The Beast - March 2021

BEAST The

March 2021

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Easing Back Into the Rat Race Words James Hutton, Publisher Welcome to the March 2021 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s beaches of the east. Hopefully by the time you pull this month’s mag from your mailbox our glorious leader Gladys will have loosened restrictions a little further and we’ll all be easing back into the competitive struggle for wealth and power that is life in Sydney.

This month’s cover painting is the creation of Bondi artist Yasmin Shima, who hosts Paint & Sip classes at various local venues and also teaches people to paint. If you’re offended or tempted to complain about a painting of a bikini-clad bum appearing on the cover, please give yourself an uppercut and go to bed.

6 The Beast March 2021

The next phase of Bronte Surf Club’s attempted takeover of public space at Bronte Beach is about to begin, with whispers abounding that the organisation has hired a public relations firm to help sell the idea to frustrated locals.

It will be interesting to see whether the influential individuals behind the private club’s expansion have listened to the clear message the community sent the first time around, and we’re looking forward to seeing a plan that has one building, the same size or smaller than the current clubhouse, situated on the existing footprint. Too much time and taxpayers’ money has already been wasted on this empire-building exercise.

Cheers, James

The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editor james@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au Rates and Specs thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 60,000 copies are delivered every month; 56,500 are placed in mailboxes and 3,500 in local shops.

PEFC Certified The Beast uses paper from sustainably managed forests.

Letters to the Editor Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and the suburb you live in.

CONTENTS Marc h 2 0 2 1 Issue 1 9 4

6 7 8 10 19 20 28 30

Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Monthly Mailbag Thumbs Local News Local Artist Police News

32 34 36 38 39 40 42 44

Satire Unreliable Guide Making Music Headnoise Tide Chart Marj's Musings Local Photos Food Review

Milk Beach sunsets, by Sarah Locks @sarahlocks.

45 47 48 48 49 50 50

Dana's Recipe Business Page Film Review Album Reviews Brainteasers Beardy from Hell Trivia Solutions

How embarrassing.

Rights and Responsibilities Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Fiona Sees As self-appointed COVID Ambassador, Pearl feels it is time to weigh in on the unleashed dog debate before it threatens to spill over into civil unrest on the genteel streets of the Eastern Suburbs. Pearl can be trusted to cut through the emotions and hysteria involved in owning a fluffy animal by providing no-nonsense advice and solutions to pressing upper middle class issues.

Unfortunately, Pearl has noticed that the gentrification of the Eastern Suburbs is directly proportional to a rise in selfish and shoddy social behaviour in the area. Affluent people are notorious for deluding themselves that the rules do not apply and will go to pathetic lengths to ensure the delusion lives on. Of course, fines will never be a deterrent to the wealthy (the cost of a parking fine is well worth getting to yoga on time) and we all know that public criticism is just a form of shaming and discrimination.

That is why Pearl is here to impart her ambassadorial 8 The Beast March 2021

advice on the doggy dilemma as much as Pearl would like to take a sledge-hammer approach to the problem, we don’t want to upset the sensibilities of the sensitive people who have transformed the suburb of Clovelly into a ‘village’. Hence, I am suggesting we take a philosophical approach by asking dog transgressors to channel their inner Rousseau.

Self-absorbed people often forget that living in a society means engaging in an unwritten social contract with one’s fellow beings. By entering this contract, we as individuals sacrifice the freedom to do “whatever, man” so that we can live in a harmonious, safe society like the Beaches of the East. Pearl understands that it is easy to forget, and with all the pressures of the Eastern Suburbs ‘lifestyle’, being mindful of others is the last thing on one’s mind.

Darling reader, you may be a leash-free advocate or too posh to pick up your dog’s poo, you may also feel strongly about

your dog free-ranging in the same way as your child, but I am urging you to think about your social contract before you push the envelope on the rules of polite society - it is not all about you and your rights. Have you considered the rights of others? You might feel your dog has a right to use your neighbour’s verge (or the local park) as a potty, but have you considered your neighbour’s right to a faeces-free lawn? The social contract philosophy can also be applied to other areas of your life. For example, your right to park across a driveway at school drop-off infringes upon the rights of those who own the driveway. You get the drift.

So, darlings, next time you are tempted by self-absorption, think again. Instead of spending a small fortune on mindfulness meditation, one could attain dharma by leashing one’s dog and picking up their poo.

And, at the same time, Pearl may have averted the Eastern Suburbs form of drive-by shootings, i.e. dog poo “egging”.

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The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The Wonderful People of the Eastern Suburbs BRONTE CUTTING LIGHTING PROPOSAL There are lots of things I would love to see Waverley Council spending its money on - fixing our potholed roads, sporting facilities for kids, affordable housing and getting rid of weeds from the verges and parks all leap to mind.

Instead, it seems determined to spend the money raised from ratepayers and visitors on solving non-existent problems.

The latest example is its proposal to light Bronte Cutting at night. Perhaps it worries that walking there is dangerous? It absolutely isn’t. Hardly anyone goes there and those that do are happy to rely on the moon or a torch to light their way. Or is the concern cars? The odd car may pass by those out walking, but cars have headlights, the very purpose of which is to allow drivers to see what lies ahead of them. Council’s concern can’t be antisocial behaviour either, because that is not currently a problem. However, the addition of lighting may lead to it becoming a problem as more people may be attracted to the area at night.

If Council believes that Bronte Cutting is so dangerous that it must be lit up like a fun fair, then what about the entire coastal walk, or the cemetery, or Centennial and Queens Parks? Of course those places shouldn’t be lit up, and neither should this. It’s a lovely thing to wander through the Cutting and into Calga

10 The Beast March 2021

Reserve at night to enjoy the darkness of the sky and to watch the moon shining on the ocean.

Council should leave things as they are so people can continue to enjoy one of Sydney’s few dark sky areas.

Regards, Penelope Bronte BRONTE CUTTING LIGHTING What is it with Waverley Council?

They seem to have so much money - maybe a night at the casino could help with that. How else can we explain their constant desire to fix things that are not broken?

The latest brilliant idea is to light up the Bronte Cutting. They just can’t leave it alone. It used to look like a quiet country road.

First they put a sentry box at the bottom and a boom gate at the top. It all went rusty and seemed to stop working so they took it away. Then they put in parking lines, car detectors and solar operated parking meters. Then, more recently, they covered up half of that with the temporary footpath, ostensibly to complete the coastal walk.

You have to wonder about all this. Now they want to extend the footpath up to Macpherson Street… Why? It’s not even a part of the Coastal Walk. There’s a number of alternate routes.

To add insult to injury, they want to include lighting up the Cutting like a Christmas

tree. Why? They seem to have completely forgotten that it’s a heritage item. So why this relentless attack on the historical Cutting, a treasured part of the local heritage, and why the repeated waste of money, with each new project covering up and demolishing the last?

Couldn’t they use the money for something useful? Surely there are parts of our LGA that could do with some of that money?

It really makes you wonder what’s next. Will they try to light up the entire coastal path? What about the wildlife? What about all the poor little creatures that try to live alongside the coastal path they must be saying to each other, “Are the humans determined to light up every square inch of the globe? I can’t get a good night’s sleep.”

And what about sustainability - what is the environmental footprint of this pointless lighting?

There is already too much clutter and light pollution along the coastal path and in the Bronte Cutting. Please do not add any more and please stop wasting money.

Chris Bronte LET THEM RUN FREE Joining the ranks of curmudgeonly old people with a tea cosy on my head, I write to express my bemusement at the Macca’s dog ban.

83 per cent of respondents to the council survey were in favour of dogs - a dream for any political party. I accept that some of the objections by the 17 per cent minority (dog faeces, scared kiddies) have some validity.

Those objections are substantially outweighed by the sheer joy that a dog swim at Macca’s engenders for owners and dogs alike. I have not seen any scared kiddies, but I have seen a lot of delighted ones.

Rarely have I seen dog faeces, but my experience has been that dog owners are overwhelmingly responsible about that issue, anywhere.

Properly analysed, Council said no because;

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1. Council rangers don’t want to visit Macca’s as it’s apparently dangerous. When I hear OH&S objections by public authority, something is always afoot. Here is an idea; have a sign saying, “There are rocks, water and dogs here. It’s a matter for you as to whether you want to visit.”

2. It will cost money. No, it won’t.

There is nothing to be done. Even if it did, perhaps Council could reallocate some of the (outrageous) misuse of ratepayers money spent on the COVID marshal stormtroopers we have had to tolerate over the last year.

I suspect that persons even more curmudgeonly than me are in the (noisy) minority, and that they have mates at Council.

While I do accept that a real risk of allowing dogs at Macca’s is that even more Instagram/black felt hat types may choose to visit, that is a battle which was lost the day that they pulled the sewer pipe out of Bondi.

Let the dogs roam free, you dull bureaucratic oafs.

Reay McGuinness Bronte DUNCAN’S RANT What double standards you have; in one sentence you want young people fined for having fun, but when it comes to dog owners you want rangers to turn a blind eye.

You say most dog owners are responsible and yet every day there are fresh steaming piles of dog poo on the coastal walk. If you want zero tolerance then let it be for everyone.

Nathan The Bra DOG OWNERS DID IT AGAIN As a dog owner in South Coogee, I couldn’t agree more with Ana (Dog Owners Did it Again, Letters, The Beast, February 2021).

The path is already busy with runners and walkers. An unpredictable dog can cause a lot of issues. A friend of mine ended up in hospital with three broken ribs and a punctured lung because of an untethered dog running across his path. Luckily he received compensation from the owners, who

12 The Beast March 2021

were also fined, but his recovery has been long and painful.

In addition, our dog (who’s always on the lead) does not like other dogs coming up and sniffing her arse - fair enough - and she’ll have a go at the loose dog. It’s not safe, it’s the friggin’ law, so stop being self-centred tossers and do the considerate thing.

Lisa South Coogee WAVERLEY WHIMSY The cliff top walk between Bondi and Bronte boasts breathtakingly attractive views and is understandably popular. Some person in Waverley Council has suggested spending ratepayers’ money to produce an ‘alternative pedestrian route’ that would require trudging up Bondi Road from the beach, then traversing Sandridge and Alexander Streets, Gaerloch Avenue to Dellview Street and Pacific Avenue. It is fantasised that it will seduce pedestrians away from the cliff walk.

The fact that this route already exists and is rarely used as an alternative to the clifftop walk, which requires less uphill exertion and provides beautiful views, seems to be an irrelevance.

The lack of popularity of the proposed route is no mystery and is explained by the exertion required, the lack of views (other than of a hodgepodge of unsightly houses, flats and parked vehicles), the proximity of traffic, the resultant fumes and then the ridiculously narrow footpath in Gaerloch Avenue. The proposed capital works, which apparently include green pavements, will not mask this reality.

Why on earth would anyone prefer such a route to the fresh ocean air and spectacular views the coastal walk is blessed with?

It is not as though this ‘alternative pedestrian route’ is a secret requiring signage, as mobile phones and tablets provide ample pedestrian route advice. Imagine the sarcastic comments about it on tourist advice sites as an alternate experience!

Then, to complement this proposal, it is suggested that

additional funds be expended by turning Gaerloch and Dellview Avenues into one-way streets.

How this either relates to, or is necessary to, the ‘alternative pedestrian route’ is not explained.

To impose the inconvenience of more roadworks and traffic changes upon residents and to expend ratepayer funds upon such an ill-conceived venture is unwarranted.

You wouldn’t do it with your own money.

Greg Maidment Bronte BOOMBOX DISCONNECTION Here are some suggestions to my fellow beachgoers who love sharing their music (and surely hate having their favourite track ruined by sound vandals): Play the same song as your towel neighbour, or use rock paper scissors to choose who can pump up the jam next. Alternatively, just enjoy the sound of summer and leave your gear at home for this time. I promise it’ll still be useful on that solo trip in the outback.

Polo Tamarama NIPPERS Hi Beasties - I’m a long time reader, first time writer. Bronte beach is such a great leveller, an open space where all are welcome, at least when nippers (parents) haven’t taken over.

I’ve noticed that when beach waves are too big for nipper boards (or parents), they take over the Bogey Hole. Is it appropriate for ‘water safety’ to tell other young non-nipper kids to get out of the way because “there are races on” inside the Bogey Hole on a Sunday morning?

I saw a board crash over the head of two young girls trying their best to stay out of the way and enjoy themselves. Just because you put on a hat and wear a ‘water safety’ shirt it doesn’t make you an authority, and it certainly doesn’t give you the right to lay your hands on someone else’s kid and push them out of the way in the name of ‘safety’, which is what I observed.

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If you haven’t taught your kids how to handle decent surf, maybe sit it out for a week until conditions more suit current levels of experience. As far as I am aware, you don’t have the right to commandeer a small communal (and already crowded) public space for your own special club. And if you’re going to wear a shirt that says ‘water safety’, learn how to swim in the surf before you tell other people to move on.

Rant over, Dad Bronte THAT "OFFENSIVE" COVER Dear Beast - Having recently moved from the Inner West, I was both delighted and amazed to find a lively local mag turn up in my Randwick letterbox… Congratulations James, and all those who help The Beast along - not for just surviving this last tortuous business year, but for running a publication which actually does what it claims and delivers to local homes. In my professional experience in publishing, that’s pretty rare. It certainly doesn’t happen in the Inner West any more.

But one thing did remind me of my old oh-so-woke stomping ground - the letter demanding an apology for your “sexist and racist” January cover. Though on turning the page and seeing that it was signed by someone claiming to be from “Another Planet” (Newtown, surely?), I began to think it was written by the artist herself, or perhaps the editor, stirring the pot? Tell us the truth now, James…

I showed the offending image to two sharp-eyed media critics, both female, before alerting them to the criticism. One suggested it represented “multicultural Australia doing a typically Aussie thing - going to the beach”, while my wife thought it just looked like “foolish people baking themselves silly on the sand” (she’s not a beach girl). But with everyone wearing masks, my take was that it was a clever poke at all those dishonestly distorted scary photos and footage of crowded Bondi (and now Coogee) beaches that

14 The Beast March 2021

we’ve had to endure recently - lazy shorthand for a ‘danger’ which is almost totally impossible in the open sunshine with a sea breeze. Whatever, it was fun.

More please.

Russell Edwards Randwick AMALFI BEACH CLUB POP-UP Hi James - Thought I would drop you a note to share my view on the proposed pop-up Amalfi Beach Club.

As a long time resident of Bondi, a feature I have always enjoyed about this suburb are the pop-up events and venues that come to the area.

Olympic beach volleyball, the original ice-skating venue on the beach, Bowl-a-rama skate comp, the pop-up Grounds venue that came with Sculpture by the Sea and the outdoor cinema nights in Bondi Park.

For me these all contribute to the holiday feel that Bondi has.

COVID has temporarily stopped these set-ups. It would be great to see them begin to come back in various forms, and why not try something new like a beach club?

Cheers, Vincent Bondi THE SEWER Regarding the letter from your February edition, ‘Deadly Sewer For Buses’, I have wondered for a long time why there was no underground connection from the Bondi Junction train station/bus terminal to Oxford Street Mall or Westfield.

I wonder if anyone knows if there was ever an idea to do this, such as Westfield applying for such a tunnel, and if so, why didn’t it happen?

One would think that Westfield would pay a lot to have trainloads of people funneled into such a shopping tunnel and therefore the rest of the shopping centre.

Can anyone who works, or has worked, either at State Rail or Westfield please enlighten us as to the facts or history on this?

And is there still a possibility of something being constructed,

considering the dangerously high volume traffic of people and buses at this juncture?

Norman Bondi Junction COME ON As I flipped to the star signs section of the February 2021 of The Beast, I was genuinely disappointed. In the Gemini section was a deeply homophobic joke about the way some sections of our society have sex. Come on guys! It’s 2021 - discrimination for a cheap laugh is pretty disgusting.

Anthea Randwick COOGEE BAY ROAD Coogee Bay Road is the major access road to Coogee Beach. The implications of losing two-way traffic as a result of the ‘Shared Village’ Project are significant.

Emergency vehicles have been diverted to other streets, delaying responses to incidents and, for ambulances, delaying getting patients to hospital. Bus services too have been diverted, leading to longer journeys for many locals who are dependent on buses.

Spare a thought too for residents whose streets are now congested and who now have to suffer the noise of idling buses and sirens day and night.

Rona Coogee COOGEE'S SHARED VILLAGE PROJECT NEEDED IN BRONTE The successful Shared Village Project in Coogee Bay Road that has created a pedestrian-friendly and business-friendly street prompts thoughts of where else this might work. Perhaps the section of Macpherson Street, Bronte around Three Blue Ducks could benefit as the footpath width is inadequate, particularly during mornings.

Apart from navigating the hordes visiting cafes and queueing for Iggy’s bread, pedestrians contend with rubbish bins, signposts, the bus stop bench and planter boxes. A widening of the footpath or a shared thoroughfare

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similar to the new Notts Avenue pavement in Bondi could be a boon for residents, visitors and retailers. The safety of children would also be enhanced as the existing crossing at St Thomas Street is perilous.

Now that the long-awaited Woolies Metro is about to open, the need for improvements here is even more pressing.

Stephen Kovacs Bronte WHERE ARE CLOVELLY RESIDENTS' RATES GOING? I’ve been in Clovelly a few years now and noticed recently many of the Eastern Suburbs beaches are getting a facelift, especially toilet blocks like Mahon Pool, Maroubra.

When will it be Clovelly’s turn?

At the very least the toilet block needs a facelift, or even a knock down. It is so awful, with a broken door and toilets that never flush.

Considering the amount the government must collect from multi million dollar houses, where’s it all going? On bins... I see!

Rachel Clovelly RUBBISH I am becoming more amazed by Randwick Council’s latest waste treatment project, FOGO. When it was first mentioned I thought it sounded like a reasonable idea.

However, this has morphed into a complete replacement of all rubbish bins irrespective of the condition of the bin, so in our small block we have now received six brand new bins and the ‘old’ (two are less than three months old, and four others that were perfectly serviceable) have been taken away by subcontractors in unmarked trucks to be ‘recycled’.

Our FOGO bin will be arriving soon.

As a ratepayer, I have asked the council what is the cost of this project. Replacing all the bins in this council area must constitute a major expense. At the time of writing, I still have not received a reply.

Obviously Randwick Council must be swimming in excess

16 The Beast March 2021

cash, and this will be reflected in a reduction of our rates in the coming years.

I have lived in the area for 30 years and have admired the financial management and efficiency of the council and its services.

However, in recent years fiscal responsibility seems optional the extra increase of 18 per cent of a few years ago to “speed up” certain projects being a good example.

Councils are elected to manage the area and show fiscal responsibility, or have I missed something?

Steve Coogee ENDANGERED SPECIES I refer to Dave Sharma’s letter to the Sydney Morning Herald, dated January 13, 2021. There is a simple response to his ‘free speech’ message. Governments are halfway to extinction when they start blaming the media for their misfortunes.

Steve Barker Bronte NOT HAPPY, DAN To Annoyed, Coogee (Letters, The Beast, February 2021), whining about Dan’s Murphy customers not wearing masks - All Coles and Woolworths employees are following strict company directives to not mention masks.

This ensures all the self-entitled morons who think ‘mandatory’ does not apply to them do not end up coming to blows with us low income workers.

We are not being paid minimum wage to enforce these laws, so maybe go pick on someone in a higher pay category who is, like a cop.

Lotus Coogee NICE ONE, PAUL Dear Editor - I was wanting to see if anyone else in the Bondi area has found themselves without access to internet infrastructure?

My provider decommissioned the broadband network to my street/building recently due to arrival of the NBN. The same

provider, in addition to my strata manager, also note however that the NBN has not ever been connected to my building in Jacques Avenue due to unresolved problems with the network.

The communications minister, Paul Fletcher, declared the NBN roll out complete last year, yet somehow I live in the middle of metro Sydney and not only don’t have access to the NBN, but have now had my existing broadband disconnected. This is not ideal if anyone has to attempt to work from home in a health pandemic!

Offline Tom Bondi LANTANA Hi James - There’s a thicket of lantana in Queens Park, just down the hill, near the stairs, just south of Edmund Street. If Park staff won’t clear it, maybe it’s us ordinary people who’ll have to attack it?

It’s been declared a noxious weed, a real pest that will spread all over our beloved park. Watch out for the green spiky foliage and orange flower and hack some bits off if you’re passing, or spray it with a weed killer.

Peter West Queens Park BRAVE NEW WORLD The harsh blast of a Marlboro Red dries the back of my throat and a salt infused breeze enlivens my sleep deprived face. Surfers jog past toward the soothing crash of waves and dawn light in the distance. The sun’s rays hit Hotel Bondi, casting a gothic shadow in a scene reminiscent of a 1950s postcard of a far off unknown beach tourist resort a Welsh emigrant might send to his family in the valleys back home. By the trunk of the tree out front is an empty packet of Viagra and perhaps linked to it nearby is a plastic baggie which probably didn’t contain buttons in its history.

My 64-year-old bespectacled neighbour complains her Christmas was shit because her kids won’t let her smoke bongs. Next door a 50-something-year-old guy with a mullet reminisces about

How to FOGO? 2.

1.

Put a green compostable liner into your kitchen caddy.

3.

Place your food scraps into your caddy.

When the liner is full, place it into your FOGO bin.

4.

5.

Place garden waste in your FOGO bin along with your food waste.

Put your FOGO bin out for collection each week and start collecting your food scraps again.

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au/FOGO

his time working on the rigs in Timor. I can hear the tick tock of the blonde Russian woman upstairs’ high heels strutting toward the entrance to the block, and wonder if my mate upstairs has a comparable hangover to me.

I walk toward Shuk café where they know my name, Christmas songs still blasting out. I go to press the button on the pedestrian crossing but no longer need to due to COVID innovations, but briefly wonder if I ever needed to and this was just something the government have now brought to our attention. Two people are hitting pads under the bridge near the COVID testing place. I double take to see if it’s boxercise technique or actual boxing and my smugness is satisfied they know what they are doing. The wind gushes at me and I gaze at the primal image of crashing waves with men dancing on top of them on their surfboards. Such powerful imagery every morning, it’s just as rough out there in the elements as it is in society.

A police riot van sits improbably on the concrete above the beach at 7am. I can hear the heavy breath and smell the sweat of joggers before I see them coming past. Down at muscle beach, bodybuilders in Speedos compare notes on workouts rather than doing any, two women in jeans have rigged up speakers and are doing squats, while one guy has a film crew following him around as he does half a pull-up. A surfer with boardies comes over and asks if he can sit next to me and we begin to solve the world’s problems, him a golf instructor, me a former aid worker turned cynic.

I see an older guy who hangs out at my boxing gym with his skateboard sitting on the grass.

He has a hat on, a singlet showing giant arms that look like they have killed crocodiles, shorts, a shark tooth necklace and a tropical shirt. Where he goes every day I am not sure, but I’ve been meaning to try and find out his story for some time now. A group of older men sit on a bench near

the bridge, I see them every day and it makes me happy that community still exists in this strange new world.

Coming up to new year, I’ve realised the importance of community to the fabric of society.

Timor Leste excelled at having strong communities and that’s something the developed world has lost sight of. Being evacuated from Timor Leste in March where the pandemic hadn’t fully hit into an Australia I didn’t recognise and a lockdown I wasn’t prepared for was a surreal experience.

Masked officials, fines because you didn’t have a valid reason to be out of the house, enforced quarantine. Like an Aldous Huxley novel without the mescaline to ease the ride. As the new year approaches and people are emerging into a new ‘normal’ world I hope Australian communities grow in resilience and connectedness so they can support each other better in good times and bad.

Matthew Bondi

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LOLLIPOP LADIES The legend that controls the zebra crossing on Arden Street outside of St Anthony’s is our person of the month.

COMMUNITY RADIO Get around independent online radio station Bondi Beach Radio, as well as The Sydney Sound Show on 2RRRFM each Saturday from 6-8pm, for a genuine dose of grassroots Sydney tunes.

THUMBS DOWN PAPER STRAWS The environmental benefit doesn’t outweigh the cost if you can’t actually consume your beverage.

EQUIFAX These arseholes can totally ruin your life if you’re trying to borrow money and forgot to pay a phone bill in a past life.

SNIPERS Receiving a fine in the mail care of a sly parking ranger you spotted hiding in a bush is a day ruiner.

SHIT DRIVERS Those arrogant wankers who don’t know how to merge fairly deserve to be run off the road and into a tree (gently).

March 2021 The Beast 19

Bondi Beach in the 1890s, with the original 1887 stink pipe in the background and brush fencing to try and manage the unstable sand dunes.

Council Calls for More Control Over Development Rant Duncan Horscroft Photo Hello Bondi The Eastern Suburbs is in the midst of a development blitz and old family homes which once stood proud are being replaced with architecturallydesigned monoliths.

Bondi Junction is now a mini-metropolis with high-rise buildings towering into the skyline - and there’s more to come.

But Waverley councillor Dominic Wy Kanak is concerned there could be more instances like Mascot Towers and Opal Tower due to the lack of control and supervision surrounding the building work.

Waverley and other councils no longer have control, due to the state planning law which has created a private certification system that excludes councils’ regulatory officers from the capacity to oversee standards.

And it’s not the big buildings that have come under the spotlight. The recent partial collapse 20 The Beast March 2021

of a home in Curlewis Street, Bondi highlighted the lack of supervision on the site as there was no effective support on the existing building prior to excavation.

There were also incidents on sites in nearby Lamrock Avenue and Gilgandra Road.

“I will be calling on Council in its forthcoming revision of the Local Environment Plan (LEP) to prohibit basement excavation in the sands of the Bondi Basin,” Cr Kanak said.

“There have been too many collapses of buildings adjacent to excavations.”

“There are no mandatory qualifications for certifiers or engineers (and) Council can only intervene at a site when safety issues are involved.”

“Prohibiting excavation in dangerous grounds is the only solution until certification is independent, preferably public,

and there is a rigorous professional standards body which can hear complaints without the expense of legal action.”

He said the NSW Government Public Accountability Committee inquiry into the regulation of building standards, quality and disputes had amended its terms of reference including case studies on Mascot Towers and Opal Tower.

There was a recommendation that the state government establish a Professional Engineers Registration Scheme for the building industry which resulted from community, local council and expert submissions to the committee about unregulated building practices.

The committee also recommended the state government speed up its response to the recommendations about refining the building and construction practices.

“Problems resulting from the house collapse in Curlewis Street may well have been avoided if the parliamentary committee’s safeguarding recommendations were in place sooner,” Cr Kanak said.

The land on which the Curlewis Street house stands is part of the original sand belt which ran from Bondi through to Rose Bay before the suburb had literally emerged from the sandhills.

Most of the original houses on the sand belt have stood the test of time mainly due to the strict building practices Waverley Council had in place at the time of construction.

“The Curlewis Street location is also on the border of the Bondi-Rose Bay Sandbody identified in the 2009 Waverley Aboriginal Heritage Study as having the potential to unearth significant artefacts and even remains, as Aboriginal burials have been found on nearby Royal Sydney Golf Course,” Cr Kanak said.

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March 2021 The Beast 21

Handsome devils.

Bronte Icon Hits Screens Across Australia Words Nicola Smith Photo Yael Stempler Two local filmmakers have teamed up with three chefs from Bronte’s Three Blue Ducks to take foodies across Australia in a new documentary series, airing on Channel 10 this month.

Three Blue Ducks follows chefs Andy Allen, Mark LaBrooy and Darren Robertson as they travel across Australia discovering new produce and local specialties, transforming them into dishes fit for any Eastern Suburbs upmarket eatery.

Series producer and creator Liam Taylor grew up in Bronte and said that the show was a great insight into the minds of three of Australia’s most creative chefs.

“Their business has really thrived since they started ten years ago, but they’re by no means massive, and I think that’s by design,” Mr Taylor explained.

22 The Beast March 2021

“They’re very strict with their values, and that’s why we did a lot of workshopping to try and produce something authentic that represents who they are and what they stand for.”

Each episode follows the three chefs to a new part of Australia where they try new foods and create a dish based around them. The dishes are then trialled as part of their specials menu with the most successful dishes set to join the Ducks’ menu long-term.

Andy Allen, also a judge on MasterChef Australia, as well as a former contest winner, said that the trip produced plenty of culinary inspiration for the chefs.

“Having three weeks to just immerse ourselves in food, chatting about food, thinking about food and hanging out, produced some really amazing

dishes that we wouldn’t have been able to make otherwise,” he told The Beast.

Three Blue Ducks began as a local café on Macpherson Street, Bronte and now boasts over five locations including Rosebery and Byron Bay, as well as multiple cookbooks and product offerings. They operate under a shared belief in delicious sustainable foods shared in a local community.

Mr Taylor’s co-creator and executive producer is Ben Davies, who is also the brains behind Bondi Rescue.

Their latest venture also emphasises the importance of telling Aussie stories.

“It’s so important to tell local stories. Three Blue Ducks is very aspirational, but also accessible and really grounded in strong values that a lot of Australians share like sustainability, supporting local businesses and getting into the outdoors,” Mr Taylor said.

Mr Allen said that the show has also helped forge the next stage in the Three Blue Ducks story, reminding them of the importance of enjoying the food they make for others.

“We will all make a really strong effort to catch up and explore, because the food that we make when we’re together is really different from when just one of us goes away to research.

You can really see a piece of each of us in every dish,” he told The Beast.

Mr Taylor believes that it is the Ducks’ genuine love for food and each other that makes the show a great one to watch.

“The bottom line is they make unbelievably tasty food and are just such a laugh to be around, and people really connect with that,” Mr Taylor said.

Three Blue Ducks is produced by Ronde Media and is currently screening on Channel 10 on Saturdays at 7pm.

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March 2021 The Beast 23

Controversial.

Four-Hour Parking Limits to Ease Beach Gridlock Words Gary Larson Photo Monty Tait Randwick Council has introduced four-hour parking time limits at beachside streets and car parks to ease traffic congestion and guard against COVIDunsafe beach crowds.

“The change will promote higher turnover within our coastal car parks and local streets and increase the opportunity to find parking. It will also prevent people from parking all day long, yet still allow enough time for a good trip to the beach,” Council explained.

Introduction of the four-hour zones follows severe weekend traffic congestion and parking issues, with no parking available from as early as 8am.

As well as easing the traffic and parking nightmares, the move is aimed at reducing the 24 The Beast March 2021

risk of COVID transmission on beaches, promoting turnover so beachgoers can remain the recommended towel’s length apart.

The move has not gone down well with many residents, especially those on Marine Parade, Maroubra, who have lashed out at the council on Facebook. They make the case that residents who do not have parking on their properties will have to go out and move their cars during the day.

What if they want to leave their cars on the street when they’re at work, and what about the cooler months when parking isn’t an issue?

The consensus, among Facebook users at least, seems to be that it is a hastily-conceived idea carried out with very lit-

tle in the way of community consultation.

“This could have been done much better,” said Marine Parade resident Mark Mamrot.

“Resident permit passes are needed. Residents will be pushing out into back streets and moving their cars every four hours, adding to local congestion.”

With the new four-hour limit also being imposed on the two beachside car parks at Maroubra, it’s not just residents who are affected.

“The limit on the two main Maroubra car parks presents a problem for lifesavers and the two surf clubs!!!” posted George Cassimatis on Facebook.

Support for the reduced parking came from Marine Parade resident Simon Kennedy.

“Four-hour parking is a good idea. At peak times, Maroubra Beach and surrounding suburbs are jammed with cars,” he told The Beast.

Mr Kennedy said the new limit would also deter businesses on Marine Parade from hogging parking spots for trade promotions “There’s a real estate agent on Marine Parade who has had a billboard on top of a trailer 24/7,” he said.

In Clovelly, meanwhile, residents seem overwhelmingly opposed to the four-hour limit.

“Many Clovelly residents are very unhappy!” exclaimed Nicole Sturpak.

Ms Sturpak’s comments were echoed by Lorraine Mead.

“We put our objections in to this and never got a reply back, most residents at Clovelly object to this,” she said.

Not surprisingly, the new parking limit has not been well-received by the people it is aimed at either - non-locals.

Surfer Jared Oriel (pictured) of Surry Hills summed it up in two words: “Fun police!”

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Paddington's charming Five Ways.

The Year of Paddington Words Nicola Smith Photo James Horan To acknowledge the once-ina-lifetime overlap between year and postcode, 2021 has officially been labelled the Year of Paddington, with an upcoming event on Thursday, March 25 set to celebrate the thriving cultural and retail centre of Sydney’s east (this doesn’t mean that 2022 will be the Year of Bondi Junction).

A 2021 Night Out will be hosted by Woollahra and City of Sydney Councils, as well as the Paddington Business Partnership. The event will run from 4-8pm throughout the leafy suburb famous for its terraced laneways, artsy venues and chic independent businesses, which will remain open after hours to give locals and visitors the full Paddington experience.

Woollahra Mayor Susan Wynne told The Beast that Paddington is an important cultural hub for the Eastern Suburbs.

“There really is nowhere else like Paddington,” Mayor Wynne explained, “from being an internationally recognised fashion destination, through to its renowned pubs, restaurants and cafes, coupled with its 26 The Beast March 2021

beautifully preserved heritage streetscapes and village feel - it truly is unique.”

Paddington was a key retail destination in the late 20th century but experienced a decline in the early 2000s, which has been partly attributed to the new Westfield Bondi Junction.

But the suburb has experienced somewhat of a renaissance, with rows of ‘For Lease’ signs replaced with independent labels, boutique bars and cafes in recent years. Woollahra Council hopes that Paddington businesses will continue to thrive.

Christine Guerriero of Blinq Art on Oxford Street said that they moved the business to Paddington because the area was a vibrant place for artists.

“This space really suits our business; its bright, the neighbourhood is really nice, there are lots of boutiques and it’s much more of a cultural zone here,” Ms Guerriero told The Beast.

Lee Morgan, the NSW Manager of Jardan, a designer furniture store on Oxford Street, echoed Ms Guerriero’s sentiments.

“We are so happy Jardan found it’s home in Paddington. Oxford Street was always known for its unique shopping experience, drawing people to connect with brands and enjoy boutiques and curated showrooms rather than getting lost in malls,” Ms Morgan said.

Since most Paddington brands are smaller, local offerings, Ms Guerriero believes they need extra support from locals.

“It’s important to support small businesses in this time, and the thing about Paddington is that it’s a whole experience coming here - it’s a very European type of shopping experience, which is a great change when you can’t travel,” she said.

Emma Howard, who also works at Blinq Art, added that Paddington businesses aren’t as hard to access from the Eastern Beaches as people might think.

“A lot of people are scared off because they think they can’t park around here but I always find it easy to get a spot near the shops,” Ms Howard said.

A 2021 Night Out will bring much-needed exposure and support at an important time when many businesses are still grappling with the fallout from 2020 COVID restrictions.

Mayor Wynne told The Beast that, most of all, the event will be a celebration of one of Sydney’s most vibrant and historic locales.

“It’s a special and vibrant area that’s worth celebrating, and that is what A 2021 Night Out is all about. I’m looking forward to joining visitors for a great event showcasing the best our local businesses have to offer,” she said.

A 2021 Night Out will be held throughout Paddington on Thursday, March 25 from 4-8pm. For more information, visit visitpaddington.com/ nightout.

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the go while I was growing up, so when the kids at school started asking me to draw for them, I knew I was a bit different.

Any other local artists to look out for? @painter_be has an ability to shift his art stylistically across various mediums, and @wedreaminpictures has really mastered her style and embodies her art.

No excuses.

Local Artist: Yasmin Shima from Bondi Interview James Hutton Photo Daia Larie Insta @daialarie Introducing Bondi’s Yasmin Shima, the local artist behind this month’s cover painting...

How long have you lived here?

Pretty much my whole life. My grandmother lived in Bondi, so our weekends were spent playing on Bondi Beach and watching Hey Hey It’s Saturday.

Why do you live here? The beautiful beaches, coastal lifestyle, vibrant community, great food and coffee, and waking up each day on one of the best coastlines in the world.

What's your favourite beach?

Bondi will always have a place in my heart. Mackenzies is also a favourite.

What's your favourite eatery?

Shuk has the most delicious menu and bakery.

Where do you like to have a drink? Rumba is the only place in Bondi that has retained it’s charm after years of rapid gentrification. I love the crew and mezcal there. It reminds me of being in bars in Mexico, sipping on a margarita, not a worry in the world.

28 The Beast March 2021

How would you describe your art? Evolving. My work is figurative. I love painting portraits and animals using acrylics, oil and mixed media. My work reflects my free-spirited nature and inquisitive mind; it’s considered yet spontaneous, and I often create imagery around romantic notions or subjects I want to highlight.

Where can people see your work? My Instagram profile @shimaartprojects is where I showcase my work. I also host Paint & Sip classes at Bondi Beach Public Bar, WeMake Studio and in my Bondi studio. I offer a mobile service so people can book me to host a paint class anywhere, anytime, and I teach kids how to paint too.

Who are your artistic inspirations? I am most inspired by artists I’ve found on social media, @dimitramilan and @badwaycreative. I enjoy viewing the work of contemporary artists like Craig Ruddy, Robson, Fintan Magee and Herakut.

When did you discover you had a gift for your craft? My grandfather was a gifted artist and my father always had a painting on

Did you study art? I’ve been selftaught since I started painting again after a 20-year break, and I just commenced formal training with The Milan Art Institute (USA).

Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists? Find artists who inspire you and follow their story and process. Watch and learn from the pros, then practise a lot. Learn how to use paint and tools correctly. Create good habits with your studio keep your brushes clean, paints organised and studio space clear and inspiring. Move old work to encourage new. Stay committed and curious, push through creative roadblocks and don’t let defeat get you. Create, even when you don’t feel ‘inspired’.

Stick to your craft like you would a job. Schedule time to create, even if you have a busy lifestyle.

Excuses are the death of creation and progress.

Do you have a favourite quote?

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” - Pablo Picasso Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Make time to do something you love. Learn a new skill or pick up something you forgot you enjoyed. Being creative allows us to move away from linear left brain thinking and into the right hemisphere where your mind can flow freely without any distractions. It’s a form of meditation to help quiet the mind and open up to imagination, innovation and a world of possibility.

This summer we need to do things a little differently.

Beach busy?

Cool off without the crowd.

Spread kindness not germs!

Probably a write-off.

Alleged Crimes of the East Words Gary Larson Gas bottle causes car explosion A man was injured when a gas bottle exploded in his car parked at the south end of Maroubra Beach. Police said it was a self-harm attempt.

Miraculously, the 63-year-old man did not suffer much in the way of harm. He escaped with minor burns when the gas bottle exploded with huge force as he sat in the driver seat. An ambulance took him to hospital.

The explosion destroyed the vehicle, blowing out the windows, bending the doors and launching the boot lid into the air.

TV presenter charged with assault Andrew O’Keefe, host of the Seven Network quiz show The Chase Australia, has been charged with assaulting a woman in a Randwick unit.

Police said 41-year-old Dr Orly Lavee “had allegedly been assaulted in a domestic violence related incident.” The offence is said to have taken place in the early hours of the morning.

O’Keefe, 49, was arrested at 3.30am in a street near the unit. He was taken to Maroubra Police Station where he was charged with common assault and granted conditional bail to appear at Waverley Court.

Police applied for a provisional 30 The Beast March 2021

apprehended violence order which prohibits O’Keefe from approaching or contacting Dr Lavee, a haematologist at St Vincent’s Hospital.

A former lawyer and son of a NSW Supreme Court judge, O’Keefe was a founder and one-time chairman of domestic violence charity the White Ribbon Foundation.

Manhunt over Coogee stabbing Police have released the description of a man believed responsible for a frenzied knife attack in a Coogee unit.

Police say the man demanded money before launching his attack on the 33-year-old male occupant of the Mount Street unit. His victim did not hand over any money and the knifeman fled. The stabbed man was rushed to hospital where he underwent multiple emergency surgeries for wounds to his stomach, back and arms.

Officers from Eastern Beaches Police Area Command attended and established a crime scene which was examined by specialist forensic police.

Investigators believe the man used a ride-share service to attend and leave Mount Street and are treating the incident as targeted.

Police describe the attacker as being of Mediterranean/Middle Eastern appearance, aged in his early 20s, between 170cm and 180cm tall, of medium build, with short black hair that is shaved on the sides and back.

Alleged paedophile appears in court A 38-year-old Bondi man has appeared in court charged with four counts of indecently assaulting a young boy.

Police alleged in Waverley Court that the man indecently assaulted his victim - then aged between nine and 12 - on several occasions between 2014 and 2016.

Tigers go wild outside pub Wests Tigers players Zane Musgrove and AJ Kepaoa were arrested after allegedly abusing police outside the Coogee Bay Hotel in the early hours of the morning.

Officers attended the pub at around 3am and spoke to security guards who had refused entry to several people.

“Police spoke to a group of people outside, directing them to leave the vicinity when two men allegedly became abusive, refusing to do so,” police said.

Musgrove, 24, and Kepaoa, 20, were arrested and taken to Maroubra Police Station. Both were released without charge but Kepaoa copped a $550 onthe-spot fine for remaining in the vicinity of a licensed premises after being excluded.

Lock your car and don’t leave valuables inside Eastern Suburbs Police have noticed a recent increase in thefts from parked vehicles.

Suburbs targeted include Watsons Bay, Bondi and North Bondi, Bondi Junction, Queens Park and Centennial Park.

Police urge drivers to take the following steps when they park: • Lock up every time.

• Never leave valuables in your vehicle.

• Park in a safe, well-lit area close to your destination.

Report all thefts to the Police Assistance Line on 131 444 or via the online Community Portal at portal.police.nsw.gov.au.

Alarming find The Bomb Squad was called in after a suspicious-looking apparatus was reported in a garbage bin outside a home on Anzac Parade, Maroubra.

Anzac Parade was closed as bomb disposal specialists wearing Kevlar vests approached the device, which turned out to be… two discarded smoke alarms.

Better to be safe than sorry!

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

Randwick News While the official months of summer have drawn to a close, there are still warm days ahead to enjoy our outdoor spaces. Our outdoor staff work hard, rising before the sun to clean our beaches, parks, reserves and amenities so they’re ready for the thousands of visitors we welcome each day. I think they do a fantastic job and want to acknowledge their hard work. If you see them while you’re out and about give them a smile and a wave.

I also want to thank our waste services team who have overseen the roll out of our new FOGO service, which started on Monday 1 March. Every household will have received their new green lid FOGO bin, which accepts all food scraps and garden waste, as well as a new kitchen caddy and compostable bags.

You can keep the caddy in the kitchen, line it with one of the green compostable bags we have given you and fill it with food scraps, including leftovers, takeaway food, bones, dairy or even used paper towels. When full, tie the bag and take it out to your green lid bin. We’ll collect and empty this bin every week now. All FOGO waste will be taken to a facility that will turn it into nutrient-rich compost.

You can pick up new supplies of compostable bags free of charge at our Libraries, Recycling Centre or Admin Centre in Randwick. If you have any other questions, head to our website and look for our FOGO FAQs. Thanks for being part of this fantastic new initiative. Together, we’re looking after our environment and preserving it for the next generation.

Councillor Danny Said Mayor of Randwick 1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

What’s On 3 MARCH SPARK IN THE PARK (FOR AGES 0-3)

10am – Noon Randwick Community Centre Free, bookings are essential

EVERY THURSDAY CHESS CLUB FOR ADULTS 1.30pm-3pm Lionel Bowen Library, Maroubra

7 MARCH CLEAN UP AUSTRALIA DAY

Various times, various suburbs

EVERY FRIDAY REGEN WORKSHOP SERIES

Setting sustainability goals 1.30pm – 2.30pm Online via Zoom

25 MARCH DUNNINGHAM RESERVE BUSHCARE

9am – 11am 5-7 Major Street, Coogee

Look out.

Dogs Under Attack at Mackenzies Bay Satire Kieran Blake, www.kieranblakewriter.com Photo Andy Pipkin Dogs at Mackenzies Bay are under attack after Waverley Council approved plans to construct a park for SUVs at the tiny beach.

The news has angered pet owners who resent the intrusion of off-road drivers into a space they are not allowed to use.

The showdown is set to rival the most brutal and bloody sporting contests in history after months of bickering between the parties on social media.

An SUV driver sparked the conflict with a simple remark.

“An SUV would crush a little pooch,” to which a pet owner replied, “A medium-sized pet dog has the same carbon footprint as an SUV.” From that point it was on.

The beachside fight will take place with no regard for social distancing or health concerns, and will begin as soon as Council completes the construction of the SUV facilities.

An access road will plough through Gaerloch Reserve, across the coastal path and onto the rocks, and a boat ramp will 32 The Beast March 2021

be a launching site for jet skis.

Hoses will allow drivers to wash the sand, oil, motor fluids and other debris straight into the ocean. Council has also opened a tender for a car wash café to be built on the site, but pet owners reminded drivers they have taken over every café in the Eastern Suburbs.

Vitriolic pre-fight tension included many tense exchanges.

“SUVs will scare away the sunbathers, we’ll have it all to ourselves,” said one SUV enthusiast.

“But dogs scare coastal birds away, and many of them never come back to this resting spot,” replied a dog owner.

“We’ll rip a hole in this beach with our circle work.”

“Just watch our pets damage native and planted vegetation with their digging.”

“Slip, slop, slap with motor oil.”

“Yeah, well SUVs don’t poo, but dog faeces alters the coastal soil’s nutrient profile.”

“That’s right, and our dogs will destroy the original soil and

the ability of remnant native vegetation to regenerate.”

Pooch parents reminded the drivers that most owners pick up after their dogs, before one of their members admitted to never scooping up a soggy dropping from a rock pool, and claimed that the natural tides of the bay wash away everything anyway.

The dirty drivers then boasted, “Stormwater run-off closes beaches for days.”

“Faecal contamination impacts the health of swimmers and surfers at Mackenzies Bay and Tamarama Beach, and this pollution will disrupt sensitive marine biodiversity,” came the counter attack.

Meanwhile, Waverley Council promised that rangers will ensure the fight does not detract from the experience of other beachgoers, and boasted that the showdown will be great live entertainment for people on the coastal walk.

“Just like an animated Sculpture by the Sea,” they chuckled.

Waverley Council Update Mayor’s Message

Bondi Story Room Waverley Council and TZG architects are working with an industry leader in museum experience design to help develop and deliver a design for the Bondi Story Room, a collection of three spaces in Bondi Pavilion. Our vision for the Story Room is to showcase and celebrate our Indigenous culture, current cultural events/attractions, surfing history and culture, multiculturalism in Waverley, local history and our local environment. The inclusion of a Bondi Story Room in the Bondi Pavilion restoration, which is on track to come in on budget and on time, came out of previous consultation feedback and the Bondi Pavilion Stakeholder Committee.

To ensure the Story Room incorporates the history, events and personalities you think are important, we are seeking community feedback via haveyoursay.waverley. nsw.gov.au/bondipavilion or bondistoryroom@waverley. nsw.gov.au

Express your interest for leasing opportunities in Bondi Pavilion.

Bondi Pavilion commercial tenancies Waverley Council is seeking to appoint a vibrant mix of commercial tenants to operate from Bondi Pavilion, which is on track to come in on budget and on time, when the building reopens either later this year or early next year. We want to attract providers who will relish being part of the fabric of a heritage building and whose offerings compliments the needs of people who live, work and visit Bondi. Expressions of interest (EOI) close 3 March for a retail tenancy (shop 2) and food and beverage operator (shop 3) on the ground floor at the northern end of the building. To apply, visit tenderlink.com/Waverley

Arden Street upgrade In February, Council is due to start construction on our safety upgrade of Arden Street, Bronte.

The upgrade will improve pedestrian crossing signals, widen the footpath, install

kerb treatments to slow traffic, formalise the school bus zone outside Clovelly Public School and bus stop, and install new planting/ landscaping.

For more, visit waverley.nsw. gov.au/ardenstsafetyupgrade

Marlborough Reserve Playground In February, Council is due to begin its upgrade of the reserve in Arden Street, Bronte.

The upgrade is expected to be completed in May and will include demolition of the old playground and installation of new playground equipment, rubber softfall and imaginative play spaces. We’re also installing new garden beds and trees including a 4.5metre fig tree.

There will be new park furniture and improved pedestrian access into the playground. For more, visit waverley.nsw.gov.au/ marlboroughreserve Paula Masselos, Mayor of Waverley

Ph: 9083 8000 | waverley.nsw.gov.au | Stay in touch: waverley.nsw.gov.au/subscribe Updates for Coronavirus COVID-19: waverley.nsw.gov.au/coronavirus

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Get jabbed.

The Unreliable Guide To...

Vax or Not to Vax Words Nat Shepherd Photo Andrew Wakefield Ok, this is not a discussion about whether or not you should get your children vaccinated against measles, etc.

That’s not a question, it’s a no-brainer, so go and do it you muppet. This is about the new, very new, range of COVID-19 vaccinations heading our way.

2020 was a scary year and 2021 seems to be offering an injectable solution, but should we trust these vaccines? Which one should we go for if we have a choice? Feeling overwhelmed?

Scared by social media misinformation? Never fear, The Unreliable Guide is here to walk you through some of the COVID-19 vaccine questions you might have.

How did they get a vaccine so quickly?

Before COVID-19, infectious disease vaccines took several years to develop, test and verify.

The first COVID vaccines were out within ten months and this has fuelled some pretty bizarre conspiracy theories. I won’t bother repeating them here, because they are mental and the truth is far more exciting.

The vaccines were fast-tracked by an unprecedented, international co-operation of scientists, coupled with a tsunami of 34 The Beast March 2021

research funding from individuals, governments, international health organisations and the multinational pharmaceutical industry. By June 2020, tens of billions of dollars had been pledged. The Oxford researchers went from worrying about the gas bill to chartering a private jet to pick up some Italian virus samples. In addition, the scientists did not start from scratch. Although there was no human vaccine, vaccines were already available against several animal diseases caused by coronaviruses. Scientists around the world built on that knowledge and worked their nerdy cotton socks off. Then thousands of brave volunteers acted as guinea pigs to test the safety of the new vaccines. Legends. This is the power we have when we work together.

Which vaccine should I choose?

You probably won’t get to choose, but at the time of writing nine vaccines around the world have been approved, with another twenty-six candidates still under trial. The muchheralded Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine was approved for Australia at the end of January, but ultimately most of us are more likely to be given the No-

vavax or Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccines. Why? Because we can produce these more traditional vaccines here in Australia, they are cheaper, plus they are happy being stored at an easily achievable minus 2-8°C. This means they are much easier to care for and distribute than the Pfizer vaccine which requires a frosty minus 70°C and has to be imported because messenger RNA (mRNA) vaccines are a super-new way of immunising.

Confused? Not surprising. This situation seems to change by the day, but speak to your GP not some random on Twitter or Facebook.

Why should I bother?

If you’re young, you may think there’s no point in getting immunised because COVID won’t affect you. Wrong. If we want any semblance of normal life around the world we need to fight this virus together. Don’t care about grandma kicking the bucket and just want to party like it’s 2019? Fine. Get vaccinated, or international travel, clubbing, festivals and proper raging house parties will be on and off the menu for a very long time.

Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests we remember that we are extremely lucky. We have very few cases here and our government can afford to vaccinate all of us. But the only lasting response to a pandemic is a global one. WHO directorgeneral, Dr. Tedros, believes the unequal distribution of vaccines means, “The world is on the brink of a catastrophic moral failure.” With the world death rate rising exponentially and the lasting effects of COVID as yet unknown, I for one will be offering up my upper arm to the vaccine needle and supporting the Covax global vaccine access scheme.

THURSDAY 11TH MARCH 4–8PM Join us for A Rose Bay Evening as we celebrate all things Rose Bay in your local village. You can enjoy a family picnic in Pannerong Reserve listening to live music or wander the high street for some great specials and roving buskers.

Bring the family along and support your local community as we Live, Love Local Rose Bay. Visit livelovelocalrosebay.com.au

This event is proudly supported by Woollahra Municipal Council

Maroubra's finest.

Making Music: Mordor Words Alasdair McClintock Photo Ethan Davis There is a stigma amongst regular folk that metal bands are made up of strange, aggressive beings, who spend a lot of time indoors. This is untrue, most of them aren’t aggressive. Mordor kick the other stereotypes too though, being a friendly pack of youngsters who love the ocean as much as their music.

Growing up in Maroubra will do that to you, as all the members did. The five-piece is made up of Zac Michael (vocals), Kain Zulian and Dan Tyson (guitars), Khava Black (bass) and Monty Tait (drums). They started out, as so many bands do, after a “countless amount of drinks” in mid-2019, when they played a few songs together and thought it would be fun to start a band.

Mordor was then formed.

Named, as you might have guessed, after the evil realm of Sauron in Lord of the Rings.

The band explained, “Khava 36 The Beast March 2021

and Monty are geeks and like Lord of the Rings. The rest of us hadn’t seen or read it, but the name sounded cool when Khava said it. It sounded dark and evil, which we all knew was the direction we would take.”

While there is a definite darkness to their sound, to call them evil or straight up metal would do them an injustice (even if they might disagree). They list Tool, Black Sabbath, Grinspoon and Nine Inch Nails amongst their influences, and a few of their tracks have distinctly postpunk vibes, including ‘House of Lies’, which fans of early AtThe-Drive-In would particularly warm to.

Presently, they have only a few DIY self-mixed demo recordings available on Triple J Unearthed, but the band do have plans to record in the future, just not immediately.

As they said themselves, “We

have a couple of new songs in the pipeline but if you want to hear them you’ll have to come to a gig. We probably won’t be recording any time soon.”

With that in mind, gigs are definitely head of the agenda in 2021. The band spent much of 2020 honing their live show and responded, “Playing as many gigs as we can and maybe releasing an album we are all proud of,” to the question of what the ideal future would hold for Mordor. You can follow them on the usual socials to find out where they’re playing next.

As for their thoughts on the state of music in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs?

“There’s heaps of potential for some people to do some cool things. It would be fun if we all got together and did a festival around here.” Not a bad idea, is it?

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Huffin' and Puffin'.

To Discuss or Argue?

Words Jeremy Ireland Photo James Gribble Have you ever had an argument where you felt you were right and the other person was just plain wrong? Maybe it was over a simple thing like whose turn it was to take out the garbage, or perhaps something a little heavier like having a go at a stranger for not wearing a mask.

Conflict is a fact of life.

Furthermore, from a romantic stand point, you are more likely to have an argument with your partner than anyone else, and the icing on the cake is the longer you have known your special someone, the greater the chance of experiencing conflict simply because you spend more time with them, know more about one another and expect more from each other.

Conflict often involves anger, which is a subjective, emotional experience. Anger is a feeling, and like any emotion it has the ability to physically arouse you.

Your thoughts, perception and the things you notice around you all change when you experience an emotion.

Why does one get angry?

People tend to get mad when their expectations are violated.

If you’re expecting someone to 38 The Beast March 2021

behave a certain way and they don’t you get angry. You may feel justified about your anger, I mean, WTF, how dare that dog owner let his Groodle shit on my lawn and not pick it up?!

Dog turds aside, the only person who can make you angry is you. Like all emotions, anger is created by your cognitions.

It’s a thought process and a perception that is creating the emotional response - an interpretation, if you like. Your feelings result from the meaning you give the event, not from the event itself, so what we have is an ‘external’ event - the actions of other people - and an ‘internal’ event - the way we think about their actions. The important thing to realise here is that the external event is not within your control, but you can control how you react to it. Our thoughts directly affect the way we feel, and how we feel directly affects the way we behave. So, it is us who have the ability to control the anger depending how much meaning we give to what the other person has done.

Here’s an example of our ‘thoughts, feelings, behaviour’ model. Say you see someone

throw a cigarette butt on the ground. If you think, ‘That guy’s an ignorant jerk, how dare he do that?’ your feelings might turn to anger, which impacts your behaviour and results in you telling him off. If we think differently about the event we could have a different outcome.

If you thought, ‘He was going to do that anyway, he probably doesn’t even realise he’s littering,’ then you are placing less meaning on the event because you have changed the way you have thought about it, resulting in less anger.

If the event is a little more serious and you feel you have been genuinely wronged it’s worth considering that impulsive outburst of anger will eventually defeat you in the long-term. Is the pain and suffering you are inflicting upon yourself exceeding the impact of the original insult?

The best way to deal with someone who is really giving you the shits is to negotiate.

First, we should stop, breathe and think. Instead of telling them off, compliment them on what they did right and then tactfully mention the problem.

Then, agree with them regardless of how much you think they’re wrong. This will disarm them and take the wind from their sails. Then you immediately pounce and clarify your point of view, calmly and firmly.

So is it healthy to let off steam? I’ll sit on the fence, but anger ultimately leads to self-defeating behaviour and negative impacts on stress and health. By dumping the anger you dump the irritability you’re harnessing, you’ll become more productive, experience liberation and be at peace. Amen.

Have you got a question?

Please contact Jeremy at bondicounsellingservices.com.

March 2021 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Photo Zac Coonan Monday 1 0420 1040 1703 2311

0.33 1.89 0.23 1.65

8 0503 1203 1805 2333

1.64 0.51 1.23 0.68

15 0417 1030 1644 2253

0.47 1.65 0.43 1.57

Wednesday

Thursday

2 0511 0.34 1126 1.81 1744 0.28 2357 1.68

3 0604 0.37 1215 1.68 1826 0.36

4 0045 0702 1307 1911

1.68 0.43 1.53 0.46

5 0139 0808 1406 2001

1.67 0.50 1.37 0.57

6 0239 0924 1519 2104

1.64 0.55 1.25 0.65

9 0611 1.68 1305 0.45 1906 1.30

10 0038 0709 1354 1954

0.62 1.73 0.40 1.38

11 0132 0758 1435 2035

0.55 1.77 0.36 1.44

12 0219 0841 1512 2113

0.50 1.78 0.35 1.50

13 0300 0920 1545 2147

16 0455 1104 1712 2325

17 0533 1139 1740 2359

0.53 1.48 0.53 1.57

18 0615 0.58 1215 1.39 1809 0.60

19 0035 0700 1257 1844

1.55 0.63 1.30 0.67

25 0000 0625 1310 1915

26 0053 0714 1351 1956

0.60 1.74 0.38 1.48

0.50 1.57 0.48 1.58

•

23 0422 1.48 1127 0.66 1732 1.17 2257 0.79

24 0530 1.54 1224 0.57 1830 1.26

•

30 0408 1020 1630 2246

31 0501 1111 1713 2333

22 0311 1.46 1015 0.71 1612 1.13 2140 0.82 29 0318 0932 1550 2201

Tuesday

0.32 1.88 0.24 1.79

0.28 1.82 0.27 1.85

Summer scenes at Bronte.

0.28 1.72 0.35 1.87

0.71 1.64 0.47 1.36

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

•

7 0348 1047 1645 2219

0.47 1.76 0.36 1.53

•

14 0339 0.46 0957 1.71 1615 0.39 2220 1.56

20 0117 0754 1345 1926

1.52 0.68 1.21 0.74

21 0208 0900 1449 2024

1.48 0.71 1.15 0.80

27 0142 0800 1430 2037

0.49 1.83 0.30 1.59

28 0230 0845 1510 2118

0.39 1.88 0.25 1.70

1.63 0.55 1.20 0.70

Moons

• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter

Get up off your arse.

Looking After Each Other and Ourselves Words Dr Marjorie O'Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Oliver Sjöström We all understand the importance of looking after others, whether it’s someone immediately dependent upon us or a stranger that we’ve never met.

It is very obvious that a shared community value here in the Eastern Suburbs is to not only care for those within our immediate circle, but to reach out to the broader community and offer support.

We see this every day in the multitude of planned and random behaviours easily observed in our community including, but certainly not limited to, the escorting of children to school, the delivery of food to those in need, whole lines of cars which allow others to integrate with theirs regardless of ‘right of way’ and the growing network of online local groups offering free help and resources to the community.

Importantly, it must be acknowledged that our frontline workers in health, community, 40 The Beast March 2021

education and other sectors have borne the brunt of looking after others at their own risk for the past year now.

The question remains as to whether we are adequately looking after ourselves and hence others. We are well aware of the platitudes which invite us to invest in ourselves in order to be able to fulfil our responsibilities to others. We moderate our behaviours, eat our vegetables, make sure we have sufficient sleep and engage in further education. Many of us engage in regular exercise, and those who do often cite the benefits both physically and emotionally, yet we know that most of us do not do as much exercise as we should and this haunts us.

There are many in our community who are seriously resource deprived in terms of exercise because their only exercise was a function of their work or social activity; exercise was always incidental to their

other activities and was never an end in itself (which was the norm for all but gladiators and professional sports players until recent decades). Now, we need to recognise the consequences of COVID-19 and appreciate the extent of this need.

Consider the person who just a year ago commuted to the city and back, walked around an office and went out for lunch, but who has now been on Zoom in their home for a year. Imagine also the very many who a year ago were going to their local shops, clubs and other social places on a daily basis and who have now settled into a less public outbound social life and a more home-based existence.

The past year has resulted in many of us, and those we care for, becoming less mobile and active. We also know that there has been an alarming increase in mental health problems and domestic violence.

Associate Professor Simon Rosenbaum from the University of NSW states that, “Physical activity is an evidence-based strategy for reducing symptoms of mental illness and promoting positive mental health. The challenge is that those most likely to benefit from a little bit of activity are too often the least likely to have access to the required support, resources and opportunities to engage in age and culturally-appropriate physical activity.”

Our challenge as a community is to increase not only our own physical exercise but, at least as importantly, to facilitate the physical activity of everyone in our community. We need to place this objective just behind food and accommodation as basic priorities. As a community, we need to focus on how we can offer accessible, affordable and attractive access to exercise.

How about a regular community walk?

Upcoming Legislation

Stamp Duty and Land Tax

Voluntary Euthanasia

In last year’s budget, the Treasurer outlined his plan to phase out stamp duty by the 2024/25 financial year, and to introduce a land tax. This is a significant change to the structure of State taxation in NSW and will impact people in very different ways depending on their home ownership status and future home ownership/ investment plans.

The Member for Sydney, Alex Greenwich MP, has indicated that in 2021 he will be introducing a Private Members Bill to the NSW Parliament which looks to legalise Voluntary Euthanasia. While a Bill is yet to be presented to the Parliament, this is an issue that many people across our community have very strong views about. I have made a commitment that I will not make any decisions regarding such legislation without consulting our community, which is why I want to hear from you.

There is a consultation period currently open, that will close on March 15th, 2021 and I want to hear what you think about these significant changes. You can do so by scanning the QR code on the left and filling out my quick survey.

I have created a short survey to help me canvas the views of our community that you can complete here by simply scanning the QR code on the right.

Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP

Member for Coogee If you have any issues at all that you require assistance with, please do not hesitate to contact my office on 9398 1822, email coogee@parliament.nsw.gov.au, or come in at 15/53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick.

To fill out my community survey, scan this QR code!

Authorised by Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP. Funded using parliamentary entitlements.

Subject Morning splendour Location Coogee Photographer Theresia Hall @flow_n_glow_tg

Subject Catch the moment Location Clovelly Photographer Alan Wang

Subject Cooling down Location Coogee Photographer Theresia Hall @flow_n_glow_tg

Subject Beach Postcard Location Bondi Photographer Katrina Jones

Subject Perfection Location Bronte Photographer Ash Hingston @ashhingstonphotography

The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!

Subject Isabella Location Tamarama Photographer Mark Hunter @bondihunter

Subject Choccy lab Location Maroubra Photographer Sam Daniels

Subject Summer dips Location Bondi Photographer Zac Coonan

Subject Art imitates life Location Coogee Photographer Theresia Hall @flow_n_glow_tg

Please send them to photos@thebeast.com.au

Oodles of them.

Big Noodle Energy Words Joel Bevilacqua Photo Darren Ramen After spending nearly my entire summer in the Bondi bubble, at the end of the school holidays I decided to venture out into the great abyss in an attempt to broaden my cultural experiences. What better place to start, I thought, than RaRa Ramen in Randwick?

Ramen is a cool food to eat.

People love it, and not the just the logically impaired who inexplicably choose to roll up pants which fit them just fine, attach keys to a belt loop right next to perfectly good pockets and carry large, empty tote bags with them wherever they go. Say what you want about these people, but they’ve got great taste in food, and I am eternally grateful that their endless stream of culinaryrelated Instagram stories led me to RaRa. Located in the Newmarket precinct near the Prince of Wales Hospital, the bar serving authentic hand-crafted ramen 44 The Beast March 2021

is the second of two Sydney venues. Owners Katie Shortland and Scott Gault decided to open the second due to the immense popularity of their first venture in Redfern (we’re talking lines around the block) and I can only assume they selected the Randwick location to preserve the guttural alliteration.

As you enter the warmly lit bar a large neon sign reading ‘Big Noodle Energy’ sets the tone for the evening. It’s a group friendly space with larger tables but there are some more intimate seating options at the bar and to the peripheries. There are also some tables outside, opposite Neuroscience Research Australia, which makes it great for picking up brain surgeons rather than the trust fund babies in white linen you’d usually be forced to choose from when dining near the beaches.

Alright, I’ve waffled on a bit and considering this is a food

review I should probably talk a bit about the food. RaRa’s main attraction is their tonkotsu, made with a top-secret pork bone broth and served with chasu pork. The soup is topped with seasoned bamboo, creamy ajitsuke tamago (egg) and black fungus, and the pork belly is grilled over coals before serving so that it melts in your mouth.

If you’re after something a little bit different and are a fan of truffles, the chicken karaage mazesoba with truffle mayonnaise is a winner. Thick chewy noodles are tossed with shoyu tare and truffle oil and topped with crunchy juicy karaage, seaweed, housemade truffle mayonnaise, onsen egg, chopped red onion, corn and parmesan cheese.

An open kitchen lets you observe Executive Chef Terry Jeon’s big noodle energy up close and there is the noodle room where you can watch Jeon through large windows making fresh noodles daily. There is a real sense of theatre about the place, making it a great spot to enjoy a few drinks. A wraparound bar serves a range of imported Japanese beers, natural wines and of course sake.

Warning: You’ll be doing a fair bit of slurping at RaRa, so don’t wear white linen.

RaRa Ramen www.rararamen.com.au Address 1/162-164 Barker Street, Randwick Instagram rara__ramen Phone 9310 0932 Open Mon-Wed 11.30am9.30pm, Thu-Fri 11.30am10pm, Sat 12-10pm, Sun 12-8pm Prices Tonkotsu $18.80, chicken karaage mazesoba with truffle mayo $19.50 400ml Asahi $12 Cards Master, Visa, Amex Licensed Yes

So cheesy.

Mushroom, Leek and Three Cheese Lasagne Words and Photo Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine Rich, robust and meat free, this vegetarian lasagne consisting of layers of soft pasta, oozy cheeses and a variety of mushrooms is injected with loads of flavour.

It can be made in advance and will feed quite a few hungry diners. A light salad of mixed green leaves is all you need to serve on the side. This recipe is a labour of love and well worth the effort.

Ingredients 50g porcini mushrooms, soaked for ½ hr then drained 900g mix of mushrooms - Swiss brown, oyster, enoki, field roughly chopped 140g fresh lasagne sheets (or enough for 3 layers in your baking dish) 250gm fresh mozzarella, roughly torn 150gm pecorino, finely grated

150gm parmesan, finely grated 1 large leek, cut into a large dice Small bunch fresh thyme leaves, stem removed Small bunch sage leaves, roughly chopped Zest of 1 lemon 1 clove of garlic, crushed Sea salt Ground black pepper 1½ cups vegetable stock 1 tablespoon olive oil Bechamel ½ small leek, finely chopped 3 tbs butter 700ml milk 4 tbs plain flour Method 1. After you have soaked the porcini mushrooms, heat a large frypan on medium and add the olive oil. Add the mushrooms and gently fry until starting to soften, approx. 4

minutes. Add the lemon zest, garlic, thyme, salt & pepper to taste and stir. Add the white wine and stock and simmer for a further 5 minutes. Remove from the stove and set aside.

2. To make the bechamel, heat a saucepan on medium. Add the butter and as it melts add the leek and stir until softened but not browned. Add in the flour and stir quickly so it doesn’t burn. Gradually and slowly add the milk, whisking as you go.

The lumps will disappear and the sauce will start to thicken.

Keep the saucepan on the heat as you whisk and when it is a thick and smooth consistency remove from the heat and set aside.

3. Heat the oven to 180°C. To assemble the lasagne, you need a large baking tray. Place the lasagne sheets in a single layer on the bottom. Using a slotted spoon, add a layer of the mushrooms, straining off the liquid as this will make the lasagne too wet. Sprinkle a layer of the parmesan and pecorino and some pieces of torn mozzarella.

Repeat 2 more times so you have 3 layers.

4. Give the bechamel a little stir, then pour an even layer over the top of the lasagne.

Sprinkle more parmesan and pecorino over the top which will help brown the top of the lasagne as it bakes. Bake in the oven for 50 minutes and serve while hot.

Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family.

She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to here in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.

March 2021 The Beast 45

Advertising Feature

Everything has been taken care of.

The Healthiest Store in Sydney Words Joel Bevilacqua Photo Guillermo Pena Harry Tsoukalas was a chippy with a dodgy back, heart issues and bad circulation, but a change in diet drastically changed his life. His switch to a clean, plant-based diet not only fixed most of Harry’s chronic health issues, it was so life changing that it inspired him to open Hippocrates Healthy Eatery in Randwick, perhaps the healthiest store in Sydney.

The Greek style restaurant follows in the footsteps of famous Greek philosophers such as Socrates, Plato, Pythagoras and more who adhered to an organic, plant-based diet, but the efforts Harry has applied to look after his customers’ health does not end there. Lime paints were used to prevent mould and bacteria growth, all wrapping is plant-based, air purifiers are used in the kitchen and lounge to clear the air from bacteria and mould spores, there are dehumidifiers to keep the humidity below 55 per cent and ozone generators are in place to destroy any harmful organisms.

It may seem excessive, but Harry is extremely passionate

about the health of his customers and spreading a message about the importance of clean, sustainable living. In the east, that message isn’t exactly new.

We are, after all, the healthy living mecca of the world.

The thing is though, most of us normally only stick to our resolutions for a day or two, or empathise with cows for half an hour after watching some animal cruelty doco, before mauling down a large Big Mac meal and sucking Fanta through a plastic straw, because we’re also the most hedonistic pricks on the planet. What we put into our bodies (via our mouths) comes down to two things: taste and convenience.

How does Hippocrates fare on these two fronts? To be honest, I had a couple of beers the night before I went into Hippocrates (they do breakfast, lunch and dinner) and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t upset that I wasn’t going to be able to eat something that used to run around in a paddock, but the food was really bloody good!

The mains are all plant-based Advertising Feature

versions of Greek classics, named after Greek gods. Some options include a vegan grilled kebab called the Athena, a plant-based minced meat dish with eggplant, sweet potato and béchamel called the Demeter, and the Apollo, red lentils and jack fruit marinated in satay sauce and quinoa. I’ve had a few meat alternatives in my charmed life and the jack fruit tastes closer to the real thing than anything I have sampled to date.

For dessert, there’s the Hercules tiramisu, a sugar and gluten free alternative to the old favourite, and the Odysseus raw carrot cake, which is just as good as any sugary original I’ve had. The breakfast menu is a bit of a mixed bag that includes avo’ on toast, bruschetta, crepes and a quesadilla. There’s a range of juices aimed to boost your dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin or whatever other chemical you have totally depleted from your brain.

As for convenience, it’s nice to go somewhere where you know everything has been taken care of for you. Nobody wants to breathe in mould or absorb toxins from chemical-based paint, but buying a humidifier means a trip to Westfield on a Saturday, and getting rid of toxic paint means painting - no thanks.

If only we had more people like Harry to do the heavy lifting for lazy bastards like myself.

Hippocrates Healthy Eatery hippocrateshealthyeatery.com Address 129 Avoca Street, Randwick Phone 0449 264 474 Open Wed-Sun 7.30am-9pm Prices Bowls $16 Wraps $12, Hercules $9, Quesadilla $12 Cards Master, Visa, Amex Licensed Yes

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ARLO PARKS Collapsed in Sunbeams Label Transgressive Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  There’s something immediately soothing about Arlo Parks and her low-key, poetic approach to song writing. At first glance, Collapsed in Sunbeams hints at being an album everyone needs to add to their collection, but much like hooking up with an incredibly attractive person, after a few dates you’re wondering, is there enough here to grab me for eternity?

I’m unsure. Usually albums grow on you during the second listen, but this one kind of lost me. It suddenly seemed a bit too safe and nice. It’s not you, Arlo, it’s me; sometimes I just like it a bit nasty.

BLUEY Bluey the Album Label Demon Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating 

SYNCHRONIC Genre Sci-Fi Drama Horror Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador The multi-talented and long-term collaborating team of Justin Benson (The Endless, Spring) and Aaron Moorhead (The Endless, Spring) have once again delved into the timetravel genre to create the intriguingly mindbending Synchronic.

New Orleans paramedics and long-term friends, Dennis Dannelly (Jamie Dornan) and Steve Denube (Anthony Mackie), notice a disturbing increase in strange drug-related incidences and deaths. When they find the cause is a new designer pill it puts Steve on a path down-the-rabbit-hole of time itself and has him questioning their whole existence.

Synchronic is much more than a time travel film. It’s about people connecting, not looking to the past and embracing the ‘now’. Yes, the whole time travel, twisted reality concept has been done before, and it definitely has its flaws, but look past them and you’ll find a trippy-head-spin of a film where time is nonlineal and the past, present and future all exist simultaneously on multiple layers of time.

48 The Beast March 2021

Most parents will be familiar with this little blue heeler and the wonderfully simple, yet imaginative adventures she embarks upon. I think it’s fair to say that the Heelers are everyone’s favourite family; real, animated or otherwise. The soundtrack succeeds much where the show does, in that it’s made for kids, but is still rather enjoyable for the adults in the room. This is no Baby Shark and thank $#%* for that. Will it be a hit with the little ones? I have no idea, I’m not a kid, but probably; I certainly enjoyed it more than I should have.

BAIO Dead Hand Control Label Glassnote Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  A lot of things confuse me: hook turns in Melbourne, St George Illawarra’s recruitment strategies, Gogglebox, and now Baio. Exactly what the bass player from Vampire Weekend is trying to do on Dead Hand Control has left me absolutely baffled. That’s not to say I don’t like it, but influentially it’s so all over the place, I find it a bit difficult to follow. Are we listening to an ‘80s pop album? Straight up dance music? The National? At times, it threatens to click and be absolutely magnificent, but it never quite finds the right slipstream. Maybe next time?

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ACROSS 1. Band that topped the Hottest 100 in 2020 (5,7) 7. Eight legged sea creature (7) 8. Tunny fish (4) 9. USA intelligence authority (1,1,1) 10. Make bigger (7) 11. River in Egypt (4) 12. Pacify (7) 13. Cowboy exclamation, ... haw! (3) 15. The Pussycat Dolls hit, ‘Don’t ...’ (3) 16. Forlorn (5) 18. ... acids make up proteins (5) 19. Not better (5) 20. Unintentional error signifying subconscious feelings (8,4)

DOWN 1. Branch of mathematics that deals with shapes (8) 2. Deer-like animal (8) 3. Famous Nintendo game franchise (5,5) 4. German 1922 vampire film (9) 5. Afternoon performance (7) 6. Second place band in the 2020 Hottest 100 (6,4) 14. Looney Tunes character, ... Fudd (5) 15. Reef builders (5) 16. Sydney band that had an apprenticeship under Elton John (4) 17. State bird of Western Australia (4)

Trivial Trivia Words Cameron Anderson Photo Theresia Hall Insta @flow_n_glow_tg Name the person associated with these quotes...

1. “I came. I saw. I conquered (translated).”

2. “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.”

3. “We are not makers of history. We are made by history.”

4. “I have as much muscle as any man, and can do as much work as any man.”

5. “I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear.”

6. “The best way to predict your future is to create it.”

7. “Mankind must put an end to war or war will put an end to mankind.”

8. “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

9. “Imagination is more important than knowledge.

Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”

10. “We shall shortly have a famous victory over these enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.”

Fishermen at South Maroubra.

March 2021 The Beast 49

Taurus Apr 21-May 21 If you want to lose weight, now is not the time. Fatten up a bit and try again in a year or so when the loss will be more impressive.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 Stop blaming your antisocial behaviour on COVID. You were a cave-dwelling hermit long before Wuhan wet market f*cked us all.

Gemini May 22-Jun 21 White-anting your colleagues is a perfectly acceptable defensive strategy if they’re getting in the way of your pay rise.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 Just because your school friends are more successful than you, it doesn’t mean you’re stupid. It’s because you’re lazy and abrasive.

Visions Beardy from Hell

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Spend some money on a decent pair of sunnies. You look bloody ridiculous in those things you’ve been wearing lately.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 Putting monkeys on other people’s backs is a great way of avoiding accountability, until they all drop dead from starvation.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 One of your closest friends hasn’t been wiping their arse properly. Avoid touching them at all costs.

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 Chuck a sickie, then spend the whole day working anyway, because the rest of your colleagues are f*cking useless.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 A new pair of undies could potentially change your life, especially if you’ve skidded throughout your existing collection.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 Take a holiday to regional New South Wales so you: a) Appreciate living in Sydney, b) Never have to go there again.

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 Just be nice to people. You’ve been a bit of a f*ckwit your whole life, it’s not too late to change.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 Next time someone pushes in front of you, lean forward and softly whisper, “I’ve got Coronavirus,” then lick their face.

Star Signs

Trivial Trivia Solutions

1. Julius Caesar 2. Wayne Gretzky 3. Martin Luther King Jr 4. Sojourner Truth 5. Rosa Parks 6. Abraham Lincoln 7. John F. Kennedy 8. Thomas Edison 9. Albert Einstein 10. Queen Elizabeth I 1

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50 The Beast March 2021

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SCAN TO ENTER DRAW 31 MARCH

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