Local Photos 34 The Unreliable Guide 36 Headnoise

Subject Reflecting Location Bondi Photographer Sally Wu

Subject Mahon Pool Glow Location Maroubra Photographer Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall

Subject Breakfast Location North Bondi Photographer Sean Grant Subject Beacon of Light Location Vaucluse Photographer Todd Griggs @toddgriggs_

Subject Romance and Fireworks Location Coogee Photographer Steve Peach

Subject Seagulls and Shadows Location Bondi Photographer Sally Wu

Subject King Tide Location Clovelly Photographer Jack Harkin Subject Golden Hour Location Coogee Photographer Frances Beasley

Subject Glassy Location Bronte Photographer Neil Grace Subject Rat Catcher Location Waverley Cemetery Photographer Simon, Otto and Til Schwab

A watched pot never boils.

The Unreliable Guide To... Patience

Words Nat Shepherd Photo Amy Gdalae

If The Unreliable Guide is missing a virtue (clearly untrue, but I have to write about something and I am so bored of COVID, politics and data breaches) then it is patience, “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.” I am impatient. I want everything immediately - results, food, TV episodes, coffee, feedback, refunds, attention... and if I don’t get it, I’m furious. This is clearly a significant failing. Patience is one of the seven virtues for a reason; people need time, space and love to perform their best. Patient people are happier and have better health. So, if you too feel like you’ve been unhelpfully impatient over the busy holiday season, The Unreliable Guide has found some tricks and tips to help us chill out.

Why is Patience a Virtue?

Most of us are impatient about ridiculous things - finding a park, waiting in a coffee line, trying to get a small child to hurry up. Impatient people don’t look good; we’re irritable, distracting and unpleasant. We see these tiny ‘issues’ as more important than they are and there’s a biological reason for this: amygdalae, a set of nervous tissue in our brains. Amygdalae recognise threats and regulate our emotions, readying us for fight or flight. Trouble is, our brains were designed to deal with ferocious predators, and they can badly overact when faced with small irritations. That’s why many philosophers and all the major religions promote patience, most notably Buddhism, where ‘patience’ means not only enduring a difficult situation but making sure we don’t “return harm”. For Buddhists, there are three essential aspects of patience: gentle forbearance, calm endurance of hardship, and acceptance of the truth. In practice, this means: I accept the coffee shop is busy, I will wait calmly for my latté, which I don’t really need anyway, or, I can see that other driver is stressed, I can wait for someone else to let me cross this junction, another minute or two won’t make any difference to my trip. That all sounds good in theory, but how can we ever hope to become so saintly?

How to Be More Patient

Fortunately, scientists have been working on practical ways for us to learn to be more patient. While Krishnan and Sitaraman’s 2012 study showed internet users losing patience in just two seconds while waiting for their chosen video to start playing, a leading researcher on patience, Sarah A. Schnitker, from Baylor University, suggests we can train our minds to be more patient. She suggests we use “cognitive reappraisal”, which sounds fancy, but it just means thinking about situations differently. First, recognise what situations trigger your impatience, and what you’re telling yourself about that event. That forces you to take a step back and interrupt the stress response cycle - keeping you from fight-orflight mode. She also suggests we think about how crap we appear to others when we’re being impatient. Focusing on integrity and poise “will make it a whole lot easier to stick with practising patience on a daily basis”. But don’t expect results immediately. We have to “train, not try, for patience”. Like running a marathon, one sprint for the bus won’t help. And set achievable aims for your day. That way, a five-minute wait for the next bus won’t seem like a disaster.

Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests that as the world gets faster and faster, and less and less tolerant, being patient enough to give each other a bit of time and space to function might be the only solution. And patience has its rewards, as Michelangelo allegedly said, “Genius is eternal patience.”

Mayor's Message

Sydney WorldPride

The countdown is on to Sydney WorldPride 2023 (17 Feb to 5 March), a once-in-alifetime global festival encompassing the much-loved annual events of Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras, plus many never seen before events. Sydney WorldPride, which has been branded as a state significant event, will be the first to be held in the southern hemisphere and will celebrate our LGBTQIA+ community and showcase the beautiful diversity of Australia and the Asia-Pacific region. On Saturday 4 March, Bondi will be hosting one of the key Sydney WorldPride events, the Bondi Beach Party, from 3pm –10pm, with performances by Nicole Scherzinger and an allAustralian DJ line-up. Sydney WorldPride is working closely with NSW Government, Waverley Council, NSW Police, Transport for NSW and other government stakeholders to deliver this event to minimise impacts on residents, businesses and road users. Another local event is The Air is Electric photography exhibition – presented as part of Sydney WorldPride’s curated artistic program – in partnership with the Australian Queer Archives and Waverley Council at Bondi Pavilion Gallery from 10 February to 26 March. Waverley Council is presenting more performing arts and community events at the Pav and Waverley Library as part of Pride Amplified. Details: sydneyworldpride.com Bondi Junction Cycleway and Streetscape Upgrade

At time of print, we were busy planning the community opening celebration of the Bondi Junction Cycleway which links Oxford Street, Syd Enfield Drive and Bondi Road to Centennial Park. The final section of cycleway along Oxford Street, west of St James Road, became operational in December and up to 6000 trips are being made along the route each week. The Bondi Junction Cycleway and Streetscape Upgrade is a priority project of the Council’s Complete Streets plan to enhance the vibrancy of the Bondi Junction CBD,

making it a more beautiful place to live, visit and do business. Details about the cycleway opening celebration will be announced soon online.

Float to Survive

We’re continuing to promote the Float to Survive message with Randwick City Council to help reduce drownings in Australia. Our Float to Survive pilot water safety campaign promotes floating as the best chance of survival for swimmers who get into trouble in the water and is being delivered in partnership with the University of NSW Beach Safety Research Group this summer. See the beaches section of our website for an instructional video on how to Float to Survive. However, don’t forget to always swim between the flags. Bondi Pavilion

The Pav continues to delight this summer with exciting live events and activities and the much-anticipated arrival of our café and dining tenants Glory Days, Bondi Promenade and Surfish. Find new events each week at the What’s On page at bondipavilion.com.au. A reminder that the Bondi Pavilion Welcome Centre is open seven days a week.

Paula Masselos

Mayor of Waverley

Cash is no longer king.

Does It Really Matter?

Words Jeremy Ireland Photo Pat Cash

A colleague of mine recently went to one of those poké bowl places on the main strip of Bondi to buy some lunch. I was one in a group of six people doing a job in the area and it was decided that, rather than all of us going our own separate ways to get something to eat, we’d settle on one or two places close by and have someone do the lunch run for us. I didn’t get too involved as I’d brought my own feed, but upon my colleague’s return I’d learnt that this particular poké place had a long queue consisting mainly of scantily clad customers absorbed in posting selfies on Instagram. What really got my attention, however, was that this joint didn’t accept cash.

Before I go off on a rant showing my age, there is quite a bit to unpack in this little scenario. Did the quality of the food warrant the length of the queue? Was there something everyone in that queue knew that we didn’t? Was the pressure of FOMO so great that one felt compelled to join that queue? Most importantly, once you were at the front of the line, did you really think the guy at the counter gave two f*cks that you only had a $50 note on you?

Essentially, what it boils down to is choice and, perhaps more importantly, why we make that choice. It’s a major theme in Mark Manson’s book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Yes, I’ve mentioned this book before, but as it has now been made into a movie, I’ve pulled it off the bookshelf and put it into my ‘read again’ pile.

So, what would you do if you have decided to get in line, only to find you couldn’t pay? Well, you might be inclined to get angry and have a go at the young kid behind the counter. You might think, “I’m trying to pay you, what is wrong with this place?” and indeed you may be right, but remember, it’s how we respond to the situation that is the key. Is there any point in shooting the messenger here? Despite the kid not really caring, they’re just following shop policy made by someone higher up the managerial chain. If we were to take a leaf out of Manson’s book, he would say we need to learn how to lose and let go; that a little disappointment is okay and even necessary. Instead of getting angry or perhaps worried that the scantily clad, Insta-obsessed millennial behind you might be rolling their eyes, if we were to care a little less and just walk away and not give so much of a f*ck, the sense of relief can be quite liberating.

Now, there’s a big difference between feeling liberated by caring a little less about things and not caring about anything or anyone at all. If we don’t care or give a shit about anything and become apathetic and indifferent about everything we run the risk of being emotionally dead, where everything means nothing. Learning to be comfortable with being different, rather than indifferent, is the key, and stops the risk of one becoming uninterested, uninspired and even cynical.

Ask yourself, “Does it really matter?” If we are getting caught up with caring too much about trivial stuff that inconveniences us, like having to buy regular milk because Harris Farm ran out of A2, that your partner put E10 in the Range Rover rather than 98 or, God forbid, you can’t have your poké bowl because you only have cash, then it might be time to reassess and care a little less.

If we care too much about what someone else says or does, remember it’s practically impossible to change them but it is possible to change ourselves. At the end of the day, we really only have the power to control what we do, not what we want others to do. If this means caring a little less than maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

So, instead of getting worked up over not being able have a poké bowl because you’ve only got a pineapple on you, may I suggest going to the joint next door and getting the sushi that’s made on site with love (not pre-made in a factory and scooped from a barrel). I’m sure they’ll be happy with the cash as well.

Jeremy Ireland is a local psychotherapist. Have you got a question? You can get in touch with Jeremy by calling 0400 420 042.

Randwick News

The New Year is well and truly upon us! I hope everyone had a chance to enjoy the summer holidays and silly season with friends and family. As we settle into a new year, I wanted to take the opportunity to share some exciting projects in the pipeline for 2023. First up, we began construction on the Matraville Youth and Cultural Hall in January, which will be a 14-month-long project. The rebuild project will transform the current underutilised hall into a space the community has asked for. The new facility will feature a community hall and an adjoining covered outdoor space, a new kitchen, accessible facilities and bicycle racks, as well as a number of new sustainability features like solar panels and rainwater tanks. The plaza at Meeks Street, Kingsford is coming along and should be complete by mid-2023. The project will provide the area with a new streetscape upgrade, underground power, new landscaping, and a carpark upgrade. The opening of the Heffron Centre in Maroubra in the coming months will be a huge celebration for our community. The facilities include a new community sports centre and gymnastics centre as well as the new home for the South Sydney Rabbitohs. We are close to completing the amenities at Paine Reserve, Randwick. We’ve upgraded this building with new accessible amenities, a storage room for sporting clubs, and a changing room for players and referees. We’ve also been working on two outdoor gyms that feature new equipment catering to all fitness levels. The newly completed gyms are located at Barwon Park in Matraville and Snape Park, in Maroubra. These projects are just a snapshot of some of what’s on the cards for 2023.

Councillor Dylan Parker

Mayor of Randwick Randwick Mayor Dylan Parker

What’s On

EVERY FRIDAY YOUR SUSTAINABLE HOME

1.30pm-4pm Randwick Community Centre 27 Munda Street, Randwick

TUESDAY 7 FEBRUARY SMALL STEPS WORKSHOP: SUPPORT YOUR ANXIOUS CHILD TO RETURN TO SCHOOL

Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Parade, Maroubra

SATURDAY 11 FEBRUARY MARINE DREAM IN BOTANY BAY – SUE LIU EXHIBITION OPENS

The Bayview Gallery, La Perouse Museum 1542 Anzac Parade, La Perouse

SATURDAY 18 FEBRUARY RANDWICK PRIDE AT COOGEE BEACH 2023

2pm-6pm Coogee Beach Rainbow Walkway