The Beast - May 2022

BEAST The

May 2022

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Make Your Vote Count on May 21 Words James Hutton @thebeastmag Welcome to the May 2022 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s flooded beaches of the east. Yep, it’s been another rainy month here in the Eastern Beaches, maybe it’s time to book a trip to Bali? I wanted to give our hard-working delivery crew a bit of flexibility around Easter so we’re starting to get this one out a little earlier than usual. We take a full week to get all the mags delivered, that’s the only way to insure they arrive safe and snug in your mailbox, rather than arriving as a soggy, plastic-wrapped mess.

Bondi artist Jill Hamilton is the talent behind this month’s moody cover painting of Ben Buckler.

I thought it was pretty timely considering the relentless deluge we’ve experienced of late. You can see more of Jill’s work by visiting her website, www.myrrhmarketing.com.au/art, or giving her a follow on @jmurrayhamilton_art.

6 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

The Bronte Surf Life Saving Club redevelopment has been moving along behind the scenes.

A more realistic plan has been designed by a local architect and a community consultation workshop has been scheduled for 10am to 3pm on Saturday, April 30 at the club. There will be presentations at 11am and 1pm for around 30 minutes, and the session will include open workstations where people can look over the proposal in detail and ask questions. The more stakeholders we can get along to this, the better.

There’s a lot of politics in this edition of The Beast - there must be an election looming! Thank you to all of the candidates who put their faith in this little publication to share their messages - I’m stoked to have you all involved.

Incumbent Matt Thistlethwaite will comfortably retain Kingsford Smith, but just three years

on from his narrow victory over independent candidate Dr Kerryn Phelps, Dave Sharma is facing another tough battle in Wentworth. In that time he has established himself as an excellent local member who is clearly in it for the long-haul. Independent Allegra Spender has run a cracking campaign and has a lot of support.

The Greens have exceptional representation too. Please, do your research before casting your vote.

Get on the candidates’ websites and examine their policies; look for the detail and email them to ask for clarification if necessary.

Don’t rely on hearsay and propaganda, make your vote count!

Flip over the page and you’ll see my favourite photo from the big swell of 2022, Richard Freeman’s (@freemanphoto) terrifying frame of Bronte’s biggest charger and all-round legend, Adrian ‘Taco’ Kovacic, taking on this monster at the fabled ‘Cemmo’s’. Adrian made it safely back to land via Tamarama, board broken but body intact.

Nothing but respect for this guy.

Cheers, James

CONTENTS May 2022 Issue 208 06 08 10 12 22 30 32 33 38 40 42 44 46 48 50 52 54 56 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 66

Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Monthly Mailbag Local News Police News Local Photos Dave's Liftout Local Artist Unreliable Guide Kieran's Satire Money Matters Headnoise Marj's Musings Dave's Diary The Green Room The Independent Thistle's Thoughts Fishing Report Tide Chart Dana's Recipe Business Cards The Cynic Bandage Brainteasers Reviews Beardy from Hell Trivia Solutions

Australian women protest conscription during the Vietnam War.

An Activist for the People Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Margot Lobby Life is full of nice little surprises, and it was a nice little surprise to discover, via the letters pages of The Beast, that Pearl is “a well know activist for Labor and The Greens”. Since I have no political affiliation, no party membership, I am rather confused, though that could be blamed on my advancing age.

Despite the inaccuracy of this statement (can I sue for defamation?) I am highly flattered that a reader assumes that both Labor and The Greens would employ Pearl as a lobbyist, but since the mainstream media appears to be supporting neither party, it is easy to think that someone as insignificant as Pearl has gone into bat for the forgotten. The Australian Financial Review is far too 10 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

preoccupied with being a whiny advertising feature for big business and an apologist for the LNP, The Sydney Morning Herald is totally consumed with pushing up property prices and keeping interest rates low in support of Domain.com.au, and The Australian, which we all know is really a front for The Institute of Public Affairs, is devoted to enhancing “The Australian Way of Life” by ensuring the rich get richer at everyone else’s expense.

Obviously, these rags have no room for Labor and The Greens in their typeface, leaving the political lobbying to the Pearls of the world.

Alas, Pearl is no political activist (although I won’t say no to a paid gig, as long as my

unfranked superannuation dividends are left unfranked), and unfortunately the rumourmonger has mistaken the very nature of my columns, or perhaps misread them in a pent-up fury. Through my columns, Pearl has become an activist, not for political parties, but a supporter of those people whose voices have been drowned out by the affluent, educated middle class intent on protecting and maintaining their wonderful lifestyles and monstrous SUVs from rising inflation and fuel costs. For this I make no apologies.

Through The Beast, Pearl can bring to the fore those issues that need to be discussed.

When one’s life revolves around pilates, wellness juices, luxury holidays, a six-figure salary and a seven-figure mortgage, it is easy to become self-obsessed, so it’s nice to have Pearl to steer one’s attention back to the real Australian way of life (that lies across ANZAC Parade).

Whether it is bringing Perrottet’s iCare and Porter’s RoboDebt to light, or admonishing the Prime Minister’s hypocritical and faux religious leanings, or discussing the government’s persecution of those relying on Centrelink or paying out on the powerful banking, mining, forestry and building sectors, Pearl is here to rant. Pearl makes no apologies for her so-called ‘activism’ against a government that will champion big business regardless of the human and environmental cost, a government willing to torch taxpayers’ money (on refugee detention, submarines, corporate socialism and royal commissions - the findings of which they ignore) without accountability.

And, when it comes to Pearl and political parties, sweeties, think FUSION - the Science, Pirate, Secular and Climate Emergency Party - LOL!

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The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The Political People of the Eastern Suburbs Local, State and Federal Government Issues PARKING PERMITS AND UNCONSCIONABLE CONDUCT Dear James - The “Long-time Resident of Bondi Beach” (Letters, The Beast, April 2022) deserves some sympathy in the dispute with Waverley Council about where to put the parking sticker. I had the same trouble a few years ago. I managed to get the State Debt Recovery Office (SDRO) on side and the fines were withdrawn.

Under the parking legislation, the council can set and enforce the conditions of its permits.

But, if the conditions are not clear, or if they are confused or inconsistent, then the council will have trouble in justifying any fine. The problem is that the council has not always been clear in specifying the conditions. If you look at your current parking permit document printed on council letterhead you will see that the problem continues.

Under the “INSTRUCTIONS TO AFFIX PERMIT” heading, it reads, “The parking permit must be affixed to the vehicle’s bottom left front windscreen,” in order to be valid. But under the “PARKING PERMIT - CONDITIONS OF USE” heading, it reads, “Permits must be affixed to the passenger side of the vehicle’s front windscreen and in such a manner as to be readily visible from outside 12 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

the vehicle.” There is nothing about “bottom left” in the conditions. So which prevails? Is it the conditions or the instructions?

I reckon that in a hard fought courtroom battle, the conditions would prevail and “Long-time Resident of Bondi Beach” would succeed, unless and until Council amends the conditions.

By the way, I’m really surprised that “Long-time Resident of Bondi Beach” says the council has been sending renewal notices for years. I’ve never received one, not for over a decade, and nobody in my street has ever received a reminder. Maybe the residents of Bondi Beach were given some special preference?

Mark Paul Queens Park HOT AIR IN WENTWORTH With the federal election yet to be called, battle lines are already drawn in blue-ribbon Wentworth between ex-diplomat, Liberal incumbent Dave Sharma and his independent challenger, Allegra Spender. And as voters across the country demand greater action on climate change, Mr Sharma MP is working hard to polish his credentials.

Even The Mail Online’s opining that the climate issue “has the potential to swing votes.”

So, Mr Sharma has swung into action. As a progressive in the Liberal camp, he’s long advocat-

ed that Australia should do more (and could have done more) to mitigate global climate change.

He pressed the government to commit to net-zero emissions by 2050.

Mr Sharma now claims Australia’s record on the climate front is rather better than critics and activists allege. His office states that greenhouse gas emissions are 20 per cent down on levels in 2005 (double the average rate of reduction, they say, among other high-income OECD countries) and that emissions are currently at their lowest in more than 30 years.

Ahem. Not so, claim Mr Sharma’s detractors.

His challenger, Ms Spender, herself a scion of a Liberal shadow minister, says the country can’t afford another electoral cycle of “spin, denial and inaction on climate change…” and says Mr Sharma has not been able to deliver on the promises made on climate policy.

The government’s own data appear to contradict Mr Sharma’s office’s assertions. If you take changes in land usage out of the equation (such as converting bush to pasture to raise cattle - a spurious enterprise these days), emissions of greenhouse gases in this country have actually risen by nearly seven per cent since 2005.

The pandemic has also been what’s driven greenhouse gas reductions over the past two years, and state and household adoption of solar technologies have also helped - with virtually no support from Canberra.

Overall, Australia’s performed worse than any of the world’s 22 wealthiest countries - and Russia. The country has failed to advance up the rankings of other rich countries transitioning to less polluting energy sources.

Two years ago, Liberal MP Katie Allen made the same claims which failed to stand up

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to the scrutiny of an ABC Fact Check. One claim, that emissions had fallen since 2005, dismissed as misleading; another, that emissions were the lowest they had ever been: incorrect.

If Mr Sharma wishes to update his climate repertoire, he might also take note of the latest Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change report which makes it very clear that Australia should now be aiming to reach net-zero carbon emissions much sooner than 2050… possibly as early as 2035.

It seems Wentworth’s wellheeled voters might be expecting fewer emissions of hot air.

Climate Action Inner East Wentworth SHARMA’S BANDWAGON With an election looming, not only ScoMo’s “vote-for-mebudget” swings into action, Sharma’s bandwagon is also cranked up. While usually pretending to care about the environment - under a coal-into-parliament-carrying Liberal Prime Minister (ScoMo) - this time Sharma has jumped on the Ukrainian bandwagon.

Dave Sharma says, “Australia has announced a new range of financial sanctions and travel bans against over 350 key Russian officials.” I am sure Mr Putin will be petrified.

While Sharma’s Photoshopped PR image on page 55 of the April edition of The Beast has the Ukrainian flag in the background, he and his PM have been sleeping at the wheel when it comes to issues closer to home as China establishes itself on the Solomon Islands.

Well, what do the Solomon Islands get from ScoMo, Sharma and their party? Two things: they get atomic subs from ScoMo’s “less boats for more money” policy and rising sea levels from coal-loving ScoMo and pretending environmentalist Sharma.

14 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

The environment, Ukraine and the Solomon Islands do not really matter, as long as Australians jump on ScoMo and Sharma’s bandwagon.

Thomas Klikauer Sweet Coogee GOOD WORK, DAVE Dave Sharma says he “helped pass through Parliament the Online Safety Act” (Keeping Australians Safe Online, The Beast, March 2022). Dave has quite a unique take on helping.

He isn’t a minister and, according to Hansard, made no speech whatsoever on the legislation. So I guess “helping” meant he voted with the government.

On that basis, Dave has also helped stymie meaningful action on climate change, keep refugees locked up indefinitely and prevent any form of Integrity Commission. Well done, Dave!

Michael Berg Randwick RAIN! Dear James - We enjoy swimming and surfing in a warmer ocean, but warmer water is actually the cause of our recent catastrophic floods and storms.

In this La Niña summer of clouds, relatively cooler conditions and rain, sun-heated warmer surface waters are being pushed across the Pacific towards Australia’s east coast by La Niña winds.

Decades of global warming have already increased the average temperatures of the oceans and air across the planet. When warm La Niña water arrives, it adds to already warmed oceans and evaporation increases.

Further, research has identified that rivers of water vapour laden air from tropical regions to our north are travelling southwards along the east coast. This adds to the water vapour loads in the coastal air. Warm air holds more water vapour than cold

air. Pushed up over the Great Dividing Range, the rising air cools. The increased loads of water vapour condense into water droplets, forming rain clouds.

Energy is released when water vapour condenses. Recently, condensation events have released explosions of energy into the upper atmosphere, making air around the clouds circulate much faster, collide and generate high winds and intense electrical storms. Queensland people said they experienced not just a flood, but a hurricane as well. Localised rain bombs also result.

We are all struggling with the wet weather, floods and dirty beaches, but spare a thought for marine life from the Great Barrier Reef to Tasmania’s kelp forests. Marine ecosystems are already stressed with the warming ocean. Muddy, dirty flood water running into the ocean blocks sunlight penetration, causing further damage. Sea grasses will die, coral will bleach further. It’s no wonder UNESCO is back again so soon to reassess whether the Great Barrier Reef is endangered.

The root cause of these compounding problems is warming caused by carbon emissions from extracting and burning oil, gas and coal. We know the era of fossil fuels is over and the world must move on. Australia is ready to promote a domestic transformation to renewably generated electricity to fuel vehicles, illuminate streets and keep your lights on.

An exciting future as energy hubs is waiting for large commercial centres like Bondi Junction. Expansive rooftops can become solar farms. This electricity can be stored in banks of batteries, distributed to local homes and businesses, and used by customers with electric vehicles who can plug into easily accessed carpark recharging stations while they shop.

The grass aisway, If there’s greener atit.

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Issue 208 May 2022 The Beast 15

Australia’s solar capacity is the envy of the world. As a market leader, smart renewable energy solutions can be exported and industrial opportunities opened up, including green hydrogen and steel manufactured from locally refined iron ore.

Well positioned to meet weather challenges and transform itself from a climate victim into an energy leader, Australia needs political vision and determination to harness all the wisdom and skills already within the community. With leadership, this will - and must - happen.

Mora Main Waverley

PAGE 12 , ISSUE 207 What Pearl said! Everyone, read and then re-read her most recent column (Owning the Mental Health Crisis, The Beast, April 2022). Print it out and send it to our politicians, doctors, parents and teachers, and those that “create content” and create the inequitable property market that this generation cannot buy into.

These children will be our legacy and will write our collective epitaphs. Choose wisely what we leave to them.

Amy Clody Bronte

BALANCED JOURNALISM Hello James - Buying into the Pearl’s Fan Mail Pearl Bullivant controversy, PEARL'S A WINNER I’m writing as a great fan of Dear James - Di, Dr Soloman, hers, with her articles being Peter and Aldo Santamaria (Let- what I turn to first (and not just ters, The Beast, March 2022); because hers is the first article). what a bunch of sanctimonious I’m definitely on the same page dullards. Keep up the good work, as hers on most topics.

Pearl.

At the same time, your correBen, Married Father of Two spondent ‘Lynda H’ does make Bondi a relevant point. Pearl definitely promotes a point of view that has more of a Labor and Greens PEARLS OF WISDOM slant, and while that works for Dear James - I would like to me - and I certainly think that compliment Pearl Bullivant on her excellent April 2022 edition she should remain as a regular piece, Owning the Mental Health columnist - why not provide Crisis. Sadly, each generation in- your readers with a balanced herits the mistakes of those who approach by finding a reasonable went before them. I love Charles exponent of some views from the Darwin’s photo, this cheeky tike other side of the fence?

In saying that, I’m stressing is way in front! the reasonable component, Paula Seligman definitely not suggesting some Bellevue Hill Trumpian extremist. But there are some benefits to presenting PEARL both sides of a question, to proHow smart, Pearl, regarding mote - at the least - an underchildren in her April edition standing of where each person is Pearls of Wisdom. “We must coming from. take responsibility for the Anne Ring environment in which they are Coogee growing up, not bandage patch the outcomes with programs and Other Local Happenings meaningless catchphrases.”

THANK YOU, SWEET LADY Everyone should read that three times, and think into it ten. Last week, myself and a visitor from overseas were about Susan Macleod to enjoy a film at The Ritz at Clovelly 16 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

midday on Thursday, March 24.

What a wonderful facility that is! I walked with her to show the lovely and quaint shops at The Spot, and so a visit to delight all the senses was The Sweet Spot Patisserie.

While we were both in the shop it started to rain. Looking up before ordering, I saw her outside and dashed out, forgetting my wallet. A very kind lady rescued my pink wallet from the counter and took it to the local Police Station, where I discovered it missing a few hours later and happily retrieved it.

Blessings to the amazing person who saved my life!

Sandy Bondi NIMBY NOISE COMPLAINTS I read with interest the complaint in the last edition from Shelley Peers who has recently moved to the corner of Oxford Street and Syd Einfeld Drive and has issues with the noise from the traffic.

The corner of Syd Einfeld Drive and Oxford Street is one of the busiest in the Eastern Suburbs and a key transport route for people to get to the city. This isn’t a new thing, and it takes a lot of hubris to suggest a major arterial road should be adjusted to suit your lifestyle choice.

I think the onus should be on all to appreciate pro’s and con’s of the area that they are moving into, rather than moving and then complaining. This goes not just for traffic, but bars, pubs, late-night venues, lights on sportsfields, and indeed neighbours. If you don’t like it, don’t move there.

Sam Thomson Coogee ST CATHERINE'S COMMUNITY CONSULTATION COMMITTEE There was tremendous opposition from residents and organisations to St Catherine’s

OPEN DAYS Monday, May 2nd 4.00pm-5.30pm Thursday, May 5th 9.00am-10.00am Thursday, May 19th 9.00am-10.00am Monday, May 23rd 4.00pm-5.30pm Thursday, June 2nd 9.00am-10.00am hcpswoollahra.catholic.edu.au facebook.com/holycrosswoollahra

plans for a 480-seat theatre and a 2-pool, 250-spectator seating aquatic centre. This opposition was primarily because of the inadequate lack of parking for such a development - only 19 more car spaces were to be added on site.

This opposition lead to the Independent Planning Commission hearing submissions and finally approving the DA - with strict conditions.

One of these conditions was for the formation of a Community Consultation Committee whereby a committee of committed residents would meet with the school regularly, check that DA conditions were being adhered to and be kept fully abreast of what was happening and when. So, imagine the CCC’s surprise to read on Twitter that this centre had been officially opened days ago - and not one member of the CCC was aware of it!

St Catherine’s once again playing lip service to the residents!

Cathy Waverley THANK YOU, NEARBY NEIGHBOURS A shout out to “Ben and Marie of Macpherson Street” for their lovely note and tasty bottle of wine that they left at our front door. It’s great to have neighbours that enjoy our suburb as much as we do. But next time, include your contacts so we can invite you over to share the gift!

Luke Bronte LUNATICS Can someone please talk some sense into those crazy ocean swimmers who risk their lives every time they venture out past the breakers to tempt the man-eaters that lurk beneath the surface? There are so many sharks around at the moment, you’re all batshit crazy!

Suze Queens Park 18 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

THE BONDI BAKER WHO SAVED OUR BARBECUE Dear Beast - Please allow me to tell you the story of the Bondi baker who saved the Bronte Public School barbecue.

When our regular baker got struck down with the flu the night before our school barbecue, it looked like we would have no fresh bread rolls for our famous sausage sandwiches.

What a terrible disaster! What were we to do?

Then, the morning of our barbecue, one of our barbecue helpers happened to be getting his morning coffee at Tin Pin Bakery on Bondi Road, and he asked the nice lady serving him, “You wouldn’t by any chance be able to bake us 350 fresh bread rolls would you? By 4 o’clock this afternoon?”

Gil the famous baker said, “No, no, no, I’ve been baking since 3am and... how many?

By when? 350! By 4pm! No, no, no... okay, okay... I’ll do my best.”

Thankfully, Gil the famous baker certainly did do his best, and the rolls were the best and freshest we’d ever had! The Bronte Public School barbecue was saved!

So, next time you’re around Bondi Road and have a craving for the best and freshest breads and pastries in the world, please pop in and see Gil the famous baker and the nice lady and buy yourself a treat. Because that’s the best way there is to say, “Thanks for saving our barbecue!”

Jack Bronte

never see it again. So imagine my surprise when reading the letters to the editor in last month’s edition and I read the letter from Corinne asking if anyone knew who might own the wedding ring that her friends had found so many years ago.

My wife and family were blown away when we realised that was my ring and were very thankful to Corinne for returning it all these years later.

Thanks again Corinne and The Beast.

Craig Clovelly Local Poetry 1,000 GOALS Lance Franklin shone at the SCG when he kicked his 1000th goal, Thousands of fans ran onto the field, inspired by his leading role.

The footy was punted right over the fence, the marker held on to the ball, ‘Twas finally returned, and in his defence, he definitely made the right call.

The presentation got underway, the two men had a good laugh, A happy ending to a memorable day for the game played in quarters (not halves).

Buddy, you did us Swannies proud, we’re very grateful to you, At just shy of two metres, with vice-like hands, you’d make a great netballer too.

Graeme Bogan Bondi Junction

SENTRIES I have often wondered about those guardians of the Pearly Gates THE MISSING RING I’ve seen pictures of shining Hi James - I just wanted to folseraphims and dark witches low up and say a big thank you weaving fates. to Corinne and The Beast for the Certainly not rosy cheeked return of my wedding ring. cherubs from some Renaissance About seven years ago now dreamer, I lost the ring down at Cloey more likely celestial pugilists, Beach and thought I would valets to the merciful Redeemer.

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They are way out along the spectrum, beyond human sexuality, exponentially menacing and graceful, partly thug and part deity.

They take on all comers, written onto the Divine Comedy’s lists, and weigh and winnow every soul - using wisdom with iron fists.

They’ve heard the rich and entitled bang loudly on the door, while leaving a trail of breadcrumbs to be distributed to the poor.

Some arrive reconstituted from sandalwood’s holy smoke, some fresh or freeze dried - from vaults, pyramids and coffins made of oak.

Other high level donors, who have recently risen, from caskets of gold, are under the delusion the Kingdom could be bought and sold.

Then there’s the middle classes, those who have only lightly

20 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

sinned, and with a death-bed repentance are asking, ‘Can we please come in?’

I have gone barefoot to the temples, crept between those giant sentries, swords drawn and scowling, seen all kind of human kind, over centuries.

A mistake to think they’re like nighttime bouncers, at some exclusive club, that you can skip the queue with your connections and a $100 sub.

Because the entry criteria are quite different, here on the other side, not looks, family, money, lawyers, your pride, or your ride.

What’s essential is a pure heart, and a light karmic load, and if that is too tight a fit, well, there’s another place, just down the road.

Murray Cox North Bondi ¢

The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editor james@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au Rates and Specs thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 60,000 copies are delivered every month; 58,000 are placed in mailboxes and 2,000 in local shops.

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Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and suburb.

OPEN DAYS Friday 6 May 2022 Friday 24 June 2022 Friday 5 August 2022 9am–10am mcauley.catholic.edu.au

Forever Johnno Raffle and Auction Back to Full Strength in 2022 Words Nicola Smith

Weathered heads.

Whippet and Luke Fired Up for English Channel Crossing Words Nicola Smith Photo Gina Clark After a first attempt at swimming the English Channel in 2020, Clovelly local Luke Stewart will attempt the swim again, this time alongside Bronte local and Waverley lifeguard Ryan ‘Whippet’ Clark.

Quinn Darragh, Luke’s former swimming partner, will be supporting the pair, after completing his crossing with the season’s fastest time.

Mr Stewart told The Beast that he was determined to keep working towards the crossing.

“Last time was such an incredible experience around mateship, resilience and community coming together to support the Running for Premature Babies Foundation, through what was otherwise a challenging time for many with COVID… but I did have the feeling that I’d let people down, and I just want to keep going until I finish it,” he said.

Luke will be swimming with his great mate Whippet, who is making his first attempt at crossing the channel.

“It’s the Everest of swimming.

I’ve done a lot of ocean swims over the years, and when Luke and Quinn went over in 2020 it 22 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

was a lightbulb moment for me, that if you want to do something you’ve just got to go out and do it,” Whippet told The Beast.

The pair are taking on the challenge to raise funds for Ocean Heroes, a charity that aims to improve the wellbeing of people living with autism and their families through surfing.

The group currently runs surfing experiences exclusively in Western Australia, and Luke and Whippet hope to raise enough funds to set up a Sydney chapter of Ocean Heroes.

“We live in a special community, and its spirit and commitment to having a positive influence will mean Ocean Heroes will have real impact,” Luke reflected.

The pair will attempt the channel crossing in August and also recently completed a 24hour swim at Bondi Icebergs as part of their training.

“We’ve got a lot of hard work to do between now and August.

We’ve done the big kilometres but now it’s the cold we’ve got to face,” Whippet said.

To get behind Whippet and Luke, please visit ryanclark.life and lukeswim.com.

The annual Forever Johnno Raffle and Auction will return to the Sports Bar at the Coogee Bay Hotel from 7pm on May 27, 2022 after a challenging couple of years for the local charity.

Organised by Mal Ward in memory of his son, John Anders Ward, the event has now been raising vital funds for the Clancy Ward at Westmead Children’s Hospital for 22 years. The Clancy Ward, where John received the majority of his treatment, cares for children with liver and kidney problems.

John was only 20 months old when he had his first liver transplant after being diagnosed with Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency, a genetic liver condition. He had a second transplant when he was eight, which sadly wasn’t successful, and he passed away on August 29, 2008.

Mr Ward started fundraising soon after John’s first diagnosis. Over $250,000 has been raised so far, supplying extra beds that allow parents to sleep next to their children in the ward, an electrocardiography (ECG) machine, portable TVs, Xboxes and cupboards full of games and books.

To donate to Forever Johnno, please call Mal on 0414 293 396

Sunday 15 May 11am–4pm Oxford St Mall

Issue 208 May 2022 The Beast 23

Controversial Matraville Waste Incinerator Plan Set to Be Scrapped Words Tony Maguire

Funny buggers these two.

Yeah The Girls!

Bronte Duo Take TikTok by Storm Words Nicola Smith Photo Ethan Eshuys Bronte girls Bayley Norris and Charlie Rule are taking TikTok by storm with an edgy account satirising Eastern Suburbs life, especially the young blokes that live here.

The pair behind TikTok’s @bayleyandcharlie account met in year seven and bonded over their love of surfing, developing their mateship and unique brand of humour over the next eight years.

Their first video posted on TikTok last August quickly gained over 100,000 likes and they now have over 90,000 followers and 2.6 million likes.

“We didn’t really mean to start it,” Bayley told The Beast.

“We were just at the beach one day being silly, acting like boys and we thought, ‘Oh yeah, we should post this.’”

Their humour is a mix of self-deprecation and satirising the local boys from the beach.

“We get a lot of inspiration from the boys down at Bronte,” Charlie told The Beast. “One of our TikToks was just a rip-off of a conversation with a guy down at the beach. We posted it, and 24 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

the next day and he was like, ‘Were you talking about me?’”

This formula for success flows naturally from their friendship, rather than being calculated or rigid.

“We’ve been called anti-influencers; we just want to post relatable stuff, humour... people see things we’re doing and are like, ‘Oh, we did that last weekend,’ and will tag a friend or share it,” Charlie said.

Their popularity also comes down to how refreshing it is to see girls owning their sense of humour.

“The boys don’t expect girls to be that funny,” Charlie told The Beast. “Guys will come up to us and be like, ‘Oh, you guys are actually funny,’ and we’re like, ‘Yeah, that’s the point!’”

After less than a year in the business, the duo has no plans of slowing down as they hope to partner with businesses, release merch and even start a podcast.

“It’s crazy to get to do it with my best friend. This is just our friendship and our humour, and it’s so cool that people love it,” Bayley said.

The dark cloud of the proposed Matraville rubbish incinerator seems to be receding, with the NSW Environment Protection Authority’s (EPA) draft Energy from Waste regulations appearing to rule out a project at that site.

In theory, the idea of burning waste to generate energy - in this case at the Opal paper plant on the border of Matraville and Port Botany - seems like a good idea. But the local community has protested against the toxic plume that would be unleashed over residential areas, and this opposition may have prompted the EPA to provide a safety net against the plan. Its draft regulations preclude industries from burning waste to generate power if they are already using more environmentally friendly sources, like the natural gas used at Opal.

While the shadow over Matraville and neighbouring suburbs appears to have lifted, other communities to Sydney’s far west remain under threat.

The energy from waste scheme became NSW Government policy under legislation passed last year.

Helping local business and skilled workers with immigration matters for over 12 years.

Brendan Muldoon Reg. Migration Agent # 0742052 39 Gould Street, Bondi Beach Phone: 0404 552 322 brendan@bondimigration.com.au www.bondimigration.com.au

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Issue 208 May 2022 The Beast 25

Randwick Council Is Making It Easier for Local Businesses to Go Plastic Free Words Nicola Smith

Bondi Beach back in 1937.

Waverley Council Considers New Way of Tackling Overdevelopment Words James Hutton Photo Archie Tect In response to growing community concern regarding overdevelopment in the local area, Waverley Council is investigating the establishment of a community planning advocate to help tackle the problem.

The role of the advocate would be to undertake awareness programs for residents about planning matters and conduct regular consultation about the cumulative impacts of overdevelopment.

Waverley Mayor Paula Masselos is behind the push for an advocate, with councillors last month unanimously adopting a mayoral minute to investigate the matter further.

“Overdevelopment is changing the nature of our built environment and destroying much of the heritage values that makes Waverley unique,” Mayor Masselos told The Beast.

“Ongoing and unabated numbers of planning proposals and development applications associated with large high-rise buildings are being submitted to Council and there has been a 26 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

subsequent increase in organised resident groups objecting to these applications.”

The advocate would be independent of the Council’s planning department and results of consultation would be fed back into the Council’s social impact assessment statements for new developments.

As it currently stands, the planning system in NSW is pretty much impossible for the average person to understand, and residents can be left feeling hopeless when another large development pops up in their street.

“We want to demystify the planning process and help people understand the ins and outs of planning, from our Local Environmental Plans and our Development Control Plans to the development application process and voluntary planning agreements,” Mayor Masselos explained.

“We want to do everything possible as a council to ensure that our area grows in a way that is sustainable and healthy.”

Boomerang Alliance, the peak community not-for-profit organisation working on waste minimisation and recycling in Australia (comprising 51 national, state and local allies), has partnered with Randwick Council to provide free consultations and help local businesses reduce their plastic consumption under a new initiative named Plastic Free Randwick.

The organisation, supported by the Federal Government and local councils, has now eliminated over 11 million pieces of plastic from entering the community through their 12 Plastic Free Places programs.

Plastic Free Randwick will focus on six commonly used plastic items - coffee cups, lids, straws, bags, foodware and takeaway containers.

Julia Mickan, Plastic Free Coordinator at Boomerang Alliance, believes the organisation brings valuable insights to businesses trying to reduce plastics.

“There’s a lot of greenwashing out there where things say they’re compostable but they’re just disguised plastic and so businesses end up paying more for something that is still bad for the environment,” she said.

“We have the knowledge to help them save time and money in making the switch.”

For more information, please follow @plasticfreerandwick.

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Gully Days Release New Track, On Fire Words Jack Hobbs

Valerie in one of her epic retro wetsuits.

Blue World Launches Valerie Taylor Ocean Protection Prizes Words James Hutton Photo Ron Taylor Blue World, a local organisation dedicated to catalysing ocean protection and building support for ocean conservation, launched the inaugural Valerie Taylor Ocean Protection Prizes at the Blue Solutions Summit, held at the Maritime Museum in March. The prizes focus on ocean protection and literacy, with a total prize pool of $15,000 including a local prize that must be based in Waverley, Woollahra or Randwick.

Valerie Taylor is a diver, photographer and groundbreaking conservationist, who is dedicated to the protection of ocean and marine life. The annual prizes have been established to honour her achievements throughout the UN Decade of Ocean Science for Sustainable Development.

“I am thrilled to be involved with these prizes - ocean protection and ocean literacy need to be urgently prioritised across Australia,” Mrs Taylor said.

28 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

“I hope some practical initiatives develop from these prizes.”

Bondi artist and organiser Merran Hughes told The Beast that the prizes aim to support ambitious, creative projects and encourage collaboration between conservationists of all persuasions.

“We need the arts, business and science communities to mobilise and support ocean sustainability,” she explained.

“Climate change is destructively accelerating the problems we are seeing on the Sydney coast, including pollution, species loss and overdevelopment.

We’re hoping to see some projects that reach new audiences or have some great outcomes for our coastal waters. Have a think about what you could do for our blue backyard!”

Entries close on June 30, 2022. For more information and to register, please visit www.blueworld.net.au.

Local band Gully Days has continued to take the Sydney music scene by storm. From raucous self-promoted shows at local bowlo’s, to a headline performance at Oxford Art Factory that sold out in under an hour, the band has really been on a roll.

The boys are now stoked to announce their first single release for 2022, On Fire, a super catchy tune that will get you so fired up you’ll want to down six schooners and jump off Superman Hill. Nude.

The new release’s accompanying music video shows the boys squeezing into a condiment-filled, busted up Pajero and heading deep into the bush, where they set up their gear and belt out the epic tune.

Charismatic frontman Ethan Eshuys told The Beast that the band is preparing to set off on its East Coat Tour in support of the new single.

“We’re playing the Vic On The Park on Friday, April 22, and Ryan’s Hotel, Thirroul, on Saturday, April 23. We’re also heading to Newcastle to belt out a set at the Cambridge Hotel on Saturday, May 14.”

For more information, follow @gullydays on Instagram.

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Issue 208 May 2022 The Beast 29

has been terminated. His arrest is the second recent crime scandal to hit the school - last year its financial controller, Gus Nosti, received a nine year jail sentence for stealing $7 million from school funds.

In the news a bit.

Alleged Crimes of the East Words Gary Larson Teacher Accused Over Child Abuse Material A teacher at Moriah College in Queens Park has been charged with possessing and sharing child abuse material.

Cody Reynolds, 36, was arrested by Australian Federal Police at his home in Kensington.

The AFP said child abuse material was found on two mobile phones and a laptop. Reynolds had appeared on their radar after they arrested another man on the North Shore. In an exchange with the other man, Reynolds is alleged to have expressed a preference for 11-year-olds.

After a night in a cell at Sydney Police Centre, Reynolds appeared in court via video link.

Central Local Court was told his devices contained a large number of images and videos featuring pre-pubescent children.

Some were of infant age.

He was granted bail under strict conditions, including surrendering his passport, having no contact with anyone under 18 and residing at a different address - the court heard his home is close to a primary school.

Reynolds’ employment at Moriah College, where he worked for a year as Head of English,

30 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

Influencer Makes a Big Impact Social media influencer ‘Torpedo Trish’ lived up to her name when the Jeep she was driving became a missile on wheels, slamming into a succession of parked cars in Maroubra.

The Jeep ended up on its side and ‘Torpedo Trish’ - real name Patricia Hadjia - ended up in court. The 28-year-old pleaded guilty to high-range drink driving - she’d had a blood alcohol reading of .18, almost four times the legal limit.

Waverley Court heard she had attended a wedding party where she consumed five cocktails. The barman had been heavy-handed in the amount of alcohol he dispensed. Despite being well-sozzled, the influencer made the bad decision to drive home.

She lost control of the Jeep Grand Cherokee on Duncan Street. First she slammed into the back of a parked Toyota, then a Subaru, and finally a Kia. The influencer, who has 39,900 Instagram followers, was sentenced to a three year community corrections order and 400 hours of community service. Meanwhile, she is paying a separate penalty in the form of compensation for the cars she wrecked - the court heard she has forked out more than $38,000 to the owners.

Student Nurse Launches Attack Outside Pub Gabriella Glazer is a nursing student who attended an exclusive Eastern Suburbs school. One night, outside the Hotel Bondi, the 22-year-old flew into a violent rage which seemed at odds with her upbringing and the ethics of her medical vocation. She launched an attack on another young woman which involved

face-scratching, hair-pulling and other modes of assault.

It started, Waverley Court was told, inside the pub when Glazer and her friends engaged in a verbal stoush with another group.

They went outside to settle their differences.

Out in the street, Glazer set upon her victim, pushing her so she fell onto her back, then leaping on top of her and pinning her down. According to a police statement of facts, she scratched the other woman’s face with her fingernails and pulled her hair.

After the two women were separated, one of the victim’s friends hailed an Uber. The traumatised victim was getting into the car when Glazer decided more punishment was called for.

She grabbed hold of the car door and slammed it repeatedly on her victim’s leg, causing bruising and swelling.

Waverley Court heard that Glazer had attended Reddam House School in Bondi and was a Bachelor of Nursing student at the University of Notre Dame.

She will now be seeing a shrink after her lawyer successfully applied for a Section 14 application. This meant that the assault charge against her was dismissed on the condition she undergoes mental health treatment.

Thefts From Cars in Kingsford and Kenso Thefts from parked cars are on the rise in the Kingsford/Kensington area. “We have seen an increase in wallets, sunglasses and cash being stolen from vehicles,” Eastern Beaches Police warned in a Facebook posting.

In all too many instances, valuables were left in plain view, acting as an invitation for thieves. Police urge people to lock their cars and not leave valuables inside. They warn about the dangers of identity theft and the challenges of restoring your credit rating after ID theft occurs. The solution is easy, police say, “Take those valuables with you!”

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Issue 208 May 2022 The Beast 31

Subject Catching Waves Location Maroubra Photographer Ed Hardy

Subject Drinks Location Coogee Photographer Nicholas Searle

Subject Wetland Returns Location Randwick Environment Park Photographer Richard Ng

Subject Mirror, Mirror Location Coogee Photographer Olivia McDonald

Subject Fiddler Ray Location Bondi Photographer Merran Hughes @blue_world_bondi

The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!

DAVE

SHARMAMP LIBERAL FOR WENTWORTH

EXPERIENCED. DELIVERING.

Team Sharma volunteering at not-forprofit organisation Thread Together.

Treasurer Josh Frydenberg and I visiting Café Perons in Double Bay.

Marching in the Mardi Gras 2022 parade with Senator Andrew Bragg.

Chatting with Tamarama Surf Life Saver, Michelle, at the Celebration of Women in Surf Life Saving Event.

Driving one of Janus' new cutting-edge electric heavy vehicles.

Touring Cadrey's Carpets, a small and family owned business in Edgecliff.

Discussing national security with two locals at the Bondi Markets.

Discussing the democratic process with young members of our Wentworth community.

Authorised by D.Sharma, Liberal, Suite 302, Level 3, 179-191 New South Head Road, Edgecliff NSW 2027.

Launching my re-election Campaign with some young local supporters.

Enjoying President's Day at Eastern Suburbs Cricket Club.

Discussing the Women's Budget Statement with Rachael Natioli, Founder of the Lokahi Foundation.

Catching up with eastern suburbs local, Chanel Contos, CEO and Founder of Teach Us Consent.

Celebrating the festival of Purim at the Bondi Mizrachi Synagogue family Purim Party.

Celebrating with the graduates of the UNSW's 'Pathway to Politics Program for Women'.

On air with Eastside FM.

Joining the Bondi Beach Babes and the Bondi Chamber to celebrate International Women's Day 2022.

Authorised by D.Sharma, Liberal, Suite 302, Level 3, 179-191 New South Head Road, Edgecliff NSW 2027.

Russia’s unprovoked invasion of Ukraine, and horrifying reports of war crimes being committed by Russian forces, has confronted us with scenes of horror we thought had been left behind in the mid twentieth century.

The conflict, and Russia’s brazen challenge to international law, is the first major challenge to the international rules-based order since the end of the Cold War. Russia is seeking to tear up the rule-book, and re-institute a world where ‘might is right’. It is vital we do not allow this to happen, including because of what it would mean in our own region.

And the pandemic isn’t over just because there is war in Europe.

We’re living in chaotic and uncertain times. And that is why the federal election in May will be so important.

The reality is our nation’s economy and security are highly dependent on what happens globally. It affects our jobs, our businesses, our health and our lifestyle here in Wentworth.

Given this, we need a strong and stable government, with experienced people to safeguard Australia’s interests.

We are living through the birth of a new global era. The post-Cold War era, a period of unrivalled peace and prosperity, is over.

With such global turmoil and uncertainty, Australia cannot risk the chaos and quagmire of a hung parliament propped up by independents. We cannot afford to allow single-issue candidates, lacking experience, to make decisions about how to keep Australians safe in this dangerous environment.

I’ve spent a career keeping Australians safe, fostering trade, building democracy, and strengthening national security.

I helped to negotiate a peace agreement to end a ten-year civil war in Bougainville.

My work in the Australian Embassy in Washington DC – along with that of countless colleagues – strengthened this most important relationship, which is helping us secure the technology to build nuclear-powered submarines and hypersonic missiles.

I served as Australia’s Ambassador to Israel in 2013, working to safeguard Australians and advance peace in a chaotic region.

Our nation will only confront more difficult decisions in the months and years ahead about how to safeguard our country in a more dangerous world. We need adults in the room making these decisions.

As a member of the Government, I have a seat at the table where decisions are made, and a voice in the room where it happens. This is what you will never get from an independent candidate.

I’ve devoted my entire career to public service, because I believe deeply in our country and the people of Australia.

And every day I seek to make our country, and our community, stronger, fairer and more resilient.

Authorised by D.Sharma, Liberal, Suite 302, Level 3, 179-191 New South Head Road, Edgecliff NSW 2027.

Subject All Swell Location Coogee Photographer Ben Lee

Subject New Path, Old Tram Line Location Coogee Photographer Claudia Lovett

Subject Entrepreneurs Location Coogee Photographer Ben Selinger

Subject Ivor Rowe Sentries Location Coogee Photographer Donna McCulloch

Subject Ominous Location Clovelly Photographer Sigrid @lulu.isthatyou

Please send them to photos@thebeast.com.au

embroidery, but I didn’t really paint much until after university.

My style has changed dramatically since moving to Australia as the scenery provides a great deal of inspiration.

Did you study art? I didn’t study art after school. It just goes to show that training and education can’t make up for the passion and love people have for what may begin as a mere hobby.

I’m a big believer that everyone should have a passion for something, no matter what it is.

Jill’s happy place.

Local Artist...

Jill Hamilton from Bondi Beach Interview James Hutton Photo John Hamilton Jill Hamilton is the talent behind this month’s moody cover painting of Ben Buckler. She shares her local favourites with The Beast...

How long have you lived here?

Just over ten years. I have lived all around Bondi, until I found my spot on Hall Street, right in the thick of things.

What's your favourite beach?

I’m a big fan of the little beaches where there is less chance of me being washing-machined by the waves. Camp Cove is my favourite.

What's your favourite eatery? I love the cheap and cheerful places like Bangkok Bites, or an Asian salad from Banana Blossom, eaten overlooking the beach.

Where do you like to have a drink? I used to spend a lot of time at The Crossing, or having a dance at Bar 34, although a sunny Saturday afternoon sitting outside Beach Road or Bad Mama is also high on my agenda.

Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? It’s the small town feels. Most of my friends live

38 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

within five-minute’s walking distance, so it’s easy to catch up over a beer on the fly.

How would you describe your art? I create large-scale abstract paintings that evoke emotional connection and awe for the dramatic conditions and scenery that we live amongst - large format abstract sea and landscapes.

Where can people see your work? You can visit my website, www.myrrhmarketing.com.au/art, or @jmurrayhamilton_art.

Who are your artistic inspirations?

I’m in awe of an artist called Tracie Chen who combines geometric lines with clouds and skies.

Do you have any exhibitions coming up? I don’t, I’m just keeping busy with some commissions. I tend to prefer the direct sale so I can get a good brief and create artwork that makes people happy to wake up to.

When did you discover you had a gift for your craft? I’ve always loved drawing, and even turned my hand to modern machine

Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists? The creative arts are notoriously difficult to make a living at, but all you need is a few people who believe in you to make it happen. I still work part-time to keep the bills paid, but I try not to let it distract me from painting and drawing as that is what makes me the happiest.

What do you get up to on the weekends? Weekends are all about sunshine, friends and mooching about Bondi. I have a friend who has taken up painting who joins me on the weekends.

What do you do for work? I run @myrrh.marketing, a freelance business offering brand identity and graphic design. I also have a business called Proud Baby (@proudbabymuslins), designing and making baby swaddle wraps that depict different countries.

Do you have a favourite quote?

My gran always used to say, “What’s for you won’t go past you.” There have been some tough times and it reminds me to be patient and eventually things will fall into place.

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Try your hand at a little art. It doesn’t matter how it turns out, just enjoy the cathartic and therapeutic process. And if it’s rubbish, let it dry and start again. You don’t have to be a great artist or an expert to enjoy being creative.

Beyond comprehension.

The Unreliable Guide to...

The Dark Side Words Nat Shepherd Photo Robert Louis Stephenson The Unreliable Guide has had a strange month and it’s filled my head with questions. As you may have heard, a teacher working at a local private high school was recently arrested for having images of child sexual abuse on their phone and laptop. So far so awful, but according to my sources at the school, this teacher was a really good teacher, mentor and department head who has an unblemished record of 15 years in the job. But... he was, if the allegations are true, also a monster who got off on looking at exploitative images of 11-year-old boys. I’m having a hard time processing these two facts and I finally realised why; I expect people to be all good or all bad. There are no grey areas in my categorisation, and this is clearly stupid.

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde Robert Louis Stephenson penned this famous novel way back in 1886 and it’s been freaking people out ever since.

They loved a Gothic tale back then - Bram Stoker wrote Dracula in 1897 - but The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde was so popular we still describe people as having a ‘Jekyll and 40 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

Hyde personality’ - outwardly good but sometimes shockingly evil inside.

Unlike Stoker’s Dracula (now tamed by Buffy and her kind), Stephenson is not showing us an otherworldly beastie he’s showing us the duality of human nature. The core of the novel deals with the inner struggle we all face between doing the right or wrong thing.

For most of us, the wrong thing is just eating the last chocolate biscuit even though we know our partner would really love it later with their afternoon tea.

But for some people, the wrong thing is very wrong indeed and fighting that demon is beyond them. This is not to say I excuse paedophiles, far from it. Their narcissistic, self-obsessed abuse of the innocence of childhood enrages me to the point of violence. A dark side of me perhaps? What Stephenson’s novel reminds us is that outward respectability operates as a very convenient mask for inner demons. Beware.

What’s the Solution?

I always thought paedophiles were responding to something bad in their own childhoods, but Dr James Cantor, of the

Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, Canada, claims, “Paedophilia is a sexual orientation… something that we are essentially born with, does not appear to change over time and it’s as core to our being as any other sexual orientation is.” Yet this terminal diagnosis is hotly contested by Dr Paul Fedoroff, director of the Sexual Behaviours Clinic at the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre.

He asserts that he can “cure” paedophiles, by using anti-androgen drugs that temporarily remove their sex drive, allowing the development of “healthy lifestyles” so that when the sex drive returns “their preference changes to adult.”

Whatever the facts of the matter are, in 2017 there were 7,397 children aged 0-14 years who were recorded by police as being victims of sexual assault, and research suggests that only about one in eight abused children report it. And it’s worse in less economically advantaged countries. UNICEF research reveals one in twenty Cambodian children have been sexually assaulted. Australian aid-worker Geoffrey William Moyle admitted to filming and then publishing online videos of him sexually abusing children.

After a test court case last year, he agreed to pay one of his Cambodian victims a significant amount of cash as recompense.

Hopefully this will set a trend and as more victims speak up this vile sex tourism will lose its appeal.

Finally, The Unreliable Guide has nothing funny to say this month. It’s been a weird one, and while I don’t want to focus on the dark side for too long, I think it’s important that we don’t ignore this ugly side of human nature. We need to face this, talk about it and deal with it.

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

Randwick News Randwick Mayor Dylan Parker At Council we have been working hard to put together our draft Operational Plan and Budget for the next financial year and our draft Delivery Program for the next four years.

I am proud to say we’ve budgeted for a significant capital works program with $66 million to provide upgrades and improvements across Randwick City.

To give you just a snapshot of this program, this financial year we’re: • Finishing the Heffron Centre, our newest community sporting facility at Maroubra’s Heffron Park accommodating sports such as netball, basketball, badminton, volleyball and indoor futsal as well as being the new home to the Rabbitohs; • Completing the Meeks Street Plaza in Kingsford; • Improving the playgrounds at Alison Park in Randwick and Woomera Park in Little Bay; • Upgrading 6.5km of road and 3km of footpaths; • Installing new shade structures and seating at Heffron Netball courts allowing all-weather training as well as the potential for markets and live music; • Rolling out five new electric vehicle parking stations; and • Planting 5000 native trees and plants to improve our bushland.

Our big plans for our community are on display now for you to view and provide your feedback. You can find them at our libraries or online at yoursay.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

What’s On SUNDAY 1 MAY RUN SWIM COOGEE 7.30am – noon Coogee Beach

SATURDAY 14 MAY CHEMICAL CLEAN OUT

9am – 3.30pm Clovelly Beach Car Park

THURSDAY 19 MAY SYDNEY WRITER’S FESTIVAL – BRENDAN COWELL 6.30 – 8pm Margaret Martin Library Royal Randwick Shopping Centre, 73 Belmore Rd, Randwick

SUNDAY 22 MAY SYDNEY WRITER’S FESTIVAL – ASTRID SHOLTE 4.30 – 5.30pm Margaret Martin Library Royal Randwick Shopping Centre, 73 Belmore Rd, Randwick

FRIDAY 27 MAY KOOJAY CORROBOREE 11am Coogee Beach

Councillor Dylan Parker Mayor of Randwick

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

was pointed out that Easts rugby fans maintain a healthy hatred of the Galloping Greens, before an eager volunteer suggested red and green to reflect the party’s policy stance and to appeal to Rabbitohs fans.

Links to Anthony Albanese were then discussed, before a junior staffer suggested using black to further accentuate Albo’s weight loss. Ultimately, they will likely settle on grey to reflect the party’s convictions.

It's going to be a very interesting election.

Your Exclusive Guide to the Candidates for Wentworth Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblakewriter.org Photo Elle Lection The joy and excitement of a federal election is upon us, and our letterboxes will soon overflow with messages and promises from candidates fighting to represent the good people of the Eastern Suburbs in the steamcleaned halls of power.

The Beast used its exclusive access to sources within each campaign to put together this guide on what to look forward to until decision day.

Dave Sharma - Liberal Turrramurra’s excellent ring-in remains our tremendous eastern representative, using a teal emulating resumé to boast of his truly enviable results in the HSC and distance himself from his own party. Was the dependent independent distancing himself from the Coalition’s targeted electoral rorting, or their toxic economic recovery which guarantees total environmental ruin? Was ‘our Dave’ expunging from our minds Australia’s terrible extinction rates and Gladys’ treeless earth rampage, or his party’s efforts to tirelessly 42 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

erase revolting incidents occurring in the country’s erstwhile institutions? Let’s not be too harsh on him though. Let’s cast our minds back to simpler times when the tragic romantic showed his tender, enduring respect for women by becoming a florist for a day.

Allegra Spender - Independent Spender’s pamphlets will also lie on the blue spectrum and will cleverly differentiate her from other independents.

Astute residents will notice her tendency to use an upper case L throughout the Literature in recognition of the tradition of Wentworth. Before you accuse ALLegra of poor grammar though, remember that it also serves to differentiate her from our Dave.

Tim Murray - Labor Murray’s pamphlet is still a blank piece of paper. He had initially opted for Labor red but feared accusations of communism from News Corp.

Green was suggested until it

Dominic Wy Kanak - The Greens The Greens are different. They will forego the traditional paper pamphlets, in order to avoid felling the remaining trees that Gladys didn’t prune before saying YES! They can’t afford a Tesla, so they will instead deliver messages with solar-powered red-winged parrots. Parrots that don’t get eaten by pet cats will deliver a policy outline painstakingly inscribed on the seaweed that washed up on our beaches during the recent storms. Residents are encouraged to reuse the seaweed.

Sushi anyone?

Natalie Dumer United Australia Party Dumer also did away with pamphlets. Instead, Clive Palmer’s loyal servant will erect huge yellow billboards on everyone’s lawn with promises as big as the billboards themselves; promises she’ll never have to keep. The billboards will make historically-inaccurate claims that previous prime ministers belonged to the current UAP, and will launch attacks on the mainstream parties that are far more vitriolic than any satirical article. She will also vow to Save Australia… from someone or something.

It’s going to be a close one, so enjoy the ride, and the democracy sausage!

E A S T S

R U G B Y

2 0 2 2

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July 9th v EASTWOOD COUNTRY DAY

July 23rd v GORDON INDIGENOUS ROUND

July 30th v HUNTER WILDFIRES JUNIOR'S DAY

Buy memberships and tickets now www.eastsrugby.com.au

Don't get caught with your pants down.

Beware the Share Issuance Parade Words Rob Shears Photo Mohnish Pabrai In recent times we have witnessed a boom in retail investors punting on the market. The last few months have shown how difficult investing can be.

“You only know who has been swimming naked when the tide goes out,” Warren Buffett once famously mused.

Possibly the most misunderstood part of investing is the issuance of shares which can waste away your investment.

While there are some companies that have successfully issued shares to grow and pay their employees, it has become more common place for companies to abuse the easy capital markets of the last few years.

There are companies that are consistently growing share count faster than revenues. If this persists, then these companies are declining businesses over the long-term. It is simply not enough to find a hyper44 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

growth business and think that you will profit from it over time if it is growing shares at an unsustainable rate.

With the war for talent heating up, offering colossal packages with higher equity components has become more common place. The business might be showing high free cashflow, however it is giving this away to the employees as shares instead of salary.

Some of the worst offenders are the “gonna” mining stocks, companies that supposedly found a high-grade resource ten years ago but are yet to start digging. If you do your own digging, you will realise that there are plenty of these. The directors are paid handsomely for sitting on this resource and the consistent issuance of shares to afford this extreme patience can be obscene. Time is not your friend in these businesses.

If you follow the world’s best investors such as Warren Buffett, Terry Smith or Chuck Akre, you will note that they generally avoid stocks which resort to high share issuance over time. In fact, their portfolios are concentrated with the exact opposite, companies that are reducing their share count.

The aptly nicknamed “uber cannibals” are an excellent place to allocate capital.

Caveat emptor.

Rob Shears is an Authorised Representative of Valor Financial Group (AFSL 405452). This advice is general and does not take into account your objectives, financial situation or needs.

You should consider whether the advice is suitable for you and your personal circumstances.

IT I S FAR B E T TE R TO I NVE ST I N A WO N D E R F U L CO M PAN Y AT A FAI R P R I CE , THAN A FAI R CO M PAN Y AT A WO N D E R F U L P R I CE WARREN BUFFETT

VALOR PRIVATE WEALTH — DIRECT GLOBAL INVESTING IN THE WORLD’S BEST COMPANIES

A specialist wealth planner like no other Wealth Creation | Direct Investments | Self-Managed Super Funds Wealth Protection | Income Protection | Life Insurance | Estate Planning valorprivatewealth.com.au (02) 8013 5205

Valor Private Wealth Pty Limited is a Corporate Authorised Representative (Corporate Authorised Representative No. 409498) of Valor Financial Group Pty Limited, AFSL No. 405452, ABN 81150590453.

Change your perception.

Do You See What I See? Words Jeremy Ireland Photo Christopher Reeve Recently, I found a set of reading glasses at Bondi Icebergs. They had a bit of a Clark Kent vibe so I couldn’t resist trying them on. They were definitely prescription, way stronger than the generic plus-ones I’m used to. In fact, they were so strong they had a dizzying effect, making my head spin.

With my hopes of becoming a superhero dashed, I handed them in on my way out.

It did get me thinking though, the notion that a simple piece of glass placed in front of my eyes could change my perception and alter how I saw the physical world. These lenses, despite being no good for me, would’ve been specifically made for the person who owned them, helping them interpret what they see in a way that is right for them.

In a metaphorical sense, this idea of the lens is a common way that therapists explain the relationship between the world and the way we feel about it, or in other words, the relationship between what we see, our thoughts and our mood. The essence of it is that when we look at the world through our own personal lens, we are often presented with a series of positive, negative and neutral events. We then interpret these events with thoughts that run through our mind, often called our ‘internal dialogue’. Our mood or feelings are then created by these thoughts independently of the events themselves.

In simple terms, it’s not the event itself but the way we perceive it that gives us a change in mood.

For example, if we are feeling sad our thoughts will represent a realistic interpretation of the negative event. So, if we are feeling anxious or depressed our thoughts will be illogical, distorted and often unrealistic because of a particular lens 46 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

we are looking through. The trick is to understand what is happening to us before we can feel it.

This is where schema therapy comes in. We all differ in what makes us anxious, depressed or angry, and this is usually because we tend to have biases in what we focus on, so we will all have different issues that make us differ from one another. These differences are called schemas, and they are the habitual way we see things. If we look at anger, for example, we will often find it is characterised by schemas about insult or a violation of rules. Because all personalities are different, people will differ in the themes that underlie their anger - or any mood for that matter.

Think of the schema as being your personal lens; the particular lens you have will influence how you interpret the event, what you think about it and how you feel about it.

Let’s try another example. Say your friend doesn’t call you on your birthday. This can activate many kinds of schemas depending on your personality, but let’s say it activates one of worthlessness. This schema of not being worthy might then activate the thought ‘nobody likes me’, which might make you feel sad, lonely and upset, which in turn activates the behaviour of shutting yourself away. In effect, the lens is our schema - of which we may have many - and is further shaped by our life experiences. In a nutshell, schemas affect how we interpret events, and the catch is that our schema-driven behaviour further confirms the schema.

One of the first questions I ask when clients come to see me is, “Look out the window, what do you see?” Despite the view always being roughly the same, everyone will give me a different answer because everyone’s lens or schema is unique to them, thus dictating how they interpret what they see. If it’s raining when they look outside, one person might say, “I hate the rain, I’m going to get wet walking home,” but another may say, “Isn’t it great, the lawn needs it!” Two different answers due to two different schemas.

You might be asking why it matters what your schemas are? Well, if they are impacting you in a negative way then learning what they are and how they shape you is useful if you are trying to account for some of the difficulties that you may have. The concept is a tricky one, but an easy way to get the point across is to literally try on someone else’s glasses - or shoes for that matter.

In my next column I will pick up on how therapy can help when it comes to schemas.

Have you got a question? Please contact Jeremy at bondicounsellingservices.com.

Bondi Counselling Services

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Issue 208 May 2022 The Beast 47

Now you can swim to church.

The Great Wet Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Liz Moore It is time to contemplate Dorothea McKellar’s much recited and loved line, “I love a sunburnt country, a land of sweeping plains, of rugged mountain ranges, of droughts and flooding rains.” Do we really? Or would we prefer a rewrite of at least the last five words? After experiencing Sydney’s wettest start to a year on record, the rain has just kept coming and we have already received our annual average rainfall, nine months early!

According to the Bureau of Meteorology, climate change continues to influence the Australian and global climate. Australia’s climate has warmed by around 1.47°C for the 1910-2020 period. In recent decades there has been a trend towards a greater proportion of rainfall from high intensity, short duration rainfall events. It is predicted that the 2021-22 La Niña event will continue through Autumn.

Everyone has been impacted by our seemingly endless months of rain, relieved only by intermittent periods of sunshine, but we have certainly not born the brunt of it here in the east.

Our hearts, and hopefully our donations, go out to those far worse impacted than us. We can only imagine the sadness, fear and loss experienced by 48 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

the thousands of east coast residents who have lost their homes and their livelihoods, and those who have tragically also lost loved ones.

On the NSW North Coast alone, it is estimated that about 4,000 homes have been destroyed and about 3,000 people are living in emergency accommodation in hotels and motels. There are many people who have virtually nothing left of their former lives. A friend and colleague of mine in Lismore has lost every possession. It is heartbreaking to see this level of loss.

Although our difficulties are much less severe here in the east of Sydney, there has nevertheless been a considerable cost resulting from the huge rainfall. Young people in particular are still facing real barriers to resuming social activities so important to their development. The mental and physical well-being of most people has been impacted. For older people and those with disabilities it has been difficult to get about, the slippery streets and steps are of particular concern.

The scarcity of de-humidifiers and even simple moisture absorbers is a testament to the mould most of us are experiencing in our homes. Our gardens are wrecked, our pets need a wash and some exercise, and those with pools are anxiously backwashing late into the night.

The ongoing rain in the east raises issues surrounding beach water quality as increased volumes of polluted and contaminated stormwater flows into our beaches. This includes sewage overflow contaminating our stormwater. As a general precaution, swimming at Sydney’s ocean beaches should be avoided for up three days after heavy rainfall or for as long as stormwater is present. The most obvious signs of stormwater pollution are water discolouration, as well as debris in the water and on the tide line. The presence of debris and pollenates can cause harm, and it is also one of the factors leading the spot of gastro going through our community at the moment.

Many homes and businesses in our local area have been severely impacted by the extreme weather and by the ongoing occurrences of COVID. My office has been assisting many locals; if you know anyone else in need of support, we are here to help. A huge thank you goes out to all of our emergency service workers and volunteers who have been working around the clock to help those in need, including our local community, during this difficult time. If you are in need of a bit of a moral uplift, I recommend humming Dorothea’s opening words, “I love a sunburnt country.” Perhaps omit the last few words though, just as most of us seem to do when reciting the opening stanza of our national anthem.

HEALTH

Community Town Hall

We would like to hear from you about your experiences relating to health in the Eastern suburbs

Wednesday, May 4th 2022 from 6-7pm

Dr Marjorie O’Neill MP Member for Coogee

Ryan Park MP

Labor’s Shadow Minister for Health, Shadow Minister for Mental Health and Shadow Minister for the Illawarra and South Coast

Please scan the QR code to register

Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP Member for Coogee If you need assistance, please do not hesitate to contact my office and follow my social pages for regular updates.

Phone (02) 9398 1822 Email coogee@parliament.nsw.gov.au Address 15/53-55B Frenchmans Road, Randwick NSW 2031 Facebook MarjorieONeillCoogeeMP Instagram marjorieoneillcoogee Twitter marjorieSONeill Authorised by Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP. Funded using parliamentary entitlements.

A man of the people.

Budget Drives National Renewal After Pandemic Effect Words Dave Sharma, MP for Wentworth Photo Jodie Mathews It’s been a tough two years in many respects, but as the recent Federal Budget shows, under a Liberal government our country and our economy are coming back strongly.

The economy is larger than it was before the pandemic; more people are in work and unemployment is at its lowest level in more than 40 years.

There is more to do to secure Australia’s economic recovery, but the Budget provides a sound and clear pathway ahead.

Steps to relieve cost-of-living pressures will be delivered 50 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

in a temporary, targeted way.

58,000 taxpayers in Wentworth will receive a cost of living tax offset of up to $1,500, while over 6,500 pensioners and concession card holders will receive a cost of living payment. Fuel excise will also be halved for the next six months. This relief means Wentworth families will have more to spend on life’s essentials.

The Budget also lays out a long-term plan to create more jobs, return the Budget to balance, and curb inflationary pressures.

Small businesses will receive a 20 per cent tax deduction boost for expenditure on staff training and the purchase of digital technology, with a ceiling of $100,000 per year. Wage subsidies are available for hiring apprentices, skilled migration will be increased, and more work and holiday visas will be made available to address gaps in the workforce. These important measures will help more than 34,000 small businesses in Wentworth.

Since my election in 2019, I have listened closely to the concerns and priorities of our community and worked to address community needs. It is because of our strong economy that the Budget is able to meet those needs, with record investment directed towards health, aged care, mental health, women’s health, disability support and combating domestic violence. Changes to the paid parental leave offer fathers the opportunity to take time off with the birth of a child, and single parents in Wentworth can now access the full 20 weeks of parental leave.

The Budget also increases defence and security spending to safeguard our nation in an uncertain and dangerous world.

The Australian Defence Force will be expanded, with new capabilities added, including $10 billion for better protection from cyber-attacks.

This year’s Budget delivers the largest improvement to the bottom line in more than 70 years, while investing in key rail, transport and water infrastructure projects, new sovereign manufacturing capabilities, green hydrogen hubs, and growing the skills of our workforce.

At this time of great global uncertainty, now is not the time to change course. This is a time to stick to our plan, for a strong economy and a secure future.

Suite 302, Level 3, 179-191 New South Head Road, Edgecliff NSW 2027

FEDERAL MEMBER FOR WENTWORTH Authorised by D.Sharma, Liberal, Suite 302, Level 3, 179-191 New South Head Road, Edgecliff NSW 2027.

02 9327 3988

dave.sharma.mp@aph.gov.au

davesharma.com.au

DaveSharmaMP

Making positive change happen.

David Shoebridge, My Friend and Inspiration Words Dominic Wy Kanak Photo Jeremy Park David Shoebridge and I share heart politics and mutual respect, especially our work on Aboriginal justice issues. David is now the lead senate candidate for the NSW Greens in the imminent federal election.

I met him back when he was starting out in politics as a Woollahra councillor, and I was a Waverley councillor. I’m now in my sixth term on council and David has just wound up eleven years in NSW Parliament.

David’s ability to make seemingly impossible change happen is inspirational. He works tirelessly to address community concerns, using his forensic legal mind to examine documents that he has extracted from the government. It’s his skill in gaining cross party cooperation from a very diverse group that allows him to make a difference for the people of NSW. NSW Crisis Management Stepped Up In his last days as a State Member of Parliament, David 52 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

convinced both chambers of parliament to amend the NSW Constitution. It was no mean feat to get the changes through with ongoing opposition from the Coalition. The legislation will ensure parliament can meet in full online during emergencies like fire, flood or pandemic lockdown. Thanks to David, NSW is the first parliament in Australia to make sure it can carry on working when the community needs it most.

Pork Barrelling Exposed The door to David’s office is always open, so when he heard that a council had received a $1 million government grant to upgrade a perfectly good oval, David got to work. That conversation set off a chain of events that exposed one of this state's biggest rorts. Probing questions to Gladys Berejiklian’s staff revealed the shredding and deleting of critical documents, and that exposed the extent of pork barrelling in Coalition electorates. $250 million from the “Stronger Communities” fund was used to buy Coalition votes. It was a corrupt use of taxpayers’ money that was desperately needed elsewhere.

Royal Commission Into Child Sexual Abuse Early in David’s term he worked with people who had been abused as children in institutions. Survivors who took court action found there was no one held legally responsible. David and his team joined forces with the Newcastle Herald’s investigative journalist Joanne McCarthy to organise a forum to answer the question, “Do we need a Royal Commission?”

Former Detective Chief Inspector Peter Fox came forward to verify the claims of cover-ups and protection of abusers.

Within months, then Prime Minister Julia Gillard set up a

Royal Commission into abuse within all institutions dedicated to children. The terrible scale of the problem became a watershed moment for survivors and a chance for healing and redress.

Forced Council Amalgamations Randwick, Waverley, Woollahra and other councils were saved from the NSW Liberal-National government’s forced amalgamations thanks to David’s work in parliament. He exposed the false claims of efficiency and led local activism and strategic legal challenges to keep pressure on the government. Cost blowouts and inefficiency in amalgamated super-sized councils have shown how important it is to keep local government truly local.

Aboriginal Justice David and I share a deep passion for Aboriginal justice.

While these issues are not always vote winners, the injustices against First Nations communities cry out for action.

David helped to found Grandmothers Against Removals to end the ongoing stolen generations. His new Family Cultures Bill could prove crucial to help prevent our children losing culture and family in NSW. Against all odds David was successful in reopening the Bowraville triple murder case.

He works tirelessly against the system that imprisons First Nations people and kills them in custody.

This opportunity to elect David into Federal Parliament gives me hope that the recommendations of the Deaths in Custody Royal Commission might finally be implemented.

David will drive vitally needed climate action. I know he will be a brilliant Senator in Federal Parliament.

□

VOTE 1 THE GREENS

Dominic WY Kanak FOR

WENTWORTH

David Shoebridge FOR

THE SENATE

Real action on climate change

Federal ICAC now

Implement a fully costed transition to 100% renewables, backed by science and experts.

Fully resourced, independent body to end the rorts and hold politicians to account.

Restore free education

Housing for all

Public schools, TAFE & university. Make early education accessible for everyone.

Fund public and affordable housing.

Support renters' rights.

Justice for First Nations

Defend and extend Medicare

Truth & Treaty, to right the wrongs and move forward together.

More hospital funds, increase aged care staff ratios, dental/mental into Medicare.

Economic justice and jobs

Care for nature

A manufacturing revival in the clean and green industries of the future.

Protect biodiversity, bushland, public land, local beaches and harbour water quality.

Wentworth.Greens greensforwentworth

wentworth@nsw.greens.org.au

Scan to Donate & Volunteer

Authorised by D Hayden for The Greens NSW, 1/275 Broadway, Glebe NSW 2037

An independent voice in Canberra.

We Need to Act Now Words Allegra Spender, Independent Candidate for Wentworth Imagine Bondi Beach without its famous golden sands or the landmark Icebergs pool jutting out into the water. It just wouldn’t be the place we all know and love. It wouldn’t be the international drawcard for Sydney and one of the many jewels of the electorate of Wentworth.

Unfortunately, we don’t have to try to imagine this uglier, unfamiliar version of Bondi because we all saw it this month as the Pacific Ocean smashed into the beach, swallowed the pools at both ends and ripped holes in the railings and promenade.

It’s an eerie feeling watching the sea swallow an entire beach and spill over the wall. None of us in Wentworth want to see this again.

This was just one more exclamation mark on a season of wild weather and weather events that get ever more severe and ever more frequent, whether it’s floods, bushfires or heatwaves.

The Bondi promenade will be repaired and the beachgoers and tourists will return, and thankfully our community does not have the long clean-up in front of it like the people of Lismore and Northern NSW do.

But the people I speak to in Wentworth don’t want to just forget what they saw. They don’t want to sit by and let their government do nothing to address the cause of these natural disasters that threaten our way of life.

Our community is a vibrant, optimistic place where people want positive solutions, not hollow words about how Tony Abbott’s emissions reduction targets - which are the Morrison Government’s same targets - are enough.

54 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

Action on climate and the environment is the single biggest issue for people in Wentworth at this election.

What did they get in the Morrison Government budget? Reduced spending over the next four years - a period that covers the critical 30 months that world scientists of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change say must see a reduction in emissions to avoid the worst effects of climate change.

Likewise, Scott Morrison’s government provided nothing to transform our petrol and diesel-powered national vehicle fleet into the electric vehicle industry we need.

Canberra is not listening to Wentworth.

I am a businesswoman and a mother, not a career politician, but I could not sit by and watch more wasted years on half-measures when Australia can seize the opportunities of the energy transition to turbocharge our economy and live in a cleaner, more prosperous country.

Cutting emissions by at least 50 per cent by 2030 - the target I will fight for if elected - should not be seen as a revolutionary act. It is the same target the Business Council of Australia advocates for.

Some people ask what an independent can do to effect change? Firstly, much more than someone inside the tent who only ever votes with Barnaby Joyce and Scott Morrison on climate issues. Secondly, independents are already forcing the Morrison Government to places it does not want to go.

A good example is the scrapping of the PEP-11 oil and gas exploration licence that could have led to oil drilling rigs off our beautiful Sydney beaches. Be in no doubt the Morrison Government would not have scrapped the licence without community pressure and the spectre of independents taking seats in Wentworth, North Sydney, Mackellar.

There is so much to do that a Government MP will not tackle, like my proposal for a major review of Australia’s tax system, the establishment of a federal ICAC and an end to the political pork barrelling that the major parties are addicted to.

I also want to be part of the gender rebalance of the institutions of power in this country and make it easier for other women to succeed, while also making sure everyone in Wentworth, a most diverse place, feels safe and included and able to live their lives.

As an independent, I can hold the government to account and will only ever vote for my community, not a party. This election is a chance to improve the climate in Wentworth by voting for real change in Canberra.

WENTWORTH’S INDEPENDENT

Hi, I’m Allegra I’m a business leader and renewable energy advocate. I grew up and went to school right here in Wentworth. And now I’m raising my family in this beautiful place we all call home.

Wentworth is home to many talented people – from artists to doctors, from scientists to business people, from teachers to technology entrepreneurs. Together we have built an amazing community. We share a respect for family. We support our local businesses. We value different cultures and beliefs. And we care deeply about the welfare of others and the future of this planet – not just our own affairs.

I’m standing up as your independent candidate to represent these views and values. I have the energy and drive to be your voice in Canberra and I’m prepared to take action on what’s important to all of us.

I’m particularly concerned to take swift, decisive action on climate change to protect our planet for future generations.

I’ll work with experts and scientists and weigh up all the evidence to make informed decisions. And I’m always interested to hear from local people, clubs and associations, so please reach out to me on issues that are important to you.

It’s time to step above two-party politics. I’m willing and committed to work hard to represent you and get results.

I will listen to the community, consult with experts, and always vote in your best interests.”

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

AllegraSpender.com.au Allegra Spender

We are all paying for inaction.

It’s Time to Get Serious About Climate Change Words Matt Thistlethwaite, MP for Kingsford Smith Photo Barbie Cue Southeast Queensland and northern New South Wales recently experienced another ‘once in a hundred year’ flood. The last one occurred five years ago.

The climate scientists’ predictions are bearing true.

Climate change is increasing the severity of extreme weather and we are all paying for it.

All levels of government bear the cost of damage to infrastructure and the recovery. Communities wear the emotional and physical scars of saving lives and the salvage and clean-up when the waters subside.

Households and businesses bear these costs as well and then must try and replace their homes and valuables or stock. Then they get the double whammy of an increase in their next insurance premium to cov56 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

er the increasing risk of another flood event in the future.

That’s the cost of climate change.

Tony Abbott’s pledge that Australians would not have to pay for action on climate change now looks rather infantile. Scott Morrison’s lump of coal trick didn’t age well.

The problem is that, according to experts, the risk of extreme weather is only going to get worse.

The latest assessment by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) found the weather effects of climate change are more severe than predicted and the impacts were “cascading and compounding” across nature, society and the economy.

The Morrison Government has failed to tackle climate change responsibly and

emissions in Australia are now increasing again.

Australia is not pulling its weight. If we don’t take stronger action our kids will bear the cost. This is not fair on future generations.

Labor is committed to taking stronger action. Our Powering Australia plan will reduce Australia’s emissions by 43 per cent by 2030 - which will become Australia’s target under the Paris Agreement, keeping us on track for net zero by 2050.

The key elements of our policy are: • Upgrading the electricity grid so it can handle more renewable energy.

• Building 85 solar banks across the country to provide cheaper electricity for 25,000 households.

• Install 400 community batteries across the country.

• Remove import tariffs and fringe benefits tax from electric vehicles to make them cheaper to buy.

The Morrison Government has failed to prepare Australia for the effects of climate change. This was evident in the 2019 bushfires and the recent floods. His “I don’t hold a hose mate” attitude means he blames everyone else for the problem and never takes responsibility.

When you see climate change as a political weapon rather than a problem that requires a policy solution you are not prepared for extreme weather and have not invested in mitigation infrastructure.

Labor has already announced that, if elected, we will establish a $200 million a year Disaster Ready Fund to partner with state governments to build local mitigation infrastructure to reduce the risk of damage to households and businesses from extreme weather.

Labor will get serious about stronger action to combat climate change.

Matt Thistlethwaite LABOR FOR KINGSFORD SMITH

Working for our community

Matt and his wife Rachel are raising their family locally.

1 Matt is a local, born and bred

Matt has lived in our area his whole life. He went to school at Champagnat College, attended university in Kensington and is raising his four girls with his wife Rachel in Matraville. Matt has always served our area. He joined Maroubra Surf Life Saving Club at age 13 and served as President of the club for four years. He was also also President of our local PCYC.

2 Matt is working for our community

As our local MP, Matt has delivered upgrades to local community infrastructre, a trade training centre for local students and stopped the development of Malabar Headland.

3 Matt will stand up for our area

The Liberals are hurting our community. Matt will continue to stand up for our area and will: • Fight to protect Medicare and the Liberals’ cuts to health services • Stand up for better local schools and a stronger TAFE • Fight overdevelopment and traffic congestion • Fight against the Eastern Suburbs Incinerator construction • Fight to save Yarra Bay from cruise ships and combat climate change by investing in renewable energy by 2030 Facebook

Email: Matt.Thistlethwaite.MP@aph.gov.au Phone: 9349 6007 Mail: PO Box 895, Maroubra 2035 Web: www.mattthistlethwaite.com.au Facebook: www.facebook.com/ThistlethwaiteM Twitter: www.twitter.com/mthistlthwaite Authorised by Matt Thistlethwaite MP Australian Labor Party, Shop 6 205 Maroubra Rd, Maroubra NSW

Exotic Catches Continue The past month has seen even more exotic catches, with jelly bean-sized big eye tuna, which dwell mainly in tropical waters, caught off Sydney. One angler was lucky enough to catch a 50cm tea-leaf trevally in Lake Macquarie, a rare capture for these parts. Local winemaker Nick Spencer captured a small dog tooth tuna off a local rock ledge using a 40gm slow jig, the second capture of this species I am aware of in Sydney this summer.

Lewis with a pretty rainbow near Lake Eucumbene.

The Fishing Has Been Hot Words and Photo Lewis Kennedy-Hunt Those fishos who have dared to brave the wet conditions of late have been rewarded with some pretty good fishing. Although the water quality in the harbour has been very ordinary, the fishing has still remained surprisingly productive.

An influx of Watson’s leaping bonito has given anglers some good action inside and outside the harbour. These good-looking fish are seasonal regulars known to turn up around this time of year.

Small mack tuna have also been firing despite the large amount of fresh water in the harbour.

Reports of local longtail tuna have been circulating, with an angler capturing one off the rocks just north of the harbour, and another around a metre long just a stone’s throw from South Head.

Smaller cobia seem to be lingering, with one known capture inside the harbour on a spear, and Waverley Public School student James Compton caught a beauty from a kayak on the harbour, much to his old man’s delight. I also received intelligence of a cobia caught on a lure in Lake Macquarie. Amazingly, Lake Macquarie has also seen schools of small mahi-mahi (dolphinfish) entering the lake, which I’ve been informed - much to my surprise - is not a totally uncommon occurrence.

The old fishing adage, “The one that got away”, has haunted yet another angler who hooked a Cobia just inside the heads using a soft plastic on light line. The fish reached the boat multiple times throughout the long fight before eventually snapping the line and earning its freedom.

Heartbroken angler Nick estimated the fish to be around 15kg.

58 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

Autumn Fishing Locally Autumn marks the beginning of a gradual temperature drop in our oceans and estuaries. As such, fish will begin to change their habits and so will the fishermen. We will see a decrease in the presence of summer pelagics like bonito, mack tuna and watson’s leaping bonito, and an increase in the resident salmon and tailor both inside and outside the harbour. Fish become more competitive for food as the declining water temperature signals that winter is ahead and the main food sources become more scarce.

Spreading The Wings For me, the months of April and May scream at me to tow the boat a few hours north and chase the southern bluefin or longtail tuna. These hard-fighting sportfish can grow to in excess of 30kg and are known to voraciously attack a lure or live bait. I will also be devoting some early mornings and late afternoons to harassing the local snapper population in the washes around the inshore islands using soft plastics and unweighted baits. My social streams have been crammed with captures of big Spanish mackerel, longtail tuna, trophy snapper and kingfish, giving me even more motivation to make the trip despite having to sell a kidney to cover the fuel costs.

Trout Pout May also marks the official commencement of the annual trout spawning season up in the high country of New South Wales. This is the one time of year that I dare to bust out the fly rod and spend a few days wading through the freezing streams in this beautiful part of the state.

Euro-nymphing, a pseudo form of fly fishing, is the go-to technique for this time of year on the browns and rainbows and involves the use of a two-fly rig that utilizes a weighted nymph-style presentation dragged across the bottom with a fish egg pattern fly a few centimeters above it.

The fish can also be caught on diving lures and soft plastics for those who want to stick to the spin rod. Camping in the sub-zero temperatures of the spawn run is not for the faint-hearted!

May 2022 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Photo Theresia Hall Instagram @theresia.g.hall Monday

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Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

30 0219 0808 1345 2018

0.52 1.38 0.61 1.82

31 0257 0849 1418 2053

0.51 1.35 0.64 1.83

2 0315 0913 1455 2122

0.49 1.44 0.58 1.80

3 0355 0952 1525 2156

0.51 1.38 0.64 1.78

4 0435 1032 1558 2231

0.54 1.32 0.70 1.74

5 0517 1115 1634 2310

0.58 1.27 0.75 1.69

9 0148 0858 1510 2030

1.53 0.67 1.23 0.88

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10 0255 0951 1609 2141

1.53 0.62 1.31 0.84

11 0357 1037 1657 2243

1.55 0.57 1.41 0.76

12 0450 1118 1738 2336

1.59 0.51 1.54 0.65

16 0208 0807 1358 2027

0.36 1.60 0.43 2.01

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17 0301 0.30 0900 1.55 1443 0.47 2115 2.05

18 0356 0957 1531 2205

0.29 1.49 0.53 2.05

19 0454 1055 1625 2259

0.31 1.42 0.60 2.00

23 0208 0905 1517 2053

1.72 0.48 1.39 0.76

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24 0316 0959 1615 2205

25 0417 1045 1706 2311

1.59 0.51 1.55 0.69

The Opening.

1.65 0.50 1.46 0.74

Friday

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1 0235 0833 1425 2049

0.48 1.50 0.53 1.79

7 0658 0.66 1256 1.20 1810 0.86

8 0046 0758 1400 1915

1.57 0.68 1.20 0.89

13 0539 1.62 1157 0.45 1818 1.67

14 0028 0627 1235 1900

15 0117 0715 1315 1942

0.44 1.63 0.41 1.92

20 0556 1158 1722 2357

0.36 1.37 0.67 1.91

21 0700 0.41 1303 1.34 1827 0.73

22 0100 0805 1413 1938

1.81 0.45 1.34 0.76

27 0007 0600 1204 1831

0.64 1.49 0.53 1.70

28 0056 0645 1239 1909

29 0139 0728 1312 1945

0.55 1.41 0.58 1.80

Moons

Moon • New Quarter • First Moon • Full • Last Quarter

26 0512 1.54 1127 0.52 1751 1.63

Sunday

6 0604 1201 1717 2354

0.63 1.23 0.81 1.63

0.54 1.64 0.42 1.80

0.59 1.45 0.55 1.76

1 small bunch coriander, leaves and roots, chopped 1 tbs fish sauce 2 tsp white sugar (or grated palm sugar if you have) Juice of ½ lime 1 tbs coconut oil or olive oil 1 whole snapper, gutted and scaled (750gm) To serve Chopped coriander leaves, finely sliced spring onion, finely sliced red chilli, fresh lime

It's hard to beat fresh snapper.

Thai Whole Snapper Words and Photo Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine I’d like to say I caught this myself, but no. He was a very fresh whole snapper though, bought locally, perfect for injecting supercharged Thai flavours to create a delicious meal.

A fragrant marinade is made by blitzing traditional Thai ingredients and placing a very generous amount on top of the scored fish, all bundled into a parcel of baking paper and cooked in the oven where it steams to perfection and flavours permeate the flesh.

60 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

All that is left to do before serving is adorn it with the freshest coriander leaves, fresh lime, chilli and spring onion, then send it out with steamed rice and a fresh salad.

Ingredients 1 lemongrass stalk (white only), chopped 10cm piece of fresh ginger, peeled and chopped 2 cloves garlic, halved 1 long red chilli, chopped 1 long spring onion, chopped

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 180 degrees celsius.

2. Make a paste with all the ingredients by blitzing in a food processer.

3. Score both sides of the flesh of the snapper (3-4 times) with a sharp knife.

4. Place the fish on a large sheet of baking paper on a baking tray.

5. Pour the marinade generously over the fish and inside the scores of the flesh.

6. Fold the baking paper firmly around the fish, securing at each end so the steam doesn’t escape as it cooks.

7. Place in the oven for 30 minutes or until the flesh is cooked through.

8. Remove from the oven and transfer to a large platter.

9. Dress the snapper with the coriander leaves, spring onion, sliced red chilli and fresh lime, and serve.

Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to here in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.

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Stop waffling.

Dirty Disclaimers Words Jay Houhlias Photo Luke Warm Let’s talk about the written word, shall we? I find that every time I try to make an argument about something, I have to at some point include a phrase like this: “I understand that not all people are like this...” or this: “Now, there are probably a lot of people who disagree with me, however...” or one of the all-time greats: “Well, it just depends...”

Don’t you get infuriated just reading those statements?

These statements, or ‘disclaimers’, are a waste of words and a terrible denigration of our great language. Either say something or say nothing, but whatever you do, don’t say, “Yeah, look, everyone should do this but, you know, I suppose it depends on the person.”

When you say things like this, you’re essentially rendering your words meaningless. *Now look, there are phrases you can use to convey a more balanced view, phrases like ‘by and large’, or ‘generally speaking’. But we have decided these phrases just aren’t good enough for us, and if you don’t want to be considered assumptive, vague and stupid, you 62 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

must elaborate with a carefully constructed, neutral disclaimer.

These ‘disclaimers’ now have nothing to do with impartiality and fairness and everything to do with avoiding reprimand.

We are too caught up in thinking about how something is received and how it makes us look. Can’t we just read something and not try and mold it so we agree with every word and punctuation mark? If we want to assume that if someone does not say, “...however, this does not apply to everyone”, then they really believe that what they are saying applies to every single person that is living, we’re going to have a tough time learning anything.

Learning is already tough enough, why make it tougher by watering down importance and substance by disclaiming things all the time? *You might say that disclaimers like these are necessary, and news, current affairs and public information needs to be unbiased, which it does. But the effect of constant disclaimers is far too troubling to leave untargeted, and I’ll give you an example...

There was an article I read in the Sydney Morning Herald (a premier Sydney newspaper, by the way) and it was atrocious. It was a compilation of cliché arguments, a bland repertoire of claims like ‘everyone is unique and has a unique set of experiences’, by someone wanting to waste words with the goal of appearing wise and measured.

Now, I am not saying I could have done any better, but… you see? You see what happened just then? I said it. A disclaimer, a dirty disclaimer. What if I hadn’t said that, would you think I was an arrogant snob?

Probably. Would you start comparing my writing to the SMH article? Probably. You see how much time we just wasted going over that nonsense - I could have just given my opinion.

The greatest written works didn’t have time for disclaimers. They have something important to say, and they say it in the most impactful way possible. The goal is to learn, not write a plausible but lukewarm work that everyone around you accepts so you can walk around without feeling like a renegade. *Perhaps you’ll say that it’s not necessary for me to make such a strong case against these disclaimers, however I do believe the import of my making such a case is implicit within the very message of this article. I must make a strong case because I don’t want fake impartiality and a watered-down message.

You might have noticed that scattered throughout this piece were little, subtle disclaimers. I have marked them with *. Now that you know what the * signifies, try reading over the article again. See what happens when you read over the * paragraphs.

How do you feel? Does your mind switch off because you’re just sick and tired of how bland it all is? That’s how I feel when I read disclaimers.

The Bangles are back.

Yeah The Buoys Satire Alasdair McClintock @aldothewriter Photo Susanna Hoffs If you listened to this year’s Triple J Hottest 100, you would have heard The Buoys rocking in at number 85 with their absolute ripping track, ‘Lie To Me Again.’ I’m not lying to you (again) when I say I believe it should have been higher. I mean, The Wiggles got number one, for heck’s sake! The Beast caught up with lead guitarist Hilary Smith, fresh off their recent tour of the east coast and a sold out show in Brisbane. It turns out she is actually a fan of the Wiggles.

“I was obsessed with The Wiggles and AC/DC as a kid,” Hilary said about first falling in love with music, “so playing guitar felt like a natural choice.

My parents listened to a lot of blues and roots music, so that formed a lot of my musical tastes growing up.”

The band have had a few

line-up changes, but the current crop have been at it for a few years now. They are: Courtney Cunningham on bass guitar, Hilary Geddes on lead guitar, Tess Wilkin on drums and Zoe Catterall on rhythm guitar and lead vocals. Hilary describes their sound as, “Anthemic songs that lift you up and tear out your heart, laden with warm and fuzzy guitars to keep you safe at night. Good for winding down the windows on a long car trip and belting out a chorus with your best friends.”

Their latest EP, Unsolicited Advice for Your DIY Disaster, is certainly good for that. It’s full of songs that are impossible not to sing along to, and that stick in your head for days.

Living there, unbeknownst to yourself, until you’re suddenly humming one as you wait in line for coffee. It’s also put the

higher ups in the industry on notice, with the band supporting Hoodoo Gurus and Dandy Warhols in April. “A bit of a dream come true,” Hilary said.

“The Buoys are such a special band to play in,” Hilary continued. “There’s a real alchemy when we’re onstage together, and after the last two years, here’s hoping we can do more of that soon.”

If you’re lucky enough to get tickets, they are playing the Opera House in June as part of VIVID festival, “which is mighty exciting,” Hilary said.

“We’re also hoping to release some new music soon, so keep an ear out for that in the next couple of months.”

In the meantime, you can listen to ‘Lie To Me Again’ on iTunes and Spotify, and keep up with the band’s happenings by following @the_buoys.

Issue 208 May 2022 The Beast 63

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ACROSS 1. Die Hard actor (5,6) 6. Place of study or specialised training (7) 8. Cruel Roman emperor (4) 9. Off-topic (1,1) 10. Internal organ protruding through wall of muscle (6) 11. Wet, muddy ground (3) 12. Long, arduous journey (4) 14. Former Democratic Republic of the Congo (5) 16. ‘Your message has been received’ (5) 19. Thank you (2) 20. Biscuit producer (7) 22. Portable cooler (4) 23. Negative (2) 24. Intelligence demonstrated by machines (1,1) 25. Not wet (3)

26. Cash dispensing machine (1,1,1) 27. Bloodsucker (5) DOWN 1. NSW Minister for Health (4,7) 2. Type of fish (3) 3. Nocturnal marsupial (6) 4. Visible accumulations of textile fibres (4) 5. Miserly person (7) 7. Bring before a court (7) 9. Theatrical musical piece (5) 13. Knockout (1,1) 15. Obtain by unfair means (6) 17. First name of Tom Brady’s missus (6) 18. Capital of Saudi Arabia (6) 19. Title used to designate East and South Slavic monarchs (4) 21. Not off (2)

Trivial Trivia Words Lisa Anderson Photo Theresia Hall Instagram @theresia.g.hall 1. Which Japanese word for popular entertainment means ‘empty orchestra’?

2. Which animal has blue blood, three hearts and a doughnut-shaped brain?

3. Which country has won the most Oscars for Best International Feature Film?

Misty Mistral Point.

64 The Beast May 2022 Issue 208

4. Which country was formed when Tanganyika and Zanzibar unified in 1964?

5. An affogato is an Italian dessert made using coffee and what ingredient?

6. Where in the human body would you find the hammer, anvil and stirrup?

7. Who is Australia’s most capped soccer player?

8. Which song did Bruce Springsteen write for Elvis?

9. Prince Philip was born in which country?

10. What breed of dog featured in the movies and television series Rin Tin Tin?

RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS Unlimited Love Label Warner Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating  I think we can all agree that life is better with John Frusciante actively present in it. His riffs make the world a better place. Now he is back in the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and in our ears, perhaps we have reached a turning point in the dark times the world has endured of late? Sure, I’m clutching at straws, but it’s hard not to be positive listening to Unlimited Love. It’s by no means their most amazing album, but it is perfect for Sunday mornings, as you drive, windows down, to the beach for some slowly rolling two-footers.

DENZEL CURRY Melt My Eyez See Your Future Label Loma VIsta Recordings Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating 

Expired Genre Sci-fi Thriller Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador Expired (originally Loveland) is multi-talented Ivan Sen’s (Mystery Road, Goldstone) sixth feature film, but his first foray into sci-fi.

Its intriguing premise of ‘how do we keep connecting with each other while we’re competing with each other’ is a ten year labour of love.

Sen explained it as “the struggle for love in a competitive future world, of where we are heading as human beings, and the erosion of human traits which are love and trust.”

In a futuristic, neon-drenched and emotionally dark Hong Kong, where love is hard to find amongst the soulless machines and robotics that are now part of everyday life, Jack (Ryan Kwanten), the solitary and sombre assassin for hire, meets April (Jillian Nguyen), a lonely nightclub singer. As their relationship evolves, Jack’s life takes a dramatic turn for the worst. When he searches for help from the reclusive Doctor Bergman (Hugo Weaving) he uncovers a long-buried and disturbing past.

Expired is an ambitious film, visually interesting with a moody score and atmosphere.

Just be prepared for some slow pacing and mumbling dialogue.

Flow is an often touted thing. Denzel Curry has flow. Mad flow, in fact. He is smoother than pouring lukewarm peanut butter all over yourself and letting your lover treat you like a slip ’n slide.

I know you’ve thought about it. Listen to Curry while you’re at it, and it will make for a very pleasant evening. He reminds me a lot of the Big Poppa himself, The Notorious B.I.G., which is a wrap I never thought I’d give anyone, but the insightful self-awareness in many of his lyrics hits that sweet spot where you think, this fella bloody gets it!

THE NINTH WAVE Heavy Like a Headache Label Distiller Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating  Your friend who rarely showers, but somehow always looks attractive, probably loves this band.

I haven’t been to Scotland, but I know enough Scots (three) to confidently make broad generalisations like they are all a bit maudlin, incredibly charming, and never wash their jeans - don’t lick a Scotsman’s jeans (free advice). This is a great album. They are the band We Were Promised Jetpacks and Frightened Rabbit threatened to be, but never quite delivered (R.I.P. Scott Hutchison).

And yes, if you haven’t gathered, they are Scottish.

Issue 208 May 2022 The Beast 65

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Spend more time in the ocean.

The sharks have always been there, they just didn’t used to eat people as much.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 If someone puts your windscreen wipers up, engage in some serious self-reflection and don’t park like a dickhead ever again.

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 Take up a hobby that hardly anyone really participates in, so you get to feel like you’re good at something.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 Don’t bother trying to get the mould off your clothes. You need a new wardrobe, so drop the lot at Vinnies and start again.

Visions Beardy from Hell

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 A gym membership that you actually use will make you much happier than spending a fortune on new clothes.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 If someone fails to refill the ice cube tray and you happen to run out in a time of need, you are morally entitled to harm them.

Taurus Apr 21-May 21 Demand such a big pay rise that your boss gives you the sack, because deep down that’s what you really want.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 Put in some effort to make family time more enjoyable, instead of trying to get away from them all the time.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 Regardless of who wins the next federal election, you will continue to blame the ruling party for all your woes.

Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Arrogantly attribute all your successes to skill and all your failures to luck, despite the opposite being true.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 Surround yourself with ugly people so you can feel more beautiful, but don’t forget to tell them how good they look.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 Take your partner on a Third World holiday. You’ll get a pretty good indication of whether or not there’s a future with them.

Star Signs

Trivial Trivia Solutions 1. Karaoke 2. Octopus 3. Italy 4. Tanzania 5. Ice cream 6. The ear 7. Mark Schwarzer 8. Fire (recorded by The Pointer Sisters) 9. Greece 10. German Shepherd 1

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