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May 2021
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Thanks for Your Support Words James Hutton @thebeastmag Welcome to the May 2021 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s beautiful beaches of the east. This month’s cover piece was painted by Kevin McKay, who has been teaching at Waverley Woollahra Art School for 15 years now. You can read more about Kevin in his local artist profile on page 32. After receiving a mini tsunami of letters supporting our choice of cover artwork for the March 2021 edition, as well as plenty of praise for local artist Yasmin Shima, I decided to mix things up a little this month, so you’ll notice that the restaurant review is missing and a news article has been removed to free up enough space to publish as many letters as possible.
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For the record, since last month I have only received two other letters that were critical of my choice of cover art and editorial. Although they raised some interesting points and deserved a spot, I just couldn’t fit them in (sorry Katie and Tanya). I strive to provide an accessible platform for residents to share their views on important local issues, and I take this responsibility very seriously. Everyone - even ‘Paula Bruce, Resident and Lawyer’ - can have their say in The Beast. At the end of the day, I’m just stoked that people are engaging with the magazine and that they feel comfortable enough to speak up about local issues they feel passionate about. Cheers, James
The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editor james@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au Rates and Specs thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 60,000 copies are delivered every month; 56,500 are placed in mailboxes and 3,500 in local shops. PEFC Certified The Beast uses paper from sustainably managed forests. Letters to the Editor Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and the suburb you live in.
CONTENTS May 2 0 2 1 Issue 1 9 6
6 7 8 10 23 24 32 34
Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Monthly Mailbag Thumbs Local News Local Artist Local Photos
36 37 38 39 40 41 42 44
Satire Police News Unreliable Guide Tide Chart Headnoise Money Matters Marj's Musings Dana's Recipe
Bronte mornings, by LaurenMarie Holliday @yesmynameislemon.
45 46 48 48 49 50 50
Making Music Business Page Film Review Album Reviews Brainteasers Beardy from Hell Trivia Solutions
Under the pump.
Christian Values Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Karma Zakhunt Pearl is taking a short break from her COVID Ambassadorship role to direct readers’ attention to the plight of Christian Porter, Australia’s former Attorney General and protector of the rule of law. I look at Porter, strung out by the online frenzy over sexual assault allegations, and I see a man who deserves to rule, unhampered by marauding lefties and riff raff activists. With a political pedigree, private schooling, a law degree and illustrious legal career, Christian rose from immense privilege to the position of ensuring the integrity of Australia’s court system, dismantling the Family Court in the process (much to the mortification of legal and family violence experts). And, gals, who doesn’t love a man who was a former Cleo Bachelor of the Year (1999) finalist? 8 The Beast May 2021
Blonde, clean cut and oozing arrogance, according to The Daily Mail UK (which Pearl frequently consults), Porter submitted a self-portrait of a stick figure with large genitals for the competition, while alluding to his sexual prowess in his Cleo profile. I am sure the Prime Minister’s wife would approve. After all, this wellendowed Liberal is responsible for the draft of the Religious Discrimination Bill. With all the antagonistic hysteria surrounding Christian, Pearl feels that his detractors have unfairly overlooked Porter’s greatest political success, achieved during his time as Minister for Social Security - putting the great unwashed back in their place via the implementation of Robodebt and the Cashless Welfare Card.
When one resides in a privileged vacuum of black or white, good or evil, fair or unfair, empathising with those who exist in shades of grey is a hard gig. Through Robodebt, Christian was able to orchestrate a reign of terror over welfare recipients, a witch hunt (that cost as much to run as the amount recouped) involving debt collectors, passport confiscation and jail threats. Christian has refused to apologise to those impacted by the now abolished and “legally insufficient” (Porter’s words) debt scheme, pointing out that he “helped move 150,000 people off welfare”, conveniently forgetting the two reported suicides resulting from the system’s cruelty and the mysterious removal from office of any Administrative Appeals Tribunal member who questioned Robodebt’s legality. One of Christian’s greatest legacies (a “huge success”, according to Porter) remains in place - the Cashless Welfare Card. When one can afford to get drunk in the trendy bars of Canberra in the company of young women, it is reassuring to know one has prevented a myriad of welfare recipients from purchasing lotto tickets or pissing taxpayers’ money up the wall on Coolabah value-pack Sweet Fruity White. Porter claims to have been unfairly treated, with a presumption of guilt that has effectively destroyed his career. Robodebt, which Porter presided over, “was an algorithmic weapon of calculated cruelty”, treating those resorting to welfare as criminals. Sometimes karma comes to those who cannot keep their kuracs secured in their Y-fronts. And unfortunately, for a jobs-andgrowth-obsessed Australia, karma comes in the form of a new Attorney General Michaelia Cash. Groan.
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The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The Wonderful People of the Eastern Suburbs Loving the March Cover DERRIERE DISTASTE The March cover, painted by a local female artist, depicting a rear view of a female surfer holding a surfboard while seemingly looking out to sea, has excited your critical correspondents in a variety of ways. On the one hand we have, “It is a beautiful image by an obviously skilled artist.” On the other, “It is ... a distorted image of the female body,” “...condescending, ugly, dirty, sexual and degradingly portrayed.” Other comments include “misogynistic,” “...featuring not even a woman’s face, just her bottom,” “...suggests and promotes ... rear and anal sex.” And, “...suggests dominance and entitlement.” To me, after a 79-year lifetime at Bondi and Bronte, the painting represents beach normality, however the subject’s bikini bottom is modest by comparison with the new vogue amongst younger beachgoers. What the image conveys to me is realisation of the significant participation by females in the joys of surfing; virtually non-existent in my youth, now being commonplace. It seems to me that those being critical ought to applaud this work of art as a celebration of growing female freedom and independence. Instead, the artist is bashed up by a vitriolic reaction. If my mind imagined that the image is condescending, suggests dominance, entitlement and also rear and anal sex, I would be worried about myself. Goodness
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knows what imaginations would be aroused in the critics’ minds by Michelangelo’s David or the famous and ancient statue of Venus de Milo. I think I would rather not know. What will be made of the April cover, which depicts a macho figure straddling an obviously unwilling and non-consenting horse? Greg Maidment Bronte KEEPING IT REAL Dear James - I was surprised to read the negative feedback related to the March cover of The Beast mag. It’s disappointing to see that we have more than a few hyper sensitive and prudish readers in our community, in a country where our beach culture is such a huge part of our national identity and appeal. Whilst a painting of a female hitting the surf in long sleeved overalls would have received less complaints, it wouldn’t have been very realistic, or comfortable for that matter. She probably would have drowned. Artists have been admiring the human form for centuries. Female muses were frequently fleshier in the past and this had nothing to do with the lack of kale smoothies, surfboards and the world wide web for health and fitness tips; it’s because this is the form that was considered more captivating for so long. I wonder if readers would have complained or covered their children’s eyes if the cover of the magazine was of The Birth of Venus? Is it wrong to admire a body
that looks like it is cherished and looked after by its owner? We appreciate a far more diverse range of bodies now than ever before, in my humble opinion. There was a comment made that “the only way to stop men from objectifying women is to stop glorifying images such as this”. The female and male forms have been glorified for all of time. So they should be. They are all we really ever physically have from the cradle to the grave. They are the bare and beautiful overt reflection of both our individuality and commonality as human beings. A healthy attitude or respect towards human forms runs far deeper than what we celebrate as art. This is established through values and belief systems instilled through our parenting and education systems. If we feel threatened by a painting of a female surfer with a perky bum used on the cover of a coastal magazine then perhaps there is a personal feeling of inadequacy or insecurity that should be explored. This is my two cents’ from a fellow female. I am proud to see a local up-and-coming artist being celebrated and this was a fun, playful and cheeky magazine cover. The Beast mag, I think you would have gained more readers than the two you lost through publishing this edition. Well done Yasmin! I can’t wait to see more of your work. Kinga Coogee A LETTER TO THE OFFENDED Dear James - I was extremely shocked to read the readers’ comments on the March cover. I was highly surprised that a beautiful painting of a woman in a bikini, facing the ocean and holding a surfboard, triggered such adverse, almost allergic reactions. In the painting, as in some of the other artworks from the artist, I can see a portrait of a free, sexy and unapologetic woman. Some claimed the image was degrading and offensive. Since when has a beautifully chiselled body been considered offensive? Should we
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then knock down the David of Michelangelo and burn the Venus of Botticelli? Kathleen was worried about the message it sends to kids when they open the mailbox and see the oh-so-provocative and misogynistic image. I would much prefer my kids to learn to appreciate, criticize and question art, rather than watch a seventh episode of Peppa Pig on the iPad. We can have a conversation, and they may even learn something. Some others considered that the cover may promote the potential abuse of women. This is a very dangerous suggestion. A woman’s body, or the representation of a woman’s body, is never a promotion of abuse. Women are allowed to feel good in their body - to feel empowered, sexy, desired - without fearing that it could provoke an attack on them. Men should control their urges, women should not have to cover their bodies. This is Bondi Beach, not Islamabad. I suggest these persons relocate from the Eastern Suburbs to Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia, to make sure they won’t receive any more unsolicited depictions of a sexy butt in their mailbox that may hurt their sensibility and the one of their family. Lea L. North Bondi REALITY CHECK Dear Editor - I am shocked by the letters from the ‘virtue signalling champions of women’s honour’ that criticised the March Beast cover painting, and also my painting on the January cover. Are you people for real? What world do you live in? Artists have always depicted the female form in painting and sculpture and they are on display in museums and galleries all over the world. I don’t see how the images on The Beast front covers are any different. There is nothing on either cover that you can’t see at the beach on a sunny day or in the streets of Bondi for that matter. Shame on you! On a brighter note, James and I auctioned off my original paint-
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ing on The Beast January cover, ‘We’re all in this together’. The highest bidder was a delightful gentleman from London. James and I decided to donate half the proceeds to the Nelune Cancer Centre in Darlinghurst, which will go towards training three new cancer care nurses. The other half we donated to Dreams2live4, a marvellous organisation that makes dreams come true for people stricken with incurable cancer. Camille Fox North Bondi LOVE YOUR WORK! Just wanted to let you know we love your work and The Beast! Don’t let them get you down (I just read through the monthly mailbag)! Kate Clovelly LIKING THE COVER PAINTING Dear Beast people - I am a bit dumbfounded at the outpouring of negative sentiments about the March Beast Cover. I would be happy to have such a painting on my wall - it is bright, happy and shows a woman surfer. What about all those nude figures on classic paintings shown in art galleries or churches? I don’t hear those sort of remarks about them! In fact they are referred to as ‘beautiful’ (e.g. the Three Graces by Botticelli) Go to a life drawing class and see with what respect a nude model is treated by the artists working there. Anthea Vaucluse THE 'TAKE OFFENCE BRIGADE' James - I completely agree with your editorial in the April edition. How anyone could be offended by a fun, colourful piece of art is beyond me. Those toxic letters of complaint were unfounded and quite ridiculous, especially the one about the artwork promoting anal sex! I had a great belly laugh over that one! I’m sure most readers of The Beast appreciate the innovative art on the front cover of the magazine each month, so keep up the good
work of supporting local artists and ignore the ‘take offence brigade’ whose priorities are pathetic and who clearly would be happier living in Saudi Arabia today or Nazi Germany in the 1930s. Best wishes as always, John Randwick WHAT'S THAT ABOUT? Hi James - Interesting response to ‘that cover’. I must confess I thought, “Hmmm, what’s that about?” but I’m not sure the umbrage or outrage - take your pick is merited. First, it is a work of art, and clearly so. What was the artist saying or wishing to provoke? Consider, there are millions of such images in circulation - some more explicitly prurient - promoting the Bondi experience, bringing prosperity to the neighbourhood. Perhaps the artist was wishing to bring this to our attention? To describe such an image as misogynistic is clearly absurd. The word simply just doesn’t mean what the author implies. For those wishing to improve relations between men and women, perhaps they would be better advised to work to turn off the extreme and violent pornography now available at the inadvertent click of a mouse. Gareth Davies Bellevue Hill TAKE A CHILL PILL To James - Why is everyone so up in arms with the March 2021 cover? Clearly these people have too much time on their hands. It’s just a bum... and a nice one at that. Take a chill pill people, it’s not like it’s a global pandemic or anything! Natalie Bondi Junction RIDICULOUS RANTING OMG! I just read The Beast’s monthly mailbag regarding last month’s cover. Do you really have to read these ridiculous letters from people? I actually thought that bikini was conservative compared to what I see walking up and down Coogee Bay Road! But I guess all the feminists are out in full swing at the moment.
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Keep doing your thing, James, and entertaining us with the mag’s humour, creativity and truth! Dana Coogee THE RECENT BACKLASH Hi - You have all my details and I am not a keyboard warrior. I flick through your publication and have a good laugh every now and then. I couldn’t help but notice that you have been targeted by anonymous feminists (could be frustrated men) regarding local artists expressing art. Can I just say that this is an ongoing trend of individuals that have no real life (besides looking for something to complain about). Some of the complainants said that they don’t want children getting a terrible view of how women are treated and viewed. I will give you a tip: children learn from people yelling in their ears. Most young girls would not have noticed anything about the cover of The Beast. But once again, it’s all about the parent. Keep going, Beast. Simon Coogee WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? Anal sex? Are they serious? Bit of a giggle though! So there you have it, bums all over Bondi, more bums! What a bunch of repressed nongs. Loved reading them though. John Bondi BEMUSED AND BEWILDERED I am bemused and bewildered by the complaints directed at the front cover of The Beast’s March edition. Did I receive the ‘clean’ version in my mailbox?! Where is the highly offensive image alluded to in the monthly mailbag? Instead of a ‘disturbing image’, I am seeing an image promoting strong, healthy, athletic female surfers - one that should be celebrated - and I would be happy for my six-year-old, water crazy niece to see and be inspired by the March cover. I suggest the complainants revisit the painting after reading
14 The Beast May 2021
Duncan Horscroft’s April column about the wonderful Pauline Menczer and direct their misguided energies to having a statue of Pauline erected at Bondi Beach. And, to Paula Bruce, I strongly advise that you enrol in an acrylic painting workshop or an art appreciation course that teaches you about tonal values. That will save you from making the awfully embarrassing mistake of interpreting shadows as holes. Annamarie Smith Clovelly STOP YOUR WHINGING I cannot see anything wrong with the cover of the March issue of The Beast. Considering what I have seen on Coogee Beach over the years, including women nude, and now walking up and down Coogee Bay Road in G-strings. I don’t think these people should whinge about your mag. They’re probably a bunch of unhealthy overweight things ashamed to look at their big backsides in the mirror. I think next time we should have a full-on nude. ‘Misogynist’?! What a load of crap! Con Coogee TWISTED MINDS Hey James - I love the cover of the March issue. I am over sixty, and to me it represents the Australia I grew up in. It saddens me that so many women cannot see the beauty of an Aussie surfer girl. It bemuses me that anyone can be so offended, that they introduce “rear end and anal sex” into their correspondence. Is this sort of language offensive, or is it just plain bad taste? If I don’t like a publication, I don’t read it. Colleen Maroubra Not Really Loving the March Cover COVER IMAGES AND FREE PRESS James - You need to stop doubling down on your view of free press in your editorials. The female bikini cover images are inappropriate in a community magazine, and on top of that, read the current mood,
especially with what’s happening with parliament and in particular local schools. Apologise and move on. You cite free press and reference Saudi Arabia, but free press comes with a responsibility which recognises our society’s values. I do not believe your January or March cover images reflects this country or this community’s values. If anything it is a time when, as an editor of a well-read magazine, you need to show responsibility to help change the culture that portrays women as objects. I want a community where my two girls when they grow up do not have to be afraid of walking home at night. And whilst indirect, your role (and our broader community’s role) is critical in making our society better. James Coogee NO MEANS YES Hi James - I love the cover of the March issue of The Beast! You are obviously a very enlightened publisher. You understand the difficulties women experience everyday in our patriarchal culture - the cat calls, the suggestive behaviour, the male sense of entitlement, the misunderstanding when a ‘no’ means a ‘yes’. We have come so far as a society, and the ‘bikini-clad bum’ highlights just how far! I cannot thank you enough. Sarcastic Carol Bronte LUCKY TO BE LIVING IN SYDNEY? I was going to write something well-considered, researched, and pointing back to your own articles about the lack of respect that teenage boys in the Eastern Suburbs display towards women. Then I decided I couldn’t be bothered wasting my time on someone who thinks ‘at least it isn’t Saudi Arabia’ is a good argument. I can only hope you wrote this editorial before the recent events in the news, particularly from teenage girls in our very own area and the sexual abuse they suffered, but honestly with attitudes like that I doubt it. I got as far as
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that page and, after getting your email address, put the magazine straight into the bin where it will always directly go in future. I do not want such ignorance or toxic ‘whataboutism’ in my house. Do some research, listen, understand, and just do better. Natasa Yemen The Artist's Response STAY POSITIVE As the artist who created the work featured on the front cover of the March 2021 edition of The Beast, I felt compelled to respond to the people who decided to take offence at my surfer girl in a bikini painting. While I recognise that the editorial that accompanied my painting has also inflamed some people’s emotions, I’ve found some of the negative commentary shocking. I wanted to do something different to my usual body of work. I didn’t just want to paint the ocean; I wanted to paint something iconic that represented Bondi and empowered me as a female artist by celebrating the female form. That a female artist is called misogynistic for celebrating the female form, I cannot comprehend. I chose to use a figurative form of art as my expression, I never intended to offend anyone. I think The Beast does a brilliant job of showcasing artists on their covers, and this poses a rare opportunity for independent artists to have their creativity exposed. The new COVID reality has hit the creative industry significantly, as it has affected business, culture and general life as we know it, so I welcomed the opportunity with open arms. I love painting beauty, women and animals, and I appreciate the female form. I don’t believe women’s bodies should be taboo, and I certainly don’t believe that women should be objectified, but if we aren’t allowed to celebrate and own our own feminine power, what kind of message is that sending? If it were a fit man surfing would it attract as much attention? I guarantee not.
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To those who felt compelled to comment on my art, what part of you is challenged by the beauty of a woman? I acknowledge that the commentary around my art is coming at a sensitive time. As an artist I stand strong around the passion for my craft. As a woman I stand beside those women who want to achieve. I’m proud of my artistic developments. I’m proud to be an entrepreneurial woman. I celebrate the success of women alongside men. Sincerely, Yasmin Shima Bondi Pearl's Fan Mail FAT CYCLISTS Dear James - I can’t see what the fuss is about women in bikinis to be honest - being a woman myself - and we live in Bondi Beach. But I do find Pearl’s column this month (Middle Aged Fat Men In Lycra, The Beast, April 2021) highly hypocritical and offensive to men. She labels male cyclists as “middle aged fat men”, and says they should “lose a few kilos,” and uses language like “rotund” and “lard arse”. Excuse me? If this was said about women there would be an absolute uproar. Just look at the fuss people are making about women in bikinis! Body shaming is never okay, regardless of gender. I work in the adult industry where I hear and see men vulnerable, lacking in confidence and self esteem. I agree that all cyclists are annoying at times, but to publicly criticise men and their bodies is not okay. We constantly bang on about women being equal to men; well how about we show men the same respect? And, to be honest, give me a dad bod any day of the week... Samantha X Bondi Beach FERAL CAMELS LOOSE IN THE HOOD Hi The Beast - I trust you and yours are all healthy and well. The following is not really a direct response to Pearl’s MAFMILs rant last month, however I think it only
fair and balanced that FCWDs (Feral Camels Walking Dogs) should also be brought to your readers’ attention as an equally, if not far more, distressing trend. There I am on most mornings checking the surf at Maroubra and agonising over whether to go out or not given my dicky back and shoulder. I occasionally take my eye off the surf to notice the constant stream of early morning walkers taking their dogs for a shit and I can’t help but notice that a good proportion of the canines are accompanied by camels on the other end of the lead! I’m left wondering if mirrors are deliberately avoided when active wear is donned by a majority of females, irrespective of their age? At times I literally don’t know where to look (or to jump) as a pair of these feral creatures close in on me on the footpath! The anxiety doesn’t end there either. As I’ve successfully negotiated the feral creatures on their approach, I’m greeted with a front row box seat view of their sphincters as they stroll off into the distance. I don’t deserve this level of anxiety each and every morning; the Lexapro stash is running low as it is with COVID! Please ask your readers to be more considerate and give the mirror a quick glance before taking their animals out in public! Frazzled Maroubra P.S. Sphincter back pants should be a candidate for the ‘Thumbs Down’ section I reckon. DOUBLE STANDARDS Imagine the outrage and inevitable accusations of misogyny if I wrote an article with the headline ‘Middle Aged Fat Women In Bikinis’ (Middle Aged Fat Men in Lycra, The Beast, April 2021 )? Riley Brown Bondi Beach MIDDLE AGED FAT MEN IN LYCRA So much for Middle Aged Fat Men in Lycra. What about seeing these same men, up to old age, who unfortunately I have seen in various locations with no shirt on, showing their rotund abdominal
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region with rolls of fat as well as wearing Stubbies? The last example of a middle aged man that I saw was not only showing his rolls of fat dressed in Stubbies, but also had dyed his hair black with the comb over his scalp! Very ugly and repugnant indeed. What happens to the mindset of these middle aged and older men? Do they really think that it is acceptable to be seen in public with no shirt on wearing short shorts? I think not. Irisa Coogee RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES Kudos to Pearl for having the balls to call it as it really is (Rights and Responsibilities, The Beast, March 2021). The dog situation along the Eastern Beaches is way out of control. Unleashed dogs in prohibited areas are one concern that Pearl raises, but it extends from there. One recent Saturday morning I counted five dogs roaming freely along the Coogee promenade, even though local government has generously designated parklands/ reserves for unleashed dogs. Local government in my opinion is like a limp dick; very little visible action in addressing this escalating problem. Pearl indicated that she didn’t want to ‘upset the sensibilities of sensitive people’ (ignorant dog owners, in my view), but I have no issue in raising my concerns. When walking along Coogee Bay Road or the promenade these days, one needs to step over or around these obstructions laying across the footpath. In fact it now is difficult pushing my grandchild’s stroller along these pathways, similar to the many chicanes on a Formula One track a driver needs to negotiate. As with the number of people on beaches, local government should limit the number of dogs along popular pathways. NSW Government health laws prevent dogs or other pets near where food is served or prepared. This is ignored by cafe or restaurant owners while local government does nothing to uphold state health laws. I find dogs sitting
18 The Beast May 2021
inside and outside cafes, on laps and even chairs for goodness-sake, with their paws all over the tables. Dogs are even permitted into supermarkets where fresh produce is sold. Go figure! I like to sit on outdoor tables on warm days, but in no time find myself surrounded by these yapping pests. Cafes and restaurants should consider separate outdoor areas for patrons and their dogs or ban them altogether. Hey, doggy owners; dogs are not people, they’re dogs! And even though you give them human names, they’ll always be dogs! Remember, there are many of us in the area and society who do not wish to be surrounded by them. Pissed off Human Coogee Public Transport and Traffic BONDI AND COOGEE BUS PROBLEMS Dear Editor - I heartily agree with the sentiments of Con Gestion in your April edition of The Beast (The Bondi Junction Bus Sewer, The Beast, April 2021). As he correctly stated, from a safety and aesthetic point of view the current situation is just awful. In an ideal world we would have long ago extended the rail line down to Bondi Beach itself, but we all know what happened when the NIMBY brigade got wind of that plan a couple of decades ago. Perhaps though it is time to revisit the idea, and despite the fervent hopes of some locals, thousands of people from all over Sydney still flock to the beach (as they are entitled to do), and we all suffer because of the lack of an efficient transport alternative to the crowded, noisy and polluting buses, that both get caught up in and help create traffic chaos. Meanwhile, here in Coogee the bus situation is not much better. Despite several prominent signs, bus drivers regularly ignore the 40 km/h limit along Arden Street, and it is probably a matter of time before we have a fatality in this pedestrian-heavy stretch of road. In addition, every day I see buses run red lights on this road (the junction with Carr Street being the worst example of this), and never
do I see any attempt at enforcing the road rules for these heavy and fast-moving buses. I know that bus driving in Sydney must be a frustrating gig, but roaring along Arden Street (and before it was blocked to buses, Coogee Bay Road as well) is not a safe practice. Neither is the bus drivers’ habit of darting out of Havelock Avenue into oncoming downhill traffic along Arden Street a good idea. Many a time I see motorists having to slam on the brakes to avoid a collision. In summary, perhaps like with Bondi, the time has come to accept that the sole reliance on buses for our public transport in Coogee is no longer tenable. Craig Fitzsimmons Coogee THE SEWER I know Con well from my trips to Sydney, and his diatribe on the sewer that is the Bondi Junction bus station got me thinking of H.G. Wells. Sydney is becoming a city of Morlocks and Eloi, but with a distinction. Sydney’s underground dwellers are the middle class Eloi travelling to their city job on a subterranean train and wandering the labyrinth of underground walkways during mornings, evening and lunchtime. The Morlocks? Well they stay above ground but way out west. Sydney’s not alone. When I was consulting in Chicago years ago in the middle of a blazing hot summer, I went for a walk at lunchtime with my English colleague. We were alone, there was nobody else in sight, the concrete canyons were deserted so we heartily sang ‘Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun’. We went back to the office curious. The following day, Don, our ex-Italian client, invited us out for a walk at lunchtime. Don came around to our desk the next day and we all strode off, turning left at the office door and down the corridor past the lifts. ‘We’ll be using the stairs,’ I thought. We turned left at the end of the corridor, and then left again, and we were marching along the other side of the building. We turned left
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again and were back at our office door! “Aren’t we going out of the office?” I asked. “No,” said Don, “it’s too hot in summer and too cold in winter so we don’t go outside unless it’s to the underground mall where we have a walkway.” The next day we went down the lift and to the underground mall and it was heaving with people shopping, eating their lunches, getting their keys cut, etc. at an ambient air-conditioned 24 degrees - a veritable underground city! Certainly no sewer, but nevertheless disappointing to Eloi like me, conditioned to see and feel the sky. So, keep Bondi above ground and move the buses out of sight! Neil Douglas Masterton NZ MOTORCYCLE PARKING Dear Waverley Council - I learned from The Beast publication that the council may revise its motorcycle parking laws. I am strongly in favour. I live in Randwick and own a motorcycle. If parking for motorcycles were free in Waverley I would certainly spend beach days at Bondi and Bronte, as well as spend my money there. Until then, however, I’ll stick with my local beaches with free parking. All the best wishes, Alex Randwick TWO WHEELS GOOD, FOUR WHEELS BAD Dear Beast - Every day I spend at least one hour commuting from Bondi to the CBD, 17 kms in total, so my average speed is 17 km/h. Some days it takes longer and the average speed drops to 10 km/h. So when I see those bikes and scooters on the road, I am grateful that they decided to use a bike and not a big car, because if they did, my average speed could plunge even further, and my residual spare time would be fatally devoured by commuting. It seems that the riders are three times more likely to die on the road, and they certainly do not enjoy taking the risk. Most of them ride a bike because there are already too many cars around, the traffic is horrendous and parking
20 The Beast May 2021
a car is never easy. Not to mention that four bikes fit into the space of one car, if not more than that, depending on the size of the car we consider. That’s to say that, in my opinion, the council should promote and facilitate the use of the two wheels for the sake of our community, rather than changing the parking rules and asking them to pay for it. Simon Bondi NO MORE SHARED VILLAGE Hi James - I am replying to Stephen Kodak’s letter (The Beast, March 2021) titled ‘Coogee Shared Village Project Needed in Bronte’, to let him know that, as at the end of April, Coogee Bay Road will be restored to its original format and the affected bus stops and bus routes will also be restored. The majority found it to be inconvenient and the outcomes not as beneficial as expected Pancho Coogee Protecting Our Public Spaces BRONTE CUTTING LIGHTING Hi James - It’s great to see that Waverley Council listened to residents’ concerns about lighting Bronte Cutting and abandoned the proposal. Even better that they went a step further and passed a resolution to cut light pollution and examine whether to establish a Dark Sky Reserve in parks and along the coast. Great for people and for the animals that inhabit our parks. Regards, Penelope Bronte VARNA PARK Dear James - I read with interest the letter from ‘Concerned Resident’ regarding Varna Park (The Beast, April 2021). Thank you for publishing it. We have enjoyed Varna park for the 26 years or so we have lived very close by. I love the big trees and the open aspect. I have seen a family of kookaburras asleep on one of the big tree branches at night, and our dog has benefited
from a bit of ball throwing over the years. We feel lucky to live close by. I did write into the survey and voice my concern over (yet another!) fitness station, and felt a more natural environment would benefit all of us. Lord knows we all need nature in this busy area. Also Concerned Resident Waverley BURNIE PARK Good to see Varna Park is getting a facelift. How about Burnie Park? A gem of a location but neglected, tired and hazardous. The surface is deadly on small feet and the slide is an accident waiting to happen. The equipment is dated and the wood is splintering and warped. This park is used twice as much as Varna Park and the one table is hardly adequate for the number of birthday parties held each weekend. The swings are always broken and too far from the other equipment. A water source would be a bonus too. How about a competition around the local schools to design a functional, fun and safe Burnie Park? D Richards Clovelly The FOGO Bin Roll-out BINS, BINS AND MORE BINS Having lived in a small bock of units in Coogee for many years, I was surprised that Randwick Council increased the size of the red bins so that they no longer fit in the space built for them. Can we get the perfectly good smaller bins back? Now every unit has been burdened with a new huge green bin and there is of course no place to put them. As a consequence, this restricts our off-street parking facilities. Does the council really want to encourage a sea of ugly green bins left on the street throughout the suburb? Why do we have so many huge green bins for food scraps? Where are residents supposed to put them? Are we going to be charged extra? What is the cost of replacing and adding new bins?
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May 2021 The Beast 21
I am surprised that Randwick Council has implemented this system, as it is normally quite efficient in most matters. It is obvious that this project has been passed without proper planning. This scatterbrain idea needs rethinking. PJ Coogee THE GREAT NEW BIN DEBACLE Seriously, what about the new bin debacle! There are old bins all over my street, some upside down, some in driveways, some down embankments, just old bins everywhere! And not collected anywhere near on time! New bins have arrived, so most people have up to six new bins in their garage and four bins outside all over the street! Neighbours are calling me asking what bin night it is? The whole street didn’t receive the new bin program! And the red bins are being collected every fortnight? Now I’m all for sustainability, but which modern country on earth collects raw garbage every 14 days? Come on Randwick Council, get your shit together! Aren’t we paying enough rates?! Dennis Coogee WASTE MANAGEMENT GENIUS AND AN EPIC ENGINEERING FAIL Though my heart swells with FOGO-ing delight at the thought of our progressive Randwick Council initiating a superb waste management initiative in our local area, the reality of a badly designed kitchen caddy with equally useless bags has totally taken the shine off our brave new world. How hard is it to manufacture a plastic bin with a lid that actually closes without gaping or popping off its hinges, and a corresponding bag that actually fits the aforementioned caddy? Lake Macquarie City Council nailed it a year ago, while Randwick’s tendering process has given its residents a total lemon. Such a shame that so many people will be rolling their eyes and sucking in their cheeks in
22 The Beast May 2021
frustration and disappointment. Come on Randwick Council - bring in a bigger bag and ultimately ditch that crappy caddy so our crappy food waste ends up in the compost it is destined for. Kate Maroubra Other Letters to the Editor RESPONSE TO 'NIPPERS' (Letters, The Beast, March 2021) Bronte Nippers had just under 600 registrations in the season that just finished, which was less than normal as we did not run an U6 program. On a usual Sunday, Nippers are spread across the pool, Bogey Hole and beach from 8-11am. This year, Waverley Council approved the dedicated use of one lane of the Bronte Ocean Pool and shared zones across the beach including the Bogey Hole. It is true that when Waverley Lifeguards make a safety decision to close the beach we do not allow activities in the open ocean, so there is a convergence of both Nippers and members of the public into the pool and Bogey Hole. During February and March the beach was closed on most Sundays. Anyone wearing a bright orange rashie with ‘Water Safety’ printed on it has completed the Surf Life Saving Bronze Medallion course and is a proficient ocean swimmer. We ask all other parents to maintain space and not enter the water. Across the Eastern Suburbs about 4,000 kids and teenagers attend Nippers each Sunday from October through to March, and locals would know that Sunday mornings are busy at most beaches. Some beaches have more space than Bronte and may not be as crowded, and some beaches are safer than Bronte so are open more often. Nippers provides a learning space for children to develop their confidence and ocean skills, and the Bogey Hole is a great place to start because Bronte is a challenging place for young kids (and many adults) to swim. We are proud that many of our Nippers graduate to become both professional and volunteer lifesavers and
safeguard the public when swimming at Bronte. Nipper programs across the country also provide a great meeting place for boys and girls to mix, to see each other as equals and start respectful friendships as teenagers while they also learn about leadership, responsibility and community service. The Nippers community is a lot more than just a quick swim or board paddle on a Sunday, and I respectfully ask that you and other members of the public visiting Bronte Beach please be patient while Nippers is in progress as maybe one day it might be you being rescued by one of these Nippers. Craig Betts Director of Bronte Nippers WHERE HAVE ALL THE POSTBOXES GONE? Dear all - Around a quarter of the population of Bondi Junction is over 65 (census data) and these most probably over-represent the mailers of letters. They also probably over-represent persons moving around with walking aids that limit access above or below street level. Unfortunately the street accessible post boxes in the great hub of Bondi Junction are fast disappearing. The sad rusty one in Denison near Spring Street, and the one in Leswell near Oxford Street, are now closed (temporarily?). A real post office can be found upstairs in Eastgate Shopping Centre but is closed outside office hours and on weekends with, unusually, no outside postbox. The inside box is a discreetly hidden cardboard one. For a start, why not tell the staff the situation, such as where the only other street-side post box (Hollywood near Oxford) apparently resides? Could an up-to-date notice be placed outside of the Eastgate Post Office? Some situations still require signed original letters. Legal matters? Some people still send post cards. Is any politician interested in rectifying this? Can someone be offered a Cartier watch to fix this? Emeritus Professor Ben Selinger AM Bondi Junction ¢
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THUMBS DOWN THE ATM PURGE As we move closer and closer to a cashless economy, it’s getting harder and harder to launder your money. CRUEL SILENCE It’s unacceptable to remain silent when your poor mate has had a massive booger hanging out of their nose all day. MAIL ZONES Not only are they sexist, they get used for about 20 bloody minutes each day. SNAGS Catching a couple of tiny fish doesn’t compensate an amateur angler for losing over $100 worth of lures in under an hour.
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A dead hammerhead shark in the nets off the Gold Coast.
Should the Shark Nets Go? Words Lars Grayson Photo Sea Shepherd Shark nets that have protected Eastern Suburbs beachgoers since the late 1930s could soon be removed. With so many other marine creatures getting caught and dying in the nets, there is an official push to use more humane shark control methods. The netting program is run by the NSW Department of Planning, Industry and Environment, which reported a 59 per cent fatality rate among the 480 marine animals caught during the 2019/20 meshing season. Of these, only 50 - just over 10 per cent - were ‘target sharks’. The rest of the tally consisted of other large marine creatures, including stingrays, non-harmful shark species such as Port Jacksons and hammerheads, a substantial number of turtles and the occasional dolphin. Now the department is asking councils to consider alternatives to the netting program. Randwick Council recently responded, with all councillors except for two Liberals agreeing to a motion by Green and former mayor Lindsay Shurey that the nets should be replaced by smart drumlines and drones. Smart drumlines send out a signal when they catch a shark or other sea creature. A contractor then heads out to the 24 The Beast May 2021
site in a boat and releases the animal. If it is a target species a great white, tiger or bull shark - it will be tagged. When South Maroubra Surf Life Saving Club found out about Randwick Council’s stance on shark nets, a spokesman was quick to point out how last season a 4.6 metre great white was caught in one of the shark nets at Maroubra. The club “strongly rejected” the proposal to remove the nets. A look at the history of shark attacks before the nets went up would seem to support South Maroubra SLSC’s views on the retention of these effective physical barriers. In the 1920s, the waters of Coogee, Bronte, Bondi and Maroubra ran crimson, with sharks claiming four men’s lives and a woman’s legs. There was another horrific shark attack in 1935 as printing press operator Ernest MacDonald, 27, bodysurfed at Maroubra. Suddenly a 5 metre shark tore a massive hunk of flesh from his left thigh. He was trying to make his way back to shore when the shark struck again, biting off his arm. He died on the beach. One month later, on April 25, 1935, a recently-captured tiger shark on show at the Coogee
Aquarium regurgitated a tattooed human arm. It was not the arm of Ernest MacDonald, but that of a murdered criminal who had been dumped at sea. By 1937, shark nets had been placed around all the main eastern beaches. Overnight, the shark danger on our beaches disappeared. It wasn’t until February 12, 2009 that there was another local shark attack. It was 8pm and the sun was down. A shark, believed to be a juvenile great white, clamped its jaws around the left hand of surfer Glenn Orgias at North Bondi. It gave three shakes of its head, then released its grip. As fellow surfers helped Glenn back to shore, he thought he was going to die. Doctors and nurses at St Vincent’s Hospital were not able to save the hand. Despite the attack, Glenn remains a keen surfer. But these days he does not venture into the surf so late in the day. “I talked to a scientist who said that you should never go in when the sun isn’t shining on the water,” said the 45-year-old energy company executive, who wrote a book recounting the shark attack called Man in a Grey Suit. What does Glenn think of the move to get rid of the nets? “There has to be a better, more humane alternative,” he told The Beast. “Nets only cover part of the beach part of the time - they are not even up in winter. They are not a barrier, sharks can swim around them. We need more science, more funding and a willingness to consider alternatives.” And here our case rests. On the one hand, dozens of lifeless large sea creatures hanging suspended in the nets, on the other, the horror of shark attack. Hopefully technology offers a way for us to strike a natural balance and share the ocean with the sharks.
Get wheely confident
Bike riding courses to develop your skills and confidence.
Courses available:
Starts 19 April Various locations including UNSW Randwick Campus and Heffron Park Scan the QR code for more details:
• Back on your bike sessions (bike and helmet provided) • Confident city rider (intermediate)
O N T ILL E P O SK ALLEVELS L
• Local routes rides – get to know your local area by bike • Maintenance and repair skills sessions • Electric bike riding skills (bike and helmet provided)
Provided in partnership with the Randwick Collaboration Area
1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au
Bissera Dikova wants to turn this tarmac into green space.
Bringing Nature Back to Bondi Words Nicola Smith Photo George Nedialkov Residents of Castlefield Street, Bondi have come together to propose a new park between Bondi Road and Castlefield Lane. The group presented its plan to the South Bondi Precinct and are now collecting signatures to show local support for the project. Bissera Dikova, a Castlefield Street resident and backer of the project, said the lack of green space was a major issue for residents. “I love Castlefield Street because it has this character of a nice village - apartments, houses, a heritage listed church under my window, we’re getting more trees... - but it’s Bondi and it’s very densely populated, so you don’t have much green space,” she told The Beast. The proposed park would be located in the section of Castlefield Street between Castlefield Lane and Bondi Road, creating 26 The Beast May 2021
a 720m2 park to be filled with native plants and trees. Some concerns about the park include a loss of parking spaces in an area where parking is already at a premium. However, although the park would take away eight existing parking spaces, four new ones would be created on either side of the park, resulting in no net change. Traffic would also be improved, with less cars having to make the dangerous dog-leg from Boonara Avenue or the right turn from Castlefield Street onto Bondi Road. Getting support from local businesses and residents is the next step in the process, which Ms Dikova said has been the easy part. “I went along Bondi Road and spoke to the businesses, and they were fascinated and said ‘yes, of course we need a
park, there’s no green space’,” she told The Beast. Increasing green space has been a key concern for Waverley Council in recent years and is part of the Waverley Council Strategic Plan 2018-2029 that seeks to create pedestrianised welcoming spaces for residents and increase bushland trees and habitat. The NSW Government also provides grants to councils to reduce pollution and make local spaces more liveable. “We applaud residents who share our vision for a greener Waverley and are currently providing guidance to a group of residents who wish to establish a park in Castlefield Street between Castlefield Lane and Bondi Road, Bondi,” a spokesperson from Waverley council told The Beast. “Waverley Council is committed to increasing usable green space in our community and it is a focus of Council’s draft Open Space and Recreation Strategy. We are streamlining the process by which residents can apply to establish a verge garden, as well as other initiatives including our newly launched Sky Parks project.” Ms Dikova believes that the Castlefield plan is directly in line with what the council hopes to achieve. “If they want to achieve what they say they’re wanting to achieve, then they should support the plan,” Ms Dikova told The Beast. The residents hope that the park will provide community space, habitat for native animals and help to promote the physical and mental health of residents in a suburb where a huge amount of public space is dedicated to cars. If you’re a resident of the area around Castlefield Street and would like to support the project, you can email Bissera Dikova at bdikova@yahoo.com.
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Father figures.
Dads Looking Out for Dads Words Nicola Smith Photo Yosanta Rajapakse A group of Bondi dads is investing in mateship and community through their monthly support group, Fathers of Bondi. The group, which started five years ago, aims to tackle the loneliness and disconnection that men experience during fatherhood and start a conversation about these issues. Ian Coker, one of the group’s founders, explained that Fathers of Bondi was formed because he found that community was something that dads didn’t have. “Mothers, by nature, get together and chat, share experiences and concerns, and through that process there’s a shared acknowledgement of a new life stage,” Mr Coker said. “We are 50 years behind them in connecting and discussing social issues because we still think we’re alpha males who don’t need all that, but the rate of men’s suicide would suggest that we’re wrong.” Beyond Blue estimates that seven of the nine suicides that occur in Australia each day are 28 The Beast May 2021
by males and that one in eight men will experience depression in their lifetime. Fathers of Bondi started as a bacon and egg barbecue at the park but has since evolved into an evening at the Bondi Bowling Club with guest speakers. Upcoming speakers include a career coach and a men’s personal trainer, and the format is a short talk followed by dinner and conversation. Mr Coker told The Beast that he believes a man’s role has changed dramatically in the past fifty years and being a dad can now be a much more confusing experience. “Things have got very complex being a guy in the modern world and we can’t ask our dads because they just have no reference point for that kind of thing. I’m quite happy to admit that I was lonely, but not every guy is because we still think we have to be these alpha males.” The benefits of connection and community are clear in Fathers of Bondi, with many of the dads’ partners encouraging
them to go along because of the positive impact they’ve seen on their spouse. Mr Coker also believes that the group was crucial in the face of lockdowns and the strains of 2020. “It’s never been more important than now. It was ahead of its time five years ago and now it’s current because of what’s happening and because men aren’t doing well,” Mr Coker said. “What we see is the importance of shared experience. When you hear someone else is going through something like what you’re going through, it gives you the perspective that you’re not alone.” “The bowling club give us the piano room for meetings, and in winter we chat around the open fire. It’s a perfect venue for us, we’ve found our home.” Local dads are welcome to join. If you’re keen to attend you can contact them through the Fathers of Bondi Facebook page and click ‘attending’ on upcoming events. Meetings are on the first Wednesday of the month at 7.30pm.
The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city
Randwick News We’re just about to put our draft Operational Plan and Budget on display for your comment, which outlines the plans we have for the coming year. I love reading this document – it’s a big one – because it gets me excited about the programs, events, new buildings and projects that we’re going to focus on for the coming 12 months. It’s great to have something bright to focus on and look forward to after the 2020 we all had. I hope you’ll head to yoursay.randwick.nsw.gov.au before the end of May to have a look and offer us your thoughts and insights on what we have planned. One of the big projects that is coming up is the construction of the new Heffron Centre in Maroubra. The Centre will be one building including a gymnastics centre, indoor sports centre and the new home for the South Sydney Rabbitohs. The new indoor sports centre will accommodate community sports, including netball, basketball, badminton, volleyball and futsal, alongside a dedicated gymnastics facility with modern facilities. We’ll also construct new outdoor gyms in Snape Park, Maroubra and Barwon Park, Matraville, and install a new synthetic field in Coral Sea Park, Maroubra. I love these projects as they encourage people to get outside, enjoy the many green spaces we have here in Randwick City and be active. I hope they bring you some enjoyment too. Councillor Danny Said Mayor of Randwick
1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au
What’s On SUNDAY 2 MAY GORDON’S BAY BUSHCARE
9am – 1pm Access via UNSW Cliffbrook Campus, 45 Beach Street Coogee
WEDNESDAY 5 MAY SPARK IN THE PARK (AGES 0-5)
10am – 12pm Randwick Community Centre 27 Munda Street Randwick
SATURDAY 8 MAY CHEMICAL CLEAN OUT
9am – 3.30pm Clovelly Beach Car Park
THURSDAY 13 MAY AUTHOR TALK: MEREDITH BURGMANN AND NADIA WHEATLEY PRESENT RADICALS REMEMBERING THE SIXTIES 1 – 2pm Via Zoom
UNTIL SUNDAY 11 JULY EXHIBITION: URBAN WALKABOUT
Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Parade Maroubra
FRIDAY 14 MAY FRIDAY MOVIES AT LIONEL BOWEN LIBRARY: (M)
4.40 – 7.45pm Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Parade Maroubra
Better than watching Netflix.
Giving Inmates the Chance to Sing Words Nicola Smith Photo Maya Luna Prisoners across New South Wales are being given a chance to rehabilitate through the arts in a program led by the Community Restorative Centre that started at Long Bay Correctional Facility. Maroubra local Murray Cook works on the program that just released its second compilation album, Songbirds 2. “A lot of those people had never sung into a microphone before or even written a song, but when they get their songs recorded and we play it back to them you should see the look on their faces,” Mr Cook said. All the songs on the album were written, developed and recorded by inmates in corrective institutions throughout the state, from Long Bay to Broken Hill, during the Community Restorative Centre’s songwriting workshops. 30 The Beast May 2021
The songs range in style from Koori bush ballads through to spoken word, gospel, blues, reggae, heavy rock, metal and rap, featuring hard-lived, honest lyrics from deep within the heart. The program incorporates Mr Cook’s 25 years of experience, along with the help of other Eastern Beaches locals including Maroubra musician Adam Blacksmith. Mr Cook taught music classes at Long Bay from 1995 until the Baird government removed many full-time teachers, including Mr Cook, from correctional facilities under the Better Prisons reform. However, the Community Restorative Centre now reaches a wide range of prisoners across New South Wales with their songwriting workshops, which Mr Cook believes have many benefits for inmates.
“It’s usually a gateway for literacy,” Mr Cook explained, “they come in and pick up a guitar and a brush, then they do literacy and then they’re doing their HSC.” “It’s a really great way of letting off steam and building self esteem without hurting anything, and it can even give them a source of income when they leave the system.” The program has expanded to incorporate art and theatre workshops, which have been so successful that Corrective Services have started to incorporate music and art into their strategic plans. The songs on Songbirds 2, which were produced and recorded with the help of Midnight Oil’s James Moginie, have proven to be not only cathartic for the inmates writing but also some genuinely good music. “You can’t go wrong really, it’s people writing about their life and it’s straight from the heart. It’s letting them process things. You can’t really show emotion in prison, but somehow in a song it’s okay to do it, people respect that,” Mr Cook told The Beast. Inmates also receive a copy of the album that they can send to their loved ones, providing a meaningful way of connecting with those at home. In the face of COVID-19 restrictions, Mr Cook was able to record a video version of his songwriting program that inmates can now access through tablets that have been rolled out across the state. The high quality artwork produced through the Songbirds Art Workshop is on display at the Boom Gate Gallery on Anzac Parade, Malabar, which also sells copies of the albums. People can support the program by visiting the gallery or by purchasing the album at songbirds.bandcamp.com.
Who are your inspirations? Edward Hopper, Corot and Vermeer are on a long list of favourite artists. I can’t escape comparisons to Jeffrey Smart, but my favourite Australian urban landscape painter is Rick Amor. What are you working on at the moment? I’m painting iconic structures on the South Head Peninsula. This includes the Macquarie Lighthouse, Signal Station and a stone church near The Gap. Do you have any exhibitions coming up? I will be ‘exhibiting' these works through May Space Online in November.
Always learning.
Local Artist: Kevin McKay from Waverley Woollahra Art School Interview James Hutton Photo Kent Johnson Kevin McKay has been commuting to the Eastern Suburbs for over 15 years to teach at Waverley Woollahra Art School (WWAS) and run weekly painting classes... How long have you been here? I have been teaching at WWAS on Bondi Road since 2009, and I run my own weekly plein air painting class at various locations throughout the East. Why do you work here? WWAS is an artist run co-operative, where teachers and students have a say and, like the suburbs it is part of, has a positive energy of doing things and going places. What's your favourite beach? I like the family friendly vibe of Bronte, and the picnic shelters with great views to paint. What's your favourite eatery? I tend to eat badly to save money for art supplies, but my budget options closed during the lockdown and I have enjoyed the Italian pasta and sandwiches at Favoloso on Belgrave Street, Bronte.
32 The Beast May 2021
Where do you like to have a drink? Between you and me, I have been known to have a drink in the studio. Best thing about the East? Lots of hidden gems to discover with a range of architectural subjects that are never far from the water. I am partial to the P&O style houses and brighter colours that suggest we are by the sea. How would you describe your art? I mostly paint urban streetscapes. It’s fun to explore new locations, but I also enjoy painting places so familiar we have stopped noticing them. My work has been described as eerily empty. I think I look for classical stillness, and the drama of light, in the everyday and in the midst of urban transience. Where can people see your work? Many things changed over the course of last year, including my gallery, which is now a totally virtual experience - May Space Online (mayspaceonline.com.au). I also have kevinmckayart.com, and entertain the occasional visitor to my studio.
When did you discover you had a gift for your craft? I had an ‘epiphany’ at age nine when I stumbled into a family friend’s studio, saw work in progress, and knew that this is what I wanted to do. That ‘gift’ still drives me to realise that sense of purpose. Any other local artists to look out for? Agnes Tyson lives in Bellevue Hill. She responds to architectural spaces and her home environment with hard edge planes and the eye of an abstract formalist that also evokes a sense of memory. Did you study art? I am a ‘selftaught’ artist who spent 9 years at art school. I earned a Master of Fine Arts from National Art School, and am still learning. Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists? Be wary of ‘style’, which is often defined by one’s limitations. Be open to learn new things, even from the past. Treasure your primary inspirations, and never give up. Do you have a favourite quote? I like the paradox and humility in a quote from Gandhi; “Everything you do in life will be insignificant, but it’s very important that you do it anyway.” Any other words of wisdom for our readers? Every artist was first an amateur; join an art class!
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May 2021 The Beast 33
Subject Baby dinosaurs Location Centennial Park Photographer Juan A. Rojas
Subject Mum's sombrero Location La Perouse Photographer Jamily Lichaa
Subject Early risers Location Bronte Photographer Theresia Hall @flow_n_glow_tg
Subject Pot of gold Location Maroubra Photographer Kearnan @kearnanmurphyphoto
Subject On top of the world Location Clovelly Photographer Alan Wang
The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!
Subject Happy as Sally Location Maroubra Photographer Mark Hunter @bondihunter
Subject Elevation Location Tamarama Photographer Kearnan @kearnanmurphyphoto
Subject Arvo glass-off Location Maroubra Photographer Kearnan @kearnanmurphyphoto
Subject The frontman Location Bondi Junction Photographer Mark Hunter @bondihunter
Subject Mahon Pool sunrise Location Maroubra Photographer Theresia Hall @flow_n_glow_tg
Please send them to photos@thebeast.com.au
All is well.
This Land… Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblakewriter.org Photo Rose McGowan Darkness enveloped the land. A depressing grey pall hung heavily over the land and fomented despicable violence which entrenched anger, frustration, despair and fear in those victimised by birth. Toxic masculinity leeched from the pores of rabid salivating animals and sullied the pristine waterways, the same waterways that had offered solace and retreat in an imagined past; the whitecapped waves and golden sands since converted into a haven for leering eyes and lecherous ghouls. Fear racked the fairer sex. Survival strategies were devised and disseminated, carried in nervous whispers through 36 The Beast May 2021
the darkened streets and the darker web. Clothes, make-up and sobriety were scrutinised before safety was promised in the world outside - the land outside which they called home. Home, where violence had been domesticated, by those who had not. Keys to unlock inherited power were now held between forefingers. Capsicum spray sat beside scented spray and selfcare acquiesced to self-defence. Avoid the darkness, they were told, but darkness was everywhere. Darkness had swallowed the land and voraciously consumed all that was good. Emboldened by self-appointed truth tellers and by the
weakness of their rulers, they threatened and struck, abused and demeaned, dismissed and suppressed. Emboldened by the apathy, silence and spin of the law makers. Law makers or law breakers? The lines had blurred, the distinction lost. Depravity extended its greedy tentacles from the distant corridors of power to the hallowed grounds of prestige, where the elite schooled their offspring in the perpetuation of power. How good! they cheer, How good! to leer. Retain your grace, remain the same, Make-up your face, your words be tame. Enough is enough, the victims declared, but it was never enough. Never enough for the rapacious scourge which infested their world and controlled their bodies, and the bodies within bodies. The fair were few and far between, ignored in print, ignored on screen. They and their allies drowned under a deluge of ignorance and noise as the heavens unleashed a torrent of hate and lies, and cowardly cries. It comes from the sky, it comes from up high, the news we use to justify. Dystopia was not an imagined future, dystopia was a lived present, dictated for eternity by one bite of a forbidden fruit. Then he emerged. Short in stature, but bold of heart. Follow me, he declared, in messianic tones, and I will deliver you from darkness and into light. I will protect you, he promised. So, follow him they did and the light returned. Joy, gaiety and unimagined bliss filled their souls. Pink roses blossomed. Pink roses bloomed with hope and the promise of a new future. All was well in the land of pink roses.
Cult leader Davis.
Alleged Crimes of the East Words Gary Larson Maroubra woman kept as slave, AFP allege A woman is alleged to have been kept as a slave in Maroubra for two years, according to charges laid by Australian Federal Police against a man who heads a controversial northern NSW polygamy cult. It is alleged that before he moved up north, James Davis (pictured) subjected the woman to a life of slavery in Maroubra between June 2013 and July 2015. Former soldier Davis, 40, is facing charges of possessing a slave and causing a person to live in servitude. Solicitor jailed for ripping off dead clients A corrupt Edgecliff lawyer and his wife splurged $3.4 million on a Bondi Junction home for their retirement - funded by money he had plundered from the accounts of dead clients. Mark O’Brien, 64, milked more than $6 million from funds which deceased clients had bequeathed to charities. He received a 10 year sentence after being convicted of multiple fraud charges. But he should make it out around the time of his 70th birthday because the judge set a non-parole period of six years.
The fallen solicitor was a partner with Edgecliff firm Harrington, Maguire and O’Brien. He specialised in business law and wills. He used his knowledge to weave a web of deception, forging the letterheads of St Vincent de Paul and other charities to create fake receipts. Funds were channelled into the purchase and furnishing of the Bondi Junction house plus $400,000 nest eggs for each of his three adult children. There was also a superannuation fund which would help O’Brien and his accomplice - his wife Therese, the mother of those $400k kids - live out the autumn of their years in comfort. Therese was in on the fraudulent game from the beginning, when they used the illicit funds to pay off two mortgages on their previous home in North Bondi before moving into the retirement pad in Woodstock Street, near Waverley Oval. Standing alongside her husband in the Downing Centre District Court, 63-year-old Therese received a three-year intensive corrections order on separate fraud charges. They kissed, then her partner was handcuffed and taken down to the cells by sheriffs. Randwick woman targeted in ATO phone scam Police say a retired Randwick nurse handed over $15,000 to a phone scammer who claimed he was from the Australian Taxation Office. Investigators have been told the caller threatened the 66-year-old woman with arrest before transferring her to a man who claimed to be a police officer. “The woman was intimidated over a number of hours before withdrawing $15,000 from her account,” police said. She organised to hand over the funds to the ‘ATO official’ at her home. A young man showed up at her door and she gave him the cash. But, police said, “she
was able to obtain a photo of him before handing over the money.” The woman went to the police with her photo and details of the scam. Eastern Beaches Police Area Command commenced an investigation and quickly tracked down a 21-yearold Wollongong man who has been charged with dishonestly obtaining financial advantage by deception. Bondi identity has COVID charges dismissed Budgie smuggler-wearing, muscle-flexing Bondi Beach figure Dimitri Moskovich has had COVID breach and resisting police charges dismissed. Moskovich, 55, was arrested during the beach lockdowns in April last year when, wearing his trademark red Speedos and loudly protesting his innocence, he was wrestled to the ground, handcuffed and bundled into a paddy wagon at North Bondi. All charges were dismissed at Downing Centre Local Court and police have agreed to pay his $25,000 legal fees. Woman goes berko in Junction A woman allegedly went berserk in a Bondi Junction shopping centre, attacking a female off-duty police officer and members of the public. Police said the officer was trying to arrest the woman for a series of random assaults before being violently assaulted herself. The senior constable was allegedly “kicked, choked, bitten on the arm, struck in the face and had hair pulled from her scalp.” Members of the public who came to the aid of the officer were allegedly scratched and bitten by the woman. The 34-year-old was subdued by officers from Eastern Suburbs Police Area Command, who took her to Waverley Police Station where she was charged with multiple offences including assault and property damage. May 2021 The Beast 37
A nun with stolen aboriginal children.
The Unreliable Guide To... Why Woke is Broke Words Nat Shepherd Photo Dumbartung Aboriginal Corporation Unless you’ve been asleep, you will have heard the expression ‘woke’, meaning a perceived awareness of social issues and injustice, especially racism. Now, ‘woke’ seems worn out, reduced to a pseudonym/insult for trendy white liberalism and abused by corporate ‘wokewashing’ companies who tempt a younger demographic by cynically aligning with social justice issues. But if ‘woke’ is now fake, should we just go back to sleep and not worry about all that stuff? The Unreliable Guide is here with some tips on how to navigate a post-‘woke’ world.
article titled ‘If You’re Woke You Dig It’ for The New York Times Magazine, in which he discussed how white beatniks were appropriating African American slang in order to look cool. Today, many black, cultural critics call out selfcongratulatory white ‘#wokeness’ as nothing more than a shallow pastiche of real action. They say the #woke-generation are involved in a competitive ‘awareness’ of inequality that does nothing about the issues they are so busy tweeting. As my mum would say, all mouth and no trousers.
Where did 'Woke' come from? ‘Woke’ was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2017, almost a decade after Erykah Badu’s 2008 release, Master Teacher, reminded the world, “we need to stay angry, and stay woke”. But Badu was drawing on a word that already had plenty of meaning. Way back in 1837, a speech by Elizabeth Jennings Sr urged her audience of black women to “awake, and slumber no more”. By 1962, African American novelist and short-story writer William Melvin Kelley was writing an
Isn’t 'Woke' just political correctness gone mad? African-American journalist Charles Pulliam-Moore mourns the co-opting of the term ‘woke’, highlighting how “a phrase that was meant to encourage critical thinking about social issues and injustices, has slowly morphed into something that occasionally comes across as a derogatory jab at the very idea of staying ‘woke’.” According to him, by 2016, if you claimed to be ‘woke’ you were either misguided or pathetically attempting to show how
38 The Beast May 2021
‘sensitive’ you were. Whether that’s true or not, it’s now obvious that the right-wing media has fully co-opted ‘woke’ as a term of lefty abuse like ‘political correctness’. This is sneaky, because there is a big difference between being ‘PC’ and being ‘woke’, and lumping them together reduces both their power. PC focusses its attention on words and expressions, for example, knowing when to call someone ‘they’ instead of ‘she’ or ‘he’. Woke is different. Woke came from the idea that to survive as a person of colour you need to be alert. If you think you are woke because you tweet #blacklivesmatter: #change-the-date before you go and enjoy your Australia Day barbie, then you may be #woke, but you are certainly not ‘woke’. 'Woke' as a fashion statement So what went wrong for ‘woke’? Dr Brock, a professor of black digital studies at Georgia Institute of Technology, suggests, “The mainstream picked up on ‘woke’ right about the time when Black Twitter was done with it and twisted it to their own ends.” In other words, the power of being woke was deliberately diluted into a meaningless symbol of fashion. When marketing people start talking about the pros and cons of ‘woke capitalism’ you know that something has gone very wrong for a word that started life as a reminder to be on your guard in a racist, violent world. Finally, if you feel like you have ‘woke’ fatigue and would much rather go back to sleep, remember that you are lucky you can sleep safely. While only 3 per cent of our population is made up of indigenous Australians, they make up 29 per cent of the prison population. Remember that, drink a strong cup of black coffee and get up.
May 2021 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Photo Kearnan Murphy Instagram @kearnanmurphyphoto Monday 31 0642 0.42 1244 1.34 1807 0.73 3 0100 0809 1414 1934
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Moons
• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter 4 •
6 0423 1100 1716 2307
Saturday
0.36 1.39 0.65 1.88
7 0516 1.57 1142 0.54 1759 1.52
8 0000 0601 1217 1836
0.68 1.55 0.53 1.59
9 0045 0642 1249 1911
16 0519 0.58 1117 1.28 1640 0.75 2314 1.71
1.68 0.53 1.30 0.82
5 0320 1012 1626 2203
1.62 0.55 1.36 0.79
10 0125 0.58 0719 1.51 1320 0.54 1943 1.71
11 0202 0757 1349 2015
0.55 1.48 0.56 1.76
12 0239 0834 1419 2046
0.52 1.44 0.58 1.78
13 0316 0.51 0913 1.41 1450 0.62 2119 1.79
14 0355 0952 1524 2155
0.52 1.37 0.66 1.78
15 0435 1033 1600 2232
0.54 1.32 0.71 1.75
17 0608 0.61 1207 1.25 1726 0.80
18 0000 0702 1303 1822
1.66 0.62 1.24 0.83
19 0056 0800 1407 1929
1.62 0.61 1.26 0.84
20 0158 0858 1512 2043
1.61 0.58 1.33 0.81
•
21 0304 0950 1609 2154
1.62 0.52 1.44 0.74
22 0407 1039 1700 2259
1.65 0.45 1.57 0.63
24 0000 0600 1210 1836
25 0057 0656 1256 1924
0.40 1.67 0.37 1.98
26 0153 0751 1343 2013
0.31 1.63 0.40 2.06
27 0249 0848 1430 2102
0.26 1.57 0.45 2.10
28 0345 0945 1521 2154
0.25 1.50 0.51 2.08
29 0443 1044 1614 2246
0.28 1.43 0.59 2.01
0.51 1.68 0.37 1.86
Bondi traffic.
•
•
1.59 0.55 1.44 0.74
2 0700 0.43 1300 1.31 1825 0.74
1 0554 1155 1725 2359
0209 0914 1525 2050
1.77 0.49 1.28 0.80
Sunday
0.63 1.53 0.53 1.66
23 0505 1.67 1125 0.40 1748 1.72 30 0542 1143 1709 2341
0.34 1.38 0.66 1.91
Not the end of the world.
It Is What It Is... Words Jeremy Ireland Photo Bob Jane Recently I went camping up the coast with my brother and a few mates. We’ve been going on this annual trip for over 20 years now. This time it was a little different, as it happened to coincide with the once-ina-hundred year rain event that saw large parts of the Mid North Coast flood. Rock fishing is one of the main activities, and getting to our particular spot involves a two kilometre walk along the headland through some pretty dodgy terrain. We knew we’d be trudging through water and mud up to our knees, which didn’t terribly excite me. My brother, the Rex Hunt of our group, noted my reluctance and yelled, “Come on mate, it’s only water, what’s the worst that could happen?” After contemplating his remark, I decided to accept that I was going to get filthy and just went with it. It was quite a liberating feeling. Sure, I might get wet, cold and muddy, but by simply accepting this fact it allowed me to see the situation for what it was and pushed me to move on. With fishing rods in hand and a fresh new mindset, off we plodded, only to come back hours later with a bucket full of fish. I felt glad I went. 40 The Beast May 2021
The concept of acceptance is a technique often used in therapy to help people cope with the situation they find themselves in. The type of therapy in particular is called ‘acceptance and commitment therapy’ (ACT), and was first pioneered by Dr Stephen C. Hayes back in the 1980s. ACT has one central message; to accept what is out of your personal control and commit to action that improves and enriches your life. ACT revolves around the idea that distress or pain is actually increased when we focus on trying to get rid of it, so instead of trying to get rid of it we can just accept it. This doesn’t mean we should try and defeat such feelings, but rather we allow the painful emotions to be present and create room for them without trying to struggle against them. Let’s try another example using the acceptance technique. Say it’s a hot sunny day, you’re down at the beach and you get caught out as you realise you forgot your sunscreen. You may simply say, “I might get a bit burnt,” and accept that you’re going to get a bit fried. It doesn’t mean you won’t find some way to cope like finding shade, nor does it mean you’re
pleased about getting sunburnt; it simply means you are seeing things as they are and accepting it. With a thought or an emotion, by accepting we are simply recognising that the thought or emotion exists, like an outside observer standing back in a non-judgemental way, not trying to control what is happening in the present moment. Acceptance is essentially saying, ‘It is what it is’. It gives us the power to see things for how they are and not ruminate, criticize or complain, especially when the situation or experience is out of our control. An exercise I often use in therapy is to ask what’s the worst that could happen, and what does that mean? Say you get a flat tyre on your way to work and you can feel you’re getting angry. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen and what does that mean?” You might answer, “Well, I’ll be late, miss the 10am meeting I’d scheduled and get yelled at by the boss.” Ask the question again, “What’s the worst that could happen and what does that mean?” You answer, “I’ll have to call the boss, explain what’s happened and ask everyone to reschedule.” Keep asking the question, and before long the impact of the situation will have whittled down to practically nothing. In essence, we are using this exercise to help us accept something that’s happened and park it in the here and now. The technique can be used as a way to cope with most situations regardless of the magnitude. The take home message? By accepting it we are not suppressing it. Easier said than done, but perhaps worth a try. Have you got a question? Please contact Jeremy at bondicounsellingservices.com.
erty may be a sound investment if mortgage rates never rise, but under more normal conditions of 5-7 per cent, property could be more risky than most expect. In the short-term, the $200 billion of free money the RBA gave the banks for 3 years will likely keep the market frothy, but property is not a short-term purchase and buying a leveraged long-term asset based on shortterm rates may not be wise.
Don’t be foolish.
Where to Stash Your Cash? Words Rob Shears In a world of near-zero interest rates, deciding where to invest your wealth has never been more difficult. Despite dismal returns, inflation is still expected to remain at 2 per cent or more over the coming years. The world’s largest hedge fund manager, Ray Dalio, recently quipped, “Cash is trash!” So, what should you do? It depends on your personal circumstances, but here are some options... Bonds As investment guru Warren Buffett stated, “Bonds are return-free risk”. At ultra-low yields, a number of bonds may not compensate you for the risk. Property Aussies’ love for property is not something new. What’s not to love? It’s bricks and mortar! Mortgage rates have gone one way since 1989, but are net rental yields circa 2 per cent going to compensate you for potential future rate rises? Prop-
Shares Aussies are less excited about shares than property. Property can’t really go to zero, whereas with shares there are risks of potentially doing your dough. This could happen in extreme cases, but over the long-term shares have had a slightly higher unlevered return than other asset classes. Having said that, there has never been more speculative excess in share markets as we are seeing now, and we are certainly not at the bottom of a market cycle. Buying the world’s best companies at reasonable prices may be the last bastion of reasonable returns. Buying a resilient company with a 25 per cent return on capital should do fine over the long-term. Some of these companies are surprisingly cheap right now. Well-known businesses like Microsoft, Amazon, Facebook, Alphabet (Google and YouTube), Unilever (Streets, Rexona, Lipton) and Reckitt (Dettol, Finish, Durex) have decades of growth ahead and offer free cash flow yields above 4 per cent. A growing 4 per cent is likely better than the return offered by other asset classes, i.e. property, bonds and cash. Alternatives Private equity, hedge funds, venture capital, mezzanine finance and structured products often look good, until they
aren’t. With leverage, anything can look attractive at low rates. Those stepping out of conventional asset classes into opaque, often highly leveraged structures, may be taking risks they don’t understand. The Blue Sky Alternative Investments failure, and more recently the Greensill failure, highlight the risks of going off road. Greater fool assets There are countless other assets that rely on the ‘greater fool theory’. These assets have no income and are solely reliant on selling to another fool at a higher price. Crypto currencies, non-fungible tokens, art, collectibles, gold, speculative companies and other zeroyielding assets have all risen considerably with the decline in interest rates and central bank intervention. In a world of zero rates, assets with no income look less dumb than in more normal times, but if rates were 15 per cent I doubt Bitcoin would be as popular. Long-term low rates may allow these assets to continue their ascent, but there are plenty of safer ways to grow your wealth. Never has the task of allocating capital been more difficult. Diversification, caution, avoiding doing dumb things and succumbing to FOMO are your best defence against the ‘everything bubble’. Rob Shears is an Authorised Representative of Valor Financial Group (AFSL 405452). This advice is general and does not take into account your objectives, financial situation or needs. You should consider whether the advice is suitable for you and your personal circumstances. May 2021 The Beast 41
An entire community versus one developer.
We've Already Lost Control Words Dr Marjorie O'Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Con Dominium I am often approached by people who are seeking to better understand our planning system. In particular, they want to know why certain buildings have been allowed, or why their local council has approved something despite community opposition, especially when the council has apparently sided with the community and rejected the development. The answer is simply that local communities, and their democratically elected local councils, have had their powers eroded away and replaced by NSW State Government regulations. The influence of the views of a local community has been diminished in favour of a statewide vision and plan. We are no longer in control of our own backyards. The provision for ‘spot rezoning’ by the NSW State Government is one such example. This regulation enables developers to circumvent local planning rules and request a ‘Rezoning Review’ directly with the NSW Department of Planning. This loophole and deliberate policy change by the NSW State Gov42 The Beast May 2021
ernment means that when a developer asks for a rezoning of a property (notwithstanding that the Local Environment Plan (LEP) review is years away), when the local council says no, developers can go behind the back of the council directly to the NSW State Government to secure what it wants. This loophole is only available to developers - not to normal citizens - and can produce results contrary to the wishes of a local community. There are two examples of this currently occurring in the Eastern Suburbs that people will be familiar with. The first concerns the over-development of 194-214 Oxford Street, Bondi Junction, which has been opposed by both Waverley Council and the local community since 2015. The proposal included an increase in height standards from 15 metres to 36 metres (from three storeys to 13 storeys), resulting in monstrous towers that would overshadow Centennial Park. Despite Waverley Council rejecting this development numerous times, the developers were able to receive
approval by going directly to the NSW Liberal Government Minister. The second example is that at Little Bay, where Meriton sought a rezoning to increase the number of dwellings from 450 to nearly 2,000, and to increase the maximum building heights from five to 23 storeys. Despite considerable community opposition, the NSW Government, while acknowledging that 23 storeys might be a bit too high, has signed off on a whopping 17! Despite the historical importance of the area and the significant heartfelt community opposition, the NSW Liberal Government has approved the construction of an entirely new town centre at Little Bay, complete with a hotel, shopping centre and gym. This is a totally over the top, comprehensive, garden‑variety overdevelopment. Local Environment Plans and Development Control Plans are meant to be strategic documents designed by local councils in collaboration with their communities to guide development approvals in their local areas. However, those powers and documents mean little today because developers are not required to comply with them, because they now have backdoor access to the NSW Government Minister. Most of us recognise the tension that exists between our own local interests and those of the broader state, federal and global communities. We understand that sometimes our local interests need to be curtailed in the context of broader societal needs, but do we have the balance right at this moment in time? Is it really okay that developers have the power to influence State Government decisions that override community interests? I think not, but I would like to hear your views.
Upcoming Legislation
Stamp Duty and Land Tax
Voluntary Euthanasia
In last year’s budget, the Treasurer outlined his plan to phase out stamp duty by the 2024/25 financial year, and to introduce a land tax. This is a significant change to the structure of State taxation in NSW and will impact people in very different ways depending on their home ownership status and future home ownership/ investment plans.
The Member for Sydney, Alex Greenwich MP, has indicated that in 2021 he will be introducing a Private Members Bill to the NSW Parliament which looks to legalise Voluntary Euthanasia. While a Bill is yet to be presented to the Parliament, this is an issue that many people across our community have very strong views about. I have made a commitment that I will not make any decisions regarding such legislation without consulting our community, which is why I want to hear from you.
There is a consultation period currently open and I want to hear what you think about these significant changes. You can do so by scanning the QR code on the left and filling out my quick survey.
I have created a short survey to help me canvas the views of our community that you can complete here by simply scanning the QR code on the right.
Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP
Member for Coogee If you have any issues at all that you require assistance with, please do not hesitate to contact my office on 9398 1822, email coogee@parliament.nsw.gov.au, or come in at 15/53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick.
To fill out my community survey, scan this QR code!
Authorised by Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP. Funded using parliamentary entitlements.
Autumn treats.
Fabulous French Onion Pies Words and Photo Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine French onion soup tastes so good because the French take their time with cooking and enjoy the process. Inspired by that culture, I have taken the soup base and turned it into delicious savoury pies. The labour comes from peeling and chopping all those onions (along with a few tears), stirring as it cooks and preparing the pastry, however this is a simple and rewarding recipe that is so tasty and will keep you warm and happy on the inside this winter. Bon appétit! Ingredients Caramelised onions 1.5kg brown onions, sliced thinly 2.5L beef stock 100gm butter, chopped 1 tbs fresh thyme 44 The Beast May 2021
1.5 tbs fresh sage, finely chopped Ground black pepper (to season) 180gm Gruyere, grated 1 pkt store bought puff pastry 1 egg, lightly beaten (for brushing pastry) Method 1. To make the pie filling, melt the butter in a heavy based saucepan over medium heat. Add in the onions and cook for 15 minutes with the lid on or until onions are soft. Stir halfway to ensure they don’t stick to the bottom. Remove the lid, add the thyme and sage and cook for a further 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. 2. Add the stock, 1 cup at a time, and simmer until it has almost evaporated. Add the remaining
½ cup and season with freshly ground pepper. Cook gently for another 15-20 minutes until the mixture is thick. Take off the heat and cool for 10 minutes. 3. Pre-heat the oven to 200 degrees. 4. This recipe makes around 24 mini pies, so you will need enough muffin tins to hold that amount. 5. Line the tin with small squares of baking paper or generously grease with butter and olive oil spray. 6. Thaw the frozen pastry sheets slightly and, using a metal ring or glass (8cm in diameter), cut rounds into the pastry for the pie bases and lids. You will need 48 rounds, which will make 24 mini pies. 7. Place the pastry bases into the tin(s), spoon in the pie filling leaving ½ cm gap at the top. Put a generous amount of the gruyere on top of the onion then place a pastry round on each pie for the lids, gently pressing the edge of each into the pastry base. 8. Cut a ½cm slit into the pastry lid of each pie to allow steam to escape during cooking. 9. Brush each pie lightly with egg wash. 10. Place into the hot oven and turn the temperature down to 180 degrees. Bake for approx. 25 minutes or until pastry has puffed up and is golden. 11. Remove from the oven and each pie from the tin and serve. Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to here in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.
Living for the gigs.
Making Music: Before The King Words Alasdair McClintock @aldothewriter Photo Cooper Hill @capturedbythehill Cranking Before The King’s latest single immediately brings one back to the early 2000s. The Arctic Monkeys were about to burst onto the scene, emo was dying, and black hair and Dickies pants were being replaced by big hair and skinny jeans. The ‘70s were back, basically, in both style and sound, though I’m not sure anyone involved realised it. Fast forward to now and the Sydney-siders feel like a second (third?) coming of sorts. Let me just say, if this sound is coming back, I am well and truly down with it. It’s impossible not to draw comparisons with Arctic Monkeys’ first album, Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not, and considering that was lauded as “one of the best British albums of all time”, this is no bad thing. The band make no apologies for it either (and why should they?), proudly declaring “Early-‘00s indie rock is our canon,” when they caught up with The Beast.
They are three quarters Maroubra boys, made up of lead vocalist, Dean Smusko, drummer, Gabe Jammy (best muso name ever?), bassist, Dan Radomsky, and lead guitarist, Oscar Dalkin, who is actually from Blackheath and “lives in a solar powered shack in the Blue Mountains.” They bring with them the tongue-in-cheek cockiness of the era too, which is evident in the sharpness of their lyrics and certainly makes for an interesting interview. “Sydney has some of the greatest bands in the world!” the band said. “And by having the word King in our band name … well, you get the idea.” There were more than a few they gave a shout out for though, “Ambient Book Club, I Know You Know, The Lazy Eyes... and many, many more.” It’s indicative of how tight the local scene has become since it started feeling suspiciously like the state government and even the universe itself wanted the
live music scene to implode. It hasn’t though, and it won’t, because people, quite simply, dig music too much. Before The King managed to stay busy through the worst of it. “2020 certainly put a dampener on our plans. We live for our gigs, and took their absence heavily. That said, we released two singles - both of which were met with a warm reception and ran a number of ambitious social media campaigns. “In May, we reached out to renowned music blogger Damien Keyes and pestered him until he agreed to host a 30 minute Skype call with us. Later in the year, we scored our very own, eponymous burrito from Beach Burrito Co and hosted a single launch at their Newtown shop.” You can listen to Before The King’s new single, ‘You Think You’re Right (But That’s Where You’re Wrong)’, on all the standard streaming platforms and hit up the usual socials to catch a gig soon! May 2021 The Beast 45
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HUCK HASTINGS Cheers to Progress Label Huck Hastings Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating Full disclosure, I used to work with this guy, so I came in a little biased, but I genuinely think this is great. I did not expect him to be this good - I should have been nicer to him. Witty, introspective lyrics, combine with catchy melodies that will have you humming all week. Fans of Elliott Smith will get a kick out of Hastings and I would go as far to say, for them at least, it is a must listen. There is more optimism in Hastings’ verse, however, which is good, considering how things turned out for Elliott Smith.
SKEGSS Rehearsal Label Loma Vista Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating
THE FATHER Genre Drama Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador It is obvious from the opening scene of writer Florian Zeller’s feature film directorial debut, which has been adapted from his award-winning play titled The Father, that this is going to be a profoundly moving and exceptional film. Confusion reigns for Anthony (Anthony Hopkins), his daughter Anne (Olivia Colman) and the audience in this beautifully crafted drama that takes us on a roller-coaster of emotions while depicting the evaporating memories that lie in the labyrinth of Anthony’s wavering mind. Zeller cleverly plays with reality by way of subtle changes to the apartment décor and swapping cast members in order to disorient the viewer and push the boundaries of what is real and what is not, thereby allowing us to be immersed in the torment of Anthony and Anne’s insidious (tragic) situation. I can guarantee there will be tears shed while watching The Father. It will be an uneasy watch for some as it cuts close to the bone, but despite the deeply tragic subject matter, it should definitely be seen by all. My prediction is, numerous Oscars are forthcoming. 48 The Beast May 2021
I’m a huge Skegss fan and as a result I may have been guilty of expecting too much here. I was hoping for a life-changing album that would bring back my long lost joie de vivre and fill me with a wonderful optimism for the rest of my years, but I didn’t get it. Sadly, I’ve experienced more growth on the weird thing on my little toe than Skegss has musically since their last album. It’s more or less the same as My Own Mess, but the lyrics aren’t as smart and the songs don’t quite have the same energy. It’s ok though.
ZIGGY ALBERTS searching for freedom Label Commonfolk Records Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating Australia’s answer to Jack Johnson is back with a far bigger spotlight on him now. I liked his last album and on the surface this appeared a fine addition, but then when you start listening properly… sheesh. Folk singers have long been political, but Ziggy is heading into Pete Evans’ conspiracy territory and it is grating. If I need medical advice, I will go to a doctor, not Instagram, and certainly not a muso. I’m mostly annoyed, because I was looking forward to searching for freedom and now I don’t even want to listen to his old one again.
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ACROSS 1. Job (10) 8. Magma once it breaks through the Earth’s surface (4) 9. Stop before it happens (7) 10. Highest attainable point (6) 11. Often a lament for the dead (5) 12. Kindergarten Cop actor (6) 14. Used to lure fish (6) 16. Direction (3) 17. Steve Carell’s character in Despicable Me (3) 18. Informal greeting (2) 19. Angry expression (5) 20. Symbol for neon (2) 22. Goes really well in an exam (4,1,4)
DOWN 1. Ostentatiously luxurious (8) 2. ... Clearwater Revival (9) 3. More than enough (6) 4. Eponymous (7) 5. Actor who played Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour, Gary ... (6) 6. Chemical symbol for Sodium (2) 7. Attentive to detail (10) 13. Approximately 21 per cent of air is ... (6) 15. Tight exercise clothes (5) 16. Weakens (5) 18. Acronym of concussion test for contact sports (1,1,1) 21. Tesla and Nio are in the ... industry (1,1)
Trivial Trivia Words Cameron Anderson Photo Theresia Hall Instagram @flow_n_glow_tg Who invented, discovered or founded the following? 1. Penicillin 2. Dynamite
3. Huffington Post 4. The battery 5. Cleo Magazine 6. Radium
7. Snapchat 8. Jupiter’s Moons 9. Computer programming 10. The Beast magazine
First light at Giles. May 2021 The Beast 49
Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 The reason you’re so unhappy is because you don’t really try. Stop relying on others to bring you joy and start making an effort.
Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 You have a tendency to overestimate what you know and underestimate what others know, and it’s really infuriating for everyone.
Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 Now that the warmer months are behind us and there’s no pressure to look hot, it’s time to relax and become a fat slob again.
Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 The reason people find it so hard to argue with you is because you’re always right. Even when you’re wrong, you know you’re right.
Visions Beardy from Hell
Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 Buy tickets to a show and help all the performers who have done it tough this last year, even though they’re earning more than you.
Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 This month you’re going to really enjoy having various fruits and vegetables either touching or very close to your private parts.
Taurus Apr 21-May 21 Earn some good karma by flicking a few bucks to a cancer charity like The Leukaemia Foundation or Dreams2Live4.
Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 Accepting that not everything will go your way will empower you to see things for how they really are, i.e. pretty f*cked.
Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 The older you get, the less you’ll enjoy spending your money, so stop trying to save and spend as much as you possibly can now.
Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Buy a teddy bear to cuddle at night. They’ve got ones that can pretty much replace your partner, and they don’t snore or fart.
Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 Love is in the air. Be careful where you get your jollies though because you’re too shit at lying to get away with anything.
Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 Brace yourself for the life-changing moment when you realise that all of your closest friends are complete dickheads.
Star Signs
Trivial Trivia Solutions 1. Alexander Fleming 2. Alfred Nobel 3. Arianna Huffington 4. Alessandro Volta 5. Ita Buttrose 6. Marie and Pierre Curie 7. Evan Spiegel 8. Galileo Galilei 9. Ada Lovelace 10. James and Daniel Hutton 1
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