BEAST The
October 2021
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Rights and Responsibilities Words James Hutton @thebeastmag Welcome to the October 2021 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s beaches of the east. The NSW government finally has a plan to open up as vaccination levels increase - a good thing in principle - but the US, UK and Israeli experiences don’t fill me with confidence. Our public health system may not have the capacity to cope as case numbers increase, and I worry that anyone with a weak immune system will get left behind while everyone else enjoys their freedoms. As much as we value our rights, we also have a responsibility to look after vulnerable people. Let’s not become America. Having said that, continuing on the current trajectory
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will see a combination of mass bankruptcies and a burgeoning national debt that the next generation of taxpayers will have to service. I’m glad I’m not a politician! St Catherine’s School student and Bronte resident Anouk is our local artist this month. I thought her snorkelling selfportrait would make the perfect cover for our October edition, with the weather improving and everyone getting back in the water. I’m stoked with the increasing involvement of our local schools in the magazine. The standard of education in our local area is unrivalled just about anywhere in the world and we’re lucky to have them on our doorstep. Enjoy the read! Cheers, James
The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editor james@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au Rates and Specs thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 60,000 copies are delivered every month; 57,500 are placed in mailboxes and 2,500 in local shops. PEFC Certified The Beast uses paper from sustainably managed forests. Letters to the Editor Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and the suburb you live in.
CONTENTS October 2021 Issue 201
4 Welcome Note
32 Unreliable Guide
43 Bandage
6 Pearls of Wisdom
34 Kieran's Satire
44 Dana's Recipe
8 Monthly Mailbag
35 Tide Chart
46 More Local Photos
18 Local Artist
36 Money Matters
48 Beast Reviews
20 Local News
38 Marj's Musings
49 Brainteasers
28 Local Photos
40 Dave's Diary
50 Beardy from Hell
30 Police News
42 Headnoise
50 Trivia Solutions
Mario and Perth, by Mark Hunter @bondihunter.
A picture of health.
Big Business Hypocrisy Hard to Swallow Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Hugh Jarse Who the hell is governing Australia? It’s not the elected prime minister, who instead of spending precious time on all things COVID has been squandering it in parliament gazing lovingly at Barnaby Joyce as he enlightens cabinet on his plan to “do good for the planet” by channelling The Fat Controller and building an inland rail line from Melbourne to Brisbane. While COVID runs rampant in NSW and Morrison dreams of a family holiday riding freight trains between the two capital cities, who is at the helm? If one is to believe the Australian Financial Review and Murdoch press, one could easily assume that it is big business taking up the PM’s slack and setting the course for our nation; unelected pariahs who, in a full-page newspaper 6 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
advertisement, have demanded that the federal government stick to the COVID National Plan… or else! In the advertisement, published in September, the CEOs of eighty large companies threaten the government in a so-called “open letter from the business community”, referring to Australia’s “juggling… mental health emergency” and demanding the government “give people something to hope for… look forward to… plan around”. Unlike small-to-medium business that has greatly suffered during lockdown, big business has gone from strength to strength, perversely benefiting from COVID with massive stock market gains (and Jobkeeper rorting), yet they keep whinging like spoilt brats about the looming financial armageddon that
will consume us all if we don’t give in to their whims. Big business has never cared about “people” nor “mental health”, unless giving “people something to look forward to” is interpreted as maxing out the credit card at a Stockland owned mall or racking up a huge mortgage on a Mirvac home. Westpac, NAB and Commonwealth Bank have given zero consideration to their customers’ mental health, actively pushing back against the findings of the Banking Royal Commission by eschewing regulations that would have benefited the “people” they pretend to care about. BUPA’s aged care facilities have frequently failed mandated standards, despite receiving half a billion bucks a year in government funding - they really know how to give “people something to look forward to” in old age - scabies, neglect and malnutrition. And COVID must be a real bummer for a struggling Telstra, no longer able to utilise the cheap labour of overseas call centres. Their CEO can take heart in giving Telstra workers “something to plan around” by announcing 1,400 job cuts, thereby adding to Australia’s “mental health emergency” (let us not forget the 8,000 job cuts in 2018 and the disconnection of my 91-year-old friend’s phone line during lockdown). In reply to the eighty CEOs (an open letter from Pearlie B) - the world doesn’t revolve around your million-dollar bonuses; cut the hypocrisy and the fake concern, stop acting like toddlers and learn some bloody resilience. What do you intend doing if the agreed roadmap out of COVID is not followed? Storm the parliament, in a coup d’état? I’m sure Clive Palmer would be a willing caretaker prime minister. Pearl xx
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The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The Vaccinated People of the Eastern Suburbs COVID-19 in The East MYOPIC CARROTS, DEFICIENT STICKS In the September edition of The Beast, Dave Sharma addresses the federal government’s plan to exit lockdowns (Planning Ahead: A Four-Phase Path to Freedom, The Beast, September 2021). Scott Morrison has also begun spruiking this plan during his press conferences. Plainly, the plan is myopic and will not satisfactorily achieve its stated aims. The 70 per cent of eligible Australians who are fully vaccinated entirely excludes children aged between 0-16 years, who are not vaccinated and not eligible for vaccination. Morrison proposes that if this cohort gets infected by COVID-19 our hospitals can cope with the projected patient loadings. He says that Australians should learn to live with the consequences of COVID-19 including, but not mentioned, death. The government, in the meantime, has made no provision to lower the age of vaccine eligibility or to source a vaccine suitable for this cohort. It is premature therefore to open the economy without having firstly reduced the risk of infection for this cohort. Otherwise, we could be pushing passengers out of an aeroplane without a parachute. The carrot in this plan is that life will return to normal and there will be an end to lockdowns. However, there is no proposal to introduce rapid testing for COVID-19, despite evidence of numerous asymptomatic patients released after 14 days’ quarantine. There is no proposal for purpose-built quarantine facilities or to improve quarantine protocols, despite the numerous breaches of hotel quarantine and the likelihood of undetected, infectious inbound travellers. No one can observe the
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reasons for the Delta strain spreading rapidly from Sydney into the rest of Australia and suggest that self-isolation at home for 14 days would be a sufficient form of quarantine. The plan is deficient. Can the plan return us to normal? Until children are vaccinated it would be ill-advised to travel to any overseas country that does not observe quarantine and vaccination standards similar to Australia’s, so travel destinations for adults with children will be severely restricted. There will be travel restrictions within Australia until pockets with vaccine hesitants or Indigenous communities with low vaccination rates and secondary diseases catch up. So, again, the plan is jumping the gun. Finally, can we trust Scott Morrison to deliver on his plan? His record with vaccine delivery, Afghan translators left stranded in Afghanistan and returning Australian citizens left stranded overseas speaks for itself. Regards, Steve Barker Bronte VACCINATION Australians, we are in Dire Straits, let’s be Brothers in Arms and get vaccinated against the silent enemy. Doug Bronte PANDEMIC OR ENDEMIC? For the safety of us all, we need to be vaccinated! Lockdowns should go away when vaccination rates are around the majority so we can go back to work, see our families and enjoy parties, weddings and a normal existence. Exaggerated fear of AstraZeneca is hindering the process, but there is a risk in any medical procedure
and benefits far outweigh the risks. The symptoms from catching COVID after vaccination have been described as the mildest of summer colds. There is no guarantee on life, and death is part of it, with many other causes out there. If the government could put the money spent on lockdown benefits into upgrading the hospital system, we could have the security of a superior medical system that could handle any new virus that may arise - and they will. Then we can get on with our lives, with COVID existing as an endemic, not a pandemic. If all sides of government could pull together and stop criticising each other, we could get there even quicker. Regards, Georgie Bronte LOCKDOWN’S DOUBLE IRONY As Gold Standard Gladys’ lockdown moves on, the Australian Retailers Association estimates the weekly cost for the economy to be $1.5 billion. This will hit small business owners where it hurts. Here comes irony number one... More than others, small businesses tend to fall for the idea that the Liberal Party supports them. It doesn’t - it supports big business. In part, their support for the Liberal Party made Gladys possible. Since Gladys’ “weak-on-the-virus” approach got the Coronavirus into Sydney, it keeps spreading and lockdowns keep extending. Ironically, this will hit even those small business owners who voted for Gladys. And here comes irony number two... Some of the very same small business owners also voted for Scomo. For months, PR man Scotty has failed to secure enough Pfizer vaccines while sitting on his hands. As Muhammad Ali might have said, “If you fight with your hands in your pockets, you go down.” The Liberal Party’s double screw up will knock out even those who are supporting the Liberal Party. Yet, as long as small business owners can be kept in the mythical hallucination that the party supports them, the double irony will work its way ever deeper into their small businesses, causing miseries and bankruptcies. Ironically, it comes from the very Liberal Party they vote for. Thomas Klikauer Locked-down Coogee
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WHERE'S KATE? Re: the escalating NSW plague, I believe Michael Daley was cheated out of the last NSW election. The Fairfax Press had been newly acquired by Fox buddies Channel 9 with scant publicity (I don’t think most people are aware of this fact, even now), and The Sydney Morning Herald editorial the day before the election urged voters to give Gladys a chance. She had only got to be premier because of the resignation of Michael Baird, the editor reasoned, and deserved to be given a chance under her own steam to see what she could achieve. For a long time now, undecided, uninterested or ignorant voters have been checking out - and following - The Herald’s Friday selection on the grounds that they believed it to be “Independent. Always.” - i.e. fair and impartial. Question: If Michael Daley had won the last NSW election, and if voters realised they were voting for a Fox Trojan Horse, would he have done what Gladys did with the minor COVID outbreak - nothing at all for 11 days and then institute a Clayton’s lockdown? Or, would he have done what other (Labor) premiers have done and hit immediately and hard? Another question: Did Gladys hesitate to act appropriately because she feared reprisals (perhaps being thrown into Sydney Harbour in a chaff bag) from Alan Jones and the Fox people, or because our Fearless Leader asked her not to do anything drastic? After all, he had mocked and viciously attacked Labor premiers, particularly Dan Andrews, for their lockdowns. We knew where he stood. It is cruel irony that Dan Andrews’ two latest lockdowns are due to Gladys’ prolonged hesitation. I wonder if some intrepid Fox journalist (sorry those three words express a triple contradiction in terms, but you know what I mean) would do a Kate McClymont-like investigation of these questions and provide the answers in due course? Pamela Young Maroubra WEIGHTLIFTING NEXT TO A PLAYGROUND The Delta virus spreads in open-air settings too! I thought politicians had finally woken up to that welldocumented fact when, at long last, the mandatory wearing of face masks came into force.
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It appalls me to see grown men not taking notice - despite their overdeveloped muscles they should have some sense. Every time I walk past the park in Ebley Street, Bondi Junction, there are groups of them 2.5 metres from the perimeter of the playground (I have measured this) on the corner of Ebley and Newland Streets - well supplied with weightlifting gear, as you can see! All those forcefully expelled droplets generated by their exertions lift into the air and drift up to 10 metres away, where they can hover for hours. Council should cordon off this area and advise the owners of the gym on the other side of the street to take their equipment further away into the park. I’m not sure if Bondi Junction is part of the area of responsibility of Dr Marjorie O’Neill, the MP for Coogee, but if not, could I ask you to forward this message plus photo below to the right person? I think it is a matter that needs urgent attention. Kerstin Thorn-Seshold Bondi Junction EQUAL RIGHTS, I MEAN "SIGHTS", FOR ALL With the COVID lockdown, young women are on the streets exercising their bodies and also their right to wear highly revealing activewear. I propose men do the same thing. We’re all equal after all, aren’t we? I’m tired of seeing camel toe. How about a bit of camel tail? And, gentlemen, don’t forget to be just as outraged if a woman stares at your groin. Bored on my balcony, Coleen Blomkamp Bondi Beach PANDEMIC OVER! I took a ride down to Bondi Beach this morning and was super pleased to see that there is no pandemic, there is no lockdown and there are no health orders. Woohoo! Gavin Kleinhans Bondi Beach Local Development Applications COOGEE BAY HOTEL DEVELOPMENT APPLICATION Dear Sir/Madam - I would like to support the DA for this site (Coogee Bay Hotel Lodges Development Application, The Beast, September 2021). I am a local resident. My family use the shopping centre regularly, as well as the adjoining
beachfront. I understand submissions are accepted up to August 26. My contact details are below. The Coogee Bay Road commercial centre requires a major facelift. Council has done an excellent job with its streetscape improvements, however the building stock is old, rundown, disjointed and dilapidated. The proposal to upgrade the hotel site will bring more choice, vitality and aesthetic benefits. The proposed restaurants, cafes and supermarket will benefit the local community and visitors in many ways. It will help to upgrade some existing businesses, especially the dysfunctional Woolworths shopping mall. The additional residences will increase vitality, safety and the late night economy. Council can use a VPA (developer contributions) for capital and in kind contributions for further streetscape improvements and public areas upgrade. It could also add some public art in prominent locations. The proposal represents urban renewal and revitalisation and should be supported. It is transformative and has vision. This central part of Coogee is a tarnished jewel that requires some fixing and polishing. Best, Stephen Bargwanna Coogee CBH DEVELOPMENT WORSE THAN IT SOUNDS Under the proposed development the Coogee Bay Hotel site will be subdivided and this has created some confusion over how much it will exceed existing planning limits. To be clear, the area designated as heritage listed will approximately be halved, the floor space ratio for the larger Western Lot will be 2.24:1 - or roughly a 50 per cent increase on existing planning limits (not a 19 per cent increase) - and Coogee Bay Road will have six stories on the Western Lot side of the road and two stories on the other side of the road. This is where the more than doubling of the height planning limits really kicks in and Coogee Village becomes lopsided. In The Beast’s recent article (Coogee Bay Hotel Lodges Development Application, The Beast, September 2021), a spokesperson for the developers said, “At the end of the day, whatever DA goes in, it will always be controversial.” However, I think it is safe to say there would
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be more acceptance if the proposed development conformed to existing planning rules. Michael Olive Coogee THERE IS AN ASSOCIATION... To answer SN & PYR (A Tale of Tree, Letters, The Beast, September 2021), the first part of the story - while the timing of the removal is questionable, if you wanted to check whether there was a tree permit it would have been better to call at least one of the Bondi Ward Councillors whose phone numbers are on the Council website. Second part of the story - I’m not sure how you missed it, but Bondi Beach Precinct fought this development for almost two years, including the removal of the trees. We had public meetings outside the post office, which were attended by security guards called in by the developer, as well as the police. We had online petitions, we made videos of notable and other locals objecting, we put up banners and distributed leaflets, we had the matter raised in parliament and we attended the Land and Environment Court hearings to make our case. The whole sorry saga was predicated on a non-transparent and undemocratic process, a privatisation process by government for one of ‘the boys’. We know that in 2016, without any tender process, Australia Post entered into an agreement with Jamie Nemtsas for a $10 million option to purchase the post office, a public building on Commonwealth land that had been in operation for almost 100 years. Mr Nemtsas then onsold the post office to North Sydney based construction company Taylors for a reported $15 million, making a personal profit of $5 million. The legal protections through obligations under the Heritage Act, that existed while the post office was owned by Australia Post, were sacrificed when the (second) $15 million option was taken up by Taylors before any DA approval. Taylors gambled $15 million on a favourable outcome, which they subsequently got. So, yes, there is a resident group, Bondi Beach Precinct, who have been fighting for our beach and suburb for many, many years, with some wins and some losses, particularly against developers. You should always get a bright yellow DL in your letterbox the week be-
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fore our meetings. We are currently Zooming. Details are also on the Council website. Our FB page is facebook.com/ Bondi.beach.precinct.residents. group. You can also see a lot of what we have done on our old FB page at facebook.com/bondi.beach.precinct. Lenore Kulakauskas Co-Convenor Bondi Beach Precinct Bondi Beach IS NOTHING SACRED? I have no words (War Memorial Hospital Development Proposal Sparks Concerns, The Beast, September 2021). Living down the road from this beautiful historic building, and spending time in the serene grounds with those stunning and significant trees - planted with love and purpose so long ago - is a privilege afforded to locals and visitors alike, as well as being therapeutic to patients and staff. Is nothing sacred? Why can’t we, in the year 2021, preserve and enhance our history? I’m so angered by the money hungry and power crazy decision makers who ignore the residents and local community, especially during the current pandemic - unbelievably inept and stupid humans! Thank you for the great article. How do we sign the petition? What else can the community do to help fix this monumental bad decision? Dee Waverley VALUING HERITAGE I was a student nurse at War Memorial in 1979 and would think that any planning to extend aged care capacity must protect the beautiful heritage buildings I fondly remember. Janene Mudgee Local Government Issues WAVERLEY CEMETERY HENRY LAWSON To the Editor - As I walk through Waverley Cemetery, I often wonder who manages it and what those who have chosen it for their resting place expect of it. They obviously don’t not have a voice in the matter, except perhaps Henry Lawson; He only said, 'Beyond the grave you'll cop it hot, by Jove! A Derry on a Cove, 1894 As he is the cemetery’s most famous resident, a sign has been erected to direct visitors to his
grave. While I know the bard was not an outstanding citizen in life, one must ask if this decrepit sign was a reflection of him or a reflection of the standard of management of the facility. It has obviously been there so long that it must now be listed as an historic artifact by the National Trust. With the 100th anniversary of Lawson’s internment coming up next year, I hope management might afford at least some antirust treatment for the painted over traffic sign to preserve it and/or a new post before it falls over. I was surprised the sign was not replaced when someone was good enough to remove a plaque placed on the grave, by the mayor of the time, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Henry’s death. It gave one the distinct impression that its only purpose was to give the mayor an opportunity to deposit his name in an historic place. The brooding ghosts of Australian night have gone from the bush and town; My spirit revives in the morning breeze, though it died when the sun went down; The river is high and the stream is strong, and the grass is green and tall, And I fain would think that this world of ours is a good world after all. After All, 1903 Regards, Andrew Goldfinch Bondi Junction KITCHEN CADDY BINS Dear Ed - A big thumbs up for Randwick Council’s recent introduction of the kitchen caddy for disposal of food scraps that can be placed in the green recycle bins. And a big thumbs down for whoever designed the biodegradable liner bags that are a tad too small and don’t fit properly, as well as tearing easily. You’d think someone would have checked the durability before distribution. John Swanton Coogee THE COUNCIL ISN’T YOUR DADDY To Alexa from North Bondi (Disrespectful Dog Owners, Letters, The Beast, September 2021) - Two things... Firstly, I’m a dog owner and lover. Secondly, it’s shitty that
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you had to deal with dogs annoying you. I’m on your side in so far as those dog owners were in the wrong (swimming and off leash in no dog areas), but why immediately reach for Council to save you? The very nature of this publication is community. When did we all become petulant whingers that expect Council or Gladys or ScoMo to save our souls and deal with all our woes? Dogs, parks, people on the street, driving behaviour… the regular monthly contents of these very pages! When did we lose sight of participating in our own community? Since when are we unable to speak to our neighbours and call them out on their shitty behaviour? The very basis of good relationships is honest and open communication - good, bad or otherwise. Council rules and enforcements are good for when we need them, which should be almost never. If we rely on the government to help us at the tiny turns, it’s a slippery slope. Be a person, be a neighbour, be a participant in society first and have your own conversation. Ryan Bondi BRONTE CUTTING During a recent walk along the beach I idly wondered just how much Waverley Council had spent on Bronte Cutting upgrades. Was it $2 million, $5 million or even $10 million? With the many changes over the past few years my memory has dimmed, but I seem to recollect that some five or so years ago a barrier was installed and then, soon after, dismantled. This was followed by car spacing with each individual parking spot carefully numbered. Pay stations were also strategically put in place. Not long after, it was decided that sensors, accompanied by an elaborate electronic board, would answer any problems. The censors were duly placed in every parking spot. It seemed only a matter of weeks before the electric board (which nobody looked at anyway) was dismantled and the glass sensors filled in. And, for some reason, all the numbers were renumbered. In a good move, and in response to many comments (and complaints) from the public, Council installed a designated pedestrian walk. We were told that this was a
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temporary measure. A number of parking spots were sacrificed and plastic posts put in place. Now, once again, the cutting is a hive of activity. Many workers, using heavy earthmoving equipment, have installed new guttering, footpaths, etc. Huge trucks have been employed to remove rubble and earth. Bronte Cutting is, hopefully, getting its final upgrade. Robert Sharpe Bronte The Beast's Double Century CONGRATULATIONS Hi James - Congratulations on achieving 200 editions. I enjoy the The Beast as it has local news plus, in my opinion, a balanced content. As a senior, I doubt I will be around to enjoy the next 200 editions but look forward to many more in the meantime. Keep up the good work. Regards, Ian Smith Eastern Beaches 200 ISSUES Dear Editor - Congratulations to The Beast for achieving your 200th issue. That is a remarkable achievement, over how many years, 17? I had my doubts about The Beast in its early years. However, one day when I was on the Coogee foreshore prom, one of the “Beastly Boys” stopped and had a chat. I was there with other Coogee residents petitioning against overdevelopment (www.keepcoogeeavillage. com). He signed the petition and wished us well. I thought more kindly of The Beast after that, but it was not until recently that I started taking it seriously. This was when The Beast gave voice to residents’ concerns about the Berejiklian Government's plans for our bus services. It says a lot that you have survived the ongoing massacre of print media and the first lockdown and produced your 200th issue in our current dire circumstances. Well done The Beast. May you provide a voice for the community for many years to come. Rona Wade Coogee Cyclists in The East CENTENNIAL PARK EROSION DUE TO MOUNTAIN BIKES Dear Editor - I love reading The Beast, but some people do not
understand satire. Your article, I fear, has encouraged adults and let loose youths throughout the grass and wild areas off the park. They are blissfully jumping around, unaware that a condition of entry is that they remain on the paved roads. It is heartbreaking to see the soil erosion and damage to lawn and tree roots. The attitude from many I speak to is that the government will fix this up. Please could you have an editorial feature on Centennial Park, including the following: 1. Highlighting that a condition of entry is that all bikes stick to the paved roads; 2. Enlightening your readers that Centennial Park is run by a trust, and funding is not provided by the state government, and; 3. Why not make a request for donations and fundraising from all who have enjoyed the park and unknowingly created damage? Thank you for reading my message. Jen Paddington IN DEFENCE OF CYCLISTS IN CENTENNIAL PARK In ‘Adrenaline Pumpers’ (Letters, The Beast, September 2021), your correspondent attacked cyclists using the bike lane around Centennial Park, saying how he was confronted when he crossed the lane, didn't see the cyclist, assumed that he was exceeding the 30km/h speed limit and was therefore somehow at fault. The real issue, however, should be with the motor vehicles that crowd the park and curtail the ability of both pedestrians and cyclists to roam at will without one-way restrictions and use the park as intended, as a green lung. On busy days the park becomes a glorified car park, with streams of cars circling looking for a parking spot. Let’s have a debate about whether there might be a much better and more sustainable way of using the park. Why not limit car parking to properly designed parking areas, located only at the entrances to the park, signposted and showing availability of spaces. Picnic facilities could be located there as well, making litter control easier. The rest of the park could then be freed of its burden of circling vehicles. There would need to be provision for disabled access to parts of the park and limited access for deliveries, but otherwise people would
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Issue 201 October 2021 The Beast 15
have to park and walk. I know that is a radical concept, but the ‘first Sunday’ closure of the park to cars shows how wonderful the core of the park could be all of the time if it were free of vehicles. Maybe then we could see the end of the constant animosity towards cyclists, who are only enjoying the very limited opportunities that Sydney offers for safe riding. Simon Bartlett Coogee A POTENTIAL SOLUTION Dear James - Regarding the letter about bicycle maniacs (Adrenaline Pumpers, Letters, The Beast, September 2021), having spent decades as the consumer rep on Australian standards committees (sunscreens, sunglasses, plastics for food contact, etc.), I have a suggestion for a standard to meet the anxieties of your readers facing adrenaline boosted cyclists... AS xyz draft. Trekking sticks; alternate use; bicycle stopper [replaces earlier provisional standard, umbrellas, bike stopping, for the use of]. When inserted between the spokes of a bicycle using the WWI trench departing bayonet stance, the device must be capable of holding or breaking the spokes that follow (depending on bike speed), while maintaining 95 per cent structural integrity (7 per cent bending acceptable). Once used, the device must be labelled with the number of “incidents”, so to warn further traditional walker-users to be aware of the incipient geometric changes to the stick. Name and address withheld to avoid possible personal structural damage Other State and Federal Politics DOCTOR, DOCTOR, GIVE ME THE NEWS James - Hope you are well mate. Please find following litany, hopefully for September’s issue, regarding Dr Marjorie Spooner O’Neill’s position on plastic. Dr O’Neill, during a notable debate with the imminent outgoing member for Coogee, Bruce NotleySmith, at the Coogee Diggers many moons ago, spooned (apologies for the pun on your middle moniker) some interesting points. The main point being, “We (the Australian Labor Party) shall ban plastic bags.”
16 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
This has been a product of our present NSW diabolical disregard for the state, let alone Dr Pacific (my fond term for the sight I have of it every time I swim at Clovelly and Coogee). It’s quite ironic Doc, with the constant outflow of said plastics. I know the present greedy, environmental terrorist Liberal Party have no interest in the above, except maybe in South Australia, and can understand that she is unable to promote this policy due to being in the opposition party, but why has she gone ominously quiet throughout her subsequent employ? I commend her community contributions, and she looks stunning in her white attire - the Anzac Day Dawn Service, for example. She also has an open, receptive rapport with people on the Coogee Beach promenade, often responding to people’s concerns, and here is where my ire begins... Is there going to be this pussy footing around with matters that really count with this party? Or do we need to exhume Hawky, a man with intestinal fortitude, to fight for these essential policies? Come on, Doc. ‘Man up!’ Now back to the turntable and weeping over lost love! Regards, William Ockham Clovelly P.S. James, I hope you are bearing up in lockdown, with suitable nourishment and imbibing elixirs! May I take this opportunity to thank you for your invaluable service to our community in producing this wonderful magazine. Miss your bro as well R.I.P. See you at the Cloey when it opens! JOINING THE DOTS Dear James - What have we learnt from the sports rorts and carparkper-vote gate? Nothing. Pork barrelling is alive and well in the Eastern Suburbs; pork barrelling for the ones who already have and not for the have-nots. Just ask Mr Dave Sharma, MP for Wentworth. He has awarded a $7.5 million federal grant to a planned private country club in White City with no public access. The Hakoah Club’s board was taken over by developers around 15 years ago, and they achieved the sale of its club building at Bondi Beach - a much prized community centre - to developers. It is now an oversized residential/commercial
building complex, with its excessive floor space ratio bypassing Waverley Local Environmental Plan controls. And, relying on existing use rights to an envelope originally permitted as a community benefit. Surely the board and developers have the funds to develop White City without the assistance of taxpayers? Is there a connection between the $7.5 million grant and the fact that a federal election is looming, especially when Sharma only narrowly won the last one? Kind regards, Boaz Magal Bronte Other Local Happenings WHAT INTERNET? Hi James - I read with interest Georgie’s letter in The Beast (What Internet?, Letters, The Beast, September 2021). I thought we might have been the only ones plagued by constant NBN outages. In a two-month period recently we had ten days with no internet at all. My internet service provider tells me that the NBN won’t send anyone out to see what’s wrong unless you have minimum six outages a day. So, five outages a day is supposed to be acceptable. I agree with Georgie. It is a total disgrace, and what makes it particularly irksome is that the NBN replaced a system that worked all the time. I have raised this issue with Dave Sharma’s office on several occasions and never heard back. I suppose that shouldn’t surprise me, given that it was his party that inflicted this stupendously costly third rate system on us. I guess I will just have to get used to hotspotting off my phone. Regards, Penny Bronte (which is in the middle of Sydney, not the Nullabor) BONDI JUNCTION CYCLEWAY Hi guys - “$240 million” it says on that sign at the lights by Syd Einfeld Drive and Old South Head Road. $240 million? Surely they mean $24 million? I’m sure you could buy a lot of traffic calmers, speed bumps and street furniture for $240 million, with some trees thrown in I bet. Having cycled on the Bondi Junction Cycleway, the one thing it is not is the provision of a facility for cycling, unless the number of cyclists is one or two perhaps trav-
elling in the same direction, as long as they are separated by one hundred yards and can avoid parents teaching their infants to cycle in the most inappropriate place they could find (other than the middle of the road). $240 million? Please, say it isn’t so. Gareth Davies Bellevue Hill LEAF BLOWERS Dear James - Awareness of careful water use has seen hosing down driveways and garden paving replaced by clean-ups with leaf blowers. Council even blows sand from the beach promenades. Machines are often the noisy ones, not quieter electrically powered technology. In these COVID days when many people are working from home, sensitivities to loud, intrusive daytime noises are heightened. Waverley is a densely built up area where sound is amplified as it bounces around all the masonry surfaces. Many flats and multi-unit developments employ garden maintenance contractors who work during normal daytime hours, often using blowers to clean up. Could battery powered machines be encouraged more? Or, even better, let’s bring back the humble broom! Yours faithfully, Mora Main Waverley BEAUTIFUL COASTAL WALKS I spent the first 28 years of my life living in the Eastern Suburbs and the next 33 years in Melbourne. I have now returned to Sydney and I marvel at the magnificent scenery every day. I walk the coastal walks with my husband and Cocker Spaniel Maya nearly every day now and the blueness of the sky and turquoise water are so breathtaking. I had forgotten how special these coastal walks were and I will always appreciate this beautiful scenery. Rachel Copolov Randwick REPLY TO ROSS FROM RANDWICK This is in reply to Ross from Randwick (Randwick Ritz Reply, Letters, The Beast, September 2021), who also seems to have a problem with The Ritz refusing to take cash. Get over yourself Ross! The Ritz is a business like any other, and is therefore entitled to run it however it sees fit.
18 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
I fail to see how taking credit/ debit card payments instead of cash is a cost saving venture, as any card transaction will typically incur a surcharge from the bank. If they wanted to save money, they would instead be cash only, as those payments can be hidden from banks and governments alike (I don’t recommend any businesses do this, mind you). And, yes, I operate on the assumption that the virus can spread on any surface, which is why I use hand sanitizer while out and wash my hands thoroughly when I get home. Working in retail, I have seen many people lick their fingers before handing me cash to purchase their items, and every time I have to sanitise that cash while worrying that they may have passed something along in their saliva. Let’s face it, a lot of people have very poor hygiene. So, once again, I commend The Randwick Ritz on running its business its way and not pandering to those who do not care about the health and safety of others. I guarantee you, Ross, that your patronage (or lack thereof) does not affect The Randwick Ritz in the slightest. Emma Bondi Local Poetry LOCKDOWN POEM Sunrise. Waves refract. Cloud cover is lineated. It's special. Take notice. Count them. Six. New Breath. Dismiss alarm. Feeling flat. Berocca bubbles. Sparkles on teeth. Wings clap. Sunrises. It's a new lockdown day. What will become? Sunrise cloud covers. Gone is the sun. The sky is grey. Soft light covers. Sun is swallowed. Birds fly. I plan my great escape. Sun returns. Breaks through the clouds. New day. Day 28 or 33? Edward Dostine Bondi Beach JUST A PASSING PHASE I dreamt that Lockdown was just a passing phase, We all caught up and felt so free but my mind was still in a daze, I eventually recovered as there was lots to cover, We continued our conversation as we did discover, That we can now travel anywhere since we have passed first base. Graeme Bogan Bondi Junction ¢
Local Artist: Anouk from Bronte Interview James Hutton This month’s cool cover art was painted by Bronte’s talented Anouk, who is a student at St Catherine’s School in Waverley. Anouk shares a few of her favourite things with The Beast... What is your favourite beach? North Bondi. What is the best thing about where you live? I have lots of friends on my street. What do you love about art? You can make almost anything you want out of whatever you want! What is your favourite thing to do on the weekend? I like playing outside and at the beach with my friends. What do you love about your school? That all the teachers and kids there are very friendly.
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Lucas Meats 48 MacPherson Street Bronte NSW 2024 Tel: 02 9369 3867 • Fax: 02 9389 0373 • www.lucasmeats.com.au
Fresh Seafood Now available Continuing the tradition from Grandfather John Lucas (pictured at the original Lucas Fish store in Charing Cross back in 1955) Lucas Quality Meats is now selling fresh fish. Issue 201 October 2021 The Beast 19
Main photo: Boris and his cocky. Inset: His new bionic knee.
Solid Surf Not So Swell for Brave Bronte Boardrider Words Duncan Horscroft Photo Anne Droid It was one of those big winter swells that only come around once in a blue moon, an east coast low caused by an August full moon generating giant sets that pounded the Eastern Beaches for nearly a week. You could hear the screams of delight as the ballsy Bronte surfers revelled in the epic conditions. But on the last solid morning, just as the dream run of swell began to abate, ecstasy turned to agony for one of the seasoned watermen as he came unstuck in a dredging, sand-filled keg, emerging from beneath the ocean’s surface writhing in agony. William ‘Boris’ Young had just paddled out off the reef with his good mate Mitchell ‘Swamps’ Scott and wasted no time launching into one of the biggest waves of the session. Mr Scott watched as his mate took the death defying drop and moments later heard the screams. “I thought it was Boris celebrating making the wave, but I soon realised that he was 20 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
actually screaming in pain,” a somewhat shaken Mr Scott told The Beast. “Fortunately, ‘Whippet’ (Ryan Clark) was between us and I saw him paddle over and grab Boris.” A volunteer lifesaver from Bronte Surf Club was in the water nearby with a paddleboard, and what happened in those ensuing moments proved crucial in stabilising Mr Young and getting him safely to shore. “Whippet grabbed a rescue board from one of the local clubbies and put Boris on it and signalled to the lifeguards, who called a jet ski to come over from Bondi,” Mr Scott said. Former professional surfer, chef and tradesman, Perth Standlick, was also on the scene, lending his multiskilled hands to help Mr Young onto the rescue board. Mr Clark, who happens to be a Waverley lifeguard and veteran Bondi Rescue star, said that when he got close enough to Mr Young he initially
thought the experienced surfer had dislocated his knee. It was only after they got him up on the board that he realised the extent of the damage. “I saw Boris go past me and watched him pull into a low barrel, and the lip kind of pushed him into the wave,” Mr Clark explained. “To be honest, the wipeout didn’t look that bad, but when he popped up he didn’t look that good.” “One of the clubbies was there on a board and I grabbed it and put Boris on it and tried to get him to shore, but the set waves and big shore break made it almost impossible to get in and we had to paddle back out into calmer water,” Mr Clark said. Waverley lifeguards who were watching from the beach thought it was a spinal injury at first and immediately radioed for the jet ski. “When the ski arrived, we got Boris onto the mat and managed to get him into shore,” Mr Clark explained. “All his mates were waiting to help carry him up the beach, where we kept him warm while waiting for the ambulance to arrive.” Mr Young will be out of action for a long time due to the extent of his injuries, which include a smashed knee, multiple shattered bones and severe ligament damage. He also severed his peroneal nerve. He was unable to be contacted for this article due to his ongoing stay in hospital, but all our thoughts are with him and we wish him a speedy recovery. The Bronte Boardriders are organising a fundraiser for their mate, who now faces a possible three to four additional operations. Not only will he be out of the water for a long period while he recovers, but he will also be unable to work.
Empowered entrepreneurial mothers.
Local Mumpreneurs Making a Difference in Women's Health Words Nicola Smith Photo Jade Warne The hard work of two local mums to bring health and education around pregnancy and birth to women across Australia has been recognised by the 2021 AusMumpreneur awards. Former Eastside Crew trainer, Kimmy Smith, and women’s health physiotherapist, Lyz Evans, are both mums of three young kids and are well aware of the challenges that pregnancy, birth and motherhood can bring. Ms Evans said the pair started the Empowered Motherhood Program because they discovered that many prospective mums are left in the dark about healthy pregnancies and postpartum recovery. “Our main inspiration came from a desire to never hear women have to say, ‘I wish I had known’,” Ms Evans told The Beast. “There is a whole lot of information available to help prevent issues arising in the first place, but in an already stretched healthcare system the problem is actually getting this information to women. Too 22 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
many women get to the other side of motherhood wishing they had known a lot more, and we wanted to change that.” The pair met when Ms Smith, a former NSW Swifts Netballer, became a patient of Ms Evans at Women In Focus Physiotherapy after sustaining physical trauma while giving birth. “As an athlete, there were all these resources and money that went into healing an ankle sprain, but when it came to preparing and recovering from giving birth I was given so little support, just a PDF of exercises to avoid and sent on my way,” Ms Smith told The Beast. This year in Australia, 300,000 women will give birth, and over half of them will walk out with some sort of complication, whether physical or mental. A third will experience some sort of birth trauma. The Empowered Motherhood Program, which has recently launched as an app, aims to help Australian women prepare for birth and provide a pathway from pregnancy to birth to recovery.
“We’re trying to bridge the gap between what the health system currently provides to women and what they really need,” Ms Evans told The Beast. The content offered includes face-to-camera education and interviews with obstetricians, doulas and lactation specialists, as well as workout videos for each trimester and post-birth recovery and a Facebook group with a monthly Q&A. The videos target issues specific to pregnancy and birth, like pelvic floor strength and flexibility. The online format of the program allows women as far away as remote Western Australia to access the information. The program took three years to build and has been recognised in two categories of the AusMumpreneur awards, the Emerging Entrepreneur category and the Making a Difference in Health and Wellbeing category. The AusMumpreneur awards seek to recognise the efforts of mums in business across Australia. “It was just a real buzz for us that we are making a difference,” Ms Smith told The Beast. “As a mum, you don’t usually get those KPIs or a pat on the back, so it was great.” The pair now hope to reach as many mums as possible with the educational tools the program provides. “What we’d really love is for every woman in Australia to have access to this program through their health fund or hospital. $500 million is spent each year on incontinence and postnatal depression and we feel that if we can intervene earlier we can drastically change the outcomes of those conditions and also reduce the medical dollars spent,” Ms Evans said. The app has already had over 1,000 mums join the program and is available on the Apple and Android app stores.
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Issue 201 October 2021 The Beast 23
A seaweedy Coogee Beach back in 1910.
Precinct Committees Continue to Provide a Voice for the People Words Rona Wade Photo Andrew Fisher Precinct committees are a vital part of local government public consultation and open government processes going back to the early 1980s. Waverley, Woollahra and Randwick Councils all have precincts run by volunteer residents with meetings open to any person living within the precinct boundaries. The first precincts were set up in North Sydney under the enlightened leadership of Ted Mack. In 1995, Randwick Council approved 18 Precincts, with boundaries based on communities of interest and ABS Census Collection Districts. Over the years since, precincts have merged and some have dissolved. With a lot of hard work, seven precincts continue to provide a forum for local residents. These are Clovelly, Coogee Bay, Malabar, Maroubra, Matraville, Randwick and the newly established Bays and Beaches. The Coogee Bay Precinct has met monthly since its formation and regularly attracts a good roll up. We are fortunate in having excellent involvement by 24 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
local councillors, most notably Councillor Kathy Neilson (Labor, North Ward). Others who have attended include Councillors Murray Matson (Greens, East Ward), Tony Bowen (Labor, East Ward) and Lindsay Shurey (Greens, North Ward). Their attendance enables us to provide direct feedback and often they follow up on issues. The precincts receive excellent support from Council through precinct coordinators including the late Martin Ryman, Amanda Mather and Katie Kershaw, and key staff also respond to our resolutions. Successive general managers have supported us and host regular meetings of the combined executives. Some issues canvassed by the Coogee Bay Precinct include stormwater and sewerage pollution, development applications, heritage, traffic, pedestrian safety, licensed venues and alcohol, signage on the cliffs, beach maintenance, rubbish - particularly commercial rubbish - and public safety. Over the years, the
Coogee Bay Precinct has played an important role in improving the public safety and security of the Coogee foreshore parks. The key issue occupying the Coogee Bay Precinct at the moment is the proposed redevelopment of the Coogee Bay Hotel site. The precinct has lodged an objection and members are active in opposing the redevelopment in its current form (www.keepcoogeeavillage.com). The Coogee Bay Precinct has supported many local campaigns including Save Dunningham Reserve, which successfully opposed the construction of a large toilet block that would have obliterated the view to the bay from the coastal walkway, Keep Coogee a Village and Save Coogee Beach, which opposed commercial zoning of the south end of the bay. The Coogee Bay Precinct is particularly proud of its idea to create a bush garden as habitat for birds in the otherwise dusty area at the end of Neptune Street. This was in response to the rapid loss of small birds such as blue wrens and New Holland honeyeaters from the foreshore area. After a council consultation process, the precinct proposal was approved and Council planted out two large areas with suitable low growing plants. A third garden bed has now been added. Local residents play an active role as chair or secretary of the Coogee Bay Precinct. In recent years these have included Jenn Heron, Michael Richards, Maria Bradley, Martin Faulkner, Mark England, Del Buchanan, Carla and John Giannakopoulos, Ryan Elliott and the writer. We are hoping to celebrate our 25th anniversary soon and would love to hear from anyone who was involved in the early days. You can get in touch at coogeeprecinct2034@gmail.com or visit coogeeprecinct.com.
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It's not all bad.
COVID-19's Collateral Positives Words and Photo Samuel Cornell, Public Health Researcher Last year, in June 2020, as part of a survey of 1,370 Australians, researchers at the University of Sydney asked a relatively unconventional question; ‘In your life, have you experienced any positive effects from the COVID-19 pandemic?’. Participants had the option of answering yes or no. If they answered in the affirmative, they could provide a free text explanation elucidating their response further. Perhaps surprisingly, 70 per cent of respondents answered ‘yes’- they had experienced at least some element of a positive effect of the pandemic on their lives, and a further 98 per cent of that sub-sample provided an explanation as to why this was the case. The published results of this research can be found at onlinelibrary.wiley.com/ doi/10.1002/hpja.494. During the time this survey was being conducted, most of Australia was faring comparatively well at handling the COVID-19 virus, predominantly due to a policy of isolationism and a strong contact tracing system, but unfortunately Victorians were facing extended lockdowns and the hardship which comes with such solitude. 26 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
The news media was making hay while the sun shined and reporting perpetually on case numbers and the associated troubles attributable to living through a pandemic. Nevertheless, I found it heartening to find that amidst the disruption to daily life and apocalyptic rhetoric, many Australians were finding reasons to be cheerful in the face of adversity. As I pen this in September 2021, more than a year has passed since the results of the survey I am reporting. For most of that time, much of Australia was able to live with exceptional normality when compared to the rest of the globe; to the point where many Australians became apathetic about the seriousness of COVID-19 and saw no real urgency to be vaccinated when they became available. The context has changed, millions of Australians have been thrust back into COVID’s grasp and are experiencing the associated limitations of their freedoms. Although the conditions have changed, the object of the situation, the person, remains the same. Therefore, I wanted to highlight the myriad positives
that people reported last year, as an aide-mémoire to keep the valuable, hard-earned perspective in our lives and to reflect on what we want our society to value and prioritise in the aftermath of this critical juncture. The most reported positives included having more time to spend with family, enjoying greater work flexibility and experiencing a calmer life. Other major themes identified included taking up a new hobby, increased time outdoors and improved self-care. Many others reported gaining perspective on what matters to them in life, feeling a greater connection to their community and even experiencing a mental health benefit from finding more balance in their lives. Naturally, we didn’t observe an equitable distribution of positive experiences. People were much more likely to find positives if they lived with others, were employed and were working from home. Furthermore, we have recently conducted a parallel survey with participants from culturally and linguistically diverse communities in Sydney. The results aren’t yet published, but we found far fewer people experienced positives - only 23 per cent - and this was before the military was patrolling their streets. Let us count ourselves lucky in the Eastern Suburbs, but more importantly ask ourselves what we can do to make our world more positive for all - no matter the adversity. Nothing lasts. Our lives and the tribulations which we face are fleeting. It’s important to remember the ephemeral nature of our existence. This pandemic will end. But when it does, will we retain the perspective that many of us found under the testing circumstances, and will we carry forward the positives we found? The choice is ours alone.
Issue 201 October 2021 The Beast 27
Subject Focused Location Bronte Photographer Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall
Subject Peekaboo Location Centennial Park Photographer Kate Vinen
Subject Owly Osbourne Location Centennial Park Photographer Sebastian Elmaloglou @intepic
Subject Patience Location Bronte Photographer Robert Merlino @robert_merlino
Subject Sunset Kiss Location Dover Heights Photographer Dov Frazer @dovman
The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!
Subject Breathless Location Centennial Park Photographer Jules Breese
Subject Full Moon and Free Location Coogee Photographer Steve Peach
Subject Magic Morning Location Maroubra Photographer Céline Brispot
Subject Rockhoppers Location Maroubra Photographer Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall
Subject Quilted Cloey Location Clovelly Photographer Jack Harkin
Please send them to photos@thebeast.com.au
Big Brother was watching.
Alleged Crimes of the East Words Gary Larson Maroubra Woman Really Blew It (So Did Son!) A woman got her four-year-old son to blow into an alcohol interlock device, according to officers from City South-Botany Bay Highway Patrol. They have the pictures to prove it, and recently made a posting about them on the Highway Patrol Facebook page. Interlock devices prevent drivers from starting their cars if they have a blood alcohol level higher than .02. The picture above shows the actual handheld device in the Maroubra mother’s car. There was also a prominent sticker on the inside of the mum’s windscreen saying a camera had been installed to ensure the correct driver was using the interlock. But, after several vain attempts to start the car using her own alcoholladen breath, she ignored the camera warning as she got Junior to blow into the device. However, Junior did not have enough puff, so Mum then got hold of a 12 volt air compressor to try and trick the device! That did not work either. It was all caught on Candid Camera. 30 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
The mother’s illegal efforts to trick the interlock device emerged after she lowered her alcohol level enough to start the car legally before embarking on a disastrous journey. First she collided with another vehicle and failed to stop, then she was stopped by police in Redfern. Things quickly went downhill for her as she tested positive for methamphetamine and cocaine. She was taken to Mascot police station, along with her car, which was seized for examination of the interlock device. At the station, officers played the images from the interlock unit, which showed the methtaking mum making numerous failed starting attempts before recruiting her son, then using the air compressor. She was hit with a string of charges and given conditional bail to appear in court at a later date. Protestors Nabbed Outside Council Chambers Four people were arrested by police after a lockdown protest outside the Waverley Council chambers. They were among a group of 20 demonstrators, several of them mask-less, who congregated outside the Council buildings at the top of Bondi Road. Police issued 14 Penalty Infringement Notices and arrested four people for refusing to move on. As police moved in, one man did the bolt and dashed onto Bondi Road, but he was soon caught by the long arm of the law. The protest was one of several nearsimultaneous, anti-lockdown, “pro-choice” rallies held outside government buildings across eastern Australia. ID Theft Scam Alleged An unemployed Eastgardens man raked in $300,000 in an identity theft racket, police have alleged in court.
Carl Soriano, 45, is said to have engaged in a credit card scam with Naweena Sukkasem, 43, his partner and mother of his children. They face a string of fraud charges, along with Jakkawan Wongsuwan, 41, of South Coogee. Soriano recently fronted the Supreme Court trying to get bail so he could attend a drug rehabilitation program, but the judge knocked back his application. Firearm, Explosives Seized From ‘Bikie’ - Police A domestic violence call by officers from Eastern Beaches Police Area Command has led to a Chifley man facing firearm and explosives charges. When police searched his home, they found a black pistol and ammunition plus “a suspicious case with wires protruding”. The house was evacuated, a perimeter established and the Bomb Squad called in. The suspect bag contained explosives and detonators, but was declared safe after the Bomb Squad separated the items. Officers from Raptor Squad, which deals with bikie and other gang crime, visited the scene and seized Outlaw Motorcycle Club Gang paraphernalia. A 22-year-old man is before the courts facing firearm, explosives and stalking charges. Keam Charge Police have charged a 75-yearold Melbourne resident with the alleged gay hate murder of Raymond Keam in a Randwick park in 1987. The arrest of Stan Early at his home in Melbourne’s southeast follows the recent posting of a $1 million reward for information leading to a conviction. Mr Keam was the victim of a fatal late-night bashing in Alison Park. Early has been extradited to NSW.
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Issue 201 October 2021 The Beast 31
You smell delicious.
The Unreliable Guide to... Browsing Words Nat Shepherd Photo Claudia Sniffer Here’s a thing The Unreliable Guide never expected to miss - browsing in shops. Due to COVID-19, browsing is currently an illegal activity in NSW, but it was never something I particularly enjoyed anyway. Shopping for me was always more of a mission - I targeted what I needed, went in and bought it. I was a mall ninja, a highly skilled commando shopper. I took no prisoners and I was quick and effective. But now I’m not allowed to wander around shops, stroking fur cushions and sniffing the leather on fancy jackets, so I find myself browsing online instead. For hours and hours. And it seems I’m not alone. Statistics show that this lockdown has caused a 36 per cent increase in online purchases compared to this time last year. I understand why, but it’s just not the same. It turns out we shop with far more than just our eyes. Not only are the goods now two instead of three-dimensional, they don’t smell, taste or feel of anything. And this has got 32 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
me thinking about what kind of world we are moving into. Does it Pass the Smell Test? We often forget the fact that we are animals, driven by animal urges. This is important because an online world driven by data cannot satisfy those urges. When The Unreliable Guide first met their other half, it was their smell that made me realise they were The One. They smelled perfect, like home. And if you think that’s weird, science has long known that certain body odours are significantly connected to human sexual attraction. When we meet someone we fancy, we subconsciously analyse their scent to identify if our potential mate will provide favourable genetic traits for our offspring. And this is something that is absolutely missing when we choose our partners from a pile of two-dimensional photographs or videos. And it’s the same for online shopping. Those shoes might look fantastic on the website, but when the delivery arrives and you open
the box they smell like petrol and have a weird insole that feels like walking on knives. The only option is a shoe-divorce. Put them on Gumtree or eBay and hope some other sucker falls for the photo like you did. The New Normal So is this isolated online world going to be our new normal? Lockdown has forced us all to stay at home, but recent trends show we’ve been doing that more and more anyway. Many of us now genuinely prefer social media to socialising. In a world terrified of the next pandemic, a simple solution seems to be to wrap us all in cotton wool and make sure we avoid all physical contact. No sneezes means no diseases. The only infection you’ll worry about will be a computer virus. But at what cost to your animal self? Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests that we all get out and sniff the breeze, while we still can. Hug the people in your bubble and tell them that they smell great today.
At Louie’s Tucker, we understand that our furry family members deserve the very best. By providing a raw diet for your dog, you are allowing them to be happy and healthy. We are currently operating out of Lucas Quality Meats in Bronte, a friendly family business. The idea to sell premium dog food arose from our dog Louie’s insatiable appetite for our chicken and beef pack. We gave samples to some of Louie’s friends and they loved it too, so we decided to share the joy with as many dogs as possible. Come into Lucas Meats any time and have a conversation, or send us an email at louiestucker@outlook.com if you would like some more information. The Louie's Tucker Team Premium Dog Food
Lucas Meats 48 MacPherson Street Bronte NSW 2024 Tel: 02 9369 3867 • Fax: 02 9389 0373 • www.lucasmeats.com.au
Issue 201 October 2021 The Beast 33
Just another day at the zoo.
Scores of Eastern Suburbs Residents Identifying as VIP Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblakewriter.org Photo Kanye East The 2021 Australian Census has revealed an increase in the number of Eastern Suburbs residents self-identifying as VIP. The Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) has not yet released official figures, but confirmed the trend exclusively to The Beast, explaining that people identified themselves through their responses to questions on topics such as occupation, annual income, home ownership and number of investment properties. “The rise in self-identification as VIP (Very Important Person) since the previous census could be explained by the fact 34 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
that census night fell during Sydney’s COVID lockdown, thus forcing Eastern Suburbs residents to be trapped in their homes and not enjoying their holiday homes in Bowral or Gerroa,” explained a spokesperson for the ABS, “…or by the endless rise in property prices.” Renowned Sociologist Professor P. Pelwacha highlighted common behavioural traits of VIPs, which set them apart from ordinary citizens. “They expect valet parking services anywhere, at any time, in the Eastern Suburbs, and to be able to complete their regular workout on the coastal walk during Sculpture by the
Sea. They will walk their dog wherever it suits them and seek recourse in the inherent socioeconomic dynamic whenever a council ranger enforces the rules. VIPs also cling to the delusion that a suburb within eight kilometres of the Sydney CBD can be called a ‘village’.” Professor Pelwacha added that VIPs can be seen exploiting their status to circumvent COVID 19 stay at home restrictions. “This is evident in the number of parents enjoying a social coffee with an ocean view while their children pretended to ride the pedal park at Clovelly Beach. It also explains the images of hundreds of locals sunbaking freely on local beaches during the height of Sydney’s recent lockdown.” Within the broad spectrum of VIP are specific manifestations, according to the professor. “One such label is the Vehemently Inconsiderate Person, who works such long hours to afford to live in the region that whenever they do have free time, they feel entitled to do whatever they want, regardless of other people.” The census also unearthed a new subgroup of citizens labelled ‘celebrity adjacent’. This term was popularised by social media and refers to being in close proximity to a celebrity, either at home or during school drop-off. It implies a degree of deflected fame for the adjacent person. “On the Eastern Beaches, however, locals believe the celebrities are adjacent to them.” A sharp increase in people self-identifying as VIP presents a conundrum, according to Professor Pelwacha. “If everyone is a VIP, no one is a VIP,” he explained. “Thus, we are preparing the 2026 census to include a category for VVIP.”
October 2021 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Photo Honey Skinner Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Moons
• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter
1.12 0.74 1.47 0.52
2 0514 1044 1709 2352
1.20 0.66 1.55 0.43
8 0359 1016 1632 2239
0.22 1.79 0.22 1.64
9 0440 1102 1727 2331
0.28 1.83 0.24 1.52
15 0521 1.24 1051 0.66 1722 1.61
16 0010 0617 1158 1820
0.39 1.32 0.59 1.62
17 0057 0703 1255 1910
0.36 1.41 0.52 1.63
23 0408 1033 1700 2258
0.48 1.67 0.43 1.33
24 0438 1106 1740 2338
0.54 1.66 0.46 1.27
30 0435 1000 1624 2317
1.17 0.76 1.47 0.51
0.20 1.72 0.23 1.73
1.19 0.66 1.63 0.44
•
14 0410 0933 1611 2313
1.19 0.69 1.60 0.42
20 0242 0856 1505 2109
0.36 1.61 0.40 1.53
21 0311 0929 1544 2145
0.39 1.65 0.40 1.47
22 0340 1000 1621 2221
0.43 1.67 0.41 1.40
27 0111 0634 1311 2011
1.15 0.72 1.51 0.60
28 0212 0732 1408 2118
1.11 0.77 1.46 0.60
29 0324 0844 1515 2223
1.12 0.79 1.45 0.57
5 0206 0813 1407 2021
0.27 1.52 0.37 1.77
6 0243 0852 1453 2105
0.22 1.63 0.29 1.77
11 0028 0611 1244 1931
1.39 0.48 1.77 0.36
12 0131 0707 1344 2045
1.27 0.58 1.70 0.42
13 0246 0814 1454 2203
18 0136 0744 1343 1953
0.34 1.50 0.46 1.62
19 0211 0821 1426 2031
0.34 1.56 0.42 1.58
26 0021 0548 1223 1913
1.20 0.66 1.57 0.56
•
Sunday
1 0419 0942 1614 2309 7 0320 0933 1542 2150
0.34 1.40 0.46 1.72
Sunrise Buddies.
Saturday
•
4 0130 0735 1322 1938
25 0511 0.60 1143 1.62 1823 0.51
Friday
•
3 0657 1.30 1235 0.57 1856 1.64 10 0523 0.37 1150 1.82 1825 0.29
31 0531 1.26 1107 0.69 1725 1.53
Where there's a will...
Generational Wealth Planning Words Rob Shears Photo Sue Perannuation The area of advice that often causes the most headaches is estate planning. We have seen families lose millions of dollars in legal battles and lost tax savings simply because the estate plans were poorly done, or not done at all. Most people don’t have a last will and testament. If they have a will, they often don’t have a very good one. Only a fraction of people have lineal descendant testamentary trusts, which is a trust established under your last will and testament that provides for your family who are your bloodline only. This can protect against marital separation, creditor issues, wayward spending from dependents and other potential issues. 36 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
The tax savings of a wellstructured estate plan can be huge. Testamentary trusts can stream income to minors at adult marginal tax rates, making use of the $18,600 tax-free threshold. Super is tax-free to dependents, yet taxable to nondependents. Those who have both financial dependents and non-dependents have the ability to reduce potential tax payable to zero, if structured correctly. Equally important is reviewing this annually, as dependency can change year by year. We had a client who recently passed away from cancer. Through quick and simple planning we were able to reduce tax to the estate by nearly $60,000 by simply getting the money out of super before they passed.
An enduring power of attorney allows someone who becomes unsound of mind to have their assets looked after to provide for them or their family as appropriate. An enduring guardian gives another person the ability to make medical and care decisions for a person after they are no longer able to. Including pets in your estate plans can also be very important for those who love their animals. Many people don’t think of these things, and the consequences can be quite sad. An area where many estate plans fail is regular review. Life is not static - superannuation laws change, estate laws change, beneficiaries change, executors change - and you can miss out on hundreds of thousands of dollars of potential tax savings by not reviewing your estate regularly. As part of our full service offering, we provide documentation for lineal descendant testamentary trusts, enduring powers of attorney, superannuation lineal descendant trusts, binding nominations, reversionary pensions and enduring guardian. Most importantly, we review it every year. While others charge many thousands of dollars for this service, we now incorporate it into our fees. What would happen if you died or lost mental capacity today? Have you got your estate plans sorted? Rob Shears is an Authorised Representative of Valor Financial Group (AFSL 405452). This advice is general and does not take into account your objectives, financial situation or needs. You should consider whether the advice is suitable for you and your personal circumstances.
IT I S FAR B E T TE R TO I NVE ST I N A WO N D E R F U L CO M PAN Y AT A FAI R P R I CE , THAN A FAI R CO M PAN Y AT A WO N D E R F U L P R I CE WARREN BUFFETT
VALOR PRIVATE WEALTH — DIRECT GLOBAL INVESTING IN THE WORLD’S BEST COMPANIES
A specialist wealth planner like no other Wealth Creation | Direct Investments | Self-Managed Super Funds Wealth Protection | Income Protection | Life Insurance | Estate Planning valorprivatewealth.com.au (02) 8013 5205
Valor Private Wealth Pty Limited is a Corporate Authorised Representative (Corporate Authorised Representative No. 409498) of Valor Financial Group Pty Limited, AFSL No. 405452, ABN 81150590453.
The future is here.
We've Come a Long Way Words Dr Marjorie O'Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Ed Yukayshan While we have been in lockdown experiencing something akin to Groundhog Day, waiting each morning with bated breath to hear the latest figures and receive our instructions, spring has arrived! Despite our daily gloomy briefings and the many difficulties we face, these sunnier days are very welcome. As we all do what the health authorities ask of us and hopefully turn the corner to a safer and freer future, it is time to recognise and celebrate all that we have learnt and achieved over the past eighteen months. We have witnessed a level of kindness and caring for each other probably only seen before during times of war; neighbours checking in on one another, messages from friends looking out for each other and enquiring about our well-being, a friendly nod from behind a mask and continued support for local businesses. Random acts of kindness are everywhere. Our local community has come together to help those who are most in need, donating food to people they will never meet. There is not a day that goes by without someone approaching my office wanting to 38 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
know how they can help those in need. This generosity and compassion is something we should all be proud of. Creativity has also blossomed. There are gardeners and chefs everywhere these days. Parents and carers have mastered the fine art of juggling employment, domestic chores and home schooling. Many people have been able to continue their education remotely. Business and community meetings have occurred online, as well as medical consultations, religious services and even parties. Small businesses have innovated with new modes of operation including click and collect and home delivery. Recognition is also due to those who have lost much of their income but have managed to create more from less, as well as those in small or crowded dwellings who have discovered a space within a space. Independence and adaptability are particularly evident in our school children, who have learnt to function in an environment very different from the one they were used to. They have been largely unable to physically access the structures, teachers and
friends that previously defined their lives. For those completing their HSC, this challenge has been enormous, coupled with the absence of celebration and traditional rites of passage which they undoubtedly hoped for. I am sure that we all send them our very best wishes for the weeks ahead, along with our admiration for their strength and ability to remain happy and calm in these challenging times. Recognition of the value of our frontline workers, as well as an understanding of who they are and how dependent we are upon them, has been a theme of recent months. Where would we be without our garbage collectors, public transport drivers and emergency services? Our phenomenal healthcare personnel have been worked to the bone. It has become ever more evident that the provision of quality health services requires a commensurate level of staffing. Our teachers have not only done an amazing job at pivoting to online learning, they have demonstrated an extraordinary level of commitment and innovation focussed on making distance learning enjoyable for our kids. Over the past few months, I have been welcomed into online classrooms, assisting with public speaking competitions, providing talks to students on the NSW political system and even competing in online cooking challenges! The past months have been difficult for all of us, but for some it has been much worse. As we move through spring, I sincerely hope that life improves for everyone, and I will work to assist and support anyone in need. It is also important that we acknowledge those important aspects that have flourished in our community and ensure that our taxes are directed to supporting those services we most value.
Coogee Voice
Tune into our community podcast, Coogee Voice, that covers all things Eastern Suburbs. You can find it on your favourite podcast streaming app!
Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP
Member for Coogee If you have any issues at all that you require assistance with, please do not hesitate to contact my office on 9398 1822, email coogee@parliament.nsw.gov.au, or come in at 15/53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick.
To fill out my community survey, scan this QR code!
Authorised by Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP. Funded using parliamentary entitlements.
Electric vehicles sales in Australia have accelerated in the past 6 months.
Australia Must Accelerate Our Climate Action Words Dave Sharma, MP for Wentworth The recent report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) is a sobering wake-up call. It makes clear that climate change is already happening. The planet is already warming, by about 1.5°C since 1850. Extreme weather events are becoming more common, with the evidence of this visible around the world right now. Human activity is warming the planet at a speed that is unprecedented in at least the last 2,000 years. As the report makes clear, rapid and large-scale emissions reductions are needed. If the world can substantially reduce emissions in the 2020s, and get to net-zero carbon emissions by 2050, temperature rise can still be limited. Climate change is a global challenge, and Australia must play our part in addressing it. This will help us manage the risks climate change poses to Australia, which are significant. But it will also position us to take advantage of some of the immense opportunities that 40 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
will flow from this economic transition, which Australia is well placed to capture. In Australia, our emissions have fallen by 21 per cent since 2005. They are now at their lowest level since 1998. We have the highest solar power generation per person of any country globally, with one in four Australian homes now with rooftop solar. We are deploying renewable energy ten times faster than the global average. But while shifting to a renewable energy grid is essential, this alone is not sufficient. We need to do more to encourage the electrification of transport, including promoting the uptake of electric vehicles. Australian sales of electric vehicles have risen at record levels in the past six months. The government is supporting consumers to make this switch by installing new electric vehicle charging stations across Australia. Just last month, we announced $25 million in funding to the Australian Renewable Energy
Agency to install more than 400 new electric vehicle charging stations across the country, including several here in the Eastern Suburbs. We also need to look at how we make industrial processes, like the production of aluminium, steel and cement, cleaner. Australia has an opportunity to use our abundant sources of clean energy to process our iron ore and bauxite on shore, and export low-emission steel and aluminium. With our vast endowment of solar energy, Australia has the opportunity to create the clean fuel of the future in hydrogen. Under our National Hydrogen Strategy, we are investing in hydrogen projects and international partnerships to develop a safe, commercial and clean hydrogen industry. There is also immense potential for Australian farmers and agricultural producers to benefit from this transition through soil carbon initiatives. Capturing more carbon in soil not only improves soil health, builds resilience, and protects against drought - it can also create a valuable income stream for farmers, as they can sell these carbon ‘credits’. We are only at the start of this journey, and there is still much to do. As the IPCC report makes clear, we need to be accelerating the speed of our transition. There are two important steps Australia can take to demonstrate we are serious, and to send the market signals to speed up this transition. One is to firmly commit to net-zero emissions by 2050, as each of our states and territories has done. The other is to increase our 2030 Paris emissions reduction target. I’ll be pushing for both in the lead up to the next big international climate change summit in Glasgow in November.
Zap him again.
You Vill Obey! Words Jeremy Ireland It’s no secret that human beings at times have an amazing capacity to do cruel things to each other. All you need to do is flick on the news any day of the week to see some kind of atrocity being inflicted onto somebody else. Ever since man first stepped out of the cave, we have been developing more effective and efficient ways of inflicting extreme cruelty, even death, onto one another. Think of the Spanish Inquisition, the Holocaust, the My Lai Massacre by American soldiers in Vietnam, New York’s Twin Towers or, more recently, the takeover of Kabul by the Taliban. In an effort to understand how ordinary people could take part in such awful acts, researcher and professor Stanley Milgram conducted an experiment in the early 1960s that has been dubbed ‘perhaps the most dramatic experiment in psychology in the 20th century’. He was interested in obedience, and why people obey authority in particular. 42 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
The experiment, which Milgram carried out more than once, involved three people; let’s call them the student, teacher and scientist. The teacher would test the student’s memory using paired words, and if the student got one wrong then the scientist would instruct the teacher to administer an electric shock to the student. The more words the student got wrong, the higher the voltage of the shock. Now, I’m sure there are plenty of genuine teachers out there who would love to electrocute their students, but unbeknown to the poor teacher in the experiment, both the student and the scientist were in fact actors, and the electric shocks weren’t real. The fake scientist would use phrases such as, “The experiment requires you continue,” and the fake student would deliberately get words wrong and then fake being electrocuted. In some cases the voltage climbed as high as 450 volts and the teacher would still execute the shock because they were instructed to do so by the scientist, or authority figure. It sounds awful, but the reality was that some of the poor teachers, who weren’t in on the deception, would still inflict the shock just because the scientist said they had to, despite saying they didn’t want to do it. In the 18 times that this experiment was carried out, Milgram discovered 65 per cent of the experiment’s teachers would hit the electric shock button. Furthermore, he found that the combination of the remoteness of the victim, the authority of the person giving the orders and the presence of others who also obeyed, increased the likelihood of someone complying with orders to kill. The take-home message here is that it’s not the case that the experiment’s unsuspecting
teachers are giving their will over to the scientist, but rather that the scientist has the ability to persuade them that they have a moral obligation to hit the shock button. If we look at the lockdown scenario during the current COVID Delta variant’s spread, it’s understandable that some of us want to revolt, but the fact remains that the majority of us are willing to comply with the health orders. Is this just because we are being told to do so by an authority figure? It’s certainly a possibility. Either way, it turns out that obeying authority is more the norm rather than the exception. As Milgram discovered, we all have the potential to bow to authority, and unfortunately the results from his experiment still ring true today. So, if you want to know what the man himself concluded, maybe this quote from his book Obedience to Authority might sum it up. “The social psychology of this century reveals a major lesson: often it is not so much the kind of person that a person is as the kind of situation in which he finds himself that determines how he will act.” Heavy stuff, but his remark can be considered in the context of many different conditions including depression, anxiety and addiction, among others. It’s worth considering that you may behave differently if you are in a shitty situation, compared with when you’re not. If you were the teacher in Milgram’s experiment, what do you think you would do? P.S. Milgram’s experiment is up on YouTube, if you’d like to take a closer look. Have you got a question? Please contact Jeremy at bondicounsellingservices.com.
Beautifully honest.
Em Ly: More Than Just Catchy Tunes Words and Photo Alasdair McClintock @aldothewriter If you’ve spent any time on the coastal walk from Bondi to Clovelly, you may already know Em Ly. She’s the one who sings while she’s walking. “It’s my only time to practice,” she explained to The Beast, “I get a few strange looks, but mostly people just ignore me.” Being the mother of two children, Alexander, 5, and Abigail, 7, it’s completely understandable. The fact Em even finds the time to walk the coastal walk is quite remarkable in itself, but somehow she has managed to write and record her debut
single, Quiet Spaces, during this busy time as well. Fans of Adele and Lorde will definitely get a kick out of it, but it is more than just a catchy tune. “There's a backstory for Quiet Spaces,” Em revealed, “which is about domestic violence and coercive control. “But there's also a bigger backstory about my mental health journey, starting with a psychotic episode in 2012, and how, at the end of my relationship with my narcissistic mother, I turned to singing and started the journey to find my
voice. The two things are tightly interwoven. It’s a bit complicated, I’m trying to write a memoir about it, but I’m a bit stuck.” There is a beautiful honesty in both the song and Em’s openness with her struggles. In what has been a very tough year for everyone, speaking about your mental health has never been more important. You may be saving someone else’s life, not just your own, with such openness. Em isn’t just speaking, she is singing. “In 2019, I had a relapse of my bipolar disorder and fell into a particularly bad depression. I was suicidal, and all the things that usually helped me to manage my illness weren’t working. I was eating well, exercising like a fiend, not drinking alcohol, I had a good psychiatrist, a loving and kind husband and two beautiful children, but nothing seemed to shift the dark clouds that were enveloping me. I started singing lessons because it filled me with joy and hope, and I needed to cling to those feelings to stay alive. “Music is my coping mechanism. The more I create and sing, the better I feel. Music fills me with indescribable joy. In my darkest hours, I turned to music, and it kept me safe.” “A friend suggested I try writing a song, so I roped my friend Erin Clare in to help me. We collaborated; I wrote the lyrics, she wrote the music. I was very fortunate that my friend, the wonderful Adrian Breakspear, agreed to produce the song. He’s an ARIA Award winning producer (Gang of Youths, CLEWS, Johnny Hunter).” While Em is still trying to write a memoir about her experiences, for now she has settled for a song - a cracking song. Quiet Spaces is available to stream on all the usual suspects. Give it a spin. More importantly, reach out if you need to. Issue 201 October 2021 The Beast 43
Nóstimo!
Greek Inspired Prawn Salad Words and Photo Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine This balmy spring weather has got me thinking about eating lighter, fresher meals, so here’s a recipe for a salad to conjure up dreams of travel, beachside dining and entertaining friends again - wouldn’t that be nice! Celebrating the best produce we have available to us in Sydney, grab some local prawns, fresh peas, fennel, chilli, mint, haloumi and bread for croutons, and you’ll be able to create a sophisticated salad full of Greek inspired flavour and texture. A zingy homemade tzatziki makes this salad thrive. This recipe serves 2-3 people. Ingredients 600gm green prawns, peeled and deveined, tails removed 1 tbs fresh oregano, chopped 44 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
1 clove garlic, chopped 180gm fresh peas, podded Large bunch of fresh mint, leaves picked ¼ bulb of fennel, finely sliced (and fronds for garnish) 225gm haloumi, sliced ¼ fresh baguette or stick of sourdough torn into croutons 1 large red chilli, finely chopped Juice of ½ a lemon 1½ tbs olive oil Sea salt Cracked black pepper Tzatziki 1 cup thick Greek yoghurt 1 Lebanese cucumber, grated, squeeze well to remove liquid 1 tbs extra virgin olive oil Juice of ½ lemon 1½ cloves garlic, grated Sea salt to season
Method 1. Preheat the oven to 180°C. 2. In a bowl, marinate the prawns in oregano, 1 tablespoon of the olive oil, garlic, lemon juice and sea salt to season and set aside for 10 minutes. 3. On a baking tray, place the croutons in a single layer and toss in the remaining olive oil. Bake in the oven for approximately 10-12 minutes until golden brown, tossing halfway through. Remove from the oven and set aside. 4. Blanch the peas in boiling water for 1½ minutes, then remove them from the heat, strain and pour in a bowl of iced water to stop them from cooking further. Strain and set aside. 5. In a pan on medium heat, add the prawns and cook for 2-3 minutes. Remove from the pan and set aside. 6. In a pan on medium heat, add a drizzle of olive oil and cook the slices of haloumi for 1 minute on each side and until golden brown. Remove from the pan and set aside. 7. Combine all ingredients for the tzatziki in a bowl, stir to combine. 8. Arrange the prawns, peas, fennel, haloumi, baguette and chilli on a large serving plate, then spoon over the tzatziki and add fresh mint on top. Finish it off with a generous squeeze of lemon and plenty of cracked black pepper to serve. Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to here in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.
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Subject Blue Hues Location Bondi Photographer Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall
Subject Mighty Mouse Location Bondi Photographer Andrew Worssam
Subject Angel of the Morning Location Bronte Photographer Scott Guerin
Subject Pre-COVID-19 Location Bondi Photographer Patrick O'Brien
Subject Battlements Location Coogee Photographer Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall
Subject Mirror Ball Location Bronte Photographer Selina O'Connor
The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!
46 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
Subject Perfection Location Dover Heights Photographer Dov Frazer @dovman
Subject Angles Location Coogee Photographer Michael Cummings
Subject Raincoats and Fishing Boats Location Gordons Bay Photographer Maria Papandrea
Subject Solo Swimmer Location Bondi Photographer James Morrison
Subject Winter Surfer Location Bronte Photographer Andrew Iredale
Please send them to photos@thebeast.com.au Issue 201 October 2021 The Beast 47
KANYE Donda Label GOOD Music, Def Jam Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating I have a confession - when I went to university, I was very lazy. I would rarely source enough references to fill out the required word count for assignments, and deliberately rambled and talked in circles in order to achieve the magic number. Somehow, I usually passed. I think I often confused the markers so much they just let me get away with it. Throw in a few big words and people start to believe you know what you’re talking about! Donda is one of those essays and is further proof to my theory that Kanye West is just toying with us all.
BLISS N ESO The Sun Label Illusive Sounds, Obese Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating
ANNETTE Genre Drama, Musical Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador Don’t expect anything conventional about this ambitious and eccentric rock-opera collaboration between the quirky American avantgarde pop duo, Ron and Russell Mael aka Sparks, and innovative French director Leos Carax (Holy Motors, Mauvais Sang). Like a superbly ludicrous and disjointed dream, Annette takes us on a surreal journey into the self-destructive aspects of fame, identity and romance in all its bittersweet glory. Famous ‘It’ couple, Henry (Adam Driver), an unconventional stand-up comedian with an extremely obnoxious stage presence, and Ann (Marion Cotillard), a gentle and exquisite opera singer, are deeply in love but the strain of fame and the birth of their “baby girl” dramatically alter their lives in the most unexpected way. If you’re looking for something to break the COVID cloud hanging over everything, then look no further than Annette. It’s definitely not for everyone, but for those wanting something teetering between the hauntingly bizarre and profoundly absurd then you’ll be pleasantly surprised, if not somewhat bewildered. Just expect the unexpected. 48 The Beast October 2021 Issue 201
Bliss n Eso are not obsessed with bacon and egg rolls. It took me a while to realise their continual “B and E” references are actually regarding themselves, not the delicious breakfast sandwich. My bad! What fascinates me about these guys is their energy. Seven albums down and they’re still in your face and unapologetically obnoxious. It can be grating or invigorating, depending on your mood. Today, I loved it, yesterday, I had to turn it off immediately. The Sun won’t shine on many new fans, but it’s a worthy addition to an impressive career.
NGAIIRE 3 Label Dot Dash, Majestic Casual Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating It takes a lot to give me goose bumps these days - I dare say I could stand naked in a cold breeze and barely feel a thing - but Ngaiire managed to pulse a few of my pimples with 3. There is a bit more sugar in the pop, which arguably makes it her most accessible album yet, but there is also a depth that assures it is more than a mere joyful frolic through frivolity. Ngaiire’s emotions and journey feel real, not something concocted in a recording studio for the Triple J machine. I’m digging it, like a wombat building its burrow.
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ACROSS 1. United Australia Party head (5,5) 6. Implement used to propel through water (3) 7. Elastic bands of tissue connecting bones (9) 10. Medical professional association (1,1,1) 11. A group of large crocodilian reptiles (10) 13. Young goat (3) 14. Precision (9) 15. Taxi (3) 16. Official who examines the reasons for a person’s death (7) 20. Spanish friend (5) 21. Rice-like pasta (4) 22. Clovelly winter swimmer (6) DOWN 1. Assemble different materials to create this
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artform (7) 2. Type of pasta consisting of long fine strands (5,4) 3. Indonesian cake (3) 4. Greeting (2) 5. Former husband of Miranda Kerr (7,5) 8. A unit of explosive power (7) 9. The egg or young form of a louse (3) 10. Say something to obtain an answer (3) 12. Drive out (4) 16. A large bird with mostly black plumage (4) 17. A woodwind instrument with a slender conical tubular body (4) 18. A fictional primitive race of teddy-bear like creatures (4) 19. Abbreviated frontline health worker (4)
Trivial Trivia Words Lisa Anderson Photo Theresia Hall Instagram @theresia.g.hall 1. Which island is shared by Malaysia, Brunei and Indonesia? 2. Which Californian music festival is held at the Empire Polo Club in Indio each year? 3. Nelson Mandela was held in which South African prison from 1964 to 1982?
4. Jar Jar Binks appears in which science fiction franchise? 5. What do you call a prime mover towing two semis? 6. Is shiatsu a type of dog, massage or mushroom? 7. Which hormone regulates the sleep cycle in humans?
8. According to the Collins English Dictionary, what was the word of the year for 2020? 9. Couch, buffalo and zoysia are all types of what? 10. Where will the Winter Paralympic Games be held in 2022?
The Bunker. Issue 201 October 2021 The Beast 49
Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 Put all your free government money into a sports betting account so you don’t have to make any stressful investment decisions.
Taurus Apr 21-May 21 Don’t believe everything you think, especially if you think you’re going to get a pay rise before 2030.
Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 Brush up on your dancefloor repertoire and one-liners before you’re thrust back into the cruel world of non-digital dating.
Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Your home cooking efforts have been a bit sketchy of late. Ease your farts out with great care or you’ll need to buy a new mattress.
Visions Beardy from Hell
Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 Continue to tell everyone how hard you’ve been working, even though you’ve done f*ck all for the last six months or so.
Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 It’s okay to admit you don’t want lockdown to end. With friends like yours just outside the 5km zone it’s totally understandable.
Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 If you haven’t learnt an instrument or a language during lockdown, there’s still time to master the triangle or pig Latin.
Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 Book a holiday, even if it’s just to tell everyone you’re going somewhere, which is the real reason you go anywhere anyway.
Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 Break free from your prudish ways and purchase a decent dilly. There’s some great technology coming onto the market.
Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result doesn’t mean you’re insane, it just means you’re an idiot.
Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 Do your beautician a favour by giving your section a quick trim prior to your first post-lockdown appointment.
Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 Buy a dog so you have an ongoing excuse to get out of the house when your partner’s being a pain in the arse.
Star Signs
Trivial Trivia Solutions 1. Borneo 2. Coachella 3. Robben Island 4. Star Wars 5. B-Double 6. Massage 7. Melatonin 8. Lockdown 9. Grass 10. Beijing, China
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