The Beast - June 2015 by The Beast

Beast the

THE MONTHLY MAGAZINE FOR SYDNEY'S BEACHES OF THE EAST • JUNE 2015

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Welcome to June 2015... A Most Momentous Month Words Dan & James Hutton Picture Jayne Goodman

elcome to the June 2015 edition of The Beast – the monthly magazine for Sydney’s Beaches of the East. I remember in the early days of The Beast we used to quietly celebrate milestones: our first mag, our first year, the first time we paid our printing bill on time (that hasn't actually happened yet), etc. While we never got too excited, we certainly cracked a beer to commemorate just how far we’d come. These days, while every edition is an achievement, the milestones don’t really seem to mean as much. We made it to 100 editions and marched through the ten-year mark, but hardly made a fuss. Thus, it is only now when penning this introductory note that I have realised that this is our 125th

edition, which seems momentous enough and is probably at least worthy of a mention, if not blowing the froth off one or two. Why not, eh?

Enough of the trumpet blowing though, it’s been an interesting month or so in the Eastern Suburbs since the last edition of The Beast was delivered. Of particular note was the fifty-year storm, which hit with a force not seen since the inception of this publication, and didn’t it do some damage. I must commend the

local councils for the exceptional job they did in cleaning up the mess quickly and efficiently, and also give thanks to the emergency service crews who helped keep everyone safe and relatively dry. On the cover this month is Maroubra ironwoman Tara Coleman. The daughter of South Sydney Rabbitohs legend Craig ‘Tugger’ Coleman relocated to the Gold Coast a few years back, but she still calls the big smoke home and she recently threw her hat in the ring as an ambassador for the inaugural Barnardos Beach Bolt, which be held at Coogee on June 14. As always, there’s plenty of other good stuff inside the mag this month, so we hope you enjoy reading the June 2015 edition of The Beast. Cheers, Dan & James

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Contents June 2015 • Issue 125

8 11 12 14 20 22 24 24 26 27 47 50

Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Letters Local Bloke Local Chick Thumbs Dogs Local News Beastpop I Beastpop II Calendar

51 52 58 60 61 62 64 66 68 70 72 74

Local Tradies Interview Sports Bits Rupert’s Rant Beastpop III The Naked Truth Trippin’ With Todd Local Photos I Local Wildlife Enviro News Travel Bug This Sporting Life

76 78 80 82 84 86 87 88 90 96 98 98

Fish ‘n’ Tips Tide Chart Street Style Sexy Time Local Photos II Reviews Arts Bits Bandage Food & Wine Beast Brainteasers Beardy From Hell Trivia Solutions

It only happens once a year, but local photographer Jeremy Piggin was there to capture it in all its glory.

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If You’ve Got It, Flaunt It Words Pearl Bullivant Picture Ferdinand Porsche

othing gets my blood pressure boiling more than the sight of a Porsche Cayenne: those ugly, omnipresent, aesthetically displeasing vehicles that bear down on the narrow streets of the Eastern Suburbs; the oxygen thieves of the motor vehicle world (with the black RR Vogue coming a close second) most commonly commandeered by a VIP tosser in a Ralph Lauren logoed shirt with mobile at ear and perhaps a latte in the other hand. And what’s even more grotesque than a Porsche Cayenne is a Porsche Cayenne brandishing the personalised number plates PORCYN just to reinforce that the car is actually a Porsche Cayenne and hence the owner must be of some import. It’s not just the Cayenne that gets me riled up. The Bugaboo pram (Pearl awaits the triple Bugaboo now that large families are yet another sign of wealth), anything bearing Louis Vuitton (especially when paired with gym attire), Lululemon clothing, designer baby gear, and anything described as ‘must have’: all overt signs of wealth displayed in a way that destroys any psychological benefit bestowed upon me by reading Ekhart Tolle’s 'The Power of Now' and attempting to let it all wash over me. When I was a child, my mother told me that wealthy people didn’t need to show off their money. But wealth wasn’t doing the rounds in my mother’s hometown of Port Adelaide and I’ve been living amongst The Educated and Affluent for so long that I know her adage isn’t

12 The Beast | June 2015

true. As such, I’ve decided to devote this month’s column to exploring overt displays of wealth and the Eastern Suburbs ‘lifestyle’. Ideally, I’d love readers to explain why it is necessary to indulge in unlimited, conspicuous consumption, why it is necessary to place it on public display and why the Range Rover has gone from being a ‘want’ to a ‘need’, high on the pinnacle of Maslow’s hierarchy? Is it the exhilaration of superiority, the constant reminder of one’s enormous spending power and importance, or both? I also want to come to grips with ‘wealth flaunting’ as a hereditary trait, passed down to pink princesses and bully brat sons, who verbalise their wealth through taunts and bragging and Babolat tennis racquets and $200 soccer boots. My great-nephews, who attend a private school (a wonderful source of column material) regale me with tales of nine-year-olds boasting, “When I was skiing in Colorado,” while sizing up the cost of their peers’ tennis racquets, soccer boots and running shoes. Who would have thought that a house with an elevator in it and a parent with a Maserati are the latest ‘must haves’ for a fourthgrader? Maybe Pearl is just being unkind to The Affluent (as usual). ‘Tribes’ are the in thing, so maybe wealthy people are part of a ‘tribe’, like hipsters who I have chosen to ignore because I like beards. Hipsters have beards, tatts, skinny jeans, fixies; The Affluent have Lululemon, LV and RRs. Maybe I need to live with it and live in the NOW!

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The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Sent in by The people of the Eastern Suburbs

LADY BOY DRAMAS IN THAILAND Dear Beast, There is an old homily that states, "A problem shared is a problem halved". Well, last winter I went to Thailand for a holiday and ended up with a lady boy in my hotel room. In retrospect, I should have asked her to throw a tennis ball overarm across the road before inviting her in. Jacob Haigh, Tamarama BOARD RIDERS NEED TO GET USED TO FLAGS Dear Editors, The Bronte lifeguards are probably fulfilling their job description keeping boards out of the flagged area at the beach, and potentially keeping Council's insurance claims down. As a local ward councillor, I have received complaints through summer from swimmers and body surfers that board riders have been going through the back of the swimming area; the flagged area. As of the April 2015 council meeting, there will be a lifeguard at Bronte all year round, which means that there is the possibility of flags all year; a change we will all have to get used to. Councillor Ingrid Strewe, Labor Waverley Ward GOOD WORK PARKING OFFICER, YOU CHAMP Dear Beast, Just a short note to express my thanks to the very vigilant and thorough parking officer who fined me this morning for overstaying my payment time by four minutes. The

14 The Beast | June 2015

$104 fine was certainly deserved. I am very much looking forward to my next outing up to Bronte Road to support the local businesses. Keep up the great work. Aaron Stiffenson, Bondi ABUSE ON BOUNDARY STREET Regarding 'Abuse on Boundary Street' in May’s edition of The Beast, surely a couple with a young child deserves footpath priority. There’s a simple solution Jo-Anne: take an extra step to the left and you would be out of harm’s way. Craig Wilde, Queens Park

As of the April 2015 council meeting, there will be a lifeguard at Bronte all year round, which means that there is the possibility of flags all year; a change we will all have to get used to. BRONTE BEACH 'ANONYMOUS' IS SELFISH Dear Editor, ‘Anonymous’ in the May Letters complains that a lifeguard at Bronte “determined to puff his chest out” directed board riders not to surf between the flags. In doing so he greatly exaggerated the distance of the board riders from the beach.

Lifeguards have the difficult and responsible task of placing the flags in the safest area for those not riding boards; if that happens to be where the board riders prefer to surf, it is unfortunate. Should the lifeguards fail to keep boards out of that area, they and the council would be liable to be sued for negligence should an accident result. The beach is not only for those who ride fibreglass-coated boards with dangerously sharp fins. Kids on bodyboards, body surfers and swimmers are entitled to enjoy the area designated for themselves without being intimidated by board riders who have the luxury of uninterrupted use of Bronte Reef and, usually, Tamarama. Some board riders seem to enjoy intimidating young bodyboarders and body surfers; others are unskilled and incapable of controlling their boards; then there are those who won’t use leg ropes. These factors add to the need for lifeguards to be vigilant in their protective role. If, as asserted by ‘Anonymous’, there were few swimmers in the water, it is likely that the intimidating presence of board riders between the flags was a deterrent to those who wished to use the flagged area or permit their kids to do so. I, for one, take exception to personal criticism of the lifeguard being made behind a veil of anonymity. It is obvious that the lifeguard was doing his job under the difficult circumstances of trying to control an uncooperative and selfish group, who thought they had an overriding right to the whole beach. Greg Maidment, Bronte HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR BODYSURFERS Dear Anonymous, For a local who uses the beach often, you display the classic 'I am a surfer, so everyone else can go' attitude. Many bodysurfers will often not go out if board riders are in between the flags, as it puts us in danger from selfish board riders who apparently don’t care if they put others’ lives at risk. The only temerity displayed in your exchange with the lifeguard was from you objecting to this guy just doing his job. The rule

is no boards between the flags. This is to protect swimmers from idiots on boards who can and do slash and chop with abandon. He wasn’t puffing out his chest; he was bravely doing his job in the face of people who don’t understand very basic rules. The flagged area on Bronte is rarely more than 20 metres wide and you have the whole rest of the beach. You are a local with no respect for the rules or other beachgoers’ right to swim safely. Common sense is obeying the rules, which are put there for the safety of all beachgoers, and listening to the employees that are looking out for the public’s safety. It is dreadful that you were inconvenienced and had to miss “the best peak”, as it happened to break in the area designated for swimmers. Ralph Stern

Common sense is obeying the rules, which are put there for the safety of all beachgoers, and listening to the employees that are looking out for the public’s safety. GROW UP YOU ILLEGAL DOWNLOADERS Hi Guys, Just when I thought The Beast was growing up, it sticks out a downy paw and with an adolescent whine gives a ‘Thumbs Up’ to illegal movie and TV downloads. I thought you knew your readers better. Hundreds, probably thousands, of Eastern Beaches residents depend on the film and television industry for a livelihood, and that industry depends on returns from box office sales, DVDs and legal downloads to provide the funds to continue to develop and produce programs. These people are your friends, your neighbours and the ones you interact with every day. The waitress who brings your coffee has spent three years at NIDA and is waiting and waiting for her next part. The guy who

16 The Beast | June 2015

takes your online wine order is a writer with a film in development for the last four years. One of your removalists is an out-of-work actor. Your kids go to school with the children of producers, directors, cinematographers, editors, sound recordists and actors. An illegal download steals money from all of them. A movie can be downloaded legally for less than the price of a cocktail at The Bucket List, breakfast at Three Blue Ducks or a pizza at Da Orazio (all good, by the way). And many seasons of Game of Thrones can be downloaded for way less than those $200 sneakers from The Iconic. Two recent Australian independent films were cruelly affected by illegal downloads – Little Deaths and Wyrmwood. Illegal downloads in the hundreds of thousands cut deeply into returns of these films, both made by local Sydney producers, with an all-local cast and crew. If the next step for the Bondi Hipsters is to make a film, are you going to recommend your readers steal from them as well? It's particularly disappointing to see The Beast taking this position when film and TV people yes, including the wonderful Bondi Hipsters - feature so prominently on the covers and in the interviews and stories. If The Beast genuinely wants to support and celebrate the local creative community, then a fair return for their work is reasonable, and legal. Sandra Alexander SERIOUSLY FUNNY SEX ARTICLE The May article about sex and the elderly was a serious article. I laughed like a drain at the photo caption and photographer. Matthew, Coogee GIVE US A FAIR DINKUM REFERENDUM Let’s get fair dinkum. If the government was ‘fair dinkum’ about honesty, transparency and democracy in relation to forced amalgamations, we would be having fully costed, substantiated and intensive facts presented, and a referendum. What we have is a community saying “we don’t want it” and a council that is saying “it’s not in our best interests”. Councils all over the state are setting them-

selves to ‘take on’ the State Government on this. Fit for the Future? How about Fit Up of Australians’ Local Government and Democratic Foothold of Representation? We want our referendum premier, so you can take this forced, push-polled, non-democratic developers’ right of way away. Margaret, Maroubra STOP STEALING OUR MONEY FOR TOILETS In regard to Randwick Council wanting to build more toilets (at Coogee), we already have toilets and change rooms 50 yards away from where they want to build new ones. The council already had another toilet block on the northern part of the beach, which they destroyed instead of fixing. They then wanted to build a concrete monstrosity there, but there was uproar. They decided to build a war memorial with another million dollars. They also built these stupid planter boxes on Coogee Bay Road and Neptune Street that look like funeral plots. Some were dug up and moved. We, the ratepayers and most people I speak to, don’t want this crap. But according to council surveys, yes we need them. Well, be prepared for another rate rise. The people making these decisions don’t even live here. What a joke; the squander of our money never will stop. Con Veneris, Coogee

Well, be prepared for another rate rise. The people making these decisions don’t even live here. What a joke; the squander of our money never will stop. STOP IGNORING STOP SIGNS Hi Beasts, I have been noticing a worrying trend lately: increasing numbers of drivers are ignoring ‘Stop’ signs and it does not matter what age the driver is. When did stop cease meaning stop? You can’t rely on a driver/vehicle stopping; they are

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I would just like to have the certainty that used to go with the rule when I am driving through an intersection, rather than second guessing whether or not a vehicle may or may not stop.

place you’re going wrong is that you’re wasting too much time telling young girls not to get raped. I mean, never having been a young girl myself, I don’t understand the ‘desire’ to be raped, as you brilliantly put it. I mean, if these pesky girls just stop trying to get raped then we’d have none of the issues you're fighting for or against (as I’m not really sure what your message is)… but I digress. The point of this email was to offer assistance, and if the only aim of the game is to reduce the amount of convicted rapists, then I have the solution for you! At the end of the email is a list of convicted sexual offenders in our area. I was wondering if you could write a reference for all the rapists currently in prison so that we may shorten their sentences? I understand that you may not know their grandparents as well as Luke’s, but they committed similar acts and were obviously lured in unexpectedly by some evil, rape-obsessed female. Thanks again for your efforts in keeping those ruining rape-sponges in line. It’s high time somebody stood up for the real victims here: unsuspecting men who were just trying to have a nice night out in the alley trying to enter through the back door. Kurt Raso, Bondi Junction

THANKS SALLY, FOR YOUR EFFORTS WITH RAPE-SPONGES Dear Sally (Betts), I’m writing to you today for two reasons: one is to say ‘thank you’ and the other is a suggestion I have to reduce the amount of convicted rapists. Firstly, thank you for keeping young Mr Lazarus’ stay in a correctional facility minimal. I agree with you that women these days are too obsessed with trying to be raped and I really appreciate the message you’re sending to the young girls and young boys of Waverley, and that message is “rape is fine if I know your grandparents”. I might add that this is the suburb I was lucky enough to be born and raised in and people like you make me thankful I wasn’t born in some pro-victim suburb where you don’t know any of the grandparents. While I somewhat agree with your tough stance on ‘rape-mongering’ females, I do have some critique. Essentially, I think the

BIKE STOLEN WITH A MESSAGE Dear Editor, I’d like to warn readers about bike theft in the Central Station area. I cycle from Randwick to Surry Hills to catch the train and have left my bike in the same place for more than a year. I assumed it was safe on a busy street, outside a pub (The Madison Hotel), under the watchful eye of a CCTV camera. However, when I returned to pick it up on April 24, it was missing. The thieves left my lock lying on the ground, which was cut with bolt cutters, and a note saying, “Now you know what it feels like to have your bike stolen a***hole!!! Hahahahaha”. This sounds like a revenge attack. However, unlike the thieves, I support local businesses and purchased my bike brand new from Centennial Park Cycles. I don’t expect to get the bike back (a light blue Jamis mountain bike if anyone sees it), but please report

not even being treated as a ‘Give Way’ sign. It’s like they actually race through the ‘Stop’ sign to get ahead of you. They are all too busy to get to their destination rather than obey the law. It is about time many drivers started to think of others for a change. I would just like to have the certainty that used to go with the rule when I am driving through an intersection, rather than second guessing whether or not a vehicle may or may not stop. ‘Stop’ signs are placed at particular locations rather than ‘Give Way’ signs for safety reasons. P.S. As the State Government claims it is short on cash, they could raise a motza at any number of ‘Stop’ signs. Geoff O’Rourke, Coogee

18 The Beast | June 2015

them or take a photo if you see these criminals in action. After reporting my incident, I’ve had feedback that bikes are being stolen every week in the Surry Hills and Darlinghurst area. Sophie Hepburn, Randwick

The Beast Publisher The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editors james@thebeast.com.au dan@thebeast.com.au marcus@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au www.thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 61,000 copies of The Beast are distributed every month. 55,500 are placed in mailboxes and 5,500 in local shopfronts. PEFC Certified The Beast is printed on paper sourced from sustainably managed forests and controlled sources. Copyright Apart from any fair dealing for the purpose of private study, research, criticism or review as permitted under the Copyright Act, no part may be reproduced, stored electronically or transmitted in any form by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher. The publisher accepts no liability in the event of any information being incorrect or for any errors or omission. It is not possible for the publisher to ensure that advertisements appearing in this publication comply with the Competition and Consumer Act 2010. Letters To The Editor Please email your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and suburb.

Darren proudly displays his tasty selection of plywood.

Local Bloke... Darren Morgan From Coogee Interview James Hutton Picture Grant Brooks

oogee resident Darren Morgan is part owner of long-standing local business STM Snow Surf Skate in Bondi Junction. Darren shares his local favourites with The Beast… How long have you lived here? I was born and bred in the Eastern Suburbs, so 40-odd years. What's your favourite beach? Without a doubt, Clovelly. Nothing beats Cloey on a high tide. It’s safe, good for the kids and great for snorkelling.   What's your favourite eatery? At the moment I would say Cheung Sing BBQ House at Maroubra Junction. Where do you like to have a drink? In the past it would've been the Clovelly Hotel or any of the drinking holes along Bondi Beach. At present I would say my mate Robbo’s backyard.

20 The Beast | June 2015

Do you have a favourite sporting team? The Roosters when it comes to league and the Waratahs in rugby. What music are you into at the moment? I am pretty much into all types of music, except the repetitive techno stuff.    Who is your favourite person? My wife and my daughters. They remind me of a simpler time in life.   What do you get up to on the weekends? I play golf once a week and I try to surf whenever there are waves on my days off. During winter, Saturday is a netball day with both my girls playing. During summer we get down to the beach.   What do you do for work? I’m a part owner of a retail store called STM Snow Surf Skate in Bondi Junction. We specialise in

snow sports - both skiing and snowboarding - as well as skateboarding and surfing. What's your favourite thing about work? In some way I think I am contributing to the enjoyment that our customers experience when they are on their ski/ snowboarding holiday. I have a say in the equipment that they purchase. The right equipment leads to a more enjoyable, fulfilling and rewarding holiday. Do you have a favourite quote? My dad would always say “a leopard cannot change its spots”. Although I believe people can change their ways and attitude, I think deep down you are who you are. Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Keep it simple. Try to slow down a little and enjoy the moment; we're all too busy these days.

Madeline will ensure your child doesn't have to become a chef.

Local Chick... Madeline Mitchell From Bronte Interview James Hutton Picture Grant Brooks

ronte resident Madeline Mitchell owns her own tutoring and education centre in Bondi Junction, and loves the outdoors. Madeline shares her local favourites with The Beast… How long have you lived here? I’ve lived in Sydney my entire life and I have lived in Bronte for almost three years. I couldn’t dream of living anywhere else. What's your favourite beach? Bronte, of course. It has a stunning beach, awesome park and barbecue area, a rock pool for a couple of laps and cafes to choose from.

Bucket List, Porch and Parlour, and Beach Burrito (love Mexican!) are a few of my favourites. Do you have a favourite sporting team? I know I’m in Roosters territory, but ‘Go the Bunnies!’ What music are you into at the moment? All things retro. I have a few favourites on my record player at the moment. I think Bruce Springsteen was on last, or maybe it was The Stones. Who is your favourite person? My hubby. He is an inspiration and so much fun to be around.

What's your favourite eatery? The Three Blue Ducks. It’s just down the road and has such amazing food and coffee. The staff are lovely and up for a chat.

What do you get up to on the weekends? I teach on Saturday and try to enjoy the local area as much as possible. There’s plenty of beach time, walking to Bondi and visiting the markets.

Where do you like to have a drink? In summer, anywhere outdoors or by the beach. The

What do you do for work? I own my tutoring and education centre in Bondi Junction, ‘Hi iQ’.

22 The Beast | June 2015

I’ve set up my dream classroom based on my teaching experiences. The centre specialises in literacy and numeracy, and caters for all children from kids about to start kindergarten through to children in year six. What's your favourite thing about work? That I love going to work. Seeing the results that the children are getting and their excitement about coming, even on a Saturday. I love using modern resources and technology to help stimulate each child’s learning. Do you have a favourite quote? “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes, then learn how to do it later.” - Richard Branson Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Try to always do what you love doing and surround yourself with people who make you feel happy.

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Banjo Age 2 years Sex Male Breed Border Collie x Cattle Dog

Weight 15.7kg

A wheelie sandy wheelie bin, by Andrew Worssam.

Thumbs Up THE CLEAN-UP EFFORT – Congratulations to the local councils on their swift clean-up after the late April storms - a job well done. CIVILIAN CRIME FIGHTING – Great to see the power of people bring down a dog-napper and thwart a café thief during the month. ICE SKATING – The rink is back at Bondi from June 20 to July 12. It’ll be situated out the front of the Bondi Pavilion again. Tickets are selling fast. ENVIRONMENT - World Environment Day on June 5 is the most globally celebrated day for positive environmental action. Visit www.unep.org. WINTER SUN – How we love the winter sun; warm on your back but won’t burn you to buggery, and a sight to behold when it rises over the ocean.

Banjo is a happy, friendly little boy with a puppyish nature. He is very social with other dogs and is super playful. He also walks nicely on a loose lead. He loves being patted and ignores passing cars. He is happy walking past other dogs and does not pull on the lead. He has a short coat and weighs 15.7kg. He comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. His adoption cost is $350. For further details, give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email monika@doggierescue.com or visit the website at www.doggierescue.com.

Gene Age 2 years Sex Male Breed Chihuahua x

Weight 4.5kg

Gene is a sweet natured, gentle little boy, but he is still getting the hang of walking and being out and about. He walks reasonably well on loose lead but is a bit scared of cars. He is affectionate and enjoys pats and cuddles and is fine to be picked up by strangers. He has a smooth coat and weighs 4.5kg. He comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. His adoption cost is $350. For further details, give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email monika@doggierescue.com or visit the website at www.doggierescue.com.

Thumbs Down CRAZY AUTUMN STORMS – The recent wild storms were up there with the most destructive we’ve seen in a bloody long time. Scary. THIEVES – To the Gertrude & Alice money thief, the Bondi Junction dog thief and to the scumbags who steal surfboard racks: die. LEAKY WINDOWS – Did anyone else find out the hard (and damp) way that their windows aren’t particularly well sealed last month? CONJUNCTIVITIS – While not particularly painful or even all that irritating, conjunctivitis definitely ain’t aesthetically pleasing. BIN NIGHT AMNESIA – Why do we forget about bin night until it's too late and the overflowing red bin has to fester for another stinking week?

24 The Beast | June 2015

Maple Age 2 years Sex Female Breed Staffy x

Weight 17.7kg Maple is an affectionate, sweet girl, but she needs the company of another dog she likes or a family. She is an active, strong girl with a gentle, sweet nature. She walks well on loose lead and pays no attention to passing dogs or cars. She has a smooth coat and came from the pound underweight at 17.7kg. She comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Her adoption cost is $400. For further details, give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email monika@doggierescue.com or visit the website at www.doggierescue.com.

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Storm Clean-Up A Credit To Local Councils Words Marcus Braid Picture Waverley Council

he enormous storms seen throughout Sydney’s Eastern Beaches were unprecedented in their ferocity, but they didn’t stop the local councils from quickly cleaning up the mess. Sydney was swamped with severe storms from April 20-22, in addition to further inclement weather throughout the month. Jordan Burrows, licensee and general manager of The Bucket List at Bondi Beach, said the bar couldn’t trade for four days. “We had to stop trading at 3pm on Monday and we opened doors again on Friday,” he said. “We couldn’t even open the front doors because of the speed of the wind. We have quite a lot of water damage through the place.” Mr Burrows paid tribute to Waverley Council, who helped ensure almost 7,000 tonnes of sand was put back on Bondi Beach with the help of four bobcats, four excavators and a bulldozer. “It was awesome,” he said. “The council was straight onto it; literally as soon as the rain cleared, they were straight in with heavy machinery. They did a great job.” A spokesperson for Waverley Council said waves caused minor structural damage to the promenade at the southern end of Bronte Beach, and some damage to large ficus trees near Bronte Road in Bronte Gully. Rod Sen, owner of Barzura at the southern end of Coogee Beach, said Bronte and Coogee copped an unprecedented pounding from the elements. “Right up the back of Bronte Park there were big old trees that have just been split in half by the storm,” he said.

26 The Beast | June 2015

“I’ve never seen anything with the ferocity and the direction. Normally there might even be a little bit of east in it. This was almost south south west and it just blew straight up and took over the beach and deposited it on Beach Street. This was the first time we’ve seen the storm move in that direction.” But Mr Sen said Barzura is positioned in a perfect position to deal with severe storms. “Barzura is an amazing place to go in winter, because of the southerlies,” he said. “We have a ringside seat for storms, and they go straight past the surf club. You can actually still sit outside Barzura on a lot of those days.” A rare species of jellyfish was seen at Wylie’s Baths, which scared the heck out of Mr Sen. “It was dwelling a metre below the surface,” he said. “It sent a lifeguard’s sister into shock and she was hospitalised. It must have blown in from the Cook Islands or somewhere in the deep South Pacific. I’m personally allergic to jellyfish and bluebottles can kill me. The thought of a new jellyfish was terrifying.” A spokesperson for Randwick Council, which did a superb job in the clean-up, estimates the clean-up bill is $250,000 at this stage. “We had dozens of crews working across the city clearing trees, unblocking gutters and drains and making areas safe,” the spokesperson said. “We had 12 machines working on Coogee Beach… to move thousands of tonnes of sand back onto the beach off the promenade and surrounding parks and streets.”

Do you think the local councils did a good job cleaning up after the recent storms? Interview and Pictures Marcus Braid

Clare, Coogee

Brad, Maroubra

I do. I think they did a fantastic job. I live right by the beach and for two full days afterwards there were ten diggers at the beach. It was all sorted two days later.

They did; it’s already cleaned up. I’m impressed and I was definitely surprised. They were the biggest storms for five or ten years.

Danika, Rose Bay

Yeah, around my area there’s nothing I can see that’s been really bad. It all seems really clean. I don’t know about anywhere else. I can say they’ve done a pretty good job in our area.

Marcos, Maroubra

Yeah, they did pretty well. They did a good job and everything was clean after a couple of days. They were big storms.

Matt, Randwick Francine, Coogee

Yeah, I think so. It’s important to take care of security and all of the environmental issues you can have after storms. It was cleaned up straight away.

They did a sensational job. They were onto it fast and they put so many resources into it, which was great. They know it’s a priority to protect the beaches, which are our greatest asset.

June 2015 | The Beast 27

Azza keeps a close watch over his favourite bunker.

Winter Patrol A Welcome Addition At Bronte Words Marcus Braid Picture Grant Brooks

averley Council has introduced winter patrolling of Bronte Beach in the wake of last year’s tragic death at Tamarama Beach. Council approved the extension of lifeguard services to cover winter at Bronte Beach at the April council meeting. Lifeguards will also monitor Tamarama Beach from Bronte and Bondi beaches using CCTV during winter. “Council reviewed risk management practices following the death of a surfer at Tamarama Beach last year,” a Waverley Council spokesperson said. “In response, several improvements were introduced immediately. The lifeguard season was extended by four weeks at Bronte and Tamarama

28 The Beast | June 2015

beaches and the installation of CCTV at Tamarama Beach was brought forward.” Council investigated the prospect of an ambassador or beach inspector role at Bronte and Tamarama beaches in winter months, which has led to the decision to increase services at Bronte to cover winter. Council also reconfirmed the need to build a new lifeguard tower at Bronte Beach this winter. Basil Scaffidi, president of the Bronte Surf Life Saving Club, welcomed the initiatives. “I know there are costs involved, but my personal view is there’s no cost to the life of a human being,” he said. “If there are additional costs involved in looking after two of the most difficult beaches we have in NSW, then I think we’ve

got to do everything we can to find a solution that ensures we have lifeguards full time in winter. That’s certainly the surf club’s position.” But Mr Scaffidi said the notion of surf lifesaving via CCTV cameras was illogical. “The cameras certainly do assist, but you’re not going to convince me that a camera sitting at Bronte or Tamarama being monitored by the guys at Bondi can be as good as having lifeguards at Tamarama or Bronte,” he said. A spokesperson for Council said that once the lifeguards have launched a jet ski, they can reach Tamarama and Bronte beaches in about two to three minutes from Bondi Beach, depending on the conditions. “Our lifeguard service is the best in the world, which is why we have confidence in them responding extremely quickly to any emergency,” the spokesperson said. “Our lifeguards find the cameras to be a useful tool in monitoring our beaches, particularly in winter when, in the past, Bronte and Tamarama have not been staffed. “When incidents are reported to lifeguards they're able to use the cameras instantly to assess or investigate the problem.” Matthew Richell died at Tamarama Beach after he was swept onto rocks while surfing in July last year. “I think it highlights the fact there is a need on these two beaches,” Mr Scaffidi said. “Maybe nothing would have changed, but if we had someone there in the middle of winter, maybe that 15-30 seconds does make a difference. “You can’t stop people going into the ocean. I know one of the arguments is that if people are going to put themselves in that situation, you can’t look after everyone. I take a slightly different view on that. At the end of the day, we’ve got an obligation to the community.”

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Bits & Pieces From Around The Beaches... Words Marcus Braid Picture Jo Emery

NATIONAL WHALE DAY As humpback whales begin their annual migration along Australia’s east coast, IFAW’s National Whale Day highlights the fact that Japan is planning to return to the Southern Ocean to begin whaling again. IFAW’s National Whale Day will be held on Friday, June 26. Help end whaling forever by signing IFAW’s petition to the Japanese Prime Minister, which calls on Japan to withdraw its plans to return to the Southern Ocean. Collect signatures and write a letter to your local MP at www.ifaw. org/australia/our-work/whales/ national-whale-day-australia. TAKE ONE FURTHER STEP ON YOUR JEWISH JOURNEY Limmud-Oz is one of the largest, most dynamic and impactful events in the Jewish community. It is taking place this year at

UNSW from June 6-8. LimmudOz promises that wherever you find yourself, it will take you one step further on your Jewish journey. You are invited to learn, expand your Jewish horizons, connect and be empowered. See the full program online for the Festival of Jewish Ideas at www.limmud-oz.com.au. PUPPY FARMS MUST BE ABOLISHED URGENTLY Greens NSW MP and Spokesperson for Animal Welfare, Dr Mehreen Faruqi MLC, has renewed her calls for the closure and banning of puppy farms in New South Wales, following various disturbing news reports. Dr Faruqi said the latest revelations, which refer to an internal RSPCA report, are just more evidence of the existence of a cruel and barbaric puppy factory industry that is prospering,

Trent enjoys a little grooming from his feathered friend.

unchecked and ignored, in NSW. Dr Faruqi said the puppy farm industry is rife with animal cruelty. If you are looking to buy a dog, please consider adoption and avoid puppy farms. EXPERIENCE CENTENNIAL PARK ON FOUR LEGS Most of us experience Centennial Park at ground level, but on a horse you get to experience the tranquility of the park in quite a unique way. Whether you’ve never been on a horse or have ridden for years, a leisurely ride around Centennial Park is one of Sydney’s must-do experiences. If you are looking to improve your horse skills, sign up to one of the Parklands’ five riding schools that are available to teach both proficient riders and riders-tobe through individual and group lessons. To find out more, visit www.cpequestrian.com.au.

June 2015 | The Beast 31

Lace up your runners and support the cause.

Bolt Together To Banish Child Abuse Words Sarah Healey Picture Barnardos

s Australian of the Year 2015, Victorian mother Rosie Batty poignantly stated in her acceptance speech, “No matter where you live, family violence exists in every pocket of our neighbourhood. It does not discriminate and it is across all sections of our society.” Recent statistics reveal one child dies every two weeks in Australia as a direct result of assault. This silent scourge occurring behind closed doors needs as much exposure as possible to change community attitudes concerning domestic violence towards children. Barnardos Australia has dedicated itself for over 130 years to protecting and caring for defenceless children. They work with families and communities facing various issues such as poverty, violence, substance abuse, homelessness and mental illness. Their goal is to eradicate child abuse and to provide a safe environment for young people to thrive in. If you want to save a child’s life, then get amongst the first-

32 The Beast | June 2015

ever Barnardos Beach Bolt, taking place on Sunday, June 14 at 9am at Coogee Beach. The one-mile race begins at Grant Reserve and competitors will test their endurance levels on the soft sand, power up to Dunningham Reserve, brace themselves for the uphill stairs (which will surely spike those lactate levels in the calves!), then bolt to the finish line. “Barnardos chose Coogee because it has a great family and community feel. It also provides the most incredible backdrop for a race of this type and will showcase the beach in all its beauty during winter,” Barnardos spokesperson Tianji Dickens said. The Beach Bolt is designed to cater for all ages and fitness levels, with the itinerary broken down into: the Elite Race, the 000 Race (where our Emergency Services will fight for the title), the General Race (a walk or run for anyone above the age of ten), and the Mini Bolt (a 50-metre sprint on the sand for kids under ten). A bit of extra training will never go astray, so jump on

their website for a basic training schedule. As lifestyle and fitness regimes dominate most of our lives in the east, the Beach Bolt is the perfect excuse to lace up your runners and support the cause. “So much training is required for longer races and with people’s time being so limited these days due to work and family life, a mile race is the best way to go. I mean, why run a marathon when you can run a mile and still get involved in something so meaningful and rewarding?” Ms Dickens said. Get down there early for a barbecue breakfast, a massage or even to get your face painted. There’ll be loads of prizes up for grabs and an after-race celebration will be held at the Coogee Bay Hotel. Runners are encouraged to be sponsored by friends and family to raise funds for Barnardos’ vital programs. The only way to enter is online. The cost is $20 for children and $40 for adults. For all the details, visit www.beachbolt.com.au.

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W Meriton should be ashamed.

Tiffany Plaza Tenants Terminated Words Marcus Braid Picture Grant Brooks

ine businesses inside Bondi Junction’s Tiffany Plaza have received their termination notices, despite the fact a pending development application (DA) has yet to be approved by Waverley Council. Meriton, Tiffany Plaza’s owner, has submitted a DA for a new childcare centre inside the plaza, which will replace the nine affected businesses. George Nunn, owner of Bondi Hair Crew, was shocked to receive his six months’ termination notice without approval from Council. “My hands are tied and they’ve ruined my life,” he said. “They’re making fools out of us. We were told they have other projects in Parramatta and we’ve got nothing to worry about, and then all of a sudden they give me the termination notice.” Mr Nunn and other business owners are concerned about potential compensation. “My lease is $50,018 and I can’t even sell this business. I’ve lost everything. It’s the same with the other owners. Some of them just want to pack up and give up on business.”

34 The Beast | June 2015

Mr Nunn believes Meriton needs to comply with Fair Trading laws. “We’ve got a relocation clause,” he said. “They haven’t even offered to relocate us anywhere. As soon as I asked them to talk about it, they asked me to get my solicitors to talk to their solicitors. “When they brought me into the centre, they wanted me to spend money to make the shop nice, and now they want to rip it all down.” A spokesperson for Meriton said they had complied with the terms of the lease. “The affected tenants have been notified in accordance with their lease and the Retail Leases Act,” the spokesperson said. Waverley Council confirmed the DA was still under consideration. “Our officers will make recommendations on the application when they have completed reviewing it,” a spokesperson said. “The development application is inside Meriton's property, so we have no control over its tenancy arrangements with shop owners.”

averley Council lifeguards will now be able to communicate important messages about beach conditions using a new voice-tag application for Apple and Android devices. The application is currently being trialled and will be used to communicate safety messages to Bondi Beach swimmers and visitors in different languages. “It’s a voice tag,” Waverley lifeguard Bruce Hopkins said. “I record a message that goes for about 15 seconds and I post it, and take a photo of the beach conditions or whatever I am talking about. That photo then attaches to it, so that when people look at it they see the photo and then listen to my message.” “It’s up and going now, so anyone can get the app.” Mr Hopkins said the messages they put up on the app would vary, depending on the beach conditions. “It’s really important for us,” he said. “We can put up messages about swimming between the flags, or about beach conditions, such as if blue bottles are coming in. “If we need to close the beach due to dangerous conditions, we can get the message out on the app.” The app came to fruition through collaboration between Mr Hopkins and technical experts Michael and Stephen Fenech, using the VoiceByte they designed. “[Michael and Stephen] wanted to design an app where you post a message on it and you have a photo, and it can go within a 500-degree radius,” Mr Hopkins said.

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More Bits & Pieces From Around The Beaches... Words Marcus Braid Picture Paul Culliver

UNITED NATIONS WORLD YOGA DAY United Nations World Yoga Day on June 21 at Bondi Pavilion is an all-day celebration including yoga classes, meditation, talks, stalls, food and fun. The United Nations declared an International Day of Yoga following a call from India's Prime Minister for global recognition of the ancient practice. The 193-member United Nations General Assembly approved by consensus a resolution establishing June 21 as the day to commemorate the popular practice of yoga. Visit www.worldyogaday.com.au for more information. KNOW AN OUTSTANDING NURSE OR MIDWIFE? Member for Coogee Bruce Notley-Smith has called on the community to nominate outstanding local nurses and midwives for the 2015 Excellence in Nursing and Midwifery Awards. Nominations are currently open and close on June 10. Health Minister Jillian Skinner said the NSW Liberals & Nationals Government created the awards to

highlight the incredible work of the 48,000 nurses and midwives who work in the state’s public health system. To nominate, go to www.nursingmidwiferyawards.health.nsw.gov.au. CLEAN WATER FOR NEPAL In light of the recent natural disaster in Nepal, regular Beastreader Laura McNally has set up a birthday campaign through Charity: Water, an organisation dedicated to providing access to clean water to those who so desperately need it. She's asking all of you to donate her birthday age in dollars ($26 - or more if you can!) to this incredibly worthy cause. It costs around $26 to bring clean water to one person in Nepal. The campaign goal is $10,000 – help her smash it by visiting my.charitywater. org/lauras-26th-birthday. MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH FOOD Tamarama girl and media personality Deborah Hutton has written a cookbook, My Love Affair with Food, in which she reveals her passion for entertaining and shares her favourite

recipes and food memories collected over the years. While there are delicious recipes aplenty, My Love Affair with Food also presents a unique insight into the former supermodel’s amazing life. My Love Affair with Food by Deborah Hutton is available from selected newsagents and stores, and at www.magshop.com.au. NEW DUNNIES FOR COOGEE Randwick City Council has developed plans to construct new toilets, showers and change rooms on the lower promenade of Coogee Beach. A development application for the large scale project has been lodged and, if approved, construction could start immediately after the next summer season. The development application proposes constructing 21 new toilets including accessible cubicles, and 12 showers including accessible cubicles with toilet and shower. To view the application, visit Council’s DA Tracker at www.randwick.nsw.gov.au/ planning-and-building/searchdas-development-applications using the reference DA-260/2015.

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Development Needs To Be Constructive Words and Picture Duncan Horscroft

ew development in the Eastern Suburbs has reached mammoth proportions and it’s time the councils started to think about compensation for the long-suffering residents who have to put up with the inconvenience. For a long time now councils have washed their hands of the responsibility of overseeing new projects and have passed the ball to independent certifiers. Councils receive payment from developers for the right to put up hoarding and signage as well as complying with Section 94, which is a contribution plan imposed by councils for the increase in infrastructure such as drainage and gutters, as well as the removal of rubbish and building waste. In the past, councils would provide a Clerk Of Works, who was solely responsible for the standards of all work undertaken. This would include concrete strength, the depth of pipes and cables for electricity, water, gas and telecommunications, as well as the quality of materials used. Nowadays, once a development has been approved the certifier has to tick all the boxes and guarantee the work has met all standards, which, in some cases, has not been satisfactory. In saying that, one local developer assured me the bar has been lifted as far as certification of work is concerned, with more stringent rules now in place because of the amount of dodgy developments in the past. A high percentage of residential rebuilds in the

38 The Beast | June 2015

Eastern Suburbs have been complete knockdowns and neighbours are not only enduring the inconvenience of the noise of tools and losing precious on-street parking spots, they’re all so having to put up with massive earth-moving juggernauts trundling up and down their streets. Development of the old nursing home in Bronte Road is a classic example, with massive doublebogie trucks regularly roaring past the beachfront, churning up the roads and presenting a real danger as they head up the narrow road past Bronte House. Those in the unit complexes bordering this development not only have to put up with the traffic chaos, they also have to deal with the dirt and dust churned up by the ongoing work. Behind the Clovelly School there is a residential development that has been ongoing for around three years and massive trucks have been entering and leaving the narrow street. This has happened during school drop-off times when the street is at its busiest and children have been at risk as these truck endeavour to manoeuvre around tight corners. One local rang Waverley Council to report a truck blocking the road and was told to take it up with the certifier. Aren’t councils responsible for their streets, or do certifiers now have control of traffic movement on public streets as well? Surely it’s time ratepayers living among these construction zones are recompensed for the inconvenience they have suffered.

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Baby Lily Grace Won’t Be Forgotten Words Marcus Braid

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Bondi Community Bands Together To Catch Thief Words Marcus Braid Picture Grant Brooks

ertrude & Alice Café Bookstore owner Jane Turner has paid tribute to the Bondi community for banding together to help catch a thief. A man dressed in a red hoodie, who has since been charged by police, stole shop takings directly off the counter at Gertrude & Alice in late April. “You never really test your customer base, but Bondi has come out with flying colours,” Ms Turner said. “When it does come under question, to know your community is there for you, that’s really what it was about for us.” Ms Turner shared a photo taken from CCTV footage of the thief on Gertrude & Alice’s Facebook page, which was shared more than 4,000 times. “[The thief] looked straight up into the camera,” Ms Turner said. “I put two photos up alongside each other and straight away it just went crazy. There were hundreds and hundreds of comments and all of a sudden I noticed the ‘shares’ happening. “The whole story became

40 The Beast | June 2015

about the community and how it worked together. Russell Crowe even ended up retweeting the whole thing and that started a whole lot of coverage, because he’s got millions of followers. The Bondi Rescue lifeguards did as well, and they’ve got hundreds and thousands of followers on Facebook.” Ms Turner said she was buoyed by the display of community support. “After 15 years you realise you’ve got customer loyalty, but I don’t know if it had ever been tested before,” she said. “For me to have these people and all of the authors that follow us sharing [the post] and saying, ‘Go and buy a book and a coffee from Gertrude & Alice and help them recoup their losses’, I’m very grateful.” Ms Turner is hopeful a similar incident does not happen to another business. “It was never about the money,” she said. “It was about it never happening to another business, especially in winter time when we struggle a bit.”

he tragedy of Baby Lily Grace will never be forgotten and has touched the community to its core. Baby Lily Grace, whose body was found in a shallow grave in the South Maroubra sand dunes in November, was buried after her funeral in April. “It was really moving,” CEO of The Royal Hospital for Women Foundation, Catherine Oates-Smith, said of the funeral. “It was also amazing to see the community, the police and people turn up in support. “The celebrant wrote a poem about Lily Grace, with the theme ‘Did you ever have someone to hold you tight?’ There was not a dry eye in the house.” On April 29 each year, the day of the funeral, Baby Lily Grace Awareness Day will be marked by a pre-dawn service in which candles will be lit and extinguished when the sun rises. “People can have that physical expression of sadness for the loss of either a miscarried child or a child that hasn’t known its parents,” Ms OatesSmith said. The Maroubra Community found hope by rallying together to support The Royal Hospital for Women Foundation Newborn Care Centre, where premature babies and their families receive the highest level of care, treatment and support. “The most up-to-date technology is available within the Newborn Care Centre because of private donations, and it makes a massive difference,” Ms Oates-Smith said. If you would like to donate and leave a message for Baby Lily Grace, you can do so at www.give.everydayhero.com/au/ maroubra-baby.

Even More Bits & Pieces From Around The Beaches... Words Marcus Braid Picture Jayne Goodman

HEALTH WELLBEING AND COMMUNITY EXPO The Health Wellbeing and Community Expo is a community event promoting health, wellbeing and community in whatever form that modality is considered to be. In your quest for a full life, meet people who are passionate about their way of life. Some of the practices exhibiting include yoga, nutrition, healing, travel, Buddhism and talented psychics. There’ll also be a range of quality products on show. Admission is free and it’s on at the Bondi Junction RSL on Sunday, June 7 from 10am to 5pm, but a $5 donation is appreciated. HEY TOSSER! MAKING NSW LEAST LITTERED STATE Bruce Notley-Smith, Member for Coogee, and Gabrielle Upton, Member for Vaucluse, have welcomed the next phase of the NSW Government’s ‘Hey Tosser!’ anti-littering campaign. The campaign involves TV commercials, images and slogans focusing on the public shame of being caught littering. Ms Upton said that changing attitudes and

What's good for the goose...

behaviours towards littering will help achieve NSW's aim to be the least littered state per capita in Australia. The campaign is designed to send a clear message that littering is unacceptable. For more information about the campaign, please visit www.epa.nsw.gov.au/heytosser. VOLUNTEERING AT HOLDSWORTH Holdsworth Community Centre has volunteering opportunities to work with seniors, children and people living with disabilities. This includes helping at playgroup, movie and music sessions, at Gaden, the community café, and on other interesting social activities. Gaden, at 334 Edgecliff Road in Woollahra, has fabulous food prepared by chef Matthew Upton, who is formerly of Trio at Bondi. Call the Holdsworth Community Centre on 9302 3600 for more information. WINTER FUN IN CENTENNIAL PARKLANDS Centennial Parklands winter ‘What’s On’ program is now out. With over 50 events and

activities for kids and adults alike, there is something in the Parklands to keep everyone entertained and moving over the cooler months. Don’t miss the Spotlight Prowls and Astronomy in the Park nights, Ted’s Tree Tour, the park’s new yoga classes, photography workshops and their bumper winter school holiday program for the kids. Find out more at www.centennialparklands.com.au/whatson. LOCAL GIRLS COULD BE NEXT FITNESS STAR Over 180 qualified personal trainers and exercise instructors with powerful fitspo stories recently entered the inaugural Australian Women's Health Next Fitness Star competition to become the 2015 face of PUMA Training. Eastern suburbs locals Lauren Hannaford from Clovelly and Cassey Miller from Bondi have been announced in the top five and will go up against three other finalists from around Australia to win the coveted title, which is announced in July’s issue of Women's Health magazine. Visit www.womenshealthmag.com.au.

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June 2015 | The Beast 43

Nazi roundup of Jews in Budapest, Hungary in October 1944.

Remembering Seventy Years Since The Holocaust Words Marcus Braid Picture Faupel/German Federal Archives

ith the horror of World War II etched in her family’s history, it was on a deep personal level that Waverley Councillor Miriam GuttmanJones commemorated 70 years since the end of the Holocaust. The elapse of 70 years since liberation for the Jewish people was marked in April, and it was a poignant occasion for Ms Guttman-Jones. “Although I was born after the war, the Holocaust really affected my view of the world; I had very little family because of it,” she said. “It’s hard to believe it’s already 70 years. My mother was one of six siblings and she was the only survivor. My father was one of eight siblings and just he and a brother survived. My parents were married at the start of the war and they had a daughter during the war, who was shot at 18 months.” Leopold Guttman, Miriam’s father, grew up in Berlin when Adolf Hitler was starting to take control, and thought it safer to leave Germany. “Since they had a Polish background, they decided to migrate back to Poland,” Ms GuttmanJones said. “In retrospect it wasn’t such a smart decision, but who knew what would happen? “My mother and father were from Kraków in Poland. Both of my parents were at Auschwitz. “Unfortunately my father did not speak much about his experiences in the war. The only things I really knew about him were from my late mother.” Ms Guttman-Jones is a member of the Jewish Board of Deputies, and attends their commemoration services. “Sometimes it’s not easy,” she said. “It’s something I always remember on a very deep and personal level.”

44 The Beast | June 2015

The 70-year anniversary since the liberation of the Jews was commemorated in Sydney at the City Recital Hall at Angel Place on April 15. “I thought the ceremony at Angel Place was excellent. It was well done. It had a lot of emotion without being overly sentimental. I think it’s very important to commemorate something like that.” Waverley Council has three Jewish councillors in Tony Kay, Leon Goltsman and Ms GuttmanJones, representative of the strong Jewish community in the area, with 17 percent of Waverley residents Jewish. “When the chips are down, we band together,” she said. “Like any other community, we have our own divisions. “We’ve got our ultra-Orthodox, we’ve got our Reformed, we’ve got those who see themselves as being culturally Jewish but are not particularly religious. But we all see ourselves as Jews and we’re in this together.” Last year, Ms Guttman-Jones forwarded a motion, supported by Council, to document the post-war Jewish migration to Sydney. The project, called ‘Eat, Pray, Naches’, is now ready to be launched. “Most [post-war Jewish migrants in Sydney] initially settled in Waverley,” she said. “Most of the Holocaust survivors you can count on one hand, but then there’s the second generation such as myself. I was five when I came to this country. I was born in Israel. “I thought it was necessary that we document the story of the post-war Jewish migration to Waverley; Waverley really changed over the years because of this migration.”

We’ve released our draft $163 million Budget and Operational Plan for 2015-16 and I encourage all residents to take a look at the projects we’ve got planned for the coming year. I am pleased to say that the draft budget includes more than $34 million in direct investment for capital works projects, including a record $10.4 million for roads and footpaths. It ensures we continue to deliver exemplary levels of service to our residents while providing quality community facilities and maintaining a debt free position. Some of the highlights for the draft budget include: •

$1.3M for environmental programs in recognition of the Randwick City’s natural environment and outdoor lifestyle

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$5.9M will be invested for further open space upgrades at Heffron Park

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$115,000 for new BBQs and lighting along the Maroubra Beach promenade

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$385,000 on stage one historical restoration of Randwick Town Hall plus inclusion of disability access

You can view the full budget online at www.yoursayrandwick.com. au/budget2016 or view the documents in hard copy at Council’s Administration Building or libraries.

Councillor Ted Seng Mayor of Randwick @randwickmayor

6 June

17 June

27 June

Winter Saturday Sale

Young Adult Writing Group

Rock Around Randwick

9am-4pm Randwick Community Nursery 2B Barker Street, Kingsford

4pm-5:30pm Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Parade, Maroubra

10am-5pm Randwick Town Hall 90 Avoca Street, Randwick

1300 722 542 council@randwick.nsw.gov.au www.randwick.nsw.gov.au PHOTO:LIFEGUARD PATROLLING COOGEE BEACH

Nothing beats getting on the ice.

Ice Magic By The Beach Words Marcus Braid Picture Leigh Perrie/Dalton Wills

s the only beach in Australia to provide a real ice rink, Bondi Beach has proven the place to be for both winter and summer. The ice rink in front of the iconic Bondi Pavilion is back again this year, and for an extra week than last year, from June 20 to July 12. “The rink is more than 500 square metres and it gives visitors a pretty special view of one of the world's most famous beaches,” a spokesperson for Waverley Council said. “There are daily ice-skating lessons for kids, a Pete the Penguin ice-skating aid for younger skaters and daily craft activities rink-side for kids. “There are also shows on the weekends featuring Olympic champions.” The ice rink has been well received since its inception, offering a unique experience by Bondi Beach. Previously the rink was run by an external event organiser, but a temporary ice and roller skating company, Stars on Ice, is now on board to support the ice rink. Last year more than 21,000 ice rink tickets were sold, with an estimated 10,000 spectators also making their way to the ice rink to see their family and friends on the ice. Almost 70 percent of tickets were purchased by people in the Eastern Suburbs, proving the popularity of the ice rink for locals as well as tourists. “These sales exceeded Council and Stars on Ice expectations,” said a Council spokesperson. “But we expect to sell about 30,000 tickets this year because the rink is open for an extra week.”

46 The Beast | June 2015

The ice rink is the centrepiece of a campaign run by Council to draw more visitors to the area in winter. “The Bondi ice rink helps build a sense of community and stimulate and support the local economy during its slower trading months of the year,” the Council spokesperson said. “Businesses requested the ice rink stay open for longer at the end of last year's event – we happily agreed to keep the rink open an extra week this year to help increase business. “The ice rink is a focal point but there are many other attractions and activities for people to enjoy.” Art on the Streets and Music on the Streets will also run during July. The Bondi Ice Rink website will be a portal for all ticket sales. “People can visit and enjoy the coastal walk, art gallery, theatre, skateboard bowl, enjoy a meal at one of the many cafes or restaurants at Bondi Beach, shop, visit the Bondi Farmers Market on Saturdays and Bondi Markets on Sundays, and there are Bondi history walks on Sunday throughout July,” the spokesperson said. Ticket prices have been released, with entry to the ice rink costing $22 for those 14 years and above, while it costs $16 for those 5-13 years and $10 for 2-4 year-olds. A family special deal is on offer, with $65 entry for two adults and two children, or one adult and three kids. Tickets go on sale on May 30 and are available through www.bondiicerink.com.

Are you planning on heading down to the ice rink at Bondi this winter? Interview and Pictures Marcus Braid

Adam, Maroubra

Not me; I think my family will be though. People around here think it’s too busy in Bondi, but in winter it gives you a reason to get down there and it won’t be so busy.

Gabi, North Bondi

I don’t really mind. When it was on the sand it was really beautiful. In front of the pavilion you can’t really have a nice view of it.

Paul, North Bondi

Probably not. I thought it was a good idea when it was on the sand; now that it’s in front of the pavilion it’s not as special. The fact that it was on the sand was pretty remarkable.

Lauren, Randwick

Probably not, because winter is bad enough as it is without being on ice. It’s a good idea; I just personally wouldn’t go.

Stuart, North Bondi We will. We’ve got two kids that use it, so definitely. It’s quite busy, but we got there early last year and it was great. We had my grandson and my two kids.

Luisa, North Bondi

Probably not. It’s just not really my thing. It just looks a bit too hectic, to be honest. It’s nice for the kids and families, but it’s not my cup of tea.

June 2015 | The Beast 47

A twenty dollar note peaks out from its rocky crevice.

Swimming Green Army Words Pascal Geraghty Picture Museum Victoria

ho doesn’t love donning smugglers, rummaging haphazardly in kelp, groping in rocky crevices and probing for precious, prickly whiskers? Free-diving for eastern rock lobsters (Sagmariasus verreauxi) has become a popular pastime enjoyed by the many pseudo hunter-gatherers inhabiting, among other places, Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs. Searching for, finding and snatching your legislated share off the ocean’s floor, armed with nothing but your bare hands, then wrestling the bucking crustaceans back to your patient tinnie, is the pinnacle of satisfaction. So I’m told, anyway, because I’m deadset hopeless at diving for crays. Embarrassingly, I’ve never so much as laid a finger on one underwater, let alone

48 The Beast | June 2015

swaggered in the door lobster in hand. I blame my pathetic breath-hold skills. Rather than dwelling on my failures as a recreational primary producer, I’d like to pay tribute to this humble, astronomically priced beast. Few would know of the epic journey lobsters undertake from birth to becoming the hero of designer foams and complex bisques composed by coke-fuelled chefs in hatted establishments and worshipped by the owners of high-end tastebuds. Sagmariasus verreauxi is the largest species of rock lobster in the world, can live for up to 30 years and is endemic to southeastern Australia and New Zealand. Funnily enough, though, recent genetic research has revealed that our loyal lobsters don’t actually mingle with their

neighbours across the ditch. I can well understand why. They commence life as an unrecognisable, alien-like planktonic form known as a phyllosoma. This weird, wonderful, flat, transparent critter, with long legs and googly eyes, spends up to a year drifting on the ocean currents, being transported far out to sea, hundreds of kilometres offshore. There they metamorphose into a puerulus stage, an exact miniature replica of the adult model. Over the next month, the pueruli change from translucent to dark brown and work their way back to the coast to settle, grow and aggregate amongst the homely brown algal fronds coating shallow, nearshore rocky reefs. Here the juveniles spend their formative years, learning social skills and fighting off hungry fish, sharks, rays and octopuses. As maturity approaches, around 7-8 years of age for females, these seasoned travellers pack their sturdy, green armours and set off once again, this time marching northward. This migration sees most mature lobsters found north of Newcastle, and is coupled with seasonal movements from deeper waters for mating to shallower waters for spawning. Fortunately, there’ll be lobsters on tap for generations to come, and we can tip our hats to local fisheries scientists for this. A crack team of Sydney researchers was successful in helping rebuild the eastern rock lobster population from a much depleted state in the early 1990s to the sustainable, thriving and ever-increasing numbers roaming out there today. So next time you’re gawking at the poor, miserable sods hunched motionless in the aquarium window of your local Chinese restaurant, take a moment to admire this fascinating, intrepid, tireless local creature, and consider diving in to find one for yourself. You couldn’t possibly do any worse than me!

MAYOR‘S MESSAGE Congratulations to the three winners of this year’s Design and Heritage Awards. Rolf Ockert Design won the Design Award for an individual dwelling while Neeson Murcutt Architects won the Design Award for a multiple dwelling. Andrew David Kennedy Pty Ltd and MHN Design Union won the Heritage Award for Adaptive Reuse and there were two commendations to David Boyle Architect and ASA Architects. Council is introducing changes to parking pricing at Bronte, Bondi Beach, and Bondi Junction. Some of the changes in Bronte include: • Trialling a ‘switch off’ of parking meters in Bronte Cutting car park during winter. This trial will run for two winters, to be reviewed late in 2016. • Meter parking on Bronte Road will be reduced from $6.60 to $4 per hour all year round. Some of the changes at Bondi Beach include: • Making on-street meter fees more consistent along Campbell Parade and commercial areas of Bondi Beach – at $4 per hour. • In Queen Elizabeth Drive and Park Drive North car parks, meters will switch off at 10pm (currently midnight), there will be free parking during winter after 7pm and the cost of parking after 7pm over summer will be reduced to $4 per hour. You can learn about all the changes, including those at Bondi Junction, by visiting waverley.nsw.gov.au. I was really pleased that Council unanimously voted not to build a pavilion in the Waverley Cemetery gully or introduce Centennial Park style perimeter fencing. The Cemetery is one of our most important and loved sites and I look forward to working with our community as we plan for its future.

Sally Betts, Mayor of Waverley CUSTOMER SERVICE CENTRE 55 Spring Street, Bondi Junction NSW 2022 PO Box 9, Bondi Junction NSW 1355 PHONE 9369 8000 WEB waverley.nsw.gov.au

Events Waverley Cemetery Historical Tour Saturday 6 June, 10.30am–12.30pm St Thomas Street, Bronte Join our volunteer guide on a walk through history and visit memorials of men and women who helped shape Australia. The cost is $22 per person. Bookings must be secured prior to the tour by calling the cemetery office on 9665 4938.

Dads Read Saturday 20 June (and every Saturday of each month), 10am Waverley Library Stories, songs and movement especially for 0–5 year olds and their male carers.

Bondi Ice Rink 2015 20 June – 12 July, 10am–9pm (Mon–Thurs); and 10am–10pm (Fri and Sat) The Bondi Beach Ice Rink is back. To secure your spot on the ice, please visit bondiicerink.com.

For more event info visit our website waverley.nsw.gov.au

Connect with us:

June 2015 Monday

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CHOOKS TO WEATHER STORM Monday night NRL sees the Roosters host the Melbourne Storm tonight at Allianz Stadium, with kick off at 7pm. The Storm have been generating the momentum seen in years gone by so the Chooks will need to be at their best. Visit www.roosters.com.au.

VIVID LIVE This year’s Vivid Live will feature over 20 performances and more than 120 artists, raising the roof of Sydney Opera House’s theatres, rehearsal spaces, recording studios and, most famously, its iconic sails. Vivid runs until June 8. Visit www.vividsydney.com.

SYDNEY FILM FESTIVAL Experience the red carpet glamour of the festival's biggest night at the State Theatre. Ruben Guthrie, the directorial debut of Brendan Cowell, will be showing. The film starts at 7.30pm and the after party is at Cargo Bar. Visit www.sff.org.au to buy tickets.

GOLD TELETHON Check out Channel 9 today as the Gold Telethon attempts to raise $4.5 million for the Sydney Children’s Hospital, Randwick so that it can buy life-saving equipment, fund research and deliver vital services to help the young patients. Go to www.goldtelethon.org.au.

GRANT RESERVE BUSHCARE Work with Randwick Council's Bushcare Officers on bush regeneration today from 9.30-11.30am. The picturesque site above Coogee Beach and Wylie's Baths needs weeds removed. Visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au or call 9399 0708 for more information.

BECOME A WEAPON AT CHESS This chess club is for children in years 3-6 who want to learn how to play chess. It’s on today from 4-5pm at Margaret Martin Library. The club is also for those who play chess and want to improve their skills. Cost is $12 for four sessions. Call 9314 4888.

RHYMES, STORIES, MUSIC Rhymes, songs, stories and music for children will be taking place at Maroubra’s Bowen Library for babies aged 0-11 months and their parents or carers on Mondays from 11.15am. It’s free but bookings are essential. For more information, call 9314 4888.

WINTER FUN Centennial Parklands winter ‘What’s On’ program is out now. With over 50 events and activities for all kids and adults, there is something in the Parklands to keep you entertained over the cooler months. Visit www.centennialparklands.com.au/whatson.

HIKE AROUND ROSE BAY If you enjoy the outdoors and would like to get fit in a fun, social environment, be part of a new over 50s walking group every Wednesday at Rose Bay from 8.15am. The group departs from Rose Bay Ferry Wharf. Call Kathryn Brooks on 9391 7182.

BOOK BABIES FOR LITTLE ONES Book Babies takes place at Waverley Children’s Library for 0-2 year-olds on Mondays during school term. These sessions aim to introduce your little ones to the joys of language through rhyme, music and story. Please visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au. STABLE YOUR HORSE Own a horse but live near the city and want to save on tolls, petrol and time? The Centennial Parklands Equestrian Centre has a number of high quality stabling facilities available. It is open 365 days a year. Please visit www.cpequestriancentre.com.au.

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THE HALFWAY MARK Can you believe we’re already halfway through 2015? Holy shit! It feels like it was only a few weeks ago that we were eating turkey and unwrapping Christmas gifts and all of a sudden we’re closer to next Christmas than the previous one. Time flies when you’re having fun!

HELP THE NEEDY As part of Coles’ fundraising month for SecondBite, you can make a donation at any Coles store this month. Just $2 will enable them to redistribute enough food to provide five nutritious meals to people in need. Please visit www.secondbite.org.

ROCKING RHYMETIME Rhymetime hits Waverley Children’s Library on Thursdays during school term. There’ll be music, movement and a play storytime session. Rhymetime is for two to three-year-olds and kicks off at 10am. Please visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au.

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THE CAMERAS ARE ROLLING The inaugural SmartFone Flick Fest (SF3), Australia’s only dedicated smartphone film festival for filmmakers of all ages, has officially launched and is now accepting entries. Entries close on August 16. Submissions can be made online at www.sf3.com.au.

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For heaps more local events, just visit...

Concretor Jay Rodney Oceanside Ph: 0411 989 565 Painter Brett Dooley Nielson Dooley Ph: 0404 888 089

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WORLD ENVIRONMENT DAY World Environment Day is the biggest, most globally celebrated day for positive environmental action. Every year, participants organise clean up campaigns, recycling drives, social media campaigns and different contests. Register your activity at www.unep.org.

BONDI FARMERS MARKET Get down to Bondi Beach Public School every Saturday to sample some of the freshest and best produce you could hope to lay your eyes on. There’s a wide range of stallholders to satisfy your every culinary need. Visit www.bondimarkets.com.au.

YOUR JEWISH JOURNEY Limmud-Oz is one of the largest, most dynamic and impactful events in the Jewish community. It is taking place this year at UNSW from June 6-8. You are invited to learn, expand your Jewish horizons, connect and be empowered. Visit www.limmud-oz.com.au.

FOOD ADDICTS ANONYMOUS Are you having a hard time controlling the way you eat? Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) meetings are held every Friday at 10am at the Salvation Army Hall, Boyce Road, Maroubra. Call Maria on 0410 566 724 or visit www.foodaddicts.org.

RANDWICK VERSUS UNI Randwick takes on Shute Shield heavyweights Sydney University today at Coogee Oval. Enjoy the Galloping Greens’ running rugby and the club’s hospitality while supporting this young group of up-and-coming rugby stars. Visit www.randwickrugby.com.au.

BARNARDOS BEACH BOLT The first-ever Barnardos Beach Bolt is on today at 9am at Coogee. The one-mile race begins at Grant Reserve, heads along the soft sand, then weaves its way along the footpath up to Dunningham Reserve, before a bolt to the finish line. Visit www.beachbolt.com.au.

WAYS TO HAVE FUN WAYS Youth Services’ after-school program is laden with exciting activities for kids and teens. There are acting lessons every Friday from 5.30-7pm for $10. WAYS also has a fully equipped music studio available to use. Call 9365 2500 or visit www.ways.org.au.

THE ICE RINK RETURNS Australia’s only beachfront ice rink will return to Bondi from June 20 until July 12 this year. The ice rink will again be situated in front of the iconic Bondi Pavilion. Tickets go on sale on May 30 and are available through www.bondiicerink.com. Be quick!

WORLD YOGA DAY United Nations World Yoga Day is celebrated today at the Bondi Pavilion. This all-day celebration includes yoga classes, meditation, talks, stalls, food and fun. The UN declared the day of yoga following a call from India's Prime Minister. Visit www.worldyogaday.com.au.

NATIONAL WHALE DAY IFAW’s National Whale Day highlights the fact that Japan is planning to return to the Southern Ocean to begin whaling again. Collect signatures and write a letter to your local MP at www.ifaw. org/australia/our-work/whales/ national-whale-day-australia.

ROCK AROUND RANDWICK Remember the 1950s when rockabilly and rock and roll were king? Randwick Town Hall will boast more than 20 dealers selling vintage and retro clothing, jewellery, accessories, collectables, vinyl and homewares today. Visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

ROOSTERS HOST TITANS The Sydney Roosters will hope it is a Sunday afternoon picnic at Allianz Stadium today when they host the Gold Coast Titans, with kick off at 2pm. The Chooks are heavily favoured to take home the points. For tickets and info, visit www.roosters.com.au.

Fencing David Skene Jim’s Fencing Ph: 0415 401 587 Building Design Todd Maguire Design Solutions Ph: 0405 617 428 Rubbish Removal Dave Whiteley Dave's Rubbish Ph: 0401 296 069 Mechanic Jordan Hayman JH Automotive Ph: 0424 144 987 Plumber Matt Scott Surfside Plumbing Ph: 0450 391 734 BBQ Caterer Wardy Wardy & Sons Ph: 0414 293 396 Cleaner Sarah Callan Exec Home Office Ph: 0414 510 275 Plumber Luke Fletcher Pipe Up Plumbing Ph: 0431 638 558 Locksmith Bradley Rope SOS Locksmiths Ph: 0498 767 767 Electrician Adrian Langen Langen Electrical Ph: 0400 006 008 Arborist Jeff Hunt Prompt Trees Ph: 0412 280 338

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Handyman Cristian The Handyman Ph: 0467 484 459

...www.thebeast.com.au/events-guide

TARA COLEMAN

I STILL CALL MAROUBRA HOME Interview Dan Hutton Photography Andrew Goldie

Where are you originally from? I'm originally from Rosebery, but the beach I call home is Maroubra Beach. How long have you been a member of the surf club there? I started surf lifesaving when I was 12. I did a couple of years at South Maroubra and then I joined Maroubra when I was about 17. Three seasons ago I made the decision to go up to North Burleigh and train up there. I still remain a member at Maroubra and do my patrols here though. Why did you make the move up to the Gold Coast? A lot of the top girls and top guys in my sport are from the Gold Coast now. Some of them are from NSW, but they all made the change to go up there and I thought, ‘I only have one shot at this’. I don't want to finish my career and be like, ‘Oh, I could have gone to Queensland’. I thought I should give it a shot and go up there, and train with the likes of Liz Pluimers and Brodie Moir. Are the facilities up there better? Yeah, I guess. The facilities are good for my swimming and the weather in winter is much warmer. You want to train. I've done plenty of years down in Sydney in the winter and it’s much easier to stay motivated up north. What do you love about the Eastern Suburbs? Firstly, I love that my family and all my friends are here. All my friends from school and my whole family live in the Eastern Suburbs. I think the Eastern Suburbs has the best beaches in Australia too. I've travelled around Australia racing and I have to say that our coastline is the best. Do you have a favourite beach? Maroubra Beach.

Is there anything that gets your goat about the Eastern Suburbs? There are a lot of people here now. When I was younger, I didn't really go out as much, but it seems like there are so many more people in Sydney now. How do your family and friends feel about you leaving Sydney and moving up to the Gold Coast? They're all really supportive, but I think deep down they do miss me. They do come up and visit, and I come to Sydney quite a lot. They want the best for me. What about your surf club pals; were they annoyed that you decided to pull on the colours of a different club? No, Maroubra was very supportive with the move. They just want to see me reach my full potential. I still do my patrols at Maroubra, and I’ve been doing that for nearly ten years. It’s actually this year that I get my long service. Both of your parents were elite sports people: your dad played and coached for the South Sydney Rabbitohs and your mum was an Australian touch player; was it always your dream to follow in their footsteps and make a career in sport? Yeah, when I was younger I did some swimming, running, cross country and netball, but then it came time to choose. I only started surf lifesaving when I was 12. Usually with surf lifesaving you start as a really young nipper at the age of six, so I had a lot of skills to develop because I didn't start when I was really young. I didn't make the professional series until I was about 19. Are you quite small compared to the other ironwomen? I'm extremely small. They tower over me, but my dad always says it's not how big you are, it's what's inside you.

How much time do you spend on the Gold Coast compared to down here? We start training in June and it finishes in April, so I usually spend the six-week off-season in Sydney and the rest of the time on the Gold Coast, besides the weekends when I come to Sydney for patrols or racing, or when I'm travelling Australia racing for the Kellogg’s Series. Can you tell us more about the Kellogg’s Series? This season of the Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Series coming up is going to consist of 18 men and 18 women from around Australia. This year I don't have to do the trial, which is the first time I’ve been in that situation. I've always had to do the trial, so I train the whole of winter and then do a trial around September. I actually got an automatic qualification this time around, which I'm so happy about. Out of the 18 competitors, where do you see yourself finishing? I'd love to get an automatic qualification again and I'd like to make the podium this year. I'm 24 turning 25, so I really need to step up and actually try to get a podium, and get in the top eight again to automatically qualify. Have you had a podium before? I actually had a podium in my first Kellogg’s Series event. I got a third at Coolum, but that's the only podium I've had. There was only one foot of swell and I remember my handler Darren Schott telling me there was this point tip on Coolum at the surf club. He said to aim for that in the swim; if any wave was to come through that's where I’d get it. I was swimming in and one little wave popped up and that just changed the whole race. They were really long runs at that stage, so there was about a 400

June 2015 | The Beast 53

to 800-metre run at the end. I ran past a couple girls on the sand and beat one of my best friends over the line for third spot. Do you feel like you're getting closer to getting regular podiums? I'd like to think so. Last year was the best result I've ever had. I got tenth in the series and I got a sixth place in one event. I would like to keep getting more of those and hopefully crack the podium. Did your parents instil some important lessons in you at a young age that have helped you in your career? Yeah, they're really supportive. They've shown me the way and taught me that when things get tough, don’t give up. Never give up. Keep banging on the door because one day that door will open. Two years ago I missed out on getting into the series and I was the next reserve. I was devastated. Mum and Dad just said to keep training because you never know what could happen. Unfortunately Hayley Bateup had to pull out and it was fortunate for me that I was the next in line, so I got her spot. How many seasons have you done now? I've done five years already with Kellogg’s Series and this 2015-16 season will be my sixth. How old were you when you decided to really pursue it as a career? I was probably around 17 when I thought I really liked the sport and I started getting a few more decent results than what I had in the past. One of my coaches back then said to me, “We're just going to put you in the trial, see how you go, get a few years’ experience and then in a couple of years you'll be in the series.” He was correct. I guess it wasn’t until I entered the Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain trials when I was younger that I thought, ‘This is what I really want to do; I want to be in this series’. How long do you see your career going for? When do ironwomen retire? It’s funny you say that because some girls who are racing now are 30 and the girls at the top of our sport are around 28, so I still have a few years to go.

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Do you have to hold down another job or have you got enough money coming in through sponsorship to allow you to train full-time? Sponsors are everything in our sport. Without sponsors I wouldn't be able to do the Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Series or the sport in general. I do have a job though, with Surf Lifesaving Queensland in their community awareness program. We go around to schools and talk to them about surf safety and where to swim when they come to the beach. We also take surf groups down to the beach, like multicultural groups that come over from overseas, and teach them about surf safety.

I'm extremely small. They tower over me, but my dad always says it's not how big you are, it's what's inside you. Is it expensive to compete in the Kellogg’s Series? Yeah it is expensive to compete in the Kellogg’s Series as we travel to all different beaches around Australia. What have you had to overcome to get where you are now? I haven't had any serious injuries that have set me back. The whole thing of going to the Gold Coast has been hard. Some days I'm like, ‘Oh, crap, is it really worth it?’ I really miss my family as well. Thankfully I've got a lot of new friends up there and there's also a family up there that I'm lucky to live with. They took me in and let me live in their house. What has been your biggest accomplishment thus far? I think staying in the series. That’s obviously a lot of girls' goal in surf lifesaving, to be in the Kellogg’s Series, and also to do well at the Australian titles and the Coolangatta Gold. Everyone wants to win the Coolangatta Gold and everyone wants to win an Aussie medal. What’s your best result at the Aussies and Coolangatta Gold? At the Coolangatta Gold, my best is a fifth. At the Aussies, which

just finished a couple of weeks ago, I was lucky enough to get a gold medal in the board relay and a third in a taplin relay with my two teammates. There's no better feeling than winning a gold medal with your teammates, and that was the second year in a row that we won the board relay. What are your goals for the 201516 season? I want to make the automatic qualification for the Kellogg’s Series again, which I think will be the top eight. If I do the Coolangatta Gold, which I'm not too sure about yet, top five in that would be great. Top three would be even better, but it’ll be a very tough field. I'd like to podium and be in the Australian Open Ironwoman final next year too. What are your biggest strengths as an athlete? I guess I have a lot of willpower and determination. I would also say I don’t like to give up; I fight to the end. One time at the Aussies I knocked my two front teeth out. I was paddling over a wave on a ski and knocked my teeth straight out. I finished that race off and I did the next race. People asked, “Are you crazy? What are you doing?” I said, “They're not bleeding; I want to finish these races.” What do you struggle with most when competing? When I was younger I used to get really nervous while competing. Over the years I have had a lot more experience so I think that’s why I don’t get as nervous anymore. What’s your training program like? We train from Monday to Saturday; I swim five mornings a week, which starts at 5.30am in the pool. I then either go to a gym session or a run session, and then I come back to the beach in the afternoon for a craft session. Our Saturday mornings are our biggest session, then we get the rest of the weekend off unless we have carnivals on. How many hours a week do you train? More than 20 hours, I reckon. How many kilometres would you do in a pool session? Our swim sessions can average between

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do. I'm from Maroubra and I'd love to come back and help the kids from my home beach.

Do you have an eating plan as well as a training schedule? While training and racing I tend to eat the same foods day in, day out.

What's the best advice you've been given and what advice would you give to young athletes trying to get to where you are today? Definitely never give up. Just keep knocking on that door. You might think you’re never going to get there, and I used to think the same thing, but my parents always told me to just keep going at it and one day you'll eventually knock that wall down and you will be there. Just keep training away, stay dedicated and believe in yourself.

Do you ever get on the booze after an event? No, I don’t drink alcohol. I have actually never had a drop of it! Are there any other girls in the series that don't drink? I’m not too sure. Growing up did you have any other interesting talents, sporting or otherwise? I used to play quite a few sports when I was younger. I used to do netball, basketball, athletics, cross country, swimming and Oztag, but at the end of the day I couldn't keep doing all those sports.

One time at the Aussies I knocked my two front teeth out. I was paddling over a wave on a ski and knocked my teeth straight out. I finished that race off and I did the next race. People asked, “Are you crazy? What are you doing?” What will you do when your ironwoman career comes to an end? Do you have a back-up plan? That's a really good question. I actually don't really know what I would like to do. I guess I'd like to help people, whether it be coming back as a coach or something else. I found that a lot of people put a lot of time into me when I was young and I feel like I need to give back somehow. Do you see yourself back at Maroubra Surf Club one day helping out down there? Hopefully in a few years’ time or when I retire, if I come back to Sydney, that's obviously what I'd like to

56 The Beast | June 2015

I assume you're a Bunnies fan? I love South Sydney. How did you celebrate the grand final win last year? Dad said, "If they make the grand final, we're going to go." I was up on the Gold Coast at that stage training for the Kellogg’s Series and I didn't want to miss too many sessions, but then I thought, ‘No, I've got to go to the grand final’. My dad and his mates all went and we had a little box. It was one of the best nights I've ever had, to see the Bunnies win the grand final. Oh, it was awesome! Is your old man still involved with the club? He goes to all the functions but he doesn't do any coaching anymore. I have a younger brother, Liam, who is now coming up through the ranks and he's in the under 20s at Souths. I go and watch him play whenever I can. Did your old man party after the win? He did, actually. We walked out of the stadium and everyone was yelling out ‘Tugger Coleman’, and then they chaired him out of the stadium. He played for the Bunnies years ago and they chaired him out! Do you support any charities? I’m an ambassador for Barnardos. They have the Barnardos Beach Bolt run coming up on June 14 at Coogee Beach and I’m getting right behind that. Are you competing in the event? Yes, I will be. It's a one-mile run, from the south to the north end

of Coogee. It’s run from the track up near Wylie’s Baths, along the sand and up the hill to the finish line at Dunningham Reserve. How did you become involved with Barnardos? Pete Wilson from Barnardos emailed me and said, “I'm running the Beach Bolt down at Coogee. You're a local girl; I'm wondering if you would be able to help out and be an ambassador?” I said, “Sure, why not?” It's a really good charity and I’m more than happy to support it and run in the event. What can you tell us about Barnardos? They're one of Australia's leading child protection charities. Every kid deserves to come from a stable and loving home. I'm fortunate enough that I had a great upbringing and I don't see why every other child shouldn't be brought up the way I was. The Beach Bolt event in Coogee will be an opportunity for all the community to come together, not only for a great day out at the beach, but also to raise awareness and funds for a very worthy charity that supports children and families in need. Do you have a favourite ironman? I'd have to say Kane Heussner. Who are your sponsors? Rival Swimwear, Body Science, Dolphin Surf Craft, McGrath Real Estate, Surfside Plumbing, Clovelly Hotel, East Gardens Fruit Centre, Erskineville-Alexandria Bowling Club, PSG Holdings, Benchmark Physiotherapy Rosebery, STM Snow, Surf & Skate, the Randwick Club, TJ’s Cleaning Service, Surf Life Physio Gold Coast, Ford Civil Constructions and Command 51. Do you have any favourite local haunts? I like to go to The Hub at Coogee Beach; it's just opened up and it’s so good. In an ideal world what does the future hold for Tara Coleman? I'd like to get to the top of my sport and I'd obviously love to win a round of the Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Series. I would also like to find a career that I enjoy and I love waking up to, and have a healthy and happy family.

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MAKE STADIUM STOMP YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE Stadium Stomp returns to Sydney on July 26 in an epic stair climbing challenge involving not one but two big sporting stadiums, the Sydney Cricket Ground (SCG) and Allianz Stadium right next door. Climb your way up, down and around the bays of these two amazing stadiums in an awesome 6,300-stair climb. There will be rest stops, drink stations and music playing to keep you focused and pumped. It really is a unique and fun fitness event. Register now at www.stadiumstomp.com.au/SCG. CHOOKS HOST STORM AND TITANS The Sydney Roosters have a critical month of football ahead of them in June. Hit by State of Origin absences, they’ll need to find a way to win. Monday night NRL sees the Chooks host the Melbourne Storm on June 1 at Allianz Stadium, with kick-off at 7pm. The Roosters will then hope it is a Sunday afternoon picnic at Allianz Stadium on June 28 when they host the Gold Coast Titans, with kick-off at 2pm. Visit www.roosters.com.au.

CITY MILE DASH The Cancer Council City Mile Dash is a 1.6-kilometre lunchtime speed race held within Barangaroo Point for city workers to settle corporate rivalries. 30 percent of cancers are preventable through a healthy lifestyle including daily exercise, and being active will not only help people reduce their own cancer risk, it can also raise funds to help beat the disease. The City Mile Dash will take place on Friday, June 26 at 1pm. Please visit www.citymiledash.com.au. MUSCLES FOR MUSCLES Teams of CrossFitters taking on a gruelling 12-hour row relay to raise funds for FSH Muscular Dystrophy? That’s just one of the things happening at CrossFit Bondi’s Muscles for Muscles Open Day on Saturday, June 27. The Bondi community can support this great event by heading to CrossFit Bondi at 31 Newland Street, Bondi Junction on the day and buying a raffle ticket. Everyone is invited to sponsor a team via the Everyday Hero supporter page at https://give.everydayhero.com/au/XFBFundraiser. The day kicks off at 5.30am.

Bondi Beach and the Pacific Ocean from a completely different angle.

MAROUBRA SEALS WINTER SWIMMING SEASON STARTS Maroubra Seals Winter Swimming Club’s aim is to be as good a competitive and social club as possible. With a program that suits any adult swimmer and their kids who can swim 30 metres or more, the club aims to encourage people to stay active. The age range of their current swimmers is eight to 88 years old. It is by no means an exclusive club, except that adult members need to be members of the Seals Community and Sports Club at a cost of $11 per annum. GALLOPING GREENS AND BEASTIES HOST UNI Randwick has started the season off strongly in club rugby, but the Galloping Greens will be targeting June as a crucial month to continue their momentum. Both Eastern Suburbs teams will tackle the might of Sydney University in June, with Randwick hosting Uni at Coogee Oval on June 13, and Easts taking on the same foe at Woollahra Oval on June 20. First grade matches kick off at 3.15pm. Visit www.nswrugby.com.au for more information on fixtures and times.

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June 2015 | The Beast 59

Justin's magic touch has changed Coogee forever; not a bad effort really.

The Battle Of The Beaches Words Rupert Truscott-Hughes Picture Rebecca Gibbs

t is a long held belief that Bondi, despite its grime, is the centre of style and sophistication in the Eastern Beaches, while Coogee is, at best, its daggy cousin. Given that I spend a lot of my time in Scum Valley and very little of it down south, I tend to agree with this notion. Lately, though, a number of associates of mine have been singing the praises of Coogee, claiming that its cool new establishments, calm waters, family friendly facilities and more affordable house prices have made it the place to be. Many people will point a finger directly at the ‘Hemmes Effect’ when reflecting on the rise of this once ridiculed suburb, but well before Justin Hemmes flung open the doors to the bottom level of his stylish Pavilion project, Coogee was going through somewhat of a transition. Features more commonly associated with the fad-addled Bondi such as community gardens and weekend yard sales

60 The Beast | June 2015

began popping up many moons ago, and businesses that had once flourished thanks to the demographic of backpackers, boozers and beachgoers were beginning to disappear, replaced by organic cafes, Mexican cantinas and cold-pressed juice bars. Fans of the suburb argue that the calm waters of Coogee created by the swell-blocking Wedding Cake Island give the suburb an almost Mediterranean feel - at least that’s what the real estate agents would have you believe – and the picturesque Wylie’s Baths has been billed by many as a more beautiful Icebergs and without all the wankers. Another key ingredient to Coogee’s ascendancy is the fact that it is still actually a great little ‘community’, rather than just a series of cliques posturing as a community, proclaiming to have a ‘community feel’ but somehow missing the mark. Knowing the first name of your over-priced butcher does not a community make.

Families absolutely love Coogee too, and while I don’t have any rugrats of my own, there does seem to be a greater feeling of space and a more relaxed pace down that way. Even without a family, there couldn’t be many more relaxed places than the beer garden at the Coogee Bay Hotel on a Sunday afternoon. Of course the reason most people rate a certain suburb highly is the fact that they can afford to live there when they might struggle to do so somewhere else. Thus they are forced to make the most of their lesser surrounds. Those who failed to secure a property in Bondi before the seventeenth consecutive ‘boom’ have to settle somewhere, after all. It is quite clear that the battle for Eastern Suburbs supremacy is getting more competitive; it is certainly no longer a one-horse race. Bondi has long held the lead unchallenged but these days Coogee is definitely making a play for the title. Will Coogee ever be as cool as Bondi? Probably not, but is that such a bad thing?

Bondi versus Coogee: which suburb is better and why? Interview and Pictures Marcus Braid

Geoffrey, Bondi

Bondi. Coogee seems a bit rough to me. It’s cheaper, so you tend to get people who earn less money. There’s more mucking around and less business activity.

Bianca, Randwick

Coogee, because it’s not so busy and it’s my local. Bondi is too packed. I don’t dislike Bondi; I just prefer Coogee.

Roman, Bondi

Bondi. The vibe is better. It’s a bit more cosmopolitan. There are a lot of tourists, which can be an annoying thing, but it adds more pluses than minuses.

Hayley, Coogee

Coogee, because the beach is a lot nicer. I live here and it’s easy to get to the beach.

Emma, Coogee

I prefer Coogee. I’ve lived at both and I find Coogee more family-orientated and I have a young family. It’s perfect for us. It’s a bit more relaxed and a bit less intense.

Tim, Coogee

I don’t know. It’s nice here in Coogee. I haven’t been to Bondi for years. Coogee is just relaxed.

June 2015 | The Beast 61

Da Vinci's portrait of William Shakepeare, shortly after he finished writing the Bible in 1217.

Getting A Way Without Words Words Elizabeth Major Picture Lady Macbeth

t some point in my earliest years of existence, I became a logophile. I fell in love with words and felt the need to collect them, to care for them and get to know them. I read every single word that I could possibly get my hands on and especially loved the ones I didn’t understand. As I got older I started to explore the strange and unusual ones that had fallen out of everyday vernacular and now find myself indulging in the occasional trawl through the English language in search of the next mot du jour. With a widening vocabulary gap between socio-economic groups, teenagers butchering whole sentences into letters and the emergence of predictive text technology, many people are losing touch with the art of eloquence. An average native English speaker may know as little as 20,000 different words and only use about 800 of those a day. A more educated person may be aware of more than twice as many and still only use 1,000 words a day. At what point did words become so cumbersome that people felt the need to condense an apology to ‘soz’? In praise of the art of intellectual bombast, let’s read words, even if it is only one per day. There is a Word of the Day app for those who do not read a dictionary for fun (I’m told this is not common practice). If nothing else, you could at least have the opportunity to offend people without them realising. Why not be histrionic in speech just for fun?

62 The Beast | June 2015

How else can we comment on the apricity of this time of year if we relegate our musings on weather to merely ‘cold and sunny’? It would certainly make the badinage a bit more entertaining. The world would be a better place if we called a woman a baffona instead of telling her she had a slight moustache. You could comment on the shape of the yonic mussels at the dinner table without offending your mother-in-law by saying the word vagina. You can blame your obsessive nose-picking on rhinotillexomania, or you can let your ex-boyfriend down gently by using the word exiguous instead of small. Of course, nobody will know what you are talking about and you could possibly lose friends, who may be more than a little piqued by your perspicacity. Herein lies the anathema to my love affair with the written word. It turns out that most people don’t like the intimidation factor of using sesquipedalian words. The words are dismissed, the true meaning is limited to the common vocabulary and loquacity is replaced by a three-letter acronym intended to convey laughter and ridicule. The hegemony wins by maintaining the veil of nescience over the masses and we never get to feel the accomplishment of completing a crossword without using Google. At least when you are isolated by your own intelligence you can find a sequestered place in the world of fiction where you can be taken away with words.

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June 2015 | The Beast 63

Clever advertising by the world's largest corporation - personally though, I would prefer the Eros Center.

The Twisted Hypocrisy Words Todd Maguire Picture David Lee Roth

he Honourable Justice Ian Gregory was at the end of his tether. He had worked in the justice system for over 30 years but had never seen a case with such mockery for the system. As the judge prepared to address the courtroom he took a good look around, shook his head in disgust and adjusted his glasses. The buxom local madame to the stars, Dianne ‘Boobs’ Falcon, had spent the last six months greasing the hands of the local politicians. She was finally given approval to construct a brothel in a quiet part of the local neighbourhood. There was a mixed response in the community. A minority were in support as prostitution was one of the oldest businesses going around, but the Catholic Church directly across the road was dead set against the blasphemous house of sin. The church conducted morning, afternoon and evening prayer gatherings, asking the good Lord for assistance and divine intervention. This campaign went on for three months whilst tradesmen happily refurbished the vacant building. Boobs Falcon was paying cash, top dollar, so the workers were more than happy to put in plenty of overtime on the work site. Maybe there would be an added bonus at the end of it all. With the refurbishment well ahead of schedule, the nearby church continued to offer up prayers with an ever-expanding congregation. Two weeks before the grand opening, a violent storm erupted and the near-completed brothel was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. The faithful

64 The Beast | June 2015

congregation cheered, dancing and singing in the street and bragging about 'the power of prayer'. Boobs Falcon was far from impressed; she was absolutely fuming and sued the church, the priest and the entire congregation on the grounds that “the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business: either through direct or indirect divine actions or means”. In its formal reply to the court, the church heatedly and vocally denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise. There was a colourful, eclectic gathering at the courthouse one clear and sunny Friday morning. When the courtroom settled, the Honourable Justice Ian Gregory read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply. Again he shook his head, adjusted his glasses and wished he was on the golf course or casting a fishing line in pursuit of a feisty luderick. "I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case,” he began with venom in his voice. “But it appears from my paperwork that we now have a whorehouse owner, Miss Falcon, who steadfastly believes in the power of prayer. And in the other corner we have an entire church congregation that thinks that prayer is all a load of crap!" The judge tore up the paperwork, ordered everybody to get out of his courtroom and slammed his gavel. As he retreated to his private chamber, the Honourable Justice Ian Gregory’s biggest decision of the day then became: “Is it to the golf course or is it to my fruitful fishing spot?”

June 2015 | The Beast 65

Subject Sand drift Location Coogee Photographer Janet Wood

Subject Watery wisp Location Tamarama Photographer Andrew Worssam

Subject Submerged Location Bondi Photographer Amaury Tréguer (FB: Morning Bondi)

Subject King of the poo pipe Location Bondi Photographer Amaury Tréguer (FB: Morning Bondi)

Subject Busted Banksia Location Bronte Photographer Emily Foschi

The Beast wants your local photographs...

Subject The water's edge Location Bondi Photographer Leah Diprose

Subject Dog rock (look carefully and you'll see it) Location Tamarama Photographer Phoebe Stuart-Carberry

Subject Cloudy Cloey sunrise Location Clovelly Photographer Avril Pullin

Subject Soothing sands Location Bondi Photographer Renos Ross

Subject Glistening Location Clovelly Photographer Maureen McKenna

...email them to photos@thebeast.com.au

Domestic geese on the march at Centennial Park.

Aggressive, Noisy Interlopersâ&#x20AC;Ś Domestic Geese Words Keith Hutton Picture Jayne Goodman

he only geese you are likely to see in the Sydney region are domestic birds that have either escaped or been dumped in Centennial Parklands, or at many of the ornamental lakes and ponds in the area. There are only two species of geese native to Australia. Magpie Geese are presently widespread in coastal and sub-coastal areas from Broome district to near Brisbane, while Cape Barren Geese are largely restricted to islands and coastal areas in Tasmania, southwest Victoria and southeast South Australia. Consequently neither of these is likely to be seen in the Eastern Suburbs. Domestic geese have been selected for size, growth rate, different carcase characteristics and colour. Modern birds are faster growing and much bigger than their wild ancestors; some are pure white, and others have varied colour patterns. Selection has affected body structure too; wild geese have a horizontal posture and slim rear end, whereas domesticated birds lay down large fat deposits, resulting in a fat backside and more arrogant stance. Furthermore, most domestic geese are no longer able to fly. The original domesticated geese in Europe, North Africa and West Asia were derived from Greylag Geese that range naturally through Northern Europe and North Asia, and migrate to North Africa, India, China and Southeast Asia in winter, where they inhabit steppes, moors and lakes. In East Asia domesticated geese originated from Swan Geese that breed in Mongolia, Northeast China and Siberia, then winter in Central and

68 The Beast | June 2015

Eastern China, Taiwan and Korea, where they form large flocks on fresh water lakes. Domestic birds from both sources have been widely introduced throughout the world and modern flocks may consist of either species and/or hybrids between them. They have been kept in captivity for over 4,000 years for their meat, eggs and down feathers. Commercial production remains very popular in some countries in Europe and Asia, but not so much in Australia and North America. Both wild Greylags and Swan Geese are opportunistic vegetarians. They feed in short grasslands and arable fields and may naturally rely entirely on these at certain times of the year. They also eat other plant material, accessible from the ground or water surface, including roots and tubers, green leaves and stems, flower heads and fruits, with most agricultural crops on the menu. Not surprisingly, domestic geese in Sydney parks and gardens are largely vegetarian too, and readily supplement grazing with highly nutritious handouts from visitors that may therefore make a substantial contribution to their diet. Domestic geese are aggressive, noisy interlopers that appear to be well established in Sydney parks and gardens. However, they are not officially recognised as feral in any part of Australia, despite a submission for Norfolk Island that was not accepted recently. Personally I would not miss them if they disappeared like the introduced Nile Geese that originate from Africa and were apparently common in Centennial Parklands in the past, but are no longer present there.

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StadiumStomp.com.au June 2015 | The Beast 69

My average week's coffee consumption.

Seven Simple Steps To Show We Care Words Nicola Saltman (Senior Enviro Officer, Waverley Council) Picture Kofi Annan

ho cares about the environment? A fair whack of the population does. Polls show it's upwards of 80 percent. And it's not about being a greenie or tree hugger (not that there's anything wrong with that; I know and love many!). It's more about us citizens caring for the beautiful place we live in, wanting to keep it that way and make it even better for everyone, now and into the future. Let's face it, it's a very cool planet. If we get right down to it, it's also about basic survival and lifestyle. After all, without the food and water our earth provides, the fresh air we breathe, and the natural wonders that make us happy (research proves it), where would we be? Exactly. With World Environment Day on June 5, it seems only fitting to show we care by doing something simple and positive. Take your pick from these top ideas. 1. Grab a waste-free cup Australians drink an estimated 1.3 million cups of takeaway coffee each day, which amounts to

70 The Beast | June 2015

a whole heap of rubbish. Take your own mug to your favourite cafe or invest in a reusable one. Many cafes now offer a discount for conscious caffeine drinkers. 2. Get planting Green up your balcony or garden with native and food plants, or get creative with a green wall. Join a local bushcare group to meet other volunteers in the great outdoors who are looking after our bushland pockets along the coast (no experience necessary). Get in touch today â&#x20AC;&#x201C; phone 9369 8226. 3. Get composting Up to 50 percent of household waste is compostable or organic food waste. Collect your food scraps to turn into free fertiliser for your plants. Get a compost bin or worm farm plus a whole host of tips at www.compostrevolution.com.au. 4. Buy local and sustainable Local seasonal fruit and vegies are easy to find at Saturday's Bondi Farmers Market and other local grocers. They are fresh, yummy and cause less pollution

as they don't have to travel far to land on our plates. 5. Poo-poo plastic bags Plastic bags can't be recycled and often wind up in our oceans harming marine life or in landfill. Stock up on reusable bags to use at the grocery or retail store. Reuse plastic bags and put unwanted ones in the red garbage bin (not the recycling one). 6. Give rubbish a second chance Recycling gives new life to waste that would otherwise end up buried in landfill, taking up good space. Use the right recycling bins for paper and cardboard, plus glass and plastic containers. Find out easy ways to recycle batteries, old fridges, electronic goods and other bulky stuff at www.waverley.nsw.gov.au/waste. 7. Tell us more! Waverley Council is asking the community what you love and value about our local digs from a sustainability and general viewpoint. Go online for just five minutes and share your views at http://haveyoursaywaverley.com. au/waverley.

Find out how at www.randwick.nsw.gov.au

Unfortunately Malaysia is yet to embrace escalator technology.

Selamat Datang! 48 Hours In Kuala Lumpur Words and Pictures Daniel Resnik

recently had a two-day stopover in Kuala Lumpur and found that this was definitely not enough time to see all the major attractions in this modern, cosmopolitan city. With limited time I bought a day pass on the ‘hop on, hop off’ bus tour. This is the perfect way to discover where all the major attractions are and familiarise yourself with your new surroundings. The tour also takes you to Kuala Lumpur’s foremost shopping centres, which for me, a shopaholic, is a serious problem! There are 22 designated stops and over 40 attractions that can be seen on this double-decker airconditioned bus tour. It’s equipped with facilities such as pre-recorded multilingual commentary for each of the attractions and there is also Wi-Fi on board. I purchased a one-day pass and completed a loop of the city without disembarking. This way I was able to see all the major landmarks and take the opportunity to snap a squillion photos. In my next circumnavigation I then knew where I wanted to get off and what I wanted to see.

72 The Beast | June 2015

On my second loop I got off and wandered around Chinatown, Central Market, the National Mosque, the Bird Park and Mederka Square (where the Union Jack was lowered and the Malayan flag raised for the very first time at midnight on August 31, 1957). Chinatown is worth seeing through the day but I’d recommend a night visit, as it’s more colourful, bustling and crowded. The night markets are a bargain hunter’s Aladdin’s cave and mixed with a plethora of food they are a must-visit destination. With limited time I was soon hopping back on the bus so I could visit one of KL’s most famous buildings and tourist attractions: the Petronas Towers, one of the tallest buildings in the world. The 88-storey towers made of chrome and steel rise 451.9 metres into the heavens and are visually magnificent. I did the 5.30pm tour of the towers, which was the perfect time to take photos as the light was ideal. The first stop of the tower tour is the 58th floor where there is a viewing bridge that connects the two towers. You

better have plenty of battery life in your camera as you will not stop taking photos! You are then ushered up to the 88th floor where the views from the top are sublime. From here it felt like we’d been transported all the way to Batman’s hometown of Gotham City. For those suffering from any vertigo or height anxiety, scratch this one off the tour. After I was finished with my exhausting day of touring, food was on top of my agenda and after seeking some local advice I headed to an area known as Jalan Alor. This is where it seemed every KL resident and tourist congregates, and for good reason, as there is an excess of restaurants, food stalls, markets and bars. The vibe is mad. The next morning I organised a taxi to the Hindu temple and shrine known as the Batu Caves, which is a very popular tourist attraction. A limestone outcrop located just north of Kuala Lumpur, Batu Caves has three main caves featuring temples and Hindu shrines. Its main attraction is the large statue of the Hindu God at the entrance. There is a steep 272-step climb but once at the top the views of the city make the effort worthwhile. There are lots of cheeky monkeys you see on your way to the top that keep you entertained. Later that evening I went to the Traders Hotel where a top floor bar looks directly on to the twin towers - an exceptional place to hang out for a cocktail or two and a great place to take some night shots of the renowned towers. For a quick two-day stopover I’ve come away with some memorable moments and will hopefully be back one day to continue my discovery of KL.

Where to stay Shangri-La Hotel Kuala Lumpur www.shangri-la.com How to get there Malaysian Air www.malaysiaairlines.com The Travel Café Bondi www.whitestartravel.com.au (02) 9130 1345

Those were the days.

Origin Of The Species Words Alasdair McClintock Picture Lincoln Lewis

s far as sporting rivalries go, State of Origin must be up there as one of the best. There are some who will disagree with me, but the fact that for three nights of the year these otherwise amicable neighbours bay for the blood of men they might cheer for at any other point in the year gives me inexplicable joy. There is something so incredibly insane about it. It is primal. It is simple. It is sport. No one can genuinely say that the quality of the football is what they enjoy about Origin. More often than not it is little more than a war of attrition; a battle of wills to see which wall will crack first. For many it is the gladiatorial nature of Origin that appeals to them, but for me, it is the theatre. Each game has its villains and heroes, plot twists and turns, the most dramatic of climaxes and even the odd bit of humour. How I wish Roy and HG still called it, for they truly seemed to understand just how wonderful the whole folly was. The rivalry itself is nonsensical. The fact that Luke Keary will end up wearing a blue jersey and Inglis already wears a maroon one shows just how little the word 'origin' actually means. And sure, there was probably a sound reason for Queensland's hatred of NSW back in the 1980s, but if you're pining for the 'glory days' of the QRL it is time for you to step down from society, retire

74 The Beast | June 2015

to your porch and start swearing at the neighbourhood kids. You're done. Any usefulness to the evolution of humankind you may have once had has now ceased. Furthermore, what use does a bunch of supremely gifted athletes risking life and limb to beat the hell out of each other over an ostensibly meaningless rivalry actually have to do with the furthering of our species? None, probably, but I like to believe that it plays an immensely important role in our society. For Origin is undoubtedly a bloodsport, and since the dawn of time mankind has revelled in such glorified violence. It is in our DNA. It is showing no sign of abating and therefore we must at least attempt to minimise the damage and control it. With State of Origin, at least, no one is killed, and the new concussion rules have thankfully made it even safer. Today, we can feed our inner beast for three nights a year and then return to our loved ones, hunger abated, ready to live as peaceful beings for another twelve months. Only occasionally will we let our minds wander to the darker realms, where we fantasise about Gallen or Thaiday getting pummelled into the turf. Then we'll return calmy to our eggs benedict and single origin coffee, quietly hoping no one saw the evil sneer that briefly flittered across our face.

Thomas Trotter with a spectacular Spanish Mackerel under the Solitary Islands Marine Park lighthouse.

The Coming Of Winter Words and Picture Dan Trotter

une already – wow. The great thing about June is we are almost upon the shortest day of the year. Hooray! Over the past two years the coming of winter has grown to take on a special significance of its own and now brings with it the kind of excitement that night scented jasmine evokes at dusk on an early spring evening. A sense of anticipation that only addicted anglers can really know. Anticipation that brings with it eagerly expectant restless nights, punctuated by multiple checks of the alarm clock to ensure you haven’t slept through the pre-dawn wake-up. Dreamy dark hours almost lucid with the vivid imaginings of one-on-one battles with your chosen aquatic adversary. And what are these adversaries, I might hear you ask? Well, it really depends upon you and your level of obsession. For me it’s a three-pronged problem: snapper, tuna and eastern rock lobsters. For others it’s yellowtail kingfish, drummer and deepwater ooglies like blue-eye trevalla or gemfish. For freshwater fanatics not content to sit idly by until the season opens again in spring, it’s trout in the impoundments and dams. Whatever your favourites, there’s a special something about the dedication that winter brings to all forms of angling. June is a time for action; a time for dawn raids heading far offshore, or weekend missions down the coast to Jervis Bay and well beyond in search of the mighty yellowfin and bluefin tunas. June’s a month for working on your snapper

76 The Beast | June 2015

tactics and bringing home the red gold so prized by those who chase it. In the darker depths of the 100-metre reefs, large schools of Seriola lalandi, the yellowtail kingfish, will be amassing. Clued-in anglers and lucky weekend warriors will make the time to travel the 12 miles to find these fish; many will come home proud as punch with catches that will feed family and neighbours and impress anyone who cares to check them out. This run of offshore ‘kingies’ is a boon for tackle stores and for novice anglers alike, and is a time when I like to take my girl and her friends out and share the experience of what kingie fishing is all about. Be sure to pick a calm, clear-skyed winter’s day, so that your good intentions don’t have the opposite effect. Right on our doorstep it’s all about drummer, blackfish (luderick), tailor and salmon off the rocks, winter whiting and bream off the beaches and southern calamari squid wherever you can access a kelp-encrusted boulder shoreline. Be careful if fishing from the rocks: more people die when fishing from the rocks than in any other sport in Australia. Remember, no fish is worth your life. With winter whispering its name all along the eastern seaboard, it’s time for afflicted anglers to get active and make the most of the wonderful waters we’re lucky enough to call home. Remember, catch plenty, release plenty and always respect the wildlife above and below the mirrored surface that separates our world from theirs.

June 2015 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Picture Amaury TrĂŠguer - Facebook: Morning Bondi

MON 1 0120 0709 1258 1930

TUE

WED

THU

FRI

2 0200 0752 1336 2008

0.45 1.45 0.51 1.85

3 0242 0835 1417 2048

= 0.40 1.45 0.50 1.89

4 0325 0921 1500 2131

0.37 1.45 0.51 1.91

5 0410 1010 1547 2216

0.35 1.44 0.53 1.89

8 0643 0.39 1253 1.44 1833 0.63

9 0054 0739 1354 1941

1.71 0.41 1.47 0.65

10 0157 0835 1456 2054

= 1.63 0.42 1.53 0.64

11 0304 0931 1556 2208

1.57 0.43 1.61 0.60

12 0411 1025 1654 2316

1.53 0.43 1.70 0.53

15 0114 0.38 0708 1.48 1255 0.44 1927 1.92

16 0203 0800 1342 2013

0.34 1.46 0.47 1.93

17 0250 0848 1427 2056

= 0.33 1.44 0.50 1.92

18 0334 0934 1510 2138

0.35 1.41 0.54 1.87

19 0416 1019 1552 2217

22 0618 0.53 1230 1.34 1806 0.74

23 0018 0700 1318 1900

1.54 0.56 1.34 0.78

24 0106 0745 1411 2002

= 1.46 0.59 1.37 0.80

25 0202 0834 1506 2112

1.39 0.60 1.41 0.79

26 0303 0924 1600 2219

29 0010 0554 1143 1819

30 0056 0642 1226 1901

0.49 1.37 0.50 1.81

0.51 1.44 0.52 1.79

0.58 1.34 0.54 1.72

SAT 6 0458 1100 1638 2304

7 0549 1155 1732 2357

0.37 1.43 0.60 1.79

13 0514 1.50 1116 0.43 1747 1.79

14 0018 0613 1207 1838

0.45 1.49 0.43 1.87

0.39 1.39 0.59 1.80

20 0458 1102 1634 2257

0.44 1.36 0.64 1.72

21 0538 1145 1718 2336

0.49 1.34 0.69 1.63

1.34 0.60 1.47 0.74

27 0405 1012 1650 2319

1.32 0.59 1.54 0.67

0.36 1.43 0.56 1.85

= New Moon = First Quarter = Full Moon = Last Quarter

Is it really that time of the year already?

SUN

28 0502 1.32 1059 0.57 1736 1.63

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June 2015 | The Beast 79

3. Reach for a little black dress when you feel like you have nothing to wear. There's a reason all the magazines say every woman needs a good LBD - because it's true! If you have at least one trusty option to turn to on your rough days, the investment will pay off again and again. 4. Never leave the house without jewellery. When you’re in a rush it’s easy to forget to grab that necklace you love or that bangle everyone notices. It happens to the best of us. But a woman without jewellery is like hot chocolate without the marshmallow - still hot chocolate, yes, but not nearly as exciting. On the streets this month I found:

Vanessa from Double Bay.

Kerry from Queens Park.

Four Fashion Tips For Insanely Busy Women Words and Pictures Sharmin Musca, Personal Stylist

ife seems to be insanely busy at the moment, juggling work, social commitments, family and a time-consuming renovation. To those people who’ve been telling me how difficult they find dressing with any sense of purpose when they’re stressed, I hear you. Getting dressed in the morning should be a pleasant experience that leaves you smiling back at yourself as you look into the mirror, not just another thing on your to-do list. If you’re looking for help (and I’m also reminding myself here) I’ve listed four really easy ways to look ‘well put together’ no matter how packed your schedule is… 1. Make sure your clothes are appropriately tailored. The value of tailoring cannot

80 The Beast | June 2015

be overstated. If you have a wardrobe filled with clothes that actually fit, no matter what you throw on you will look like you take care of your appearance. A tailor is a surprisingly affordable investment that will carry you through your darkest sartorial days, so make one your new BFF. 2. If you’re a busy woman, you need to have at least three pairs of heels in your arsenal that you know you can stand or walk in for hours. Those with a supportive sole and block heel usually do the trick, but well placed gel inserts can also ease the pain of mid to high and pointy heels. Look to buy heels with a platform beneath the sole. These give you height but lessen the angle of your foot and offer more cushioning, reducing pressure.

Name Vanessa Lives Double Bay Occupation Retail sales Fave Item This Season Misuzi jewellery Street Style Vanessa layers a silk tank, DiD denim shirt and rabbit fur vest, all from Museum, as are her leather pants. She wears a Nike High Dunk wedge and carries a Zoda bag. Name Kerry Lives Queens Park Occupation Bondi Bathers owner Fave Item This Season Drop crotch jersey pant by Casakuma Street Style Kerry chills in Bassike jeans, a top by Naked Saint, Witchery leather jacket and Converse shoes. She carries a Lokoa clutch from Bondi Bathers and wears sunnies by Glarce. Does sorting out your wardrobe sound too difficult? Let a personal stylist do it for you. Give Sharmin a call on 0405 518 155 for a pain-free wardrobe audit and let her create your signature style. For more information, visit www.personalstylist.net.au.

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June 2015 | The Beast 81

The honeymoon is over baby.

The Sexless Marriage Words Matty Silver, Sex Therapist Picture Celia Bates

see many couples who used to have good sex lives, but now rarely have sex anymore and would like this to change. It is difficult enough to talk about your sex life, but admitting you don’t have one at all is very embarrassing. These couples also often believe they are the only ones with this problem. When they met and fell in love they had sex as often as possible, then things gradually changed and they are left wondering what happened to the desire and passion they once had. A sexless relationship is defined as having sex fewer than 10 times a year. In most relationships, sexual satisfaction is a measure of the entire relationship. There are some common reasons: not being satisfied with their sex life, no longer being attracted to their partner, body-image issues, sexual dysfunction, stress, depression or anxiety. Stress has become part of our lives and has a tendency to create tension between partners. When couples don’t sort out these problems, sooner or later resentment will surface and intimacy and sex will go on the back burner. Sometimes when I ask my clients when they last had sex, they tell me: “I can’t remember”. Men sometimes acquire sexual dysfunction – it’s not easy when a man, for whatever reason, starts having difficulties with his erections. When this happens, he may start avoiding sex instead of addressing the issue. If he doesn’t discuss this

82 The Beast | June 2015

problem with his partner they will inevitably grow apart, leaving him or her frustrated, resentful and angry. For women, there can be different reasons for not wanting sex much anymore. There are still many women (about 70 percent) who don’t experience an orgasm during intercourse. I advise them not to complain but to show their partners how to give them an orgasm during foreplay or intercourse, or after, by hand, oral sex or sex toy. Men are no mind-readers, and communicating openly is the best way to get results. There are also women who have never had an orgasm, and I suggest they should try to learn how to have one so they know what they are missing out on. Unlike men, women can have sex with their partners any time they want – they don’t need to be very excited and they can choose to make love for reasons other than strong desire. They may do it because they like feeling close or emotionally connected to their partner. Sometimes they might do it to make their partner happy, as the alternative is to not have sex at all. Now I don’t tell my female clients to just do it, but they often tell me: “Sometimes I just don’t feel like having sex, but when I actually do it, I start enjoying it and I am happy I instigated it”. Not all sexless relationships are doomed. It is fine, as long as both people are happy, not to have sex anymore. Unfortunately, this is rare.

Get in early and save on your 2016 charter The Indies Explorer has teamed up with The Beast to offer a special early bird package for Mentawais season 2016. Up until the end of June we are offering US $2,000 off the advertised prices on all of our peak season and shoulder season 11-night surf charters to readers of The Beast. Prices include all meals, accommodation, plenty of Bintangs and airport transfers for up to ten people. Get a few of your buddies together and take advantage of this special early bird offer to experience the trip of a lifetime on this classic vessel. For rates and availability, please visit our website at www.indiesexplorer.com. To book your surf charter, please send an email to james@thebeast.com.au.

Subject Bubble tongueys Location Bondi Photographer John Gilbert

Subject Whitewater fishing Location Bronte Photographer Emily Foschi

Subject Shadow selfie Location Bondi Photographer Renos Ross

Subject Eyesore removal Location Waverley Photographer John S. Batts

Subject Ben Buckler beauty Location Bondi Photographer Carolyn O'Brien

The Beast wants your local photographs...

Subject Long walks on the beach Location Bondi Photographer Leah Diprose

Subject Jumping under Location Maroubra Photographer Shane Lloyd

Subject Blazing Bondi sunrise Location Bondi Photographer Breda Farrell

Subject Besties Location Bondi Photographer Amaury TrĂŠguer (FB: Morning Bondi)

Subject The clean-up begins Location Bronte Photographer Emily Foschi

...email them to photos@thebeast.com.au

Album #1 Artist Death Cab For Cutie Album Kintsugi Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  Let's face it; the last Death Cab album was pretty ordinary. It sounded like a Hillsong orgy; eerily harmonised and ultimately just a bunch of people rutting away in missionary position. Thankfully Kintsugi sees a return to form. Death Cab’s beauty is in the melancholic intellectual ramblings of their frontman and their nostalgic arrangements, which some are wont to criticise, but I am more than happy with as previous attempts to experiment fell a little short. It's no Transatlanticism, which is in my top five albums of all time, but they're back to doing what they do the best and I am immensely comfortable with that.

Album #2 Artist Gang of Youths Album The Positions Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating 

DVD Review Title While We’re Young Genre Comedy Drama Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador Integrity and fabrication sit side by side in this appealingly original comedy from writer/director Noah Baumbach (The Squid And The Whale, Greenberg, Frances Ha). Cornelia (Naomi Watts) and Josh (Ben Stiller), two childless forty-something New Yorkers living what they think is a great, uncomplicated lifestyle with unlimited freedom, are given a much needed injection of stimulation after an apparent chance meeting with Jamie (Adam Driver) and Darby (Amanda Seyfried), a young, free-spirited, retro-hip couple who Josh met while conducting a documentary filmmaking lecture. Cornelia and Josh embrace the carefree and spontaneous life of their newfound friends, much to the concern of Marina (Maria Dizzia) and Fletcher (Adam Horovitz), their close friends who have just had a baby and are settling into a sedate and respectable middle-age. With this, his eighth feature film, Baumbach walks a fine line between popular mainstream and peculiar offbeat. Dry, amusing and very relatable from so many viewpoints, While We’re Young is filled with clever observations of how life isn’t always what we expect it to be and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

86 The Beast | June 2015

I'm sure these guys are tired of being compared to Bruce Springsteen, but holy hell they sound like him. In fact, 'The Boss' seems to have a had such a big influence on the Sydney music scene of late I'm starting to think he must be teaching a class at AIM. If you're a fan of Springsteen, or any guitar driven music for that matter, I highly recommend listening to this. Engaging from start to finish, it is one of the best debut albums I've heard in some time, and barring some unforeseen falling out it is safe to say that Gang of Youths are undoubtedly the ‘next big thing’.

Album #3 Artist Millencolin Album True Brew Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  Millencolin! If you were a teenager during the 1990s there's a good chance you have a giant soft spot for this Swedish quartet. If you don't, it's okay; you probably just don't have a soul. It's amazing that they're still going after all these years and, disturbingly, an image search shows they've barely aged. Have they supped from the fountain of youth? In truth, they could have released this album 20 years ago. Sometimes I am critical of bands for not growing their sound, but then some are like going to your favourite bakery for a piece of vanilla slice. If they messed with the ingredients, you'd throw it away in disgust and stop going back.

Arts & Entertainment From Around The Beaches... Words Marcus Braid Picture Nicole Cupic - Instagram: @nickabokers

ACTION, THE CAMERAS ARE ROLLING The inaugural SmartFone Flick Fest (SF3), Australia’s only dedicated smartphone film festival for filmmakers of all ages, has officially launched and is now accepting entries. Clovelly's Ali Crew and Potts Point's Angela Blake have founded this exciting new event. SF3 movies must be shot entirely on a smartphone or tablet and the competition is open to filmmakers of any level of experience from Australia and around the world. Filmmakers have three months to create and submit their films. Entries close on August 16. Submissions can be made online at www.sf3.com.au. RESIDENT SHARES CLOSE TO HOME EXPERIENCES Bondi resident Robin Barker is many things, including a midwife, baby-guru and best-selling author. Robin has seen a wide variety of parenting techniques during her 40-year career as a midwife in a vast number of different settings and has drawn on these ‘close to home’ experiences to write fiction in a book of short stories titled ‘Close To

Home’. Without being polemical, they channel her vast experience, touching on powerful topics such as surrogacy, sexism, racism and immigration. At 71, she still does the ocean swim across Bondi Beach most days. Close To Home is available in all good bookstores. AUSTRALIAN BURLESQUE FESTIVAL Celebrating its sixth year, the popular Australian Burlesque Festival is touring Australia nationwide from June 11 to July 4, and arrives in Sydney with ‘Empress Nouvelle’ on June 19 and ‘The Big Tease’ on June 20. The Australian Burlesque Festival is the biggest celebration of tease in the Southern Hemisphere and brings together the best of national and emerging performers, along with renowned international icons never before seen on Australian stages. For more information, please log on to www.australianburlesquefest.com. FILM FESTIVAL KICKS OFF The Sydney Film Festival's 62nd iteration will kick off on June 3 and run for 12 days, with re-

cently announced, locally-made film Ruben Guthrie opening proceedings. This year's Sydney Film Festival features 251 films sourced from 68 countries, and will be bookended by two Aussie films for only the fourth time in the event's six-decade-long history: Ruben Guthrie and Neil Armfield's Holding The Man. Screening venues are in and around the city, including the State Theatre. For more information, visit www.sff.org.au. CLOVELLY COOKBOOK FINALLY LAUNCHED It has been a year in the making and it has finally been launched: the Clovelly Public School Cookbook, ‘Create Play Celebrate’, is ready for you to purchase. The book is full of inspiring, tasty recipes from the school and local community, and amazing photography. All proceeds go straight into fundraising for Clovelly Public School. You can purchase the book at the school or various cafés and shops in the Clovelly area, including Top Hat Coffee, Clovelly Bakery, Scissors Paper Socks bookshop and TG Butchery in Bondi Junction.

When the temperature drops and the crowds subside, Bronte really begins to shine.

What a handsome chap.

Kilter – A State Of Sound Readiness Words and Picture Scott Tweedie

ydney-based electronic producer Kilter is a star on the rise. At just 20 years old, his style and sound - infused with tropical accents and heavy percussion - are quickly making headway in the domestic and international music scene. Not only has his production prowess made Kilter a go-to on musiclovers’ playlists, his energetic live performances are what sets him apart. Kilter has supported the likes of RUFUS, The Kite String Tangle and Art Vs Science, as well as performing at Splendour in the Grass and the Big Day Out, just to name a few. Now he’s set to treat Sydneysiders to a Vivid set at The Basement on the June 7 (tickets are $25).

as… kind of poppy but also really interesting, and it’s driven by this really strong percussive beat, so hopefully people can dance to it too!

The name Kilter comes from… People always ask me this and I don’t have an instant answer. Off-kilter means offbeat, so I guess Kilter means onbeat…

My biggest fan has got to be... my mum, to be honest. She is the one asking about stuff all the time. She spent about an hour yesterday trying to make me a new logo because she didn’t like the one I am working with at the moment.

My new single, ‘Want 2’, featuring Porsches could be described

88 The Beast | June 2015

The most exciting thing about the local music scene is… that everyone here is doing such cool stuff and is really supportive, so anything that anyone does everyone gets behind and all the gigs are fun to go to because it’s all just a big family. I'd like to think that my music is... exciting. Hopefully not every song sounds the same and I can experiment between different tracks and different ideas – that makes people stay interested in it.

If you come and see me play at Vivid, you can expect... to have fun. This gig is going to be really fun, actually. I’m debuting a new live show, which is something I’ve been working on for a while, so it’s going to be bigger and better than before. And I’ve got special guests coming down too. Porsches will be there to perform; that’s pretty exciting! The songwriter or producer I’d most like to tour with or learn from would be… Basement Jaxx around the 2005 era. They were doing really experimental beat stuff and had this killer live show. I never got to go because I was too young, but their shows looked sick from the videos. Also, all their old albums, like ‘Remedy’ – that’s what I’ve been listening to lately for inspiration - they were so far ahead of the curve back then. Kilter’s new single, ‘Want 2’, featuring Porsches is out now. To get tickets to Kilter’s Vivid show go to www.vividsydney.com.

June 2015 | The Beast 89

Oh wow, that looks quite tasty.

Chalk Espresso Leaves Its Mark Words Dining Dave Picture Grant Brooks

hen I first heard the name Chalk Espresso I was curious; what is it referring to? Something to do with coffee? The location? The owner’s name? Intrigued, my companions and I headed down to Maroubra Beach for a late breakfast on a Saturday to find out what the story is and what the fuss is about. Located a stone’s throw from the northern end of the beach, it’s a little up from Marine Parade on McKeon Avenue, across from the Bay Hotel and Diner. The outdoor wooden seating contrasts the funky indoors, which provides the reveal on why it’s called Chalk. The whole place is decorated with chalk drawings. No hanging pictures, no ornamentation, just black walls and chalk artwork. A Chilean skull, Che Guevara, a

90 The Beast | June 2015

Rubik’s Cube, a motorcycle racer and an astronaut floating outside a window all feature on the walls. As Dennis, the manager, co-partner and barista extraordinaire explained, local artists and passers-by do the decorating. Quirkily, their loyalty program is also on the wall, which came about after customers kept losing their loyalty cards. Not surprisingly, the coffee is the star here, and Dennis’ passion for the bean is hard to beat. When they opened 18 months ago they offered no food, just coffee, centering on the Arnika Reserve Blend from Di Bella Coffee. While I love my morning coffee, we were starving when we arrived, so we went straight for the all-day brekky offerings. We started with the bircher muesli with yogurt, apple, strawberry

and honey served in a mason jar, which got us in the mood for the big guns. The huevos rancheros - a Mexican-style wrap with scrambled eggs, mushrooms, cheese, bacon and tomato salsa - was a highlight, and the breakfast bruschetta with poached eggs, mushroom, tomato salsa, baby spinach and feta was also a delight. A very intimidating-looking but delicious bacon and egg roll with a fried egg, onion jam and aioli all stuffed into a Turkish panini followed. If Chalk’s coffee is its reliable point-scoring jab, the food is definitely the knockout punch. We finished off with a second round of coffees and four tasty sweets to-go including two craft muffins - a raspberry and white chocolate dream and a Ferrero Rocher chocolate and cherry overindulgence - plus two brownies - a mango and white chocolate ‘blondie’ and a Belgian chocolate and walnut bar - a great way to finish off a late brekky while baking in the May sunshine just off the beach. If you are up for dinner, Chalk also offers an Italian-style menu from Thursday to Saturday, which I’m sure would make for a great night out. Chalk Espresso seems to be doing everything right and it certainly left its mark on us, and if you’re handy with the chalk in hand, you may even be allowed to leave your mark on them. Chalk Espresso Address 45 McKeon Avenue, Maroubra Phone (02) 8068 1415 Website facebook.com/chalkespresso E | scott@chalkespresso.com Open Sun-Wed 7am-3.30pm; Thur-Sat 7am-late Prices Brekky $8-$16; Lunch $12-$17 Seats 30 inside + 20 outside Cards All major cards Licensed Yes

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MON TO FRI 8am - 5pm June 2015 | The Beast 91

Andrew Marks from Wanderer Wines loves rolling up his sleeves rolled up and getting his hands dirty.

The Young Guns Of Wine - Part 5 Words Alex Russell Picture The Wanderer Wines

elcome to the final part of my five-part series on the Young Guns of Wine Awards (younggunsofwine.com), which highlights some of the best young winemakers coming through the ranks in the Aussie wine industry. Andrew Marks (Wanderer) One of the most interesting Pinots I’ve had in recent years is the Wanderer Upper Yarra Pinot Noir. There is some whole bunch fermentation giving it a funky character. At $55, it might be a stretch for some, but if you’re into Pinots you’re probably used to that. He also makes a red in Spain from 100-year-old Carinyena (Carignan) vines ($50). Carinyena is a fascinating grape. Have it with a juicy steak. Other wines include a lower Yarra Pinot and a Shiraz (both $35), along with a Rosé ‘with attitude’ for $22. They’re all great, of course, but don’t miss out on the white; a Chenin Blanc pressed in whole bunches into old oak. It’s a fascinating textural wine that is an absolute steal for $25. The oak is very subtle, adding more to texture than to flavour. Seriously, try this wine.

92 The Beast | June 2015

They’re available from www.wandererwines.com. Rory Lane (The Story Wines) When I first came across The Story Wines, he was focusing on Shiraz. His flagship wines were $50 single vineyard Shirazes from various places in the Grampians (think cool climate loveliness) and a $28 Shiraz that was a blend of a few vineyards. The single vineyards vary depending on vintages. You may also find Pinots, Rieslings, white blends and various other bits and pieces from year to year. The Grampians region is home to some of Australia’s best reds, including the likes of Mount Langi, Seppelt Great Western and Best’s Great Western. Rory’s wines stand up incredibly well to these famous names. Try them. Sure, I know $50 is a bit of an experiment, but I’ve pushed a lot of Shiraz drinkers to try these over the years and every single one of them has come back to buy more. There aren’t many of them available (as little as 40 dozen for some wines), so get in quick. You can purchase them at www.thestory.com.au.

So Many More … There are so many other awesome producers who have been recognised by these awards that I would love to mention, such as Nick Glaetzer (Glaetzer Dixon), Dave Macintosh (Ar Fion and Salo), James Esrkine (Jauma) and Mac Forbes (Mac Forbes). And if you really want to see some funky, out-there winemaking, you should have a look at Brendan Keys (BK Wines) when you've got a spare minute between drinks. These awards are showcasing some awesomely talented winemakers who are making some wines that make you sit up and think. You’ll see a lot of wines from these producers in various restaurant wine lists. Keep in mind that the wines that many of them produce are different and experimental. If you find that one of their wines isn’t to your taste (and that’s perfectly okay), don’t let that turn you off. Remember that all of my wine articles are available at www.thebeast.com.au, so if you want to read the other parts of this series, check them out there.

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Guilt-Free Chocolate Pancakes With Grilled Banana And Caramel Sauce Words and Picture Catherine Noonan Prep time 5 minutes Cooking time 5 minutes

hese Chocolate Pancakes are the perfect way to start the perfect Sunday. They are only to be made and served when you have time to sit, relax and enjoy them, alongside your favourite tea or coffee brew, of course. The pancakes are free of sugar and dairy and are instead made from egg, cacao powder, macadamia meal and arrowroot. The grilled banana is a must, as is the 'caramel’ sauce, which is made with a 1:1 ratio combination of tahini and maple syrup. I chose maple syrup because its flavour is delicate, unlike honey, which can at times be over-powering. However, if you prefer honey, please go ahead and use it. You needn't sprinkle any sugar on the banana slices; they will caramelise all by themselves with their natural sugars.

94 The Beast | June 2015

This recipe serves one, but is it easy enough to double, quadruple and so forth. Enjoy! Ingredients (Serves 1) 1 tbsp tahini 1 tbsp maple syrup 1 egg, beaten 2 tbsp macadamia (or other nut) meal 1 tbsp arrowroot/tapioca flour 1 tsp cacao powder 1 pinch vanilla powder 1 pinch cinnamon 1 pinch bicarbonate soda 1/2 tsp coconut oil 1 banana, halved lengthways Tools Small mixing bowl and fork Small non-stick, heavy-based frying pan and spatula Small bowl or ramekin Method 1. To make the 'caramel', mix the tahini and maple syrup together in a small bowl or

ramekin until smooth. Set aside until required. 2. In another small mixing bowl, combine the egg, macadamia nut meal, arrowroot, cacao powder, vanilla, cinnamon and bicarbonate soda using a fork. 3. Preheat a non-stick, heavybased frying pan to medium heat and coat with coconut oil. 4. Pour the batter into the frying pan, spreading it out to make a circular pancake shape. Allow to cook gently for a couple of minutes, or until little bubbles appear. Flip with a spatula and cook the other side for a further minute, or until firm and lightly golden. Remove from the pan and place on a serving plate. 5. In the same frying pan, add the bananas and fry on both sides until golden. This will take a couple of minutes. Once golden, place on top of the pancake. 6. Pour the 'caramel' sauce over the banana and pancake. Serve immediately.

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The Beast Supercross 1

3. Keanu Reeves’ character in The Matrix (3) 4. Relating to the eye (10) 5. Eggs (3) 6. Mythological river that formed the boundary between Earth and the Underworld (4) 8. Number that can’t be written as a fraction (10) 9. Blind musician, … Charles (3) 11. Nitrous Oxide (3) 12. Details of a building’s location (7) 14. Alloy that is melted to join one metal to another (6) 15. Afternoon (1,1) 16. Unpleasant physical sensaDown tion (4) 1. Capital of Bosnia and Herze- 18. I am, you are, he/she ___ (2) govina (8) 19. Cleopatra’s 2. Move head in killer (3) agreement (3) Across 1. Texan city where the 2013-14 NBA champions hail from (3,7) 7. Cancer treatment that uses ionising radiation (12) 10. Former rugby league player trying out for the NFL (6,5) 13. Prostitution is considered to be a … crime (10) 16. 3.14159… (2) 17. Someone who doesn’t tell the truth (4) 19. Building blocks of all biological proteins (5,5) 20. Womanisers (12)

Beast Local Trivia Words Elly Saliba Picture Suzanne Williams 1. True or False: Until 2011, Russia had classified beer as a soft drink? 2. What is the most popular spice in the world? 3. How many medals did Australia win at the 2012 Olympics? 4. In what year did The

Simpsons first air? 5. Who is Australia’s longest serving Prime Minister? 6. Which is the only continent without a desert? 7. Which song was ranked number one on the Billboard Top 100 Chart for 2014? 8. In which Harry Potter movie

A sentry keeps watch over his fortress.

96 The Beast | June 2015

did Dumbledore die? 9. In what year did Apollo 11 land on the moon? 10. In what year did Sculpture by the Sea first take place at Bondi?

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June 2015 | The Beast 97



LEO Jul 24-Aug 23 Don't go giving poor people money because then you will have less money to spend on yourself.

CAPRICORN Dec 23-Jan 20 Your friend's mum is not fair game so don't even think about it. Well okay, you can think about it, just don't act on it.

VIRGO Aug 24-Sep 23 Take any offer of sex you can get because it's going to be a while before your next ploughing opportunity presents itself.

AQUARIUS Jan 21-Feb 19 At some stage this month you will end up with a hot load on your chin. It could be yours, it could be someone else's; try to enjoy it.

LIBRA Sep 24-Oct 23 It's cheaper to fly to the US, enjoy twenty bags of coke and then fly home, than to stay here and have ten. Something to think about.

PISCES Feb 20-Mar 20 Short on time? Give up watching porn and you'll magically have an extra four hours to play with each day.

GEMINI May 21-Jun 21 Do not feel obliged to tip in Australia, ever. That's what the minimum wage is for, so tell that pushy waitress to f*ck off.

SCORPIO Oct 24-Nov 22 Stop blaming the banks for your financial woes when you're the greedy pig who overborrowed to fund your excessive lifestyle.

ARIES Mar 21-Apr 20 Stop stressing about money. You may feel poor around these parts but you could live like a king just about anywhere else.

CANCER Jun 22-Jul 23 Masturbating in front of the mirror is both an effective and enjoyable method of increasing your self-awareness.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23-Dec 22 Don't feel dejected when all of your friends are away on skiing trips. Skiing is for spoilt rich kids who are shit at everything else.

TAURUS Apr 21-May 20 Bitching and moaning about gas and electricity bills won't make you any warmer, so turn the bloody heater on you tightarse.

Star Signs

 Words Beardy from Hell

Trivia Solutions

1. True 2. Pepper 3. 35 4. 1989 5. Robert Menzies 6. Europe 7. ‘Happy’ by Pharrell Williams 8. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince 9. 1969 10. 1997

A 7

E 8

P T

M 16

E 12

L D

A D D

R E

E D

Y X

I A

O 14

S T

A A

A I

O V

A H

S 20

I 15

J E

A 10

98 The Beast | June 2015

 S E

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