The Beestonian Issue 39 by The Beestonian

Tomorrow’s Chip Paper, Today!

Issue no.

AT BLOODY LAST

It’s here! / Not here! / Coming Soon / Cancelled (delete as applicable).

At long last, by the time this issue hits the streets of Beeston, trams carrying passengers will be rumbling by / due to start any day / a figment of your imagination. After more than a decade of planning, three years of work and a mountain of disruption, you can finally get on a tram at Beeston and travel to town / get thrown off as it is still testing / find out it’s actually a bus but if you imagine hard enough, pretend it’s a tram. We’ve been planning an ‘It’s here!’ front cover for some months now. The tram was due to run in mid-December 2014, but as that date crept up it was obvious it would be delayed. That opening has moved further and further, until now, in August 2015, it seems touchably close. Like a public transport Zeno’s Paradox, it never quite seems to get there. Yet we’re assured that it will be before the next issue of The Beestonian comes out. Probably. We don’t doubt it will be a boon for Beeston, as long as we make sure it brings people here as well as takes them away. That means Beeston has

to offer those fancy-pants city-dwellers something different, something worth travelling to NG9 for. We are already getting a reputation for our rich cultural scene, our wealth of excellent pubs, and our fantastic independent stores. Yet there are challenges. Just when we need investment to the town, Broxtowe received the worst local government grant in the UK, which meant many ideas to spruce as up were scrapped. As such, we need to get smart, and get together. There is no room to just rant: take action. The Civic Society, the University and many others are now working together to ensure that future development is to focus on giving the best deal not to profit, but to the people of Beeston: more on this in our next issue. The tram ushers forward the largest change to Beeston in decades. Like it or loathe it, it won’t be going away any time soon so we have to make the most of what it offers. Beeston works best when it works together. Let’s get on track to a modern, prosperous Beeston. Whenever it arrives. LB

Wednesday 16th September

Wednesday 2nd September

Craft Beer Tasting

Ladies Night

3 course menu for £15 plus half price cocktails all night www.ryecafebar.co.uk

An evening of USA craft beers hosted by Left Coast Distribution Tickets £15, limited availability

Chequers Returns O

Stapleford from a run-down boozer that had seen better ne of the key factors in my decision Pub days into one of the finalists in the CAMRA Pub Of The to move to Beeston was the number lovers are still Year contest a couple of years ago. If anyone is qualified and quality of the pubs. In 2002 I to do the business then it is them. very well served could have chosen to move in Beeston, fans I ventured in there a week after it opened with an open anywhere in the city, and I had to weigh of proper beer in mind, not really knowing what to expect. I had been up a load of different factors. Proximity to told that it was going to be a great venue for watching particular. bus routes and shops meant I was looking at sport, but it wasn’t going to be rowdy or the sort of place Sherwood, Arnold, Carlton, West Bridgford and you wouldn’t go on a date. For a Wednesday night there was Netherfield. Not much to choose between them a good smattering of people in there, some of them watching Derby County losing to lowly opposition in the League Cup. Definitely really, but when the pubs Top Trumps card was played, no rowdiness, and a few couples in there too. Beeston won hands down.

Having worked on Padge Road for a few years, I was an eager participant in the annual works pre-Christmas all day crawl (affectionately known as Black Eye Friday in some parts of the country). This would see us take in as many of the watering holes as possible, many of them sadly now long gone. Most of those that remain have gone from strength to strength, bucking the national trend of dwindling sales and closures. Pub lovers are still very well served in Beeston, fans of proper beer in particular. As well as that consistent stalwart The Victoria, we’ve got the Hop Pole, The Crown, The Malt Shovel, The Star, The White Lion, The Last Post and The Greyhound offering a few dozen different real ales between them, a good proportion of them being ‘locales’ brewed within our fair county. Probably more than the pubs in many UK cities combined. Now the tram is going to be bringing folk from far and wide through NG9, it is anticipated that Beeston will be renamed as ‘Beerston’, and twinned with Munich. It is a testament to the quality of the pubs in Beeston that they have managed to keep going through all the chaos orchestrated by the rails going down. One pub which was clinging on for dear life even before the tramworks is The Chequers. If any pub looked likely to be turned into a small Sainsburys or tiny Tesco then it was this one. I have fond memories of the pub from many years ago. It was a great place to watch sport, thanks to a big screen, together with a few smaller screens. A bit rough and ready, but full of character and characters. There was a pool table in it, something which is becoming a rarity these days, and perhaps most importantly it is the closest pub to my house. For many years the Chequers has suffered from lack of investment and ideas. A lovely big building, with massive potential for someone with a bit of vision and paint to lick it with. It was one of many pubs that suffered from the smoking ban, the lack of tobacco smoke no longer masking numerous ills. I remember going in there the week after the ban kicked in, expecting lungfuls of fresh air, only to be met with an overpowering aroma of BO and the Gents. Even when you were nowhere near the Gents. From then on it stumbled along sadly, with a dwindling number of regulars, opening and closing as often as that patch of pavement near the police station was dug up and relaid by TWA contractors. So it was a joyous day when I discovered that The Chequers had been taken over by Damian and family (the people behind the fantastic transformation of The Star) and put into the capable hands of manager Darren. As well as turning The Star into another jewel in Beeston’s crown, they are also responsible for turning the Coach and Horses in

The layout of the pub has remained the same, with the main bar in the middle surrounded by the different areas. The décor is light, airy and clean, with framed old record sleeves up on the walls giving a nice touch. Loads of seating available, a big screen complemented with a couple of smaller ones, plus the corner room remaining screen-free for those who might want to avoid televised sport. There’s still a pool table in the small rear room (hurrah!), and the standard comfy outdoor area for smokers. There is a good choice of drinks, including a ‘locale’ in the form of Shipstone’s Original on my visit, and a chalkboard above the bar promises entertainment in the form of live bands, DJs, karaoke and jukebox. In short, it has been given a fairly simple makeover, but one which I think will be a roaring success. I for one will go there to take a few games in, and it will be once again the starting point of a crawl into Beeston with the lads. The Hop Pole will hopefully benefit from more people heading to this end of town too. My only hope now is that someone with similar passion and nouse gets hold of the Commercial, another great Beeston boozer which is currently doing a great impression of a Phoenix about to rise from the ashes. Anyone fancy giving it a bit of a hand up? JC

 THE GREATEST FIGHT IN HISTORY 

Beestonmania

I have a dirty secret to confess.

No, I’m not a clandestine member of UKIP or a card carrying member of the One Direction fan club – I’m a wrestling fan. I even remember my first live event – 1993 at Alfreton Leisure Centre where I saw such notables as The UK Undertaker and the Legend (not Legion) of Doom. All I remember from that halcyon day many years ago was that I enjoyed the hell out of it - the ‘F’ word (fake) didn’t even bother me (doesn’t now either). Now, these days you would be forgiven for thinking that going to see American wrestling in a major city is the only viable way of watching professional wrestling in a live environment. Indeed, one notable way is the House of Pain promotion overseen by behemoth wrestling veteran Paul “Stixx” Grint. Grint, who is to Nottingham wrestling what

Carl Froch is to boxing, also trains wrestlers and employs the promotion to give his trainees experience within the wrestling industry. As House Of Pain recently paid one of their monthly visits to the Beeston Victory Club, I decided to attend in order to see how their shows compared to larger companies such as WWE.

Upon entering the Beeston Victory Club, two things strike me: firstly how much of the moderate floor space the actual ring takes up. There’s no security barrier, no way of separating fans from the action which brings a sweet sense of intimacy. Secondly, how greatly I’m outnumbered by under 10’s. This shouldn’t come as a surprise though as House Of Pain pride themselves in providing reasonably priced, family based entertainment. The vibe instantly brought to mind is reminiscent of a more contemporary World Of Sport from the 1970’s

and 80’s – just with a smidge more drama. One where the phrase “Get In The Ring Ya Pansy” is not out of place and trips away from your seat are only for packets of Quavers and bottles of Diet Coke. The only thing missing is a contemporary Big Daddy.

As I take my seat, the ring announcer comes out to start proceedings. Whereas the WWE may have John Cena and Triple H, House Of Pain has Disco Dan, Timbawolf and Johnny Concrete. The physiques may not be as super-herculean as their American colleagues, but there’s no doubting that the passion in these athletes are every bit as great. Even though there has to be fewer than 100 people in attendance, the wrestlers perform with vigour – as if there were 10 times as many people as there actually are. There’s a flurry of excitement every time the good guy wrestler brushes past the overawed kids, slapping hands.

It’s hard to tell whether they recognise the wrestlers as they come out or not – if they don’t it’s hard to tell. In fact, the whole room has become entranced by what is going on in the ring. At one point, a wrestler is clotheslined backwards out of one the Victory Club’s chairs by his opponent. This encourages an older lady to his side to start shouting detrimental words at him like her life depended on it. When the final pinfall is counted and we start to filter out of the club, I begin to contemplate the environment I’ve just been a part of. If you’re willing to forgo a fiver and temporarily suspend your belief, you can be part of an environment like no other. Be it kid or big kid, you don’t need to go to America, or even Nottingham, to experience it. You can get it right here in Beeston. RS

 RINGSIDE SEATING AVAILABLE  NO HOME TV  NO RADIO 

Christ Church Chilwell J

uly 3rd 2015 marked the Centenary of when Christ Church (Chilwell’s Parish Church), was consecrated.

A Centenary Celebration by Joe Earp

In the Doomesday Book (1086) Chilwell is listed as a separate village, and by the early nineteenth century had a population of 600 or more. Despite this it was not an ecclesiastical parish in itself but a civil township of the parish of Attenborough.

By the 1800s the population of Chilwell was in need of a church for itself. In the 1840s, the Vicar of Attenborough, Rev. Joseph Shooter, petitioned the Ecclesiastical Commissioners with a proposal for providing Anglican services in the parish. They pointed out that the united parishes of Attenborough and Bramcote, had a population according to the 1841 census of 1,768 people in an area of 2,930 acres, but were served by a single clergyman with two churches (Attenborough and Bramcote) two and a half miles apart. The majority of the population lived in Chilwell, with 772 in 1841 and rising. To add to this the walk from Chilwell to Attenborough every Sunday was becoming too much. At least one old source mentions about churchgoers complaining about their Sunday best becoming dusty because of the long trek from Chilwell down Attenborough Lane to St Mary’s Church. Despite the protest for Chilwell to have a church of its own nothing further was done. By the 1880s it was common for services to be held in the local schoolroom, and there was a curate living in the area (the Rev James Crabtree in 1887). The initiative for building a church in Chilwell came from Frederic Chatfield Smith, Esq, of Bramcote, otherwise known as Banker Smith Christ Church, Chilwell, 1930. Credit: Picture the Past.

because of his connection with Smiths Bank (the oldest provincial bank in England).

A plot of land was provided by the Charlton family for £50 in February 1901. Building plans were submitted to Stapleford Urban District Council on 21st August 1901 by Mr MJ Hughes of Arromia Buildings, Bangor, Wales, for a Mission Church on the north side of Main Road. Originally a mission church, it was built between 1901 and 1903. Although opened in 1903, the church wasn’t officially consecrated until 3rd July 1915. Therefore the church is often reckoned to date from 1915. Perhaps the most colourful incident in the church’s history is the fire from August 1970. The Beeston Gazette reported on the incident at the time. “The sanctuary and chancel of the church were extensively damaged by fire, while the Vicar, the Rev. L.L. Abbott, was on holiday. The fire started in a scout hut near the church and quickly spread to the church roof, which was completely gutted during the blaze. New choir stalls, which were only installed two years ago, a new fitted carpet and other furnishings were among the valuable items which were damaged beyond repair. Firemen stopped the fire from spreading to other parts of the church and many other valuable items were saved - including the table and cross and the communion silver.” Luckily the fire did not completely destroy the building and the church has survived to enjoy its 100th anniversary this year. Throughout the summer and autumn the church will be celebrating the Centenary with various events and projects. Please check the church’s website for more details: http://christchurchchilwell. org.uk/ JE

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traffic moving around the hospital three days a week. nless you’re interviewing a I asked him where he got all his corny jokes. I was Parker, by comedian, there aren’t many expecting him to say Bob Monkhouse or Ken Dodd, but conversations that begin with a he said it was from all the ambulance drivers that he Christopher talks to! joke. But that’s exactly what happened Frost when I chatted to Beestonian resident Joe was born in Woolwich, London, and emigrated in the and Mini enthusiast Joe Parker. His joke early 1970s with his wife Ann, to firstly Mapperley, when he first got interested in Mini’s before moving to the Rylands, then concerned two crisps that were out strolling settling into my street with his sons. He now lives off Broadgate along a country road. A car stops and the driver in a flat that’s full of Mini memorabilia, including models, pictures and asked if they wanted a lift. Its OK thanks said the crisps, books. His favourite place in Beeston is The Bean, where he can often be found drinking a dry roast and watching the world go by, or busy we’re walkers! chatting to friends, and of course telling more corny jokes.

I have known Joe for almost twenty years, as he used to be a neighbour of mine. And we’d always have a good chat in the street whilst he tinkered with his beloved car. He’s had three Mini’s since I’ve known him. There’s an interesting story connecting his second and third cars, in that his second Mini was sadly written off in an accident that happened on our road around five years ago. Luckily Joe and the other driver were unhurt, but his little red Mini Cooper didn’t come off so well, and had to go to the great scrapyard in the sky.

Joe has been a member of Notts About Minis for longer than he can remember, and when the other members of the club heard about Joe’s misfortune, they all clubbed together and surprised him with a replacement car, much to Joe’s amazement and driving delight. It was originally silver, but it is now black and white, and decorated with RAF roundels, transfers and stickers, including loads from the London to Brighton run, which Joe has done for the last 18 years. The late journalist John Brunton, who was also a neighbour, wrote an article about the incident for the Evening Post. It also included a great overhead photo taken from John’s balcony. This Mini hasn’t gone without its own adventures, having been stolen from Sainsbury’s car park, whilst Joe was enjoying a meal at Nimboo. Happily the vehicle was recovered in Broxtowe, having only received minor damage. Although being of retirement age, Joe can still be seen walking the grounds around the QMC, where he dons a hi-vis jacket and keeps the

If anyone reading this owns a classic Mini; the modern BMW version isn’t allowed and maybe interested in joining Notts About Minis, they meet once a month at the Rolls Royce site in Hucknall. They also have lots of social events, like the “chip run” to Matlock and displaying their vehicles at numerous car shows. For instance Joe showed his Mini off at this years Beeston carnival. For further details, they can be contacted through their website: nottsaboutminis.co.uk/nam/about/ CF

fly in to Nottingham every 6-7 mins with more buses running through Chilwell out to Long Eaton Beeston

QMC Uni

Nottingham Maid Marian Way & Broadmarsh

trentbarton.co.uk/indigo

Going

Wild in Beeston

And now for Something

Completely Different!

he other day the “trouble ‘n’ strife” and yours truly took time out from our normally hectic round of socialising principally the sampling of the latest coffee and cake offer available on the high street – to explore the wildlife of “Darkest” Derbyshire. Regular readers will, I know, be amazed by the revelation that their intrepid reporter considers a trip out of the county as far as Derbyshire as an adventure not to be undertaken likely! Think wildlife, think travel, think Safari! Those of a certain age (another way of saying the OAPs amongst you) will, I’m sure, remember the very first telly safari adventurers; this is long before Sir Dave made his entry onto our flickering black and white Rediffusion supplied screens. They were the inestimable and for the most part unintelligible Armand and Michaela Denis. Old Armie-baby was a Belgian, so he had a good excuse for being unintelligible but his “glamorous blonde assistant” (remember this is all in 1960 something, when you could

describe an assistant as blonde!) was a public school educated Brit, so I’ve no idea what her excuse was for whimpering away in the background while Armie was explaining to the viewer that the obviously sexually overexcited ape in shot “vos onely doo-ing vot coooms naturlique too de shimpansee!” So, off we set Armand & Michaela-like, up the nether reaches of the Hamps Valley Trail. Never heard of it? Nor had we until the day before, when we found it hiding away Far from the Maddening Crowds of day trippers (okay, I knows it “Madding” but what the hell does that mean!). First mile or so was quite pleasant, not a lot of wildlife, but the sun was shining and the fields still had a good smattering of wild flowers to brighten the scene – bucolic or what! Then we turned a corner....... to be confronted by a Lorry Park! Not just any Lorry Park you’ll understand, this was where old lorries “like old elephants” go to die! There were hundreds of them, in every stage of decrepitude. What a tip in the middle of the Peak District National Park! Disgusted we left the “truck mortuary” and headed off to that old reliable, if tourist filled, Lathkill Dale. Absolutely amazing,

hardly anyone about and the wildlife was incredible with a capital I. Remember this is Derbyshire not Equatorial Africa but what we saw in a couple of hours – sorry I can’t resist a list – Buzzards galore, Peregrine Falcons, Kestrels, a Little Owl on guard by its nest, Redstarts, Spotted Flycatchers, Willow Warbler, Sparrow Hawk and a magic Dipper! But the most amazing of all was a day-flying Bat – it looked like a Pipistrelle (for those who are into bats) and in broad daylight on a hot sunny afternoon, there it was flying around catching insects right above our heads. Talk about amazing – even Armand & Michaela would have been excited “Jolly hockey-sticks, Armand - it’s a bat! Talking about Cecil the Lion – when you’re next about to suffer the gentle ministrations of your dentist, you know, just before the needle enters the most sensitive part of your mouth how about checking out his holiday plans and his skills with a crossbow – should do wonders for your treatment.........aaaaargh! Mike Spencer www.facebook.com/beestonwildlife

Karate Pensioner The

arin and I sit down in a quiet corner of the White Lion. I’ve wanted to speak with Karin for several months now, after her name was put forward in the Pride of Beeston awards, under the Sports Personality of the Year section – surprising to some perhaps because of Karin’s age.

unsurprisingly, in karate. “I’ve used the training to keep fit, and pull myself back. I’d already been offered a place to go to Las Vegas with the squad last Easter. Aidan said providing I could get fit enough he was quite happy enough to keep me in the squad and compete.” And it wasn’t long before Karin was fighting fit again. “I was very fortunate. Not needing to have chemotherapy had a terrific impact. The long term effects of treatment have left me a lot of problems in my upper arm so I have to really work hard to keep it going.”

That part of the story comes later however. Everything began, she tells me, when Karin retired. After giving up work, and trying to do what Karin did work hard. Regular other retirees do, Karin found I was just training with Aidan, as well she got bored. “I’d always as coaching the younger going to help out, been active. Well, I saw members of the DOJO have but Aidan said why this advert for the DOJO. brought her back to the I wasn’t looking to learn not compete? fitness she had before the karate. I just happened to cancer. “After Christmas I So I did and I came see it. It said any age and started training again at a low back with a bronze any ability. At the time a level with no body contact. friend was trying to persuade medal! By February, just three months me to join a line-dancing after the operation, I was back in group! I’m not saying it isn’t a full training and I went back to Las wonderful occupation, but it isn’t for Vegas and competed. I didn’t bring back me.” any medals this time! But I’ve resumed all my So instead she called up Aidan Trimble and began learning. “I was hooked within about three to six weeks. Aidan was always saying ‘go for a grading!’ and eventually I did. We worked up the belts. Then I went to Las Vegas for the first time. I was just going to help out, but Aidan said why not compete? So I did and I came back with a bronze medal!” It must have been quite a high coming back with a medal and Karin tells me her success drove her on. “After that I asked Aidan if at my age I was likely to get my black belt. Aidan said yes.” Together they worked on exercises and strategies for getting her fit and it wasn’t much longer afterwards (only two years!) that Karin got her black belt. However, Karin very humbly says she couldn’t have done it at all without Aidan’s help. “Aidan has absolutely been the person all the time pushing me, helping me and encouraging me.” There’s no doubt that it was the discipline, strength and aspiration that Aidan and the DOJO taught her that helped Karin when she received some terrible news. “Last October they told me I’d got cancer.” It’s the kind of news that would break some people. But Karin found a strength,

but like Karin he has continued to attend the DOJO. He’s an inspirational figure, she tells me, and “absolutely a brilliant instructor.” So she didn’t think she’d win? “No. When I saw the three names I thought the winner would be James. I really did. I just thought they’d put me in because of my age.” But Karin did win, which came as a huge shock to her, so sure wouldn’t win that she hadn’t even prepared anything to say. “I just spoke of the cuff! I probably talked for too long!” All in all, she tells me it was a fantastic evening. “I hope the award helps to raise awareness that just because you’ve retired you can’t start a new hobby. Or because you’ve had an illness you can’t attempt to do something about it yourself. I suppose I was chosen as a bit of an inspirational figure, to show that after such an illness it can be possible to get back fit.”

normal activities. I suppose the award was for doing that.”

This is true. Others would perhaps have let such an illness defeat them. Depression is of course quite a common successor to cancer diagnosis. So what makes Karin different? She is adamant that it is Aidan’s and the DOJO’s influence that have spurred her on.

Ah. So there we are. Now we get to the Pride of Beeston awards. Was it a surprise? I ask. “I didn’t even know I had been nominated for the awards until Aidan told me!” She was on holiday at the time and Aidan, who owns and runs the DOJO on Humber Road, had to ring her up to inform her.

“The great thing about the DOJO is you’ve got people there from sixteen right through to the fifties, and everybody is friendly. We all get on together. Everybody treats everybody else as an equal. I’ve made loads of friends, gone to places I never thought I would have. I can’t praise karate enough.”

“I duly got back and found out I was in the final three, on the basis for, well I say, showing up and doing something I like. It seems a bit of a cheat!”

To find out more about the DOJO you can go to www.karatenottingham.co.uk CF

Karin expresses to me she was very surprised, and not just a little embarrassed, by the nomination. “I’d hate to think I was only nominated because I’m the age I am, whereas other people have done wonderful things too.” One of those people is fellow DOJO member James Wells who was also nominated under the same category. Like Karin he trains and coaches at the DOJO, and he has suffered with extreme illness, in his case leukaemia,

NEWS FROM THE TRAM

The Beeston Arts Trail

tarting August the 22nd local creative Helen Stevenson is rolling out an event that she’s hoping will take Beeston by storm. It’s the first annual I Love Beeston Arts Trail. I sit down with Helen so she can tell me a little more about it and its inception. The idea, she tells me, came from visiting Belper’s art trail earlier in the year. She was deeply impressed by it, and wanted to create something like it here. “I’ve tried to make it as inclusive as possible, to engage with everyone. I’ve managed to get quite a lot of the town engaged. A lot of businesses have been eager to take part.” Helen goes on to show me a list of the events which range from puppet theatre, to story-telling, to arts exhibitions, music events and crafts fairs, all in just the one week period between Saturday the 22nd and Saturday the 29th of August. Now it’s my turn to be impressed. This must have taken months of planning. “I only started it at the end of April,” Helen tells me, smiling. “When you feel really passionate about something it doesn’t really feel like work.” I can appreciate that, but the amount of effort seemed staggering. There must have been hundreds of hours of work to put all this together and the programme is a testament to that. “We’ve got so much talent, so many talented people,” Helen says.

And she wants this to be the first of many? “There’s always so much going on in the town that it just makes sense to me to make it an annual part of our identity. In the future I’d like it to be bigger. I want to get more people involved and make every year more memorable than the last. Maybe next year we’ll move the date so that OXJAM can get involved too.” Okay, so the big picture aside, I ask her what her personal highlights are for the event. Without hesitation, Helen says, “it has to be Melvyn launching it the puppet theatre on the 22nd.” Is that Melvyn Rawlinson, co-creator of award worthy Beestonia the Movie? It’s the very same. “Melvyn’s amazing and enthusiastic. He’s been a real driving force in getting the arts trail together and he’s just a brilliant entertainer. He’s like the jam in a sandwich!” Helen laughs. “Don’t quote me on that!” Sorry, Helen but I had to. We journalists have no morals, you know. The other big event, she tells me, is going to be the Yarn Bombing. “It’s had so much interest!” Some readers may remember that last issue we ran a small piece on the idea of yarn bombing – It’s the “spontaneous outburst of powerful knitting” to paraphrase Wordsworth – and it’s thanks to that article (I imagine) that so many people have already signed up to the event. “The girl guides are doing it, the Beeston Parish church, the Broadgate laundry are doing a knitting, and lots of individuals as well. That should be great. We can really go to town on that. Also, someone’s donating a knitted cape for the beeman. I hope no one pinches it.” Finally, another key mention she tells me is not an event but a venue; The White Lion, where the arts trail kicks off. “Starting at Sergio’s is important to me. He’s made such an effort to make the White Lion a community venue and connect with lots of people.” Very true. I think we can all agree that Sergio has made the White Lion a hugely creative and enjoyable focal point on Beeston’s map. With that Helen’s up. She’s got a lot more to do before the trail begins. I can’t imagine what more she can possibly squeeze in to such a packed event, but I think if anyone can do it, it’s Helen. You can find out more about the I Love Beeston Arts Trail at: www.letsgotobeeston.co.uk facebook.com/LetsGoToBeeston CF

Father Issues t’s been nearly two years since I last got to chat with Scott, so the first thing I have to ask him is what’s been up to since then?

“Since we last met I was the runner up in the English Comedian of the Year 2014. That was great. The final was at the Southbank in London. I came runner up, which is annoying because, like Seinfeld said you are the best loser. No one lost ahead of me!” After deciding to become a comedian in 2009, Scott has toured relentlessly. Not an easy feat with a wife, a young daughter, and one on the way. Small aside; last time we met I mistakenly wrote that he had two kids instead of just one At least I’ll get it right this time. So it’s not easy. Is it worth it? “Forget all the glamour,” Scott says. “The reality of comedy is trying to get home in the middle of the night with overnight road closures. The other night I was trying to get out of a gig so I could beat the man putting out cones on a junction on the M6.” “Comedy isn’t a lifestyle,” he says. “It’s a disease. Normally when you’re driving back at 3AM at the shipping forecast’s been and gone, you’re on the world service, listening to something about Kenya’s monetary policy, you’re tired, you’ve got a Ginsters, and you think what’s this? I’ve just driven to Wales for £52. Why am I doing this? But then you get up the next morning and you think, but if I stop now I’ll never know what happens. It’s that what if… that unknown that you keep pushing for.” But must all be worth it in the end, because after years of hard work, Scott is about to do his first Edinburgh Fringe show. It’s about his dad, Roy and it’s called… About A Roy. “This is the first time I’ve ever done an hour show at Edinburgh. It’s taken 5 years to really get it ready. This show is the best of my club set, with other stories related to my dad. So the whole focus of the show is the relationship between me and my dad. It’s a bit about his general philosophy on things, which is to always get maximum value from any given situation.” I almost shudder at the thought of getting up in front of strangers to talk about my dad. How is he navigating such choppy seas? “Part of the show is I don’t want to turn into my dad, but I know that I am. It’s inevitable isn’t it?” I have to agree. I realised I was turning into my dad when I discovered a taste for wearing Macintoshes and going round charity shops. What about Scott? “I think I realised it when I was at an all you can eat place and I got really stressed in the queue thinking how am I going to get my money’s worth here? It ruined the meal. I was eating duck pancakes in the queue so they wouldn’t take up space on the plate.” Has his dad seen the show? “He has seen it. To say there’s some embarrassing stuff in there about him, he took it very well. I’m sure inside he’s seething!” Okay, the thought of all of this is making me nervous, so I venture back to familiar comedian interview territory. I ask him if he’s had any good heckles recently. “When I talk about bin day I remember someone saying to me you’ve done that bit before! I’ve seen you do that routine before. So I said look mate it’s about bins and I’m recycling!”

An interview with Scott Bennett

And what about other comedians? Are there any touring out there at the moment that Scott would recommend? “There’s a lad touring around the midlands at the moment called Josh Pugh. Definitely one to watch out for. The one show that was big at Edinburgh last year was Funz and Gamez. It’s a kids show but with an adult appeal. It’s a stroke of genius. They’ve just done a pilot for the BBC, which is on the iPlayer.” We go back to talking about the Fringe. Scott is excited but apprehensive. Why? Because he’s taking his family with him. “Yeah, they’re coming up to Edinburgh with me. We’re staying in a static caravan, which sounds un-glamorous, but I’m sure it’s going to be fine.” He smiles nervously. “They’re looking forward to it. There’s so much for families to do there.” Hopefully it will be fun for them, but for Scott it’s going to be a work holiday. We talk about promotion, and what he expects to get out of the festival. “You think it’ll be wonderful, playing to 50 or 60 people twice a day, but the reality is you will be playing to two dogs and a Japanese tourist. It will happen. Hopefully not…” With that he trails off. What about after Edinburgh? “Me and my wife are regulars on Frances Finn, reading the papers on Saturday morning, and the Frances Finn show on Notts TV. Those things have been great. I want to do more of that. Me and my wife are looking at writing something. I want to do a radio podcast type thing.” Okay, I have time for one more question. Is his dad coming to Edinburgh? “He’s coming up for a week for his birthday. He’s going to come to the show.” For Scott’s upcoming shows and more go to www.scottbennettcomedy.co.uk CF

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The Beeston Butterfly

...August to September

After months of hard slog in a new job, I’ve been more akin lately to a blue buttocked insect than a Beestonian Butterfly. A week’s staycation was just what I needed. To most, a week off in Beeston might sound a bit dull, but for me it provided many pursuits I could travel away to enjoy and most of my friends on tap. After a couple of days catching up on general life maintenance, day three of my break was simply about being in Beeston and I enjoyed a hazy day drenching myself in local surroundings. An early cycle by the canal to Highfields kicked off a beautiful summer morning. I drank in the watery scene; The sun drenched lake and colourful bobbing boats making a super shot for my Instagram buddies #Beestonian, while the lakeside café was busy behind me setting up for a day’s trade. Heading back towards the high street, floods of people were making their way across the boulevard to the sports fields. I discovered the campus hosts a national football tournament where children from football academies across the UK compete annually. I learnt this from a guy I met called John. He was from Widnes in and staying at Highlands Hotel in Beeston while supporting his son’s pursuit to be the next David Beckham. Free and floaty I continued on to Rye for a posh breakfast (posted on FB of course), before taking off to explore the bargains in our array of charity shops. I am in need of nothing yet now find in my possession a new Topshop cardigan, retro coffee set and my prized purchase; a vintage set of fruit shaped paper concertina cocktail sticks, several months too late for what I now refer to as the “White Russian Fiasco” – see last issue! Before popping into the Beeston Bakery to load up with baked treats, I took the time to join a crowd listening to a young busker sing Tracey Chapman’s Fast Car adding an ideal soundtrack to the high-street bustle, Aiming myself west, I then took my life into my own hands and hopped back on my bike to take on Chilwell Highroad’s tramlines, a cornflake tart and chocolate fudge brownie swinging from my handlebars destined for Guitar Spot proprietors Jimmy and Derek. I spent a pleasant hour perched amongst the guitars catching up and watching customers come and go as I sipped my fancy coffee. Most memorably though was a smartly dressed middle aged man. He appeared at the door with a selection of leather

goods draped over a nicely suited arm and sporting a colourful silk scarf. He had travelled from Holland and was selling his own hand made leather guitar straps door to door to small musical traders. A touching exchange followed as the gent, who brought to mind a 50s beatnik realised Jimmy and Derek worked together as father and son. The friendly Dutch independent spoke of how he had lost his own father in recent years and missing him greatly advised Jimmy to appreciate this precious time with his dad. True to form the pair were back to banter and bickering before our beatnik chum had barely left the premises, but what a lovely and unusual scene to be part of on a lazy Wednesday afternoon, in a small guitar shop in a small town in the midlands. My next highlight was the Oxjam comedy night at the Victory Club. I’d never been inside the new Oxjam venue before, and the large rooms hidden behind the inconspicuous doorway did not disappoint. Even more delightful was the sight of our local Oxjam team who made the night a hit. Friends old and new (I‘d invited football dad John along) positioned ourselves at a front row table subjecting ourselves to ridicule. The drinks were flowing, comedians entertaining and the local compare hilarious as he targeted us with an acid tongue. We concluded the night across the road at the White Lion where we were warmly welcomed by Sergio who happily agreed to serve us late-night Tapas to soak up our merriment, even throwing in some of his delicious Portuguese custard tarts too. Finally waving goodnight to Widnes John, we made our way back in the early hours of Friday morning to our Beeston bases, congratulating ourselves on yet another excellent local night out.

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There were more events; the Beeston Carnival where Robin Hood and our bumblebee adorned editor frolicked for the paparazzi, Crowm quiz nights, Beestonian BBQs and I too went to splendour. thoughts now are turning to September to see what local shenanigans are scribbled in my diary, firstly though, whats all this I hear about Tuscany?

Top Picks:

Beeston arts trail 22nd Aug white lion Beeston Heritage days 10th – 13th Sept Various Rylands Community Fair 12th Sept: Trent Vale Infant School Oxjam Introducing night 18th Sept: Beeston Youth & Community Centre Oxjam Ceilidh 25th Sept: Victory Club Mel

Station Road, Beeston NG9 1FX Opposite Tesco, next to bus station Call: 0115 876 9440

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Selecta W

hat do you first think about when you hear the word ‘Chernobyl’?

...it’s something that affects everyone in that part of the Ukraine right now, today, as you’re reading this.

If you’re like me (and old enough to remember) it would probably be ‘A 1980’s Soviet nuclear reactor meltdown, grainy grey footage of an evacuated city, a helicopter pilot who refused to stop flying (thus knowingly dooming himself to an unpleasant death by radiation poisoning in order to carry on dumping sand on the exposed radioactive core) and worries about Welsh sheep being contaminated by drifting fallout’. What you probably don’t think about is ‘children, today’. Or ‘hope’.

The terrible truth about the Chernobyl disaster in April 1986 is that it’s not just something that happened nearly thirty years ago, it’s something that affects everyone in that part of the Ukraine right now, today, as you’re reading this. The Belarus area received over 70% of the radioactive fallout from the Chernobyl nuclear explosion in and as a result thousands of children born every year in the area have to grow up in conditions that can lead to them developing thyroid cancer, bone cancer and leukaemia. It’s a nightmare for the often extremely poor parents, many of whom were forcibly rehoused after the accident, removed from their low paid work on the land and put into high-rise housing with all of the accompanying social disruption as well as the ongoing effects of radiation. Oh, and of course these days there’s a de facto ‘civil war’ going on too – it really is no place for anyone to bring up children, let alone ones who are being slowly poisoned simply because of where they live. So ‘hope’ is a bit of a strange word to associate with the region when ‘desperation’ might seem more apt. Now Sal and I are parents we understand how people would do almost anything to help their children, to give them a chance to survive and to gain some form of respite from the insidious and invisible poison that permeates the ground they play on and the air they breathe… And you know what can go some way towards helping these children? Beeston, and Beestonians. I’m being perfectly serious too. Not just Beeston though, nor even just Nottingham – but a national charity, the Chernobyl Children’s Life Line (CCLL). But this year, right now, Beeston is helping give a couple of these Chernobyl children a much, much better chance in life than they might otherwise have. Sal and I hadn’t heard of the Chernobyl Children’s Life Line until a few years ago when we were Robin and Marian-ing at an event in Nottingham’s Council House and we heard a presentation by them showing the guests the work they do and children they help. The charity and its volunteers do something amazing, every year – they raise funds to bring some of the younger poorly children from the Ukraine to the UK for a month, staying with NSPCC-vetted families across the country and whilst they enjoy the trip of a lifetime with parties, care and attention they get something even more valuable – time away from poisoned land, food and air. Those few brief weeks away from home allow their delicate young immune systems a chance to start working again and it boosts their recovery rates and chances of survival. It is literally vital.

The children who get to travel to the UK are those who are poorly – often with thyroid issues, digestive problems and more, caused by their home environment and some have even lost family members in the fighting - but many of the poorlier children cannot travel, and the CCLL helps them with treatment and projects at home. But ask yourself this – even though the host families (many of whom have done it many times now) are utterly dedicated to the care of the children, how desperate must any parent be to send their children (some of whom maybe as young as seven or eight years old) overseas to stay with foreign families for the sake of their health? It’s a huge decision, and a huge commitment for both families and the charity too. And this year there are Chernobyl children in Beeston – two amazing local families have taken children into their homes and are giving them a real chance to recuperate, strengthen and improve their health. Sal and I were honoured once again to be asked to help greet this year’s group visiting Nottingham (including the children staying in Beeston) at a welcoming party at the city’s Ukrainian Centre very recently; we’ll see them a couple more times too as I’m showing them around Nottingham Castle and will be at their farewell party before they return too; they are as delightful and enthusiastic this year as was last year’s group and truly happy to be here. So for all we as Beestonians complain about gridlock, roadworks, the ‘t’ word and other stresses of life, maybe we should see the joy that just being here can bring to young children – and the lifechanging health benefits too. Beeston actually can be good for you and there are some Beestonians, even as you read this, making a difference to their own world, their families’ world and all of our worlds, not to mention most importantly the lives of children from another land and another culture who will return home healthier and full of stories about our great town and city. And that is pretty impressive. For more information: Facebook: Chernobyl Children’s Life Line (CCLL) Nottingham Link Website: www.ccll.org.uk/nottingham Tim Pollard Nottingham’s Official Robin Hood

Robin and the Sheriff of Nottingham after a special bi-lingual Robin Hood play performed by the 2014 Nottingham CCLL children and helpers

Holiday Workshop Beeston.qxp_Layout 1 30/04/2015 12:42 Page 1

Summer Musical Theatre Workshop 2015

The

Grey matter 1. Where in the World does the largest car and Passenger ferry operate? 2. Track 29 at Pennsylvania Station was the point of departure of which famous train? 3. Who made the 1st Atlantic crossing in a hot air balloon in 1987? 4. Which Country opened its first Underground Railway in 1904? 5. What was invented by Kirkpatrick MacMillan a Scot in about 1840? 6. In which shop were the first escalators installed in the UK in 1898? 7. What was the name of the first Nuclear Powered Submarine launched by the USS in 1955? 8. What type of boat has underwater wings that develop lift in the Water? 9. The RENFE is the name of the railway in which European country? 10. In which city is Fiat based 11. Which locomotive reached a record speed of 97.5mph (157km/h) on the London to Leeds run in 1934?

Beeston

Join in the fun Come and enjoy some musical theatre with Stagecoach this summer! If you love to sing, dance and act, Stagecoach Beeston has just the thing for you this summer! Spend 5 days making new friends and having fun, whilst learning lots of pieces from well-known musicals from the West End and Broadway. At the end of the week, we will be putting on a showcase for parents to come and see. Venue: The Alderman White School, NG9 3DU. 17-21 August 9:30am-4pm. £150 per child / £130 sibling rate Wrap around care available 8:30-9:30am and 16:00-16:30

12. What container port on the Thames replaced the Port of London Docks as they closed down?

Open to all children aged 6-18

13. Which car maker received the first royal warrant as a supplier of motor cars to the Crown?

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14. What propelled Leon Serpollet’s car when he broke the world speed record at 110 km/h (74 mph) in 1902?

stagecoach.co.uk/Beeston /Holiday-Workshops Venue: Alderman White School, NG9 3DU Stagecoach Theatre Arts Schools are operated under franchise and are independently owned by their Principals. STAGEC--OACH is a registered trade mark of Stagecoach Theatre Arts Ltd.

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The Beest’s Guide to Splendour How to do the Splendour festival at Wollaton Park… Beest style!

Funfair

Had a go on the Waltzers but didn’t get spun. Noticed that the only people getting spun were young girls, who were screaming a lot. I tried that - screamed for a full minute before getting thrown off for ‘being weird’. Sexism.

Arrival

Hooray! I’m at Splendour! At the entry gate I receive a handy map and schedule. Decide to ignore them both and rely on hunches and intuition.

Drugs

2nd Gig

Their lead singer has a mohican, and now I want one because Ferocious Dog were the best band at Splendour. Everyone loved them and the perfect reflection of this love was the mosh pit. It takes a special band to make a crowd of people beating the shit out of each other seem fun.

Buying a pint is complicated. It relies on a sort of Disney-Park token system whereby you give one set of people real money and in exchange they give you fake Splendour money (let’s call it Sploney), then you go to another set of people and exchange some of the Sploney for booze. I now have 1 cup of warm beer, 1 balloon animal, 4 Sploney’s and zero money.

Obviously superheroes When not getting Beest Groupie + Ferocious D don’t smoke. og punched in the However, face I danced like 4th Gig at this point a maniac. Dear Bananarama. Got stuck behind I bumped reader; whilst a woman filming the set with an into a nice you can only iPad. If you thought phones at bloke from imagine what gigs were bad, iPad bastards are a Lenton and, kind of swampwhole new level of hell. after helping gas nightmare him back up, was festering Beest Groupies he gave me beneath my The Specials a ‘special’ Spandex cameltoe by the end Wasn’t in the crowd for this one cigarette which we both agreed of the set - I had to experience (too much fighting on the dance wasn’t really smoking. Spent 20 it. Things only worsened when floor), so as the haunting intro minutes giggling at the Comedy I spent an hour queuing for a to Ghost Town filled the night I Stage. Then one of the acts came portaloo, to then spend a further strolled up to the Wonderland on and I had a doze. 20 minutes getting out of the bar to meet some mates. On the bloody thing. Ladies in jumpsuits way I discovered a crumpled up you have my deepest sympathy Food - part 2 wad of Sploney by a tree - yay! and respect. I left the Wonder Woke up hungry, sunburnt and So we all sat on hay bales with Woman onesie hooked over a covered in someone else’s curry. massive cocktails, listened to tap - I pray to God no one used Am now hungry for curry. Found the distant sound of 2 Tone and that tap. a spare fiver in my back pocket talked crap. The perfect way to which was enough to buy a portion end Splendour.* of ‘Woodland Rice’ from one of the 3rd Gig food stalls. What the hell is going James. There are on with food at festivals - there’s two kinds of people: bits of tree bark in this! those who throw

Food - part 1

Dress code

Kids Zone

Should’ve used the map. Am now stuck in toddler hell. Note: “Ha! You brought children - what were you thinking?” is not a good conversation starter here. Nicked a balloon animal from a 4yr old and got chased off by a bloke in a massive bear costume. Bit of a surreal start.

Drink

Sat down on a bit of grass and laid out my festival picnic: 1 x pack of jam sarnies - crushed 1 x sausage roll - crushed 1 x pack of Ginger cake - crushed 1 x ill-advised giant watermelon Punched a hole in the watermelon and ate fistfuls of pink pulp whilst watching my first gig.

1st gig

To Kill a King, during which I realised I wasn’t drunk enough for this yet. Need more Sploney’s.

Wandered around the other stalls in a depressed, penniless funk. But what’s this hanging out of a bin at the back of the vintage stall? A superhero outfit - woohoo!! Walking across to the Confetti stage, I’ll admit had me feeling slightly self-conscious, what with the tiny skirt riding up with each step and the bright yellow whip bouncing off my increasingly exposed bum. Maybe a Wonder Woman onesie isn’t my thing… But then Ferocious Dog started up and nothing else mattered.

cups of beer into festival crowds, and people who are not twats. *Except for Pizza, obviously. The Beest