly Bayer Rosmarin, whose response to calls for increases

Currently, Optus and Medibank can be fined a maximum of $2.22 million for breaching the Privacy Act. If that sounds like a lot to you, bear in mind the federal government has already allocated $5.5 million of our precious tax dollars, to “investigate and respond to the Optus data breach”. Also remember, Optus and Medibank aren’t short of a bob or two. Data from digital marketing intelligence platform Pathmatics revealed that Optus’ digital advertising spend dropped from $55,000 per day to under $5,000 on the day that the crisis was announced. Perhaps they’re saving up for the fine - $55,000 a day is over $20 million a year - and that’s just for digital marketing. A $2 million fine (for a breach that has affected and will continue to affect 38 per cent of the Australian population for years to come) is just loose change for Optus. In response to this disparity, we could be about to introduce world leading privacy breach penalties. If the Privacy Legislation Amendment (Enforcement and Other Measures) Bill 2022 passes, companies guilty of serious or repeated interference with pri vacy will be fined whichever is greater of $50 mil lion, three times the value of the benefit obtained through the misuse of information, or 30 per cent of turnover in the relevant period. If this law had been in place when Optus f*cked up they could’ve owed us tax payers over $2.34 billion. Imagine how many submarines Morrison would’ve bought with a windfall like that. And if you think I’m be ing spiteful, Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus has said penalties for failing to protect personal data must increase substantially, so corporate boards can no longer dismiss the current pitiful fines as a “cost of doing business”. Dreyfus promises the government will make companies recognise that “data storage not as an asset, but as a liability or a potential liability”. Let’s hope we can trust our politicians to pass that bill - there will be great pressure from companies for them not to do so.

Finally, for all the ‘boohoo, we’re so sorry’ fluff we’ve been hearing, remember that companies like Medibank and Optus make a great deal of money from us. They can afford to pay experts to install the very best operating systems. They choose not to, because they are either stupid, lazy or greedy. None of those three attributes speaks of integrity. That’s why they’ve lost my trust - and my business.

Words Nat Shepherd Photo Kerry Hacker

Data security specialist Kelly Bayer Rosmarin.

Mayor's Message

Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah!

O n b e h a l f o f W a v e r l e y C o u n c i l a n d m y f e l l o w C o u n c i l l o r s , I w o u l d l i k e t o t a k e t h i s o p p o r t u n i t y t o t h a n k o u r c o m m u n i t y f o r t a k i n g t h e t i m e t o e n g a g e w i t h u s t h i s y e a r o n a r a n g e o f n e i g h b o u r h o o d a n d l a r g e s c a l e p r o j e c t s a n d e x c i t i n g c o m m u n i t y p r o g r a m s .

A f t e r t h e c h a l l e n g e s o f C O V I D r e s t r i c t i o n s , i t w a s w o n d e r f u l t o b e a b l e t o c o m e t o g e t h e r i n p e r s o n t o c e l e b r a t e W a v e r l e y ’ s m i l e s t o n e s t h i s y e a r i n c l u d i n g t h e s p e c t a c u l a r r e o p e n i n g o f B o n d i P a v i l i o n w h i c h h a s a n e x c i t i n g s u m m e r p r o g r a m p l a n n e d t h e m a j o r i t y c o m p l e t i o n o f t h e B o n d i J u n c t i o n C y c l e w a y a n d S t r e e t s c a p e U p g r a d e a n d r e t u r n o f c o m m u n i t y e v e n t s s u c h a s B o n d i F e s t i v a l , F e s t i v a l o f t h e W i n d s , S c u l p t u r e b y t h e S e a , H e a d O n P h o t o F e s t i v a l a n d C i t y 2 S u r f . T o s a y t h a t 2 0 2 2 w a s a b i g y e a r f o r W a v e r l e y i s a n u n d e r s t a t e m e n t , a n d w e

h a v e l o t s m o r e t o l o o k f o r w a r d t o i n 2 0 2 3 i n c l u d i n g t h e c o m p l e t i o n o f t h e B o o t F a c t o r y b u i l d i n g r e s t o r a t i o n i n B o n d i J u n c t i o n , t h e p r o g r e s s i o n o f o u r s u r f c l u b u p g r a d e s , s e v e r a l e x c i t i n g s t r e e t s c a p e p r o j e c t s , p r o g r a m s f o r o u r s e n i o r s , f a m i l i e s a n d y o u t h , a n d o u r o n g o i n g c o m m i t m e n t t o r e c o n c i l i a t i o n .

A s a n o r g a n i s a t i o n , w e a r e m a k i n g s t r i d e s t o w a r d s n e t z e r o c a r b o n e m i s s i o n s b y 2 0 3 0 a n d e m i s s i o n s f o r C o u n c i l A s s e t s a n d O p e r a t i o n s h a v e b e e n f a l l i n g s t e a d i l y o v e r t h e l a s t s e v e n y e a r s d u e t o c o m p r e h e n s i v e e n e r g y e f f i c i e n c y u p g r a d e s , s o l a r i n s t a l l a t i o n s a n d r e n e w a b l e e n e r g y p u r c h a s i n g . W e a r e h e l p i n g o u r c o m m u n i t y r e a c h t h e n e t z e r o b y 2 0 3 5 t a r g e t C o u n c i l h a s s e t f o r t h e m

through our Environmental Action Plan which has ambitious goals and actions to ensure ongoing positive impact on our local environment, people and the planet.

I would also like to thank each and every one of our staff for their hard work this year, including those who work behind the scenes. From our staff in Public Place Cleansing, Parks and Gardens, Customer Service to Lifeguards: you help make Waverley an even better place, so thank you! So from our family to yours- best wishes for the festive season and a happy, safe and exciting 2023.

Paula Masselos Mayor of Waverley

Visit bondipavilion.com.au/whats_on to plan your summer at the Pav

Ghosts of the past.

Communication Let Me Down

Words Jeremy Ireland

Photo Tony Hadley

Who doesn’t love ‘80s music? Big hair, synthesizers, dramatic film clips... I was a sucker for the ‘New Romantic’ British stuff - Duran Duran, ABC, Span dau Ballet - and found myself recently searching YouTube for these classics and came across a song I hadn’t heard for years, Spandau Ballet’s ‘Communi cation’. I was more into the ar rangements than the lyrics, but now, hearing this song again after so long, the chorus drew me in. “Communication let me down, and I’m left here, I’m left here again.”

Remember, that was the ‘80s, well before emails, texts, instant messaging and the like. Regard less of the advances in tech nology we’ve had since then, communication is critical when it comes down to interpersonal connection with others, espe cially intimate ones. But what do we do if we are interested in someone in a romantic sense, with all the tools that today’s technologies provide?

Well, the basic premise hasn’t changed much. We still have to approach the person in some way to let them know we’re keen, but what has changed quite rapidly is how

we respond or, perhaps more importantly, do not respond.

It’s the lack of response that is probably the most frustrating thing in the modern dating world. A fairly new term for this behaviour is ‘ghosting’. To ‘ghost’ someone is basically to abruptly cease all communi cation without explanation. In an intimate or dating sense, it’s when someone stops respond ing to messages and disappears altogether without explanation, leaving you hanging with no clue as to why. Sure, rejection stings, but if you had no idea what went wrong it can be extremely painful. That said, al though ghosting sucks it doesn’t have to leave you powerless.

To work out what to do if you’re being ghosted we should start with why people do it. The big thing here is that there’s a strong chance it’s not about you. Sure, you might feel rejected, but the truth is ghosting’s a cop ing mechanism for the ‘ghoster’; it’s a psychological tool to protect themselves, to avoid a difficult situation which might make them look bad because they think they’ll be hurting you.

Another reason could be a good old-fashioned lack of emotional intelligence; maybe they just don’t have the wisdom to know any better. Lack of insight and empathy play a big part in this one. Perhaps they really just don’t have the ability to understand how their actions are hurting you.

Being too busy or stressed is another reason why people ‘ghost’. If one feels stressed it’s often just easier not to deal with the situation, and by the time they get around to addressing it, too much time has passed so they feel there’s no point in saying anything further. This explanation is a harder pill to swallow but there is some truth to it. Further, as difficult as this might seem, some people ghost

because it gives them a sense of power; they feel that it gives them the upper hand. By not responding, they are not giving anything away, holding the cards close so they’re in control.

So, if you’re hearing crickets waiting for that person to respond, here’s some insight into what to do: Assess the relationship with the ghoster. If you’ve known the person for any length of time, like an old friend or relative for example, you’ll have more intel on their personality and whether you can cut them some slack. My brother is super slow getting back to me at times, but I don’t hold that against him, it’s just him. If it’s someone you’ve just met or been chatting with on a dating app, don’t expect too much, keep the bar low so you don’t get disappointed.

There’s nothing wrong with reaching out to someone who might be ghosting you, as you’re better off having a sense of clo sure. Ask them what’s going on, be honest with your questions and put the ball back in their court, but set yourself a time limit. If you haven’t heard back in 48 hours then you probably have your answer. If you still don’t get a reply and feel the need to respond, remember you have a right to tell them how you feel, but keep it short and to the point. Something like, “Before you stopped communi cating, I wish you would’ve told me how you felt. Mutual respect is a two-way street. It hurts to be ghosted. Take care, [insert optional insult]”.

Just like the song, if com munication lets you down, take control and get the power back. Oh, and if you’re the ‘ghoster’, just don’t, it’s a dog act.

Have you got a question? You can get in touch with Jeremy by calling 0400 420 042.

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

Randwick News

It’s December. Let that sink in for a bit!

How did we get here so quickly? Now we’re here, I hope we can all slow down enough to enjoy it. Christmas time in Australia isn’t like what you see in the movies – ours is unique. The sunny days, beach swims, cold prawns and bucket hats – it’s the quintessential Aussie way to spend the summer.

What’s another Aussie way to celebrate Christmas? The Coogee Carols! Now in their 21st year, they’re back after a two-year break due to COVID. If there’s anything better than throwing down a picnic rug and sharing food with friends while listening to carols in a beachside setting, let me know. This event is one that our community enjoys no matter their age and it has been missed. I expect this year will be better than ever – plus the big guy himself might show up if you’re well behaved. Hope to see you there on Sunday 18 December, Goldstein Reserve behind Coogee Beach. To ring in the New Year, the Coogee Sparkles are also back will with a family-friendly fireworks display at 9pm at Coogee Beach. There are great vantage spots all around the City – so head out for a good view to enjoy the show!

With another year coming to a close, I want to say how lucky I feel to be the Mayor of such a wonderful community. I spend a lot of time out and about talking to people and I have to say, Randwick City is something special. The people I get to meet in beautiful places we gather – it’s an absolute privilege. I want to wish you all a happy and healthy summer season and a Merry Christmas. See you round!

Councillor Dylan Parker Mayor of Randwick

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

What’s On

SATURDAY 3 DECEMBER

SOUTH MAROUBRA CHRISTMAS PARTY 2pm – 5pm South Maroubra Village Green cnr Malabar Rd and Meagher Ave

SATURDAY 3 DECEMBER

CAROLS BY THE SEA

6pm – 9pm Grant Reserve Coogee

SUNDAY 4 DECEMBER

CHRISTMAS CAROLS AND STREET PARTY 4.30pm – Street Party, 6pm – Carols St Luke’s Anglican Church cnr Arden and Varna St Clovelly

SUNDAY 18 DECEMBER

COOGEE CAROLS 6.30pm – 8.30pm Goldstein Reserve Coogee

SATURDAY 31 DECEMBER COOGEE SPARKLES 9pm Coogee Beach and surrounds

Randwick Mayor Dylan Parker

Bondi Junction Welcomes Its Latest High-Rise Complex

Bondi Junction locals have finally embraced the controver sial new development on Oxford Street after realising that it will fill the Eastern Suburbs with more dogs and renovation.

The $38 million apartment complex to be constructed at Oxford Street and Nelson Street was initially greeted with fierce opposition, but resi dents changed their tune after Westgate BJ Pty Ltd belatedly explained that it combines the two great loves of the region.

Thanks to the development, paradise on earth will finally become doggy heaven. The tower will bring 1,001 dalma tions to the suburb and nearby Centennial Park, and multiply the number of professional dog walkers who have colonised the wooded area beneath the reservoir.

There is no way rangers will be able to keep this many pooches on leash inside the park, and owners will have claimed yet another public space in the East.

The shadow cast by the tower will also offer pleasant respite for doggy picnics and doggy dates as Sydney summers become dangerously hot in the coming years.

A flurry of furry friends will occupy cafes, beer gardens and other eateries as we battle the next violent strain of the pandemic, and further debate over big and little dog parks will prevent our public officials from discussing any other pertinent issue. Meanwhile, Eastgate will welcome little dogs in all of its shops, and big dogs are invited to do their window shopping at Westfield.

Westgate also explained that construction vehicles will steal the precious parking spots in the Junction, and road closures to rival a royal funeral will fuel First World rants on communi ty Facebook pages.

During the endless months of construction, parents can work from home to the sound of jack hammers, industrial drills and beeping trucks in a desperate

attempt to pay the exorbitant school fees which previously afforded them a few hours of daily solitude.

Best of all though, is the chance to critique the colour scheme, materials and overall aesthetic direction of the tower’s design during dinner parties, school pick-up and play dates, with all the vitriol of a judge on The Block - while secretly cataloguing those fea tures for your next renovation.

Locals were excited to learn that apartment owners will bring another truckload of tradies to pimp their pad the moment it is completed. They were also placated by the knowledge that upon the cutting of the ribbon, Eastern Suburbs residents won’t need to visit the Burj Khalifa, because even its huge aquarium is no match for Clovelly Beach.

Finally, it was entirely remiss of Westgate not to highlight the greatest advantage of the new high-rise tower, which is the chance for locals to acquire yet another investment property.

Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblakewriter.org Photo Archie Tecture

The giant castanet.

Spring Into Summer

After what feels like a very long winter, preceded by a very wet summer, the few warm days we have recently experienced are very welcome. Yet we know there is much more rain to fol low, and it is becoming increas ingly apparent that even in our small Eastern Suburbs nest our environment is under threat. We are buffered here, so far at least, from the worst of the effects of global warming, but we are certainly experiencing directly, and indirectly, many of the consequences of environ mental damage already.

There is just so much that needs to be done to save our en vironment, and while some im portant action has commenced there is a great deal more that must be actioned very soon if we can hope to meet critical targets and literally save our planet. Clearly, we must move as fast as possible to radically reduce greenhouse emissions by moving to renewable energy sources. This includes not only moving from coal to solar and wind but also moving from petrol fuelled cars to hybrids and fully electric vehicles.

It is obvious that not only must we address the damage al ready done to our environment, but we must also ensure that further damage does not occur. The NSW Liberal Coalition Gov ernment plans to raise the walls of the Warragamba Dam as a flood mitigation strategy, result ing in 4,700 hectares of World Heritage listed National Parks and 1,800 hectares of declared Wilderness Areas being forever destroyed. Raising Warragamba Dam will inundate 65 kilo metres of Blue Mountains wild rivers. This is not okay; a Labor government has committed to not allowing it to occur.

Saving our environment is not just a major obligation of government, but also for each one of us. The warmer weather offers us an opportunity to renew our own active con tribution to building a better environment. There is so much that each of us can do. It can start with walking instead of using the car. We can try to leave the lights in our homes off for longer and enjoy the twilight. Why leave a light on in an unoccupied room when

our grandparents did not? If it feels cold, wear a wrap. Eat raw foods - not everything needs to be cooked. Take shorter showers, get used to lower water temperatures, and wash more efficiently (your friends really will not notice). Never use single-use plastics! Pull out the weeds rather than using chem icals. Better still, if they flower, leave them for our bees to enjoy. If we are renovating our homes, leave and nurture our green spaces, and find innovative ways to promote plant and bird life on our balconies, our streets and even our windowsills. By consuming less, recycling and sharing we can all contribute to not only a better environmental future but also reduce our cost of living. What is good for the planet is good for us!

I make no apology for being a ‘bee person’. Bees are part of the biodiversity on which we all depend for our survival and we cannot live without them. Bees are one of the world’s most important pollinators for food crops, with an estimated one out of every three bites we consume depending upon pollination. The importance of bees for human survival cannot be overstated and we all need to be concerned that bee popula tions continue to decline due to the use of pesticides and other environmental factors including climate change. With the help of Gavin Smith from the Sydney Bee Club and my sister Bridget, I will soon be splitting a native beehive at my family home to relocate it in the Randwick Community Garden.

Bees need flowers, and I have assembled small packets of bee-friendly seeds for you to collect from my electoral office in Frenchmans Road, Rand wick. Please drop in and collect a packet or two and do your bit to make our environment just a little better.

Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Cardi Bee

What's good for the planet is good for us.

Flat Out Fishing for Flathead

As the old adage goes, “There are only three things certain in life; death, taxes and catching fish,” and seeing as I don’t earn enough to pay any tax, all I have to worry about right now is how many fish I can catch before I die. The warming air, the increase in blokes wearing only boardies in the surf and the smell of those weird little jasmine flowers everywhere you walk... I’m frothing harder than a poorly poured Bondi Hotel schooner for some red-hot sum mer fishing. How bloody good is it?!

I’ve been spending the back end of spring bouncing some soft vibes around for dusky flat head. Spring is a known time to target these fish, with arguably an increased chance of con necting with a bigger breeding model. This is a type of fishing

where specific spots or marks aren’t such a big consideration for me. Often I will explore a few bays in one session, pepper ing casts around the area and then moving on in order to maximise the amount of ground I cover. Focusing my efforts in about 3-10 meters of water, over bottom that is a mix of sand, mud and some posidonia weed, is my ideal setting. If I mark some bait on the sounder I’ll usually put in a few more casts in that zone as there is a high chance a feeding flathead will be lingering and ready to willingly attack the lure. In fact, just the other day I had a solid flathead follow my lure all the way to the boat before eating it off the surface in a whopping 7 metres of water. Do you think it wanted it? Don’t be scared to use bigger lures for this type of

fishing, with vibes 50mm-plus and plastics up to and in excess of 5 inches presenting a scoffa ble meal to even the smallest of flathead.

Flatties are an awesome fish on the chew and I’m no stranger to a few flatty tacos as a reward for my efforts. Recently the NSW Department of Primary Industries has introduced a new slot limit for the state that allows you to only take flathead between 36 and 70cms. The idea being that any fish over that size is most likely a breeding fish and should be released. Personally, I will only keep fish up to around the mid50s as even fish in the late 50s and up could be breeders. The exact breeding size of flathead is still a point of contention in the fishing community, so apply your own logic when keeping these fish and never take more than you need.

If chasing flatties isn’t your cup of tea, there is a surplus of Australian salmon cruising the harbour as you read this. Depending on the stage of the tide, the bait will accumulate in certain parts of the harbour with the salmon corralling it to the surface. After a few sessions you will find a pattern where the salmon tend to turn up and it becomes almost impossible to miss them. If you’ve never caught a hard fighting kingfish, these coming months will put you in the best position to do so as large numbers of kings start filling the harbour. Now is the time to get your tackle in order, stocking up on squid jigs, hooks, plastics and leader before every one starts to rinse the stock once the fishing starts to turn on. What are you waiting for? The days are growing longer, the water is warming up, the air is heating up, the fishing is firing up and your excuses are just as quickly running out. Get out there and rip in!

Words and Photo Lewis Kennedy-Hunt

A 2.8 metre flatty caught on a soft vibe.

December 2022 Tide Chart

Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday

New Moon

5 0039 0.45 0707 1.67 1337 0.49 1927 1.37

First Quarter

Full Moon

20 0618 1.63 1248 0.53 1837 1.37 Moons •

Last Quarter

6 0117 0.48 0748 1.73 1425 0.45 2014 1.33

7 0153 0.50 0827 1.77 1507 0.41 2057 1.31

8 • 0229 0.53 0904 1.79 1546 0.40 2138 1.29

9 0304 0.56 0941 1.79 1624 0.40 2218 1.27

11 0418 0.62 1054 1.75 1740 0.44 2337 1.23 12 0458 0.65 1131 1.70 1820 0.48

13 0019 1.21 0541 0.68 1212 1.65 1903 0.51

14 0106 1.20 0628 0.72 1254 1.58 1948 0.54

21 0030 0.46 0705 1.76 1344 0.41 1933 1.38 •

28 0106 1.38 0642 0.53 1307 1.82 1955 0.31

15 0157 1.21 0721 0.75 1342 1.51 2036 0.55

22 0116 0.44 0753 1.88 1437 0.30 2030 1.39 •

29 0204 1.39 0745 0.59 1403 1.67 2046 0.39

10 0341 0.59 1016 1.78 1701 0.41 2258 1.25

23 • 0206 0.43 0843 1.98 1530 0.21 2125 1.40 •

16 • 0253 1.24 0822 0.78 1434 1.45 2125 0.54

17 0349 1.30 0930 0.77 1534 1.40 2213 0.53

18 0443 1.39 1041 0.73 1637 1.37 2259 0.50 19 0531 1.50 1147 0.65 1738 1.36 2344 0.48

30 • 0303 1.42 0852 0.64 1502 1.51 2137 0.46

31 0401 1.47 1005 0.67 1606 1.38 2226 0.51

25 0350 0.43 1027 2.07 1715 0.15 2314 1.40

24 0257 0.43 0934 2.05 1622 0.16 2219 1.40 Tide Chart Check out what’s on at the Pav

Duck, Pineapple and Green Chilli Spring Rolls

Christmas entertaining was front of mind while I was creating this recipe. If you’re thinking of something more adventurous than an antipasto platter, the fresh ingredients and extra effort that go into making these Asian delights really give them the ‘wow’ fac tor. Sit back and bask in glory as these delicious, summery spring rolls fly off the plate!

Ingredients (makes 20) ½ a Chinese roasted duck from a local Chinese restaurant/take away (you can have them cut it into pieces)

2 small green chillies, very finely diced (with seeds) 1 bunch fresh coriander, leaves and a few stems, finely chopped 3 spring onions, finely sliced 150 gms bean sprouts ½ wombok (Chinese cabbage), finely sliced 3 (1cm thick) slices fresh

pineapple (top, skin and core removed), diced

1 tbs sesame oil ¼ cup light soy sauce 10cm piece fresh ginger, peeled and finely grated 1 large carrot, julienned 1 pkt spring roll pastry (20 sheets - 21.5cm x 21.5cm) from an Asian grocer 2 cups vegetable oil for frying

Dipping sauce

Hoisin (from Asian grocer or Chinese restaurant/take away)

Method

1. Pick the duck meat from the bones (discarding most of the skin) and cut it into small pieces.

2. In a large mixing bowl, add all ingredients except the duck, ginger, coriander and sesame oil. Mix to combine well.

3. In a large fry pan, set to me dium heat, heat sesame oil and

add the ginger. Gently fry and stir for 1 minute, separating the grated ginger.

4. Add the ingredients from the mixing bowl into the pan and cook for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove the pan from the heat, strain the liquid from the mixture and then add the duck and coriander. Mix lightly and set aside.

5. On a clean chopping board, lay out an individual sheet of spring roll pastry. In a bottom corner, place a heaped tablespoon of the spring roll filling onto the pas try. Lifting the corner with your hands, roll the pastry over twice on the diagonal, then fold in the sides one by one, then continue to roll to the end of the pastry (You don’t need any water to make the pastry stick, just wrap firmly). Place the spring roll on a separate board and cover with a tea towel.

6. Wrap the remaining spring rolls and set aside.

7. Heat a large fry pan to me dium heat and add in the veg etable oil. When the oil is hot, gently place a few spring rolls in the pan, without overcrowding them as they cook. Also keep an eye on the oil and if it’s getting too hot, turn it down slightly.

8. Cook each spring roll for approx. 2 minutes on each side or until golden brown and crisp. Remove with a slotted spatula and drain on paper towel.

9. Serve while hot with hoisin dipping sauce on the side.

Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.

Words Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine

Ditch the antipasto.

1. What is pogonophobia an abnormal fear of?

2. Sydney Harbour and its surrounding waterways are known collectively as what?

3. Which U2 album shares its name with a US national park?

4. What is the scientific name for the windpipe?

Supercross

ACROSS

1. The Notebook heart-throb (4,7)

7. Long-haired Swedish tennis star, ... Borg (5)

8. Alternative rock genre (6)

9. A person with out professional or specialised knowledge (6)

10. Acronym for intergovernment organisation (1,1)

12. The top or highest part of something (4)

13. A standard of perfection (5)

15. Uttered at the end of a prayer (4)

18. Chemical element listed as Si on periodic table (7)

19. Classical form of Japanese dance-drama (6)

20. American police TV series (1,1,1,1)

21. A system for transmitting messages (9)

DOWN

1. She created, wrote and starred in Bogan Pride (5,6)

2. A person assisting a priest in a religious service (7)

3. Italian port city (5)

4. A starch ex tracted from the pith of tropical palm stems (4)

5. A genus of herbivorous lizards (6)

6. Protective glasses (7)

11. A bend or twist (7)

14. In the middle of or during (6)

16. A small piece of burning wood (5)

17. Whinnying sound (5)

Trivial Trivia

5. Who coached Lebanon in the recent Rugby League World Cup?

6. Which Russian city has pre viously been called Petrograd and Leningrad?

7. Which tiny Pacific island nation has islands in all four hemispheres?

8. What is the nickname of Argentina’s rugby team?

9. Who, in 2020, was the first man to appear solo on the cover of Vogue magazine?

10. Is a Lagotto a dog breed, a motorcycle, a dance, an Italian man with large testicles, or a type of bird?

Words Lisa Anderson Photo Maggie Lo

Barbarian

Genre Horror Thriller Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador

The ‘horror’ in writer-director Zach Cregger’s (The Whitest Kids U’Know) feature film debut Barbarian is, strangely enough, an innocent victim born out of someone else’s warped deeds. Cregger takes well-worn horror tropes such as deserted streets, abandoned locations and houses with dark, creepy basements and expands on them with his own uniquely twist ed sense of humour, dread and imagination.

When Tess (Georgina Campbell) arrives at her short-term Airbnb rental, she is surprised that the accommodation has been double booked and is occupied by a man named Keith (Bill Skarsgård). Ignoring her gut instinct to hightail it out of there, she accepts Keith’s offer to share the rental house. What begins as a simple mix-up slowly deteriorates into a jaw-dropping roller coaster ride with a bizarre ending.

Barbarian is a film where the less known about it, the better the viewing experience. It may be a simple premise, but it leaves you with plenty to talk about afterwards.

ARCTIC MONKEYS The Car

Label Domino Recording Company Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating 

This may be one of the biggest disappointments of my life. The Arctic Monkeys have gone full Stanley Kubrick and I don’t care for it. The Car felt like catching up with an old friend at the pub and dis covering they don’t drink alcohol anymore and have spent the last two years living in a cave, learning how to exist in silence, and paying thousands of dollars for the experience. You just wanted to smash beers and make fart jokes, but they’re more inter ested in lording they’re spiritual superiority over you, while sipping alkaline water from a clay pot.

LOYLE CARNER hugo

Label EMI Records Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating 

Loyle Carner is one of modern music’s great thinkers, and he has stormed back into form after an underwhelming second album that we will never speak of again. hugo should be renamed Long Life Milk, because it is so good. Carner’s raw honesty, combined with his innate knack for storytelling, transports you to a South London kitchen, on a grey morning, pouring cereal from the box and wonder ing exactly what his father did to him, because he sounds like a prick. These tracks won’t fill up your dance floor, but they will bring joy to your heart.

THE 1975 Being Funny in a Foreign Language

Label Dirty Hit Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating 

I only listened to The 1975 because the lead sing er had a crack at Triple J for not promoting them just after Triple J had... promoted them. It reeked of the kind of unstable, egotistical behaviour that I love in a muso. It’s pretty good. Big ‘80s rock vibe. Like The Killers, but without the grandeur. That might upset the lead singer to read, but come on, mate, you’re not that good. Like my mother always said, you can’t write lyrics refer encing your “boner” - no matter how magnificent it is - and expect people to take you seriously.

Visions Beardy from Hell

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19

Always assume the best inten tions in people. You’ll generally be wrong, but at least you’ll have a positive outlook.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20

It’s no wonder you’ve been feel ing the pinch financially when the only thing that hasn’t gone up lately is your salary.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20

In what could come as quite a confronting epiphany, you’ll sud denly realise that most of your mates are complete dickheads.

Taurus Apr 21-May 21

The only way you’re going to lose weight quickly, now that it’s so close to summer, is the T-Bone and Martini diet.

Gemini May 22-Jun 21

It’s high time you acquired a new skill. You’re in serious need of a decent party trick that no one’s experienced yet.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22

Prioritising your mates’ needs over those of your demanding and ungrateful partner will be well worth the short-term pain.

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22

If you’re not getting in the ocean at least once or twice a week you shouldn’t be living here. Piss off and let someone else enjoy it.

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23

The taxman’s going to catch up with you soon if you keep taking the piss. He’s already got his eye on you.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23

Unconditional love comes across as desperate and weak, so be sure to hold back a bit and attach a few strings.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22

Being miserable is a choice; you’ve got no reason whatsoever not to be happy, so please cheer up, you miser.