The Beast - May 2024

The

BEAST

WHATS ON:

AFL: Swans v Giants

Saturday May 4

Sydney Cricket Ground

Test Rugby: Wallaroos v Canada

Super Rugby: Waratahs v Brumbies

Saturday May 11

Allianz Stadium

NRL: Roosters v Warriors

Sunday May 12

Allianz Stadium

AFL: Swans v Carlton FC

Saturday May 17

Sydney Cricket Ground

Super Rugby: Waratahs v QLD Reds

Friday May 31

Allianz Stadium

ANZAC DAY

25th April

5am Dawn Service ( Coogee Oval )

7am Gunfire Breakfast 1pm Two Up & LIVE MUSIC

INTRODUCING WAVERLEY COUNCIL’S NEW ONLINE SERVICES

Book your hard rubbish clean-up online

Apply for your parking permit online

Register for eRates

waverley.nsw.gov.au/easyas

Deep Rising

Words James Hutton - Publisher

Welcome to the May 2024 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s autumnal beaches of the east.

There’s a bit of a story behind this month’s cover art, Deep Sea Mining With Bone Poles, which was created by one of Australia’s most awesome artists of all time, the brilliant Reg Mombassa - you can see more of Reg’s work at www.regmombassa.com.

The piece, which currently adorns the side of creative agency Emotive’s headquarters in Alfreda Street, Coogee, is part of a global impact campaign to raise awareness of the horrors of deep seabed mining. American actor Jason Momoa’s environmental documentary, Deep Rising, about the urgent threat of this destructive mining method, has inspired the campaign, headed by Palau Pledge co-founder Laura Clarke in partnership with Emotive.

“Deep Rising isn’t just a campaign; it’s a vital call to action to safeguard our planet’s future,” Emotive CEO Simon Joyce told The Beast.

“We’ve always believed in the power of creativity to change how people feel, and what better cause to apply that to than this.”

The ocean is home to over half of the life on our planet, and the deep sea accounts for more than 95 per cent of the earth’s biosphere. According to UN law, the deep seabed in international waters is deemed the “common heritage of humankind” and belongs equally to all of us, and to future generations.

Despite this, and behind closed doors, companies with ties to fossil fuels are working to destabilise these regulations and open the door to mining for personal profit and corporate gain. As a result, the International Seabed Authority, which was set up by the UN to govern the deep seabed, are now in favour of ex-

ploiting it on behalf of pro-mining companies and nations.

Reg got involved in the campaign and created Deep Sea Mining With Bone Poles as his contribution to the cause.

“When Deep Rising asked me to design a mural critical of deep seabed mining, I was happy to accept the commission,” he said.

“I have always been sceptical and suspicious of big business. Capitalism has brought many benefits to the world, but unregulated capitalism and the vigorous pursuit of profit and expansion have caused irreparable harm to the natural world and to humans. I can’t see how deep seabed mining will be any different.”

We’ll let you know how to get involved when the campaign’s next phase launches in June.

There’s a lot happening at the Bondi Pavilion over the coming month. You can catch Jonathan Seidler’s book launch of All the Beautiful Things You Love on April 30 in the Bondi Pavilion Theatre, in partnership with Gertrude & Alice. On May 1, kick off the month with BLACKBIRD by Poetica, a beautiful music and poetry tribute night to The Beatles. Submissions for the Waverley Art Prizes close soon, with Waverley Art Prize entries closing on May 12 and Waverley Youth Arts Prize entries closing on May 24. The hilarious faux-French comedy Don Juan will take over the theatre from May 23-25 with a show that has been described as “the blackest and sexiest of comedies”. The Bondi Festival program will be announced on May 23 (with the

festival set to light up winter once again in July).

St Catherine’s School will be holding its annual fair on Saturday, May 4, from 10am to 4pm at 26 Albion Street, Waverley. Visitors will enjoy inflatable rides for kids, gift and specialty stalls, good food and music, dance and drama performances. There will also be raffles, prizes and live auctions. Lock in the date, bring the family together and get amongst it!

Food Addicts in Recovery

Anonymous hold free weekly meetings every Thursday evening from 7pm in the Club Room at the Margaret Whitlam Centre, Waverley Park, for anyone suffering from food addiction, food obsession, overeating, under-eating or bulimia. There are no dues or weigh-ins. For more information, please visit www.foodaddicts.org.

I’ve included Ebony Ryan’s short story, Experiencing Bronte Beach, in this edition. Ebony took out second place in the short story category of The Beast Young Writers Competition. It reminds me of some of the floggings I’ve experienced while attempting to make my way out the back at Bronte on bigger days.

Thanks for reading The Beast. Pearl’s having a month off but she’ll be back for the June edition. It’s been nearly 20 years putting together this local publication and I’m still enjoying it as much as ever.

Cheers, James

The

60,000

Reg's mural in Alfreda Street.

Romancing the Stone.

Whether an inner-city semi or a harbourside pad, Ablestone® Designer Concrete will stimulate your senses in a way few other materials can.

Silky to the touch, combined with serene elegance and cool atmospherics.

That is just the beginning, the possibilities are endless. Consider ‘The Coast’ mix (featured) or create a mix to suit your unique taste.

Architect: MCK Architects. Photography: Rethmeier Still Images. Builder: Toki Construction

SUNDAY 19 MAY, 11AM - 4PM

OXFORD STREET MALL BONDI JUNCTION

BITE INTO FOOD, CULTURE, AND LIVE MUSIC FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD AT OUR ANNUAL FOOD FESTIVAL, GLOBAL TABLE

Not for the faint-hearted.

Experiencing Bronte Beach

Words Ebony Ryan, Bronte Photo David Schwimmer

Pearly white, churning waves dive for the shore, washing up onto the sand in defeat. Bronte Beach is still rough, even in the early evening, and it’s hard to think so close to the roar of the waves. A brisk wind whisks past, cold and unnecessary as it sends the hairs on my arms straight up. I’m standing almost directly at the waterline, with the massive swell falling back and forth with the rhythm of the ocean. The clouds above are dark and foreboding, promising rain, or even a storm. Thunder rumbles distantly and I take a deep breath. Now or never. The waves on the shore rear up and crash so quickly I instinctively jump back. The water rushes towards me hungrily, eating up my legs with a freezing spray. I clench my teeth at the sudden shock but start further into the seemingly sub-zero water. The waves have retreated and I take the opportunity to run further into the water. It rises up to my waist, hugging

my skin, begging me to come in further. Suddenly a wave rears forward with surprising speed and I slam through it with my shoulder, which is both painful and fun.

I dive down into the glacial depths to avoid another and, opening my eyes underwater, I’m greeted with a beautiful, dark turquoise paradise. Dozens of fish swirl past in hurried little groups, dodging the rocks and swaying algae with practised ease. A wave crashes overhead, sending underwater explosions of clouds through the water. Head pounding with pressure and lungs burning, I push off from the soft ocean floor back into a world of sound. Breaking the surface, I gasp in great mouthfuls of air, floundering in the ocean as the water jostles me from side to side. My legs fight to keep moving and my arms ache. I look back just in time to see a colossal wave surge right over me, crashing down like hell

itself. “Oh my God...”

It’s all white and the roaring clash of sound rolls me around and around, turning me head over heels, lungs and heart choking, and I’m swept up onto the shore, sore and sandy as ever, gasping for air but alive. I’m still coughing and spitting up salt water halfway across the beach as I limp to my clothes. I collapse onto it, clutching my heart to make sure it hasn’t jolted out of my ribcage in shock.

My body is shaking all over and I don’t know if it’s from the cold or the shock. My nose leaks like a faulty tap and I sniff, watching the dark waves dump on the beach with wide eyes. After a while, my shaking ceases and I sigh tiredly, aching all over. There’s a soft pit-pat of rain hitting sand and there’s a brief flash overhead, followed by a loud boom of thunder. I hurry off the beach, escaping the storm and not bothering to look back. I think I’ve had enough of Bronte for a lifetime.

Lock in the date, bring the family together and join us at the Fair! Enjoy inflatable rides for kids, gift and specialty stalls, food and BBQs and music, dance and drama performances as well as raffles, prizes and live auctions.

Key events in Term 2:

• Magnolia Fair: 4 May

• Senior School Musical: 9-11 May

• Band Showcase: 28 May

• St Cath’s Got Talent: 19 June

• Dance Showcase: 27 June

Scan for the full Term 2 events schedule.

To contact the school or join our communications list, please email stcaths@stcaths.nsw.edu.au or call 02 8305 6200.

Our Community Consultative Committee (CCC) is looking for new members. If you are interested in joining our CCC, which typically meets four times per year, please contact our Independent Chair, Ms. Roberta Ryan at roberta@forward-thinking.net.au.

The Beast's Monthly Mailbag

Words The Pragmatic People of the Eastern Beaches

Buses

Dear James - Thank you for publishing the letter from Lesley Spicer (Bus or Them? The Beast, April 2024). I couldn’t agree more with Leslie’s opinion of the buses and how the drivers and service has disintegrated since the last government privatised (thank you Mr Andrew Constance).

I spoke to a driver, one of the older drivers, while waiting for the bus to leave, who said the company is having trouble recruiting drivers and that he had been working 12-hour shifts.

If you have ever seen an old movie called Hell Drivers, you will get an idea of how some of the new ones drive!

AP Bronte

PS Thanks, James, for your great magazine, cheers.

Student Transport

Hi there - Can anyone tell me why I see so many school students get on buses without paying? I assume there is some sort of student discount card that is meant to be used when going to school and leaving that gives them a reduction or even free travel, but aren’t they supposed to be in uniform to receive this discount?

I see so many cockily walk past the machines when not in uniform and nothing is said by the driver, further encouraging this attitude and behaviour. And so often they occupy seats while older passengers stand.

Then there’s the turnstyles at rail stations, where students often seem to be competing in some Olympic sport, such as ‘squeeze yourself through the barriers’ or the ‘barriers high jump’ competition.

Some of the fault is the design of these low, waist-high barriers, encouraging this competition, unlike those in Europe which are shoulder height. And, again, rail officers standing at these barriers act like they are blind. Is it a matter of ‘don’t upset them, dont get yourself into trouble’.

Am I becoming even more of a grumpy old man, or just thinking of fairness? And why don’t transport officers seem to care?

Norman Bondi Junction

Bondi Beach Signage

Waverley Council has got some great initiatives and directives that promote community, public health and safety. These directives include the ‘no smoking zone’ on Hall Street (it would be great if they could extend it

to cover all of the Bondi Beach area), no smoking on the sand at Bondi, no ball games on the beach, no alcohol on the beach and the ‘swim between the flags’ directives.

On any given day, one can observe these rules being disregarded or flaunted, and I believe all these directives are falling short due to inadequate and non-existent signage. I am sure that the hoarse lifeguards yelling at wayward beachgoers day in and day out and having to make unnecessary rescues due to the lack of public knowledge would agree.

These additional signs need to be implemented now to prevent any further injuries or loss of life, God forbid, before one even steps foot onto the sand! And they should cover the diverse language groups that pass through Bondi on a daily basis. As well as the signage, maybe Council could even commission an artist to paint an informative mural on the promenade about the rules of Bondi Beach?

Mr W Oak Bondi Beach

Beardy's Sage Advice

Dear James and The Beast team - Thanks very much for putting such a good community magazine together every month. I’m always very happy to see it when I open the letterbox.

I work backwards, as Beardy’s gems of wisdom are such a great place to start. Every month he nails it with pricless advice and observations that always have me laughing hard. I forward the star signs to family and friends who live elsewhere, and they also now rely on this sage advice. I don’t know how he comes out with twelve gems each month, but please keep up the good work mate, a lot of people out here appreciate it, I can assure you!

I also loved Nat Shepherd’s article in the latest edition (The Unreliable Guide to... Paradise, The Beast, April 2024). We are indeed extremely lucky to live

here - just have a look around the world and the conditions a lot of people live in and think about how many of them would swap with us in a heartbeat!

Aaron Bondi

What's the Speed Limit?

Dear Beast - WTF?! Don’t worry about getting smashed by the cars along Oxford Street, Bondi Junction, you’ve got to watch out for the cyclists. They zoom along those cycle lanes like there’s no tomorrow.

There has to be a walking pace speed limit. The cars go slow, people walk slow, but someone forgot to tell those blooming, zooming cyclists that they share the space with pedestrians.

Frank Maroubra

Ausgrid Power Lines

I live on the corner of John and Edmond Streets, Queens Park. It is a modest 1930s two-storey block of eight apartments that is kept in good repair. In 2023, exterior repair work was successfully completed on the three sides of the building.

The apartments front onto John Street, with access to the main entry door and rear courtyard from the street footpath. Our strata committee wishes to repaint and repoint the fourth remaining south side of our building and repair a severely leaking roof gutter. This work will take several weeks to complete.

Ausgrid power lines run along John Street directly in front of our building, about one and a half metres away from our front facade. These powerlines are the old bare wire type.

Under SafeWork NSW Code of Practice our contractors require Ausgrid to cover all power wires with what they call ‘tigertails’ to make the lines safe before erecting the scaffolding required for repair work to be carried out.

Strata have a lengthy email chain asking how this should be done so work may commence. In

response, Ausgrid has given no commitment and only listed all the methods that are not suitable for the task. Ausgrid has requested no more emails!

As we await a solution, the integrity of our building is compromised by the leaking roof gutter, pedestrians get drenched as water cascades to the public footpath.

On behalf of our owners and tenants I contacted the NSW Minister for Energy. After a long wait the Minister for Climate Change, Energy, Environment & Heritage, Penny Sharpe MLC, responded with a standard reply involving Ausgrid. Three options are presented and two are rejected as scaffolding is essential and remedial work will take more than a day!

The third option is a longterm decision involving engaging a Level 3 Accredited Service Provider to submit a ‘contestable works plan’ to Ausgrid to create an aerial cable bundle to move them away four metres from the building. This would not be feasible as the wire bundle would be in the middle of John street!

It would appear Ausgrid makes the building owner pay for any power line realignment under this regulatory framework.

The estimated cost from an electrician is $30,000. This sum would represent the total of two years of our strata levies. The quote for our repairs (see above) only comes to $3,500 total, excluding gutter repairs.

Power poles and lines erection and maintenance was privatised in 2017 by the Liberal/Greens Government.

Has anyone else experienced this problem in dealing with Ausgrid? Thank you for a great paper.

Robert Ives

Queens

Park

Admiring John Howard

During a Funeral

While attending a funeral in one of the Eastern Suburbs’ most exquisite locations in early

January, the funeral director told the audience that the man of the hour “admired John Howard”. For the next half an hour I had time to ponder, for what can we admire John Howard?

First, I came up with the GST. Thanks to John Howard, every time I buy something I have to pay 10 per cent more. Great!

Next, I came up with Howard’s cunning republic referendum that assures Australia remains a monarchy. Terrific, Camilla Parker Bowles, Queen of Australia! Then came ‘the man of steel’ (George Bush) and his war on Iraq for no weapons of mass destruction. This was closely followed by turning back the clock on Aboriginal affairs and global warming.

Finally, I came to the towering achievement of Howard. John Howard described Cardinal George Pell as “a person of both high intelligence and exemplary character”. Bingo, baby! For that, all Australians can admire John Howard. The funeral ended and I walked home.

Queen Camilla Admirer Randwick

Coogee Bay Hotel Site Update

Dear Editor - Last night Randwick councillors voted to make a submission to the Eastern Sydney City Planning Panel and include the community objections to the Coogee Bay Hotel redevelopment.

The panel will now decide if this massive overdevelopment can proceed, impacting forever one of Australia’s first seaside villages.

If approved, our beloved beach suburb will never be the same. Despite Coogee being heavily medium density, with unit blocks dominating the area, the beachfront retains a low-rise feel thanks to the scenic protection zoning, which stipulates a maximum height of 12 metres (3-4 storeys). This zoning has protected the majority of the beachfront from turning into the Gold Coast.

This site currently contains over 30 affordable housing units, which will be bulldozed to make way for a wall of luxury apartments exceeding the current height limit.

The development will dominate the heritage building while at the same time demolishing buildings along Coogee Bay Road built in 1918 and giving us a link to the WWI era.

The fate of Coogee now rests in the hands of the planning panel.

Maria Bradley Coogee

Jobs for the Boys by the Catholic Church Must Not Happen Again

Dear James - There was a collective sigh of relief around all the Sydney Catholic schools last week with the announcement that the current Executive Director will not be renewing his contract for another five years.

While limited good may have come about from the radical and sweeping changes during his tenure, how the heart and soul of Sydney’s biggest system of schools outside public education will be restored is not the only question to be answered.

Rather, how will the Sydney archdiocese ensure that a truly transparent process to find and employ a suitable candidate will actually take place? How will the Archbishop guarantee that being his friend is not the most important criterion necessary to hold such a significant position? How can it be assured that the position of Executive Director must hold at the very least an education degree and have had experience teaching within a school system before? How will the archdiocese ensure that diversity and gender equality are considered?

I am a practising Catholic and a teacher who has dedicated a career to Catholic education. Jobs for the boys must not happen again. Parents and teachers associated with Catholic schools must act! For anyone who wants to keep the Church accountable, well here is another chance to ask

questions and demand answers. We have a moral obligation to speak up and change detrimental culture within the Church on this occasion for the future of Catholic schools in Sydney.

Please send any of your concerns to Keiran Walters, Private Secretary to the Archbishop at chancery@sydneycatholic.org.

Liz

South Coogee

Pocket Folly

I was going to wait until the Carrington Road/Clovelly Road pocket park was complete before commenting further, but as more and more concrete (Council’s favourite building material) is poured I must respond to Lindy’s recent posting (Clovelly Pocket Park, Monthly Mailbag, The Beast, April 2024).

The “dangerous” slip road (which I walked across daily for 20 years, without incident) has disappeared under the slurry and the first of the circus-themed fittings are arriving.

The existing pocket park on Glebe Street has been reduced by half to accommodate workers on the project, while nearby residents can enjoy the drone of the generator five days a week.

All this brings to mind the follies that UK nobles used to build on their estates to demonstrate their wealth. They paid for these themselves, unlike Council and the state government, who (while crying poor) are funding this $2 million folly with our taxes and rates.

Perhaps we can get Banksy down here to paint the concrete and provide the lovely green spot?

Steve Coogee

ATO Money Grab

Hi James - I write to inform both you and the trusted readers of possibly the only remaing informative, independent, free, factual, true and honest news outlet for the good people of the Eastern Suburbs, The Beast

magazine... I write to inform of yet another cruel and unjust act of the Albanese Labor Goverment and his henchmen at the ATO to a lowly, struggling middle class worker, who in this present economic climate of high interest rates, rampant inflation and the ever rising cost of living has had his feet knocked out from under him and the rug pulled out.

The thing is that, as a good and dutiful citizen, I have always worked and payed my taxes on time. Sometimes I get money back and sometimes I have to pay the ATO a little bit extra. Last year the ATO said, after me paying tax all year, that I still owed them $1,129, which I dutifully paid straight away, no questions asked. Now, at the start of the 2024 tax year, someone at the ATO decided that I might not be able to pay my anticipated tax bill for this year and has put me on a $581 quarterly PAYG income tax instalment for this year, on top of the fortnightly tax they deduct from my wages.

When I questioned them about this they said that I was sent a letter by email about this, which also outlined how to opt out if I chose to. Well, I never got that email, it went straight into my junk mail and was never read. The man at the ATO said words to the effect of, “That’s too bad, and there is no way you can cancel this as the date to opt out has passed,” and so I have to keep paying the $581 every three months for this tax year, just in case I end up owing them money at the end of this tax year. And if I don’t pay I will face a further $550 fine. I never opted in or chose this, who would?

Thankfully I don’t have an outstanding tax debt or owe any money to the ATO. This is just another kick in the teeth to the working man from the Albanese Government and his bullying, faceless thugs. Whatever happened to the free true blue Australia of yesteryear?

Tommy Bronte

Responding to ‘I’m a Bondi Girl’ in the Latest Edition of The Beast

There’s nothing like a little overt objectification and misogyny to pop us girlies back into our places now International Women’s Day is over. Great to see The Beast playing its part in supporting equality in our community by publishing such enlightening content.

Let’s hope our local MP, The Beast contributor and, of course, Bronte girl Dr Marjorie O’Neill doesn’t quit her day job, considering all us gals are good for is acting flippant and working on our appearances.

Charlotte

Coogee Girl with a 9-5! Coogee

I Could Never Get a Bondi Girl

Personality all rolled up tight, Am I a loser? That sounds right. Spending all my time being a hater,

Try to talk to girls but they say, “See you later.”

I could never get a Bondi girl. Hiding in my gamer’s lair, Playing it off like I don’t care. Ubereat Maccas on repeat, My kJ intake can’t be beat.

I could never get a Bondi girl. No soft sand running, I’m a slug, Why doesn’t Uge want to capture this mug?

Party until 4am?

Wish I could but I have no friends.

I could never get a Bondi girl. Sparkling water, no wait, coke, I’m green with envy, my life is a joke.

Hair appointments - I can’t, I’m bald,

Pretty girls, I’m so appalled.

I could never get a Bondi girl. Confusing being healthy with being vain,

If only it weren’t to mask my pain.

Judging everyone who’s not like me,

Why can’t I just let them be?

Because I am jealous of Bondi girls.

Samantha

Bondi

Peeping Peter

Peter, Peter the constant peeper, If he had a wife, he couldn’t keep her,

He now sits outside my house all day,

My gym, My salon, I can’t get away. Notes it down when I stay out late,

Watches me eat, Watches me date, Writing me poems, for all to see, Why are you so obsessed with me?

Bondi Girl

Bondi

A Break-Up Letter

My Dearest Bondi Junction - We have enjoyed a long and beautiful relationship but it’s time to call it a day… I am breaking up with you. I wish you all the best after your ill-thought-out, futile dalliance with the stupendously dangerous, unnecessary bicycle lanes. Locals, total strangers and even tourists are talking about your foolishness, BJ; it’s embarrassing and it’s the end of the road.

Bicycles and e-bikes are classed as vehicles in NSW and belong on the roadway with other vehicles, not on footpaths or encroaching on footpaths. BJ, did you consider dropping the maximum central Bondi Junction traffic speed for all vehicles down to 25km/h and enforcing the 1-metre passing rule, along with running an intensive public safety awareness campaign to educate vehicle drivers and cyclists? No, obviously you didn’t! All our millions would have been better spent on something useful to benefit the wider community. What a waste.

Bike lanes are integral to the future health of our planet when planned and installed properlyas opposed to The Nightmare on Oxford Street where pedestrians are now forced into involuntary, real life games of Frogger at the new Bondi Junction Velodrome daily where no players ever score any points.

Sparked by the installation of the cycle lanes, the hot new look at Bondi Junction is the exasperated pedestrian ‘BJ eye roll’ so common after observing dangerous cyclist behaviour. The ‘BJ weave and jink’ has also become popular - a new style of walking to avoid falling A-over-T on the mountain of e-bikes dumped on the footpaths, the overflowing cycle racks placed in very silly positions and avoiding cyclists riding on footpaths, running red lights or cycling too fast - The ‘BJ weave and jink’ can be especially challenging for the elderly or infirm.

Pedestrians and cyclists are continually at angry loggerheads like never before. The badly designed Bondi Junction cycle lanes have sparked a new fear and loathing of all cyclists that was non-existent prior to installation.

One of many e-bike riders spotted travelling well over 25km/h along the Spring Street pedestrian footpath recently, using battery power only, was glued to a mobile phone while eating a sausage roll at the same time - how are pedestrians supposed to deal with this level of stupidity, especially when there’s zero policing of illegal cyclist behaviour, ‘give way to pedestrians’ signs are ignored and there’s no accountability, no mandatory visible cyclist registration and no mandatory cyclist CTP cover?

Why have cyclists, in effect, been given ‘the keys to the streets and footpaths’, and everywhere else? Why have they been given special treatment and off-thescale brand new, very expensive road infrastructure at the expense of all others? It is surprising, when cyclists are actively and hugely outnumbered by pedestrians, vehicles, residents, roadside retail stores and other businesses that have been inconvenienced and disadvantaged without consultation or consideration. Council would have instead been applauded for encouraging humans to get out on our footpaths and walk, safely, but sadly it’s too late for that now.

The cycle lanes have ruined the amenity and safety of Bondi Junction and surrounds. While the questionable train station access and loud, grunting, speeding buses carving straight through the guts of the Junction are somewhat tolerable compared to the new cycle lanes, the opportunity for Waverley Council to create a relaxed, joyous, welcoming European-style pedestrian plaza has now been well and truly torpedoed.

With zero kerbing definition between cycle lanes and pedestrian footpaths, parked cars opening doors directly onto fast-moving cycle lanes, buses disgorging large numbers of passengers straight down on to the bicycle lanes - seriously!and cyclists travelling way too fast and aggressively close to pedestrians, the bike lanes are a big, fat, dangerous mistake - for pedestrians and cyclists.

Many cyclists completely shun the Bondi Junction bike lanes and militantly plough along pedestrian footpaths and through the Bondi Junction Mall and markets at high speed, especially during wet or very hot weather to keep dry or cool under the shop awnings. Bondi Junction has turned into a no-go zone for pedestrians, with the basic right to confidently expect and enjoy safe passage on foot now a luxury of the past.

Have any Bondi Junction twowheel riders been stopped and fined $457 for failing to stop at a red light or pedestrian crossing? $344 for not wearing a helmet? $114 for riding on the footpath? $2,200-plus for drunk riding? Fined for speeding? Fined for riding a totally illegal scooter? Or a sky’s-the-limit fine or court hearing for negligent cycling causing injury or death? It is doubtful. In NSW the e-bike speed limit for propulsion via electric-only (no pedal-power) is 25km/h for all battery wattages - somebody forgot to tell the riders and it’s a lawless free-for-all out there.

Cycles and e-bikes in Bondi Junction refuse to stop at red lights and speed through throngs of

pedestrians already crossing on the green person. Stand for five minutes at any time of day and observe the full-on suburban mayhem at the north end of Bondi Junction Mall where it meets Bronte Road near the Kathmandu store.

The corner of Spring and Denison Streets is a fatality waiting to happen, with most cyclists cutting the corner on the pedestrian footpath at high speed instead of sticking to the bicycle path around the corner - both pedestrians and cyclists are in danger of serious injury in this spot. And don’t get me started on the speedway-style blackspot where Denison Street meets Oxford Street adjacent to the mechanics and the Denison zebra crossing. Cyclists passing the large roller doored driveways on Spring Street are at great risk of being flattened by vehicles driving out of the garages at speed - it has happened. And, the newly narrowed road on Birrell Street near the petrol station - honestly?! And the pedestrian road crossing between the two sides of Westfield... The list goes on.

Walking from Bondi Junction past Centennial Park towards Paddington is beyond precarious. The 1-metre wide pedestrian footpath is within touching and puddle splash distance of cars, buses and trucks roaring past, travelling at least 60km/h on the three-lane carriageway. It’s even more dangerous with kids, dogs or a stroller, and certainly not advised with all three in tow.

Let me now introduce to you, ladies, gentleman and distinguished guests, the new, luxuriously appointed, peaceful, very roomy and mostly empty cycle lane that runs along the top of the bank between Bondi Junction and the Paddington Gates. With a fabulous outlook across the park and safely well away from the busy road, one can enjoy shade from the beautiful canopy of historic leafy trees. Available now for exclusive use by cyclists only.

I look forward to the day when Waverley Council realises the

error of its ways, back-pedals furiously, puts its big pants on, bows to public pressure and completely overhauls, makes safe or completely rids Bondi Junction of this confusing, dangerous, exasperating mess and rips out the badly designed cycle lanes, returning to the original road layout and finally make Bondi Junction work well for pedestrians, cyclists, buses and cars.

For BJ’s sake, please create the vibrant and relaxing European-style, pedestrian-focused plazas so badly needed to bring everyone together and cater for the ever-increasing number of local residents living in the gazillions of brand new units, with all vehicles and cycles on the road, all respecting one another. One rule, no confusion, no accidents, 100 per cent pedestrian safety and a 25km/h central Bondi Junction speed limit for alleverybody happy!

Madeleine Walker

The Bondi Junction Velodrome ¢

The Bondi Junction Cycleway was Waverley’s component in the NSW Government’s Eastern Suburbs Cycleway linking the east to Centennial Park.

Council was tasked with delivering this project as part of a multi-million dollar investment by the Australian and NSW Governments to stimulate the economy through the pandemic.

The cycleway, which involved extensive community consultation over a number of years, records 9,000 peak weekly combined trips and was a priority project of Council’s Complete Streets plan to enhance the vibrancy of the Bondi Junction CBD. The cycleway also contributes towards the reduction of congestion on Waverley’s roads.

Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and suburb. We try and publish as many of them as possible, but nothing too crazy please.

“James and his team know their market and made selling my property feel easy”

Local Artist... Reg Mombassa

Reg Mombassa is a national living treasure, despite first seeing the light of day across the ditch in New Zealand. Reg recently painted a mural on the side of local creative agency Emotive’s Coogee headquarters at 27 Alfreda Street to raise awareness of the global threat of deep seabed mining and the importance of stopping it. He shares his local favourites with The Beast...

Where are you living these days? Glebe, but in the past I have lived in Bondi Junction, Coogee and Paddington. We’ve been here for 37 years now. We lived in nearby Annandale but needed a bigger house when we had more children and found an affordable one in Glebe.

What's your favourite local beach? Nielsen Park, although there are so many good beaches around here.

What's your favourite eatery? Baccomatto Osteria in Barker Street, Randwick.

Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? There are too many good beaches, and too many fourwheel drives.

How would you describe your art? A mixture of rural and suburban landscapes and more graphic allegorical narratives with references to popular culture, religion, history and politics.

Where can people see your work? I show with a gallery in Redfern called Rogue PopUp and have an online site called the Reg Mombassa Studio. People can also see my mural at 27 Alfreda Street, Coogee.

Who are your artistic inspirations? Breughal, Bosche, Constable, Van Gogh, Monet, Max Beckmann, Otto Dix, Dada, Robert Crumb and Francis Bacon.

Do you have any exhibitions coming up? Not in the near future. I am currently in group shows in Wollongong and Palm Springs, California, and I recently had solo shows at Bowen Gallery Wellington in New Zealand and Rogue PopUp.

What are you working on at the moment? I’m finishing off a landscape drawing left over from the Wollongong residency.

When did you discover you had a gift for your craft? I drew constantly as a child and was encouraged by my parents, teachers and fellow primary school students.

Any other local artists to look out for? There are too many to list, but I will mention Jason Phu.

Did you study art? Yes, I have a Diploma in Painting from The National Art School.

Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists? Turn up for work every day and look to great comtemporary and historical artists for inspiration.

Do you have a favourite sporting team? I don’t really follow sport but I like The Matildas. They are great role models for girls and young women.

What music are you into at the moment? I have just been listening to tracks by Karen Dalton (an American singer from the sixties and early seventies) and Aldous Harding (a contemporary New Zealand singer-songwriter).

What do you get up to on the weekends? Much the same as weekdays, although most live playing we do with our band Dog Trumpet is on the weekends.

What do you do for work? I draw pictures and I write, record and play music.

What's your favourite thing about work? It stops you from worrying about everything else.

Do you have a favourite quote? “Conservatism is a desperate attempt to justify selfishness.”a paraphrased quote from John Kenneth Gailbraith.

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Be kind: to yourself, to other humans, to the animals and the natural world.

Interview James Hutton Photo Ashley Mar

Reg enjoying being back in his old stomping grounds at Coogee.

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An aerial view of Bronte's lethal rip.

Beware the Bronte Express

Words Anthony Maguire Photo David Finnemore

It’s called the ‘Bronte Express’ - a raging torrent that hooks round the southern end of the beach and can stop even the strongest swimmers from getting back to shore. It’s a permanent feature, made more perilous by an archipelago of rocks.

At around 7.45pm on Sunday, March 10, two men waded into the water at south Bronte and within minutes were fighting for their lives. One was saved by surfers, the other hasn’t been seen since. Waverley Council’s professional lifeguards had gone off duty at 7pm.

The presumed drowning at Bronte follows an 8pm rescue in mid-January when four peoplea man and three women in their thirties - were hauled from the water by surfers after they got stuck in the deadly waters of the Bronte Express.

Now there are calls for steps to prevent further tragedies at one of the most dangerous beaches in Sydney.

President of Bronte Boardriders, Robert Bruns, thinks lifeguards should be on duty at Bronte until 8pm in the busy months.

“They start their beach patrols at 8am, so it’s unrealistic to have them working 12-hour shifts, but perhaps some lifeguards could

work a later shift, coming on duty around midday,” he says.

David Finnemore, Communications Director at Bronte Surf Life Saving Club, doesn’t believe later surf patrols are the answer.

“Putting the flags down later might encourage people to stay later and swim in darkness.”

Mr Finnemore believes improved signage and public education would be more effective in preventing a repeat of the March 10 tragedy.

“Solar-powered electric signs would make people take notice of safety messages. They’d be a strong deterrent to people entering the water after the lifeguards go home.”

He also thinks there should be a social media campaign warning people about the hazards of the Bronte Express - and perhaps suggesting that they consider another location if they’re not good swimmers.

“If you’re a poor swimmer, you might think twice about swimming at Bronte.”

The surf patrols at Bronte, Bondi and Tamarama are run by Waverley Council lifeguards. A spokesperson for Waverley Council told The Beast, “Our lifeguards patrol Waverley’s beaches 365 days a year from 6am to 7pm

during high season (first week of October to the first week of April) and 6am to 6pm during the low season (second week of April to last week of September).”

“These patrol hours are determined based on daylight hours and the safety and capacity of our lifeguard team. Our focus is on encouraging people to only swim within this 13 and 12-hour window when lifeguards are on duty and only when the red and yellow flags are on display.”

Waverley Council takes a dim view of Mr Finnemore’s suggestion about illuminated signage.

“Electronic signage requires messages to be programmed, and the beach would need to be monitored 24/7 for the message displayed on the signage to truly reflect the location of rips, which can change throughout the day and night.”

“Having signage at night could also give the false impression that other areas of the beach are safe to swim in outside of patrol hours.”

What should you do if you get caught in a rip? The head of UNSW’s Beach Safety Research Group, Professor Rob Brander, says the best approach is to relax and float.

“The traditional advice has been to swim parallel to the beach, but that only applies to strong swimmers,” he says.

As the experts debate strategies for saving future lives, a wilting mass of flowers sits in the middle of the Bronte promenade. Tucked among them is a sheet of paper bearing a note addressed to ‘Jamie’ - a hapless passenger on the Bronte Express.

Tributes placed at Bronte Beach.

Ethan has gained an international following.

Local Muso Signed by UK Label

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Henry Lewis-Thorp

Bondi singer-songwriter Ethan Eshuys has scored a deal with a London record label and is heading to the UK in August for a promotional tour.

He was signed by the newly-formed Artist Theory label after his recordings on TikTok and Instagram attracted an international following.

“I’m a bit nervous about stepping out of my comfort zone, but I’m going to give it a really good crack and take it on,” the talented 21-year-old tells The Beast.

What makes Ethan stand out in a sea of other singer-songwriters posting their material on social media? Perhaps it’s the way he’s prepared to lay bare his emotions with fromthe-heart songs like Antidote, Nothing Matters and She Hates.

“Love and angst are universal feelings and I find songwriting extremely cathartic,” he says.

Some of his material is inspired by what he describes as the “toxic masculinity” he grew up with as a student at an Eastern Suburbs private boys’ school.

“There was a pressure to think that if you’re playing music instead of sport, you’re a bit of a loser.”

Ethan was a promising sportsman in his high school years, but when an opportunity arose to play professional Aussie Rules at the age of 17 he was forced to choose between music and sport - he decided to focus on his singing and songwriting.

In his HSC year, he started singing with local surf-rock act Gully Days and has continued performing with that band in tandem with his solo act.

“Learning to project my voice with rock songs has actually helped me a lot with my softer solo singing style,” he says.

Lately he has been playing gigs alongside another upand-coming Eastern Beaches act, The Leedhams, fronted by singer-songwriters Charlotte and Max Leedham. The Leedhams have just started performing with a full band and recently headlined a sold-out gig at Marrickville’s Lazybones Lounge with Ethan, Sourdough and Josh & Darbs.

Mullet Pro Raises $9,000 for Local Surfer Battling Cancer

Words Anthony Maguire

Photo Nicholas Melas

Tamarama’s iconic foam board surfing event, the Mullet Pro, returned in late March, raising around $9,000 for a local surfer battling cancer.

Bronte lifeguard Michael Jenkinson took out the A division and Viv Ane reigned supreme among the female competitors.

Nearly a hundred surfers took part in the competition, sponsored by Softlite Surfboards, Mullet Boards and Bondi’s Curly Lewis Brewing Co. The day saw perfect waves and fine, sunny autumn conditions.

“After years of community separation through COVID, it was great to see everyone get together for this grassroots event,” Mullet Pro founder Earl Weir told The Beast

“A big thank you to Curly Lewis Brewing, Softlite Surfboards, Mullet Boards and Waverley Council for making this year’s event so successful.”

Mr Weir started the Mullet Pro after a close friend succumbed to depression and took his own life. The event has also raised funds for the OneWave mental health program and has vowed to return in memory of Myron and Jon Love in 2025.

Bronte's

Michael Jenkinson dominated throughout the day.

Bringing Back Bondi’s

Mermaids - Or at Least One of Them

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Daryl Hannah

In 1960, bronze statues of two beautiful mermaids were concreted to the massive ‘Big Rock’ at North Bondi by artist Lyall Randolph. Their future was always going to be finite, given the enormous waves that often lash the point - Big Rock, estimated to weigh more than 200 tonnes, had been washed up during a storm in 1912.

As it turned out, it was human beings who subjected the mermaids to their first ordeal. Less than a month after the statues were installed, a bunch of students chiselled one of them away and she resurfaced, so to speak, at the University of Sydney. She wasn’t in good shape but was restored by the artist and put back in place through public funding. Then, in 1974, huge seas attacked the mermaids. One was torn away from its concrete base and never seen again. The other

lost her tail and one arm. Two years later, she was ignominiously rehomed to a Council depot where she gathered dust until 1999, when she was relocated to a perspex case in Waverley Library. She remains on display there today.

Meanwhile, mermaids have remained an integral part of the popular psyche in Bondi, reimagined in a host of different ways by visual artists, filmmakers and other creative spirits.

Now Waverley Council is inviting the public to have a say in the creation of a mermaid art installation in a Bondi Beach location where it should have a longer lifespan than the original. The installation will be at the southern end of Bondi, in Bondi Park, because it’s a dedicated public art site - and well above the waterline.

“Big Rock commands an awe-inspiring location, but it’s safer and more enjoyable for everyone to have this new mermaid sculpture on terra firma,” says Mayor Paula Masselos.

The community has been invited to choose from concept designs by three firms of architects at haveyoursay.waverley.nsw. gov.au/bondi-mermaids, with submissions closing on April 29.

What a Dam Shame! Saving Maroubra Reservoir's Trees

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Jean-Claude Van Damme

Residents living near a Sydney Water-owned reservoir in Maroubra are outraged at a plan to remove most of the mature trees from the site.

The reservoir, referred to by Sydney Water as a “dam,” is surrounded by decades-old native trees which are a haven for birds plus other wildlife.

A letter sent to local householders said Sydney Water intends to “clear trees, shrubs and other obstructive ground cover from the dam embankments and within five metres of the embankment base.”

“This is environmental vandalism! It’s going to be taking place without community consultation or an EIS,” Mary Richard, whose home in Amour Avenue faces the site, told The Beast

“We’re outraged,” said Johnston Parade resident Rob Keady, pointing out a flock of black cockatoos flying in to feast on Banksia pods.

The Beast got in touch with Sydney Water, whose spokesperson had promising news.

“Planned work to remove vegetation around Maroubra Reservoir is on hold until Sydney Water meets the council and community in the coming weeks,” they said.

Hoping for a reprieve.

The original mermaids at North Bondi.

One of the concept designs.

beaches, beautiful sunrises, and some of the most stunning residences in Australia...

It's no wonder that the Eastern Suburbs is one of Sydney's most desirable locations to live. It's about feeling at home, wherever you go.

So, whether you're moving in, or moving on, call Mary Howell. She will make sure you feel right at home, wherever you are. MARY HOWELL 0414 400 345 maryhowell@theagency.com.au

Precincts are meetings of residents who get together regularly to discuss local matters or issues of concern in their neighbourhood. Waverley is split into 13 Precincts and meetings are open to any person living within the Precinct boundaries.

This May, the following meetings are on:

North Bondi – Wednesday 1 May, 7 – 9pm

Mill Hill / Bondi Junction – Monday 6 May , 6.30 – 8.30pm

Bronte – Monday 13 May , 7 – 9pm

Dover Heights – Monday 20 May , 7 – 9pm

South Bondi / Tamarama – Wednesday 22 May , 7 – 9pm

Queens Park – Wednesday 29 May , 7 – 9pm

Visit waverley.nsw.gov.au/precinct to find out location of the above meetings closer to the date.

Not sure which Precinct you belong to?

Visit waverley.nsw.gov.au/findyourprecinct Waverley Council proudly supports resident run Precinct meetings.

Bird Poisoner Targeting the Ravens of Randwick

A low-life sicko is believed responsible for the poisonings of two dozen ravens* and four other native birds in Randwick town centre.

Birds were found lying on the ground twitching over two days in late March. Most did not survive despite treatment by local vets and the WIRES animal rescue service.

Randwick City Council alerted the public about the poisonings in a Facebook posting on March 22, saying the birds had mostly been found near Alison Park and the Silver Street car park. At that point, 12 affected birds had been reported. By the following day, the tally had climbed to 28.

“There were 24 ravens, a couple of currawongs, a magpie and a rainbow lorikeet,” WIRES vet Dr Tania Bishop told The Beast

“Sadly, the majority died or were so badly affected they had to be euthanised.”

A number of the dead birds were sent to Taronga Zoo, which is having tests conducted through a specialist toxicology screening laboratory. The results

were not yet available as The Beast was going to press, but Dr Bishop strongly believes the poison used was an organophosphate or carbamate.

“The muscle twitches and seizures suffered by the birds prior to death tell me it’s most likely a carbamate, which is used in snail and slug baits as well as insecticides.”

Dr Bishop also believes the birds were deliberately poisoned.

“There are unfortunately some people who don’t like wildlife. Perhaps someone thought the birds were making a nuisance of themselves. It’s interesting that the poisonings occurred in a fairly tight cluster around Royal Randwick Shopping Centre.”

One of the birds that survived was a magpie found in the back garden of Avoca Street resident Bonita Halm.

“It was lying on its side and shuddering, with its eyes partially closed,” Ms Halm said.

She called out to her husband Rob and they wrapped a towel around the magpie. They phoned WIRES but they were worried

the stricken animal might die before a volunteer came to collect it. So they rushed it to Struggletown Veterinary Hospital in Barker Street.

“Rob double-parked and I ran inside with the magpie. The staff there told me they’d treated several other birds with the same symptoms.”

Just a few hours later, as she anxiously waited for news of the magpie’s fate, her phone rang. It was Struggletown. They said the bird had survived after being placed on a drip and would be released once it had stabilised.

“I had tears in my eyes as they told me the good news.”

If you have any information about who might be responsible for poisoning our feathered friends, phone the RSPCA on 1300 278 3589. Police will also investigate cases of animal cruelty. And if you find a sick or injured bird, WIRES can be contacted on 1300 094 737.

*Ravens are a different species to crows, distinguishable by their larger size and pale eyes.

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Russell Crow Stark raven mad.

A People Power Plan to Lower Household Bills and Emissions

Words Allegra Spender - Member for Wentworth Photo Teale Vanner

If you’re a renter or live in an apartment, it is tough right now. Renters often do not know when their next rent hike will be, and both renters and apartment dwellers are seeing their energy bills rise with little to no option to switch out of expensive fossils fuels for cheaper and greener alternatives.

With solar on the roof, you can save up to $1,800 a year, and if you switch to gas for efficient electrical appliances you can save up to another $1,600.

I know a lot of people would love to switch out gas and get solar on the roof - it’s better for the climate, better for your health and better for your budget.

But for many it’s just not possible. The yearly savings are there but the upfront costs are too high, and if you are a renter there is just no way of convincing your landlord to install solar.

Here in Wentworth, 60 per cent of us live in apartments and 45 per cent of us are renters. That means way

too many of us are missing out. I have been working with advocates for renters and apartment dwellers, as well as social service groups, to see what solutions there are to help people. Last month I launched a People Power Plan that could help up to half a million homes to electrify over the next three years, particularly renters, apartment-dwellers and low-income households.

It would help households permanently reduce their power bills with rooftop solar, home batteries, more efficient electrical appliances and improved home energy performance. And the best part? We could fund it all by taxing the windfall profits of Australia’s big gas exporters, who have been making record profits in the past couple of years.

Head over to my website, www.allegraspender.com.au/ peoplepowerplan for more information, as well as details on rebates already available in our local area to help you save money on your energy bills.

Local Cube Nerd Outraged by ‘Impossible Configuration’

Words Anthony Maguire

Photo Ernő Rubik

A local Rubik’s Cube nerd has entered the debate over whether the ‘Maroubrix Cube’ should remain solved or unsolved.

The mega-sized replica of the puzzle was created by an unknown artist 15 years ago, transforming a drainage outfall ventilation housing into an artwork. It proved so popular that it was allowed to become a permanent feature, with Randwick Council repainting it every couple of years.

But recently it was ‘solved,’ with uniform colours appearing on each side. That prompted Randwick Council to run a ‘Solved or Unsolved’ survey to determine whether people prefer it that way.

As Council collates the survey results, Maroubra resident Kyle has pointed out an interesting point.

“It’s in an impossible configuration,” he told The Beast.

“A solved cube has green opposite blue, yellow opposite white and orange opposite red.”

“The cube at the beach has green opposite red, yellow opposite blue and the top is orange - presumably we’re meant to imagine there’s a white base.”

Not quite right.

Allegra Spender in Parliament discussing her ‘People Power Plan’.

Proposed Planning Reforms Will Change the Face of the East

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Skye Scraper

Waverley, Randwick and Woollahra Councils are digging in their heels to resist planning changes that would allow six-storey apartment blocks to overshadow numerous parts of the Eastern Suburbs.

Under the Minns government’s proposed reforms to planning controls for low and mid-rise housing, current restrictions imposed by councils will be overridden to allow large residential developments near transport hubs and so-called ‘town centres’.

The reform package, aimed at easing the state’s housing crisis, will pave the way for 112,000 new homes in the Greater Sydney, Illawarra, Hunter and Central Coast and Illawarra regions. This is almost a third of the number of new homes NSW needs to meet under its Housing Accord target of 377,000 new homes by 2029.

Residential unit blocks up to 21 metres high will be allowed within 400 metres of stations and town centres - locations are defined as town centres if they have a full-line supermarket, shops and restaurants. Meanwhile, dense clusters of low-

rise, multi-dwelling properties such as townhouses will also be allowed.

But it is being argued that the Eastern Suburbs already has more than its fair share of high-density housing. The gloves are off for a fight against the reforms, which were placed on public exhibition between late December 2023 and February this year, when numerous residents were away.

Waverley’s Labor Mayor Paula Masselos is not letting party affiliations cloud her thinking as she attacks the Labor government’s plan. In late March, Mayor Masselos and senior Council officers had a meeting with Planning Minister Carl Scully where she made the case for Waverley having a direct say in the planning reforms before they’re set in stone. She argues that, “Waverley is the nation’s second-most densely populated local government area outside City of Sydney,” and wants to have a seat at the table as the final details of the package are worked out.

“There are many local concerns that the proposed reforms, if implemented, would

result in significant unplanned development in Waverley, also having an adverse impact on our heritage,” Mayor Masselos says.

The reforms would forever change the face of heritage areas like Charing Cross and the Mill Hill Heritage Conservation Area in Bondi Junction. Rampant development would be enabled through a ‘non-refusal standards’ mechanism in the reform package.

“The use of non-refusal standards is incredibly concerning as it means these rules will overrule local councils’ carefully considered planning rules,” Mayor Masselos says.

Randwick Mayor Philipa Veitch (Greens) agrees.

“Our community is reeling from the impacts of the housing crisis, but throwing council planning controls out of the window will only benefit developers at the expense of local residents,” she says.

A submission by Randwick City Council to the state government about the reforms expressed concerns about a loose definition of ‘town centre precincts’ which could see multiple areas in the LGA targeted for large-scale residential development.

Woollahra Mayor Richard Shields (Liberal) says the reforms are being rushed through without attention to the necessary infrastructure such as roads, public transport and schools.

“I understand that we need to respond to a housing shortage, and cost of living and affordable housing are big issues at the moment, but density without infrastructure is completely irresponsible,” he says.

Local residents are encouraged to voice their concerns about the reforms by emailing lowandmidrisehousing@ planning.nsw.gov.au and to premier@dpc.nsw.gov.au.

An artist's impression of how Charing Cross could end up looking.

Female Dolphins Perform Swimmingly in Their State League Debut

Words Anthony Maguire

Photo Micky Mantle

The first and second divisions of the newly-formed Eastern Suburbs Women’s Baseball Team triumphed in the NSW Women’s Baseball League last month.

Both teams won their grand final games, trouncing opponents Manly and Ryde. Head coach Peter Neads says the positive attitude of the players played a crucial role in the success of the two teams.

“They put in the hard work during training, they play with respect and they have a good time doing it,” said Mr Neads.

Also helping the teams emerge victorious were three current and former Australian National team players who are members of the first division team. They are Claire O’Sullivan, Jordan Richardson and Laura Neads (Mr Neads’ daughter).

“They’re very good mentors,” he says.

The women’s teams mark a new chapter in the history of the Eastern Suburbs Dolphins, which started out as a junior team 28 years ago.

The Dolphins in action at their Baseball League debut.

Music and creative activities are vital to the curriculum.

Wairoa School is Helping Special Kids to Reach

Their Potential

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Wairoa School

At a state government-run school near Bondi Beach, a group of special young people sit entranced as two staff members sing and play guitar.

Music is a key part of learning at Wairoa School in Brighton Boulevard, North Bondi. The school caters to students with moderate to severe intellectual disabilities. Some are also physically disabled.

“They all respond positively to music,” Principal Carmel Seeto told The Beast.

There are 73 students, from kindergarten to Year 12, and half come from non-English speaking backgrounds. About ten per cent are Indigenous.

The Friends of Wairoa Charity is running a fundraising dinner at The Depot Café in North Bondi on the evening of Wednesday, May 1, to help fund some of the music and other creative programs at Wairoa. Tickets are $300 for a four-course banquet prepared by celebrity Bondi chef Guy Turland and the Depot team.

For more information and to book your spot, please visit www.trybooking.com/CPWEX.

St John Ambulance

Replaces Coogee Courtyard's Stolen Defibrillator

Words Anthony Maguire

Photo Pro Heart

A heartless thief, or thieves, recently stole a defibrillator from the wall of the Coogee Courtyard restaurant/café.

Courtyard owner Dave Martin purchased the device, worth almost $3,000, a year ago.

“The lifeguards have one down at the beach, but it’s not available when they leave, so I thought it was a useful piece of equipment to have around. You never know when someone’s going to be struck down by a heart attack.”

Courtyard is an alfresco site and the defibrillator was accessible 24 hours a day. On the morning of Monday, March 11, Mr Martin arrived to find it missing.

“It made me doubt the goodness of humanity,” he said.

After he posted online about the theft, St John Ambulance came to the rescue and presented him with a replacement. And now a grateful Mr Martin’s faith in his fellow-human beings has been restored… almost. He has adjusted his security cameras so they take in the defibrillator.

St John Ambulance executives Dominic Teakle and Rebecca Skeete with Dave at Courtyard.

Crime News

Words Jimmy Felon

Photos ABC News

Charges Laid Over Pedestrian Fatality

A man has been charged over the suspected hit-and-run death of Tamarama lawyer Mitch East.

Mr East, 28, was found in the middle of Fletcher Street, Tamarama unconscious and bleeding heavily in the early hours of March 17. He had severe head and chest injuries, dying at the scene despite desperate efforts to save him by paramedics and police.

A crime scene was established and police obtained CCTV footage from local homes which indicated that the driver of a white Subaru could be responsible.

Mr East was a Harvard-educated New Zealander who’d been working at the Sydney office of top-tier legal firm Arnold Bloch Leibler. He’d been residing with his partner a short distance from where he died.

Five days after the St Patrick’s Day tragedy, rideshare driver and sometime real estate agent Zisi Kokotatsios, 63, handed himself into Granville Police Station. He has been charged with a number of offences including dangerous driving causing death and using a phone while driving.

Later that same day, more than 100 swimmers from community group Bondi Salties took to the water and held a memorial swim for Mr East, who served as a lifeguard in New Zealand and loved the ocean.

Knifeman Threatened Woman

- Police

Police arrested a 30-year-old Bondi Junction man following reports he menaced a woman and demanded sex while wielding a knife.

The incident is said to have taken place at the University of NSW, where the woman is employed. Police said she “escaped without injury and reported the incident to police.” Officers arrested the man at an address in Newland Street, Bondi Junction. He was taken to Maroubra Police Station and charged with a raft of offences including threatening to inflict aggravated bodily harm with the intention to have sexual intercourse, robbery armed with an offensive weapon and stalking.

Partial Win for Bondi ‘Spy’ Bondi businessman Alexan-

der Csergo has won a major concession in his fight against an espionage charge brought by the federal government.

The case against him has been watered down so there’s no longer an accusation that he was a threat to national security.

Csergo, 56, is alleged to have sold defence and other security-sensitive information to a pair of Chinese government agents while working in Shanghai. His defence team claims it was information that was already publicly available.

He has been in Parklea Prison since Australian Federal Police swooped on his Bondi home last April. At a recent court hearing he formally pleaded not guilty and the court was told the Crown will no longer attempt to prove that the alleged reckless conduct prejudiced Australia’s national security. But bail was refused and Csergo was committed to stand trial later in the year.

Appeal for Witnesses to Alleged Bondi Assault

Police want to hear from witnesses to an alleged assault in the picnic area at the north end of Bondi Beach.

A 48-year-old man from Bondi Beach has been charged following the incident at 7.45am on Tuesday, March 5. Officers were told several bystanders intervened at the time and these witnesses are being urged to come forward. Please contact Waverley Police Station on 9369 9899 or Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.

Woman Allegedly Tried to Bite Cop

A woman from Bondi is said to have taken a drunken 170km drive to Raymond Terrace before coming to serious grief.

The 59-year-old is alleged to have rear-ended a parked car, then when the local Highway Patrol arrived at the scene, refused to get out of her vehicle.

“She struggled and took hold of the headrest of the vehicle and when police tried to remove her arm she attempted to bite the female police officer,” the Highway Patrol said in a Facebook posting.

After finally being extricated, she was taken to Raymond Terrace Police Station, where officers recorded an alcohol reading of 0.265 - more than five times the legal limit.

“The female advised police she had consumed vodka at her home in Sydney,” police said.

Hunt for Beach Perve Who Exposed Himself to Teens

Know who this fellow is? Police want to talk to him about an incident at Bondi Beach where a man exposed himself to a group of teenage boys. He is said to speak with an American accent. If you have any info, call Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.

The cops want to talk to this bloke about a beach incident.

Police established a crime scene after the tragedy.

Choose Choice

Words Jeremy Ireland Photo Mark Renton George in his prime.

I was recently asked whether it was possible for one to ‘choose happiness’. Instinctively I felt I was being set up with a trick question, and my mind started wandering back to the 1980s when English pop group Wham wore those ‘Choose Life’ T-shirts. Before I let the catchy chorus ear-worm from Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go set its musical hooks into my brain, I replied, “Well, it depends.”

The idea of achieving happiness is big business. Indeed there are countless self-help books that tell you how to do it. If you Googled ‘how to be happy’, an array of suggestions would appear - have a healthy lifestyle, manage stress, exercise, smile, get more sleep, find a career you love, build positive relationships, express gratitude... and my personal favourite, ‘enjoy yourself’. These suggestions all have one thing in common; they are all ‘doing’ suggestions, or in other words, behaviours.

Ample evidence exists that these behaviours, all of which fall under the banner of ‘positive psychology’, will increase happiness. However, rather than dipping into positivity, it’s worth going through some general steps as to what happens before we undertake any particular type of ‘positive’ behaviour. Generally, before we do something or behave in a certain way there is an emotion, and prior to that emotion is a pattern of thinking. Nine times out of ten it’s the feeling (or emotion) that we get stuck on, and if the emotion is pushing us in a negative direction it can leave us feeling down and not wanting to do anything.

Generally speaking, there are six primary emotions that affect behaviour - love, joy, surprise, anger, sadness and fear. Behind these primary emotions are secondary and even tertiary emotions. Interestingly, ‘happiness’ is listed 12th on the tertiary list and way down on the overall joyful emotions at 19th out of 24. This low ranking provides a clue, when someone comes in for counselling and says, “I don't feel happy,” or, “I just want to be happy,” there are generally other factors at play that prevent one from feeling happy. If one is not feeling happy, and that feeling is affecting one’s life, it’s important to firstly recognise the emotion and consider there could be other reasons preventing one from feeling happy.

It might help to know that ‘happiness’ is not the opposite of ‘unhappiness’; they are quite unrelated to each other. It’s also useful to know that the term ‘positive psychology’ and the study of happiness have only been around for 20 years and only really took off when self psychology and self-help books became saleable. Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of good in positive psychology, but it is super important to understand that what we are really talking about is ‘subjective well-being’. Things like contentment, fulfilment and peace of mind, and perhaps pleasure and lack of psychological distress also fit the bill. The important thing here is that when something is subjective - like happinessone person’s measure of it will be different from another’s. This means happiness is very difficult to scale in real terms.

To be told by a self-help book that you can achieve happiness by taking certain steps might be a good place to start. They will rightly suggest that feelings of hope, joy and inspiration will build a platform to happiness, but it’s worth considering the importance of personal judgement and self-evaluation by the individual as it’s only the individual who can ultimately decide what level of happiness works - not a book, a life coach, a counsellor, a psychologist or even this article.

So, does happiness matter? Well, yes, there are many benefits. Can we learn to be happy? Yeah, nah, sort of, probably yes, but it does depend as it’s circumstantial. There are some ways to start, perhaps by not confusing success with happiness, as quality and quantity are no guarentee. Another way is to start taking control, stripping things out that don’t work for you and, finally, investing time in people who are good for you. The concept of ‘choice’ is tricky; maybe instead of choosing to be happy we can strive to choose other things like humanity, justice, temperance and transcendence. Maybe a new T-shirt is in order - ‘Choose Choice!’

Jeremy Ireland is a local psychotherapist.

Have you got a question? You can get in touch with Jeremy by calling 0400 420 042.

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

Randwick News

This month I’m excited to announce that a new monthly beachside market will be launching on Sunday 5 May. The Maroubra Beach markets will feature more than 100 stalls and be the first of its kind in scale and frequency in the local area. We’ve engaged market provider Cambridge Markets to curate and produce the monthly markets which will include fresh produce, artisan food products, fashion, homewares, crafts, plants, flowers, and art. There will also be a section dedicated to vintage and recycled goods.

Throughout May we’ll be seeking community feedback on Council’s draft 2024-25 Operational Plan and Budget. This plan outlines our proposed projects and activities for the year ahead. There are a wide range of improvements and upgrades proposed, as well as programs to respond to climate change and continue tree planting to increase our canopy coverage. Have a look at Council’s Your Say Randwick website to find out what’s proposed for your suburb.

If you haven’t been to one of Council’s Saturday Circle programs at the Randwick Sustainability Hub, I encourage you to take a look. This exciting initiative provides workshops covering how to mend textiles, grow food for wildlife, fix and maintain your bike, and more!

Lastly, consider giving mum a gift that keeps on growing this Mother’s Day Sunday 12 May and join us in our Plant With Us event at Heffron Park in Maroubra. Bring your mum, your grandmother, or your friends along, and learn about plants and how they help create important habitats for our living creatures.

Councillor Philipa Veitch Mayor of Randwick

1300 722 542

randwick.nsw.gov.au

What’s On

SUN 5 MAY

MAROUBRA BEACH MARKETS

8am – 2pm

Broadarrow Reserve, Maroubra

SAT 11 MAY

SATURDAY CIRCLE

27 Munda St, Randwick

SUN 12 MAY

MOTHER’S DAY – PLANT WITH US

8.30am – 10.30am

Heffron Park, Maroubra

FRIDAY 31 MAY 11AM

Randwick Mayor Philipa Veitch

The Unreliable Guide to... Café Life

Words Nat Shepherd Photo Patti Smith

Sydney, you bloody love a café! Poms love the pub, but since moving here I’ve met far more people in cafés than in pubs, clubs, restaurants or even my own home. But not all cafés are good. Some frankly disappoint. The ideal café obviously needs perfect coffee and decent food, but it also has to have something more. A perfect café needs a good vibe.

As Dennis Denuto famously said in Rob Sitch’s iconic movie, The Castle, “It's the vibe and… aah no that’s it, it’s the vibe. I rest my case.” If you’ve been wondering what differentiates Café cool from Café crap, The Unreliable Guide is here with some tips and tricks on how to find the ultimate Café vibe.

What Makes a Café Cool?

Patti Smith, queen of cool and godmother of punk, writes a lot about cafés. In her autobiographical M Train she lists

several favourites around the world, including the “Ice Café in Sydney”. No such café exists, but in an interview she spoke about visiting Ice Street in Darlinghurst - there is a café there, so I went to check it out.

My hopes were high, but Patti’s cafe had clearly changed hands in the intervening decade. We were greeted by three grinning staff members in matching lime green ‘Amy’s Place’ t-shirts. Much of the small interior was taken up with a high plywood counter, a vast fridge of fancy juices and shelves of roasted coffee beans for sale. The remaining space was so minimal we wondered if it was takeaway only, but there were four small tables squashed in a line by the window. The coffee was lukewarm, the food uninspiring, the vibe missing - presumed dead.

Deeply disappointed, I went home and searched online. Back when Patti came to Syd-

ney her ‘Ice Café’ was actually called the Cherubini Espresso Bar. I studied an illustrated review. Organic sourdough, house-roasted coffee, cute Italian baristas, warm pink walls, quirky lights, soft cushions, free magazines, homemade pastries, a clutter of friendly tables... vibe oozing out of every pore.

Pleasure and Profit

In The Unreliable Guide’s ideal world, everyone would think the same as me and appreciate the things I value. But my ideal world is clearly not this world. In reality, multinational food chains sell rubbish processed food in a horrible environment and make a great deal of money. But one of the few things Australia agrees on is the importance of good coffee.

According to a study of over 1,370 individual Australian cafés, the main factor that influences our choice of favourite café is the consistency of their coffee’s taste, strength and quality. After that, we want convenience and quick service. Get that right and you’ll have a place that should do okay. But if you want a café that people will love loyally forever, also focus on the vibe. For a good vibe we will travel a few extra kilometres, wait in line and pay a bit more (just make sure the coffee is faultless!) But what is ‘vibe’? In a word, vibe is love; vibe comes when you care more about your customers than your bottom line.

Finally... in our chaotic world, fussing about finding the perfect café may seem trivial, but remember this: we are defined by our choices. If we accept the second rate in anything - cafés, lovers, toilet paper, governments... - we’re on a slippery slope to a world without meaning, purpose or joy. I rest my case.

Rest in peace, Cherubini.

What Is It With You People?

Words Kieran Blake - kieranblakewriter.org Photo Ava Lanche

What is it about people in the Eastern Suburbs? How are you able to provoke 100 satirical articles? You have fuelled these flippant fables in the world’s pre-eminent monthly publication since 2015 and seem determined to continue.

Perhaps it’s your doggy devotion, which led to the creation of free adult literacy classes. These classes unfortunately proved as effective as the government schools you scorn for your human offspring and failed to return public space to the public.

Poor literacy was also evident during COVID-19 lockdowns when you observed social distancing by watching others practise it, and again in the expletive-laden vitriol the canine-adjacent keyboard warriors send to the editor and to my website.

Perhaps it’s the abundance of locals who think they live in a village and identify as VIP. The unfashionably fashionable Bondi hipsters demanded their own passport, designed to keep ‘the other’ out of Bondi, but

were as successful as the rest of you who expected the CBD and South East Light Rail project to be a Westie Wall.

Alas, the Westies and their ilk continue to sully our suburbs and spoil the haven of the VIPor Very Important Pooch.

Maybe you just don’t understand satire. Just like Clovelly’s crocodiles, you’re all oversized juveniles whose alma-mater gifted you a fancy blazer and an old-boy’s network, but not an understanding of this nuanced niche. Google the term before you harass local councils, harangue our editor or hang yourself in the letters section over the Clovelly Beach congestion tax, the Waverley Cemetery luxury apartments or Centen’s new MTB trails.

Of course, your passionate fan mail could just be a sign of the times. After all, you can’t say anything these days, because some woke snowflake will take offence.

You can’t link Tony Abbott to Bra Boys and their shared determination to defend ter-

ritorial waters, because this is offensive to Bra Boys.

You can’t elucidate the paradox of paying exorbitant fees at faith-based private schools while finding morality in café cliches rather than churches.

You can’t compare dog owners at Mackenzies Bay to junkies, because junkies don’t deserve the stigma.

You can’t attack local mums for staring at their phones while their gifted child pushes another off the swing, nor compare private school pick-ups to demolition derby.

And you certainly can’t compare local lads Scott Morrison and Malcolm Turnbull, because Malcolm and Lucy saved us, while Scotty the night watchman will spend the term of his natural life in the middle of Botany Bay.

Satire relies on people taking themselves too seriously, so a heartfelt thanks to all of you who find yourselves featured in these articles, and a promise to find 100 more reasons to pay tribute to you people.

Thankfully this was never built.

Working together to get things done.

A Lesson in Collaboration

Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill - Member for Coogee Photo Ant Bridges

Collaboration is widely recognised as a key ingredient for a successful workplace. It involves a group of people working together and problem solving in order to achieve an outcome. Collaboration does not necessarily mean unanimous agreement, but it does require sharing and appreciating other people’s points of view. Sadly, and too often, the community is unhappy to observe conflictual and non-collaborative behaviour by politicians. Very recently, we have seen a wonderful example of collaboration between diverse parties culminating in the passing of important legislation in New South Wales.

In the early hours of March 22nd this year the NSW Parliament passed the Conversion Practices Ban Act 2024. The journey to outlaw this harmful practice serves as a compelling case study highlighting the pivotal role of collaboration in passing vital legislation. Gay conversion therapy, a pseudoscientific practice aimed at changing an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity, has long been a stain on the fabric of our society.

Recognising the urgency to protect the rights and well-being

of LGBTQ+ individuals, lawmakers from across the political spectrum joined forces to address this issue head-on. The collaborative effort to ban gay conversion therapy in New South Wales was driven by a coalition of activists, advocacy groups, mental health professionals, lawmakers and religious and parental groups committed to upholding human rights and dignity.

Despite ideological differences, these stakeholders shared a common goal: to eradicate a harmful practice that inflicted psychological harm and perpetuated discrimination against LGBTQ+ individuals. The legislative process was not without its challenges. Debates raged on the boundaries of religious freedom, parental rights, and the role of the state in regulating therapeutic practices. However, through robust dialogue, respectful engagement and a commitment to evidence-based policymaking, legislators were able to navigate these complexities and forge a path forward.

Crucially, collaboration extended beyond party lines, with lawmakers from different political affiliations coming together to champion the cause. While

ideological differences persisted, the shared commitment to human rights and social justice transcended partisan divides. Bipartisan support for the legislation sent a powerful message that protecting LGBTQ+ rights was not a matter of politics but a fundamental duty of good government.

The success of the Conversion Practices Ban Act 2024 underscores the transformative power of collaboration in driving legislative change. By bringing together diverse stakeholders, fostering open dialogue and prioritising the well-being of marginalised communities, lawmakers demonstrated effective leadership and stewardship of the state’s affairs. Furthermore, the collaborative approach to passing the legislation laid the groundwork for continued progress on LGBTQ+ rights in NSW. It strengthened alliances between lawmakers, advocacy groups and community organisations, paving the way for future initiatives to promote equality, diversity and inclusion.

The passing of this legislation stands as a testament to the importance of collaboration in passing vital legislation. Through collective action, lawmakers and stakeholders were able to overcome ideological differences, navigate complex challenges and enact meaningful change that advanced human rights and dignity for all. As New South Wales continues its journey toward a more just and inclusive society, collaboration will remain indispensable in shaping a future where every individual is respected, valued and free to live authentically.

I am proud to have been a part of a successful collaborative process involving many interested and sometimes opposed parties. I am especially delighted that members of the NSW Parliament worked together to pass this legislation. I know that our community here in the East expects no less.

Want to know what’s going on in your community?

Follow Dr Marjorie O’Neill MP on Instagram for the latest local news and send a DM if we can help with anything!

Alternatively, call the Coogee Electorate Office on 9398 1822 or email coogee@parliament.nsw.gov.au

Follow here

A

Kayak Drift Adventure

Words Lewis Kennedy-Hunt Bass aplenty.

After a gluttonous Christmas Day gorging on too many prawns and beers, the last thing I wanted to do on boxing day was wake up at 3am. But that’s precisely what my fellow fish obsessee and good mate Ethan had in store for us.

The details of the expedition were scarce, with Ethan vaguely telling me to “bring a kayak and pack light” as we were heading to a river a few hours north. “Oh, and if you’ve got any leftover ham or stray beers, bring them too!” His idea, despite lacking the finer details, was quite simple in substance.

We were to launch the ’yaks at a causeway to drift downriver through a series of private farms before disembarking at the next intersecting bridge some ten kilometres away. With the river being difficult to access for the average fisho, he assured me that the bass should be plentiful and that we would be in for a good day. The plan had all the right ingredients for a good adventure, so I was naturally invested, even if I was doubtful as to how we were going to get the kayaks back to the car. But it was too late for any hesitation as we pelted up the M1 through the darkness.

We arrived at our destination just as the sun was coming up, crossing the spiritedly flowing river before pulling up bank-side to get our gear sorted. With each of our kayaks laden with two rods and a bag bursting with fishing gear, water and food, they were both heavy and cumbersome - perhaps not the best craft for the sort of turbulent water we were about to encounter, although we didn’t really consider that at the time.

We launched straight down a steep embankment and into a short section of rapids that had us both bouncing through boulders and into the first pool. We set about casting lures at the structure along the edges with submerged trees and rock walls appearing to be the perfect homes for a hungry bass. We struggled for the first half an hour before finally coaxing a small bass to motor out from its snag and explode on my small surface presentation. For the next two hours it was fish after fish, with both of us yelling and cheering as our lures were continually belted off the top by the hungry fish. The odd wire fence was the only sign of human activity as we floated down the empty river, seemingly in the guts of the raw Aussie bush. It was bliss. With a handful of fish under our belts, we stopped for a bankside coffee break and marvelled at the serenity of the place, quietly happy with how the daring plan was turning out.

The sun was climbing higher by this stage and I decided to ditch the surface lure for a lightly weighted frog-imitation lure by Zman. It was perfect for skipping right up into heavy structure where the bass sit ready to ambush. My casting accuracy was becoming more refined as the day went on and I was getting into a good rhythm of plucking fish from the edge. But after getting my lure caught on a tree root I whipped the rod back and sent the lure hurtling straight back at me and into my

arm. Getting a hook lodged in my body was something that I had somehow avoided up until this point, and halfway down a river with no one around was the last place I intended it to happen. The barb of the hook was embedded deep in my skin and pulling it out would have been near impossible. After a painful, ten-minute struggle I managed to push the hook through my skin before flattening the barb and pulling it back out. The lure was effective on both fish and humans, and I wasted no time tying it back on to keep casting.

Suddenly the ominous rain clouds that had been looming all morning erupted and the thunder and lightning forced us to take refuge on the bank. After a short while we embarked on the final stretch of river, which yielded the most aggressive rapids yet. The section was twice the length of anything we had encountered, and we were unsure whether we could navigate it on a kayak specifically designed for the task, let alone an overloaded fishing kayak. I sent it down the first rapid, violently slurping downstream, desperately fighting to stay upright knowing full well that if I flipped then all of my cargo would sink to the bottom. Ethan came thundering down after me in a dramatic display, coming stupidly close to a complete yard sale of all his gear. He regathered himself in the calm pool below (to the sound of my hysterical laughter).

After a nine-hour drift, we finally made it to the bridge and ditched the kayaks on the bank, ready to make the long trek home. With over 80 fish caught and released, we were stoked with our efforts and traded banter as we walked through the 35 degree heat. Thankfully, our hike was cut short when I cheekily thumbed a passing 4wd whose driver reluctantly drove us back to the car where a few Christmas frosties awaited us in the esky. We sat in the river and drank our beers, happy as Larry.

Subject Pilot Pete Kavanagh Location Bondi Photographer Jimmy Dee

Subject Black-shouldered Kite Location Bronte Photographer Timo Lightfoot @timography11

Subject Ross Jones Relaxation Location Coogee Photographer Blake Bentley

Subject Morning People Location Bronte Photographer Jennifer Y

Subject Cleaning Up Location Bondi Photographer Wil Larcombe @willarcombe

Time is of the essence.

Asian Braised Beef and Noodles

Words Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine

If you appreciate a simply executed recipe that delivers on flavour, this Asian braised beef with rice noodles should tick all the boxes.

Preparing the beef and adding the tried and tested aromatic Asian ingredients is all it takes - and time of course, mainly to break down the beef and develop the flavours that are going to enhance the silky rice noodles.

The recipe requires whatever chilli you can tolerate, as well as some refreshing lime at the end. Before you serve, for extra taste and layering, add fresh coriander, chilli, spring onion and toasted sesame seeds. This recipe serves six hungry punters.

Ingredients

500gm thin rice noodles

1.8 kg chuck steak, cut into a large dice

1/3 cup plain flour

1 tbs extra virgin olive oil

1 tsp sesame oil

3 cloves garlic, crushed

7cm piece fresh ginger, skin removed, grated

1 star anise

¼ cup soy sauce

⅓ cup oyster sauce

1 tsp ground Sichuan peppercorns

½ cup Shaoxing wine (Chinese cooking wine)

1 cup beef bone broth (or stock)

1½ cups water

1 tbs brown sugar

1 stick celery, finely sliced on the diagonal

1½ cups snowpeas, string removed

4 spring onion, finely sliced (reserve ½ for garnish)

2 long red chilli, finely chopped (reserve ½ for garnish)

1 bunch coriander, chopped (reserve for garnish)

1 tbs sesame seeds, toasted in a dry pan (reserve for garnish)

1 lime, quartered for serving

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 150℃, fan forced.

2. Add the plain flour to the diced beef to coat before cooking.

3. In a large crockpot or heavy based saucepan set to medium

heat on the stove, add the olive oil and sesame oil.

4. In batches, add the beef to the pot and sear lightly on all sides. Remove from the pot and set aside.

5. To the residual oil in the pot, add the garlic and ginger and stir for a minute, ensuring the garlic does not burn.

6. Then add the star anise, soy sauce, oyster sauce, Sichuan peppercorns, Shaoxing wine, beef bone broth, water and brown sugar. Stir well for a minute to combine all ingredients.

7. Add the celery, half the red chilli and half the spring onion.

8. Add the beef back to the pot and bring to the boil.

9. Place the lid on the pot and transfer to the hot oven. Allow the beef to braise in the oven for approximately 2-3 hours or until the meat is broken down and easily comes apart with a fork.

10. Remove the pot from the oven and set aside. Add the snowpeas and stir gently through the beef.

11. To cook the rice noodles, bring a large pot of water to the boil then add the rice noodles and break up gently. Cook for 2 minutes and ensure the noodles are nicely separated. Remove from the heat and strain the noodles.

12. You can either add the noodles to the beef and combine in the pot, or serve them in a dish separately. You can use or reserve as much of the braising liquid as you wish.

13. Add the rest of the chilli, spring onion, coriander, toasted sesame seeds and wedges of lime to serve.

Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.

The Beast Supercross

ACROSS

1. Formerly known as Marky Mark (4,8)

7. Origin (7)

8. Swedish pop group (4)

9. Greet from a distance (4)

11. Abbreviated cooling system (1,1)

12. Fourth longest river in Australia (7)

14. Her wedding was an Australian movie classic (6)

16. Same in quantity, size or value (5)

18. Beam (6)

20. Cake usually containing layers (7)

21. Insanity (6)

23. ... & Hyde (6)

DOWN

1. Married to Prince Harry (6,6)

2. Bitterness or resentfulness (7)

Trivial Trivia

3. Clean (4)

4. One who entertains (4)

5. Scald in boiling water for a short time (6)

6. Dish with a browned crust of breadcrumbs or cheese (6)

10. Reaction to foreign substances by immune system (7)

11. Free someone from a criminal charge (6)

13. A soothing song to quiet children (7)

15. Acronym for set of technology tools used to transmit, store and create information (1,1,1)

17. A minute area of illumination on a display screen (5)

19. A sum of money saved (4)

22. Joint, mutual (2)

1. What is the name of the newly appointed Governor-General?

2. Which road in Australia is the world’s largest war memorial?

3. What does the acronym BAU commonly stand for?

4. What are animals that eat both meat and plants called?

5. What is the largest internal organ in the human body?

6. Where does Winnie-thePooh live?

7. Cheddar cheese is named after a village in which country?

8. Which four-time grand slam champion lost in the opening round of the 2024 Australian Tennis Open?

9 Who won Best Actor at the 2024 Academy Awards?

10. The word emoji originated in which country?

Words Lisa Anderson Photo John Sandow

Boy Kills World

Genre Action, Thriller

Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador

Expect carnage and bloody bedlam aplenty in writer-director Moritz Mohr’s (Akumi) feature film debut Boy Kills World. His strikingly stylised and deranged gore fest, in the vein of Sam Raimi’s Army Of Darkness or The Evil Dead, is co-written with Arend Remmers (Snowflake) and has a no-holds-barred element to the extreme and humorously inventive body count.

When a young boy is traumatised after witnessing an atrocious event that leaves him orphaned, deaf and mute, he is taken in by a reclusive shaman (Yayan Ruhian) who becomes his martial arts mentor. When ‘Boy’ becomes an adult (Bill Skarsgard), he realises the time has come for him to extract bloody vengeance, which escalates into a montage of exuberant chaos.

Boy Kills World is for those of us who like their carnage tongue-in-cheek. It definitely won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s definitely mine, and with Skarsgard’s droll inner voice adding another layer of absurdity, it becomes a kooky, fun-filled rollercoaster ride of over-the-top mayhem.

BEYONCE

COWBOY CARTER

Label Parkwood/Columbia Reviewer @aldothewriter

Rating 

I have never been brave enough to review a Beyonce album until now. I feared my indifference to her music would incite a swarm of Beyhive Beyhadists to rip me apart, limb by limb, in a series of highly energetic, choreographed assaults. ‘Crazy Right Now’ should not be the soundtrack to anyone’s death, but COWBOY CARTER wouldn’t be so bad. I don’t think anyone deserves to be as glorified as Beyonce is, but I must give credit where it is due, and this is a great album. Now I will crawl back into my cave and pray I haven’t just signed my death warrant.

FAYE WEBSTER

Underdressed at the Symphony

Label Secretly Canadian Reviewer @aldothewriter

Rating 

There are shades of Arctic Monkeys’ album Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino here, but without the obnoxious intellectualism, and thus it strangely lacks the energy and charisma. Does one need to be a bit of an arrogant twat to truly excel? It sure does help at times. There is enough here to keep true fans invested, but, for the casual listener, you’re more likely to slip into a self-indulgent maudlin funk if you listen to the whole thing at once. Maybe just start with one or two tracks. There’s no need to have the fries with this burger, you’ll be plenty full as it is.

KITA ALEXANDER

Young in Love

Label WM Australia Reviewer @aldothewriter

Rating 

It’s easy to get swept up in the doom and gloom of international wars and things like salt and vinegar crisps suddenly having a luxury-item price tag, but Kita Alexander feels like a cooling breeze as the world burns. We all need more of this kind, floaty, sweet pop-folk in our lives. It’s therapeutic in the sense that it’s a timely reminder there are still things like butterflies, flowers and warm autumn afternoons with cooling ocean swims in the world. Slip off your shoes and forget your burdens for 32 minutes. Don’t worry, they’ll still be there when you’re done.

Beardy from Hell

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22

You could do better than your current squeeze, but there are some crazy people out there; safer to stick with the devil you know.

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22

You’re a likely candidate for a ‘code brown’ this month, so make sure there’s always a dunny within diving distance.

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23

Star Signs

Visions Beardy from Hell

Unless you take preventative measures very soon, your entire existence will be replaced by artificial intelligence.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23

When you clean out your wardrobe, be careful not to throw anything away that you may want to wear in 20 years’ time.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22

The more you push, the less likely you are to get your way, so just sit bit back, relax and let everything go to shit.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21

It’s so expensive here that you’ll actually be better off financially spending a few weeks overseas, even after paying for flights.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20

Your ‘cool business idea’ would be good if it had the potential to generate some form of income, which it doesn’t, so let it go.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19

Catch public transport to and from work for a week to remind yourself why you should never sell your car.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20

Everyone has a rich mate who claims to be under ‘financial pressure’. Make them aware of how selfish and out of touch they are.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20

Your entire existence revolves around income generation. Start spending at least an hour each week doing something you enjoy.

incredible showroom and broad range with made-to-order headboards and beds